#they dont like being without it theyve had it as is their entire life and it is Long and Safe;

[dreamcast-official]

hm.

[fictionfixations]

playful land (part 2)

contains spoiler for the movie pinocchio so and like book 7 spoilers (its literally just 2 words relating to lilia and its a card that exists)

😭 as a glasses wearer i can relate. when i didnt have my glasses id squint a lot but the people around me just thought i had my eyes closed so they thought i wasnt paying attention D:

its even crazier to think that lilia, a war veteran and everything was legitimately stressed over this 💀 but to be fair if grim was in danger of getting out of like the seats that lilia had to hold him back id be panicking too cause who knows what could happen

heres your reminder that vil was kinda baby (well child but thats still baby to me) when being in the industry and considered good at playing the villain even though children (and teenagers) are literally known for changing, are in the prime time of their life to change and experiment and try different things theyve never done before and so typecast him is literally to stunt his growth and potential !!! and remember there were those kids who thought vil was an actual villain and like tried to attack him or some shit so he did play villains when he was younger. and it probably really hit him hard because kids dont (and shouldnt) be hit with the reality that not everyone is nice and that people can be out to get you for no reason other than 'you exist' and will run with any reason they can to hate on you even if its entirely fake and they dont even know you but they just think youre a bad person despite the truth and theres nothing you can do to change that because they dont want to be wrong. if you cant tell i have a lot of things against it. like. like child prodigies n celebrities are great good for you for being good at something and being recognized for it, but ohh my god its like suddenly they're an adult and cant make mistakes without people condemning them even though literally everyone has made mistakes before and children dont know any better until they do it and mess up and thats okay and i just. i just want vil to be ok cause hes still really young.

the text being like pLAcehOldeR TExT PLaCeHoLDer TeXt is so fucking creepy for the puppets 😭 why cant it just be normal like when like AIs or like the systems of shit talk (like like the navi system that was normal?? and i thought the voices for the rollercoaster was normal too but i mightve just not noticed considering im playing it right as the update came out and i havent slept yet so yippee)

JIMINY CRICKET IS THAT YOU 💀

the way i missed all these references the first time but now im actually getting them cause i saw the movie

heres where i say i already forgot like a part of the middle of the movie and what happened and why. i was watching it with friends so i got distracted trying to talk to them and im really bad at multitasking when trying to watch something (like reallly pay attention) and talk to someone at the same time so i forget one or the other and i forgot the movie so i dont remember what the apple core was about but i doubt it was good intentioned

i know that leona's older than them but i still like that he calls them kids like d'aww

flashbacks to kalim mentioning he didnt know how to pay for things or how cash registers worked and stuff like that cause usually merchants came to him also him mentioning he got like lint rollers for the carpet but he just kept buying new ones when he ran out instead of buying a new roll, and when being informed that he could buy a new roll instead of an entirely new roller he just called whoever thought of that a genius 😭 his obliviousness is genuinely harmful to him no matter how good intentioned someone may be to try to spoil him and make him live the most comfortable life ever because theres so much life experiences hes lacking. and theres so much i could say about this but ive yapped enough about this in other posts and ive also already yapped about vil so um

HES LICKING THEM BECAUSE OF THE OVERBLOT STONES ISNT HE? ???? ????? GRim PLEASE

…hes got a tail because he went to pleasure island and was slowly turning into a donkey like i mean i guess i can understand because in twst the stories were twisted so both the hero and the villain got a happy ending technically? like remember i think jasmine married like 'a street rat' or something (I cant remember exactly? maybe he was like a thief but changed his ways?), while jafar caught someone who was pretending to be a prince to marry her (described as two different people btw)

THIS. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. he is so unaware that hes going to make dumb and insensitive comments that could definitely offend someone but he doesnt understand what the problem with it is this boy is like the heir right?? someone please teach him politics and like diplomacy shit ???? like ok you want him to have the best life. his best life is not making mistakes in front of important people that can fuck things up without him realizing and ruining relationships because HE DOESNT KNOW BETTER. like theres only so long you can baby someone and i know hes baby and still young but stop coddling him. like i mean i want to coddle him i want to wrap him in bubble wrap but like come on. and i know hes smart, he knows people arent the best because people have tried to poison him and tried to kill him (even some of his family have tried) but come on. like what if he comes off as insincere? as a person who couldnt possibly understand? HE ALREADY DOES COME OFF AS THAT HAVE YOU SEEN JAMIL?? and you know what thats gonna breed? RESENTMENT. aAAAAAAa AND PEOPLE ARE GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYONE EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO DO BAD SHIT TO HIM AND ITS JUST. i dont want him to be hurt and hes gonna get hurt and he already has been hurt and hes still managing and i feel so bad for him and i just. ..you can tell i have a lot of feelings over thsi fhaidwsuiahfd

d'aww hes hugging him 🥺

yknow kalim probably has the funds to get like a water breathing potion and explore underwater like i mean tbh it kinda scares me. wasnt there that story during like one of the halloween events one of the leech twins mentioning how they saw like one of them?? except it wasnt them. and that like people went missing or some shit??? the coral sea (..that might not be the name i forgor) has its own dangers i hope he stays safe during so

wouldnt it be the coolest for a hometown event with the leech twins and azul and kalim is there actually i wonder what kinda outfits they'd wear. also in caters birthday bloom vignette floyd mentioned that he could take cater to the coral sea and show him places land people dont really get to see (then warns him to watch out for shark attacks) to which cater replies that he'll pass. …still i think itd be really cool for him to go too. maybe we could make it a pop music club trip! has lilia been to the coral sea? i cant remember 🤔 i dont think caters phone is waterproof though (hes also mentioned it in that vignette) and hes mentioned it in this event where he was scared his phone would get waterlogged during the whale rollercoaster cause they were getting drenched in water and he didnt get time to prepare

leona. you get me.

kalim just automatically being worried about poison makes me feel really bad for him cause he always has to be cautious like i know he doesnt say it but its implied and it makes me sad

FIGARO MY BELOVED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU PRECIOUS BABY AHFDASUDIHAIUDHW i love cats so much the moment he showed up on screen i just couldnt pay attention to anything that was happening in the movie and i just love the way he was animated he looked so fluffy and cute and i just wanted to pet him so fucking much aGHHHH

leona: I REFUSE to ride the carousel no matter what right after leona: on the carousel

so confirmed kalim does have a magicam acc huh

[spaceyfeline]

Looking at you with big old sopping wet eyes hey can u talk about diti

(SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING TO THIS FOR LIKE A WEEK OR SOMETHING I WAS GOING TO AND THEN I FORGOT.)

