#they hate us sure but they hate trans women with a special awful fire | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

its-a-lark-blog · 6 years ago

Photo

(Art by Carlos Amaral.)

Otherkin; As in, Not Your Kin

Cor, look at that sexy beast! Anyway, I wanted to write this as a message to non-otherkin to explain both why we're here, why there'll always be more of us, and why we aren't going anywhere. This is aimed at trans folk especially who wrongly believe that we exist to torment them.

Buckle up, it'll be a ride.

An emotional one, probably.

This is a tricky topic to talk about. I think the problem is is how does one talk about deep-seated, emotional pain without foolishly inviting the melon collies?

It's a pickle.

The thing is is that I absolutely do have to touch on something that I know will make most people uncomfortable in order to move forward. You see, as a disabled person who's both physically scarred and deformed, I've known nothing but the hatred of humanity for the apparently grotesque sin of my birth.

Your privilege, in this case, is that you'll never know what it feels like to live day to day with a crushing burden of guilt over actually having been born, and choosing to stay alive. As I covered in my prior tirade about vaccines and cures, humans don't really like that which isn't like them -- they respond unreasonably with fear or hatred.

Therefore, if I am the target of this, then surely I'm not human?

I believe that imprinting is a thing humans do. However, if the only home you've known is broken and your parents have only one of two modes -- absent, or abusive -- then you're unlikely to imprint upon them. I imprinted upon dogs. You see, my youngest self found that dogs were patient, kind, and loving. I didn't feel all this rampant hatred that wracked the minds of others, so am I a dog?

I don't have any illusions about my otherkin status. I don't think I have a special soul, I don't believe there's anything to it beyond my disocnnect with humanity.

Just as a trans person identifies with a different gender, I identify with a different species. I know -- for a fact -- that for some trans people, the reason they're the way they are is due to self-loathing of their own gender for one reason or another. It's not that different, really. It's just that I loathe my species. Humanity isn't particularly special.

This might sound like misanthropy, but that's an incorrect appellation. That would require that I hate people. I don't. In fact, I bear people no ill will. I'm an emotional baby who'd never want anyone to suffer, I'd cry. The difference is that I'm not sold on the laughably overestimated illusion of our greatness.

In fact, I look at humanity and I don't see greatness. I see people behaving in tribal ways. There's greed and supremacy to be seen wherever one looks. We're systematically destroying our world because humans only relate to humans, so if an animal's habitat is crushed underfoot, what does it matter? I have mused, in the past, that if you could put a smiling human face and skin on a tree, without making it some kind of body horror, then people would care about trees being felled.

Humans are so, so self-obsessed. Our species has its head so far up its own arse it can't see anything else. It has its head so, so far up its own arse that it actively hates anything that isn't like it or doesn't worship it. There's a hierarchy to humanity, and that hierarchy always reads 'how similar to the ones in charge are you?'

For black people, it's that they weren't white enough so they had to endure slavery; For women, it's that they don't 'man up' enough, so they're met with institutionalised sexism. The thing is is tha tthere's supremacy in every facet of humanity. Every part of it. Everywhere.

A white person hates a black person for being black; A straight person hates a gay person for being gay; A gay person hates a trans person for being trans; A straight man hates a feminist for being feminist; A feminist hates a trans person for being trans; A trans person hates an otherkin for being otherkin; And so on, and so on, ad nauseum.

It's fucking ridiculous and terrible.

In order to achieve happiness you have to destroy someone else's life? I know trans people hate otherkin most of all, so it's they who're most invested in destroying our lives to benefit themselves. And that's how it goes, isn't it? It's all about supremacy and greed, look at for your own herd, and just fuck everyone else. They can go to hell. Right?

I don't like humanity. I don't buy the spiel we're selling. I'm really not impressed, humanity. I'm really, truly not impressed.

This is why if I were handed a box with a button on it that I knew where if I pressed it it would exterminate human life without causing any suffering whatsoever? My mind would be flooded, overloaded to breaking point with very sound, logical, well reasoned arguments as to why I should push it. There would be very, very few dissenting voices. One of the few questions would be whether it'd also include the rejects forced to endure human form as well, as they don't deserve it. Only actual humans possess enough hatred to deserve that.

Why would I sanction that? Humans are awful. Let's be honest, if they ever made it to space there'd be campaigns of genocide against any species that wasn't advanced enough to fight them off, and they'd be stupid enough to pick fights with those more powerful than them as well just because they don't look, act, and/or sound like they do.

