#they grew up poor and working hard in the field around the house

[beachesgetpeaches]

but there is something to be extracted here on how something that IS (almost) true ("poor people are happier with less", which inevitably supplies that you "dont need money to buy happiness")... can be so twisted in logic so that it is taken away from what it truly signifies in this sad wretched world

(yeah I am feeling weird this morning and I am going to go on a rant)

poor people, or people who in general have less. families that at their very best live pay-check to pay-check... they have more "real world" problems compared to the comfy upper classes. they live with daily, monthly, yearly stress of how can I make my finances handle this next burden. and they struggle and they find ways to make do.

kids get hand me down books or clothes. parents sacrifice their desire for something sweet so the kids can get smth... idk there are likely multiple examples.

but imo the people in such situation have an understanding of money which differs so much from the rich (not even filthy rich) materialistic point of view. i feel like when you don't have as much, or sometimes don't have enough you learn that money is just a means to an end.

or well... money is not something you covet for yourself. thats the first thing. you learn that you need it, and then you want it to fix the injustice you observe or smth. which is why i have this sense that people who grew up with very little and now have a good wage... are more likely to donate a proper amount if they can?

and then on the other hand, when you grow up poor, it idk it teaches some good intrinsic values that are far more important in the world. like how important and good it is to be oriented towards people, how important a community is, how we (the people) can support each other in so many ways.

and my goal is not to romanticise growing up poor and not having anything, but when they say that poor people are happier with less this is what they forget? because the initial knee-jerk assumption is that poor people are happier with less bcs they don't have much anyway.

i think that they just have a much more correct outlook on the true value of people and material items.

"poor people are happier with less" and "money won't buy happiness" is literally classist propaganda. stop buying into it and start making molotov cocktails

[inbabylontheywept]

the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.

the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)

but.

but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.

at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.

so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.

i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.

and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.

so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.

which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.

and then we got pulled over.

i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:

i’d forgotten my license at home. 

the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.

now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like

so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:

ok. stop.

and we stopped.

and he said do you know why i pulled you over?

and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.

and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.

but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.

the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.

[where-dreams-dwell]

I haven’t read the book and only have vague recolections of the movie (though I remember sobbing violently at several points) but I hoped I’d love Netflix’s One Day adaption. And of course I did but one of the things I loved was so unexpected.

I love how they portrayed Sylvie.

Particularly how that relationship both ended and endured. How even at the start there were issues but the small kind you want to work on and work through. She knew her family were hard work but she was on Dex’s side and wanted him to be accepted: but still knew that her opinion was the one that mattered. Dex knew he didn’t fit it but he was trying so damn hard to, and hoped that if he kept trying it would be enough eventually. And she wasn’t this demon or harpy, even people who just met her liked her. She was a nice person.

So many times when the male lead is with another woman before they eventually get together with the female lead this ‘other woman’ is portrayed as toxic, unmanageable, cruel, snobbish, etc… or even just unpleasant to be around; someone we’re happy for the male lead to leave. Maybe it helps us to support the male leads pursuit of the female lead and not confront his poor behaviour as a romantic partner if that ‘other woman’ is unlikable and we’re happy to see her gone?

But here they made it clear: Sylvie is a kind nice woman who loves Dex, and didn’t handle the crumbling of their marriage well.

It was almost voyeuristic how we saw the breakdown of her and Dex’s marriage. It seemed so bloody real. New baby, no sleep, renovating the house, all of it building up until you’re being a bitch and you know you are, and you’re apologising after the fact for what you said but you don’t know how to talk around the fact that you still meant some of the things you said. And a partner who you know is struggling with direction and purpose, and you want them to do well, but *god* you’re the one fielding questions and having to go to bat for them every time someone asks, and as a result you never feel safe to take a break or question them yourself.

And (I don’t know how intentional this was) but Dex’s joking tone which is clearly meant to relax and reassure just came across as him not taking things seriously or being trustworthy. Sylvie lists a whole range of food options for Jasmine while she’s out for the night, clearly showing she has prepped *everything* ahead of time: she isn’t leaving Dex in charge of finding or cooking Jasmine dinner, she’s leading him by the hand to the ready made stuff and telling him now to reheat it. Kind of like he’s a child too. It really shows how capable she feels he is.

And then Dex jokes about giving Jasmine crisps. He’s clearly trying to break the tense atmosphere and joke around with his wife, but it just comes across as ‘I wasn’t listening to you, I don’t realise how much work you’ve done, you were right not to trust me to cook dinner because look what I immediately suggested, you can’t rely on me’.

In all their conversations the tone of their voices just show they’re not sure how to talk to one another anymore, that they know everything they say will be taken the wrong way and so they have no idea how to speak.

It felt like no one was particularly demonised or made into a caricature. Just two people who were different, put under stress until they broke and grew apart. And Sylvie had been responding to this state of her marriage by having an affair, so she is clearly in the wrong there and the one who causes the divorce etc, but… I don’t know; here it comes across more as a plea for help or freedom in the midst of her confusion and less a lack of care or thought for Dex and her daughter (like I remember it coming across in the movies).

Even when they have the brief mention of dramatics and anger around the divorce, afterwards she’s back in the picture as a level headed co-parent: joking around to relate to Emma, sharing co-parenting pains with HER too (‘Jasmin’s learning the violin?’ ‘Yes that’s why we’re fleeing the country’). And genuinely congratulating them in their relationship and marriage.

You don’t see many ex-wives in media who are so openly concerned about how their ex-husband is handling his second wife’s death. She’s present, caring and supportive. And keeps reaching out to him well after she could be forgiven for stepping back.

So yeah I loved all of One Day and yeah it made me cry AGAIN, but I also loved how real they made those significant relationships look. How adult and complicated and messy and ‘no one was a monster/you were both wrong in different ways/there is no right and wrong’ they played out as.

Just because she wasn’t the ‘love of his life’ doesn’t mean she was a footnote either.

[jalwyn21]

The thing that pisses me off the most about Swifties talking about Joe using public transport as a British person is how oblivious they clearly are to how class even works in the UK. I know some other people have said this but it just really shows their ignorance. Joe is from what would be considered an upper middle class background which is literally just a couple of steps below aristocracy in Britain. If you actually look at his family history, he's got some very influential family members. Plus, his family is clearly in a position to support not only his but Patrick's goals of acting. In Patrick's case studying internationally. And I believe Tom went to Cambridge. That's three children from London (one of the most expensive cities in the world) who've had a very expensive education.

There is such a disparity in class in Britain and London especially. Generally speaking, the people that get to have careers in acting are the ones that have the resources to fund it as well as the connections. While there are certainly working class people who become successful in the field, most don't even get the chance because of the class disparity. James McAvoy has spoken on this. Now this isn't shading Joe or his family because they are clearly good people and Joe is very talented (and I'm sure Patrick is too) and has worked hard but the fact is they have had resources and privileges that many other British people don't have. So for these swifties who would obviously know what the Alwyn's actual financial background is and the connections they have (because they seem to stalk Joe's every move) to use him travelling on the tube as something to prove how poor he is and make fun of him, is truly offensive to me personally as someone who grew up working class. I like Joe and I have nothing against his family at all but it bothers me that these swifties would take what is a genuine issue that so many people in Britain deal with and apply it to a man that most definitely has not dealt with it for the sole purpose of making fun of him.

Also, for all Taylor likes to talk about having to move to a foreign country and live in a rental house, if her relationship with Joe is any indication, she obviously did not live the life a regular British person would live. Hell even if she hadn't been with Joe at the time, she wouldn't have experienced that regular life because while Joe at the time was just a normal person, she was still Taylor Swift.

I think swifties in particular but most Americans in general can't wrap their heads around the concept of Europe. Seriously, it's a thing.. 🤷‍♀️

And yes, Joe is lucky enough to have had a good life and a good family and the best education money can buy.

The thing with Joe, is that you don't feel it. You don't feel how privileged he is because he is not disconnected from reality and he doesn't rub it in people's faces.

He genuinely doesn't think he is better than other people. Joe knows how to be normal. You know the yogurt boy jokes? Yeah, it only shows that even as a teenager he was more grounded than she will ever be. He built character. She built billions. 🤷‍♀️

And to be fair about Europe.. the public transportation is not bad so I think everyone uses it, regardless of how much money they have. 🤭

But yeah, the Joe is poor jokes are very offensive and in the poor taste I've come to expect from swifties.

Also, bragging about someone else being a billionaire is not the win they think it is. Especially if you consider that the people who made her a billionaire are probably struggling with the cost of living... 🙄

[anarchywoofwoof]

It's funny about the homeschooling thing: I had friends who were homeschooled and I cannot express how badly many of us wish our parents had the means to do so.

I was sick so often (bad immune system, endometriosis before they had a term for it) we had to go to court to defend ourselves for "truancy." I had straight A's. When I was there, I swept the tests. But they want you there in person, or else.

To not have had to wait in the cold or blazing heat without gear because poor and our parents had to be at work at 6am......

I know there are plenty of parents not cut out for it or who weren't trained and would give a subpar education, but wouldn't it be great if as humans we had so much time on our hands that we COULD?

Like every adult had so much time they could educate themselves on at least one or two subjects until a little human comes around and then Get Excited to tell them!! About the thing they learned!! Some adults really like space, some love crochet or woodworking - to see all your teachers (adults in your community) passionate about subjects and to have the freedom to express your own like or dislike or take breaks when you need to without judgement? To work at your own pace?? God I want for that future. Also tech can cut down on infections/flu and illness spreading because idiot schools INSIST on keeping 100's of students locked into tiny rooms with poor ventilation. Our school wouldn't let us open the windows during the heat of summer. Because reasons?? Note, we didn't have air conditioning.

thanks for sharing this.

so here's the thing: although i was homeschooled (really, more "no schooled" than anything), i was able to teach myself on the internet. when i was growing up, the internet was just really taking off (jesus christ i feel old saying that) and it enabled me to really just kind of teach myself whatever i wanted. so as i grew older, i grew more resourceful, more digitally literate and crafted my own education.

now the downside to this is that if you want to go into a highly-skilled field or something like science, mathematics, etc. that kind of thing is hard to pull off in a home setting.

for instance, i had absolutely no science "classes" during my school life because the amount of equipment and knowledge needed is far surpassed what my truck driver father and leasing agent mother could provide

keep in mind, i didn't have tutors. i didn't have in-house teachers. it was my fucking dad teaching me between his time working from 3 PM to 1 AM and my mom checking my homework when she remembered and after she got home from work at 5 PM. most days, i didn't have "school." i slept in and did whatever i wanted throughout the rest of the day. luckily, i was addicted to knowledge regardless, so it all worked out for me.

i'm not opposed to the idea of homeschooling, i should stress this. i won't necessarily go to the extremes of calling it child abuse or something like that. but i do think it's wise to remember that a school has entire staff dedicated to teaching your child and that perhaps it takes some hubris to assume you can fulfill your kids learning needs the same way that a staff of (hopefully) trained professionals can.

i think homeschooling is more possible than ever in the current digital world that we occupy. but my parents definitely didn't have the time, money, patience or any other of the valuable resources that you need to teach a kid from 1st grade to their senior year of high school. especially in the late 90's, early 00's, which is when i grew up.

and the problem is often that most parents don't actually have these resources, but still think that they're more than capable of meeting all of those needs that i mentioned before. unfortunately, this ends up hurting their kid the most when they go out into the world with absolutely no clue how to function in it socially.

