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findingtarshish · 1 year ago

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Chapter 2: The Beast runs wild...

Olivia comes to visit Harmony at her store, and learns a few more things about her... condition, that her sire negleted to mention. But the Beast has a way of taking control, and things might not go as planned. Written by @jasina85 and myself!

It was one of those nights. One of those few nights that she actually had to herself. And yet, Olivia was restless. Her apartment, her haven, felt too small, too constraining to simply spend it in the comfort of her own walls, like she usually did on those kinds of nights. So instead, she wandered the streets, watching the minutes tick by into hours.

Even that didn’t help much. There was one other thing that came to her mind. One other thing she could think to occupy herself with. She opened her wallet, and pulled out a slightly fatigued business card. Harmony Adams, Conservationist and Antiquarian. The little card she was given a few nights ago at Elysium. She thought back to that night, to the woman who, for whatever reason, decided to strike a conversation with her. Oddly enough, she was wondering how she was doing. She had offered to host her as a guest all those nights ago. Looking at the address, her store wasn’t too far away and by the time she got to it, the lights were still on. Of course it’s open - she does work nights, after all. She’d have taken a deep breath, if she still could. The glass storefront of the store was mirror-like, reflecting the baleful light of the streetlamps. Faintly inside, she could make out rows of bookshelves, and beyond them, a familiar figure busying herself at the counter of the store. Olivia pushed the door open.

It chimed. “Good evening, welcome to Night Owl Conser— oh!” Harmony said as she looked up, a bright smile on her pale face. “Miss Heller, it’s good to see you again!”

“Good evening, Fräulein Adams. It’s a wonderful store you have here.” Olivia rarely visited antique stores, so she didn’t really know what to expect. She knew this wasn’t quite an antique store, but it was obvious Harmony did her utmost to give her store a unique atmosphere, a certain unmistakable ambiance that she would be hard-pressed to find anywhere else.

Harmony laughed nervously. “Ah, thank you. But this is a pleasant surprise! What brings you so far afield to my humble home?”

Yes, what am I doing here? It was a good question that Olivia wasn’t sure how to answer. Did she merely want to see the young vampire again? That wasn’t not true. Did she want to talk to her again? Also not untrue. She decided to settle on something more neutral. ”To tell you the truth, I wanted to apologize for my rude exit last time we met. You had been such delightful company and you deserved better treatment than what I offered.”

“Oh, I took no offense. There’s no need to worry about that.”

With a sudden jolt of surprise in her thoughts, the last word of Harmony’s question rang in Olivia’s head. “Home? I did not know you lived here. May I come in?” It was as though her muscles all locked in place all of a sudden. She didn’t really understand why this was happening, but it wasn’t the first time. Something deep down made it difficult to move. Almost as if her body itself was unwilling to take another step forward without receiving an explicit permission.

“Oh! Um…” Harmony blushed. “I, um…” She scratched her neck nervously. “I actually live in a basement suite, it’s maybe a bit of a stretch to call the entire building home.” There was a pause, then she gasped in worry. “Wait! We’re not supposed to say where our havens are! Fuck!”

There she was, blushing again. It was already apparent in Elysium, but Olivia couldn’t help but admit that the other woman possessed a truly… mesmerizing beauty, which only felt more apparent against the backdrop of the store. “Worry not Fräulein, I shall promise that I will keep your place of rest a secret.” She bit her lip. This was undoubtedly not a good way to start a conversation, with secrets spilling out already. She had to do something to reassure Harmony. “If you’re worried, I would be willing to give you my address as collateral?” It was the best she could think of. But she was distracted, equally by Harmony and the tensing of her dead muscles. You’re not meant to be here. You weren’t invited.

Olivia: [Composure + Subterfuge, 3 dice, 2 successes]

She did her best to hide her discomfort. Oliva hoped that Harmony would pick up on some cue without seeming too awkward. She wasn’t entirely sure she could push past this strange block. She wasn’t sure about a lot of things.

Her address?! Harmony’s blush deepened wildly. Nobody had ever given her their address before. Well, one person, but she didn’t want to think about him right now. For now, she settled for giving free reign to her emotions “Eh?! I- I guess?” She looked away pointedly. “I was expecting to have to erase your memory or something, but that’d be such a rude way to start a conversation…”

Erase her memory? The prospect evoked a visceral reaction from her. Not that she would know her mind has been altered, but it wasn’t what she envisioned the visit like at all. She wished she could stop standing in the same spot so awkwardly, but she still felt rooted in place. Though, the fact that Harmony would so openly admit to it was odd— what sort of warlock gave up the advantage like that. “I… see. I appreciate your honesty, I suppose? Though I would prefer no disciplines of the mind were used on myself, if it’s at all agreeable?”

“Of course! I didn’t mean to imply— I don’t usually— ugh, I’m making a mess of this, aren’t I?” Harmony put her head in her hands.

“No bigger a mess than I have made on that night in Elysium. It is quite alright.” She wasn’t sure if she felt relief or amusement at just how bad they were both at this. At the very least, she was glad her mind remained inviolate. “But perhaps we could change the subject?”

Harmony seemed relieved to do just that. “Of course!” She looked down awkwardly for a moment. “Um… can I get you anything?”

“That is… a good question. I don’t make social calls too often… in truth I may have not thought things out that far.” Again, why did I come here? Why indeed?

“Well… usually when Katherine comes to visit, I make tea. That’s a good start, right?”

“Tea sounds lovely, however there might be some… difficulties with that.” She felt bad for refusing tea. But she knew that she couldn’t drink it. She tried to drink normal beverages, back in the early nights. It very quickly became apparent that it just did not work. She was curious how Harmony did it; the brunette had suggested that she could when they’d met in Elysium.

“Hm?” Harmony floundered for a moment. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to presume. Of course you wouldn’t want to tempt the Beast for something like this. I have some bagged blo—” She closed her eyes and grimaced. “…but the Ventrue don’t drink anything that isn’t fresh. Damnit, I’m sorry.”

I shouldn’t have more anyway. I’ve had enough. Any more is just a waste. “Please don’t be, the thought is appreciated. What did you mean by ‘tempting the Beast’? It sounds rather ominous.” It would seem that despite their apparently similar “age”, Harmony knew more than her about the intricacies of this… condition. Perhaps it would be worth pursuing? She could only feign knowledge and confidence for so long. Anything she could learn might make a difference.

“…You mean taking on the Blush of Life?” She furrowed her brow. “Did… did your sire not teach you how to do that?”

Right, but how does she explain this? The way Harmony spoke, this was something that was more or less a common knowledge. Why did she not know about it? “Well my sire has… he’s… he’s very… hands off in his approach.” All hands off until he wanted something. Then it was all hands on and better hope you do it exactly as he expects. Olivia scratched the back of her neck nervously. “In truth there was… rather a lot I had to learn by myself.” That wasn’t even a lie. How to blend in. How to not act out of place and out of turn. How to stay beneath notice. All things she had to figure out on her own. And so often, only a single chance to get it right.

Harmony seemed taken aback. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to strike a nerve. Um… would you like me to teach you?”

Yes, but I can’t seem too enthusiastic, otherwise you might realize just how terrible a liar I really am. The thought hurt. She wasn’t lying because she wanted to. She was lying to protect - both herself and Harmony, from her. “Teach… me? I… well that does sound rather nice.” She was a little worried someone would walk in on them having this conversation. A customer or, heavens forbid, Harmony’s sire. She still remembered the look Frau Ithaca gave her at Elysium. She’d rather not run into the elder again any time soon. “But is it alright to do it here? I would not want to… inconvenience you too much.”

