#they don't realize they hurt people or they're just really mean?

[galadrieljones]

Okay but wait is no one gonna talk about the part where the reason this freshman can't focus is because they're spending so much time on tiktok that their eyes hurt?

Too much reliance on generative AI is a symptom of a larger problem. It's not the problem itself. Social media addiction has actually destroyed the attention spans of an entire generation, and it's not even funny. The difference between someone who's 18yo with a social media addiction and someone who's 35+ is that the olds have memory of a time before and methods for returning and finding clarity. We were already young adults when social media became a Thing. Most of us were out of college or at least in college before the first iPhone even came out. We had already developed methods of living and coping and problem solving BEFORE we had social media and the internet at our very fingertips to tell us what to do.

BUT someone who grew up in this environment, unless they've been actively taught and guided by conscious, well-educated caretakers, has zero knowledge of anything else. We can't expect that our experience is in any way relatable to theirs. It's as alien as anything. And those caretakers by the way, aka parents who are usually Gen Xers, are imho doing the best they can, in most situations. Just like their children, most don't have a frame of reference for what's going on. They may assume that what they lived was the default setting for human existence because life really was different without the internet, like it was REALLY DIFFERENT, and so they do simply assume it will Be Okay, and while this sort of naïveté is ALSO a problem, we can't just outright blame them either. There's no one person or group to blame.

But. This is part of why there is a huge disconnect in academia, as your teachers are in their 40s and 50s, and they legit cannot grasp the issue. Just put down the phone and type! Ha. In the other direction, you have institutions creating entire departmental roles to try and meet the attention span issue halfway. Gamification. Online learning environments. Shorter readings. In-class personal essays. The list goes on. Anything to keep the kids from running to the ChatGPT!! I taught in higher ed for 14 years and I saw all of this. The rancor and hand-wringing over AI in its earliest, most misunderstood days was insufferable in its futility.

So at the risk of sounding contrarian, we actually can't just ban AI or demonize AI and those who use it. AI exists now and is readily available to even those who don't go to college. This is the new normal. Learning how to use it and incorporate it effectively while slowly introducing the concept of an Attention Span to those without one is just part of the only way forward. Also, people are going to use AI for things we may consider to be "stupid" but like, it is going to find its place, just like everything else. We've already entered the "moral superiority" stage, btw, in which people tout their "ChatGPT virginity" as if it makes them a better person than some tired college kid in Bowling Green who used it a couple times to finish a research paper the night before it was due. Realize that in 2007 there were ppl for whom Not Being On Facebook was a point of pride and virtue also. Every single one of them is on Facebook now at the very least, and some are social media addicts just like the rest of us. Such is the progression of time and adaptation!!

In terms of kids "cheating their way through college," again, we can't just blame AI. There really is something to be done about the cultural importance of "college," and figuring out why we have so many kids in college who actually don't need or want to be there. If college were a place you went to learn and grow, then ChatGPT would not be such a pressing concern. Instead, it's become a mostly mandatory extension of high school, with any perspective on what it means to NOT go to Traditional College entirely limited and in many places, outright and unfairly stigmatized. But that's really another discussion altogether.

Anyway, when it comes to AI, noticing the problem is GOOD. But Fighting it tooth and nail and hoping it just goes away is futile, because it's actually not the root cause of what's going on, imho.

Generative AI has destroyed academia.

In the next few decades we’re going to have thousands of people who don’t really know anything, and can’t do any critical thinking.

[literallypyro]

Three (mostly) random headcanons for all the mercs!

Warnings: none

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint

Scout:

-He can cook, but only WITHOUT a recipe. Look, I know he's illiterate, so just imagine someone's reading it to him, mkay? Idk what it is, but when he has to follow a recipe, it ends in disaster. Let him wing it, and you'll think you're at a 5 star restaurant.

-Tells his mom all about you. She basically knows everything about you, and it's not because she asked.

-Total malewife. What you say GOES (unless you tell him to stop buying Bonk. That's a losing battle, toots. When has a little radiation ever hurt anyone?)

Soldier:

-While this man is virtually never quiet, he's noticeably the least loud around you. Unless you feed into his loudness. If that's the case, may God have mercy on the rest of the team's souls.

-He isn't book smart, and with a lot of people, emotional intelligence isn't really his strong suit either. But around you? It's like this mf has a sixth sense. It's almost concerning. You CANNOT hide your emotions from this guy.

-Please for the love of all that is American, take this man to a chiropractor. I know he's used to rocket jumping, but that's precisely the issue. He doesn't even realize how fucked up his joints are.

Pyro:

-Actually the sweetest ever. Just cuz they're crazy doesn't mean they aren't the silliest hopeless romantic ever. Can't kiss you through the mask, but will damn sure try. They have left a print on your cheek from pressing their mask into it before, and they will do it again.

-If someone disrespects you, they will be catching Pyro's hands. The flamethrower will be saved for when the idiot who insulted you can't use any of their limbs.

-CLINGS to you when it's bed time. You'll have to wait until they fall asleep if you want out of their grasp (but why would you?)

Demoman:

-Never short on stories. If you're bored, just say so, and he already has five stories in mind that he hasn't told you yet. Sometimes he laughs a little too hard and it takes a minute to get back to the story.

-PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE compliment this man. We see how quickly he can swing between insecure and confident. Additionally, he would absolutely adore any eye patches you make him. If you make him multiple, he's switching them out every day. Make ones for specific occasions, and bro is at your mercy.

-If you can out drink him, or even just keep up, he's lowkey worried about you. He knows he has a problem. He's actually pretty realistic about it. He WILL be asking if there's something you want to talk about at some point.

Heavy:

-He knows you don't need to be protected at all times, but he has a hard time letting you defend yourself. Just look at the way he grew up. A big chunk of this man's personality is just "bodyguard to loved ones". You will have to bring his attention to it if you want him to back off, and as soon as you do, he listens. It's mostly out of habit, if I'm being honest.

-Lord help anyone who makes you uncomfortable. He gets such a threatening look on his face as he asks the person questions that don't SOUND like threats, but they damn sure feel like threats.

-Oh, you thought he wouldn't go out of his way to write translated versions of his Russian books so you can read them when he's not around? Well you're WRONG. If you ask if he has translated versions of his books, he won't tell you he was the one who translated them, but you recognize his handwriting.

Engineer:

-This guy will grill out every single day if you ask him to. Burgers? Got it. Hot dogs? Easy peasy. Smoked ribs? Don't gotta ask him twice! Mans will make sure every craving you have is satisfied, or may lightning strike him where he stands.

-He has already memorized your schedule. You were about to take a shower but- it's already on? No one's in there??? And it's at the perfect temperature???? Not to mention how your laundry was mysteriously folded when you were too tired to do it all at once... Safe to say, even though it was unintentional, he has committed every single one of your habits to memory like a tattoo.

-This man is a thinking, breathing jukebox. Can play literally any song from any genre off the top of his head. He can also easily convert songs to different genres.

Medic:

-He actually has amazing handwriting when it comes to signatures. The only reason he writes like a stereotypical doctor is because he wants to be able to switch up last second if he needs to.

-You are one of the very few people he trusts to watch his birds, and it's because he knows you know how he is. Did you forget about the whole baboon uterus thing? Surely not.

-Actually surprisingly careful with you. He'd be mentally punching himself if the rib thing with Heavy happened to you. Even owns your soul so the devil can't try to use you against him.

Sniper:

-Your are literally the only reason he would sleep in the base at night, but he REALLY prefers you sleep in the camper with him. He's kinda clingy, but not to Pyro's extent. Seeing how he is with everyone else, he obviously understands personal space.

-Secretly has the voice of an angel. He has intense stage fright about it, though, so NOBODY is about to find out.

-If you're scared or over-cautious of animals, he's definitely gonna fix that. He'll ease you into it, but given the time, you will have pet and fed every animal he can get his hands on.

Spy:

-We've all seen how much of a romantic this guy is. You are getting absolutely SPOILED ROTTEN when he is around. Hold his arm anytime you want. You want flowers? Tell him which ones, what color, and from where, darling. Can't dance? Well, he's pretending not to notice. He gazes at you lovingly, and you can't even tell he's in immense pain from you stepping on his feet.

-Has every high end cologne and has a different one for every occasion. This guy has SO MANY. He even has different ones for different restaurants. You could consider it a hyperfixation if you wanted to.

-You are his queen/king/monarch and WILL NOT let you forget it. Tells you every single day, sometimes multiple times a day how important you are to him and how much he cherishes you. Who cares if the team is around? They're just mad he got to you first, ma beauté.

[angstfactory]

Winter wanted to excuse away how wrong all of this was. Maybe, even, he wasn't wrong. After all, he would know far better than Tripps would, how his parents were. The guy seemed genuine, the way he championed them and claimed they were good people. "Yeah well," he murmured then, trying to see it from Winter's and his parents' perspective, "I guess it sounds like you've been dealing with this for a long time.. and life doesn't just stop and all, so.. maybe they don't got much choice, to keep on and hope you'll be okay." Honestly, now that his initial shock of it all had worn off, Tripps found he could relate and believe these words more than he realized at first.

Because weren't his parents doing the same thing? They had stuck with him, through thick and thin, his entire life trying to help him get hold of those damn allergies and lose the weight — but at some point, those training wheels had definitely come off, where Tripps had become more independent and learned to do it all more on his own, instead. His parents were still in the picture, they were only a phone call away or he could run home to them any time he needed a hug or something, at least. So maybe their situations weren't all so different, and he needed to back off the guy's parents for dealing with an already shitty situation the only way that made sense: by continuing. That initial frustration at their lack of presence ebbed away, especially with Winter's say that it was okay.

It may not really be that okay, but that didn't mean they were really to blame for it, either. He was sure none of them had asked for Winter to be caught up in this strange and tragic situation.

A startled laugh came out of Tripps, which he covered by quickly taking a healthy swig of juice as he considered how to answer that question. Winter had been so honest and upfront with him, it seemed. He felt guilty, to want to hide himself away and continue on being the charming, hot guy that Winter appeared so taken by. What would happen if he dropped the bomb that yeah, actually, he was allergic to bees and quite a few other things, in fact. And hey, did you know he used to be the chubby kid everyone used to make fun of back in the day? Or how about how his whole persona today was nothing more than a smokescreen of what he thought others would think was cool and attractive? That he only got into music because it made him look hot?

Somehow, he just didn't think Winter would be so into a nerdy guy that secretly wanted to be a comic book illustrator, and enjoyed dorky stuff like Dungeons and Dragons or sci-fi shows. He doubted Winter would find it so hot, that he had to keep an epi-pen on hand and could hardly stand to look himself in the mirror, let alone want anyone to see him naked. Nah, it was better to keep up the fantasy, because reality bites.

"Ha, yeah," Tripps licked juice from his lips, shooting a sudden grin towards Winter as he played it off like a joke, "I totally look like someone allergic to bees, right? In fact, I can't even go outside, I break out in hives just thinking about it." He gave Winter a playful nudge in the arm with his elbow, to show he was teasing. "Bees are fine," he said then, smiling, but shrugging. "They're cute and all, but I'm not going to go out there making friends with them. Those stingers hurt. I don't like bugs." He paused, "Insects? Both.." He shook his head. "You know what I mean," he laughed. "But hey, it's cool you like them? I never met anyone who was into beekeeping as a hobby, so like, that's pretty unique and stuff. How'd you even know you wanted to get into something like that?

