#they got space ships but their fashion sense has remained constant for a few hundred years

[stcrmhund]

VERSE AESTHETICS - one man cannot summon the future

[seriouslyhooked]

This Love of Mine (The CS Mixtape) Part 168/?

Series of CS oneshots inspired by music. Collection on FF Here.

A/N: Hey everyone, not sure if this is technically cannon divergent because it has been so long since I’ve watched season 3, but I feel like we didn’t get an exact scene where Killian got the message about finding Emma in New York. Then I was listening to this song the other day and I felt like it was a great one to write that scene to. Don’t worry though, there’s also a flash forward where Captain Swan has long since been reunited and it’s just full on fluff. This drabble goes with ‘This Love of Mine’ by Frank Sinatra. Anyway, thanks for reading and hope you all enjoy!

Staring off into the distance beyond the confines of the Jolly, Killian felt an all too familiar sensation that something was missing. Something that he needed, an essence that had unknowingly revived a central part of him was gone, and he was left here aimless and unmoored as a ship without a port or an anchor or a path to sail.

The missing piece, of course was obvious. There was an infuriatingly alluring and all together too remarkable woman a world away from him who had done this to his heart. Emma Swan, with all her walls and all her guards in place, had snuck past his own defenses. She’d forced light into a world he had purposely kept dark and all that warmth and energy and vibrancy she’d shared with him was tantalizing. He was starved for that kind of connection, and then, because he deserved nothing even close to the magic that was Emma, it had all been forced away again. A curse had come, a story had ended, and here he remained, back in the darkness of before but blinded by the fleeting chances he had had with Emma and changed forever because of it.

“There’s not a day that will go by where I won’t think of you,” he’d told her, and Gods above how true that had been. But it was her response that haunted him most, and the look in her eyes when they’d departed that kept him awake in the wee hours of the morning even now.

“Good.”

One simple word, one blip in the hundreds of years of his life had shaken every foundation, for there was so much more in that agreement than what appeared at the surface. Suddenly he felt that there truly might have been an opportunity to seek something out with Emma. He could feel her trust, and he could also feel her sadness, a sadness he’d give anything the realms over to have spared her. Somehow his motivations for everything had shifted of late, and suddenly the one drive that trumped all others was the one that sought Emma’s happiness over everything else.

“But she is happy,” Killian whispered aloud to the empty space along the deck where he resided. “Regina said they would be.”

And though Killian and the Queen had a history together, one that hardly stood the test of truthfulness, Killian knew she was honest this time. She would never have risked Henry’s chance to be happy, even if it meant that Regina herself would never move on from the memories they shared. What the Queen lacked in decency to the rest of the world, she made up for with her son, and no matter what anyone said, her love for the lad was a constant and an assurance that somewhere, realms away from here, Emma and Henry were okay.

He on the other hand, was far from well, and since drinking himself into a stupor hadn’t worked (mostly because there always seemed to be this niggling voice in the back of his mind asking whether Emma would approve that kept him from going too far), he was resigned now to taking another path. This path was a quieter, lonelier one than even he was used to, but it was the only thing he wanted. The old thrills of a portside town held nothing for him now, just as banditry and piracy had lost their lush appeal. Only the sea provided any kind of solace, and so tonight he’d set his whole crew off ship, even the typical watchers and guards, to have some time alone. It wasn’t a cure by any means though, for the ghost of Emma lingered still, as prevalent and prominent as the waves lapping along the ship’s wooden sides.

“Get a hold of yourself, Killian. You have to let it go… I have to let it go,” he said into the night, knowing it would make no difference. He’d tried a thousand times before but there was no wishing this away. The memories lingered, the prickling sense of regret remained, but where others in Emma’s life might have preached for hope, he had none. This was what he deserved after everything he’d done. All the bad he’d partaken in, all the mistakes he had made, earned him this pain, this loss of love when he’d never dreamed a second change possible in the first place.

In that moment of despair a soft coo sounded above and Killian looked out on the water to see a white dove. A strange creature for these parts, but what was stranger was the attachment to it’s leg. There was a note there, and a parcel of some kind. It was all very odd, and then, just like that, his whole world changed as he unfurled the piece of paper and found the meaning of this sudden appearance. The message it contained was written in haste but the intent could not have been clearer and the most important words rang over and over in Killian’s mind.

Find Emma. Make her remember. Bring her home.

Only a few seconds passed where Killian debated what he should do and it wasn’t because of any lack of want to see her. No, if it were up to him, he’d have moved in an instant, but there was one small thought for what he would be ruining if he did go. Chances were Emma would have to sacrifice for what was to come. To save her family, to save all of the people of Storybrooke, she’d likely have to do as she’d always done – she’d have to give up what was easy and take the harder road, and if he could he’d keep that from happening. He would spare Emma, but in the end there was no choice. She was needed, and he… well he was the man so desperate to see her again that it almost didn’t matter if it was the right thing to do. He’d do whatever it took to see her again, and so he did, comforting himself with the simple fact that though Emma might be giving up everything, he was giving it all up too to give her a chance, and to maybe grant the two of them one at the same time if somehow – someway – things did work out as he wished in the end.