[yearnforag0ny]

The MD and the DVM: Chapter 2

Author's Note: This is a quick second chapter. Crossposted on ao3 under xxdeaduniverse. I have been stalking my computer, trying to see if anyone has left me criticism. Thank you for reading<3

Monday morning had been an early one. Around 3:30 in the morning, your phone blared your ringtone and rudely awoke you. Marnie had called you in a panic because one of her cows had difficulty calving. Unfortunately, circumstances like these were part of your new life, too.

By seven, you had already finished your farm chores. You looked over the field, admiring your hard work. You were slightly grateful that Marnie’s poor heifer calved so early in the morning because it gave you ample time to prepare for a somewhat exciting day. Today, you were to order your new barn and see Harvey at the clinic. You were more excited to think about the possibility of having your own cows. However, a little voice in your mind urged you to investigate him further. You didn’t know why. So far, all you knew you had in common were educational degrees, even though each was vastly different. But he sure was handsome.

After cleaning yourself up, you arrived at Robin’s shop right at opening. You walked in to see her yawing and cupping a steaming mug with two hands. The smell of coffee so early in the morning was heavenly. “Oh, hi,” Robin sputtered, clearly surprised to see you. “You’re up early.”

“Yeah, well, cows don’t wait until you’re awake to start having problems,” You chuckled.

“Did you have fun at the bar on Friday? We didn’t get a chance to talk. Demetrius refused to let me step off the dancefloor,” She rolled her eyes with a smile.

“I had a great time. Although I may have had too much wine since I can’t remember who all I was able to meet,” You shyly grinned. You knew taking the edge off was the only way you would be able to withstand meeting so many new people.

Robin laughed and dismissingly waved her hand. “Eh, whatever. I would have done the same,” She winked at you. “You met Harvey, though, right? I know Maru has always thought he would thrive with a third “intelligent” villager here.” You nodded. “We met briefly. I’m actually planning to head to the clinic after this to get checked up.” She raised an eyebrow and sipped some of her coffee. “I see.”

After all was said and done, Robin approximated the barn would be finished in three days. You held your tongue when you considered asking how she would build something like a barn in three days. The sooner, the better. As you walked out the front door, you buzzed with anticipation. Things were going just as planned.

As you took the shortcut from the mountains into town, you noticed a run-down building across the river. I guess I’m not surprised to see an abandoned building when there’s an abandoned bus and the farm was in such bad shape, you thought. Strolling past it, you found yourself in town. You paused to stare at the blue house diagonal from Pierre’s and considered the fact that not all the townspeople were at the bar Friday night. Going door-to-door would make you seem like you wanted to be more involved…right?

Doing this felt odd, but you knocked on the front door of the cute blue cottage. “Coming!” A male voice bellowed from inside. A shirtless man with a mess of brown hair opened the door. He was a little sweaty, and you prayed you were in assuming he had been working out. He leaned on the door frame and looked you up and down. “You’re the new farmer girl, aren’t you?” He said with a slight smirk. “I’m Alex.”

“Um…I’m Y/N. I thought I might introduce myself to everyone,” You said. This is certainly not who you expected to answer your knock.

“Uh-huh. My grandparents live here if you want to introduce yourself. Or you could come in, and we could do something else,” Alex’s smirk grew. You felt the blood rush to your face. “O-oh um, I actually just wanted to stop by really quick, but uh, it was nice to meet you, Alex,” You said with an awkward smile and quickly waved him goodbye as you walked away. You could hear his laughter as he closed the door. Stupid.

Well. That’s what I get for being outgoing, you thought to yourself bluntly. Maybe you would save the extra introductions for another day. You had more important tasks to attend to. You walked into the clinic, feeling your nerves begin to rise. Maru was sitting at the front desk, and lit up when she saw you. “Oh, hi Y/N! Here to get checked up?” She smiled. There was a playful glint behind her red glasses.

“Good morning, Maru. I figured it would be best if I’m going to continue working all day everyday at the farm,” You chuckled. Maru nodded and quickly gathered a stack of papers for you to fill out. As you silently completed them on the counter, Harvey walked into the front room, coffee in hand, whistling some tune. He smiled upon seeing you. “Oh, you’re here! I’m glad you decided to take my advice.” He was blushing slightly. The more you looked at him, the more you realized it wasn’t just the wine when you thought he was attractive at the saloon.

“I would feel bad if I ignored a fellow doctor,” You grinned, handing the clipboard back to Maru. This earned a laugh from Harvey. “Well, we can go ahead and get started with the checkup if you’d like,” He offered. You nodded. “You can follow me then.”

Harvey led you to a bright, sterile white exam room, not dissimilar to the exam rooms at the vet clinic you worked at in Zuzu City. You didn’t miss spending more than 50 hours a week in rooms like these. Harvey motioned for you to sit in a blue chair, and you obeyed. “When was the last time you went to the doctor?” Harvey went into exam mode immediately.

“Probably when I graduated vet school,” You giggled. “I was so busy at the vet clinic in Zuzu City I hardly had time for anything else.” Harvey smiled, thumbing over your paperwork. While he wasn’t looking, you tried to get a good look at him. You noticed gorgeous green eyes focused on the clipboard in his hands. How good he looked in a medical coat. Brown hair and a full, Tom Selleck-esque mustache. How he smelled of fresh coffee. Everything was adding up to perfection.

“I don’t blame you. I can’t imagine working somewhere like that,” He admitted. Briefly, you caught him glancing at your body. You quickly felt self-conscious but reminded yourself it was probably part of the procedure. “Alright, let’s begin. Just some routine things, you know. Temperature, blood pressure, pulse, lungs, etcetera,” He rattled off. “Okay,” You obliged while he removed the stethoscope from around his neck and placed the earpieces into his ears. You braced for his approach, blushing.

The bell of the stethoscope was cold against your chest. “How’s the farm coming along? It’s been years since I’ve seen it,” Harvey made small talk, occasionally moving the stethoscope to a different spot. “It’s taking some TLC, but it’s beautiful. I’ve always wanted to live on a property like it,” You admitted. “You like animals, doc?” You questioned. His answer was going to be important, it would make or break your total attraction for him.

“Sure I do. Just probably not to the extent you do,” He smirked, and you rolled your eyes. Not a bad answer. “I don’t think anyone could match me,” You giggled. “When everything is fixed up, you should come visit. Maybe I could sway you to join me in the animal health field,” You winked. You were being awfully frank, curious to see if he would be open to visiting Cinnamon Meadow sometime.

He nodded. “Of course, that sounds lovely,” His smile softened. “What does a guy like you do in your free time here?” You continued your effort to get to know him.

“Oh, well, uh. I visit the bar with Elliott sometimes. I like to go to the museum during the weekend and catch up on my reading,” He shrugged. You felt as though he was leaving out a hobby. You decided not to press any further when he gingerly picked up your hand to put two fingers on your wrist. You totally forgot that pulses were an important part of checkups. You blushed at the contact and felt your heart pick up at the new lack of proximity.

“Huh. Your pulse is a little high. Are you nervous by chance? I know it’s been a while since you last got checked up,” He looked up at you quizzically. You awkwardly smiled. “Yeah! Yeah, it’s been a while since I went to a doctor. Plus, the farm work really takes it out of ya,” You further embarrassed yourself with an awkward chuckle. His expression relaxed into a smile as he set your hand back on your lap. More blushing.

“I completely understand. Don’t work yourself too hard out there, huh? Especially in these coming hot months. Overheating is dangerous for someone like you doing labor,” He mentioned. Overheating might be a possibility for you right now. You nodded quickly. “Yeah, for sure,” You assuaged.

“Well, you seem okay to me. Did you have any questions?” Harvey put down his clipboard and looked up at you. You shook your head no. “Alright, I’ll have you schedule your next appointment with Maru up front then,” He smiled and opened the door for you. You were grateful this was over. He probably thinks you’re weird now, You internally face palmed as you smiled back and walked out towards Maru. “Thanks for making sure I’m not dying, Doc,” You attempted to save yourself any further embarrassment with a joke, earning you a chuckle. “Anytime,” He said, waving you goodbye and heading into his office.

You thanked god it was over, leaning on the front counter. Maru quickly had you schedule another appointment. “Alright, we’ll see you back here in three months then!” Maru smiled. You thanked her and quickly left. Three months? You repeated. Seems like too quick for another checkup…

~

Three days later, you had a barn. After just having finished tending to the small, green crops, you saw it in all its glory. Robin was admiring her work as you stared. You slowly approached her, still looking at the barn. “Robin, It’s perfect!” You cried, hugging her. She was shocked, laughing as she gave you a pat on the head. “You’re right, it is perfect. Let me know when it’s full of cows, okay? I would definitely appreciate being the first person to try some cheese,” She winked at you and you laughed.

“Of course! I’ve been dreaming of this day, thank you, thank you!” You let go and beamed at her. She simply smiled at you before packing up her tools and heading to the mountains. As soon as you saw her turn the corner, you basically sprinted to Marnie’s house to invest in five new Holstein heifers.

[wickedsrest-rp]

Name: Zane Rosario Species: Vampire Occupation: Nurse Age: 25 Years Old Played By: Hera Face Claim: Mason Gooding

"Love should be unconditional."

