#they don’t ever question it and don’t want to know anything else
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FOR YOU, ALWAYS | CL16
an: this was a request! i loved wiritng it and now i love the idea of historical romance prince!charles, thank you for requesting it 💞 also i listened to experience by ludovico einaudi the entire time i wrote this
summary: charles has always hated his life, he thinks, he doesn’t know really. but then he meets someone, she challenges him, she makes him try and all of a sudden he knows what he wants.
wc: 12k
The grand dining hall of the Château de Monte Carlo was bathed in the soft glow of the morning sun filtering through its ornate windows. Prince Charles of Monaco sat at the long mahogany table, his jaw tight as his parents, the Sovereign Prince and Princess, laid out their expectations with the weight of unshakable certainty.
"You must understand, Charles," his mother said, her voice poised yet firm, "a union with Princess Evelyn of England is not merely desirable—it is necessary. The alliance could strengthen our position in ways you cannot yet fully grasp."
His father leaned forward, his imposing figure casting a shadow over the table. "This is not a matter of choice. You are the crown prince. Your duty outweighs any personal hesitation."
Charles’s fingers tightened around the stem of his untouched glass. “And what of my life? Am I to simply be a pawn in your political games?” His voice was calm, but a sharp edge lay beneath the surface.
His mother’s gaze softened slightly, though not enough to dissuade her resolve. “You are the oldest, my son. The weight of the crown has always been yours to bear. This... is part of that burden.”
He didn’t argue further, though every fibre of his being resisted. Instead, he rose, offering a clipped bow. “If you’ll excuse me.”
Moments later, Charles pushed open the heavy doors to his private chambers, stepping into the quiet sanctuary of his room. His temples throbbed with the remnants of the conversation, and he felt the weight of his parents’ expectations settling heavier than the crown he would one day wear.
Inside, the faint rustle of fabric caught his attention. The servant girl—her name unknown to him, as it was meant to be—was smoothing the fresh sheets over his bed. She froze upon seeing him, her hands faltering mid-motion.
“Your Highness,” she said quickly, dipping into a small, practised curtsey. “I didn’t realise you were returning so soon. Shall I leave and return later?”
He waved a hand absently, stepping toward the settee by the window. “No. Stay. Finish your work.”
She hesitated, her eyes flickering to his face, then back to the task at hand. He sank into the settee, his head tilting back against the carved wood as he let out a heavy sigh.
“Do you ever wonder,” he began, his voice soft yet tinged with frustration, “why some of us are given so much freedom, yet chained in ways that others cannot see?”
She paused, her hands gripping the edges of the linen she had just tucked in, unsure if the question was meant for her.
When she did not answer, he looked at her—truly looked at her—for the first time in a long while. Her expression was guarded, her posture poised, as though expecting reproach. “You can speak freely,” he said, a rare hint of gentleness colouring his tone.
Her lips parted slightly, then closed again before she carefully responded, “I think, Your Highness, that even those with freedom often long for something else.”
He smiled faintly, though there was no humour in it. “Something else,” he echoed, the words hanging between them like a challenge to a fate he could not escape.
She quickly turned her attention back to the task at hand, smoothing the sheets in swift, precise movements, as if afraid that lingering would invite trouble. Charles, however, was not done with the conversation.
“And what would you long for?” he asked, his voice quieter now but laced with curiosity. “If you could have… anything?”
Her hands stilled, though she didn’t lift her gaze. “It doesn’t matter, Your Highness. People like me don’t waste time with such thoughts.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
The firmness in his tone made her look up briefly, her eyes meeting his for the first time. They were dark, unyielding, yet not unkind. She hesitated, as though weighing the consequences of speaking too openly.
Finally, she murmured, “I suppose… I’d long for choice. To decide my own path, no matter how humble.”
Charles leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he regarded her with an intensity that made her shift slightly under his gaze. “Choice,” he repeated, almost to himself. “The one thing I’ve never had.”
She blinked at his words, her brow furrowing in confusion. He noticed the look and gave a soft, bitter laugh.
“You think I have everything, don’t you?” he asked, gesturing vaguely at the opulence surrounding them. “All this, and yet I’m to marry a woman I’ve never met. Smile on command. Produce heirs like some stud horse for the dynasty.”
“Your Highness—”
“Spare me,” he interrupted, raising a hand. “I’m aware I sound insufferable. Poor me, the prince in his gilded cage.”
The corners of her mouth twitched, the faintest shadow of a smile threatening to appear, though she suppressed it quickly. “I wouldn’t dare say so, Your Highness.”
“And yet you’re thinking it,” he said, leaning back against the settee, a faint smirk tugging at his lips now. “Go on. You’ve already said more than most would dare. Speak freely.”
She hesitated, then, emboldened by his unusual mood, offered carefully, “I think… it’s easier to envy a cage when it’s lined with silk.”
Charles let out a bark of laughter, surprising them both. For a moment, the tension in the room seemed to dissipate, replaced by something lighter.
“Touché,” he said, shaking his head. “Perhaps I deserve that.”
She resumed her work in silence, and he watched her, his mind turning over her words. There was a simplicity in her presence, a quiet sense of purpose that felt like a reprieve from the endless demands of court life.
As she moved to leave, her task completed, she paused by the door. “Your Highness,” she said, her voice tentative.
He glanced up, his expression expectant.
“Sometimes… cages are only as strong as we believe them to be.”
Before he could respond, she slipped out, leaving him alone with his thoughts—and the echo of her words, which refused to leave him in peace.
The words haunted Charles for days. Cages are only as strong as we believe them to be. They played on a loop in his mind, following him from morning meetings with ministers to the hollow dinners with his parents, where talk of his engagement to Princess Evelyn consumed every conversation.
By the third day, he relented. Not to the sentiment behind her words, but to the reality of his life. Duty, it seemed, would always triumph over desire. He formally agreed to the arrangement in a cold meeting with his father, his voice devoid of emotion as he signed the papers that would announce his betrothal to the world.
That evening, restless and seeking solace, he ventured into the royal gardens. The roses were in full bloom, their scent heavy in the warm air, yet they brought him no comfort. The paths, so meticulously maintained, felt as constricting as the marble walls of the palace.
The crisp evening air offered a solace the grand halls could not. He strolled along the manicured paths, his mind still heavy with the decision he had made, when movement near the servant’s entrance caught his eye.
It was her.
She was dressed simply, carrying a basket as she slipped through the narrow door at the edge of the palace walls. For a moment, he simply watched her, a sudden curiosity flaring to life. Then, before reason could temper him, he followed.
She moved with purpose, her steps quick as she crossed the gravel path leading to the servants’ gate. Charles kept his distance, careful to stay within the shadows. The sound of the gate creaking open carried through the still night, and he quickened his pace.
“Wait,” he called softly as the gate began to swing shut behind her.
She spun, startled, her hand flying to her chest when she saw him. “Your Highness!” she whispered, her tone panicked. She glanced around quickly, as though expecting someone to appear from the darkness. “What are you doing out here?”
“I saw you,” he said simply, his voice low, “and I followed.”
Her expression shifted from shock to alarm. “You shouldn’t have. If anyone sees you out here with me—”
“They won’t,” he said firmly, stepping closer.
“But if they do…” Her voice dropped further, almost a plea. “I’ll be dismissed—worse. Do you know what they’d do to me for leaving the palace grounds with the prince?”
He stared at her, and for the first time in days, he felt a flicker of something other than despair. “Please,” he said, the word escaping him softly but with undeniable weight.
Her eyes widened at his uncharacteristic vulnerability. She shook her head, taking a step back. “No. I can’t. I won’t.”
“I’m not ordering you,” he said quickly. “I’m asking.”
For a moment, she stood frozen, her mind clearly racing. Then, with a frustrated sigh, she pulled the cloak from her shoulders and thrust it toward him.
“Fine,” she said, her tone sharp but her movements careful as she draped it around him. “If anyone asks, you’re my cousin visiting from the countryside. Keep your head down and your mouth shut.”
Charles nodded, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “Understood.”
She turned and began walking quickly down the narrow dirt path beyond the gate. He followed, cloaked in her simple, worn garment, the scent of lavender lingering faintly in the fabric.
They walked in silence for what felt like an eternity before the lights of a small village came into view. She turned onto a side lane, leading him to a tiny house at the edge of town, its thatched roof weathered but charming.
“This is it,” she said, her voice clipped as she gestured to the modest dwelling.
He stared at the house, a stark contrast to the palace he called home. “You live here?”
“Yes,” she said, clearly defensive. “It’s small, but it’s mine. No one tells me what to do when I’m here.”
He didn’t respond, too busy taking in the details: the flower boxes beneath the windows, the faint glow of a single candle in the window.
“Now you’ve seen it,” she said, her tone impatient. “You should go back before someone notices you’re missing.”
But Charles shook his head. “No,” he said softly, his eyes still fixed on the little house. “Not yet.”
Her brow furrowed as she crossed her arms. “You shouldn’t have come in the first place.”
“Perhaps not,” he admitted, finally looking at her. “But now that I’m here… I can’t imagine wanting to leave.”
She stared at him, her expression unreadable. The quiet stretched between them, heavy with unspoken words. Finally, she sighed again, softer this time.
“Fine,” she said, stepping toward the door. “But if anyone asks, I don’t know why you’re here, and I definitely didn’t bring you.”
She pushed the door open, stepping inside with a cautious glance behind her. Charles followed, ducking slightly to avoid the low wooden beam over the doorway. Before she could say a word, a voice called from inside.
“Back already? I thought you—”
The voice cut off as a man, younger than Charles but older than the servant girl, appeared from the far corner of the small room. He froze, his sharp blue eyes flicking between her and the prince. “What in God’s name…”
“Damn it!” she hissed, pressing a hand to her forehead. “I thought you were working the late shift at the docks tonight!”
“I was,” her brother said, stepping forward and squaring his shoulders. His rough shirt and patched trousers bore the telltale marks of dock work—salt stains and grime clung to the fabric. “But the shipment was cancelled. Now you tell me why the bloody prince of Monaco is in our house. Did you kidnap him?”
“Kidnap him?” she snapped, throwing her hands in the air. “Don’t be ridiculous. He followed me!”
Charles, for his part, seemed utterly unconcerned by the commotion. His gaze wandered over the small room with childlike fascination, taking in the chipped table, the cracked ceramic plates stacked neatly in the corner, and the patchwork curtain separating the single sleeping area. He paused to admire a string of dried herbs hanging near the hearth, as though he’d never seen anything so fascinating.
“Your Highness,” the brother said, stepping in front of him with an awkward, hesitant bow. “I mean no disrespect, but do you… do you need me to call someone? Or are you in danger?” He looked over his shoulder at his sister. “Are we in danger?”
“No one is in danger,” Charles replied, his voice calm. He turned to her brother with a polite nod. “Thank you for your concern. I’m here of my own accord.”
The girl pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering under her breath. Meanwhile, Charles’ eyes landed on a wooden crate near the wall, and before either sibling could stop him, he lowered himself onto it. The crate creaked but held, and he leaned back with a sigh, a serene smile spreading across his face.
The girl spun on him, her exasperation bubbling over. “What are you smiling about?”
He looked up at her, his expression earnest, almost boyish. “It’s beautiful.”
She blinked. “What?”
“Here,” he said, gesturing around the room. “It’s so cosy. Everything has its place. It’s warm, lived-in… peaceful.”
Her brother raised an eyebrow, clearly sceptical. “You call this beautiful? Your palace is five hundred times the size, and you think this is—”
“I know what my palace is,” Charles interrupted, though his tone held no irritation. “Cold. Grand. Silent. This… this feels alive.”
She crossed her arms, her brow furrowing as she stared at him. For a moment, she didn’t know whether to laugh or scold him. “It’s a shack,” she said finally, her voice softer but still tinged with disbelief.
“Maybe,” he said, leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees. “But it’s your shack. And it’s more honest than anything I’ve ever known.”
Her brother exchanged a glance with her, his expression suggesting that he thought the prince might have lost his mind. She only shook her head, sighing heavily as she walked to the table and placed her basket down.
“This is a mistake,” she muttered to herself.
“Perhaps,” Charles said, still smiling, “but it’s the best mistake I’ve made in a long time.”
She busied herself unpacking the basket, placing a few withered carrots, a handful of potatoes, and some crusty bread onto the table. Her brother leaned against the wall, arms crossed, still watching Charles with wary eyes.
“If you’re staying, Your Highness,” she said, her tone clipped as she focused on the food, “I hope you don’t mind scraps.” She hesitated, then glanced at him. “And you can’t tell anyone at the palace that I take the extras. They’d—”
“Dismiss you,” Charles finished, his voice soft. “I won’t tell. You have my word.”
She gave a small nod, her shoulders relaxing slightly, and began peeling the potatoes. Her hands moved deftly, her brother stepping in to fetch water from the small barrel near the door. Charles sat quietly on his makeshift chair, watching the two of them work in a rhythm.
“Do you need help?” he asked after a moment.
Her brother let out a short laugh, but she only shook her head without looking up. “No, Your Highness, but thank you for the offer. I imagine peeling potatoes is beneath you.”
“Not everything is beneath me,” he replied, and while his voice was carrying a hint of dry humour, there was some seriousness to it.
She didn’t respond, but a faint smile tugged at her lips as she chopped the vegetables and tossed them into a battered pot over the small fire. Soon, the room filled with the simple, comforting aroma of soup.
When the meal was ready, she placed three mismatched bowls on the table and ladled out the steaming broth. She set one in front of Charles without ceremony, then handed one to her brother before sitting down herself.
Charles took a tentative sip, and his eyes widened slightly. “This is excellent.”
Her brother snorted. “It’s boiled scraps, mate. You must really have it rough if you think this is fine dining.”
“Max,” she warned, shooting her brother a glare.
Charles chuckled, dipping a chunk of the crusty bread into the soup. “Maybe it’s not fine dining,” he admitted, “but it tastes real. Honest.”
Her brother rolled his eyes but said nothing more, focusing on his meal. The three of them ate in relative silence, the tension in the room easing slightly as the warmth of the food spread through them.
When the bowls were empty, she cleared the table, stacking the dishes neatly on a small shelf. Charles leaned back, his contented smile returning as he watched her move about the room.
“You should go,” she said finally, her voice breaking the quiet. She didn’t turn to face him.
His smile faltered. “I don’t want to.”
Her hands paused for a moment before she resumed tidying the table. “You’ve seen what you wanted to see. This is my life. And you… you have your own life waiting for you back there.”
Charles stood slowly, brushing imaginary dust from his sleeves. “I suppose you’re right,” he said softly.
She walked toward the door, not meeting his eyes as she grabbed her cloak and gestured for him to follow. Her brother gave Charles a long, unreadable look as he rose to leave, but he said nothing, only shaking his head as the prince ducked back out into the cool night air.
They walked in silence down the dirt path, the lights of the palace glowing faintly in the distance. When they reached the servants’ gate, she stopped and turned to him, keeping her eyes on the ground.
“This is where we part ways,” she said firmly.
He took a step closer, and when she looked up, she saw something in his expression—gratitude, yes, but something deeper, too. Without a word, he reached for her hand, his touch gentle. He held it for a moment, his thumb brushing lightly over her calloused fingers.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice low and filled with sincerity. “For the soup. For everything.”