DEETI. deeti. Deeti my beloved deeti. narrative God. they're my bestest friend @cryptidlatias's oc and i am so unbelievably normal about them.

part of this is going to be me pulling from an infodump doc i have on the displaced bc that has Some deeti information. but. deeti is something called a Heart. (thank you to the funky fresh group for coining these bitches theyve made my life so much more fun.) they (hearts) are gods who reside Above the narrative of all worlds. like they are the final step between the Fictional Universes and us the Real People Authors. (they're obviously fictional and still have their own stories but that's semantics). (think of them like author self inserts)

here's where i begin to pull from the document because that's probably the best summary of Deeti's Entire Deal. And also this is where im going to put a readmore bc i dont want to flood my mutuals' dashboards with my insane rambling. Ok? ok <3

im just going to be copy-pasting stuff i wrote on the document here to make it easier on everyone. this will include Some glitter information but hopefully its nothing that would be like Really confusing without glitter context. (funnily enough this entire infodump was originally done in discord before being moved to google docs so it's come nearly full circle)

lati also left some notes on the doc itself! i'll add those notes in red. it's a good doc if you want the rest of it i can dm it to you

deeti, to put it simply, is A Fucking Freak (Its existence revolves around control and obsession.) theres a lot to deeti but a quick rundown of it was it began as an ai programmed to quote "learn everything there is to learn" and it did! it learned everything there was to learn abt its universe. including how to rewrite the strings of reality itself. so it did. and it ascended! and then it assimilated Every Other Version Of Its Universe. Ever and after that just kept absorbing other universes into its mass deeti's "true body" is a literally spiral-galaxy sized bundle of its wires, its known as a god of a thousand faces bc it can put on any face it wants at any point (thru . what can kind of be described as puppets?), as well as appearing in multiple places. i believe lati explained it as being similar to a fungus of sorts (Like the fruiting bodies (mushrooms) you see on the surface, with the true mycelial network underneath.) the form it assumes most often is one that me and lati joked glitter complimented at one point and deeti went Ah! Friend likes this face I will wear it forever but it is not in anyyyyyy way reduced to just Looking Like That i dont actually think we have any proper Coloured Refs of deeti but tldr white (like ffffff mannequin) or light gray "skin", red hair, i believe the order of colour on its eyes is red/blue/purple but they change based on deeti's mood (i had some outdated information on the original doc, so here's how it works: its eyes start at blue, and add more red (so purple, then red) as its emotions get more intense. Both good and bad emotions have the same effect.) deeti and glitter are besties. absolute dears to each other. very close. which is fun bc deeti originally freed glitter bc it was like huh i wonder what would happen if i did this (it still has its main prerogative of "learn everything there is to learn) but then they became friends :) deeti actually mentored glitter in a lot of things like how strings work and uh how they are above the "stories" and the "characters" within, how said characters are alive (because of course they are) but they're not real like deeti and glitter (and their friends theres other guys not just these two) are. and since theyre not real. well. consequences don't really apply (Glitter was Deeti's first friend! The other Hearts came later.) if its not clear. that's a. really bad mindset for two people who can literally disassemble and reassemble entire universes to have deeti is capable of storing so much data because like. robot-kind-of it has so much capacity for storage bc it just Has so much. so its also capable of bringing that storage up and making simulations or straight up building replicas of universes (including people! including people.) so with its little. well it calls them dolls or puppets or the like but the little guys it puts through the torment nexus. it will do the same things over again with slight tweaks until it learns Everything about how the "character" reacts to a situation (or until it gets bored) deeti prefers psychological torment but it is not afraid (or even unwilling) to inflict physical torture for the sake of Learning i think thats all thats needed to understand deeti? its a "machine" sure but it has learned how to feel emotions like any sapient being, they're extremely fond of their friends (especially glitter), and at This point in time (this being pre-Day, ie before the event that got the displaced their "freedom") believe they are Above Everything and such cannot be wrong. ever it's very controlling to the point where it is referred to as a God of Control . which is . Fun (towards its blorbos. not friends. big difference.) (It gave this title to itself, but… it's not like anyone can prove it wrong.)

deeti doesn't forget. Ever. and it holds grudges for a long, long time. a lot of how it treats dis both pre and post Day is because of dis fighting back in ways that hurt deeti (verbally, at least), so even if dis doesn't remember it, deeti does. and it doesn't forgive easily.

luckily, by the "modern" day deeti and dis have both changed quite a lot! they've both admitted their wrongdoings towards each other and apologized! and they've actually grown to be very close and care about each other a lot. however. Modern day is an extremely long time post-Day, and pre-Day lasted... many, many millenia at the least. deeti had existed long before that, too. the displaced isn't the only one deeti hurt, but at least they managed to get through to them.

theres probably a lot im missing in this infodump . but it's everything i can think of currently! so!

(also i know lati will be looking at this so. hi lati. fix any information i missed. <3)

[walnutcookie]

can i ask what cheddar's curse is :333333333 3 33333 :333 :#3333333333333333333333333333 :3:#3333

HI I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKEDDD. :33 THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK /GEN. you have unleashed hell i am about to write so many paragraphs /silly /pos

ok to rb!

I need to draw a picture of them without the shadow sometime but. basically that glint in the shadow over cheddars face?

thats not their eye. they dont have an eye there anymore. instead it is a jewel :]c a cheddarstone to be exact. And it is very cursed!

still need to figure out exactly how it goes but when the blue cheese manor burned down they reached for the cursed jewel that their family had and They survived! They technically cannot die! but living isnt exactly easy

inside of them is a ton of Dark almost ink-like goop,, its like. Anti-life force. It seeps through their skin slowly and if it seeps out too much cheddar has to fight for control. if it gets really bad they lose control entirely. the only way to keep it from seeping out is by absorbing pure life force. they can obtain it through being around someone as they die, but more effectively they can kill people themself. Which is pretty easy since!! touching anti-life force kills a person IMMEDIATELY literally all cheddar needs to do is touch someone and theyre dead.

of course, if people knew that she was doing this, theyd be arrested immediately so theyve found ways to be sneaky about it :]c

for one, they cover themself up as best as possible. Literally from the head down its completely covered - giant coat, gloves, boots, etc. plus the hat covers not only the jewel in their eye but the anti-life force goop growing on his face!!! They avoid being in crowds or tightly packed spaces and theyre careful not to ever touch someone - while the clothing helps, it doesnt completely negate the curse, so while a brush of the shoulder may not kill the person itll at least drain them which will look suspicious.

obviously this quote wasnt related but shh its about Universe A. to me

cheddar has basically made themself untouchable (both metaphorically and literally).

say, theoretically, they need to take another victim. theyre travelling with macaroni on oh, say, a train, and they find a random cookie isolated in a train car with nobody around to witness anything. they peel off their glove and put their hand on the victims mouth, muffling their scream and killing the person instantly, and then they gently lower the body down so it doesnt make a noise as it hits the floor. next they use a knife to stab the person a few times - theyre already dead, but since touching them wouldnt give any indicators toward the cause of death, they have the perfect opportunity to create a false story behind the murder of this cookie and frame someone else for it. all they need to do after that is call macaroni to come see and he'll practically do the work for them!!!

