#they have a perfect trilogy: po knows exactly who and what he is

[mechieonu]

just binged the entire trilogy and. yeah. i honestly don't understand what left of Po's story needs to be told

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “The Force Awakens”

Welp, “The Last Jedi” is officially coming out in theaters FRIDAAAAYYYY so I thought “... I might as well rewatch the last onee.... I mean... why not?”

*scats opening theme crazily out loud*

GUYS THEY TELL YOU WHO “THE LAST JEDI” IS IN THE OPENING CRAWL!

Plus Yoda actually calls him “the last of the Jedi” in Episode 6

That Imperial ship passing in front of the planet there looks like a big fat middle finger.  Like “Haha suckas!”

BB-8!

So, age old question, is BB-8 a boy or a girl?  I think BB-8′s a boy...

Oh hi Max von Sydow, who’s barely in this movie!

So how is the Max von Sydow character connected to Luke?  And how does he have the last bit of the map needed to find Luke?

Yeeep, this is a J.J. Abrams movie

Oh that one Stormtrooper had a freaking flamethrower!

“I’ll [Poe] come back for you [BB-8]!”  Aaawww...

I like that the first indication we get that Finn is not an ordinary Stormtrooper is that we actually hear him breathing.  You never hear the other Stormtroopers breathing, just their voices.

*Kylo Ren’s leitmotif starts playing*   Yessss, blare those French horns, John Williams!

OH THAT’S AWESOME

Lens flare!

Take a shot every time one comes up in this movie.

“So who talks first?  You talk first, I talk first?  It’s just very hard to understand you with all the... apparatus...”  OK, so there’s the indication that Poe clearly knows who Kylo Ren was before he turned to the Dark Side so he absolutely gives no shits and goes forward with the straight on mockery.  Amazing.

He’s probably like “Ooooh why hello, Darth Edgelord.  I like your cape, did your mom make it for you?  NO, BECAUSE SHE AND I ARE TOTES BFFs NOW, I HAVE A DROID FOR A SON, AND YOU HAVE A STUPID FACE!”

Oh hi Phasma, who barely has anything to do in this movie!

You guys got Brienne of Freaking Tarth to play a bad guy, and she doesn’t do anything?!?

Aaawww, BB-8!

That’s the nightwatcher!  And it pops up in “Forces of Destiny!”

John Boyega!

Phasma’s armor in that shot doesn’t really look as shiny as it usually does.  Maybe it’s the low lighting

Rey!

Oh I love Rey’s theme

No lie, Rey’s speeder kinda looks like a USB drive

Man, Zazu looks terrible....

What the heck is that?

*imitates Unkar Plutt*  ONE QUA-TAH PO-TION

So has anyone actually taken the time to figure out how long Rey has been on Jakku based on the tally marks on the wall?

BB-8 looks so offended that Rey just shushed him

Oh my gosh, BB-8′s little “Yep!”

Guys, I want a BB-8 so bad now.  Please get me one.

Holy crap, what the heck did they do to Poe?

Oh hello Hux!

I like the little hissing noise that happens when Finn takes off his Stormtrooper helmet

WHY IS THERE A CABLE?!?!?

Wilhelm Scream!

Oh, there’s a targeting thing on the windshield too!

How the heck could Kylo sense that Finn was exactly that one Stormtrooper who was freaked out at the village?  And how does he know Finn’s identification number?  Did he extract the number just on the whim of it?

“No droid can be that important!”  “This one [BB-8] is!”  ThAT’S HIS SON, DAMMIT

Finn gradually stripping off all of his Stormtrooper gear reminds me of “The Prince of Egypt” for some reason.  Plus there’s a sequence of him trekking through the desert to get to a settlement.

“They’re [Hux’s soldiers] obviously skilled at committing high treason.”  The sass is strong with this one...

Hux is like “Son of a bitch...”

Happabore!

Finn’s face when he sees Rey beat off Unkar’s men!

*Rey charges at Finn like an angry bull*  Pfffttt...

“Yes I am.  I'm with the Resistance, yeah.  *whispers* I’m with the Resistance.”  Finn is the K2-SO of the sequel trilogy.  Brilliant.

“[Finn] Stop taking my hand!” Oh let him!

*Rey offers Finn her hand*  Thank you.

AN:  Just a heads up.  I’m only 31 minutes in.  Because I am a motormouth and the video’s stalling so I got time to write down more thoughts.

“That one’s garbage!”  Don’t call the Falcon garbage!

Run, little soccer ball [BB-8], run!

*Rey and Finn absolutely wreck the Niima outpost with the Falcon*  Guys... no...

