#they gave up teaching her logic years ago lmao

[mayasaura]

Sincerely love how locked tomb fic has wholeass reinvented the kirk/spock t'hy'la/marriage bond for perfect lyctorhood.

'Parted from me but never parted, never and always touching and touched' is something that can be so 'one flesh one end' when you think about it

[youmarin]

"The Smile Has Left Your Eyes" rant.

*Spoilers below*

Gotta get it off my chest. Mostly bc I hurt for Kim Moo Young .

I read the series summary and I was like, "Mmm okaaay there's gonna be trauma here." To be honest I didn't think grandly of him during the first episodes. Actually I didn't know what to think of Kim Moo Young. A very goodlooking mf who's a loner. He grew in an orphanage after the incident and well he seemed to care for the nuns there but that was it. He didn't let anyone close or felt anything for anyone (the closest thing before things developed was that coworker of his but even they didn't appear too close to be called friends? idk).

Until he overheard that conversation between Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang, he didn't seem to do stuff that would make him go out of his way. He seemed to be looking to entertain himself even at the cost of other people's well being. That was because he normally was numb minded. He didn't understand people's behaviour, like for example, why people "had" to do things they didn't really want to do. So when he taunted Seung Ah (even though it must've been uncomfortable. I felt like that watching it), I thought, "He's being quite an asshole, but maybe that's his way to try and help her step up for herself?". Think about it, things are never as easy as just saying it. She thought she couldn't get herself out of that situation but Moo Young didn't see things like that. He saw things differently. And so he was like, "If you don't wanna do it then don't." Simple as that.

Seung Ah fell for Moo Young because of that. And I don't think she really loved him either. She was clinging to him to escape her own life, one that was mostly decided for her and that she didn't want. (Plus they've "known" each other for like 2 months. C'mon.)

Still at this point, Moo Youngs motivations regarding Seung Ah were obviously messed up. "I wanted to know what drives a rich girl.", the whole bunch of lies, working up people for the fun of it. I wasn't a fan. He really gave an uneasy feeling (and with that face too. I was like, "Damn he's so fine but something's really wrong with him. Can't say I like him but I don't unlike him" lmao). And all that game got two people killed (which of course he didn't plan on it to end like that, and it was her fiancé, speeding and being drunk off his ass that didn't even bother to press the breaks before they crashed. ). But feeling nothing over it? Something's up up there in his head.

Same with Lim Yu Ri. He keeps her from ending her life and she catches feelings (he collects broken girls and broken girls love him 💀). He learns she's on a tough spot with another girl who's extorting her. And he intervenes again and helps someone who's also clearly not in her right mind to commit murder. Moo Young stands and watches. And then goes and cleans it up. ( 🚩❗)

Seung-Ah's and Jeong Mi Yeon's death were not his doing. Directly. But he did stuff that lead to that end. And still, no remorse, no guilt. Nothing. Again, technically he didn't do it so why would he feel those? But well, any other person would, wouldn’t they?

It's understandable and logical for Jin Gook to be a worried brother and not want Jin Kang near him. Oh but wait! Jin Gook might know the guy! From way back when he was a little boy! He's aware of the great possibility that Moo Young might be actually the son of a criminal he accidentally shot to death more than twenty years ago. And that Jin Kang and Moo Young's pasts are linked. But Jin Gook is scared for Jin Kang and more scared for himself to face the past and burst the bubble he's been trying to keep for so long (though it's still eating him alive).

Unfortunately for him, Jin Kang falls in love with Moo Young and for her, Moo Young decides to try an be a good person and stop acting as he had been until then. With her help.

"Promise me you'll be a good person." "Then teach me."

And he starts getting curious again about the past he'd forgotten about thanks to (funny, huh) the car crash he was in with Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang. And what does Jin Gook decides to do? Stab. the. guy. A police officer. Oh and after calling Moo Young a murderer, a devil and everything he could come up with. Talking big when he had also killed someone (be it an accident, that the person was a murderer and that he might've ended up sentenced with death anyway, it doesn't take away that he killed someone).

And then everyone at the station being normal about it?? "Oh there was no report." Nobody investigated shit. Tak So Jung saw the footage and still did shit about it. But that also lead to Moo Young seeking the doctor (the doctor who let go an amnesic 7 year old boy from a hospital alone to who knows where with nobody to take care of him. Just relying on chance, "Maybe it'll be better". Like some sort of study subject.).

More questions were brought to Moo Young. The only thing the doctor could tell him was that his father fell to his death. But he knew that wasn't it because every time that the memory came he saw and heard a gun fired. So he goes to where they say his father died, finds his house (that scene when he's inside the house and the memories come back full force that he falls to the ground. Ok, kill me now that was so intense.) And he finds out that his girlfriend's brother is his father's killer. Now, how can he tell her that?

He goes back, he's angry, he has to know the rest. He breaks into Jin Gook and Jin Kang's house. Finds an old missing child poster with his picture in it. Then he reaches out for help with Jang Woo Sang's older sister (from the people he got tangled with in the beginning and that Jin Kang had stopped him from getting involved with again. And Jin Kang had told him that those people were capable of anything. Honestly didn't get that woman's deal. She was really a bitch who loved nobody and loved toying with people. Girl, get a life won't you. Mind your business.) He asks for a gun and breaks in again into their house. When Jin Gook arrives he sees Moo Young's shoes in the entryway. And he admits that he shot his father. Moo Young asks why and tells him he ruined his childhood and family. But was he really going to shoot him? I don't know. I really want to believe he wouldn’t shoot him. Because Jin Gook is important to Jin Kang. And I know he said a couple of times "You're just you to me." Which basically I translate to "The hell with your brother." (plus he stabbed him. I have resentment over that lol. Like, what was the reason?).

But I'm glad we didn't see that happen (for Moo Young. The grudge again 💀). Later he finds out that the story he had made around his drawing, the sole clue he was left with for a long time was actually not true. His dad, who he thought had in a moment searched for him, was not a police officer (that was Jin Gook, in fact), it was a murderer. A murderer who killed his mom and two others (when I heard about the other two people that's when I realized, "Ok those are Jin Kang's parents" and the idea that popped into my head when Tak So Jung told Jin Gook "If that's the boy you were searching they can't be together.", that Jin Kang and Moo Young were siblings, was wrong. But they scared me for a sec. with that. I was like, "Hell nah I love SIG but what's up with his dramas always having smthn (the age gaps in Café Minamdang and High School King of Savvy? Mostly the Minamdang one. Don't get me wrong I still loved the shows but there was that fact that eek! Aand now incest? Pls no. And thank GOD it wasn't. Phew 😬😅😂)

Continuing, Moo Young feels disgusted (for someone who barely felt anything now he feels this great love for Jin Kang and is so troubled with all the things he's found out, and the things still left for him to know) and that it now makes sense his way of being. The Dr. tells him his past and his father's doing have nothing to do with him and that he's an example of that.

"You're just you."

The "I love you" text. She knew he was in pain.

"Are you really ok with who I am?" "I want to be born again." 🥺💔

"To be born again you have to live in a warm house. A warm house smells like warm rice."

And when she got burnt and he was so worried and it brought another piece of the puzzle of his memory. He and Jin Kang had been together all along.

(Also that scene of them comparing their scars? I was not okay.💔) "They look like a map. And we followed that map to get here."

But he got it wrong and believed they were siblings (also bc of that lying bitch of Jang Woo Sang's sister. Honestly I didn't think he'd believe her. He always was so "Don't trust people, people are nothing." So clever, used to lie and play around like that that I thought he'll ask for proof or something. But that was how he remembered it and well the bitch hadn't lied to him until that point so oh well) and couldn't tell Jin Kang because he loved her. But not the way a brother loves a sister. And how could he tell her that yes, your dad is the same as mine, a murderer who killed our mom and two more people. And even when he found out that thankfully they were not siblings he still didn't want Jin Gook to tell her anything because still the truth wasn't much better. His father killed her parents.

And then Kim Moo Young commited murder trying to protect Jin Kang when he didn't have to.

"I killed someone when I felt human the most."

Jin Kang unable to believe it and breaking down saying he couldn’t have done it, that he couldn’t even stand seeing a bird or a fish hurt. Because she knew him better than anyone. He truly was sensitive.

How Moo Young hugged Jin Gook (See that? No need for hurting him more, man.) Left him a note. Signed with his real name. 💔

"When I met Jin Kang I was able to breathe again." 😭

And when she pointed a gun to her forehead his façade vanished.

"Go back."

"To where? You've been there from the start."

The fucking ending. She made him admit that he wanted to live right before that mf came in and shot her first, that being the last thing he saw, breaking his heart one last time before he was shot and died too.

How she didn't get to say "I love you" back. He only got to say it while he was dying and she just texted it to him. And it was probably the first time he remembered ever saying it to someone. Like when Jin Kang asked him if he had ever really liked someone and he said, "you."

How in the beginning he was the one who looked over and treasured Jing Kang but no one looked over him for so long until she came around again years later without remembering him and finally showed him love.

(And how it was her voice now that woke him up from the nightmare/memory.)

I hated that they always kept Jin Kang in the dark. Like, tell her something pls. Enlighten the woman too. She died and never got to know the mess that made Moo Young break up with her. She missed so much. Trying to protect her that much ended bad.

How different would've been things maybe if Moo Young also had had someone like Jin Kang did. (?)

If Jin Gook had told them everything!!! Instead of being so against them. Moo Young made mistakes but he then tried (and it really showed in his eyes how he instantly regretted it when Jin Gook treated him like that. Because he wasn't doing it for him, he was doing it for Jin Kang.). And Jin Gook was always like, "You can start afresh" (even though he always carried his grief and regret but still, he tried to believe that but apparently that didn't apply to Moo Young or wtf).

Loved, loved, loved the scene when they first slept together, how full of love and how they couldn't help their laughter because of how happy they were at that momemt. All the times she squished his face. So cute hahah. And when he carried her inside his house. How she helped him make his house a home. He didn't even have a single glass because, what was the need for those things? He's the only one who's ever there.

And that scene when he's looking at the night sky and cries and Jin Kang appears there. "How didn't I know? There are so many beautiful things in the world." And then the shot shows him lying there alone. I don't have a heart anymore, this show stepped on it and shattered it. 💔 It was so sad but such a beautiful scene.

When she told her smthn like, I hope you always have things like plants to water and food you have to eat before it spoils and that those stuff cling to you and all that. For him to keep living and enjoying the simple things. Things that in the end they didn't have the chance to live for. 🥺🥲

Other stuff that ended me:

"You planted love in her heart". "I don't believe it but I hope it's true."

"You protected her with your tiny body." "Now I feel proud of my big, ugly scar." (And this got me thinking how he protected her back then and then she did the same and took the bullet for him. But in the end both got burned and both were shot 💔💔💔)

And the songs "Lost", "Star". Loved them. And "Hidden Memory" (again, that whole scene).

Anyways, great name. I have puffy eyes thanks to this drama. The smile left me eyes.

I'll edit this if something else comes up in my head later but I had to write all these so I can process what I just finished watching yesterday evening.

[pinkpastels113]

hey :)) could you maybe do #57 from the '101 ways to say i love you with actions'-promts? only if you're up for it!!!

btw i LOVE your stories. thank you for sharing them <33

i had to dig for the list lmao it’s been a while since i’ve reblogged it. thank you for the kind words anon! they made my heart happy <33

101 ways to say i love you

57. Making sure that they aren't alone when you know they need someone.

Chloe hates to admit it, but she is afraid of the water. As in, can’t go to the aquarium, can’t wash her face without looking in the mirror or past her shoulder every few seconds, never shower with her eyes closed, kinda thing.