“Hmm. Here.” She pressed a button below the counter, and there was a whirr of an electric motor as the curtains on the glass storefront pulled closed through an unseen mechanism. Harmony stepped out from behind the counter and flipped the sign on the door to ‘closed.’ “We can talk in my office if you’d prefer? As long as you promise not to touch any of my projects.”

“Your office? If I may, of course. And I promise to not touch any of the books without your explicit permission. I understand that your work is probably rather delicate at times.” It didn’t need to be said, but she said it anyway as proof of her intentions. Or she hoped it would serve as one. She could relate too - she hated whenever someone would come into her office and rearrange her things. Altering her workspace. It was her’s, things were where they were for a reason.

Harmony wordlessly motioned for Olivia to follow her, then stepped through a door beside the counter. The space opened up into a brightly lit conversation office: numerous work tables dotted the area, strewn with in-progress projects and materials. Shelves along the walls housed yet more, bottles of ink and pain, rolls of parchment and paper and leather and every other binding material under the sun. In the front-right corner of the room was a small kitchenette. Based on the contents of the stove, it was mostly used to heat dyes. Harmony hit a button on a kettle as she stepped inside, and it started to warm up. “Welcome to the conservation office! This is where the magic happens.” She winced at her own wording. To her chagrin, no real magic happened here.

It felt like a great weight was lifted from her shoulders as Olivia felt her muscles relax and be cooperative again. This… phenomenon was very bothersome and she wondered if there was any way she could suppress it. She followed Harmony into her office. Even without knowing the exact purpose of the tools she saw, it was clear delicate work took place here. And yet, it felt like more than just a workspace. “You have a rather well-appointed office, Fräulein Adams! As befits such a wonderful store, I suppose. It is certainly more charming than my usual place of work.” It was true. She was a little envious of the charm. Her office, back when she still had one, was rather utilitarian. She always thought she would liven it up a little once she settled in. But she never did.

“Oh? Do tell.” She pulled a teapot from the shelf of her kitchenette, and put some tea blend in the infuser.

“Well I can’t smell any disinfectant for one. That is rather nice, even if you do get used to the smell after a while. And there are colors besides white and light green.” You got used to the colors and the smell, but given the choice she’d rather have her workplace more… soothing. Sometimes the room felt too clean, too sterile. That was the point, but she couldn’t help but sometimes wish otherwise. “Here it feels more… lived in, I suppose. Not just a place of work, but of rest too.”

“You were… a doctor, then?”

“Indeed. I still practice, from time to time, as a volunteer you see. Though it does require a little bit of… creative interpretations of truth. I imagine my… ah… predicament might have rendered my license null.” All those years of effort, all those sleepless nights down the drain. That wasn’t true, not entirely. But it stung to know she couldn’t openly practice anymore.

“Oh… then as far as anyone knows, you’re…” Harmony’s expression fell to one of sympathy. “I’m sorry. That must be difficult.”

To put it mildly. She would have sighed, if she still could “I… I try not to think about it too much. And in truth I do not know how things seem in that regard…” Do you really think that? Maybe she did. She couldn’t really be sure of an answer. But she tried her best to convince herself that was the case. Better she was dead to the world than it knew what a monster she had become.

Harmony didn’t really know what to say. She set the kettle and mugs down at a small table in the corner and busied herself with steeping and brewing, hoping to prepare some liquid comfort for her ailing guest.

“Yeah it’s… yeah.” Olivia mumbled to herself, before realizing what she was doing. “Oh! I’m sorry, I let my mind wonder where it shouldn’t… It is a really lovely office you have here. It suits you, I think.”

“Thanks.” She cleared her throat. “So, um, have a seat?” She sat at the table, and motioned toward the chair opposite hers.

Olivia sat down, but already something felt wrong. She couldn’t help but wonder if she already upset her host with something she said. Why did she have such a hard time around the young Tremere?

There was a brief awkward pause. Harmony wasn’t entirely sure how to behave; after all, she knew nothing of this person. Perhaps sticking to the agreed upon topic was best. “So, um, the Blush of Life. Basically, you force blood into your skin and soft tissues, giving it a semblance of life. It makes you look more human, lets you breathe involuntarily, gives you a heartbeat…” She bit her lip nervously. “I’m not sure how else to explain.”

It was as if a switch got flipped in Olivia’s head. Suddenly nothing besides Harmony’s words mattered. She was listening intently, making mental notes “Wait, you’re saying I can restart my cardiovascular system? And it will just… work? Does it also work for the digestive system? How much function can I restore? Are there limitations? Does it require some preparation?” The doctor in her, the scientist, was excited. If this really worked the way Harmony said…

“Um…” Harmony was a little overwhelmed at the enthusiasm. “I don't really know the specifics…” She fiddles with her shirt cuff nervously. “But it does let you pass surface-level medical exams, eat and drink, and, um, have sex.” She blushed. Why was she blushing? It was just a medical detail! Nothing more. Goddess above and below, why was she so awkward with this woman?

“Alright, so it restores certain functionality that’s good to know. If it allows for eating and drinking then perhaps it may also allow for…” That was… it felt like an odd thing to bring up. She was probably just listing off the possibilities but Olivia couldn’t help but wonder… no, no surely not. “I… I see. That is… good to know. Useful knowledge, yes! Knowledge is good!”

“Um. Yeah,” she said. She poured two mugs, as the smell of fresh mint filled the air. “It works on a similar principle to how we heal, I think. And the ritual of memorium, I guess.”

“I see. So you’re saying the principles of both processes might be similar? Well, this does make it a bit more embarrassing that I haven’t thought to try doing that myself.” Healing was something she was familiar with. Perhaps a little too familiar. She looked down at the steaming cup of tea. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever had so much anticipation about drinking tea.”

Another detail came to mind. “Oh! I should warn you. It, um, isn’t permanent. Everything you eat and drink, um… comes back up later.”

Of course it wasn’t permanent. She didn’t know what she expected. But even if it was a temporary reprieve, even just for a few hours, even an hour… “I suppose it would have been too good to be true otherwise. I’m… a little concerned about the ‘comes back up later’ part. I mean does it not break down? Are you saying that we can consume food and drink but not digest it? That sounds a bit… cumbersome?”

“I, um, don’t know the specifics,” she repeated. “I’m an art historian, not a doctor…” Harmony trailed off, her eyes shifting away from the raven haired woman nervously.

“Oh! Yes, right. Sorry about that I…” You let herself go again. You got so caught up in your excitement that you made it weird again. “I may have gotten a little excited. I suppose that I will have to conduct some research! I must say, I do hope we’ll get a chance to talk more. Our conversations are proving to be both insightful and delightful!”

“I’m glad!” Harmony loosed her brightest smile. “I’d be interested to hear what you learn. But for now…” She lifted her mug in a pantomime of a toast. “Tea?”

“Oh, yes! Tea! I suppose I should first… do it.” Olivia closed her eyes. Thinking logically, if this was at all similar to the healing, she should be able to trigger it in a similar way. As if anything about this condition was logical. She concentrated, trying to bring forth the image of her heart. She willed its muscles to contract and relax, poured her will to make the heart beat.