Before she could respond, he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. The gesture was brief, but it sent a wave of warmth up her arm, leaving her stunned.
He stepped back, releasing her hand, and gave her one last look before slipping through the gate and disappearing into the shadows.
She stood there for a long time, staring at the empty path, her heart racing for reasons she couldn’t—or wouldn’t—name.
The next few days at the palace dragged on in a monotonous blur for Charles. His mornings were filled with tiresome meetings about the engagement, his afternoons with rigid etiquette lessons to prepare for public appearances with Princess Evelyn. Every second felt like a tightening noose around his neck.
Finally, the day came for him to meet her. Princess Evelyn of England arrived with her entourage in an ornate carriage, her entrance every bit as grand as expected. She was perfectly polite, perfectly poised—and, to Charles, perfectly insipid.
They sat across from each other in one of the palace’s many drawing rooms, chaperoned by a small battalion of attendants and his ever-watchful parents. She spoke at length about her family lineage, her charity work, and her plans to modernise court life, but her words washed over him like a stream of lukewarm water.
When it was his turn to speak, he managed only the barest pleasantries. He was certain she noticed his lack of enthusiasm, but if it bothered her, she gave no indication.
By the end of the meeting, he felt more drained than he had in years. As she curtsied and left the room, he caught his mother’s pointed glare, but he ignored it.
Before she could say anything to him, he glanced at the ornate clock on his wall. It was nearly the same time as the day she would be fluffing the pillows on his settee. A peculiar sense of anticipation stirred in his chest.
Without a second thought, he made his way to his bedroom. As he opened the door, his eyes immediately fell on her.
She was there, as if summoned by some unspoken wish. She was standing by the settee, her back to him as she carefully fluffed the pillows. Her movements were deliberate, methodical, and entirely unlike the flurry of maids bustling about elsewhere in the palace.
A slow smile spread across his face.
“Perfect timing,” he said loudly, causing her to jump slightly.
She turned, clutching the pillow to her chest. “Your Highness!” she said, startled. “I— I can come back later if—”
“Don’t bother,” he interrupted dramatically, throwing himself onto the bed with a theatrical sigh.
She froze, unsure whether to be amused or annoyed, as he sprawled across the silk covers, one arm flung over his face.
“Let me tell you about the most dreadful afternoon of my life,” he groaned.
Her brow furrowed as she set the pillow back in place. “The dreadful afternoon where you met the woman you’re going to marry?”
“Precisely,” he said, sitting up slightly to gesture at her. “You understand my plight already.”
“I understand you’re being ridiculous,” she replied, smoothing the cushions on the settee.
“Ridiculous?!” he exclaimed, placing a hand over his heart. “Do you know what she said when I asked her about her favourite pastime?”
“I don’t,” she said flatly, clearly trying to stay focused on her task.
“She said,” he continued, his voice dripping with mock enthusiasm, “Oh, I do adore embroidery. There’s something so meditative about it.”
She stared at him. “That… doesn’t sound terrible.”
He sat up fully now, gesturing emphatically. “Doesn’t sound terrible? It’s horrific! What am I to do with someone who finds stitching flowers onto fabric the height of excitement?”
“You could try embroidery yourself,” she suggested dryly, unable to resist a small smirk.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Very funny. No, what I need is someone who… who challenges me. Someone with fire.”
She arched an eyebrow but said nothing, turning back to the pillows.
“Instead,” he muttered, flopping back onto the bed, “I’m shackled to a walking lesson in decorum.”
The room fell silent for a moment, save for the soft rustle of fabric as she adjusted the settee. Finally, she turned to face him fully, her expression unreadable.
“Maybe,” she said carefully, “you should spend less time thinking about what you don’t like about her and more time figuring out what you’re looking for.”
Charles opened one eye to glance at her. “And if what I’m looking for isn’t an option?”
Her gaze lingered on him for a moment, something unspoken passing between them. Then, she shook her head and turned back to her work.
“Then you make do,” she said simply.
He watched her for a long moment, his chest tightening inexplicably.
��Is that what you do?” he asked softly.
She paused but didn’t turn around. “Every day, Your Highness.”
Without another word, she grabbed her items and walked out, softly closing the door behind her.
Charles had barely settled back on the bed, still pondering her cryptic answer, when the door to his chambers burst open.
His younger brother, Arthur, strode in, his golden hair slightly dishevelled and a boyish grin plastered across his face. “Charles! I just saw her—the princess of England. She’s… stunning. Gorgeous. A masterpiece, really. You lucky bastard.”
Charles groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Arthur, must you always barge in uninvited?”
Arthur ignored him, plopping himself unceremoniously into one of the velvet chairs near the fireplace. “I mean it. If I were you, I’d have proposed on the spot. Did you see her eyes? Like polished emeralds.”
“She’s… fine,” Charles muttered, his tone flat.
“Fine?” Arthur’s voice rose in mock indignation. “Brother, I’d trade places with you in an instant.” He leaned forward, his grin widening. “What is it? Not enough excitement for you? Too… proper?”
Charles sat up, his expression exasperated. “If you find her so attractive, Arthur, marry her yourself.”
Arthur laughed, clearly amused by the suggestion. “Oh, if only it worked that way. But alas, you are the crown prince. The heir. The one who gets the girl and the throne, while I’m left to look charming at parties.”
Charles shook his head, his frustration bubbling beneath the surface. He couldn’t help but wonder how different his life might be if the roles were reversed. Could Arthur really be happy living a life of obligation, of gilded cages and loveless arrangements?
His thoughts drifted, unbidden, back to the servant girl. Her small house, her laughter with her brother over bowls of soup, the way she moved through life with an independence he’d never known.
“What would it be like,” he murmured, almost to himself, “to marry someone who isn’t royalty? Someone who isn’t bound by these ridiculous rules?”
Arthur blinked at him, momentarily caught off guard. Then he laughed, loud and incredulous. “Are you out of your mind?”
Charles turned his head sharply, fixing his brother with a challenging look. “I’m serious. What would it be like to marry a commoner? To live a life free of all this… pomp and pretence?”
Arthur’s laughter faded, replaced by a look of disbelief. “You are mad. Do you have any idea what that would mean? The scandal? The uproar? Father would have a fit. Mother would faint on the spot. And the people? They’d riot.”
“Would they?” Charles asked, his tone calm but insistent. “Or would they understand? Would they respect a prince who chose love over duty?”
Arthur shook his head, a faint sneer creeping into his expression. “You don’t know what you’re saying. A prince doesn’t marry a milkmaid or a seamstress. It’s not a fairytale, Charles. We’re not… like them.”
The words hung in the air, heavy and sharp.
“Not like them,” Charles repeated softly, his voice carrying a hint of disdain. “And what exactly does that mean?”
Arthur hesitated, then shrugged, as if the answer were obvious. “It means we have a responsibility. A legacy to uphold. Marrying into royalty isn’t just tradition—it’s survival. You think Father and Mother arranged your engagement for fun?”
Charles didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned back against the headboard, his mind churning. Arthur’s words grated against something deep within him, something that longed to push back against the boundaries of their carefully constructed world.
“Maybe,” he said finally, his voice low, “the legacy isn’t worth the cost.”
Arthur stared at him, his disbelief giving way to concern. “Charles… you’ve been spending too much time alone. Or worse—reading poetry again. Get your head out of the clouds, brother. This is your life. Learn to accept it.”
With that, Arthur rose, clapping Charles on the shoulder before striding toward the door. “And if you won’t,” he added with a grin, “I’ll gladly keep the princess company. You’re a fool not to appreciate her.”
The door closed behind him, leaving Charles alone in the echoing silence of his chambers.
But his mind wasn’t silent.
It churned, restless and defiant, filled with images of a life he might never know.
The chill of the autumn night bit at Charles’s skin as he hurried along the winding path toward the small house. A week had passed, and though he told himself repeatedly that it was improper—foolish, even—he couldn’t shake the gnawing thought of her.
He hadn’t seen her since their last conversation in his chambers. Every day without her had stretched longer than the last. No wry comments while she smoothed the wrinkles from his sheets, no gentle jabs at his dramatics.
The house appeared before him, small and humble against the starlit sky. Light peeked through the cracks in the shutters.
He hesitated, his heart pounding. Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he knocked.
The door opened a crack, her face appearing in the dim light. The moment she recognised him, her eyes widened in alarm, and she yanked him inside, shutting the door firmly behind him.
“Your Highness!” she whispered fiercely, pressing her back against the door as though to block the outside world. “Are you out of your mind? I’ll be hung if they find you at my door!”
He tried to smile, though he knew she was right. “I haven’t seen you all week.”
Her expression turned exasperated. “That’s not a valid reason to sneak out of the palace, Prince Charles.”
“Isn’t it?” he countered lightly, though the heat rising in his cheeks betrayed the truth of how much he’d missed her.
Her sigh was heavy with frustration, but something softened in her gaze. “You shouldn’t be here,” she said again, though her voice lacked its earlier sharpness. She moved away from the door, adjusting the shawl around her shoulders.
It was then that he noticed the redness around her nose, the slight rasp in her voice.
“You’ve been ill,” he said, stepping closer.
“It’s nothing,” she replied, waving him off as she moved toward the small kitchen space. “A cold. Happens every year when the weather turns. I’ll survive.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” he said quietly, glancing around the room.
“Life doesn’t wait for the sniffles,” she said with a faint smirk, though her movements were slower than usual as she reached for a bowl.
“Then let me help,” he said, surprising both of them.
She turned, raising an eyebrow. “You? Help? What do you know about cooking?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he admitted, grinning. “But I’m an excellent student.”
She stared at him for a moment, as though deciding whether to humour him. Finally, she handed him a knife and motioned toward a small pile of vegetables. “Fine. Peel those. Try not to cut yourself.”
He took the knife gingerly, studying the carrot as if it were a puzzle. She chuckled softly, the sound warming the small space, and stepped beside him to show him the proper angle for peeling.
The next hour passed in a flurry of quiet laughter and careful instructions. He fumbled with the knife, his first attempts earning teasing remarks from her, but he improved quickly under her guidance. Together, they chopped, stirred, and seasoned until the small pot on the stove began to bubble with a fragrant stew.
As they worked, the conversation drifted.
“You’re better at this than I expected,” she said, handing him a spoon to stir.
He smiled. “Careful. If you keep complimenting me, I might come back for more lessons.”
She shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “Cooking isn’t glamorous work, Your Highness. It’s just… survival.”
“Maybe,” he said, his tone thoughtful, “but there’s something… grounding about it. It feels real.”
She looked at him, her brow furrowing slightly. “You really hate that palace life, don’t you?”
He didn’t answer right away, instead focusing on the steady motion of the spoon in the pot. “I don’t hate it,” he said eventually. “It’s just… hollow. Every decision is made for me. Every word is calculated. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be in all of it.”
She nodded slowly, her gaze distant. “You’re lucky, though,” she said softly. “Even if it’s hollow, you have a place. A name. People like me… we’re just the shadows keeping the fire alive.”
He stopped stirring, her words settling heavily in the space between them. “I don’t think that’s true,” he said after a moment.
She tilted her head, her expression sceptical. “No?”
“No,” he said firmly. “You’re more than that. You’re clever. Strong. Independent. You see things I never could.”
She blinked, taken aback by the conviction in his voice.
“That’s what I like about you,” he added softly, almost without thinking.
The words hung in the air, and he froze, realising too late what he’d said.
Her cheeks flushed a deep pink, and she turned away quickly, pretending to adjust the pot on the stove.
His own face burned as he fumbled for something to say, but nothing came. The silence stretched on, heavy and charged, until she finally spoke, her voice quieter than before.
“You should taste the stew,” she said, not looking at him.
He stepped forward, dipping the spoon into the pot and taking a tentative sip.
“It’s perfect,” he said, his voice softer now.
Her lips curved into the faintest smile, though she still didn’t meet his gaze.
The evening deepened, the chill of the autumn air seeping through the thin walls of the small house. Charles noticed her slight shiver as she ladled the stew into two mismatched bowls, the threadbare shawl around her shoulders doing little to shield her from the cold.
He stood abruptly, unfastening the clasp of his heavy cloak. She turned to look at him, startled, as he stepped behind her and draped it gently over her shoulders.
“What are you doing?” she asked, pulling the thick fabric around herself instinctively.
“You’re cold,” he said simply, sitting back down and picking up his bowl.
She hesitated, looking at him with a mix of gratitude and uncertainty. “But you’ll freeze without it.”
“I’ll be fine,” he replied with a small smile. “I’ve survived colder nights, army and all of that.”
The warmth of the cloak seemed to envelop her, and she relaxed slightly, sitting down across from him. For a moment, they ate in silence, the quiet clinking of their spoons the only sound.
When their bowls were empty, Charles glanced around the modest room, noticing for the first time the lack of a hearthfire.
“Do you light a fire at night?” he asked, though he already suspected the answer.
She shook her head. “Can’t afford firewood,” she said matter-of-factly, collecting their bowls. “It’s not so bad. We manage.”
“Oh,” was all he managed to say, though the thought of her and her brother enduring nights in such cold unsettled him deeply.
She didn’t seem to notice his reaction, busying herself with tidying up.
Later, as he prepared to leave, she hesitated by the door, holding his cloak out to him.
“Take this back,” she said softly.
He pushed her hand gently back toward her. “Keep it,” he insisted. “For tonight.”
She opened her mouth to argue but stopped, the words faltering. Finally, she nodded, her fingers tightening around the fabric.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
He smiled at her one last time before stepping out into the night, the chill biting at him instantly as he made his way back to the palace.
She played with the royal clasp of his cloak as he left and wondered what her life would be like if she wasn’t just a servant and he wasn’t the Crown Prince of Monaco.
No less than a few days later, her brother barged into the small house, his footsteps heavy against the creaking floorboards.
“Why,” he began, his voice loud and incredulous, “is there months’ worth of firewood outside the house?”
She looked up from where she was patching a worn-out scarf, distracted. “What are you talking about?”
“The firewood,” he repeated, gesturing wildly toward the door. “There’s a mountain of it, just sitting there! Did you rob a lumberyard?”
She frowned, setting down her work and walking to the door. When she stepped outside, her eyes widened at the sight of the neatly stacked pile of firewood by the side of the house.
“I… I don’t know,” she stammered, completely bewildered.
It was then that she noticed a small slip of paper tucked into the top of the stack. Pulling it free, she unfolded it to reveal a note written in a familiar, elegant hand.
Keep warm – C
Her cheeks flushed, and a small smile tugged at her lips despite herself.
Her brother leaned over her shoulder, reading the note. “C?” he asked suspiciously. “Who’s C?”
She folded the note quickly, tucking it into her apron pocket. “No one,” she said, avoiding his gaze.
Her brother narrowed his eyes but didn’t press further, shaking his head as he muttered something about princes and their peculiarities.
She was fluffing the pillows on the freshly made bed when the door to the prince’s chambers swung open. Charles strode in, his expression lighting up the moment he saw her. Without hesitation, he leapt onto the bed, landing with a dramatic bounce that sent a pillow tumbling to the floor.