Naturally that means she can’t swim. Now obviously there were people who sought to teach her, her parents, her friends’ parents, heck even the little kid down the street from her hometown when he saw her standing at the edge of the community pool in her swimsuit one summer looking terrifyingly at the water, but that didn’t mean she took their advice, or help.

She almost drowned as a kid, at the beach. Her cousins had been responsible for taking care of her, but as boys are, they quickly grew bored and decided to paddle away on their own to splash each other with their makeshift water guns. Chloe being four had wanted to join them, only to trip on a bit of kelp on the bottom of the ocean floor and fell face-first in the water.

Twenty years later and she still could not forget the feeling of suffocation the experience brought her. She hated feeling like her lungs were compressed, filled to the brim of something that she can not cough enough out, like she can not take a full breath to sing, let alone call for aid of any kind.

The Bellas know this. Due to a game of truth of dare Chloe revealed her phobia, and everyone had been shocked but surprisingly understanding. Aubrey had been her lifeguard every time they went out on water excursions, making Chloe feel safe.

But now Aubrey is gone and Chloe is left on her own. Her heart rate had started to speed up minutes ago but Chloe hadn’t taken notice of the time seeing as how she was too busy starting at the large body of water that reflected back at her.

Logically she knows that she doesn’t have to go in. She has her sunblock, her book, her glasses and her towel, the perfect combination for an afternoon out sunbathing with a good story.

But, like she was still four years old, everybody is having fun in the pool, and she desired to join. Chloe blinks the dizziness that always accompanied her fear whenever she gave it too much thought out of her eyes and takes a deep breath, expanding her chest generously to let the oxygen in. Out. Repeat.

A figure swims up to the edge of the pool. Chloe feels something flutter in her stomach as she watches Beca climb up the ladder that is attached. They spread to the tips of her toes when her gaze lands on the inflatable circular tube that Beca clutches to her side. It’s pink with tropical palm trees and coconuts all over it and clashes horribly with the dark blue bikini that Beca awkwardly shifts against her body when she finally stops in front of Chloe.

“So- um. I found this inflatable that some kid probably left that I think you would like to… y’know. Come down with us.”

Beca looks shy at her invitation. She keeps on fidgeting with the straps on her shoulders like she needs something to do with her fingers. Her feet taps an undetectable rhythm against the heated scratchy tiles. The sun beats down on them and Chloe has never felt more warm.

God it’s been so long since Chloe recognized the excitement of trying something new, rather than the creeping goosebumps of drowning in the water. Even Aubrey hasn’t been able to elicit this reaction out of her despite being her longest friend. She has only ever encouraged Chloe to feel a sense of calm rather than the exhilaration of conquering her fear to accompany her friends.

Chloe takes a step forwards. It felt brave to take that step. Beca’s face seems to mirror Chloe’s sense of accomplishment. Her pride.

“You gotta stay with me though, Bec. I don’t know how to swim, and I need someone to make sure I am not alone so that I don’t fall under.”

Beca’s grip is gentle and reassuring on the guidance of Chloe’s arm. The first laps of the pool are cool on the descent of Chloe’s legs. She doesn’t let go.

“I will not leave your side when I know you need someone, Chloe.”

[dreamingofaizawa]

A Dragon’s Bride

Dragon Prince! Bakugo Katsuki x Fem! Fae Princess! Reader

Fanstasy AU

***18+ Fic***

If you are not 18 years old, you are not old enough to ride. Please exit the line and find another. Thank you and have a good day.

Warnings: Arranged marriage, smut, soft to rough sex, light fluff. Characters are aged up, Bakugo and reader are the same age.

Word Count: 4.7k

Author’s Note: So I had this idea after reading other fantasy AU fics, and I just really wanted a soft Bakugo. I know he’s an angry moody mf but idgaf aight? I didn’t wanna get super descriptive with the smut, just cause I wanted it to be more like ‘lovemaking’ than just sex, you feel me? Sorry if the pace is a little weird, I didn’t spend a whole lot of time on this lmao. Anyway, here’s dragon boi Bakubitch.

Enjoy the read~

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As the youngest daughter of the Fae King and Queen, you knew it was only a matter of time before you were put in an arranged marriage. Your eldest brother had taken his Fae wife and would ascend to the throne in due time, and your older sister had already been married off to the Elven Prince Shouto.

Despite knowing you’d need to marry for political ties, you hadn’t expected to be sent off quite so soon. Your 19th birthday had passed only a few days ago, and that was when the news was broken to you. You were to be married to the Dragon Prince Katsuki Bakugo, soon to be the Dragon King, for his parents had expressed their wish to step down as royals rather early for Dragons of their age. 

The journey was rather long, even as you flew with your guards in a beeline to the lands of the Dragons. Throughout the weeklong trip your nerves were building and the mild fear settled into your bones. The Dragon Prince was infamous for his temper and short fuse, his anger always taken out specifically on Izuku Midoriya, the Fairy Prince from his  childhood. Your kingdom had not tied itself with the Dragons in centuries, and this alliance meant the Fae’s history of stubborn seclusion and independence would begin to diminish. This was a mission you could not afford to fail.

The final night camping was the worst. Sleep seemed to fear you, and you tossed and turned, attempting to settle your nerves. But it was to no avail. The sky began to lighten into a dull gray, signaling the coming morning. The guard came to wake you up, and soon you were bathed and back in the sky. Not having slept was of no concern, you’d gone days without sleep before and were just fine.

By midday you’d reached the edge of the Dragon kingdom, and were landing in front of the mountain castle just before sundown. The castle was gorgeous on its own, the face of it being the only exposed piece of the structure with the rest of the castle buried inside the mountain itself. The entrance was large, a platform that no doubt acted as a landing pad for the royal Dragons. Warm light poured from the large arched doorway as the huge stone doors opened as you approached.

You were greeted by the King, Queen, and the Prince himself. You sank before them in a low curtsy, pitch black wings spread out and flattened to your sides in a display of reverence. The King and Queen themselves bowed their heads toward you as a sign of respect, and when the Prince looked away indifferently, the Queen forced the boy down into a bow by grabbing his head and shoving it down, leaving you shocked. 

You were of lower rank than he, so there was no reason for him to bow his head to you. Noticing your confused state, the Dragon Queen spoke. “Rank is of little concern here, child. My son must learn a grain of respect if he is to be King.” With a small smile, you nod in understanding, too afraid to speak. Your nerves were bound to come through in your voice, and you refused to show signs of weakness in front of Dragons powerful as they.

Tonight was one of rest, and there were rooms for your royal guards to rest for the night before they had to make the journey back to Fae land. The Queen insisted you call upon a maid should you need anything, and personally escorted you to your room. Once alone, you took the time to bathe. A warm indoor spring was not something you were used to. Waterfalls were the bathing pools of choice in the Fae kingdom, though the warm water was welcome after your long journey. Soon you were in a nightgown and fast asleep in a warm bed of furs.

The next morning a maid came to wake you, and you were dressed by several handmaidens. The gown you wore was simple. A soft grey, long and flowing, with the fabric bunched at your shoulders in a sleeveless style and a low-cut back to accommodate your wings. You were escorted to the dining room, and you took the time to memorize parts of the castle.

The table itself was shorter than you expected, with only three seats on the longer sides and the usual single seats on the ends, already occupied by the King and Queen. Prince Katsuki sat to his mother’s right, and you were led to sit on her left, directly across from him. For the first time, you got a good look at the boy. 

Unruly ash blonde hair framed his face, which was chiseled and defined. His deep red eyes seemed to burn and glow like embers, and you had to look away from the intensity of his gaze on you. Your eyes were drawn to the exposed skin of his arms and collarbones, the muscles rippling underneath. You’d be lying to say he wasn’t incredibly handsome.

Through breakfast the Queen asked about your kingdom and its customs, and personal questions on how you felt about this alliance. You gave simple answers, having been trained to respond to such questions. She then walked you through the day, explaining how you’d be spending a lot of time with Katsuki not only for today, but all the way up until the wedding, which was set to take place in six months. The Prince scoffed at the idea.

“Why the hell do I even need to marry her? Why can’t I go find someone I like? I’m sure she’d rather marry someone she likes.” The Queen let out a low growl that could only be from a Dragon, directed toward her son. Her voice boomed through the hall. “Hold your tongue, boy. This alliance is important to both our kingdoms. You’ll do well to remember that.” He went silent with a snarl. She then turned her attention to you with a soft smile, the harsh edge gone from her voice.

“My apologies, dear. He can be...difficult. I hope your union can teach him some humility as well as respect for others.” With a soft smile, you nod. “I understand, my Queen. I pray I am not a burden to the Prince.” She chuckles and shakes her head as if you’d said something extremely amusing. Breakfast was soon over and you were left to spend the day alone with Prince Katsuki.

It was a rather difficult day. The Prince refused to speak, only voicing any irritation or anger he had for something he’d noticed. You were mostly quiet, in fear of angering him and possibly spoiling the union. He didn’t address you at all, and most interaction was awkward, but that was to be expected. You didn’t know each other. The King and Queen left the kingdom on a trip that was to last up until the week of the wedding, leaving you alone in the castle with the prince.

The first few weeks were relatively the same, little conversation between you and the Prince, silent meals, him angrily grumbling about one thing or another. You began to wonder if this was how life was going to be with him. It’s been nearly four months now, and he only ever addressed you briefly when he commented on one thing or another, though he was less angry lately. Tonight you lay awake in bed, stressing over whether or not you’d end up ruining this alliance. 

Sleep refused to come, and you decided rolling around in bed would do you no good. Silently, you stepped out of your room and padded through the castle aimlessly. Eventually you ended up on a lone balcony at the face of the castle, far above the entrance and off to the side, jutting out from the cliffside. The chill of the night air made gooseflesh pebble your skin, but you welcomed it. It had been a while since you’d flown.

Wrapping your night robe tight around your body and stretching your wings, you stood on the railing and leaned back, falling into the open air and sailing into the night sky. You missed the wind rushing past your feathers, whipping through your hair. It was cold, but it made you feel free and light, away from the pressure of the marriage and alliance. Little did you know a pair of red eyes were watching you from a more hidden balcony.

____

You were absolutely beautiful to him. Katsuki watched as you floated on the air. Your dark feathers barely catch the warm light from the castle, giving them a slight glint as they ruffled and moved. He watched as you darted up into the clouds, pulling your wings in and spiraling up through the thick barriers, then falling back downward with your wings stretched out below you.

You were mesmerizing, and he hated how quickly he’d grown fond of you. At first he thought you were some stuck up princess, like the Elf Prince Shouto Todoroki. But he was proven wrong rather quickly. You were intelligent, your opinions sound and logical, the complete opposite of him. He was rash and emotional, and he knew it. He soon came to respect you, though he couldn’t figure out how to speak to you for the life of him. He was always more a man of action. Words were not his forte.

But as he watched you in the night sky, he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. He wanted to fly with you, to dance with you through the air. He wanted to touch you, your skin, your feathers, even your horns. He’d never seen a Fae before, only drawings from books. Though those images were put to shame next to you. Your grace seemed unmatched, even compared to his mother, who was just as rough around the edges as he was.

He’d be embarrassed to say he observed you more than he had intended to. The way you walked as if you were floating, how you held yourself around others. Your posture was regal, poised, and yet full of humility and compliance. You looked like you understood your place in this world, like you knew why you were supposed to marry a Dragon in an arranged marriage instead of being able to choose who you loved.