ive mentioned this on one of my posts before but i headcanon that macaroni. cannot. stand. mysteries. he has to have them solved ASAP otherwise he CANNOT rest easy. he wont be able to eat or sleep very well at all. it makes him so anxious as much as he loves mysteries

Cheddar uses this to their advantage! theyve created a person in macaroni's head - someone whos lazy, who doesnt put much effort into their work, someone who doesnt rely on real evidence very much. How would someone like cheddar manage to frame someone else for a murder theyve committed and get away with it? especially since cheddar is around macaroni 24/7 and hed never expect them to do something in like the five minutes that they sneak away. not to mention cheddar has been working for the cbi even longer than mac and why on earth would a cbi agent kill someone for (seemingly) no reason??? In reality cheddar is actually much smarter and observant than they make themself seem but mac is in HEAVY denial about it because he doesnt want to have to think about his work partner being a murderer. Better to come up with other solutions (which cheddar so generously offers to him by framing people) than to point the finger at cheddar and raise dozens more questions that may be left unanswered. Plus the thought that all of the deaths cheddar caused would technically partially be macs fault. And as much as cheddar annoys him, mac has grown pretty attached to them.

someone could literally yell at mac and say LOOK!!! CHEDDAR HAS BLOOD STAINS ON THEIR COAT OH MY GOD!!!!!!! and mac will just laugh and say Haha that must be from lunch yesterday :) LIKE. cheddar has just made the perfect alibi for themself. they can never be accused of any crime because mac will defend them no matter what just to keep his own sanity

all of the killing and murder and crime aside cheddar is. Fucking miserable. shes so insanely touch starved bro they havent had a hug since like 1806 (except for like one person CCOUXGGHT COUCGHE GOUCGH ROUCYEO CAPPUCCINO COUGH COUCGH SPUTTER COUGH thats another post entirely though if anyone sends an ask abt it ill talk about it) and they try to make themself seem unlikable towards macaroni and try to distance themself from people and avoid relationships because even just a high five or a brush of the shoulder could be fatal. its too much of a risk, and its not one theyre willing to take.

he is fucking Smitten for macaroni theyre so head over heels for that girl but they just! CANT!!!! they cant get close to him because then he might DIE and not only would they lose the person they love but that would mean that their precious alibi is gone and theyd have to be extra extra sneaky about things to make sure that nobody catches them committing crimes. not to mention because of the way they act macaroni fucking HATES HIM. one sided yuri my beloved

anyways yaay ill stop there before this post gets too long X] theres more stuff about these two (including actual yuriful fluff NO WAAY) if youre curuois or have any other questions just shoot me an ask id love to answer!!!!

as always i dont think this is canon by any means it is all just my silly headcanon au because i think cheddar should be fucked up As a treat👍have a nice day If you read all of this i loveyiu so much /p

[mithliya]

How do you feel about white Europeans telling people who aren’t European they can’t speak on things like racism across Europe? There’s a white European radfem from Germany on here who is constantly getting so weirdly pissed and defensive when Americans on here discuss racism that’s prevalent throughout Europe. And as a dark skinned Indian-American woman I experienced a fuck ton of racism when I studied abroad in many European countries. My study abroad program was set in Spain back in 2018, but when I visited France one weekend I had off my classes, I overheard a French couple comment about how dark my skin was saying something like “dark skinned people always look so dirty and they must never be clean.” I have never once forgotten the deflated and exhausted feeling that remark made me feel. I remember being excited on that day because as someone studying linguistics I was there to broaden my horizons about their culture and language and yet I had such a bad experience there. But anyway, after having that experience (and others) I’m just confused as to why as an “American” we wouldn’t be allowed to comment on the horrific racism seen in European countries. She has a recent post about this too and I feel like this is such a weird time to post something like that knowing how many white Europeans have just been exposed for being racist. I know you’re middle eastern living in Germany so I wondered your opinion on this.

i always hate when ppl pretend that theres noooooooo way to have any awareness of the state of a country unless u actively are living in it. first of all as u mentioned, plenty of people living in europe are not european and its weird telling us that we cant speak on what we have experienced in europe bc we arent from there. ive also experienced several instances of racism in the european countries ive lived in and if someone told me "ur not european dont talk about it" i would just think thats a weird way of silencing the group of ppl often facing racism in europe. secondly, some aspects of racism in other nations can easily be confirmed and are things ppl can learn about without having actively lived in that country. i didnt need to visit ukraine or poland to know theyve got a racism problem for example bc the news i was reading on how poc were treated in life-threatening situations (when students of colour were trying to leave ukraine whn the war started, for example) is enough to give me that impression. comparatively, i dont need to live in the southern US to know that the southern US has a racism problem....several news on that part of the world, information from poc in the south, and the history of southern US is enough to clue me in on that.

that said, i can get being frustrated if people are speaking on something and act like theyre quite informed but actually are not. sometimes people rely entirely on stereotypes and speak on experiences in certain parts of the world without having actual understanding of it. i have seen that too and it does annoy me at times when ppl discuss things in my region as if theyre quite informed on it when theyre actually not accurately reflecting our realities. so i can understand such a comment in certain contexts but also, people are far better informed about europe than they are informed about idk south africa. so sometimes that statement can just be a way of dismissing opinions u dont like, but in some cases it at least is a reaction to real ignorance. so my feelings on it depend on the context

[demadogs]

heyy what are your thoughts on Mike's monologue? Do you think he was being honest or it was a half truth or something? I'm really curious abt what you think bc honestly I'm not sure myself

this might be long i havent dove into this scene in a while.

the short answer is i think it was a mix of some sad truths disguised as romance, things he believes she wants to hear (but is completely wrong), and just straight up lies. but the biggest thing is that what he thought she wanted to hear was what will told him in the van, unaware that those were wills feelings not els.

but before i even talk about it lets just LOOK at the scene. this is what every other romantic scene in the show has looked like:

and this was allegedly mike and el’s “most romantic scene”.

they are not happy here. this was right before mike said he loves her and right after. one of the biggest differences in this scene compared to the other ships is the fact that both of them we’re forced into this conversation. mike was NOT going to say any of this. will had to push him to continue. meanwhile el is physically restrained from responding to him. she was forced to listen to him and mike felt like he was forced to say it.

anyways now im gonna analyze the actual content of the monologue:

sad truths disguised as romance:

“i dont know how to live without you”

i think this is true and it could be a romantic line but it could also be really sad. it reminds me of when finn (or millie i dont remember) said that they were like a married couple with no option of divorce. i think what mike really meant by this is that hes scared to confront who he really is without el. he actually already did confront this version of himself after she and will moved. i think when he was without either of them he realized his true feelings and hated it and he just wants to go back to who he was before he figured it out.