“You’re back!” he exclaimed, grinning. “And you’re better!”
“And you just ruined the bed I made.” she chided but then moved on to adjusting a vase on the side table. “Well I must say, a lit fire at night changes a whole lot.”
He froze for a fraction of a second, then sat up, feigning ignorance with an exaggerated shrug. “Oh? A fire, you say? That’s… good to hear. Fires are quite helpful, I’m told.”
Her smirk widened. “I’m sure someone told you that.”
“Perhaps,” he said, swinging his legs off the bed and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “But we’re not here to discuss firewood logistics, are we?”
She rolled her eyes, walking around the room to dust the mantel. “Then what would you like to discuss, Your Highness?”
He sighed heavily, flopping back onto the bed and throwing an arm over his face. “The princess of England.”
She raised an eyebrow, glancing over at him. “Oh?”
“I have to meet her again,” he groaned. “Another tea, another tedious conversation about fabrics or her needlework or some other mind-numbing topic. I swear, I’d rather duel blindfolded than sit through it.”
She snorted, biting back a laugh. “Blindfolded? That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”
“No,” he said, peeking at her from under his arm. “It’s perfectly reasonable.”
“Of course it is,” she said, her tone dripping with mock sincerity. “Because what’s more reasonable than a prince skewering himself just to avoid small talk?”
He sat up, clutching his chest theatrically. “You wound me, madam. Truly, your lack of sympathy is cruel.”
She gave him a sidelong glance, shaking her head as she set the duster aside. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“I’ve been told,” he replied, grinning.
She turned back to the mantel, but when the silence stretched, she glanced over her shoulder. He was watching her, his expression soft, his eyes warm and intent.
Her brow furrowed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He blinked, snapping out of his reverie, and quickly looked away, running a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t looking at you.”
“You absolutely were,” she said, crossing her arms and giving him a suspicious look.
“No, I was… thinking,” he said, his voice a touch too casual.
She arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Thinking about what?”
“About…” He scrambled for an answer, then pointed toward the bed. “About how well you made this bed. Truly impressive. Best I’ve ever seen.”
She rolled her eyes again, but a faint blush crept into her cheeks. “Right,” she said, picking up her duster. “Well, I’ll leave you to your very important thinking, then.”
He watched her go, his chest tightening as the door clicked softly shut behind her.
Over the next few days, Charles found himself increasingly distracted. Whether strolling through the palace gardens or enduring another tiresome tea with the princess, his thoughts invariably drifted to her. The way her wit kept him on his toes. The quiet determination in her movements. The occasional flicker of softness beneath her sharp remarks.
It was maddening.
When he was near her, he found excuses to linger. When she wasn’t around, he searched for her without realising it. And as much as he tried to push the growing ache in his chest aside, he couldn’t deny what was happening.
He’d fallen for her.
It was late afternoon when he returned to his chambers after a gruelling diplomatic meeting. To his delight, she was there, dusting the intricate carvings on the wooden frame of his bed. She didn’t notice him enter, humming softly to herself as she worked.
He leaned casually against the doorframe, watching her for a moment before clearing his throat.
She jumped, spinning around to face him, clutching her duster like a weapon. “Do you have to sneak up on me?”
“It’s my room,” he said, smirking. “I can hardly sneak into my own space.”
She scowled, turning back to her work. “You’re insufferable.”
“So you’ve said,” he replied, stepping further into the room. “But you keep coming back. Perhaps I’m growing on you.”
“I come back because it’s my job,” she retorted, moving to dust a nearby shelf.
He followed her, leaning lazily against the furniture. “A job you seem to excel at. Though I wonder… do you enjoy tormenting me as much as I enjoy tormenting you?”
She shot him a sharp glance, but the corner of her mouth twitched. “Someone has to keep your ego in check, Your Highness.”
He chuckled, reaching out to pluck the duster from her hand. “You do it so well,” he murmured, his voice low.
Her breath hitched slightly as he leaned closer, her eyes darting to his before flicking away. “You should stop doing that.”
“Doing what?” he asked, his voice soft and teasing as he leaned closer still, his face mere inches from hers.
“Whatever it is you’re doing,” she said, stepping back slightly, only to find herself against the edge of the shelf.
The tension in the air was palpable, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. His gaze was locked on hers, and for a moment, the world outside the room seemed to vanish.
A sharp knock on the door shattered the moment.
“Charles?” his brother’s voice called from the hallway.
Panic flared in her eyes, and Charles acted on instinct, grabbing her wrist and pulling her toward the large wardrobe at the side of the room.
“What are you—” she began, but he pressed a finger to her lips as he opened the wardrobe door and ushered her inside.
The space was small, barely enough for the two of them. She pressed herself against the back wall as he stepped in, closing the door behind them.
The darkness was absolute, and the only sound was the quiet shuffle of their breaths.
“Stay quiet,” he whispered, his breath warm against her ear.
A beat passed, and she whispered back, her voice laced with frustration, “If we get caught, it’ll be my neck, not yours.”
“No one’s getting caught,” he murmured, his voice low and steady.
In the confined space, his hand brushed against hers, and he froze. Slowly, almost hesitantly, his fingers moved to her face. His touch was light, tentative, as though he feared she might vanish at any moment.
His thumb traced the curve of her cheek, brushing against her skin with agonising slowness. Her breath hitched, and in the silence, it felt deafening.
“Why are you…” she began, but her voice faltered as his fingers brushed the line of her jaw, lingering there for a moment before sliding to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“You’re trembling,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.
“You’re too close,” she replied, though her tone lacked conviction.
The faintest smile curved his lips, though she couldn’t see it in the dark. “You’re not stopping me,” he said softly.
Before she could respond, his brother’s voice echoed from the other side of the room. “Charles, where are you?”
He leaned closer, his forehead nearly brushing hers. “Stay still,” he murmured, his hand still cradling her cheek.
She closed her eyes, the tension in the small space suffocating and electric all at once.
Footsteps receded as his brother left the room, grumbling something about missing him.
For a long moment, neither of them moved. Then, Charles let out a slow breath, his hand dropping from her face. He opened the wardrobe door slightly, letting in the dim light of the room.
“Safe,” he said quietly, stepping back to let her out.
She stepped past him, her cheeks flushed and her breaths uneven. “You’re reckless,” she muttered, avoiding his gaze as she hurried to gather her duster.
He smirked, leaning against the wardrobe door. “And you’re adorable when you’re flustered.”
She shot him a glare over her shoulder, but the pink in her cheeks betrayed her.
“Get back to work, Your Highness,” she said, her tone sharp but her voice unsteady.
He chuckled softly, watching her go.
The late afternoon sunlight streamed through the tall windows of Charles’s chambers, painting golden streaks across the plush rug. She was there again, this time at his desk, meticulously polishing the brass handles of the drawers. She worked with the same quiet efficiency she always did, her movements steady, purposeful.
Charles, reclining lazily on the settee, had been pretending to read a book for the past ten minutes. In truth, he’d barely turned a page. His attention was drawn, as it so often was these days, to her.
He cleared his throat, drawing her attention. “Have you ever taken a moment to rest?”
She glanced at him briefly before returning to her task. “I rest when my work is done.”
“And when is it done?” he pressed, setting the book down and rising to his feet.
She didn’t answer immediately, her focus still on the brass handle in her hand. “When your chambers sparkle, Your Highness.”
He chuckled, stepping closer. “It already sparkles. You’ve polished this desk so many times I can see my reflection.”
She huffed softly, clearly unimpressed. “There’s still dust.”
He reached out, his hand gently brushing hers as she gripped the cloth. She stilled, her breath catching as his fingers lingered over hers.
“You’re relentless,” he murmured, his voice low.
Her eyes flicked to his, wide and uncertain. “And you’re in my way.”
He smiled, his expression teasing but his gaze intent. “I’m rarely in anyone’s way. It’s a novelty.”
She tried to step back, but he moved with her, closing the distance between them. “What are you doing?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Observing,” he said, his voice soft, warm, as if he were sharing a secret. “You’re endlessly fascinating to watch, you know.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she looked away, but he reached out, gently tilting her chin so she’d meet his eyes again.
“You shouldn’t say things like that,” she said, her voice shaky.
“Why not?”
“Because…” She faltered, her lips parting as she searched for words. “Because you shouldn’t.”
He leaned in slightly, his hand still holding her chin. The air between them was heavy, charged with something neither of them dared name.
“You’re trembling again,” he said softly, the corner of his mouth lifting in the faintest of smiles.
“I’m not,” she said quickly, but her voice betrayed her.
“You are,” he whispered, his thumb brushing her jaw in the lightest of touches.
Her breath hitched, and her hands tightened around the cloth she still held. “This is dangerous,” she managed, though her tone was weak.
“For you?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. “Or for me?”
She couldn’t answer, her heart pounding so loudly she was certain he could hear it.
His hand moved, the backs of his fingers tracing the curve of her cheek, then down to her neck, where his thumb rested lightly against her pulse. He felt it hammering beneath his touch and smiled softly, almost as if he were marvelling at it.
“You feel it too,” he said, his voice low and intimate, as if the world beyond this moment didn’t exist.
She swallowed hard, her hands trembling as she finally pushed lightly at his chest. “You… need to stop.”
For a moment, he didn’t move, his gaze locked on hers. Then, slowly, he stepped back, though the tension in the air lingered like a storm about to break.
She turned away quickly, grabbing her cloth and pretending to busy herself with the desk again, though her hands shook so much she nearly dropped it.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, the sincerity in his voice stopping her in her tracks.
She didn’t turn back to him, but she nodded slightly, her voice quiet. “Don’t do it again.”
But neither of them believed that.
That night the crackle of the fire in the grand drawing room filled the silence as Charles poured himself another glass of brandy. His younger brother lounged in the chair across from him, a glass already in hand.
“You’ve been distracted lately,” Arthur said, swirling his drink. “Even more so than usual.”
Charles leaned back in his chair, the leather creaking beneath him. “Have I?”
Arthur arched an eyebrow. “You spent half of tea with the English delegation yesterday staring at the window. I’m pretty sure they could have declared war, and you wouldn’t have noticed.”
Charles chuckled, though it lacked his usual mirth. He stared into his glass, the amber liquid catching the firelight.
“Arthur,” he began, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.
His brother tilted his head, curious. “What?”
“What would you think of… being the next heir to the throne?”
Arthur blinked, then laughed, loud and incredulous. “What, you’re not planning on dying anytime soon, are you?”
“No,” Charles said, shaking his head, his lips twitching into a faint smile.
Arthur leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “Then why would you ask that?”
Charles swirled his drink, his gaze distant. “Just… wondering.”
Arthur snorted, leaning back again. “Abdicating is social suicide. If you’re even entertaining the thought, I’d advise you to stop immediately.”
Charles stayed silent, his thumb brushing idly along the rim of his glass.
The quiet stretched, and Arthur froze mid-drink, lowering his glass to the table with a sharp clink. His eyes widened, and his voice dropped. “You’re not thinking of abdicating… are you?”
Charles didn’t respond right away, his jaw tightening as he stared into the fire.
“Cha,” Arthur pressed, his voice rising slightly. “What the hell is going on with you? Who’s put this absurd idea in your head?”
Charles glanced at him, his expression inscrutable. “It’s not absurd.”
“It is when you’re the crown prince of Monaco,” Arthur snapped, sitting up straighter. “You’d give up everything—power, privilege, our family’s legacy—for what? A whim? A fleeting fancy?”
“It’s not a fancy,” Charles said sharply, his voice cutting through the room.
Arthur blinked, taken aback by his brother’s rare flash of anger. “Then what is it?”
Charles leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and staring hard at his brother. “What if I told you it’s something real? That I’ve found something—someone—who makes me feel more alive than anything this throne ever could?”
Arthur’s jaw dropped slightly, his expression caught between shock and disbelief. “You’re serious.”
“Deadly serious,” Charles said, his tone firm.
Arthur exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “This isn’t just about a servant, is it?”
Charles’s head shot up, his eyes narrowing. “How—”
“Please,” Arthur said, waving a hand. “You think I haven’t noticed? The way you’ve been sneaking out, the looks you give when you think no one’s watching? The firewood? You’re an open book.”
Charles leaned back, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “I underestimated you.”
“And you’re underestimating the chaos you’d cause,” Arthur shot back. “Do you have any idea what this would mean for the family? For Monaco?”
Charles’s expression hardened. “For once, I’m thinking about what it would mean for me.”
Arthur stared at him, the firelight casting shadows across his face. “You’d walk away from all of this?”
“If it meant being with her?” Charles said, his voice soft but resolute. “Yes. I would.”
The weight of his words settled over them, and for once, Arthur didn’t have a quick retort.
The next few days were torturous for Charles. Each moment stretched longer than the last, his thoughts dominated by her. Every step he took through the palace halls felt meaningless without catching sight of her—her quick smile, her quiet resolve, the way she challenged him without fear.
He thought of her words, her laughter, the way her cheeks flushed when he teased her. More than that, he thought of the way she made him feel—seen, understood, even cherished in a way that no title or crown could replicate.
His heart ached with the weight of it, with the need to tell her, to unburden himself of the truth that had taken root so deeply he couldn’t ignore it anymore.
But how? How could he look her in the eye and admit what he was so sure would unravel the tenuous balance between them?
One morning, he found himself wandering aimlessly through the palace gardens. It was the time of day she often brought fresh linens from the storage to the castle, she usually crossed the gardens. He lingered, hoping for a glimpse of her, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Frustrated, he returned to his chambers, pacing the space restlessly, thinking. No, waiting to next see her. When she finally arrived, carrying a tray of fresh tea and biscuits, his breath hitched.
“You’re pacing,” she said, placing the tray on the table. “That’s never a good sign.”
“I’ve been restless,” he admitted, stopping mid-stride. “And you’re late.”
She raised an eyebrow as she set the tea. “Didn’t know I was on your schedule.”
He crossed the room to her, his steps deliberate. “I notice when you’re not here.”
Her hands stilled for a moment before she resumed arranging the tea things. “I’m just a servant, Your Highness. Surely you have better things to notice.”
“That’s not true,” he said, his voice dropping.
She looked up at him, her expression guarded. “It should be.”
He wanted to argue, to say it wasn’t her place to decide what mattered to him, but the vulnerability in her gaze stopped him. Instead, he changed the subject.
“Have you eaten today?”
She frowned, clearly caught off guard. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I’d wager you haven’t,” he said, stepping closer. “You work yourself to the bone.”
She shrugged, turning back to her task. “I’m used to it.”
“That’s not an answer,” he said, his tone softer now. “Come. Sit with me for a moment.”
She hesitated, glancing at the door. “If someone sees—”
“No one will,” he said, moving to pull a chair out for her. “Please.”
Her eyes darted between him and the chair before she sighed, giving in and sitting reluctantly.
He poured her a cup of tea, his movements unhurried. As he handed it to her, their fingers brushed, and he felt the now-familiar spark that always seemed to follow her touch.
“You don’t have to do this,” she said quietly, looking down at the tea.
“Do what?”
“Treat me like I’m someone,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Someone important.”
His chest tightened. “You are.”
She looked up at him then, her eyes wide, filled with a mix of disbelief and something else—something that made his breath catch.
