#they deserve to let out the inner suffering of carrying the weight of the universe on their back

[pigin-is-so-rad]

This ghost town’s making a ghost of me

[magsmapsmtl]

Gilded Cage | November 14, 2014

[...] Some might like to think of it as having demons, and others would agree in saying that my right brain is just fighting with my left. What is to be made of both sides losing? 

(CW: Mental illness, self deletion)

Well. Here I am. Between a rock and a hard place. Between myself and the world. Between my head and my heart. Seemingly opposite agents and yet…

Here I am. On the fence between objectivity and subjectivity. Between justice and forgiveness. Between the past and the future.

It’s a funny thing when you come to the realization that, your whole life you've been trying to stay balanced, but never once fought. When you fell, you took a while to get back up because you believed you deserved it.

Fighting isn't something I do. I know what I believe in, but I hardly recall ever having to fight for it because I simply did not possess the time or patience. I didn't always know my worth, and at times I would allow myself to disappear to allow others to thrive. Now I'm getting a better feel of my worth as a person, but somehow, I still find myself not fighting for anyone. I used to expect people to get it the first time around or leave me alone. I didn't have time for second chances because I never wanted to be that person again, the doormat taken for granted. When it even came to my own life, I was neither hot nor cold. For the longest time I only feared dying as opposed to death itself: if I was sick, I prepared for the worst; if I had eaten something questionable, I assumed I lived a good life. And for the longest time, I had already contemplated how I’d take my own life, if it ever came to that; only the universe knows…

I've always made it a point in my more personal art to show my inner dualities. But not this time.

This is my lived reality.

Some might like to think of it as having demons, and others would agree in saying that my right brain is just fighting with my left.

What is to be made of both sides losing?

For the first time, I truly feel like I'm fighting for something, because I finally said to myself “I deserve this. I deserve a chance at things being okay.” So far I've lost all the battles, and the war may becoming to an end soon, one way or another. It’s made me see just how much balance I lack.

I am the sole entity responsible for my survival. I am the only one who can weigh me down while still hinged to my anxiety. My arms, weak from carrying the ball chained to my leg, represent my psyche dwindling in the midst of maintaining sanity. Should the ball over the edge, I have two choices: prop myself back up while letting myself suffer from misplaced anxious weight, or let my entire self go while my neck is still chained to what is supposed to keep me from falling into the void.

I never pick fights. But here I am fighting just to get my ass beat again. I'm used to not coming out victorious.

But I’d very much like to stay alive.

"You don't have to be afraid You don't even have to be brave Living in a gilded cage The only risk is that you'll go insane"

[mrsgreenworld]

Ok, here it comes. The one-shot inspired by SCK episode 17 fragman #2.

I don't own any of the characters. They belong to the writers and the production company. This is only fanfiction.

Will Our Love Ever Be Enough

She saw him sitting at his desk, focused on the laptop before him. Serkan Bolat in all his workaholic glory. Only Eda knew him enough now to notice that his focus wasn't really on work. His erratic hand gestures betrayed his inner turmoil. He tried, really hard, to grasp at something familiar, something he had control over. But his body language told her about the weight on his shoulders, his eyes screamed pain. How could she not have noticed it before? So naked and out in the open - his suffering. The kind of suffering that even a control freak like him was not able to tame.

But of course she had been too consumed and blinded by her own pain. Only that initial pain was nothing compared to this. This was so much worse... However, it didn't feel worse.

When Serkan had broken up with her it had been akin to having her heart ripped out. She had physically felt that heartache. But now... Now she felt strangely numb. Maybe it's just like with physical pain when it got too much - the body went into shock, a person stopped feeling anything and eventually passed out. That's what she felt like - passed out. Or maybe that's what death was like?

Those first moments after she had finally discovered the truth, when she had learnt about her and Serkan's shared pain, it almost seemed like they had turned into her parents - two people buried under the weight of that wall. Two people who eventually surrendered to death. What was death anyway? Was it really this nothingness? When there's no more pain, no anger, no regrets, no tears, no words...

Was it the why? Why he had hidden this from her? To spare her this horrific experience of dying while actually being alive? It must have been it. And now she thought that maybe had the situation been reversed she would have wanted to shield him from this too.

But it didn't matter now. Now they were both suffocating under the ruins of that wall and it was time to set at least one of them free.

So Eda got up from her chair and moved to one of the slightly open doors to Serkan's office. She rasped her knuckles on the metal surface before entering. Serkan's head shot up as soon as he heard the knock.

"Eda?"

"Could we talk for a little bit?"

"Hm.. Yes. What is it? What do you want to talk about?"

Before answering him, Eda turned and quietly closed all the doors to the office.

"What are you doing?" Eda could almost hear the panic in his voice.

She turned to face him again and saw that he rose from his desk and stepped away from it.

"Just making sure we have some privacy. It's better if we discuss this behind the closed doors"

"Discuss this? What exactly this is?" he stubbornly insisted on playing dumb.

Eda moved closer to Serkan until she stood right in front of him, with only a step separating them. She saw it now - the thing he was so desperately trying to hide. And he was good at it. At hiding and pretending, at blocking his emotions. Had she still been unaware of the truth she might have actually bought his emotionless charade. But now it was before her, clear as day - the same feeling of death and nothingness she was carrying.

She took his face between her hands and felt him shudder.

"Serkan. There's something" she started softly.

He lifted his eyes to her face and she witnessed how they overflowed with agony.

"There's something you're not telling me"

"There's nothing, Eda. I know you think there's something more but honestly there isn't. I've told you many times. It's just me. It's the way I am. I wish I could..."

"Ok, stop!" she interrupted him with a little bit more force than she initially intended.

She closed her eyes feeling a tiny tug of frustration.

"I know" she said on an exhale and opened her eyes.

She saw panic replace the agony in his.

"Wh-what?"

Since when did Serkan Bolat stutter?

"I know everything. I know who's responsible for what happened to my parents"

"You... You know? How?"

"Does it matter? I know"

Shame and raw suffering distorted his face and he tried to get away from her but Eda didn't allow it, still holding onto his face with one hand and sliding her other hand to rest over his heart. She felt that erratically spasming muscle, ready to burst through his chest right into her palm.

"I also know that it's not your fault" she told him softly and slowly because she wanted him to soak in her every word.

"How can you say that?"

"How can I not say that? That's the only undeniable truth. And I want you to understand it. That's not your fault nor your responsibility"

"My family, my father did this to you, to your family!" he sounded almost hysterical.

"You're not your father"

He wanted to argue, wanted to move away from her again but Eda only held onto him tighter, closing the tiny space between them so that their chests were now pressed together.

"Look at me! And listen to me carefully, Serkan Bolat! You're not your father. You're not responsible for his mistakes. You had nothing to do with my parents death. Do you understand?" she told him with conviction, staring straight into his shattered soul.

"But... but I... I didn't tell you. I hid it from you. I broke your heart"

She nodded sadly.

"You did. But I know why"

"You do?"

It tore at her to see all that agony and panic in his eyes be replaced by a fragile hope.

"I do"

"Do you... hate me?"

She shook her head "no".

"Why?"

She then shared her own hidden truth:

"I could never really hate you. Because I love you"

All breath left him after this and hot tears started raining down his face burning the fingers holding it.

"You're here" she uttered softly, then reached for one of his hands and placed it over her heart.

"How can you love me?" he wondered.

"I just do. There isn't really any why when it comes to love. We don't love people for something but rather despite everything"

She saw his eyes shine with even more hope and she hated what she was about to do.

"But..."

"But?" Serkan's eyebrows drew together in confusion.

"Sometimes love is not enough"

"Wh-what are you saying? What do you mean love is not enough? Why are you saying this?"

He finally managed to break free. He almost jumped away from her and leaned on the back of his chair for support, also effectively putting it between them like some sort of a barrier.

"I am saying it because it's true. And I don't want any more secrets between us. I don't want to leave anything unsaid"

"Ok. So, you love me. But love is not enough. And where does it leave us?"

"I don't know. The only thing I know is that I need time and space to heal"

"So let me heal you"

"It's not your job to heal me. And you need healing too"

"Then we can help each other heal! Isn't it what love is about?"

"No, this is not what it's about. This way we will turn our love into a crutch and I don't want that. I think we both deserve better"

"Don't you think we deserve to be together? To be happy?"

"We do deserve to be happy together. But we won't be until we deal with this. And we cannot deal with this together. Because, despite all of it not being our fault and completely out of our control, we are on opposite sides here"

She saw defeat then morphing into resignation take over him.

"Ok, you're right. We will do what you want. I will do what you want"

"I think it's better if we don't see each other. I will talk to Efe and find a way to finish our current projects without me being here. After that I am going to resign. I will focus on my university studies for now. It will keep me busy and... keep me from you. I will also need this time to think how I am gonna tell everything to my aunt"

Serkan gave her a curt nod.

"I understand. How... how much time? How long will we be like this?"

"I don't know" was her honest response.

He just nodded again.

Suddenly lost for words she took a step back.

"Ok... So... I am glad we talked. I will... I'll go. Talk to Efe"

She hastily turned and moved to the doors when she heard him say:

"I will wait, you know?"

She turned to look at him.

"What?"

"I will wait for you. However long it takes. I am gonna wait"

"You don't have to do this. I cannot ask you to wait when I don't even know how long it will last"

"You're not asking. And I know I don't have to do this. I'm gonna do this for me. And for us. The only way I'm gonna give up on us is if you tell me there's no hope and you don't love me. Since you've already said that you love me it leaves only one question. Is there still hope for us?"

Unable to find her voice she just nodded.

"Great!" he responded with ease.

And just like that he was back to his confident business demeanor. The sudden change almost gave her a whiplash.

"I will see you around then"

She just nodded dumbly again. Then slowly turned to the doors. When she pushed one of them open she heard a quiet "Psst" and turned to see him at his desk. He opened his laptop and said, demonstratively looking at the screen:

"By the way, I love you too, Eda Yıldız"

And just like that she felt the nothingness dissolve and death surrender to life.

[thesabersin]

This is a Demon Skayer OC I created, named Kyogo Shiba. |Age| Formal: 15 Actual Age: 55 years |Origin| Kyogo Shiba used to be a demon slayer, and used to slay demons using the art called Breath of Lava. One day, while fighting a powerful demon, one of his allies were about to get decapitated by the hulking monster's claws. That was when Kyogo stepped in and pushed his ally aside, while blocking the attack from the demon at the same time. However, his defense wasn't enough, and he was thrown back by the demon and was hit by a large boulder, where he ended up getting knocked out. While he was knocked unconscious, his allies were finally able to defeat the powerful demon and went to recover Kyogo. Little did they know, when Kyogo blocked the attack from the demon, he scrapped it's large fingers with his sword, and it's blood flew onto a cut on his forehead. While one his allies were carrying him to find some help, he felt something sharp and pinch the back of his neck. He turned around to see horns that have grown on Kyogo's head. Utter shock struck everyone as they realized that their fellow demon slayer, has become a demon. Kyogo awoke and started to act ramped, attempting to attack his allies. Eventually, one of them was able to pin him to the ground. They then started to cry out to Kyogo, pleading him to remember who he is. After a while of begging and crying, Kyogo was finally able to regain his memories. When he got up, he looked at his hands, and saw that they have gotten more pale. He then touched his face and felt something unnatural. That's when he realized that what he was feeling, were horns, which meant that he was a demon. Horrified, he ran away from his allies, never to see them again. After becoming a demon, his life became a dark place. He was lonely, and depressed, and because he was a demon, he wasn't allowed to go out in the sun anymore, which made his life miserable. Time after time, he would witness tragic events where innocent people would be attacked by demons, and then turned into demons themselves. A few times, he would see those same demons be hunted and killed by the cruel demon slayers, who take pleasure into killing "those rotten creatures" Overtime, a hidden hatred for demon slayers started to grow within him. Combined with the despair he was living in, he was only getting angrier, and his hatred grew stronger. One day, he finally gave in to the weight in his heart, and saw Demon slayers as nothing more but unforgivable people who see tragedies, as monsters. He hated how demon slayers had no sympathy for these creatures who were forced to live like this. He understood that these demons needed to be killed, but he was frustrated on how demon slayers only kill demons, not because they need to, but because they believe they deserve to die. He hates how they scoff irrationally at these poor creatures instead of keeping their mouth shut at least. After years and years of living in hell, letting the anger build up, and constantly seeing the things he hates, he decided to make a choice that would change his life forever. He would become a demon who hunts demon slayers. He would search for demon slayers and watch how they slay demons. If they mock the demons or shout angry words at them, he would swoop in and confront them, and ask why they wanted to become a demon slayer. If they give him a poor answer, like saying they wanted to kill demons because they deserve to die, then he would kill them by decapitating them with his sword. If they gave him a valid reason, like saying that they want to protect people demons, then he would let them go. If they give him a reason that's sort of in the middle, like saying words that show you their reasoning, but also shows you their pure hatred for them, then he would let them live, but not after marking them on their forehead with this word. 偽this means fake or false in Japanese. Symbolizing how they aren't worthy of being a demon slayer. One of the problems he had after becoming a demon was that he had partially forgotten his martial art, Breath of Lava. So he had to rely on his basic swordsmanship skills to kill other demon slayers. However, after exchanging in a fight with Tanjiro, he manages to regain his memories and awakens Breath of Lava. Despite having a grudge against demon slayers, he's still willing to kill other demons without hesitation. The only difference is that he has a better understanding of the demons he kills, and doesn't mock them while he's about to slay them. Kyogo's existence was eventually acknowledged by the public, calling him "The Demon Slayer Slayer" or "The Demon Demon Slayer". |Personality| When he was human, Kyogo had a personality similar to Tanjiro's, having a very kindhearted and warm personality, and was respectful to his superiors. He was very mindful and cautious in dire situations, and was very calculated, being able to predict his enemies move and was able to quickly adapt and find their weaknesses. He's very responsible, and possesses leadership abilities, including a leader like mindset. He has such great determination and wont stop at nothing to achieve his goal. He isn't really prideful, and actually has an inferiority complex, believing that his abilities aren't enough to accomplish some tasks, and always points out the flaws within other people. When fighting demons, he's always tenacious and determined to defeat his foe, but he doesn't start spouting insults while in battle. He has some respect for some demons, whether if they gave him a good fight, or if he new they had a sad backstory to how they became a demon. He's very sympathetic, even to demons, and has such empathy to everyone, even to the people he hates. He's very understanding and always listens to people, and when someone's distressed, he would do his best to comfort them. He always tries to control his emotions and tries his best not to get angry, but when he does get angry, it's usually over justified reasons, and he would try to reason with the problem instead of shouting or insulting others. This all changed when he became a demon. Now he always wears a serious look on his face, and is always serious about things. Although he's not as kindhearted as before, he does know when to be more gentle or soft in some occasions. He's straight forward, blunt, bold, and is usually calm and nonchalant. He isn't afraid to insult others if he has a bad impression of them, and he insults people while retaining his calm and nonchalant attitude without showing any signs of irritation, although he does get slightly irritated from time to time. Unlike before, he doesn't have a problem with showing his inner emotions, whether it's anger, frustration, irritation, animosity, or hatred. He doesn't immediately show respect for someone, where as they have to earn it. If the person he meets acts pathetic or pitiful, he immediately loses all respect for them, and disregards them for the sad creature they are. When he gets angry, he starts shouting and screaming and starts to insult, scoff, or mock people who are the source of his anger. He acts very passionate and prideful in an angry fashion when he's fighting someone, always keeping that unstoppable determination within him. When his intense rage is pushed beyond it's limits, he goes berserk and becomes out of control. Screaming non stop and rapidly attacking his opponent while showing no signs of stopping. Despite all of this, there is a soft side of him that never left him. When he gets emotional, he starts to cry softly. Inside of that shell of internal anger and hatred of a demon, is the despair of a suffering man. All this time, he's hated being a demon. He wishes to take back all of the blood he's shed, and wants redemption for the sins he's committed. He wishes he could meet his friends again, he wishes he could be human again, he wishes he wasn't the one suffering, and forced to live in despair. This side of him is exposed when he's forced to confront himself in front of Tanjiro, where he cries out his inner feelings. |Powers and Abilities| With the combined power of being an ex demon slayer and being a demon himself, Kyogo has a wide range of powers and abilities. Super Strength: Kyogo possesses inhuman strength, being able to smash concrete with his fist and can even crush a persons skull. He has enough strength to knock someone back a few feet, or even punch them hard enough that they're organs will explode. Super Speed: Kyogo is extremely fast. He's fast enough to be on par with Tanjiro, and can doge or maneuver around large attacks that any normal human would find impossible to do. He's fast enough to quickly dash to a long distance within a second, and can even bounce around trees by constantly jumping on them. Super Reflexes: His reflexes are a little better than Tanjiro's so to speak. He can quickly doge attacks that are coming at him within a blink of an eye, and can even doge attacks that are coming at him from his blind spots. This is due to his super senses. He's also good at predicting someone's attacks. Super Senses: With the combination of his demon form and his past training, his senses have gone beyond anyone's senses within the demon slayer universe. This includes enhanced hearing, enhanced smell, enhanced sense of touch, and enhanced eye sight. Out of all of his powers and abilities, his enhanced senses are by far the most powerful abilities he has. With his hearing, if he were to close his eyes, he can actually use it for echolocation. His sense of hearing is so good, that even in pure darkness, he's still able to see everything with his hearing. By listening to the vibrations bouncing off of his surroundings, he can easily figure out the shapes of the things around him. He can also listen to things that are miles and miles away from him, and still know the shape of them. His hearing is so sharp that he can hear the sound of a fly landing on a leaf from miles away, and he could still tell it's shape. He can even tell what someone is thinking or planning by listening to their heartbeat, or their blood flow. He can even see someone's internal organs just by listening. With his enhanced smell, he can tell the difference in smell even if the smell is mixed with so many other smells. His sense of smell is actually better than Tanjiro's, as he's able to smell the shape of something just by redirecting the smell that's being produced by the object or being. Like Tanjiro, he can read people's emotions just by smelling them, but his sense of smell is more unique, as he's able to not only sense someone's emotions, but their own thoughts. He's also capable of smelling someone's internal organs, and can see if they have injuries. With his enhanced sense of touch, he can feel the vibrations within the air, just like Inosuke, except much more advanced. If he were to keep his eyes closed, he would still be able to see the everything in his surroundings in such clear vision, as if his eyes were always open. What's interesting is that the limit to how far he can detect vibrations is unknown, since vibrations within the air are constantly touching other vibrations, and Kyogo can follow these vibrations to far lengths until he finds what he needs. He's also capable of seeing someone's internal organs by feeling the small vibrations being created by the persons organs. And finally, his enhanced eye sight. With this, he can actually see the vibrations within the air, or even the trail of smell something leaves behind. He's able to see at almost microscopic level, and can see even the smallest reflection off of the smallest things, like seeing light bounce of a grain of dirt. Since he can see the vibrations within the air, this also means that he sees in a 360 perspective. He can also read someone's thoughts by closely examining their expressions, or examining their small body movements. He can even see small internal injuries or even see right through them. Flexibility: Kyogo is very flexible, being able to lift his leg all the way to his head without any tension, or rap the back of his head entirely with his arms. Regeneration: Kyogo possesses amazing regeneration. His regeneration is so fast that he can regenerate cut off limbs in an instant. Enhanced Endurance: Kyogo possesses immense endurance, where he can take a beating that leaves him soaked in blood, with 5 broken ribs and a split ulna, and still have the will and energy to keep fighting at 100%. Enhanced Stamina: Kyogo can prolong a fight for hours without showing signs of giving up, and can sprint for miles beyond miles and never get tired. |Blood Demon Arts| Red Core Burst: He concentrates all of his power within his arm, and then his arm and hand starts to glow orange like lava, while cracking at the same time, exposing the bright hot magma within him. He then punches his target which creates a powerful shock wave that destroys his surroundings. This attack is almost instant kill. Magma Blood Burst: This attack involves Kyogo shooting hot lava out of his hands like a fire hose. The problem with this is that in order to use it, it needs to break through his own skin, which can ultimately cause permanent scaring, or even do fatal damage to himself. However, he manages to overcome this flaw when he evolves during a fight with the pillars and his regeneration becomes stronger. Melting Floor: Kyogo places his hands on the ground, and stores up all of his power into his hands, heating them up to the point where the entire ground, including his surroundings, starts to melt at such incredible speed. Instant Burning Blows: His arms start to glow and crack up, and then he starts to throw extremely fast consecutive punches at his opponent. Each punch is very strong, but not nearly as strong as Red Core Burst. Kyogo can increase his body heat to the point where he'll melt his surroundings. |Breath of Lava techniques| 1st Style: Shallow Lava Strike Kyogo creates a single concentrated slash. 2nd Style: Falling Molten Slash Kyogo jumps over and behind his opponent before slicing them non vertically. 3rd Style: Eruption Split Kyogo creates a large downward slash that splits the ground. 4th Style: Magma Ring Outburst Kyogo spins around while swinging his sword around in various directions to create 360 attack. 5th Style: Exploding Rising Strike Kyogo creates a large upward slash with a large radius. This form can be used with no footing.6th Style: Whirling Lava Kyogo spins around twice to slice two opponents 6th Style: Whirling Lava 6 fold: An enhanced version of the 6th Style, where Kyogo spins around 6 times to slash up multiple enemies. 7th Style: Double DevastationKyogo creates two slashes. One above and one below. 8th Style: Volcanic Rush Kyogo charges at his opponent while creating consecutive slashes. 9th Style: Bouncing Blast Disaster Kyogo jumps around his surroundings while constantly slashing his opponent.10th Style: Total Devastation Kyogo's sword starts to glow like magma, and then unleashes a barrage of extreme attacks that are so powerful, they destroy his surroundings. 11th Style: Spinning Calamity Burst: A style created by Kyogo himself, where he uses two swords and charges at his opponent while spinning on his side at the same time, using two of his swords to spin him around.

