#they have a particular vibe of “the show has ruined the book foundations how can ppl enjoy this now” to it and every time

[collegeboysam]

huh a post seems suspicously overly negative about show's devil's minion with older daniel *checks* oh. a marius deep throater. this is why

[once-upon-a-ouat]

OUAT Rewatch 1x16 “Heart of Darkness”

This episode got dark just as the title promised and I loved that. Just as Regina said, “Everyone has a dark side”. Even our beloved fairytale heroes. OUAT explores human nature rather thoroughly and always leaves me fascinated with the results.

Snow was such a badass in this episode. I loved that bloodthirsty side of her but I’m glad that she got back to how she was. It was still interesting to see what she would turn into without love in her heart. It also gave us some insight into the person that Regina has become although she didn’t have her love erased from her heart. I loved Snow’s resourcefulness in this episode. It’s already been established that she’s resourceful (she managed to survive on her own) but here it was a bit different. Combined with the hatred that was now the only thing left in her heart, her creativity got a dark side to it that was actually pretty frightening. The writers used the opportunity to show just how much Regina’s actions had hurt Snow and that the thing that was preventing her from returning the favor was the love that normally filled her heart. But with that love gone, she gave into the pain and the desire for revenge. I loved how she agreed to go with Grumpy because she was hoping Rumple could help her in her quest for vengeance. The interaction with the dwarfs at the beginning of the episode only strengthened the one in the end and the storyline in general. It was awesome to see her apologize to her friends and to see them be willing to risk everything to help her once again.

David in the Enchanted Forest was awesome to watch (to differ from his Storybrooke counterpart but I’ll get to that later). I loved that despite the fact that he set out to find Snow, he still had his own story going on and that interfered with his reunion with his love (btw, Red’s appearance was awesome albeit brief). Now, kissing a woman that doesn’t even remember you was not the best idea as he probably came to realize. And neither was taking an arrow although it was very romantic. I loved that he saw Snow's dark side but still didn't give up on her. You know that's a contrast to Storybrooke David so I won't delve deeper into it.

Rumple was awesome. He was very comical but an evil genius as always. I love how he gave Snow a potion to rid her of her love in order to get her hair to bottle said love because he was certain her love would be restored. I have to admit that the first time I watched this episode I thought "There's no way he'll succeed" and then it worked and he got love in a bottle and I was like "HOLY FUCK!". It was terrifying but also so fucking impressive.

Poor Mary Margaret! She had so much going on in the past episodes and now this. It's admirable she managed to keep it together for so long. Although she kinda had a meltdown during her questioning but it's totally understandable. The "I was talking to you" tho. Emma did not see that coming. The knife in the heating vent and David's distrust totally finished her. It was heartbreaking to see her so defeated in that last scene with Emma. It's understandable why she decided to escape (1. Why the hell are there no surveillance cameras in that Sheriff Station? 2. How did Regina plant the key under the freaking mattress?) but it was still upsetting because she said she trusted Emma and yet, her actions didn't show it.

Emma was so adorable in this episode. I loved how hard she was trying to prove Mary Margaret’s innocence, but also knew she had to move the case forward because otherwise Regina would fire her and then Mary Margaret would be in even more trouble. That scene between the two of them in the end of the episode was so awesome. Emma was just as upset as Mary Margaret about the current turn of events and I feel like she was losing her own faith in herself and that’s why she asked Mary Margaret to believe in her. Knowing that her friend had faith in her and counted on her would give her the needed strength to go forward and prove her innocence. I loved that she ended up going to Gold even though earlier in the episode she was trying to convince Mary Margaret not to trust him. “I approve of your results” was a great line in my opinion. It showed that Emma was ready to cross lines in order to protect the people she loves and we can also see that in the later seasons too. I loved her interactions with Henry, and the part with the skeleton keys was cool but I understand why she still doesn’t believe in the Curse. Skeleton keys are not necessarily magical although that particular set looked like something that came out of a book about fairytales. And now Emma is onto Regina. The conflict is getting messier and messier and I’m loving it.

I absolutely loved Regina in this episode. She was very self-aware here which we haven’t really seen from her before. She was always insisting that she wasn’t evil and wasn’t trying to ruin people’s lives, but here she really owned up to who she was. I loved the self-irony in “Evil doesn’t always look evil. Sometimes it’s staring right at us and we don’t even realize it.”. Smooth move, Regina. And I absolutely loved her scene with Mary Margaret. She looked so sympathetic and sounded so genuine. And, in fact, she was. There wasn’t even one lie in what she said. I loved how she compared herself with Mary Margaret. It was extremely funny because we know how much she hates her. I also loved how the writers keep reminding us about Regina’s motivation and build the suspense as to what happened. At this point we’ve had her mention her lost love five times and it makes us wonder how that happened.