Tripps gave a discreet cough into his arm as he mumbled something like, "Oh yeah, I knew that" when Winter gently corrected that it was called quilting. There was a pink stain to his cheeks, feeling stupid. Of course, quilting. "And here's another thing you do," he went on, like that embarrassment never happened, touching the guilt they sat on. "Never met anyone who quilted, either. Who taught you?" This memory thing, it was so puzzling to Tripps. "It's interesting, that there's stuff you do remember and other stuff you don't, and even more that you forget.. I can't imagine the noise in your head over it." He shook his head, even as he was trying to imagine it.

But then Winter loomed into his space to plant a sweet kiss on his lips, and it distracted him from trying to imagine that. Visibly, Tripps looked uncertain of the moment, because it was how he actually felt. "It's okay," he said, which was the truth. The kiss itself wasn't what bothered him; it was nice, he liked being kissed. "I just —" he rubbed the side of his neck, once again feeling the swell of guilt inside, "— I made all those jokes about how I'd get you to remember who I was because I didn't take you seriously, and thought we'd come back here to just make out or something... But now.." Tripps took another long drink of juice, before he held the glass in lap with both hands, looking down. "It feels like I'd be taking advantage of you and I ah, don't want to be someone that'd do something like that."

Tripps was right: Winter hadn't really thought about how his parents had kind of abandoned him. But it wasn't so black and white either. "They didn't leave at first," Winter told Tripps, "and then they would take turns. But they never got to see each other, and I saw how hard it was for them to be apart, so I told them it was okay. I said I was fine." He wasn't fine though, he was just getting through this day by day, which was not the same thing. "They're not terrible people," Winter insisted, and he meant it. "Maybe...this is shitty, I can see that now. But they're not bad people, and they do love me." Winter wasn't just saying this either - he believed it completely. What Tripps had said was true, but so was what Winter had said. It seemed like the other man felt badly too, but Winter wasn't mad at him. Tripps had only been getting defensive on his behalf, and it actually meant quite a bit that Tripps felt even a little bit protective of him. Feeling a surge of affection for the other man, Winter just hugged him close. "I like how solid you are," Winter said softly. "It's nice. And yeah, I'm okay."

Laughing at Tripps's accent, Winter grabbed a glass and poured some juice into it, handing it to his friend. That's what they were, Winter decided: they were friends at least, and maybe they had been more, or could be. Right now Winter just wanted to spend time with Tripps and feel like a normal person for once. The pair made their way to Winter's bedroom, and once Tripps was sitting on the bed, Winter wondered if this was the first time, not just for Tripps to be in his bed but for any guy. Winter knew he'd been with guys before of course, but had Tripps been in his bed? Had he even been in his bedroom? There was so much about their relationship that remained a mystery for Winter. Smiling at Tripps's comment, Winter nodded. "Yeah, I am," he confirmed. "It's kind of my passion. Do you just not like bees, or are you allergic?" Like Tripps, Winter was amused by their difference of opinions on the matter, and while waiting for Tripps to answer, Winter removed his notebook from his back pocket and prepared to write down the other man's answer.

"I made it, yeah," Winter answered, running his hand over the quilt. "It's not knitting," he explained, "it's...well, quilting. It's kind of its own thing, though there's a lot of sewing involved. I'm a seamster at The Cozy Quilt, so I'm good with this sort of thing. I'm glad I remember how to do it and everything about beekeeping." Winter didn't know why he remembered both things so well, but he was grateful for it; otherwise he'd feel even more lost. For a few moments, Winter just looked at the quilt, lost in thought. He knew what he wanted to do, but he wasn't sure if Tripps was feeling the same way. What the hell? he thought, and then before he could talk himself out of it, Winter leaned in and pressed a kiss to the other man's lips. It was firm yet sweet, and Winter smiled tentatively when he pulled back. "Was that okay?" he asked the man.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

with a few minutes' reflection and a second conversation with my parents I have realized that I may have overblown things and overreacted a bit and also in some ways they're correct even if I think they're also harsh about it

[earlgraytay]

So the "don't call trans women dude" discourse is back on my dash, and I just read something that might explain why it's such a frustrating argument for everyone involved.

TLDR: There's gender-cultural differences that explain why people are arguing about this- and a reason it hurts trans women more than you might think if you were raised on the other side of the cultural divide.

I'll admit, I used to be very much on team "I won't call you 'dude' if it feels like misgendering, but also I don't really grok why it feels like I'm misgendering you, especially if I'm not addressing you directly." But then I read an academic paper that really unpicked how people used the word 'dude' (it's Kiesling (2004) if you're curious) and I realized that the way I was taught to use the word was different from the way most trans women were taught.

... So the thing about the word 'dude' that's really interesting is that it's used differently a) by people of different genders and b) across gender lines. This study is, obviously, 20 years old, but a lot of the conclusions hold up. The gist is, there's ~5 different ways that people use the word "dude":

marking discourse structure- AKA separating thoughts. You can use the word 'dude' to signal that you're changing the subject or going on a different train of thought.

exclamation. You can use the word "dude" the way you'd use another interjection like "oh my god" or "god damn".

confrontational stance mitigation. When you're getting in an argument with someone, you can address them as 'dude' to de-escalate. If you're both the same gender, it's homosocial bonding. If you're different genders, it's an attempt to weaken the gender-related power dynamic.

marking affiliation and connection. Kiesling calls this 'cool solidarity'- the idea is, "I'm a dude, you're a dude. We're just guys being dudes." This is often a greeting or a form of address (aka directly calling someone dude).

signaling agreement. "Dude, you are soooo right", kind of deal.

Now, here's the important part.

When [cis] men use the word 'dude', they are overwhelmingly using it as a form of address to mark affiliation and connection- "hey, we're all bros here, dude"- to mitigate a confrontational stance, or to signal agreement.

When [cis] women use the word 'dude', they're often commiserating about something bad (and marking affiliation/connection), mitigating a confrontational stance, or giving someone a direct order. (Anecdotally, I'd guess cis women also use it as an exclamation - this is how I most often use it.)

Cis men use the word 'dude' to say 'we're all guys here'. It is a direct form of male bonding. If a cis man uses the word 'dude' in your presence, he is generally calling you one of the guys.

Cis women use the word 'dude' to say 'we're on the same level as you; we're peers'- especially to de-escalate an argument with a cis man. Between women, it's an expression of ~cool solidarity~; when a woman's addressing a man, it's a way to say 'I'm as good as you, knock it off'.

So you've got this cultural difference, depending on how you were raised and where you spent time in your formative years. If you were assigned female at birth, you're probably used to thinking of the word 'dude' as something that isn't a direct form of address- and, if you're addressing it to someone you see as a girl, you're probably thinking of it as 'cool solidarity'! You're not trying to tell the person you're talking to that they're a man- you're trying to convey that they're a cool person that you relate to as a peer.

Meanwhile, if you were assigned male at birth and spent your teens surrounded by cis guys, you're used to thinking of 'dude' as an expression of "we're all guys here", and specifically as homosocial male bonding. Someone using the word 'dude' extensively in your presence, even if they're not calling you 'dude' directly, feels like they're trying to put you in the Man Box, regardless of how they mean it.*

So what you get is this horrible, neverending argument, where everyone's lightly triggered and no one's happy.

The takeaway here: Obviously, don't call people things they don't want to be called, regardless of gender! But no one in this argument is coming to it in bad faith.

If you were raised as a cis woman and you're using the word the way a cis woman is, it is a gender-neutral term for you (with some subconscious gendered connotations you might not have realized). But if you were raised as a cis man and you're using the word the way a cis man uses it, the word dude is inherently gendered.

Don't pick this fight; it's as pointless as a French person and an American person arguing whether cheek kisses are an acceptable greeting. To one person, they might be. To another person, they aren't. Accept that your worldview is different, move on, and again, don't call people things they don't want to be called.

*(There is, of course, also the secret third thing, where someone who is trying to misgender a trans woman uses the word 'dude' to a trans woman the way they'd use it to a man. This absolutely happens. But I think the other dynamic is the reason we keep having this argument.)

[dunmeshistash]

One of the things I really appreciate about Dungeon Meshi is how the text is so clearly full of love for animals. Like the true kind of love Laios feels for the monster where he wants to know everything about them, but most of all he respects them and loves them as animals.

One of the chapters I can't stop thinking about is the one about Anne the Kelpie. It's kind of impressive how well it illustrates the different kind of love people have for animals. And how someone that loves an animal isn't necessarily an animal lover. If that makes sense.

When Senshi calls out Anne what he says is "Don't worry Anne's Harmless" but she isn't, she's a wild animal.

Marcille immediately reacts positively about it thinking it's cute she accepts the treat Senshi has for her. And hers and Chilchuck's reaction to Senshi wanting to cross the river on her back is more surprise while Laios immediately realizes how bad of an idea it is.

But Laios is the animal monster lover so how come when he finally is faced with a "docile" monster he doesn't react positively like the others? Marcille even calls him a monster. That's because Laios loves monsters, and Senshi loves Anne.

I've seen this attitude around me several times, where people love a specific animal but what they love is their idea of that animal, they don't really know them because they don't love the animal part of them.

It becomes a "this one is special because I love them" that can quickly become an issue for the animal as much as it is for the person. It's something unfortunate I see time and time again irl.

Anne wasn't wicked, Anne wasn't mean, Anne didn't trick him. Anne was a wild animal and Senshi loved her as Anne but not as a kelpie.

She acted on instinct, maybe she did love Senshi in the way kelpies can love, but animals are still animals and must be respected and treated as such. Climbing on top of Anne's back was the equivalent of putting your arm inside a alligator's mouth, the mouth is gonna close because that's what they're designed to do.

The real life equivalent I see the most of "I love this animal but I don't love the animal part of them" is with dogs. If you insist on loving an animal without acknowledging they ARE an animal they might hurt you, you might hurt them, it will only end in grief.

The best way you can love an animal is by understanding they're an animal.

That is all to say I don't mean that the love Senshi felt for Anne wasn't real or that it's all his fault. He couldn't have known with the information he had and unfortunately it came down to the worst outcome.

I just love dungeon meshi dearly.

[yet-another-heathen]

On conditioned whumpees...

Y'know, I think one of the things that people get wrong with conditioned whumpees is their rules. Specifically, when a whumpee was in long term captivity/training and they later get released or escape.

Most people write them as latching onto a caretaker or new whumper, and begging for new rules so they know they're doing something right. A new set of laws to live by, a new framework to behave to.

And that's... not really how conditioning works.

Conditioning means automatic reactions. Your body doing something that was trained into you without consulting your brain first.

There is no decision making. There is no choice. The trigger hits, and you are immediately performing the correct action regardless of anything else.

You're told to kneel? Your knees have already hit the ground. You're supposed to be standing in one part of the house when a certain noise is made? You've launched into movement before you even realize what you heard.

These rules are woven into the fabric of your body. And they are insurmountable. The conditioning overrides emotion, internal conflict, hesitation, beliefs, wants... everything.

Your whumpee may very well hate what is being done to them, and after the moment has passed they're cursing themself and their whumper. They're still a person on the inside. And that person is still very much alive. Most of the time, they will have some level of awareness that what's being done to them is wrong. They'll be angry. They'll be hurt. And they will hate that there is nothing they can do about it.

But the next time that trigger occurs, the response still hits them exactly the same.

