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joaquinbumblebee24 · 5 years ago

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Starry, Starry Night Chapter 2

AN: I never been to NYC, but I did research. So any mistakes are mine. God, I enjoyed writing this chapter. No more fuff the next time. So let's get on with the chapter.

GH/JW

"Should I wear a tie?" House asked Cuddy while he was fretting over what to wear to his date. He was at Cuddy's house, while Wilson was at the apartment. House would pick Wilson up, and they would go to New York City.

"No," Cuddy said, looking at his outfit, which consisted of a leather jacket, and gray jeans. "Wear this red turtle neck instead." Cuddy handed House the article of clothing.

"You're right." Said House, looking at the red sweater. He grabbed it and put it on.

Cuddy looked at House, with pride, he'd never seen in his father's eyes, this made him sad. "I am very proud of you for trying a relationship." She said, hugging him. "Maybe it won't bomb this time."

"Thank you, Cuddy." He said without any sarcasm in his tone. He left Cuddy's house with a lightness that he had never felt before.

Wilson was at home calling Cuddy's place. "Hello," Cuddy answered, rolling her eyes.

"Did Greg told you where we're going tonight?" Wilson asked, getting agitated.

"No." She answered. "He told me it was a surprise."

"What should I wear to this thing?"

"Wilson, wear a leather jacket, he's wearing one." Said Cuddy, with a big eye roll.

"Okay, bye."

She sighed, she hoped that it goes well, for House, as well as Wilson. She wanted to see Gregory House happy. She just hoped that Wilson wouldn't be an idiot about this.

GH/JW

House was inside the 1965 Cherry Corvette waiting for Wilson to emerge from their apartment. He was taking Wilson on a date to the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. He knew that Wilson loved visiting art museums with his various exes. House also knew that Wilson hadn't seen Van Gogh's collection in his life.

Finally, Wilson emerged from the apartment looking good. He wore a leather jacket with a black t-shirt and tight jeans. His ass looked good.

House didn't get out, but he reached out with his long arm and opened Wilson's door. "Nice ass," House said while Wilson entered the Corvette.

Wilson glanced at House's hand."Thank you, Greg. By the way, where are we going?" Wilson noticed as House's hand tighten around the steering wheel. "House, What's up with you? Why so nervous?"

House sighed He stared straight ahead on to the road. "I hate taking people on dates, that's all. It shouldn't be, because it is with you, I just hope you love my surprise."

Wilson didn't want to push his luck and ruined the date. He remained silent throughout the drive. As they were driving, he watched where House would take him. They were approaching New York City, Manhattan area. "We are seeing something," House said while he drove through Brooklyn Bridge.

"Are you giving me clues." Wilson was annoyed at House now.

"Nope," House said popping the P.

House parked the corvette in an underground parking lot. He was intending to walk or in his case limp to his destination. Wilson, however, questioned him. "Can you walk?"

"Yup, it's right there," House told Wilson, pointing at the Museum of Modern Art.

Wilson was surprised. "What are we going to see." He said excitedly.

"Van Gogh," House watched as Wilson's surprised smile grew wide.

"Why? I mean I thought you hated art." Wilson said while he matched House's limping gate through 53rd street.

They were at the entrance of the museum when House spoke. "I was learning the guitar when the folk song Vincent was released in 1971. I read about Van Gogh's art at the time, and I felt a kindred spirit with him. I was a lonely queer kid, who's father would probably kill when he found out. I was reading the first edition of the DSM at this point, and when I read the part when they said homosexuality, I thought I had a mental illness… " his voice tightened a bit.

"I found solace in the knowledge that every person had its time. As you may know, Jimmy, he sold one piece in his lifetime, then became famous after his tragic death." He took a deep breath. "It's our time, Wilson."

Wilson smiled at the final words of that rant and took House's casted arm in his own and kiss it.

He could imagine why House felt a kindred spirit with the fallen artist. Like in Van Gogh's lifetime, wherein there were no medications for people who suffered from an array of mental illnesses. Growing up in the 1970s would have sucked, there were no TV shows and movies with LGBT characters. You felt lonely like you were the only gay person in the world.

They were nearing the painting House spoke again. "I first saw a replica of this painting in 1975, In London. While my father was station in Manchester. It was amazing, it was also the final relatively nice memory of my childhood. Because when we got back to the states…" His voice trilled off.

They ended up near the painting, it was beautiful, unreal, relevant. Wilson looked at his partner, the world is our oyster, House. He thought. The Starry Night was a painting that depicted Van Gogh's life in the asylum beautifully. It was a depressing sight.

Wilson like House felt alone growing up, as the middle child of Adam and Emily Wilson. He grew up knowing that he was loved, but he still felt the pressure to conform to the societal norms luckily for him, he was bisexual. In fact, he told his parents that he was dating House, their reaction was pure joy, as if finally.

After seeing some more paintings House was hungry. They left the museum. They walked close to the parking lot. "I have a reservation at this Japanese place near MSG, then we are going to see a Knicks game."

The food was great, he knew that House spent time in Japan. He had seen House talking in Japanese, but he hadn't known how House eat sushi and it was erotic.

After the meal, they went to the historic Maddison Square Garden to watch a game. The game was 90-82, the Knickerbockers won against the Charlotte Bobcats.

House check them into a fancy hotel, at the heart of the city. House loved how Wilson came undone in his arms as soon as they hit the bed. After they made love. he said. "I wished we did this sooner."

"Yes, I know," Wilson said kissing his hair.

House was stroking Wilson's hair. "God, I should have known before the infarction, for the leg. God, it's painful, I overdid it."

Wilson sighed and got up to massage House's leg. "Where is the Ativan, I prescribe for you."

"In the bag somewhere," House replied, and Wilson got up. "Where's the Vicodin?" Wilson asked searching the bag, He found the Ativan on the pocket of House's duffle.

"It's in the jeans pocket." House whimpered slightly. "God, It hurts."

"It's okay, House," Wilson said. He handed the pain meds to House, who took it gladly, with a glass of water."It's okay, Greg. I am with you."

House smiled but due to exhaustion, he fell asleep. "Thank you, Wilson."

"I love you, House," Wilson said as he was stroking House's hair. He slid down on the covers. "And thank you for the date. I enjoyed it so much."

End of Chapter 2

#house/wilson #Hilson #Fanfiction #gregory house #James Wilson #Lisa Cuddy #Chapter 2/12

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granvarones · 6 years ago

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Since last August, we have been working hard to make this Gran Varones Fellowship happen. When we launched Gran Varones on this date exactly five years ago, it has been our commitment to build power at the community level. It was this very commitment that inspired us to launch the Gran Varones Positive Digital Arts Fellowship. Gran Varones was awarded a grant (our very first!) from ViiV Healthcare to launch a year-long (March 2019 – January 2020) national fellowship to develop the leadership of a cohort of six HIV positive Latinx Gay, Queer, Trans and Bisexual Men ages 21-35. This cohort of creatives will be supported with resources to combat HIV stigma and promote family acceptance in Latinx communities through digital storytelling, community building and cultural organizing.

Through an online application process, we received responses from brilliant applicants from all over the country. Narrowing the list down to six people was almost impossible. In fact, we were originally budgeted to select five fellows but decided on six because, well, why not?

We selected six brilliant creatives from just as many cities. We prioritized creatives who are new to the digital organizing and/or storytelling space. And after sharing time and space with them during our first of two convenings a few weeks ago, we are excited about all of the magic that they will be creating as individuals and as a cohort.

In addition to creating content for GV, each fellow will organize a community-based event. This will expand our commitment of building power through storytelling by making it even more accessible. These six fellows are going to create a new earth! Here are the six Gran Varones Positive Digital Arts Fellowship:

Carlos Moreno (He/They) Los Angeles, CA

A Gemini in his 28th year of existence, Carlos is a proud Chicanx living his truth as an HIV Positive Queer person from Tucson, Arizona. A product of migration, this first generation being strives to make a helpful and lasting impact on the HIV/AIDS community, both globally and locally. He has stood alongside others in the fight against HIV/AIDS in prevention and as well as in care. Unscathed by stigma, He has navigated the last ten years of his life by reclaiming any animosity he's faced and turned it into a therapeutic artistic expressions. A natural introvert himself, Carlos has struck chords with folks using simple imaging and messaging, leaving faces shocked, surprised, amused, or not in agreement, but definitely began a conversation. Carlos wants nothing more than for other Poz folk to join in on this ARTivism movement, share their experiences and connect with others so that we don’t all feel alone, especially Queer and Trans people of Color. It has been a dream of his to see there be space for distributing such products at events where other LGBTQ/Hetero/ HIV/AIDS information is being accessed. Carlos believes that it is important that people living with or affected by HIV/AIDS have access to the same empowering messages the HIV Negative and prevention communities do, that they are equally represented with pride and equity. Without a real push for some financial assistance, these items may only be limited to the creator and not have the opportunity to help inspire other Poz communities to flourish.