TW: Homophobia (mention)

From one wicked cult to another, Zane really seemed to have a penchant for joining large, dysfunctional families as he would still lovingly refer to them. Although The New Religion hadn't exactly been a cult. Zane had gotten used to the reading and re-reading of the prophesized end, only ever referred to in the pamphlets The New Religion aptly named the true scriptures, and even assumed the occasional sleep overs out in the fields waiting for the rapture were a part of regular, daily life. A life he would have happily lived out until the inevitable (but never quite predictable) end if not for the loose lips of a close friend. At 15, wondering about what was left of their future with his childhood friend and destined wife if the townspeople had any say, Zane had let it slip that he sometimes wondered if any of the other boys ever had… those kind of feelings for their fellow choir boys.

Without much explanation or goodbye, Zane was part of the adoption system now. He kept his good manners and bright outlook but the internet made its mark on the unyielding belief that the world would soon end. It also gave him an idea of why his parents and family in belief had left him to fend for himself, thrown between families for the next three years. Despite his best efforts to connect and bond, most of those who housed him had their own lives to live and preferred the pay out for housing him to actual conversation. So the search for a new family continued.

Community college was a bust when it came to making friends (15 years of communication within a gated community left something to be desired) and his distaste for alcohol didn’t much help. With money in scarce quantity and no clear path for the future in college - it was hard to wonder what you wanted to be when you grew up when there wouldn’t be a world to grow up into - Zane signed up for a new religious mission. Just because his old family had lied about… well, almost everything, that didn’t mean he couldn’t believe in something… right?

So Shining Light, a non-profit charity group of stragglers like himself, took him in as one of their own, travelling to poor areas and providing assistance where they could. Zane started out as a grunt, carrying supplies and cleaning up after the unofficial medics but slowly he climbed up the ranks to medic in training. Informal and no diploma awarded but he was helping and the people he travelled with almost felt like a family. A family that regularly changed members and deployed people to different stations but still. Until the big implosion of his makeshift family due to lack of funding, stranding him in a small town in Maine with no family and no mission. At least he somewhat knew what he wanted to do with his life moving forward.

It was at the ER, hour 15 of his 16 hour shift, when an older woman approached him. The fangs gleaming in her mouth could have been from delirium after running around all night but no. She was indeed a vampire. Their clan - their family - was in trouble and Zane seemed like the kind of person to help anyone, mortality status included. She was right. And so he did. Not to mention that a nice, caring vampire spat in the face of all the "devil creatures" talk he could regularly overhear at the hospital.

Alma, the unofficial leader of their somewhat democratic clan, offered a safe space to stay surrounded by people (vampires) who treated him kinder than anyone had before. It did feel wrong at first, stealing blood from the ER but the warm embrace of a family that had been together for decades, centuries even, welcoming him as one of their own… it was almost too good to be true. So what if the way to stay here was to let them technically kill him?

Character Facts:

Personality: Impressionable, optimistic, hard-working, caring, self prejudiced, codependent, romantic, loyal, stubborn

After years as an "unofficial medic", he's very good at improvising and thinking on his feet. General knowledge (and math) however is not something he particularly excels at. 

His social skills are still a bit lacking, except when it comes to patients, which he has a real knack for talking to. Provided they're not too attractive.

Spent all of his life alcohol free and really doesn't understand what all the fuzz is about.

Has an instagram account full of filtered pictures from various spots around town including interesting graffiti or weirdly dressed guy smoking cigarette. He will also troll someone's profile taking the utmost care not to leave an accidental like.

Almost definitely undiagnosed ADHD.

[mytrogblog]

54. #ThelmaPart2

Kuche broke the silence. Coming from the lap of her mistress and echoing the Trog’s command, Kuche’s ear-splitting bark was a direct hit on little ole Thelma. After collecting herself, she leaned in toward this yappy critter and said something soft yet chilling in Afrikaans. I swear the translation was something like, “Go ahead, make my day, you twat, twat, twat.” 

Kuche halted her bark and quivered. The Trog crossed her bulging eyes, folded her arms around her dog and pushed her chair back from Thelma. “Humph,” she scowled. I know it’s not funny, but… it was. Ya see, the Trog’s chair jiggled and needed fixing. And as she pushed back, it crumbled beneath her. Plop went both Borbala and the “twat.” 

Thelma knew how to make an exit and did. I stepped back as she rounded the kitchen corner. Get out of the way, Sally, I thought. Almost out of view, Thelma made a swift one-eighty and returned. Peering down at the flattened Trog she said, “Don’t ever tell me to shut up, again.” Then, stuck out her two middle fingers vigorously and sashayed to her room. 

Poor Waldo. Didn’t know what to do. He scrambled to pick up his employer, hefty as she was. But the Trog refused help and ordered him to get back to work. Me, I pivoted and scurried out the door for breakfast elsewhere.

And that was that. Or so I thought.

There’s only one food the Trog is opposed to… Brussels sprouts. Hates them. Both their smell and taste. You’d think someone with her nickname would be a Brussels lover. But not this Trog. Thelma, on the other hand, loved them. She grew up on them and they originate from her hometown of Brussels. They were her main course on her first few nights here. That was until she got an unwanted note shoved under her door. Thelma had shared the decree with me, “DO NOT COOK BRUSSEL SPROUTS IN MY KITCHEN. PU. IT IS CAUSE FOR EVICTION. BF”

The Nuthouse had been eerily calm all day after “the incident.” Maybe, it would just all go away, I thought. Midwest thinking. Hope springs eternal. I so wanted Thelma to stay. 

She was a breath of fresh and unusual air.

But about 3:45am that next morning I woke up to a rustling outside my balcony. It was unnerving… was Hugh back? Nahhh. An animal, maybe. Cleopatra wandering the grounds? HA! Grabbing my flashlight and bat for light and safety, I inched myself stealthily out until I reached the railing. Leaning over it, I saw two figures on the porch with big sacks over their shoulders. They didn’t see me. Dare I flash the light? Yup, I do dare. Ever so briefly, yet long enough to catch their drift. WHAT!?! It was Waldo and Thelma in black hoodies. WHAT were they doing? 

No longer frightened, I shined the light near them, but not on them. Waldo squatted and buried his head while Thelma stuck her neck out and signaled me to shush with her super finger. 

What else could I do but abide by Thelma, so I gave her a thumbs-up and killed the light. But it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to check out their nefarious activities. Sly as a fox, I snuck down the stairs so as not to awaken the obvious butt of this mischievous jig, the Trog. 

As I got to the bottom stair, I slightly teetered. Reaching down to see what was the cause… you guessed it, a smooshed Brussels sprout. I peeled it off my foot and dropped it on the floor. Pick it up later. The house was dark so it was hard to see. Shining my flashlight across the living room, I bravely followed the path all the way to the kitchen. They were everywhere. The Nuthouse was a field of baby green cabbage. 

I made my way to the front door, kicking the little round balls out of the way. Treading very lightly, I opened it without a speck of sound. The two tricksters were active in the front yard, throwing the Brussels on the lawn, in the trees and in the bushes. Oh, this was a sight to see. Again, I wanted to wake Doho to share another classic Nuthouse moment but couldn’t. Too much possible noise. Consequently, I just watched with glee, solo. Thelma noticed my presence and walked over to me. 

“Can I help?” I fervently whispered. “Oh no, I forbid it,” she denied me. “Don’t want you involved. Go back upstairs. We’re almost finished. Just need to toss a few sprouts in the pool.”She started to walk away, then came back. This seemed to be a habit of hers. “This is the last you’ll see of me or Waldo. And you never saw us tonight. Understood?,” she warned me. “Understood,” I saluted. So, I just stood there as Thelma placed a couple sprouts on top of each Gargoyle’s head, winked at me, then vanished into the night. 

[wordsbymae]

NO BECAUSE THIS MUST BE FATE!!! I SAW THAT VERY TIKTOK AND IT WAS A KINDA INSPIRATION FOR ME^^ Also thank you for the compliment, you too! You’re so overly detailed and you go these long essay rants, and I just get so excited because I know it’s gonna be good 🦋🦋🦋. But he’s very traditional and country. I can imagine him having strict parents. His dad was a big ole gun nut from a long line of deer/bear hunters  who were veterans (became one himself) and his mom a overly religious church woman, with a long line of family that either married men who positions in church or men who held positions themselves. She was Around marriageable age and her family was just waiting for a man to pick her up and marry her, and that’s what his dad just did. Saw her, followed her home, and in front of her demanded parents to hand her over to him. Eventually, they did since nobody step up to claim her and all men who were originally interested was never heard of again (he shot them all). Two Weeks Later she was legally and officially his. Nobody was concerned with the quick arrangement due to the recently spiked in missing young adult men, they never did find the cause 🤔. She was raised to be move in elegance and grace, she’s regard herself as prim and proper young woman. But for Clement (Clem to his wife) a man who grew up on the rougher and more dirtier side of town. A man who use to wrestle his brothers in the mud, in midnight sneak onto the fields of farms and flip over cows, race his father’s beat up truck on dirt roads, come home in the pinch of night covered in dry dirt head from toe, lost his virginity in a barn on some haystacks, never taught proper manners, his Sunday best (if he actually went to church) was a regular white shirt with dirt covered jeans and his failed attempt to slick back his hair, went skinny dipping, went to house parties held in the woods, use to work in a pork processing factory, was never given a curfew, education and learning wasn’t his strong suite, jump off cliffs into big lakes; she was stuck up, up tight and prissy young lady. Usually for a guy like, he wouldn’t even be able to look at a gal like her, hell if he hadn’t seen her when he did, but a couple moments down. He would had to shot her then fiancé in their wedding just to claim her for himself, for a crazy obsess and possessive man like himself that very thinking is his root to all his insomnia and paranoia. She on the other hand grew up in different circumstances than him. She was the middle daughter of two sisters, parent by a housewife and the pastor. The societal standards and norms were forced upon her from a very young age. She was homeschooled, never had a curfew because she wasn’t allowed out, was only allowed friends of her parents choosing (they were only chose by the highest status and closest relationship to the church), if being a housewife wasn’t her parents first choice she would have been attended a community college for medicine or a trade school.Very isolated and restricted home life.She would not have liked him for first time meeting.He was everything her mother told her not to want and look for in a man.He was a dirty, vulgar, gambling, drinking, poor, perverted man. But as he shoved down everything about him down her throat,she eventually come to love him.So obviously they wouldn’t get along at first. He wanted to break her, to be like “haha a prissy girl like you have to be stuck under man a like me 😜”,she even tho obviously wanted to be anywhere else besides near him, she still performed her housewife duties diligently which he liked.When she has a her very big O caused by him,her whole world tips over. She would feel like a common dirty whore. And to crush her, he would degrade her as he’s doing it. whispering raspy degradation as she comes down from her high. It was hard to hate him when he use to her eat her out like his life depended on it. Would embarrass her by refusing her a shower first after a long day of working at home, by his word “would stripe away the flavor”.There’s more, but hoped you liked :DDD

Awwww thank you!!!! Sometimes I rush through cause I don't have a lotta time to be online so I feel bad leaving you hanging or giving you less than what you gave me. Also, you have the best ideas and thoughts that sometimes I sit there and have no idea what to write because what you did was perfect and just so good!! I get so excited when I see you too and I reread them like 5 times.