For a moment, he thought about saying it, about laying it all out before her. But the words caught in his throat, weighed down by the fear of what her reaction might be.
The next day, Charles found himself waiting for her in his chambers again, anticipation thrumming through him. When she arrived, her arms full of fresh linens, he immediately noticed the faint circles under her eyes.
“You’re overworking yourself again,” he said, standing from his seat near the window.
“I’m fine,” she replied, her tone brisk as she moved to change the bedding.
“You’re not,” he countered, moving closer.
She straightened, turning to face him. “Why do you care?”
The question hung in the air between them, heavy with unspoken truths.
“Because…” He hesitated, his hands flexing at his sides as he struggled to find the right words. “Because you matter to me.”
Her lips parted, her breath catching. “Charles, don’t—”
“I’m not trying to overstep,” he said quickly. “But you should know—I can’t ignore it anymore.”
“Ignore what?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly.
Before he could answer, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hall. She stepped back instinctively, breaking the moment.
Over the next few days, he was quieter, more pensive. He found himself watching her more often, the words he wanted to say always on the tip of his tongue. But every time he opened his mouth, the weight of the risks stopped him.
What if she didn’t feel the same? What if she did, but couldn’t say so?
The questions tormented him, each one drawing him closer to the inevitable conclusion: he had to tell her.
But how could he make her understand the depth of his feelings without ruining everything?
Charles really tried to wait it out, he tried so hard.
But when the rain lashed outside his chambers where he sat in the dimly lit room, the fire crackling softly in the hearth.
He worried.
It was late, far later than when she usually came, but he had waited, a knot of tension in his chest.
When the door finally opened, and she stepped inside with her usual quiet grace, drenched from the rain with his laundry in a covered basket, his heart leapt.
“You’re soaked,” he said, standing quickly. “You shouldn’t be out in this weather.”
She shrugged, setting the basket down by the door. “Work doesn’t stop for a storm, Your Highness.”
He frowned, crossing the room to her. “Take off that cloak; you’ll catch your death.”
“I’m fine,” she said, brushing past him toward the hearth, but her shivering betrayed her words.
He moved closer, pulling her gently toward the warmth of the fire. “Why do you always insist on pretending you’re fine when you’re not?”
She stiffened under his touch. “Because I have no other choice.”
Her words hit him harder than he expected. He reached for her hands, his thumbs brushing over her cold fingers. “You shouldn’t have to live like this.”
She pulled her hands back, looking at him with a mixture of confusion and caution. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” He hesitated, his heart pounding. “I can’t keep pretending. Not anymore.”
“Pretending what?” she asked, her voice quiet but steady.
“That I don’t feel this,” he said, stepping closer. “That I don’t feel everything for you.”
Her eyes widened, her breath catching. “Charles…”
“I love you,” he said, the words tumbling out, raw and unguarded. “I’ve tried to fight it, to ignore it, but I can’t. I don’t want to.”
Before she could even stop them, tears welled in her eyes, and she shook her head, stepping back. “You don’t mean that. You can’t.”
“I do,” he said firmly, closing the distance between them again. “I’d give up everything—this title, this life—if it meant being with you.”
Her tears spilled over then, and she covered her mouth with her hand. “Don’t say that. Don’t even think it.”
“Why not?” he asked, his voice breaking. “If I’m not happy here—if I can’t have the life I want—what good is any of this?”
“Because you don’t know what you’re saying,” she said, her voice rising. “You’ve lived in a palace your entire life, with servants, banquets, comfort. You don’t know what it’s like to live without it. To go to bed on an empty stomach. To wake up not knowing if you’ll have work the next day. I can’t do that to you.”
“You wouldn’t be doing it to me,” he said desperately. “It would be my choice.”
She shook her head again, her tears falling faster now. “And what happens when you realise you can’t live like that? When the reality of it sets in? You’ll resent me. And I’ll lose you.”
“You won’t lose me,” he said, his voice pleading as he reached for her hands again. “I swear to you, you won’t.”
“I don’t have a good life,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I can barely take care of myself. How could I take care of you?”
“I don’t need you to take care of me,” he said, his hands tightening around hers. “I just need you. I don’t care about the rest.”
She looked at him, her eyes searching his, her tears glistening in the firelight. “You’re asking me to believe in something that feels impossible.”
“Then let me prove it to you,” he said, his voice breaking as his own tears threatened to fall. “Please. Give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me. Let me love you the way you deserve.”
Her resolve wavered, her breath hitching as his words sank in. She wanted to believe him—desperately—but the fear of what they would face, of what they would lose, loomed over her.
“Cha…” she began, her voice cracking.
“Please,” he whispered, his forehead resting against hers. “Say yes. Just… say yes.”
For a long, agonising moment, the only sound was the rain pounding against the windows and the crackle of the fire.
“I don’t know how to do this,” she said finally, her voice barely audible.
“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he said, cupping her face gently, his thumbs brushing away her tears. “But don’t push me away. Not now. Not when I know you feel this too.”
Her lips quivered, and she closed her eyes, a fresh tear slipping down her cheek. “You’re impossible,” she whispered.
“And you’re everything,” he replied, his voice trembling with emotion.
After pacing around his room for a few days, thinking of how he was going to tell his father, Charles went to his study.
The atmosphere in the king’s study was heavy with tension, the air almost crackling as Charles stood before his father. The older man sat behind an imposing mahogany desk, his expression dark and unreadable. The storm that had raged days earlier seemed to have shifted inside these walls, centering on the room as if the universe sensed the coming conflict.
“I need to speak with you,” Charles began, his voice steady but tight.
The king set down the pen he had been holding, his gaze sharp. “This sounds serious.”
“It is,” Charles replied, straightening his shoulders. “I’ve made a decision.”
The king leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers. “I see. Go on, then.”
“I’m going to abdicate.”
For a moment, the words seemed to hang in the air, the weight of them pressing down on the room.
Then, the king’s expression darkened further, his voice sharp and incredulous. “You’re what?”
“I’ve decided I don’t want the throne,” Charles said firmly. “It’s not the life I want anymore.”
The king rose from his chair, his movements slow and deliberate as he loomed over the desk. “Do you even understand what you’re saying? What you’re throwing away?”
“Yes,” Charles said, meeting his father’s gaze without flinching. “I’ve thought about this—more than you know. I don’t want this life. I want…” He hesitated, his voice softening. “I want to live my own life.”
The king scoffed, shaking his head. “And what life would that be? One of obscurity? Of poverty? You’ve never gone a day without comfort, without privilege. You know nothing of what it’s like out there, and you think you can just… give all of this up?”
“I do,” Charles said, his tone resolute.
The king’s eyes narrowed. “This is about her, isn’t it? That servant girl. Your mother mentioned her but I did not believe her.”
Charles’s chest tightened, but he didn’t deny it. “Yes. It’s about her. But it’s also about me. About what I want, who I want to be. And I know I don’t want this.”
“Don’t be a fool,” the king snapped, his voice rising. “You think love is enough to sustain you? That some fantasy of a simpler life will keep you warm when reality sets in? She can’t give you what you need, Charles.”
“She gives me what I want,” Charles shot back, his voice fierce. “And for once, isn’t that enough?”
“No, it isn’t!” the king roared, slamming his hand on the desk. “You’re a prince! You have a duty—to your family, to your people. You can’t just walk away because of some fleeting infatuation.”
“It’s not fleeting,” Charles said, his voice dropping but losing none of its intensity. “I love her. And I’d rather live a life with her—whatever that looks like—than spend one more moment pretending to be happy here.”
The king laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “You’re naïve. You don’t even know how to survive out there.”
“She’ll teach me,” Charles said, surprising even himself with the certainty in his voice. “I want to learn. I want that life—with her.”
The king stared at him, his face a mixture of disbelief and frustration. “You’re throwing away everything you’ve ever known for a life of struggle. For what?”
“For love,” Charles said simply.
The room fell silent, the only sound the faint ticking of the clock on the wall. The king finally sat back down, rubbing a hand over his face. When he looked up again, his expression was weary but no less stern.
“You’re making a mistake,” he said quietly.
“Maybe,” Charles replied. “But it’s my mistake to make.”
The king’s lips pressed into a thin line, his gaze searching his son’s face as if looking for a crack in his resolve. But Charles stood firm, his decision made.
“You’ll regret this,” the king said finally, his voice heavy with warning.
“Perhaps,” Charles said. “But I’ll never regret choosing her.”
Without another word, he turned and walked out of the study, leaving his father staring after him in silence.
The rumours spread like wildfire. Whispers followed Charles wherever he walked, his every step trailed by servants and courtiers exchanging furtive glances and hushed speculations. The air in the palace buzzed with the shock of his decision, but none of it mattered to him. Not the disapproval etched into his father’s face, nor the incredulous murmurs of the courtiers. His mind was focused solely on her.
He found her in the palace laundry room, folding linens with the quiet efficiency that always seemed to calm her. When he walked in, she froze, her fingers clutching the corner of a sheet.
“You,” she began, her voice a mixture of disbelief and exasperation. “You really went through with it?”
He stepped closer, his hands tucked behind his back, his face calm but his eyes alight with purpose. “I told you I would.”
She stared at him, shaking her head. “I thought—Charles, I thought it was just talk. Something you’d get over once you realised how insane it is.”
“Well, I’m officially insane,” he said with a faint smile, stepping closer.
She dropped the sheet onto the table and turned to face him fully, her arms crossed. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? The crown, the throne, your entire future—it’s gone. All of it. For what?”
“For you,” he said simply.
Her mouth opened, but no words came. Finally, she shook her head, her voice trembling. “You’re impossible. Do you know what this means? I can’t work here anymore, not if you abdicate. The palace won’t keep me.”
“I know,” he said gently. “And I wouldn’t ask you to stay here. We’ll leave—together.”
“Leave?” she echoed, blinking at him.
“Yes,” he said, stepping closer until he was just in front of her. “I’ve been thinking about it. We can go somewhere no one knows us, where we can start fresh.”
She stared at him like he’d grown another head. “Where would we even go?”
“Italy,” he said with a small smile.
“Italy?” she repeated, her brows furrowing.
“Yes, maybe Marenello,” he said, his voice filled with conviction. “It’s beautiful, the weather is perfect, and… I don’t know, it just feels right.”
She let out a soft, incredulous laugh. “Charles, I don’t even speak Italian.”
He tilted his head, his smile widening. “Then, for once, I’ll get to teach you something.”
His words hung in the air, so tender and unexpected that she couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. The corners of his eyes crinkled at her reaction, and before she could say anything else, he stepped even closer and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.
She closed her eyes, the warmth of his touch sending a shiver through her. “You’re serious about this,” she whispered.
“Completely,” he murmured against her hair. “I’m not afraid of starting over, not if it’s with you.”
For a moment, she let herself believe it could be possible—this crazy, impossible dream of theirs.
“When?” she asked softly.
“Tomorrow,” he said, his voice full of quiet resolve. “After I sign the abdication papers.”
She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with wide, searching eyes. “And then what?”
He smiled, his expression both calm and full of determination. “And then we start the life we’ve always wanted.”
She didn’t want to be vulgar, she really didn’t but she had to be honest.
She was shitting herself at the thought of being summoned into the King’s office with the entire family.
The office was uncharacteristically quiet, the usual hustle and bustle of the palace muffled by the thick doors. Charles sat at the massive oak desk, the official abdication papers spread out before him. Arthur stood off to the side, his arms crossed, watching the scene with a mix of bewilderment and unease while his parents stood by the desk with a clear look of disdain etched on their faces.
She stood near the doorway, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. She looked smaller than usual, her nerves evident in the way her fingers twisted together. Her wide eyes darted between Charles and the papers, the weight of the moment pressing down on all of them.
Arthur broke the silence first. “Are you sure about what you’re doing, Cha?”
Charles’s pen hovered over the signature line, but he didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he looked up at her. She met his gaze, and in that instant, the rest of the room faded away. The worry in her eyes, the way her lips pressed together as if she was holding back words—it was as if he was falling in love all over again.
“You don’t have to do this for me, Cha,” she said softly, her voice barely more than a whisper.
He smiled at her, then, without hesitation, he bent his head and signed his name in bold strokes across the paper.
The moment was electric, the scratch of the pen on parchment the only sound in the room. When he finally set the pen down, it felt as if the world had shifted, as if something monumental had been set into motion.
Arthur exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “Well, there it is,” he muttered, his voice carrying a mixture of disbelief and resignation. “You’re officially insane.”
Charles stood, his movements deliberate as he turned to face her. “Go back to your house,” he said, his voice steady but laced with an urgency that made her breath hitch. “Pack your things. Tell your brother. We’re leaving at six.”
Her eyes widened, her lips parting as if to protest, but before she could say a word, Arthur muttered something about needing air and slipped out of the room, leaving them alone, his parents following shortly behind.
The silence that followed was thick with tension, their gazes locked as the gravity of what had just happened sank in.
“You…” she began, her voice trembling. “You really did it.”
“I did,” he said, stepping closer to her.
She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could, he cupped her face gently in his hands. The world seemed to pause, the space between them charged with an intensity that neither of them could deny any longer.
And then he kissed her.
It was soft at first, tentative, as if he was savouring the moment he had dreamed of for so long. But when she leaned into him, her hands clutching his jacket as if to anchor herself, the kiss deepened, becoming a silent promise of everything they were about to face together.
When they finally pulled apart, her cheeks were flushed, her breathing uneven. He rested his forehead against hers, his hands still cradling her face.
“I love you,” he whispered, his voice low and full of emotion.
She blinked, her eyes shining as she searched his face. “I love you too,” she said softly, her voice breaking slightly. Because she did, she didn’t know when she exactly fell in love with him. Maybe it was when he first came to her house and looked at it with wonder rather than judgement or maybe it was when they shared that intimate moment in the wardrobe.
He smiled, brushing a thumb across her cheek. “Then go,” he said. “Pack your things. This time tomorrow, we’ll be miles away from here. Together.”
She nodded, her resolve strengthening as she stepped back, her gaze lingering on him for a moment longer before she turned and slipped out of the office.
Charles stood there for a moment, the weight of what he’d just done settling in his chest. But for the first time in his life, he felt truly free.
the end.
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#charles leclerc x female oc#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc angst#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#cl16#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 x you#cl16 one shot#cl16 fic#cl16 x y/n#cl16 fanfic#ferrari formula one#ferrari formula 1#ferrari#ann speaks#ann talks#prince charles leclerc
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heyyy could u write a one shot of kwon x reader where they weren't able to see each other for months (reader travelled to a different country and he had to go to the tournament) but reader finally had the chance to go to the sekai taikai and surprises him? maybe suggestive ;) But fluff is ok too, thank youn!
a/n: LMAOOO SNEAKY ANON but yk what ill do it (hes too fine). crazy how i wrote the bf hcs of him yesterday and now i got 3 reqs lmao, not complaining tho. also i want to find good icons to put on my kwon reqs but I CANT CHOOSE,,
warnings; SUGGESTIVE, cursing (only like..once), uhh thats all i think
Kwon stood up along with the rest of the Cobra Kai members, barely paying attention to the announcements being said at the moment— too deep in thought— thoughts of you.