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 7

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2,067 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Also on ff.net and AO3.

Well time has a way of throwing it all in your face The past, she is haunted, the future is laced Heartbreak, you know, drives a big black car Swear I was in the back seat, just minding my own

-Gregory Alan Isakov, "Big Black Car"

Now.

“The Bat Signal is not a toy, Ms. Brown.”

Startled, Stephanie swerved around at the sudden emergence of a man swathed in black from the shadows, cloak whipping wordlessly in the wind.  She hadn’t even heard him arrive on the rooftop.

How does he do that?

“You know my name?”

She asked, flustered.

“I make it my business to know.  You’re Stephanie Brown, daughter of Crystal and Arthur Brown, a.k.a. Cluemaster. …Tim Drake’s girlfriend.”

Stephanie blinked, sighing before lowering her mantle and removing the guise’s (apparently ineffectual) inner layer, letting luminescent locks fall free around her shoulders.  (Reasoning that if the cops hadn’t come up to bust her by now, then it seemed rather unlikely they’d show up anytime soon.)  …Wish I knew what the heck to do with my hair under this thing, she thought idly as she combed her hand through the tangles.  Maybe I should try putting it in a ponytail or something.

“Then you probably know why I called you here then.  Sorry about the theatrics,” she gestured towards the spotlight, “But I figured this was the fastest way to get your attention.”

“Tim told you about our history together.”

“Some of it.  He wouldn’t tell me why you two split up.”

There was a palpable beat.

“If he didn’t see fit to explain, then it’s not my place to intervene.”

“Please, Mr. Wayne.”  Those crescent slits narrowed at equally intimate address.  “I think I deserve to know at this point.”

“This isn’t any of your business, Ms. Brown.  I suggest you go home, and get rid of that silly costume.”

Like yours is any less ridiculous.

“This isn’t a game.  Quit before you get yourself into trouble.”

Holy déjà vu.

She crossed her arms frankly, standing firm.

“Tim said the same thing.  I’m getting real sick and tired of hearing it.”

“He’s right.  The streets are far too risky, especially for someone like you.”  There was a rough rigor to his tenor; like a razor blade scraping severely against the grain, incisive and insistent.  Deliberately rubbing salt and steel into the wound until it irritated. “I’ve seen how you operate: rash, reckless, impulsive, impetuous – not thinking before you act.  You might believe you’re being brave – that you’re endeavoring to prove something by jumping directly into danger, putting yourself in the constant thick of threats – but you’re just behaving brashly like a child. A person of your kind doesn’t belong in this field.”

Stephanie bristled at the blunt onslaught, blue irises burning boldly defiant.

“You don’t understand: My dad was supposed to be dead, and now he shows back up again in Gotham like nothing happened – except now he’s committing crimes without even leaving clues.  I couldn’t just stand aside and let him get away with it.  I had to do something.  After all, I’ve got a stake in this.”

Batman made a smothered sound, like a pained grunt – as if someone had just punched him in the gut.

“You sound just like he did.  All you stupid kids, don’t know what you’re getting into.”

“I know that without me you wouldn’t have been able to figure out the next place my father was planning to hit.”

Admit it, that “chopping mall” clue was a stroke of genius.

“And your assistance in bringing him down during the heist is appreciated. But this ends tonight.  You should leave the crimefighting to trained professionals.”

“I just wanted to help…”

Batman took a step forward, looming ominously over her.  His voice was dangerous.

“You don’t know what you want.  None of you ever did.”

Despite the fierce menace in his tone, she staunchly stood her ground, eyes stubborn and challenging as she declined to back down.  Her opponent carried on lecturing:

“You’ve accomplished your mission; succeeded in putting your father in jail.  Now that you’ve gotten your revenge, there’s no more reason for you to continue this fight anymore.  I suppose you’re just doing this now for fun, for the thrill.  Because you think it’s ‘cool’.”

Stephanie clenched her fists.  He had struck a chord, but she didn’t take kindly to being patronized either, her entire motivations being put down, brushed aside just like that.

“That’s not the only reason.  I mean, yeah this just kinda started out as a goof to get back at my dad of course, and sure I’ll confess I do get a kick out of the rush – but there’s more to it than that. I may not be all that smart or skilled at… anything really.  But this – this is something I can do to help others.  People in need.  For the first time in my life, it feels like I’m really doing something worthwhile, that I’m doing some good.  Like I’m making a real difference.  I’m doing this… I don’t know.  Not even for me.”  She turned towards the skyline, surveying over the (for the moment at least) peacefully sleeping city, lights reflecting above and below.  “I’m doing this for all of them.”

Batman stared at her.

“Regardless, this isn’t your responsibility.”

“And it’s supposed to be solely yours?  You’re just one man in a batsuit, you’re not in charge of this town.  You may be able to handle all the crimes within the city limits, but the suburbs don’t have anyone.  Not even you can be everywhere at once. Hell, no one can carry the weight of the world by himself.”

“This is a vow I took on my own shoulder’s, no one else’s.  I work alone.”

“If you really thought that, why’d you agree to take an apprentice on in the first place?”

While visibly there was no noticeable wince, another wounded growl escaped from the cowl.

“That was a mistake.”

“Oh really?  I’ve seen how you operate: Ever since you’ve gone partnerless, you’ve been colder, harsher, overly aggressive, and more unforgiving than ever before.  Everyone’s noticed; it’s been all over news reports everywhere, criminals claiming to be the ‘victims’ of vigilante violence. All the tabloids assume you’ve gone off the deep end, that you’ve finally cracked – or that you were off your rocker all along.  That’s why they say even the police won’t cooperate with you anymore.”  She looked towards the tarp lying on the ground, which had been covering the searchlight up to now.  Lucky for her they hadn’t removed the apparatus entirely.  “You accuse me of being hotheaded, but I could say the exact same of you.  Heck, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you seem to have some sort of death wish.”

“How I conduct myself is none of your concern.”

“It is when there are people suffering for it.  Tim included.  The truth is Batman needs a Robin, doesn’t he?  Since your parents died, you need – want company.  Otherwise you’ll go crazy, doing what you do all the time.  Anyone would.”

Way to play psychoanalyst with the most famous and powerful – not to mention richest – man in Gotham, girl.

Batman held her undeterred gaze.

“…You really do sound just like him.”

Grudgingly, he gruffly acknowledged the comparison – though it wasn’t quite a concession.

Still, Stephanie seized on the opening.

“Seriously, just what the hell happened?  You two used to be such a great team.  You guys were a legend, the ‘Dynamic Duo’ and all that.  Nightwing and Batgirl too, whatever happened to them?”

His answer was aggravatingly simple.

“Things change.”

Why do I get the feeling I’ve heard that somewhere before?

She exhaled in exasperation, sensing the discussion was going in circles. She wasn’t about to allow such curt tautology cut her off though.

“You used to mean something to people.  This,” she pointed purposefully at the symbol in the sky, before jabbing at the mirrored center of his chest, “…used to mean something.  Sure, you could be scary sometimes, but it was clear that you cared.  Now, it’s like all the lives you save don’t even matter anymore.  All that exists in your mind – or your heart, whatever’s left of it – that is, assuming you even still have one – is darkness and dread.  Am I wrong?”

Her assertive allegation was met with stony silence.  Tentatively, she tried to uplift the weight on the conversation somewhat.

“Not everything has to be about fear.  There’s room in our line of work for hope too, you know.”

Again, he merely remained mute, scrutiny slanting into the distance.

All right, fine.  Don’t answer me.

Growing annoyed by such obstinate reticence (which she recognized all too well at this point; it was no wonder where her boyfriend got it from) and desperate for some sort of reaction, she attempted to return again to the original topic – her whole goal for summoning this guy’s big broody butt in the first place.

“Look, I’m sure you’re as aware as I am this isn’t just about me trying to barge in on your territory – your private little crusade – is it?  I don’t mean to pry open old wounds just for the sake of sating my curiosity either.  Something obviously happened between you two – something that changed him – that changed the both of you – and I need to know what in order to get through to him.”  She placed a palm on her breast, clutching and curling fretful fingers against cloth as she bit her lip, baring honest emotion.  “I want to be able to understand what he’s going through, but every time I try to get him to talk about it, he won’t let me near.  Refuses to open up, shuts me out just like you’ve been doing all night.”

His vision panned back slowly, restoring rapt concentration.  Again, those slim slivers of snow were silent, searching – scant headlights scanning in the dark.  Stark and cold against coal, yet somewhere within seemed to spark a vestige of warmth; like stoking, coaxing the burnt out ashes of an old flame to stir and rise again.  To remember.

“Tim means a lot to you.”

“The whole world.  He’s a great guy.”

“Greater than he knows.”

“Please,” she begged, “Let me help him at least.  I’m worried about him.”

He regarded her unwavering expression, gauging sincerity.

“…You really care for him, don’t you?”

She nodded, thinking to herself that- despite his still-outwardly icy demeanor, there was indeed a thaw in his throat, a slight swell of sympathy slipping through the grave gravel.

He rotated with a sharp whisk of cape, heading for the edge of the roof.

“Come with me.”

She followed, taking cue to simultaneously fumble for her cheap grapple as he reached for his own (no doubt state-of-the-art) device.  Whilst descending down the decel line, Batman pressed a button on his utility belt, and a rumble hummed from down the road as a long, sleek, jet-black vehicle charged along the street, skidding to a stop right in front of them as they alighted on the sidewalk.  The hood automatically slid back upon recognizing its owner, inviting within the depths of its leather wings.

HolycraptheBatmobile.

She hesitated as he walked round to the driver’s side and climbed in, casting an expectant – impatient – glance at his guest.

“Well.  Hurry up and get in.”

“O- okay.”

Dear Diary, whatever you do, don’t tell my mom I agreed to get into a strange car in the middle of the night with a shady man wearing a mask.  Pretty sure she’d flip her shit.

She hopped in after, settling against the cozy cushions.  Leave it to a billionaire to be able to afford the best quality sitting material.  Admiring the impressive array of controls on the dashboard, she figured the machine in itself probably cost more than her whole house combined.

“Hang on,” he warned as they lurched forward, “And don’t touch anything.”

Stephanie hastily withdrew her itchy fingers from the nearest knob, sweating nervously.