How can you do this to me autumn!!!! Now I'm horny for another feral country boy. I blame you wholeheartedly. Man, I thought Joseph was the love of my life but now you bring Clement into this??? Have you no mercy?? I legit nearly fainted reading about this man.

Hehe, I have a bit of a thing for men in uniform, can you imagine Leroy in uniform??? I think he would still have his fatigues somewhere stashed away and probably would bring them out to role-play with Bunny (Once again I am projecting).

But Clement and his wife!!!!! AHHHHH

I can see her family waiting for the best suitor to come around if anything they were hoping for the sheriff's boy. But would have prefered it if another preacher come to town.

I think it would be cool if it was the first he's been to town since he got out of the military. Maybe he wasn't from that town originally and just picked it cause they needed a hunter or something like that. And he's driving through town when he sees the prettiest girl he's ever seen. He practically slams on the brakes and puts the car in reverse to follow her from a distance. He then banged on the door and asked to speak to her father. From there he states his claim. Although it didn't help that he didn't know her name and took like 5 minutes for her father to figure out which daughter he was talking about. And yes!!!! Her parents wanted to say no but no one else came forward and they couldn't let her become an old maid so they have to say yes I loved that he was just scarring/picking off all the other men who were trying to get her hand. and yeah the town is so concerned with the missing men that no one cares the preacher's daughter is marrying a veteran who lives in the middle of the woods that no one knew two weeks ago.

She is kinda mad but she was raised to be a good wife so there's not much she can do. She was expecting to be a sheriff's or a preacher's wife so she was taught to act elegantly and with grace. However, she is watching with thinly veiled disgust at her new husband's wild ways. She doesn't swear, take the lord's name in vain, lie or boast, she is a good preacher's daughter and she will make an even better wife.

"A man who use to wrestle his brothers in the mud, in midnight sneak onto the fields of farms and flip over cows, race his father’s beat up truck on dirt roads, come home in the pinch of night covered in dry dirt head to toe, lost his virginity in a barn on some haystacks, never taught proper manners, his Sunday best (if he actually went to church) was a regular white shirt with dirt covered jeans and his failed attempt to slick back his hair, went skinny dipping, went to house parties held in the woods, use to work in a pork processing factory, was never given a curfew, education and learning wasn’t his strong suite, jump off cliffs into big lakes" ------ This is an amazing description! I love that I instantly know who he is and I love it!

He would think she was such a frigid bitch, he loves her don't get me wrong, he's obsessed with her, but almost to the point where he hates that he does. She represents everything he never got, all the meals his mama had to skip, all the clothes his papa couldn't afford to repair, and all the years being squished under the fancy people's boots. She might not be rich but her family never had to starve and a part of him resents that he loves a woman like her. So different to him. People would turn their noses at him if he had ever dreamed of marrying a woman like her, let alone touching her. I love the idea that if he had missed that initial first look, he would have had to forcibly take her, shoot her soon-to-be husband and just run away with her. If you like country/folk music you should listen to charlie boy by benjamin Dakota rogers, as soon as I read that, the song came to me, it is literally that storyline, also john came home, and I was planning on writing a fic around it.

The sad thing about this reader is she is used to being oppressed so what is marriage if it not for the same thing. It would be a bit sad, and since I love happy endings, I think it would be so cute if clem could see she dreamed of being a nurse when she was a kid so he enrols her in an all-women's nursing school. She would be so happy! Every day clem takes her to school on his way to work and picks her up on the way back. He would let her study anatomy on him, and he was more than happy to help with reproduction study ;) But I see this only happening after maybe a year or so when they both have opened up their hearts to each other.

The start though is her being disgusted with him and trying to hide that, but he makes it hard to hide it when he sculls a beer and then another one during the wedding dinner. He pinches her bottom and slaps it in front of his friends. He whispers in her ear that she is going to have open her legs for a poor, filthy labourer like him and that it is her job as a wife to pleasure him no matter how he wants it. You are so right! I think he would be mean, calling her filthy things in bed to get a rise out of her (but I think she would like it, unlike Alwyn's reader, this one never wanted a sheltered life, she wanted to rebel from her parents, rebel from being a perfect woman, so him calling her these things allows her to rebel in a way, to destroy the perfect life her parents had planned).

Please tell me more !!! I loved it!!!!

Lots of love mae xx

[sangyeonsofthours]

the boyz as hogwarts students; hyung line

☾ this is purely based on my own knowledge about harry potter, the hogwarts universe and what thoughts and impressions i may have about the boyz members. It is also and slightly based on kevin’s answers to a fan and a friend’s impression on the boyz that also knows a lot about harry potter;

☾ maybe there’s things that are not really canon on the hogwarts universe, but i think i could have some artistic license for my own au, right?

☾ you can read 98 line here and maknae line here!

☾ thank you all for reading my stuff, i hope you’ll like it! please, do not forget to give me some feedback ♡

SANGYEON

house: hufflepuff patronus: eagle blood status: half blood pet: eagle owl best subjects: transfiguration and charms worst subject: potions

Sangyeon is the Head Boy of his house;

Was elected to be prefect for his house when he got to the fifth year;

He’s clever and responsible, got good grades and is an exemplary student;

He’s also hard-working and super good at leading;

Always takes care of the younger ones and anyone who needs his help, to be honest;

He’s pretty good at quidditch, he’s a chaser!!!

Captain of Hufflepuff Quidditch team;

Has the potential to be Hogwarts Champion;

Girls and boys all over Hogwarts have a crush on him because he’s that kind of guy that is super funny and super cute but isn’t really aware of that;

Looks harmless but could actually hex the shit out of you anytime if it was needed;

His friends constantly make fun of him for anything (poor boy is that type of hyung who the younger ones won’t leave alone);

JACOB

house: gryffindor patronus: peregrine falcon blood status: muggle born pet: black and white bunny best subject: charms and transfiguration worst subject: arithmancy

This boy here is too pure to be real;

You could easily mistake him for a Hufflepuff;

His personality sometimes can come off as calm or quiet;

But he takes pride in being a Gryffindor and will do anything to protect his house and it’s students;

And his friends!!!!

Wanna find him? Check out the library. He’ll be there tutoring first-years;

Or maybe he could be helping Madam Pomfrey in the infirmary;

Or any professor, for thar matter;

He’s probably one of McGonagall’s favorites students;

Will end up having a brilliant career in the wizarding world, probably at the ministry.

YOUNGHOON

house: hufflepuff patronus: chow chow blood status: pure blood pet: pygmy puff best subjects: charms and astronomy worst subject: ancient studies

Even though he's a pure blood, he’s super cute and loves getting to know anything about muggle borns and muggle things;

He’s part veela… so he obviously has girls (and boys) swooning over him all the time;

Could get away with anything because of this, but he doesn’t because he’s too pure to do anything wrong;

Has the most undying loyalty to his friends;

The elves at Hogwarts kitchen totally love him! He doesn’t need to steal food because they give it to Younghoon soooo gladly;

The true embodiment of ‘he protects, but he also attacks’;

Seems tough for a Hufflepuff, but because of his soft nature he does have the tendency to cry a lot depending on the situation. He needs to be protected sometimes. Hyunjae is always there to dry his tears tho;

He’s too clumsy to be around animals and plants for too much time, even tho herbology and care of magical creatures aren’t his worst subject;

Look too soft, but if there's a problem he'll confront it and take action needed - always with good intentions, of course.

HYUNJAE

house: slytherin patronus: raven blood status: pure blood pet: snowy owl best subject: defense against the dark arts worst subject: divination

Uses magic for everything;

Is a natural in pretty much every field of magic, probably due the fact that he grew up around so much magic, being son of a long lineage of pure bloods;

He doesn’t give a damn about the pure blood shit though;

Still, he’s kinda annoying… too cocky for everyone’s liking;

Well, he’s a slytherin, after all;

But I can guarantee you, he’s super funny and a sweetheart to the ones who knows him better;

Enjoys quidditch but doesn't play for his house;

He freaking aces at defense against the dark arts. Enough to be an auror, maybe;

Flirts a lot, but doesn’t really have a girlfriend/boyfriend;

n/a: thanks for reading until here! it won't take me too long to post the next part, bc it is already written, i promise! please, feel free to send me messages/asks about the boyz as hogwarts students ♡

[asmo-baby5]

Burned

Request: @seerachii-art

Description: Mc had gotten very used to the Devildom and would wander around by themself now. They had pacts with the seven highest ranking demons right after the Prince himself and they were close friends with the angels, the powerful sorcerer, and Barbatos and Diavolo themselves. They never accounted for a lower ranking demon wanting to attack them for these relationships.

CW: mentions of burns, slight gore (not a lot)

Lucifer-

•he had gone out looking for Mc after they never showed up for dinner.

•he was very pissed that they went out alone, but he assumed if they really needed help they would call or use their pact to summon him.

•he walked through the Devildom with a very calm demeanor.

•of course, that was right up until he actually saw them.

•Mc was sitting outside of RAD with Barbatos hovering over them like a worried mother.

•"Mc, it is past time for dinner. What are you doing still at..."

•his voice faded out as Mc looked up at him.

•they were holding a damp towel over half their face and tears were flowing freely out of their open eye.

•his normal calm demeanor gave way to an eerie calm.

•"what happened?"

•his voice was low and made Mc flinch away from him.

•they looked so pathetic...

•Barbatos tried to explain what happened but he looked straight at Mc, waiting for their recount of events.

•"he was saying, saying bad things about you." They somehow got out through all the crying.

•lucifer was starting to fill in the blanks himself, but he still needed to assess the damage in order to decide what punishment would befit a lower demon who dared to harm this human.

•Barbatos helped Mc to gently pull the towel away from their face and show Lucifer the large burn covering over their eye.

•the cold towel had stopped the skin from pulling away from their face more than it already had.

•needless to say that calm demeanor quickly turned into burning hot (no pun intended) anger.

•with the help of Barbatos, who had just so happened to be leaving RAD at the time Mc was attacked, Lucifer was able to get them home.

•he offered, more than once, to fly back but they refused so he settled on just carrying them back.

