#they finally sent me a code for the beta

[merrycrisis-if]

Merry Crisis everyone!

Thank you for being an absolutely wonderful, lovely community. I'm so grateful to everyone who has played/read the IF, left a comment or message, given me super detailed, amazing beta-testing feedback or all the other ways you've supported the IF.

Happy holidays! <3

Amazing festive graphics specially created for Merry Crisis and the holiday season by @crxwes. (Thank you again, you are the best!! <3)

Wanted to share some progress on the text-based IF and the visual novel assets!

Text-based IF:

Writing of the new chapter (where Nat arrives in Singapore and when one has a final date with Shay/Qiu before needing to commit in the following chapter) is complete, and has been sent off to beta-testers!

Release dates:

Ko-fi supporters, non-beta-tested version - 28 Dec Ko-fi supporters, beta-tested version - 1 Jan Public release - 7 Jan

Visual novel:

Progress for writing and art has been steady! I have a team of super amazing, talented artists (@crxwes, @gncrezan, Silvia and Fie). Some amazing characters and backgrounds have been created so far! Here's a sneak preview :)

Shout-out also to @dumplingcatho (for the wonderful character portraits), and @snowthornes (for helping with the coding). Y'all are awesome.

[larkingame]

hi friends! i hope you're doing well :) with all the great big changes to larkin, I'm putting in a final call for beta-testers and readers for both the five chapter demo-version of larkin to be released on April 29th, 2024 and the final version of larkin to be released on April 29th, 2025.

apologies I'm putting out another form, the first call went through and ran into some creator-error as a lot of the contact information got muddled, so i wanted to put forth a new call hoping to hear from testers old and new. I'm looking for about 25-30 players, as Larkin has grown significantly in chapters (20+ chapters) with several major plot routes and romance routes added, so I need a lot of thoughts and feedback on it.

if you could do me a favor and fill out this form, I'll be responding early next week.

*note, if you've already been selected as a beta-tester previously, don't worry! I'll be shooting you a message within the next few days.*

Larkin: Resurrection is the first in a series of text-adventure games that relies heavily on player choice. A vampire western, the game takes place in the fictional town of Larkin, Nevada, where you the player step into the shoes of the player character--or The Preacher. The Preacher, apprentice to the prolific vampire hunter, Wyatt Abrams, and one of the last remaining survivors of the Vampire-Hunting Cult, The Abrams Family, is suddenly thrust into the position of Town Preacher for Larkin. Demons from the players past seem to chase the Preacher--only made worse when the local mine explodes--and you're at the center of the conspiracy.   Larkin is rated 18+ for themes of gore, violence, religious trauma and sexual implicity.  The demo of the game will be released, April 29th 2024, with the slated release for the final version of the game, April 29th of 2025. Once betas are selected, the demo version of the game will be sent to players April 1st, 2024 -- testers will have one month to go through the text and collect feedback.  Playtesters and beta-readers will be tasked with playing through and reading the content of the game, testing for coding errors, and giving thoughts/feedback on their personal experiences with the text of the game. Testers will be selected based on experience, and willingness to explore different avenues and choices of the game.  

[burning-academia-if]

Hello, I am mostly back and recovered at the time of writing this lol. June wasn't very productive writing wise (...for BA), which is fine because I needed that break! Look at everything I did do in June:

RELEASED CHAPTER 2 FINALLY

Spent like 2 weeks fixing bugs (dw chapter 3 I'll get beta readers so it doesn't happen again LOL)

Participated in the Raffle for Palestine + wrote and sent out the story to the winner!

Wrote about 5k words of Chapter 3

Wrote and edited Zoe's back story

Wrote most of Lars back story because I was inspired (sorry you won't get this until after Chapter 3 drops)

I'm pretty happy to have released Chapter 2! I'm gonna be honest, this felt like such a daunting release lol When I started BA, I was expecting no one to read it save for a handful of people and I'd just be chilling and writing mostly for myself like usual, so releasing it with over 1.5k followers was very daunting. With that said, I am glad people overall enjoyed the new chapter! The plan is for Chapter 3 not to take as long, but life is still hectic so we'll see. At the very least, it hopefully won't be any later then October (BA's one year anniversary month!).

I also just want to give another shout out to everyone who participated in the raffle for Palestine! Raising over two thousand euros in two weeks is still amazing to me, and I'm happy the IF community could come together like this to help out a cause! This was lowkey another thing I was nervous about since I've never really done anything that's felt like a personal commission before (asks definitely feel different lol), but other then my initial nerves the whole thing was a really nice experience!

Now, going into July, I want to focus on the UI updates I want to make. I have some things I want to shift around and change, and since coding is my biggest weakness I know it's one of those things I'm going to have to focus on. If things go well, I'm hoping to do a pure UI update by August. It'll mostly be the menu pages (achievements/stats/relationships/etc), but there are a few other things I want to add in and adjust outside of it. As for Zoe's backstory, that should be out soon, so keep an eye out of that! Finally, I also might not be too active in July. For personal reasons, July is always a hard month for me. Hopefully it isn't obvious, but just in case I'm not around as much as usual, that's why!

OH and before I forget, here's this month's chapter preview ft Angry Rook:

Lastly, I made the questionable decision to make a side IF. Updates will be very sporadic since BA is and will always be my main project until its completion. But if you want to follow it, it's To Taste Sweet Silver. An 18+ gaslamp fantasy about trying to steal the Fruit of the Old Gods in order to bring the world to an end. It's a little more niche I think, but feel free to check it out! The demo shouldn't take too long to get out since I did accidentally write most of opening already.

[wild-karrde]

In Command - Part 20

Master List | Previous Part | Next Part

A/N: An update while on vacation? Sure why not. As always, thank you to the phenomenal @teletraan-meets-jarvis for beta-reading for me!

Chapter Rating: E (18+ minors skeedaddle)

Warnings: explicit sexual content (PiV sex, oral sex, cum eating, fingering), language

Word Count: 8.5k words

“That cake was AMAZING!”

“Wrecker, we’re all honestly surprised you tasted it at all with how fast you ate it,” Hunter teased.

“Yeah, I think you’ve scarred some of those service droids for life,” Senna joked.

“Did you see the one? Wrecker almost took his arm off!” Echo was laughing so hard tears were pricking at his eyes now, and Senna joined him, doubling over in the middle of the hall as they walked back to their rooms. Maybe it was the wine or just the relief of being safe with full bellies, but either way, the mood had lifted significantly among the group. Even Tech was smiling and engaging in conversation rather than ignoring everyone in favor of his datapad. 

Wrecker shrugged. “I was hungry, and they were in the way.”

“Perhaps you should keep in mind that they are also responsible for preparing your food, Wrecker. Threatening them may not be the best idea,” Tech pointed out, and even Rex snorted in amusement at that. 

“Was that a joke, Tech?” Senna teased. 

The goggled clone blinked at her, and Senna swore he was trying to stifle a grin. 

“Take it as you wish.” 

Their laughter echoed down the halls as they returned to the wing of the palace they were staying in, dying off as they all bid each other good night and returned to their rooms. 

“Try to get some sleep,” Echo murmured to Senna, and she shoved him, her face heating. He chuckled, moving off down the hall to his door. 

Rex leaned against the wall as she punched the unlock code into the keypad for their room. “What was that about?”

Senna shrugged, blowing her hair out of her face as the door slid open. “Just Echo saying good night.” 

She didn’t look at him, but she could hear his huff of a laugh, could practically feel his smirk as he slipped his hand into the small of her back, gently ushering her into the room. 

Senna strode to the center of the bedroom, suddenly nervous for reasons she couldn’t understand. She turned to watch Rex lock the door behind them before he met her eyes. The only sound was their breathing as they stared at one another, seemingly unsure of where to start, paralyzed by choice with nothing inhibiting either of them this time. 

Where do I even begin? There’s so much I want. 

And nothing will stop me from taking it. 

It was strange to think that Senna had been afraid of having this, having the person she’d wanted so desperately with all of her feelings reciprocated. The rest of the galaxy fell away outside of the door, and Senna’s entire universe shrank to the size of the bedroom with Rex at the center of it all. 

Fuck, I love him so much. 

Mercifully, Rex moved first, closing the gap between them with a measured patience that sent need coursing through Senna. He cradled her face, and she felt herself melt into his touch as he smiled down at her with darkening eyes. 

“I believe I made you a promise,” he rumbled. “And now I have all night to fulfill it.” 

Senna felt herself tremble with excitement as he leaned down to kiss her, working his lips gently against hers as his hands slid to her waist. It wasn’t until he slipped his hands under her shirt, his calloused palms grazing her skin that she finally felt some of her wits return to her, enough for her to not let him take the lead entirely. Her tongue grazed his bottom lip, and he groaned, permitting her entrance as his grip on her tightened. Senna allowed him to back her against a wall, letting out a small grunt when her shoulderblades bumped into the hard surface. Rex made no apology, instead slotting his knee in between her legs as he pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it somewhere to be forgotten. Senna ground against him desperately as her fingers dug into the back of his neck. She whined as his lips left hers, moving along her jawline to her neck. He left one mark, and then another, sucking bruises into her skin where her clothing would cover as his hands worked at her breastband, removing it as well and flinging it aside. 

His hands were immediately on her breasts, cradling them before tugging gently on her nipples just enough to make Senna gasp. She felt his mouth curl into a smile against her skin at her response, and for whatever reason, some of her competitive edge resurfaced. She pushed him back from her, relishing in his confusion before she spun him against the wall, effectively swapping places. 

“You are far too clothed,” she rasped, pulling at his shirt eagerly. Rex’s grin returned as he helped her slip the garment over his head. 

“Can’t have that now, can we?” he teased. 

“I think I made you some sort of promise too,” Senna whispered as she nipped at his collarbone, her fingers tracing the bandage on his chest. “If it’s not too much.” 

She felt Rex shudder slightly under her touch. “I don’t recall you promising anything.”

“Then let me refresh your memory,” she whispered directly into his ear, nipping at the lobe before she trailed kisses down his neck and chest, sinking to her knees in front of him. Rex inhaled sharply, and when she met his eyes, they were blown wide. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

“I… would you believe me if I told you I dreamed about this?” 

Her fingers found his belt, undoing the clasp as she kept her eyes on his. 

“Sounds like I’ve got a lot to live up to.” 

He cupped her chin, his thumb pushing against her lower lip as he frantically helped her undo his trousers with his other hand. 

“You’ve already exceeded it in every way, Sen.” 

She kissed the pad of his thumb, blushing under his gaze. Rex caught his lip between his teeth as she freed his cock, stroking it a few times. She adjusted such that the head grazed against her bare breasts, dragging her thumb over the head and spreading the precum leaking from the tip over the flushed skin. 

“I’ve dreamt of this too,” she whispered, pressing closer so that she could kiss Rex’s bare hip teasingly. His muscles flexed as he jerked towards her with a sharp inhale. “Wondered what you tasted like, how you’d feel against my tongue, what sounds you’d make.” She blew against the tip, and Rex whined. 

“Senna, please.”

She grinned wickedly. “I thought we had all night.”