So now take your whumpee out of that situation. They ran away, were rescued, were sold. They got out. Now they're with new people, a new caretaker, a new whumper. Or they're on their own and trying to make their own way in the world.

But those conditioned responses are still there.

There's no turning them off. You don't just replace them with new rules. They are in your every fibre. They have been built into the very framework of who you are.

The next time someone says the word "kneel", your knees are on the ground again. No matter where you are, or who you're with. The response happens before you can stop it. If they don't know why, everyone looks at you like you're insane. And you feel like you are.

Deconditioning is an agonizing process that takes more effort than I can even begin to describe to someone who's never experienced it.

Every time they hit that trigger, that response will still be there. Over, and over, and over, and over.

Breaking those rules down takes YEARS. And it is a constant effort that the whumpee has to choose to undergo every single time. Progress is measured milimeter by milimeter. You're told to kneel, and you kneel. You're told to kneel, and your mind catches up with the fact that you already did it— but a little sooner than it did before. Then a split second sooner. Then as you're doing it. Then you feel the impulse just before your knees hit the ground. Then you have a split-second of resistance before you go down. On and on and on and on, inching toward progress despite the fact that you're fighting with all your might. And that progress is anything but linear.

You don't just start obeying new rules. You don't latch on to your caretaker's new way of doing things and drop everything that you were conditioned to do before. These rules don't just get replaced.

Conditioning is not a belief system. It's a flinch response. Programmed deeper than the instincts you were born with.

You can be ordered not to obey the old command, and moments later when the trigger comes, you will anyway. Because in conditioning, the action comes before the choice.

These rules, these laws of your existence, come above everything else. And if your new whumper wants to replace them, they are going to have to beat the new rules into you so often and so severely that the pain becomes stronger than the old conditioning. At which point, the newly desired response will very, very slowly start to take over.

You're not swapping out new rules. You're layering new, worse conditioning on top of the old. And your brain will spend time stuck in that split-second between both responses before one finally grows stronger than the other. And even then, the change will not happen quickly.

That is what your conditioned whumpee is up against. That is what makes it such a horrible—HORRIBLE— and powerful tool.

[miange1]

Dexter, Angel, Brian, and James with someone who has a baby face w/ a deep voice

head cannons, male reader, reader has high moans, brian is a freak, doaks is secretly a freak, being way too curious with someone, they don't realize it's cause they're turned on and have a thing for you, spanish speaking reader on angel, kinda based off me, reader can be shorter or taller i really don't care

— didn't expect that out of you, by any means. you were the person who had called him to the crime scene, and since he had never really met you, he didn't expect to see that you're the one behind the call.

"There any blood?"

He meant to speak to angel, yet you answered right behind him and scaring the hell out of him.

"It's over here." He caught himself looking around, that couldn't have come from you? Could it? You had the face someone would steal a lollipop from.

"Uh..yeah, lead the way." He was so fixated on your face. Big, doe eyes your pretty soft lips parting at every 'ah..' of understandment. His mouth went dry even looking at you, why hadn't he noticed you before?

— When the two of you got together, it was very clear he had a thing for your voice. Especially whilst having sex, and he surely didn't expect your moans to be so high? Guess something made up for that pretty face of yours.

— Each time he was inside, he loved the way low groans turned into such needy and whiny moans for him. It turned him on when you talked him through, slow sex had him crumbing to you.

"Fuck..Dexter.." He thrusted inside slowly, taking in every single 'yes' and 'so good' Dexter himself wasn't at all a quiet person in bed, grunting and groaning along with you letting your own voices mix. He was so damn lucky.

— Yeah, you creeped him the fuck out.

— He wasn't one to care on people's voices, but damn did you get surgery or something? He might have called you 'kid' or something if you didn't sound like death crawling from hell itself.

— He was told to go to you for some sort of files, finding you at your desk.

"You the one I'm looking for? I need those files." He couldn't lie, his heart almost melted at the way you looked up at him. Was his voice too rough? Did he hurt your feelings? Damn.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Holy fuck.. nevermind.

— He made a rule for you not to sneak up behind him and to randomly start speaking. Scared the shit out of him when you did that.

"Right, Morgan said the victim had put up a fight before she was hit in the head, and—"

"What happened?"

"Oh my God— never again! Never do that again."

"Hm? What did I do?"

— He weirdly liked your face. Well, the cheeks of your face. If you did something dumb you would feel his fingers harshly punch at the soft skin of them. It was cute, he wouldn't lie about that. Your face stretching out as you whined for him to let go. It made his day, it really did.

— Now sex on the other hand, he would never reveal that to anyone. He was a professional, but on his own he would think of it from time to time. The way you would moan out his name, making that voice of yours crumble just from slipping the tip inside of you. His head would be on your shoulder, his own voice soft and talking you through it. He did that on purpose, so his ear would be close to your mouth. He desperately needed to hear it.

(he's so glorious i love him.)

— Debra was having another situation in which a witness couldn't speak English well, or understand it too much and he had been busy with someone else. So they called you over instead.

"Entiendo señora, haremos lo mejor que podamos pero por favor debe calmarse." Damn. He got distracted, drowning out the voice of who he was supposed to be listening to. Watching your face go into a look of understanding as the woman in the front of you hyperventilated, your voice so deep yet so calming as you rubbed her back and soothed her the best you could.

— He loved when you spoke spanish, whether it be small curses, or exclaims of excitement. He loved it all. But when you were speaking to him, he went all still. He could admire your voice from afar, yet right in front of him? No, absolutely not.

"Morning Angel," He froze up, snapping out of it quickly so he could at least muster up something back. "Yeah.." Yeah. Yeah? Was that the best he could do, jesus..

— Never had he expected to get with you. Let alone be able to fuck you. He was nervous at first. What was he supposed to do? He knew what to do, but he didn't at the same time. It was mostly a matter of being nervous rather than you being the first guy he's done it with.

"This feel good?" Paying attention to every single sound or movement you made, looking at you as if you were the light of his life. Your little 'Mhm' as he held your body close, going inside slowly and letting his hands squeeze at your hips and waist, soothing them.

"Oh, Angel.." Your accent made him shiver, his eyes fluttering shut and rolling back the more he thrusted inside. "Perfect.." He muttered, kissing your skin softly. "So perfect."

— Overtime, he would develop a weird liking to your throat. Everytime you spoke, he'd pay attention to your Adams apple and watching it bob as you spoke. He just wanted to choke you.

— Though first hearing you, he didn't know whether or not to be surprised or turned on. He found you weirdly unique, obsessed with your voice and always gave you reasons to talk. He would learn about your interest, just to make you talk even more.

"Oh, and my favorite actor had played in this movie and I feel as if.." and blah, blah, blah..

"Mhm..yeah,"

— He was listening, he swore it! And if he wasn't listening he had gotten some sort of recorder, just so he make use of it later on.

His cock leaked the more he moved his hand up and down. Trying to force himself to be quiet enough so that he could hear your voice clearly.

"Fuck.." Imagining you riding him, moaning like you depended on riding him and like you absolutely needed him. Voice wavering to whimpers and high moans— hell, he needed that so badly.

— Next day, he'd face you like nothing happened. Greeting you with a smile as you walked through the station.

"Morning Rudy!"

"Morning.."

[peanutalergy]

Saw you asking for requests^^ been thinking about spencer and his fear of dogs, what about reader who had a dog before they met and the dog like, saved her from some sort of assault so shes obviously very attached. The dog is really well trained and stuff, but hes still a bit afraid of it?

Idk i just see cat dad spence all the time and i love dogs sooo

tags: fluff, established relationship, bau!reader, I totally pictured this as early season spencer, mentions of death related to dog attacks

w/c: 1k

a/n: I'm so so so insanely sorry for having taken so long to do this req and also for not having posted much recently, school's been killing me and I'm just not doing too well, but whatever I'm sorry. also I don't know if this is exactly what you meant sorry if it's not. ALSO I've never had a dog before, so I'm sorry if this is out of... character... for the... dog..?

“why have i never been to your apartment?” your boyfriend asks as you walk out the bullpen, having just made plans to drive you both to his, “you're over at my place all the time, but you've never let me come over. why is that?”

“i have a dog, spence.” you answer, wrapping a hand around his arm and leaning your head on his shoulder as soon as the elevator doors close in front of you.

“i've seen the fur all over your sweaters, i know you do. why would that be a problem?”

“she's a hundred pound rottweiler and you were scared of petting a baby golden retriever a while ago.”

“i wasn't scared. i was just… careful. do you know how many accidents happen each year because of poorly trained large dogs?”

“that poor puppy clearly wouldn't have been able to hurt you if he tried his very best. you were scared.”

“people really shouldn't trust puppies as much as they do. they're rarely ever as well trained as adult dogs can be, and their size doesn't–”

“that's why i didn't think you should meet cupcake, honey.” you cut him off gently with a small chuckle.

“she's named cupcake?”

“yeah, like, formally. but we just call her baby or something, no one does the full name.”

“you do realize that dog is able to kill you at any given point, right? rottweilers are one of the most dangerous dog breeds in the world. she's almost your size, and her name is cupcake?”

you look at him with a smile as you start walking towards the parking lot, “i could also kill you at any given point. doesn't mean i can't be cute like that.”

“you couldn't kill me with your teeth like a dog could.”

“don't be silly, sweetheart. she's the biggest sweet little baby in the world. she'd never kill me or anyone i don't seem to not trust.”

“oh, so you do think it's okay for me to meet her?”

“well, no, i didn't say that. she wouldn't attack you, i just think you'd be scared for your life.”

“i wouldn't. i'm not scared, i won't be. please, i want to meet her.”

before you can deny again, he looks at you with those big, brown, pleading eyes, and a pout to which you can't say no, that face that scares you if you think about what it could get you to do.

with a roll to your eyes as you get into the car, you start telling him the directions to your apartment—he already knew and remembered them from when he'd pick you up or drop you off and you'd never let him in, but he wouldn't point that out when you'd cut off what you were talking about to say oh, take the left right here.

even though you want to not like this, to not want him to be in a situation you know he's fearful of, you can't help but find it heartwarming. spencer reid, your favorite man, meeting your favorite girl, in your apartment, your favorite place, for the very first time.

it's exciting, and it only got more so when you start telling him about how and when and where and why you got cupcake, and all the funny or sweet things she does.

“how do you even sleep with a dog that big?” he asks with a chuckle after you tell him about how cuddly she is.

“uncomfortably so.”

────୨ৎ────

turning your key on the lock, cupcake's excitement is audible from outside, her long nails hitting the floor as she walks around in front of the door and pants loudly, waiting for you to come in.

as soon as you're inside, the poor dog is running up to you, trying to lick kiss all over your face when you kneel down in front of her to pet her. meanwhile, spencer stands in the hallway, awkwardly clutching his bag strap as he watches you and the dog in visible fear.

