#they discuss EDs openly while knowing i come from a modelling family and have never been ok with my body! not even as a child!

[kalach-cha]

people who are supposed to be my friends stop triggering me challenge

[kasiadances]

To The Bone: A Reaction

Warning: Spoilers ahead

To say I was skeptical when To The Bone popped up on my Netflix page is an understatement. I am always wary of shows or movies about ED or with a character suffering from ED; oftentimes the disease gets glamourized or completely misrepresented. But I watched the trailer for To The Bone, read some articles about it, found out that the woman who wrote it took from her own experiences, and well - the trailer looked pretty damn good so I thought ‘why not?’

I think To The Bone is the closest accurate representation of ED that we get in film and television, and for the most part I enjoyed watching it. It was funny, graphic, and heartbreaking at points. That being said, I think it misses the mark in some places, and instead of being a great film it is a good one. Were there moments that were spot on? Sure. Did some moments make me cry? Absolutely. Did some moments hit very close to home? Yes. But the amount of stereotypes, tropes and cliches that filled the script impeded these successes.

Let’s talk about things I liked:

1) There is a boy in treatment. It is estimated that 10 million men will suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder in the United States (nationaleatingdisorders.org), and since ED is often stigmatized as a women’s disease men are often less likely to come forward with their eating disorders. Many think it’s impossible for them to even have one. When I was in treatment there were three men, all over the age of 40 (age is neither here nor there, but I will be discussing age later). The fact that Luke is a large part of this film helps bring to light the men that eating disorders affect, which rarely (if ever) happens in media.

2) Keanu Reeves’ no bullshit doctoring. I was in treatment with Doctor Strober and a therapist named Maureen (her last name escapes me. Just know that she also had a no bullshit attitude and refused to accept self-pity). I liked that Keanu Reeves wasn’t always present - it is actually very rare in treatment to see the head doctor all of the time. I also appreciated his nuggets of wisdom, his decisions to not pursue the past or parts of therapy he deemed might be unhelpful. There were some things about him and his treatment model that I didn’t like (we’ll get to that later) but for the most part I felt his character was well developed and someone I genuinely liked in the film.

3). The sister. Eli’s sister definitely needed more screen time. Her open, honest, and heart wrenching talk on what it is like as a family member of someone with an eating disorder made me laugh out loud and cry simultaneously. Hers was the only family member that seemed like a genuine person, and I loved that she had a full healthy body. She also said things like: if you ever do this again I’ll punch you in the vagina. What a gal.

4) The moments of humour dotted throughout this script. I laughed a lot in treatment. I also cried a lot in treatment. And screamed a lot in treatment. And kicked and complained and bitched a lot in treatment. Eating disorders are terrifying. They are messy and confusing, not just for those witnessing them but also those struggling with them. And like with all things, treatment and recovery can be filled with moments of beauty and fun, of laughter and joy, of pain and regret. This film does a great job encapsulating the ups and downs of dealing with this disease - shit, the ups and downs of life. Bravo.

Now for the nitty gritties. I’ll start from the beginning and work my way down, shall I?

Issue #1) The stereotype that anorexia is a rich white girl disease is perpetuated in this film. I don’t think it was intentional, but the fact that Eli comes from an affluent family and that they are able to pull strings to get her to see the ‘best new doctor’ in the heart of LA paints a stereotypical picture. Luke, who comes from London and New Jersey (how exotic) makes the comment that he’s there because ‘it’s the best.’ And aside from the one black girl, everyone else is a white girl that seems to be from LA. This does not represent the entire ED community. Sure, it is probably true that people from affluent families are more likely to have the means to go to a treatment facility, but when I was in hospital we had a mix of races and genders and backgrounds. Some of us were well off, some of us not so much, some of us were just lucky that UCLA was the hospital our military insurance sent us to. Hand in hand with this is the stereotype that this is a young person’s disease; ‘a cry for attention by college aged girls’ is how my grandfather put it, and indeed there are only young people in the treatment facility. It is true that there is generally a split between pediatric treatment centers and adult treatment centers (and adult centers are severely lacking; the program that I was in shut down right after I left), however Megan seems to be the oldest one at maybe thirty, and our two leads are both under the age of twenty-one. There is also the stereotype that people can be in control of their ED and that they do it for attention. This was subtle, but when Eli runs away from the treatment center her reasoning is ‘I’m about to get the tube and Dr. William doesn’t even care.’ This statement paired with the earlier scene she has with the doctor makes it seem like she’s pushing herself to this limit because she wants a response from someone else, when truthfully it’s probably that she is spiraling and can’t find a way to stop.

Issue #2) The romance. Luke is a great character. I love Luke. Everyone loves Luke. Even our girl loves Luke, because this seems to be Luke’s sole purpose in this film. He’s great, he truly is. He’s on the tail-end of his inpatient treatment; he’s hopeful, he’s optimistic, he tries to help and encourage the other women (which is actually a big no-no, you don’t want to take care of other patients, that’s not your job). He’s big hearted and big toothed and he’s a delight to watch. The problem is that he is in love with Eli and that is where the film focuses. The other issue with the romance, and Luke’s characterization, is that it makes it look like Luke is almost all better. That once he hits ‘a BMI that matches my age’ tweedly-dee he’s free to go and that’s that. One of the hardest parts of recovery is not the inpatient, it’s not the treatment facilities, it’s what happens after. Luke’s fears are only briefly talked about, his struggle only hinted at, and when he has some semblance of a character arc his response is ‘you’re my next thing’ (to Eli). While it is outwardly stated that this isn’t a healthy outlook, it is never actually commented on and it is insinuated that the two get together in the end.

