#they dont start having this dynamic until way later though

[cyanorth]

does tumblr know about blindfate (darkthur/oscar)

based on this

[mickeym0xley]

hi. i dont go here but I wanna talk.

imagine being Josef Newgarden, 13 and after trying a few sports and not being too good at any, you starting karting, you immediately pick up four titles. you love it. you travel to europe and become the first american to get a Formula Ford Festival title. Europe is harsh to you and in 2011 you return back to america. Something about the home soil fuels you and you win an Indy lights championship. you get into indycar the next year.

meanwhile, across the world in New Zealand, Scott Mclaughlin becomes the youngest driver to win a Supercars race. He breaks the record for most wins in a single season. He's dominant, simple. He's just like you in every way possible. Little do you know, your future best friend is watching you become Penske Perfect. He's watching and rooting for you from an ocean over.

In 2021, Scott comes over from Supercars. You werent ever too close to anyone on the grid- but you two click. You were so used to keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, that you let him in.

in 2021, you have a best friend. you both know that being teammates and friends won't work for long. you both can bet on it long before it happens. in 2022 you create a youtube channel and start making little videos with Scott. People like you guys, they think you're funny. You're not just Josef Newgarden, 2x Indycar champion and Penske driver, but also you're 1/2 of Bus Bros. This is the closest you've ever been with a teammate on this level. It's an emotional dynamic. It carries on into 2023 with a little less passion. Heartbreak in inevitable. Some days you wanna make sure he's okay, other days you hope he suffers. You wanna break his leg- quick and aggressively, he wants to beat your skull in. You'll film a Bus Bros episode that weekend and pretend you didn't openly say that in an interview. You mindlessly believe it will be resolved, that you two can fix it when it falls apart. Scott is a realist, saying you're a limited duo. You're both too egotistical to believe you're wrong is what he says.

2023 wraps up and it's your worst season finish. What happened to Penske perfection? You were bigger than the whole sky, a demon on ovals. You were everything Penske represented. Scott's making you soft. What happened to your perfection that people said was impossible? Scott is not only your best friend, but your teammate. And he's starting to win. He's the friend you held as close as your enemies until you realized he was just like them. Coming into the 2024 season, you unfollow everyone. Rumors are spiraling and you end Bus Bros, quietly taking down the merch site. Scott refuses to answer questions besides saying to ask you about it.

It's the streets of St. Pete, Penske has an illegal car- you all know about it. You and Scott get a 1-2. Podiums are publicity, everyone has their eyes on you. Be as cordial as you can, you'll crop him out of your photos later on instagram.

The cooldown room is more tense, Scott refuses to sit by you. The cars illegal, they figure it out in Long Beach. The St. Pete 1-2 gets stripped away from you. Scott sees things level and you're hungry only for another win, to be seen as the winner you once were. The Barber press conference is an embarrassment for you, you're spilling your guts on a white table while cameras flash. Scott admits to it and takes subtle digs at you in an interview. (x,x)

Scott takes pole position at the 500. Scott leads the most laps. But you won. Your hunger motivated you and here it is, the proof you're better. You lost your best friend for it. you're the first back to back Indy 500 race winner since 2001-2002. People are calling you the villain. This is how it ends. Scott makes fun of you during your speech, "I still love you my bus bro." And thats how it ends. You're still cropping eachother out of posts. You seldomly talk. It's not over though, and it never will be.

Oh and Will Power is there.

[venomous-qwille]

hi qwille!!! I got questions for u! you have lots of characters planned out, and that’s super cool! but how do u usually go about that process? like all your characters are very unique, and I wonder about the design process, as well as how you make their personality distinct! how do you make character dynamics/relationships? because all the scenes I’ve read so far make the characters feel really organic, and mesh really well together! (sorry for all the questions! I’m super curious ^w^)

Hiya! Here is an answer I wrote for this question on discord recently ^^

I will try answer this as thoroughly as possible!

There was a LOT of kill your darlings involved in making characters for gitm. Originally I had a very long list of character ideas that I cut down and down based on the kind of things and themes they would give me the opportunity to write about. I love long ensemble cast stories, thinking back to ones I particularly enjoyed and the ways those characters gelled together helped me a lot. The most important thing when selecting characters was making sure they would give me something interesting to write about! I was also very keen on ones that let me explore the fics main theme of Family from a different angle. I'm not sure how helpful this all is! But yeah, I try to be pretty strict with myself about what I include. The only reason I would include two characters who were very very similar would be to emphasize a difference/divergence between them later on. Characters have to justify themselves by bringing something unique to the table, even if that thing is just a 'very different outlook on life' to the rest of the cast. Over time a lot of those character ideas became more fleshed out in my brain, and characters that were cut from the original shortlist made their way back in. They still have to be able to narratively justify themselves in order to earn a channel in the discord though!

For the gitm guys, while I dont have a literal sheet I fill out I do make sure to answer a couple of basic character work questions: What lie do they believe about themselves/the world? How does it impact the way they interact with others? What central theme do they embody most? What do they want more than anything else? How do they feel about humans? Who are they at their best and who are they at their worst? I found that by answering these sort of questions it helped me discover more about them, which creates more questions- rinse and repeat. The more questions I answered the further away they would get from each other in terms of similarities. The thing that really helped with the gitm boys, especially because their origins are so similar, was leaning in to how different their experiences were post-fazco. They are different people because the world has made them that way. Messing around with foils has been useful too! Characters are no fun in a vacuum, it's how they interact with others that makes them interesting. I like to create ones that will bring out the best and the worst in each other. I think about opposites a lot and I really like narrative symmetry- what lessons can the characters learn from each other? I find that stuff super exciting to read so I really wanted to include it. Some examples of character foils in gitm: Fool & Noon, Sombra & Sunspot, Misuta & Sol

When it comes to finding character voice, I do a lot of test drabbles (a couple of them are on this server), which I use to just fuck around until I find something that feels right. For instance- Sol was very very easy to find the voice of, where as Misuta took weeks of rewrites. Sometimes things take time. Spending this time figuring out their voices at the start really helps fic consistence in the long run, I think. Because of all that prep, I don't really have to do anything to 'get into character' when writing their dialogue (it's fairly second nature now).

In regards to coming up with a character's arc, I look at them and their themes and ask 'what the fuck happened to you, dude?' and then 'how has that entrenched a faulty world view on you?' 'what could you be driven to do because of that world view/misunderstanding?' 'what would it take to fix this world view/misunderstanding?' (the last question is the most important one!). Then voila, you have a very loose framework of a (hopepunk) character arc.

In regards to the actual planning of the fic/character arcs, I have a very big miro board (pic attached) that I use for all this! Most of the major character beats are marked out separately to plot beats etc etc. There are still a bunch of bits that only reside in my brain, but I do try to add them to my plan as soon as they become any kind of concrete. All of the characters also have a background chapter (or rather, a series of chapters that form a short story) attached to their arc, that will recontextualise everything you have learned about them so far! I am so deeply looking forward to dropping these (I already have quite a lot written).

I would say that- for your question on character relationships- the answer does come down to being really specific about what you include. Make sure characters are meaningfully different from eachother, give them goals and experiences that clash and then force them to live/work together in the same space. If you have put time into building your characters before that, then you just need to create opportunities for them to get into conflict and bring out the best/worst in eachother. I really do believe that characters are quite boring in a vacuum- which is why I put so much emphasis on including narrative foils ^^ Tyvm for the ask <3

[suckinitup]

i wanna think about something soft now and i keep turning back to tide and tidalwave. i think yeah of course he’s slept in other people’s beds before he’s hot and a superhero. people would KILL to jump his bones. but i think that theres something really novel to him about like. the idea of sleeping in someone’s bed just to be near them in like… a romantic way. the trust, the comfort, the wanting to be near your person who also wants to be near you. yea this stuff can also be platonic (hi ghostkicks) but tide i think would really yearn for that fairytale romantic sweetness. he hasnt had that before. related—i dont think tidalwave would be explicit with labelling what they are or what they mean to each other yknow. its something that would sneak up on them. theres sexual attraction, ofc, and that’s what tide chalks everything up to at first. Mark looks at him too long while hes making dinner? its because hes checking him out. Tide’s hand lingers against Mark’s when he passes him a pen? obviously its because of the skin contact. Mark stops tensing every time Tide enters a room? well, okay, thats different. Thats just built up trust. theyre more friends than enemies now. and its obviously just the sexual attraction and residual Villain Alertness that made Tide look at Mark often enough to notice. tide can feel the relationship changing all the time. He isnt stupid. he knows its important when mark drags ashe to the hall of elementals after a storm knocks out the power on their street. he knows it means something when theyre up late at night talking about some threat or the kids or some bullshit and when mark gets up to get coffee he brings tide back a mug. its important how mark takes a sip from each mug before handing tide his, but it’s not important because of safety, anymore—its important because its routine, because its something mark does without thinking even when tide doesnt need that proof of safety. its important because when tide makes dinner mark will mock him for the beef stroganoff or whatever other meal that tide doesnt make as well but mark doesnt seem to think of asking tide to eat from his plate anymore. they wont turn on each other—not like that. Their dynamic is changing, and tide knows its changed when they fight (about the kids or mark’s clone bigotry or WATCH or remnants of overlord’s organization) and though the air crackles and Mark is shouting—tide can see Mark hesitating to genuinely fight him, fists shaking and clenched tight at his side, so tide hesitates too and neither of them throw the first punch.

imagine william fucking around and making the wisps fly through everyone’s hair and is especially fucking around with mark’s and tide keeps laughing. he’d be worried, but he sees the crinkle in mark’s eyes beyond his scowl, laughs harder for it and his heart feels so big and warm. (ashe giggling quietly behind his hands but later that night hes like. “….guys i think my dad has a crush on your dad” because he’d been able to see the softness in that scowl when mark looked at tide)

where am i. right. tide snd mark spending more time together. spending more time in each others spaces. Slow to acclimate into the other’s personal bubble, but making constant, glacial progress until they can sit comfortably next to each other on the couch, practically squished together to make room for the teens who sprawl wildly during movie night. imagine mark starts talking about his wife more. not much, and only to tide, and only in little references (plucking a flower caught on tide’s locs after a battle, quietly noting “she really liked these” before tucking the flower behind tide’s ear). imagine tide, also trying to open up, talking about the lab and his family and. yeah. okay. maybe he Is a little mad about the way he’s treated as a clone. just. something growing between them at such a slowburn pace that william and vyncent have to gag and then bribe dakota (who has suffered ENOUGH from ghostknife) to stop him from shouting “JUST KISS ALREADY” at the top of his lungs.