“come in, sweetheart.” you say to him while you laugh, not looking back at him, but knowing he's afraid of walking in, “she won't even mind you, i swear.”

almost falling back as you get attacked by her kisses before you stand up and turn to look at him, she sits at your feet while you pat her head and give him a smile.

despite you pretending not to be bothered by it, some part of you is, too, now actually scared of your dog lashing out and attacking him like he said she would. she's always been so sweet to your friends when you have girl nights, but just like her mother (you), she doesn't trust men.

spencer takes a careful step toward the door, and when she notices his presence, cupcake stares at him for a moment during which you're foolishly convinced she's about to jump at him.

however, when you look down at her with a smile and take his hand as he walks in, she immediately relaxes and it's clear that whatever threat she saw coming from him isn't there anymore. within a second, she's at his legs, panting again as she begs for his own attention.

almost stumbling over her, he walks into the apartment completely so that you can close the door, and he chuckles as she follows him to the couch, “i'm suprised she hasn't started barking yet.”

you go to sit down next to him after locking the door, but cupcake takes your spot at his left before you can even try it. instead, you sit at his other side with a scoff after he mumbles, “dogs never like me like this.”

he awkwardly gives her the pats she's so desperately begging for, petting her head in the same way a kid sits at the oven and tries to cook something while mom watches so no one gets burnt, “well, she's never really liked any man before, so i'm surprised, too.”

“i've never had any sort of animal be so eager about me before.” he mutters as you lie your head on his shoulder.

you let out a small hum in response, giving one side of her face gentle scratches as he does the same to the other side.

“she trusts you because she knows i do, i guess.” you say after a beat, looking at the two of them with a small smile, “loves you almost as much as her mommy does.”

he glances back at you with a flustered chuckle, shaking his head before looking back at the dog who's just laid her own head on his lap.

“and she seems to see you as her daddy, now, so...” you add softly with another quiet giggle, “i'm afraid you'll have to become a pet dad, as well.”

“mm, not complaining”

after that day, it was only a matter of time before he moved in with you two, and from then on, you weren't the only one cursed with the fur-filled sweaters, and he became a bit less afraid of all the other large animals he was previously terrified of.

[lurkingshan]

I am all caught up and I really love this drama. Multi-generational family epics never seem to be super popular on here, but I gobble them up every single time, especially when they're this well made.

I love the generations of mothers and daughters in this story. Each mother-daughter pair has a complex relationship, love and respect and resentment all tangled up. The way they hurt each other but also give each other a reason to strive feels so real. Each mother wants her daughter to live a better life than her own, and every daughter wants to realize that dream while also struggling with the pressure. I appreciate the time the drama spends on these relationships, and how the memory of Ae-sun's mother in particular propels so much of her choices that reverberate through her own daughter's life.

I love the romance, especially because it's not all shiny and happy. This is a love story between two impoverished kids doing their best to survive and build the life they want for themselves with very little means to actually do so. Their loyalty to each other and their bond forged in the hardships of their early years gives them a strong foundation to weather life's various storms. It's not a story about a passionate affair or destined soulmates; it's two regular people who chose each other to be teammates for whatever life throws at them. I find that kind of love just as moving as the swoony variety, if not more. The steadfast nature of their commitment, and the way they choose to protect each other every time, is touching.

I love the sense of community in this story, as well, and especially the group of haenyeos that look after Ae-sun after her mother's death. They don't have much power as impoverished women themselves, but they try to do what they can to protect and help her and honor her mother's wishes. And the drama doesn't shy away from the ugly parts of this kind of small and small-minded community, either, and all the shame and social stigma heaped on a woman of Ae-sun's (lack of) status. In her youth, Gwan-sik is truly the only thing standing between her and ruin, and people are cruel to her for no reason other than they can be. Even so, most of them are not painted as evil, but rather as flawed humans who are also struggling and misplacing their rage and anxiety. It's an empathetic portrayal of a lot of complex class and social dynamics, and it's really well done.

[un-fwuit-un-fwog]

Basic prompt but the pc saving Kalim life some how or helping him just because it's the right thing to do. Kalim struggles to process the pc saved him but also turns down a reward. They tell him they did it because their friends. Que a heart to heart where it sinks in to Kalim the pc is that genuine.

HELLO?! THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING AND FUN REQUEST?!?!?!

Note: . . .what does pc mean? I got a request with it and thought it was a typo at first but then I got more, and I have a feeling y'all aren't talking about a computer. Y'all really got me feeling old (/it's funny to me tho to feel like a 19yo grandma)

(Note Note: I came back to this after a few weeks (I'm busy, okay?!). . .does pc mean playable character?)

Summary: You save Kalim from getting nailed by a spelldrive disk and have to explain to him that acts of kindness from friends don't need monetary compensation. (Kalim x Reader)

It wasn't anything big, or it wasn't to you at least. A spelldrive disc had been hurtling at Kalim's head and you simply pushed him out of the way (you knew how bad those things hurt (once you woke up from them knocking your lights out that is)). It was a simple gesture: just a nice thing to do.

But, to Kalim? You were a saint that needed to be rewarded immediately. He insists that you take a cash reward as compensation for saving his life, but you refuse (and sevens know you could use the money).

Kalim initially thinks you're joking or being polite when you refuse, but he soon realizes that isn't the case. "What?" he gapes, his eyes the size of saucers.

"No, thank you. I was just being nice. I don't need a reward for that." as you repeat your words, you notice Kalim shaking his head.

"Still! A lot of things people get rewards for are from being nice! Like finding and returning a lost cat!"

Your brow quirks and an amused smile creeps onto your face, "Yeah, but in that situation the two parties aren't usually friends." It was clear from the look on Kalim's face that something about what you were saying wasn't clicking.

The smile slowly fades from your face as you speak, "You know that you don't have to pay friends for just being nice right? For just helping you out?"

He's quiet for a moment, his face scrunched up in contemplation, "Cater and Lilia have said stuff like that after they help me with something, but it's usually just something like explaining homework."

It's then that it clicks for you that Kalim has probably never actually had a friend other than Jamil help him out with something significant before, and Jamil is on his family's payroll. Kalim grew up sheltered in an environment where everyone who was kind to him was paid by his father to do so.

Your hands reach to gently cup his. This time, you speak in a softer, more definite tone: like you're explaining a homework problem, "Friends help each other out because they're friends and because they care for each other. They don't do it because you pay them to."

A mix between distress and disbelief cross Kalim's face.

"Jamil doesn't count" you add: assuming that's what he was upset over. "You can be friends with someone who works for you."

He remains silent for a moment, his face keeping that same, odd expression. "Oh." is all he says when he finally does speak. Despite what many believe, Kalim isn't stupid. He's naive in certain situations, but that's only because he's much too experienced in the harsher realities of life. This is to say, he's competent enough to realize that your words are not too subtly insinuating that most of the people who have done acts like the one you just did for him weren't being genuine. They weren't his friends.

Unable to think so something to say that would ease his pain, you do all you know to and offer him a hug. You open your arms with a soft, inquisitive look, and Kalim collapses into you like a runner exhausted after a marathon.

No tears leave his eyes, nor sobs his mouth, but you can tell by the way his body lays limp against yours that he's not okay. There's nothing you can say to him. His worldview just got shattered. That takes time no amount of words can compensate for to heal.

So you hold him. You keep the pieces of him that chip off and crack away held firmly together in your embrace.

And you keep holding him. You will continue to hold him until he's ready to pick his pieces back up on his own again.

When he is, he'll have you, one of his first real friends there by his side.

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[sanguineterrain]

Hey, I love your writing, your Jason fics are always so tender and authentic

I was wondering if you would write something where Reader is pulled aside by someone and asked whether they're in danger (since Jason is pretty big and intimidating) and later they laugh it off because they find it absurd but it gets to Jason and perhaps brings some insecurities to the surface

this is actually devastating!!! thank you for requesting 🤌

jason todd x gn!reader. tw: wrongly assumed abuse and jason being gutted at the idea, hurt/comfort, reassurance, estab relationship.

****

"Chocolate is obviously superior."

Jason sighs, flopping against the diner booth dramatically. "What a shame to be so wrong. Vanilla stays on top."

"Vanilla is boring as hell, Jay," you say, throwing your napkin at him. He catches it. Of course. "On the milkshake hierarchy, vanilla is barely a step above whatever monstrosity a peppermint bark shake is."

"Buddy, I happen to like drinking toothpaste." He points a finger at you. "And that's my God-given right."

"It's an abomination is what it is." You take a long, pointed sip of your shake. "Mm, the taste of good choices."

Jason traps both of your legs between his under the table. You gasp and try to wiggle free, but his strength is merciless.

"If it's an abomination, why is it on the menu?" he asks, grinning as you squirm.

"Well, what else are they meant to serve you freaks?"

Jason gently tugs you forward by your legs. He leans over the table. You meet him halfway.

"This freak appreciates the thought," he says and kisses you.

He tastes like vanilla shake. It's not what you'd order, but you really don't mind kissing it off of Jason's mouth. Funny how that works.

He pulls away and releases your legs, then scoots out of the booth.

"Gonna take care of business. Don't drink my incredibly irresistible shake."

"I'll certainly try," you say, looking up at him with what are undoubtedly giant heart eyes.

Jason disappears to the restrooms. You drink your shake and focus on trying to craft the straw wrapper into a snake.

You're close to shaping it when a woman comes up to your table. You've never seen her in your life.

"Uh, hi," you say. "Can I help you?"

She glances around the diner before leaning down.

"Hey. Look, if you're... in need of someplace safe, there's a great shelter downtown."

Your brows rise. "I'm sorry?"

"I was in your shoes once too," she says, eyes wide. "You don't have to rely on a guy to get you on your feet. Especially someone like him."

You shake your head slowly. "I... what? I don't understand. The man I'm with, he's my boyfriend."

She looks skeptical. You turn to face her fully, because now you're properly bewildered.

"Uh, I appreciate that you're looking out for people, and I know stuff you're referring to is everywhere in Gotham. But I promise I'm okay."

"I know physical intimidation is scary—"

"Whoa." You hold up a hand. "Just because he's a big guy doesn't mean he's throwing me around. He's the gentlest man you'll ever meet. I love him and he loves me. No one is in danger."

The woman's mouth pinches. You don't even have it in you to be upset. You've never once felt afraid of Jason. But you forget how he looks to others, how he's twice or triple most people's size and covered in scars.

"Here's the number to the shelter," she says, slipping the paper under the salt shaker. "In case you change your mind."

She hurries out the door before you can respond. You stare at the card, then shrug. You suppose, if anything, you're happy there are still good Samaritans in Gotham.

Presently, Jason returns. He purposely makes his footsteps heard because of the countless times you've lectured him about scaring the shit out of you due to his habit of going stealth mode without realizing.

"Hello, dearest," he says. "I've returned from war."

"My hero. Did you wash your hands in battle?"

Jason slides into the booth and sticks his hand in your face. "Smell 'em and rejoice, baby."

You take his hand and give it a deep sniff. It indeed smells like soap. Not that you ever doubted your boyfriend's handwashing capabilities.

"Smells like... wrong opinions about milkshakes," you say, then kiss his palm.

He rolls his eyes. "I can see my absence has taught you nothing. Unfortunate."

"I'm stubborn. I'm sure you of all people can understand that," you say, smiling.

"Mm. Y'lucky you're cute."

Your food arrives, the waitress cheerily informing you that she hopes you enjoy your meal.

"I think she's the happiest person in Gotham," Jason says, shaking the ketchup bottle.

You take a fry from his plate. "Probably a Metropolis native."

"Y'know my fries are the exact same as yours, right?"

"Nope," you say. "Yours have special boyfriend cooties on them. Adds flavor."

"You're gross," Jason says, quite lovingly.

You make a heart with your hands. He returns it, then takes a bite of his burger.