José A. Romero (He/They) Durham, NC

is an abolitionist organizer, immigrant defense strategist, and Poz Poet living in Durham, NC. The first in their bio-family born in the “US”, José is the descendant of working-class immigrants from Morazán, El Salvador and Michoacán, Mexico. Born in Washington State and raised between there and Michoacán, José’s political awakening arose while witnessing kindred femmes undo misogyny and while learning English to confront the borders their family endures. José moved to Philadelphia to attend the University of Pennsylvania where they were active in movements to confront anti-blackness/homophobia. In Durham they use their research background and direct-action experience to honor past, present, and future radical ancestors. Inspired by apocalypse and alchemy, José’s abolitionist organizing for black/brown flourishing includes work with Durham Beyond Policing, Durham’s Participatory Budgeting Steering Committee, and various immigrant/queer/trans defenders. They have worked on anti-deportation/sanctuary cases across NC and are a proud member of Southerner’s on New Ground working to end money bail, abolish ICE, and pleasurably undo anti-blackness in Latinx communities. José is currently Directing the first Latinx Southern Regional Health conference for the National Latino Commission on AIDS. They’re working on two collections of poetry titled ICEBREAKERSand POZITIVE. They are the host of an open mic series and queer friendship/dating party collectively called MELT. They make their money working at a queer punk bar, as an interpreter, and as a consultant. You can find/book them at @PupusaPapi_27 on Instagram and @RomeroFlux on Twitter. José dreams of curating an Arabic/Mandarin/Spanish exhibit/mixtape as well as opening and inviting y’all to a mobile Freedom School dedicated to astrobiology, pupusas, synesthesia, and uprising.

J. Aces Lira (He/Him/His) Chicago, IL

Aces Lira is an MSW/MA graduate student in Women Studies and Gender Studies at Loyola University Chicago. As a Research Assistant, he is based in the US Regional Network within the International Partnership for Queer Youth Resilience (INQYR) and is getting a foot in the door on all things research-related. Outside of the books, Aces orchestrates portraits along with art through different mediums and also lives for National Park excursions.

Marci Garcia (He/Him/His) Brownsville, TX

Sometimes life feels just like one of those theatrical plays or big screen movies; a bunch of dialogue, drama, adventure, tragedy and tears, and a lot of laughter and happy moments as well, all combined. My movie opens in Mexico, born and raised until the age of 10. I was a lucky boy that grew up in a very loving family; abuelos, tios, primos and my beautiful parents and brother always by my side. Still, I was a lonely kid. A kid that knew he was different and had a very a hard time fitting in, all the way through high school and college years. Never an obstacle to aspire to go out in the world and follow my dreams though. Today, I feel I am blessed and thankful to life for being different. I didn’t choose to be who I am, I just got lucky. Throughout my professional career I have wanted to find the place where I know I am not only getting a paycheck but also making a positive difference somehow. Again, through life’s unique way of arranging things I believe I have found that. I am currently part of an extraordinary non-profit organization whose goal is to provide sexual education, HIV prevention and wellness services to the community of South Texas. Being here truly inspires me to become more involved, gain knowledge and to help out combat the HIV stigma that is still out there. I know because I see it, I hear it, I live it. I believe I am working for this agency for a reason. I believe I am ready to accept and say who I am, what I am and what I aspire to become.

Dimetri O’Brien (He/Him/His) Washington, DC

Strategic, multidisciplinary designer & social media coordinator with a spirit for service & innovation born in Port of Spain Trinidad with roots in Jackson, MS . Dimetri has worked with a multitude of clients on projects ranging from graphic design to consultation & management and although his skill set is vast, his greatest expertise revolves in the worlds of programming for YMSM ages 18-29, social media, brand identity design, content creation and print collateral. Dimetri currently serves as a communications assistant in Washington, DC managing communications and branding for a national non-profit agency. His graphic design portfolio can be viewed at "dimmydoesit.com"

Raúl Xavier Ramos (He/Him/His/They/Them/Theirs) Brooklyn, NY

Raúl is a 26-year-old Boriqueer social justice organizer based out of Brooklyn, New York. Using graphic design and performance art as forms of accessible political education , Raúl is dedicated to the liberation of all queer and Gender Non-conforming people of color, persons with disabilities, and those that experience realities in ways the culture would call "mentally ill." Healing justice is at the center of Raúl's work, having become Poz at the turning point of his adult life. He is unapologetic in how he loves and in the ways he fights for justice.

#thegranvarones #granvarones #queer #non-binary #gay #latinx #afrolatinx #hiv #poz #aids #storytelling #creatives #lgbtq #qtpoc #community #end stigma

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dazzling-ji · 6 years ago

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aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

probably halo? still riding off the performance high tbh

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

can’t think of anything that i would want to know immediately that i couldn’t just wait for confirmation in prayer about...

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

so far? taking the steps necessary to actually pursue my dreams

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

kbbq with friends

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

probably tell my parents how i feel about them, same to my friends

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

not really. i have things i’d like to do, tho

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

as in a human being? um, she has obscenely small hands. her face is like shiny and red perpetually. she is tiny. she gets really excited over the smallest things, i.e. her cats or the sight of a corgi. lowkey highkey hates her hair unless it’s short. bane of my existence.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

bruh i wish. literally still trying to console younger me with each day.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

lowkey cried in front of my therapist as i told him i don’t cry in front of people. idk if he noticed or not (IT’S CUZ HE KEPT STARING AT ME WITH THOSE BIG SAD EMPATHETIC BLUE EYES. I DON’T NEED EMPATHY!!!) but the tears were threatening and i was threatening the tears.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

bruh, had to describe a human for the last one but this time i won’t. my best friend nam shin iii. because i love him and he’s great. wish he were real so i could teach him english and he could teach me korean and i could help him romance his girlfriend.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

i did when i was first meeting my therapist lol. i don’t trust people enough to do stuff like that.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

probably ye olde tiny handed one. she’s the only one who would try to stay up that late with me. doesn’t mean i don’t have to deal with her sleep delirium.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

it’d either be to myself or my mom. something along the lines of letting them know their worth.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

they aight. blue eyes are really scary 90% of the time. brown eyes make more sense to me.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“different doesn’t mean wrong” said by one of my late faves, who i honestly felt was a kindred spirit 99.999% best friend match to me. not gonna get into why the quote is so deep to me, all i’ll say is it allowed me to breathe.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

indigko

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

pay off debts, travel, save, give to charities/church, save some more, maybe make a trust fund?

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

with God, yeah. by myself? depends. i can be kind of hypocritical and times.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

guess i know what to tag this ask meme now

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

punk for sure.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

super cool. was thinking of getting either a septum or normal nose ring. wish tattoos made a bit more sense on dark skin, but either way they’re super painful so maybe i lucked out.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i don’t. don’t wanna ruin my skin and i like the natural look over a beat face. i like people looking realistic if that makes sense?

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

so many people to talk about, but my ex-fave prince helped me realize i was ace.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

i wouldn’t. at least not rn, don’t have anything revolutionary to tell em. maybe something like “Please remember we’re dealing with human beings” or along those lines, because I’m tired of reading about racists and human rights violations who real life be forgetting that aside from differences in race/gender/sexuality/etc/etc we are all human and worthy of love.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

stromae @ msg - super fun! wish the people behind me didn’t try to waste my time and sit at a dance music concert.

nai palm @ brooklyn (i forget the venue) - also super great. it was great to actually see her irl, and allowed me to realize i can actually socialize without too much problem.

garth brooks @ mercedes benz - yikes ppl in the south RLY like their country music huh?

kimbra @ brooklyn (also forget the venue) - LIVE MUSIC CAN BE SO EXPERIMENTAL AND FUN. kind of reminded me of what i’d heard seeing prince irl was like.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

NYU - You have no outstanding balances. We have a $1 mil scholarship that will be applied to your account as of today. We love you. In fact, we’re gonna wipe away all your student loan debt and ensure no one in your family has to worry about paying for anything ever again in their lives.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

my desk always gets cluttered with papers and stuff. but i really do prefer working at a desk rather than a bed.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

stall as long as possible until i REALLY need to go to sleep. grumble as i lazily brush my teeth and rinse my retainer. lie in bed and watch youtube for anywhere between 30 min to 3 hrs before actually turning off.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

call me crazy, but i want my parents to know about me and *gasp* like what they realize. like lemme tell em i’m ace and have them not freak out, idk.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

blue or purple. but probably a wig or something impermanent.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

THE FAB FIVE. WHY AM I SO DUMB. we’d go makeover their next person on queer eye OR even better we’d just hang out

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1. the aforementioned letter from nyu because i deserve it, ok?

2. a life i don’t feel like i have to run away from because i hate living like this but feel powerless to change it.

3. a cool best friend i could go cool places with, because i wanna go cool places

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i cosplay’d as Taemin during the Ace era. It was cool because it basically was my style, so I felt super confident all day looking my best.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I do neither. But the craziest thing I did half-asleep was convince myself I could still talk to the aforementioned tiny handed weirdo and answer her questions though my head was firmly planted on my pillow and i was neatly tucked under my sheets. like i really thought homegirl could read my thoughts and find the answers she needed to her questions.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

like donald trump

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

maybe one person - i’d see myself the way God sees me so I wouldn’t be so powerless against my insecurities and the fake people in the world all the time.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

idk? i’m ace and aro and very aesthetically drawn, so i really don’t know if i ever have.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i prefer myself with longer hair tbh.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

hot chocolate if i wanna blend in. otherwise a strawberry acai refresher. i trust any of my friends because it’s really not that deep.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

gaining self-confidence so i can step more firmly into my calling.

fin.