His thoughts drifted as he watched you, and he found himself wanting to fly with you more and more as time passed. Unlike you, he could sprout his wings whenever he wanted, and soon his large leathery wings were fully formed, ready to lift him from his perch. And that’s exactly what he did.

____

You were so distracted with the rushing wind you didn’t notice the figure approaching you until you felt the air whoosh behind you unnaturally. Swiftly, you turned, and found a pair of glowing red eyes focused on you. Both of you stayed there, flapping softly in the wind to keep steady. He was the first to break the silence.

“It’s a bit late for you to be flying, Princess.” His unusually soft tone of voice had heat rushing to your face. You sputtered out your response, partially from his words, partially from your nerves. “I, uh, I’m sorry, my Prince. I had no idea that…uhm… that I wasn’t allowed to fly this l-late.” A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest, clearly amused. ‘Cute’ he thought to himself. “I didn’t say that, Princess. Just that it was rather late for you to be awake.” More heat flooded your face at his teasing tone.

He tilts his head, indicating for you to follow him, and he flits away, landing on the balcony you’d leapt off of. You were close behind, and landed next to him as his wings vanished into his back. A large hand was extended toward you and you took it, a bit hesitant, as he’d never engaged this much contact before. His warm hand enveloped yours, and he pulled you alongside him through the castle.

You cleared your throat quietly to speak. “Apologies, my Prince, but where are we going?” A small smirk graced his lips as he turned to you. “It’s a surprise, Princess. But I promise you’ll like it.” You gave a small nod and allowed him to guide you through the halls of the castle. He led you deep into the mountain, down corridors you hadn’t explored before, and soon you were walking down uncarved tunnels lit only by torches every few feet.

After a few minutes in the tunnels, the torches came to an abrupt stop, and you began to feel uneasy with the looming darkness. As if sensing your hesitation, the Prince turned and squeezed your hand in his. “Don’t worry, I promise I’m not dragging you to the dungeon.” His voice was playful, something you’d never heard from him before. Despite the mild discomfort of the underground depths, you trusted him and let him pull you into the darkness.

Once your eyes had adjusted, a faint glow came from somewhere further inward. He kept walking, further and further down the tunnel, and the glow consistently strengthened until you were sure you’d find the source behind each turn you took. Then he stopped, and turned to look at you over his shoulder. “You ready, Princess?” You nodded almost excitedly, and he pulled you with him around the corner. The sight before you stole the breath from your lungs.

The source of the cool glow was a gigantic cavern, the walls and ground littered with white, green, blue, and purple crystals, all glowing in the darkness, illuminating the space. The high ceiling was dotted with them as well, almost mimicking the night sky. In the center was a deep pool that reflected the light, the crystalline water perfectly still and undisturbed. Your wings ruffled as you took in the sight before you, the reaction involuntary.

In your wonder, you failed to notice the Prince had disappeared from your side. He called out to you once he had sunk into the water, and your eyes snapped over to him, heat rushing to your face in the realisation that he was naked. He seemed to sense your shyness, and let out a chuckle. “Come on, Princess. Won’t you join me?” Slowly, you made your way over to the pool, eyes focused on the steam rising from the water, and away from the very naked Prince.

You sank down to your knees a few feet from him, your wings wrapping around you slightly. From the corner of your eye you could see his head tilt at you, and you were sure he was smirking at your flustered state. With an amused hum, he turned his body away from you, giving you privacy to undress and dip into the water. Once you were in, you settled onto the ledge and hugged your knees close to your chest, your wings hiding most of your body. 

“Y-you can t-turn back around now, my Prince.” He shifted back to his original position, leaning against the edge of the natural pool and resting his arms up on the ledge, relaxing into the hot water. You were still a bit tense, not having been naked around a man before. His deep voice was playful as he spoke. “Relax, Princess. We’re to be married. I’ll see you eventually.” You could hear the teasing undertone and you hugged your knees in closer.

His eyes were now fixed on you. With a small sigh, he moved, and you squeaked as his arms wrapped under your wings and around your waist. He lifted you with ease, and positioned you to be straddled on his lap, face inches from his, strong arms holding you close. His eyes were glued to yours, and you couldn’t hold his gaze. It wasn’t the same intensity as the first time you’d looked at them. This time was a bit different, the burning in his eyes was not from anger.

A hand came up and cupped your cheek, shocking you from the gentle touch. His voice was just as gentle, soft as his eyes trailed over your features. “You’re beautiful, Princess.” Your wings puffed up slightly at his words, and his eyes snapped to them at the movement. “Can I touch them?” The question shocked you a bit, but you nodded, not trusting your voice. 

The hand that was on your face reached out and pet your feathers, gliding down your wing gently. Nobody had really touched your wings other than you, and it was only to clean them. This was a new sensation, and your wings shook lightly as your shoulders tensed a bit. Katsuki’s ministrations froze, and his voice turned slightly serious. “What is it? Did I hurt you?” 

You blinked at him before shaking your head. “No, no of course not. It’s just...nobody has ever touched my wings before…” He seemed to relax at that. Still, his hand pulled away from your wing in favor of holding your waist. He held you closer, and your breath hitched slightly at the close proximity, your noses inches apart. His breath was warm on your face. “You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to hold you close like this, Princess.”

Your eyes widened at his words and he laughed a bit. “I’ll admit, Princess, you’d captured my attention rather quickly. I never quite knew how to talk to you. But I am impatient, and couldn’t wait to hold you.” You were giddy from his confession, and you leaned forward, burying your face into his neck and pressing your body into his. 

Up until now, your focus had been on the marriage and the alliance and making sure it went well. But now, knowing it would work out, you allowed your feelings to come into play. From the beginning you’d been taken with the handsome Prince. Within the first month you were no doubt falling for him. His attitude and personality was rather brash, but he was never aggressive toward you. Sure, he didn’t speak to you, but his actions spoke much louder.

He was a gentleman more often than not, holding doors open, escorting you to and from meals, even occasionally gifting you gowns and jewelry. You’d kept your emotions in check, though you knew by now you’d fallen head over heels for the man. Now, his arms tightened around you and you breathed in each other’s scents. His fingers massaged the skin in between your wings, and your body shuddered. It felt...good. Really, really good. You mewled into his shoulder, enjoying the new sensation.

You could feel him smirk into your neck as his fingers dug into the fluffy feathers at the base of your wings. With a gasp, your wings extended out behind you and fluffed up, all the feathers ruffling as you pressed your body tighter to his. A warmth began to build in your abdomen and between your legs, and you squirmed a bit, unsure what the feeling was.

His hands released your feathers and gripped your hips with a low hiss. “Quit your squirming, Princess. I don’t think I can control myself right now.” His voice was deep, and slightly strained. You lifted your head to look in his eyes, and his pupils were dilating, red irises now small rings. “What do you mean, my Prince?” His eyebrows raised slightly before his lips curled into a smirk. He brought your hips down, grinding you down onto him. 

That was when you felt it, his hardness rubbing against your thigh. A small gasp escaped your lips and heat bloomed from your chest up to your cheeks. He watched as your pupils matched his, irises disappearing into blackness. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss. When he finally let go you were both panting, and he leaned his forehead against yours. “Angel. My Angel.”

His eyes burned into your own as he spoke, his voice almost pleading. “Let me take care of you tonight.” You barely managed to nod before his lips were on yours again, this time hungry and wild. His tongue prodded at your lips and you let them part, let him explore your cavern in a mess of tongue and teeth. Without breaking the kiss his hands grabbed your thighs and began to lift, and your arms wrapped tight around his neck as he lifted you both from the warm water and walked.

You had no idea where he was taking you until he leaned and placed you down on soft pelts. Surprised, you pulled away to look around. The bed was situated behind a mass of towering crystals, hidden from the entrance. The blue glow illuminated the blonde’s face as he hovered above you, highlighting his features. You took a moment to admire just how beautiful he is, before his lips were on yours again.

His hands wandered freely now, groping the flesh at your hips and thighs, fingers massaging the soft skin there as his lips trailed down your neck and along your collarbones and shoulders. A thick finger found its way to your dripping core, and you let out a gasp at the feeling. You’d never laid with a man before, however you had to learn how to please one through books. You wondered briefly if the Prince had any real experience, before your mind was brought back to the moment as his finger pushed into you.

It wasn’t painful, and the mewl you let out let the blonde know you enjoyed it. His tongue attacked your pert nipples as distraction as he pressed another thick digit at your entrance, pushing it into your tight walls. A hiss escaped you from the slight burn, the stretch something you weren’t used to. Nothing had ever been inside you like this, the feelings foreign but pleasurable all the same.

His fingers maneuvered inside you, scissoring and curling and pumping until you were a panting moaning mess beneath him. His thumb dipped down into your wetness before reaching up to rub at the little bundle of nerves, making you flinch with the sudden jolt of pleasure, your wet walls clamping down on his fingers. A tightness built quickly in your abdomen the longer he kept his ministrations, and he leaned up to whisper in your ear. 

“I can feel you gripping me. Cum for me, sweet girl.” His mouth attached to your neck and sucked, adamant to leave a mark. It only took a few more moments for you to fall apart around the man’s fingers, legs and wings trembling, moans echoing through the cave. When you had come down from that high, he pulled his fingers from you and licked them clean, a deep groan pouring from his lips. 

Wrapping your legs around his waist, he lines himself up with your core, grasping your hip in one hand. “Are you ready for me, Angel?” Grabbing at the furs underneath you, you nod. “I’m ready, my Prince.” Slowly, he pushes himself into you, panting and growling, jaw clenched hard. The stretch burns, but only slightly, and soon you’re moaning and mewling beneath him. Finally fully seated inside you, his head drops to your shoulder and his arms wrap around you, holding you tight against him.

His breath is hot, blooming over your shoulder and neck, lips and tongue attacking the skin there. He holds his hips still, flush against yours, giving you time to adjust to him. When your walls relax around him, he begins to pump into you, shallow thrusts grinding himself into your walls. As he moves, his hands crawl up your back, fingers tangling into the base of your wings and massaging gently, making you moan out and wrap your arms around his neck.

He keeps his pace steady, but you can hear the strain in his breathing and feel his jaw clenched tightly. He’s holding back, and you don’t want him to. “Please, don’t hold back. I want all of you, Katsuki.” His movements stilled, you never used his name before. Pulling back, he peered down into your eyes as your hands held his face.

“You can have all of me, Angel, if you’ll be mine.” You leaned up and kissed him sweetly, “I’m already yours, my King.” A deep growl rumbled in his chest at your words, “Then you will have all of me.” He pulled his hips back and snapped back into you, setting a quick pace. Your breath came in pants and moans, the pleasure wracking through your body stealing the air from your lungs. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the cave, along with moans and growls and the smell of sex.

His arms held you tighter, fingers continuously digging into your feathers, lips latching onto your neck between heavy breaths. “Mine. My Angel, mine, mine. I love you my Angel.” You moaned out, your voice soft in his ear. “I love you my King. I’m yours, all yours forever.” His pace became erratic, and a hand came between your bodies to rub at the little nub between your folds. Only a few tight circles around it had you cumming and clamping down hard around his length, and he thrust into you hard. 

A few more thrusts and he stilled himself, letting out a deep guttural moan as he spilled his seed inside you, holding your body tight to his. He rolled over, laying you on top of him without removing his length from you. Your wings stretched out behind you, falling limp at your sides once they were relaxed. Katsuki peppered kissed along your hairline, whispering sweet nothings as your breaths calmed.