Before Rex could retort, she wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock and sucked gently, savoring the taste and warmth of him as she flicked her tongue against any sensitive spot she could find. Rex’s head thunked against the wall as he unleashed a curse, his hand still gently cradling her face. Senna smiled, running her tongue along the bottom of his length, tracing the vein she could feel there. 

“Fuck,” Rex groaned. 

Slowly, Senna worked Rex further into her mouth, fighting against her gag reflex and the ache of her jaw as she took him deeper with each bob of her head, her fingers wrapped around the length she couldn’t yet reach. She’d never taken anyone as large as Rex in her mouth before, but the way he was sweating and moaning was addicting, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever tire of the sight of Rex, muscles flexing, jaw clenched, eyes locked on her as she allowed him deeper each pass. When her nose finally met the curls at the base of his cock, she swallowed, and Rex’s hands flew to her head as he gasped. 

“Maker alive, do that again. Oh gods, please do that again.” 

Every thought she’d have of taking her time flew from her mind as she heard his plea. She wanted to shatter Rex. 

Tears streamed from Senna’s eyes, but a thrill shot through her at seeing her lover doubled over, gasping and whining and begging for her. She obliged, fighting harder against her gag reflex, practically choking herself on him. Rex’s fingers tightened in her hair, but he didn’t hold her down or press her further. His control only made her want more. Senna pushed her face against Rex hard enough to pin him against the wall, and she drove his cock so far into her throat that she knew she’d be hoarse in the morning, but it was worth hearing Rex whimper and feel his control finally start to slip. 

“Sen, I don’t want-”

Senna released him with a gasp, panting as she pumped him quickly. Strings of saliva connected her lips to him still. 

“Rex, I want to taste it,” she rasped. “Please let me taste you. Give it to me.” 

He swore again as she took him to the back of her throat once more before she began to bob up and down, swallowing when she was able to. Her cunt was screaming for attention, and she slid a hand between her legs as her lips went numb around Rex’s length. She glanced up at him through watery eyes and almost came from the sight of him alone.

The captain was wrecked. Sweat slicked his skin as he did his best to focus on her through hooded lids. Broken curses and stuttered praises poured from between his lips as he watched her, and she relished in every second of it. His abdomen flexed in front of her eyes, and she felt his cock twitch against her tongue. She knew she was close to claiming her prize. 

“S-Sen, I-I…”

She wrapped her hand around him, twisting firmly as her knuckles followed her lips, her fingers growing slick with her own saliva. 

“Oh, f-fuck, Senna.”

Rex came hard, coating Senna’s tongue in warm stickiness. She swallowed everything he gave her, flicking her tongue over the tip of him to clean him off until he shuddered.

“S���too much,” he mumbled. “T-too much.” 

Rex leaned down and kissed her, sinking to the floor along with her, but never releasing his hold on her face as he practically pulled her into his lap, panting against her lips. She kissed him back fervently, grinding her soaked cunt against his thigh again, desperate for any friction. 

“That was… so fucking good,” Rex gasped. He pulled her against him, resting his forehead against hers as he fought to regain his breath. His fingers stroked her bare spine. “Was it ok?”

She giggled against his mouth. “It was perfect. I told you I wanted to taste you like that. From the source.” 

Rex’s eyes had darkened again. 

“Well, it’s only fair that I return the favor then.” 

With a strength and swiftness that drew a surprised whoop from Senna, Rex scooped her into his arms, nearly tackling her backwards onto the bed in three strides. His hand cradled her head as she fell against the mattress, panting as his mouth worked down her body, anticipation sending shivers down her spine. His fingers hooked into her trousers pulling them and her undergarments off in one swift tug. He kicked the rest of the way out of his pants, kneeling at the edge of the bed as his lips reached the inside of her thigh. In between panting breaths, he scooped under Senna’s ass, hauling her to the edge of the bed and pulling one leg over his shoulder. Senna shuddered as his breath hit her warm, wet cunt in a huff that almost felt like a sigh. 

“Beautiful,” he breathed. 

Senna’s skin broke out in goosebumps as he nuzzled the inside of her thigh, biting softly against the tender flesh until she whined. 

“Don’t tease,” she gasped. 

There wasn’t a single glimmer of mercy in Rex’s gaze as he looked up at Senna from between her spread legs. “I thought you said we had all night, love.” 

Senna couldn’t tear her eyes away from Rex as he stuck two fingers into his mouth, keeping his eyes locked on hers as he gently withdrew them, running them along the soaked lips of her cunt. She whimpered again, her fingers gripping the duvet hard enough to drain the blood from them. Rex smirked. 

“I’ve looked forward to this.” 

“Well I wouldn’t want you to deprive yourself any longer,” Senna gritted out, her brow furrowing as she tried to bite back another whimper. 

Rex grinned triumphantly before leaning down and licking into her. Senna’s back arched off the bed as his fingers slid into her, immediately finding the spongy place inside her and pressing against it. Rex’s other hand gripped her thigh, holding her firmly in place as his mouth explored her. Sometimes he removed his fingers, using them to instead apply pressure to her clit as his tongue prodded into her. Then, as her orgasm built, he’d swap back, leaving her huffing in frustration until he plunged his fingers back inside of her, sucking at her sensitive bundle of nerves. 

His mouth was heaven, and before long, Senna found herself grinding back up to meet his tongue. Rex relaxed his grip on her hip, groaning into her as she clenched around him. 

“You going to cum for me, pretty girl?” he mumbled into her folds. 

“P-please. Please let me, Rex.”

“I want to taste it.” 

He redoubled his effort until it felt like every nerve ending in Senna’s body was stretched taut, ready to snap. When she glanced down between her knees, electricity licked up her spine. Rex was stroking himself as he devoured her, his cock hardening again in his hand as he worshiped her on his knees. 

“Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease,” she begged. “Don’t stop. Right there.”

The wet smacking sound of Rex devouring her echoed between her pants and moans, and finally, Rex gave her what she wanted, snapping the tension as Senna came with a scream that poured out between her clenched teeth. She rode out the aftershocks, drifting through her haze until Rex’s damp lips pressed against hers once more. 

His knees were pressing hers further apart, and she wrapped her legs around him. 

“Tell me what you want, Senna,” he whispered against the shell of her ear. “I’ll give you anything.” 

This time, Senna had a response. “I want it all, Rex. Everything. I want you. I need you inside me.” She kissed him back, tasting her own release on his tongue. “I love you. Fuck I love you.” 

He rested his forehead against hers as his cock caught at her entrance. Calloused hands cradled her face as he pushed into her, slowly stretching her to accommodate him. 

“I love you, Senna. F-fuck. You feel so good. So good for me.”

Senna’s fingers wrapped around the back of Rex’s neck as she buried her face in his shoulder, sighing into his skin as he bottomed out inside of her. 

“All for you, Rex. All yours.” 

“And I’m yours.” 

Rex pulled her apart slowly, adjusting his hips and noting how Senna whined and writhed beneath him. She should have guessed he’d be meticulous, but his patience drove her wild. Desperation clouded her senses, and she couldn’t understand how he fucked her so methodically, so patiently, carefully crafting her orgasm while she clawed at his back. She came again, trying to muffle her screams in his shoulder, but Rex was having none of it. 

“I want to hear it all, Senna.” 

“B-but what about the others?”

“Door’s got a soundproof setting when locked,” he rasped. “I’m selfish. I want all of your sounds just for me.” 

That was all the encouragement Senna needed as Rex put his hands behind her knees, folding her in half and driving his cock back into her, bringing her another orgasm in a matter of minutes. She had no doubt he meant to make good on his promise as he moved her again, molding her malleable body to his liking. All of the possibilities that had overwhelmed her had also apparently been bouncing around in Rex’s mind, and he seemed intent on checking every box in one evening. He took her on her side with one leg hooked over his hip, he lifted her into his lap as though she weighed nothing, spearing her on his cock, and when she felt as though she couldn’t possibly orgasm again in this lifetime without spontaneously combusting, he rolled her onto her hands and knees, taking her from behind. 

Her cunt was swollen and she knew she’d feel sore in the morning, and her throat felt raw from crying out Rex’s name. Sweat slicked both of their skin, and the sheets stuck to them, damp from their bodies. Even still, she couldn’t get enough of him, and she wasn’t about to tell him to stop. 

“One more for me, Sen. I know you’ve got one more in you,” Rex grunted from behind her. 

“Rex… I…” Senna wasn’t even sure what plane of existence she lived on at this point, floating between bliss and some other world where ‘pleasure’ was an inadequate word to describe anything she felt. And yet, somehow, she felt the coil tightening in her gut again as Rex’s fingers dug into her hips, pulling her back into him. She felt her ass rippling with every thrust, a wet slapping sound coming from between her legs as Rex fucked her.

“You can,” he growled. “Touch yourself for me, pretty girl. You’ll give me one more.” 

Senna slowly adjusted, her body feeling gelatinous, but somehow she managed to prop herself up on one elbow, her fingers finding their way to her swollen clit, rubbing with a practiced pressure that immediately pushed her towards the edge. Her forehead stuck to the sheets, and suddenly, she felt Rex brush the hair off of her shoulder before his fingers gripped her, pulling her up against his chest with one of his arms draped across her collar bone, holding her up. 

“Look at how gorgeous you are,” he whispered into her ear, and Senna’s eyes fell on the mirror in one corner of the room. 

Her hair hung in loose waves, sticking to her sweaty body and Rex’s chest. One hand gently cradled her throat while the other tightly gripped her hip, guiding her along his length. Her breasts bounced with every snap of Rex’s hips, and she could see his cock disappearing inside of her with every thrust, his balls swinging forward to slap against her clit. But the thing that set her entire body ablaze was the way Rex was watching her in the mirror, his dark eyes focused on her face and expressions. He looked hungry, enamored, in charge and at her mercy all at the same time, as if he was taking everything he wanted but would submit at her word. 

His hand slipped from her hip, finding her clit and pressing with just the perfect amount of pressure, as if he’d been touching her like this all of his life. 

“Cum for me, Senna.” 

She nearly passed out, screaming as she soaked the sheets beneath them with her release. Rex’s arms held her up as the room around them disappeared around them in a haze, and she sagged against him, wrung out and undone in every way. 

“I’ve got you,” Rex gasped in her ear as he held her close. Gently, he lowered her down onto the pillows, leaning over her and brushing away the hair that was stuck to her face. Sweat trickled from his brow, but his expression was softer, more tender as he stared down at her. 

“Are you alright?” he asked. 

“No,” she replied. Rex’s brow furrowed with concern. 

Senna planted her palms against his chest, pushing him onto his back and clambering on top of him clumsily. 

“Your turn,” she gasped, pushing her hair back out of her face. 

Rex rested his hands on her thighs, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles. “Sen, you don’t have-”

“Shhh,” she insisted. “I want to.” She felt his cock twitch against her ass with interest. 

“Are you sure you’ve got the stamina for it?” he asked teasingly. 

She glared at him before angling her hips and sheathing him inside of her in one smooth motion, sitting up on his hips and grinding down until she felt him bottom out inside of her. Rex groaned, his grip on her tightening, and Senna huffed with victory. 