#blurb ideas #ask meme

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deeptimesjournal · 4 years ago

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Surrender to Wild Entropy

Beloved Descendant, Mandala 2160 Surya Brahmana Arhaant III “flow like a forest of kelp through cycles of time with faith in your ancestor’s bones roar more; unleash your full force!” ﹣ Arunima I, of the Storm. Change is a force / kills false impressions / dances tandav on graves. Invites us folly to surrender to the wild indeterminacy of her powers. When you’ve received a colonialized education, you’re used to finding comfort in knowing enough. If our world were to flood, they would have us think that to survive means to be prepared enough, to possess enough, have enough / control over these ecosystems of death. Let us take flight from this. Let us ask instead, how will change possess us?

* * I. Journey: to grieve with courage. I was living by the waters of Pacific Island Aotearoa. Certainly secure that we were on solid ground. The security of material and economic privilege is so strange / you become a frog comfortable in increasingly warm water / Did you know that powerlessness is taught and learned? When womxn bodies sense a threat, we can freeze dead in our tracks: we are nervous systems. This is not a system failure: preventing the leaking of energy / this is how we persist. How have we arrived? You and I are millennia old. 202 years ago, the white man took on the burden of civilizing our families, our elders, our babies. Now, our survival has come to depend upon systems of learning created for earning, instead of learning to learn. We’ve been told that if we cannot / stop “producing,” we will perish. So we have become the best race at designing new technologies, efficiently utilizing our minds to labor for capital and accumulation. But Beloved, our liberation, foreign to these foreigners, lives beyond the patri-colonial designs of modernity. Our Poorvaj have learned by // travelling // wailing. When colonial certainties collapse, the ruins of this structure expose the rotting, necessary. Modern citizens put a lot of faith in the four walls of concrete buildings. Our territories will protect us from the danger of / that which is / stranger. This is a false and comforting impression. * * A few minutes after I say “they wouldn’t risk sending us home,” our leaders announce that we have four days to leave the island country. While Aotearoa is one of the safest places in the world right now (and to come, as we shall see) College authorities do not know how this crisis will unfold. Borders are rapidly closing now. We used to have “countries” back then and “going home” from abroad meant usually crossing borders. Everyone else in my group called “the United States” / the name colonists gave Turtle Island / home. Lesson I: Corona has little trouble flowing through bodies. Our group is atop a blue ice glacier when our program gets shut down. The rush of our departure from Aoraki Glacier slows me down: this inertia will soon haunt me, too. A few hours.. or days.. pass as if a strange dream. A few of the Americans in our group have prepared to leave as soon as we get word. Of course, they are nothing if not efficient. Whereas, swimming in ambivalence and strong attachments, I am currently unaware of how fierce high tides are. After a 10 hour bus-ride to the nearest airport, 6 hours on the airport floor, and 2 hours in a propeller plane journeying to the capital, we arrive in some hostel. Sharing bunk beds / I am once again in inanimacy and strangely unpleasurable intimacy with these strange white cyborgs and their deadening / claims to occupation of space. * * II. Entropy: What lies beyond conquest Where do we go from here? The Government of India has barred all passenger planes. Chaotic change is here and I have no safehouse to retreat to. Aotearoa is fast approaching national lockdown. I call the embassy and a disembodied voice indifferently says, “ask your university to arrange accommodation until further notice. We have no information from the government at this time.” They managed to say, “we couldn’t care enough to get you home.” without uttering one word. Keep working. Our International Scholars office buys me a 36-hour flight departing.. tomorrow. I look up the airline to confirm flight details. As of yesterday, the airline is bankrupt. This flight was to refuel in Australia; the country is not allowing any travellers to leave or transit through its gates. Maa and I decide to try an Air India ticket. I should’ve booked these quicker. There’s one flight going to Mumbai! And just as I try to click buy, she’s gone. Faster than I am.**Chaos is holding my hand now. Inviting me to cultivate a relationship with change and her ruthless grace. Aims for my belly button / rams her horns into gut / piercing pain / I’ll wait / I want to go home and home is family.. South Asia / A pool of my blood is collecting. Still, beside myself / managing this unfolding / I’ll prepare to wait it out until they allow flights to run? Yes.. what else could I..? / Oh god.. My insides are cracking open. It hurts to keep fighting for control.** We remain very ill equipped for the reality of change.Focus. try to / see clearly. This crisis is as much about a crisis as it is about continuing to dwell in colonial imaginations of crises. It is time to exorcise this all-consuming exercise for control.Beware. Be less certain that you will always have the walls of your home to protect and serve. Seas of people among us who had homes yesterday are turned into refugees today, held by strange lines / limits borne of men’s imaginaries / What shields from the indeterminacy of chaos? What you deem / hoarded / yours, may become a burden, you stand to lose when change comes.Security will mean bodies in / us / in / voluntary cages. To control is to possess security only until wild times rage. When walls built for protection turn to asphyxiate us, revolts will come. “the natural order is disorder.”﹣ Zaheer, Book Three: Change Episode 10. Long Live the Queen. The Legend of Korra.Change takes off. Her pauses do not allow time for the kind of painstakingly deliberated replies, which it is our colonial gift to provide, in the interest of stability / “in control” / pretenses of remaining unaffected, unchanged by her departure. How will we stay alive? The floodgates open.

III. Surrender: care flow tending

My entire being shakes. Finally. Let go. Relief arrives when you stop trying / struggling to float. I invite hands to hold me as grief flows. I am honest about the uncertainty of my situation with conspirators / a comforting outpouring of messages / con-spirare, to breathe together with. Multiple offers to stay in houses. A kindred settler spirit says, “do not worry, dear. If you choose to return to Turtle Island, you will be cared for.” We are all in the business of caring, tending to. So what if this body becomes the first terrain to call my home? There is security in their, too, in the sense that dimming, darkness, forces of death are supreme / they render bare all uncertainty. The Black officer at LAX’s Immigration, Border Patrol and Customs entrypoint has a beautiful smile. I tell him so. He blushes, and we are both pools. Soon after I arrive, I begin training. In the arts of undoing / preparing to receive death / the chaos that has only just begun. There is no planet-saving, no more civilizing conquests here. My queer water-body is an ancestral reverend / learning to harness the limitless imaginaries that our poorvaj’s prayers breathed into us. Learning melanin-richness, she holds / this infinite pluriverse / matters of love / dying matters / with grace and agility. As changes reap a late spring harvest of death, we dance wild with grief. We must. Care for those patriarchal, colonial, capital’s designs do not consider: all beings, more or less.we survive, through intimacy with force: chaos, we thrive in. with care: we prepare for chaos.Our bodies transform. We are sacred forms. our desires are ascetic; we exorcise domination and relinquish his narratives of control. We are sacred seeds.And we take root among the stars, Beloved. * * Arunima Singh Jamwal (Pronouns: A and all, fluidly, 21 yo) In Sanskrit, Arunima means first ray of sunlight and red glow of dawn. Arunima considers their creative path a gift from Creator and their Scythian ~ Suryavanshi ~ Sikh ancestors. As an animist and affective anthropologist, Arunima writes both to visibilize unseen presents and weave liberating visions for Life. Arunima’s purpose is to bring healing and balance to cultures and communities suffering from colonial-capitalism, intergenerational traumas, and cycles of social violence.Presently a settler-immigrant on the Cowlitz’s lands in Portland Oregon, Arunima loves to listen to plants and podcasts. A’s favorite spiral would have to be the Māori koru that represents our return to the point of origin and a state of calm harmony amidst chaos and change. Besides coordinating projects for Lewis & Clark’s Sustainability Council, she leads on-demand, intimate circles to center the ethic of healing justice in your lives, and creates community through their Instagram account, The Gurh Life.

@ Arunima Singh Jamwal (Pronouns: A and all, fluidly, 21 yo) In Sanskrit, Arunima means first ray of sunlight and red glow of dawn. Arunima considers their creative path a gift from Creator and their Scythian ~ Suryavanshi ~ Sikh ancestors. As an animist and affective anthropologist, Arunima writes both to visibilize unseen presents and weave liberating visions for Life. Arunima’s purpose is to bring healing and balance to cultures and communities suffering from colonial-capitalism, intergenerational traumas, and cycles of social violence.Presently a settler-immigrant on the Cowlitz’s lands in Portland Oregon, Arunima loves to listen to plants and podcasts. A’s favorite spiral would have to be the Māori koru that represents our return to the point of origin and a state of calm harmony amidst chaos and change. Besides coordinating projects for Lewis & Clark’s Sustainability Council, she leads on-demand, intimate circles to center the ethic of healing justice in your lives, and creates community through their Instagram account, The Gurh Life.

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paultoner · 5 years ago

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Take a Bite of Niall Candy

From dancing onstage with Charli XCX, to working almost every party you wish you were on the guestlist for, meet the London based drag queen about to push the throttle on their career.

Glitz. Glam. Galore. These are the type of words which spring to mind when you’re about to meet up with one of London’s most exciting drag queens. But it’s early Sunday evening and I find myself at a desolate pub tucked behind Granary Square in Kings Cross. The kind of place firmly left behind as London’s nightlife suffocates in gentrification. I’m surrounded by kids aimlessly trying to entertain themselves whilst their dads use the penultimate hours of the weekend to have a well-deserved catch up with good ol’ Stella Artois.

Niall Candy’s look today is rather tame, but within our unfortunately bleak surroundings, he’s as subdued as a jock-strap plastered in Swarovski crystals. His milky complexion compliments the pale pink kawaii-printed shirt he’s wrapped himself in, his eyebrows half shaven, his dark curls concealed by a beret held put by three rather large bedazzled clips. “At the moment everything has to be pink” he confesses, “the hair has to be pink, the eye makeup has to be pink. I don’t know why but if I put on anything else I don’t really want to wear it and I don’t really want to go out.” He politely turns down my offer to buy him a drink, he’s not the first boy to do so. Thankfully this time it wasn’t due to my piss-poor chat up lines, but because of a heavy night before, hosting a party at the Ned Hotel in Bank, “I basically got payed to stand around and look pretty all night, it was great.”