“Can I ask what this does at least?”

“Passenger seat ejector.”

She shrank back sullenly, leaning slumped into the lavish upholstery.

Mock me at your peril, masked man.

As they sped past buildings and streetlamps, Steph inquired with a hunch as to their destination:

“So are we going to your hideout?”

“I prefer to think of it as a lair.”

She couldn’t tell whether that was supposed to be a joke or not.  Either way, she couldn’t help but feel a hint of giddy excitement at her current situation.  Not many people could proudly proclaim they got to ride in the freakin’ Batmobile once during their lives.

Cool.

Hope was a letter I never could send Love was a country we couldn't defend

And through the carnival we watch them go round and round All we knew of home was just a sunset and some clowns

[100tipshealth]

Your Christmas Day feasting game plan

  Prep yourself this Christmas with our extensive game plan that will see you enjoying the festivities without the guilt. Stephanie Osfield writes.

  Christmas dinner is one of the biggest culinary deals of the year. If you only had to navigate that one day, things would be sweet – but it’s the drinks and parties and picnics and BBQs throughout the festive season that can bite. This means you’re out of your usual routine and not always cooking. You don’t want to look like you’re being all bah-humbug and not getting into the Christmas spirit, so you’ll be eating festive food. But you also don’t want to spend each event battling recriminations because you had too many chocolates.

Overthinking it? Absolutely not. Recent research published in The New England Journal of Medicine showed that in Germany, Japan and the US, holiday celebrations such as Thanksgiving and Golden Week do lead to weight gain. But the biggest kilos spike across the board occurred in the 10 days after Christmas. During this time, Germans gained an average 0.8 kilograms, Americans 0.6 kg and Japanese participants an average of 0.5 kg. And although most of those study participants shed roughly half of that weight, some of it remained. Consider the cumulative impact over time (the term ‘kilo creep’ persists for a reason).

If you’re torn between sanctioned excess and an ascetic festive season with BYO almonds, follow our experts’ plan to have your Christmas cake and eat it.

1. All Or Nothing Thinking

  You Think: ‘I just broke my eating rules – I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the night.’

The Fallout:

“All or nothing thinking is a worrying cognitive distortion that contributes to overeating,” says Sarah McMahon, psychologist and body image expert at Sydney’s BodyMatters Australasia. “It can lead you to eat far more than you would have done if you had just given yourself permission to have a little of what you like.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Be compassionate towards yourself: “The fact is that most of us will eat more ‘sometimes’ and ‘occasional’ food at Christmas time,” says McMahon. “The best thing to do is to allow yourself this pleasure, enjoy the food and trust that you and your body can handle it.”

» Eat mindfully: “When you slow down to savour each mouthful of food, you not only enjoy it more, your body and mind connect, so you start to notice when you are full,” says McMahon.

» View treats as a temporary detour: Yes, last night you had garlic bread and canapés. And today? You’re back on your usual track, eating three healthy meals and healthy snacks.

» Plate up your snacks: Even at parties where you can bring a food contribution like sushi and paper plates to serve it on. “This helps you to see how much you are eating so it is easier to realise when you’ve had enough,” says dietitian and nutritionist Rebecca Gawthorne.

» Serve your leftovers to go: If you’ve had friends over for dinner and know you won’t be able to resist the rest of the cheesecake or lasagna, serve it into take-away containers and send your guests home with the leftovers.

    2. Nostalgia

You Think: ‘I love fruit pudding, mince pies, White Christmas and the turkey stuffing – they all remind me of when I was a child and how easy and uncomplicated life was.’

The Fallout:

“Christmas foods typically have many layers of emotion attached to them,” says McMahon. “Firstly, some of the foods on offer, such as crackling or Christmas pudding, are things you only eat once a year. This in itself can make the food more desirable.

“Often we feel comfort and nostalgia in relation to Christmas food. Unfortunately this can lead us to keep eating more and more to fill an emotional void with food, when in reality, eating that is driven by emotions and not hunger is rarely satiating.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Reality check: “Ask yourself  ‘Am I hungry?’ and, in particular, ‘What am I hungry for?’”  suggests McMahon. “If you know that what you really crave is closeness or connection, honour those feelings and respond to them. Talk to your partner or a trusted sibling about your feelings or write them down. Satisfy those emotions but don’t feed them. Ask someone for a hug or do something nostalgic – look through old photos, or maybe write a journal about your feelings.”

» Give old favourite foods a health spin: For example, if you associate Christmas with fizzy drinks, buy some mineral water and add a dash of a colourful juice like grape juice. Or if Christmas chocolate was your favourite thing, still have a little, but make it a handmade dark chocolate so that it looks amazing (and has health benefits for your heart), and only eat two.

» Channel your inner child: Engage in some games you used to play as a child rather than hoeing into the food. Try board games such as Scrabble and Monopoly, or charades, or picnic games like tag and stuck in the mud.

          3. Using Food To Self-Pamper

You Think: ‘I’ve had a really difficult year and I deserve to give myself this reward of lashings of yummy food and wine.’

The Fallout:

“Using food as the ultimate holiday treat puts food on a pedestal, as though it can magically fix everything that’s not working in your life and make you feel better,” says McMahon. Fast-forward a few hours after the chocolates and chips or second serving of dessert and you will still be carrying the same emotional baggage. But now you’ll have some food guilt to add to it.

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Take just a few bites: Serve yourself a little of the foods you wouldn’t normally indulge in but just take a few bites to satisfy you and don’t eat the rest. Or enjoy just a small sliver of dessert. Research from Cornell University shows that people who eat small serves of treat foods feel just as satisfied 15 minutes later as those who ate far bigger portions. Another study at Stanford University has found that people who ate only three salty crackers were more satisfied than those who ate 15 crackers.

» Seek non-food rewards: Treat yourself to a few great books for Christmas and daily indulgences over the holidays such as enjoying breakfast al fresco or going for a sunset walk with all the family. “Remind yourself that the major perks of Christmas are not the meals but spending time with family and friends and enjoying a break from work,” says McMahon.

» Avoid second serves: Instead, have a tall glass of water or a nice hot cup of tea. If that doesn’t work and you still feel hungry, go back to have a second serve of salad and vegetables.

        4. Suffering Clean Eating Fatigue

You Think: ‘I’m tired of being good. I’m going to feast all through the holidays and work it off at the gym later.’

The Fallout:

“Gorging yourself during the holidays and thrashing yourself at the gym later is a dangerous trap that perpetuates an unhealthy and disconnected relationship between food and your body,” says McMahon. “A feast and famine kind of approach is not helpful to maintaining a healthy weight.” Losing weight is also a trickier prospect than many people realise so you may find that your holiday weight does not all come off, even if you’re working out hard and eating clean.

Christmas Comeback:

» Stick to your usual eating pattern: “If you’re eating out, choose the grilled fish and vegies instead of the creamy pasta," says Gawthorne. Meanwhile, skip foods you would never normally have, such as soft drinks, bread rolls at dinner, gravy and sour cream on your potatoes.”

Eating at a friend’s house? Offer to bring a huge salad so that you can serve a big plate of that and eat less of the more kilojoule-laden healthy fare.

» Work out as usual: Abandoning your exercise routine at the very time of year that you normally eat more doesn’t make any sense. “Exercise makes every cell more sensitive to insulin, so glucose enters your cells more easily,” says Christine Armarego, exercise physiologist from Sydney’s Glucose Club. “This means your pancreas doesn’t need to send out as much insulin to manage your blood glucose levels.” In turn this helps to reduce weight gain over the festive season.

» Remember – this effect is dose-dependent. “Twenty-four hours after you work out, your insulin sensitivity peaks,” Armarego explains. “Within 48 hours it has returned to what it was. That’s why daily exercise is best to keep insulin sensitivity at its highest. If you can’t manage that, try not to let more than 48 hours pass between exercise sessions.”

By contrast, if you’re a couch potato all holidays, “Higher glucose levels and insulin can lead to increased fatigue and make it harder for your body to access fats stores to burn for energy,” Armarego says.

So keep up some kind of exercise all through Christmas. And if at all possible, exercise on Christmas day – either by engaging in a workout after the present opening, or by enjoying a long family walk over lunch.

        5. Starving to Save Up Kilojoules

You Think: ‘I purposely haven’t eaten a thing all day so that I can let my hair down at Christmas lunch.’

The Fallout:

“This is a classic Christmas mistake,” says Gawthorne. “You are likely to be so ravenous that you serve a huge portion and then go back for seconds, which could cause a huge kilojoule blowout.”

Christmas Comeback:

» Eat three meals: Have a simple breakfast of eggs and rye toast and eat a salad for lunch. This will ensure you’re not starving with hunger and supersize your helpings at Christmas functions and then regret it the next day.

» Go for vegies first: “Serve a stack of salad and vegetables (at least half your plate) first then serve the other foods,” Gawthorne suggests. “The more vegies you eat, the more nutrients and fibre you enjoy and the less likely you will be to overindulge in other foods. It will also help portion control the other high-kilojoule foods because you will only have a little room for them on your plate.”

» Choose a smaller plate: Put a larger plate underneath it so it has the illusion of looking even bigger. When you serve your meal, you will feel that you are eating a huge feast even though you are not overdoing your intake of kilojoules.

» Pick three favourites: Rather than go for everything from the roast potatoes and gravy to the crackling, pick three favourite high-kilojoule foods to really savour in small portions. Then fill the rest of your plate with super-healthy salads and vegetables.

        6. Using Alcohol to Unwind

You Think: ‘That champagne is really giving me a nice buzz after weeks of stress. I’m going to help myself relax by having a few more.’

The Fallout:

Because it’s a drink, we often completely ignore that alcohol can pack a powerful kilojoule punch. “Beer, wine, spirits and cocktails are all high in calories and devoid of any good nutrition, so there is no nutritional benefit gained from consuming them,” says Gawthorne.

“While I don’t think there is too much of an issue with consuming small, safe amounts of one to two standard drinks of alcohol on social occasions, it’s important not to look at Christmas and New Year’s as an excuse to drink to excess. This will lead to weight gain and could cause potential health issues (such as hangovers and stomach irritation).”

Remember, alcohol often comes alongside foods like salty nuts and chips that may be harder to resist once we’ve had a few. “And if you’re feeling worse for wear the next day, you may also indulge in a big fatty breakfast,” Gawthorne adds.

Christmas Comeback:

» Make a trade-off: Decide how you are going to spend your kilojoules before each function. “If you want to indulge, for example, in a slice of your favourite Christmas cake after dinner, then you won’t want to be drinking lots of alcohol,” Gawthorne says. “Or if you want to enjoy a few alcoholic drinks, then you might need to forgo the dessert or avoid the high-kilojoule cheeses after dinner.”

» De-stress without alcohol: Not only is the lead-up to Christmas rushed and stressed for many people, but being with family is often super stressful too. So take time to stop and recharge your batteries. That may mean you engage in daily meditation, a morning swim or time out to read a book from cover to cover. The less stressed you are and the more enjoyable your Christmas holiday, the less likely you are to use food as a Christmas feelgood crutch.

  NEXT: Beat the Christmas snacking blowout with these top tips. 

  {nomultithumb}

  Source : Diet & Nutrition http://ift.tt/2kOxEcr from Blogger http://ift.tt/2BkM92G

[wolfieonatypewriter]

Bayojeanne Week 5 - Alternate Universe

Word count: 4200

Summary: AU where Rosa and the former Elder die during the Clan Wars and the Jeanne and Bayo inherit the throne and the Left Eye. Set 30 years after the Clan Wars, at the onset of the Witch Hunts.

A/N: Boy oh boy did this one run the heck away from me! Clocking in at 4.2 k words, its kinda a behemoth. Enjoy!

The heavy wooden doors to her office slammed open and a harried young witch skid past the antechamber and almost into her meticulously messy desk.

Jeanne did not bother to look up from her parchment, knowing full well that Tzipora needed at least a minute to catch her breath. She was their fastest courier by a long stretch and while Jeanne fully appreciated her service, the young girl sounded and moved like a stampede of draft horses.

She had heard her climbing up the stairs a long while before she barreled through the doors in a flurry of huffing breaths and sweat.

“Elder, el-” Her heavy intakes of air kept cutting off what seemed to be an important message she wanted to hear in full, all at once.

“Take your time, Tzipora, I doubt the message will expire in the time it takes for you to catch your breath.”

Nodding, the girl bent down and leaned on her thighs with a heave that left her somewhat concerned she was going to throw up on her nice rug.

“The Left Eye has returned, mistress, and she requests you meet her without delay.” Jeanne’s eyes turned hard and the courier straightened her back in response. If she was asking her to meet up when she hadn’t even crossed the valley into Vigrid proper then she could only bring grave news.

“Tell my wife to meet me by the waterfall grove, I’ll be waiting.” Tzipora looked at her with a measure of uncertainty, unsure if that was all the information she was required to carry.

Jeanne, with a long practiced patience she had acquired through her decades of teaching and ruling, leveled a smooth reply towards her even though her anxiety was twisting itself into harsh knots. “Go, Cereza will know what to do with that information worry not.”

She bobbed her head up and down with vigor, her black hair shaking about and she spun around like Jubileus herself was on her heels. In the antechamber, a purple and golden leopard materialized into existence that knocked the priceless coat hanger her sisters across the Atlantic had gifted to her on her last trip.

Rubbing her forehead in frustration, the esteemed Elder of the Umbra Witches sat down her report on the relief efforts coming from the imperial centers in Ubinu. The witches hailing from Edo were among their most affluent members but they had been quick to coordinate and assist in a large part of the rebuilding efforts post Clan Wars.

Much was still to be done and now, she was sure to be on the cusp of receiving news that she would not like to hear.

With a resolute sigh, she fished Angel Slayer from its lofty perch on the wall and walked out of her inner sanctum.

“Impeccably late as always, Cereza” She commented when she heard the rustle of foliage from behind her comfortable seat on the sandy bank of the waterfall.

“I’ve heard it called fashionably late, dearest, I much prefer that.”

Cereza sat down next to her and offered her a small smile that didn’t quite reach the expressive blue eyes with bags Jeanne hadn’t seen so dark or so pronounced since the wars.

Since the fateful day the previous Left Eye of Darkness had sacrificed herself to stop a storm of summoned Auditio from crashing into the youth halls. Rosa had died to protect the future of those who had denied her a present and the Umbra hadn’t deserved her. And most of all, Cereza hadn't deserved to see it.

“I’m not going to like this, am I?”

She set her mouth in a grim line and shook her head, stretching her left hand towards Jeanne.

The other witch quickly entwined her hand with Cereza’s and even after all of these years, the glimpse of the simple gold band made her heart lighter. They had fought harder than most for the right to be together, to be accepted as the Elder and as the Left Eye of Darkness and to be able to ride off together into the sunset.

However, in joy forever after resided in children’s tales and reality rarely matched up with such a fanciful notion.

“There’s something brewing that’s bigger than the Clan Wars ever were. I’ve chased after reports and local leaders, they are all saying the same thing and they all stand by it.”

Witches missing, smaller compounds raided and attacks too deliberate to be random. It wasn’t the first time such things had crossed her desk and Jeanne had sent the person best suited to find out what was happening.

Now she had. Fuck.

“What is your take on it?” She demanded, immediately regretting the bite in her words but to her luck her wife took it in stride, a routine honed by nearly half a century of companionship.

“I’ve not a singular doubt about it, there is a disturbance so large looming on the horizon the treasured left eye feels like it’s going to burn right out of my skull.” Said eye obliged their conversation by pulsing with a near blinding intensity and Cereza flinched like she’d been stabbed. “There it is, if you had any doubts.”

Banging her hand over her eye socket like she was trying to keep no more than an ornery headache at bay, she continued.

“Beyond that, the scope is massive. Humans have been spurred into a frenzy, nothing has gone dark yet but we’ve suffered loses.” She had received those reports with a heavy heart as well. Two girls had gone missing in the kingdom of Joseon and at least five torture devices had been found scattered around Mu'a. Enough for concerns but not enough for certainty, their relationship with mortals had always been respectful coldness at best but things were changing. “Small, for now. But I know, deep in my bones it's a giant wave travelling towards the coast.”