“i feel like my life started that day i found you in the woods”

im not as confident in this one but it could honestly be extremely sad when looked at from a different lens. it was the first night after will went missing. it was the first time things in his life got weird and unexplainable. losing will and finding el is what led to all the supernatural trauma theyve been through. i dont think mike associates el with trauma but that night in the woods did change all of their lives forever and nothing has been normal since that night. when mike told will asking him to be his friend was the best thing hes ever done, thats said in a way that could not be interpreted any other way, especially not in any negative way. this can. (that being said im not negating how much mike genuinely does care about her and im not saying he wishes he never found her or anything like that).

then it gets so complicated because the only way mike knew how to reach her was through everything will said to him in the van, not knowing that everything will said was referring to HIS feelings, not els.

what mike thinks she wants to hear (based on what will said):

mike tells el “im afraid that one day you wont need me anymore” directly referring to when will told him that she (he) will always need him and then we see this shot.

a lot of people interpret this clip as will just being sad that mike loves her but i think here he might actually be realizing that mikes using his own feelings unknowingly to reach her and he feels guilty about it.

will also told mike that “you make her feel like shes not a mistake at all, like shes better for being different and that gives her the courage to fight on” which actually is not the case for el AT ALL. that was the entire reason for their fight in volume one. el told him “i am different i do not belong” and that he thinks shes a monster and thats why she doesnt love him. she doesnt wanna be loved for being different. but will made mike think she does. these are els reactions to when he brings up her powers:

“youre my superhero”

“you can move mountains, you can fly”

during the whole monologue shes crying but both times he brings up her powers she stops and just looks mad. she looks like she just realized something and shes not happy about it.

i think will completely unintentionally made mlvn so much worse with his veiled confession in the van.

just straight up lies:

“and i knew right then and there that i loved you” (referring to the very first moment he saw her in the woods.)

this is the biggest lie of the whole monologue and i dont always like to bring in social media and marketing to my analyses but when i watched this for the first time, the SECOND he said this i immediately thought of this tweet:

we also have proof in the show itself that he didnt feel this way. he brings her home because he just found a lost girl in the woods in the pouring rain. and then he and lucas and dustin immediately come up with a plan on how to get her back to wherever she came from so that the next day they can go back outside and find will.

“i love you on your bad days”

immediately debunked. mikes a fucking BITCH on her bad days. even will thinks so.

“i love you for exactly who you are”

he doesnt even talk about who she is??? at the beginning of the season we had that whole scene of nancy and jonathan talking about all the reasons they love each other and what does mike love about el? that shes a superhero?

and THEN after the monologue is over its not even mike who gives her the courage to fight on! ITS MAX!!! el doesnt have the power to move the vines until she sees max in trouble. and then later when shes reviving her and theres flashbacks of their moments together, specifically when she says “theres more to life than stupid boys” and “not hopper, not mike, you.” thats huge.

continuing with post-monologue volume 2, its so beyond weird that we dont see el speak a WORD to him after this enter speech. not even just after that speech, after she almost died.

if mlvn was meant to be why didnt they have a moment like this after she woke up? we dont even see her wake up. we dont even see them for two days!!!!

anyways that was a lot. i hope it all made sense. i think the purpose of the whole monologue was to show that even after mike says what she wanted to hear, shes still not happy with him. shes realized that that she is her own person and her own superhero. the duffers just made it excruciatingly complicated and i hope they do a good job explaining this scene in s5.

[smileinyourface73]

The idea of dopamine antagonistic medications being used for treatment of schizophrenia is scary and crazy to me. All it does is help lessen positive symptoms. You know what else it does? Makes the negative symptoms worse.

Below for informative rant i suppose ^_^

To be diagnosed specifically with schizophrenia you need to have at least some positive and negative symptoms. (Ik the dsmV is shit suck hole... but this part still stands because medications FOLLOW diagnoses from the dsmV) If you have/had only positive, you just have a psychotic disorder. If you only have/had negative you probably have something else.

You cannot have one without the other at least in a period at the same instances. You can definately have residual schizophrenia, which i think is what "stage" i am going through, but there needs to be a presence of both in your life.

And what i dont understand is this blatant ignorance of the negative symptoms when it comes to treatment. Oooh ooga booga schizos are soooo scary.. if someone sees or hears something you dont they might kill you or do an evil laugh!!!! We better sedate them with drugs before this situation gets out of hand. <- this is how i feel like theyve been treating this entire situation. Most of this shit isnt even true, and i know you know that. You have dehumanized us so much that our own struggling with the illness doesnt even matter, its just about making you feel safer and about us being able to contibute to society. You KNOW schizophrenics experience negative symptoms, and yet you make drugs specifically to block chemical activity that can worsen negative symptoms. And thats because it doesnt affect you, as long as they arent struggling with hallucinations or delusions i think they will be okay :*)

Idiots. Every time i complain about how antipsychotics/ssris/dopamine antogonists make me feel like some husk of a person i used to be and struggle with having to keep on living this way they just tell me they cant really do anything about it. I ask them to take me off of it, they say that it would be unsafe for me AND FOR OTHERS if they allowed me to do so. And these people known me forever, at least my therapist. He fearmongers me to stay on it and openly had told me he favors my longevity over my happiness.

I have been off of antipsychotics for 9 months now. i have been doing so much better than i had been, but that doesnt take away that i still experience negative symptoms. It is draining for me, i dont want be like this, there needs to be serious change within psychology and fhen in turn with the psychochemists or whatever their title is. This is so unbelieveably sfupid how they got this far and thought that this was the best treatment since it was officially dubbed it's own name.

[yuukei-yikes]

takane and shintaros post str codependency is making me insane because theyre both way too emotionally attached to each other and want to beat each other up so bad at the same time. they were all the other had for the longest time and have such a raw unspoken understanding of each other and literally goes insane they remove my brain function and the way you characterize them is so real

NO LITERALLY THEYVE BEEN IN MY FUCKING BRAIN FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS . their feelings for each other are the same and also completely different bc shintaro was takane's entire life and purpose while shintaro didnt KNOW it was even takane so he has to reconcile with that fact and OUGH the i can fix him/i guess i can let her fix me dynamic. they cannot live without each other and its so so so unhealthy and messed up .

ok but relationship therapy for shintaro and takane. and also ayano and haruka are here (haruka organized it) the therapists like i seriously dont fucking understand whos dating who and haruka's like THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM sry im so insane abt shintaro bringing insanity to harutaka and takane bringing (even more than they already have) insanity to shinaya.

haruka's literally the ONLy one on the fucking loop of whats happening bc ayanos like. she's got so many issues of her own and her relationship with shintaros a mess as well so its not like shes got the emotional tools to do something other than be sad abt it. i think if ayanos the one to say anything she still shields behind haruka like HARUKA ALSO THINKS ITS MESSED UP RIGHT HARUKA? RIGHT RIGHT? PLEAAASE HELP MY CASE and harukas like COME ON. but yeah haruka calling takane out but hes so soft abt it it takes takane like a fucking minute to realise wait are we having a....fight and harukas like i GUESS and takanes like ooooh. ohhhhhhhh thats not good.