•every fiber of his being wanted to go after the demon that harmed Mc, but he knew he had to get them home and settled before he could even think about leaving their side again.

•Mc refused any magical treatment, so Lucifer took them back to the human world for medical treatment.

•they ended up with a scar over the eye they had unfortunately lost sight in.

•everytime Lucifer saw that scar he'd get very irritated and would be stuck to Mc's side up until he physically could not have them with him for work.

•would pass them onto Simeon so he could keep an eye on them because he didn't trust any of his brothers to keep them completely out of harms way.

•the demon who hurt them was currently (and for the next few centuries) being used as a chew toy for Cerberus.

Mammon-

•rarely let's Mc out of his sight,

•so when they somehow manage to give him the slip one day he starts to freak out, rightfully so.

•not only that but his pact mark was starting to heat up, that only happened when Mc was in trouble.

•he retraces their steps from that day hoping to find Mc at one of the places they had visited.

•he smells them before he actually sees them.

•a mix of tears, sweat, and burnt flesh drew him towards a corner just outside of RAD.

•Mc was holding a sopping wet cloth up to their cheek and was wiping at the tears falling down their face with their free hand.

•every so often they would grimace as they moved the cloth around.

•Mammon was frozen in place looking at his human crying and shaking.

•he could practically feel their pain and their fear.

•he snapped out of it when he caught a glimpse of what was under the cloth.

•"Mc, who the hell burned ya?"

•he tried to keep calm, but let's be honest, being calm when the one person he loved above others was hurt was not exactly easy.

•"who. Burned. You?" His tone dropped to a threatening low growl.

•when Mc flinched at his tone he did calm down a bit though.

•he had to take care of them first before looking for revenge.

•when Mc explained that they were cornered by two lower demons and then lightly burned before they ran away, Mammon had to literally fight to keep from growling.

•it was bad enough for Mc to be attacked, but to be cornered by two demons was the most cowardly thing he had ever heard.

•when he checked the burn his heart clenched.

•there was a good chunk of flesh missing from their cheek.

•he flew them home and tried to convince them to get it magically treated so it wouldn't take as long and there'd be no scar, but Mc refused.

•he didnt leave their side after that incident.

•if you thought Mammon was possessive before, just wait until you see him now.

•he sleeps in Mc's room

•walks with them to school

•constantly texts them when in separate classes

•and goes with them wherever after school

•he doesn't trust anyone else with Mc's wellbeing.

•seeing the scar on their cheek ups his protectiveness and he will follow them around like a puppy.

Levi-

•he knew something was wrong when Mc never showed up for the new episode of an anime they were watching together.

•he was immediately anxious but tried to reason that maybe they were just caught up doing homework or maybe getting snacks and Beel cornered them for the food etc etc.

•yeah, his reasoning quickly turned into overthinking.

•he was about to go looking for them when suddenly he felt a pit in his stomach.

•he could just feel that something in the House of Lamentation was wrong.

•he opened his door only to be met with panicked shouts from floor to floor and the sound of running footsteps.

•like he thought, something was wrong.

•"Leviathan!"

•angry Lucifer shouts were coming from downstairs, so thats where he headed to see what was so wrong.

•he stopped in his tracks though as the view of Mc curled into a ball on Mammon's lap with a towel over their face entered his field of vision.

•he was supposed to be looking after them and the pit in his stomach only grew as he watched Mammon make very small and soft movements with Mc, something he never did ever.

•"Mc...?"

•Levi's voice was small as he got closer and could finally smell it,

•the burnt flesh on Mc's face being held together by the cold towel.

•he almost gagged, and would have if Lucifer didn't suddenly grab his shoulder pulling his senses away from the smell and sight. 

•"where were you!?"

•is all Lucifer had to ask for Levi to realize that Mc got hurt,

•they got hurt on his watch,

•he couldn't protect them.

•"I- I'm ok, okay." Mc had stuttered out, the pain made it hard to string words together

•it took a moment for Levi to compose himself, and even when he did outwardly he was an utter MESS inside.

•do-dont lie, Mc..." he slowly made his way over to them, but kept his distance from them.

•they got hurt because he wasn't competent enough,

•there was no way he could let himself ever indulge in their presence after this.

•he would of course take revenge against whoever dared to hurt Mc,

•but when they reached out and gently held onto Levi's hand, their's still trembling,

•he finally decided that being with them was the only place he wanted to be.

•as much as he wanted to absolutely decimate whoever hurt them, Mc needed him there more,

•and his Henry always came first.

•besides, he was fairly certain Lucifer was already making preparations to take care of the demon.

Satan-

•he was out with Mc looking for some new books from a bookstore that just opened.

•the two got separated for barely two minutes,

•but it was more than enough time for a group of demons to walk over and taunt them.

•Mc's already poor relationship with the other demons in the Devildom had recently got worse.

•its not like Satan didn't know this,

•he was hyper aware of the fact Mc was being targeted more often by lower demons for petty jabs.

•that's why losing them in a new store caused anxiety to creep into his body and sit like a rock in the pit of his stomach.

•Mc had expressed their fear of these demons (cowards, as Satan kindly referred to them) trying something more than jabs,

•so he felt very protective over them since then, wanting them to feel safe when they were with him.

•But safe was the exact opposite of what they were now.

•Satan quickly found Mc, but he also witnessed one demon slap them,

•hard.

•hard enough that they left a burnt handprint scarred onto Mc's cheek.

•Satan could barely process what had happened.

•before he knew it his vision had gone red and he could feel a low growl coming from deep in his gut.

•he was about to go after the demons who did this but Mc stopped him with a whimper that immediately brought him back.

•he wasn't really the most calm all the time,

•but in a crisis he was the best demon to go to because he could keep a surprisingly cool head.

•once his temper had cooled down enough for him to stop clenching both his jaw and his fists, he set to work caring for them.

•As he took the time to properly dress the wound the human way, Mc explained to him what happened.

•the group apparently confronted them about Satan's reputation.

•he was once known as the cruelest and scariest demon right after Lucifer,

•but apparently rumors had started to spread that he had become soft.

•many demons blamed Mc for this change because they had a pact with him and Satan was most definitely not known for having pacts with anyone.

•as he listened to this his anger started to spike again, but he pushed it back down enough to swiftly carry the Mc home.

•he didnt want to have to rely on Lucifer for anything, but only he could come and go between the human world and the Devildom,

•and Mc needed burn treatment in an environment that would promote healing for humans.

•once he knew Mc was being well taken care of though, he finally let his anger rise and bubble at the surface.

•he got a pretty good look at the demons who hurt Mc, and Satan NEVER forgot a face.

•once the Mc had come back, the scar left by the demon made Satan's rage come back anew every time.

•he even requested that Asmo try any and all facials and treatments that could get rid of scars.

•and as for the group of demons?

•well,

•let's just say,

•you should never make the Avatar of Wrath your enemy...

Asmo-

•he and Mc were on a date.

•clothes shopping, tea, sweets, spa, and hairdresser.

•everything was going great,

•Asmo was having the most perfect time being with Mc for so long without his brothers interfering.

•that is, up until their hair appointment.

•the two were separated for a bit because they each needed different treatments done to their hair.

•Asmo didn't think much of it.

•he had taken Mc to this particular hairdresser many times already, so he never thought anything bad could possibly happen to them.

•he was proven wrong when a scream came from the other side of the building,

•the area where Mc was.

•Asmo shot up out of his chair and practically teleported to where they were.

•what he saw made this normally pretty calm demon's blood boil.

•one of the workers was bowing and apologizing repeatedly as Mc looked at them dazedly.

•but what really got to him was the intern hiding behind a corner, laughing.

•"so this is funny, is it?"

•he had snuck up behind them and asked, his voice unusually low.

•"this particular human is under the complete protection of Lord Diavolo, would you like to explain to him why there is now a burn covering half their face?"

•the intern paled at that and shook their head.

•"I would not think so. Now explain to me how this happened."

•the intern explained that they dipped the cloth that goes on Mc's face in scalding hot water.

•they knew Mc was a human and they wanted to test their limits,

•but they adamantly maintained that they never intentionally harmed Mc.

•Asmo was furious, especially because this happened in a place where he was only a few feet away.

•but he did give up on grilling the intern, deciding he'd give their name over to Diavolo and Lucifer later, in favor of comforting Mc.

•they were coming out of their daze but that meant the pain was starting to set in.

•Asmo was able to carry them out of the shop and quickly home before they could scream again,

•or cry.

•he would definitely go on a rampage if Mc started crying and killing a demon in broad daylight was not a good look for his cute image.

•he informed Lucifer what happened and trusted he would then take it to Diavolo.

•Asmo carried Mc to his room and set them in his low hanging seat so he could tend to their burn.

•thankfully it wasnt bad enough to be cause for major concern,

•but it was bad enough that Asmo was worried about some scarring.

•he was able to clean the skin around the burn and then apply a few different treatments to lessen the scarring process.

•he promised to use all kinds of facials on Mc, once they were feeling up to it, so the scars would heal quickly.

•once Mc was taken care of, he couldn't even think of leaving their side,

•so he opted to lie down on his bed with them.

•Mc fell asleep rather quickly, the trauma making them exhausted.

•Asmo couldn't fall asleep for a while though as he spent time blaming himself for the injury.

•he would never, ever, forget this day...

Beel-

•he was out to eat with Mc as usual.

•there was an all you can eat buffet that had just opened up and Beel was all willing to pay for both of their meals if Mc went with him.

•of course they did.

•it is way too hard to say no to Beel.

•while he was on his fifth plate of food, Mc wandered of to the bathroom for a small break.

•they accidentally ran into a group of demons on the way there and got into a small altercation.

•they started badgering Mc and complaining about how the nicest demon brother was no longer able nor willing to hang out with them because he'd rather be with Mc.

•it was a small, petty, argument that unfortunately ended up in a small burn that ate through the first and second layer of skin on Mc's cheek.

•the demon that did it freaked out because they knew humans were weak by my god they're way too weak!

•the group ran away, out of the restaurant, leaving Mc staring wide eyed at the floor, the pain from their cheek slowly starting to register.

•they walked calmly back to the table to grab Beel.

•"B-Beel, Beel, we need to, to leave." They had stuttered out.

•the pain was making it hard to form sentences.

•"Mc, I can get a free meal if I finish this..."

•Beel's sentence had faded off as he finally looked up.

•Mc's eyes were glazed over from the pain and blood was dripping down from the pretty sizeable hole in their cheek.