Olivia: [Rouse check, Failure, +1 Hunger]

“Did it work?” She carefully put her fingers against the neck artery. Slowly, almost as if she was afraid to spook it. She pressed her fingers against her skin.

Harmony smiled sympathetically. “It does tend to be a bit weak. Mine has never been as strong ever since the Embrace.”

And to her surprise, relief and joy - it did work. It was faint, weak, as though she was suffering from something, but it was there. Words could scarcely describe how it felt. All this time, every morning she put her fingers against her neck to see if it came back. And now, she could do it on demand. She hurriedly pulled out her phone from the jacket pocket and typed out a quick note with a time stamp. “Wow. It’s… there. Wait, am I breathing? Am I? This feels… great and weird at the same time.”

But there was something else there too. Something too familiar. Look at you. Learning things. Things that even the most pathetic lick knows. And for what? Tea? We both know that’s not what you want. You need me! You think you can deny me, but you need me!

Shut up! Shut up! I won’t let you ruin this. I won’t give you what you want! “Focus Olivia, focus - you’re in company. Tea?” She raised the steaming cup excitedly.

Oblivious to Olivia’s inner turmoil, Harmony smiled her bemused smile, and clinked the ceramic, then took a sip.

She carefully tilted the teacup and sipped slowly, as though afraid of getting burned. But to her surprise, she drank. It felt so wonderful, so warm so… so unlike what she expected. Despite what Harmony told her, she still expected to taste ash. If she could stomach it at all. But it went down as easily as before it all started. “It… it tastes wonderfully. It's… it’s been quite some time since I had anything to drink.” She smiled a wide smile. It felt wonderful, like she was living in black and white and someone finally poured some color onto the scene of her life. It was almost intoxicating and she couldn’t help but express it.

Harmony smiled widely. It felt good to share this joy with someone else. “I’m glad you like it.” She cradled her mug in both hands and leaned back. “Blood is tasty, but sometimes a cup of tea hits the spot like nothing else.”

“Tasty… well, it is filling, yes.” Blood wasn’t really… tasty, no. Not to her, not in the way she fed. But it was her choice. A matter of survival that she still despised herself for. Something her Beast would never let her forget. How sweet it could be. But whenever it was sweet, people got hurt. Often hurt beyond any measure of help. She didn’t want to go back to that. It was too much. But her brooding was interrupted when she noticed Harmony’s mug and she couldn’t help but chuckle at the caption. Its background was a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet, formatting menu and all, with the message ‘Freak in the sheets.’ “That is a… very interesting mug.”

Harmony: [Composure + Subterfuge, 6 dice, 2 successes]

Harmony blushed up to her ears. “Oh! Um. I thought I grabbed a different one.” She staunchly refused to look at Olivia in embarrassment. It wasn’t that she was particularly prudish, but she still didn’t know Olivia that well. Certainly not well enough to break out the gimmick mugs.

Olivia was amused at the reaction, and she couldn't help but feel warm inside looking at the blushing Tremere… or maybe it was the hot tea… but maybe it wasn’t just tea. She couldn’t help but blush at the thought, not quite realizing that she very much could blush now. “So… uh… what’s your favorite? Kind of tea I mean!”

Eager to change the subject, Harmony shifted her grip to cover the mug. “This blend, actually, Herbal Mint, no sugar. And you?”

“I was a coffee-drinker, actually.” She smiled as Harmony made an exaggerated, almost comical expression of disgust. “Don’t look at me like that, you’d be slamming down coffee and red bulls too if you ever went to med-school. I swear, it’s a 50/50 if you end up with a caffeine addiction.” It feels so long ago now.

Her fake gagged expression melted away as Harmony giggled. “Oh, I assure you I didn’t dodge that. Black tea got me through a double major and a masters. It is a mercy to my kidneys that I switched to herbal.” She paused for a moment. “Though I suppose I don’t really have to worry about that anymore.”

“It seems we might have more in common than I first thought. Of course, I assumed you were academically inclined based on your choice of profession, but that is most impressive! Your sire was quite right - you’re a remarkable person by all accounts.” It felt nice to talk to someone. And Harmony just seemed so… easy to talk to. She didn’t seem judgmental, like most others. As odd as it may sound, Olivia felt like the woman really was just… happy to be here?

Olivia: [Charisma + Persuasion, 2 hunger dice, 2 successes]

Harmony’s blush, which had just begun to subside, returned in full. “T-thanks.”

Olivia inhaled. There was something that’s been bugging her. “Admittedly, I am curious about something, although I’m not sure if it’d be… appropriate to ask?” Suddenly it felt easier to not look at Harmony awaiting the answer. Like her sight might offend the woman somehow.

“I don’t mind.” After all, Olivia had seen her most embarrassing mug, so she was already at the limits of her awkwardness.

Right. Here goes nothing. “Knowing now that, this… Blush of Life, as you called it, is something that we can do. I understand its purpose for social situations. Blending in and the like. And the question might sound a bit … hypocritical? Given my initial reaction but - why did you do it at Elysium?” She mustered the courage to look at Harmony, hoping to measure her reaction. “It’s not as though you have to pretend before anyone there, right?”

Harmony’s lips parted in surprise. “Oh!” She didn’t know how to word this. How could she possibly explain this to her? “I uh, actually don’t need to do it. I’m just… like this. All the time.”

That… wasn’t the answer Olivia was expecting. Hoping for? It felt… was she jealous? Upset? Both? It seemed so unfair. She set the cup down on the table and simply stared at the remaining liquid. “Just like that huh? All the time, no sweat, no effort?”

“I…” Harmony seemed almost ashamed. “Yeah.”

“It… it must be nice.”

Olivia: [Composure + Subterfuge, 3 dice, 1 success]

This… stung. It felt unfair. It wasn’t fair. Why did she have to expend the effort, to tempt that ugly monstrous… thing inside of her, when Harmony just… was like that? “Must be a Tremere thing.” She didn’t mean it, not really. But she had to say something. Anything to ease the blow.

“It isn’t. It’s just…” She shut her eyes. If it was a Tremere thing, a sorry excuse for a warlock like me wouldn’t have it, would I?

Well, congratulations Olivia, look what you’ve done. She sighed, this time for real. “Sorry. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to word it like an accusation it just… fuck.” She buried her face in her hands. “I’m sorry that I ruined your evening.”

Harmony wiped away a whisper of a bloody tear from her eye. “No, I’m sorry. You came to visit me and here I am dragging you into my frustrations.” She took a deep breath. “It’s just… nice, to have someone to talk to. Someone who understands.”

Olivia mustered the courage to look up from the cup and back at the woman. “I guess we’ve both had it pretty rough, haven’t we? Even if neither of us knows the full extent. And for the record, you’re not dragging me into anything. I should thank you for having me here in the first place.”

“I suppose. But…” She was showing her secrets, her weaknesses, she’d come close to letting slip her most shameful feature. What would Olivia think of a Tremere without sorcery? “Ugh, I’ll never get used to keeping secrets. I’m sorry, I’m new to this, I probably shouldn’t be telling you any of this. I mean, we only just met.”

“It’s not exactly like I’ve been at it any longer. And yeah, having to keep everything a secret sucks.” She tried taking comfort in what remained of the herbal brew. “And don’t even get me started on that other stuff.”

Harmony drained the rest of her tea, still a little despondent. “Other stuff?””