………

“Killian?” 

The question came from beside where he was standing at the Jolly’s edge and Killian focused back on the present moment, glad for the fact that the voice of his companion was none other than Emma herself. Years had passed, their world had radically shifted, and now the trials they’d faced before seemed long gone. That slip into the darkness of before was just that, a trick of the mind, and here before him instead of sorrow there was a light he’d never imagined possible back when he was a villain and a pirate and nothing more.

Turning back around he found exactly what he expected, his Swan looking every bit a vision as her loose curls danced about in the wind, and in her arms their three year old daughter – their little Hope – with wide eyes of excitement trained on him and clearly filled with appreciation for this vessel and their time at sea. His daughter was on track for filling her father’s shoes as a sailor, but with Emma as a mother, and the goodness their life in Storybrooke now had in abundance, he didn’t worry for her future. Their little lass would live a happy life, safe and surrounded by a family who loved her and protected her from any harms the worlds over.

“Aye, love?” he asked, ready and willing to yield to any wish his wife might mention right now.

“Your little lieutenant has a special request this evening,” Emma said before deferring to Hope who reached out for him, smiling and looking so like her mother as she did.

“Is that so?” Killian asked with a chuckle, taking Hope in his arms and placing her on his hip with a casual nature that told how commonplace this had become for all of them.

“Let’s go fast, Daddy!” Hope said excitedly, prompting a laugh from both Killian and his lovely wife. The two of them shared a look, acknowledging that they’d take the Jolly for a swifter jaunt than usual, but nowhere near as fast as she could go during times of need. This kind of excursion could only be taken because there was no real danger in sight, but neither Killian nor Emma would ever put their daughter at undue risk for any reason.

“If that’s what my princess wishes, it’s what she’ll have,” Killian replied jovially, pressing a kiss to Hope’s temple before setting her down with Emma and going about procuring the happiness of the two most important people in his life.

Later that night, after a speedy sail around the harbor, a dinner under the stars, and putting their little lass to bed, the memory of that previous life still lingered with him, and in typical fashion his Swan knew right away. So when they’d said goodnight to Hope, and left her room hand in hand, Emma stopped him for a moment, checking in and reminding Killian that she was there for him just as he was there for her.

“Everything all right?” Emma asked and Killian could only pull her in for a kiss, one still as searing and passionate as all they’d shared before. There was no ebb in the spark between them, and when they pulled back, his wife’s face had flushed a perfect shade of pink that his hook brushed ever so gently.

“Everything is nearly perfect, Swan.”

“Only nearly, huh?” She asked with a smirk as her eyes flicked down to his lips and her hand ran over his chest. That was it – he was lost to her just as he always seemed to be, and Killian was happy to be as such, because being lost in Emma was exactly the kind of happily ever after his long weary heart had always needed. It was, for lack of a better turn of phrase, perfection itself.

“Aye, but not to worry, love, I’ve every intention of seeing we reach that completely perfect state before the night is through,” he whispered before sweeping his lovely wife into his arms, pulling a muffled laugh from her as he carried her back to bed and delivered on that insinuated promise over and over again.

………….

This love of mine goes on and on Though life is empty since you have gone You're always on my mind, though out of sight It's lonesome through the day But oh, the night I cry my heart out, it's bound to break Since nothing matters, let it break I ask the sun and the moon, the stars that shine What's to become of it, this love of mine

I ask the sun and the moon, the stars that shine What's to become of it, this love of mine This love of mine

Post-Note: So hopefully you guys enjoyed this little bit of fluff! Sorry if I’ve just been so stupid as to forget an already lovely scene about Killian getting the message, but I figure it never hurts to reimagine things right? After all, there’s so many ways CS could have gotten to a happy ending, and half the fun is crafting out those ways. Anyway thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day and that you’re all enjoying the holiday season!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167

[nothingneverforever]

Passengers (2016)

For every typecast lead, say Hugh Grant as the squinty spluttering English romantic or Cameron Diaz as the slightly detached but nonetheless sweet and alluring babe, there is also many a flick starring Jennifer Lawrence, as her annoyingass self, playing an annoyingass character. In so many moments of this film did her annoyingass off-screen nature shine through, only to reveal the many chinks in the screenplay’s armour in not crafting whole or believable enough a character.