Essentially Niall Candy is the Clark Kent of drag (as if Superman could get any camper?) By day he’s a final year fashion journalism student at Central Saint Martins, where he’s about to embark on his final major project, “it’s a magazine basically like the Country Life, but full of drag queens.” By night, he’s one of the most innovative faces within London’s queer nightlife sphere. “I learnt a lot of my drag make-up style from my friends in Paris. The House of Morue. I lived out there for 6 and a half months” he tells me, “that’s where my boyfriend lives. And he does drag. So I kind of had my own style, then I was very inspired by their style which is very severe. Very Mugler woman. Then I took part of their style, part of what I was already doing and I think it works.”

Candy’s look has evolved from stepping out a Harajuku day dream with gentler, dainty male-drag looks, like a school boy after a growth spurt, to larger-than-life anime eyes reminiscent of a Lady Gaga, Hello Kitty inspired, shoot back in 2010. To now, a mutant woman, subverting the clichés of feminine beauty. Endearing, with a dash of sexual confusion. Carrying the elegance of a forgotten starlet spat straight out the mouth of Andy Warhol’s Factory.

Long before we felt the true effects of the Ru-pocalypse, when drag was catapulted straight into the mainstream all thanks to a little show called RuPaul’s Drag Race, Candy was already doing drag for a hot minute. Clad in pleather skirts, New Look wedged heals and a fringed wigs straight out of the bag, a fake ID was his gateway to amercing himself in the serotonin-washed bliss of the capital’s queer nightlife spaces, from Dollar Baby in London Fields and Hoxton’s East Bloc, all at the tender age of sixteen.

Growing up in Watford, he was the only out-gay pupil in a school of 2,400 students. He needed an escape from heteronormative lifestyle of mundane village reality. So he downloaded Twitter and got in contact with Smiley Vyrus, a new kid to the London drag scene at the time, who he began spending most weekends with. “I would not go to school and not say anything to anyone, get my friends to sign me in” he admits, slightly squeamish at his once irrational behaviour, “ I would just get the train straight into London and stay at someone’s house and go out for the weekend.”

Although, his now signature mug hasn’t always had a mesmeric hold, confessing many of the queens he has recently affiliated himself with didn’t recall meeting him in his premature days of drag. Partially due to his naive skill with the paintbrush, “it was terrible, like I had that brow, that Latina bam bam” gesturing at a brow arched over half of his forehead’s surface area. But for the most part, because of a four year hiatus Candy took away from the scene.

A drastic revaluation to his life choices, Niall decided to swap spending his time dating 24 year olds from North London for the books. He had a lot of catching up to do. For all those days in his first year of sixth form spent with a lipstick or a glass of champers in his hand as opposed to a pen, dedicating all his free time toward his studies, even missing close friends’ eighteenth birthday parties in preparation for his A-Level exams.

Speaking of eighteenth birthdays, it was only shortly after his when Niall’s family decided to emigrate to Canada, “I really didn’t want to do drag when I first got out there because I needed to like find a friend” he says, before breaking into an embarrassed giggle. Thankfully, he only spent a year across the Atlantic before returning back to London in time to enrol for Central Saint Martins, and reintroduce himself to all the pretty thrills of his drag closet.

Two years into validating drag as a viable career path, it’s only been within the last few months that the cheques have begun to write themselves, “those queens who think RuPaul has made [drag] a very acceptable thing to do, they’re the ones who think they’re gonna become instantly famous and make all that money straight away. I can tell you from experience, I’ve been doing drag consistently full time for 2 years, maybe 3 years? I don’t know it all rolls into one, enough drunken nights it’s just like a blur. I’ve only in the last 6 months started to make money. Like enough that I can actually survive.”

And who better to continue your drag journey with than your boyfriend? Although Candy isn’t quick to shrug off accusations of jealousy, “we both decided to do drag stuff at the exact same time, and now sometimes it’s a jealous motivation” he admits, “If you’re gonna look good. then I’m gonna look good as well. It pushes us both to work a lot harder, its two brains instead of one, I never have a look that I don’t run past him first.” He speaks of Timothy through a particular tenderness, a genuine admiration. Throughout our discussion this evening, I’m arrested by Niall’s sincerity. He gives me hope that once you get through a drag queen’s tough outer shell, they’re surprisingly sweet on the inside.

“He’s quite genuine in a city full of fakes, I’ve always been struck by his kindness”, says Bailey Slater, a fashion journalist who first met Niall at age fourteen, waiting in line for a Charli XCX gig, “he’s always been a great person to get advice from, a real sweet soul.”

Niall speculates a supportive family network is at the route of his kindred spirit. Raised on a random stew of Cher, Gwen Stefani and Dolly Parton “In our house Dolly is held to a level of godliness”, his brother, eleven years senior of Niall, played a key role in paving his queer influences. “My brother made me watch Party Monster when I was a child child, and my parents lost their shit” he recalls, “he is very pro-gay, very pro-LGBT. The way he said it to me, as soon as he realised I was going to be gay, which it was no secret, he tried to educate himself as much as he could.” His parents are equally as supportive, as he jokes about a birthday post his mum wrote for him on Facebook were she only posted pictures of him in drag.

His passion for drag is potent. From throwing a sash around his head pretending to be Cilla Black as a child, to today, telling me plans of heading to America to escape the crippling restrains of being a queen in London, it’s unequivocal that he’s destined to make it. He has that dreamboat charm, with a twinge of awkwardness, the primal ideal of creative integrity, with common decency.

We walk to Euston station together, casually talking dreams of owning breast plates and plastic surgery wish-lists, I’m halted in query, “how do you plan to manage your double life? Balancing a full time drag career with hopes of also making it into the fashion industry. ” He ponders, “I honestly don’t know, but in the least cocky way possible, I want this so much that I will get it. I deserve everything.”

#unpublished

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sashaisrarelyhere · 8 years ago