Humanity is awful. I've known that since day one.

I was born into this world forced to feel guilt for my very existence, from day one. I wasn't the perfect child, I wasn't what they wanted, I wasn't 'them' enough for my parents. I was too deformed and ugly to fit into society. I was a 'monster' just because of how I was born and the hardships I'd endured. It's worse because some of the welts on my hide are from the hatreds I've known.

And I'm just not impressed. I don't see the vaunted kindness, I'm not seeing the open-mindedness, I don't very often witness the awareness. Now, don't get me wrong, I think that humans are very clever creatures. They're certainly architects and builders, they can imagine and create things and that's worthy of praise, to be sure. There are, however, factors which are much more important for a sapient species to be truly considered advanced.

And humanity doesn't yet possess them.

It's an astounding feat of narcissism that we believe that just because no one has bothered to reveal themselves to us, that we must therefore be alone in the Universe. Only a human could come up with an idea so solipsistic. It could just be that aliens aren't impressed with this world of self-obsessed narcissists. Just perhaps, maybe.

I mean, if I were an alien, I wouldn't bother. And I do feel like an outsider. I think humanity can be, for the most part, untenably terrible and monstrous.

So, consider the child who's imprinted on dogs, reviled by humanity for his disability. A story any truly disabled child can attest to. Some more than others. You grow through this sea of hatred, it's all you've known, humans never saw fit to welcome you as one of their own. So you're an outsider, you don't belong to the herd. You're othered.

Throughout my youth, I looked upon horror and 'monsters' with very different eyes. I knew monsters to be peach skinned, human shaped things. So if I saw a hairy beast with claws, I knew it had to be like me -- it was a creature that these awful things had hurt so terribly, and it was just trying to survive.

I felt a kinship with it.

Whenever I saw a dragon beset by a group of four of these peach-skinned creatures? I didn't see four 'heroes' who'd set out to lay low some fell beast. No, no no no. What reason would I have to believe that? It's not like there's any form of fantasy forensics to try to ascertain guilt, is there? No, it's nothing more than home invasion.

You have these four evil, greedy bandits who'd lie through their teeth to justify breaking into someone's house and stealing all their shit. I felt more and more for the dragon. Anything that humans would respond to with fear and hatred? I, in turn, would feel an increasingly strong bond with and connection to. As time marched on, that feeling of becoming more distant from any human identity had grew.

And here I am. Humans are monsters. They disgust me. I feel self-loathing over being stuck in a human body. Why? Isn't that obvious? All of my life other, 'normal' humans have made it clear that I'm not like them. I've been made to feel unwelcome and othered.

They've told me I'm not like them, rather vehemently. I've felt that I'm not like them. I don't identify as human. I identify as that which humanity hates. That's what I am.

I am the creature you made me.

If I am that which humans hate, I will call myself werewolf. I find the aesthetic attractive, both beautifully and in a physical sense. I'm sexually aroused by werewolves, not by humans. It's the way my mind is now wired. This is who I am. This IS who I am. I'm sorry that only stokes the fires of your hatred more, though considering that that's all I've ever known... You'll forgive me if I don't care much, eh?

The thought of being a werewolf and being with a werewolf provides me with comfort. I feel safe. They scare away the disgusting monsters called 'human.' Moreover, these undeniably wondrous creatures can undo the curse called 'human' and unlock the truth within. This, of course, humans call a curse. I call it freedom.

I don't know if werewolves actually exist, mind you. Speaking probablistically they likely don't. The narrative is there, though, and by any means I had I would choose to become like them over the evil homunculi who call themselves 'human.'

You see, I don't hate like a human. I don't hate feminists, gay people, trans people, or anyone. I don't have a hierarchy of that which is more similar to me or not. I don't want to be superior and actively avoid that entitlement in any way I can.

The end result of all this is that I feel genuinely detached from humanity. To them, I am a monster. To me, they are the monsters.

The difference? I've never beaten, tortured, broken, or scarred anyone. I wouldn't. I couldn't. Like I said, I'd cry. All I know from humans is that they're these bipedal creatures who're in an unending war of supremacy, they always want to strive to be so superior to one another, so much better, no matter whom they've crushed to get there.

I'll just be over here, being a werewolf, identifying as a werewolf, and not having any truck with that.