“Yeah. I mean, all of this?” She gestured at herself. “That’s already a lot to take in. And then there’s all this biblical stuff about Caine and how, apparently, he was the first vampire and it just makes me want to scream whenever I think about it. I mean… how are you supposed to just… go along with all that?”

“He wasn’t—” Harmony stopped herself from snapping and took a deep breath. Olivia was probably a Noddist, or at least instructed by one, and the last thing she wanted was to get into a theological shouting match with a Caine-worshiper. “…it does make sense, though. We were created by our sires, they were created by their sires, and so forth— the idea of a common ancestor isn’t too outlandish.” She bit back any other remark she might have let slip.

“Maybe, but it’s still just… so utterly unreal. I mean… just trying to put it all together…” Even now the topic made her head spin. She took a deep breath. “A common ancestor, maybe. But, all these other things? Are we really supposed to just believe we are as we are because some guy killed his brother farther back than any calendar goes? Sorry it’s just… a lot. And I still haven’t really internalized it all because it just seems so unbelievable.”

“It wasn’t… wait a moment.” That wasn’t right. “I thought you were a Noddist, and that’s why you were spouting Caine mythos, but… that’s not what happened in the Book of Nod. The curse for murder was a different thing.” Maybe Olivia wasn’t a Noddist after all? Or maybe this was another thing her sire had neglected in her education. Either way, perhaps here was another opportunity for Harmony to teach her something, before the poor fledgling was indoctrinated by Caine-worshipers.

Now she was even more confused. “What’s… what’s a Noddist? The Book of… what? I mean that’s just what I’ve been told. Are you telling me that’s also nonsense?” She buried her face in her hands again. “Can anything about this be straightforward, please?

Harmony hesitated, then set down her mug. “Follow me. There’s something I want to show you.” She quickly stepped toward the kitchenette’s sink and washed her hands, and motioned for her guest to do the same. Even if their skin no longer produced oils, it was still a good habit. When she was satisfied both of their hands were clean, she started to climb the stairs to the second floor, pulling her keys from her pocket as she went. A brief jingle of metal later, and the door swung open, and a draft of cold, dry, conditioned air blew over them. The room beyond was sparse, containing only rows of shelves with dozens of archive boxes. A little slip of paper was attached to each one, containing its name, contents, and a QR code, presumably linking it to an internal database.

Olivia stood up and followed her host upstairs, being careful not to disturb anything. “Well. I’m not quite sure I expected a climate-controlled room here. You seem to have quite a lot of material in here.”

“Oh, all libraries have them. This is my archive room. When you have rare and fragile materials, you have to control temperature and humidity.” She strode to the far side of the room, to a large, closet sized safe, and punched in a code. 0918, Melody’s birthday. She made sure to hide the keypad with her hand; Olivia had given her no reason to be worried, but considering what she kept in there… better safe than sorry. She reached for the bottom shelf. There she kept her most dangerous documents, the copy of the Book of Nod gifted to her at the gathering of the Childer of Ceridwen that summer, her distressed copy of Revelations of the Dark Mother, and the most dangerous of them all, Rachel Dolium’s original research notes.

It was a stroke of luck to find them— good luck or bad luck, she couldn’t yet say— at the back of a used bookstore. A dozen boxes of files, notes, books, photographs, a wealth of incredibly dangerous documents that, had any human found it, would have blown the masquerade wide open. She’d bought them all with cash immediately, and erased the memory of the transaction. But Rachel Dolium… her actions were more dangerous than most any other Lhaka. She put a target on the back of anyone associated with her, both among Bahari and the Camarilla. If anyone knew Harmony had these… She made an effort to hide the notes with the door of the safe, and quickly pulled out two of the slimmer boxes.

Olivia took a moment to take in the archive while Harmony went to grab something. “I had no idea. You seem to have a pretty sophisticated setup here.” And yet, she felt that pang of curiosity, and she couldn’t help but to peek over the woman’s shoulder. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were keeping gold here.”

Olivia: [Wits + Awareness, 5 dice, 4 successes]

The boxes inside looked nondescript, but she did make out a few labels on them - ‘Rachel Dolium Manuscripts- General Notes’, ‘Lamia History’, ‘Lilin Iconography’, and ‘Rites and Traditions’. The titles themselves told her nothing, but it was clear to her that Harmony considered these to be particularly precious, or dangerous— perhaps both. She was a little surprised she caught as much as she did. Almost as if her eyesight got better ever since she was turned.

“It’s nothing,” Harmony said quickly, perhaps too quickly. She handed one of the boxes to Oliva. “Would you carry this?” Without waiting for an answer, she quickly shut the safe and locked it, then headed for the door downstairs. “I keep confidential material for my clients in there, along with any potentially Masquerade-breaching documents, like these.”

“Masquerade-breaching… alright.” That all sounded rather serious. Almost grimly so. But she tried not to dwell on it and fell behind Harmony carrying the box. “I understand client confidentiality perfectly. I suppose that’s something our professions have in common. And, once again, I promise that nothing you tell or show me in confidentiality shall leave your walls.” It was true - such confidentiality was no laughing matter to Olivia. You simply did not speak about certain things.

Harmony nodded. “Thank you for that. Some of these documents… well, this one in particular—” She pointed to the box she was carrying “—aren’t exactly the Camarilla’s favorite topic.” She set the box down at the table in the office and cleared away her tea set. “Let’s start with the one you’re holding. Lift it out gently; it’s not exactly a rare text, but my copy is quite old. It was a gift from an old Lasombra I met a few months back at a gathering. Not a Sabbat Lasombra! An independent,” She added quickly.

Olivia: [Composure + Subterfuge, 3 dice, 2 successes] vs Harmony: [Charisma + Insight, 4 dice, 3 Successes]

Olivia set to work carefully following Harmony's instructions, being as gentle as possible. But when she heard the words ‘Lasombra’ and ‘Sabbat’ she flinched. It was subtle, or she hoped it was at least. “Oh! I would not assume you’d have dealt with the Sabbat of course. They’re… not exactly the most pleasant of individuals.”

Harmony couldn’t help but notice that reaction. “You say that like you have experience.” She set out a foam cradle for the book as Olivia removed it from its box. The book was a beautiful tome, bound in black leather and silver, with precious leaf pressed into the tooled cover. Andre LaRue had a particular style, and he stuck to it, even in gifts to others. He too had reacted that way at the mention of the Sabbat.

I wish I didn’t. I really wish I didn’t. And it wasn't supposed to show. “I’ve… may have had a… run in, at one point. A most unpleasant experience. I would prefer to not repeat it.”

Olivia: [Charisma + Subterfuge, 2 hunger dice, 0 successes] vs Harmony: [Charisma + Insight, 4 dice, 0 successes, Bestial Failure [Crisis of Faith: +1 Superficial Willpower Damage] Compulsion Roll: 10 [Perfectionism]

What are you doing? You worthless lick, not worth the blood used to make you. See what happens when I let you have control? Do better. Now. Instantly, the smooth and seductive tone of the beast became vicious. Honeyed words became shrieked insults. It was deafening.

Harmony shuddered, her eye twitching as if in pain. She sat down, half falling into her seat, her hand curled around the edge of the table in a white knuckle grip. “I… I understand.”

It was impossible to not notice the sudden shift in Harmony’s demeanor. Olivia had never seen her like that. Not that they knew each other long, but it was still concerning. “Are you alright? You seem very… intense all of a sudd—”

“I’m fine.” Harmony cut her off, her strained voice demonstrating in no uncertain terms that she was not interested in talking about the shrieking voice of the Beast within her.