It was certainly not the Lumen working against them but then the question remained. Why now and how were humans all over the world getting the same idea?

Cereza's impressions were more or less always spot on and if she was worried like this, then it meant they could not afford to stand idle.

“We have to call the Umbra to the ancient grounds and ready ourselves to go to war”

Cereza frowned and twisted her torso to look at her wife straight on. “You cannot go to war with all of the world, Jeanne, it’s folly.”

She punched the sand in frustration and growled, primal and loud. Her beast within was a thin breadth away from her skin and for a moment she entertained the thought of freeing herself into the mindlessness of her beast form. “All of the world has already gone to war on us! What do you want me to do? Continue with diplomatic overtures that have been consistently failing for the 30 years I’ve been the Elder?”

She glared right back with righteous fury, teeth bared in a show of frustrated, spinless aggression. “To delay action is to let our sisters be murdered and I will not stand for that as long as I draw breath.”

They stared at each other, gazes hard and closed off. It wasn’t usual that they disagreed on diplomatic matters, they were a terrifyingly united and powerful front and, as such, were routinely accused of less than savory political associations. If Cereza was being honest, she didn’t disagree with Jeanne, at least not entirely.

There was something wrong, something utterly and unstoppably vicious was looming on the horizon and Cereza had every singular feeling attuned to wrong about this. This wasn’t just a temporary hiccup, there was a balance shifting that was akin to the rumble of snow before a deadly avalanche.

She bit her lower lip in worry and yielded to Jeanne, looking away for a moment. The Left Eye bit like a bolt of thunder and lit her iris with an otherworldly red glow, making Jeanne’s easily provoked temper melt away in caring concern.

“Be careful, please. The Clan Wars were too close, for all of us. How many times did you evade death by sheer, dumb luck?”

Too many times to count. “I can’t lose you Jeanne. To either war, politics or just to your own bull-headed protective instinct. Tread lightly and treat this as if Jubileus themself is trying to come down for a not so friendly conversation.”

Silence descended like an oppressive blanket, cloying all other feelings in a haze of fear. The sun was starting to set on their little meeting spot, the secluded beach at the base of a small waterfall. It was an ancient haunt of theirs when they could not been seen with each other and running away to kiss was still a vital requirement.

In the grand span of an Umbran lifetime, it had been yesterday but Jeanne felt their wedding, an event so extravagant and elaborate it had installed a party that had lasted half of a month, had been an insurmountable time ago.

Were the years of strife taking such a toll on her? They had inherited a broken world and it was up to them to patch it as best as they could but did that really mean all good things were eroding away and she was powerless to stop them?

Cereza was staring off into the streaming water with a slightly pinched face, most likely trying to fight off the lancing pain in her head or digesting what had to be done.

Getting up, she settled herself behind Cereza, entwining their legs and letting her lean back into her front.

She poked the side of her neck which caused her to look back a bit before removing the neck and shoulder portion of her Umbran formal. Jeanne yanked her gloves off and rolled the dense muscles in her hands with precise yet soothing motions, causing her to draw out a long, low moan.

“Cereza, can I ask you something?” At this point, she was essentially letting the weight of her upper body rest on Jeanne's strong hands and she managed a nod.

“If it's for my hand in matrimony, you are quite late. I fear I am taken, darling.” she replied, wiggling her left hand and the nondescript gold band with it. Jeanne chuckled, exhausted and high strung still but just getting something out of her put a smile on her face.

“Do you regret”, she paused, taken with a sudden hesitation her public and political persona never, ever showed. “Do you regret not having any daughters?”

Cereza stilled, suddenly going back to supporting her own weight with her torso and she nearly backtracked all of her words.

It wasn't as if they hadn't, Sheba willing, centuries to have a whole legion of kids to dote on but there was something inside her chest that triggered an uncomfortable sense of finality. And she knew Cereza had to be feeling that times a hundred, her tuning to the finer workings of the Trinity was unparalleled.

“I don't know… there was never a right time for it, was there? I suppose that people find ways to make time but our situation has been so uncertain. A little girl would most likely grow up with us lurking on the edges of her life.”

They had discussed children, of course, several times over the years and they had both agreed that the number one condition was that she would grow up with both of them there, present and accounted for. Such a time had never quite come to pass.

“Though I think that some version of us, out there in the great existence of things, has managed such a thing and they are probably very happy about it.”

To anyone else and from anyone else, it would have sounded like an empty comfort. However, Jeanne found herself smiling at those unlikely words. If Cereza, the powerful Left Eye Of Creation, thought so, then she would entertain the notion.

“Though, we did get close a couple of times.” Jeanne remarked, kissing along her broad shoulders with the occasional stop for a teasing bite. Cereza leaned back again, melting into her caresses.

Not due to any will on their part, mind, but such things were bound to happen with two magical powerhouses. All that was needed was a strong full moon, physiological processes that bypassed magic control and a pinch of the literal dark powers of the god of their realm made Umbra.

For something that usually needed a concerted effort and a more or less complex ritual, they had accidentally started (and more than started…) it enough times to know it was easier than it looked.

Cereza moved her head to the side to give her better access, moaning softly at the nips that were turning harder. “It's the new moon now, I think we are more or less in the clear.”

She got up and turned to Jeanne, hips cocking with a swagger she often used to great effect. “I think we could have some fun, before the sky crashes on our heads.”

Jeanne blinked and looked around at the thick forest around them, stopping to look back at her wife. She was staring at her like she was good enough to eat and there they were.

Alone.

Responsibilities, chores, work were leagues away on Luna.

She laughed, clear and loud like she was still a young, unworried princess and Cereza winked at her. “How about you join me?”

She started walking backwards into the water, her formal disappearing with each step.

Jeanne got up, intent on stopping her from pulling one of her usual stunts like getting buck naked and swimming where certainly other young witches were lurking about. “This isn't nearly as secluded as you think it is!”

Cereza reached forward and pulled her close, continuing her walk towards the crystalline pond. “Pretend we are twenty.” She kissed her, long and unhurriedly and Jeanne had not realized how starving she was for this, for a break. “And that for tonight, it's just you and me.”

The water was warm like the encroaching Iberian night around them and they had progressed far enough it was level with their ribs.

Cereza's formal was long gone, instead she exposed her tan skin and well defined muscles to the relative darkness of the new moon. Jeanne found herself slowly calling her own robe out of existence as her breaths grew heavier at the sight before her.

“I think...I think there are still Umbran matters you haven't been taught, Cereza.”

The witch in question grinned at her successful gambit and at the returning shine in Jeanne's beautiful eyes, letting her mouth be taken with an intensity she too had been longing for far longer than she had realized.

If any other Umbra was watching, well they’d show them how it was done.

Jeanne had never believed she’d see the day where an Auditio flew directly from Laguna not encased in shimmering peacock feathers but in their full, unchained and monstrous glory.

As Fortitudo ripped the clocktower to pieces, taking one of the most precious symbols of Umbran power with it, she desperately wished she had remained ignorant.

It had been like an earthquake, a terrible stillness that had given way to an upset so large they hadn't even managed to scramble a counter-offensive.

And now came the insurmountable wave that would wash away the remains of the Umbran.

72 hours since the first report landed on her desk. First Mēxihco-Tenōchtitlan, then Marka, Samarkand, Vijayanagara, followed by all of their other compounds, enclaves and communities far and wide.

In less than a week, the ancient and powerful network of the Umbra Witches had been reduced to nothing. Jeanne didn't know if there was anyone left alive outside of Crescent Valley but having read the news of swift calamity that the reports had transmitted...

She didn't hold much faith.

Angels poured from every corner of Luna, a defile so great she hardly believed she was bearing witness to it and she knew the humans were just barely being held at bay by their fortifications. Every single battle had been lost and now the axe was about to swing one final time.

The chaos was unsalvageable and her sisters had since decided unilaterally, as was expected by a Clan of strong willed and independent individuals, that Luna was their home and all but ordered her to let them choose to defend it.

“So be it.” She had declared to a forum of bedraggled witches all trying  to talk over each  other. “Then we fight to write in the annals of history that when Paradiso descended on us.” It had probably been her last rousing speech, all things considered.

“The Umbra Witches fought to the last for their home!” She had pulled her sabre from its sheath, raising it as high as she could and the crowd had erupted in cheers and gunshots.

She would have usually considered it hollow populism, barren of solutions and nothing more than empty words but this was their last stand. The least she could do was given them all a poetic ending.

The density of Laguna was becoming impossible to navigate the further she progressed into the compound but she, herself, was now on a single minded mission to find Cereza in the middle of all the chaos.

The children and those who could not fight had left Luna at the first sign of trouble but Sheba knew what their fate had been. Had she sent them all like lambs to slaughter or had she afforded them the chance to hide.

An Affinity jumped up from the growing mass of flames and angels and had nearly torn off her head and she forced herself to focus on the now rather then her mounting regrets. She had to get to Cereza, nothing else mattered.

After all was said and done, the Elder lived to protect her Clan and that meant being the highest protector of the Left Eye. She had done all she could for her sisters, for her friends and acolytes and students. Now it was time to undertake her ultimate responsibility.

Where could she be...they had separated after the clock exploded but Cereza had to be in the compound proper still. Wrangling away from fights, she kept to the edges of the hallowed grounds and ghosted through long forgotten passages she and Cereza had explored in their youth.

Jeanne managed to drag her way near the throne room with no new clues as to where she could be when a bright light shone through the heavy doors. She kicked them open with a bang and her heart sighed in flooding relief.

Cereza looked like a vengeful demon as a mass of bullets and summons accosted the two pairs of Gracious and Glorious that had clearly been sent after her.

The ground was littered with corpses and the commotion beyond the gate of rabid humans was nearly deafening but Jeanne pressed on.

No doubt that she was keeping them at bay but they were wearing her down enough her exertion was noticed. Before they had time to realize she had entered, she summoned Madama Styx right into the fray.

Cereza looked at her in clear surprise but also renewed purpose as she joined up with Jeanne in a deadly battle formation perfected through decades of fights.

Her most beloved was tired and hurt and Jeanne was as well but they soon strangled the First Sphere Angels back to Paradiso.

Panting harshly, Cereza looked at her with worried eyes. “Jeanne...Jeanne! Are you ok, why are you here?!”

“I'm here for you, I'm here to keep you safe.” Jeanne responded and she opened her mouth to protest but she grabbed her face and kissed her, tasting the soot and sweat on her lips but effectively cutting her off. “ Don't argue, it's my duty as the Elder and as your wife to keep you safe.”

Cereza chafed under the protection, under her immense importance, under the need for every Umbra from here to the literal moon to keep her safe. “And as your wife, it's my duty to keep you safe!”

Jeanne shook her head and opened her mouth to disagree right back but she was forced to swallow some of her own medicine when Cereza planted a searing kissing on her lips. “Besides that, I know why they are here now and what the moon’s blessing they want.”

She frowned despite the tangible relief at having found Cereza more or less safe and sound. And then it hit her like a ton of rocks.

“They want the Left Eye! They want you…”

Cereza nodded, grinding her teeth together. Her sisters were dead because of her, because the feathered fucks wanted to use her for something.

“Those people out there are collaterals! They are fodder for Laguna to throw at-”

The crowd outside roared louder than ever before and a loud bang sounded against the sturdy outer door. Jeanne cursed loudly and steeled herself. Their time was running out and running out fast.

“Cereza, I l-”

“Jeanne, listen to me! They want the Left Eye to resurrect Jubileus! We have to stop them, stop this madness, do something!”

At her words, she halted and stared at Cereza with abject surprise.

The Festival of Resurrection, that's what the angels wanted and consequently why they seemed bent on retrieving her beloved Cereza.

Frenzied humans would be inside within the day and she was sure they’d never leave anyone alive. Mankind was a feeble rod but even weak sticks could be unbreakable given enough numbers.

“Yes, we do.” She accepted what she needed to do with an uncharacteristic calm, like the world had been blanketed in silence and only the correct path remained dead ahead.

Cereza cocked her head at her and frowned. “What has gotten into you?”

She was still for a long moment, trying to commit to memory her truest friend, her lover, her wife, her Umbran gem. Fate hadn't been kind to them, right from the start but they had managed their place in the grand scheme of things.

“Jeanne? You’re worrying me, we’re running out of time. We need to do something.”

Jeanne approached her slowly, steps reverent and deliberate. Cereza stayed in place, worry increasing with each clack of the gun heels on the ancient stone floor and, finally, a gloved hand cupped her face softly.

“Cereza, there is nothing to be done but make sure they won’t find you.” It sounded sensible, reasonable.

And utterly fucking wrong.

“What?! If you think you’re going to squirrel me away in some...what, some far off hole somewhere or shove me in stasis while all of my sisters, all of my world collapses again”, she roared at Jeanne’s calm demeanour and small, resigned smile. “You are dead wrong!”

The crashing of a battering ram intensified for a moment and they both looked in it’s direction. How long did they still have?

“Our treasured Left Eye…” She broke her placid composure, her voice laden with regret and a bitter finality that was impossible to hide as she got close enough to touch their foreheads.“My treasured Left eye shall never fall into the hands of another.”

The gem in the middle of Cereza’s watch glowed like fire in the faint light of the room, a symbol of commitment among their people, as good as any modern ring. It was a powerful charm, a rare stone that became more powerful the longer it was in contact with the witch.

It was sacrosanct and to taint it, a sacrilege.

“Jeanne n-”

The dagger was upon the charm with the strength of a bullet and her world turned to black.

FATHER

The feathered flock was dealt with, leaving a mess of gore behind that mingled with the remains of whoever had woken her up and had swiftly been torn to pieces by her previous attackers.

A young child was knocked out nearby, she picked him up and was relieved to not see any injuries.

She looked around but there were no clues to be found, to her location, identity or even purpose. A sort of structure peeked from behind the trees.Well, that direction was as good as any.

She walked.

“Someone left something for your here, Bayonetta.”

The small plastic bag clinked on the counter and she picked it up, curiosity getting the better of her. After all, who would find Rodin and leave something for her to fetch?

“A couple of years topside and you’ve already admirers asking for your hand.” The sound of the ice slushing inside the shaker accompanied his joke as she inspected the small parcel closer.

A ring. Gold and worn, it looked positively ancient in Rodin’s shitty overhead lights. She frowned and turned her gaze to the mysterious proprietor, whose only response was a nearly imperceptible smirk.

Whoever had put the band on her left hand, had just handed her its pair.

[my-mystic-messenger]

Maybe RFA and V + Saeran reacting to them and MC getting in a major accident except MC is way more badly hurt then they are? I love your writing!

Have I ever mentioned how good I am at writing Angst? No?! Well, you’re about to find out for yourself!

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||

Zen

♬ you’d planned this weekend getaway for weeks now and both of you weresuper excited

♬ finally his shoot was over and the next rehearsal was about two weeksaway

♬ so you’d decided to take some time for yourself and maybe take aquick drive to the beach

♬ just the two of you, lazing about, kissing in the sun

♬ you packed just the minimum, since Zen would be driving you on hismotorcycle

♬ you hadn’t been to sure about that, more than willing to spend extracash on a train just in case

♬ but he’d assured you time and time again that he was fine, a muchbetter driver now

♬ plus, you’d talked him into getting helmets for the both of you –matching too! - so what could happen?