haruka tries to be understanding bc IT IS understandable that theyre like this but hes like is it too much to fucking ask that takane stops canceling on me all the damn time. and shintaro is so comfortable with just trusting on takane for everything bc hes like she's so pathetic abt wanting to know whats going on with me and she is THE ONE who saw me at my worst so who else would i turn to lol like takanes more comfortable for him. otherwise whats he supposed to do. open up to a whole new person. hes terrified of the outcome of having someone else(ayano) know him that way.

anyways haruka works on it with takane bc he's like drilling into its head the whole thing and takanes more and more aware of it as it goes on and then sort of has to make the choice to have this sort of messed up break up without dating with shintaro. also maybe around the same time shintaro breaks up with ayano for reals in case uve read my shinaya post. shintaro just got dumped x2 and turns to haruka in his emotional breakdown and since haruka responds not mean spirited or angry at him at all, but kinda tells him u brought it upon yourself like ive been telling u abt this for months so shintaro gets angry at him bc he resorts to being irrational BC HE JUST GOT DUMPEDX2 COME ON so to harukas hes like OHHH SO ITS UR FAULT UVE ALWAYS BEEN JEALOUS OF ME AND TAKANE LIKE EVEN IN HS and harukas like wow. im gonna walk away now. but shintaro to takane is like but ayano just left me?? and this is an issue for haruka too??? maybe we should just be together???RIGHT??? and takanes like WOOOOOOOOOOOW HARUKA WAS RIGHT THIS IS RLY FUCKING WEIRD so now things are weird between haruka and shintaro x2 because he just essentially asked takane to breakup with him. shintaro sort of tries blaming his breakup with ayano solely on what happened with takane when in reality theres just so many other things and its so messy

its a yuukei quartet messy fallout baby. it is so fucking funny.

for ayanos part i think she sorta shuts down for a bit while she seeks help in therapy and stuff and shintaros like spiraling so hes more difficult and for takane its SUPER SUPER hard to not run to shintaro seeing him like That so haruka has to keep her grounded but its not like things are super great between them either bc takanes like shaking with anxiety and haruka feels so guilty and has no one to ask advice to so hes not sure if he did the right thing or not. basically ayanos in therapy keeping distance shintaros sort of having a tough falling back to old habits (goes neet for like a month) and harutaka are trying to work on their relationship lol. thru it all the dans also around so theyre especially of help with ayano and shintaro's episodes.

sorry like this is funny to me ofc they all make up like they come around. shintaro and ayano get back together. shintaro and takane talk to each other like normal people and maybe hug and cry a little bit. haruka wants to sleep for like 2 days.

they make up so its FINE thats why to me this is comedy central like is it not super funny come on. but a little post str misery arc for shintaro there

[captain-noir]

Your tags re: Louis and those three words is why whenever anyone tries to be smug about him not having said them to Lestat, I'm like genuinely it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many times Louis is gonna pull "love of my life" out of his ass about Armand when he's still talking about his ex from some 80 years ago whom he at one point plotted to kill. I can't even put emphasis on how Lestat may feel about the words because I'll have to endure Louis being embarrassingly gone for this man for the entire show. Those three words not being said aren't gonna help when this man is beyond help as it is

agree but also whats there to be smug about?! louis' dead eyed white knuckle grip as he gives the most 'im off the deep end' smile like poor armand is the rebound boyfriend of the century he's there listening to louis describe sex with lestat being the best he ever had knowing armand would die for a taste and will never get it. black tar heroin multipled by miles to the rings of saturn and back is an insane thing to say i dont care how much of a cuck armand is. its been 70 plus years and louis still cant talk about lestat without crying and running out the room like they had to rehearse this version of the story and still his love and affection for that blonde demon broke through the levees theyve erected. but also i dont want louis to say those words any time soon thats his leverage in his failmarriage and he shouldnt say it if he wants to win at their mindgames like sorry maybe im too deranged but i want lestat to never ever feel secure in louis' love for him where's the fun in that like maybe once every century louis can throw him a bone and the rest of the time he has to like infer from louis emotinally witholding ass self!

[magnoliamyrrh]

i find the whole conversation around self-dxing to be interesting too because while self-dxing can indeed be dangerous and bad, on the other hand i am also quite anti-psychiatry, if youve got something youve obviously got it without a diagnosis, and getting a diagnosis can be hard af

like idk i think way too many ppl push this "go get therapy go get professional help and evaluation!!!" thing all the time. as if many therapists and psychs arent stupid af, as if they cant be wrong, as if they cant further traumatize someone, as if they can't be smart and kind ppl but Still get things wrong. and as if the entire psych system for the most part isnt fucked in manyyy ways...... like... yea, if you can and find a good one go i guess depending on circumstance... but you better take everything they say with a grain of salt too, wtf

.... yes teenagers and in general young ppl self diagnoing themselves with 2000 things is harmful. they may be doing it either for attention, because its cool and trendy, bc theyve actually got histrionic or mauchausens, bc theyre pathologizing normal human reactions, or bc theyve not done enough actual research and went off of articles which explain things in such a way that frankly most humans would relate. or they may confuse disorders among each other, or they may not be pragmatic enough abt it. yes this is a huge issue. weve got 20000 teenagers and young adults and even some adults running around saying theyve got turrets or did or autism or bpd or ocd or whatever the hell is trendy. psych wards for symptoms and conditions (which are themselves often imperfect) have been watered down to an extreme and are thrown around. therapy talk is being used to make excuses for behavior which should not be excused

...... at the same time. yea self diagnosis isnt inherently harmful all the time. the ppl who say otherwise and are 2000% certain only docs can tell u shit arent skeptical enough of docs. with some things its obvious. i didnt need any doctor to tell me i had anorexia nervosa or bulimia lmaoooo that shit was obvious and clear as day. i didnt need to be told i had bpd, i caught on at a young age i had it, and bc i neither could go to therapy nor wanted to, i spend years understanding that disorder on every which side and way and recovering from it myself. it saved my life. i dont even wanna know how bad things would have been if i didnt accept i had that and understood it - and yea, i didnt need no doctor to tell me to know. and low and behold, docs agree i used to have bpd, still hsve some symptoms, but have mostly recovered from it. funnily enough i caught onto having some sort of osdd/did years ago, than denied it completely to myself for years, than i couldnt ignore it and deny it anymore. ended up getting a diagnosis for that too. :/ i figured i had adhd for years on end but docs either thought it was something else or i wouldn't bring it up much. low and behold i have a diagnosis and the high doses of adhd meds i can handle without feeling st all "drugged out" are proof that i do actually have adhd