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My review of A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas Read May 2nd - May 7th My rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you. I can't believe it's over. This series and characters mean so much to me and even though we are getting the spin-off novels, Feyre and Rhysand story is over. I'm going to rate the book 4 stars for now. It has flaws, but for emotional impact this novel had on me, how truly wonderful it was, it deserves 4 stars. !Fair warning: this review will contain spoilers and lots of critisism on the book.! We are allowed to critisize the things we love, just if you weren't sure. The plot and the narration The book is divided into three parts: Princess of Charrion, Cursebreaker and High Lady. I think the first part was the most captivating. The way Feyre ruined the Spring Court from inside was a sight to behold. When she's back to Velaris though. Naturally, I squealed when Feyre and Rhys reunited, when the whole squad was back together. But I found the following chapters less engaging. There is so much story to be told and we got to see it only from Feyre pov. Meetings with other High Lords were as much fun as I anticipated. It was so great to see other courts and other folks. Day Court, Summer Court and Winer Courts are my favorites. The Autumn Court can and should rot in hell. The final battle was both predictable and emotional. Mind you, I didn't guess all the plot twists, but the major points were quite obvious. The scenes that recked me and made me bawl my eyes out are 1) Amren deceipt and sacrifice; 2) Elain and Nesta slaughtering the King; 3) Rhys' death and resurraction. My main problem with the book is that the book doesn't feel like the finale. Feyre's story is finished, but there are so many loose ends. Sarah J. Maas is prepared to cover them all in upcoming spin-off books featuring other protagonists, I'm sure of it. Because of that, the book has a tone of unfinishness and it's a bummer. Also I'm quite disatisfied with the fact that Rhys pov happens only twice in the book. From what I understood, the author mentioned dual pov in the third book and I can hardly consider 2 small chapters in 700 page book to be a "dual pov novel". Such a shame. In ACoTar and ACoMaF having only Feyre's 1st person pov works, but in ACoWaR we are confined in her pov. I wanted to know Rhys or Lucien or Nesta's povs. In terms of big picture, Sarah J Maas has falied to reach the awesomeness of Queen of Shadows and even Empire of Storms politics and grabs scheme. I heard that many people were annoyed with the abundance of sex scene. Um, okay, but he book has literally like three excplicit scenes, which is basically nothing. They were well-written too, in my opinion. (I'm a huge fan of New Adult novels, peraps that's why I was totally on board of everything sex and explicit) Briefly, I was engaged by the story but not blowen away. The characters I love Feyre and I'm so proud of her. She has truly great arc. ACoWaR gives us the glimpse of what a good High Lady she will become. Her chemistry with Rhys is so very strong. Rhys is probably my favorite male character. He's kind, brave, vulnerable,snarky etc etc. I do think that his tendancy to pull Aelin is annoying (try to do things by himself and don't share your plans with your friends, fyi). But he's so good and Feyre and Rhys together are definitely one of my favorite couples of all time. I am sad that we didn't get to see more of Court of Dreams. I wanted the book to have more of Cassian. Nesta, Az, Elain, Mor and Amren and their interactions with each other/ Probably we didn't get it all because 1) the book would've been 900 pages long and 2) we need some unfinishness for sequels. Apart from the King, the rest of the characters were delightfully morally ambigious and gray. Jurian surprised me. I was bedrudgenly surprised by Tamlin. I enjoyed meeting High Lords and their mates/lovers. It's great to see the story and the setting expand and for Feyre and us to meet all these interesitng folks. Amren! I didn't see her and Varian coming as lovers. One of the "oh my god what?!" moments. I'm glad Feyre has patched up her relationship with sisters. All three of them has work to do but they are on the right path. We might get Az/Elain as a couple and I object. I'd love for them to remain friends. They have a strong connection and they clearly are kindred spirits, but let us have male/female friendship. Obviously, the book provides us with the examples of this friendship, but I have very strong feelings about Az/Elain. The diversity or lack thereof Sarah J Maas is infamous for her lack of diversity. We writes wonderful complex characters but all of them mysteriously end up being white cis and straight. In a series with over 1500 pages long, it is a problem. Many people pointed out the lack of people of color. Prythian has one court (Summer Court) with dark skin faes. And that's basically it. In passing we mention dark skins humans who were later on killed and Miryam, the half-fae lady, has dark skin, too. Important moment, the author describes her skin as "dark honey". Let's bury the food comparisons when we talk about poc complexion. Thank you. Again, as a white girl, it's not exactly my place to say. I'm just speaking from my heart and common freaking sense. Note, I'm a white Russian girl and I have a thing to say to Sarah J. Maas about using a name from Russian folklore for no reason whatsoever. Some old deathgod from legends is called Koschei. He literally was mentioned once. The name that's familar to me from childhood and has nothing to do with the story. It was so out of place, I was buffled. Should I cry cultural appropriation because of one name& The total heteronormativity of these books has been adressed before. In ACoWaR the author adds queer characters and we met the diversity done wrong situation. Or partially wrong. As a bisexual, I was delighted to see myself represented in sapphic fae ladies, who are also heroes, in polyam bi High Lord, who's smart and cunning. We have two establsihed queer couples of secondary characters, one is f/f and they are mostly offscreen and m/m couple that is present, again as secondary characters. We don't get to see a lot of them. However, I am very concerned with the fact that Thesan male lover doesn't even have a name! He is always refered as "captain", "mate", "lover". It looks like the author couldn't even be bothered with giving her third and the last queer man a name. One fae from the sapphic couples has deformed wings and she's a symbol of fighting obstacle and overcoming herself. I don't know why exactly it makes me feel uncomfortable. maybe because the only character with deformed wings is queer Nephelle? High Lord of Day Court prefers lovers of any gender. I'm totally on board with it. I think he's okay, if we ignore that he let the woman he loves be taken by abusive asshole for centuries. Okay, he's not okay exactly. And finally, Morrigan. I have conflicting opinions about her characterisation and her queerness revealed, but. I am absolutely posivite that if I slept with him, even once, just to try, to make sure... is Nope. Please, do not write these lines about lesbians. No matter the context the character lives in, we as reader don't need it. I can't imagine the impact that line might have on young lesbians who are still figuring themselves. What if they feel pressured to "just try". We live already in heteronoramitve society, we don't need the added pressure for the authors. And the second thing, Mor's peference in women was delivered as a plot twist. Which isn't a decent thing to do. Sexualty =/= plot twist. However, I'm not sure how I feel about her sleeping with other men as a coverup for centuries. This beautiful brave independent woman was terrfyied to even tell her closest friends??? I don't know if we crossed the line to "tragic gays domain" or if her characterisation may be explained by the abusive society she grew up in. As a result, for 500 years she hasn't told Az straignt that she will never be interested in him. Sarah J Maas announced that she's writing 3 more novels and couple of novellas. I sure hope that Morrigan will get a full novel with HEA for her and some lovely girlfriend. I don't even want to think about other scenario. Naturally, Feyre didn't have any problems with Mor being gay when she told her, because Feyre isn't a shitty freaking person, so it's not a surprise. But again, it felt like a straight person gave their blessing on queerness. I don't know. The whole scene makes me feel conflicting. I want to be happy because we have a lesbian in Court of Dream, but how it happened isn't ideal, in my opinion. EDIT: It came to my attention that some people view Mor as homoromantic bisexual. While I personally think she's a lesbian, the only confirmation of her sexuality we get is that she prefers females, but she had sex with males over the years without enjoying it much. I am open to talk about it, all of it, because I'd love to hear your thoughts and if you think I'm wrong, I'd love to hear it, too. All in all, the author tried to add diverse characters to her story and she partially sucseeded. This series is so very dear to me. I did my best at being objective about it's flaws and drawbacks, I still love these books and A Court of Wings and Ruin is rather satisfying ending for Feyre and Rhys' story. For Feyre's arc.

#acowar #acowar spoilers #book review #acowar review #sarah j maas #bookblr #booklr

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winstonhcomedy · 6 years ago

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“Dope A-F” - 5/15-5/26 - “Saving The Environment, A Raffle, Woman Of The Year, Fire In Pittsburgh, Canon and Draw, The After Show, Punk Rock and The Winstmas Games, and Annapolis”

Boom another week down and another round of shows to write about. Don’t you wish you comedy was hot like me! OOOOOOO WEEEE LAYDEES! It is time to get down to the nitty gritty of it and talk about some hot ass shows!

5/15

I had a few shows this night. I was not ready for one of them even a little bit. Sarah Ahmed had booked me to do a set in front of the league of conservation voters. She told us to do political/environmental based material for 5 to 7 minutes. I took this to heart and worked really hard to try to come up with something. So I planned to propose a New Green New Deal with a primary focus on farts effects on the environment.

The show was at Blue Bee Cider and it was gong to be early in the night at around 5:30. So I got off work and headed straight there. When I got there Sarah pulled in behind me and I helped her set up. I also got to meet her father in law, and we all had a good conversation. I told her how nervous I was and she told me it was going to be fine.

I relaxed for a bit as more comics showed up. Anne Meng, Grace Manno, Kate Carroll, Jesse Hill Jr, and Mu were all on the show. Grace and I both had a drawing component in our bit, so she decided to tell a story about her crazy upbringing by eco warriors.

The conservation voters started to show up, and it actually started to fill up pretty nicely. Sarah is dressed as Earth. The show starts and they are definitely not an audience into comedy. Sarah does a bit where she is complaining about how hot it is and she is smoking a cigarette.. Each comic goes up and keeps trying to crack them open. No one does horribly, but it is just weird. Everyone was trying ecological humor, and some of it hits, but then they’d transition into their acts and it just felt weird and off. People got laughs, but they deserved more than they got.

Mu went up before me and he did what I should have done. He did about 45 seconds of ecological material and then said screw it and just did his act. They definitely responded to this better than anyone else. He had the best set of the night, and a lot of that was due to him not really restricting himself to doing 5 minutes of jokes he wrote that week. Definitely a solid set.

I went up next and by all outside accounts I did well. It felt horrible to do. My bit involved me pretending I just found out about climate change so I had to do something drastic to try and fix it. I came up with a taxable fart chart of all farts we should tax. This color coded pie chart included, old people farts, dog farts, cow farts, my farts, queefs (female only tax but only at 70% of regular tax), and Donald Trump’s farts. This got a laugh and was silly, but the tags I did after didn’t really work. I think they truly believed I didn’t know what climate change was.

I then went into another part where I explained that since we can’t tax cows we needed to murder them all to save the planet. This would create jobs since I would be training highly skilled assassins to kill the cows (Calf Team Six). I then had a drawing of a cow farting with a birthday cone hat on. Then I showed another drawing of me killing the cow with a series of guns, swords, and a nuclear bomb. I had also stolen the birthday cap in this drawing. All in all I am very proud of it. I did 5 minutes of environmental material, and even though it didn’t hit as hard as I wanted at all. People paid attention, and on the video it got some nice laughs.

I then just did 5 minutes of my material. That started off weak because it switched up the energy. I closed strong with a teaching joke, and every time I shit on myself and the room for not liking comedy it got a laugh as well. This is the most solid of a C I can give myself. I challenged myself to write and do something different and it succeeded. I now have more confidence to accept and do gigs like this. I could have gotten a better response if I had just done material and crowd work, but I am so proud I didn’t.

Some people talked to me about the show afterwards. They seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. Sarah reassured me it went better than I felt it did. I truly did not feel good at all about it until I rewatched it later. While on stage it felt like I was drowning in the water from a million melted ice caps. After I packed up I found out the second mic I was going to go to was cancelled, and that the other one I could have done had already started.

So I decided to head over to En Su Boca to eat with Bryan Williams and Alex Castagne. Bryan and I talked for about 40 minutes while we waited for our table to be ready. We sat down and Alex showed up about another 30 minutes later. I ordered some delicious wings, and chips. They got a burrito and tacos. After this Alex headed back to his place and Bryan and I headed to the only mic left tonight at Home Sweet Home.

I get there and it is the first night Jason Kusterer will be hosting. It is a pretty good turnout of comedian, but there is almost no audience. He decides to start it about 20 minutes late while waiting for comedians to get there. A lot of people show up including John Thomas, Bryan, Brandon, Alex, Tom Hall, and a lot of others. It is a super fun hang, and Jason has the meeting and asks if I mind going first. I tell him sure, and get my set ready.

We go upstairs and the comics fill in the room. There are a few new faces, and maybe three or four noncomics. Jason goes first and does ok before bringing me up. I go up and work on new stuff. Everything gets a good response, and I am really loving how these jokes are working out. I think I am a few weeks away from getting these jokes kind of done. I’d give this set a B. Everything worked even though it was just comics. I get off stage and watch the next few comics.