♬ feeling a little more confidentabout it you’d returned his smile and agreed

♬ so when the day’d come, you’d happily hopped onto the motorcycle, thebag pack on your shoulders

♬ you’d wrapped your arms around his middle, head leaning between hisshoulder blades

♬ Zen had felt so giddy in that moment, warm and protected

♬ as it turned out he had been…you hadn’t

♬ there’d been a huge accident on the road, a car cutting another offand suddenly things were crashing and Zen hadn’t been able to stop

♬ the cycle had flipped and while Zen had gotten used to theseaccidents, knew how to keep himself atop, you didn’t

♬ adding the extra weight on your back you just kind…flew off

♬ when Zen had finally scrambled his thoughts and looked around he sawyou just lying there

♬ there was so much blood

♬ and your bones had looked so…so strangely arranged like they’d allbeen broken

♬ he’d broken down right then and there, crawling his way to yourfragile, bleeding body

♬ he wrapped his arms around you, pulled you into his arms and beganrocking back and forth

♬ incapable of letting go of you to call an ambulance he’d shouted forhelp

♬ luckily they’d been quick and picked the two of you up

♬ it still didn’t look good at all

♬ Zen had gotten off easy with a couple of broken ribs and a broken arm

♬ he knew he’d heal soon, he always did

♬ you, on the other hand…

♬ God you wouldn’t

♬ when the doctors had actually started to tell Zen exactly whatinjuries you’d suffered he’d gotten dizzy from the sheer number ofthem

♬ they said you were alive, but they didn’t know whether you’d survive

♬ especially due to inner bleedings they might open up again

♬ effectively they were telling him you were in a coma

♬ he cancelled the movie role he’d accepted that very same day

♬ not only because he was too injured to take it, but because he wantedto be by your side

♬ every day and every night

♬ he sat beside your bed and not even the nurses could get him to leave

♬ sometimes the RFA members would visit, but he’d barely talk, if atall

♬ they usually left some food and flowers before sighing and retreating

♬ they couldn’t possibly understand just how much he hated yourself

♬ you’d told him that it wasn’t safe and he’d insisted!

♬ this was all his fucking fault

♬ most of the nights he didn’t sleep

♬ and the nights he did it was either due to sleeping pills or cryinghimself to sleep

♬ he held your hand however long he stayed, never letting go if hedidn’t have to

♬ at some point he got desperate enough to pray

♬ when that didn’t help he cursed God and everyone else in the Universeunwilling to help you

♬ you were good!

♬ You were so fucking good and youdidn’t deserve this

♬ when Seven once tried to cheer you up by telling you a story aboutGod taking the good ones to make angels Zen almost broke his jaw forit

♬ he didn’t give a fuck about God or angels

♬ you were his and not God’s to take

♬ he had no right to take you!

♬ weeks passed and you didn’t wake up

♬ but what surprised everyone else even more was the fact that Zenwasn’t healing

♬ his bones were still broken and his recovery as slow as everyoneelse’s

♬ it was an unspoken assumption that it was because of is grief andmisery

♬ about two months after the accident – with you still in a coma –Zen talked for the first time

♬ surprising everyone, the first person he talked to after two monthsof radio silence is Jumin

♬ he calls him one day, asking him about whether he was in engineeringas well

♬ when Jumin replied with yes Zen simply requested where the nearestplace was, that was currently under construction

♬ Jumin didn’t understand, but Zen was talking again which was a goodthing, so he told him

♬ after that Zen hung up and Jumin called the people on site to keep aneye on him, report back apparently he’d merely come to pick up a hugehammer and left

♬ Jumin was quite sure what his plans were, and he allowed Zen to gothrough with them

♬ it was probably for the best

♬ Zen meanwhile made his way to the garage he’d parked his motorcycleat

♬ he hated the damn thing

♬ never wanted to see it again

♬ it was a daily reminder of the fact that he’d almost lost you, thatyour life was on a line

♬ when he looked at the damn thing – still more intact than you –he hated it

♬ and hated himself

♬ so Zen decided to end it

♬ he smashed the bike to pieces, beat at it with the hammer for hoursuntil it was almost dust

♬ and once it was gone and he still didn’t feel better, he returned toyour bed to tell you all about

♬ because even like this he felt like you would understand him the bestin the world

♬ he returned to holding your hand and patiently sitting by your side

♬ Zen promised himself that he would do so until the day you woke up

♬ and if you never did…well it was the punishment he deserved

Yoosung

★ Yoosung rarely had the time to get home between shifts

★ his breaks were usually short and since you were at work as well,there was little reason to do so

★ he could eat at the clinic, maybe chat a little with his assistantbefore starting his next shift

★ this time, however, he’d had a break that was a little longer and hisfavourite restaurant had been closed

★ Yoosung had made his way home to cook himself something

★ it shouldn’t have taken him more than half an hour, real quick

★ the flat was empty and quiet when he’d entered it, as expected

★ you had your main job and usually used some of your free time to helpJaehee in the café

★ Yoosung loved you for that

★ it cut your private life a little shorter, but your willingness tosacrifice your free time just to help a friend was the trait headmired and loved about you the most

★ he’d just been cooking up something in the kitchen when his assistanthad called

★ apparently there had been an emergency in the clinic where an x-raywas needed, which she wasn’t authorized to do by herself

★ Yosung and her had been discussing this for mere minutes, it musthave been ten minutes tops, when he smelled the fire

★ he’d left the kitchen for such a short while and yet when he ran backto it the entire thing was on fire

★ he’d been quick to react, running out of the apartment and closingthe door behind him

★ had he had the possibility and time, he would have shut the windowsas well

★ however, the kitchen window had been blocked by fire and the gasseshad already been filling the flat

★ once outside and safe he’d instantly called the fire department

★ he’d remained outside as he waited, trying his very best to remaincalm

★ after all he’d have to answer questions about what had happened andbeing stressed would help no one

★ he’d already heard the sirens approaching when his phone had buzzedin his hand

★ he’d been surprised to see that it was Jaehee

★ usually he wouldn’t have picked up in a situation like this, butaround this time you were usually in the café so he might as welltell Jaehee to tell you what had happened

★ however, when he’d picked up and Jaehee began to talk, his entireworld seemed to break apart

★ she told him that you’d forgotten your phone when you left the caféearly

★ apparently work had worn you out and you were coming up withsomething, so Jaehee had basically forced you home to go and sleep

★ after all you’d been the one who’d helped her through her issues withstress

★ Yoosung stood there, frozen for a moment as he stared up the building

★ he saw see the smoke coming out of the window, could imagine what thestate of your flat was

★ and you wereinside!

★ In that moment he’d dropped the phone and ran back inside without asecond though

★ in a minute or two the firefighters would be here, he knew

★ but a minute or two were too long for him to wait

★ once upstairs he’d ripped open the door, only to be greeted by anevery spreading fire and smoke that burned his lungs just from asingle breath

★ he’d covered his mouth with his shirt and walked inside, steeringtowards the bedroom

★ when he’d opened the door he’d found you lying on the floor in frontof it

★ you’d attempted to flee, but the dizziness had gotten to you first

★ you’d passed out from the lack of oxygen and the gases burning inyour eyes and lungs

★ Yoosung had gone to his knees, tears burningin his eyes

★ this was all his fault

★ all his fault

★ all his fault

★ he shook himself out of it, instead taking you in his arms andattempting to carry you out

★ he’d been in the flat for five minutes tops and yet the lack ofoxygen was already getting to him

★ he didn’t want to imagine what it must have been for you

★ God, he didn’t even want ti imagine how close to death you were!oncehe’d gotten back outside, covered in dirt and soot skin lightlyburned, Yoosung had fallen to his knees

★ he’d been coughing horribly, wheezing and lung burning with everybreath he took

★ even the fresh air felt like daggers in his chest

★ you still weren’t moving, weren’t waking up

★ then the guys from the ambulance took you away, separated the two ofyou

★ he begged them to let him go, to transport you in the same vehicle atleast

★ but they couldn’t they needed the space to treat her as fast aspossible

★ you’d suffered cardiac arrest and were on the verge of death

★ by the time Yoosung was finally done with his inspections andanswering to the fire department and the police you’d already beentreated

★ he instantly asked for your room number and made his way there

★ you looked horrible, lying in that bed

★ your skin was still tinted, there were burns covering your entirebody, you were forced to wear an oxygen mask and you were stillunconscious

★ he’d even overheard some doctors discuss your case, talking aboutpossible brain damages due to the long lack oxygen you suffered

★ Yoosung hoped for the best, sitting beside your bed for hours untilyou first woke up

★ he’d told everyone else but refused to let them come visit you

★ he didn’t want to stress you out even more

★ Yoosung had been so eager to hug you when you’d squeezed his hand,tears running down his face

★ he was overwhelmed by feelings in that moment; both joy as well asanger at guilt

★ he’d wanted to hug you so desperately, but knew you were in too muchpain

★ a week later you were released, but the two of you couldn’t go home

★ a lot of it was destroyed, especially the kitchen and big parts ofthe living room

★ so Jumin had offered to pay for your stay at a hotel or his placeuntil things were figured out

★ Yoosung agreed

★ still, despite you being awake and alive and as healthy as thesituation allowed, things weren’t good

★ you barely spoke, you cried a lot at night and you suffered horriblenightmares

★ it broke Yoosungs heart to see you that way and no matter how much hetried, he couldn’t get you out of the slump you were in

★ Jumin eventually suggested therapy, as your mental state was alarmingenough for even him to notice

★ Yoosung agreed, of course, and happily dropped you off at thetherapist twice a week

★ but the second you’d enter the building he would hunch over the wheeland cry silent to himself

★ this was all his fault

★ all his fault

★ all his fault

Jaehee

♨ the two of you were happy in your sweet little world

♨ you lived together and worked together, shared every aspect of yourlife

♨ both of you had given up your former jobs for the café and for oneanother

♨ neither of you regretted the decision for a single day

♨ at first it was hard, being the new establishment in the region

♨ but soon the costumers started gathering and eventually you becamereally popular

♨ so much so that you even had regulars that you knew by name and theyknew you

♨ Jaehee had never been happier

♨ even before you officially started dating she was happy just havingyou by her side

♨ once you did start dating, her life seemed complete

♨ she had a bigger, nicer placer she shared with you, a job she adoredand left her with enough energy and free time to get to know herselfagain and an adoring partner who loved her

♨ until one day when she was woken by a loud noise from the living room

♨ at first she remained in bed, beside you

♨ if you hadn’t woken up, maybe she’d just imagined the noise

♨ maybe she’d woken from her dream, or something

♨ however, the second she put her head down there was another sound andthis time she was sure of it

♨ quietly as not to wake you she got up and made her way through theflat

♨ maybe something had just fallen

♨ at least that was what she hoped

♨ sadly, it wasn’t the case

♨ upon entering the living room she was greeted by the sigh of a man,attempting to steal from you

♨ she even recognized his face as one of the people who came to yourcafé

♨ he must have been watching you, analyzing his targets

♨ two women living together, it must have seemed like an easy job tohim

♨ especially considering that all your earnings were never left in thecafé, but instead stashed here

♨ which he apparently knew as well, from the looks of it

♨ when he noticed Jaehee, the man attacker

♨ luckily her Judo helped her a little bit, but he was still strongerand bigger than her

♨ not to mention that Judo taught you to react to fair Judo moved, notto burglars trying to knock you out

♨ the fight was short and ended with Jaehee pinned against a wall, handcovering her mouth

♨ then she could feel the cold metal of a gun pressed against hertemple and froze

♨ this is how she was going to die?

♨ she’d never even gotten thechance to tell you she loved you

♨ suddenly the light went on and you came walking into the room,rubbing your eyes and yawning

♨ you were looking for Jaehee

♨ when you were finally awake enough to open your eyes and take in thescene your heart sank

♨ your mind was instantly sobered and you started to scream, runningfor the phone

♨ BANG!

♨ he’d fired his gun and it hadn’t been at Jaehee

♨ the sound had been so loud, so deafening as it was, but when sherealized he’d shot at you, it made the whole thing even worse

♨ the man himself was frozen, apparently in shock at his own actions

♨ not that Jaehee cared

♨ she kicked him in the balls and forced him to his knees, using thatto get the gun away from him

♨ while she ran towards you, the burglar got up and fled the flat

♨ not that it would help him much, Jaehee would make sure of that

♨ for now, however, you were here main priority

♨ she had some bruises and a cut lip from his beating, but you werebleeding to death in her arms

♨ she pulled you close, resting you on her lap as she held onto you

♨ Jaehee was crying now, trying desperately to regain composure butincapable of doing so

♨ with shaky hands you handed her the phone

♨ the sheer fact that you can do to that making her angry at herself

♨ she called for an ambulance, crying into the receiver about youhaving been shot

♨ the call took longer than necessary, just because she was so shakenshe could barely speak

♨ meanwhile you were getting paler and paler in her arms

♨ then you started talking about being tired, so so tired

♨ what was she supposed to do?

♨ she didn’t have the answer

♨ she didn’t know

♨ it was the most unsettling feeling in the world

♨ she held onto you, begging you to stay awake between painful sobs

♨ she needed you awake

♨ she needed you alive

♨ eventually you passed out though and even the slap she gave youdidn’t wake you up

♨ luckily the ambulance and police arrived

♨ the ambulance took you, but Jaehee had to stay behind to answer tothe police

♨ the interrogation took so long, as she was too shaken to formulate herthoughts properly

♨ she’d constantly break out in tears, especially when thinking aboutyour blood gushing out of you

♨ eventually she was allowed to leave though and she instantly made herway to the hospital

♨ they given you a lot of painkillers so you were sleeping peacefullywhen she got to you

♨ the doctors explained that you were fine for now, but you’ddefinitely have to stay for a while as well as not work or move toomuch as it could open up the wound

♨ Jaehee was fine with that, she’d gladly close to café for a while ifit meant keeping you safe

♨ she herself would probably be paranoid for a while, she didn’t evenwant to imagine how you must have felt

♨ she sat beside you the entire night, clutching onto your hand andpraying for you to wake up

♨ she’d never gotten to tell you how much she loved you and in theprivacy of the room she realized that might be for the best

♨ telling you would make this entire thing real

♨ this way she could set you free, watch your relationship fall apartand move on to someone more suitable

♨ a man that could actually protect you

♨ unlike her…

Jumin

♛ Jumin had something very special planned for the two of you

♛ despite not having told anyone of his plans, people around himnoticed something was off

♛ he was so chipper and sometimes people actually caught him smiling tohimself like he’d just heard the most wonderful news in the world

♛ frankly, for Jumin it felt that way

♛ after months he’d finally been approved his helicopter license, whichmeant he could finally take you on a trip he’d been planning foralmost a year

♛ of course he was smiling!