•the big demon was up and out of the restaurant in no time, carrying Mc with him.

•he didnt really know what to do in the moment but he did know Mc needed help, fast.

•he went to Solomon first because his magic is the first thing Beel's panicked mind landed on.

•Solomon immediately went to work cleaning and bandaging the wound.

•because of his medicinal herbs, he had learned a fair amount of human medicine and knew how to care for a burn.

•Beel refused to leave their side, only doing so when Solomon convinced him to call Lucifer and inform him of what happened.

•After Solomon had taken care of the burn, he talked Beel into letting Mc stay at Purgatory Hall for a few days so that the rowdy demon brothers wouldn't interfere with their healing.

•Beel was over every day, almost every hour, to check up on them.

•once the burn had healed a fair amount, Solomon was able to use his magic to prevent any scarring.

•Beel 100% blamed himself for the injury, he felt he had once again failed to protect an important part of his family.

•it took a lot of convincing from Mc and Belphie for him to stop blaming himself so much.

•he was never focused on revenge against the demons that did this as his full focus was on Mc and their recovery,

•Lucky for him, Solomon and Lucifer weren't as focused on Mc..

Belphie-

•he never really left the house and he wasn't super overprotective of Mc like the other brothers were.

•he knew their strength but also knew that if they needed him they would call for him.

•so when the pact mark he had with Mc started to heat up and quickly started to burn, he knew that was them calling for him.

•they needed his help and he was more than willing to give it.

•he left the house in a hurry as the mark started to burn more and more.

•despite trusting Mc to pretty much take care of themself,

•he couldn't deny the worry and concern rapidly growing.

•the pact mark between a human and their demon is supposed to connect them and one is supposed to be able to find the other through this mark

•but Belphie was new to pacts with humans and he wasn't quite sure how to use it to find Mc.

•this did not help his concern as he realized they could literally be anywhere in the Devildom.

•he decided to just go to all their favorite places to see if he could find them.

•he eventually found them pacing right outside the planetarium.

•it was their place, the two of them, so he mentally slapped himself for not checking there sooner.

•"Mc, whats going on?"

•he walked over to them but they turned away from him.

•he froze as one of the worst smells ever finally reached his nose.

•it was awful.

•"Mc, what happened?" He tried to reach out and grab their shoulder but he stopped when he noticed them trembling.

•"Uh, um, its nothing, nothing bad."

•their voice was trembling just as much as their body and Belphie had finally reached his limit.

•he spun them around and was about to say something but he froze.

•Mc was crying while holding their jacket over one half of their face.

•Belphie grabbed the hand that was holding the jacket and gently pried it away from their face.

•Mc grimaced with every movement and Belphie swore under his breath, hating that he was hurting them.

•once the jacket was fully gone his sleepy eyes widened and any left over drowsiness from earlier was completely gone.

•there was a large burn over their eye and the skin around it was pulling away.

•he realized that's where the smell was coming from.

•"What happened?"

•he repeated his question from earlier but this time there was no way anyone could ignore his threateningly low voice.

•"N-nothing, seriously, Im taking care of it. And I, I called Solomon and he's on, on his way to help. I'm okay."

•Belphie felt his heart drop as Mc said this.

•either they didnt trust him enough to let him help or they didnt love him enough to tell him what happened.

•he really hated both of those options.

•"I'll stay here with you until he shows up then."

•he'd feel even more awful if he brought it up and made Mc feel guilty on top of their physical pain though.

•he sat with them silently for a few minutes until Solomon showed up.

•Solomon took them back to Purgatory Hall to clean and patch up the burn.

•Belphie went with and held their hand as Solomon had to get rough to fully clean it.

•he stayed with them the whole time, swearing to never leave their side again.

•once they finally fell asleep he took it on himself to go after whoever dared to touch, let alone harm his human.

•they would pay.

•he wasn't nearly as cruel, or strong, as some of his older brothers,

•but he sure knew how to hold a grudge.

•and that promise of never leaving their side could hold off a few more hours...

[absolutebl]

Hi friend

This isn't directly related to bl so feel free not to respond ( I'd love it if u do tho)

How in the world do u manage to find time to watch so many things and catch up each week. College has started and I also have work and I can't even finish watching one single show😔.

Been stuck on Dark Blue Kiss for more than a week now.

And you maintain such a detailed blog toooo!!!

I really do admire u🥺💞

Ah. Well I live the blessed life of someone who works very very hard with only one goal in mind.

Freedom from obligations.

Which is to say, I’m a workaholic who has chosen not to marry or procreate, and my parents are still relatively autonomous and independent. I’ve had at least a part time job of some kind or another since I was 12 (my parents are both laborers with strong work ethics) and I genuinely enjoy working. 

I feel no need to own expensive objects or large things, including a house or car. I don’t like or collect *stuff* of any kind and my living expenses are extremely low (being mostly vegetarian helps with that). I live rent controlled and the only things I really spend money on are eating out and travel. Most of the time I combo travel with a conference and manage to get someone to pay the flight portion as a business trip, and the rest becomes a business expense.

Instead I do crazy shit like save most (and invest some) of my money. I don’t buy anything on debt. Even when I was getting an education I did work study, and then took time in between my degrees to work in industries I hated but were lucrative in order to pay back my debt. I should say, that while I grew up poor I didn’t grow up below the poverty line, so I’ve never not had my basic needs met. And while I don’t have much family, I am very rich in friends, so I’ve always had a safety net, although now I kinda am the safety net. But I was never truly disadvantaged in life. 

I’ve built myself up as an expert freelancer in a very specific niched field that has to do with data analysis and has made me one of the few people able to do what I do. I can set my own hours and (basically) set my own price. It helps that I have the kind of brian that likes statistics, numbers, and data a whole lot. It also helps that I can apply that brain to my own finances, business, and lifestyle without feeling constrained. I’m always turning down jobs and putting projects on the back burner because I’m already committed. 

But I’m my own boss which means that I can work when, how, and where I want to. Live frugally and take off time when I feel like it with no obligation or guilt. 

It also means I can structure my day around BL, and type happily away at this dumb blog because if, later, for any reason I have to work spreadsheets or a keynote until 2 am, that’s fine too. 

It works really well for me and my personality, but it does require a lot of self discipline, so I know it’s not for everyone. But I can recommend the lifestyle. I get to be one of those things most other people I know struggle with: content. 

I guess that’s my secret. 

Happiness is a crap shoot, mostly transient and erratic, but contentment is an achievable goal. 

Aim for autonomy and contentment. 

Then you can watch all the BL you want whenever you want to. 

Oh.. yeah. I also watch a lot of shows at 1.25-1.5x speed. And can crunch numbers and run regressions etc.. while I watch. So. There’s that too. 

[neverfalling]

The arrival of Alice and Beck into her life in quick succession brought on more remnants of her former life, most notably the same ferocious nightmares that grew common as she entered her twenties. She was twenty and running uncontrolled down a hill with frozen bare, bloody feet, twenty three and terrified of nameless shape she couldn’t quite place, screaming Beck’s name uselessly at her back until her voice was hoarse, twenty five and drowning over and over again as she tried to convince herself it was just a dream. It was the lattermost that found her shaking and drenched in sweat as she slowly rubbed her eyes with her fingertips. A long time passed since she last considered herself to have someone to talk to when she awoke like this, abrupt and afraid, and so she sat still and listened to the thick silence that blanketed her dark house. 

Evangeline tapped the phone on her nightstand and the glow of the screen illuminated her bedroom so brightly she winced before peeking at the screen with eyes nearly squeezed closed. Half past four and she had an early shift at Rosemary’s in a few hours, which meant she had a choice between a restless few more hours of sleep or a quiet morning spent in a haze of exhaustion. Familiarity pushed her to the second, and so after clumsily dressing and stumbling over a pair of boots as she tried to find them, she headed outside.

Magic still came with the same sense of dread that it had since her mid-twenties, but in the little bit of time she’d spent with her younger sister, pieces of it began to hurt less. The evening Alice pulled her from the fire, she explained a spell their mother taught her when she was young, a spell she repeated now wordlessly. Tiny beads of golden light formed in her hand as rainwater might, and as they gathered, she pulled them towards her fingertips and finally into a bubble that drifted soundlessly near her shoulder, radiant and warm and its creation absent of the heavy guilt that usually seized her with the use of any magic outside the elemental.

Perhaps the only reason she never really loathed the feeling of the earth at her fingertips was because its presence existed as a baseline in her thoughts, a thrum of energy below her feet or a low resonance that hummed in her bones when she entered a building made of stone. The lighthouse, despite the poor circumstances of her stay there, practically sang to her. These lone walks before dawn allowed her to grow accustomed to the sorts of rhythms present in the remote area surrounding her house. Mostly raccoons or little voles, their movements tiny and perhaps undetectable to a witch of lesser skill, though occasionally she also picked up the careful pattern of a deer’s light feet as it picked through the field on the periphery of her senses. There was none of that now, none of that but the unfamiliar footfalls of something trying not to be noticed.

Muscle memory took over, though she so rarely found herself in this position when she hunted, not with Beck’s keen eye and the ease with which she kept the greatest of dangers out of Evangeline’s immediate vicinity. The blonde witch continued to walk, her magic now deep within the earth. They were nearer now, steadily closing the distance. She worked best at a distance where she could control an outcome using a combination of spellwork and earth magic; the nearer they drew, the more her chances dropped, particularly while without a hunter to keep a threat occupied.

The sunny bubble of light winked out of existence, and the second darkness closed around her, the witch raised a great spine of earth from the dirt and rock where she last felt the presence of the apparent intruder, and she was rewarded with a distant grunt and the reverberation of contact through her feet. Light helped, yes, but the skill of finding a landbound enemy was hard-won through ages of practice, giving her something of an advantage if her opponent required it to find her. Finding her target in the dark came to her as though she’d never stopped.  Years spent idle dulled her reflexes, however–one hit wasn’t enough, and even as she blindly raced towards the house again, her pursuer once again drew close enough to strike. Now keen to her tactics, her hits were fewer and glancing until a blow that clipped the side of her head dazed her and a sweep behind her legs sent her to the ground with a violence that knocked the air from her lungs. 

This feels targeted, she thought bitterly, but before she could tug that thread any further, another crack to her temple caused pain to explode from the spot and sent stars careening across her vision, quickly followed by heavy nothingness.

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"

Word count: 11,6K

Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.

Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.

A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

(Y/N)'s point of view

Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.

I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.

My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.

My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.

It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.

After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.

Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.

Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.

Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.

Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.

However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.