There was a queer German born comic who was on her way back from doing a comedy festival down south. She had some good stuff, and you could tell she was doing her tightest five. It worked and the people really dug it. This was shaping up to be a good ass show.

I grab my stuff and head downstairs. I said my goodbyes and handed out some hugs. I then hopped in my car and got out of there asap.

5/16

The next night I was returning to Kindred Spirit Brewing out in Goochland. My friend Stella who came and checked out my headlining spot a month ago was on this month’s show. I had asked for a guest spot on it since there were no open mics this night.

I get there super early and I have no idea how the show is going to go. It is a benefit for the Leukemia, and Lymphoma society. They are expecting a pretty big crowd so I am ready for it. My buddy John Marg is hosting it so I know it will at least be a fun hang.

Mike Ward runs the whole thing and he shows up and says one of the other comics has dropped out so he asked me to close out the show. I humbly obliged. We are getting closer and closer to show time and people are starting to pile in. I think at the show’s peak there was about 100 people in there.

They were also doing a raffle to get people to donate money, and buy tickets. People were also a little rowdy. This was a benefit, but they definitely came to have fun. John goes up first and sets the mood. He has a good hosting set, and draws a few raffle prizes. He makes sure everyone is paying attention before he brings up the first comic.

The first dude is some guy who used to do comedy a long time ago. He goes up and does 15 and gets a really good response. A lot of the jokes are things that I feel like I have heard or seen on memes, but honestly that doesn’t really matter to this crowd. He gets some really big laughs, and had them going throughout the set. He did well.

After this Mike goes up and he struggles a bit. He has a hard time getting them to pay attention. His set goes for about 20 minutes and people just seem kind of disinterested in the show, and are getting pretty loud in the back. He is working hard, and gets some laughs, but you could tell people had come to specifically see the previous dude.

Then Stella goes up. She was supposed to do 17+ but she ended up doing about 12 or 13. This was a completely different type of room for her. It was a big crowd, they were drunk, rowdy, and you had to be able to work to get them. She definitely learned a lot, and some stuff worked. Super dope she took this gig though. These are the types of gigs I used to take all the time when I started. Low or no paying, rowdy, crowd not really into comedy, and just having to work your ass off. It makes you more versatile and helps to make you bulletproof.

By this point it is looking bleak. People are leaving, it is towards the ned of the show, they have a few raffle prizes left, and it is getting late. I am foaming at the mouth to get on stage and just get it over with. I told John to light me at 15 because I only had to do 20 and I wanted to be able to get off as soon as I was ready.

I go up and just go right into crowd work. I address how loud everyone is. I start talking about how people change during raffles. How it makes you want to kill the people who win. Especially if they win more than one thing. This gets people involved. I directly address the people in the back, and the people talking and that gets some laughs as well. I am kind of on a roll. So I use the first 10 or so minutes only on crowd work. It is destroying.

After this I get the raffle girl who was named “woman of the year” for god knows what. I then draw two raffle tickets. They are both won by the same dude. I am selling my surprise and it is destroying. He actually poses in front of me to take pictures and I give the camera the finger. My fake frustration is really selling it all.

I then draw one last raffle ticket and read everything up until the last number. I then put it in my back pocket and make them wait for the end of my set. I then do 15 minutes of new material with a few pauses to keep crowd involved. Everything works, and honestly it was a great set. I finish and get a good response. I’d give this set an A. I really rose to the occasion and am super proud of this set.

Afterwards I talk comedy with Stella and John for a bit. I then get everything together and talk to some people. We take some photos and I find out they raised a good amount of money which feels awesome. I then grab my stuff and head home because I am exhausted.

5/17

The next night I am booked to headline a show in Charlottesville at The Guerrilla Theatre hosted by Heather Kilburn. The lineup is Heather, Ben Wasserman (NYC), Sam Padgett, Kate Carroll, Brandon Beswick and myself. I get there early to set up my camera and chill.

It is a small black box theatre. People started to show up and we realized it was going to be a fun, lively, and intimate show. We are all hanging in the back and you can tell Heather is nervous because it is her first time hosting a standup show.

We get about 30 people in a room that seats 40, and she decides to start the show. She gets the crowd in the mood, and feels them out. Then she brings up Ben. Ben does mostly audience participation/crowd work. He also started his set off with a song parody. Def had an alt vibe, and the audience seemed to enjoy it. It was a good opening set.

After him went Sam and then Kate. They both weaved in and out of having home on their side, losing them, and then getting them back. It was fun to watch. Then Brandon went up and had a really strong set. He had some bit hit harder than I’d heard them hit for a long time. He closed crazy strong and I knew I had to bring it.

I went up and had to work to win them over up top. Stuff was going over ok, and each joke did better than the last. I finally started to do really well in the middle. I had a hot first 25 and then I had to start checking my notes because of how much old and new stuff I was doing. People were really enjoying it and the last 10 went well as well. My closer hit pretty hard and I’d give this whole set a B-. Cool I was able to do 25 without crowd work, and without checking my notes. It was also cool that some of the newer bits are really coming into their own.

After the show all the comics and audience left, but Heather had made pasta for anyone that wanted any. I hung out with her, her step dad, her sister, and some of her friends/fellow improvisors for about an hour. It was a really fun way to unwind. I then decided to drive straight to Fairfax to stay at Tjs place since we were leaving in the morning to go to Pittsburgh.

5/18

The next morning I woke up and TJ and I went to go grab lunch while we waited for Kevin Tit (DC comic) who was going to ride up with us to Pittsburgh. We decided to go to Freddy’s Steakburgers, and I absolutely fell in love. I got a bacon cheeseburger, a half and half shake, and a large fry and some fry sauce. I ate every last piece of it. TJ and I both destroyed our burgers. I hadn’t had a fast foot burger that good in a very long time.

During this time Kevin messaged the group chat and said he wasn’t going to make it so TJ and I grabbed out stuff and headed on the road. It was about a four hour ride up there. We talked comedy, listened to music, I napped a bit, and we stopped for some candy on the way up. The time went by pretty quickly. The craziest thing I saw was on the side of the road near Pittsburgh there was a car engulfed in flames. I had never seen anything like it in person. You could see the smoke from like a mile away.

We got to the venue and parked in the garage before going inside of the Arcade Comedy Theatre. We were there super early. We went in the green room and just chilled. TJ passed out and I started dumping video files from my camera, and clearing off space on my laptop. The dude working the sound booth gave us a tour of the venue and it is a killer space with an upstairs and a downstairs room.

The first comic showed up. Her vibe was throwing me off. She was nice, but seemed aloof. Was making comments that honestly were stressing me the hell out. She was saying things like I always run the light, I don’t know what I’m doing, and stuff like that. I don’t know, but I was fraeking. Then she mentioned how new she was to comedy and it made me feel instantly better. My knee jerk anxiety had now subsided, and I was just super excited for the show.

The rest of the comics showed up including Robert Punchur and the host Ed Bailey. They usually have a brewery sponsor the show and have some free beer for the audience but apparently some comics and the brewery bailed. So we all got to do a little more time. Two other comics showed up to hang out and they were pretty cool too. It was a fun hang.

the show started and there was a pretty good crowd there. They were tight and you had to work. Ed went up and did well with some crowd work. Then the female comic went up and got some laughs as well.

I went up and had a super fun set. I was able to crack the audience. I did 15 without notes and crowd work. I was able to float in and out of my material and got some super good pops. Some things didn’t kill, but they did get the audience looser. I’d give my set a B.

After me was Robert and he did about 20 and did well. Then TJ went up and worked his butt off. He closed with like 25 and worked new in with old. It was a super fun show. Afterwards we hopped right in his car and headed back. We arrived at his place at like 3 am and we passed right out! A super fun trip.

5/20

This night was pretty laid back. I was doing the Southern’s open mic. I got there a little early. I wasn’t feeling great but I got some hanging out in. I grabbed a burger with Alex, Paige, and Chris.

I was going up fifth. I tried some newer stuff and it worked ok. Nothing killed. There wasn’t a huge crowd. some of the new stuff I tried to work out. I’d give my set a D.

I left pretty quickly after this because of how bad I was feeling. All in all it wasn’t that memorable of a night. It was pretty disappointing, but I was excited for our show there Friday.

5/22

I had a couple shows this night. I was booked by Melissa Harris and Dylan Vattelana for their first showcase at Canon and Draw in Richmond. I was super stoked. They were going to be using my PA system for the show so I headed right over after work.

I got there about 4:15 and brought all of my stuff in. I then did some video editing while I waited for Dylan and Melissa to get there. Once they arrived we set up the PA and she took a few pictures. Then we just hung out and waited for the audience to get there. Dylan and I played Mario Kart Double Dash, and people started to come in.

The format was going to be Dylan hosting then Anthony Thompson, myself, and then Kate Carroll for the showcase. Then after that there would be an open mic. By the time Dylan went up there was a really good sized crowd there. This was going to be fun. There was two people who were there when we set up and said they were staying for comedy since they were from out of town (Austin). They then they left almost immediately when Dylan started.

The only problem was that you could barely hear Dylan. We had done a sound check at the beginning, but we had done it with both speakers set up. Melissa and Dylan had taken one down because they wanted the logo in the pictures. This is fine, but we didn’t recheck sound.

So after Dylan’s set we adjusted it, and Anthony went up. He had a very strong set. He got people’s attention, and his jokes were hitting which is a killer combo. The show was really rolling at this point.