After a long, comfortable silence, he spoke. “Are you alright, Angel?” You smiled and kissed at his chest. “Never better, my King.” He hummed, the sound vibrating through your body. “We should get back to the main castle. The maids will panic if we’re missing.” You giggled at the thought of the maids running around like headless chickens searching for the two of you. With a nod, you sat up, and he lifted you off of him.

You swung your legs over the side of the bed and pushed up, but your legs were weak and gave way to your weight. Katsuki caught you easily, and scooped you up like you weighed nothing. After bathing in the pool once more, you both dressed and he carried you with him to his chambers, and you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next couple months you spent nearly all your time together. You sit side by side during meals, talk regularly, and spend free time alone on a balcony or in the crystal cave. As you spend time with him, you notice things about him you never would have guessed before. He’s extremely perceptive, smarter than his angry demeanor would lead most to believe. He hates lying, hates secrets and deceit, which showed through when he explained why he was so against the arranged marriage at first. 

The news was sprung on him only hours before you arrived, and he was angry that his parents had kept it secret from him. You noticed he was rather protective and liked skin contact, holding you tight to his body whenever he got the chance. He was thoughtful, his gifts were never useless, always something he was sure you would use and appreciate. Your favorite was the many custom jewels he had crafted for your horns. Some a delicate array of dainty silver chains and gems that glittered and swayed as you walked. Others golden wire, mimicking vines and leaves that twisted around and hugged your horns.

That was when you noticed his infatuation with your horns. He’d touch them often when your head was on his lap, tracing the intricate texture with his fingertips. He didn’t find them grotesque or intimidating like most others did, instead he found them beautiful and magical. He never tried to cover them, always adorning them with sparkling gems and glittering metal to accentuate the deep ebony.

He was curious, constantly asking questions about you, your home, and your customs. You grew to love the man more and more with every passing day, and as the wedding came and went you had no reserved feelings about the union. You loved Katsuki, the Dragon Prince, and he loved you, the Fae Princess. He was your King, and you were his Angel, and neither of you would have it any other way.

[inukag]

I've seen some people say that Yashahime is canon only to the OG anime, but I'd make the argument that it's not even that! Think about it:

While the Inuyasha anime did mess around with the manga lore or make up their own here and there, they still did bring to attention some lore that they CLEARLY ignore/retcon in Trashahime. Like in one of the 1st episodes of the OG anime where Myoga explains how Tessaiga was made to protect Izayoi, Inuyasha's mother. Yet, later on in Yashahime we find through a flashback that Touga apparently had Tessaiga long before he met Izayoi? What?

I actually talked about this next one with @loveyou-x3000 a long while back, but remember Hosenki l? Remember on how in the OG anime we found out he was the one whole created the black pearl that was in Inuyasha's eye? Well, I apparently found out that by Yashahime's logic, the black pearl was created by Izayoi's or somebody's tears? I'm sorry, but how does that make sense? (Correct me if I'm wrong there)

They even ignore the lore they created themselves from the OG anime, like when InuKag give Moroha the lip stick shell that was destroyed by Naraku in the Anime-only episode "Tragic Love Song of Destiny". What, am I just supposed to assume that InuYasha's been walking around with a bunch of his mother's old make-up stuff this whole time? And that he never thought to give one to Kagome, his wife, even tho he gave it to Kikyou and his own daughter?

Let's also not forget what the director has said in one of the recent interviews about demons apparently throwing their kids out in the wild as a "test of courage and cowardice", AKA Demon parents apparently not caring about their kids and abandoning them similar to how lions apparently treat their cubs. This absolute bullshit because not only is this not true in the manga, but the OG anime itself has shown several examples of demons caring about and raising their kids!!! Think about Shippo's dad, that little cat demon's dad when Inu trained with Totosai, Kuroro (demon cat that looks like Kirara), that demon dad who got his head chopped off by Hokudoshi, and even that insect demon that Jeniji killed who went out to teach its offspring how to hunt and feed! Its important too note that a good chunk of these parents are anime-only characters.

Hell, even the demon parents who didn't get to raise their kids still gave a fuck about them!!! Just look at Shiori's dad who clearly had every intention of raising his kid and even when he was dead STILL came back to protect her from her grandfather! What about Jeniji's dad who left his farm to his son so that both he and his mother would have a place to call home!?

What about Touga who sacrificed his own life so that his hanyou son could live??? (And that was from one of the movies mind you, so its anime lore.)

So now your telling me that the demon way of parenting was to leave your kids out in the middle of the woods when they're not even old enough to hold up their heads by themselves? If the OG anime series and movies followed that logic, then Touga wouldn't have even bothered to save Inuyasha's life on the night of his birth. Better yet, Touga could've just left Inuyasha in that fire, but saved Izayoi. He wouldn't have even bothered to give InuYasha his name if he just figured that his son failed his "test of courage" for being in that fire that he surely would have perished in if Touga didn't get there in time.

Also, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Yashahime's director HIMSELF (who worked on the OG anime too) say that a certain pairing that I won't name was never depicted as romantic in the original anime series? We all know it wasn't in the manga, but a while back I swear I read an interview where the director said it was never depicted in the anime either. Clearly, Yashahime threw that out the window, too.

And finally, I don't think I have to mention the retconning of all if the OG cast's character developments that were CLEARLY SHOWN IN THE OG ANIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that is why I don't think Trashahime can even be considered canon to the anime either. I rest my case.

(Sorry for the long post. I just had to vent and get that out of my system)

Don’t worry about venting! I agree with what you said there, I would love to add more plotholes and inconsistencies that are in Yashahime to your list but... I get exhausted just thinking about it lmao

The Tessaiga retcon is especially bad. First, like you said both in the anime and manga it is said that Tessaiga was forged for Inuyasha’s mother, who in Sunrise-canon was born 200 years ago, but in Yashahime Toga had Tessaiga and was using a perfect meido zangetsuha 500 years ago to destroy the comet... 

^^ He literally has Tenseiga on his hip even though Tenseiga was created to take Meido Zangetsuha out of Tessaiga lmao

You’re not wrong about the black pearl and Hosenki. Hosenki II says in chapter 298 that he and his father “cultivate” the pearls, it has nothing to do with tears, and Inuyasha’s father commissioned the black pearl before his death... 

The rouge / lipstick is not even a different rouge, they imply in episode 15 that it’s the same one Inuyasha gave to Kikyo, but Riku somehow found it and gave it to Hosenki II for some reason. 

That raises SO many questions... When did Riku find the pieces of the rouge? Was he spying on Kikyo and Inuyasha this whole time?? How did he know the rouge belonged to Izayoi?? Is he a time traveler?? Why did Riku and Hosenki II even work together to create the new black pearl?? Is this ever going to be addressed??

Oh man the interviews... I get a headache every time I read them. Personally, I don’t really think it’s ooc for Sesshomaru to set up some kind of rite or trial for his hanyo daughters to prove their strength. I never imagined him being soft and loving with them, especially not with the way he treated Inuyasha. But like you said, it’s definitely not a universal yokai thing, we all know that. Sesshomaru is just Like That lmao. I still don’t understand why his “rite” had to take 14+ years, why it involves Kirinmaru and Zero and what it has to do with Inuyasha, Kagome and Moroha...? If he wants to make his daughters go through that, that’s his business, there’s no need to also ruin Moroha’s childhood by letting her parents rot in the border to the after life when he could get them out whenever he wants (since he can go through the gate to the afterlife thanks to Tenseiga).

Other hilarious things that Sumisawa mentioned in the last interview: - Moroha knows Sesshomaru’s scent because he’s famous amongst demons - Everyone call the girls “yashahime” because Treekyo started the trend (no one was there to hear Treekyo except the girls...?)  - Kirinmaru met Jesus Christ and Buddha at some point 

And probably other stuff I’m forgetting... I’m so tired lol

[hey-erika]

SRMTHFG and Gargoyles for 'send me series and I’ll tell you my' meme!

@chanceofcloud

Sorry I answered this so late! I kept overthinking my answers and rewriting it.

SRMTHFG

FAVORITE CHARACTER

Gibson! I find him very endearing. He’s smug and pretentious, but he just tries so, so hard literally all of the time. I enjoyed watching him become more humbled and open minded over time, reminds me of me when I was a pretentious, know-it-all teenager lmao. I just enjoyed every second of screen time he got throughout the series

SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER

Antauri! It’s hard for me to articulate exactly why I love Antauri. He’s just one of the most interesting characters in the series, in my opinion. I love listening to him talk, not just because of his voice but just because I find myself so captivated by anything he has to say. The way he teaches and protects Chiro, but also believes in his intelligence and abilities (usually) makes him what I believe a mentor character should be.

LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER

Hmmmm that’s a toughie, I like pretty much all of the characters… I guess Skelemandarin specifically is kind of up and down for me, but I still like him, it’s more so his role in the series later on, I guess. Quite especially in the last season, he’s just kind of there to be Valeena’s lackey and do the hard stuff for her. But, that’s more of a writing issue than an actual issue I have with the character. Also I feel like we deserved to see the two Mandarins interact at least once.

THE CHARACTER I'M MOST LIKE

This one is also tough hahaaaaaa

I guess I’m a combination of Gibson (tries too hard, especially to sound smart and be likeable), Jinmay (tries to be kind to others, not having a solid grip on my identity), and SPRX-77 (deflects bad things that happen to me by turning them into jokes).

FAVORITE PAIRING

GibOtto! Every interaction the two of them have is just a delight to watch, I love watching their personalities play off of each other. Their relationship throughout the series develops in such a sweet way. To me it almost felt like, while all the Spova stuff was going on, Gibson and Otto were just having their own romance arc in the background lmao. I know that, even if we did get an ending, GibOtto would likely never actually be canon, but it just feels like such a natural progression of their relationship, to me at least.

Also if they were to put their heads together to invent things more often, they would be practically unstoppable, I’m just sayin

LEAST FAVORITE PAIRING

Oof uuhhhh, I guess besides the obvious no no’s, maybe Gibova? For no big reason other than that I think it’s dull and has no basis.

FAVORITE MOMENT

OOF there are a TON of good moments in this show hahaaaaaa. I’ve only watched most episodes once (I only got into the series a few months ago), but I would say a few of my favorites are; the scene in the convenience store, Antauri’s moments in “A Ghost in the Machinder,” baby monkeys, and Mandarin’s introduction scene. The I, Chiro saga as a whole is wonderful, but I think my favorite of it would be the scene where Antauri comes back to life. Also obligatory mention to Otto and Gibson hugging and holding hands in “Galactic Smash.”

I’m very indecisive.

RATING OUT OF 10

8/10! There’s some questionable writing decisions sprinkled throughout, but it’s an overall amazing series with so much potential to it’s characters and universe. Even the few bad episodes had at least something I found enjoyable about them. I highly recommend this show to anyone looking for something funny and cute and action-y, but also with a surprising amount of depth to it. (Probably could’ve been bumped up to an 8.5 or 9 if it had an ending but… disney hates joy)

GARGOYLES

FAVORITE CHARACTER

Lexington! I found him to be unique for the “tech smart” one of the group. Usually these types of characters are cynical, dry, skeptical, logic-driven, and have a holier-than-thou attitude. And while Lex can be dry and sarcastic sometimes (especially towards Brooklyn or Broadway), he never thinks of himself as more important than anyone else in his clan, and doesn’t bring anyone down (beyond playful ribbing) to feel good about himself. And something I thought was very refreshing about his character is that, despite being the “computer guy,” he’s shown to be angry, vengeful, and irrational at times. His decisions aren’t all dictated by “logic,” (IE never showing emotion ever because “eMoTiOnS aRe IlLoGiCaL”) he’s allowed to make bad choices and feel hurt about things, especially since he’s young (the equivalent of 18). Being smart doesn’t exempt you from making mistakes or feeling real, raw emotions and Lex encapsulates that perfectly.