David. Oh my God, David! Why? I’m so done with him. I can’t wait for the Curse to break so that he can stop being such an idiot (and I don’t really want the Curse broken; season one had a vibe to it that none of the next seasons could quite recapture). It was cute that he wanted to help Mary Margaret but then it all went to hell. I’m having a problem here with how the whole thing happened. Didn’t you fucking notice that in those memories Mary Margaret had long hair and was wearing... I don’t know, a fucking cloak? I think that was so unnecessary and the writers only included it to create drama. And they still haven’t explained why the fuck David suddenly started blacking out again.

Henry and August’s interaction was interesting. We got some more clues as to who August is and learned why he’s in Storybrooke, but just like before it simply raised more questions. I loved the air of mystery that the writers managed to create around August and we have a few more episodes to go before we finally learn who he is. It just creates even more suspense and the levels of that are already insane. On a side note, I loved the little moment between Henry and Ruby. Especially since she didn’t trust him in 1x04.

Gold was interesting to watch but I’m not very certain what he’s doing because, like I mentioned in my previous review, I really don’t remember how the main story developed. I know the general direction in which it went but I can’t recall details so I’m a bit lost here and therefore can’t really say much about him in this episode. Maybe after watching the next episodes I’ll be able to piece it together and will discuss his course of actions in one of the upcoming reviews.

Favorite scene: David and Snow’s True Love’s kiss. That scene was so amazing. I cried because of how sweet their reunion was. David managed to restore the love in her heart. How romantic is that? It was really moving. But of course they had to ruin the moment. Now though it’s Snow’s turn to find David. I think it was kinda dumb of George’s people to just leave her in the woods though. It was obvious that David cared very much about her which meant that George could use her to cause him pain. If they were a little smarter, they would’ve taken her with them. But the scene was cool anyway.

Least favorite scene: David asking Mary Margaret if she killed Kathryn. I honestly don’t know what he expected from that conversation. Even if she had killed her, she surely wouldn’t have told him. That was so idiotic of him. What I loved from that scene was that Mary Margaret told him to get lost. It was hard as hell for her but she still stood up for herself and I respect her for that. The contrast between that scene and the one above though. It served very well to show us once again how much exactly the Curse is screwing them over.

Favorite line: “I always believe evil isn’t born. It’s made.” - Regina to David

There were so many great lines in this episode and I had such a hard time choosing only one, but ultimately I decided on this one. It resonates with my beliefs and I loved it since the first time I heard it.

Least favorite line: “Words, words, words. That’s what love is.” - Snow to David

Okay, I needed a least favorite line and this sounded disrespectful towards love so that’s why it’s here.

I loved this episode. It built quite well on the foundation that the last episode established. I loved the development in most of the relationships featured throughout it. Ginnifer Goodwin portrayed Snow's change of heart very well. Also, soundtrack. The episode was very intriguing and I can't wait to see what tricks the characters will pull out of their sleeves next time.

[fromtheringapron]

Coliseum Critique: WWF Rampage ‘91

It’s so easy to write off the WWF Coliseum Home Video releases of the ‘80s and ‘90s as merely products of their time because, well, they are. And truthfully, it’s tough explaining their appeal to anyone who wasn’t fortunate enough to have them on the shelves of their local video store back in the day. But thanks to the WWE Network finally caving to years of demand, they’ve been uploaded for critical reappraisal. That they’ve been so requested by fans suggests they’re were more than just a fad, and I’ll be exploring why with the Coliseum Critique.  

I chose to start with WWF Rampage ’91 because, um, The Rockers teaming up with The Big Bossman? Count me the fuck in. In all seriousness though, I feel like this tape is pretty exemplary of the Coliseum Home Video library. There are a bunch of random matches strewn together, with some silly segments sprinkled in between. That may not seem like much in a time where big matches are given away for free on Raw every week, but matches between two name talents didn’t happen all the time on TV back in ’91 so something like Road Warrior Animal vs. Paul Roma is made to feel all the more special and important. It’s almost like not showing all of your roster on TV every week to the point of overexposure can actually work in getting everyone over. Hmmm.

Anyway, let’s get down to it. I’ll be structuring these reviews a bit differently than my regular ones and I’m honestly still figuring out how to do that so bear with me:

Golfing with Sean Mooney, Gene Okerlund, and Bobby Heenan: This is a series of segments shown between each match, but I think it’s best to keep it as one entry because I’m lazy. It’s not a proper Coliseum Home Video release if Sean Mooney isn’t hosting it. It’s hard to describe the appeal of Mooney, but I do think it has something to do with the fact he seems like your average newscaster who just so happens to be thrown into the wacky world of pro wrestling and deals with it accordingly. He’s also not unlike Julie Chen on Big Brother in the sense that his awkward, stilted manner of talking actually enhances his charm.