somethinf something. Imagine a big fight. lasts all day, multiple moving parts, everyone is exhausted. for some reason they cant go back to the hall of elementals—maybe its damaged or something. they go back to marks house, the teens collapse onto the sofa and tide drifts, dizzy, almost dead on his feet into the kitchen to make some coffee. He sits at the table, puts his head on his arms while he waits for the coffee to brew, and is half-conscious enough to register mark coming into the room a few minutes later but Not conscious enough to actually greet him. mark puts one hand on his shoulder. “hey. come on. youre gonna hurt your neck if you sleep like that.” and tide mutters something nonsensical so mark sighs and tugs at him, half-bullying half-pulling tide to his feet. tide stumbles, so mark lets him lean against him as he guides him from the room. they pass the living room and tide sees all the kids passed the fuck out on the couch and something alert and afraid in his brain finally shuts off and he just. he feels safe. and he doesnt think much, but then there’s a warm bed and a soft pillow and he’s so relieved to finally actually sleep.

he wakes up again in the middle of the night pressed against mark’s side, clinging to one of his arms like a koala bear and one of mark’s legs is thrown across his own. theyre close enough to share a pillow—mark’s shoulder practically is tide’s pillow, and mark’s gentle snoring is strangely soothing. unfamiliar, but tide kind of wishes it wasnt. he starts to drift back to sleep but not before he thinks that, maybe, he’s already living in something like a fairytale after all. just one made for a superhero snd a supervillain and their very super children. he smiles and squeezes marks arm a little tighter and goes back to sleep

the next day mark goes and hides in the bathroom for like twenty minutes because god DAMNIT he was so caught up in the thought of tide in his bed fhat he forgot about the MOTHERFUCKING AIR MATTRESS. its deeply embarrassing. ashe will fucking Know. and this isnt a physical pain or a villain thing but it feels like he has to hide it all the same so he starts concocting plans to hide the air mattress or throw it out or tear it to shreds so he can claim he couldnt find it.

tide smiles really sweetly at him over breakfast. and hey, thats weird, and it makes mark’s heart flutter in his chest but he’s been dealing with this stupid crush for a while now he’s just gonna keep on dealing. but then tide asks mark if he can show him something, and mark is confused but like. okay. (he’d almost spat out his coffee because tide had said it so weirdly it almost sounded like a proposition, but then he’d gotten a look at tide’s face (a little shy. Eager. but nothing seductive or indicative of that thought-line) and thought Welp at all the feelings that stirred up before putting them in a little box in his brain. hes too busy to make this thing with tide weird)

anyway tide takes mark to the lake by marks house. lures him into the water. mark is a little baffled but like. Okay. tide makes a bubble for them underwater and they set off, sitting next to each other in this little bubble of air. they talk a little—mark is like woah. powerful. thats hot. hes a little on guard but he cant help but appreciate the way the light flickers over tide, the way it shines in his blue blue eyes. its nice and they talk a little and its one of those intimate moments where its only intimate because they know each other so well. but they finally arrive at a certain point at the bottom of the lake and tide is like. this is where i woke up after the kids threw me in here to protect you. do you remember that. they wanted to put me somewhere that you couldnt reach. and mark is like oh. and theres something to This that is bigger than he was expecting and he’s struggling a little bit and he struggles even more when tide takes his hand (tides hand is warm), lowers their air bubble, and presses the palm of marks hand to the cold (dry) sand. tide says quietly, now youve reached it.

oh. mark says again. and like an idiot, he asks if thats what tide wanted to show him. tide hesitates, then says, even quieter, that no. what he really wanted was to see if mark would let him do this. and he starts to lean in for a kiss.

mark’s fingers curl into the sand and without thinking he puts his hand on tide’s arm. tide stops and mark panics and says, a little breathlessly, “really heroic to proposition a guy when you control all his air.” and tide fucking. panics. rips himself away from mark and goes OH SHIT NO WAIT—

but mark is an asshole and he feels better now that tide is off kilter too, now that theyre on what feels like level footing and he has a bit more control over the situation, and he doesn’t even really feel bad for laughing because when he leans forwards (using his hand on tide’s arm to pull him back) and kisses him, tide clings to him like theyll both drown if he lets go.

they still wouldnt talk about what they are. it doesnt matter, and it would give the teens more ammo to mock them. but they start sleeping in each others’ rooms whenever they go over, and tide gets to have his fairytale romance

[oukabarsburgblr]

Hello! I am new, and wanted to ask 3 things for you:

1.) Is Daichi a type of yandere, and why is he obsessed with the reader?

2.) Are you maybe interested in writing JJK?

3.) Can I be 🎃 anon?

-🎃 Have nice day studying/whatever your busy doing, keep up the good work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Hello there and 3) yes u can be 🎃 anon, reminds me of that one game kubz scouts played for days on end. Pumpkin race? The one with the time that he tried to one up haha

1) to be honest, its been a while since i wrote that fanfiction and ever since then ive been focusing on my ocs so much hshsh. I do think daichi can be classified as a psychopath. A yandere? I wouldnt say he loves the reader (during his third year) and i could say for a fact even he acknowledges he doesnt harbor romantic feelings for the reader until much later (after the training camp shenanigan) however, he did harvest some type of attraction to the reader. An unhealthy one. Where the dynamic is between an object and an owner? Not a pet or a partner, but an object instead. Something he can switch on and off, mold into his liking and reader just so happened to be a perfect victim for it. Although he does grow to be fond of you, ever since how obedient you became. So many screaming nights passed in your house.

Now came the question of why? Why did he do all of this? Why did he instigate it the second the reader came into his view? I tried explaining it in the second part of the fic. Sugawara and Asahi would have treated reader like any other first year if it werent for Daichi. Maybe suga a bit sociopathic but daichi was the match that started the flame.

I think it came from the canon fact that Daichi was the rock of the team, their anchor, their foundation. I thought of him as someone youd look up to, youd rely on but there had to be days where he wasnt feeling himself right? Where he finds all of them a tad bit annoying, but that wouldnt be nice, they were his friends after all. And you came into the picture. On a bad day, where he just felt shitty and you suddenly came stumbling into the club, making a ruckus, curse words from your mouth scratching his eardrums and a thought slipped his mind where he found you so fucking annoying. However, it wouldnt be fair to thrust all that negative energy onto you so he did what he could, ignoring you until he could cool himself down. Maybe the day after he could find himself talking to you again. Wrong. He still finds you annoying and rude. Then there was this urge that came from deep within his stomach, this feral desire to grasp at you, clench at your face, pulling your skin back so you would behave- Too much blood so no can do. He still found you annoying though, hence, the snowball rolls where he decided to just change you. Sugawara and Asahi was a massive help, pinning you into the corner until he had you cumming around his finger.

If given the chance, where there would be no repurcussions, no trace of any evidence whatsoever, Daichi Sawamura would have murdered you, killing you in cold blood and burying your body deep within the mountains. A heavy burden would lift from his shoulders and he felt like the world would work his way again. But there was no solid plan for it so he never took the chance nor thought to.

Can you tell that Daichi is my favourite? Hahaha ive said this like three times now. I loveeeee him.

2) would i ever write jjk! One of my favourite readers have requested a satosugu x bottom male reader in my inboxes and i will consider but heres the thing.

I dont watch jjk😭

Well, i did, until i dropped it. I think it was at episode 20+ on season 1. I used to be a huge shounen person but now im a slice of life fan (although they can be quite boring sometimes) i guess im more into thrillers but in a normal setting? But i know jjk characters.

I used to have an obsession w sukuna haha. Ik maki, ik zenin naoya, ik todo aoi, like ik them and ik what happened to them (rip nanami) but idk i think i have to get hooked on really well for me to watch jjk so that i can write it. We'll see deffo! But i plan to watch chainsaw man first hshshs

[harbingersglory]

miko is SO REAL for that, two switches fighting over who gets to dom is the best dynamic. if you have time/want to i'd be curious to hear any sub headcanons you have for lisa, ei, ningguang and/or kafka!

this is so incredibly self indulgent because i see ningguang, ei and kafka in the same sentence and explode. everyone pretend i didnt accidentally pick a fav here um

ningguang i already see as a pillow princess more than anything she fits this so well. absolutely adores going slow + worship. treat this woman like royalty and lord you will not regret it. she goes all out to make the night as perfect as possible. will not let you have a hand in any of it sorry!! this is her turf. perfect atmosphere suited to your tastes (tons of candles, if you like that, or just going by moonlight is also her style). incense, taking a few minutes beforehand just to really get settled in the mood (usually by cuddling, but shes not against just taking a moment for some tea or even a game of chess).

you'll also probably need all that extra time to sort through whatever shes bought this time. when i said she goes the whole nine yards i mean it. she has money and she will use it. very expensive lingerie for herself (and you, if thats your thing.) and literally anything you could ever want. it heavily depends on what you both want out of the night but she spares no mora making it the best she can.

the non-sexual intimacy before hand (and especially after) is important to her she takes it very seriously (for the both of you). you'll probably get dragged into taking a long bath afterwards before actually going to bed. hope you arent too tired! because its gonna be a while before you actually sleep.

because this woman has stamina. technically. she's just really pent up and theres no better way to get that stress out then soft sex with her partner. shes not picky about positions really but she has a soft spot for laying on her stomach with a pillow to prop up her hips (really accentuates the pillow princess part, huh /j). if you start massaging her she's gonna wake up the entirety of liyue. she's normally quiet but lord knows she needs it and she cant keep quiet for the life of her.

genuinely just very soft and gentle. she just needs some good pampering after a long day to unwind (preferably with a glass of wine, but thats for later).

