#they don't miss me anyways
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#honestly? really miss talking to some of the people i met here#but god am i burnt out about being the only one starting and keeping up conversations#it makes me feel like i don't exist unless i'm loud about it#and even when i am a lot of times.... i still don't#it's obvious at this point they don't care#it's why i had to cut off some of them#they don't miss me anyways#who cares#obviously i do but who else lmfaoooo#anyways if you per chance texted me and i haven't answered#which is i think no one?#this is why#i care but i'm tired#i'm exhausted#i am so so *so* tired of being left on read#or getting the shortest answers ever#you obviously don't care so why should i?#idk i'm bitter sorry about this i'm even sorry about the people this may apply to#but god i need it out of my system#delete later
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limited perception.
find me on instagram!
#ohhh this one felt like coming home#pure experimentation no references speedrun#art and creativity and catharsis i missed you#anyway don't ask me what this one's about. let a slag live her life#art#illustration#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital illustration#sketch#bethfuller#artwork
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nothing can best the bond between a boy and his cat (ref)
#sorry for no art i've had finals and post-royal depression#someone fucking sedate me i miss these losers#anyway mona slander is insane to me and i don't trust mona haters. infact dni if you hate him#you probably hate your pets and like waterboarding cats for fun#like imagine having beef with a cat please go get employed 😭#joker and morgana are one of my fav duos in the entire game i love them so dearly. ren is literally accurate pet owner representation#persona 5 royal#persona 5#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#morgana persona 5#lotus draws
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some of the head coms from recently <:^) indefinitely still open for these !
#my art#furry#anthro#illustration#oc#unicorn#hyena#look at this colourful bunch. this rendering style is a lot of fun (most of the time. lmao. sometimes it gives me road blocks)#neeed to fully open slots and make more examples but finding the time has been rough#lord give me the patience to make a website and the wisdom to make a website and the willpower to make a website and the#anyway it's gyoza for dinner tonight lads. gyoza and salad and my special homemade dipping sauce#being good and having something light because phish food changes me into someone i don't recognise and i consumed half a tub of it#effortlessly. could've had the whole thing. don't know who i am when phish food is in front of me#just kidding i recognised myself. i am ever allured by the love of a treat#of course i know her. she's me#ALSO god i do truly hate to say it. i haven't seen the movie but bye bye mufasa lion king. kind of slappy#kind of in my head forever. make you go bye bye. make you go. bye bye.#lion king villain songs man. will they ever miss? (ignoring the countless obscure spinoffs)
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semi-formal intro to my(?) new au: the Reinhold Mystery Journey AU!!
based directly from @dearesthershel's (not so glowing) video essay on LMJ, i wanted to really take the idea and try and run with it!! details under cut~
RMJ officially takes place 16 years after the events of Unwound/Lost Future, Flora Layton Reinhold is a relatively well-known detective making rounds as following in her guardian's footsteps as a brilliant mystery solver. A now 32 year old Flora (formally known as Detective Layton by her peers, Flory by her 14 year-old sister Katrielle), having opened her office a year after UF/LF, is being given her assignments by the Chief Constable and soon-to-be Commissioner of the Yard, Barton.
Joining her is her assistant and now world-renowned journalist, Emmy Altava! Now 43, she's mellowed out quite a bit since the Azran Legacy (though she still hits and hits HARD). Summoned to Flora's side by an unknown individual, she vows to help the good detective however she can, either intellectually... or percussively.
Together, they're thrown into a myriad of cases dredging up places and faces both old and new, as each mystery resolved leads them ever closer to the cold case of the mysterious disappearances of the Professor and his blue-clad assistant years ago...
.......at least that's the idea i have in mind anyway. i'm not the most skilled writer lmao
#mak art#mak draws pl#professor layton#rmj au#flora reinhold#emmy altava#professor layton au#I JUST MISS THEM. I JUST MISS TH#LVL5 GIVE ME WHAT I WANT ALREADY#anyways i hope people like this au!!! i certainly do#it's not my original idea which is why i wrote 'my(?) au'#but i hope it works nonetheless :)#we don't talk abt how long that sword drawing pose took me.#laytons mystery journey#lmj
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Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
———
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said– I was giving them an analogy.
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?
I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–
[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.
But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.
[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m–
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–
Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?