“Pretty sure,” she laughed, rocking her hips against Rex and enjoying the way his chest heaved beneath her fingertips. 

She teased him for a while, allowing herself to catch her breath as she slowly raised herself, letting the cool night air hit Rex’s slick cock before dropping herself back down to meet his hips, relishing in his grunts and groans of pleasure. Finally, when her head was a little clearer, she picked up the pace, bracing her hands against his shoulders as she rode him, finding pleasure when the head of his cock brushed the place inside her that had her seeing stars. 

“Senna.”

She hadn’t realized she’d closed her eyes, but snapped them back open to look down at Rex. His lips were parted slightly as he reached for her, cradling her face and running his thumb along her lower lip. She kissed it. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” he whispered, resting his other hand on her hip to slow her. Senna took her cue from him, whining when he began to meet her slow grinding with his hips. 

“C’mere.” He pulled her down so that their foreheads rested against one another. Senna braced herself on either side of his head, dropping to her elbows so that she could graze her nose against his. Her hair hung down, curtaining the two of them in together so that all she seemed able to focus on was his eyes, locked on hers. He groaned quietly into her mouth as he met her hips again. 

“Just like this,” he rasped. “I want to finish just like this. Looking at you like this.” 

“Ok,” was the only response she could muster. Her body felt heated again, burning under his touch but needing more of it. Her breasts rested against his chest as she pressed her lips against his, whimpering into his mouth. 

The room was quiet except for their soft gasps and whines and the rustling of the sheets, and something about the quiet intimacy of it all almost made Senna cry. 

“I love you,” Rex whispered, his voice slightly more strained. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Rex.”

“I-I never… fuck… I never thought I-I’d feel like this… with anyone. B-but here you are. I never stood a chance.” 

She laughed quietly before he punctured it with another gasp when he began guiding her hips to grind himself deeper into her. It felt as though his cock was reaching something so deep inside of her, somewhere no one had ever touched, and Senna cried out.

“I want it all with you, Senna,” Rex continued. She’d never heard him talk like this, but fuck if it wasn’t unravelling everything in her. “I d-don’t ever want to be without you again. I wanted this for so long. So long. And I don’t think I can lose you. Ever.”

“Rex.” 

“Senna.” 

“Rex, I-I… I’m gonna-”

“I know. I know. Me too.” 

“Don’t stop.” 

“I won’t. I won’t ever stop.” 

Rex gasped, swearing as he came, and his grip on the back of her neck tightened. The warmth between her legs drew a stuttering, breathy cry from Senna as her orgasm met his. The two of them rode out their highs, sighing and panting into each other’s mouths until Rex eased Senna down on the pillow next to him. Her leg remained draped over his hip as he kissed her tenderly, cradling her face. 

Finally, Rex relented, laying back on the pillows and pulling the covers over the two of them. They lay facing each other, the sweat still glistening on their foreheads as their panting finally calmed to a normal rate of breathing. Senna traced her fingers along Rex’s neck and collarbone as she looked into his eyes. 

“Well, that was a pleasant upgrade from a cave floor,” she grinned.

Rex let out a deep breathy laugh, letting his fingers intertwine with hers. “I couldn’t agree more. And this bed is better than the one at the inn.”

“Yeah.”

They lay in silence for several more moments as Rex traced patterns on the skin of her hip and she shivered under his touch. Pulling the sheet up to cover her abdomen and chest, she scooted closer to him, resting her forehead against his as his hand drifted across her waist and pressed into the small of her back, pulling her closer.

“Did you mean what you said?” she whispered after a few moments. “About never being without me again?” 

She was glad he didn’t answer instantly, that he took a moment to think about it before smiling at her, stroking her cheek. 

“Yes. I do mean that.” 

Senna hesitated for a moment. 

“How do you think our story ends?” 

It was a question that had been sitting in the back of her mind ever since she’d first considered the possibility of being with Rex. What would their future look like? How would it all end? With the two of them married? With children? It seemed like they should be on the same page in terms of the end goal, but if she was honest, she had no idea what she hoped for. 

Happiness, I suppose.

“How do you want it to end?” Rex asked, rubbing his thumb along her lower lip to deter the nervous chewing she’d started.

Senna sighed. “I don’t know. I want to be happy.”

“Are you happy?”

“Of course. But there are many ways to be happy with someone that you love.” 

Rex laughed softly, letting the thought hang between them for a few moments. “Would…would you want to get married?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Senna met his eyes, her azure irises boring into him. It was something she’d considered of course, but hearing Rex say the words out loud only solidified her desire for it in her mind. She wanted to be bound to Rex in any way she could. Of course, it would take time to be sure. She wasn’t that impulsive. 

In fact, marriage wasn’t something she’d really thought of as a possibility for herself, even after the war. It seemed silly to consider that path when she was so focused on survival and keeping herself hidden. But then Rex had come along, and something about him had always made her certain it was a thing he’d desire if he was with the right person. When she’d first met him, she’d just never thought that she would be that person for him. 

Senna leaned into his touch and nodded. “Yes, I suppose I would. If that’s something you’d want as well when the time comes.”

Rex smiled widely, seemingly giddy in a way that Senna had never seen. “That is very much something I’d want after this is over.” He hesitated, suddenly appearing a bit nervous. “Although…I’m sorry I have no surname to give you.”

Senna giggled. “What makes you think I’d take your name anyway?”

Rex huffed before throwing an arm around her and squeezing her playfully, digging his nose into the spot near her collarbone that he’d clearly noted was ticklish. Senna wriggled in his arms until he finally released her, bumping his nose against hers. 

“Good point, I suppose.” He let his thumb run over her cheekbone, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “I…I’d have no issue taking yours. I kind of like the name ‘Aven’.”

Senna’s smile faltered slightly. “I don’t think I’d want to keep that name. I’m no longer that person anymore. In my mind, Senna Aven didn’t survive Order 66. I mean, I did, but-” 

“I understand,” Rex tried to reassure her. 

“It’s just…” The words escaped Senna, and that frustrated her. Her teeth dug into her lip once more, and again, he soothed her nerves again with his thumb, trying to keep her from bloodying her own lip with her nerves. 

“If you don’t stop doing that, I’m not going to have anything left to kiss.”

She smiled. “Sorry. It’s a habit when I’m thinking.”

“When are you not thinking?”

She huffed and rolled her eyes, but couldn’t muster any argument. Instead, she let her hand drift to his hip as she met his eyes. 

“What if…what if we chose our own surname? Something that was meaningful to us and kind of symbolic of us starting over? A new beginning.”

Senna could see him thinking the suggestion over. 

“I chose my own name when I was a cadet,” he said slowly. “So in a sense, it’s a family tradition, I suppose. But this seems so much more important than picking ‘Rex’. It’s something I’d share with you.” He met her gaze. “The person I love.”

She watched him quietly as he thought for a few moments, and then his eyes widened slightly. Rex intertwined his fingers with hers as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. 

“There’s a word in Mando’a, atiniir. It means ‘to endure’ or ‘to tough it out.’ It’s a word I heard the trainers use when I was a cadet, and I think that kind of describes the both of us.”

Senna turned the word over on her tongue, considering it. 

Atiniir. 

Endurance was definitely a word that felt right for her and Rex. They’d endured the war, the aftermath, hell even each other before they’d fallen in love. After a few moments, she grinned at him. 

“We don’t have to decide now. It was just a thought,” Rex said, suddenly nervous. 

Senna smiled at him, and the worried pinch between his brows vanished. “Well, then I wouldn’t have to worry about changing my initials,” she joked. Leaning more into him, she captured his lips in a kiss, and he tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her to him. Parting her lips from his, she rested her forehead against his. 

“If we last long enough to get married, I’d be honored to share that name with you, Rex. I love it.”

Rex smiled, stroking her cheek as he held her close to him. 

“And I love you,” he murmured softly.

—

The following morning, Rex awoke to an empty bed, but this time, everything felt decidedly different from Lothal. Senna had gotten up an hour ago, trying to not wake him. He’d felt her watching him sleep for a few moments before she leaned down and kissed him, and after all of her effort to let him sleep, he figured it would only be rude to let her know he was awake. After the main door had hissed shut behind her, he’d managed to drop back off for a little while, dreaming of the night before, of her smile, her laugh, and the way she looked wrapped around him. But now, the dreams were no longer enough, and he was ready to track her back down and feel her in his arms for real. 

Rolling over and opening his eyes, he immediately noticed a metallic glint on the pillow next to him. Rex picked it up, turning it over in his hands and examining it. It was a piece of metallic tubing a few centimeters in length that had been bent at a right angle. It had a small nozzle on either end and in the middle of the bent line, two spacers seated along the tubing that spun as he turned the piece over in his hands. He could see that they’d fused together, which he assumed wasn’t good, but beyond that, he wasn’t sure what the hardware was for. 

What’s she playing at? he thought, his mouth curving into a grin despite his confusion. 

Rex dressed quickly with some clothes he found in the room’s wardrobe that seemed to be the right fit, slipping the piece of metal into his pocket before stepping out into the hallway. He stood still for a minute, straining his ears to catch any clue of where Senna might have gone. After a few moments, he was rewarded with the sound of quick footsteps and a familiar grunt from further down the hall, and he strode off towards the source of the noise.

After wandering through a few corridors, he came upon a wide open room with massive archways that opened to the outside. A cool morning breeze was blowing, whistling slightly through the archways and tugging at the corners of Rex’s shirt. The room appeared to be some sort of training center, with targets at one end of the room, weight training equipment at the other, and in the wide open space in the middle was Senna, her lightsaber humming as she parried an invisible opponent. The cerulean sleeveless tunic she wore rippled like water as she spun, and Rex could see the back of it was soaked with sweat. Her hair was tied back in a long braid that whipped back and forth as she turned on her heel and struck another blow at her imaginary assailant. She grunted and yelled as she attacked, and he realized that was the sound that he’d been hearing from down the hall as she moved through the same sequence again. Rex leaned against the edge of the archway, watching her until a quiet voice next to him made him jump.

“Seems like she’s getting her stuff back,” Echo whispered. “Or at least she’s certainly trying to.”

Rex glanced sideways. Hunter, Wrecker, and Tech stood behind Echo, Wrecker munching on some kind of bun he’d likely gotten from the kitchens. The clones were out of their armor and wearing lightweight clothing clearly meant for them to work out in.

“I think that encounter with the Inquisitor shook her up a bit. It’s been a while since she was challenged on that level, and trust me, she hates to lose,” Rex said under his breath.

“She didn’t lose though. She survived,” Echo replied.

Rex smirked. “She won’t see it that way.” He glanced back at Senna. “I’m not sure her using that lightsaber out in the open is a good idea though.”

“Organa’s aide assured us no one would come down to this part of the castle,” Hunter replied. “We were feeling antsy and were assured this would be a safe place to blow off some steam.” 

“Are you all going to stand there like mynocks on a power cable, or are you going to come over here and make yourselves useful?” Senna called from the middle of the room, her back to them.