ei..is very awkward about it. she probably gets embarrassed if you bring it up but shes not. opposed per se. she's just used to domming that she has no idea what to do. genuinely a mess the first time around but she gets the hang of it quick (shes a quick learner :])

also you just really get to see a side of her you usually never do! she's usually big on topping and shes pretty calm and composed about it (usually). not cold, just..she doesn't outwardly express things often. except when shes subbing. its like a switch flipped

just dont tease her about how visibly flustered and awkward she is about it. because she is. horribly so. shes still pretty quiet but thats just ei, to be fair. its like a cute, nervous puppy. call her a good girl though and she might short circuit so badly the shogun comes out

though i also see ei as someone who prefers giving even when subbing. a dangerous combo considering her body is a puppet and, yknow, cant get tired. you will have to pry this woman off you shes lowkey insatiable when it comes to pleasing you. 100% less of a brat, though. you give her an order shes following through with it before you can blink. efficient!

kafka is similar to miko, imo. maybe yelan too?? she gives off big brat vibes when she subs. she wont use suggestion in bed unless your 100% cool with it and even then its usually when she doms but when she subs? shes a menace. bit of a masochist, to be honest. she'll push your buttons until you crack and decide to punish her but woops, thats just what she wants so she wins anyway!

she cant feel fear but she certainly enjoys a good thrill. specifically sensory deprivation. cover her eyes with a blindfold and keep her guessing. its probably her favorite part, the closest she can get to fear. especially if you add a bit of pain into it.

choking, spanking, bit of blood..this woman is smiling through it all like she's the happiest woman in the world. especially if it makes you frustrated. shes like it desperate and rough.

if thats not your speed, though, she can get that thrill in other ways. semi public sex is her jam so sandwich her against a wall in some random supply closet and make her scream. shes not quiet even in the comfort of whatever room shes booked this time and you'll have to physically shut her up if you dont want to get caught. shes still a brat at heart, though. put your fingers in her mouth and she'll bite. your gonna need the patience of a saint to dom kafka.

[getosbf]

I saw some people talking about yuumori character sexualities and just wanted to add my own headcanons <33

Sherlock: see now, we all know sherlock has been explicitly stating his... Repulsion (yes, not "oh im not attracted to them" straight up repulsion at the thought of being in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with them)

And im not saying sherlock is misogynistic. He has been seen very happily helping women with their cases. And might i add that on the Noahtic, while everyone was prancing around with a lady on his arm, sherlock was standing in the corner. Even though he was also with ladies he was CLEARLY in it only for their appreciation of him. Because you see, Sherlock is a clever man. He saw these bunch of women who had no one to dance with and was aware that they would be head over heels for his skills. And he was probably sent to the Noahtic by mycroft, so why not pass some time and get some praise?

But as soon as he met Liam he felt an instant obsession connection. Not necessarily romantic, but this is where that japanese feeling that i forgot the name of comes in. The feeling of meeting someone and instantly knowing that while you dont feel anything now, you could potentially be dynamic (is that the correct word, for sherliam i think it is)

And as i said and will say again, sherlock is a clever man. Of course he's not gonna sit around sexually frustrated, when he can easily use his charms and skills to find the right people. But as per literally canon, until he met Liam he didnt feel romantic (that comes later though, first was obsession) "attraction".

Conclusion? Gay demiromantic.

William: now while william never had a "repulsion" to women, I'd say he quite literally has a repulsion to any idea of a romantic relationship at all. He looked at london and got his "lemme fix that" hyperfixation game so heavy that he forgot he was alive most of the times. That man falls asleep on random occasions at literally anywhere at any time because he avoids sleep for his plans. Do you expect him to have any sort of romantic or sexual relationship? No, sir.

Then waltzes in Sherlock. Like i said, instant obsession. Though for William, that japanese feeling never came. While he was always hoping for a different reality where he and sherlock could be together, he never acknowledged his feelings enough to let himself feel something.

But talking about sexual attraction, while i do firmly believe Liam doesnt feel it for the better part of his life, he did start to feel some things a while after meeting sherlock. He fucking KNEW what he was doing with that "catch me if you can, mr holmes~" I think it surprised him too, all this strange emotions trickling in slowly after years of not feeling anything.

Conclusion? Demisexual AND demiromantic.

John: thought he was straight, but you all have seen his reaction to irene when they dressed up as the king of bohamia right? I'd say bisexual, but he's still learning to embrace that part of his identity. And even when he does embrace it, i dont think he's gonna do anything about it. Cuz like cmon, its 19th century London. Do you think he'll damn himself by loving a man when he is capable of what most people like him are not (to love someone of the opposite gender)? But I DO think he had a crush on louis for a while but i think that just for shits and giggles hehe

Louis: aroace. No questions asked. He loves in a very... Devotional way. Like liam and possibly albert, he has an unbreakable attachment to them. His love for their found family? He is soooo aro ace coded.

Albert: wineromantic. bisexual disaster.

Moran: pansexual just cuz. He loves his women but he has had something with albert and possibly james that is simply not heterosexual. And he was in the army cmon if there's a hole there's a goal

James: pansexual BECAUSE, hear me out, he had known this since he was a teenager. Which is why it took him until he got to Moriarty's to realise he actually wants to be a man. He had known men love him, so he was styling his hair and wearing tight corsets. He had known women loved him, so he was putting on disguises to kiss and snog. I think he was just so comfortable in his identity he never felt the need to be the opposite gender. But he was and, well, we're happy for our boy.

Fred: ace, maybe demi, and genderfluid. I might be projecting on the genderfluid part here but can you blame me? He/they pronouns.

Jack: he's above such measly attractions (idk maybe he was young he could have had something but idk anything while looking at him now)

Mycroft: gay gay homosexual gay. No straight man spends 30 minutes every morning putting pomade in his hair (hiding a part of your identity, already? Huh myckey?)

Miss hudson: straight because she didn't feel any (okay maybe somewhat) attraction to irene but when she met JAMES ouahahahaha

Herder: married to the grind 💪💪💪 making love to the game 💯💯💯 he only loves one thing and thats his craft 🔥🔥🔥

Just kidding he definitely has something gay going on

Billy: he has some WAY GAYER going on. Have never seen him interact with women (how gay) so i can't say much but he definitely gives bi/leaning on gay vibes

[gorematchala]

I finished re-reading Claymore a few days ago and I'm happy to say that manga held up to highschool me's memories

Coming at it from the perspective of being almost twice as old as when I first read it, and having just caught up on Berserk, I was worried. Because in middle and highschool I was easily manipulated by greatswords and pretty girls. I still am but thats besides the point. So I was thinking about the series again because Angel at Dusk reminded me of that specific brand of body horror, and I was like oh no, did that shit have any depth or was I reading a Berserk ripoff with no context. But no its good

My feeling on it is basically that it isnt, to me, a life changing sort of work. I didn't come away from it feeling the way I felt at the end of Dungeon Meshi or current Witch Hat Atelier, but the characters are all likeable, and basically every reveal, plot twist, and surprise they introduce hits sufficiently. Theres never a point where you get a close up shot of a character saying something and you dont go "oh fuck". Which is interesting since I was not impressed with the world building in the first half. Later on once they start traveling the map a bit it starts to feel more like a thought out world, but initially when theyre just going around hunting monsters its like is this whole world just several small villages with monsers in them lol

The art style progresses a lot through the series. Initially its hard to tell if its really good or kinda bad sometimes but by the end characters intended beauty is being fully conveyed. Theres one who is basically supposed to look like an angel and by the end she kinda does. I also have to give the artist credit for coming up with so many unique body horror creature designs because no two look the same for the whole run of it. And it isn't too monster of the week either but they do all have unique powers, even if some of the Claymore's abilities are stretching the internal consistency a little as time goes on. Especially by the end where one characters special move is she wiggles her head really fast and it lets her sweep her entire body like one centimeter off the ground to cut peoples legs off because its impossible to fight an enemy who is on the floor. But in the moment youre like, oh no!! The characters I like need their legs!!

And I guess lastly I really like Clare, even though shes sort of barely keeping up or not keeping up during the events of the whole thing. I say that as in, I can see why someone else could criticize some of her agency in the plot and in the final battle. Because she is often handed new techniques and powers, but she gives it her all to survive and achieve her goals despite being literally half as strong as everyone else by default, and she never feels over or underpowered. Shes often balanced by her own mental state, which usually involves being a little too impulsive despite her appearing to be a calm Vergil type. My favorite characters other than her and Stretchy Helen were probably Riful and Dauf, because of their dynamic of unimaginable horror, and shlubby husband who is invincible but very stupid, but they're so in love that you can almost forget they spend all day torturing women by stabbing them until they turn into monsters. And then they introduce the power dynamic between her and the other Abyssal Ones and you kinda start to root for her if only because she would be easier to deal with than Priscilla lol. Priscilla felt a little bit underdeveloped perhaps but i have no real complaints because she does tons of cool shit and at the end of the day thats all you can ask of a shonen antagonist

[minnie--verse]

Pen Pals -- A Park Sunghoon Fic

!!PART 3!!

(link to pt. 1) // (link to pt. 2)

Summary: You, Ren, are a college student, taking what you thought would be a normal composition class—until you’re assigned a pen pal with your professor’s second class. What happens when you fall for someone you know… but dont?

pairing: sunghoon x f!reader(ren)

genre: strangers to lovers, non idol au, crack, mostly fluff, later chapters to include possible angst//comfort, slow burn.

general warnings: college students!mc, slow burn, love square, swearing, possible adult content in future chapters.

word count: ~6.7k

!!this is not proof read!!

thank u for reading<3

— — —

Sunny,

It’s nice to hear back from you. I have to admit, your letters have become something I look forward to—they’re a break from the routine, a small moment of connection in an otherwise hectic day.

I read your letter about your art final and your friend. It made me think about how different our paths are, yet how they somehow align in these letters. You’re creating things, bringing art to life, while I’m more the type to observe and analyze. My days are mostly filled with reading, writing, and, if I’m lucky, a bit of quiet in between.

You mentioned how your friend keeps you grounded. I get that. My roommate does the same for me. He’s always trying to push me out of my comfort zone, to see the world from a different angle. I guess you could say he keeps things interesting, even if his methods are a bit... unorthodox. 