Then it was my turn. I went up, and tried to get the crowd back into my rhythm. I started a little slow, but I didn’t want to do crowd work for this set. I wanted them to like my jokes. Luckily they did. I was able to get all of my material going. It was all hitting, and I managed to close pretty strong. This was a solid B set. I did about 16 minutes and I wish I could have gone longer.

Kate went up after me and she had her lulls, but she was able to get them back. The open mic was next. From what I heard everybody on the mic was having a solid set. The audience stayed, and that’s always a good sign.

I went outside and some audience members came outside and talked to us about how good the show was. They gave us a lot of compliments and it was a good vibe.

Anthony and I had a nice long talk about comedy. What we want to do with it, and where we want to go. It was nice to catch up and just shoot the shit for a while.

When the show ended a table talked to me about my set. I got some follows on social media, and they mentioned wanting to do a brunch show sometime and I told them they definitely should. I said my goodbyes and turned around and saw that Dylan and Melissa had already packed up my stuff. I got John Marg to help me take it to my car before heading over to McCormacks.

I get to McCormacks and it is an ok crowd. The comics in the back were all mostly knew and were already kind of in a conversation so I sat off to the side. I got my set ready because I was going first.

Jessie went up and had an ok set. The crowd was paying attention but they were small. I just wanted to get some new stuff out and see what worked. He calls me up and I was really pleased with my open mic set. It was all you can ask for in a mic. I’d give it a B-. People paid attention, I got some good pops, and I know where to take my jokes. I said goodbye and headed straight home.

5/23

My mental health was taking a deep dive all week. This was when it started to get really rough. I had wanted to get caught up on the blog this day, but I kept telling myself no one wanted to read it and I should just give it up. So I put it off another day.

I had two open mics this day though so I had to keep my head up and be ready to work through some material. The first was at The Camel. Jameson was hosting, but was letting Patrick Buhse host the second half of the show.

I got there early and did some writing. Francesca, Jarvis, Buhse, Muñoz, Jameson, Kusterer, Richard Woody and a few others showed up. We were all hanging out, and I really needed it. They had no idea how these interactions really were helping my mental health.

Kusterer and Jarvis were the headliners, and there was a couple comics before them. I was so in my own head that I didn’t get to enjoy Jarvis and Kusterer’s sets the way I wanted to. Kusterer kept pretending to be the bouncer, but the crowd was kind of dead. He got some pops, and he kept playing with the light Jameson was using. Jarvis then went up and did his act, but the whole crowd was just weird.

Buhse started the next part and then it was my turn. I went up and bombed my dong off. I got maybe a few laughs. I couldn’t connect, and I was just trying to get the wording right. I’d give this set a D-. It felt like absolute shit.

I then headed over to Penny Lane to hang out and destress. Eventually a few other comics showed up. Anthony and Beswick were there. Along with Stella. We were all shooting the shit and enjoying it. Then out of nowhere Jericho Davidson (NYC) showed up. He’s a super dope dude and comic. He was down for a show that weekend and came in a night early to hang. It was super dope to see him and joke around.

The show started and Muñoz said I was after him. Muñoz did some crowd work and got a lady on stage with him and had her singing. it was incredibly crazy and weird. I could tell this was going to be a rough show. When I went up I couldn’t connect. I felt like half of my stuff worked. None of it hit as hard as it should have. The only joke that worked was the one I closed with about rough sex. I get off stage and go in the back. Then Beswick goes up and has the same luck. He didn’t do so hot either.

We then both watch Stella. She bombs too, but the best part was some woman said she wasn’t funny so she just started talking about how she thought the woman had on an ugly dress. The audience hated her for it. It was her first experience with that and she felt terrible. We told her it happens, and it was a learning experience. After shooting the shit a little bit more I headed home. I had a long day at work the next day (subbing in a different program), my head was in a shitty space, and I needed rest.

5/24

This was a show I had been looking forward to until this week. Honestly I was in a horrible place all week and was worried this show was going to be terrible. Tonight was The After Show. This is the politically focused show hosted by Chris Alan. I am the fact checker, and the dude who gives them the topics.

The lineup was a fun one. We had Anne Meng, Kenn Edwards, Sam Padgett, and Will Jones (local barber/small business owner/activist). I got to the show early because I was in a bad headspace. I was super nervous because I had a falling out with a comic over a sensitive issue. Luckily we made up shortly before the show started. So that relieved a lot of my anxiety.

I was nervous because it was Memorial Day weekend that we would not have a very large crowd. I was right. It was the most poorly attended show we have put on in the main room. I would say we had about 30 people there. Which isn’t awful, but was extremely disappointing.

We finally decided to start the show. I brought everyone out and we jumped right into it. The first ten minutes or so it was weird. Honestly the vibe in the room was everyone was super uptight. it felt like this was going to be a super shitty show. We couldn't get a single big pop, and Chris was rubbing people the wrong way. I don’t think the audience knew what to make of the show.

I finally broke through and got a huge pop when we were talking about Ayesha Curry’s comments. This led to the show turning out to be amazing. It was equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, informative, and important. We covered a lot of ground. We talked about the KKK coming to Dayton and tied it back into what happened in Charlottesville last year, the Alabama abortion bill, gay rights in Africa, and a lot of others. I’d give the whole show a B. It was way better than it had any right to be. the crowd bought into it and we had a blast.

After the show I got a lot of compliments from people about how I did. I was able to get a lot of pops on my jokes, and still able to steer the conversation. It felt really good to do. Also got told that like 15 minutes into the show a dude tried to get his money back. He was a Trump supporter and he thought the show was going to be way more focused on comedy instead of half and half. The crazy thing is I think we said Trump’s name once during the whole show. He wasn’t the focus.

Chris and I both try to not make this a show of division. We almost never talk about political parties at all. We just talk about our own opinions, and the issues. We have guests of different backgrounds on to make sure multiple sides are represented. Just really funny to have a Trump guy be a snowflake for once. On a side note I am not mad he left. He did the right thing. If you don’t like the show leave. He didn’t interrupt, and he wasn’t rude. Which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of the SJWs who get upset at a joke.

We hung out outside for a little bit, and I talked to Kenn therapy. I need to get my head better, and honestly this week was the final straw. I have a lot of work to do in my life. I don’t want to miss out on some of the best things in my life just because I am stubborn and not seeing a therapist who can actually help me.

5/25

The next day I feel like dogshit. The only positive is I have a show at Castleburg Brewery in RVA. I am getting to do an episode of The Winstmas Games which I am super stoked about. Then that will be followed by a concert by The Alex Jonestown Massacre.

I get there pretty early and start to get everything ready. I am just trying to distract my brain from all of the bad thoughts so I do some video editing and writing. Eventually Kenn, Pat Miller, and Mike Engle (comics/members of AJM) show up and set up for the concert.

There isn’t a crowd at all, but I am still hopeful it is going to be fun. I help set up, and get the games ready for the podcast. The teams are AJM vs Brandon Beswick, Amita Rao (improviser), and Jason Kusterer.

Brandon has to leave by 8 to get to his Improv show. So that meant we couldn’t do a super long episode, which honestly was ok with me. At around 7:15 we got started because we actually had about a dozen people there. Which is a fine sized crowd for me. At 7 we had nobody other than a couple coworkers who came out. It was dope to have their support.

The show was actually insanely good. It was one of the funnier episodes I had done and it made me wish I could do it live every week. It was about a 40 minute episode and it got laughs all the way through. Everybody did really well, and I had some true belly laughs. It is such a fun feeling to get this show to work. I’d give it a B+ all the way around.

I then hung out and watched the concert. It was really fun. I hadn’t seen them in a super long time. It was just so nice to not have bad stuff on my mind. Unfortunately as soon as the show ended they all came rushing back. After the show Kenn talked to me about this meditation app. I decided that it was worth a shot. He told me what to email them and I got a free year to use it. Hopefully I am able to make an even bigger change in my life. I am determined to be ok with myself, and work towards fulfillment. I am tired of feeling this way.

I say my goodbye’s and head home. I have one more show this weekend and it is in Annapolis. I know it is going to be a long day tomorrow

5/26

The next day I wake up at around 9. I do my first day of meditation and I actually enjoy it. I know it is going to take al to of work to maintain it, but I am willing to do anything to help. I then go take a nap for an hour or so. I wake up and head to Chris Alan’s house. He is going to drive us up to Annapolis for our show at Harvest restaurant hosted by Matt Brown.

I get to Chris and we head out. We have an argument about Albanese gummy bears. He had posted online they were terrible, but I told him that his favorite gummy bears (7-11 brand/Sheetz brand) is just repackaged Albanese. He didn’t believe me. So we bought a bag of each and I made him do a taste test in the car. You have no idea how satisfying it was for him to eat them both and have to begrudgingly say they are the same and he actually likes Albanese better than Haribo.

He always makes food posts on fb to upset people. So he told me he was going to do an apology one which I can’t wait for. So now I have something to look forward to for the next few days.

We talk about music, life, comedy, my depression, and all other things on the way up there. It is a nice peaceful drive and we don’t hit a ton of traffic. Then we get into Annapolis it is giving us a bit of anxiety. The streets are all really narrow, there isn’t a lot of parking, and there are a ton of people out.

We finally get a spot right in front of the venue and we walk around,. We go look at the shops, restaurants, and the water. After walking around a bit we meet Matt at the venue. We go in and order some food. Chris got wings and fries, and I went with the carne asada. They both looked really good, and mine tasted good too. We then head upstairs to get ready for the show.