Rex snorted and Echo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as they all stepped further into the room. Senna finally turned to face them, the tiny wisps of hair that had come loose from her braid sticking to her face and neck. She smiled at Rex, her eyes roving over him. He realized it was the most well-rested she’d looked in a long time despite the hours they’d spent wrapped around one another the night before. The sudden image of her on her knees in front of him invaded his mind, and his cock threatened to noticeably stiffen in his pants. He tried to subtly adjust himself, but Senna’s sharp blue eyes flicked down to where his hands were trying to hide an erection, and her lips curled into a mischievous grin. 

“Something on your mind, Captain?” she asked under her breath, bumping her shoulder against his.

“Oh, just the fact that you seem to be walking just fine,” he murmured into her ear. 

She winked at him. “I suppose I am, even if I am a bit sore. Voice is definitely hoarse if that’s any consolation.” 

He smirked at her. “Guess I’ve got more work to do.”

“If you’re up for it,” she teased. Turning to the rest of them, she raised an eyebrow. “Anyone wanna spar with me? I could use the practice instead of shadow boxing.”

“Only if you put the lightsaber away. Otherwise it won’t be much of a fair fight,” Hunter joked, walking over to grab two of the wooden staffs that were leaning against some of the weight equipment. Stepping forward, he tossed her one and she caught it above her head, giving it a few experimental spins to test its balance.

“Deal,” she said, a sly grin spreading across her face as she deactivated her blade, clipping her hilt to her belt. Rex and Echo took a seat against the nearest wall while Tech stood at the edge of the padded flooring and Wrecker sat on a weight bench. Senna squared her feet, taking a ready stance as Hunter let the staff dangle at his side, stalking around her confidently.

Rex leaned over to whisper to Echo. “Care to make this interesting?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I’m betting he doesn’t land a hit on her.”

Echo shot him a skeptical look. “Not a one? I think that’s a little overconfident. It is Hunter, and you know how competitive he can get.”

Rex nodded. “Twenty credits?”

“You’re on.”

Just then, Hunter lunged at Senna. She easily sidestepped him, and his swing flew by her. The sergeant tried to redirect his momentum, swinging the staff backhanded towards his target, and again, Senna lightly stepped back and out of the way.

Rex raised an eyebrow at Echo. “Still feeling good about that bet?”

Echo grinned. “He’s got time. He’s testing the water still to see what she’ll do. I’ve got faith in him.”

Hunter was walking slowly around Senna again, and a smirk was tugging at her lips. She squared her feet once more as Hunter stalked behind her. Her eyes drifted over her shoulder, and she swung her hips to the left just as he stabbed at her midriff, releasing her staff with her right hand to wrap her fingers around his wrist and pull him towards her. Hunter stumbled, off balance as she spun him and stepped forward, knocking him on the floor. His weapon clattered away from him as Senna knelt on top of him, pressing her staff to his throat. 

“Got ya,” she teased, tongue poking between her teeth.

Hunter’s face was blank for a moment before the confident glint returned to his eyes. Shifting his weight, he bucked his hips upward, knocking Senna forward. She flipped over the top of him and onto her back as Hunter whirled away from her to grab his staff. Kicking herself back up into a crouched position, Senna brandished her weapon outwards. 

“Is that all you’ve got?” she mocked with a raised eyebrow.

“Not even close, sweetheart,” Hunter rumbled, and he charged forward. His footwork was no longer sloppy and he had adapted to her parries as he pressed her. She retreated backwards, blocking his blows as he continued his advance.

“See, now he’s got her figured out,” Echo whispered. “He’s matching her footwork and fighting style.”

“We’ll see,” Rex said.

They watched as Senna and Hunter sparred, dancing around one another and testing the other’s reactions. Echo was right; Hunter had adjusted, but Senna still had one or two tricks up her sleeves. She was more focused than Rex had ever seen her, more determined. 

“She knows this is just practice, right?” Echo asked after a few minutes. 

Rex glanced at him. “I told you she doesn’t like losing.”

“Is that all this is?” 

“What do you mean?”

Echo leaned closer, lowering his voice. “It seems like there’s something else here. Not just a friendly competition. I don’t know that Senna’s just fighting Hunter right now.” 

Rex sighed. “The Inquisitor caught her off guard.” His mind drifted back to how frustrated she’d been the night Fisk had tried to assault her, anger crackling in his chest despite the months that separated him from that moment. “And she doesn’t like it when… when someone gets the drop on her.” 

“Who else then?” Echo pressed, sensing Rex was holding something back. 

“An Imperial named Fisk. He was on Lothal. She underestimated what he was capable of. And she almost paid dearly for it.” 

He could tell Echo knew him well enough to pull the pieces together, and he saw a similar anger flare in the eyes they shared. His brother’s jaw clenched as he sat back, watching Senna with a very different expression. 

“I’m surprised you let him live.”

“Oh, if I had it my way, he’d be at the bottom of the darkest hole I could find,” Rex gritted out, his fist clenching reflexively. “But she insisted the mission came first.”

“Damn her sensibility,” Echo joked mirthlessly. 

“Yeah,” Rex agreed. “She’s very protective of me. Perhaps too much so. She was willing… to do far too much to keep me safe.” He picked at a cuticle on his index finger. “She almost wouldn’t be with me because she was afraid it would put me in danger.”

“Danger has a way of finding you, Rex,” Echo chuckled.

“That’s what I told her.” 

They fell silent for a few more moments, letting the clacking of Senna and Hunter’s staff echo around the room.  

“I’m glad she wasn’t harmed,” Echo said quietly. “And I’m also glad someone is looking out for you.” 

Before Rex could respond, a frustrated growl from Senna drew his attention back to the sparring session in front of him. Hunter was still pressing Senna towards the edge of the mat when she suddenly dropped to her knees, rotating back behind him. From her kneeling position, Senna went to hit Hunter in the back, but he leapt into the air in a backflip, striking at her as he passed overhead. She reached up and grappled his wrist again, shoving him back farther than he’d anticipated for his landing, forcing him to tuck and roll upon impact. Spinning on her knees to a standing position, Senna advanced. Hunter was still kneeling as she struck at him, the wood cracking together loudly in the quiet of the room. The sergeant was desperately trying to get back to his feet, but Senna’s relentless flurry of blows kept him off balance until finally, he stabbed at her out of desperation and she dodged it, bringing her arm down to lock his sword arm in place while she brought her staff to his throat again and pressed forward, trapping his kneeling leg underneath him. There was no escape this time, and Hunter grinned as he dropped his staff and raised his other hand in surrender. 

“You got me.”

Echo sighed as he fished around in one of his belt pouches before slipping the credits into Rex’s outstretched hand.

“I saw that,” Senna called over her shoulder as she helped Hunter up. “It wasn’t really a fair fight though. I’m going to bet that style of combat isn’t in the training manuals on Kamino.”

“You would be correct,” Tech said from where he’d been standing. “However, some of us did take it upon ourselves to learn the skill.” Setting his datapad on the ground near the wall, he walked over and picked up a staff, twirling it lightly with his wrist.

“You, Tech? Really?” Hunter asked.

“Yes. Why is that shocking?”

“I guess…you know what, nevermind. It’s not. Have at her.” He walked over to slump against the wall and slid down into a seated position next to Rex, wiping his face on the edge of his shirt. “She’s something else.”

Rex bit back a proud grin, some of the tension leaving him as he caught Senna’s eye. “Indeed, she is.”

Tech mirrored Senna with his stance, tucking one hand behind his back as he brandished the staff in front of him. The two slowly circled each other until Senna feinted left, testing Tech’s response. He seemed unphased as he sidestepped her, maintaining his balance and parrying her test strike. Stepping back, he resumed his defensive position, waiting for her next move. She imitated Hunter, stalking around him with her staff hanging at her hip. Tech maintained his defensive position, waiting for her attack. This time, Senna raced towards him, leaping into the air and swiping at Tech’s off shoulder as she flew over him. Tech dropped to his knees, rolling away from her slash and spinning to face her as she landed. Their battle went on for several minutes as they tested each other, Senna poking and prodding at Tech’s defenses and Tech managing to block every blow. Finally, Senna went for a feint and then charged Tech, swinging as he parried her attack. She continued to press forward until Tech suddenly dropped low, kicking her legs out from under her. Senna let out a surprised curse as Tech changed his momentum, stepping forward to grasp her sword arm as she toppled to the ground. He locked his staff with hers, twisting it so she was disarmed and the wooden rod flew across the mat. Holding her arm to his chest, he knelt on her ribs, panting. 

“I do believe I win,” he said evenly. His expression was neutral, but his eyes were glinting triumphantly behind his lenses.

Rex chuckled to himself. 

Oh, she’s going to hate that.

Sure enough, Senna’s hand that Tech had captured by the wrist twitched, and his goggles wiggled on his nose as she tugged at them with the Force. 

“Don’t you dare,” he warned, standing up and releasing her.

“Oh, come on, just a bit of fun,” she teased as he helped her up. To Rex’s surprise, she gave him a light, playful shove. “Well fought, Legs.”

Echo glanced at Rex. “Does she take instruction?”

“At your own risk,” Rex replied. 

“Yeah, well I want her to be prepared too. For Inquisitors or the next sleamo she encounters,” Echo muttered, pushing himself to his feet. “Would you like to know what you did wrong?” he called out.

Senna turned, cocking an eyebrow at him. He shrugged. “I am a strategist. It’s what I do.”

Her face split into a wide smile, and she bowed dramatically. “Enlighten me then, Corporal.”

Echo stepped out onto the mat, his spine straightening and his scomp arm drifting behind his back while he gesticulated with his biological limb. Rex had to fight back a laugh at how serious his little brother became.

If only Fives could see him now. He’d have teased him relentlessly.  

“You shifted your weight too early and got too close to him,” Echo told Senna, who to her credit, was listening attentively. “He’d clearly been waiting on you to do that the entire time, but you just hadn’t gotten overly eager until that last point. Also, you have a tell for when you’re going to step within proximity. It’s slight, but you shift your weight to push off your left foot more so than your right, and you lean your hip outwards.”

“Giving away all my secrets, Echo?” Tech joked dryly, wiping sweat from his brow on his sleeve. “He is correct though. That was exactly my strategy.”

Senna nodded. “Let’s go again then.”

Rex smiled to himself. 

Atta girl.

—

Senna and Tech went for another half an hour before she bested him, and in another hour, she was beating him consistently. At that point, the clones switched things up, having her fight Tech and Hunter at the same time, and when she won those battles, they had Wrecker start chucking small sandbags at her during combat to just add one more thing to dodge. Echo and Rex gave feedback from the sidelines, providing minor corrections to make her less of a predictable fighter, and Senna took each bit of feedback in stride.

I won’t get surprised again. And it’s been a long time since I felt this… right.

Her blood roared in her ears and her muscles burned, but she loved it. She hadn’t sparred, really sparred since her time at the temple. She’d kept herself locked away for so long, and there was clearly rust there, but her progress was evident. Now, when she reached out, she could feel everything around her without having to strain. She wasn’t completely attuned yet, but what had been a struggle a few weeks ago now felt natural again. 

With time. It’ll come back with time. Just gotta be patient.