It’s strange, isn’t it? How we’re connected by these letters, yet know so little about each other. But I think that’s part of what makes this interesting. It’s like we’re sharing pieces of ourselves in a way that we might not with people we see every day.

The snowy night I wrote about—there’s something about snow that makes the world feel quiet, almost like it’s pausing to let you catch your breath. I imagine your art might capture that feeling in some way, the way you described working on your final project. There’s beauty in those moments of stillness, don’t you think?

I’d like to hear more about your art and how you see the world through your creations. And of course, anything else you feel like sharing. It’s nice to have someone to write to, even if we’re just pen pals.

Talk to you later, Snow

— — —

You sit in the corner of the bustling cafeteria, the sounds of chatter and clinking cutlery filling the air around you. It’s lunchtime, but the food on your tray remains untouched as you unfold Snow’s letter, your eyes scanning the familiar handwriting. The cafeteria feels miles away as you begin to read.

His words pull you in, and before you know it, you’ve read the letter twice, maybe three times. There’s something about the way he writes, the way he shares these little slices of his life with you, that makes you feel like you’re getting to know him in a way that’s deeper than just surface-level.

You find yourself lingering on the part about his roommate, imagining what this nameless person might be like. From what Snow described, it sounds like he’s the opposite of Snow—more outgoing, maybe a bit of a troublemaker, but someone who’s trying to bring Snow out of his shell. The dynamic feels familiar in a way, reminding you of your own friendship with Callie.

You take a sip of your drink, mulling over the growing interest you have in these exchanges. It’s not just the content of his letters, but the person behind them—someone thoughtful, introspective, and maybe even a little lonely. You can’t help but wonder what he’s like in person, though you know that’s not something you can just ask. There’s an unspoken rule in these letters, a line neither of you has crossed yet.

As you reread his letter, you feel a warmth spread through you, a comfort in knowing that someone out there is taking the time to write to you, to share a part of themselves. It’s something you hadn’t expected when the assignment started, but now, you find yourself looking forward to each new letter, wondering what Snow will say next.

The cafeteria continues to buzz around you, but for a moment, it’s just you and Snow’s words, connecting across a space that feels more like a bridge than a gap. You feel a strange mix of anticipation and contentment as you fold the letter back into its envelope, carefully tucking it away in your bag.

As you finish your lunch, your thoughts drift to what you’ll write in return. There’s a sense of wanting to share more, to keep this connection going, even if it’s just through ink and paper. Snow’s right—there’s something beautiful about the stillness he described, something you might try to capture in your art.

But there’s also something more you want to share, something lighter, maybe even a bit playful. After all, Snow’s letters have become a small, unexpected joy in your life, and you want to reflect that back to him.

You’re lost in your thoughts, Snow’s letter still lingering in your mind as you take a sip of your drink, when you hear a familiar voice—smooth, quiet, and unmistakably him.

“Ren.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you look up, startled. Standing there, just a few feet from your table, is Sunghoon. His dark hair falls slightly into his eyes, and there’s that usual unreadable expression on his face. For a moment, you just blink at him, caught off guard by his sudden appearance.

“Sunghoon,” you manage to say, trying to keep your voice steady as you process the fact that he’s here, in the cafeteria, talking to you. You weren’t expecting to see him again so soon after your library encounter, and definitely not here, now, while you’re still thinking about Snow.

He looks down at the seat across from you, a silent question in his eyes. You nod, and he sits down, placing his tray on the table. He glances at your untouched food, then back at you, his expression still difficult to read.

“You looked… deep in thought,” he says, his voice low and calm. “Something on your mind?”

You feel a slight blush creep up your cheeks as you realize how absorbed you must’ve looked. “Just… a letter,” you say, trying to downplay the significance of it. “I was rereading it.”

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow slightly, his gaze briefly flicking to your bag where you’ve tucked the letter away. “From a friend?”

You glance at the letter, then back at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “It’s… an assignment for Composition class?”

His eyes widen slightly in recognition, and you can see the wheels turning in his head. “Wait, you’re taking that too? We must be in the opposite classes.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued by the coincidence, “Oh really? I didn’t think much of it at first, but it’s actually been kind of nice. How about you?”

Sunghoon nods, taking a bite of his lunch before responding. “Same here. I thought it was just a pointless assignment, but it’s not bad.”

You chuckle, shaking your head as you remember how skeptical you’d been at the start. “Yeah, I was pretty skeptical too. It seemed like just another thing to do for class. But once I started, it was... different. More personal than I thought.”

He smiles, and you can tell he’s on the same page. “Yeah—it’s easier to talk to someone without the physical interaction.”

“There’s definitely something strange about it,” you agree, your thoughts drifting back to Snow’s letter. “Like, you’re sharing these little pieces of yourself with a complete stranger, and it makes you think about things in a different way.”

Sunghoon nods, looking like he’s considering your words. “Yeah. I guess it’s a nice change. I enjoy being anonymous, and waiting to see what she says.”

You find yourself smiling more, feeling a warmth in the conversation. “Exactly. It’s like a little surprise each time. I’ve started looking forward to it, even if it’s just for the sake of curiosity.”

His eyes briefly flicker to the envelope again, but he quickly looks away, not wanting to pry too much. “So, how’s your pen pal’s writing? Do you find it interesting?”

You think about Snow’s eloquent words and how much they’ve resonated with you. “Yeah, it’s actually quite nice. They’ve been really expressive about their thoughts and experiences. It’s refreshing to read.”

He nods, seeming to understand completely. “Mine’s been pretty good too. I think the anonymity of it makes it easier to open up in a way.”

You both share a moment of silent agreement, appreciating the irony of discussing your pen pals while keeping your own identities hidden. The conversation shifts to more mundane topics—classes, weekend plans, and the usual college life chatter—but there’s a subtle undercurrent of something more meaningful beneath it all.

Sunghoon’s gaze drifts around the bustling cafeteria, “People watching? That seems like a fancy way of saying you’re nosy.”

You roll your eyes, “If you wanna be negative about it then yeah, sure. Nosy. I just like to see what people are up to, you know? Decipher their story.”

Sunghoon looks around the room, scanning the diverse crowd. “Okay, let’s start with that group of friends over by the window.”

You follow his gaze and start to analyze the scene. “Yeah, they look like they’re having a great time. The girl in the red sweater is laughing so hard her glasses are slipping down her nose. She’s clearly the life of the party. The guy next to her in the black hoodie seems to be trying to make a joke, but it’s not landing as well—he’s got that ‘awkward but trying’ look.”

Sunghoon chuckles, clearly enjoying the insight. “How about the couple over by the food counter?”

You glance over and see the couple in question. “Oh, them? The guy seems a bit impatient, like he’s waiting for his food to come faster. Meanwhile, the girl is chatting animatedly with the server, probably trying to make a connection or get a special order. It’s like they’re in their own little world, and he’s just trying to keep up.”

Sunghoon nods, clearly impressed with your detailed observations. “That’s pretty spot-on. What about them, huddled around a laptop?”

You look over and analyze the situation. “They’re working on a group project, I’d say. The girl in the blue scarf seems to be the one taking charge, pointing at the screen with a lot of enthusiasm. The guy next to her is nodding along, but he looks a bit overwhelmed. He’s probably trying to keep up with all the ideas being thrown around

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the process. “I didn’t realize how much you could pick up from just observing. It’s like you’re seeing a whole story unfold without them even knowing you.”

You smile, enjoying the shared activity. “Exactly. It’s fascinating to see how people interact and what little details tell you about their mood or situation. It’s almost like creating a narrative from real life.”

Sunghoon looks at you with an impressed smirk, “You’re an expert at being nosy then, huh?.”

You nod in agreement, feeling a sense of satisfaction in sharing this part of yourself. “Yeah, it’s a bit like that. It’s also nice to share it with someone who’s genuinely interested. Makes it even more enjoyable

Sunghoon’s eyes wander around the room again, clearly more engaged in the activity now. “So, do you usually come to the cafeteria to people-watch, or is this a special occasion?”

You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Oh, it’s a regular thing for me. The cafeteria is one of the best spots for it. Lots of different people and interactions to observe.”

You find yourself lingering on Sunghoon’s face for a moment longer than you intend. There’s something about the way he quietly observes the room, his dark eyes taking everything in with a calm, almost unreadable expression. He’s hard to read, but there’s a depth to him that intrigues you. 

You quickly glance back down at your finished plate, hoping he didn’t notice you staring. But as the silence stretches, you feel his eyes on you. Sunghoon clears his throat, his voice a little hesitant. “So, uh… what do you see when you look at me? I mean, you’re good at this observing thing, right?”

You freeze, your heart skipping a beat at his question. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you try to gather your thoughts, suddenly aware of how close you two are sitting. “Oh, um… well, I guess…”

You look up at him, meeting his gaze, and the words tumble out before you can stop them. “Your eyes… they’re really… intense. But not in a scary way. More like… there’s a lot going on behind them, but you don’t really let it show. It’s like… you’re watching the world, but keeping your thoughts to yourself. It’s… I don’t know, they have some kind of mysterious pull to them.”

Sunghoon blinks, clearly caught off guard by your answer. His expression softens, and for a moment, he looks almost vulnerable. “Mysterious, huh? I’ve never thought of myself that way.”

You fumble for words—that was fucking weird, Ren—you think, scrambling to fix your words. “I-I mean, not in a bad way! It’s just… you have this kind of… stoic presence, but your eyes say a lot more than you let on. It’s like there’s a whole other side to you that most people don’t see.”

Sunghoon looks down, a faint smile playing on his lips, his cheeks tinged with a slight flush. 

You nod, feeling the awkwardness of your own words but also a strange sense of connection. “Sorry that wasn’t what you meant and I am… fucking weird now, huh?”

He looks back at you, his gaze softening. “No, no, no—“ He laughs gently and shakes his head, “It’s… actually kind of nice. I appreciate it, Ren.”

As you both settle in Sunghoon’s apartment, the storm still raging outside, Sunghoon suddenly looks at you with a mix of nervousness and determination. “You know, I’ve been meaning to tell you why I couldn’t say anything when we bumped into each other at the park. I was just… kind of enthralled by how pretty you were.”