The past few months were hard. Not just for him, for you too. You had to travel to another country for a while due to a family emergency regarding a very ill relative. Although you both facetimed and texted everyday, the distance was still there. It wasn’t the same.
The Sekai Taikai was able to get Kwon to focus on the tournament, but even so it wasn’t enough. His mind kept drifting off to you. He never thought your absence would affect him that much, but ever since you told him you had to stay there longer, he felt the ache in his chest deepen with each passing day. He probably wouldn’t say it out loud, but he missed you. A lot.
As everyone was allowed to leave, Kwon let out a sigh, head tilted a bit low as he walked with the rest of his dojo. What was up with him? He won every match he had, why did it not fuel him up with satisfaction anymore? Even messing around with other dojos wasn’t becoming as fun. It frustrated him.
“Hey, wanna go with us to a bar nearby later?” Yoon went up to him, slightly nudging his shoulder with his elbow.
Kwon snapped out of his thoughts, and stopped walking. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea, he could forget about the emptiness in his heart. “..Sure, why not. I could use some distraction.” He replied. Without saying anything else, he walked away.
· · ·
You let out a sigh of relief after managing to get inside the building where the tournament was being held. You may or may not have lied your way in by saying you were one of Cobra Kai’s backups and Sensei Kim requested you come here as an emergency.
Those at the desk were a bit skeptical, but thankfully didn’t question any further and let you pass.
You walked past the big hallways, trying to think where the rooms were, thinking he was probably resting. You couldn’t wait to see him again— his eyes, his hair, that stupid yet charming smirk he had on his face.
Suddenly, you passed by a teenage guy scrolling through his phone. Maybe he knew Kwon, it was worth asking.
“Uh..excuse me,” You started, a bit nervous as you walked up to him. “Do you know the room number Kwon Jae-Sung is staying in?”
Demetri looked up, an eyebrow raised at the..random question. Out of all the questions you could have asked, this one didn’t cross his mind. He glanced around the room, noticing how it was only you and him. “I don’t think..I can give out that information.” He replied.
“Oh, no. It’s not like that—” You said quickly. “I’m his partner. I wanted to see if he’s okay.”
“Partner?” Demetri repeated. “As in, sparring partner? Then you should kn—”
“No!” You exclaimed, interrupting him. You cleared your throat before continuing, “I meant..I’m his partner..romantically.”
“Oh. That makes sense.” Demetri said, before nodding slightly. He leaned in to whisper the room number, then sat back down. “I’m sure he’s doing very fine.. but that’s the number.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Relief washed over you, as you quickly left, going to the elevators.
Demetri watched as you left, before his eyes widened. “Wait. What if they’re not his partner?”
· · ·
Kwon got out of the elevator, laughing along with his team members who were all drunk and held onto each other for support.
Being at the bar did help him be distracted for a while, drinking along while the rest were doing bets on who could drink the most without getting drunk at all.
“Hey, why don’t we go out again for some more fun? It isn’t too late,” One of them suggested.
“Not a bad idea. Let’s go,— Kwon, you comin’?”
“Nah, I’m good. You guys go ahead.” He said. The others left, leaving him alone.
He opened the door to his room, shutting it behind him and turned on the lock. Walking over to his bed, he began to take off his shirt and draped a towel around his waist. Just as he was going to enter the shower, a finger tapped on his shoulder.
As he turned around, he was taken by surprise.
You were standing there, with a mischievous smile.
How did you get in his room? Was he dreaming? Was he too tired after training? Did he drink too much? Did he—
“I got you~!” You said with a chuckle.
He couldn’t feel his heartbeat— he couldn’t believe it. You were here, in front of him. After months of longing, of only talking through a screen, you were standing right there, your bodies’ mere inches away from the other. Without thinking, he closed the distance between you two, pulling you into his arms.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he mumbled into your hair, his fingers tracing the curve of your back, feeling the warmth of your body against his.
You laughed softly, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze, “I thought I’d surprise you.”
“Yeah..and you did,” He replied. “but now that you’re here..” His eyes trailed over your body up and down, voice low. The tension built between you both was obvious, the look in his eyes said it.
His lips twitched into a smirk, pulling you close to him again, “Tell me my love, did you miss me a lot?” He asked, in a teasing yet flirtatious tone.
“Maybe, who knows?” you mumbled, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, “Want to find out?”
Kwon didn’t reply, his lips crashing on yours as his hands instinctively held onto your waist. The kiss deepened, hinting at the need that every inch of his body begged for. It was obvious to you—he wanted more.
Your fingers went up his chest, your other hand pulling him even closer to you–if that was possible.
He pulled away for a second, as your eyes met. His dark eyes were full of lust, but also shone with a hint of mischief. Before you knew it, Kwon leaned in again, kissing your jaw and trailing down to your collarbone. Removing a hand that was on your hip, he held onto your leg, lifting it up as you curled it around his waist.
Kwon kept kissing your body, the sounds that left your lips only fueling his desire. He had your back pressed against the wall, and began to take off your shirt.
“Fuck..” He silently cursed to himself as he looked up to see your expression— cheeks red as you tried to steady your breathing.
“Looking like a mess, how cute. And just for me, right?”
You nodded frantically, wanting him to stop teasing and continue.
Knowing you were desperate, Kwon chuckled. “Don’t worry love, after so many months apart, I’m not done with you just yet.”
HELP I FEEL SO EMBARRASSED I FEEL LIKE I DID SO BAD ON THIS 💀 well it was definitely interesting to do lol..time to work on those other requests now
#cobra kai#kwon x reader#kwon jae sung x reader#kwon jae sung#uh..would it count as a bit of smut lmao#kwon jae sung x female reader#kwon jae sung x male reader#ck#kwon jae sung x gn! reader#gotta give the bros some fics too#SUGGESTIVE SUGGESTIVE SUGGESTIVE ALERT#once again#suggestive#oneshot#meracyn#idk how i feel abt this lmao
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Kinder Worlds
“So,” Tony started as Nebula as carefully lined up her next shot. They’d played in silence thus far since Nebula had shown up out of the blue and demanded a game. “Something wrong?” he asked. “You normally don’t just show up.”
“Do you think I can see this Terra?” she asked, instead of responding to his question. “You spoke of ‘hamburgers’ I would like to try them.”
Tony considered her, then decided not to push. He grinned. “Oh, we can try all sorts of things. I’ve got a photostatic veil if you want to go out in stealth mode—“ He’d told her the first time she showed up that she was fine, but she seemed to like ‘stealth mode’. “—though if you want to go as you are, that’s fine.” Most people had gotten used to aliens, the few that hadn’t—Ross came to mind—Tony could handle. “Or we can order in. Whatever you want.”
Nebula gave this her standard due consideration. “I would like to go out,” she decided. “And I will wear the veil. Stealth is imperative; I would prefer people to underestimate me.” She paused. “Perhaps we can visit your spider child. Or your wizard.”
Tony considered that. It was a Saturday, which meant no school. “Peter will definitely join,” he told her. “Picnic in Central Park with hamburgers with you? Yeah, there’ll be no keeping him away. Stephen… Hit or miss if he’ll join.”
Stephen was, unfortunately, almost always busy with something, it could make it difficult to meet up with him, though Tony still thought that every opportunity was worth it. Especially after things had… developed between them in ways Tony would never have expected.
He pulled out his phone and sent out a text to ‘Team Titan’—or at least that was what Peter had named them—to invite them both.
From: Tony Stark
Picnic at Central Park! Nebula’s here!
I’ll provide the food—prepare for burgers.
He shifted so that he could take a selfie of the both of them—something Nebula put up with with a sigh—before sending that along as well.
From: Spiderling
Oh my word! Are we finally introducing Nebula to hamburgers?
Peter always had been quick on the uptake.
I’ll be there!
“That’s Peter decided,” Tony said cheerfully. Who knows if we’ll hear from—“
From: Merlin
I would appreciate far more warning for something of this nature.
I am not at your beck and call.
Tony rolled his eyes. Picnics were always best when they were spontaneous, everyone knew that. Or at least every picnic he’d ever been on had been of the ‘you know what, I want a picnic’ variety and the majority of them had been enjoyable.
Though there had been that time with the ant invasion… he shuddered. Not to be repeated.
And of course, a few had involved drinking and he honestly didn’t remember them, but he was sure they’d been great.
Alas, the difficulty of being sober, that wasn’t an option anymore.
From: Tony Stark
Oh please. Not like I knew Nebula was coming.
Where’s your spontaneity, Stephen?
“All right,” Tony said, standing up. “Let’s get you set to go and then we’ll go get us burgers and other delicious food so you can experience a proper Terran picnic.”
Nebula nodded, satisfied.
His phone dinged.
From: Merlin
I suppose—since Nebula is present—I can condescend to join you for a ‘picnic’.
Tony snorted.
From: Tony Stark
Please, don’t pretend you don’t like me and Peter. We’re absolutely in your top five people.
From: Spiderling
Top four!
Can we get ice cream?
Tony glanced up at Nebula. “How do you feel about ice cream on this spontaneous picnic?”
“I was partial to your ‘Stark Raving Hazelnuts’,” she told him seriously. “I would not mind if we were to indulge in some.”
Tony grinned at her. He still wasn’t entirely certain whether she really liked Stark Raving Hazelnuts, or if it was because she felt that choosing Stark Raving Hazelnuts was a sign of loyalty—and Nebula was nothing if not loyal—and refused to try anything else. “Stark Raving Hazelnuts it is.” And he supposed he could pick up some Hunka Hulk of Burning Fudge for Stephen’s sake.
The traitor.
They got Nebula suited up in a photostatic mask and glove set before heading out. The drive from the compound to the city wasn’t too long and Nebula spent most of the time factually relaying her adventures since the last time she had visited and texting with Stephen and Peter on his phone to finalize their plans.
They made several stops to gather the requisite food before Tony took them to Central Park.
Both Peter and Stephen were already there sitting on a blanket that Peter had brought, when he and Nebula arrived at the spot they’d ended up agreeing to.
Peter proved his priorities by grabbing the bags of food and setting it on the blanket, plopping down and immediately starting to divvy up the food.
Tony rolled his eyes while Stephen stood, stepping close and pressing a quick kiss to Tony’s lips. Nebula and Peter made a simultaneous disgusted noise as though he and Stephen had started making out in front of them. Tony considered flipping them off, but then decided it was probably not a good idea to set a bad example for Peter and the gesture would be lost on Nebula anyways.
He stepped away from Stephen and grinned up at his sort of, kind of boyfriend.
Stephen smiled back at him.
“Food,” Peter called out, interrupting the moment. “And I’m starving, so if you don’t sit down and eat I’m stealing your food too.”
“I brought enough for even you,” Tony said. Still, he and Stephen both sat down and grabbed their plates and hamburgers.
Tony looked around at the group and their spontaneous picnic, Peter hoarding the food, Nebula examining everything with her careful scrutinization, Stephen sending a knowing smile in his direction.
Huh.
Kinda perfect.
#stephen strange#tony stark#peter parker#nebula#fic#ironstrange#this got way too long#but I wanted to write some Nebula#so there we are
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transcript + more info
berenice: aha! she'll never find me here watcher: you mean 'here'? "in moonwood mill, my most favouritist of worlds 'here'?" berenice: ahhhh! i mean, i didn't do it? i've been framed. it was the full autonomy, i swear... watcher: did you just sign up for deanna's bachelorette? berenice: maybe... yes? watcher: do you even *like* other women? berenice: i like other women! i have other women... friends?? watcher: *SIGH* watcher: berenice, this kind of stuff just doesn't happen in real life berenice: what kind of stuff? watcher: he will never like you back like that berenice: he? who's he??? watcher: don't be obtuse, i can see your moodlets berenice: well this isn't real life because i'm a pixel! silly you, watcher...
BERENICE "BERNIE" SMALLS
Young Adult • Ciswoman (she/her) • Physics Major (incoming senior)
TRAITS: genius, overachiever, cringe, paranoid, socially awkward, creative (bonuses: mentally gifted, always welcome, morning sim, night sim, storm chaser)
MISC: Valedictorian and championship chess captain at Copperdale. Actually wants to catch lightning in a bottle someday.
(This is a mischief interaction. She's not evil - just a disaster.)
By day she’s a straight A student, freelance programmer and budding Plopsy empire builder - and a shoe-in for valedictorian to the point where most would happily bet their own mother’s mortgage on it (yeah, please don’t actually do that).
By night, however? A cheater cheater pumpkin eater! Well, not quite (the pumpkin eating allegations however are indeed true).
Her secret? She’s a spellcaster. Her other secret? Plentiful needs potions - and lots of ‘em.
Yes, you too could manage the highest GPA in the school plus every extracurricular that didn't throw you out on your rear end (she and that dungeon master still aren’t on speaking terms), tutoring, plus a fulltime job and another part-time job, had you the equivalent of 24 usable hours in every day.
Obviously this isn’t illegal, as the greater pixel world doesn’t know about spellcasters (see: my legacy heir who still freaks out over her spellcaster husband, brother and her three children). And there’s nothing stopping anyone from washing down caffeine pills with red bull that doesn’t actually give you wings (though Berenice could attempt a potion for that). Aaaand it could be argued that werewolves who can recharge extremely quickly with a wolf nap and vampires who don’t need to sleep at all should not occult their way through Foxbury's hallowed halls.
But there’s a difference between being thought of as just that amazing, and being thought of as significantly less amazing, because any fool believes that they can achieve what Berenice does with all that extra time she has.
Why is she entering this competition? A very good question. Well, it may be called ‘Dating Deanna,’ but this dumb smart girl has a completely different York in mind. Namely Deanna’s brother Joey, who she’s had a massive crush on ever since she met him one summer holiday in Tartosa.
"I've got this!" "I don't got this..."
She therefore signed up on a whim, and while hindsight is currently coming down on her like a tonne of bricks, she’s too obstinate to pull out now. Bernie Smalls, quit a thing? Never!
PERMISSIONS
All in - feel free to message me!
In terms of romance with other contestants, as she's a 'troll' concept have at it. Maybe not woohoo though since she's still trying to determine her sexuality.
She would be very open to flirting - and well, anything else with Joey. Will she get the opportunity? I highly doubt it but this experience can be a moment of growth for her 😆
(iou a sfs zip after dinner and other adulting!)
@changingplumbob's dating deanna bachelorette challenge (i am so sorry deanna)
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Just an observation.
Jungkook never really congratulates Jimin in public for his anything Jimin achieves. BBno1 and now Daesang. I know I know people going to say he doesn't have to do it in public cause he does it in private for sure. All that's fine. But ever wondered maybe that's why people question Jungkook's affection towards Jimin? His solos, tkkrs and even many army too?
Quick question anon,
Who does Jungkook ever congratulate publicly? As far as I know Jimin is actually the highest person Jungkook has congratulated publicly or publicly hyped. Did you forget about the solo era? Did you forget about Jungkook publicly congratulating Jimin for his win at Music bank? Who else do you see him congratulating for stuff like that? Jimin is literally the highest member Jungkook hypes PUBLICLY so wdym? I would have understood if he frequently congratulated others but didn’t for Jimin but he literally doesn’t do it for anyone much.