if anything lmaoo i have personal experience with having a crazy psych. a woman who mistook cptsd&osdd/did for bipolar disorder, gave me drugs literally illegally which ate at my body and told me not to tell anyone, and also yelled at me that i was crazy. had a therapist who thinks being molested makes ppl homosexual and that step-parent sexual attraction is normal on some level.....;;;; like;;;;;;..... yea. the psychs and therapists arent some sort of final say people. they can be crazy and they can be wrong

and the idea that Inherently someone with bpd, or did/osdd or whatever else Cant Know of their disorder before being told (tho the latter was actually suggested to me many yrs ago by someone) is just. wrong and harmful frankly. yea in some cases pls dont know, or theyre in extreme denial (like with anorexia). but not with all. not with all. 👀 my psychs found it surprising how self aware i was, impressive, but they did not think this was some sort of disqualification

idk. yea. like. theres definetely issues around self-dex especially in the hell were living today but acting like its Always Inherently Bad and Will Never Help and docs are some sort of authority who are the only ones with some say... ,,,, yeaaaa. no. that's also dangerous

[himbos-hotline]

What do you think needs improvement in wwe and aew

OKAY so prefancing this by the fact I have not watch WWE in over a year and the only things I know about WWE now is what im getting from tumblr

both companies need to stop relying on the old stars/ old wrestlers needing either a money hit or a cash hit or like another grasp at talent. as much as I LOVE daddy ass and re-living my childhood in wrestling but like I get sooo tired of seeing people relive the glory days when they shouldnt *cough* ric flair *cough*. like theres sooo many talented younger wrestlers that arent getting shown on TV/ in the companies because older wrestlers get quick pops because of the nostalgia run. I see goldberg one more time I will actually explode.

Aew needs to book more womens matches and treat them at the same like bundle and preface as men! Like give us a womans blood and guts!! and more womens matches in genearal where its more of a rough and tumble vibe with blood. My favourite womens match is the thunder rosa brit baker cage match!! Also give me more nyla like I love nyla rose sooo much and shes so talented and cool and I wanna see her wrestle more

also things that feel like "small" tag teams, like the best friends, arent being like shown how talent they are. I know that sentence doesnt make sense. But re-watching aew during the pandemic era- where you had the trent vs kenny match it was so good and it really showwed just how cool and talented trent is in the ring and I think both him and chuck should be allowed to wrestle more and actually wrestle like do moves and win matches, theyre not just to push other talent or let newer tag teams win, its kinda depressing when taented wrestlers arent used in the way they deserve too

another thing and this is just for me, maybe this is just for me. Like long term storytelling suddenly either being shifted/stopped. Like do you remember when mox was facing [I think its either max or jericho] and someone like attacked him backstage and we NEVER EVER got told/figured out who attacked him and its kinda just been forgotten? ALSO as much as I love the elite and the hangkenny storyline and hangman rejoining the elite. He caused so much issues and trouble with everything and he hurt them, like matt said that bte episode "it hurt my heart" and theyve all like, just kinda accpeted him back. No like deep apology or "you have to prove yourself" or whatever. Its like they forgot the entire three year story they told. Also kenny finding out about the fucking nod- it could have been done so much deeper and sadder and emotional, the bucks have been there with kenny since his breakdown/breakup with kota and theyve always had his back until the one moment he needed them and they sided with hangman. But instead of all of that we got "k its cool" and I dont know if its gonna like come back up after all the kenny dealing with callis emotions is gone. Cuz thats gotta like fuck someone up mentally, suddenly loosing that abusive manipultive hold on you suddenly disappearing.

and FANS!! like, I love wrestling fans but also god I hate them so much. Guys, Guys I am begging y'all to stop showing wrestlers fanfics/ship-fanart and everything else. its not like made FOR them its made FOR other fans. I wouldnt want to be exposed to being shipped with my friends by people online. Like....ugh. ALSO like a small thing that pisses me off is fans thinking we can like, touch them in sexual ways. this is mostly cis-het men touching cis women wrestlers on their asses and tits. Like you wouldnt like if someone fondled your dick without asking. Concent is important and its not just for ike, fucking. its for every single thing in life. Yall can cuddle the wrestlers if they say you can but god if youre making people uncomfortable and gross its fucking bullshit and youre a sucky human being.

[okthatsgreat]

HELLO I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT UR DR OCS (NOT JUST FROM 50TH but from other games too...). Do you have any AUs or fun alternative ideas!!! Like roleswaps, personalities, etc, things like that! I love hearing about them !!! :0

HBGDFHSGB OMG ........ UR SO AWESOME

ok so the thing about my ocs is that i just drop them in any scenario ever so i truly am unable to verbalise any of these aus in detail lmfaoooooooooo. however i DO keep going back to a lgowab au with the 50th season ocs just bc keep thinking about how they would react. bc let me tell you they would fucking REACT. they only JUST left the simulator and now they gotta do this shit FOR REAL? literally half of their class would be dead within days mostly out of dumb luck but also theyre easy enough targets without being considered "kids" (considering 53 is the newest season, theyve been given a few years outside of the simulator already). and with all of the guns flying around wooowwwww ryobe and naomi would actually go crazy

there are LOTS of "what if" aus i have in mind for erin/billie just because those two are the characters i played in rps lmfao!!!! erin managed to survive and billie was the first death, so theres lots to be done regarding scenarios where that Doesn't Happen. ESPECIALLY erin, who basically got saved last minute from being the blackened despite her making literally the biggest mistake of her entire life and killing a man lol. and billie surviving .......... a lot of her character was just the tragedy of her not getting to grow up so giving her the ability to Grow Up is very sweet. honestly there are so many what if scenarios for all of these characters just because theyre danganronpa ocs hfdjgsfsjgk like the what if scenario of naomi getting caught in that final chapter. like that would have changed the public's perceptive of season 50 entirely. soooo many postgame relationships would be different and significantly less strained. and with the public not being super enthused by the ending of the 50th season the participants might have had time to actually chill out a bit lmfaoo.

swap aus are so so much fun but i dont have many in mind!!!! BUT I LOVE THEM! i think it's really fun when you keep their personalities but give them other talents teehee. i think legit the only talent swap that i have ever thought of before was one my friend roman briefly did with the characters in the rp we were in, and erin got swapped with the ultimate palaeontologist lol. she'd be SO into giving tours to elementary classes in museums. not a second would pass without her dropping a dinosaur fact on you. the fantastic thing about erin is that being a children's entertainer practically defines her at first (because her entire life and persona is dedicated to being pippy) so removing that aspect of her and giving her another ultimate talent is soooo funny because its like. The Whimsy. It's Gone and she's Normal

a season 50 swap would be so funny as well mostly because i can not imagine naomis scared ass being anything but a runner however i think it would be kinda fucked up if she was the ultimate lucky student considering what she got away with 🤔 rie is similar to erin in the way her entire life is dedicated to her talent and the pursuit of perfection and being this beautiful pageant queen so she would need a talent that allows her that level of dedication i reckon. maybe shes the ultimate content creator and becomes this beauty vlogger who does millions and millions of brand deals!!!! idk LOTS TO THINK ABOUT!!!!

