#they dont care about my grandpa or the pain or illnesses he went through | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

im-not-a-joke · 4 years ago

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Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

#fuck dude this took forever #long post #carson rambles

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letsdiscoverkitty · 8 years ago

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If this is too personal, please just ignore this ask. Also, I hope this doesn't sound offensive! Do you know why you got ill with anorexia? Sorry, if this is too personal.

It’s okay, I don’t mind you asking, this is, after all, a personal blog ^.^ I will try not to ramble too much, but I can’t promise anything.

I think, in all honesty, I will never know what exactly caused me to fall into the grips of Anorexia. I have had many therapists/support workers who have tried to work out “why” this happened, however it isn’t as simple as a few tick boxes on a sheet. I think I have, over time, come to the conclusion that it was a whole load of things that mounted up and there was yet another thing added to the pile and it was the thing to knock me over/cause the tower to “topple” (kind of like jenga?)

I went through a big depression episode the summer before I fell ill, I had an eye operation and could hardly leave the house for weeks due to anxiety/hitting a depression “wall” - I wasn’t allowed to exercise or swim (two things I loved) and I was anxious about starting A levels and all my friends leaving (I stayed at 6th form at my school where our whole year amounted to around 30 students).

In terms of what was it that “built up”? As a family we were never ones to “talk” about anything. If we hit something we had to overcome we would be practical, overcome it, and then put it right behind us. There was no time for being emotional. One big thing was my grandpa dying of a stroke when I was 12/13, it came as quiet a shock (although he suffered from Dementia so he had been slowly deteriorating for a while) however the family we have in this country you could count on one hand (my mum’s mum and dad and brother and his wife) so losing him was a big hit, and I never got to say goodbye/see him.I also felt a lot of pressure growing up as my brother went off to private school (I didn’t) and whom I looked up to quite a lot. Mum was always working. Dad worked from home but has always has a depression/alcohol issues that he refuses to acknowledge (mum said this is how he has been longer than she has been with him). Dad collapsed and basically died in-front of me (his body shut down for a while and heart stopped) when I was 14 years old and I was the one who had to phone the ambulance and try to help mum save him (he was okay in the end and stayed in hospital for a day or two and had some medication changed). Growing up I didn’t really have my emotional needs met by dad who was “there” physically but not emotionally (I vividly remember always worrying about what I would do if he collapsed at the wheel when driving me to primary school), although I was a very happy and outgoing child who wanted to do everything/anything she could, I was musical, sporty, academic, was part of the scouting movement, wanted to be out exploring and not stuck inside...Moving to middle school I only knew one other person (through her dad moving in next door to us) however all of my classmates went off to another intermediate school so that was tough. I have had a lazy eye all my life and so have had to deal with bullying and comments - middle school I used to cover half my face with my hair/literally cut my side fringe like an eye patch (I went through eye patching when I was very little and have always worn glasses however the NHS lost my notes and I never had an operation, well, until I went back to my GP aged 16 heavily depressed and was then given one, although it did not “fix” things it has made it a little better although my eyes dont work “together” - it was purely aesthetic).When I was 12, through me being a very nosey and a sister who would not back down, I found out that my brother was struggling with his identity (gender), this was something that my parents kept from me for a very long time and that no one talked about. Andi was not looked after very well by the MH services and my parents were alienated/not told how to help or support and I was completely forgot. This was a really hard thing for me to come to terms with, especially at the age of 12 (it was 21st December, 4 days before my birthday and I was suddenly told that my brother was not who I thought he was and that he had always been unhappy). This was never talked to me about (this was the winter after we lost my grandpa) and we literally just shut it away. Andi received some support but not much at all, he changed his name to Andi from Andrew when I was 15 and I was very supportive however it still was not something we ever talked about. (I think Dad struggled with it most as he is very traditional/in the generation where these things just never came up - and yes my parents are “older”) I still struggle with using the ‘right’ pronouns which is why I tend to just say “andi” because still to this day, many many years on, Andi still does not know what he wants to do. I thought he was going to go through the gender reassignment at one point as he did start hormones however he stopped going to appointments at the clinic he was under in London a number of years ago and ever since has been in a bit of a limbo. Andi also suffered from bulimia during college so has been very supportive with my issues (again no one “knew”). We have a relationship that is basically, we both know each of us is there for the other and we can talk about anything, but we get on better when we are not living together(?). Andi lives in Reading and his career is flying and he is quite happy although I do worry about his level of personal care but yes I am going on a bit too much about this...So this is some of the stuff that had built up (it is hard to think about it on the spot) and then I hit A levels and I had always been “a bit better than average” throughout school, never the top but in the top few and was often taken on trips for Oxbridge etc, however when I stayed at 6th form there was suddenly a huge spot light on me and another boy to be pipped for oxbridge/head girl and head boy etc. I put myself under so much pressure/stress and worked so so hard at the start of A levels that I pushed myself into the ground. This pressure and stress and constantly doing and not stopping (I was still involved in a lot of things, working part time (I have had a job since I was around 13) and didnt want to be at home - I loved sport and played the clarinet and bassoon and wanted to be studying and exercising and socialising) and it was just the one thing too many. Everything tumbled. I just couldn’t cope anymore.