You don't even register it when Jason grabs the salt shaker. You're zeroed in on your lunch and don't look up until he speaks.

"What's this?"

Jason's holding the shelter hotline card.

"Oh! Some lady came over and gave that to me."

"Gave it to you?"

You should clock Jason's tone and the way he's stopped eating completely. But the experience was so odd that you can't fathom Jason thinking it as anything but a mistake.

"Yeah. For some reason, she thought I was here drinking a milkshake with you against my will. Probably 'cause it's Gotham, and you're my BBB: big beefcake boyfriend. Little does she know, I'm the heavyweight boxing champion of Park Row."

You swirl your fries in Jason's ketchup. He doesn't even blink. Usually, he'd give you a raised eyebrow and pretend he's cross.

Jason's still staring at the card. You catch his legs with yours. He doesn't look up.

"Jay?" you ask, smile fading. You drop your legs. "Hey. Y'good?"

"Hm? Oh. Sorry, baby." He puts the card aside and smiles at you, quick and strained.

"Everything okay?" you ask.

"Yeah. Uh, fine."

"Jason." You lean over and grab his hand. "What's wrong?"

He swallows. You wait, the noise of the diner fading. All that matters is whatever's causing his absolutely heartbreaking expression.

"How could she think I'm hurting you?" Jason whispers, finally looking at you. "How could—I would never hurt you."

"Oh, Jay. Honey, that's why I hardly entertained her. It was so silly to think about. I was so puzzled at first that I couldn't even decipher what she meant."

"But what if... y'know, maybe she sensed something about me. Sensed violence. I get it. I'd–I'd be scared of me if I were a regular person."

"Jason, sweetie, no. No, no, no. I think that woman experienced some hard things in her life, and that caused her to see something that wasn't there. She had good intentions, but she was absolutely wrong. I know you have a past, but I've never felt unsafe with you. Never. I could never be afraid of you."

Jason gnaws on the inside of his cheek. You get up and slide in next to him, crowding him against the wall. You curl against his arm.

"You love me so well, I forget that most people see a monster when I walk down the street," he says.

You squeeze your eyes closed. Pins in your heart.

"You're not a monster, Jay. You're good. I know it. Your family knows it. You're a protector."

He takes a deep breath. "If–if you ever felt afraid of me, ever, and you wanted me to stay away, then you tell me so, and I'd leave you alone. No questions asked."

"Jason," you whisper. You wrap your arm around his neck and pull him close. The vinyl squeaks as you shift. "Jay, I love you. I don't want you to leave me alone."

"But if—"

"No. Please listen to me. I know you'd never hurt or frighten me. Sometimes, people are wrong. She was wrong about you. She was kind but wrong."

You sit like that for a bit, feeling each other breathe. Jason's hand grazes yours. You grab it, lacing your fingers together.

"I love you too," he says quietly. "Never felt anything but love for you."

You smile and steal another fry off his plate. He snorts.

"I know." You lean against his shoulder. "Never doubted it."

[sokkastyles]

The idea that zutara is unhealthy because of it being based on shared trauma is just fundamentally wrong.

There is something very ugly in pathologizing shared trauma and trying to label it as bad. Shared trauma allows victims to name their experiences, to say "it happened to me, too."

It allows us to say "this shouldn't have happened."

It allows us to say "maybe you can heal. Maybe we both can."

This is what the scene between Zuko and Katara in the crossroads of destiny does. It allows both Katara and Zuko to speak about their trauma in ways they never have before. In ways they haven't been allowed to before. Zuko because abuse conditioned him to believe it was normal, and Katara because she believed she had to replace her mother, so had no time to grieve her.

They have a moment of connection that is powerful and intense, and perhaps you could say that it gives them both a false impression of closeness. Katara ends up getting hurt because she felt close to Zuko and put her faith in him, and he betrayed that faith. Because he wasn't really in a position to promise her anything to begin with.

However, the story doesn't end there.

Katara tries to tell herself that the closeness she felt with Zuko wasn't real. She literally tries to say he was only "pretending," although the real reason for her anger is that she knows he wasn't. That moment was real, and powerful. And it's what brings them together again. It's what causes Zuko to seek her out, to make amends.

It's also scary. Katara is angry at Zuko because he KNOWS he's a human being capable of mistakes. It's not how bad he is that worries her, it's his capacity for goodness. Because that means it was actually there all along, but he still chose wrong. That's made clear when she confronts him when they're alone.

It was real, and that's what's scary about it.

"And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me."

If that moment in the caves really meant nothing, why does Zuko take it to heart when Katara says he betrayed her?

Because it meant more to them than both of them realized.

That's why the resolution between them at the end of the Southern Raiders means more than forgiveness. It means the recognition of yourself in someone else. The ability to name what happened to you and say that it can be defeated.

Of course anything can be unhealthy if you subject it to the most bad faith potential scenarios, but the thing about zutara is that it actually addresses the initial false bond created by trauma and then has both characters come out the stronger for it, both in their relationship to each other, and themselves. What happens in canon is the most healthy outcome for both characters in that kind of situation. It could be used as the quintessential example of two people bonding over shared trauma in the most healthy way.

But even if it wasn't, it's still shitty to try and pathologize the idea of shared trauma because of some vague fear that it might be imposing on someone. That's such a puritanical and harmful view of trauma and psychology, let alone a ridiculous thing to say about shipping discourse.

In fact, I seem to remember tumblr having the "is it wrong to romanticize trauma" discourse years ago. It was stupid then, and it still is. Especially in a context which is all about the healing power of shared trauma. Both figuratively and literally.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

"Slut!"

Pairing - Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader Summary - It was perfect. Lovelorn and nobody knows. Love thorns all over this rose. You almost forgot just how hard the fall back to reality is. But if they call you a slut, it might be worth it for once.

Steve Rogers Masterlist | Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist

"She goes through guys like a train-"

You immediately change the channel. The next one isn't better. You don't know why you thought it would be.

"The Stark last name and the long list of ex-lovers, that's her claim to fame. I mean, let's be honest here, she's a slu-" The tabloid reporter is abruptly cut off as the screen before you goes dark.

You look up to find Steve with the remote in his hand. He glares at the screen like the reporter was still talking, "You shouldn't be watching that."

"I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be. It's despicable. They were - the things they're calling you-"

"A slut," you finish for him.

His eyes dart to you, that furrow between his eyebrows getting deeper and deeper with every word spoken, "It's not true. This isn't journalism, it's slander."

You weren't sure how this happened. Sure, it was only a matter of time before they found you out. This wasn't the first time. Not the second or the third either. If the press was to be believed, you were love sick. Love struck with a new man every week.

It wasn't the first time someone called you a slut. It certainly wouldn't be the last.

You stopped living your life in fear of what people would say a long time ago. Being this young was an art. And up until now, you thought you mastered it.

It was simple. You even had your rules. You followed them and no one got hurt - or at the very least, it minimized the damage.

They were going to stare at you. Strangers. Press. The flashing cameras. It came with being a Stark. If they're going to look, you gave them something to look at. You didn't so much as step out on the street with a single hair out of place. You were flawless. Always.

You were nineteen, and on the heels of a breakup with your second ever boyfriend, the first time someone spit that word at you - "slut!" It hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as you thought it would. It almost made you laugh. You realized that they didn't really care about your love life or about the trail of broken hearts you were supposedly leaving behind. They wanted a spectacle. They wanted a show. If you're going to be drunk, might as well be drunk in love.

It was easier after that. You knew the truth. The people around you knew the truth. You let everyone else believe what they wanted. You did what you wanted. You lived your life without worrying about being called a slut. They were going to call you one anyway. And if they call you a slut, you might as well make it worth it.

You gave just enough to keep them satisfied. Never anything too real. Never too much. Just enough that they wouldn't dare peak behind closed doors. Just enough to be able to live your life.

There were was a cost, of course. No one took you seriously. You dealt with the vague humiliation of the rumors constantly swirling about your hips and thighs and whispered sighs.

And though you inherited the Stark genius, no one cared about what you thought, what you had to say.

In that, the reporter was right, your love life was far more interesting than your thoughts on quantum mechanics or the military industrial complex. That was what you were known for.

For the most part, you were okay with it. You were willing to pay it all.

That was until you fell in love with Steve Rogers. Suddenly, you weren't willing to give them crumbs. You weren't willing to expose a love that felt this delicate.

You sit on the couch, huddled in your sweatpants, pensively staring at the blank screen.

This time, it was different. This wasn't a show, not a spectacle. It was real, an exposed nerve that the world decided was fair game. You were fair game and it was open season.

Steve settles beside you, draping an arm around your midsection. He kisses your temple, "Tony thinks it's probably best that you lay low for a while."

"Yes, well, my brother is the expert on PR damage control."

It wasn't the same though. You both knew it. Tony had done far worse with far more women. Yet, he would never pay the price you were paying in this very moment.

Steve's arms tighten around you like he's shielding you from the storm, "It's not right. It's not fair that you're being forced to sequester yourself. You're being punished but what exactly was your crime?"

"I fell in love with Steve Rogers, that was my crime." You fell for the man everyone wanted, the man who was in the wrong place at the right time.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against the crown of your head.

"For what?"

"You warned me this would happen."

It was true. You told him exactly what would happen, but even you didn't anticipate exactly how bad things would get.

You'd been with Steve for just under a year. And up until a week ago, only a select few knew. You both agreed to keep it a secret from the public. You felt protective over the love you shared, it was more real than anything else you'd ever had. You wanted to keep it to yourself, out of the hands of people that would tear you both to shreds without a second thought.

Steve felt the same. Though he was more worried about the enemies he made over the years.

It made sense to protect the relationship, to protect yourselves until you were both ready. You wanted to protect him from what you knew was lurking around the corner. Steve was still so new to the 21st century. Dating in the public eye wasn't easy. Dating a Stark wasn't easy. For almost an entire year, you used every publicity trick in the book - and it worked.

But then, you heard it, the whispers, rumors bubbled about your newest future ex-lover.

You only agreed to going public because everyone told you it was time, because they promised that the timing couldn't have worked out better than this. It was better to do this on your own terms than have it leaked.

No one knew how bad it would get.

"Are you sure? There's no going back after this," you whisper, standing in the hallway of your apartment. You could practically hear the cameras flashing outside your apartment. You'd never been this nervous to leave your apartment before. You'd been through the plan a million times. You'd be exposed to the cameras for a matter of seconds. Happy was already waiting with the door to your SUV open, ready for you to jump in. You'd walk outside holding Steve's hand - a sort of silent announcement to the world. "It won't be easy."

"I don't care," Steve promises, kissing the palm of your hand. "I'm tired of hiding. I'm proud to call you mine."

You tenderly stroke his cheek, "And if it blows up in your pretty face?"

He smiles down at you, "You're worth it."

"We'll pay the price, I guess." But deep down, you know. You'll pay the price, he won't.

The cameras had never been that loud before. Even though your announcement went off without a hitch, even though your publicist couldn't have been more pleased, not even they could have predicted how bad things would get.

It seemed like the whole world was calling you that four letter word.

At first, it was mostly online. People were mean, you knew that. You were prepared for nasty comments. Steve's most staunch supporters thought he could do better. People rejoiced in the spectacle your love life turned into. You were a laughing stock all over again. All that you were prepared for. Then some rabid fans leaked your phone number.

You decided that it would be a good time to disconnect anyway.

But it didn't end there. Not even close.