#Badboyhalo#BBH#Bad#QSMP#January 8 2025#Edited#I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks#Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing#This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic#Tumblr exclusive#Anyways business aside – that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That#Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying#I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got#Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange#I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom#But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole#It's a complicated feeling#I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here#It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating#We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too#I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears#I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently#If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication#I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust#And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community#I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot
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REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)
#moonbin#astro#moon bin#i don't want to be here right now honestly i just wanted my last post about moonbin to be the ones where hes smiling as my last memory#it kills me to see my posts reblogged with sad messages now#and i still can't believe this news either#i've been mia anyway but now im even less inclined to go on tumblr rn#im so sorry for everyone including family/friends of bin#and himself but i cant think about that bc it will break me apart#rest in peace bin i'll miss you more than anything
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"but there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence."
open for better quality | no reposts
#n harmonia#natural harmonia gropius#pokemon#pokemon black and white#fanart#myart#doodle#can't believe they dropped the rawest line of the century in a mainline pokemon game. unova remakes when??#for context one of my friends sent me a video of this trend w/ kvh and it made me think of N so here we are#me the whole time drawing this: please don't let me fall back into my N phase please don't let me fall back into my N phase-#but yeah i haven't drawn him in like what. almost 10 years?? and i'm really proud of how the 2nd piece turned out#younger minty would be so happy i can draw him prettily now lol#also (not so new) trivia drop: did you know g.hetsis' hydreigon has a moveset that can singlehandedly wipe N's party??#i only just recently found this out and it has horrifying implications#anyway!! tldr i love and missed my boy so i drew him ^^
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✨ thoughts and prayers ✨
#fifteenth doctor#doctor who#Not sure about this one but who knows lol#If there are errors you don't see them 😭#doctor who spoilers#the doctor#my art#doctor who boom#mine#procreate#digital art#doctor who fanart#doctor who series 14#15th doctor#ncuti gatwa#fanart#anyway cool episode! the concept is literally so funny like.#"hear me out. the doctor steps on a landmine and can't move all epsiode”#and its great! return of the random quarry somewhere in wales i missed her
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do i have to post an in-depth tutorial on how i make my frappes at home if it'll get people to stop going to fucking starbucks
#ramble#boycotting is not hard!!!! it says nothing other than you're a selfish fucking arsehole!!!!!!!#people are dying i don't care if you miss your $12 milkshake#'it's annoying' half of a fucking country is dead#anyway it's so much easier than you think and saves you SO much money#also better for me with ibs because i know exactly what's going into it#i will do this if you want i just have to wait for my new frappe base to arrive bc i've run out
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love love LOVE jesper fahey so much, kaz rips out someone's eye and tosses them overboard and jesper's just like "would he do that for me?" not at all bothered, just wondering if kaz cares about him enough to kill a guy for him. a man with his priorities absolutely in order.
#jesper fahey#kaz brekker#six of crows#kazper#anyway unrequited kazper has my entire heart#jesper and inej bonding over their silly crushes on kaz is so important to me like their friendship is EVERYTHING#'you're too good for him you know'#'i know. so are you'#LIKE??#don't even worry jesper he would totally kill a guy for you#AND THE BIT AND THE END OF CK 'tell jesper he's missed around the slat'#HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH HE JUST CANT ADMIT IT AND I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE THEM BOTH!!#soc
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A simplified version of the thing I feel like goes on in my brain.
Blank version under the readmore if you want to be a bit silly+introspective with your own "settings"
#I made this in like 15 minutes so it's missing things. like I should have a spot for executive functioning ability etc#the idea is that every part has their own settings of Things and when we can recognize the settings we recognize the part#I don't feel like explaining further#obviously this is a bit silly but it's also a very real feeling to me#anyway. have a Thing.#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder#complex dissociative disorder
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one of my fav little details from the new shooting star festival is that your date keeps & displays the star brooch you give them… 🥹
#fields of mistria#fom spoilers#not art but ik some people missed this and it's sooo cute 🥺#uhhh don't worry abt me taking this screenshot from hayden's bed.#it was just the best place to get the shot#:3#anyway. i could write sonnets abt how much i love the festival in general. SO GOOD
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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Experiments with pupils and mouths that devolved into shenanigans :)
#you can really tell I was having a normal one when I drew these#I like many of the pupil experiments but don't really like mouths on my iterators#i've seen some people do mouths on itties well though#...really enjoyed noisy cat spearmaster with a mouth tbh#no plans on changing how i usually draw things rn. this was just for fun#Sometimes I miss having pupils and mouths to work with (on slugcats and itties)#Not having either on iterators can be a unique challenge that forces me to practice my body language more#which I like drawing anyways so it works out#antennae are suuuper fun to use for expressions too#rain world#flickerdoodles#art#group pic
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