#they coulda done so much with her character

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Shy One

Inspired by this post; in the same universe as this and this

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Summary: a night out ends in an embarrassing encounter.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

It feels like you’re seeing the world through tinted glass. The low lights, the buzz of voices, and the subtle clink of glasses feed the haze around you. That and the cocktail in your hand. Just ice now. Your second. You’re surprised how easily it went down. 

“Want another?” Mikayla asks as you play with the thin straw. 

“Maybe not yet,” you shrug. 

She grins at Alina, “lightweight?” 

The other women laugh. You’re too embarrassed to admit it but you are. In fact, it’s the first time you’ve ever tasted alcohol. If they don’t mock you for confessing, they wouldn’t believe you. 

“So happy you came out,” Katy grins. 

“Yeah, too bad you didn’t make the work mixer last month,” Lu says. 

“Hm, yeah, I just... I couldn’t make it,” you chew your lip. 

“Mmm, Mik,” Katy purrs, “you seeing what I’m seeing?” 

Katy tilts her head and Mikayla follows her gaze. Alina and Lu do the same and you dare to peek after them. There’s a table of men across the bar. There timbre forms a dulcet drone amid the din. 

“Sexy, look at that beard.” Alina slithers 

“Which one?” Lu giggles. 

You shift and look down at your glass. You wrap both your hands around it and squirm. They said it was just work drinks. You don’t want to be dealing with strangers. 

“Oh, honey, loosen up,” Alina grabs your starched collar and pops the top button. “You have another one of those and you’ll be dancing on the table.” 

“Um,” you lean away from her, “maybe. Erm, I need to go to the restroom.” 

“Boo, too early to break the seal,” Katy whines. 

“Sorry,” you apologise and stand. 

You take your glass with you and as you turn, you stop short as your eyes meet another pair. One of the men from the crowded table catches you in his gaze. You gulp and quickly lower your chin. You hurry on to the bar and set your empty glass on it. 

“Thanks,” you say. 

“Oh, thanks,” the man behind it swipes it away. “The waitress coulda grabbed that.” 

“Oh, now worries,” you show a palm and turn to find the restroom. 

You head down the hallway behind the bright blue sign. You dip into the ladies and claim a stall. As nice as it is to release the pressure, it’s even nicer to get a breather. You’re not the bar type. Not a drinker or a dancer, as much as Alina keeps suggesting it. You’re a total square. Thirty years old and you’ve never done anything more fun than laser tag. 

You wash your hands and leave the bathroom reluctantly. The music seems louder as you come out, the voices too. As you enter the barroom, you slow down. You’re mortified to find Alina and Katy in the open space, dancing. Grinding against each other. 

You stand there, frozen and embarrassed. The other women at the table cheer them on lewdly. You don’t know what to do. Sitting with Lu and Mikayla would draw as much attention as joining the dancing. This doesn’t seem like the place for that. 

Maybe it’s time for you to go. You’re feeling a bit cloudy and your eyes are fuzzy. You’ve been up since five in the morning. 

You slowly cross the space but have to dodge as Alina spins out and nearly crashes into you. In an effort to avoid her, you hit the side of a table, bouncing off of it and staggering until you fall onto something soft. Thank gosh you managed to find a seat in your descent. 

“Mmph,” the grunt greets you with the firm cushion beneath you, “y’alright, doll?” 

You look over in horror at the man who’s lap you sit upon. How embarrassing!! You look around at the other men at the table as it dawns on you. This is the worst crash landing you can imagine. 

You gasp and peer back at the man who serves as your chair. He’s terrifyingly handsome. His eyes are so blue and his jaw is chiseled beneath his dark beard. His brown hair curtains down around his cheekbones and his cheek dimples in amusement. 

“I’m so sorry,” you wriggle against him as he spreads his large hand across your back. “I tripped. I didn’t man to—oh gosh.” 

You touch your scalding forehead and try to shimmy out of his lap. It’s useless as you can’t get much of a stronghold. You just manage to ground your butt down on him. 

“You okay there?” He runs his fingertips up your spine and sends a shiver through you. 

“I’m--- sorry!” You gulp out again. “Please, I’m--” you grab the corner of the table and manage to haul yourself up. “I’m so...” you shake your head and bluster. You’re burning in humiliation. You can feel the other men watching you. “Ugh.” 