Also he’s “adorable with a dark side” and that is some fine character trope RIGHT there

SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER

Demona! What a rollercoaster of a character, to this day she’s, not just one of the most compelling female villains, but one of the most compelling villains in general. The writers do well to let you understand and sympathize completely with her motivations, but don’t hold back on how ruthless and despicable she can be. In complete denial mode over the loss of her clan, forced to walk the Earth for over a thousand years as an immortal, all the while being hunted down by the Hunters and Macbeth, it’s easy to understand why she is the way she is now. It’s so nice to have a female villain that has such deep-rooted character flaws and trauma that it’s just embedded in her every word and action.

LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER

There are many, many well-written characters in this show that it’s hard to choose. But, I would probably say the Archmage. Really only having prevalence in the first Avalon arc, he has no real motivation beyond “me want ultimate power.” And his only real narrative purpose in the series as a whole was to cause Demona and Macbeth to be cursed.

Also Oberon is just kind of an annoying bitch

THE CHARACTER I'M MOST LIKE

I really do suck at these kinds of questions lmao

Lexington, maybe? I am quick to anger/irritation, and struggle with vengeful feelings sometimes. Also Brooklyn? I don’t really know myself tbh hahaaaaa

FAVORITE PAIRING

I know I draw Lexington and Staghart quite a bit, but the best pairing in the show is undoubtedly Goliath/Elisa. From day one their chemistry was amazing and believable. They are both so, so good for each other in every sense. Their personalities just fit together so perfectly, not in the sense that they 100% always get along all of the time, but in a way where they never stop trying for each other. Trying to better themselves, trying to understand each other’s point of view, trying to better the world around them. There is just so much love put into all of their actions and decisions. (also the woman being the one to shut out conversation and deny her obvious romantic feelings is a nice change of pace)

Also it’s the monster lover in me, I gotta

Additionally, when I first got into the series I was partial to Brooklyn/Lexington, and to be honest I still kind of am, but w/e

LEAST FAVORITE PAIRING

STOP SHIPPING BRONX WITH PEOPLE. Please I BEG of you to stop shipping Bronx with people

Although if we wanna talk about pairings that at least deserve to exist, then I can’t say I’m a fan of Brooklyn/Katana. Not any fault of Katana or her character, I just HATE the Timedancer storyline. HATE it. If there’s any AUs where Brooklyn and Katana meet without all of that bullshit I’d probably like it more (because I do really like their son, Nashville).

FAVORITE MOMENT

“I don’t remember any explosions in Bambi.” Also the Golisa kiss is still A+ romance. The episode with Brooklyn having to take the helm with Goliath gone is a solid episode. I love how, despite being entirely cut out for leadership, it was still a scary and daunting task for Brooklyn, especially since Goliath was gone without a trace and no one had any idea where he went. Brooklyn had no safety net going in and was understandably both distraught and overwhelmed to the point where he snapped at Hudson and gave up for a bit. That is just such a realistic reaction to that kind of situation and I feel like a lot of shows don’t do that kind of thing.

RATING OUT OF 10

9/10! Gargoyles excels at taking somewhat typical plot points and taking them above and beyond, most especially through the spectacularly written characters and phenomenal execution in it’s storytelling. I never watched most of season three (the creator said it wasn’t canon so I didn’t bother), but I still highly, highly recommend watching Gargoyles if you haven’t yet. My only complaints are; the whole Timedancer thing I mentioned (though that was in the comic continuation and not the show itself), and while the Avalon World Tour arc had a lot of interesting moments, by the end of it I thought it kinda dragged (“Future Tense,” woke me right the fuck back up tho, hoo boy)

[paolopallegient]

good morning, today is a better day.

i feel like all my work in the morning for the past 2 days have really helped achieved this feeing of me tal safety. To explain

3 days ago i learned that Gabbi had cut me off. It was hard to find out, i went ahead and slept it off, it meant nothing to me at night. I woke up and the information sunk into my heart. I was at my worst that morning, but i forced nyself to do good to myself. I remember not wanting to move, but i put my clothes in the laundry, showered, meditated, had a good bfast too with black bean noodle and some egg. It was good. Then i had work later with Darren and Dhan. It sucks because i love working with Darren and Dhan but i wasn't in no mood to communicate or talk to anybody. It makes me sad. I went home and facetimed Nicole and she had told me the true meanings as to why Gabbi had cut me off, which included why kiana had cut me off as well.

i went home and showered, got into bed and listened to music the whole time. I didn't want to talk to my parents, i didn't want to do anything bro. I waited for my parents to sleep just so i can eat by myself. I remember crying to Nicole about this moment because i felt like there was no hope for me. I remember late at night i hopelessly texted Kev so that we can talk it out. I needed to talk it out with somebody. Somebody who'd have my back. The insecurity within me had a feeling he wouldn't like what he heard or even lose another friend with him. It turned out well though.

The next day, I did the same stuff. I woke up, showered, did my laundry, made bfast, and even picked up an earlier shift. I usually work 4-9, but on this day i worked 1-9 so i was there longer. It turned out to be good for me. As i mentioned, i had to meet up with kev to talk about it. It was really good for my mental. I feel like i'm really learning how to grow and surround myself with good things nowadays. I guess i've experienced so much people leaving my life and the presence of their absence affecting me had taught me something 😂🤝😂. It's crazy, anyways, Yeah he was able to give me the guidance i needed. He told me that what i did isn't as severe as to what people are doing concurrently. Men are doing much worse than what i've done. He also said something very nice to me near the end, where i was dropping him off at his place. I was playing a logic song, a song off his new album No Pressure, but the song was in the background really so i wasn't paying attention. Kev placed my attention to the song and he said to me that he doesn't want me to be in the fear of being "cancelled" or crossing paths with somebody that doesn't like me because "that's not freedom."

damn.

That's not freedom. The song was "Amen", one of his favorite song off No Pressure. What he said there was something i carried through the whole day. I went to work after i dropped him off and i was thinking about that endlessly. I went to work and Kevin & Will were working. I realized that i like working with Kevin because he actually likes to talk and conversate. He's not as bad as people talk about him. It's merely the opposite, he surprises me. At the beginning he was hard on me when making drinks because, i was learning yenno? But now, when i do something "lazy" i'm surprised that he does the same. He made 3 drinks in a a blender lol. I've gotten condemned for doing such so i don't do it anymore. Anyways, talking and working the first half of the shift was nice. I was happy to talk to him. Kathy and Solo came in later. Solo is always dope, it's hard to talk to him doe because he's quiet as fuck and i like my music loud lol. Then Kathy was where it was at tho. I'll just say what she told me rather than how the conversations went. She told me she used to study film. She wanted to be in Film Production(i think) and went into Film Criticism on accident bc she wasn't looking close enough as to what she was studying or what classes were part of the curriculum. She told me as well that she's married, and that her and her husband used to own a restaurant, an american chinese place like Panda Express. 3 years ago she used to work at a boba shop, a local one in Orange County. I noticed that she refrains from telling me the names of the places she works, maybe those were years she didn't want to remember. It's understandable. 2018 and 2019 are years I do my best not to remember. Typing those years out actually made me reminisce and wow yeah i understand her, suggesting that her bringing up the names were the case as to why she wouldn't wanna talk about them.

Anyways, later in the shift around 6-7 it got busy and i started getting real mentally negative. It was insane to me, i started just drifting off while making drinks and i remember secretly slamming my hand down on bar. It just sounded like normal noise considering things are slammed all the time anyways, so nobody noticed anyways. Later, something crazy happened. I saw a girl come up and she had very familiar eyes. This is where my ability to recognize people astonishes me because I saw this girl's eyes and i recognized her as Noah Abel Cruz's girlfriend. Then i look whose next to him and it was Noah lmao. I had the quickest intuition to discount them, then i pulled out... i didn't tell Kathy to discount them... I wish i did. It was like my authentic self remember 2014, then my older self remember 2017-2018 😂 lmao stupid. I wish i coulda saved them some money in the name of growth. Although, what i did had shown that I was affected by his and my decisions from the past. I didn't appreciate what he's done or said to me in the past. Although, i still made their drinks... i think...? I remember yes, i did make their drinks. This moment i really am not proud of lmao so, it was pretty ass haha. I made their drinks and i remember being done for awhile, and Solo was busy AND KATHY WAS BUSY SO I MIGHT'VE HAD TO BRING THEIR DRINKSS TO THEM. But naw, I was able to hear Kathy's next order i think so i just remember beginning it and then solo came and brought the drinks. What happens later with the Noah story is crazy. from 7:10-7:50 i was going relatively crazy. I was thinking and repeating that moment forever. "shoulda discounted them" "shoulda shown him that i've grown" "should brought their drinks to them" idk. Earlier in the shift i texted Melissa if she could roll my weed because, yesterday with Dhan and Darren, Dhan gave me weed...? LOL Like, i have no form of smoking it but yeah. He just gave it to me, and Melissa agreed to roll my weed. Then i get a snap from Christian that they're both hanging out at the time i text her. I told him that, if they want free boba, come bc we close at 8, and they got excited. They came around 7:50 and were so playful?

They were happy to see me... It was nice to felt needed, or at least produce excitement for somebody. It was nice. I remember somewhat scrambling because solo was making drinks and I wanted to make their drinks and yeah. I made their drinks, said goodbye, etc. Then we closed, nothing much this night, just showered and laud in bed, ate later and watched Japan Sinks (which i don't like lmao, i won't be finishing this series lol). Anyways, yeah. I forgot to mention, the Noah thing. So we closed, i got into my car and called Kevin bc he called me while we were closing. He told me that Noah called him, and told him exactly what i was telling him. Like, "man i felt weird" stuff like that. He was saying that we'll probably reconnect at a listening party in the future at Kevin's. I think i have to organize my feelings with Noah first. Thinking about it now, i'd still feel weird. We'll work on it. I'll work on it. Anyways, yeah. crazy.

Christian, Melissa, Noah, Coworker Kevin, Vrother Kevin, Dhan, Darren, Nicole, all these people enjoy my presence. Even my parents enjoy my presence too. i have to remember this.

today, i will get up, use the restroom, i want to brush my teeth bc i didnt brush last night. I'll come back, make my bed, meditate, then shower, then fold my laundry, Kevin is coming around 12:30 so i'm assuming that we'll probabky eat when he comes. We'll be watching Do The Right Thing and Once Upon A Time In The West, an oldie double feature. It'll be good. Later in the day, i'm going to melissa's so she can roll my weed. I appreciate her. I appreciate kev. Today will be good and i'll further beaing good to myself. Tired of being tired of being tired.

Kiana, Gabbi, Justin, Preet, Bianca, etc. I want you all to know that i'm choosing to grow. I feel like i have potential to achieve greatness in this life. I want to do better for my seed so that my sons or daughters know consent and know how to "read the room" and not make people uncomfortable. I want to teach them and educate them. My nephews and nieces as well. For the future, if i become a teacher, i do want to teach my students as well. I want to become a person of change. I will change, i'll show you all. You can decide to be present for that, if not then...