He’s joined by Okerlund and Heenan at a golf course, which is apparently located in Stamford, CT and is probably just Vince McMahon’s backyard. The segments are mostly just Heenan being incompetent at golf despite Okerlund’s attempts at giving him lessons. That’s another thing about Coliseum Home Video. You’ll get these random segments that have nothing to do with wrestling, but are nonetheless a delight. It’s just a hoot seeing larger-than-life characters try to do everyday stuff.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Mr. Perfect (champion) (with The Coach) defeated The British Bulldog via disqualification: Perfect and Bulldog wrestled each other a lot on the house show circuit in the spring/summer of ’91. Mooney keeps calling Perfect “The Flawless One” on commentary and it annoys me a great deal. Stop trying to make fetch happen, Sean. This match also gives us a rare look at Perfect’s short-lived manager The Coach, who is such a downgrade from Heenan and is super unnecessary. Since they’re setting up Bret Hart as the top contender for the IC title by the time of this match, he shows up in Bulldog’s corner mid-match but winds up causing Bulldog to get disqualified when he attacks Perfect. If I were Bulldog, I’d actually be pissed at Bret for costing me the title. He really couldn’t rise above his tiff with Perfect to help his brother-in-law win the title? I guess Owen was right; Bret is too damn selfish.

The Texas Tornado fought The Warlord to a double count-out: This takes places in Madison Square Garden. The Warlord’s look is amazing, sorry. Seriously one of my favorites. I know some people mock it, but I dig the Phantom of the Opera meets Star Trek vibe of it all. You know who doesn’t look amazing? The Texas Tornado, who is wearing years of drug use on his face by this point. I’d say more but HOLY FUCK JIM NEIDHART IS ANNOYING ON COMMENTARY. I have no idea why they thought his work in 30-second Hart Foundation promos would translate into hours-long television broadcasts, but this match takes place smack in the middle of that experiment. As for the match, both guys get counted out of the ring, but Neidhart’s commentary caused me to nearly blackout so I kinda feel like I missed most of it.

Road Warrior Animal defeated Paul Roma (with Hercules): Different MSG show, same annoying Neidhart commentary. What’s really distracting here though is that the order of the classic red/white/blue ring ropes has been switched up, with blue as the top rope instead. It’s amazing how just swapping the red and blue ropes can suddenly make the WWF look like a knock-off indy fed. Anyway, Roma and Hercules flip a coin before the match to see who will wrestle Animal but since this is Power & Glory post-WrestleMania VII, they’re already losing either way. No idea of Road Warrior Hawk’s whereabouts during this match, but I’m guessing it’s due to an injury, drugs, or the classic wrestling mix of both.

The Big Bossman & The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Janetty) defeated The Mountie & The Nasty Boys (with Jimmy Hart): One of the coolest things about Coliseum Home Video is that you’d sometimes get these ultra rare team-ups you would never see on television. The Rockers teaming up The Bossman is a prime example, so my enjoyment of this match largely coasted on that basis alone, or maybe it’s just because Shawn wears one of those silly Rockers hats to the ring completely stone-faced. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk it about it before, but The Mountie’s entrance music is incredible. It’s like an aerial shot of the Canadian Rockies put to sound. Just beautiful. On a grim note, it’s taken me forever to realize the Bossman is wearing the Confederate Flag on the sleeve of his shirt. And here I thought he was problematic for killing Al Snow’s dog and ruining the funeral for Big Show’s dad.

The Dragon defeated Demolition Smash: Simply referring to Ricky Steamboat as “The Dragon” does not feel kosher in any way, but that’s what the WWF wants us to roll with. Like, I get they wanted him to appeal to younger viewers, but didn’t he already do a pretty a good job of that in his first run just by being Ricky Steamboat? The funny part is that The Dragon was actually my introduction to Steamboat, as I owned his Hasbro figure growing up. This is from the same MSG show with the messed-up ropes. Again, distracting. Watching Demolition Smash here all by himself makes me deeply sad. He’s stripped of everything that made Demolition the top tag team in all of wrestling just a year prior. No Axe, no Crush, no Rick Derringer entrance music, no S&M masks. Even Mr. Fuji has bailed on him. No wonder why he turned to a life of Long Ranger masks and stealing people’s stuff. The poor guy had nothing.