The day after you were expected to make an appearance for a charity you founded. It was just a quick 2 minute speech. And though the event had been throughly vetted, you'd never forget the way your blood ran cold when mid-sentence someone screamed that four letter word over and over again until security dragged them out. You continued until your speech was done, but there was no hiding the way your hands trembled.

From what you heard, the video was still making its rounds online.

You were expected to make an appearance two days after that. An event honoring your father. An event you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into to make sure it was impeccable, an event worthy of honoring your father. The same event you were practically uninvited from.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's just me. I come in peace," Tony jokes.

"I'm glad," you sigh. "I was worried I was going to have to get another number."

Tony sighs into the phone, "How are you holding up?"

"I've been better."

"I'm afraid I don't come bearing good news."

"What now, Tony?"

"That event you had Friday night, the one for dad?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose. You already knew were this was going. "What about it?"

"They want me to take over for you."

You bitterly scoff, "This week just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"

"You say the word and I'll tell them to fuck off."

"No, don't do that. It's for dad."

"You planned this whole thing single-handedly. You deserve to be the one up there." You don't say a word. He's right, you both know it. It doesn't change the situation you've been put in. "You are still going, right? Come on, you have to go."

"They broke into my house, Tony."

"What? Are you okay?"

"Happy just told me," you explain, sparing Tony the most gory details. "The one in L.A. Apparently, it is now covered in spray paint. You wanna guess what they wrote?"

"Where was your security?" Tony demands.

"Here. Trying to keep people off my sidewalk."

"I'm so sorry."

"I just - I don't think it's a good idea. At least until I get more security."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad you've got Steve there. At least I know he'll keep you safe."

You almost smile. Tony was never his biggest fan, but you mostly credit that to him being an overprotective big brother. And the situation you'd found yourself in did nothing to win Tony's over good graces, "It's not his fault, Tony."

"It kinda is, but I digress. Listen, we'll figure this out, alright? I'll go streak in front of the Tower if that'll take some heat off of you."

And though you effectively doubled your security in the last two days, nothing would change anyone's mind about you. You were the villain tainting their hero.

You broke down after that call, violently sobbing against Steve's shoulder. He just pulled you in even tighter.

It reminds you of why you're doing all this. So you can be together, out in the open. That in a world of boys, he's a gentleman.

You squeeze his hand, "You're worth it."

"I'm not worth having your reputation torn to shreds."

And maybe they're right about you. Maybe you do get love struck. Maybe his eyes are like the world's strongest liquor, and it went straight to your head. Maybe you do get love sick. Sure, your life has momentarily fallen apart. It's magic, madness, heaven, and sin, all rolled into one. But if they're going to call you a slut, it might be worth it for once. "But what if all I need is you?"

Steve Rogers Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

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[elixrr]

Valentines Day：Stages of Love!

STAGES：how they fell in love (1), them as they pin for you (2), how they plan the confession (3), their confession (4)

ft：GAMING (1.8k words), WANDERER (2k words)

FIC：fluffy headcanons + their confession to you in dialogue!｜day 1 of my late valentines event...

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ “You received some mail...”

➥ “...Read it?”

— ➢ GAMING：

STAGE 1 - how he fell in love with you.

➥ It was spontaneous, really. It didn’t really occur to him at the time, but you had your kamera out, and you were taking photos of the scenery around you two. The day started out as a simple hangout between two friends– two best friends. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, either. You went around Qiaoying village, checking out the stalls and simply having a good time in each other's company, until you went on a small little raft with him. Sailing the lakes of Liyue, you took pictures of Teyvat's golden hour, and Gaming couldn't help but stare; he watched your light and serene smile while taking and printing photos to keep for yourself and give to him. As previously mentioned, it didn't occur to him at first, but there was a swelling in the beat of his heart, Gaming nearly thought he was sick, but he wasn't. He tore his eyes away once, and they automatically dragged back to you, like his eyes were your loyal puppy, always wanting to see you and be by your side.

Eventually, it wasn’t just his eyes that longed for you.

You were admirable in his eyes, it seemed. After the hangout, the feelings continued to linger in his heart. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, a smile broke into his expression– a little brighter than usual– and he couldn't bring himself to sleep that night. Tossing and turning in his sheets, but not from a nightmare. Gaming was horribly confused; why was he feeling like this? A slight burning feeling simmered within; if only he could hold you right at this moment.

That's when it hit. And it hit hard.

STAGE 2 - how he's pining for you.

➥ Gaming's crush on you became more persistent. He's heard a story or two from his friends and how crushes typically lasted between a few weeks to three months, and any longer than that would just mean they're head over heels. So, not wanting to push anything that could hurt later, he waited patiently— or, at least, he tried to wait as patiently as he could. Patience was something that he eventually lost. Eventually, as in, he was stripped of nearly all of his patience after the first week. Gaming was never the type to get super jealous, he loved people— he still does— and it shines in how extroverted and eccentric he is, but sometimes when you spoke to people and seemed to have more fun with them than you did with him, he would get... Rather insecure. He once asked you if you were getting bored of him, and he was immediately proven wrong.

After the span of three months was over, he still found himself head over heels for you. It chilled out a little more, he can control how he acts again, but everyone notices that extra jump in his step, the extra sparkles in his eyes when you draw near, and especially the slightly larger smile he carries around with him before hanging out with you, while hanging out with you, and just a little after he hung out with you. Gaming was adorable with how smiley he became with you around, and when you brought it up, he became really flustered. If you catch onto things easily, then you probably figured out that he likes you. If not, then don't worry because he's going to plan to confess.

Though, it takes almost a full year of having a crush on you for him to realize that he needs to confess.

There was indeed a time when Gaming thought he was going to lose his chances. You and Chongyun grew closer. Gaming didn't know Chongyun that well, but you introduced him to the small little hangouts. Gaming was fine at first, but once he was called over by one of his relatives during a stroll around Qiaoying Village. By the time he could get back to you two, you were having the time of your life, and Chongyun seemed ecstatic. Gaming knew that he had issues with his yang energy, hence why he was so composed half of the time, but to see him breaking out of that composure with you? Gaming stopped in his tracks that day. He followed behind the two of you but didn't bother to let either of you know. Of course, with a swell in his heart when you noticed him first, you brought him back into the conversation. Though, he was quieter. He was a little duller than he usual. Where did his smile go? Where did his bright, sparkly eyes go? What about that spring in his step every time you spoke to him? It's not that he lost interest in you. No, it's that he thought you were losing interest in him. Eventually, he realized that he should probably ask Chongyun if he liked you. That question took weeks to muster the courage up for.

When he got around to asking and he learned that you and Chongyun were just really chill friends, all of the spring, spark, and smile that he lost all came back to him. But now the question stood tall.

Did you even like him back?

He was advised by Chongyun and Xinqiu to confess, and that's when all of the planning began.

STAGE 3 - him planning the confession.

➥ Chongyun and Xinqiu were kind enough to help Gaming with his confession. The original plan was for him to just serenade you during a romantic ride on those bamboo rafts, but Chongyun worried for the third wheeling boatman, so they all devised a plan for the giddy Gaming. Gaming will ask you to ride a raft with him, and Xinqiu will dress up so that you wouldn't recognize him. He'll also be there for the friendly wingman support. Chongyun will have the area feel colder but won't freeze the lake itself. Even while Gaming cringed at the whole idea, Xinqiu and Chongyun agreed to it. It's too romantic to pass up, Gaming giving you his hoodie when you're cold in supposedly warm weather is too good to become a lost opportunity. The plan, after a few hours of playing cards, eating dim sum, and snacking on winter melon cakes, was set. When the weather's good, Gaming will take you out on a boat ride as per usual, but there's suddenly an expensive price for a boat ride. Before you can even think to take your wallet out, he'll whip out some mora and give it to the disguised Xinqiu, plus an extra tip. Then, Xinqiu will use a mini music box that he received from his Fontanian friend, and some cute, romantic music will play in the background. After some talking, you should be able to notice a sudden cold wind with the help of Chongyun and a wandering friend named Kazuha, then Gaming will lend you his hoodie with the excuse that he's fine and he can take the cold. This will all happen around the golden hours of Liyue, just like how it was when he first caught feelings for you, and just before sunset, Gaming will pull out a fresh Qixing by Xinqiu's area, and he'll confess. Whether or not you accept is up to you, and that alone is enough to wreck his brain.

The planning is done; the date is picked between the three, plus Kazuha's approval. All that's left is for the confession to be carried out.

STAGE 4 - the confession.

➥ Now, it was time to confess. Oh, how terrifying the thought and much more nerve-racking the feeling. Gaming met you by the river, and you looked as stunning as ever. Funnily enough, this was your usual fit, your typical and casual clothes, but something felt more different. Gaming's heart beat with love and a little nervousness. Strangely, you already had your wallet out, so on the way to the raft, Gaming was sure to keep his hand in his pocket, making sure that he had all of the mora ready for the raft payment. He kept a flowing conversation, and you, as usual, kept it cool as well. It momentarily paused when you both saw the disguised Xinqiu, but something felt off in Gaming's gut when you took his hand and lead him to the raft, which, funnily enough, was the last available raft nearby.

“Hello, my dearest friends. Would you like to ride on this fine raft?”

A smile grows on your face before Gaming can say anything.

“Yes, we'd love to.”

Your hand squeezes Gaming's tightly when you shift your gaze and smile over to him. He's distracted momentarily, blushing at the feeling of your fingers interlocking with his.

“How wonderful! That will be 10,000 mora, please.” Xinqiu politely bows with his hand out, extending towards you, and you're suddenly closer to Xinqiu to pay for the raft.

This is bad, super bad! You hand over the necessary mora to Xinqiu and wink at him, lending a hand over to help Gaming up onto the raft. You're strangely prepared for this, hell, you're even wearing... Something warm. That's. Not good. The plan isn't going the way he needs it to! Gaming watches you take the seat next to him and admire the scenery around. He's nervous, evident by how he constantly plays with his fingernails, or how his sight spills all over the place— how he flickers his eyes over to you, then to the waters beneath the gaps of the bamboo. He aligns his sight with the direction of the raft, and he watches the ripples of the water flow with the serene waters of the lake. It's calming slightly, but there's still the nervous pound in his heart.

Gaming looks back at you. You have your kamera out, and you're taking photos of the scenery with a small smile on your face. There's a bloom in Gaming's heart. He finds his gaze lingering too much onto you to notice that you've taken your own cardigan off, resting it on your lap. The Adam's apple in his throat bobs a little. He needs to confess, and it's going to happen soon— if not right now.

Your gaze falls onto him, and he nearly jumps in his seat. It's strangely quiet and rather cold. In a desperate attempt to fill the void of silence, he stutters and exaggerates a cold expression,

“It's... It's really cold now, huh? That's weird. It's awfully cold for spring!”

“In that case, here. Take my cardigan, it'll keep you warm.” You smile at him knowingly, wrapping the cardigan around the blushing, confused Gaming.

Wait, what? He was supposed to do that!

You smile at him and turn back over to the scenery around. You have your hand resting near him, and he can't help but stare at the reflection of the light lingering on your hand. It's attractive, everything about you he finds so attractive, every insecurity and every part you're proud of he takes and smiles proudly with. Gaming is deep in love with you, and it's clear as glass right now as he takes your hand in his and gently taps his thumb against your knuckle.

“Hey. So, can I... I have something to say.”