It is crazy hot this day, and the venue’s air conditioning was not working at all. So it was brutal upstairs. We wait an extra fifteen minutes for the show to fill in and then we start it up. Matt goes up and gets the crowd going. IT takes him a bit, but they start to warm up. Then there is a female comic who I don’t remember who goes up, and she is followed by a dude I’ve never met before. The girl doesn’t do too hot, and the dude had a pretty strong set. He got the ball rolling.

After him was Jamie Benedi who I think is a super funny/weird joke writer. I was curious to see how this day drunk Memorial Day weekend crowd would dig him. They did not vibe with him at all. The jokes were great, but they just didn’t get on his wave length and couldn't connect.

After he got off it was my turn and I used the first few minutes to kind of rest the room. I just did crowd work, and got them to get on my side. I was working my ass off. I was getting laughs all the way throughout, but there was one dude who seemed super drunk and seemed to not care about what I was saying at all. My material did ok, and I was doing really well in the middle. I closed weaker than I wanted, but it was all in all a pretty good set. I’d say it was a solid B.

After me Chris went up and had a super hot one. He leaned in with his material and did a lot of crowd work. I always feel so dumb when I don’t do crowd work for my whole set, because I know I could have killed harder. All of Chris material and crowd work went over great. He is a killer comic and always a blast to watch.

There was supposed to be a big storm so we left as soon as he got off stage. We had a nice and peaceful drive back. We talked about the show and his upcoming show doing Tuesdays With Stories live at the Comedy Cellar at Village Underground. It was a great ride, and helped me stay occupied. After getting back to his place I drove home, and tried to fall asleep. Although I was having a hard time. I eventually passed out

I DID IT I DID IT! I didn’t let my depression keep me from doing the blog. I had the next two days off. They weren’t the best days, but I am so hopeful for my mental health. I’m taking a lot of the right steps and trying to make things right in my life.

The meditation is really helping me a lot. I also exercised. I think I have decided that until I figure out these issues a move isn’t in my best interest. I need to fix me before I start moving hundreds of miles away from my support system. This was a tough decision to come to, but I came to it for a ton of reasons. This is what I need to do and I am very happy with that decision.

Thanks for everything. I love you all very much. I am not going to miss out on the dopest thing in my life. So I’ve got to get this right. LOVE YOU LAYDEES!!!!

#comedy #punk rock #gameshows #standup #bomb #politics #democrat #republican #alabama #abortion #hilarious

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artsynanotech · 8 years ago

Text

The Hacker’s Job, Part 2

I think this has been the most whirlwind night of my undead existence in, well, the entire time I’ve been undead. In the span of six hours I botched an investigation, got kidnapped, fought a man twice my size, and got a date. Let me repeat. I have a date. Or the promise of one, at least. What strange alternate universe have I found myself in? Not that I’m upset about it. Obviously I’m not or I wouldn’t have agreed. What I am is mightily confused. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

After getting back to our domain from Khan’s arcade, we headed to Michella’s place and met up with Caroline. She was, as expected, not pleased with us at all. But she agreed to help us with the Leonard Problem™ all the same. We decided to start our investigation the next night, then headed back to our havens to get some rest. The next night we met up at the Italian place to discuss our game plan. I suggested we pull the fire alarm in Leonard’s building to get him out of his apartment earlier, and clear the place for a decent while so we could search to our hearts content. We also decided to introduce ourselves to one of the coteries who control that area of town. This is the part where I met my date. The interested party, a kindred named Ares, bumped into me on our way out of restaurant. He was flustered, I was flustered. Apologies were exchanged, then names. The whole conversation consisted of only a few phrases and some nervous waves. It was awkward. My friends and I had work to do, though, so even if I was good with strangers I couldn’t stay to chat. We took a cab to Leonard’s neighborhood and set about looking for one of the kindred in charge. We found him in a rather noisy park. A very… free spirited man by the name of Hank. His demeanor made me wonder if he only feeds on stoners, though I admit it’s unkind of me to say so. He was actually rather welcoming. We explained our plan to him and he gave us permission to attempt it, and even invited us back to visit whenever we wanted. He also warned us to stay away from kindred who live in the north side of the neighborhood. One of his coterie mates, a woman whose name I didn’t catch, showed up though and was less thrilled with us. She seemed bitter over Amelia’s situation. That didn’t surprise me one bit. I have a feeling convicting Amelia is going to be something we will never, ever live down. I’m going to be brief on this next bit. We failed. Hardcore. Leonard left his apartment ahead of schedule, we didn’t find jack in his apartment, and Michella broke a bunch of porcelain in the process so we had to bail early. Upon exiting the building and trying to regroup we were approached by the North Side Kindred, the lot of them anarchs, who pulled weapons and told us to follow them or face the consequences. One had a cricket bat dotted with nails. Another had a gun. They were… insistent. Uninspired, though. One of them called me a “fucking queer.” I mean, really? Are we in a high school locker room? I could come up with ten insults more cutting in less than a second. But after spending two years with my ex, I suppose most bullies seem tame in comparison. Rhett stood up for me. He didn’t need to. There was no sense in getting offended on my account over something so trivial. But it was… it was nice. The more I get to know him the luckier I feel to be his friend. They loaded us into a trunk and took us to their, well, I guess you could call it a base? It was a back room in a copy shop, set up with gambling and a fight ring and all that seedy underbelly jazz. The anarchs who captured us brought us to their boss, Xavier. He was just as immature as the rest of his crew. Of course the first thing Xavier did was hurl boring insults at us. Wretchid was “Fuckface,” which to Wretchid’s credit, he took in great stride. Michella was “nerd,” I was “the little queer boy,” and Caroline was a long string of female pejoratives that changed with every sentence. Xavier seemed especially hostile towards her. Maybe even a little bit jealous. I’m not sure, but I think the two of them have the same sire. Prince Maxwell did mention Caroline having a failed predecessor at our presentation… Wretchid couldn’t stop mouthing off, of course. Xavier found it amusing. His cohorts did not. Regardless, it was looking like Xavier was going to have us taken out back and shot. He was, surprise surprise, upset about Amelia. He said they had a good partnership going, and that we had to pay for taking her down. I decided to go out on a limb and try to clear the air about that situation. I know Wretchid thinks we made the right call. I’m not sure about Caroline and Michella. But I know that I didn’t like the outcome one bit. Honesty is the best policy, right? I tried to explain as calmly as possible how in over our heads we were. That we were happy to try and pick up some of Amelia’s slack, and in fact that was exactly what we were trying to do when we accepted Khan’s proposal. I told him that maybe, had we really known what was going on in the city at the time, we might have made a different call. I did make it clear I only spoke for myself on certain matters, like how terrible I felt about Amelia’s sentence. It honestly all came off as more than a ramble. Oddly enough it worked.

Well sort of. Xavier seemed pleased with my words. But he also asked me to back them up by fighting him. So that happened. The two of us stepped into the fighting ring. Michella was losing her mind with worry the whole time. I managed to hold my own rather well, all things considered. I did a passable job dodging. I managed to trip him and land a few hits of my own. They didn’t do much, but at least they landed. The crowd got really into it. Xavier managed to grapple me at the end. I tried to retaliate by grabbing his junk. It seemed like a good idea to get him to let me go. Unfortunately I couldn’t get a grip and ended up fondling him instead. Awkward. But he did let go. “I guess I’m prettier than I thought,” he said. Ugh. In hindsight, I could have followed up with a great one-liner. Something like “I was hoping your straight male ego was more fragile than the rest of you,” or “Sorry, but gay men generally avoid making passes at cunts.” Wretchid must be rubbing off on me. Not too much, though, since I said neither of those things and instead just said something about it at least getting Xavier to let me go. Xavier was satisfied though, as were his compatriots, and our exit from the ring was met with cheers and too many people that I did not know trying to ruffle my hair and give me congratulatory back pats. Xavier said that he wouldn’t give me or my friends any more trouble. Thank God. I was an absolute nervous wreck by the end. We made a hasty retreat and caught a bus back to our domain. Michella and Caroline made their way to their havens. Wretchid and I live in the same direction, so we walked together for a bit. Now here’s the part I was skipping to earlier. Ares was waiting for us at the Italian place. He said he’d been there for a while because he didn’t know where else to find us. Then in a nervous, roundabout way he asked me out for coffee. Or rather, to hang out in a coffee shop and enjoy the smell. Because vampires don’t drink coffee. Obviously. I know I’m not the most impressive looking of guys. What caught Ares’ eye in our split second meeting earlier is beyond me. But he doesn’t seem that different from me. He was obviously just as embarrassed as I was by the whole situation. I decided to take a chance and say yeah, coffee sounds good. We exchanged emails. Wretchid offered to let him stay over for the night, as it was getting rather close to daytime. Ares agreed, so I guess I’ll be seeing him tomorrow. I suppose we can hammer out date details then. I’m honestly not sure what to make of this. I haven’t been on a date since I left the ex. I had some rebound hookups immediately after the breakup, but that was just sex. Now I’ve agreed to go out with a total stranger. Someone stake me. On the bright side, he’s rather nice looking. Not my usual type, mind you, but attractive in his own right. And he’s tall. At least a foot more so than me. That is a definite plus. Here’s hoping this doesn’t turn out to be a total disaster…

#IC #Session recap #Under a cut because this one is LONG

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