Holy shit so what exactly happened at the Battle of Jakku that so many Star Destroyers crashed to the planet’s surface?

“I’m [Finn] getting pretty good at this!”  That’s great, kid!  Don’t get cocky!

*The Falcon makes a sharp right out of the graveyard*  OOOOHHHH THAT WAS NICE!

According to the script for this movie, this dude’s name is Mitaka.... please tell me his first name is Hakuna

Wouldn’t Kylo recognize the make and model of the Falcon?  Because, you know, that’s his dad’s ship

“What girl?”  The one.  The one you’re gonna get super pissed at/obsessed with in the next movie.  Because status and other crap.

“Droid, please!”

Where the heck is the Ileenium system?  Probably in the Outer Rim as per usual I suppose?

Pretty sure BB-8 just flipped Finn off

“[Rey] You got a boyfriend?  Cute boyfriend?”  Oh my God...

The hell is that?  It’s even got teeth!

HAN AND CHEWIE!

Han’s like “Oh yeah.  Reunited with my baby.”

Where and what the heck are half the things/planets Han and Finn talk about?

Why didn’t Han have BB-8 hide with Rey and Finn?  He doesn’t know the Death Gang is working with the First Order so isn’t it only common sense that he take extra precautions?  Well then again, this is Han we’re talking about...

“I got a bad feeling about this.”  That’s prequel style IGABFAT

Take a shot every time someone fires a blaster at a sealed door and it opens

“I [Han] never ask that question until after I’ve done it.”  Same.

“This is not how I thought this day was gonna go.”  Also same.

Hi Andy Serkis (Supreme Leader Snoke)!

I like how Kylo just slowly turns toward Hux like “Excuuuusse me, bitch?”

I know Snoke here is just a hologram but dang the motion capture gets so much better in the next movie

Please tell me we get more of the Knights of Ren in the next movie.  C’mon, Rian Johnson, don’t let me down.

*claps with each word*  More flashbacks concerning Kylo’s turn to the Dark Side, please!

Ohhh the Force theme!  I hear you, John Williams!

“I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.”  I mean, it is a green screen...

“Women always figure out the truth.”  Salud!

I would love to see/read an AU of Rey working as second mate with Han and Chewie

*sings along with the “Jabba Flow”*

“Where’s my [Maz] boyfriend?” “Chewie’s busy working on the Falcon.” *spit take*

Skeksises!

“Forgive me.  I feel it again...” *resists urge to sing “Johanna” from Sweeney Todd*

“... the pull to the light.”  Oh thank God.

How the heck was Vader’s helmet recovered from Endor?

“Leia doesn’t wanna see me [Han].”  Why the heck not?!?

Wait, that attack on the village in the beginning was Finn’s first battle?!?

The heck...

Biggest question out of the whole movie:  how was Luke’s first lightsaber recovered from Cloud City in Episode 5?

Yoda...

Palpatine?  Did I just hear Palpatine?

Alec Guinness Obi-Wan...

The heck kind of ship is that?

“These are your first steps...”  Ewan McGregor!

So Maz isn’t Force sensitive but she knows about it... please tell me she’s met Chirrut somewhere before the events of Rogue One

Roll those r’s, Hux!

No, not Martha Jones!

How the heck are the beams separating after being shot into space?  Were they separately programmed to hit a specific planet before Starkiller Base fired them?

“Where’d you [Maz] get that [Anakin’s lightsaber]?”  “A good question... for another time.”  Well that’s mighty convenient!

*Kylo Ren’s leitmotif starts playing*  Here we go...

Han just shot that Stormtrooper without looking.  Badass.

That’s like Hawkeye in “The Avengers” shooting down that one Chitauri without looking

*in best TR-8R voice*  TRAITOR!

Those wave vortexes though!

*Kylo pops out of nowhere*  Oh crap!

I like how when Kylo uses the Force to make people stop in place, it’s just like they literally freezed and they look so uncomfortable and rigid when it happens

I just noticed that whenever Adam Driver speaks like really softly, his voice gets a little high pitched

So how did Kylo knock out Rey with the Force?  Is it like a unique Force ability that’s already out there?

In Rebels, the loth wolf knocks Sabine out but it’s more of a roofie breath effect.  Here, Kylo does this kinda pulling motion when he does it.

Oh my God, Leia...

GOD DAMMIT, 3PO

OH MY GOSH BB-8 RUNNING TOWARD POE WITH JOY!

#WeNeedMorePoe2k17

Fun Fact:  the medic attending Chewie is played by Christopher Lee’s niece

“Princesses...”  Excuse you [3PO]?!?

“R2-D2 has been in low power mode ever since Master Luke went away...”  Well, that’s convenient!