You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.

For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.

Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes

Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No

Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes

Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.

And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.

Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.

We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.

We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.

We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.

- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.

- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."

I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.

- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.

- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"

- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.

- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"

- "I won't! I promise!"

- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.

- "That's not really my gold."

- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."

- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.

- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.

- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"

I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.

- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.

- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"

There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.

- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."

- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.

- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.

- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.

- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."

- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.

- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."

I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.

- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out

- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.

- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."

- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.

- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"

- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"

- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.

- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.

- "I think I better go home."

- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."

I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.

- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."

- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.

- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.

- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."

- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.

- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."

Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.

Spencer's point of view

I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.

The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.

My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.

It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.

I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.

That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.

When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.

Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.

I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.

- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.

- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.

- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.

- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."

- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.

- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."

- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."

- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.

- "This! You need some Amy in your life."

And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.

My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.

- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"

- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."

- "It's four in the morning."

- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."

- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"

- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"

A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.

- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"

- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"

- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.

- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"

- "Yes, I did."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.

- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."

Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.

- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?

- "What?"

- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"

- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.

- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."

- "Are you ok, JJ?"

- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."

- "How was she?"

- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."

- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."

- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.

What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.

I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.

That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.

What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.

No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.

And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.

My nemesis.

- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."

- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.

- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."

- "Very, sir."

- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.

- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.

- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."

Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?

- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.

- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.

- "Don't ask."

- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.

- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."

As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.

- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.

- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.

I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.

- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.

- "She is?"

- "As a consultant."- he assured me.

- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.

- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.

- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.

- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.

- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.

- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.

- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.

- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.

- "Hotch was on that team, too."

- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.

I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.

- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.

- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.

- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.

- "You got it."

But I disagreed with that.

- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.

- "Yeah, I'm ok."

- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."

But everything was far from being ok.

I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.

- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.

-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.

- "And you, doctor?"

- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.

- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.

- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."

- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."

- "So? You need to keep one there."

- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."

- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."

- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"

- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."

Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.

It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.

I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.

But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.

- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.

- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.

- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.

- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.

- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.

- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."

- "Right. Sure. Of course."

Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.

- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."

Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.

- "You just seem to be so close."

- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."

- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.

- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.

- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.

- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."

- "Yes, you mentioned it"

I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.

- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.

- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.

- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.

- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.

- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."

I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.

Spencer's point of view

I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.

Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).

Why did I care so much?

I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).

But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.

- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."

- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.

We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.

Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.

Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.

- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.

- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.

- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.

- "I know that, too."

- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.

- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."

And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.

- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."

The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.

- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.

- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."

My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.

- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.

- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.

- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.

- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."

- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."

- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."

(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.

David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.

- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.

I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.

- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.

- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.

- "Don't worry, next time."

I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.

I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.

- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.

- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.

- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.

- "Great, pizza?"

- "Pizza sounds good."

We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.

- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"

- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.

- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"

I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.

- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.

I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.

- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.

- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.

- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."

- "Yeah, of course."

Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.

- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."

- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."

- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."

- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.

- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?

- "Really? But..."

- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.

- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."

- "Yes, very."

- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."

- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.

- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.

- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.

- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."

- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."

- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."

Why did I say all that? I had no idea.

- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.

- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.

- "Sorry."

- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."

After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.

I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.

I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.

I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.

I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.

How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.

- "I miss u"

(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them

- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"

- "See you at seven-thirty."

I typed and sent it.

What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.

At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.

Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.

- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.

- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"

- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."

- "I'm glad you are fully rested."

- "What did you do yesterday?"

- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."

- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."

- "Really?"

- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."

We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.

I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.

- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.

- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."

- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"

- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"

- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.

- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.

- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"

- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."

- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.

- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."

- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.

- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.

- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.

- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."

I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.

- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."

- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.

- "That was Ashley."

- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"

- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.

- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.

- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."

- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"

- "If Hotch approves..."

- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.

- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."

- "I don't like her, Spencer."

- "Yes, I know."

- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"

- "I know..."

- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."

I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.

The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.

- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.

- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."

I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.

- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."

- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."

- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.

- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.

- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"

- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.

- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.

- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."

- "I can't believe it!!"

- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."

- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."

- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."

- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.

- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.

- "Then why are you defending her?"

- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."

- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"

- "Right, other than that..."

I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."

- "Thank you."

- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."

- "You don't have to be her friend."

Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.

- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"

I actually didn't know what I was getting into.

Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.

Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.

- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"

Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.

- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.

Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.

Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."

I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.

- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.

- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."

- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."

I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.

- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.

- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."

- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.

I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.

I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.

How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?

–

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 16th, 2021

[redrobin-detective]

From a young age, Jack Fenton wanted a life of adventure and excitement. Working on his family’s quiet farm in the middle of nowhere never sat right with him. Late one night, he sees something he can’t explain in the woods which sparks a lifelong passion for the supernatural. He worked day and night at various odd jobs once he was old enough in order to save up money for school. Pa and him had a huge row when he saw how much money Jack had saved over the years. That money could’ve bought new equipment, could have put food in his sisters’ mouths. But Jack held fast, he loved his family but he needed to find his own way and he wouldn’t find it here. As soon as he got his acceptance letter for his college of choice, he left the farm and never looked back.

Rooming with Vlad Masters was a struggle at first but his roommate’s intense desire to prove Jack wrong about ghosts eventually sparked a friendly continuing argument which just became friendly in general. Jack was too loud, too enthusiastic for everyone else, almost always the biggest and broadest guy in the room. Jack first met Maddie during college orientation, or rather he met her bountiful bushy red hair 3 rows up that his eyes kept wandering to. He met her properly when they got into an intense discussion of the use of the supernatural in fiction during literature class. Girls had never registered for Jack before, always seemed less interesting than his research. But Maddie, she like a revelation in and of herself. They continued their debate after class, into the dining hall where Vlad somehow got roped in. They exchanged phone numbers and continued their theories long into the night. They never really stopped.

Maddie was like the campfires Pa used to make when he was young. She was small and contained but with an all-encompassing energy that warmed everyone around her. He finally met his match with her, her enthusiasm encouraged his and vice versa. Her mind thought differently from Jack but in a complementary way, he did his best thinking when she was there to bounce ideas off of. As close as he and Vlad were, sometimes the whole world disappeared when Maddie was around. Vlad proclaimed his desire to date Maddie on a couple of occasions, asking Jack to back him up. Jack never knew how to answer, it should be okay as long as the two of them were happy and he and Maddie could stay friends. But he couldn’t just ignore that chemistry he felt when Jack’s eyes met hers.

 Vlad’s accident occurred not long afterwards, he was stuck in the hospital and forced to drop out of school their last semester. The guilt ate away at Jack but Maddie made things better. He danced with her for their last college dance, kissed her for the first time as they threw their caps into the air for graduation. Being with her was like being whole for the first time in his life. When he got down on his knee and asked her to be his lab partner for life, it was the best thing he’d ever done. They had something of a shotgun wedding, neither of them had two nickels to rub together both coming from poor families and a load of student debt. Jack couldn’t afford to rent a suit so he wore his hazmat suit, figuring Mads would get a kick out of it. When she walked down the aisle with her lab goggles on, he knew he’d found the one.

They moved to Amity Park, a peaceful but still bustling suburb an hour outside Chicago. In their research, they’d discovered several anomalies in and around the area that suggested it was a hot bed of paranormal activity. They bought a house and worked on making it their own. Maddie initially hadn’t wanted children, wanting to focus more on their work. Jack, however, had come from a big family and had wanted kids even when he’d been a kid. Many long discussions and time to settle and soon they had a beautiful daughter. He asked to name her Jasmine. His mother had loved the smell and kept it around the house growing up, even years later, the scent calmed him. Looking at the precious girl in his arms, he knew that she would be his new home.

Danny had been a little bit of a surprise. Him and Mads were content with their chatty, precocious daughter. They hadn’t even discussed having a second when they found out she was pregnant several months in. She hadn’t been symptomatic, Maddie fretted the rest of the pregnancy, worried she’s inadvertently harmed their child by exposing herself to chemicals. But everything turned out alright, Danny was born just fine, if a solid pound smaller than Jasmine. While Jazzy had wailed and wailed, Danny was a quiet baby, instead choosing to look around with wide, curious eyes. When he gripped Jack’s finger and brought it into his little mouth, Jack was smitten.

He loved being a scientist, a husband, but Jack especially loved being a father. Maddie said he never quite grew out of being a kid and he agreed with her. The sound of his daughters delighted screams as he ran around the house with her on his shoulders. The beaming smile Danny gave when Jack held him up high so he could be closer to the night sky. He loved his work, an obsession he was more than willing to admit, but his heart truly lied with his family. Jack could have lived an eternity in those early days when his children looked up at him like he could do no wrong. Of course, it wouldn’t last. Children grew up, socialized and learned that ghost hunting wasn’t the cool, legitimate profession they’d believed. His kids loved them but there was a separation that hadn’t existed before, a disconnect of a passionate farm boy searching for the unknown to modern kids who didn’t understand what it meant to to crave understanding.

Maddie was the one who shopped the idea of working on the portal again. Jack had been skeptical at first, it had been his dream but after what happened with Vlad and with the kids still living in the house... But Vlad was fine now, on his way to being a millionaire the last Jack heard and his thirst for knowledge couldn’t be quenched. It took years to draw up the schematics and begin building. The process was slow, made slower by Maddie going back to school for her second degree in psychics, by losses of funding, taking shady government contracts to put food on the table. When he saw the sad, hungry looks on his kids’ faces when they had discount TV dinners, he finally understood his father’s anger over Jack selfishly hoarding money for college. But years of blood, sweat and tears saw the fruition of their dreams completed.

The portal hadn’t worked right away to his immense disappointment only to miraculous start up when him and Maddie weren’t looking. Danny started acting sick immediately after, enough to scare the hell out of Jack. Visions of Vlad’s ecto-scarred face and the sounds of him vomiting up blood and ectoplasm haunted him. Not his Danny, not his sweet boy. But Danny recovered and things seemingly went back to normal. They say hindsight is 20/20 but Jack will curse himself until the day he died for not seeing the signs until it was spelled out for him. He knew Maddie and him were unconventional but he tried to foster love and trust in their home. The idea that his son didn’t think he could come to them for the dramatic changes the portal had done to him, that he was scared of them. Jack wept heartily at the thought of how he’d failed, that he’d been the sort of prejudiced, uninterested father like his Pa had been.