I wish the best for all of you. I remember a life where i cared for all of you. Thank you for being apart of my journey. I have 0 defenses in my case if i get cancelled, i admit to what i've done. Although, i'm not going to allow that to restrict me from growing and being a better person. If you ask me, why wouldn't cancel culture WANT me to grow and be better? Idk. If i lose more friends to this, I won't be surprised but, yenno what i'll do?

Wake up in the morning, shower, meditate, do my laundry, and eat breakfast. I'm done being a shit-person to others, but it begins with myself. I have to love myself.

Today is day 3 not getting cancelled. I have a dentist appointment sunday. Next week is Julius's bday. Gabbi's too but i won't be celebrating it lol. Then Passdown retreat, then the week after school starts. Then blam. Life keeps going. I will grow.

Thank you Paolo for taking the time to just type this whole thing out... this was also a step towards loving myself. Alright, i have to shit. See yall in my next post. Love you all. Swag.

[atopearth]

Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds Part 10 - Sakamoto Ryouma Route

I’m not sure if I never realised or just completely forgot about Chizuru meeting Sakamoto when she went to ascertain whether a rumour about her dad being at this random place was true. I do remember him trying to help her and her rejecting him though lol. He seems so carefree and happy go lucky talking to her, trying to chat her up and completely forgetting that he said he’d help her find her father LOL. I’m surprised he rather readily told her who he really was the second time they met coincidentally. A lordless Ronin from the Tosa domain - somewhere that recently had a fight with the Aizu domain because they helped Takeda when he was asking the guy questions and things got a bit violent I guess? Sakamoto seems to really like what he’s doing right now - teaching people how to steer ships like the new steamboats, and he seems to be allied with the shogunate? Lol at the Nakaoka guy having his hands full with Sakamoto running around doing whatever he wants and telling people like Chizuru his true identity lol. Ooh he’s an alleged survivor of the Tosa imperialist party and is involved in imperial nationalist movements - that’s what I thought he was supposed to be related to. But I guess they’re still investigating so we’ll see what Sakamoto really thinks about everything.

Hijikata telling Chizuru to lure him out since Yamazaki and them can’t seem to tail him and get any info out of him is just so…I don’t know, it feels so wrong. I know they say they just want to question him, and Chizuru seems to be interpreting it positively in that they want to question him so they can become allies kinda thing, but what if things go downhill in the conversation? She’s been mostly neutral, so I feel like it’s inappropriate to ask her to do this for them tbh. Omg, I love Sakamoto. I love that he could immediately tell that the letter she sent about wanting to see him was really the Shinsengumi wanting info about him, and I’m happy that he doesn’t blame her for it and instead thinks it is quite underhanded of them to get her to do this. You go tell them, Sakamoto! I don’t think I completely understand the depth of their differences in Hijikata and Sakamoto’s argument, but you can tell that Sakamoto is definitely knowledgeable about the current state of affairs and really hopes to make Japan a better place. But then again, who isn’t? From my experience with Sakamoto Ryouma in most mediums though, he’s not a bad guy and he really wanted to mediate a solution that both the shogunate and imperialists could settle with, but he was killed by a group on the shogunate side and that began the war between them, since although many people were after his life, it’s indisputable that right now, there are people on both sides telling them to not touch Sakamoto because of the impact and repercussions of doing so, considering his influence etc I believe. I’m happy that Chizuru apologised for sending that letter even if Sakamoto didn’t mind since it’s such a common thing apparently lol! But dang, he’s such a flirt, I don’t know if he’s really interested in her or not, but I guess the fact that she caught his eye since the beginning is enough to prove that he’s interested to an extent haha. Considering how obstinate and passionate the Shinsengumi seems to be towards one thing and not backing down towards anything that may seem wrong in their eyes, such as what Sakamoto speaks of, it’s probably true that he really is practically an enemy of the Shinsengumi.

I think it would have been nice to see what Sakamoto got up to in Nagasaki, but maybe they want to keep it mysterious for now since everyone is still wondering where his allegiance lies considering that he has the backing of a shogunate leader and yet communicates with the Choshu. I’m surprised the Shinsengumi wanted to protect Sakamoto from the other groups that are aiming for his life that probably don’t know he has the backing of a shogunate leader. But I guess since their superiors are the Aizu and they told people to not touch Sakamoto, it could be quite important for them to protect him in accordance with what they have relayed, and since they don’t like Sakamoto, making him owe a favour to the Shinsengumi would be nice too I guess lol. It would be so much more logical for Chizuru to distract the lookout with Heisuke or Shinpachi but I guess she’s got to be the one to bond with Sakamoto lol. I was quite worried when he got injured since I thought that was the place where he died in history but I’m glad they made it to the shack. Sakamoto is SO charming though!! When he kissed her on the forehead and told her to go~~🥰 Like, c'mon Chizuru, go get help otherwise you’ll die together if you get caught! Luckily they were close by to where Sakamoto’s allies were so it was fine, no credit for the Shinsengumi though haha but keeping Sakamoto alive is probably more important than any credit😅 Lmaoo at that letter he sent her when he got a bit better, why you so flirty?! Oh yeah, forgot to mention, it seems to be confirmed that Sakamoto isn’t liked because of him doing trade with foreigners and I guess this sharing of wealth and resources doesn’t sit well with them since it’s like a betrayal to their country by allowing foreigners and their weird products and beliefs into Japan.

I wonder if telling her some information about her father’s whereabouts was just an excuse for him to lure her out and see her again… He does seem to be really fond of Chizuru. Omggg when he was so direct about wanting to see her whenever he wants and then he tried to get her to say the same hahaha, such a tease. But it’s nice to know that he wants to see her so much that he’d give random bits of information for her to tell back to the Shinsengumi so that they’d see some worth in her meeting up with Sakamoto and won’t stop her from doing it. With her finding out about his trade with foreigners, it was nice to see a bit more insight on what he thinks with their discussion. He seems to be dissatisfied with how stagnant the shogunate and its system is and has been, he believes there’s been no improvement over the years and can’t see a future with their continued governance, which many probably can’t help but agree with too. It’s just that the Shinsengumi and others are too loyal and obstinate about keeping to the shogunate even when they at times can recognise the faults with them. Sakamoto seems to want Japan to become stronger to fend off against other countries such as Russia who have already attempted to take over an island above Nagasaki 5 years ago. I guess you can’t blame Sakamoto for thinking that these trades are needed, considering how powerful guns are compared to the weaknesses of swords especially with the distance advantage and lack of skill required (when it is compared to mastering swordsmanship).

Lmao at Sakamoto just announcing his arrival to the compounds by shouting he’s here hahaha. He really does whatever he wants. It’s nice to see him take Chizuru out, she’s always confined to the compounds, I feel sorry for her. But wow, I didn’t think that Sakamoto was born a country samurai (lower class samurai) that was treated badly because his ancestors were enemies of the Tokugawa like 200 years ago, and now they’re still so oppressed by these rules and customs that have been solidified. It’s really unreasonable, I can see why he wants things to change. I mean, if things haven’t changed in 200 years by others, then he might as well change them himself. YUCKKKK! I was really enjoying this route until Kaoru appeared. Omg, I hate him with a passion so zzzzzz. If Kaoru plays a big part in this story, I’m gonna die. Anyway, yeah, getting rid of the shogunate system and implementing something similar to the West where they elect their own leaders sounds cool and all, but to actually do it would be quite difficult, but it’s always good to pave the way to get people to start thinking that there can be these kinds of choices (since other people are doing it) rather than allowing people to be settled into the mindset that those who are born upper class will always be upper class and the lower class will always stay as peasants. I loved how Kaoru tried to paint Sakamoto as an enemy and bad guy with the things he had done recently, but Chizuru was unfazed and thinks that he’s a good guy deep down hahahah, Kaoru’s face was great🤣🤣 I hadn’t seen the CG with Hijikata protecting Chizuru and using the opening she gave him to retaliate against Kazama when he attacked the compounds at night so that was sweeet!

Although I’m not sure how I feel about Sakamoto spreading the availability of guns to the Satsuma and Choshu, especially with how terrible these contraptions were for the Shinsengumi, but it is true that unlike guns, Furies can’t be controlled. However, Sakamoto just coming and telling them to stop researching and doing experiments on Furies is pretty unreasonable considering that he just gave them information that the Satsuma Choshu have Furies of their own because of Kodo. This mutually beneficial relationship between Sakamoto and the Shinsengumi would be useful though - Sakamoto tells them progress of the Furies in the West and the Shinsengumi tell them the weaknesses and attributes of the Furies. Although I do agree with Sakamoto for some things, I do think he does undermine the Shinsengumi’s thoughts and beliefs. I believe that they are fighting for a better Japan in their own way and aren’t just completely following after the shogunate, at least right now anyway. It’s just that as the story goes on and everything, it becomes more evident that there’s not enough people who carry the same beliefs and honour in the same way as them. Oh, this is where Sakamoto dies! I remember him being on the second floor of somewhere. Most people on the shogunate’s side probably has no more patience with him spreading his weapons and words aiming to get rid of the shogunate. Well, that’s worse than what I thought would happen. It’s saddening that the Shinsengumi came too late, but to think that Kaoru had already turned them into Furies, and now Nakaoka (and maybe Sakamoto) think that the ones who assassinated them were the Shinsengumi when it was most likely the Mimawarigumi that they saw before they rushed to Sakamoto…that sucks...

I wonder if it really is like so, is the spreading of Furies by Kodo similar to how opium was spread in China to ruin them? In a way, maybe, but it’s undeniable that becoming a Fury at least gives you another chance at life whilst having superhuman strength, whereas opium really only served to end up killing healthy people on the inside and outside, as well as their families. I hate always seeing Gen die, especially when it’s by the traitors from Yodo and Tosa domains that they thought they could get reinforcements from😫 If only Sakamoto came earlier😭 Or not lol, no difference I guess since Sakamoto captured her back to Kodo so that means he has to save her another way. Btw, Sakamoto looks much nicer in Western clothes imo. Nakaoka doesn’t though lol, that hat is ugly! He’s also pretty annoying now with his insistent blame on the Shinsengumi for killing them and their comrades like they’re so righteous and everyone else is wrong. I was really happy and touched when Sakamoto said he buried Gen for her😭 I was so worried that the Furies might have gotten to him, I’m so relieved now😭 I kinda liked Nakaoka before so I’m really disappointed in how unreasonable and violent he is with Chizuru, I’d rather he had stayed dead now tbh. Sakamoto is right though, if they rely on Fury powers to win the war, then Kodo and them will get the credit and also, as the people that transformed them into Furies, I’m sure they easily know how to get rid of them after. I don’t think it’s something Nakaoka should really brush off until the war is over since that’s when they’ll make their moves. It’s also pretty silly and a waste since the shogunate is losing right now, it would be different if they weren’t already winning, but it’s pretty clear that they have the clear advantage with the guns.