Something I want to see:  young Ben Solo traveling with his dad Han Solo. 

Dad Solo:  A Star Wars Story

“Where am I [Rey]?”  “You’re my [Kylo] guest.”  Is Kylo always super smarmy with his prisoners?

*Kylo takes off his mask*  Oh no, he’s... a regular human being... with somehow perfect hair...

*shrugs*

I mean, hey, apparently we’re getting Beefcake Kylo in “The Last Jedi,” so I guess this was Star Wars getting its fandom ready...

Hey guys, I found the cast of Rogue One.

“You [Rey] know I [Kylo] can take whatever I want.”  EEEUGGHHHHH

This is how the script describes Kylo’s first attempt at reading Rey’s mind:  Kylo Ren nearly TOUCHES HER FACE...  THEY'RE BOTH SURPRISED: they react to a feeling that passes between them -- AN ENERGY THEY RECOGNIZE IN EACH OTHER. And then it's gone. Adversaries again.

STAR WARS, EXPLAIN!  I AM CONFUSION!

“You... you’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.”  OOOHHHHHH

So what is Snoke’s backstory?  Apparently he’s older than both Plagueis and Palpatine and he’s got his face cut up like a Papa John’s pizza.  So what’s up?

[Kylo starts stalking down the hall] *starts scatting “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees*

Bwahahahahahaha... *deep breath*  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Those two Stormtroopers though!

So to power Starkiller Base, they suck the energy out of a Sun?  Wasn’t that used in “Revenge of the Fallen?”

“It’s just another Death Star.”   AMEN!

“Some things never change.”  “True.  You [Han] still drive me [Leia] crazy.”  AAAGGHHH

*Han and Leia hug*  AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH

What the heck is Galactic Standard Time?  The announcement at the base said that everyone needs to re-synchronize their time to that.  So does that mean there’s a Galactic Daylight Saving Time as well?

“We’re making our landing approach at light speed?”  Uhhh yeah... that’s gonna work out well...

*The Falcon slides to a stop*  Yeaahhhh no, everyone’s dead after that.

“That’s not how the Force works!”  Best.  Line.  Ever.

I still want that on a poster.

If Rey could get a hold on a blaster, why can’t she also just knock out a random trooper and take his armor?

Finn, why did you leave Phasma at the desk by herself?!?!?

What are those two troopers?

*Finn and Rey hug*  Aaaawwww....

“It would take a miracle to save us now.”  Oh but of course.

No lie, Kylo with his mask on kinda reminds me of Daffy Duck for some reason. 

Aaw Finn gave Rey his jacket!

“BEN!”  WhAt, Daaaad?!?!?

Oh that shot’s awesome

“I’m [Kylo] being torn apart.”  HI BEING TORN APART, I’M DAD!

NOOOOOOOOOooooooooo....

*Han runs his hand along Kylo’s cheek before falling*  Gooodd.... I’mmmm not OK, I am not OK

*Leia senses Han’s death with the Force*  AAAAAAGGGHHH

Take a shot whenever you see a random Stormtrooper go flying from an explosion

I just realized that when Kylo was giving his little speel, he was looking directly at Rey and completely ignored Finn standing right beside her.

“TRAITORRRRRRR!!”  Oh there ya go.  Now ya pissed him off.

“That lightsaber- it belongs to me!”  IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!

*Rey uses the Force to summon the lightsaber*  WHOOOOOOO LET’S GOOO!

Oh wow, they’re just hacking down trees right and left.

Ex-PLOsions...

*Rey does a somersault*  PARKOUR!

I love how Rey’s just basically using the lightsaber like a bat.

*softly*  Oooohh the Force theme...

That shot’s awesome too.  Holy crap.

Rey just sliced up Kylo’s face and arm like a Christmas ham.

[Rey and Kylo get separated]  *sings*  We’ll meet again... don’t know when... don’t know where...

I wonder if Rey even knows who Leia is.  Stupid question but it’s gotta be asked sometime...

Someone hug Chewie, dang it!

The first thing R2 does when he wakes up is insult 3PO.  Amazing.

So how long was R2 asleep?  In extension, how long has Luke been away?

Leia:  May the Force be with you

*cries*

Skellig Island [Ahch-To] looks gorgeous

How long has Luke been standing there?  Did he know Rey was coming and go “Oh, I gotta do a dramatic turn around and reveal when she comes.  Better get ready...”

*Rey offers Luke the lightsaber*  So was there a hand attached to that?

It would be pretty freaking hilarious if in the next movie, Luke takes it and then pulls a Moana and just chucks it.  I would literally die laughing.