It’s funny you are talking about Daesang when Jungkook was literally on Jimin’s post not even up to a minute after he posted and the funniest thing is, I am sure if Jungkook usually congratulated him publicly, some people like you would have come into my inbox with questions like “why does Jungkook only congratulate Jimin in public? That means they don’t see each other in real life because if they did he would have congratulated him in person not on Weverse” true or false?
Jikook are literally together, they wake up everyday and see each other and actually talk to each other yet you want Jungkook to come online posting congratulations again why? When he probably already congratulated Jimin immediately they heard the news.
Jimin also didn’t congratulate him on his win publicly and also didn’t congratulate Jk on other things publicly yet I didn’t see you ask this question about him. Why anon?
Edit to add:
Jungkook didn’t say anything about Jin’s album publicly but I don’t see anyone questioning his love for Jin. He literally didn’t say a word about Tae’s album last year either but I don’t see anyone questioning his love for him yet people want to question the one he spent the entire solo era hyping, literally keeping up with all his songs and purposely going live to watch him? Yea right!
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⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ so high school — ethan landry
ᡣ𐭩 word count: 2,2k
ᡣ𐭩 pairing: football player!ethan landry x tutor!fem!reader
ᡣ𐭩 summary: ethan is smitten with his tutor and invites her to his game. at the after party, he decides to finally confess his feelings.
ᡣ𐭩 content: tutor. football player. fluff. high school themes.
the radiant sunlight illuminated the side of y/n’s face, making her soft skin glow. ethan felt hypnotised, unable to look away or think about anything else other than how ethereal she looked. he should focus, the literature assignment was due soon and ethan still didn’t comprehend any of aristotle’s ideas. but hell, how was he supposed to concentrate when his tutor was so captivating?
“ethan landry if you don’t start paying attention-“ her poor attempt at pretending to be intimidating made him smile, she was so adorable.
“too much aristotle for today, let’s talk about something else.” ethan gave her his most charming smile.
“since i started tutoring you two months ago you’ve said that exact same sentence…” y/n made a deep thinking expression. “every. single. session.”
“and you oblige…” he copied her expression. “every single session”
“maybe you need a tutor with a firmer hand.” she joked.
“hey, if you want to punish me for being a bad student, i’m all for it.” he smirked mischievously
“if you want it, then it’s not a punishment. also, is that a kink of yours?” y/n smirked.
ethan gasped, and covered his mouth in an overdramatic way. “what a scandalous question! where’s the shy girl that walked into this very library two months ago?!”
y/n rolled her eyes and a small laugh escaped her mouth. “you’ve corrupted me.”
“let’s drive the conversation somewhere else. too many dirty jokes are going through my mind right now.” he shook his head. “let’s talk about tomorrow’s game.”
she cocked an eyebrow “what about it?”
“well, are you going alone or…?” he asked as if it were obvious
y/n laughed. “i’m not going with anyone.”
ethan tried his best to hide how relieved he was by that. “okay, cool. i can ask my sister to save a seat for you.”
“sorry, let me rephrase my sentence. i’m not going, period.” she said again.
ethan looked both betrayed and appalled as he exclaimed “but it’s a very important game!”
“eth, i adore you but i truly don’t care about football.”
butterflies fluttered all over his stomach at her words and his heart did cartwheels on his chest. “please come to my game, y/n/n.” his big brown eyes were pleading and she was left defenseless.
puppy brown eyes were the strongest weapon ever created, and when they came with a face like ethan’s, there was no other option but to surrender.
“ugh, fine! i’ll go.” y/n groaned and ethan started cheering loudly, causing the librarian to shush him.
“sorry, ma’am. she just gave me the best news ever and i got excited, i’ll stay quiet now. i’m sorry to disturb you.”
the librarian’s angry expression turned soft and gave the football player a ‘don’t worry’ smile. well, at least y/n wasn’t the only victim of his dangerous charm.
the worst thing was that he didn’t even do it on purpose, he just naturally exuded sweetness and you could tell he didn’t held a single malicious bone in his body.
y/n’s feelings towards him were so intense and overwhelming she didn’t know what to do with them. especially with the big question hanging over in the air—after she was done tutoring him, will he still acknowledge her?
“in all seriousness,” ethan started as they exited the library and made their way to his car “you don’t have to come to the game. i mean, i want you there but not at the expense of your comfort.”
god, he made her swoon. he was the sweetest guy she had ever met. y/n felt like she was back in high school, experimenting her first crush. “i’ll be there, i swear.”
“scout’s honor?”
“scout’s honor.” she affirmed.
he smiled, satisfied. “need a ride home?” he twirled the keys on his finger, and y/n didn’t know why, but she found it insanely sexy.
“no, thanks. i feel like walking.” she smiled. “see you tomorrow. break a leg.”
“leave my legs in peace, please. i kinda need them for the match” he said, making her laugh. heat spread through his body at the sound, ethan was so gone for her. “see you tomorrow.”
and in an act of bravery, he crouched down and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. both teenagers went home smiling as if they had won the lottery.
y/n’s hands trembled as she followed the mass of people wearing blackmore’s football jersey. her reflects were quick enough to grab a seat near the field, and soon enough the benches were full.
she looked around the open space, seeing people talking animatedly with each other and socializing while she sat there alone, with her sweaty hands rubbing against the fabric of her emerald green jeans. she felt out of place, and the scene made her realize just how lonely she was. so immersed in getting good grades, she’d forgotten to… live. to truly let herself enjoy college in all aspects.
the only friend she had made so far was because of tutoring. if it hadn’t been because ethan was awful at literature, she would be friendless. so she sucked it up and locked away the urge to go back home. ethan wanted her there, and she didn’t want to disappoint her only friend. if this was important to him, then the bench was were she needed to be at the moment.
a hand on her shoulder brought her out of her thoughts, and when she turned her head to the side, a bit startled, finding two green eyes and bright orange hair.
“sorry! didn’t mean to scare you. y/n, right?” the gorgeous red-head asked.
shooting her eyebrows up in surprise, y/n nodded. “yes… do we know each other?”
“yes, well, no. we’ve never met, but my brother talks about you non-stop.” she smiled sweetly. “i’m quinn.”
ethan’s sister, her brain screamed, and she tried to keep her cool “oh, hi. nice to meet you.”
“ethan said, well, more like hoped, you were coming. he mentioned this was not your scene, so we saved you a seat with us so you wouldn’t be alone.”
y/n blushed and her heart melted at the thoughtfulness. she didn’t know who quinn meant by ‘we’, but she was grateful nonetheless.
ethan’s friends greeted her like she was one of their own, and they mentioned countless times how ethan would talk their ears off about her.
“there’s ethan!” tara told her, pointing at the tall man with the number 13 on his back.
ethan was always beautiful, but when he was in his element the word ‘beautiful’ felt short. she couldn’t find the words to explain just how mesmerizing ethan was in his football gear and with a cheshire cat smile on his tailored face.
the people in the stands cheered for the quarterback, and y/n joined in once the shyness faded away. then ethan caught her eye, and if he was glowing before that, now his joy was blinding.
he jogged towards her, wanting to talk to her before the game started. her heart beating faster and faster with every step he made. and when ethan reached her, they both stared at each other with love sick smiles and cheek pinks accentuated by the twinkling lights.
“you came.” he said in a mix of relief and gratefulness
“of course i did, you wanted me here, didn’t you?”
“more than anything else.” he replied sweetly. but then the coach started to yell at him to get back to the field. “sorry, gotta go. but thank you for coming, i’ll see you at the after party”
he ran back to his teammates, who greeted him with whistles and playful shoves which made ethan turn ever redder. but he didn’t care about his friends’ teasing, he was on cloud nine and he was determined to make this game the best he’s ever played. for y/n.
the stands of blackmore university erupted in cheers the second the board indicated the end of the final game of the season. the team lifted the star player of the game over their heads as they screamed in victory.
once his feet hit the floor again, ethan turned his head towards his people, to find them hugging each other enthusiastically. even y/n was embraced by his friends and that filled his heart with happiness.
“let’s go, captain. we gotta shower, then you can meet your girl.”
my girl, he replayed those words in his head. yes, that sounded just right, and he only hoped y/n agreed.
it was a little over an hour later when the team finally arrived at the party, greeted with applauses and pats on the back. the quarterback’s brown eyes scanned the crowded room, wanting to find the person he had been longing for two months exactly. he was going to do it. tonight, he was pouring his heart out.
“woah!” the boy exclaimed at the same time a familiar voice said “sorry”. they both smiled instantly when they realized they’d bumped into each other. “hi!” they said, and then laughed.
“you were amazing, ethan! my heart suffered a lot every time you were tackled, but it was quite a match.”
“thanks, y/n. i’m really happy you were there, wasn’t sure you’d show up.”
“you know i could never say no to you, ethan.” she said softly
ethan flushed and felt the courage rushing through his veins “y/n i’ve been meaning to tell you… i know we only met two months ago but-“
“ethan! the man of the hour. great game, bro!” one of his classmates interrupted, and just like that the moment was lost.
“thanks, bro.” ethan forced a smile. then took a quick look at y/n, who was standing awkwardly. “if you excuse me, we’re going to get some fresh air.” the classmate nodded and left, leaving the two of them alone again. but the courage had vanished as well as the little speech ethan had in mind. “i’m sorry about that.”
“hey, no. i get it.” she seemed sincere so ethan relaxed a bit. “what were you saying?” she asked
ethan shook his head. “i don’t want to get interrupted again, let’s go outside.”
but just when they thought they could sneak out, one of his teammates caught sight of him and yelled his name, causing the attention to fall on them.
ethan sighed in frustration, but dragged his feet towards the circle of people nonetheless, he was too good to say no. maybe that was one of his flaws.
"join us, landry" chad said
ethan and y/n sat and the boy shoot her an apologetic smile. in response, she sneakily placed her hand above his and squeezed in reasurance. "what were you doing?" ethan asked the group
"marry, kiss or kill." one of the cheerleaders answered. y/n definitely didn't like the way she smiled all flirty at ethan. "lucy, your tutor and me."
wow, dignity left the chat, y/n thought as a wave of embarrassment rushed through her body.
"where are we? in high school?" ethan rolled his eyes. "i'm not answering."
"come on, it's just a game" the blond insisted
"let's play something else" chad intervened, trying to save his friend.
"guess he didn't want to hurt his tutor's feelings" one of the cheerleaders said not to discreetly, and her friends giggled.
now y/n remembered why this wasn't her scene.
"let's play spin the bottle!" she heard tara said, but y/n was trying really hard not to show how the words had hurt. was it so crazy to think ethan could see her as more than his tutor or friend?
on the other hand, ethan was not going to let those girls humiliate y/n. besides, he wasn't ashamed to show how down bad he was for her. "you guys play, y/n and i are going outside. we have some things to talk about." ethan said with a suggestive smirk and chad whistled, making y/n's cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. she couldn't lie and say the glares she didn't feel satisfied at the glares the cheerleader threw her when ethan entwined their fingers.
"fucking finally" he said contently, sitting in a hammock. "been wanting to get you alone since i saw you standing in that bench."
she pressed her lips together, trying not to smile too wide "well, i was enjoying the view there."
"oh, yeah? what view?"
"football players in their uniforms"
ethan frown in displeasure "players? the 's' should be left out"
"it wouldn't be grammatically correct then." she teased
"hmm" he clenched his jaw
y/n laughed "i'm just messing with you, idiot." then took a deep breath before admitting, "i only have eyes for you, ever since i walked into that library two months ago, there's only been you."
he smiled like the love sick puppy y/n had turned him into and leaned down until the tip of their noses brushed. "i have been pretty obvious, but i want to be clear--i'm crazy about you. knew i wanted you since the very first day. be my girlfriend, y/n/n."
her eyes shone like fireworks. "yes, yes, yes."
"woah, okay, someone's eager." ethan teased her
"shut the fuck up."
"this is the part where i say 'make me', right? and then you kiss the fuck out of me."
"god, you're insufferable. you're lucky i like you so damn much."
"i like you, too. please put me out of my misery and kiss me." he pouted adorably.
"first you gotta answer the question"
"what?" he asked confused
"are you going to marry, kiss or kill me, landry?" she smiled
"i'm betting on all three for us two, y/n." he said, and finished melting her heart.
#ethan landry#ethan landry x reader#jack champion#ethan landry scream#scream fanfic#ethan landry smut#ethan landry oneshot#jack champion oneshot#jack champion x reader#ethan landry x y/n#ethan landry fluff#jack champion fluff#jack champion x y/n
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ship in a bottle
with all the time idia spends on his computer, it should come as no surprise that he has plenty of things on there that he’d…rather not be shared. he has folders of (totally legally) downloaded animes, his collection both impressive and highly embarrassing. he even has them nicely organised, into categories like “super underrated, binge when sad. or when happy”, and “terrible ending, can’t have shit in twisted wonderland”. he’s had to tinker with the storage a few times to make it all fit while still running smoothly.
then, of course, his games, dating sims and gachas and horror on occasion. he’s played just about every game anyone’s ever heard of, and then some.
even so, all of that isn’t even close to the worst on there. plenty of people watch anime and play those types of games, after all, and the fact that he likes them isn’t any kind of secret. he doesn’t have anything bad on there, exactly, just things that he’d rather die a slow and agonising death than let anyone else see.
like that one thing—
“idia-san.” azul’s voice breaks him from his trance. idia snaps his head up, blinking a couple times. the board sits on the table, displaying a half-finished word game. “it’s your turn.”
“o-oh, yeah.” idia scans the board in search of azul’s most recent play. he has some odd letters, but he’ll probably be able to make it work—
he freezes.
of course that’s the word azul put down.
he stares at it for a moment too long, hoping that maybe he’d misread it, but the letters don’t change. five of the tiles, in a neat row. does azul know? no, he can’t. it’s just a coincidence. it has to be.
azul speaks up. “idia-san?” he asks again, tilting his head, expression laced with concern. “are you alright? you seem rather flushed.”
“fine!” idia chokes out, squeakier than he’d like. he grabs some letters from his tile rack, spelling out jukebox using previously placed u and o tiles. he doesn’t think azul believes him; hell, not a person in the world would believe such a blatant lie. still, the topic is dropped and the game continues.
—
“you should tell him, nii-san!” ortho encourages, bouncing on his feet. “you want to, so go for it!”
idia buries his face in his arms, his normally freezing cold room feeling way warmer than usual. “i can't! there's no way he'll ever think i'm cool!”
he regrets even telling ortho about his problem. he should have seen this coming. doesn't ortho get it? azul is basically idia's only friend. sevens, he'd rather confess his stupid crush on azul over this, and he can’t begin to express how badly he doesn’t want to do that. literally anything but this.
“azul ashengrotto-san isn’t the type of person to judge his friends,” says ortho. “plus, his affection levels towards you are higher than usual.”
“th-that’s the problem!” idia squeaks. “being friends with him is already, like, a secret route! if he finds out, it's totally game over for me!”
azul is nice enough, but idia is still nothing short of terrified of what his reaction would be. maybe he'd distance himself, stop coming to club meetings or quit entirely. avoid idia at every chance. tell the whole school what a fucking weirdo the ignihyde housewarden is.