Olivia made a move to sit beside the woman, but the sudden reaction made her stop. It didn’t feel like the best thing to do now. “Right. The book. What is it that you wanted to show me?”

“Right,” Harmony said, her voice shaky. “Yes. This is the Book of Nod, it’s a sort of… vampire bible, I guess you could say? It tells the story of our creation.”

It didn’t take a genius to see that something Olivia said struck a nerve with Harmony, and she wasn’t overfond of seeing her host in this state. She tried to ease the tension with an attempt at humor. “A vampire bible… so… a vible?”

Olivia: [Charisma + Performance, 2 hunger dice, Bestial Faliure] Compulsion Roll: 5 [Dominance] vs Harmony: [Composure + Insight, 3 dice, 5 Successes, Messy Critical] [Perfectionism Compulsion ends]

The sneering hatred of the beast gave way to a deafening, raucous laughter. OH MY GODDESS THAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY, HAHA! Harmony couldn’t help but join in. She fell to the floor laughing, her insides convulsing as her dead lungs tried to keep up with the Beast’s demands for air. The world was spinning. Then, red, and a splatter of something on the floor in front of her. Her insides hurt. She’d laughed so hard that her lungs were screaming in protest. There was something wet on her face. It smelled amazing. Blood. She was coughing up her own vitae.

Harmony: [+1 Superficial Damage, +1 Hunger]

That was a terrible joke. Olivia knew, deep down, that the joke was awful. And yet, and yet she was demonstrably the best at telling jokes. She could take any joke, no matter how bad and spin it into the funniest thing imaginable! “I am simply the funniest. None hold such a mastery of wit and comedy!” We should tell our joke to the Court! To the Prince! That way all may know of our mastery! And then WE will be made Prince!

[Dominance Compulsion ends]

Olivia saw Harmony fall over laughing uncontrollably but when she started coughing up blood and suddenly it no longer felt like fun and games. The sense of smugness and superiority vanished in an instant. “Oh my god! Are you alright?! She rushed to kneel over the woman. “Hey! Hey! Talk to me please, what’s happening?!” She tried her best to ignore the smell of fresh blood. The sweet, sweet smell. No. No! None of that!

Harmony was still giggling while she coughed. Blood dripped down her front. It was all over her shirt. It smelled amazing. She managed to pull herself into a sitting position with some difficulty, gasping in breaths as best she could.

“Hey! Harmony! Look at me! Please, are you al–” The smell hit her nostrils again. The Beast was hungry, it was always hungry, and now it was so close, the smell, she could touch the life-giving liquid if only she reached out with her fingers… No! No! I’m different now! I won’t do it! “You’re… going to need a new shirt I think. Are you alright?”

Olivia: [Rouse check, Success]

Harmony seemed a little dazed as she finally managed to come to her senses. “Oh… it’s everywhere.” She was suddenly keenly aware that Olivia was very close to her, and blushed. She looked away. “Um!”

“I…” She suddenly realized just how close she was to Harmony. Her instinct as a doctor kicked in, but now she was so close and she just couldn't stop herself from blushing too, letting her gaze fall down to the floor to try and hide it. “Sorry, I thought you were hurt and I…” She muttered something but it was more sound than words.

Harmony: [Rouse Check, Failure, +1 Hunger, -1 Superficial Damage]

The Beast resumed its whispered seductions in Harmony’s ear, its voice almost like the sensation of breath against her neck. How disappointing. Hungry, sweetie? Guess you’ll have to have a snack. Do you think she’ll oblige your deviant tastes? If not… well, you know I’m here to help.

Harmony hissed internally. No. Not now.

But the Beast was hungry, and she wasn’t happy to be denied. You’re no fun. Just a dull, boring girl. You’ll bore everyone until they leave you, and then you’ll come crawling back to me. Just you wait.

She stamped the voice down within her. “Give me a moment, I need to get changed.” She looked at the mess on the floor as she pulled herself to her feet. “Ugh, this is going to take a while to clean up.”

It did look pretty bad. And Olivia felt bad for having caused this in the first place. Not to mention if it doesn’t get cleaned up the damned Beast will probably urge me to lick it off the floor. “Do you want some help with that… Cleaning! I meant cleaning! Not the…” Olivia’s face burned bright red at her own stupidity and the mere suggestion. Endowed by the Blush of Life, the sudden color in her cheeks was cute.

Harmony laughed a sort of tired laugh, and nodded gratefully. “That would be so helpful. The cleaning supplies are in the bathroom, just over there.” She waited until Olivia was out of sight, then opened the bookshelf and slipped through. It closed and locked behind her with a click.

Olivia went to retrieve the cleaning supplies from the bathroom and came back. She looked around a bit, but since Harmony was nowhere to be seen, she went about cleaning the mess she’s caused.

After a few minutes, the bookshelf slid aside and Harmony stepped though in a new button up shirt and tie, careful to step away from the bookshelf before Olivia noticed her. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Olivia, but the entrance to her apartment was something she’d only shared with Katherine. She’d even asked her sire to wipe the memories of the workmen who built it, and destroy the plans. She still owed Katherine for that.

Olivia: [Wits + Awareness (Hearing), 6 dice, 2 successes]

Olivia looked around swearing she heard something and looked up from her cleaning to see Harmony standing in front of a bookshelf. “Ah! There you are! All cleaned up then?”

Harmony nodded shakily. “Yes, all’s well.” She held up a mug of blood. She’d prepared a snack from her emergency stash in her haven, this time thankfully in a less embarrassing mug. “Sorry to get myself a refreshment without including you, but I didn’t want to oblige a Ventrue to drink what they can’t stomach.”

Harmony: [-1 Hunger]

”Oh not at all, it is quite alright. I’m not particularly thirsty anyway. I’m sorry for causing a mess. You were trying to show me something, weren’t you?” But you are thirsty. I know it. You know it. Why lie to yourself like that? And the cold muck simply won’t do! That pretty little witch will, though! C’mon, just a little taste!

“Ah! Yes.” Harmony set her mug down, and flipped open the book. It was bookmarked on page 27, the Coming of Lilith, her favorite passage. “So, as I was going to say, this is the Book of Nod. It tells the story of our creation, or at least part of it.” She patted the box she was holding. “This, however, tells the rest.”

“So if this Book of Nod is the bible then this is… an apocrypha?” She pointed to the other box “A new testament? What does it say?” Biblical studies were never something she pursued. She couldn’t even say she really read the Bible, not that it would make much of a difference if she did, by the sound of things.

“The proper literary term would be a parallax. This—” She gently pulled her copy of Revelations of the Dark Mother from its box. Its black faux-leather cover has been ripped off, and it was wrinkled and cracked with water damage. At some point, she needed to rebind this, or make a facsimile. The copy she’d found was a first edition, but its journey staying out of the Camarilla’s pyres had not been kind to it. “…tells the story from another perspective, from that of the witch Lilith, the actual source of our powers.”

Olivia: [Intelligence + Occult, 4 dice, 2 successes]

The name Lilith rattled around Olivia’s mind somewhere. But it was nothing she could recall. “Lilith? Where have I heard that name before? It sounds familiar, but I can’t quite place it. And you’re saying that Lilith was the first vampire?”