I tried to search through Jade and my conversation to find what we had discussed when we first caught it early this January (hey Jadey, doesn’t it feel like years ago? Time flies </3), but I only found this selfie taken at her house before we left for the cinema on the day, and it’s cute, hehe, I remember being unhappy at how gray my skin looked but I’m glad I kept it anyway, and wtf my eyebrow piercing was so good >(

ANYWAY back to the point

Jennifer Lawrence

Is fucking annoying and stupid and possesses insultingly meagre acting skills

^ this scene reeked especially strongly of her usual flavour that we have seen in every single movie she has somehow still managed to land. Flavour as in crappy acting 101 – her furrowed brows contrived, her dead eyes widened in mock confusion, every quirk just adding up to an underwhelming, feigned, blah nothing

That being said, and also assuming everyone is on the same foot with understanding how unacceptably unjustifiable Jim Preston’s behaviour was, this film rocks. This is entirely me being an immoral hypocrite though – as Bill Graham writes succinctly for The Film Stage,

Jim Preston is a creep. There’s no getting around the fact that his actions are detrimental to one’s perception of the character and the film as a whole. The ultimate success — or failure — of Passengers will hinge on how offended one is by the premise, and whether the story ultimately makes up for it. What is on screen is absolutely gorgeous, albeit hollow because the production design is so far ahead of the two leads — Chris Pratt as Jim Preston and Jennifer Lawrence as Aurora Lane — and their chemistry.

And so my appreciation of the film and ability to be successfully moved by it is indeed absolutely hinged on my being able to excuse the inexcusable and swallow the unswalloable. Graham is right on every mark, especially that the production value was worth a hundred times what the lameass leads were able to carry off. I hate to say it but Pratt and Lawrence are both so clearly lacking in calibre as individuals that together they only amplify the on-screen empty vessel’s deafening silence; what should have been ruminative and desolate was heavy-handed and weightless.

So: does the story make up for it?

My main gripe is with the screenplay. In a setting so cold and foreign, what audiences should have to hold on to is a very familiar humanness, some form of everyday relatability, and this is sorely lacking. Jim and Aurora say dumbass things that further distance our reality from theirs, setting the entire film back.

^ “well I’m not ready to give up” , says Aurora, after having been awake for a whole entire day, to Jim who has been awake and trying for a mere year. Lame.

^ fuck, this was worse than I remembered. Already the first time Jade and I almost got obliterated by how offensively crappy a line it was, but today as I rewatched it it brought me to unchartered lands of grossness.  How is it someone can intend to give a seemingly generous compliment while making it entirely about themselves? You kill me? Fuck, how is that an important sentiment to express at all? “Hey, look at what your beauty does to me! Because it’s all about me, and I appreciate you[r face] because I am so slayed by it!”

The idea of the colony the film presents is somehow never as romantic as it aspires to be, whether because it is too explicitly a selfish venture or because like Aurora points out, the commercial nature of it is too obvious, but still it reminds me of my favourite Crosby Stills Nash & Young song, Our House. I think at one point Jim says, while telling Aurora why he decided to leave earth, “I could build a house. Live in it.” Sad, nice, cute, etc. Our House too possesses an insidious never-to-be-achieved yearning under its beautifully content floral bouquet. And while I hate to make Jim and Aurora the poster couple for all that Our House offers, their story does fit the bill –

Come to me now and rest your head for just five minutes, everything is good Such a cozy room, the windows are illuminated by the Sunshine through them, fiery gems for you, only for you Our house is a very, very, very fine house with two cats in the yard Life used to be so hard Now everything is easy 'cause of you

Sob this song is so niceeeeeeee :’ ( And again later when his tether has broken and he’s on the brink of floating-in-space-forever-with-no-oxygen death, he says “I wish we’d met in 90 years, I would’ve built you a house”,  my mind immediately follows up with with two cats in the yard…

I guess one thing I really liked was Aurora’s reaction to the grand reveal of Jim’s selfish action, that at least felt realistic and I guess important to have before the romantic storyline normalised it and had us believing that maybe it was okay after all. This is the problem with any kind of romantic/sexual conquest, you see. It’s all inherently self-seeking and built on ideas we have of people that means there will be inevitable disappointment on either end before long. Also was it wrong that I enjoyed watching Aurora powerfully bash Jim up in his sleep? What is justifiable and what is not? Am I in any place to judge? Somewhere along the way I grew to enjoy one-on-one violence and I don’t know if this is alright? Anyway, Aurora doing her daily workout round the vessel and shouting at Jim to shut the fuck up was a nice scene too. Like… seriously…. Shut the fuck up.

^ I remember Jade and I warmed a lot to her from this moment onward, and it felt almost cathartically necessary. You know what I mean? Like suddenly everything had meaning – not just in terms of point-plot structure of the film as a production but every action of Jim’s, of Aurora’s, and served as explanation to why their romance of before felt so hollow. And so the catharsis was not just to cleanse the audience’s guilt at just almost buying into their love before this point, but for both characters to reflect on everything they had been before too – Aurora as a writer full of ego and promise and dreams, and Jim as the lost romantic he seems to remain.