He shakes his head, a slight flush still coloring his cheeks. “I know that sounds a bit stupid, but it’s the truth. I was too caught off guard to say anything, so I probably just looked broody.”

You feel your face heat up at his confession, but you can’t help but laugh a little, shaking your head. “Honestly, I just thought you were kind of an asshole. Like, you just bumped into me and then stared me down. I had no idea you were, you know… stunned or whatever.”

Sunghoon’s eyes widen, and he looks immediately embarrassed, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to come off that way. I really wasn’t trying to be a jerk. I just… didn’t know how to react.”

You laugh again, but this time more warmly, seeing how flustered he is. “It’s okay, really. I guess we both misread the situation. I’m glad we got that cleared up.”

Sunghoon nods, still looking a bit embarrassed, but he manages a sheepish smile. “Yeah, me too. I guess I need to work on my reactions a bit. Sorry again for giving off the wrong vibe.”

You wave it off, feeling the tension ease as you smile at him. “No harm done. It’s kind of funny, actually, now that we’re talking about it.”

Sunghoon chuckles, the embarrassment starting to fade. “Yeah, I guess it is. I’m really glad we’re getting to know each other better now, though.”

“Well, now that we’ve both embarrassed ourselves—“ You laugh before a sigh escapes you and you lean back against the booth seat you were in. 

Callie was right—which was something you didn’t like to admit very often—but maybe Sunghoon was something you could chase after. 

— — —

Snow,

Your last letter caught me off guard—in a good way. It’s not every day someone asks about my life outside of school or my perspective on the world as an artist. It made me realize how rare it is to have someone actually care about those things. So, thank you for that.

Where do I start? Outside of school, I guess I’m pretty much the same person. Art isn’t just something I study—it’s how I see the world. I know that might sound cliché, but it’s true. When I walk through campus, or sit in a coffee shop, or even just people-watch from a bench, I’m always noticing the little details that others might overlook. The way the light hits someone’s hair, the shadows that play on the ground, the fleeting expressions on people’s faces as they pass by. It’s like everything is a potential piece of art, even the most mundane moments. I think that’s why I love being an artist so much. It’s like I have this secret lens that lets me see the beauty in everything, even when the world feels overwhelming.

But that’s not to say it’s always easy. There are days when I feel like I’m carrying the weight of everything I see. It’s like I’m constantly trying to capture moments, to hold onto them before they slip away, but sometimes it’s exhausting. There’s so much emotion in the world, and it can be overwhelming to try and process it all. I guess that’s why I retreat into my art. It’s my way of making sense of everything, of turning the chaos into something tangible.

Outside of that, I’m just a normal college student, trying to navigate life and figure out who I am. I have my close friends, like Callie, who keep me grounded. She’s the type of person who can make me laugh even when I’m stressed out of my mind, which is more often than I’d like to admit. We balance each other out, I think. She’s practical and a bit of a realist, while I’m the one with my head in the clouds, always dreaming and creating. It’s a good dynamic, and I’m grateful to have her in my life.

But enough about me—how about you? You’ve been so thoughtful in your letters, but I feel like I don’t know much about you yet. What do you see when you look at the world? What’s your perspective on life? I’d love to hear more about what makes you, well… you.

Talk to you later—Sunny

— — — 

Your days have settled into a comfortable rhythm, a mix of classes, painting, and the occasional coffee break with Callie. Mornings start with you groggily pulling yourself out of bed, the faint light of dawn filtering through your curtains as you get ready for another day of classes. You make sure to grab breakfast, a habit Callie has drilled into you after too many mornings of skipped meals. Then it's off to campus, where you navigate the familiar paths with a sense of routine, waving to acquaintances and exchanging quick hellos with classmates.

Your classes keep you busy—lectures, assignments, and the constant pressure of upcoming exams. But amidst the academic grind, there's a part of your day you look forward to the most: those moments you spend in the library. It started with that first meeting, an accidental collision of schedules and a shared space, but now it’s become something more intentional.

You’ve found yourself meeting Sunghoon regularly in the library, often in that same reserved room where you first actually talked. It’s a quiet, tucked-away corner of campus where you both can focus on your work but also where conversation flows easily between the two of you. At first, it was just studying side by side, exchanging the occasional word or glance, but soon you started talking more—about classes, about life, about the things that matter to you both.

There’s a comfort in his presence, a steadiness that you hadn’t expected from someone who seemed so closed off at first. He listens when you speak, really listens, and when he shares something about himself, it feels like he’s letting you into a part of his world that few others see. The more time you spend together, the more you realize how much you enjoy his company, how much you’ve come to look forward to these meetings.

He’s still a man of few words, but when he does speak, there’s a thoughtfulness to it that you’ve come to appreciate. Sometimes, you catch yourself smiling at something he says, or at the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention. And sometimes, when he’s focused on his work, you let yourself wonder what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. It’s a strange kind of closeness that’s developed between you two, one that feels both new and familiar at the same time.

And then there are the little things—the way he’ll bring you a coffee if he knows you’ve had a rough day, or the way you’ve started sharing music recommendations, discovering you have more in common than you initially thought. There’s a warmth to your interactions now, a quiet understanding that seems to have grown naturally out of these moments spent together.

You can’t quite put your finger on when it happened, but somewhere along the way, Sunghoon became more than just someone you ran into on campus. He became someone you genuinely care about, someone whose presence you crave more often when you had to wait for another letter. And as you sit across from him in that familiar library room, you find yourself wondering what this connection means, where it might lead, and how much closer the two of you might become.

— — —

Sunny,

I have to admit, after reading your last letter, I found myself looking at the world a little differently. It’s like your words opened up something in me, made me see the beauty in the details that I usually overlook. I guess I never realized how much there is to notice when you really pay attention.

Like yesterday, I was walking through campus, and I saw the way the sunlight filtered through the trees, casting these long, golden shadows on the ground. The leaves were swaying just enough to make the light dance. It reminded me of the sunny day you talked about in your first letter and then I thought, ‘Sunny would probably paint this,’ Or the way the raindrops gather on the window after a storm, reflecting the outside world in those tiny little beads of water. It’s like the whole world is contained in those drops, you know? I don’t think I’ve ever noticed those things before, not really. But now, it’s all I can see.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, your perspective has kind of... consumed my thoughts. I find myself thinking about what you’d make of the things I see every day—how you’d capture the way a moment feels, or how you’d turn something simple into something profound. It’s like you’ve given me a new lens to look through, and I’m really grateful for that.

Honestly, I’m finding it hard not to think about you every day now. It’s strange, isn’t it? We’ve never even met, but I feel like you’re everywhere. Like, every time I notice something beautiful, you’re the first person I want to tell about it. I’m not sure what that means, but I thought you should know.

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well. I’d love to hear more about what you’ve been painting lately—if you’re comfortable sharing, that is. And if there’s anything else on your mind, I’m all ears.

Talk to you later—Snow

— — —

Over the past few weeks, Sunghoon had found himself thinking about Ren more and more. It wasn’t just the time they spent together in the library that lingered in his mind, but the little details of her that had started to etch themselves into his memory. The way her eyes would light up when she talked about something she was passionate about, or how her lips would curl into a soft, almost shy smile whenever he complimented her. He had memorized the way she absentmindedly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear while she studied, or how her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she worked on her assignments. And then there was her laugh—so genuine and infectious that it never failed to make him smile, even on his worst days.

Sunghoon didn’t know when it happened, but Ren had become someone he looked forward to seeing, someone who made him feel understood in a way that was rare for him. There was an ease to their connection that he hadn’t experienced before, a natural rhythm that made their time together feel effortless and comforting. She was someone who could bring out a side of him that he usually kept hidden, and he found himself wanting to share more and more of himself with her.

But then there was Sunny.

Sunny, the anonymous pen pal who had captured his thoughts and inspired his imagination in ways he hadn’t anticipated. Their letters had started off as just another assignment, something he hadn’t expected to matter. But now, every letter from Sunny was something he eagerly awaited. Her words painted vivid pictures in his mind, and he found himself longing to know more about the person behind them. What did she look like when she painted? What emotions played across her face as she captured the world on her canvas? What other poetic visions would she impart next?

The more he read her letters, the more he felt like he was getting a glimpse into her soul, and it was intoxicating. He wanted to know everything about her—her thoughts, her dreams, the way she saw the world. He had even begun to wonder if she might be someone he already knew, someone who had been right in front of him all along. But then, there was Ren, and that complicated things. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being unfair to both of them—this girl he was growing closer to in person, and this mystery pen pal who occupied his thoughts.

Sunghoon found himself caught between two worlds: the real, tangible connection he had with Ren, and the deep, almost ethereal bond he felt with Sunny. And with each passing day, the desire to bridge that gap, to know who Sunny really was, grew stronger. He wanted to understand the person behind the letters, to see if the connection he felt with her words could translate into something real. But as much as he longed to uncover Sunny’s identity, he also feared what that might mean—for him, for Ren, and for whatever delicate balance he had somehow found between the two.

— — —

Snow,

Your last letter made me smile. It’s funny how we’ve never met, yet I feel like you somehow understand how I see the world. When you described the sunlight filtering through the trees and the raindrops on the window, it was like you were speaking my language. It’s incredible how something so simple can become so beautiful when you take the time to notice it, don’t you think?

I’ve been painting a lot lately. After reading your letter about the snowy night, I couldn’t get the image out of my head. There was something so vivid in the way you described it—the quiet, the stillness, the way the world seemed to pause under that blanket of snow. It was like I could feel the cold air on my skin and hear the crunch of the snow beneath my feet, even though I wasn’t there. So, I decided to paint it. I wanted to capture that moment, the way you saw it, and try to put that feeling on canvas.

It wasn’t easy. I think I’ve repainted the sky about a dozen times, trying to get the right shade of twilight, that moment just before the night fully takes over. I wanted the snow to look soft, almost like a memory, with just enough light to see your breath in the air. And the trees... I think they were the hardest part. I wanted them to look both strong and delicate, like they were standing guard over this perfect, fleeting moment in time. I don’t know if I got it exactly right, but I hope it comes close to what you saw that night.