“Not… exactly. Lilith was human, the first woman, before she ascended to a near godlike state. She awakened Caine’s blood, and then he betrayed her.” She hesitated, then laughed. “If only my old church could see me now, hell of a thing to grow up Catholic and end up Bahari.” Oh course, her old congregation would probably get hung up on the terms ‘bisexual’ and ‘vampire’ first.

“Alright, so you remember how I said this whole mess with Caine didn’t make any sense to me? No offense, but this doesn’t exactly make things any clearer.” She gave an exasperated sigh. “Ok so. From the top. Lilith wasn’t a vampire, but she made Caine into the first vampire? And then he… what, tried to kill her? And you… worship Lilith? Am I getting this right?”

“Pretty much exactly right. Though… Caine’s crimes against Lilith were worse than you think. The sort of things I won’t repeat.” Her expression was grave. “She cursed him and his Childer for all eternity for that. That’s why I flinched when you called me a Cainite- the proper term for one who embraces Lilith is a Lhaka. Calling me a follower of Caine is… pretty much the worst insult you could have given. But you didn’t know, so I don’t hold it against you.”

“...I see. Alright. I think I understand? So, you’re a Lhaka then. And that’s how I should refer to you. I’m sorry that I have offended you, back at Elysium. So, does this mean that this curse… being a vampire wasn’t some divine punishment, but the punishment from Lilith?” It made a modicum of sense at least. Even if she didn’t quite understand the nuances. But it was still a curse. So did it really matter in the end?

Harmony chuckled. “Well, we Lhaka don’t think of it as a curse. Obviously, perspectives differ, but I wouldn’t have chosen this life if it was really a curse.”

She… chose this? The words rang in Olivia’s mind like an echo bouncing off of cavern walls. “I’m sorry… ‘chosen this life’? What are you talking about? You’re… you’re… that’s… that’s not funny, you know?

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Harmony knew she’d made a mistake. Not everyone chose this life. In fact, few did. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

Olivia: [Composure + Etiquette, 5 dice, 3 successes]

Olivia took a series of deep breaths, doing her best to keep herself from lashing out at Harmony. When she finally spoke, she was shaking. She couldn't bear to look at Harmony, her gaze fallen on the floor. “Alright. Alright. It’s fine. It is not my place to pass judgment on the choices you make. If that is what you wanted, then that’s what you wanted.” She was tense, wound up like a spring. It took all her effort and she still felt like she was ready to snap.

“I’m… I’m so sorry.” She felt like curling inward. She slumped, holding her hands in her lap as she looked away. That was insensitive of her. Katherine’s practices were an oddity. Most vampires had no choice, or warning. “Sometimes I forget that not everyone had as gentle an Embrace as I did.”

“Yeah… no. Not everyone. Not…” A bloody tear rolled down Olivia’s face. It was quickly joined by another. She couldn’t stop it. She didn’t really think about it now.

Harmony offered her a tissue box, unsure of what to say. How could she comfort her? She was just making this worse. “I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m so sorry.”

Olivia took the tissue, but still didn’t look at Harmony, the sight of the brunette felt like too much to bear. She didn’t know what to say, only mumbling something as bloody tears kept rolling down her face, turning it into a macabre mask.

Harmony: [Heightened Senses] [Wits + Awareness + Auspex, 5 dice, 3 successes]

She kept mumbling the same words over and over, like some cursed mantra. “He…. why… he.. It. Why… me?” Tears were rolling down her face. A fair few ended up falling on the floor. She didn’t care. It was as if Harmony, her store, this room, simply didn’t exist. Instead that horrific memory playing out in her mind like something straight out of a horror movie. The same few flashes of terror. And then nothing, before it started all over again, like someone hit a replay button on a media player.

Unsure of what to do, Harmony slowly, hesitantly, reached out and pulled Olivia into a hug. She extended her powers to her, inverting the power of auspex: rather than sharpen the senses, she aimed to numb them, and offer a balm against the horrors of the Night.

Harmony: [Obeah] [Rouse Check, Success] [Composure + Auspex, 6 dice, 7 Successes, Critical Success] Olivia: [-2 Aggravated Willpower Damage]

Olivia’s breathing steadied, and despite everything she felt just a moment ago, she seemed calm. Almost too calm. She finally looked up at Harmony, the macabre mask of her blood-stained face hiding a pair of sad, dead eyes. “I guess I really am bad at keeping things to myself, aren’t I?”

Olivia: [Wits + Occult, 2 dice, 2 successes] vs Harmony: [Manipulation + Occult, 4 dice, 3 successes]

“You had my number since the first time, huh?” She continued wearily, oblivious of the supernatural influence affecting her. Hesitantly, almost afraid, she returned the hug.

“I’m so sorry. Is he… I mean, are you… free from him? Is he gone?” For Harmony, the idea of fearing her sire was utterly alien, but clearly that wasn’t the case for Olivia.

Her voice was steady, but still clearly strained. “No. He was still alive last I’ve heard. And he’s not the type to let his… property go.”

“That’s awful. I can’t imagine…” She trailed off. “I’m so sorry. I never realized… I suppose my story must be like a slap in the face…”

“It’s a lot to take in, you know? That someone could be the exact opposite of what I went through. But it’s not over. He’ll come looking for me, eventually.” It was too much to look at her. “And there's very few options for how that ends. It’s a point of pride for him. He’ll never let me go.”

Harmony hated the inevitability of that statement. She couldn’t let that stand unchallenged. “I’ve heard the Ventrue can be possessive but… fuck. I… if there’s anything I can do to help…”

“Short of killing him, there’s nothing anyone can do. I sure can’t fight an elder. No offense, but I doubt you could either.” She looked at Harmony again. “Look… Harmony. You’re a nice woman. I… I don’t want to get you tangled up in my mess. I’ve hurt enough people already.” You’ve left them. “I don’t want you to become another person I’ve hurt.”

The brunette shook her head. “I… Olivia. I chose to be Embraced to help people. If I just take this power and turn away from someone who needs me, what’s the point?”

Hmm, like you did with your mother? Don’t torture yourself over it, sweetie, the Beast cooed in her ear. Just take care of what matters: You and me, in this together.

Harmony shuddered. “Surely there’s something I can do.”

“But what? He’s got power. He’s got money. He’s got people.” You used to have people too. “And I don’t.” They would have fought for you. But you left them! “I’ve got nothing.” You threw it all away! “I’m too weak to fight him.” Do you even remember their names? Ralph, Sophia, Lambert. I could never forget. “All I can do is run.”

Something was wrong, Harmony could tell. Olivia was shaking, her blood endowed breathing was becoming ragged and unsteady, and her words were said with the feverish fervor of a madman giving prophecy. “Olivia? Are you alright?”

They still remember yours. They can never forget it either. "But I can never run far enough.” And they’ll make you pay for it. You did this all to yourself… ‘Ventrue’. The Beast snarled in her mind, each word, each accusation feeling like a lash against her flesh. And all of them are true. She couldn’t deny any of them. They were all true.

“Olivia! What’s wrong?!” She was sure there was something wrong, but she didn’t know what to do besides shout for her, try to focus her on the present.

Harmony’s voice seemed like it was coming from underwater against her Beast’s relentless tirade. It took effort to focus on her words, let alone respond to them “I… It’s nothing.” She mumbled to herself again. “Ventrue… What a joke.”

“Olivia, please, talk to me.” Harmony was desperate now. “You’re not well. What’s wrong?”