By the time the sun was starting to sink lower in the sky, Senna felt her stomach rumble, and called a halt to the combat. They were all drenched in sweat, and she could feel blisters starting to form on the bottoms of her feet, but she felt satisfied. Tossing Hunter the staff she’d been working with to be replaced on its rack, she strode up to Rex, wiping her face on her shirt.

He beamed at her. “Well done.”

The compliment made her face feel warm, and she was glad she was already flushed so he couldn’t see its effect. “Thanks. Still not sure I’m where I need to be.”

“But you’re in a better place than you were this morning,” he insisted. 

“I suppose,” she conceded. 

Reaching into his pocket, Rex pulled out the trinket she’d left on his pillow. “By the way, what is this? I found it on your side of the bed this morning.”

It had been a silly, spur-of-of-the-moment idea, and now it felt even more childish with Rex’s confused expression. Senna ducked her head bashfully, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Well, last time I left while you were sleeping, I don’t think I uuuuh made my feelings very clear. I know it was silly, but I wanted to leave something so you’d know I was thinking of you. In case you got worried.” 

Rex chuckled. “I wasn’t worried. But what is it?” 

Senna took the metal from him, turning it over in her palm. “When I mess up something during a build or repair, sometimes I keep the scrap. Don’t know why, but I kind of like having the mementos. This was a piece of fluid line from the speeder bike on Lothal.” She poked at the ruined metal. “I accidentally fused the two spacers together and messed up the tubing bend a bit, so I just kept it. It was in my pocket the night we had to leave.”

Rex took it back from her, turning it over in his hands with a look of newfound appreciation. He met her eyes. “You’re a bit odd, you know that?”

Senna tipped her head back and laughed at that. “You knew what you were getting into.”

“I did,” he confirmed with a grin. 

Slipping her arm around Rex’s waist, Senna turned to recommend they all go get food, but before she could utter a word, Bail Organa walked briskly into the room with his head aide and two guardsmen. Senna stiffened at his appearance. The senator was nervous and winded, as if he’d half-run here. Rex noticed too. She felt his hand rest protectively on her shoulder. Organa glanced around, clearly glad they were all in one place before he spoke. 

“I’m afraid we have a problem.”

Tag List: @redheadgirl @cyarbika @witchklng @djarrex @arctrooper69 @sleepingsun501 @ladytano420 @rexxdjarin @echos-girlfriend @zoeykallus @leftealeaf @galacticgraffiti @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall @ariadnes-red-thread @goblininawig @merkitty49 @fives-lover @ladykatakuri @runforrestr @baba-fett @daimyosprincess @obihiddlenox @bucketbunny99 @fordo-kixed-rex @nerdika @amish---paradise @arctrooperechy

[voskhozhdeniye]

Musical Obsessions 2024

Airiel, quite a bit from them*

Alan Sparhawk: White Roses, My God*

Andy Stott, a lot from him.

Anna von Hausswolff, I'm going through her albums.

Austin Cesear's Cruise Forever

Autechre, I'm going through their albums.*

Bat For Lashes: The Dream of Delphi

Belong: Realistic IX

Beth Gibbons: Lives Outgrown

Beyoncé's 16 CARRIAGES, RIIVERDANCE, II HANDS II HEAVEN

billy woods, I'm rummaging through his albums.*

Biosphere, I'm drifting through his.

the body, I've gone through their albums. I've barely touch the collab albums.

Boris, I've been jumping through their albums.

Bowery Electric, I finally grabbed the last album.*

Burial: Dreamfear / Boy Sent From Above

The Caretaker, I'm randomly going through his albums.

Chat Pile: Cool World

Chelsea Wolfe: She Reaches Out To She Reaches Out To She

Cocteau Twins, I'm going through their albums.*

Coil, of course.

COLD GAWD: I'll Drown On This Earth

Colin Stetson: The love it took to leave you

The Cure: Songs Of A Lost World*

Danger Mouse & Black Thought's Cheat Codes*

The Decemberists' Joan in the Garden

DIIV: Frog In Boiling Water*

Emeralds, even more than last year.

Erykah Badu*

Fiddlehead, I've been listening to them a lot.

the fun years*

The Future Sound of London*

Glenn Branca, finally doing a deeper dive than I had in the past.

God Body Disconnect: Dreams to be Buried In

Godflesh, I'm slowly going through their albums.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor: “NO TITLE AS OF 13 FEBRUARY 2024 28,340 DEAD”*

Grouper, I'm going through her albums.

James Devane's Beauty is Useless

Jessica Pratt: Here in the Pitch*

Jon Mckiel: Hex

Kali Malone, I am slowly going through her albums.

Keeley Forsyth: The Hollow

Kendrick Lamar, it is what it is.

Kim Gordon: The Collective*

Laryssa Kim's Blue Velvet - Fortezza Sacra

Lawrence English, I'm randomly hopping through his albums too.

Lupe Fiasco: Samurai

Lussuria's Migrate Exquisite Corpse

Lustmord: Much Unseen Is Also Here

Man Without Country's Beta Blocker

Mary J. Blige, every song: I'll love you forever, every dude she's dating, time to fuck you over.

Midwife: No Depression in Heaven

Moon Diagrams: Cemetery Classics

Moor Mother: The Great Bailout / The Great Bailout (Deluxe)

Muslimgauze, by July I realized I'll never hear all of his work. Bless him.

Nala Sinephro: Endlessness

Nirvana*

Norman Westberg's After Vacation

Nu Shooz's I Can't Wait, is the song in my head at all times.

The Orb, I'm going through their albums.

Pharmakon: Maggot Mass

Rafael Toral, I've been going through his work.

Saul Williams, his music and his Twitter have helped me survive this year.

Shellac: To All Trains

Slow Blink, I've been going through her albums.*

Sprain's The Lamb As Effigy*

SUNN O))), a lot.

Uboa: Impossible Light

Unwound, slowly going through their albums.

Windy & Carl, I've been going through their work.*

Bold and italicized indicates a favorite released this year.

This list does not really show that this is the most music I've listened to in a year. I'm typing this on December 3rd, and expect to have 60,000 plays on Last.fm before the end of the year. 2022 was my previous high, 45,000+. I don't feel as musically burned out like I did at the end of 2022, but I really want to slow down next year.....

As usual, choosing a favorite is like pulling teeth, so I'll do something different this year.

Colin Stetson, Kim Gordon, Moor Mother, & Pharmakon are my favorites. Colin and Kim are for the musician in me. Moor Mother and Pharmakon are for the writer and musician in me.

The regular edition and deluxe edition of Moor Mother's album are two different mixes of the album. The regular edition chops what sounds like a long form spoken word piece into nine claustrophobic noise pieces. The deluxe version stretches them out into three twenty-minute extended pieces. The extra time allows them to be more cinematic in their scope. I think you see where I'm leaning. Also, I BE KNOWING. What happened to the person who wrote that?

I truly don't know radio music anymore. The "new" songs we get at work are all the hits from twenty years ago, and last decade Tswizzle garbage. @knightofleo around here, the white radio stations don't play anything from Beyoncé past 4, at work, nothing past I Am... Sasha Fierce, No Crazy in Love. The white stations remove Jay's verse. I believe we feel the same about him, but the whitewash is fucked up. They cut Wyclef out of Killing Me Softly with His Song.

I said my goal for this year would be to really check out noise rock bands. I started with Boris, and then moved to pure noise. My plan for next year is to check out early electronic music, Éliane Radigue and Catherine Christer Hennix come to mind. Along with contemporary and experimental classical. Harry Partch, La Monte Young, György Ligeti, Steve Reich, you see where I'm going with this. This also allows me to cheat and dip into "Third stream," which puts be back into jazz.

Airiel: That is a potent combo of earnest lyrics and shoegaze.

Alan Sparhawk: What a pure album.

Autechre: Going into their music, all I heard was how divisive LP5 was. I spent last year with the first three albums. First time listening to Chiastic Slide, and I knew where LP5 was going.

billy woods: Bless him, I'm so tired of this abusive relationship with hip-hop.

Bowery Electric: First album, guitars in your face. Second album, guitars slightly buried underneath beats. Third album, guitars papering trip-hop beats.

Cocteau Twins: For the longest time, '80s synth heavy music sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me. I remember being introduced to Kate Bush in 2003, and thinking it was the worst thing I had ever heard. I was recommended Cocteau Twins a little while after getting into Slowdive. I heard those synths, and was like nope. That's a barrier that's gone now.

The Cure: The new album sounds like a direct conversation with Disintegration. The older Robert Smith trying to send answers back to his younger self.

Danger Mouse & Black Thought: I heard about this before it was released a few years back, but never checked it out.

DIIV: I am not the biggest fan of the new sound, but it still produces beautiful music.

Erykah Badu: Over the summer, I started going through Erykah and Mary J. Blige's albums. I've always known their music, but had never really went through their albums on my own accord.

the fun years: They are interesting. Their early albums are exercises in tape loop experiments. Their album from last year sounds like a lost Boards of Canada album.

The Future Sound of London: Currently going through their and The Orb's albums. I'll probably lump Orbital in next year. I am very interested in the sound collage their songs are. Before my car started having problems, I was planning on buying an expensive sampler to run my synths through. Basically, I want to DJ Shadow my own music. I can do it with the computer, but I desire the physical feel of chopping audio up. I refer to Shadow because he's always been a touchpoint for me, but TFSOL and The Orb are more erratic/ambient at times.

Jessica Pratt: I love her voice.

Kim Gordon: This album effortlessly sounds like what I'm trying to do with my music at times. Just disgusting, corrosive, battery acid beats.

Nirvana: I am thirty-five. I have avoided Nirvana my entire life. I think you can guess why. I remember reading an article from someone who saw Joy Division live. They said, the problem is, those who weren't there will never understand the promise we saw in that band. Those too young to have been there can only view the band through the eyes of tragedy. After Kyle died, I figured fuck it. I love Bleach, that's an ugly fucking album. Nevermind is interesting. In Utero is terrifying. "I wish I was like you, easily amused." Yep.

Slow Blink: Thank you @the-inevitable-minor-fires

Sprain: I didn't grab The Lamb as Effigy until this year. That is a mental breakdown on tape.

Windy & Carl: Thank you @zombimanos

As for my music, I'm still inspired by the usual suspects. Thinking about the slipperiness of The Future Sound of London and The Orb, the crudeness of the body, and the dead weight thump of Andy Stott. Slow Blink and the fun years really have me thinking about tape loops. I don't have the time, space, or money to actually do them, but I'll grab a sampler next year. I have been denying myself the desire to make nasty harsh noise drones.

Last year's list.

[xarrixii]

F/B Chapter_43 : "One of the Good Ones"

CW: none that i can think of previous chapter | beginning | masterlist

/ / / / / | ---

“You’re the best pyro I know, Alph,” Reggie mocked silently. “I’ve never seen anyone in my 34 years of life that wields fire better than you. Good control, Alph⸺”

Alph put a hand over Reggie’s mouth. The gym teacher made them want to vomit excessively all over the floor. With cat hair, stomach acid, and that mildly radioactive meal served on that blue hot-lunch tray. Reggie licked their palm and they pulled off.

“Just saying. He’s weird, dude. Like retired intel recruiter weird. Are you being scouted?”