You send your undivided attention to him as he speaks. His heart pounds against his chest, and he subconsciously squeezes your hand.

“I've been thinking. We've been really close 'n cool friends for a while, don't you think?”

Darn it, Gaming, get to the point! He yells at himself, and the burn of an embarrassed blush glitters across his face.

“Listen, Gaming.” You interlock your fingers with his again, and you give him a soft, sweet smile.

“I like you, too, okay?”

And with the peck of a kiss on his cheek, a small, sudden, yet very giddy smile grew on his face. He asked for re-confirmation, and when you gave it to him, he nearly fainted on the spot with joy.

You and Gaming held hands, and a shared smile bloomed between the two of you. You leaned in for a kiss, and Gaming allowed you— but before a kiss could happen, Xingqiu interrupted with the snap of his Kamera.

You and Gaming turn around. Xinqiu smiles, taking the photo out of the kamera and hiding it behind his back, whistling as if nothing had happened.

You and Gaming realized then and there that you would thus receive the teasing of a lifetime.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ “1 new message...”

➥ “...Read it?”

— ➢ WANDERER：

STAGE 1 - how he fell in love with you.

➥ Wanderer was and is a special— very special case. He's a puppet beneath the porcelain skin; there's almost nothing under it. He's hollow, meaning he has no heart. So what would explain this strange feeling within? Nahida suggested a fondness for you through the form of love, but Wanderer thought it was impossible. He's a puppet, and not only does he lack the heart to love, but he has never loved before and certainly wouldn't now.

Of course, that simply wasn't the case.

Wanderer always felt some sort of ache when it came to you. Nahida's suggestion of fondness found itself dug into his mind rent-free, even if he fully disagreed with it. He felt like you were simply more annoying than anyone else he's ever met. Yet, there was this one time that he considered the possibility that maybe... Maybe it is love, after all.

It was his birthday, and you hung around with Nahida to surprise him. The surprise wasn't anything big, but it was nice enough to have left a stain ingrained in his memory of it. You and Nahida had baked a cake made especially for him, and the party was held at a vantage point. Funnily enough, that same day was the day where he wanted to show you this exact vantage point, but you had already discovered it first. You joked that it was simply meant to be, and a faint blush dusted Wanderer's cheeks— though, he'd never admit it to be of embarrassment or love. The birthday party, as mentioned before, wasn't that big. It was you and Nahida, but there was a particular point that had Wanderer questioning if he needed a heart at all for his "possible-and-horrible-wave-of-fondness." In his eyes, it was one thing to see his semi-savior, Nahida, all giddy and happy to be able to finally celebrate the birthday of another, but it was a whole other treat to see your smile. He found himself lingering on you for too long; he felt an ache within that longed for something— even when he tried to dismiss it, that was the beginning of his spiral of love. That longing never went away. Later that day, after you had left, Nahida would tell him how easy it was to spot, but he ignored her and went off for the night. He took himself to the highest spot of Sumeru, and he sat quietly on the branch.

You were back on his mind. Your smile, your eccentric self, while eating the cake. Everything was wonderful. You were wonderful.

You are wonderful.

A smile creept in from his teeth, accompanied by a sigh.

Wait.

You're... wonderful.

Images of your smile flashed within his mind, and that same ache and longing pinged and rang within his chest, where a human's heart could have been.

A memory of Nahida's words play in his head.

“Perhaps it is indeed a sign of your fondness for them! Humans feel it for one another, and oftentimes, they refer to the feeling as love.”

Does he love you?

The ache pounds against his chest.

Oh, for archon's sake.

Wanderer's face turned red at a thought:

He really might be in love with you.

STAGE 2 - how he's pining for you.

➥ The days and weeks after his birthday, he sought you out more than he could've ever thought he would. Sometimes, he'd run into you buying groceries at the stalls of Sumeru. Other times, you'd be sitting in a small field of flowers, and he'd be flying by. You didn't seem to mind his presence, though. Actually, evident by your smiley faces and happier expressions, you seemed to enjoy it! The thought, without realizing it, made him happier than usuaI. While it wasn't evident with a spring in his step, if you looked closer, there would be a dozen sparkles in his eyes every time he glanced your way. Except, you'd know better than to get too close. Otherwise, Wanderer would've smacked you silly.

He’s become a little softer towards you than he is with anyone else. Even with his specialty of degrading everyone around him, he can’t bring himself to be rude to you in an honest way. Any harsh comment is followed by an ache in his heart whenever he sees you either pissed or bothered, and he finds himself incapable of thinking badly of you. Strangely enough, he thinks of you more than he talks to you nowadays. It bleeds into his day-to-day schedule when he’s in the Akademiya, studying for his classes, or doing his work. Wanderer doesn't really have much to do with his days. He thinks of you during classes now, too. He's unsure if you attend classes or if you've finished school, as he's never bothered to ask, and you've never brought it up. Either way, when the lectures start becoming white noise to him, he wonders if you're also in a classroom right now, bored and thinking of whatever you think of.

If only you might be thinking of him, too.

A tiny smile breaks his bored, motionless lips. The professor goes off about the lesson, and his mind goes on about you. Wanderer couldn't care less if he missed information; he understands the material anyway. He simply wants to think of you right now.

Suddenly, the students around him shoot up from their seats, grabbing their things and head for the door, and he follows in suit with the smile wiped off of his face. As he passes through the room, a few people gawk at him, but he dismisses them. Wanderer would only allow you to gawk at him.

He left the Akademiya immediately, running off to some secluded spot where the other students wouldn’t bother him and have him snap out of his thoughts. As of late, he found himself enjoying his days a little more whenever he had some time to himself, especially when he thought of you during that snippet of time. Yet, this time, he doesn’t have to simply think of you. Walking down the path to the ground-leveled city, Wanderer saw you around the corner. You were talking to someone, but a flurry of heartbeats synced with the swirling thoughts racing through all at once. The feeling gets annoying because he basically runs into you every other day, but he acts as though he hasn’t seen you in years. There’s a sudden skip in his heart that forces him down the pathway a little faster to startle you with his approach. Wanderer always found it amusing whenever you’d jump out of your skin at his sudden appearance–

But this time was different. Wanderer stopped and stood idle.

Just why was the General Mahamatra holding your arm like that? From the angle he stood at, he couldn’t see the wound on your arm, but something shot down every ounce of excitement and confidence he had in himself. He felt cheated on, but you weren’t even dating him! Cyno notices him from the distance and lets go of your arm, almost glaring at the boy. You, following in suit, turn around to see Wanderer. Even with that fabulous feeling wasted away, Wanderer still looked at you like you were the only important person to exist. You’re graceful in the way you turn his way, but your wound catches his eye quickly. Is that why Cyno held you like that? Because he was scolding you or something? Either way, that’s what Wanderer is about to do with you. He storms over to you, enraged, worried, and ready to ravage the whole universe to find who hurt you…

And it turns out it was just some Mitachurl that you abolished soon after you had gotten hurt.

“Kuni, if you’re just so worried about me, why not stick by me more often? Besides, we run into each other basically every day now.”

“You can be my travel buddy, I guess!”

“That’s stupid.” But he’d still want to be yours.

Cyno dismisses Wanderer and gets him off of your arm, and you’re escorted elsewhere (as Wanderer glares from the distance at Cyno). He thinks for a few moments but ultimately decides to return to the Sanctuary of Surasthana to pay Nahida a little visit…

STAGE 3 - him planning the confession.

➥ Nahida, when asked, simply told Wanderer to bring you over to some nice, secluded spot and tell you how he feels. He’s been told that the confession doesn’t have to be anything big, but maybe just some nice scenery would do you both some good. Wanderer slightly hoped that Nahida would tell him not to confess, but he knows her better than that. The plan, when made, was simple: he'll ask when you're free, then he'll take you to some nice spot nearby, sit you down as he takes his seat, and he tells you how he feels. 

Now, does that sound appealing to Wanderer?

No, of course not.

Wanderer would prefer it if he just didn’t tell you at all. Feelings are awkward for him because he’s not used to romance. He’s not used to anything positive or good coming his way. Wanderer has walls of brick to seal his heart away to prevent further emotional pain. There’s no way he would tear all of that down just to be with you.

“But it’s already broken!” Nahida says with a cheeky smile, startling Wanderer.

“What?”

“Sorry,” the archon giggles, “I read your mind just now. What I mean to say is that you already trust them enough as is! The walls you’ve built have already been broken?”

“It’s still stupid, anyways. What if they don’t even reciprocate? Then what would I do?”

Nahida scratches her head a little, thinking of all of the experiences that she’s witnessed over the past two years of her freedom.

“Isn’t that what confession also determines? You let them know that they like you, and then you learn if they reciprocate or if they don’t.”

Thus, after a small debate with himself and Nahida, Wanderer decided to… Simply tell you how he feels. Shouldn’t be that hard, right? Though, when he finds himself unable to bring up a potential day to choose, Nahida asks you when you’re free, and thus the plan is initiated.

All that’s left to do is wait, prepare, and execute.

STAGE 4 - the confession.

➥ The morning of the plan arose. The break of dawn and the sunrise’s sunlight spilled across Teyvat all at once. The cold corpse of the moon faded with the blue sky, and Wanderer was all but asleep. In fact, he was frantic– panicking, not even a drop of sleep soaked into him. He’s, despite refusing to admit it, terrified of meeting you at that vantage point and possibly getting humiliated after letting his feelings pour. 

Wanderer walks out of the dorm provided by the Akademiya and takes a stroll. It’s still early, and not too many people are outside yet. The air isn’t cold, it’s less humid than usual, but it’s still cooler than usual– the slightly-frosted breeze brushing against his porcelain arms. He can’t feel the cold, but he still shivers with the pressure of what might happen.

“Kuni?” Your semi-groggy voice calls out to him. He turns around, and he feels his chest nearly explode.

“You? Why are you up so early?”

“I dunno, Nahida told me to meet up with you later today, so I wanted to go out to get you something.”

Get him something? His could’ve-been-heart pounds in his chest.

“Why did you want to meet with me anyway?” You walk over to him, meeting his pace.

“I’ll tell you later. No snooping around yet.”

“Why?” A sly, teasing smile grows on your face. “Are you going to romantically confess your undying love to me under the blissful moonlight at your favorite romance novel scenery with a slow breeze hitting us? Oh, will there be flowers for me, too?” You smirk, and Wanderer looks at you with a fake look of disgust on his face. However, at that last question, he breaks his face… Slightly.

“That’s a good idea.” He quietly blurts, thinking of possible flowers to give you.

“...What?”

“Huh? What?”

“You’re planning to–” You stammer, a red blush dusting your features.

“Wha–?"

And then Wanderer realizes what he just did.

[fairestwriting]

Hi! Hope you're doing well! I love your writing, I got so excited when I saw you're rqs were open!!!

Could i request dorm leaders w/reader who sang a break-up song while they're dating w/a happy ending? not for a performance or anything, just listening to music and singing along and a mob character passing by heard it. then suddenly there's rumors around the school saying their relationship is falling apart. the reader doesn't know. the boys don't realize that it a big misunderstanding and think that the reader might not be happy with their relationship and they desperately try to make it up to the reader.