Olivia took a deep breath. “It’s nothing. I’ll be fine.” That’s a lie. We both know that. “Thank you, Harmony. But I think I’ve taken enough of your time. I still need to get home before dawn.” But there was still an obligation she had to make good on. She took out a pocket notebook, wrote down her address and phone number, ripped the page out and placed it on the table.

“Wait.” Harmony hesitated for a moment as Olivia turned back toward her, pausing in the threshold of the door. “I understand if you don’t want to talk further, but I want to offer you two things.”

She didn’t want to stop. She wanted to leave, go back to her haven. “What things?”

Harmony looked away. “If you ever want to come back to talk, or even just to read—” She motioned toward the books she’d brought down. “—you’re welcome to. Even if my behavior today wasn’t exactly… becoming, I really do enjoy your company.”

“Thanks. But if anyone was acting unbecoming, it was me.” She looked at the boxes. The offer was nice. She’d thought she’d like to learn more about all of this. If for no other reason than to stop herself from making any more glaring errors. “I suppose I should help you put these back in place. You said there were two things?”

“Yes. I want you to meet Katherine. I know you two met in passing at Elysium, but… I think she can help.” It was true. Katherine was powerful. If anyone could stop a raging Ventrue elder, it was her— even the Clan of Kings was helpless against a lightning bolt to the face.

This didn’t feel like a good idea. Frau Ithaca seemed like someone she wanted to avoid. Olivia didn’t trust elders. She saw no reason to trust this one either. “I… don’t think that’s a good idea. She seemed very cross with me back then. I don’t want you to get in trouble with her because of me.”

Harmony shook her head quickly. “Oh, that’s… she wouldn’t. Really. She’s just protective. Katherine is a good person, she’s…” She trailed off again. “She’s very important to me. I really do mean it, she can help!”

“I… I’ll… think about it. I really don’t think it’s a good idea. But I’ll think about it.” She forced a smile. “But I’m glad that you have a good relationship with her. It’s enviable”

Harmony opened her mouth to say something, then closed it wordlessly, unsure what to say.

“Thanks, Harmony. I mean it. You’re a good person. And there's far too few of those these days. If you want, give your sire my regards… and my apologies.” Harmony seemed nothing but kind to her. Why? She had no reason to. And yet here she was, offering help, and seemingly asking for nothing in return? It felt wrong. There had to be an ulterior motive, every vampire had one. Seemingly every one, except her.

“Thank you. It means a lot that you’d say that.” Harmony slowly extended a hand. “So… friends?”

Olivia looked at Harmony's hand. She was hesitant, but she took it, carefully, like she was afraid the other woman would run away if she got too close. Or maybe that she herself would. When the words left her lips, they were barely a whisper. “Friends.”

But her Beast would have none of that. You’ll abandon her like you did the others.

Harmony’s Beast sounded in her ear as well. Friends? Don’t make me laugh. I’m the only friend you have.

#vtm #vampire the masquerade #vtm oc #tremere #“ventrue”#Harmony Adams #Olivia Heller #Formatting is slightly fucky in places and I am trying my best to fix it but this site is fighting me TOOTH AND NAIL and I don't think #its fixable bc every time i fix a problem another one appears so just ignore the randomly miscolored letters idk what to do about them #Harmony and Olivia's Bitey Bite Hijinks

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rafey-baby · 3 months ago

Text

sweet treat 5

shy!reader really wants to tell construction worker!rafe how she feels but what if he doesn’t feel the same?

18+ mdni!

c/w: the L-word, mostly fluff, reader being an overthinker & getting a little jealous, pda

wc: 2.3k

hi! this is the last part of sweet treat (might write some extras but i make no promises) & just wanted to say how much i appreciate everyone who reads my stuff. the first part was my first proper piece of writing i posted on this blog and i was overjoyed by the warm welcome and all the kind comments, asks & reblogs (nothing goes unnoticed by me!) so thank u so so much for being so lovely <33

hope you enjoy xx

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s been exactly two weeks since she came to terms with the fact that she’s in love with him.

She hasn’t been able to sleep all that well and has tried her very best to avoid Rafe, albeit fruitlessly since he insists on driving her home from work every day and on top of that, he often invites himself over to her house or asks for her to stay the night at his; not accepting her excuses about being tired and having to wake up early.

“Why don’t we just…be tired and wake up early together, then?” his grin is playful when he argues with her reasoning. And how is she meant to refuse that?

And if all that wasn’t already suffocating her, of course he’s now helping with the renovation of the cafe since her boss wanted to expand the business; make the small coffee shop into a bigger one in hopes of more space for new tables and seats because the amount of clients they got was beginning to be too much for everyone to comfortably enjoy their stay.

Therefore, she now has to practically work in the same building as him every single day because the renovation work isn’t disturbing the current cafe from running nor decreasing the number of customers with a sweet tooth or a craving for their usual morning coffee from strutting in.

This wouldn’t be a problem, if Rafe wasn’t walking around all sweaty and dusty, biceps bulging whenever he’d lift wooden planks over his shoulder or carry around different equipment; looking as attractive as ever.

And with these newfound lovey-dovey feelings trying to break through the surface, she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to stop herself from ogling him or keep her rapid heartbeats to herself whenever he wanders over to chat with her on his breaks.

She tries to act as normal as she can, but she can tell that he’s picking up on her excessive rambling and stuttering, flushed cheeks and anxious fingers fixing her hair every two seconds whenever he’s talking to her.

She’s certain he can see right through her, knows that she’s hiding something. She can practically see how he wants to bring it up more often than not but seemingly hasn’t found the right way to approach the subject yet and she can sense that she’s running out of time; can’t tolerate lying to him for much longer.

She’s been thinking this whole thing through over and over, to the point of her head hurting as she bakes Rafe’s favorite lemon raspberry cookies as a distraction and because he’s been working so hard and she wants to surprise him; see the soft smile that makes the whole world glitter whenever he graces her with it.

She wants to tell him, wants him to know how deeply she feels for him, how much she appreciates him but every time she tries to open her mouth, the words seem to evaporate before they’ve even begun to sprout on her nervous tongue.

What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if this is all just a casual thing for him and she’s making it into something more than it is? These bleak thoughts turn her mood sour; a pout forming on her lips as she concentrates on topping the flamingo pink icing covering their most popular vanilla cupcakes with fresh blueberries.

As she’s taking out Rafe’s cookies out the oven, she comes to the conclusion that she has two options; she either tells him she’s in love with him or she doesn’t. If she tells him, there’s a very high possibility of him looking at her with a crease between his brows and words about not wanting for this to be anything serious hitting her against the face.

And if she doesn’t tell him, then…well she doesn’t really have anything to lose, does she? Except maybe the what ifs haunting her for the rest of eternity.

She tries to get rid of these tormenting thoughts with a shake of her head as she sets the cookies off to cool down and begins to place the finished cupcakes onto the display counter, trying her hardest to forget about it all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Later that day when Rafe is contently munching on the cookies she plated for him and happily distracting her from work, someone approaches the counter; a girl with glossy lips and shiny hair.

“Hi, could I get a mango matcha latte, please?” Her eyes are as green as grass as she places her order.

“Of course, would you like it with ice or no ice?”

“With ice, please,” she answers in a friendly manner.

“Coming right up,” she gives the girl a polite smile when her payment goes through.

“You’re working on the renovation?” The girl’s attention then turns towards Rafe, making Y/N’s gaze flicker over to them as she puts blended mango into the bottom of a tall glass.