So he’d gotten down on his knees, making himself smaller and less threatening to his boy - he was so tall now, when had that happened - and asked for another chance. Danny, always too kind for his own good, forgave them. He said it before Jack believed he meant it but it was the biggest relief he’d ever felt in his life to have the opportunity to make things right. It was hard, erasing decades of biases. To not jump when Danny acted a bit too ghostly, to not to correct him when his boy made some comment on ghosts that Jack disagreed with. But he listened and he learned and even though his heart was already fit to burst, he found more love in his heart for his son. His son, who carried a heavy burden with dignity and grown into twice the man Jack was when he hadn’t been looking. Jazz too was paving her own way forward with the same zeal and intelligence that Jack admired so in Maddie. 

His wife, his friend, his lab partner for life stood by his side as their children left home to change the world. When he was young, Jack dreamed of excitement, of never-ending exploration and fearsome battles. He got all of that, and more, but he also found something else. Jack found people who loved him for all his eccentricities, who he felt free to be as loud as silly as he desired. He raised two beautiful children who he loved more every day and who he knew loved in return. He wished he could tell his younger self that while excitement put hair on your chest, his Ma and Pa had been right in that family was something worth investing in. Jack Fenton made staggering advancements to the field of ectology over the years but his greatest accomplishment, should you ask him, would be living his best life with the woman of his dreams and their children.

[pokesplendor]

carmela’s team from my pokemon shield playthrough! not as happy with this bunch... info beneath the cut!

Graves - Inteleon - she/he - lesbian White - cis woman - age 30

Graves came from a very unconventional background prior to entering into the League circuit. Having raised since she was young by Interpol for undercover operations, she was there and experienced things a child shouldn’t for the sake of ‘justice.’ Who’s justice is really to question in this situation, as she never had a say. It’s only once she reached legal age did she take a ‘vacation’ and decide to try the league. That’s where she re-encountered Ella, who she had met on the job in the Champion’s guard. She uses her combat skills she gained from her rigorous upbringing, which you’d think would cause her to dominate the field, but that isn’t the case. She’s actually fairly bad at it. 

She has a bit of a problem interacting with others. She was trained in how to act natural, friendly, and unassuming, but she doesn’t know how to not act. What’s Graves’ personality? Well, she’s a crybaby whenever she’s alone. Little things upset her, her anxiety ramps up her paranoia, and she keeps it all saved beneath the surface until she’s alone and then she cries. Other than crying in her off time, she’s a voracious reader, and particularly likes poetry.

If Graves could ever be honest with herself, she’d admit she’s fallen for Ella quite hard. That bright ball of sunshine brought a smile to her face in a way she hadn’t experienced before. But she wasn’t able to voice her feelings, and Ella is now sadly taken. She’s also a poor leader, along with a poor battler, and she doesn’t garner much respect from her team. She’s often spoken over by Crusher.

Crusher - Sirfetch’d - she/her - lesbian White - cis woman - age 34

Crusher likes to think she’s a gallant, chivalrous knight that leaves women quaking with soaked undies are her arrival and her deep, rusty voice sends shivers up their spine when she announces herself, and she’d like to think that everyone wants her around, but she’s wrong. She butted her way into Graves’ team, seeing its lack of, well, many things, leadership, power, attractiveness… They obviously would benefit from her accompaniment. She didn’t care what they had to say, she was going to be on their team and they were going to worship her for what she brings to the table. She’d like to think she’s wanted, but honestly, not very much so.

As if it wasn’t evidence enough, Crusher is extremely up her own ass, overconfident, and unfortunately, with enough power to back up her words. She’s a demon on the field, knocking enemies out with a single sweep sometimes. She works out on the regular, and doesn’t wear armor to show off her many (sexy) battle scars. Otherwise, she’s into collecting antique tea sets and little glass kittens to display back home. Her house is full of them.

Crusher likes to think (man she likes to think a lot of things) that everyone on the team is slightly in love with her, when she is tolerated at best. Goliath likes her, but Goliath likes everyone. He spots for her when they’re working out together, and she respects him for his strength. She’s especially hard on Thrasher and Maverick for not pulling their weight until they evolved, citing them as a weakness.

Goliath - Grimmsnarl - he/they - gay Japanese - nonbinary - age 21

Goliath hails from the Glimmwood Tangle, from quite a large and loving family, but he got it in his head that he had to see the world beyond the forest clearing, he wanted to see where all the people braving its endless maze to reach the gym were about, he wanted to know! A regular yearning princess wishing to see what’s beyond her tower she’s been trapped in. And this is the family business Matilda had to leave her swamp for, bringing his ass home. She got there a little too late, however, already picked up by Graves’ group and registered into gym fights. He couldn’t leave! He made a promise to help! And look at his cool new friends.

When not spent daydreaming about adventures he could be having, he likes to keep in shape. His family home requires constant upkeep, lest the magical wood overgrows anything manmade within a few days. He likes to read, despite struggling with it due to his dyslexia, and he hopes to write his own book one day about what he’s experienced, he wants to have an adventure worth filling a book with. He’s a very positive lad, a happy one, who tries to share the happiness with those around him.

Goliath is still young, but he’s pretty sure about who he is as a person, he knows where he stands on morals, and her own identity as well. He’s chivalrous and kind, always trying to get the team to work together and get along. It has varying results. Grievous loves to mother him, and he likes to think he’s pals with Graves. Despite being younger, he tries to protect Thrasher and Maverick.

Blitz - Centiscorch - she/her - queer White - cis woman - age 33

Blitz, like Graves, was raised by Interpol for infiltration and undercover work. Unlike Graves, however, while the Inteleon was sanded down to being a weak, anxiety-ridden mess, it only strengthened Blitz’ nerves of steel, causing her to become cold and calculating. She only joined the League circuit because she had a mandated vacation following losing her leg from the knee down, and she didn’t want to get rusty on her skills. Not to mention she saw Graves attempting to lead and failing at it and thought she’d stick around to demean her for her lack of anything worthy of use for Interpol’s workings.

She doesn’t have many hobbies, she likes working out, staying fit, and occasionally cooking some ultra healthy superfood, but it’s not like cooking is her passion. She doesn’t understand why people think you need to have a life outside of your work, she’s perfectly happy to just always be on the job and do as it demands. She smokes, but only the occasional cigarette so as to not negatively affect her health. She’s a woman of few loves, few words, and she thinks that’s just fine.

Blitz scoffs when the team tries to have any sort of ‘get to know each other’ exercise. It’s never in good faith, and just ends in disaster so she tries to avoid it. Grevious tries to mother her on occasion, for whatever reason, she never had a mother and she doesn’t want one, so she doesn’t understand why her face gets flushed and hands get sweaty when the dragon’s around.

Maverick - Corviknight - she/her - lesbian White - trans woman - age 32

Maverick is a failed knight from olden times; she was sealed in a tomb in the slumbering weld with her previous king as a way to protect him in the next life, only to be revived by Graves and Ella exploring the area. Being awoken in modern times, she had a lot to learn and get used to, part of it being her king is no more. The body is gone, and the tomb ransacked. She failed, and this weighs heavy on her shoulders through the journey. She agreed to follow Graves, sensing a nobility to her, Ella already having Thomasin by her side while Graves had no one. She is skilled in battle, if not unsure of herself due to her failings during both in the past, and while she was asleep.

She holds herself to high standards, almost impossible for her to meet, but no one else. She does not expect others to keep up her strict training regime, it is for her alone to shoulder the burden of being known as a failure. Despite that statement, Crusher constantly challenges her, and they’re often sparring with one another. In her off time, she enjoys weaving and is learning the modern trades of ‘sewing’ and ‘crochet.’ She enjoys making clothes for herself and others.

Her strict lifestyle doesn’t give her many moments to herself or to consider her feelings for others. She dedicates herself to a cause and thinks of little else. However she enjoys Grevious’ company. She does notice the occasional stares from others, such as Thomasin from Ella’s team, and she wonders what it could mean. Does she resent her for not joining Ella? It seemed only fair at the time.

Grevious - Dragapult - she/her - bi Vietnamese - trans woman - age 45

The ghost of a test pilot that went down during a new dirigible’s trial run over Galar. Her body was never found, believed to be incinerated by the blast, and her spirit has hung on to the area as she never got a proper burial. Graves, hearing her plight, followed her to her remains, giving her the burial she deserved. Freed from her prison, she was free to pass on, but she denied doing so, she had to repay Graves for her service. And so, she was conscripted to the gym challenge, one she had seen many travelers pass by speaking of such a thing and she was always curious just what exactly it was. She had heard things of course, but nothing is better than first hand experience.

Grievous is a very noble person, but not too stuffy either. She loves a good joke, she loves puns, and she loves giving people a good fright with her ghostly status. It’s all in good fun, she’d never do anything malicious or something that would genuinely harm others! She loves to fly, she had always loved to fly, and dying didn’t exactly rob her of that love. Now she can do it without a plane! She spent so long as spirit, she kind of forgot what having hobbies is like, and she’s trying new things!

She’s a very motherly person, and, being the oldest of the group, feels very maternal towards all the young little ones around her. She’s particularly concerned for Graves and Blitz upon hearing around their upbringing. That’s no way to treat a child! She does her best to tend to the others of the group. Though she would be lying if she didn’t say that Crusher pushed her buttons more than once.

Thrasher - Obstagoon - they/them - lesbian Black - transmasc nonbinary - age 24

Thrasher comes from a foster home full of wayward kids who grew up on the downward spiral of life, and they themselves weren’t an exception. Originally from Spikemuth, they never knew their parents and their foster home travels were rough. No one seemed to want to keep them, and at one point they got sick of it and ran away from home. They ran and ran and never looked back, and found a job working in the professor’s lab in Postwick. They didn’t ask them where they were from, nor tried to contact anyone else, so it was good for them. They met Graves early into their gym circuit and decided to join her to perform some field work for the professor.

They’re quite down on themselves, never feeling like they’ll accomplish anything of worth. They couldn’t be a good child, they’re not a good battler, it took them a while to come into their own, and Crusher needling them constantly didn’t help. In their spare time, they play guitar and sing covers of existing songs. They don’t have a knack for writing, just another thing they fail at. It’s been a tough life, and they stumble along the way constantly trying to get to a better tomorrow.

Thrasher is a shy sort when it comes to their feelings, they haven’t been engendered into showing their vulnerable side to others. And Graves’ group isn’t exactly what you’d call family. But it’s a nice change of pace and they almost feel… wanted. And Grevious is a nice addition to their life. To have such a motherly person doting on them is, well, a dream come true.