Kind of like this one including malleus and azul https://www.tumblr.com/coralinnii/697097733985730560/singing-a-break-up-song-while-dating-feat

sry for rambling, i really love the way you write the characters, if it's too much, don't worry about! thank you!

fjfejf thank you i hope you enjoy your rq too <3 this one takes me back…. throwback sunday

(Also happy (late) valentines day everybody! i wanted to post that that on time for it but it got. so long

𐙚 Riddle Rosehearts

Ironically, you might have even shown him that song before. Riddle is pretty out of the loop, so he’s always curious about what you’re listening to. He never thought that your enjoyment of the song had anything to do with your relationship. It’s just a song, right? And at first, he thinks the exact same when the rumor arrives at him through Cater, chastising him for spreading such baseless claims.

…But it doesn’t take too long for it to get to him. And wasn’t that one of your most listened songs too? He can never remember the titles very well. His uncertainty feeds on the words of others until they make complete sense to him. If you were really happy, why would you be so obsessed with that specific song, after all? Riddle starts to pick apart his own actions, trying to find what could have made you so unhappy… And the truth is, everything is not only going well, but he probably mixed up the song from the rumor with an unrelated song you’re actually obsessed with. His entire issue is built around an impression that you’ve been secretly wallowing all this time, all due to some awful thing he’s supposedly done— Without even noticing how much he hurt you, no less.

Suddenly, when you spend time together, he’s awkwardly asking if you’re really sure that this or that is really okay, like he did when you just started dating. You ask him what’s wrong, and he quickly, awkwardly, blurts out that he heard the rumors, and he was trying to make up for his actions… And you’re just standing there, confused.

Luckily, Riddle has just enough common sense that saying his worries out loud makes him realize how frankly insane he sounds. And when he hears that he was, in fact, thinking of the wrong song, his whole face is as red as his hair. You might have to hold back some laughter as you comfort him… Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, it does feel sweet that he’s so eager to make you happy. Even if it means having to fix a huge problem he doesn’t quite understand.

𐙚 Leona Kingscholar

There’s probably no shortage of rumors about your relationship. Good ones, bad ones, and a good few that were just weird— Leona says with his full chest that he thinks they’re all a waste of time, that it was just people being bored, or jealous, or both. He does wholly believe his own words. He also remembers every single thing he hears about you two.

Similar to Riddle, his initial reaction is that the rumor is just stupid. You listening to a song meant that you wanted to break up with him? Really? People must be running out of things to say, if they’re fixating on something so meaningless… And yet, he can’t keep himself from getting the urge to watch you more closely when you’re together.

Leona will die before he actually admits this rumor ever got to him, really. Even the people he overheard talking about it said it kind of seemed like a reach. He’s not about to start a conversation about it, or even openly express that some stupid bit of gossip had him so worried— But he still feels the need to watch. Do you get bored when you’re just sitting nearby while he’s supposedly sleeping? Do you look uncomfortable when he comes closer? Questions like that come up in his mind.

The answer, of course, is that you don’t. And that’s the end of it… or at least he wants to believe that. The rumor won’t come up unless you mention it, he just randomly comes off just a little softer than usual. It’d be hard for anyone to make the connection, surely Leona wouldn’t get that affected by something so silly, he said it was stupid himself. And yet, it’s still hard to miss how he visibly relaxes when you confirm that’s how you thought.

𐙚 Azul Ashengrotto

There’s all sorts of rumors going around about Azul himself, but they’re mostly just long debates on whether it’s worth getting involved with his deals or not. That’s easy enough to ignore when he has people coming in and out of the Lounge everyday. People who complain were just mad about the consequences they faced due to not reading the fineprint and all that.

This self awareness doesn’t help that much when the rumor comes to his attention, though. He’ll comment about how childish the people gossiping about you were to whoever tells him the news, but his words are hollow. Logic is already in the process of leaving his brain, entirely skipping over how ridiculous the whole thing was. It’s sudden enough to hit him with every mistake he might have made like a truck. The office door is slammed shut and locked so he go insane in peace. The thought of rumors themselves are what stands out the most. That had to be what drove you over the edge, right? Someone must have told you terrible things about him, and now you were miserable and confused and— And then he’s calling you, urgently asking for you to give him a chance to explain himself.

The whole “song” part of the rumor might as well not exist anymore. You ask him what this was all about, and he’s going on and on about how he swears whatever you heard about him wasn’t actually that bad and how he’s sorry that you’re getting caught up in all of this mess. You have no idea what it’s all about. It takes a bit of a back and forth for him to realize this. Then he’s just silent. And on instinct, as the realization hits him, he just hangs up, mortified.

You leave to go see him in person, worried or confused or amused or all of the above. You knock on his door, asking him what was up, what rumors he was talking about, he’s too embarrassed to answer for a bit. When he finally does, he looks at you so guiltily, you might even expect he’s about to make a serious confession— It does take a little effort not to giggle when he actually explains it. Insists to get you two some fancy dinner afterwards to make up for the “trouble”, no matter how much you insist you’re glad that it was just a misunderstanding.

𐙚 Kalim Al-Asim

Surprisingly, or maybe not, Kalim is actually quite used to people gossiping about him too. It doesn’t mean he’s the best at handling it, but even before deciding to work on becoming a more capable person, he was already a couple steps ahead from quite a few other people. Even compared to the other dorm leaders — or maybe, especially compared to them — he usually doesn’t have a very hard time ignoring what others say about him.

The first time he hears the rumor, it’s from a few Scarabia students whispering to each other in the corners of the dorm lounge. His first concern is calling out how rude it is to spread rumors about other people, and while he doesn’t have much of an aura of authority, people like him too much to not back off. He thought that was the end of it, and was almost succesful at fully ignoring the rumor, but he’s unlucky enough a particularly nasty someone catches on that it did bother him, despite it technically not showing on the outside.

And then it’s not just a problem, but a long running one. Because he doesn’t want to listen to people saying all those mean things about you! You’re always happy when you’re around him, there’s no way you’d be secretly holding a grudge over… what, really? You two don’t even fight! …That’s the sort of thing he’ll be telling himself, as time passes, and without him even fully processing the building anxiety, you start to wake up to… random gifts from your boyfriend, piled up at the door of your dorm room. How long had it been since you forgot about the song, when you reach the point of deciding to ask him what this was all about? Who knows. The gifts didn’t feel that odd at first, he just does that sometimes, but you were starting to run out of space, and Kalim was starting to act weird around you. So you bring it up… And he actually bursts into tears.

Poor guy, honestly. He’s a mess, saying he’s sorry, he didn’t know what else to do to make your not want to break up with him, all that. He’s saying he’ll let you go if that’s what you truly want when you interrupt him and ask what he’s even talking about, and he tearfully mentions he heard those rumors— That at this point might have even died down. You have to assure him it’s all just rumors for a while, and he tears up again, this time out of happiness. He’s not even going to think about how crazy it was that he got so deep into something that had no depth at all. He’s just too glad that you’re not upset.

𐙚 Vil Schoenheit

Vil’s initial reaction mostly depends on what sort of day he’s had. It’s harder to not overthink things when he’s already stressed — Not that he believes it in any case, it’s just unpleasant to hear either way. The whole thing sounds, frankly, just too shallow to truly hit him. How could anyone claim to know how you were feeling just because you liked this one specific song? How could they even confirm you actually liked that song at all, really… But people still talk about it, and that’s how it sticks to his thoughts.

He’s already dismissed the rumor itself, the question is whether it really came up out of nowhere or not. Maybe someone had noticed you were looking down, or you confided in a friend about relationship issues, and that’s what’s really behind all those flashy claims about the song — The idea makes him anxious. You two usually just talk it out if there’s an issue, so what could have happened? You’re caught off guard when he asks you out for lunch, just the two of you, right in the middle of the week because it’s the only time slot he has available.

You think maybe he just felt like doing something nice but still easygoing. So it definitely feels strange when he starts to speak up about how he’s aware he’s not perfect, but he’s willing to work on anything that might bother you, you realize he looks oddly serious for the situation—

You blink, telling him you knew that, but everything was fine. If anything was wrong, you would’ve just talked to him, like you always do. He stops on his tracks, suddenly feeling kind of silly. If it was anyone else, maybe he’d question if you really meant that, but you say it so easily it couldn’t not be the truth— Then you ask him if something is wrong, and he does his very best efforts to circumvent the topic, something about being told you were unhappy… You recall a friend bringing up the rumor to you, before that, and it feels hard to believe something so silly would get to him. It turns out to be a nice date anyway, though. Maybe something you could do more often?

𐙚 Idia Shroud

Honestly, even before he registers that all of this is over you enjoying a song, his brain is already going haywire. When it does hit that this was all over a song, though, he stops, and not because it’s all over a song. But instead because the gossip itself implied that you weren’t listening to it while wallowing by yourself— Then, right after, he wonders if that means things were even worse than they seemed. Did people know because you were telling your friends about it or something? The questions keep coming up, the logic getting more and more complicated inside his head…

Would it be better to check up on you? Straightforwardly ask if anything is wrong? There’s no way he could just do that, what would he do if it all turned out to be right, if you’ve been silently despising him this whole time? In the end, you don’t hear from Idia that day at all. Then Ortho calls you out of concer, not knowing what’s happening beyond the fact his brother is losing his mind. You can even hear him in the background, telling him to hang up.

…And after a day without any texts, and a call from Ortho that sounded like Idia might as well have been stabbed in his room, you rush over to his dorm. You hurry to check up on him, expecting something bad, and he’s actually shocked you’re worried about him. That you don’t outright hate him. Hearing that, you’re understandably confused.

Your reaction brings him back to reality a bit, prompting him to ask if he’s done anything wrong. You ask him what made him think that. He mentions something about a song. Music, of course, is the furthest thing from your mind right now, so you ask him which song— It soon becomes clear there’s been an insane misunderstanding. After relief hits, it’s a little awkward, and he’s apologizing for how crazy he must have looked. You’re just glad your boyfriend didn’t get jumped or anything like that. Details can be discussed later.

𐙚 Malleus Draconia

Malleus takes it all pretty seriously. You probably showed him the song yourself, since he gets curious about the music you like, and it did stand out to him that it’s breakup music— But he doesn’t consider that, by itself, a reason to worry. He’ll always believe your word over others, which is why it’s so confusing to him to hear that you were supposedly unhappy. And people were considering your taste in music as proof on top of it all? Would that mean that showing him the song was some sort of indirect message, then…?

It doesn’t feel in character for you, he thinks, but he doesn’t want to risk it. He does consider doing something to make up for his supposed mistakes, but since the topic of breaking up is on the table, he decides nothing could really be enough. And you were really so upset you were about to give up on him, he doesn’t know what he could do to make you feel better. In the end, he just decided to ask — right at the very next time he sees you, before saying anything else — why you wanted to break up with him.

”What”,you echo, and for a moment he wonders if you were really so resentful you were making fun of him, but that definitely doesn’t sound like something you’d do. He explains he heard people talk about it, saying he wanted to “hear your thoughts on the matter before believing anyone else”, that he was hoping to solve whatever the problem was. He’s so serious it stuns you, you tell him there aren’t any problems.

That confuses him. What did you mean when you showed him the song, then? Nothing, it turns out. You just liked the music. His worries dissipate soon after that, if you say it was all well, of course he’ll believe you. He does remind you to tell him if it’s not, because he doesn’t want that imagined scenario to become true at all, but he’s ready to just (very) gratefully set it all aside. Simple as that. Won’t get it if you seem to find the situation amusing, but won’t stop you from finding humor in it either.

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