Now that Sakamoto and Chizuru have successfully escaped from Nakaoka and Kodo (with the help of Shiranui), it’s nice to see them lay out what their goals are now - killing all Furies and not interfering with history as dead people. Ohh? Sakamoto knows Shiranui because they used to guard Takasugi together!😮 Considering how much Shiranui seems to be fond of Takasugi, I kinda hope there’s a Takasugi route in the future (alongside a future Shiranui route too!). Ooh, this seems like it’ll be an interesting journey with Sakamoto and Shiranui together killing Furies lol. I guess it is also the first time Chizuru doesn’t go with the Shinsengumi to Edo since she feels that dealing with her father here is her responsibility and she wants to watch over Sakamoto since he’s reckless by himself lol. I think it’s a good choice, it’s not like she can really help out much anyway, so she might as well do what she wants to do now. Nice to see how much Sakamoto appreciates her being here with him too - that hug was nice🥰

Both the bad endings were pretty average, sadly - nothing too heartbreaking or different. Overall, Sakamoto seems to be a responsible, passionate (for his dreams) and flirty guy, and the story seems to take a different route from the usual since it’s not as related to the Shinsengumi, so I am looking forward to what it’ll be about, and I quite like it right now. The only thing I’m kinda wary about is that since Kaoru seems to be there, I feel like there is a chance I might hate it in the end if it’s focused on him as the villain…😣😣😥

[ikesenmotonari]

yay that ikesen oc thing. she’s a multifandom oc but hey im not creative so i might as well JAM her into another universe lets go lads

idk who to tag but if u have an ikesen oc go for it i wanna know bout em!!!

i was tagged by @nyktoon-ikemenlove thank you sweetheart!!!

Age? Height?

“Hi! I’m Melody Wyverne, but my friends if I had any would call me Mel, Mells… that fun stuff! I’m nineteen and I’m five foot two!”

She’s petite, on the curvy side. She’s 5′2″, or 155 cm; she is only nineteen and wants to go home. lmao

What’s your fashion like? [Time travelers – pre & post-wormhole!]

“Er, pre time-jump I was a fan of sleeveless hoodies and high-waisted jeans. I didn’t go out much, so I dressed comfortably. Now I wear kimono and hakama… it’s pretty. I sure hope it didn’t trouble people too much to make these…!“

The top one is an older doodle. thonk emojis

Where are you from?

“I’m from Canada, actually. I lived alone for a bit then my dad reached out to me and asked me if I’d like to spend some time with him in Japan. So uh, I just wanted to talk to him again and thought this would be a good way for me to intern somewhere… it might as well be his business right? Then the storm thing.“

Her mom is French, her dad is English. She’s got a ridiculously high IQ level and no social skills whatsoever, so she knows most Japanese and speaks it pretty okay despite her North American kind of accent. Is that a thing? thonks

Feudal era – pros and/ or cons?

“There are pros?!“ She’s not very happy being surrounded by blood and death…

Pros? Cool clothes. Cons? HAVE YOU MET THESE PEOPLE?!

If you’re not in your homeland/time, do you want to go home?

“Gosh. Absolutely.“

What’s your home life like?

“Well, I’ll run you through a usual day! Ah… well, I’d eat something, then play with my cat, talk to Avery for a bit, then… yeah I’d spend the rest of it at the garage, just working on my projects! It’s… I like working. It’s not healthy, and I’ve been told… but it’s nice, you know?“

Melody doesn’t go outside.

She scarcely leaves her property and the only close friends she has is a cat and a cyborg (a man with no arms). Her parents split years ago and she wasn’t properly socialized as a kid. Being raised as a certified genius? It’s… lonely. She doesn’t know how it’s affected her, but being thrown back in time is forcing her to look at things differently.

You just got your dream job! What is it? / Or, what’s your line of work?

“I’m a programmer on the side, but first and foremost, I make prosthesis for people. I have a background in medicine and engineering I suppose…”

Any other hobbies or skills? Do you use them / how do you use them in the Sengoku period?

“Not really… I can barely take care of myself as is, haha! Erm. I can’t use my skills much at all in this era. Other than some simple automatons, there’s also guns I can piece apart, but I’m more hesitant with those… all I can do is use my expertise in biology I guess. There’s a lot of injuries going around, and I’m glad I’m not completely useless.“

Where is your base of operations? Azuchi Castle? Kasugayama Castle? A pirate ship? Running all over the woods or in a secret monastery? Some other cool place?

“I woke up in a forest near Azuchi and stayed in a neutral tea house for a while before Lord Masamune pretty much dragged me to the castle. So I stayed there for a few months, and the warlords grew on me, but… I… got kidnapped. So I guess my base of operations is a pirate ship.”

Oh?

“…I don’t like it. Don’t get me started on their captain…”

How do you feel about killing and violence?

“I just wish there’s another way past it all. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the logic behind killing someone. I… I’m a doctor. Not a murderer.”

Have you learned to fight? If so, what’s your weapon and/or fighting style of choice?

“Nope, actually. But there’s some good guys on board that might be willing to teach me! At least, I hope so. The only thing I’m leaning towards are guns, unfortunately, but they’re the closest thing to a modern mechanism I can get. Eep… I don’t know how to fight! I don’t want to!”

What are you fighting for?

“Um, my life?!“ It changes. Eventually. ;3

What are your feelings about authority?

“As long as they’re not bullies? Fine.” She pauses. “Lord Nobunaga was different though. I didn’t understand him fully, but he doesn’t really make fun of me or anything. He’s just curious I guess. I don’t tend to question authority unlike some pirates.”

How do you handle someone invading your personal space?

“I just get really uncomfortable and back away if I can. I can’t bring myself to yell at people unless they’ve seriously whittled down on my patience. I didn’t know I had it in me, actually… huh.“

…do you invade people’s personal space?

“Ha…. haha! Yeah, sometimes. I get nosy okay? I didn’t even know what personal space was until I was eleven!”

Are you more open, or more reserved? Are you secretive?

“Avery says I’m an open book. I have nothing to hide, no secrets to keep. There’s not much that happened to me before, so I guess I’m some kind of blank slate? Gee, that sounds so harsh…”

Is this the first time you’ve been truly in love?

 “Love? Have you spoken to these people?”

Eventually? Yeah. Yeah this is her first time.

What’s your style as a lover? (interpret this as innocently or not-innocently as you please ;) )

She’s sweet, affectionate and balanced. She knows when to handle time with her partner and time working on whatever independent activities. Though she’s quite a dense person overall and won’t realize if she’s even fallen for someone, she deeply and wholeheartedly trusts them. It takes a while for her to know this.

Also, she’s 99% submissive and slightly masochistic. As well as a rope bunny.

What are your favorite ways for someone to show you love?

Touches, fleeting ones. Tight hugs, any kind of embrace. Show her something unconditional, undivided. She’s been isolated for so long she convinced herself she won’t have someone to love, so she carries on merrily alone, not knowing how deprived she is of human contact. Hmm.

Take her on an adventure. Bring her out of her comfort zone. Show her what the world could be like… you’ll change her.

Do you use a petname or endearments for your lover(s)?

Not really, she would give nicknames if she could! She already says things like ‘honey’ and ‘dear’, but nothing too mushy unless it becomes super playful and joking.

How do you feel about…

Nobunaga? “He’s such a complicated warlord… I don’t know if I’ll ever understand him. But he’s shown some really keen interest in me. Is it because I’m a Westerner? Either way, Lord Nobunaga scared me and he still does. But after spending months in the castle and talking to him, he’s not actually as mean as I thought he was. I don’t know why he laughs at me though! I guess the things I do seem really silly to him!”

Hideyoshi? “Oh he’s super nice. He taught me how to make tea when mister Mitsunari and I put way too much leaves in. He tends to scold me for staying up though, but I can’t help my insomnia without my pills! It’s really comforting to know that Lord Hideyoshi is looking out for me though. The things he does reminds me of how Avery takes care of me, so I guess he’s like a big brother? Heehee.”

Masamune? “He was the one who brought me to Azuchi castle, and boy is he wild! His energy shocked me honestly, it’s like he never runs out of it. He’s so cool though! He kinda scared me too, and I’m pretty sure he can stab me once told to, but he’s been really playful. I didn’t know I’d have so much fun in Azuchi thanks to him. And he makes amazing food! Though he should stop bugging me to eat three meals a day…”

Ieyasu? “Aw man, I wish I can talk to him without him speedwalking away or trying to avoid me! He’s reading stuff about medicine, right? I’d like to know what he’s learning. It’s no doubt super different from modern medicine. I try to talk to him sometimes but Lord Ieyasu’s always busy… was it something I said?”

You know that question about invading personal space? Melody leans in to peer over at his books sometimes. She’s a bit too friendly to his liking.

Mitsunari? “I relate to him a lot. He’s really friendly and sometimes I’d spend my free time reading with him. Time goes by so fast though and either Lord Hideyoshi or Lord Ieyasu would step in to tell us we’ve missed dinner…”

Literally. They are so alike. They got along swell.

Mitsuhide? “S-Scary… have you heard of those rumors about him? I mean, in person he’s okay, but he’s just tall and intimidating to me. He did take me out to the marketplace once and show me around, which… well, nevermind. I guess he’s nice. Apparently Lord Hideyoshi told him to stop teasing me, but I don’t recall being teased?”

She’s dense. 

Shingen? “Big man. Very tall, and… I think he was flirting with me. Whatever it was, he’s… really.. erm, polite and all, and I met him along with Yukimura and Sasuke at the forest tea house before I was taken to Azuchi. I don’t know him too well, but with what Lord Nobunaga told me, he must be a strong warlord…”

Kenshin? “I never met the guy. With a title like the ‘God of War’, I don’t think I want to…!” Fear.

Yukimura? “He’s… he’s kind of… what’s the word, gruff, isn’t he? I met him along with Shingen and I guess it’s a good quality to be honest and stuff. I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

She spilled tea on him. You can imagine the rest. Sasuke came in clutch.

Sasuke? “He’s super great. I wish I had more time to talk to him! He kinda saw right through my attempt to hide the fact that I’m from the future and he gave me helpful advice on fitting in and staying under the radar. Eep, sorry I got dragged to the castle, Sasuke! We can talk about astrophysics another time…! Seriously, I’m so grateful to him. Without his advice I’d probably be in big trouble.”

Kennyo? “He went near the tea house once and was feeding the fish in the koi pond. He’s scary, but… he’s nice. I served him tea and some dumplings. I had no idea he hated Lord Nobunaga so much…”

Motonari? “Ugh… infuriating. I didn’t know I could be so angry at someone before I met this guy. The nerve he has, to kidnap me in broad daylight, spit on Azuchi defenses, and then use me as his impromptu surgeon for the high seas! Hmph. … I… I don’t know. The more time I spend with him, I feel like I’m not going anywhere - you know, I try to get along, I really do, but I think he’s keeping me away? Like, he just tends to stay shallow with people. As annoying as he can get… I want to know why. He’s shown how playful he could be, and his crew loves him. He gives me the same vibes as Lord Nobunaga, actually… intimidating, but I want to know more about him.”

Any other friends/notables?

“I have a friend named Avery and he’s awesome! He took care of me ever since I was eleven, he was twenty-one at the time and now he’s thirty. He’s like a dad to me. Oh, and this isn’t too important, but he has metal arms. I made those! Er, the updated ones, actually. Just to make sure they’re functioning like real arms and all. The prototypes were made by my mom and he was severely injured, so the surgery took a while. He and I grew really close after my parents’ divorce. He lives a few blocks down, and he has eight dogs. Don’t ask ME why, you should ask HIM. … I miss him. I hope he’s okay.”

She also has a cat named Charlie. He’s a grey ragdoll. That’s… that’s about it.

hooray for my shallow motonari headcanons with trust issues

[fastxandxtardy]

///Out of Speed///

Gotham season 3 episode 14: The Gentle Art of making Enemies

I’m going to say one thing before I put spoilery things under the cut

This episode is the reason everyone should watch Gotham for. This, this is just IT. This was AMAZING and makes all the shitty episodes worth it. Gotham has had really good episodes before, but this one is phenomenal and I was completely speechless. 