And here's the thing? I'm hated for embracing this, too! It's truly remarkable. I'm told that I'm a joke, a troll, that none of my feelings are relevant. I'm told that I'm a construct invented to torture trans people despite probably being older and thus having suffered longer than any of the trans people I was supposedly invented to torment.

This is the thing with humanity. You'll even weaponise myself and other otherkin to hurt your own. It's incredible. You're so fucked up. You're so completely fucked up.

And you wonder why aliens haven't taken notice of us.

It's because of all of the HATE.

Like I said, I'll just be over here, not hating. All your hatred does, really, is just convince me of how utterly correct I am to not identify with humanity in the first place. It serves to illustrate how correct I am about how you're fuelled by hatred first and foremost before anything else. And that I -- and any sane person -- would have every reason to not identify as human.

No one who's free of hate should identify as human.

And that's all otherkin is. It's being hated so much, by so many people, you come out the other side as something else entirely. Not something better, not something worse, just something that's different. Something other.

And that's why the world has otherkin. Because you're so narcissistically self-obsesed. Becasue you hate.

And as long as you hate, there'll be people who'll end up so detached from humanity they'll have no choice but to be otherkin. That's just how that works.

And detached as I am. I choose werewolf. It's a construct I identify with. A creature that doesn't hate, that's immeasurably compassionate and kind to their own, and is feared by humans. Speaking of? It always amused me so much that folks believed that otherkin werewolves picked werewolves because of the 'beauty and nobility of wolves' or whatever else. In my case, I picked them solely because I like dogs and you hate 'em, and there's kinship in that which is hated by you. Today, you hate them now more than ever due to the furry-/otherkin-connections they might have, which means my kinship with them is stronger with them than it's ever been.

And no, I don't hate you. I just wish you'd stop hating. Until you do? I'll just be over here in my non-human club for non-humans where we can be free of the hate. Because that's what we are, right? Non-human. You told us so. At length.

What else were we supposed to think? We're your most despised rejects. We were never a part of your glorious species to begin with. So we might as well be werewolves, dragons, or elves. And that... that really opens your mind to all of the possibilities. Once you're outside of the human bubble, you learn you can love anything. Anything. There's something special about that that you'll never understand.

I love werewolves. I'm a werewolf otherkin. I'd be a werewolf any day over a human. I'm aesthetically attracted to their feral beauty. I'm sexually attracted to these hairy were beasts with mottled skin, bulging veins, and giant claws and fangs. I'm emotionally attracted to them as protectors who'd keep me safe from hateful humans. They're great!

It's a laugh, really, because I guess werewolves sort of an expression of my disabilities. Of my autism, the shakes, my PTSD, my physical deformity and scarring. I guess it's just me coming to terms with how it's okay to be me, even if I'm despised for that. It allows me to be comfortable with myself and to find strength in that. That you'd hate me for that or you'd want to take that away for petty reasons? That you wouldn't want me or any other person to identify this way in order to find happiness, stability, and peace?

Well, that's kind of sad.

And honestly? The hatred you'd feel for my love of werewolves (aesthetically, emotionally, and especially sexually) just serves to make me stronger. It only serves to strengthen the bond I feel with non-human creatures. So... Bring it, I s'pose!

Being an otherkin is rad. So... Fuck your hatred, I'm a werewolf!

Let me leave you with one, closing thought: If I woke up tomorrow and I was a giant insect, I'd shrug it off. No worse off, right? Just another form of life. Besides, compound eyes are quite lovely, I think, and I'd be able to fly! Whereas most humans would likely commit suicide as an act of final, narcissistic defiance.

"Oh no, I'm not beautiful any more! Goodbye, cruel world!"

Humans. Sigh. I don't identify with you any more. Your self-obsessed narcissism leading to the exclusion of any and all that don't share a certain prerequisite verisimilitude with you has made you an insufferably insouciant, unempathetic, and belligerent species.

There's nothing to like. At least, not from the outside. From the inside it must seem lovely, where everyone who meets that prerequisite quota is looking out for one another. Still, mine is an outside perspective. Humanity's repugnant self-obsession has made it an ugly species.

Let's be honest, the only 'care' you have for those unlike you is a selfish expression of your desire to 'cure' them to make them more like you. That's not a kindness, that's a hatred.

Good to be otherkin.

Addendum

I guess this is why I feel so strongly about six-limbed dragons as well. I secondarily identify there but it's more, I think, that I'd want dragon friends. I think the world would be a more amazing place if giant shadows were cast from large wings on high, knowing that there are these giant, truly magnificent creatures watching out for you.