It’s strange, but painting your snow night made me feel closer to you, like I was sharing in that moment with you even though we’re miles apart. It made me realize how much I look forward to your letters, how much they make me think and feel. I’ve found myself wondering what you’re doing at random times during the day, or how you’d describe the things I see. It’s like your words have found a way into my thoughts, and I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s kind of wonderful.

I’m curious, though—do you ever feel that way about my letters? I mean, do you find yourself thinking about what I’ve written or imagining what I might say next? I guess I’m just wondering if this connection is as real for you as it feels for me.

I’d love to hear more about what you’ve been seeing lately, what moments have caught your eye. Maybe they’ll inspire my next painting. And if there’s anything you’re curious about, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m more than happy to share my world with you, piece by piece.

Talk to you later—Sunny.

— — —

You and Sunghoon are sprawled out on the floor of his apartment, the room echoing with your laughter and playful banter. You’re in the middle of a mock wrestling match, both of you grinning like fools as you try to outmaneuver each other. Sunghoon manages to pin you down for a moment, and you let out a loud, exaggerated laugh of defeat.

As the laughter dies down, you both lie there catching your breath, the playful energy giving way to a more relaxed atmosphere. You looked up at him as he held your arms down, his roommate Jake giving the dramatic announcement of Sunghoon’s pin as if it was WWE. Your chest rose and fell with a stagnant smile on your faces, Sunghoon still chuckling softly as he looked down at you. For a brief moment, the world seems to slow down, and you find yourself watching him with a sense of wonder.

His dark hair is a bit tousled from all the antics, and there’s a light sheen of sweat on his forehead that makes him look somehow more... real. The way the light from the lamp casts a soft glow on his face, and the way his lips curve into a relaxed smile—it’s all strikingly attractive. You hadn’t really noticed before, but now, it’s as if you’re seeing him for the first time, in a way that makes your heart skip a beat.

You shift your gaze slightly, trying to process what you’re feeling. This isn’t just about appreciating his looks; it’s something deeper, a fluttering sensation in your chest that you can’t quite ignore. You think about the way he listens to you, the way he makes you laugh, and how easy it feels to be around him. There’s a warmth and familiarity that you didn’t expect, but that you’ve come to cherish.

And then, like an unwelcome intrusion, your thoughts drift to Snow. The mysterious pen pal who had captured your imagination with his poetic letters. You remember his descriptions of snowy nights and the way he made you see the world through his eyes. It’s been a constant presence in your mind, a subtle, persistent reminder of another connection that feels just as intense, albeit in a different way.

The contrast between the two is jarring. Sunghoon’s presence is immediate and real, filled with tangible moments and shared laughter. Snow’s presence is ethereal and distant, yet equally compelling, with each letter adding another layer to the intrigue. The two are starting to feel like they’re vying for space in your thoughts and emotions.

You find yourself torn, caught between the easy, tangible connection you’re building with Sunghoon and the poetic, almost dreamlike allure of Snow. It’s confusing, trying to reconcile these two parts of your life and figure out what you truly want. As you look back at Sunghoon, you realize how much you enjoy his company, how much you’re drawn to him, yet Snow’s influence remains a significant part of your emotional landscape.

You let out a soft sigh, trying to clear the fog of conflicting feelings from your mind. Sunghoon lifts a brow and catches your gaze, giving you a curious look.

“You alright, Ren?” he asks, his voice warm and genuine.

You offer him a small, distracted smile, trying to hide the whirlwind of emotions inside. “Yeah, yeah. Just thinking.”

Sunghoon nods, giving you a reassuring smile. “Well, if you need to talk, I’m here.”

You nod, appreciating the offer. “Thanks, Hoon… I appreciate it.”

As the evening continues, you try to focus on the present, enjoying the time with Sunghoon while grappling with the complexities of your feelings for both him and Snow. It’s a balancing act you’re not entirely sure how to manage, but for now, you’re determined to savor the moments you have with Sunghoon and let the rest sort itself out in time.

— — — 

Sunny,

Your letter brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. I was genuinely touched to hear that my description of the snowy night inspired your painting. It’s incredible to think that my words could be transformed into something so beautiful and tangible. I can almost see the scene through your eyes, and it makes me feel as though I’ve been there with you, experiencing it all over again. I hope to see it one day.

I’ve found myself constantly thinking about you and your letters. It’s a strange but wonderful feeling, knowing that someone out there is visualizing the world through such a creative and thoughtful lens. It’s like your perspective has woven itself into my daily thoughts, and I can’t help but wonder about the details of your life, the moments that inspire you to create. Your words have become a significant part of my routine, and I often catch myself daydreaming about what you might describe next.

There’s a warmth in knowing that our correspondence has become such a meaningful part of our lives. I’m always eager to read what you’ve written, to find out what new insights or observations you’ll share. It’s almost as if your letters have a way of drawing me in, making me feel connected to you in a way that’s both surprising and comforting.

I have to admit, there’s something more profound than just admiration growing within me. I’ve started to realize how deeply I’m falling for your words, for the way you express yourself so beautifully and thoughtfully. It’s as though each letter reveals another layer of who you are, and I’m captivated by the depth and sincerity of your reflections.

I’m curious to know more about you—your inspirations, your dreams, and the things that move you. If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear about what drives you to paint, or about the moments that make you pause and reflect. Your letters have become a source of light in my life, and I fall harder with every word you share.

Talk to you later—Snow

— — — 

You’re pacing back and forth in the living room, your mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. You’ve been wrestling with your feelings for both Sunghoon and Snow, and it’s starting to drive you a bit mad. You finally collapse onto the couch next to Callie, who is lounging with a stack of notes from Snow spread out in front of her.

"Callie, I need help," you say, your voice tinged with frustration. You’re sprawled out on the couch in your apartment, the remnants of Snow’s letters scattered around you like a chaotic love confetti. Callie is sitting next to you, munching on a snack bowl of pretzels and clearly enjoying the show as you have a mini-meltdown over your feelings for both Snow and Sunghoon.

“Snow’s words are like this beautiful, poetic storm that’s taking over my mind, and then there’s Sunghoon, who’s right here, making me feel seen and loved in a completely different way. How am I supposed to choose between these two worlds?” You bury your face in you’re hands and groan.

Callie raises an eyebrow and picks up one of Snow’s letters, glancing at it with a smirk. “Okay, let’s break this down. So, Snow is basically a walking, talking poem who understands your soul from a distance, and Sunghoon is a real-life guy who makes you laugh and look at you like you’re the only person in the room. Got it.”

“Exactly!” you say, waving your hands around dramatically. “Snow’s letters are this perfect mix of art and mystery. I mean, he’s on campus somewhere, and I don’t even know what he looks like! And then Sunghoon... he’s here, being all cute and attentive, and it’s like I’m falling for him just as much. It’s a mess!”

Callie chuckles and picks up another letter, reading it with exaggerated enthusiasm. “‘Your letters have become a source of light in my life, and I fall harder with every word you share.’ Ugh, Snow, you charmer. And here’s Sunghoon, who knows the way you take your coffee and gives you his coat when you’re cold like a rom-com.”

You groan and flop back against the couch cushions. “I know, right? It’s just that Snow’s letters make me feel like I’m part of this beautiful, poetic world, while Sunghoon’s presence makes everything feel so real and tangible. How do I even begin to balance that?”

Callie puts down the letter and gives you a sympathetic look. “Listen, you don’t have to choose right this second. Snow’s words are wonderful, but they’re just a glimpse into a world that’s still shrouded in mystery. Sunghoon is right here, making you laugh and enjoy life. Maybe the real answer is that you need both worlds for now.”

You sit up, considering her words. “That’s... not the worst idea. But it feels so complicated.”

Callie leans back with a grin. “Complicated is just a fancy word for ‘interesting.’ If you’re enjoying both, then why stress? Snow’s poetry isn’t going anywhere, and Sunghoon’s not going to vanish. Take your time to figure it out.”

— — — 

Dear Snow,

I was so touched by your last letter, and I felt compelled to write back and share something with you. I’ve been thinking a lot about how you expressed your feelings, and I realized something incredibly beautiful. Even though you’ve never seen any of my paintings, you seem to understand them so well, as if you’ve seen them in your own way. It’s like you’ve been looking at the same world through my eyes.

Your words have a way of making me feel like you truly see me, and it’s more than just knowing my thoughts or my feelings—it’s as if you’ve grasped the essence of what I try to capture on canvas. When I painted my vision of your snowy night, it wasn’t just about recreating the scene you described. It was about expressing how your words made me feel, how they painted a picture in my mind that felt so vivid and real.

Falling for you, Snow, has been like discovering a new color in my palette—one that resonates deeply with my own heart. The way you describe things, the way you make me think about the world in new ways, it’s all become a part of me. You’ve made me realize that sometimes the connection we build through words can be even more profound than anything we could see or touch.

I can’t wait to continue exploring this journey with you, sharing more of our worlds through our letters, and discovering where this connection takes us. You’ve made me feel seen and understood in a way I didn’t think was possible. Thank you for being such an important part of my life, even from afar.

Talk to you later— Love, Sunny

— — —

Sunghoon burst through the door of his apartment, his face flushed with excitement. He had just received Sunny’s latest letter, and the warmth of her words had him practically skipping with joy. His thoughts were a whirlwind of how perfectly their feelings seemed to align, and he was eager to share his enthusiasm with Jake.

As he walked into his room, he noticed something lying on his bed. It was the jacket Ren had borrowed from him. Sunghoon’s heart skipped a beat. He remembered that Ren had returned it today and briefly wondered if there was anything inside the pockets.

He reached into one of the coat pockets and felt a small, folded piece of paper. Curiosity piqued, he pulled it out and unfolded it, revealing a neatly written note in neat… purple… ink.

— — —

Thank you for the jacket.

—Ren

— — —

ending note —

hehehe!! promised part three!! I’m really enjoying this prompt so I’m literally pumping these out as fast as I can bc even I’m excited for what happens next.