Now on to my massive fangirling.

JEROME FUCKING VALESKA 

I knew it was going to be a good one because Jerome was in it, but jfc it’s like Cameron’s performance gets better each and every episode we see him in! How is that possible?!

David Mazouz also gets all the awards, all of them. He was brilliant and you could really see Batman in him. It gave me the chills and the last scene with him and Alfred about the Batman philosophy brought tears to my eyes.

Nygmobblepot was fucking heartbreaking. Oswald ;  ; he really loves Ed, was willing to give up his life for him. And Ed didn’t expect that. Oswald defied all odds AND HE STILL FUCKING SHOT HIM! I need a seperate post to talk about this because jfc.

But he can’t be dead, right???? The Penguin cannot be dead. 

Fucking Valeyne interaction tho! Fuck they have so much chemistry and yes I hate myself for thinking that. Remember how I said that I would not ship them other than platonic? I need to keep repeating that as a mantra in my head. Bruce is like 15 or 16. Underage. And Jerome is 18. So, nope nope nope, can’t go there. 

I assume Jerome is still 18 because he’s been dead. Otherwise he would have been 19 probably. But his body was frozen, so technically he’s still 18. That’s my logic anyway.

Even worse is that Jerome is absolutely bonkers and cruel.

But DAAAAAAAAMN, I loved the shit out of the first line he said to Bruce.

“My my, look how big you’ve gotten!” with that crazy ass grin that’s somehow unfairly hot on his stapled on face. How does he do it? How?

OMFG Jerome! Do you know how much trouble they went through to get that thing from the Court of Owls!!! I shouted when it shattered. Hopefully they can still fix it. 

“It’s been nagging at me ever since I woke up. The idea of slitting that pretty pink throat of yours.”

FUUUUCK, Jerome, don’t say those kind of things!

And Bruce BLUFFING, seemingly judging Jerome for wanting to kill him without any flair and egging him on, playing on his ego! OMFG that was amazing! Jerome realizing Bruce was trying to manipulate him but going along with it anyway because he makes a good point. You have to love how he’s rather vain when it comes to things like that. The thing he accused Dwight of; having no charisma or stage presence. He really finds that important. He’s so theatrical heeeee.

But his whole demeanor during that. Like he was first being all crazy eyed and about ready to kill Bruce, keeping that pose like that for a bit and then him rolling his eyes and turning away going “Ooh whadda ya mean?” And Bruce just kept being stone faced the whole time. You go, Brucey! I really love how he’s grown and am so so proud of him. Last time he was cowering in Jerome’s grip. That’s only about a year ago!

I loved everything about that scene. I’ve rewatched it on YouTube so many times I know it by heart. 

That murder circus/carnival cite. How fucking terrifying was that? I’d seen glimpses of it during the white band trailer of course, but now I realized what it was all about. They were killing innocent people on every attraction. 

The whole thing with “Face it, kid. Gotham has no heroes.” and then when Jerome is about to throw the ball, Bruce pushes him. YES! That right there already showed that Bruce wants to be a hero even if he doesn’t fully realize it himself yet. But Jerome does (with his later line of “You wanna be a hero?!” in the mirror maze.

The poor guy gets killed nonetheless and that was a gruesome scene ick.

BUT THEN omg, when Jerome puts the staples in Bruce’s arm after he mocked him, you can SEE that Jerome is intrigued when Bruce only briefly blinks his eyes but doesn’t make a peep. His brow furrows the slightest bit in confusion, disbelief. He’s amazed that this kid isn’t immediately crying out in pain and realizes there’s more to him than meets the eye. After the second one, he sees it as a challenge, and he’s pleased when Bruce pleads for him to stop at the third one. But jfc, two staples were put in his arm and there was only the blinking of his eyes. I was super impressed. Also, because Batman moment! I love it whenever Bruce shows his inner Batman and we haven’t even gotten close to the best part of Bruce’s scenes yet. 

Jerome as a ringleader? Hell yeah. I loved the white straightjacket like suit on him more (it was super hot ngl) but I have to admit the ringleader suit was a lot more Jokeresque. 

Jerome slapping his own ass.... *died* He’s a showman, alright.

I was appalled by all those people cheering for Bruce’s death though. Like jfc, that’s a teenager! You’re rooting for a teenager to be killed in a terrible manner! How can you people live with yourselves?! I get that they want chaos and anarchy because Gotham as a city... I wouldn’t want to live there either. Look at kids like Selina. They’re completely left to their own devices! No one cares about them. How horrible is that?! But these cult members are horrible too for wanting Bruce to be killed just because he’s an elite. 

The little murderous shit waved goodbye at Bruce with a grin after he lit the fuse! What a troll! I can’t even. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at this part because daaamn that’s so cruel but also so Joker.

I was panicking so badly when Bruce lost that first staple and the fuse was almost up. The desperate look and sheer panic on Bruce’s face (again all the kudos to David Mazouz) completely sucked me in and made the rational thought that it’s impossible Bruce Wayne dies fly completely out of the window. 

Thank you, Selina for teaching Bruce streetkid skills! I’m assuming it’s Selina that taught him how to pick locks during his stay with her on the streets. That saved his life. 

“Oh Bruuuuce! Where are ya, boy?  Come on out boy. I won’t hurt ya!” Yeah right. No one believes that coming out of your mouth, Jerome...  And then when he saw him running into the mirror maze: “Bruce, darling... “ WHAT?!  How can we not ship that? Please tell me how we’re not supposed to ship that? Because even with the shipping being platonic, some people are like omg that’s disgusting! But look at that writing! (which I love)

BATMAN! Sorry, but even without the suit and cowl, Bruce was so Batman in the mirror maze scene. First of all, he lured Jerome there and used the confusion of the multiple mirrors to his advantage. And the look on his face, it was just on point. That serious, intense Batman stare/glare, he had that down. This whole scene was my absolute favorite Bruce moment in the whole episode. Maybe even the whole show.

The whole moment where Jerome giggles at himself and goes  “I have to tell ya, *giggles some more* This is way more fun than I was expecting! We make a good team you and me.”  I was squeeing and holy shit, how much did he sound like Mark Hamill there? Amazing!

“Let’s do this mano y mano, my little conquistador.” I have no idea what that means lol. But I’m guessing it’s something like let’s fight this out as real men and I loved how he said “my” I’m terrible...

TACKLE!!! 

“What kind of hero tackles someone from behind?!” lol Batman does! And ouch then Bruce got a kick to the face, but that’s about the only hit Jerome got in because daaaamn that training really paid off!

Jerome, your fighting skills suck. I also loved how he was treating the fight in such a silly way at the start. I’m not sure WHAT exactly he’s saying when he’s ridiculously pumping his fists up, but I think it’s “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up!”

He heavily underestimated what Bruce was capable of LMAO

My heart stopped when Bruce seemed about to kill Jerome. (You can’t really blame the guy, he thought Alfred was dead) Not only because, you know, Jerome can’t die again!!! But also because Bruce is a good person. I wouldn’t want him to kill anyone, and it’s Batman’s biggest rule. Not to kill. 

So I breathed a massive sigh of relief when he didn’t. 

Jerome’s face starting to come off was really really gross though. It’s then that you realize that part of it is nothing but dead skin now. Gross. I wonder if they’re going to do plastic surgery on him or something. Because there is no way his face can heal by having part of it stapled on like that. I know little to nothing about medical things, but that seems logical to me. 

Alfred and Bruce reuniting really made me emotional. It was such a heartfelt moment. 

Jerome just had to go and interrupt that moment. Fuck I was so scared Jim was going to shoot him!

But instead he punched his face off.

Ew. 

I love Jerome, but... a lot of blood squicks me and seeing an almost entirely bloody face (or non-face I guess) made me shudder. 

BUT HE’S ALIIIIIIIIIVE YEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

The point I made in the former post still stands however... how is Jerome not going to be obsessed with Bruce Wayne as a person now? He defeated him, showing how worthy an adversary he is, but also made Jerome have a lot of fun at the same time, challenged him. I’m also pretty sure that in the moment, Jerome wanted Bruce to kill him to prove his point that everyone can be pushed to kill someone. He was cheering him on to kill him. Bruce defied him at every turn. It would seem really unbelievable if Jerome were to simply forget about him after all this... Even if he at some point realizes it was stupid to want him dead in the first place (That was something Galavan wanted him to do after all and he clearly and understandably hates Galavan for betraying him. So why does he want to carry out his will?)

I wonder how the writers will deal with it. Unless by the time Jerome is free again, Batman’s out to play already, and Jerome officially becomes the Joker. Which would admittedly be awesome. David Mazouz proved that he is more than worthy of taking up the cowl one day. In my opinion, anyway. The only problem being he’s still a bit young.

Maybe next season we’ll see Jerome in Arkham having his interaction with Harleen Quinzel (since apparently we’re going to see a glimpse of her in the last episode this season) and maybe even with Mad Hatter (though I hate that creep for his incest behavior) and Ed! (if he gets caught this season) While Bruce continues developing and figures out what he wants to do with everything he’s learned. Maybe he’s still dealing with the Court of Owls too if that doesn’t get resolved this season. That gives him another year to grow and we’ve seen what one year can do already.

Maybe Jerome even leaves Gotham for a while after he’s escaped Arkham. Who knows. 

I really wouldn’t want a time jump and then a different actor playing Bruce. No way.

If they are going to go as far as having Batman on the show, that is. Originally that wasn’t the plan, I believe, but to me that seems a shame. They have an actor who undoubtedly will be able to pull Batman off, they have the perfect future Joker, the chemistry between the two is already there even before they are Batman and Joker. What more could you want? Personally Gotham interests me a ton more than the DC movies. And Jared Leto’s Joker... so far he hasn’t done it for me. Harley Quinn is awesome, but Joker... eh.

Okay back to the actual episode now. The last thing I want to talk about (I might make an other post for all the Nygmobblepot stuff. I’m not sure yet) Alfred and Bruce’s talk in the aftermath of what happened. Bruce being so damn mature and again, showing his inner Batman. With how that even though there is a fine line between justice and vengeance, like Alfred said, it doesn’t mean there isn’t one and Bruce doesn’t want to cross that line. He completely gets it. 

The moment Alfred mentioned rules, I was already smiling. It’s like I already knew what was coming. 

“Rules you cannot and will not break.”

“I will not kill.”

CHILLS! The way he said it and then repeated it, the determination and expression he put in it. Even just thinking about it is making me shiver again. Brilliant. If he wasn’t so young, I’d be in love. 

Aaaand that’s it. I’ve rambled on enough about Jerome and Brucey LOL. I’d be surprised if anyone actually read through all of it X’D. If you did, congratulations! But seriously, if you like the whole Batman franchise, you’re definitely missing out if you don’t at least watch the episodes Jerome is in. I know a lot of people are super hung up on the fact that the Joker isn’t supposed to have an origin or name and blah blah blah. But Nicholson’s Joker had a name too. Jack Napier, anyone? And no one seemed to mind that. 

And you have to see Gotham as its own thing. A different spin on the Batman mythos. The characters are portrayed wonderfully and really worth the watch. The first season is really slow, I admit that  but once the show finally got going, found its pace, it kept getting better. I understand why it was so slow. The first season was where they had to start building everything up so that after that they could focus more on the individual stories of particular characters. 

I’m personally glad I didn’t give up on it. Especially now that Jerome is back. They didn’t kill him off this time. We will be seeing him again. Even if we have to wait another year for it. Soooo...