“No?” As far as Alph knew, the government wouldn’t want a pyrokinetic in its special programs anyway. “I think he’s just a piece of shit.”

“Kineticist piece of shit,” Beth nodded, suddenly leaning on Alph’s shoulder. “This guy needs a new hobby. I think he just stalks all of the kids with kinetics. Doesn’t help he runs the yearly exam. So the government can have information on its citizens.”

Alph snorted impolitely, then laughed at the sound of it.

“The fuck was that?” Reggie snickered, lightly punching Alph.

The gym teacher whistled, yelled blue, and Reggie shrugged and walked back into dodgeball hell. Alph replaced him in line, then turned back to Beth. “What’d you purposefully get out to tell me?”

“I did not purposefully get out,” Beth said loudly, then leaned in, “but Flash Fire’s getting an update. AJ was looking at his smartwatch for notifications on the ‘medic scooter’ waiting for someone to go down. Multiplayer and ranked battles. Something about secret maps for them?”

“Multiplayer?” Alph said louder than intended, glancing over at the gym teacher who stoically stood around doing nothing. “Like, online, anytime, no arcade multiplayer?”

Beth nodded. “They finally figured out how to code their AI models to fight more than one target at once reliably. Also some lag fixes and blah blah blah.”

“Urban.”

“Quit it with the fictitious boyfriend,” Beth understood which Urban Alph meant quick enough to be sarcastic. “We get it, you have to make excuses each time as for why he can’t come down to the arcade⸺”

“For your information he’s real and he’s cooler than you are. And he’s not my boyfriend.”

Beth pretended to become offended, scoffing and rolling her eyes as Alph was whistled back into play. She whispered with her teeth as Alph walked away, “But you wish he was.”

She received a polite middle finger back.

The conversation didn’t resume until Alph was walking home, head buried in their phone screen. “Yeah. They’ve released map teasers and have beta testers testing out the AI right now. Apparently accounts in the top 5% of players can access the beta for early feedback. No online play though, only lobby codes and LAN play.” 

Alph chuckled at the statistic, pausing halfway through a text. Camdyn waved it off. “Yeah, so what exactly? Alph?”

“If we want to play at my apartment, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t care. As long as no one else has any obligations.” Alph hit sent and looked up. “What? Come on. It’d be cool.”

Reggie voiced a leading note before actually speaking at a crosswalk, “Nah. I agreed to take over a shift. I think I’m already gonna be late, so I’m gonna split.”

“Seeya,” Camdyn said. Then he turned to Alph, Reggie already halfway down the intersection. “You’re not actually top 5% are you? I distinctly remember beating you at an arcade before, and it was remarkably easy. And I’m not even top 20%.”

“Uh, 4 point.... whatever. I don’t remember.” The remark reminded Alph all too painfully of walking into Decked Games at twelve years just to find out their high score had been beaten—eight times. UR. Over the next few weeks, with a month lapse stuck in the middle, each and every arcade in the city that had Flash Fire as an available game was overrun by a new winner that Alph could never catch in the act.

It was Urban, obviously. It was rare when Alph beat him on console. UR was for Urban Reichler. The kind of thing most everyone knew now from a simple search query, but four years ago was a fact known by the handful of people who either read the comics or did 100% runs. “Skill curve gets insane beyond that point.”

“We’ll see the real number when we get to your apartment anyway,” Beth jostled.

Alph threw up a hand the second the blast inched their vision, skidding across the street suddenly filled with glass and swiveling around to Beth and Camdyn. Ringing filled their ears more than their own voice, “Are you two okay?”

Beth gave a silent thumbs-up and Camdyn groaned out a thanks.

When they turned back to look at the newly-exploded building, they expected fire, just not the screaming child. “Call the cops,” Alph managed to get out before pushing off the ground back across the street to the burning building. The decision was met with barely any hesitation, Alph’s hands grabbing hold of the fire and whisking it away from themselves as they went toward the kid.

Alph could hear Camdyn protesting outside over the roaring fire.

“Hey, kid! It’s gonna all be okay, I promise you!” Alph yelled into the newly awakened pyrokinetic flame. “We’re gonna walk through this together, alright?”

next chapter | masterlist

/ / / / / | --- missing a content warning? let me know

it's actually so jarring to see how short this is compared to the two latest chapters i've written

taglist (ask to go on or off): @lychhiker-writes, @madeoforgansandtissues, @fins0up

[vivalgi]

Better late than never, this month's Choices Insiders is finally here! Here's even a chart I made last month to confirm the e-mails are gradually being sent out at later times:

PB won't stop finding ways to make every relationship seem forbidden. I might look into the story, depending on what the circumstances for breaking up were ...oh wait it's gender locked. Never mind then 🥱

Unlike the leaked cover, it seems that the in-game CGs may not be AI generated at least. She looks like she's about to sneeze or fall asleep though😁

Top FAQ once again didn't give me any new info I'd be interested in nor answered any of the questions I sent.

The new LGBT focused book All of Us that the CEO mentioned in her recent blog post will be released already in August for VIPs. I usually do MLW routes when given a chance but depending on the VIP beta testers' 😛 impressions I might do differently for this book.

New info on Hearts on Fire as well. I'm not familiar with the expression "hero to repay" so that part is confusing but otherwise the story sounds exciting. There's no clear mention of the LI(s) either, only the chief and fellow firefighters. I've already seen the cover image, which depicts a man in firefighter outfit and a woman in some other, probably office uniform. Maybe the former is our MC and the latter is the chief that was mentioned? Although the guy also has a tattoo on his arm which is usually one too many details for MCs to have. Kind of a wishful thinking but I hope it's like TPA, with a more male coded MC for a change again.

[hershelchocolate]

Gregory was the one to crash the elevator, not the Mimic

Hi I'm making a theory post because me and my bestie are so fucking deep in thinking about Ruin and how it completely changes the game of Era 2 fnaf so bear with me! This one has a long road to get there, but it'll be worth it I promise.

First off, just to establish some ground rules, I am following what Scott himself said about the books when they first came out and refusing to see book-only events as canon. Nothing about the Mimic we see in Ruin can be tied to the version from the books, so I'm not going to be using ANY book material as evidence unless it's also been shown in the games. The books have always taken plot points and twisted them to make something new, the Mimic is no different.

I also think Gregory deserves to be a little shit sometimes but that actually didn't cause this theory, it was a whole thing and I am forcing you all to follow along with me

(All images I use to explain things (as well as some of the points I make) were sent to me by @arcaneyouth thanks for taking the time to go through the game bestie!)

Okay. Hopefully this makes sense.

1. The Mimic that we know goes as far back as Help Wanted

I know I said this was going to be a long rant, so yes we are indeed going this far back so I can establish some things I find vital. After Ultimate Custom Night, Help Wanted was a HUGE shift in the franchise, to the point where everything after UCN is basically its own timeline. Fazbear Entertainment exists, and they did commit crimes, but Scott exists in-universe and there's no evidence Afton is anything more than a fictional villain FE can point fingers to.

Enter: the Mimic

It's been here the entire time, taking the form of Glitchtrap and learning through the code put into the game. All of its distorted voice lines are taken right from Tape Girl's files, and it seems to be emulating the thing that made people so fascinated with fnaf: the murders and who did them. So, it picks the form of a yellow bunny, but it's distorted. Spring Bonnie has never properly existed, so it chooses its own shape, which is easier as Help Wanted is entirely digital (similar to the AR world in Ruin).

Now, the most important part of this is hard mode night terrors: Pizza Party.

Now, it's implied in Help Wanted that you are simply testing this game. You are the next beta tester from the company that got sent the game after Tape Girl's got shut down. The game is unfinished, and still contains her tapes as well as things that wouldn't usually be there during a finished game (I can see why they kept the unfinished Showtime button in there because of this, and why there are some random events that can happen).

So because of this, it's very possible that Pizza Party...doesn't exist.

They didn't have a finished ending to the game yet, but the Mimic had been watching you play, and wanted to keep going. Maybe it was studying you, maybe it was studying the game, but it needs the game to be on to study either. So, to give you a fun final challenge, it creates Pizza Party.

It doesn't make sense. Corridors connect to each other in strange ways, bits and pieces of every single minigame are strewn about randomly, with characters only doing the simplest of actions (Chica going for a pizza, Marionette sitting in its box, Springtrap standing in a doorway, etc.) All of this leads to that finale we all know and love; taking Freddy's place on stage.

And here is where the first thing relevant to Ruin comes into play.

One thing from this ending dialogue doesn't match up. It's in that third image.

The narrator refers to himself in the first person.

Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but he has NEVER done that in this game before. It's always "we" or "Fazbear Entertainment". Never "I", or in this case "my". It even replicates the exact phrasing and structure of the sentence before it, it's the same sentence. This is the Mimic.

And here's the proof;

2. It literally does the exact same thing in Ruin (aka: how it affected the VANNI system)

Now, those of you who have played Ruin may have noticed that, in certain dialogues, Helpi looks...different.

Points where Helpi is yellow seem to indicate times when the Mimic is manipulating what it says (anything that tells Cassie how to shut down the security, anything that gets her deeper into the Pizzaplex. Helpi only goes back to blue to clarify what it said to keep her safe while doing it).

But there's one other thing that's different

Just look at all of those instances of first person language.

And, in case you're wondering, Helpi NEVER does this

Helpi talks in a very corporate way, always only referring to Cassie herself. Helpi isn't a character, it's a tutorial program.

This implies one really huge thing: The Mimic has access to the VANNI network and what it can do. It's using this to push Cassie further into the Pizzaplex, but there's also one thing in particular it's connected to.

3. The Mimic learned how to splice together sentences after connecting to the VANNI network

As stated before, the Glitchtrap in Help Wanted is heavily implied to be the Mimic (there is SO much more evidence I didn't touch on) but the most important part was what I stated before: It was using dialogue from other people to make its own sentences. But not in the same way it does in Ruin.

In Help Wanted, ALL of the dialogue implied to be from the Mimic is direct sentences it has taken in their entirety. It's not making something new, it's just repeating back what it's heard. That's clearly not the case in Ruin, it's talking all the time! It's able to instruct Cassie on what to do!

But, all of the things it says are bits and pieces from Gregory's dialogue in Security Breach. ALL of it. It just learned, through Helpi and the VANNI system, how to start piecing together its own sentences that still make sense. In fact, you can hear it very clearly right when you get towards Roxy Raceway, and Gregory announces he "finally has a clear signal", one that lets you hear exactly where all those cuts in the dialogue are happening.

Almost immediately after you deactivate Roxy, you get this popup

After this happens, there are only a few things the Mimic says to you.

All of these are direct 1 to 1 quotes that Gregory himself has said in Security Breach. (The exception being Cassie's name, but the Mimic would have had to heard him say it at some point in the first place to have been using it all this time)

As soon as the VANNI network became disconnected, the Mimic no longer had access to what it was using to splice together audio.

The fact that "you saved me!" is said differently twice is even proven by Help Wanted where, even though the line it copies in that ending dialogue is just said again, it's delivered differently.

Which leads to the ENTIRE point of this post: the Mimic did NOT interrupt Gregory in the elevator.