I love you and thank you for reading my little corner of tumblr<3

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Ive made through chapters 4-7 today and good god, I feel like i had basically nothing to say about acotar as I was reading it but with this book theres so much to talk about for some reason, its wild. Truly, I did not realize how much I liked Feyre in the first book until I was under threat of losing her

Now, I will say that Feyre seems in-character so far, shes still the same woman but traumatized, but I am worried for her. Tamlin is a whole different story though, SJM might as well shoot him dead right in front of me for how thoroughly hes being character assassinated. Like, if Tamlin actually cares about Feyre as a person and not just in a douchy, possessive alphahole way, which he should because Tamlin was not that kind of guy previously, then he would force Feyre to train so she can defend herself if necessary, not forbid her from it. Even if he didnt want her to use her magical powers, surely he would make her practice with her knife or with a sword or even with her bow just to be safe, because hes not always gonna be there

I think his actions do continue to make sense if you look at them from his perspective, but I also maintain that he's doing a really bad job at responding to Feyre. But also, its so laughably obvious what sjm is doing by having Tamlin say shit like "you were stolen from me", shes trying to paint him as some objectifying asshole. Even Lucien calling her "Tamlin's bride" feels like its part of all this, and I know Ianthe is gonna turn out to be a traitor and a rapist at some point, so it really comes across as an attempt to villify the entire spring court for its association with Tamlin

Speaking of Lucien, I genuinely think part of the reason Feylin is doing so badly in this book is that his dynamic with Tamlin is completely different now. For some reason hes all like "oh, my High Lord" instead of "my good friend Tamlin", he suddenly cant say a word against him when he was talking to shit to him just a few months ago in-uinverse. Like, if their dynamic was the same as it was in acotar, Lucien wouldve probably been like "hey man, I know youre stressed and I get it, I know what its like to watch the love of my life get brutally murdered I dont know what its like to have her magically ressurected again but thats neither here nor there, but Feyre is clearly not happy being inside all day and you need a break, go take her out on a date in the woods, I'll stay here and take care of everything, dont even worry about it" or gotten him to comprise with Feyre or chill tf out or SOMETHING but because theres suddenly this rigid hierarchy in the spring court in order to make the night court look better

Speaking of the night court, Ive heard some stuff about it feeling very orientalist but it still managed to completely blindsight me with its badness. Feyre got fucking harem pants to wear, really? And a short-sleeved croptop, and no fucking shoes, probably because Rhys didnt want Feyre throwing shoes at him again. That was the one moment in this book that brought me genuine joy btw, I would read a thousand fanfics about her just throwing shit at him

Anyway, speaking of my guy (derogatory) Rhysand Nolastname, hes so incredibly annoying I dont even have any coherent thoughts about him right now, like, if I were to write down what I think of him I would just write "he fuckinh pisses me off" over and over again. Im actually a really big fan of edgy shadow bois, but only if theyre like, sad and angry and closed off, if theyre like Rhysand and theyre all flirty and teasing and cocky and shit, theyre just annoying and nothing else. And the romance has barely even started yet, I cant imagine how much worse the flirting is gonna get later. Not to mention all these desperate and obvious attempts by sjm to make him sympathetic and morally good now, its honestly pretty pathetic

Now Im gonna be real with you, I didnt get a lot of sleep yesterday and I can feel myself and the things Im writing getting less and less coherent, so Im just gonna hit you with the very last of my thoughts bullet point style

The fact that Amarantha apparently didnt actually go rogue and it was all part of Hybern's plan feels misogynistic ngl

Ianthe's entire character already feels so misogynistic and slutshame-y and she hasnt even assaulted anyone yet

Something about Mor bothers me, I cant quite put my finger on it but its there. I think I do like her for annoying Rhys though

God, Im gonna have so much to say about the Illyrians but for now, its awfully bold of Rhysand to be like "they wasted no time throwing themselves before her feet" when THATS WHAT HE DID

Thats it for now

[aztarion]

3, 14 & 16 for deva and mason plzzzzz 💜

*twirls hair* omg hi rowen.. thank u for enabling me <3

3. Do they wear each other’s clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

honestly not really… i could see dev stealing a shirt and maybe his jacket sometimes but thats obligatory.. however she is a big believer in eyeliner and black nail polish herself so when he’s feeling it you know she’ll be peddling it off to him

14. How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash?

oooh they are both super contrary but in a similar way which most of the time has them sharing views & opinions or rather lack of views & opinions on things until it’s something to do with tackling baggage and confronting feelings...

dev is blunt & does not beat around the bush when it comes to flirting or her job (when it suits her), which is def something he relates to and appreciates in the beginning. she’s also pretty irreverent and sarcastic (thanks rook) and especially in book 1 & 2 is quite volatile temper-wise, and so on occasion will not gaf and just say whatever, which amuses him (and greatly distresses Nate). she’s got that F Hauville no filter blabbermouth but without ANY of the charm 😭

once the initial hostilities between them settle over book 1 and mutual attraction is the more precedent elephant in the room, they have a pretty good dynamic in that they just GET and respect each other and don’t push — unless it’s pushing buttons (each others — he likes that she dishes it back as much as he does — and poor Nate’s rip).

they absolutely share a prickly independence and preference for solitude, and value their autonomy. ironically they are both pretty perceptive and emotionally intelligent — just EXTREMELY bad at processing that and later putting it into words — definitely where the clashing eventually comes in. loyalty and trust are huge for them and unfortunately the two biggest problems — where Mason is slow to gain in those (but it’s happening and he’s not fighting it, just confused), Deva is dragging her heels kicking and screaming (mostly figuratively). She refuses to get emotionally attached — even to the rest of UB, and would never consider reconnecting w Rebecca either. the gradually more playful/teasing tilt to whatever dev and mason have going on is definitely a testament to how comfortable she is becoming w him but she has big abandonment and commitment issues, and his ignorance to his own feelings kinda amps up her denial, so she’s stuck in this grudge-y cycle of avoidance of any sort of open communication throughout book 3 while he’s kind of just ���🗿🗿 wtf-ing his way through whatever’s going on.

(Ok tangent but she is actually the result of me being bored and wanting to do a literal chaos run of twc ages ago 😭 refusing the tests, stirring shit up, bad relationship w mom and the agency, insulting them being vampires, lots of terrible decisions and worst scenarios 😭😭 and it was so fun lmao i just kinda started building around it)

i think ive rambled too much I literally start giving a press conference in my room when I think about them. Sad!

16. Can they stay up all night just talking?

you know what, dev probably could but i dont think mason has that many words in him and i think she would drive him to decking her with pheromones again just for peace. but would they? earlier on, definitely not. they like their space and are usually respectful of each others. later though, maybe, but it would be extremely rare and likely due to something emotionally charged happening, and dev would still be doing most of the talking. oh they can absolutely stay up all night doing other stuff though

[sibylsleaves]

God this episode is so good. Stuck supremacy. Some little things jumping out to be on my nth rewatch:

- Buck is paying SO much attention to this girl hitting on Eddie even though he literally just told a different girl he “needs to concentrate.” Eddie very quietly turns her down with a “I have a son” and Buck is like 👀👀👀 babygirl why are you watching his every move and listening to every word that comes out of his mouth. why are you so obsessed with him its been like 2 weeks!!!!!!

- Chim and Buck are so clearly Bickering Siblings. When Buck honks the fire engine horn to cut Chimney off after roasting Buck.....that is the most younger brother shit he has ever done in the show

- on that same note, it’s also just interesting to see that dynamic against the Buck/Eddie dynamic as it starts to take shape. Eddie also roasts Buck in this episode (”you live in your invisible girlfriend’s house”) but Buck doesn’t retaliate in any way. In fact he drives (??? still not clear on WHY he’s there) Eddie to the hospital and then goes home to gush to Maddie about how great Eddie is

- the Chim and Chris stuff at the firehouse is so cute!!! more Chim and Chris hanging out!!!

- the scene where they’re cutting the guy out of the ATM and Buck is complaining to Bobby about Maddie while Chim complains to Hen about Tatiana is so interesting because you know who is notably NOT complaining about his (very actually big) problems???? Eddie. Even this early on they’re showing us how he keeps things close to the chest and doesn’t EVER complain or ask for help

- “i get to hold a grudge until i die” i dont have anything insightful to say here, I just love Hen and I love this line

- “you think it’s weird I still live in Abby’s place?” Buck’s still stewing about Eddie’s comment about “living in his invisible girlfriend’s house” DAYS later. reminds me of when chris makes a comment about his couch and buck brings it up to bobby days later

- “how long do I have to wait before I get to be happy, too?” 😬😬 could be a while longer bud

- i want to count the number of times they use the word stuck in this episode. tell me someone has done this

[rainswept]

why do you like chuuya /gen, like I dont mean to sound rude in anyway but why😭🙏

this is going under a read more because i started yapping and couldn’t stop. i’m sorry

his personality. hes so funny and hes such a bitch i love him. but also he’s an incredibly dynamic character. he’s well written and tbh that’s enough for me to like him already. he’s had so much shit thrown at him and very well could have become a horrible person but he’s not. others care about him and he cares about others. he hasn’t let himself become as bitter as he could have been. he is still so full of humanity despite it despite everything SEE NEXT PARAGRAPH

i’m a sucker for characters that are entirely completely human and yet don’t think they are, or struggle with whether they are or not (especially thinking so because of all the reasons that they are— but i suppose chuuya doesn’t really fit that part so i won’t get into that now.) like yes chuuya has (or had, i guess) a reason to believe he isn’t, but does that really matter when faced with the fact that you have emotions and blood just like everyone else? does your make matter when you’re not so different after all? it’s existential. it makes u think. 

his crime list is about as short as he is and i find that wonderful

his lore/past/backstory whatever you want to call it. not even, he’s still going through it. man 😭. he’s had so much loss but not a single goodbye and i think that’s a really fucking good (and depressing) concept. he has never had the chance to mourn properly. he acts like he did.