♛ When he told you about it you were sohappy

♛ both of you were busy people and spending some quality time togetherwasn’t always easy

♛ which is precisely why you are so excited for this trip

♛ a whole weekend just you and Jumin

♛ you didn’t know exactly what he had planned, since he insisted it wasa surprise, but you were excited nevertheless

♛ and you sincerely hoped it involved sex, at some point

♛ when you told him as much Jumin chuckled, telling you that it wasdefinitely option and fully up to you

♛ a couple of days later it was finally Friday and once both of you hadgotten home from work you took a quick shower together before makingyou way to the helicopter

♛ the sigh was quite beautiful, with the stars above you and the cityshining down below

♛ sometimes you steal glances at each other and snicker when you do itat the same time

♛ you’re just flying over a nice little forest as Jumin informs youthat you’re about ten minutes away

♛ you get excited then, as your fun weekend is about to properly start

♛ then there is a strange bang, almost like an explosion

♛ the helicopter begins to shake and suddenly your rapidly falling

♛ Jumin tries his best to steer the helicopter so the impact isn’tfatal, but it’s not easy to remain composed in a situation like this

♛ while he steers you call for help, explaining the situation andtrying your best to describe where you are so rescue groups canactually find you

♛ Jumin is almost ready to land, pretty confident that the collisionwon’t be too bad when suddenly there is a strong wind from the leftside and the helicopter – without fully functioning propeller –smacks into one of the higher trees

♛ a helicopter is generally more stable than a car, so the impact isn’ttoo bad, but it’s enough to hurt the both of you

♛ while Jumin got off lucky, you’re in a horrible shape

♛ since the wind came from the left side, your side was the one thatactually hit the tree

♛ the glass is destroyed and there is blood running down where yourhead is rested against

♛ he managed to somehow get out of the helicopter and quickly makes hisway around

♛ the damn thing is basically hugging the tree at this point, so hecannot reach your door

♛ Jumin attempts to get you out from his side, but upon trying to liftyou from your seat notices that you have far worse injuries than onemight see at first

♛ he lets you rest in the sitting position, praying that someone willcome soon to help you

♛ they arrive about half an hour later and carefully lift you from thedestroyed helicopter, carrying you to the ambulance

♛ Jumin followssuit, his face expressionless but his heart pounding like crazy

♛ he practically order the doctors to inspect every last inch of youand heal you, no matter the cost

♛ they tell him that you have a concussion, but that the main issue isthe dorsolumbar spine injury you suffered

♛ he doesn’t understand so they explain that you’re spine is almostsnapped in half entire, like a fragile twig, and that you’re in direneed of surgery if you ever want to be able to move at all

♛ they also tell him that you’re actually extremely lucky, a little bithire and it might have been the neck, which would have causedimmediate death

♛ Jumin doesn’t ride along to the hospital, he even refuses to lethimself get checked out

♛ he is fine

♛ while you are lying in a hospital possibly about to suffer full bodyparalysis

♛ there is not a single expense spared in your treatment

♛ he wants to whole, healthy and happy again

♛ meanwhile Jumin buries himself in work, takes on even more hours

♛ he barely sleep and rarely ever goes home

♛ he can’t, it’s filled with memories of you

♛ memories he’s dirtied

♛ whenever he logs into the chat everyone, especially Zen, give himshit about it

♛ he curses him to hell and back what an dirty asshole he is for notvisiting you

♛ Zen tells him how you put on a strong face, but are obviously tornapart inside

♛ tells him how often you ask for him, how you barely hold back tears

♛ in the privacy of his office he allows himself to cry, burying hishead in his crossed arms and cry

♛ he just can’t bring himself to go and visit you

♛ can’t bring himself to see you broken and sad because of him

♛ especially when he thinks about how you’d react, how you’d be happyto see him, assure him that it wasn’t his fault at all

♛ he didn’t deserve your kindness, nor your love

♛ he’d been so greedy for both and it had almost caused you yourprecious life

♛ all because of his silly excitement and his lack of concentration

♛ …and all just because he’d wanted to ask you to marry him that day

Saeyoung/Seven

☼ Seven doesn’t take a lot of things seriously

☼ not even when he says he does

☼ however, he does take his cars and his driving extremely serious

☼ so when you joked about him not being as good a driver as he claimsto be, seeing as he only ever stares at his cars, he wasoffended

☼ and more than ready to prove you wrong

☼ he’d chosen the fastest of his cars for good measures and gotten youto agree to a drive

☼ at first you weren’t all too happy about the prospect

☼ Seven got reckless when he tried to prove a point

☼ and you generally didn’t like driving

☼ it had been a huge shock when you’d first admitted that to Seven

☼ mostly because it was utterly beyond him how someone couldn’t enjoydriving

☼ I mean, what better feeling that rushing through the world while itblurred out around you

☼ you hadn’t really been able to describe it, but it just freaked youout to some extend

☼ usually he would have been fine with you declining, but not this time

☼ he insisted you get in the car

☼ and after fifteen minutes of back and forth you’d sighed and actuallygotten in

☼ at first everything was fine, seeing as Seven was actually gooddriver

☼ the scenery was nice – as far as you could tell from the differentcoloured smudges outside – and with the music playing it wasactually fun

☼ however you soon lost track of time and before you knew it was darkoutside

☼ you slowly began to get worried, but Seven assured you thateverything was fine

☼ then it started to rain and you begged him to slow down, clutchedonto your seat

☼ you were scared, many people lost their lives that way

☼ Seven had just laughed it off, telling you you were cute when you arescared

☼ he took his eyes of the road for seconds, split seconds, even

☼ but it was enough

☼ somehow the car lost footing and began spinning

☼ Seven lost control completely and before you knew, you were drivingoff the road

☼ you had a flashback to a couple of years back, when Jumin survivedalmost the exact same accident

☼ but he hadn’t been that fast, it hadn’t been raining and he’d beenthe one driving

☼ when you flew off the road you screamed, your lovers name on yourlips

☼ the crash was brutal, demolishing the car completely to the pointbeyond repair

☼ more importantly, both of you were harmed

☼ Seven had a couple of scratched and cuts from the shattering classthat hit him and a concussion

☼ otherwise he was almost perfectly fine, the car having provided forhis safety

☼ you, on the other hand, were in a much worse shape

☼ there was a massive wound on your head, blood dripping from it alongwith cuts similar to his

☼ your body seemed much more lifeless and you weren’t responding to hiscalls of your name

☼ when the ambulance, police and fire department finally arrived youstill hadn’t woken up

☼ Seven had tried to reach out for you, but he was incapable of movingin the position he was in

☼ the firemen actually had to cut you out of the car

☼ upon inspection your wounds were mostly internal, which made thewhole thing even worse

☼ apparently you had multiple broken bones and Seven had heard onlyparts of what was going on before being lead away

☼ they’d gotten you to the hospital quickly as you were an emergencycase

☼ it only got Seven worried more; would you die?

☼ apparently therewas surgery necessary and Seven waited hours for you to get out

☼ it killed him not to know what exactly was going on and he’d beenhalf tempted to hack into the hospital computer to find out

☼ but he heard your voice of reason inside his head and decided againstit

☼ another hour later you were finally pushed into your own room, Sevenfollowing the doctors

☼ when he asked them what exactly happened and they explained he paled

☼ apparently most of the damage had been done to your head and legs

☼ there were some severe inner bleedings, but they’d handled it

☼ however, they didn’t know whether you’d be able to ever walk again

☼ nor whether you’d be able to talk…

☼ vocal cord paralysis, they explained

☼ Seven spend hours reading up on it both

☼ how much people suffered from it

☼ how a single momentum could destroy a person life forever

☼ how some people had decided to kill themselves rather than bewheelchair bound for the rest of their life

☼ let alone wheelchair bound without being able to speak

☼ you’d have to learn ASL because of him

☼ you’d never be able to dance around the flat when you beat him inLOLOL

☼ or sing your off tune songs in the shower

☼ you’d never be able to thank all the guests at the RFA personally

☼ or hold the speech at the beginning or it

☼ you’d never be able to run from him when he chased you through thehouse with a pillow as weapon

☼ or even laugh and snort at his silly jokes

☼ you’d never be able to lead a normal, life with these small joys

☼ he’d never hear your lovely laugh ever again, and he’d been the oneto take it from you

☼ the least he could do was to not laugh ever again himself

☼ with another last glance to your broken form lying in bed Seven gotup and left

☼ he’d gotten his point proven: people he loved only got hurt aroundhim

☼ and he knew the only way to protect them, was to stay away

☼ so he did

☼ the only key to the home you’d shared with him he owned he put on alittle chain he gently put around your neck

☼ and with a last kiss to your forehead and a breathy goodbye youprobably wouldn’t remember hearing, Seven disappeared707has left the chatroom

☼ and he never returned

Saeran

☀ Ever since the day you stepped into Saeran’s life it was never thesame

☀at first you were the one who helped saving him from Rika’s tighthold

☀ then you were the one who convinced Saeyoung to get him propertherapy and medication

☀ after that you were just there, all the time

☀ when he didn’t speak, you filled the silence

☀ when he did speak, you listened carefully

☀ you gave him space while simultaneously being by his side and soon hefound himself falling in love with you

☀ you were also the one that had helped him find his purpose in lifeonce he’d gotten over his trauma

☀ much like his brother Saeran decided to remain in the field he’dgotten used to

☀ he was good at hacking, but among other things he was also a goodfield agent

☀ he joined a secret organization akin to the FBI

☀ eventually he asked you to join, for you to be partners in life aswell as partners in crime

☀ you had to be trained, but as quick witted as you were, it didn’ttake long

☀ you were a great team, balancing one another while adding to eachothers strengths

☀ you worked together for years, both of you building a reputation inthe business

☀ since you were for hire, you earned good money, living a comfortablelife together

☀ peaceful even, when you weren’t at work

☀ after years of working together you were synced to the points whereeven when you had to execute someone – terrorists, of course –you barely ever got hurt if at all

☀ everything until one day things became complicated

☀ you’d infiltrated a group of terrorists, working undercover for themto gather information

☀ it had been your job to distract them while Saeran planted the bomb

☀ that way you’d blow up the entire organization as well as thedocuments they’d gathered

☀ it should have been so easy, the entire case

☀ you’d given each other half an hour to fulfill your end of the joband leave the building

☀ the bomb was strong, made to destroy the entire establishment, so youcan to time the whole thing right

☀ if you didn’t get away far enough, the blow might still harm eitherof you

☀ the two of you had been preparing and practicing the entire thing formonths now

☀ you know the entire building like the back of your hand, knew thequickest way out

☀ what you hadn’t expected was for someone to blow your cover in thelast minute

☀ Saeran had just planted the bomb, contacting you to see whether thecoast was clear

☀ you’d send him the signal, telling him to get out

☀ as you were on different sides of the grounds, you’d agreed to usethe nearest exit each and meet somewhere else once the building wasblown up

☀ and you would have done just that, had you not been attacked

☀ you knew that now that you’d messaged Saeran, you didn’t have muchtime

☀ the timer was set and you had a ten minute limit to get out and faraway

☀ however as you saw five men approaching you, all with various weaponson them, you knew you wouldn’t make it

☀ you fought them off as good as you could and at some point you hadenough of an advantage to at least flee to another room to hide outthe last minutes of your life

☀ you had to stay, so that they would stay in the building as well, butyou didn’t want to die mid battle

☀ no, there was something more important for you to do

☀ you fished out the phone you’d hidden from the men and texted Saeranwhat was going on

☀ you had mere minutes to spare at this point, two at most, if yourcalculations were right and they were never wrong

☀ you told him all the important things one said in their last moments,used your last breath to record a little voice message

☀ you just hoped it would reach him before the bomb blew up and meltedyour phone

☀ you told him you loved him, how proud you were of him

☀ you said that the last years of your life had been the best, thatwhile he always said that you’d given him purpose it was the otherway around

☀ you thanked him for leading him to the RFA, to all these people youso dearly called your best friends and to him, the one person youwanted to spend the rest of your life with

☀ in the end you apologized

☀ apologized that ‘the rest of your life’ turned out to be so short,when you’d been so excited for another five or six decades to spendby his side

☀ you told him to live a happy life, even without you, for hishappiness was everything you ever wanted

☀ for more there wasn’t time, so you hit send and watched the littlecircle spin, trying to send the amount of data

☀ just a second before the bomb went off the phone announced that themessage had been received and you smiled

☀ the vibration of his phone surprised Saeran

☀ you’d already discussed where to meet, so why text him now?

☀ maybe you were just checking up on him

☀ the thought made him smile and he happily got out his phone and readthe message

☀ dread overcame him

☀ with shaking fingers he opened the attached voice message

☀ as he listened to your voice telling your goodbye tears startingrunning down his cheeks uncontrollably

☀ by the time the message had ended, his entire life had fallen apartin front of him

☀ your were dead

☀ no, that couldn’t be

☀ you’d survived him trying to kill you before

☀ you’d survivedhundreds of his bombs over the years

☀ you both had, together

☀ it couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t

☀ he put his phone away and ran towards the remains of the building,searching them for something to either prove his fears right or wrong

☀ of course the bomb had been much too strong and he knew very wellthat he wouldn’t find anything but cinder and soot

☀ he called your phone, called it again and again only to receive thesame message every time

☀ the number was disconnected

☀ and so was Saeren

☀ he knew you’d told him to live a happy life, and he really tried fora couple of months

☀ he spend time with his brother, but couldn’t smile

☀ he ate and drank, but couldn’t taste anything

☀ he slept but never felt rested

☀ it felt like someone had sucked all the energy out of him, and in asense it had

☀ you’d been the one, bright thing in his life, his hope and sunshine

☀ now everything was grim, dark and sad

☀ he couldn’t go on like that, not without you

☀ so when the chance arose and another bomb was needed, he knew what todo

☀ he made a mistake and he made it on purpose

☀ the only person that ever found out was his brother

☀ Saeran blew himself up while taking down another terrorist group inthe East

☀ in a letter he explained all of it to his brother

☀ told him he’d begged to be send on this message, had purposefully setthe timer on a time that was too little for him to get out

☀ the letter reached Seven a couple of weeks after Saeran’s death,something the younger twin had planned to give him some time to griefover his death

☀ beside the explanation as to why he did what he did, he begged hisbrother to make a little memorial

☀ not just for him, but for both of you

☀ he didn’t expect anyone to bring flowers, or to pray to him, he’dnever believed in such things anyway

☀ he just asked for a little space, somewhere in the home you’d boughttogether many years ago, to have a little spot cleared

☀ he didn’t expect anything fancy, just a little picture of the two ofyou and what was in the letter

☀ it was a pair of matching rings

☀ Saeran explained that he’d never had the guts to ask you to marry himbut wanted to remedy that in his after life

☀ after all, he’d never considered himself good enough for you

☀ so maybe, if heaven really exists like Saeyoung always told him, hegets his chance at a ’forever’ with you after all

☀that is the only wish he ever had after all, in life and in death

Jihyun/V

📷 you’d gotten comfortable in your new life with V

📷 the two of you had decided to stay in V’s old apartment – since healready knew the outline and could find his way around even in hisblind state – but redecorated it

📷 you’d made it your own and the both of you loved it

📷 home finally felt like home again

📷 you had your own little routines from him waking you up with coffeewhile you took care of breakfast to the two of you brushing yourteeth side by side and getting dressed for the day together

📷 it was peaceful

📷 like a life in your own little world

📷 until it suddenly wasn’t anymore

📷 about a year into you living together new from Alaska arrived

📷 apparently Rika discharged

📷 they’d deemed her good to go

📷 the two of you knew better, especially V

📷 he knew how well she could control certain things

📷 knew how she could manipulate people and their perception of her

📷 she’d gotten an entire cult worth of people to obey her every demand

📷 needless to say that everyone was scared at the news

📷 there was not a single doubt that she was coming after at least oneof you

📷 after all, she had unfinished business with most of the RFA;Saeyoung, Saeran, Jumin, V and you

📷 even Yoosung felt uneasy

📷 weeks passed and no one picked up anything; neither Saeyoung andSaeran hacking all sorts of security cameras all over town norJumin’s body guards and special employees

📷 all of you were lulled into false security

📷 all but V

📷 he acted like he agreed with the rest of you, that Rika wasn’t athreat after all, but he knew that it wasn’t true

📷 he’d seen first hand what Rika could do and he’d known her the bestout of all of you

📷 he knew that she’d never give up on something she truly believed wasright, what had to happen

📷 so when she showed up at your apartment a couple of weeks after herrelease, he wasn’t surprised

📷 even blind he could tell it was her when the door to your flat opened

📷 he’d gotten up from the couch and turned towards where he knew thedoor was

📷 he could sense Rika, despite her being completely silent

📷 he greeted her like an old friend, even smiling and reaching out toher

📷 he knew he had to be careful, shouldn’t move too far or provoke her

📷 one wrong move and it could end fatal

📷 he didn’t have to be able to see to know that she had one weapon orthe other

📷 Rika wasn’t the type of person to just come to chit chat with you

📷 he can hear her angry panting, swallowing and something akin to aquiet growl

📷 she is ready to kill him, V knows

📷 he’s prepared for it too

📷 he recorded his goodbye message and even found a solution for thedocuments

📷 the only thing he truly regrets is not being able to say goodbye toyou personally, how sad you’ll be

📷 then he hears another set of steps and his heart sinks

📷 no

📷 oh no

📷 he hears your scream, then fighting and a loud thud

📷 someone fell to the floor and from the pain sounds, it’s youVgoes to his knees, tries to find you by crawling in the generaldirection he hears your muffled gasps and groans coming from

📷 you’re trying to be quiet, keep him away so Rika wouldn’t hurt himtoo

📷 when she tries to stab him as well you kick her in the stomach ashard as you can

📷 she flies back and you manage to get the knife

📷 it’s enough to discourage her in the state she’s in and she flees,leaving you on the floor, gradually bleeding to death

📷 now that she gone you allow yourself to scream out in pain, cryingand clutching to your stomach

📷 you beg V to call the ambulance, cry in a chant that you don’t wantto die

📷 he’s completely helpless, cannot save you or patch you up

📷 he does call the ambulance, but he can’t even really tell them whathappened, only that you need help

📷 they arrive soon after and by some miracle you survive

📷 he asks them what happened to you and they explain that you tried tosave V by jumping between him and Rika which lead to her stabbing you

📷 when you fought her off again, it only made the bleeding worse,causing you to loose a lot of blood

📷 V becomes numb once the words register in his mind

📷 once more the person he loves suffers because of him

📷 once more he wasn’t capable of protecting the person he loves

📷 and all of that because he kept his secrets to himself

📷 his instinct tells him to leave, let you grieve his loss and move onto someone better for you

📷 his heart leads him to your room, lying there patched up

📷 he sits beside you and you reach out to gently caress his face, tellhim it’s not his fault

📷 he closes his eyes, leaning into your touch so starved for youraffection

📷 he apologizes so many times and yet every time you tell him the verysame thing: you would make the same decision again and again

📷 with every time you tell him that he hates himself more and more andmore and more…

[thecybermermaid]

Your Christmas Day feasting game plan

  Prep yourself this Christmas with our extensive game plan that will see you enjoying the festivities without the guilt. Stephanie Osfield writes.