It has been proven even without all of this in-game that the Mimic isn't quite that good at fully replicating things yet. You can hear the splices as soon as you get close enough to it, it even points out that it finally has a clear signal, which was the reason Cassie never noticed before. Not to mention that Gregory never said anything like his speech before. None of that dialogue was in Security Breach.

None of the elevator speech was the Mimic. That was all Gregory.

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #30 | 04.27.23

Hi everyone!

We are back with a monthly update! If you all remember, last month I was feeling a bit burnt out, and I'm super happy to say I'm feeling a lot more like myself this month <3 Thank you to everyone who sent me a lil message/comment, I always appreciate them sm. I won't bore you with my gushing, but I am forever grateful for you all! With that, I'll get into the updates ^^

But first, it was someone's birthday this month! happy bday, hoe.

Writing

I have some exciting news! Kayn's route has officially entered the line editing phase, which is the FINAL stage of editing \o/ This will be the first route completed for Alaris, wow!!! Fenir's route is still going through developmental editing, but the changes are already super cute and he is giving ultimate grumpy baby energy, which we love to see.

I'm still chipping away at Druk's route. Honestly, I'm Very Sad I haven't made as much progress with him as I would've liked, but a lot of my time was dedicated to the enhanced demo this month, and between revamping the demo script, coding, voice acting, and edits for Kayn/Fenir's full routes, I just didn't have the time. I'm hoping this month, I'll finally Actually be able to get his first draft done <3

Art

We officially finished all Demo Backgrounds this month (wow!!). Having started revamping the demo BGs all the way back in, like, November, it's crazy that this first milestone has been reached! Now, it's only full game BGs left. I received the new Dusk Court BG recently, and she's stunning, so I'm excited for the more "core plot" BGs to start coming out :')

In honor of the enhanced demo coming out, I updated the sprite art for the LIs! I'll be getting to the side characters this next month, but I'm really happy with the new art. The differences maybe kinda small for some of them, but I think they look a lot cleaner, and I think the auras especially are pretty <;3 we also whoreified kuna'a

updated sprite preview for kayn, aisa, kuna'a, and etza

The full GUI was also finished this month. I just have to code them in, but it looks SO delicate and pretty and sharp. I'm so thankful to Alice for doing the most outstanding job with them---she is so talented!!

Sneaky peek of screens uwu

Additional Notes

I complained about it 29348 times, but I Finished the Voice Acting Coding this month uwu. That is probably the biggest accomplishment considering how much work it was reviewing all the lines, cutting them, and coding them into the game. I'm terrified for the full routes.

I selected the playtesters for the game so far. Thank you to everyone who applied! I wasn't able to reach out to everyone who applied, and I didn't want to have so so many playtesters, since filtering through everyone's feedback would be overwhelming. But there may come a time when I need more playtesters in the future, so please feel free to keep my little game in mind <3

It's been a bit since I mentioned my Patreon, mostly because I feel bad asking people for money and promoting a platform where people have to pay for content LOL. But it is there, and I do post to it! The reason I bring it up in this devlog is because the highest tier ($10) gets access to playtesting and the second tier ($5) gets early access to finished builds. With the enhanced demo slowly getting finished, I will be doing playtesting for the new beta build this upcoming month in May. SO if you want playtesting/early access to the enhanced demo, please feel free to check out my Patreon* ^^

*Note: If you’re interested in becoming a patron for the early testing/ playtesting, don't become a patron until May starts otherwise you will get charged for both this month and May ((unless you want to give me money for both months in which case u have my eternal love uwu))

Market Research

Lastly, I did a tiny bit of market research this month! I played Bustafellows after my dear friend Seyl (check out her and her team's game Lost in Limbo!!) recommended it to me.

Shu: why is his glove so slutty

And of course the game everyone has been talking about, I played the demo for Touchstarved.

Ais: my favorite, and it's not even close

Looking at these two, and I think I have a thing for smokers lmao. Anyways, I think that's enough from me, so that is all for this month's update! Stay safe, and see you all next month <3

[walkawaytall]

Because posting schedules, much like the pirate's code, are really more like guidelines. Here's the final chapter of Hearthstide a few days early. Big thanks to @diplomaticprincess for beta reading all three chapters! Your help was priceless!

Summary:

Life Day is approaching and Leia needs the celebration to be perfect. Han discovers there might be more to her fixation on the holiday than meets the eye. A holiday-themed story about grief, loss, love, and rebuilding.

Written for @yearoftheotpevent Collection - December prompt: holidays together.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The encounter with the careless vendor weighed on her heavily, and she knew the others must have sensed her mood the few times that she left the cabin, because they sent Chewie in to retrieve her for the evening meal. Han and Luke only made Chewie go after her when they thought there was a high likelihood they would be yelled at; Leia never yelled at Chewie.

[Little One, we’re going to cook outside,] Chewie said, bending at the waist to peer into Leia’s bunk.

“I’m not really all that hungry, Chewie,” she whispered. Her limbs, her hair, her everything had begun to feel quite heavy an hour or two before, and she didn’t know that she could move.

[You need fresh air,] he said. [You will feel better listening to the sea, I think.]

Leia lifted her head and met the Wookiee’s kind gaze. He likely wasn’t wrong — she always felt better outside, and the couple of hours she and Luke had spent at the market had been the only time she had spent off the ship in days.

[I will carry you if I have to.]

The threat was good-natured and Leia doubted he’d haul off and carry her without her permission anyway. She laughed softly and shook her head. “No, no. Just…give me a minute to look presentable and I’ll head outside.”

[mollish-art]

HOW DO YOU WRITE SO AMAZINGLY WOULD YOU HAVE ANY TIPS I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF UNPERSONS IT'S SO GOOD

eeeEEEEE thank you so much!!! That's really sweet of you to say - I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story so far!!

This is honestly the first I'm I've even attempted to write anything of this length before, so I'm amazed it's been received so positively.

I am by no means a professional writer, nor have I taken any creative writing classes or been to any workshops, but I'll just let you know what I tried to keep in mind, as that seemed to work for me! Take this with a grain of salt, though :)

When I was in the midst of writing, I was absolutely hyperfixated. The story was literally all I thought about. I only listened to the playlists I curated for it on repeat, even when not writing or drawing concept art for it. It was honestly a little unhealthy lmao but it gave me the stamina and inspiration I needed to sit for long hours and just write.

First things first: I wrote a really rough plan of how I wanted all of the scenes to play out, color-coding the headings by perspective. I even gave each segment heading names that were eventually removed from the final draft of each chapter. For example, here are the perspective titles for chapters 2 and 3:

And here is a random screenshot of some of the plot outline from Chapter 3:

I'd put random keywords in there along with media references and links to concept art etc to jog my brain as well.

This helped me to keep overarching goals in mind when I actually began to write the chapters themselves. I also wrote everything in order - I never skipped over writing certain scenes. That might work for some people, but not me hehe

What's very important to note though is that as I was in the middle of writing each chapter, I simply wrote what felt right. If something seemed to just work better, even if it went against my initial outline, I would write that instead.

Additionally, I constantly assessed my strengths and weaknesses. I feel far more comfortable describing physical and emotional reactions than I do writing dialogue, so I would always pay particuarly close attention to the dialogue I wrote when editing. I would often read whole segments out loud so as to avoid as many cases of "he-would-NOT-fucking-say-that"-syndrome as possible.

Also, I would take frequent breaks. If a scene I was writing just was not coming together, I'd stop writing for a while rather than burning myself out.

I tried to take into account some advice I heard from somewhere else as much as I could, namely to balance descriptions of the environment with dialogue, both internal and external. I tried to catch myself whenever I noticed I was dedicating a huge, uniterrupted chunk of text to only dialogue or only environomental description.

Another thing: I like using figurative language. A lot. Probably a little too much. But I like being dramatic and artsy (a bit like my characterization of Hetch, I suppose), so I would include a lot of metaphors and similes within my writing. I feel like it helps to paint more of an abstract picture and let the reader fill in the gaps themselves with their mind rather than to give too many minute details, as that can get boring pretty quickly.

Lastly, I revised my drafts many times before I sent them to my beta readers, checking mostly for continuity errors, flow, and any grammatical/spelling errors. I'd often do my revisions aloud to myself, as I tend to catch more awkward sentences that way as opposed to just reading it silently to myself!

Hopefully some of that is helpful :) Honestly, the biggest piece of advice I can give is to just get out there and write. I didn't know I was capable of pulling this off until I sat down and did it. And, most of alll, I was writing more for myself than anyone else. In other words, I just had fun with it! I didn't really care if people would resonate with it, all that I knew is that I enjoyed writing it myself. Thankfully, that seemed to come across! I'm still blown away by how Unperson has been received so far. I'm really looking forward to getting the chance to get back to writing it again!

[kitzuneplayz]

S&W Writing Update! ~ 6/9/23

Hey all! So sorry I missed the last one of these, life has been absolutely hectic. Anyways Happy Summer! And Happy Pride Month🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ :) You want the good news or the bad news first? 😅 Let’s rotate between the two.

Some good news first! Thanks to the beginning of summer vacation, I’ll hopefully have a lot more time to devote to the project. I got a new computer too. So coding should be running much smoother now. We are still in need of Beta Testers, so if you’re interested in helping out the project, and the extra perks that come with it, please reach out to me! Now for some bad news. The demo cannot be dropped until I’m satisfied it’s been properly tested. Due to an overall lack of testers, and technical difficulties + scheduling conflicts on my end, the demo drop will unfortunately have to be pushed back to July. So sorry about that! 🙏🏽 On the bright side(more good news incoming), thats around the same time the Patreon will be dropping! So keep your eyes and ears open for that. As for how the actual project is coming along, Im happy to announce that the Prologue and Chapter 1 of Snowflakes & Wishes is 97% complete! 🥳 I just have to finalize some choices and make sure everything works. My art development team is also in the middle of creating some Pride Month Character Art for you all. So look forward to that as well. I’m also working on a side story about the Mystery RO that will be released to my Patreon chapter by chapter. Let’s see if you guys can figure out who they are before the big reveal. 😏

Once again I would like to extend a big “Thank You” to everyone who has been supporting and following this project for the past few months. It means a lot to me and my team and we look forward to seeing how the demo will be recived! 😁 I would also like to extend a sincere thank you to “theoperativeif”. They have been one of my biggest supporters since pretty much day one. They’ve sent me almost weekly messages of support and affirmation. Even if I’m too tired or anxious to respond I always see them and they brighten my day. The creator of this IF is so sweet and funny and if you haven’t already you should definitely click the link below and go check them out! ☺️

That’s all I have for now. Remember to stay hydrated out there it’s looking to be a hot summer. Take care of yourselves everyone and look forward to the next update! 💕

[ursbearhug]

Not to be dramatique but the fact that Blizzard charges money for their piece of shit game that doesn't fucking run is beyond appaling.

You look at Path of Exile and you know it will run junkily sometimes but it's fine because you didn't actually pay to play the game. It is understandable to have a game that runs not-great because final product is completely free to play and they're not charging you to memory leak your computer into oblivion.