In terms of why food? Before I fell into the grips of Anorexia I had always have a bit of a “weird/different” relationship with food; I was allergic to egg and milk when I was little. Primary school and “intermediate school” (years 6-8) were probably the most “normal” but then when I went into year 9, and in my area this meant we transitioned to the ‘grammar’ school, food became something I could control...I used to skip meals, lived off of energy drinks in the day, was extremely picky of what I would eat and then ate more at night. I did not see this as unhealthy or as a disordered thing, however looking back now I can see it was very much both of those things. I used to do a lot of sport as well, I was sports captain in my intermediate school, and then took up GCSE PE, was very close to going professional with swimming but decided to focus on education, I also volunteered as a swimming coach, was netball captain and just LOVED it all. Anyway, I can see that the combination of little eating and lots of exercise probably wasn’t the best of things - I was not underweight, however my periods were very irregular. Due to using this food as a crutch for quite a few years I think it was what I latched onto when I went into A levels. It was stress, anxiety, depression, and for me I needed to block it all out, numb all of the pain/hurt/worry. I became trapped by numbers, I never felt like my best was “good enough”, I was a perfectionist, a people pleaser and, yeah, it just crumbled.

Wow this has not come across the way I envisaged writing it. I am sorry for rambling on. This is what came to mind when writing, it is likely not the whole story, but I am not going to sit and dwell on/think too much about it as it is all quite raw still. I am now 22, this tumble happened when I was 16...which is quite scary to think about as I have lost a lot of time to this horrible illness. But yes, I hope this gives a little insight, and also how everyone is DIFFERENT - each journey is unique and personal, we may have similar struggles but I think, personally, that no two people who suffer from mental health struggles will ever be the same. I hope this answered your question a little x

#long post #personal #long long long #sorry for rambling #a bit of my story #Anonymous #asks

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thesitisalma-blog · 6 years ago

Text

#NotAshamed

i was bullied ever since i was a kid. i didn't had a normal childhood like other kids at that time had or could have do. i was always feeling so vulnerable every time and even asked my parents in anger why did they gave birth to me for. i was teased so badly and bullied just because i'm