The Barbarian (with Bobby Heenan) defeated Jake Roberts via count-out: My mind drifted during this match, admittedly. I will say The Barbarian’s look is also amazing. They really did a good job of making sure both former members of the Powers of Pain look like total badasses. This takes place during that special time where Earthquake murdered Jake Roberts’ pet snake Damien on TV. Quake gets involved in the match here to continue the feud, although when he came to ringside I started thinking what it would’ve been like if he were managed by Heenan instead. Like, I imagine Heenan would’ve quickly picked up a guy whose raison d’etre was once to put Hulk Hogan permanently on the shelf, yes? The downside is that we’d be robbed of those amazing promos where Quake is bouncing around with Jimmy Hart shrieking in the background. Anyway, The Barbarian holds a victory over Jake Roberts. How about that?

Greg Valentine defeated Haku: This is from the other Rampage event, broadcast exclusively in the UK a month after WrestleMania VII. Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper are on commentary for this. I don’t really have much to say about the match, other than Greg Valentine as a face is super weird. It’s such a contrast to his “grumpy bus driver” aesthetic.

Power & Glory (Hercules & Paul Roma) (with Slick) fought The Orient Express (Kato & Tanaka) (with Mr. Fuji) to a double count-out: Okay, this is the random ass shit I want out of a Coliseum Home Video release. You see, kids, a classic Coliseum Home Video match isn’t a showcase of technical expertise or a high-risk spotfest. Rather, it’s the matches that make you stop in your tracks and say, “Um, what?” That’s simply the Coliseum Home Video way, and a generation of fans accepted it.

Heel vs. heel matches are already pretty rare for this time period, but what also makes this match a bit of an odd duck is that both teams were on their way out by the time of this video’s release. The Orient Express never got that huge of a push, but Power & Glory look like a shadow of the fresh-faced tag team they were just a year prior. Hercules in particular looks like he’s aged 10 years, and I could probably write up a separate entry on the dreariness of Herc’s final months in the WWF alone. It’s appropriate that this match ends in a draw considering both teams are going absolutely nowhere. And, wow, two Paul Roma matches on this tape? Coliseum Home Video, you sneaky temptress.

At Home with Paul Bearer: I love skits like this. It’s fluff, yes, but it’s also character development just for the sake of it. This honestly would’ve freaked me out as a kid, especially the part where a human corpse falls out of Bearer’s closet. Bearer shows us his cocktail bar where he makes his favorite drink, a Bloody Mary except we’re supposed to believe it’s actually blood from a dead person named Mary. He can also make a Bloody Jane, Cindy, and Tom. His favorite book is Death of a Salesman which, I mean, cool if you like it, Paul, but I’m personally not an Arthur Miller fan. He’s also apparently inherited the Macho King’s throne after Randy Savage retired from that role. I’m kinda disappointed we didn’t get to see the rest of his home. What’s his bathroom look like?

The Ultimate Warrior defeated The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) via disqualification: The Warrior/Taker feud is proof that you can go totally out there with a storyline and still have people invested in it. I mean, I’m pretty sure the basis of the feud is that Taker tried to murder the Warrior by locking him in a casket, which in turn triggered Warrior’s claustrophobia (there is a lot of attempted murder in early ‘90s WWF, if you pay close attention). Warrior then sought guidance from Jake Roberts, who trained him by burying him up to his head in a grave and later betrayed him by leading him to a room where he was bit by a fake cobra in a box. Um, okay, not sure how they’re getting from point A to point B there, but whacked-out shit like this is why I watch wrestling.

It also helps that I actually dig the Warrior/Taker pairing because I think the characters compliment each other quite well, with Warrior’s frenetic energy contrasting nicely to Taker’s cold, emotionless demeanor. One thing that surprised me about this match is that Warrior gets his ass kicked for much of it. Taker is really being made to look like a legit threat around this time, which sets him up perfectly for Hogan later in the year. He gets some of Warrior’s face paint on his gloves, which Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary seems to mistake as human skin on commentary. That’s a tasty visual if there ever was one.

And with that, the tape reaches its conclusion!

What I’ve Learned: Coliseum Home Video releases were a great way of developing characters without worrying about putting them near a wrestling ring or wasting any precious television time. In retrospect, they also serve as a nice history lesson as to what the feuds and roster were like at the time of the video’s release, and this particular tape gave me plenty of insight into the state of things in the spring/summer of 1991. Yes, the matches are randomly strewn together, and they wouldn’t be able to pull it off successfully today, but it’s a nice reminder of a time where booking made matches between wrestlers on the lower end of the card still fresh and important. Other things I’ve learned: Bret is too damn selfish, the works of Arthur Miller aren’t interesting, The Bossman isn’t quite as reputable a policeman as everyone thinks, The Barbarian and The Warlord are the fashionistas we’ve always needed, and Jim Neidhart should stay far, far away from the commentary booth.