(and yet at the same time, idia can't stop imagining, fantasising about the other possibility. that azul would just laugh, reassure him in his own azul-like way, move closer and closer until his hands are on idia's waist, nimble fingers instantly drawn to all of his most sensitive spots. the mere idea, however unrealistic, fills his stomach with butterflies. he can't think about it too long before he feels likes he's about to explode.)
ortho sighs. “it’s worth considering, at least.”
idia mumbles into his sleeves, “yeah, whatever.”
he’s not going to consider it for a second.
—
idia can't get the conversation out of his head. he can't really tell azul about it, can he? no. no way. out of the question, one hundred percent. possible reaction aside, there’s no way idia would even be able to say it.
azul clears his throat and idia snaps his head up.
“apologies,” he says, straightening his glasses. “there was a bit of a tickle in my throat, you see.”
great. of course that’s the phrasing he uses. idia nods, trying his best to act casual, even though the word makes him so panicky and now he can’t stop thinking about it. the way azul says it, how easily it falls from his mouth. he’s obsessed. he hates it.
there's silence in the empty room as azul moves his piece a few spaces. then, as idia is trying to figure out his next move, azul speaks.
“you're blushing again.”
huh?! well, his face does feel rather warm. his eyes widen and he stammers, pulling his hood over his head to hide the pastel pink tips of his hair. ugh. humiliating.
“um, s-sorry. it’s my turn, right—?”
“tell me,” interrupts azul, tilting his head. idia glances over at him, but doesn’t quite look up. “why do you get so flustered when i mention tickling?”
fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck.
it’s idia’s own fault, really. he’s the idiot for thinking azul hadn’t noticed. he was just so desperate, hoping that his most well-guarded secret would stay a secret—from the boy he likes, especially. he must have gotten careless at some point.
he realises azul is still watching him. idia coughs weakly, looking anywhere else. “i-i don’t know what you’re talking about! it’s def just some sort of bug, i’m totally fine…!” he’s talking too fast, too high pitched. it’s not a believable excuse at all.
there’s something dancing in azul's eyes; amusement? excitement? “is that so? then, please,” he gestures towards idia, “explain why your face has gone so red.”
“eh?!” idia hides his face with his hands, peeking out between his fingers after a moment. “j-just…drop it, please…”
and, to his disappointment, azul listens.
—
at least, in a way. he doesn’t mention it outright, but every interaction with him from then on is a constant reminder to idia that he knows (some of it, at least), and he’s not above using it against him.
azul begins to bring up the word as casually but as often as he can, and sevens, why are there so many damn phrases that use it? he jabs idia’s side when he spaces out, squeezes his knee under the table, pinches at his waist when he walks past. each touch is brief, and it only leaves idia craving more.
he can’t take it.
“stop teasing me!” he gets the courage to blurt out over a game of chess one day. he can already feel the warmth creeping under his skin.
azul stares for a moment, and in that instant idia has a sudden feeling of impending doom.
and then azul laughs.
he doubles over, pushing the board away from him as he holds a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. he laughs like idia’s just told him some sort of joke, and idia wants to be annoyed by it, but the sight is just too cute. screw his stupid feelings.
when azul is done laughing, he looks back up at idia. “i'm surprised,” he admits. “i didn't think you'd say anything this soon.”
idia crosses his arms, glaring. his face could easily be on fire and he wouldn't know the difference. he can't say anything. he doesn't know what to say.
azul straightens the frames of his glasses, still smiling. “so, idia-san,” he starts, “what do you want?”
he must be dreaming. idia feels like he’s going to throw up, in some sort of excited way. is this not what he’s been wanting? what he’s been thinking about for ages?
this can't be real.
it takes a while to find his voice. “please,” he whispers. “i want you to t-tickle me.”
and azul…
…stays silent.
idia’s words linger in the air, neither of them moving an inch. idia stares a hole into the table, his hands trembling as he clenches them.
azul isn’t saying anything. he’s not doing anything. shit, he’s never going to want to talk to idia again, he thinks idia is some sort of freak—
idia stands up suddenly, preparing to run, but azul’s hand grabs his wrist before he can move. idia, finally, locks eyes with him.
“okay,” azul says, smiling so genuinely in a way idia has never seen before. “i'll tickle you.”
and idia stops thinking altogether.
azul guides him to the ground, lays him on the floor of the classroom and hovers over him, practically straddling him. their position in the end would surely give anyone who walked in the wrong idea; but then again, maybe that assumption wouldn't be too far off.
“okay?” azul asks once they're settled, tilting his head. he's waiting for idia's go-ahead—as if he would say no.
idia can't find the words in him, so he merely nods.
he flinches almost violently when azul's fingers meet his stomach, both because his hands are cold and he knows what's coming. he gasps in a breath of air, but it doesn't matter. the moment nails begin to drag across his skin, he falls apart. he couldn't keep from laughing if he tried.
“az-azuhul-shi! wait, plehease, please…!” he doesn't even know what he's begging for. he doesn't want it to stop, but he doesn't think he could handle any more.
azul giggles, a light sound that barely carries over the sound of idia's desperation. “please? is this not what you've been waiting for? make up your mind.”
idia can't remember ever laughing this hard. he doesn't even remember the last time he was properly tickled, if it ever happened at all. he didn't know his body could even be this sensitive; it's overwhelming, any attempt at a coherent thought being instantly washed away.
yet at the same time, it's euphoric. he can't deny that he loves this, even as azul manages to find the spots that make him practically scream. it's such a relief that all the classrooms are soundproofed.
“please,” he begs, “dohon’t stohohop!”
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Seemingly satisfied, Kirijo-san addresses the whole team at once.
An uncomfortable quiet settles over the room. Shinjiro gets it. S.E.E.S. had given them a purpose, and as glad as everyone is to see the end of the Dark Hour, having that purpose pulled out from under your feet isn’t easy. He knows it’s got to be especially rough for Aki, with the bullheaded focus he always throws himself at a goal with. He can’t even imagine how much tougher it is for Kirijo, who’s been fighting her way to this moment for most of her life.
He’s not one-hundred percent sure how everyone else truly feels about it, but as for himself? Shinjiro can easily say he won’t miss it.
He hadn’t picked up an evoker that first time with any kind of greater purpose in mind, and he hadn’t been looking for one either. All that’d mattered to him was having Aki’s back if he was hellbent on putting himself in harm’s way.
Maybe at one point he’d started to feel some sense of duty about getting rid of the Dark Hour, but that was a long time ago. Two years is more than long enough for the idea of “duty” to start looking worthless in retrospect.
And it wasn’t like he’d come back because he’d suddenly found that drive again, either– that had been about settling his debts. If anything he did also helped Aki and Kirijo get rid of the Dark Hour, then he was glad to do it, but that wasn’t his battle to win anymore.
The triumph and normalcy Kirijo-san mentions next don’t feel like his prizes to claim either. He still doesn’t know whether he’ll even get to, let alone what to do with them if he does– but no one else seems to, either. If he asked Aki or Kirijo about it, they’d probably answer with some cheesy declaration that they’ll ‘figure it out together.’ He can practically hear exactly how they’d say it.
…He can’t deny though, that being clueless together does sound less daunting than being clueless alone.
He’s been getting more and more sentimental these days. He isn’t sure how he feels about that.
Kirijo crisply banishes the growing awkwardness before it can put down roots, and finally they settle in to eat. The fish tastes every bit as good as it looks– it’s the best he’s ever had, no question.
Shinjiro stays where he is, but most of the rest of the team wanders around playing musical chairs with who they’re talking to and what kind of sushi is within grabbing distance. At one point Arisato sits next to him, eyeballing several pieces of tuna philosophically for nearly a full minute before finally choosing one.
He still doesn’t eat it right away. Instead he examines it like he’s getting ready to paint a portrait. He’s still looking at the fish when he speaks to Shinjiro.
Arisato just shrugs, ambivalent as always, and finally eats his sushi now that he’s memorized it. He didn’t deny it, which Shinjiro is going to accept as an admission whether Arisato likes it or not. It’s still annoying how unbothered he is about the whole thing– about most things. What Shinjiro wouldn’t give to be able to tap into a little bit of that kind of nonchalance on command.
Arisato moves on to scrutinize the grilled eel next and Aki immediately takes his place and reignites an old favorite argument of theirs over the merits of tuna versus salmon.
Junpei suggests taking a photo to commemorate the evening, then promptly turns it into a disaster– which probably makes it the best possible representation of this pack of absolute weirdos. He’s never been a fan of getting his picture taken, but… he does kind of want a copy of this one.
The night goes on. The sushi dwindles and so does the conversation as everyone starts settling into a state of well-fed zen. Shinjiro crosses his arms loosely and lets his head loll to rest on the back of the couch. He feels satiated and drowsy, and so content that it kind of loops back around to be a little alarming from just how unfamiliar he’s become with the feeling.
Everyone else on the team offers some kind of agreement, except for Koromaru. While Takeba scolds Junpei over trying to give a dog raw fish, Koromaru slinks over to sit on Shinjiro’s feet and sulk.
He rubs one of Koro’s velvet soft ears between his thumb and forefinger and mumbles a promise to make him something special tomorrow.
He looks over to Arisato, who offers nothing but a stone-faced thumbs-up. Shinjiro rolls his eyes. Arisato adds a second thumbs-up and exactly zero changes to his expression. Typical.
They laugh and Koromaru yips happily, his tail wagging a mile a minute.
Like someone just opened a door and let in a gust of chill November air, a thin shiver skims its way over Shinjiro’s back, leaving his muscles tense in its wake. The feeling that something is about to go horribly wrong resurfaces with a vengeance.
Shinjiro glances at the clock– one minute left.
He’s not the only one feeling all kinds of anxious– in the back of his head he can feel his Persona, still as a frozen pond but uneasy and alert. Aki catches his gaze and they share a knowing look. They’re both thinking the same thing.
The last second until midnight trips past.
The Dark Hour descends.
#shinjiro aragaki#junpei iori#akihiko sanada#persona 3#p3#persona 3 reload#yukari takeba#takeharu kirijo#fuuka yamagishi#still breathing au#sbau main plot#sbau canon#sbau november#sbau november 4#talksprites and fic#edited sprites#sprites edited by seth#shinjiro pov#(dun dun DUNNNNN)
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yahoo!! ty for the taggg :3 I’m gonna use my ocs Scarlett and Lucy
Have you ever dyed your hair? If not, do you want to?
Scarlett: I haven’t! I like my hair colour. But if I did, I’d definitely want to dye it purple! It’s such a pretty colour, hehe~! Maybe like a deep purple, you know?
Lucy: No, but I’ve gotten highlights before. I almost impulse dyed it blonde one time, but I don’t think I’d want to dye it in the future.
2. Who do you hate and why?
Scarlett: Oh, I don’t hate anyone! At least.. I don’t think I do! I can’t really remember much from when I was alive..
…But there are.. faces.
Lucy: Anthony. The old one, not the new one. Fuckin’ asshole. He thought he was so much better than everyone. Prideful prick. Took a bunch of money from me, too.
3. Where do you live? Do you like it?
Scarlett: Uhm.. I don’t know what to call this place! The spirit world..? It’s pretty cool, I think! I’ve made a lot of friends! And they all look like me, so nobody gets freaked out! That’s really nice.. I like that part a lot.
Lucy: Some old Victorian house. It’s pretty cool, I guess. Big. It’s got good views, so I can do a lot of landscape paintings here. That’s a plus.
Next questions are:
Are you quick to hold grudges? If so, who do you have a grudge against?
What’s your biggest fear?
If you could have anything in the whole world, what would it be?
Tagging: @sillysillynoodles @queenoforeos (no pressure!) and anyone else who wants to join! :D
OC Questionnaire
Thanks for this one, @leahnardo-da-veggie! We'll answer for Paris and Antonio today :D
If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?
Antonio: "Oh, I dunno. All my friends camping out in my huge house and myself cooking them dinner every night." Paris: "...For my mother to be comfortable enough to stop working herself to the bone."
What is your most treasured possession?
Antonio: "Eh. Possessions come and go. I guess my shoulder holster, because it's fitted to me, but I'm sure I could simply find another." Paris: "My violin."
Do you think you could win in a fight against your nemesis?
Antonio: "I have so many enemies...if I've learned anything recently it's that I need a little help. With my friends? Of course, we could." Paris: "My nemesis is cold weather and less work and cracked palms and hungry nights. I lose the battle every day."
Did NOT intend to answer the last one for Paris that way, but he seized ahold of me and wouldn't be silenced. So. Okay, edgelord. 🙄
I'll pass on the tag to @indecentpause @asher-writes @tragicheirs @sleepyowlwrites @writernopal and anyone else who sees this and wants to answer these new questions!
What does tomorrow look like?
Favorite color, and why?
Whom do you love the most?
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i think a lot of Americans (obv not all of them) get their politics and morals from movies (known bastions of nuance and the plurality of human experience, she says, fully sarcastic) and idk man. is it just that convenient? does our entire cultural consciousness (which is so entwined in this one-street hero’s journey narrative) have to dictate how we see the world?? as someone who works in arts and entertainment it can all start to feel so empty and soulless and just. stupid. The “lessons” of our most beloved franchises are less than dogshit nothing and they are internalized from a very young age. just. Absolute baby ideas about good vs evil enshrined into our culture the way christianity kind of is (and often these things are often also connected). and not all of them started out that way bc typically that’s not in the heart of artists but it is in the interest of whoever has to sell it. ig what I’m trying to get at is that escapism can only teach you so much abt other people so um. don’t let it be the Jedi master to your Kylo ren. Or whatever
#capitalism is killing art or whatever but also being raised Christian it’s very telling what my family and parents deemed good media vs bad#and now everything is starting to look and feel like what they thought was good#if you know what I mean I guess you know#txt#star’s thoughts#dl#anyways I’m mostly just overwhelmingly tired of Star Wars and marvel and Disney#it’s not that good stories aren’t being told. they’re always being told#it’s just this specific intersection of Christian Americans who grew up with movies catered to their sense of right and wrong#they don’t ever question it and don’t want to know anything else#it’s infuriating#post disclaimer I know Americans are just people complex as any other people I’m talking abt a specific. annoyance I have with the culture
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LAKE MISSOULA x JONAS VINGEGAARD
credits under cut!