  Christmas dinner is one of the biggest culinary deals of the year. If you only had to navigate that one day, things would be sweet – but it's the drinks and parties and picnics and BBQs throughout the festive season that can bite. This means you're out of your usual routine and not always cooking. You don't want to look like you're being all bah-humbug and not getting into the Christmas spirit, so you'll be eating festive food. But you also don't want to spend each event battling recriminations because you had too many chocolates.

Overthinking it? Absolutely not. Recent research published in The New England Journal of Medicine showed that in Germany, Japan and the US, holiday celebrations such as Thanksgiving and Golden Week do lead to weight gain. But the biggest kilos spike across the board occurred in the 10 days after Christmas. During this time, Germans gained an average 0.8 kilograms, Americans 0.6 kg and Japanese participants an average of 0.5 kg. And although most of those study participants shed roughly half of that weight, some of it remained. Consider the cumulative impact over time (the term 'kilo creep' persists for a reason).

If you're torn between sanctioned excess and an ascetic festive season with BYO almonds, follow our experts' plan to have your Christmas cake and eat it.

1. All Or Nothing Thinking

  You Think: 'I just broke my eating rules – I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the night.'

The Fallout:

“All or nothing thinking is a worrying cognitive distortion that contributes to overeating,” says Sarah McMahon, psychologist and body image expert at Sydney's BodyMatters Australasia. “It can lead you to eat far more than you would have done if you had just given yourself permission to have a little of what you like.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Be compassionate towards yourself: “The fact is that most of us will eat more 'sometimes' and 'occasional' food at Christmas time,” says McMahon. “The best thing to do is to allow yourself this pleasure, enjoy the food and trust that you and your body can handle it.”

» Eat mindfully: “When you slow down to savour each mouthful of food, you not only enjoy it more, your body and mind connect, so you start to notice when you are full,” says McMahon.

» View treats as a temporary detour: Yes, last night you had garlic bread and canapés. And today? You're back on your usual track, eating three healthy meals and healthy snacks.

» Plate up your snacks: Even at parties where you can bring a food contribution like sushi and paper plates to serve it on. “This helps you to see how much you are eating so it is easier to realise when you've had enough,” says dietitian and nutritionist Rebecca Gawthorne.

» Serve your leftovers to go: If you've had friends over for dinner and know you won't be able to resist the rest of the cheesecake or lasagna, serve it into take-away containers and send your guests home with the leftovers.

    2. Nostalgia

You Think: 'I love fruit pudding, mince pies, White Christmas and the turkey stuffing – they all remind me of when I was a child and how easy and uncomplicated life was.'

The Fallout:

“Christmas foods typically have many layers of emotion attached to them,” says McMahon. “Firstly, some of the foods on offer, such as crackling or Christmas pudding, are things you only eat once a year. This in itself can make the food more desirable.

“Often we feel comfort and nostalgia in relation to Christmas food. Unfortunately this can lead us to keep eating more and more to fill an emotional void with food, when in reality, eating that is driven by emotions and not hunger is rarely satiating.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Reality check: “Ask yourself  'Am I hungry?' and, in particular, 'What am I hungry for?'”  suggests McMahon. “If you know that what you really crave is closeness or connection, honour those feelings and respond to them. Talk to your partner or a trusted sibling about your feelings or write them down. Satisfy those emotions but don't feed them. Ask someone for a hug or do something nostalgic – look through old photos, or maybe write a journal about your feelings.”

» Give old favourite foods a health spin: For example, if you associate Christmas with fizzy drinks, buy some mineral water and add a dash of a colourful juice like grape juice. Or if Christmas chocolate was your favourite thing, still have a little, but make it a handmade dark chocolate so that it looks amazing (and has health benefits for your heart), and only eat two.

» Channel your inner child: Engage in some games you used to play as a child rather than hoeing into the food. Try board games such as Scrabble and Monopoly, or charades, or picnic games like tag and stuck in the mud.

          3. Using Food To Self-Pamper

You Think: 'I've had a really difficult year and I deserve to give myself this reward of lashings of yummy food and wine.'

The Fallout:

“Using food as the ultimate holiday treat puts food on a pedestal, as though it can magically fix everything that's not working in your life and make you feel better,” says McMahon. Fast-forward a few hours after the chocolates and chips or second serving of dessert and you will still be carrying the same emotional baggage. But now you'll have some food guilt to add to it.

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Take just a few bites: Serve yourself a little of the foods you wouldn't normally indulge in but just take a few bites to satisfy you and don't eat the rest. Or enjoy just a small sliver of dessert. Research from Cornell University shows that people who eat small serves of treat foods feel just as satisfied 15 minutes later as those who ate far bigger portions. Another study at Stanford University has found that people who ate only three salty crackers were more satisfied than those who ate 15 crackers.

» Seek non-food rewards: Treat yourself to a few great books for Christmas and daily indulgences over the holidays such as enjoying breakfast al fresco or going for a sunset walk with all the family. “Remind yourself that the major perks of Christmas are not the meals but spending time with family and friends and enjoying a break from work,” says McMahon.

» Avoid second serves: Instead, have a tall glass of water or a nice hot cup of tea. If that doesn't work and you still feel hungry, go back to have a second serve of salad and vegetables.

        4. Suffering Clean Eating Fatigue

You Think: 'I'm tired of being good. I'm going to feast all through the holidays and work it off at the gym later.'

The Fallout:

“Gorging yourself during the holidays and thrashing yourself at the gym later is a dangerous trap that perpetuates an unhealthy and disconnected relationship between food and your body,” says McMahon. “A feast and famine kind of approach is not helpful to maintaining a healthy weight.” Losing weight is also a trickier prospect than many people realise so you may find that your holiday weight does not all come off, even if you're working out hard and eating clean.

Christmas Comeback:

» Stick to your usual eating pattern: “If you're eating out, choose the grilled fish and vegies instead of the creamy pasta," says Gawthorne. Meanwhile, skip foods you would never normally have, such as soft drinks, bread rolls at dinner, gravy and sour cream on your potatoes.”

Eating at a friend's house? Offer to bring a huge salad so that you can serve a big plate of that and eat less of the more kilojoule-laden healthy fare.

» Work out as usual: Abandoning your exercise routine at the very time of year that you normally eat more doesn't make any sense. “Exercise makes every cell more sensitive to insulin, so glucose enters your cells more easily,” says Christine Armarego, exercise physiologist from Sydney's Glucose Club. “This means your pancreas doesn't need to send out as much insulin to manage your blood glucose levels.” In turn this helps to reduce weight gain over the festive season.

» Remember – this effect is dose-dependent. “Twenty-four hours after you work out, your insulin sensitivity peaks,” Armarego explains. “Within 48 hours it has returned to what it was. That's why daily exercise is best to keep insulin sensitivity at its highest. If you can't manage that, try not to let more than 48 hours pass between exercise sessions.”

By contrast, if you're a couch potato all holidays, “Higher glucose levels and insulin can lead to increased fatigue and make it harder for your body to access fats stores to burn for energy,” Armarego says.

So keep up some kind of exercise all through Christmas. And if at all possible, exercise on Christmas day – either by engaging in a workout after the present opening, or by enjoying a long family walk over lunch.

        5. Starving to Save Up Kilojoules

You Think: 'I purposely haven't eaten a thing all day so that I can let my hair down at Christmas lunch.'

The Fallout:

“This is a classic Christmas mistake,” says Gawthorne. “You are likely to be so ravenous that you serve a huge portion and then go back for seconds, which could cause a huge kilojoule blowout.”

Christmas Comeback:

» Eat three meals: Have a simple breakfast of eggs and rye toast and eat a salad for lunch. This will ensure you're not starving with hunger and supersize your helpings at Christmas functions and then regret it the next day.

» Go for vegies first: “Serve a stack of salad and vegetables (at least half your plate) first then serve the other foods,” Gawthorne suggests. “The more vegies you eat, the more nutrients and fibre you enjoy and the less likely you will be to overindulge in other foods. It will also help portion control the other high-kilojoule foods because you will only have a little room for them on your plate.”

» Choose a smaller plate: Put a larger plate underneath it so it has the illusion of looking even bigger. When you serve your meal, you will feel that you are eating a huge feast even though you are not overdoing your intake of kilojoules.

» Pick three favourites: Rather than go for everything from the roast potatoes and gravy to the crackling, pick three favourite high-kilojoule foods to really savour in small portions. Then fill the rest of your plate with super-healthy salads and vegetables.

        6. Using Alcohol to Unwind

You Think: 'That champagne is really giving me a nice buzz after weeks of stress. I'm going to help myself relax by having a few more.'

The Fallout:

Because it's a drink, we often completely ignore that alcohol can pack a powerful kilojoule punch. “Beer, wine, spirits and cocktails are all high in calories and devoid of any good nutrition, so there is no nutritional benefit gained from consuming them,” says Gawthorne.

“While I don't think there is too much of an issue with consuming small, safe amounts of one to two standard drinks of alcohol on social occasions, it's important not to look at Christmas and New Year's as an excuse to drink to excess. This will lead to weight gain and could cause potential health issues (such as hangovers and stomach irritation).”

Remember, alcohol often comes alongside foods like salty nuts and chips that may be harder to resist once we've had a few. “And if you're feeling worse for wear the next day, you may also indulge in a big fatty breakfast,” Gawthorne adds.

Christmas Comeback:

» Make a trade-off: Decide how you are going to spend your kilojoules before each function. “If you want to indulge, for example, in a slice of your favourite Christmas cake after dinner, then you won't want to be drinking lots of alcohol,” Gawthorne says. “Or if you want to enjoy a few alcoholic drinks, then you might need to forgo the dessert or avoid the high-kilojoule cheeses after dinner.”

» De-stress without alcohol: Not only is the lead-up to Christmas rushed and stressed for many people, but being with family is often super stressful too. So take time to stop and recharge your batteries. That may mean you engage in daily meditation, a morning swim or time out to read a book from cover to cover. The less stressed you are and the more enjoyable your Christmas holiday, the less likely you are to use food as a Christmas feelgood crutch.

  NEXT: Beat the Christmas snacking blowout with these top tips. 

  {nomultithumb}

[alamkhatoon]

  Prep yourself this Christmas with our extensive game plan that will see you enjoying the festivities without the guilt. Stephanie Osfield writes.

  Christmas dinner is one of the biggest culinary deals of the year. If you only had to navigate that one day, things would be sweet – but it’s the drinks and parties and picnics and BBQs throughout the festive season that can bite. This means you’re out of your usual routine and not always cooking. You don’t want to look like you’re being all bah-humbug and not getting into the Christmas spirit, so you’ll be eating festive food. But you also don’t want to spend each event battling recriminations because you had too many chocolates.

Overthinking it? Absolutely not. Recent research published in The New England Journal of Medicine showed that in Germany, Japan and the US, holiday celebrations such as Thanksgiving and Golden Week do lead to weight gain. But the biggest kilos spike across the board occurred in the 10 days after Christmas. During this time, Germans gained an average 0.8 kilograms, Americans 0.6 kg and Japanese participants an average of 0.5 kg. And although most of those study participants shed roughly half of that weight, some of it remained. Consider the cumulative impact over time (the term ‘kilo creep’ persists for a reason).

If you’re torn between sanctioned excess and an ascetic festive season with BYO almonds, follow our experts’ plan to have your Christmas cake and eat it.

1. All Or Nothing Thinking

  You Think: ‘I just broke my eating rules – I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the night.’

The Fallout:

“All or nothing thinking is a worrying cognitive distortion that contributes to overeating,” says Sarah McMahon, psychologist and body image expert at Sydney’s BodyMatters Australasia. “It can lead you to eat far more than you would have done if you had just given yourself permission to have a little of what you like.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Be compassionate towards yourself: “The fact is that most of us will eat more ‘sometimes’ and ‘occasional’ food at Christmas time,” says McMahon. “The best thing to do is to allow yourself this pleasure, enjoy the food and trust that you and your body can handle it.”

» Eat mindfully: “When you slow down to savour each mouthful of food, you not only enjoy it more, your body and mind connect, so you start to notice when you are full,” says McMahon.

» View treats as a temporary detour: Yes, last night you had garlic bread and canapés. And today? You’re back on your usual track, eating three healthy meals and healthy snacks.

» Plate up your snacks: Even at parties where you can bring a food contribution like sushi and paper plates to serve it on. “This helps you to see how much you are eating so it is easier to realise when you’ve had enough,” says dietitian and nutritionist Rebecca Gawthorne.

» Serve your leftovers to go: If you’ve had friends over for dinner and know you won’t be able to resist the rest of the cheesecake or lasagna, serve it into take-away containers and send your guests home with the leftovers.

    2. Nostalgia

You Think: ‘I love fruit pudding, mince pies, White Christmas and the turkey stuffing – they all remind me of when I was a child and how easy and uncomplicated life was.’

The Fallout:

“Christmas foods typically have many layers of emotion attached to them,” says McMahon. “Firstly, some of the foods on offer, such as crackling or Christmas pudding, are things you only eat once a year. This in itself can make the food more desirable.

“Often we feel comfort and nostalgia in relation to Christmas food. Unfortunately this can lead us to keep eating more and more to fill an emotional void with food, when in reality, eating that is driven by emotions and not hunger is rarely satiating.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Reality check: “Ask yourself  ‘Am I hungry?’ and, in particular, ‘What am I hungry for?’”  suggests McMahon. “If you know that what you really crave is closeness or connection, honour those feelings and respond to them. Talk to your partner or a trusted sibling about your feelings or write them down. Satisfy those emotions but don’t feed them. Ask someone for a hug or do something nostalgic – look through old photos, or maybe write a journal about your feelings.”

» Give old favourite foods a health spin: For example, if you associate Christmas with fizzy drinks, buy some mineral water and add a dash of a colourful juice like grape juice. Or if Christmas chocolate was your favourite thing, still have a little, but make it a handmade dark chocolate so that it looks amazing (and has health benefits for your heart), and only eat two.

» Channel your inner child: Engage in some games you used to play as a child rather than hoeing into the food. Try board games such as Scrabble and Monopoly, or charades, or picnic games like tag and stuck in the mud.

          3. Using Food To Self-Pamper

You Think: ‘I’ve had a really difficult year and I deserve to give myself this reward of lashings of yummy food and wine.’

The Fallout:

“Using food as the ultimate holiday treat puts food on a pedestal, as though it can magically fix everything that’s not working in your life and make you feel better,” says McMahon. Fast-forward a few hours after the chocolates and chips or second serving of dessert and you will still be carrying the same emotional baggage. But now you’ll have some food guilt to add to it.

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Take just a few bites: Serve yourself a little of the foods you wouldn’t normally indulge in but just take a few bites to satisfy you and don’t eat the rest. Or enjoy just a small sliver of dessert. Research from Cornell University shows that people who eat small serves of treat foods feel just as satisfied 15 minutes later as those who ate far bigger portions. Another study at Stanford University has found that people who ate only three salty crackers were more satisfied than those who ate 15 crackers.