“Yeah, the cafe’s gon’ be twice as big as it’s now,” his gravelly voice drawls, putting the half-eaten baked good down.

“That’s so cool, I’ve always wondered how construction workers are so strong. Do you go to the gym a lot?” A saccharine voice reaches Y/N’s ears, making her brows furrow as she’s measuring the right amount of matcha powder and trying to appear nonchalant.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. Also think my workdays sometimes count as workouts,” he scratches the back of his head as she lets out a giggle. It wasn’t that funny, Y/N thinks with a roll of her eyes.

“Hey, I was actually wondering if maybe you’d wanna hang out sometime? Could give you my number?”

Something muddy swirls in her stomach at the girl’s straightforward question. She doesn’t appreciate the fact that she’s blatantly hitting on Rafe right in front of her. Even if she’s well aware that they’re not together and the girl probably assumed they were just friends, which they are.

However, she can’t prevent herself from turning grumpy from the mere notion of him being interested in someone else. After all, the girl is stunning and she wouldn’t really blame him if he wanted to at least consider her offer.

“Nah, I’m actually not available right now,” he offers an apologetic smile when the girl’s shoulders slump.

“No? That’s a shame. Well, let me know when that changes?” She gives him a flirty smile that makes Y/N quietly scoff as she pours the milk into the mix.

“It’s not changing anytime soon,” she mutters under her breath, making both of them turn their heads towards her.

“Sorry?” The girl asks, muted jade settling on her suddenly tense form. Fuck, did she really say that out loud?

“Oh, um— just that…here’s your drink,” she peeps out, feeling Rafe’s eyes burning into the side of her face as she sticks a paper straw into the beverage; the ice cubes clinking together when she hands it out to her.

“Right, thanks,” she says looking over to Rafe once more, seemingly expecting him to give her an answer of his own.

“Uh…yeah, what she said. Not changing anytime soon,” his grin is wide, making the girl’s cheeks flush as she hurriedly leaves.

And when it’s just the two of them again, she flits her eyes down, busying herself with a wooden container of tea bags she’s trying to organize, not wanting to face him.

“What was, uh…what was that about?” His tone is teasing, an annoying smirk playing along his features.

“Nothing,” she quickly dismisses, avoiding his gaze.

“Nothing? You’re telling me you weren’t just really fucking jealous two seconds ago?”

“N—no,” she can’t even convince herself with the pitiful denial.

“Don’t worry, I’m all yours, alright?” He chuckles as he stuffs the rest of the cookie down his maw.

“How did you know I was craving these, by the way?” He asks around the mouthful as she tries to brush aside the sudden tingle in her ribcage and the blush dusting over her cheeks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

A few days later when her shift is coming to an end, her other coworker already beginning to take orders and telling her she’s free to go, she drags Rafe behind the counter and practically forces him to taste test a new recipe she’s tried out; a walnut carrot cake with lime buttercream.

“Wow, this is…amazing. The lime gives this fresh sourness to the frosting, it’s so good,” his voice is muffled by his chewing and her heart warms in response to his detailed commentary, never one to shy away from showering her in compliments.

“You think so? I actually added the lime just cause I know how much you like citrus fruits so, I’m really glad you like it,” she beams up at him.

“Yeah? Made this just for me, huh? Can I ask why I’m getting this special treatment all of a sudden?” His tone is playful, tongue licking over his bottom lip to clean up the bit of icing lingering there.

“Well, cause I love you and—” she blurts out and then her entire body tenses; mouth hanging open in shock and wide eyes slowly moving to look at him, trying to verify whether he heard it or not. Of course he did. She wasn’t exactly quiet now, was she?

“You…you love me?” His brows raise in surprise.

“Uh…I— I didn’t mean to…I mean, you probably don’t feel the same so doesn’t really matter. Just— um...just forget I said that. I don’t know why I—”

“What are you talking about? You think I spend most of my time with you cause I…what? Dislike you? You can be so silly sometimes, you know?” He scoffs, setting the golden fork down on the porcelain plate.

She stays silent.

“What I’m saying is that I’m obsessed with you. I mean, you’re even in my fucking dreams, right? But listen, love has always been a little…tricky for me to grasp onto cause my relationship with my family has always been…complicated? But if me wanting to spend every second of my day with you means I love you too then, shit, maybe I do. But I need some time before I can really say that shit, you get that?” His words are honest and raw and she thinks her rattling heart is going to beat out of her chest.

“Oh. I— um…yeah, of course. Take all the time you need,” she finally manages out.

“Hey, c’mere,” he says before he’s practically dragging her dumbfounded form into his embrace; beefy arms pushing her flush against his chest with a steadying grip on her waist.

“I mean, we’re basically already dating at this point, no? Wasn’t sure how to make it official without freaking you out but since you love me, I think you’re all good, yeah?”

She croons something incoherent in response.

“So, wanna be my little girlfriend or what?” He asks into her hair.

“I— of course I do,” she mumbles against his shirt.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” She hums before he tucks an index finger under her chin and raises her face to look up at him; thumb toying with her bottom lip before he’s leaning down and smearing a sloppy kiss against her mouth.

“Shit, you’re so cute. Just wanna swallow you whole sometimes,” he murmurs with a soft smile tugging at his lips and blue hydrangeas twinkling with something syrupy in them.

“I love you,” she mumbles, almost inaudible; words still too tender to consciously say out loud.

“Say it again,” he practically demands.

“Um…I love you,” her voice is nearly a whisper.

“What was that? Think you can say it a little louder?” He teases.

“Rafe, stop…you’re embarrassing me,” she whines, cheeks coloring over with a strawberry hue.

“No, I’m not. Just wanna hear you say it,” his smirk is all big and smug and it makes her huff.

“ILOVEYOU, okay?” The words mesh together like fluffy clouds in the sky and her volume is louder than he’s probably ever heard it, a couple of curious heads turn to look at them, the lively chatter around them quieting down some.

“Yeah? You guys heard that? She loves me!” He’s nearly shouting, looking around with a stupid grin on his face, making her flush and hide behind her hands as a few customers cheerfully titter in entertainment.

“Congrats, dude!” Someone even yells.

“Oh my god, Rafe. Why would you do that?” Her mortified eyes widen as she crouches down; trying to find shelter from behind the pale-yellow counter. “I’m never leaving my house again,” she complains with a glare.

He doesn’t seem to be all that bothered by the whole thing, simply chuckling with dimples denting his cheeks; the light-hearted sound making her stomach flutter despite the humiliation crawling up her spine and making her want to vanish into the cracks on the floorboards.

“Of course you are. I’m your boyfriend now which means I’m taking you out on a date tomorrow, yeah?” He lifts her up with a grip on her waist, pulling her flush against him as his devious fingertips slip underneath the hem of her shirt, smoothing over her bare stomach and making her let out a squeak.

Then he’s grasping her jaw in one hand and pressing his mouth on hers once again; her protests withering away like a dead rose when he slips his tongue past her lips, dragging out an involuntary whimper from her.

She pulls away, hiding her face in his chest when she can feel multiple pairs of eyes staring at them.

“Rafe, can we just go already?” She pleads with her voice small before he’s guiding her out of the coffee shop with a big palm resting on her back, calming her down some.

And despite the little scene he just caused, she thinks she might just be the happiest girl on the island as he helps her climb into his truck with a honeyed kiss warming the apple of her cheek.

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