Except we're not allowed to have that, are we? To make a dragon four-limbed? It takes away their hands (which are on their forelegs) and their minds. They're now feral, slavering monsters fit for glorious humans to slaughter. We're not allowed to have them as our friends.

I don't know. It's like humans are so uncomfortable that we relate to non-human sapience that they want to take that away however they can. Dragons had been on this constant track of progression toward being the gentle protector that we know and love, you can see that with instances like Draco in Dragonheart.

Can't have that, though, can we?

If it's not a human it has to be a monster, a true evil. This narcissism where we're not allowed to have our non-human friends just because it makes self-obsessed people a little bit uncomfortable is unsettling to me and just drives home how unwelcome humanity makes the 'rejects' like myself feel.

So what happens to our six-limbed friends? They're amputated, we get to watch them writhe around on their bellies like dogs who've had their forelegs removed. I know people say it's for realism, that they look like bats, et cetera. I also believe we all know how that's completely untrue. I've worked at a bat sanctuary, I've seen bats walk and run.

If you don't believe me, look up 'bat walking' and 'bat running' on Google. I'll belabour this until I'm blue in the face becasue as someone who's lived with this bizarre prejudice for a long time, I know what it's really about. It's about people being generally uncomfortable with non-human sapience, as it might 'upstage' them and show them up by being kinder, more patient, and sweeter than they are.

You don't have to worry about that with amputated body horror dragons though, right? Yeah, you get to be comfortable now, at the expense of those of us who miss our dragon friends.

Is it any wonder I don't identify with humans, for the most part?

#otherkin #philosophy #rant #feelings

0 notes

thegeminisage · 8 years ago

Text

zeldablogging! i actually quit playing hours ago but i didn’t have time to post it until now

firstly my bro came over and let me use all his amiibos and i got epona and some SWEET gear, but it's like, a random chance to get one of the three piece fo each one, so he has to COME BACK so can get everything

i got one of link's iconic hats haha im Sad

also i went to the wasteland tower and i can see the divine beast from there!! i think with the flying island bird thing i've now seen them all

altho if that ship thing really is the beast and i can see if from that far away...holy Fuck. they are so Big

my brother wanted me to go north to the woods at the top of the map to get the master sword, but im just not Ready yet. i wanna see more plot. he also told me that there was no special quest for it which like :/ weak?? im disappointed tbh

the interactive map shows a stable along the road so i guess i will start there!

i'm a little intimidated by the big desert tbh

god everything here is so tall and vast...i'm pretty sure bits of this are from one of the cool parts of the trailer

omg there's a talus on this hill

dont feel like fighting it now tho lol

KASS IS HERE <3

omg four dudes lost in the gerudo region...now THIS sounds familiar

ahaha :')

actually, i think i'm gonna go ahead and head to gerudo town first before exploring everywhere...which is the opposite of what i SAID i wanted to do after death mountain but this desert is big and vast and it'll be easier to keep track of what i've done, and tbh i'm afraid of running into the divine beast while i explore LMAO

plus: i wanna see plot!

i like that horses follow the roads, i can kinda see the sights and scope it out a little before Deep Exploration

wait can i not

oh god can i not ride my horse out here....?

oh jesus

ohhh my god what a long walk.......haha i've become spoiled

oh well here we go

lol i put on the link hat and got like. overwhelmed, emotionall.y too much. so much. to see him in green rn. altho lowkey disappointed he hasn't been in green for most of the game thats just His Color

omg it gets Cold in the desert at night!!

i bet in the daytime it gets hot hahaha

ooh i got a gerudo shield and scimitar from this lizalfos! nice!

WOW ANOTHER GERUDO HI HELLO IM GAY

why......doesn't my map work rn

what the fuck??

i opened it and?? static??

please tell me it's the divine beast and not an area thing i can't LIVE without my map

wow the air got all green and windy here when i walked towards a shrine...dnw dnw

see this is why i worried about exploring but it's Right There if igured it'd be no trouble

thats what i get for thinkin

omg a SAND SEAL?? they are so weird lookin haha and it scared me for a sec moving thru the gloom like that. thought it was a monster

it strikes me with no minimap i can't fast travel and everything looks just the same out here...what if i get lost?