» Seek non-food rewards: Treat yourself to a few great books for Christmas and daily indulgences over the holidays such as enjoying breakfast al fresco or going for a sunset walk with all the family. “Remind yourself that the major perks of Christmas are not the meals but spending time with family and friends and enjoying a break from work,” says McMahon.

» Avoid second serves: Instead, have a tall glass of water or a nice hot cup of tea. If that doesn’t work and you still feel hungry, go back to have a second serve of salad and vegetables.

        4. Suffering Clean Eating Fatigue

You Think: ‘I’m tired of being good. I’m going to feast all through the holidays and work it off at the gym later.’

The Fallout:

“Gorging yourself during the holidays and thrashing yourself at the gym later is a dangerous trap that perpetuates an unhealthy and disconnected relationship between food and your body,” says McMahon. “A feast and famine kind of approach is not helpful to maintaining a healthy weight.” Losing weight is also a trickier prospect than many people realise so you may find that your holiday weight does not all come off, even if you’re working out hard and eating clean.

Christmas Comeback:

» Stick to your usual eating pattern: “If you’re eating out, choose the grilled fish and vegies instead of the creamy pasta," says Gawthorne. Meanwhile, skip foods you would never normally have, such as soft drinks, bread rolls at dinner, gravy and sour cream on your potatoes.”

Eating at a friend’s house? Offer to bring a huge salad so that you can serve a big plate of that and eat less of the more kilojoule-laden healthy fare.

» Work out as usual: Abandoning your exercise routine at the very time of year that you normally eat more doesn’t make any sense. “Exercise makes every cell more sensitive to insulin, so glucose enters your cells more easily,” says Christine Armarego, exercise physiologist from Sydney’s Glucose Club. “This means your pancreas doesn’t need to send out as much insulin to manage your blood glucose levels.” In turn this helps to reduce weight gain over the festive season.

» Remember – this effect is dose-dependent. “Twenty-four hours after you work out, your insulin sensitivity peaks,” Armarego explains. “Within 48 hours it has returned to what it was. That’s why daily exercise is best to keep insulin sensitivity at its highest. If you can’t manage that, try not to let more than 48 hours pass between exercise sessions.”

By contrast, if you’re a couch potato all holidays, “Higher glucose levels and insulin can lead to increased fatigue and make it harder for your body to access fats stores to burn for energy,” Armarego says.

So keep up some kind of exercise all through Christmas. And if at all possible, exercise on Christmas day – either by engaging in a workout after the present opening, or by enjoying a long family walk over lunch.

        5. Starving to Save Up Kilojoules

You Think: ‘I purposely haven’t eaten a thing all day so that I can let my hair down at Christmas lunch.’

The Fallout:

“This is a classic Christmas mistake,” says Gawthorne. “You are likely to be so ravenous that you serve a huge portion and then go back for seconds, which could cause a huge kilojoule blowout.”

Christmas Comeback:

» Eat three meals: Have a simple breakfast of eggs and rye toast and eat a salad for lunch. This will ensure you’re not starving with hunger and supersize your helpings at Christmas functions and then regret it the next day.

» Go for vegies first: “Serve a stack of salad and vegetables (at least half your plate) first then serve the other foods,” Gawthorne suggests. “The more vegies you eat, the more nutrients and fibre you enjoy and the less likely you will be to overindulge in other foods. It will also help portion control the other high-kilojoule foods because you will only have a little room for them on your plate.”

» Choose a smaller plate: Put a larger plate underneath it so it has the illusion of looking even bigger. When you serve your meal, you will feel that you are eating a huge feast even though you are not overdoing your intake of kilojoules.

» Pick three favourites: Rather than go for everything from the roast potatoes and gravy to the crackling, pick three favourite high-kilojoule foods to really savour in small portions. Then fill the rest of your plate with super-healthy salads and vegetables.

        6. Using Alcohol to Unwind

You Think: ‘That champagne is really giving me a nice buzz after weeks of stress. I’m going to help myself relax by having a few more.’

The Fallout:

Because it’s a drink, we often completely ignore that alcohol can pack a powerful kilojoule punch. “Beer, wine, spirits and cocktails are all high in calories and devoid of any good nutrition, so there is no nutritional benefit gained from consuming them,” says Gawthorne.

“While I don’t think there is too much of an issue with consuming small, safe amounts of one to two standard drinks of alcohol on social occasions, it’s important not to look at Christmas and New Year’s as an excuse to drink to excess. This will lead to weight gain and could cause potential health issues (such as hangovers and stomach irritation).”

Remember, alcohol often comes alongside foods like salty nuts and chips that may be harder to resist once we’ve had a few. “And if you’re feeling worse for wear the next day, you may also indulge in a big fatty breakfast,” Gawthorne adds.

Christmas Comeback:

» Make a trade-off: Decide how you are going to spend your kilojoules before each function. “If you want to indulge, for example, in a slice of your favourite Christmas cake after dinner, then you won’t want to be drinking lots of alcohol,” Gawthorne says. “Or if you want to enjoy a few alcoholic drinks, then you might need to forgo the dessert or avoid the high-kilojoule cheeses after dinner.”

» De-stress without alcohol: Not only is the lead-up to Christmas rushed and stressed for many people, but being with family is often super stressful too. So take time to stop and recharge your batteries. That may mean you engage in daily meditation, a morning swim or time out to read a book from cover to cover. The less stressed you are and the more enjoyable your Christmas holiday, the less likely you are to use food as a Christmas feelgood crutch.

  NEXT: Beat the Christmas snacking blowout with these top tips. 

  {nomultithumb}

  from Diet & Nutrition http://ift.tt/2kOxEcr

[ramoswomensgym0]

Your Christmas Day feasting game plan

  Prep yourself this Christmas with our extensive game plan that will see you enjoying the festivities without the guilt. Stephanie Osfield writes.

  Christmas dinner is one of the biggest culinary deals of the year. If you only had to navigate that one day, things would be sweet – but it’s the drinks and parties and picnics and BBQs throughout the festive season that can bite. This means you’re out of your usual routine and not always cooking. You don’t want to look like you’re being all bah-humbug and not getting into the Christmas spirit, so you’ll be eating festive food. But you also don’t want to spend each event battling recriminations because you had too many chocolates.

Overthinking it? Absolutely not. Recent research published in The New England Journal of Medicine showed that in Germany, Japan and the US, holiday celebrations such as Thanksgiving and Golden Week do lead to weight gain. But the biggest kilos spike across the board occurred in the 10 days after Christmas. During this time, Germans gained an average 0.8 kilograms, Americans 0.6 kg and Japanese participants an average of 0.5 kg. And although most of those study participants shed roughly half of that weight, some of it remained. Consider the cumulative impact over time (the term ‘kilo creep’ persists for a reason).

If you’re torn between sanctioned excess and an ascetic festive season with BYO almonds, follow our experts’ plan to have your Christmas cake and eat it.

1. All Or Nothing Thinking

  You Think: ‘I just broke my eating rules – I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the night.’

The Fallout:

“All or nothing thinking is a worrying cognitive distortion that contributes to overeating,” says Sarah McMahon, psychologist and body image expert at Sydney’s BodyMatters Australasia. “It can lead you to eat far more than you would have done if you had just given yourself permission to have a little of what you like.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Be compassionate towards yourself: “The fact is that most of us will eat more ‘sometimes’ and ‘occasional’ food at Christmas time,” says McMahon. “The best thing to do is to allow yourself this pleasure, enjoy the food and trust that you and your body can handle it.”

» Eat mindfully: “When you slow down to savour each mouthful of food, you not only enjoy it more, your body and mind connect, so you start to notice when you are full,” says McMahon.

» View treats as a temporary detour: Yes, last night you had garlic bread and canapés. And today? You’re back on your usual track, eating three healthy meals and healthy snacks.

» Plate up your snacks: Even at parties where you can bring a food contribution like sushi and paper plates to serve it on. “This helps you to see how much you are eating so it is easier to realise when you’ve had enough,” says dietitian and nutritionist Rebecca Gawthorne.

» Serve your leftovers to go: If you’ve had friends over for dinner and know you won’t be able to resist the rest of the cheesecake or lasagna, serve it into take-away containers and send your guests home with the leftovers.

    2. Nostalgia

You Think: ‘I love fruit pudding, mince pies, White Christmas and the turkey stuffing – they all remind me of when I was a child and how easy and uncomplicated life was.’

The Fallout:

“Christmas foods typically have many layers of emotion attached to them,” says McMahon. “Firstly, some of the foods on offer, such as crackling or Christmas pudding, are things you only eat once a year. This in itself can make the food more desirable.

“Often we feel comfort and nostalgia in relation to Christmas food. Unfortunately this can lead us to keep eating more and more to fill an emotional void with food, when in reality, eating that is driven by emotions and not hunger is rarely satiating.”

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Reality check: “Ask yourself  ‘Am I hungry?’ and, in particular, ‘What am I hungry for?’”  suggests McMahon. “If you know that what you really crave is closeness or connection, honour those feelings and respond to them. Talk to your partner or a trusted sibling about your feelings or write them down. Satisfy those emotions but don’t feed them. Ask someone for a hug or do something nostalgic – look through old photos, or maybe write a journal about your feelings.”

» Give old favourite foods a health spin: For example, if you associate Christmas with fizzy drinks, buy some mineral water and add a dash of a colourful juice like grape juice. Or if Christmas chocolate was your favourite thing, still have a little, but make it a handmade dark chocolate so that it looks amazing (and has health benefits for your heart), and only eat two.

» Channel your inner child: Engage in some games you used to play as a child rather than hoeing into the food. Try board games such as Scrabble and Monopoly, or charades, or picnic games like tag and stuck in the mud.

          3. Using Food To Self-Pamper

You Think: ‘I’ve had a really difficult year and I deserve to give myself this reward of lashings of yummy food and wine.’

The Fallout:

“Using food as the ultimate holiday treat puts food on a pedestal, as though it can magically fix everything that’s not working in your life and make you feel better,” says McMahon. Fast-forward a few hours after the chocolates and chips or second serving of dessert and you will still be carrying the same emotional baggage. But now you’ll have some food guilt to add to it.

Your Christmas Comeback:

» Take just a few bites: Serve yourself a little of the foods you wouldn’t normally indulge in but just take a few bites to satisfy you and don’t eat the rest. Or enjoy just a small sliver of dessert. Research from Cornell University shows that people who eat small serves of treat foods feel just as satisfied 15 minutes later as those who ate far bigger portions. Another study at Stanford University has found that people who ate only three salty crackers were more satisfied than those who ate 15 crackers.

» Seek non-food rewards: Treat yourself to a few great books for Christmas and daily indulgences over the holidays such as enjoying breakfast al fresco or going for a sunset walk with all the family. “Remind yourself that the major perks of Christmas are not the meals but spending time with family and friends and enjoying a break from work,” says McMahon.

» Avoid second serves: Instead, have a tall glass of water or a nice hot cup of tea. If that doesn’t work and you still feel hungry, go back to have a second serve of salad and vegetables.

        4. Suffering Clean Eating Fatigue

You Think: ‘I’m tired of being good. I’m going to feast all through the holidays and work it off at the gym later.’

The Fallout:

“Gorging yourself during the holidays and thrashing yourself at the gym later is a dangerous trap that perpetuates an unhealthy and disconnected relationship between food and your body,” says McMahon. “A feast and famine kind of approach is not helpful to maintaining a healthy weight.” Losing weight is also a trickier prospect than many people realise so you may find that your holiday weight does not all come off, even if you’re working out hard and eating clean.

Christmas Comeback:

» Stick to your usual eating pattern: “If you’re eating out, choose the grilled fish and vegies instead of the creamy pasta," says Gawthorne. Meanwhile, skip foods you would never normally have, such as soft drinks, bread rolls at dinner, gravy and sour cream on your potatoes.”

Eating at a friend’s house? Offer to bring a huge salad so that you can serve a big plate of that and eat less of the more kilojoule-laden healthy fare.

» Work out as usual: Abandoning your exercise routine at the very time of year that you normally eat more doesn’t make any sense. “Exercise makes every cell more sensitive to insulin, so glucose enters your cells more easily,” says Christine Armarego, exercise physiologist from Sydney’s Glucose Club. “This means your pancreas doesn’t need to send out as much insulin to manage your blood glucose levels.” In turn this helps to reduce weight gain over the festive season.

» Remember – this effect is dose-dependent. “Twenty-four hours after you work out, your insulin sensitivity peaks,” Armarego explains. “Within 48 hours it has returned to what it was. That’s why daily exercise is best to keep insulin sensitivity at its highest. If you can’t manage that, try not to let more than 48 hours pass between exercise sessions.”

By contrast, if you’re a couch potato all holidays, “Higher glucose levels and insulin can lead to increased fatigue and make it harder for your body to access fats stores to burn for energy,” Armarego says.

So keep up some kind of exercise all through Christmas. And if at all possible, exercise on Christmas day – either by engaging in a workout after the present opening, or by enjoying a long family walk over lunch.

        5. Starving to Save Up Kilojoules

You Think: ‘I purposely haven’t eaten a thing all day so that I can let my hair down at Christmas lunch.’

The Fallout:

“This is a classic Christmas mistake,” says Gawthorne. “You are likely to be so ravenous that you serve a huge portion and then go back for seconds, which could cause a huge kilojoule blowout.”

Christmas Comeback:

» Eat three meals: Have a simple breakfast of eggs and rye toast and eat a salad for lunch. This will ensure you’re not starving with hunger and supersize your helpings at Christmas functions and then regret it the next day.

» Go for vegies first: “Serve a stack of salad and vegetables (at least half your plate) first then serve the other foods,” Gawthorne suggests. “The more vegies you eat, the more nutrients and fibre you enjoy and the less likely you will be to overindulge in other foods. It will also help portion control the other high-kilojoule foods because you will only have a little room for them on your plate.”

» Choose a smaller plate: Put a larger plate underneath it so it has the illusion of looking even bigger. When you serve your meal, you will feel that you are eating a huge feast even though you are not overdoing your intake of kilojoules.

» Pick three favourites: Rather than go for everything from the roast potatoes and gravy to the crackling, pick three favourite high-kilojoule foods to really savour in small portions. Then fill the rest of your plate with super-healthy salads and vegetables.

        6. Using Alcohol to Unwind

You Think: ‘That champagne is really giving me a nice buzz after weeks of stress. I’m going to help myself relax by having a few more.’

The Fallout:

Because it’s a drink, we often completely ignore that alcohol can pack a powerful kilojoule punch. “Beer, wine, spirits and cocktails are all high in calories and devoid of any good nutrition, so there is no nutritional benefit gained from consuming them,” says Gawthorne.

“While I don’t think there is too much of an issue with consuming small, safe amounts of one to two standard drinks of alcohol on social occasions, it’s important not to look at Christmas and New Year’s as an excuse to drink to excess. This will lead to weight gain and could cause potential health issues (such as hangovers and stomach irritation).”

Remember, alcohol often comes alongside foods like salty nuts and chips that may be harder to resist once we’ve had a few. “And if you’re feeling worse for wear the next day, you may also indulge in a big fatty breakfast,” Gawthorne adds.

Christmas Comeback:

» Make a trade-off: Decide how you are going to spend your kilojoules before each function. “If you want to indulge, for example, in a slice of your favourite Christmas cake after dinner, then you won’t want to be drinking lots of alcohol,” Gawthorne says. “Or if you want to enjoy a few alcoholic drinks, then you might need to forgo the dessert or avoid the high-kilojoule cheeses after dinner.”

» De-stress without alcohol: Not only is the lead-up to Christmas rushed and stressed for many people, but being with family is often super stressful too. So take time to stop and recharge your batteries. That may mean you engage in daily meditation, a morning swim or time out to read a book from cover to cover. The less stressed you are and the more enjoyable your Christmas holiday, the less likely you are to use food as a Christmas feelgood crutch.

  NEXT: Beat the Christmas snacking blowout with these top tips. 

  {nomultithumb}

  Read more ... from http://www.womenshealthandfitness.com.au/diet-nutrition/healthy-eating/2384-your-christmas-day-feasting-game-plan