not a pure malay i was a mixture combination of malay and my origins are malayalee also because i was chubby. i still remember till date every single thing that they have said to me throughout primary and high school time. there was once where my dad bring mercedez car which was a family car that belongs to my uncle to school to fetch me and my brother after school was over and they insult my dad so bad and every words was so hurtful and they said that must not be your father's car it is impossible for him to have that car i bet its his boss car and he is a driver that's why he brings that car to school to fetch you. i used to cry so bad and lock myself in the room every time after i came back from school. i tried to be like them make myself to be accepted in their community. i was hit by a broom, by a thick book until my hand was swollen, i got an full of ice cube thrown at me, every time after recess was over i go back to class and can see all of my things,books, and even my bag in the dustbin and the boys would laugh so hard at me when i took all of my things and put them back in my bag pack and sit in my seat back. i just wanted to be accepted by them for who i really am even worst they even put a dead bird underneath my table where i always keep my things and i screamed so loud as i saw the dead bird under my table and that's when the boys laughed so hard and said serves you right all because my dad request to shift me from second last to third class but by luck i got into second class when i was 15 years old and since then till i finished my high school i got bullied until to one stage i got a terrible breakdown till i was send by my parents to see a psychiatric at ppum and was under medication for a while to control my depression and anxiety attacks. i also had been having insomnia ever since i was at school. its very hard to feel happy even at times when you're feeling so down about yourself and yet you had to be strong because i didn't wanted to be seen weak in front of others. i used to cry in silent every time and cursed myself for everything that happened to me. i didn't had anyone's emotional support back at that time except from my grandpa he was the only one that truly understands me without me having to say a word and he can know my feelings but i have lost him for good because he went to meet allah and left me all alone also my uncle who was one of a kind the person whom i loved, care and respect the most because every time when he knows im upset without saying a word he would just give me a tight hug and tab my back and say its ok everything will be just fine and i dont have to worry about anything and i would feel so safe but the moment i lost them i felt like a part of me has been taken away and i would just never talked to anyone much and isolate myself from others. i would always be in my bed all day long without moving or go outside anywhere but i had to wake up and get ready to go to college and i tried to keep myself busy with my studies but i was very playful when i first joined college for my diploma course. i would never attend the classes most of the times, i would even skip my classes and joined my college mates and hangout at mall just opposite my college and i failed my exams so bad during my first year of college and when my parents got to know about this they stopped me from college and i was in house for 6 months and did a part time job and that is when i begged my father to let me join college back and finish of what i have started because i didn't like to leave things half way and then i rejoined college back in 2013 and manage to complete my diploma course after 5 years of struggle and prove every one wrong who think i couldn't finish it off. during these times my i have put on a lot weight due to my depression and anxiety attacks which made me to have insomnia as well and i was teased at college and got bullied because of my weight but throughtout my diploma years i have met few decent friends whom stood by me in good and bad times. it is extremely hard for me to always smile and post picture in instagram with motivational quotes to help others who facing hard times in their lives and always became a place for them to lean on and became their motivator because i didn't wanted to anyone that i care who's suffering and seeing them in pain because i know how it feels like to be totally worthless. i always help others and encourage them, motivate them and became a good listener to their problems and advice but somehow deep down inside me i always felt lonely and during my diploma time i fell in love with a guy who is 3 years younger than me whom i thought would be my everything but sadly the relationship didn't last and i was left hanging for no reason and every one was talking behind my back about our break up and was spreading unwanted rumors about it and my name went bad and i almost cut my wrist because i couldn't handle the pressure from surroundings and was dealing some family issues as well but my best friend stopped me and slap me hard and i just cried in her arms so badly because i couldn't handle the pain and think what have i ever done to them and him till i had to go through all this which i don't deserve it at all and was struggling with depression and battling against it for years thanks to my close friends and emotional support that i receive from them and my family i did manage to survive all these years by depending on my physical strength. my mental and emotinal strength has totally been ripped off. i didn't wanted to be lonely because i was scared that ill go into depression again and harm myself. all i ever wanted was a bit of love, happiness and emotional support from my family and parents but eventhough if i tell my problems to them they wont even understand the pain or the struggle which i was going through. there was a time where i tried to end my life by consuming calamite lotion after suffering from severe mental and emotional breakdown but my mom saved my life by making me throw up all of it. i often felt like i'm a total loser in my life and nothing but a burden for all surrounding me. i always lock myself in room and cried as hard as i can thinking why all of it is happening to me, why does it always has to be me going through all this when i never done any harm to anyone and was just being myself. its extremely hard for me to smile and all when i was hurting inside. through out the years i have been depending on my physical strength to survive and live the day. i also became very rebellious i would always leave my room in a mess