hes cunty

his dynamic w dazai i find very compelling too. like yes they bicker and yes they fight and yes they “hate” each other (they don’t) but they also trust each other with their lives and have left them in each other’s hands too many times to count. it shows u the depth of both their bond but also the characters individually. they’re not entirely self sufficient.. they can obviously take care of themselves but they’re at their best when working togegher. i thinkt hats cool. FREINDSHIP IS MAGIC!!1! no but it shows u that even the strongest people arent at their best until theyre able to connect. not that dazai and chuuya have a model relationship at all… but there’s trust there. and that’s enough

hes hot

he makes me so viscerally and upsettingly sad

dog motifs. ok hear me OUT i’m SORRY but tbh the title was what got me interested in bsd in the first place. everyone is a stray in this show and i like that very much. i love characters that are LOYAL to a FAULT. i love characters with gnashing teeth and wagging tails. i love characters that hold so tight onto things their hands hurt and they end up causing them to flee. that “everything i’ve ever loved has claw marks on it”??? yeah give me that shit i will eat it up EVERY TIME. i love characters that are blinded by their senses of duty, not in the way that they’d do anything whoever they’re loyal to asks of them (though that is a nice dynamic too, i don’t think that’s as Chuuya ™️ as the other i’m talking about), but in the way that they’d lay down their life without a second thought (or caring about how those people see them). a dog that is beat may bite but but but it will still have its duty. even if it hates it. (<- see also AKUTAGAWA akutagawa is the reigning champion of dog motifery that is probably why i love him so much. but that is akutagawa. and i’m talkign about chuuya so im gonna dhut up now) ) i like characters with Three Betrayals COUGH COUGH COU💥💥💥💥ogh mymgod scafamocuhe 3 betrayals chuuya flags sheep dazai Im HOWLIFJG someone KILL ME NEOW ok thay doesnt make aense i just thought it was funny. anywa

fanbs fanbs* FANGS idc if they’re fake

thanks for comign ti my ted talk 🙏 i may add more later. but i didn’t want to. talk. too much. um. i think that’s out the window though

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Hi! Your pizzeria au is so cool! (I actually can relate to the whole Jakob and Primo yelling at each other and Jakob being the terror grandparent thing *side-eyes grandma* and I dont know why but i really like that i absolutely get it)

I wanted to ask, does Primo still have his seeking validation but not getting it thing (aka oldest child syndrome)? I feel like that's a big part of the show's character (even though it's not talked about you can tell he just wants someone to love him), so does your pizzeria au Primo also have that? Or is he in a perfectly loving healthy family dynamic

WAHHH THANK YOU!! ;_; sobs ive been wanting to answer this for weeks ive just been turbo-busy and Primo's family life in this AU is, a real Kettle of Fish hhfdhgf..... i Love thinkin and talking about him, he's so so dear to me and this is a great question!!

the short answer is: you bet your ass he still does <3

the long answer is: well,

allow me to bring up THE MANCINI FAMILY DISASTER HURRICANE OF A RELATIONSHIP WEB

"perfectly loving healthy family dynamic" lol. lmao. roflcopter. not in the Mancini house!!!!!!!!!! This is three generations of autistic Hispanic Italians who do NOT know how to talk to each other or work through their own feelings and emotions in any sort of healthy way, and it SHOWS. :,)

(and honestly it's Jakob's fault for a lot of it--he's a heavy-handed crusty abusive old son of a bitch with enough untreated war veteran PTSD to black out the sun, and he managed to critically fuck up not just his son's emotional development but his grandsons' too in the process!!!! GREAT JOB YOU OLD BASTARD.)

Like. Aporia loves his kids. He does, he really really does. Primo almost died in a motorcycle crash when he was 17 and the thought of losing him scares Aporia so fucking much. He's just.. chronically so fucking bad at verbally expressing "i love you," and in general is a, often very emotionally distant person. He's not the World's Worst Dad, he just fumbled the bag on being there much for Primo and Lester until *checks* Extremely Recently, instead caught up with his demanding work of running a steel distribution component, and then later the death of his wife (which left him shaken and numb for YEARS,) and on top of all of that the lingering inescapable drive to Make Jakob Proud of Him (a trait Primo has too <3) (insert meta commentary on how these are all Versions of The Same Guy in 5Ds Canon <333)

So anyway, all that said, you can imagine that Primo seeks validation like a starving hyena seeking out a wildebeest carcass--desperately, relentlessly, and like his very life depends on it. He's hero worshiped Jakob for being a """"Cool War Hero"""" since he was a kid, and he kind of hero worships his boss Zone now for his intense demeanor and storied history, despite the fact neither of these men seem to like him much (because they dont.) Between that and his aforementioned dad being awkwardly distant for much of his childhood and teen years, his ratio if "wanting validation vs. actually getting it" is, uh, NOT VERY GREAT :( He STILL yearns so SO much for his abuelo's approval especially, and the fact Primo feels his missed his one opportunity to get it (enlist in the army and die bravely and brilliantly on the battlefield) (dude you were never gonna be let into the army you have one eye first of all) keeps him up at night, like, a Lot. (sorry world but I KNOW Primo would be a bit of a cringefail military bootlicker. but the details on that is its own side tangent ghghdgdg)

it's just a mess, this whole family is a mess. at least on the bright side Primo's starting to make friends who Do care so much about him, and Aporia IS actively trying to make strides in connecting with his kids and making it clear to Primo how much he loves him, AND Primo is getting mature enough now to reflect on his upbringing and realize how fucked things have been. He isnt QUITE self aware enough yet to realize that chasing Jakob's approval is a fool's errand he'll never achieve, but he IS steadily starting to fully recognize that the way Jakob treats his dad and Lester makes him feel, um, Sick to His Stomach. (but the way Jakob treats him? no, no. thats. thats fine. thats what he (Primo) deserves.his brother and father dont deserve to be yelled at and demeaned and hit. but he does. failures do.)

(if i get into this AU Primo's complex about his self-worth that's absolutely spurred on by his struggle to obtain what he deems the most important forms of validation i will be here another nine hours and another 20 paragraphs. but i think about it VERY much. post for another time methinks.)

but yeah his eldest child syndrome is off the absolute charts. he might stomp around and loudly proclaim Lester is ruining his life but he loves that kid so much. He would put himself between Lester and their furious grandfather to take the brunt of the blast every time. He is not doing well but he will spend two hours putting ice on a bruise Jakob gave his little brother with as must care as someone as big and gnarly as he can muster. i love them so much.

[bbboar]

wanted to expand from this post since i gave the most direct answer in the tags

When Seafoam first let Astarion drink their blood it was partly out of wanting him to be healthy and in fighting shape (theyre all fighting for their lives out here) but also bcs they felt bad for him.

Seafoam always roots for the underdog, being a tiefling, a charlatan and a sometimes criminal themself, they've seen how people who you would think are "bad" or the dregs of society, actually may be rly nice. Or at the very least,shitty due to shitty circumstances. So theyre sympathetic with Astarion despite thinking him a schmoozer.

So theyre like "Damn this bloke's out here drinking from animals and lying about it bcs hes so ashamed RIP i gotta give him a little sip"

Then later on they start sleeping together and it sort of shifts the dynamic. Its all fun and flirty at first but then it starts feeling very transactional. So Seafoam approaches him like "Yeah were having fun here but this is starting to feel a little like the pauper fucking the baker for bread." So they give him an ultimatum. Either the feeding continues or the sex, not both.

And Astarion has to weigh his options. What does he want more? An easy meal or the opportunity to better manipulate the de facto leader of the group? So, even though he doent want to, he tells them he prefers they continue their little extracurricular and now that he doesnt have to hide, he can snatch a meal on his own.

Seafoam is legit surprised by this answer but goes with it.

I dont think they introduce blood into the dynamic again until way later when they've become partners for real and can be more honest and intimate in a more meaningful way bcs then they can openly negotiate it

[tsurugis]

been thinking about that thing i reblogged thats like (by the way im buzzed off my ass on whiskey so excuse extra nonsensicalness) "i dont know how to tell you all adults were children once" thing cause i have been on and off Stressing about my ocs that im writing a book of

because they started off as dnd characters i was playing where my husband and i play by ourselves with 3 characters each (lol) and fenriel is a 30 something year old dragonborn and atreyu is a 200 year old half drow and for the longest time i was like. i want them to be good friends, nothing more. i want them to highkey bond and help each other with their traumas.

but after like a year of this i had the moment where i realized they are fucking in Love with each other bitch. like gay it up bros. theyre so gay alright??? and ozadius this lowkey old man wizard tiefling is like the fucking gay uncle who pretty much raised fenriel after he found him half dead from his abusive mother that he finally just kills in self defense but ozadius grew up in the city where atreyu lived so atreyu watched ozadius grow up and now they are bros. but atreyu is baby because 200 is still young for an elf. its a weird dynamic alright

BUT. when i decided i love these characters enough to write a whole ass multi book length shit of them, im writing fenriels childhood with his mother and when ozadius finds him and shit and fenriel will meet atreyu as a child because ozadius is gonna go to atreyu for help with some specific crap. they, and atreyu's twin sister are all the main characters so i cant just leave anyone out to avoid the awkward shit

SO. i have to navigate the idea that on and off atreyu at like 180 years old will get to know fenriel as a child, but later as adults they are in love okay. but atreyu will absolutely not have a single thought or feeling in his brain about fenriel that way (who as he gets older will crush on atreyu, sure) NOT A THOUGHT. it will have to be knocked into his head only when fenriel is past 30 years old and shit goes down. he'll still be oblivious when fenriel is 30, and not realize shit until some things happen. totally oblivious for fucking ever.

i stress out people would think this is gross. they wont see each other often while fenriel is growing up even though they will meet on and off and have some plot stuff happen when fenriel is still a kid and teen i guess. and atreyu is gonna be dealing with some heavy other shit and like i said will be completely oblivious until fenriel is over 30 years old when they will be around each other longer term for plot shit.

i dont see the problem but people are so sensitive about this shit. and like i dont care but also ???????

shits weird when you are dealing with characters that are extremely long lived. especially when there is the idea that a 200 year old elf is equivalent to a very young adult

i would have to completely ditch so much shit like either have them never meet when fenriel is a child which would force me to rewrite an insane amount of the entire backstory for everyone, or not have them ever be a romantic thing which screw that, they are important to me that way

so damn. im frustrated lol