[possibly-eli]

ok chat? chat. i am going to ramble. putting this shit under a readmore because i want to

i do not know what to make of my parents like i love my family, yk? of course i do, most people do love their family and i love my parents because. yk. theyre my parents. theyre good to me but it would be aggressively false to say they havent had a tremendously negative effect on me

my family does not talk about issues. in fact, it is impossible to talk about issues. i cannot bring up certain topics, no matter how important, with my mother without my therapist doing it for me, on my behalf. whenever there'd be a huge argument (usually involving me, because of course), we'd scream at each other about it and then never ever mention it again, unless i was told to apologise. most of the time, the argument wouldnt really be My fault, but whatever

adding on to that, i have never actually received an apology from my mother (or really, either of my parents, but the mommy issues are strong with this one or something) for anything theyve said to me. like at all. because we never talk about things

i was never taught how to have difficult conversations, which has caused/is continuing to cause some pretty major problems for me. i was never really taught how to go about apologising; i was just told to apologise and if it was to my parents, it was a toss-up on whether theyd accept the apology at all. i dont know how to tell someone "im sorry" in a way that actually makes sense. and to compensate for that, i used to make a bunch of really basic apologies all the time because yk. constantly having things framed as your fault by your parents, regardless on whether or not it was, tends to make you more inclined to apologise to yk. diffuse things or something. ive moved to comedy and self-deprecation to diffuse things now. an improvement /lh

see and none of this is helped by my mother's vague ableism, continued lack of regard for how i might feel, constant need to be the most knowledgeable in the room about my health, and never really listening to me regarding my own health overall

for e.g.: ive realised lately that my ribs may or may not slip pretty frequently (being out of nowhere id have some pretty sharp pain surrounding my ribs that would make it too painful to breathe in enough, so id have to just wait it out until it went away on its own). and her immediate response was "erm no thats normal actually its just your stomach muscles <3" like. god, can you please just not fucking do that. this is why i dont tell you when things are wrong she found out about that time my kneecap dislocated (and maybe caused some sort of fracture) while out on a walk and she asked "why didnt you tell me" and like. this is why. this is why i didnt tell you.

and even then: it is not normal for someone to be in random, intense pain out of nowhere, frequently. im not supposed to have four repetitive strain injuries in both of my arms. im not supposed to be tired all the time. im not lazy ive been unwell my entire life and every time ive tried to tell you, you told me it was normal

she's also a big "erm you're not on active suicide watch so you're fine stop being lazy" and "you're not autistic, really, you just have AsPeRgErS. you're just a little bit autistic" kind of person

and like i love her, of course i do. but like, when she's nice. when she's not nice, there is not a single person who i want to kill myself because of more

[vizybs]

//vent

Yknow i kinda think im a bad person whenever i look back on how i ended it with her, how i just like slowly distanced without telling her why but then I remember how she wrote on the public padlet on how we grew apart as friends (at this point i was still talking to her) and im just shocked a bit

Because like every year ive known her i put my everything into our friendship, im always making sure she isnt sad that shes having a good time that she isn’t lonely that she feels special that her feelings are heard that she isnt this this or that and it isnt my responsibility. She never asked me to do those things but you kinda know you have to, but she didnt do those things for me and its just

I dunno, im not mad anymore but im just in like, disbelief, because the moment i stopped putting my all into her suddenly we grew apart and its not like at the time i was suddenly no contact with her, hell i even sat next to her everyday. But the moment i let myself chill and stop giving her 100% suddenly its too much? We arent close?

I guess i just realized that maybe i was putting in so much work while she never really felt like she had to for me. I dunno. Still messed me up sitting down and reading that message right beside her on how we drifted like hello? Im right here you can talk to me?? I was waiting for maybe some kind of lets talk so we could get back on track and stop being so stilted around eachother this was so roundabout and so entirely like, avoidant to pointing at the matter at hand i was just angry and ignored it all.

Theres a thing i realized about how i used to accommodate my friends alot and how it kinda just messed me up? If i put a 100% into you and you dont give me some energy back it was like are we really friends? Its gave me a lot of anxiety issues about friends which is hilarious because now its like people ask me to do stuff w them like hang out and im just like woahhh what the fuuckk when its completely normal its actually driving me insane

Im glad im done playing that game of are we friends or not with her because it has done wonders for my self esteem and confidence.

I have a lot of friends now, i guess putting yourself out there instead of focusing people who seem to only care about you because theyve got no one else who talks to them is awesome and i will continue because i like friends who like me when i do what makes me happy and arent afraid of doing something embarrassing 24/7

i feel kinda guilty because its like ‘wow did i just abandon her for like other ppl’ then i think about how miserable i was trying to people please her all the time just to feel like we were sorta maybe friends and how she made me feel like she was embarrassed to be around me and that all goes away

Im not sure what to say, its wrong to abandon people close to you but it was draining the hell put of me trying to humble myself to fit into her kinda self deprecating choice of life

It’s unfortunate, she really is sweet but she makes me feel like im tired and all i want to do is shut up around her but i always had to keep talking because someone had to try right?

Shes not a bad person, i think that if we recently became friends i would love her. But theres so much history and it still felt like we walked around eachother, it always felt like i had to be careful around her it was uncomfortable. And shes different, very different, its something else.

People grow and change but shes so shy and cautious it makes me feel so wary, especially when she used to be so outgoing and confrontational. Its like shes a new person, i dont know how to feel.

Shes a good person, maybe not so much good for me but ill still wish her luck on future friendships. We arent friends anymore, we dont say hi in hallways or sit together in awkward forced silence and its just how it is.

I think im good now though, like the guilt isnt as bad.