And then, in predictable fashion, the film erases what progress was made here just a few scenes later. Aurora, in conversation with the android bartender aka Michael-Sheen-is-damn-cute, says this in response to his “Time heals all wounds”:

Ummmmmmm…… surely finding out that your romantic companion, who you thought gave meaning to your life that never before existed, had built your trust in him and the entire relationship by completely obscuring all truth would result in slightly more than a broken heart?  

But, okay, let me be generous and say that there was one moment of slightly effective screenplay and direction, where script and visuals came together to form possibly one of my favourite scenes. Aurora’s best friend (voiceover) speaks through a video:

I promise that I will think of you every day. When you wake up, I'll be gone, but just know that I will never forget you. You're my best friend. You were never happy here. I know. Nothing was ever enough for you. You know, you don't have to go. You could do whatever it is you have to do right here. But... Since you're going, here's my wish. I hope you finally find someone who fills your heart, and I hope you let him in. I hope you realize you don't have to do something amazing to be happy. You know, have fun, take chances. Okay. I love you, Aurora.

I knowwww, it’s cheap and unsubtle and has absolutely nothing original or revolutionary or nuanced, but I’m lame and I love it :-)

^ Also I cried in both viewings of the film when Jim first went in his spacesuit into the open and when he cried, that was a nice scene, and reminded me of the first few lines of Daft Punk’s Contact with the Apollo 17 audio. Very huge, everything in this world, people, skies, me. Somewhat related, the film’s scoring was really nice and effective I thought!

Oh also lmao Laurence Fishburne’s character experiencing  a hibernation pod failure just as the ship was showing visible signs of greater failure is the most cop-out dues ex machina ever, lame

^ this is fucking inappropriate – he’s been awake for what, 2 screen-minutes and it’s supposed to be natural for us to accept that he has already noticed Aurora’s  beauty or whatever it is that would make Jim’s position enviable? FuCK

Final thoughts cos I’m too lazy to continue properly: Sigh somehow seeing this again just brought back that loneliness that has otherwise been dormant for a while. Not just because of the 二人世界-type companionship that assaults our every senses with every scene, but I think because I’m remembering watching it with Jade, and realising how more often than not it pays to experience something with someone. I remember sitting with her and crying and commenting on the scariness of the scary scenes and the beauty of the beautiful scenes and the cosmic loneliness of the cosmically lonely scenes, and I now see how all of a sudden it has become so important for me to do things not-alone. I don’t want to say with people, because I don’t like that either, I think I am just in constant craving for a one companion to have and be with. When Aurora reflected in her travel log (presented via voiceover) that “for once in [her] life [she] didn’t feel alone”, I remembered that Saturday night a few weeks ago when I drove to Lower Pierce Reservoir alone near midnight and felt nothing but an overwhelmingly unenjoyable seclusion and how in that moment everyone who has been a big and small part of my recent reality came to my mind and how I wished any one of them were there with me. I sent a picture of the gazebo to Harshvir and told him that I was going to combust from general dissatisfaction and loneliness and then a week later as I waited in the nice cool morning air for a friend who didn’t turn up after 105 minutes I realised what is now fact:

I don’t know why I’m bringing this up, I think I’m thinking of Harhsvir because I remember speaking to him about Passengers over my usual channa masala and him being outraged that I was actually moved by it… Miss him! But yes the point is that I can’t do shit alone anymore. I don’t think this means that I would go to Jim’s extent and take things into my own hands by choosing to alter the fate of another, but…………would I? :-( Do we all have a bit of Jim in us?

So in conclusion this film is great and is bad and made me feel many feels and helped concretize some newfound learnings of my new self and I am happy to have the people that I do in my life right now because everyone adds so much on their own independently and occasionally together and my loneliness is easily quelled and I am glad that I have the gall to take steps even if it is difficult or rejection-ridden initially

And of course, everything about the technical failures of the vessel and the sheer unstoppable enormity of the universe and its natural powers is unspeakably scary. I don’t know the space genre in film well, but dare I say this was the most effective in presenting that idea of human arrogance in conquering what is beyond, and the dangers of this?

Good night world  :-)

^ me while watching Passengers with Jadey back in January, me while watching any movie with anyone ever, feeling content and comfortable and stable and warm and appreciative and blessed and in awe, except only a symbolic/metaphorical hug instead of a literal one because physical contact is not fun :~)

Umm also I think in the process of writing this rambly rubbish I have come to feel less averse to Jennifer Lawrence… So apologies for my extremely fiery hate at the beginning of this crappy review. But u gotta admit sometimes she’s really super gross………………..but not that gross. I guess :-)

Thanks for reading, love you all, bye!