#3) OUR ONLY POC IS AN OVERWEIGHT LESBIAN WHO BINGES. It is also a stereotype that black women only have BED (binge eating disorder) which is wholly untrue, and it is also a stereotype that all lesbians are overweight. Another thing, I don’t remember this girl’s name. Why? Because all she is there for is to be the token POC. She sits at the table and eats peanut butter with a spoon, has a talk about her way of purging, and make the comment “wow doc, you tryna make me straight” when Keanu Reeves shows up all disheveled. It feels very much that she is only there so they can say that they have a black lesbian in the film, which is sad because there could have been actual constructive thought on what BED is, what her struggle is, what her life story is. Which brings me to

Issue #4) There are only three characters in this movie. Eli, Dr. William (aka Keanu Reeves) and Luke. Everyone else feels like a shadow or a caricature of a person - or characters that started to get developed and were never finished. Pearl is the girl who is obsessed with My Little Pony and ‘has to get the tube’ (by the way, we never see her actually eat). Megan is a pregnant woman in treatment who loses the baby (a story arc that is unfinished in my personal opinion; she simply disappears after the fact). There is the girl who binges and hides her puke in a bag under the bed (and how does no one notice this? Really?) And there’s another girl who is little side kick to our POC who is only there to talk about how she liked to puke up ice cream and make angry eyes at Eli. Eli’s family is a portrait of dysfunction; her dad isn’t present at all, her step mother is a neurotic who always says the wrong thing, and her biological mother is a lesbian who has ‘visions’ and is (whispered of course) bipolar. While there are moments of great dialogue and some of the family responses are spot on, many of the characters were not memorable for me.

Issue #5) The ‘open talk’ about ED tricks and the messages that they send. I’m all for open dialogue; anyone who knows me personally can attest to this, and I do believe that being open and honest about ED should happen in the media where it is represented. That being said, I don’t believe it is worthwhile if we cannot see the consequences of the actions being openly described. It is hinted that Megan loses her baby because of purging, but it is never actually discussed. The topic of binging and using laxatives is brought up in great detail, but never mentioned again. At the very beginning Dr. William comments on the fuzz growing on Eli’s arms, but other symptoms are never mentioned. (Speaking of, one of the nurses says ‘we know all the tricks’ and yet everyone seems to get away with them; what message does that send?) Weight is openly shared but never openly talked about between nurse and patient (when I was in treatment if we had a bad ‘weigh day’ we had to process it right then). Perhaps the worst offender is Dr. William’s statement that Eli needed to ‘hit bottom’ in order to get better. While this is, in a way, true - we have to reach a point where we want to get better and that generally requires hitting a bottom of some sort (mine was me losing my best friend and a heart attack at 21) - he callously states: ‘we don’t like to see them get to bottom because it’s too ugly, but for Eli it’s tantamount’ - specifically referring to her size and health. Eli is lucky that she manages to hike the Arizona mountains and have an out of body experience. She is lucky that she survives, that she makes it home, that she never actually collapses or gets decommissioned. Eli is a lucky, lucky girl - lucky that her recovery comes to her in the form of

Issue #6) Seeing her teeny tiny body on the ground. “Oh my god,” she says through tears, “is that me?” And then she’s on her way to being all better, like it’s that easy, like she hasn’t spent the entire film so deep in body dysmorphia. I am three years into recovery, am in the final fucking stretch, and I still cannot see myself clearly. I still can’t look at old pictures of myself and see that I was too thin. This is something I continue to struggle with every day, and will continue to struggle with until I am recovered. And even when I am fully recovered, there will be some days - like we all have - where I won’t see myself. That is when (as Keanu Reeves so eloquently states) I need to shout ‘FUCK OFF VOICE.’

As I stated above, To The Bone is one of the best ED representations we have; despite my complaints I do think people should watch it. Marti Nixon wrote the screenplay as one who is recovered, and that is clear through the accurate depictions of ED symptoms and so called ‘tricks of the trade.’ It is also clear in her characterization of Dr. William. However, there are many areas where this film falls short. I wish that Eli was not played by naturally thin, beautiful Lily Collins - it is easy to want to look like her even when she is sickly. I wish the girl still struggling with puking in a paper bag wasn’t so healthy looking - or that there was at least a discussion about how you can look healthy and still be very ill. I wish there was even more conversation when the doors were open for it to happen. This film has garnered a lot of talk, and there have been mixed reactions from those who have had eating disorders; I happen to fall on the ‘I got issues with it’ spectrum. I know that everyone’s illness is different and everyone’s recovery is different, but those moments that are universal need to be shared with honesty, care, and grace.

At least one takeaway from this film is that Susan is a great example of all the things to not say to a person with an eating disorder.

Seen the movie? Have thoughts? Please share your comments! I would love to hear them.