lake missoula - richy mitch and the coal miners // jonas vingegaard - team presentation, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard, tadej pogacar, and remco evenepoel - podium ceremony, tour de france 2024 (belga images) // tadej pogacar and jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // wayward son - rainbow rowell // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // it's down to legs - caley fretz // jonas vingegaard - stage 20, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // a poem on hope - wendell berry // jonas vingegaard and remco evenepoel - stage 19, tour de france 2024 // quora user shulamit widawsky // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 (getty images) // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (flobikes) // 'now the fight is over': jonas vingegaard concedes tour de france battle for yellow, but still aims for second - adam becket // jonas vingegaard - stage 19, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (flobikes) // video: jonas vingegaard and matteo jorgenson consoled after heart-breaking end to stage 19 of 2024 tour de france for team visma | lease a bike - kieran wood // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // 'probably the hardest moment of my career'-- jonas vingegaard on his crash and fight to be ready for the tour de france - stephen farrand // jonas vingegaard's tour de france was a venn diagram - iain treloar // rise up and salute the sun: the writings of suzy kassem - suzy kassem // jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2023 // jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // vingegaard exhausted after tour de france: may cut season short - sjoerd valkering // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 20, tour de france 2024 (belga images) // the thing is - ellen bass // "if you had told me four months ago that i would be second, i wouldn't have believed you" - jonas vingegaard disappointed but proud of his tour de france - ondrej zhasil // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard - stage 11, tour de france 2024 post-race interview (nbc sports) // alfred lord tennyson // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - stage 11, tour de france 2024 // remco evenepoel and jonas vingegaard - stage 21, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - tour de france 2024 // matteo jorgenson and jonas vingegaard - stage 19, tour de france 2024 // matteo jorgenson and jonas vingegaard - tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and tadej pogacar - podium ceremony, tour de france 2024 // jonas vingegaard and wout van aert - tour de france 2024 (team visma | lease a bike)
#obligatory jonasposting#i don’t know if i got the vibe i wanted to capture?? i feel like watching jonas race this year has ultimately been about hope#like the entire thing at its core feels like a leap of faith- of course visma was obsessively running numbers behind the scenes and#trying to prepare him as well as possible#but in the end he still hadn’t raced since april. he still had less than half the preparation and a massive question mark was following#them to the startline#but he still came. and he still believed. and everyone around him believed beyond everything else-#staff. commentators. fans. everyone was holding their breath because they don’t know where to place their bets#so it all comes down to crossing your fingers every time he gets a mechanical. saying a prayer under your breath when he loses 30 seconds.#and then stage 11 comes along! the tension is suddenly resolved and it’s like seeing the sun again!#but then things start to go downhill- but everyone still keeps hoping. the commentators i was watching were still saying “if” instead of#“when” about his podium in stage 21 because despite everything people still had hope! they don’t want to lay down the hammer#and even when he still finished second#the grief still mingled with the wonderful and beautiful fact that he still did it!#you take a step back and against all odds jonas vingegaard came back from the brink of death and podiumed the fucking tour de france!#and that heartbreak and wonder can coexist. you didn’t hope for nothing. the sky is still blue. the sun still shines. he made it.#sorry long tag rant i’m a yapper at heart y’all#me reading or listening to anything ever rn: omg this is so jonas coded!!!#jonas vingegaard#jv#tadej pogacar#remco evenepoel#wout van aert#wva#matteo jorgenson#tdf#tdf 2024#tour de france 2024#tour de france#cycling
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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I used to think ‘I got over my grief about being disabled a long time ago, I’m past it now’ well, no I wasn’t. Turns out having to take two semesters out of uni will poke all those old ‘I’m a failure’, ‘it’s my fault’, ‘I’ll never be able to study again’ buttons 🙃
#worst of all is when I freak out about not being able to study my brain replays something my dad told me when my CFS caused me to#take a year out of high school#which was ‘how are you ever going to do university like this?’#and what I did in the moment was flee so he wouldn’t see me crying#but what I wanted to say was ‘do you think I want this? do you think I’m sick on purpose? do you think I don’t want to study and escape thi#house more than anything else? do you think I don’t ask myself the same question every day??’#anne speaks#I had therapy yesterday and she was trying to remind me that I recovered before and I’ll recover again#but I don’t know if that’s true :( I’m in a CFS flare up right now and that’s terrifying#at least I accepted that’s what was going on early but I thought I was better… please g-d not this again 🫠
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In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3
#vent#oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday?#hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin#just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol#hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often?#laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol#hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps#is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!!#oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!!#like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow#I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!!#now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :)#uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment#I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone#mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it)#anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu#I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my#guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa.#squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou#oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man#2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried#with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah#it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only#gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned#for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new#girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or#emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid#for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much#NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here
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i don’t think i’ll ever fully understand how typical friendship is supposed to work
#what’s the normal level of codependency#is my random questions about mental illness and trauma weird or just like normal bonding#is my expectation for how often i want to talk too high#what are you generally just not supposed to share with people#i know that the answer to all of this is generally that these are rules you make up together#it’s based on the individual relationship#how do i start that conversation so i know?#how bizarre is it to say ‘hey can we review/set boundaries’#what do i do if they think that that’s weird? or somehow emotional labor? just off myself???#i’m SO autistic i just. like i#my friends are relationships are more important to me than anything else#i don’t want to accidentally annoy or bother people fucking ever#and i just want the FUCKING RULESSS#welcome to redd’s autism hour
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@leucoratia Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about him even more
First off, I’m glad this solution seems to be such a hit!! I just couldn’t reconcile the character WD was becoming/had become with what we know of Gaster. So this works well!!! (Despite the questions it raises meta-wise.)
*Rubs my hands together evilly* Okay SO! WD and his relationship with Grandpa here. I haven’t completely decided on anything just yet but I do have some Ideas. Some Notions if you will.
I think there’s pressure to get into the field from family, yes. But I don’t think it was necessarily negative pressure, if that makes sense. Like, I’m not sure it was the kind of thing where they would have been disapproving or upset if he chose some other career, per se. More that they didn’t even consider the possibility that he would choose anything else. Sans is a physicist, Papyrus is an engineer/mechanic/something like that, and they’re both very smart, but WD, oh, he’s the prodigy. He’s the golden child, even for all his quirks and rarities. An anxious disposition and weirdly long tail and unusual font and cracked lip aside, he’s got so much going for him!
I think that, likely, in their efforts to ensure that he didn’t feel any different than anyone else regarding disposition and physical traits/limitations, and that he knew he was ✨special✨ because he’s so smart, his parents probably made it all worse, actually. Not acknowledging that he was, in fact, different and unusual only made him feel more invisible. Which of course made him feel bad, because he was the main focus of his family’s attention. (‘How can I be unsatisfied with when I get so much attention compared to my brothers? Am I just spoiled?’)
He felt he had no time to goof around, no time to play, because he ought to be studying and learning more. ‘Why, with a mind like that, he surely takes after his grandfather in more than just font! Perhaps he will be the next Royal Scientist!’ said everyone. Which, y’know, gets to you as a kid.
While it was only ever meant to be encouraging, the pressure to live up to that was overwhelming. It’s not just that he’s named after his grandfather, it's not just an abstract sentiment for skeletons. He’s got his font. Which, apparently, suggests some other similarities. He’s always The Serious One among his brothers because they’re always goofing off (from his POV anyway) when they should be working! How can they be so lackadaisical? The fate of all monsters rests on them helping their grandfather; how can they be so relaxed just because they aren’t on the clock? Is their pay the only thing that matters to them!? They should be endeavoring to find solutions at all times!
So. Yeah. His mindset is very much shaped by the idea that it’s his responsibility to use his abilities to help others. It’s not as simple as letting his family down. What he wants has never been a factor in the equation, and so he doesn’t linger on it. The way he exists has already dictated his life course. It’s as simple as that. It’s not out of love for others— whether his family specifically or monsterkind at large— but rather out of obligation and responsibility. He does not feel a particularly strong affection towards monsters in general. (The opposite, actually.) He has never seen the surface, and frankly, with as dangerous as humans are, he doesn’t entirely understand why or agree with the idea that getting up there would be a good thing to begin with. But breaking the barrier is the goal that’s been put in front of him, and so that’s what he works towards. Along with the supposedly more achievable goal of “helping people,” despite that being an incredibly vague and nebulous concept with no real direction.
He’s got this whole complex about what he’s supposed to be. No one is actually stopping him from being anything else, but the barriers he’s erected in his own mind feel immovable. If he has all of this ability, how could he not use it? Everyone is relying on him to be as brilliant as his grandfather and carry this mantle, but no one understands the pressure he’s under. No one understands anything! Even Papyrus, who practically never sleeps, doesn’t appreciate why he can’t just “take a break.” If he doesn’t accomplish something, he will never be free from these expectations!
I think deep down that’s why he kind of idolizes sci-fi supervillains? All the intelligence, all the means, and they use it for their own interests! They are beholden to no one, only themselves, and even the “heroes” can never stop them for good. Sometimes, the villains have better motivations than the heroes, even. I think WD’s fantasy, subconscious or not, is being able to go completely off the rails and create and do something utterly selfish. He has some bizarre resentment, I think, against people in general. Maybe it’s envy, in the sense that they lack the burden he does. Maybe it’s some kind of frustration that they’re all just standing around, twiddling their thumbs and waiting for some kind of “salvation” from either the king or from them, the scientists responsible for every other quality of life. If this solution needs to be found so desperately, why is it being left to so few people!? Why aren’t study of human magic and other magical-scientific disciplines a required field in schools? Why is there not a requirement that all who are able work on this pressing issue!?
So. He’s got this buried, probably subconscious resentment. He’s always irritated because of it. It feels like he’s the only one taking this seriously, and therefore the only one who can do anything about it. Rather than be reassured that no one is forcing this on him, his perception is that because no one else will “take it seriously” (read: “work ceaselessly”), it must fall to him. He has to. Because otherwise it will always be hanging over his head.
Now. Grandpa Gaster definitely doesn’t approve of… any of this. (In general, not the supervillain thing. WD is taking that secret to the grave.) Gaster encourages him to take breaks and not work himself so hard. Unfortunately, despite his kindness and reassurance, WD only sees that as, “Look, this is so simple for him that he doesn’t even need to exert effort! He thinks I’m far more capable than I am, he must think I’m accomplishing more than I actually am. I have to work harder so that I can reach that level and live up to this.”
Yeah.
Gaster is quite caught up in his own work, and although he cares very much for his grandsons, I don’t think he’s entirely… connected with them. He doesn’t realize what WD is putting himself through, entirely. He just sees a bright, like-minded young man with a strong work ethic and a love for helping others! Even if he’s a bit prickly and perhaps embarrassed about it. But he’ll come around! Young people are so caught up in how they’re perceived by others; surely WD will mellow as he ages.
(Spoiler: he doesn’t. Or, he doesn’t really get the chance to.)
The biggest difference between them is that Gaster is doing this because he loves people and he loves his work. All his efforts are a labor of love. For monsters, for unity, for freedom, for the universe. WD is doing this because he feels that he must. He is not especially moved by love. He doesn’t gain a sense of purpose from this, he only feels burdened.
Gaster doesn’t quite… pick up on this. I think he would love to have a warm relationship with his grandsons, and prooooobably does more with Sans and Papyrus. WD, meanwhile, has so many self-inflicted mental barriers and blocks and restrictions and obligations that he’s created this artificial distance between them. It really, really doesn’t need to be this way, but unfortunately our perception shapes our reality, and the stronger a person believes something to be a certain way— that is, the less open they are to being wrong— the stronger they shape their reality. Someone like Gaster, who is open to different interpretations and understandings and so on, is more likely to see reality for what it is— but even he’s not infallible, because he is a singular person who has his own experiences and therefore his own perception. He thinks WD is just “at that age” (whatever that means) and is simply trying to prove something or is overly worried about what other people think of him, and that it will pass with time. He doesn’t understand that WD is torturing himself over pressure that isn’t even real.
He thinks it's so wonderful that WD wants to work with him and spend time with him, and oh, he's such a bright young man, he will surely accomplish so much! He's so proud of him.
WD is... not really capable of accepting love (in the form of acceptance or pride) from others right now, because I think he feels like he has yet to earn it, maybe? He's got this impossible standard he's trying to reach,* and he's depriving himself of everything until he can get there. (Which will be never.) He's miserable and it's all self-inflicted. It doesn't even need to be this way. ((He and Seeker (the character) have this in common I think…))
He does love his family. He loves his brothers and his parents (probably?) and his grandfather and his cousin(s). He loves them way more than he'd ever admit out loud. He's exasperated that none of them seem to Get It, but he's so convinced that he's the only one who's right that there's really no telling him otherwise. He doesn’t even know what he wants, only that he doesn’t have it and can’t have it. (Except, he can, of course, if he would just freaking calm down for a second.)
The funny (or sad) thing is that if he could just get past this thing he’s got in his mind, he’d be a much happier, more fulfilled person. If he weren’t busy stressing himself out and running himself ragged (and actually making his own anxiety worse in the process), he’d be a warm, conscientious person and a loving, attentive partner. As it stands, he’s Stress Response Central and essentially is slowly cutting himself off from the people who care about him, rather than rely on them. (This potentially includes Asteri, but their relationship is a whooole different post.)
If he keeps on this path, one of two things is going to happen: he’s either going to end up killing himself (or worse) by falling into the same thing that shattered Gaster in some desperate last-ditch attempt to Fix Everything; or he’s going to crack (no pun intended) under the pressure and burn out in an absolute fireball of metaphorical explosives.
And from the outcome where he doesn’t die/end up meeting a similar fate as his grandfather, there are two outcomes.
So, he’d burn himself out gifted kid style, but like several times worse. Has a complete breakdown and it resigns him to being stuck at home/in bed recovering his mental and emotional energy. But also being extremely depressed and probably rotting a little bit. And isolating even more, honestly.
The good ending would be him slowly recovering and making peace with not being The Only One Who Can Fix Everything, and maybe not even staying in the same field of work (if he can work anymore). The good ending also involves him being on good terms with Tempus again. (But that’s an entire can of worms I’m not touching here.) If he’s anything like me, it’s gonna take a few years (minimum) of rest and recovery after pushing himself that hard. I would not be surprised if he causes some permanent damage to himself (either mentally/emotionally or physically) that renders him unable to work/do what he used to.
The bad ending is that he rots in bed and wallows in depression and mourns the fact that he “wasn’t good enough” to stand up under the weight of everything and Fix It. And he just. stays like that. Isolating himself more and more, refusing to talk even to his brothers. And also Tempus still hates him. And that’s it that’s his whole life. The rest of it is spent mourning and regretting and reliving every decision that got him here, reflecting on all the things he deprived himself of in pursuit of his goal, only to fail and end up unable to have those things now that he has all the in the world. Self-deprivation of pleasure or enjoyment or rest, and for what? To break down under the weight of it all and have none of it anyway. He should have enjoyed what he was offered when he had the chance to accept it.
Anyway, as you can see I have a lot of feelings and thoughts about him (and this isn’t even all of them). I doubt that he resents his grandfather, but I do think that with the way things end up, he feels like a disappointment to him and there’s really no way to ever be assured otherwise because Gaster’s gone by that point. But I guess that’s part of the point, really: that you’ve gotta be okay with where you are so long as you’re doing what you can (to a reasonable degree), even if it disappoints other people. I think WD needs a lot of things but honestly I don’t even know how to begin to help him. He needs to go on vacation.
On an ENTIRELY unrelated note, I may have come up with a really funny (read: “stupid”) solution to the problem mentioned in the second half of the tags on this post.
Which isn’t what I wanted to focus on. I need to work on the stuff I already have going. But. It would be funny and unfortunately sometimes that’s the most compelling thing.
I will elaborate on what this possible solution is tomorrow.
#Thanks for reading my oc rant#there’s. more. but it wasn’t relevant to this post#I mean half of this is isn’t relevant either but. I got carried away. sorry.#seeker talks#wd#🝮 gaster#🝮 universe#🝮posting#btw I also love goopster#(he isn’t quite goopy yet but. he will be.)#sweet eccentric old man….
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