and untidy the whole room and always would be fighting and arguing with my parents and brothers because i didn't know how to handle my depression and always had mood swings all the time. i just wanted some emotional support from my dad or just a tight hug from him to melt all of my problems away just like how my uncle use to do when he was still alive and motivate and encourage me just like how my grandpa used to do whenever i'm feeling down of myself. then i had a cat named tommy who was like my son and made my day i often play with him and became like a child when i was with him because somehow it helps me to forget my pain. then shortly after that i had another cat named cheezy who is a darl to me and my baby girl and would always spend most of my times with them until tommy ran away from home which left cheezy then she became my small world. i was somehow trying to recover from my depression until i had a call from a lawyer which was from my previous college that says i had certain outstanding payment to be cleared or else i had to face the court and during that i was in the midst of my 3rd semester exam week for my degree course and was doing revision and preparing for my final exam for my 3rd semester and told this to my parents and then the following day i went to my previous college with my mom and brother to meet the person in charge and after all that through out in the car my mom was shouting in the car at me and forcing me to stop my studies and work which i didn't wanted because i needed the degree in order for me to have a better and stabil career and salary package and after we reached home my mom went to her room and shortly after that my second brother came and asked my mom how did it all go and she was telling everything to him and then i just told my mom to stop making it a big fuss and create a drama out of it because i didn't know anything that this would come and was in the midst of preparing for my final exams for 3rd semester where she yelled at me and says in tears that my father was shivering while taking out all the documents and was thinking how is he going to pay to settle the payment and my brother told me that i am nothing but a burden to them and know how to trouble everyone and put them in trouble at that moment i was in shocked to hear that my brother could even say those words to me. i was like ya allah why during times where i didn't slept for days and was really working hard for my exams i had to go through all this and i had a terrible anxiety attack and emotional breakdown where i consumed overdose of paracetamol because at that time i couldn't think of anything and wanted to end my life because when seeing my father in such situation i thought why not i just leave the world rather than being a burden for all of them and took without thinking anything and right after that in the morning i was feeling very weak and a headache then my mom came to me and said its ok we will figure it out and solve it and i called my friend and told her everything and told her to be on the line until i reached the place where we supposed to meet and once i was there we sit and talked for a while and after having my lunch i started to feel heavy giddiness and terrible headache and couldn't even walk because i was about to collapsed due to the effects from the panadol and then my friend held me and send me till chow kit monorail station and i booked myself a grab from there to hkl and got myself admitted in the emergency ward and i was in half critical ward because the effect from the medicine i took affected my liver and kidney badly and i was in the midst of life and death and the doctors told me despite being in that stage it is a miracle that i'm still alive and able to breathe and they told me to inform my parents where i didn't wanted to because i was not in a situation where i can talk to them and told my friend to inform them and shortly after that my mom called me and cried and ask how am i now and what actually happened till i got admitted and i couldn't talk much due to the iv drips and giddiness and my bp went very low till they had to put me in the ward for observation and i was diagnosed with acute depression and right after the call my mom went and call my dad and informed him about my conditions and he was in a total shocked after hearing the news and called my elder brother to come to his office and drive the car to come and meet me in hospital as he couldn't drive in that situation and just a few minutes after dawn they came and asked me what happened and all i was just in silent and didnt talk much at them because at that moment i feel like i was nothing but a burden for my dad. people will normally tell that it is wrong to do all this and etc but they don't understand the pain, the struggle and all that i was going through because all they could see is just my mistakes and not my pain but that's when i realized something that if i dont talk and share my stories i would always be in dark. i decided to share my story because i wanted others out there who's going through the same to talk their heart out and share their stories as well so they could bring awareness to others about the seriousness of mental health and depression and inspire others out there so that it could help them to come out from their depression as well. it is ok to cry, it is ok to be sad and all but never let it to consume you totally because running away from it is not gonna solve anything instead embrace it and always know problems are there to make us be stronger than we are now. through out the 5 days of being hospitalized and was under observation i came to realize that ending my life is not gonna help to get rid of my pain or the depression that i am facing but by sharing it so that i can inspire others out there to face their problems and let everyone know and realize that there is always a way out for everything. i hope my story somehow help other womans out there to speak up and share their stories as well and together bring awareness of the importance of mental health and overcome depression. and i am so blessed with such a loving and supporting family and they meant the whole world to me especially my parents and i am so blessed to have such a supporting, understanding and caring close friends who is my second family who always encourages and motivates me everytime when i feel down about myself and from this incident i started to love myself more and closer to allah with the helps from my family and friends which i will be forever grateful for it. this is my story and i am