Now let's look at rocky story of D4. They release server testing with a game that has 'allegedly' damaged few computers and then just sent you little 'oopsie, here is a patch to not kill your computer, sorry bout that'. Then they release 2 day beta testing, which like... What the fuck do you think you're gonna beta test in 2 days? Like, after this 'testing', game releases and jumping few seasons forward to right now, almost every single system implemented got completely overhauled or removed because not only did it not meet the expectations it was also either busted or worthless or annoying. To me, this screams that game had like Sims4 wannabe background or some shit because you're not telling me this shit has been even surface deep tested by anybody. It's not like the game had any substantial lifespan, it's been what? A year? No self respecting game would revamp every single aspect of it after one year had it been even remotely tested by any competent person with at least two hands, pair of eyes, brain and a heart.

And my most important gripe which is the playability on 'lower spec pcs' which was huge selling point. Look, my machine is not the titan slayer by any strech of imagination but I have run other games despite my lacking specs, on higher settings and less of a shitshow powerpoint presentation. This is not only embarrassing, considering that D4 is not exactly blowing gaming world with its graphical fidelity or whatever the fuck, but it is really just insulting. And I am beyond certain that it is something to do with open world that this game adapted, after that boom of whatever Zelda game back in the day, and nobody fucking asked for. I am sure that this game just runs YandereSimulator-esque 14 thousand lines of worthless and abundant code on every frame and else-if's its way to hell and that is the sole reason why my memory cannot handle it. Lower specs my ass, I don't even get to enjoy this on medium settings and shadows enabled, you have to be pulling my fucking leg.

The real kicker? Path of Exile one, which is 2013 title, in places looks better, can run very janky sometimes, has significantly more options for creative minds to play and costs you exactly 0 american dollars or euros. Meanwhile, game that has been rushed as fuck, *in my opinion*, is priced at 35 euros (and has fucking dog shit exchange rates, like, gw2 is miles kinder to you and your wallet if you have the audacity to not earn euros) and is a game that doesn't fucking run. Seems like a real steal! Yeah, being robbed blind during the day in the middle of extremely crowded street. I'd be less insulted if they just spat in my face.

Oh, to make it even ronchier, it worked... Well, I'm not gonna say fine, but at the very fucking least, I could have made my way to the dungeon? Where it would lag only a little bit. And stutter. And kick me out after I finished. But yeah it quote on quote worked till the newest patch, in which, they felt audacious enough to demand more money for the pleasure of; 'I cannot even play the fucking game'. As if the initial 35 euros was even remotly good investment, considering, that your game simply gave up on me and told me to go fuck myself. Great, thanks.

[naty-js-adopts]

[OPEN] BNHA ADOPTABLE 62 ~

LINK> https://www.deviantart.com/naty-js-adopts/art/OPEN-BNHA-ADOPTABLE-62-1061203032

==========================================

Accepting point payments and mixed payments (points+paypal/ko-fi)! ♦  I do a Paypal Payment Plan!  ♦  Don't claim/bid if your account is less than 3 months and/or has been inactive for a long time ♦ $1=100pts

🔰 This character was based on BNHA's art style, but don't feel obligated to use this character in BNHA fandom, you can use it in any fandom that you want! 🔰

==========================================

1. Flash Light (2 pics)

Quirk >>Flash Light: The character can move from point to point quickly, like a flash of light.

Owner:

SP 1 = $170 (Personal use only)

SP 2 = $340 (Commercial License)

You are also purchasing the "beta" version of this design (#4):

And cannot be sold separately

What you'll get: Image from post 3763 x 2300 px .png without the background + Image from "beta" design post 612 x 885 px .png without the background

===============

For FREE =As soon you claim the character you can tell me the colors changes that you want! You will receive 2 versions drawings: the original and with one with the color changes! (validity only 1 time; only after payment; I'll need color hex codes!)

===============

🌿 RULES 🌿

➽   Accepting point payments and mixed payments (points+paypal/ko-fi)!

➽   Before claim / bid / offer for a character, make sure you have the money needed to pay in 24 hours. If not, please do not claim / bid / offer for the character.

➽  No refund.

➽   Don't use the character and drawings for commercial purposes. Except if you buy the commercial license!

➽   On the first drawing of the adoptable, please credit me for design.

➽ I don't accept bids or purchase orders of accounts with less than 3 months old and/or accounts that have been inactive for a long period of time.

➽ You can change the character and use in any fandom you like, even if you buy an adoptable from a specific fandom you can change it.

➽ You can trade, give, and resell the character for the same value you bought except if have an extra art. Character that you received for free by some event can only be sold if they have extra art!

📌LINKS  ALL MY ADOPTABLES SHOPS/ACCOUNTS  === COMPLETE INFO ABOUT ADOPTABLES/YCH/CUSTOM === Official RESALE/TRADE CENTER === HOW WORKS AN AUCTION ?

==========================

🍋 COMMERCIAL LICENSE x PERSONAL USE 🍋

With the personal use license, you cannot do things with the character/ych/custom that give you a monetary return! Like webcomics on Webtoon/Tapas, Vtuber, monetized videos on TikTok, Instagram, youtube, things to sell, etc.

📌COMMERCIAL LICENSE price for adoptables/ychs/custom of:

$1 --> $70 the price is  ("personal value"+ $70)  

$71 --> infinite     the price is x2 of the original value   

Adoptables that you bought from a resell or trade, or get for free by some event made by me can also get a commercial license! Just send me a message and will give you the price!

After purchasing the commercial license, it's not necessary to renew the license and you can use the character commercially the way you want and anywhere!

============================ 🌵 PAYPAL INVOICE PAYMENT 🌵

I'll need your PayPal email to you be able to receive the PayPal invoice and make the payment! The invoice is made by the Paypal platform and sent by the Paypal platform.

 Your email will not be saved, except if you do the Register of Clients to jump the process of giving me the email at all times that you claim an adoptables/ych/custom. In any case, I'll not use your email for anything.

📌PAYPAL PAYMENT PLAN Option available for adoptables/ych/custom over $100 ! 

The installment value only increases in divisions of 3 or more installments! Example:  Final price is $200  = 2 installments of $100 each, or 4 installments of $52 each

============================

🌵 KO-FI PAYMENT 🌵

You do not need to have a Ko-fi account to pay. >>You can pay through Ko-fi using Stripe or Paypal

On the quantity you put the value and on the message you need to copy and paste the message that I'll be sending to you! 

📌 My Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/natyjs  Please do not send payment before I have contacted you so your payment will not be trusted like a donation!

============================

🌵 POINTS PAYMENTS 🌵

$1 = 100pts.

Points are paid through the commission widget!!  I don't accept points to payment of adoptables/ych/custom by donation pool! Please do not send payment before I have contacted you so your payment will not be trusted like a donation!

——————–  

Art Only  @naty-js   | |   Deviantart Shop   | | How buy an adoptable  | | My adoptables info page | | Register of Clients  | | JJK CUSTOM  | |  BNHA CUSTOM | |   KNY CUSTOM   | |   ONE PIECE CUSTOM | | CUSTOM ANY FANDOM OFF-BASE | | PERSONA 5 CUSTOM  | | CUSTOM IN-BASE ANY FANDOM 

[duskwingmoth]

notes and highlights from reading my discord message history (2016):

girl u used to be so sillay. I should get silly with it sometimes

2016 me was a little confused but was also so fucking right about lars steven universe

ough. Failure to recognize imminent trump presidency. You stupid fucking liberal ffs

do u rember enjoying overwatch. I rember...

Liveblogging the sonic 2016 stream like "this new charmy bee album is bussin"

"I just saw the quintessential torb potg"

"beginning with him dying"

hanging on his corpse for the full respawn timer"

"while his turret did the hard work"

"predictably nowhere onscreen"

I was the first drop dash hater. If there are no more drop dash haters i am dead

attempting to read through this sexting now KNOWING FOR SURE i was absolutely faking it is. cringe

S. Skoop. I forgot that i called skype "skoop" (and that there was a brief period where i had it on my phone while discord was on my pc)

Talking about multiple story/game concepts i have since abandoned. Death

Doesn't matter if it's 2013, 2016, or 2024; somebody somewhere is complaining about JJ Abrams. It is probably me

There was a dang stevenbomb when these messages start and tbh I was right on the money abt steven universe in general. More ppl should have listened to me instead

huniepop lmao

I was still in iPhone Hell

Making comments to friends about things i refuse to share or elaborate on. I have learned nothing

playing ALL the hits tbh we even got Complain About Family in here

Scoutposting but it's overwatch

"defense shouldn't have left the point undefended"

Bitch shut UP about Pokémon

Oh my GOD just Shut Up About Video Games in general

The Sword Art Online hater has logged on

All these tumblr links that don't work anymore. Sad

How did i make it to 22 without realizing i was experiencing caffeine withdrawal

Yes yes past robin you've got nintendo diagnosed as fuck can you not sound rude and elitist and also cryptoracist about it

(three hours worth of messages just ranting about nintendo jfc. 2009 youtube would have loved me)

The Traumadumping,

Watch watch. You can see the exact moment steven universe rips her heart in half

Reading through basically all the previous things in varying order. Knowing what's coming up.

The moment

Oh no... The Federation Force announcement. The five stages of grief logged in real time

girl your dick was not out for harambe you did not even know what that meant

Hare-brained game concepts part 3027498: radio station with hundreds of hours of recorded dj voice lines

360 controller sucks send post

It is so easy to tell what youtube poop i was hyperfixated on at any given point

girl u really went looking for and personally banned specific slurs in your twitch chat and proceeded to NEVER STREAM. Self-harm champion. Self-harm's strongest warrior

Oh my god. The inception of steam user gofasthog was on my birthday

Is sent jerma rumble live-action with no prior knowledge or context. Complains

Affirming my girlfriend's life choices and gender. Rare pre-crack based moment

Not long now

The PSVita Chronicles. Very short-lived

"Why is twitter orange" wtf are you on about

September 26th, 2016; 09:00 AM PDT:

There really is like. A shift in my tone after this. Immediately so much performative anger is just gone

"I'm trying not to think about it tbh" no you should be thinking about it more. More please for your health pLEASE think of the hips you are going to lose your chance

Lesbian Gay Bacon Tomato Quiche Ice Arson. I cracked the code

Impostor syndrome. Envy. Jealousy. Girlthing you need to chill

Posting through having my shoes disintegrate instead of asking for a new pair. Lol. Lmao even

Finally watched the jerma rumble series and enjoyed myself. The redemption arc we all deserved and didn't know we needed

Utterly failing to code basic game functions. I needed my girlf frend to help me she is so smart and cute and lovely

the wii u woes

And the switch jokes. They're bad! They're very bad

I had played the paladins beta. You can tell because i complained about torbjörn overwatch again

Civ VI release date, or: how i learned that having good CPU was actually really important

Also the day i committed to my new name

More coding failure

Mere hours before the election polls are called it dawns on us both that we really are going to get a trump presidency and i weep with despair while trying to convince us both that the worst won't happen

(It didn't. We are alive and together)

You can see me desperately struggling with the growing reality that i am not as politically reasonable as i consider myself

A dark pall over the holidays. I won't elaborate. I don’t think it's necessary

[ashendemon]