oh there's the shrine thank god

omg my map works inside the shrine ;w;

tbh i dont feel like doing it rn i'd fast travel out of this green shit if that didn't mean having to start the whole walk over

i guess i can just fast travel to the shrine itself at least now i know the direction i need to walk to get out

yep and here goes the temp climbing. jesus

luckily i prepped for this when i stop to cook i like to make a bit of everything and i knew i was coming somewhere hot, so

LMFAO out of sheer curiosity i took all my armor off and that worked too.

ohhh amn this no-map green-sand no-visibility thing is WIGGING ME OUT dude i pray it's a divine beast thing bc i can't explore like this AND i couldn't really see the whole beast bc of the sand. so. fingers crossed

please let me find the road please let me find the road please let me find the road

put all my armor back on bc i spotted an enemy and thats super weird even without special food the sun isn't killing me anymore...maybe it's a noontimeish thing? but no, it was sunrise before and 10am now.......mysterious. i don't like it. i do not like the desert. i Do Not like the desert.

I JUST HEARD THE BEAST ROAR

oh my god and there it is...what even IS that jesus christ

it's so big im scared and crying

and the lightning!!! it's so powerful!!!!

like, my brother said the dungeons were too easy but the FEEL of these things...they truly are fucking divine

oh thank fuck i see fire. help me please

MY MAP'S BACK YES

thank GOD

and i'm at gerudo town i think!! somehow

but i missed the oasis and i know there was a memory there painter dude told me ):

wait, no...this IS the oasis! yes!!!!!! i made it to the road in the perfect spot!!!!!!

wait they;re saying here "voe" aren't allowed in gerdo town...oh my god are they being serious rn

I HATE THE DESERT LMAO

but frankly i can't blame them. tbh if i had a society of all females i wouldn't let any men in either.

there's. so many pretty women in here. they're so tall. i'm so gay

omg there's a rito and a goron here!

oooh the highlands tower sandstorm apparently dies down for a few hours every day!! good to know x_x

god if it IS a regional thing im totally fucked.

oop the temp kicked up again once i left the oasis

WAIT i almost forgot the memory jesus christ!

ok ok

WHOAAA HOLY FCK

zelda was running from the yiga clan and link stepped in and saved her at the last second AND THE MAIN THEME PLAYED A LITTLE

altho i kinda hate this helpless damsel zelda stuff...i guess it's mostly par for the course, tho - very few games have had her able to fight and even the ones that did got her captured at the very end

there's a rock outcropping here and i can SEE the sandstorms, jesus

i hope they're less frequent after i free the beast

maybe the one near the shrine/tower broke up for a sec and that's why the temp kicked up? everyone says it does once a day...but my map didn't change lol so idk

lol got to tell a gerudo she was my dream girl

haha so they travel and leave to find husbands and have kids? she mentioned "training"... great potential for trans characters here but alas that's WAY beyond nintendo rn

i like that they speak another language, it makes the world feel bigger and more real (and they even teach you some!!)

omg you can RIDE the sand seals?!

i...need a shield...to sand seal SURF

that sounds. like the coolest thing ive ever heard in my whole life

apparently there's a guy who slips in every night that i could follow!! i wish i could just sneak in myself, tho

all right nothing doing so i loked it up and APPARENTLY YOU HAVE TO CROSSDRESS LOL i love it

like i've seen that outfit in guides and i thought it looked a bit nonfunctional

altho i hope this plotline doesn't make crossdressers the butt of a joke!!

aw you can tell the person on the rock "you're a man" but im gonna pretend she's trans and not be a jerk

AAAH I LOOK PRETTY

ok, i absolutely gotta dye these pink

AWWW LINK LOOKS BASHFUL WHEN TOLD HE IS A GOOD-LOOKIN GAL

MY SWEET SON

yes i am fast traveling this instant to dye these

i know this game is probably being gross about this but frankly i love the idea of agender link

and these are my favorite clothes i wanna wear them and ride my pink horse all the time

aaah and now i am pink!! tbh i'd love to sneak in now but i have a stream to get ready for ))):

maybe i will just look around really quick i still have a few minutes

im usually a little late starting anyways lol

ooh the music in the day here is rly cool!

OMG A LIL BABY GERUDO GIRL SHE'S SO CUTE im crying

LOL THERE'S A GORON HERE

why did they let him in! i thought there were no girl gorons

lmao even he doesn't know......omg

omg an OLD gerudo too finally!!!

gaaaah i wanna look around more but my time is up for tonight!!

#loz blogging #botw spoilers #personal

0 notes