#NotAshamed

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captain-spookycandycollecti-blog · 6 years ago

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Levelland Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 79338

"Levelland Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 79338

Levelland Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 79338

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Levelland Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 79338

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Levelland Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 79338

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My friend works for a rental car company and she tells me people who come from abroad don't have to pay for liability or for comprehensive (collision) insurance when they rent a car. This isn't fair for the US citizens who live, work and pay taxes!? When I make a reservation on a website, I have to pay almost $30 a day EXTRA for insurance on a car. That's like half of what the car cost me to rent! Then I gotta pay for insurance when some foreigner could be running a muck, damaging other vehicles because he has free insurance???!!! This is rediculous and I want an answer!""

""93' Subaru Impreza rear ended, repairs cost more then car, insurance will want to junk?""

My brother-in-law bought this car for $2,000, 5 years ago. It had about 75k miles on it. He has driven it to hell and back. Now it is still going strong with 150K but he just got hit from behind and the insurance company will want to junk it because the repairs will cost more then the car. He has asked the other party for $600 out of pocket but the other party wants to go thru insurance because they only have a $200 deductible. The repair estimate will be around $1,200 if not more and the Kelly Blue Book value of the car is $1,200. He does not want to give up the car, he loves it. What are his options? Take the $200?""

How do you have a baby without insurance?

alright so im not pregnant yet but my question is how do you get insurance and such when i finally get pregnant

Auto insurance listed driver question?

My question is as follows: What is the difference between me allowing someone to drive my car and me having someone listed as a second driver on my insurance policy when it comes to an accident. What are the differnces in the two situations at the time of an accident claim being filed? I know if the person I let drive my car had no fault in the accident, my rate wouldn't go up if I settle with my own insurance company. But if its the person who is driving my car's fault, are my insurance premiums affected? If yes, then what is the difference in not having the person listed at all and still making a claim through my own insurance. I ask because I am thinking of putting my girlfriend who drivers my car sometimes listed as a driver on the policy. Would this protect me or my premiums in anyway in case of an accident compared to not having her listed at all?""

Question about my insurance?

I had an accident two weeks ago I wonder if my insurance pay for my medical costs. (suppose I am at fault) and I have full coverage insurance which includes: Bodily injury 25/50 (is it for the other person involved who is not at fault or can it be used for me too?) uninsured motorist 25/50 comprehensive collision

Do people on medicare have to apply for affordable care?

According to the affordable care act people have to register for insurance in October .

Car insurance/tax when buy a new car?

i have only had one car since i passed and im looking to branch out and get a new one,so wot happens if i get a new car after ive taxed my current one for say six months and insured it for a year but monthly paid for the insurance??""

Car insurance question?

I bought my car on Aug 25 2008. But the policy period on my new policy is from Aug 2 2008 to Aug 2 2009. How can they cover me before I bought my car. Is Safety Insurance of Massachusetts always do business in this sneaky way?

Can I save money by canceling my insurance and just driving my girlfriends car?

I got a DUI earlier this year, and naturally, my insurance rates went way up. I'm getting ready to move in with my girlfriend, and we are planning on selling one of the cars. If I sell my car, couldn't I just drive her car and not have to pay the high insurance rates? This seems underhanded and like I'm cheating the system. What are the rules and stipulations with this sort of situation.""

Motor Insurance from group 5 to group 12?

I'm currently paying 30 per month for my group 5 car insurance but I've been offered a car that's group 12. I can't get a quote until I know all the details of the car, but don't want to look too interested until I know about the insurance. anyone give me an idea please?""

What is the average cost of general liability insurance for someone that does light field work like surveying?

Live in Oklahoma and do alot of surveying and consulting. Just wondering if anyone has any ideas about what it might cost to insure my employees against bodily damage ect.

How much approx. to insure 1100cc for 7 days?

Any help on this question will be appreciated. I'm only looking for an approximation as I've no idea what the general insurance rates are for short term car insurance. Insurance would only need be 3rd part fire and theft. Would it cost me 10, 50 a 100 pounds, I've no idea. Again any help appreciated. Thanks.""

Levelland Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 79338

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