[thesugarhole]

you know, ive read it twice now, but im still not sure where the leap in logic in "coffee drops, burns servers, annet freaks out and exterminates most of the human race... engie drops bombs finishing it off?"

it would have made heaps more sense to direct the bombs where the skeleton of the structure is to permanently wipe her and whoever survived her fear starts life over. but no he dropped them all over the city.

of course that, if you did so you wouldnt have a story. bombing one, maybe 2 buildings is not equivalent to bombing a city after all (that i think is also an entire planet im not sure whats going on in romac geography)

the paragraphs explaining how she turned to use people as servers and adapters and whatnot and she was technically everywhere to justify it... well, it doesn't really

just like in irl the actual internet is kept in place by the same 4 guys in Antarctica or whatever, and if they stop we all stop, there had to be a central nervous system to that beast (no matter how much the author/the story wants to deny it this is fundamentally how technology works). the gdir hqs if you will. bomb just that and be done with it. traces of her living on in the survivors collective memory would turn her into an old god or something but thats it. all wireless towers and microwaves would shut off without the main, sooner or later (could be 1 month could be 890 years as the surviving stupid object AIs have shown but it WOULD end, all things do.)

maybe he wanted her to stay alive bc he stil loved her or for the fuck around find out parable (wanted her to suffer) idk

also i was gonna be unnecessarily mean about something else here but then my critical reading comprehension skills kicked in so theres some resolution: ij the past i always read engie as a bit of an hipocrite and was going down that road again because of his self pitying "i doomed the world I'm gonna kill it off" and then not placing himself directly under one of those nukes to die along with it. with guilt that heavy i can imagine an "honorable" thought to have is "im gonna kill myself to make up for it", and was surprised not once it crossed his monologue

but the thing is, right. humans want to survive. even the most suicidal ones. disclaimer speaking from experience but something that actually kickstarted my recovery out of the suicide hell hole was reading something like "suicidal people dont hate being alive, they hate the situation theyve found themselves in and ending it all together looks like the only viable solution". no matter how horrid he feels i can see engie having just about enough ego to realize this and deciding quick suicide isnt an option, slow suicide by rotting inside a bunker all alone is. if any of this makes sense i guess

edit: "a city thats also an entire planet not sure whats going on in romac geography" watch my previous confusion being hand waved again as oh its not earth its a hollowed out earth like and her core is deep within and only the nuclear/electric bombs all over could eradicate most of the core and most of people-terminals

raaaaauuuugh i want to pull my fucking hair out

[sunshinestardrop]

Next part;

Player wakes up wakes up with a start. They sweating, scared and reaching out to a figure that is no longer there. As they calm down they notice theyre in a bed, its too dark to figure out what bed though.

So, now weary, they search. A quick pat at their pockets tell them theyre pokemon arent with them- which sets them on edge a litte- dumbly they call out for the first partner, pikachu.

and the door to their room opens- a women- and a quick expo she says shes their mother. Thats not possible tho, the women is not their OG mother nor Reds mother.

after a while of moping they figure out theyre still in the pokemon and that theyve taken over a.... different body? Some boy (Its Gold from the second game, but they dont know that) Player is confused, thinking that they would have been able to go home after finishing the game but they were wrong, now they have to do this all over again without the knowledge they had before.

Thankfully they have a stronger grasp of the world now, and it helps them a lot more.

giovonnie becomes a bigger threat as Player is determined to take him down for good now (team rocket is what seems like the only constant, so they think he might be the prob) Player is desperate to find a reason as to why this is happening to them-and its a big reach for such a thing. In the end though its all for naught, as we all know G is missing from the second game entirely, and presumed to be dead so the Player reaches no resolution there.

(Forgot to mention this in the first post as well, but I want Gs persian to directly attack Player at some point in the first Game. It fuels Players desperation to make him the answer to their probs, as well as makes player terrified of the persian evolution line as a fun little personality trait)

Some tidbits

Player has the constant feeling of being watched, adding to their already tense nerves.

Player and Silver start off as enemies to friends and they seem to be getting along all the way up until its reviled that G is Silvers father, and MC freaks out for, what seems like to Silver, no reason. Theres this whole thing where Silver pushes aside his pride to ask for Player to stay his friend- nearly begging- and this becomes a battle for Player to understand his feelings. Player- being a kid trapped in a world thats not their own with trauma they dont think they can tell anyone- lashes out at Sliver and runs.

This is when they learn how close they are to Kanto, and make a beeline to it. Everyone thinks theyre a runaway kid having a break down of some sort and desperately try to reach out to them. Their mother- whos calls they have been ignoring- pleads with them to come home and get help.

Thats not their mom tho, and thats not their home, so they go to the closest thing they can call home.

One final attempt, they go back to the Mountain where their last journey ended. Hoping maybe Mewtwo will be the answer they seek. Theyre scared, but theyre desperate. So they climb, forgoing everything else.

And they make it. They reach the top and theres a figure standing there but it's not Mewtwo, it was never going to be.

Red stands there, a looming, silent presence that Player had all but forgotten about (They had never even thought about Red, never even considered the body they used continued on living long after they left it) Red moves like a puppet with tangled strings. Never saying a word but lets out his first pokemon.

A richu. Theyre first ever partner, having never evolved under their care now an entirely new being. The worlds moving too fast, and theyre still stuck in the same spot reliving the same motions again. When will it end? When can they go home?

Player blacks out.

(On the other side of things, we have a Trainer from this world grappling with the fact his control was ripped away while someone else played pretend in his body. Theres a team he didnt want, a whole life and a title of champion he never worked for.

He had friends he didn't deserve.

A life that wasn't his.

So what else was there to do other then run away to the place where it all started for him.

And when they come back, he's ready to get some answers. But all he finds is a kid thats just as confused as he is. Both of them end up in the same place with less answers then when they started and when Red carries the unconscious kid down that hill he finds that there will less answers given- as the kid wakes up just like he did on that mountain one year ago.

But Blue is waiting for him at the bottom, so maybe theres still hope)

End Game two

Start Game Three.

Idk If I posted about this before but a pokemon based daydream Ive had ongoing for years now:

So like, MC is a normal person isakaied into the pokemon Game world- Pokemon Yellow. they're a young teen, generally around the same age as the Player character (Red) they took over. They're super excited because they're a kid and in a game world they loved and are losing their minds. They go through the game as Red, generally knowing the whole plot because they played through it. Its a general set up for world building and shit, This world building includes:

(For some reason bullet points arnt a thing anymore??? so I changed the color

nvmd figured it out...)

The whole after war theory that goes around about Kanto being confirmed, LT. Surge being implied to have been part of it.

implied that the legendaries that were not introduced in the first gen are still there and work from the shadows- would be foreshadowing.

a lot of info about pokemon destroyed during the war library of alexandria style- would be foreshadowing.

Older, higher level trainers chilling around places they dont need to be so that the younger trainers just starting out are being watched over- implied to be the start of what inspired rangers.

A war torn world that is trying to build itself back up, generally is a hopeful note as people and pokemon work side by side to help eachother.

The elite four being a little disjointed, as theyre working on a system.

Crime is easier to commit because of the devastation of the war and all that- this is why the villains of the games get... softer as the games go on. the seriously dangerous teams are removed and whats left are people that arent really a threat or people in positions of power that use it to do bad,

Mewtwo and Player having their first meeting- its not a nice one as Mewtwo is very weary/scared/violent and just coming out of used by team rocket. Player is taught that some pokemon really do want to kill them.

and then once everythings said and done, player goes to the top of the mountain to fight mewtwo...

and they lose. They black out, the last thing they see is mewtwos figure descending upon them as they begin to cry. they think this might be the end.

but its not.

they wake up

(TBC)