You turn and scurry around Alina and Katy. You quickly gather up your purse and coat as the women at the table laugh. “Oh, honey, why don’t you give him a nice ride,” Lu teases. 

You blanch at her and makes a face, “I didn’t mean to--” 

“Oh, chill,” Mikayla chides. “Really, it was funny. Where are you going?” 

“Home,” you exclaim. “Stop laughing at me. You’ve been laughing at me all night.” 

Lu scoffs, “well, you’re a bit silly, aren’t you? Act like you’ve never touched a man or a drink before.” 

You frown and flutter your lashes against the singe of hot tears. This is why you always say no. Why you are always ‘busy’. You don’t fit in. You’re better off alone. 

You hug your coat and bag and hurry across the bar. You push through the door and stagger out into the night with a sniffle. Oh joy, work is going to be even worse. Now they’re going to sit around and cackle at you instead of Wendy and her tacky dresses. 

You look around, searching for your bearings. You need to find a cab and get out of here. You see once coming down the pavement. You shift your things into one arm and throw your other up. The taxi steers towards the sidewalk but picks up another pedestrian further down. 

You huff and crane in search of another escape. 

“Hey, doll,” a rocky voice calls over the hinges of the bar door. “Where’re you off to?” You continue to peer down the street, frightened as you feel a gentle nudge on your elbow, “hey, talking to you. You didn’t even give me a name after you sat right on me.” 

You flinch and reel away from him, “huh? What? Oh, I’m sorry. That was just... clumsy.” 

“Ah, it’s fine. Really. It was funny,” he assures you. “I’m not making fun of you. Just, a pretty girl falls right in my lap then runs away, I kinda gotta wonder...” 

“Umph?” You furrow your brow, “you’re making fun of me too.” 

“Why would I do that?” He tilts his head. “Come back inside. Let me by you a drink.” You shake your head and wave your hand past him at another yellow cab. He chuckles softly, “you don’t gotta be shy.” 

“I don’t know you,” you insist. 

“I’m tryna fix that,” he counters. 

“Really, I just wanna go home,” you whine as the taxi drives by without stop. 

“Right, let’s do that,” he turns and throws his hand up. He whistles and wiggles his fingers. A cab rolls right up to him. “Let’s go.” 

He opens the back door and stands back. You stare at it. 

“Thanks,” you sigh in relief. You get in, ducking through the door, greeting the driver with a polite, “hello.” 

Yet the door doesn’t close. Instead, you’re urged further inside by the man as he sits on the seat next to you. You slide over as he pulls the door shut behind him. 

“Tell him where we’re going, doll,” he commands. 

You look at him, then the driver. You’re too stunned to think. What is he doing? You give your address and curl your shoulders as you shrink down. 

“Now,” the man stretches his arm across the seat, “we got the whole ride to get to know each other,” he offers his other hand, “I’m Bucky, I hear I make a pretty comfy seat.” 

You can’t help half a smile. You reach and shake his hand. You suppose he did help you out and he doesn’t seem angry about your unceremonious fall. You give him your name. 

“Thanks,” you say again. 

“Thanks? Oh doll, what kinda fool wouldn’t help a girl like you?” 

[the-paris-of-people]

What is your ideal series arc for Aneesa?

Oooo I absolutely love this question. Okay so I would keep season 2 exactly as it is, then for s3 I would also keep the Fabneesa storyline (minus Fabiola dating Addison), plus add an Aneesa episode narrated by Megan Rapinoe (idk anything about her so if she has any controversies I'll retract this I just saw someone say this) about her strict Indian family, her home life, going to her ED support group perhaps, coming to terms with her queer identity on her own within the context of her life, and add in a healthy dose of her and Devi + the UN bonding. In s4, another POV episode (yes, we were robbed of Aneesa povs if it were up to me NHIE would have 12 episodes/season) of her and Fabiola re-sparking her romance through Aneesa helping Fabiola with the robotics club and her college decisions. Or I saw someone say in the sub Reddit it might be interesting to learn about Aneesa's perspective abstaining from Ramadan because of her ED. I read this article about it, and maybe it could be about Aneesa feeling disconnected with her faith during Ramadan and finding alternative ways of engaging with her faith, through prayers or almsgiving. I am neither highly educated on EDs nor on the Islamic faith, this is part is inspired by that subreddit post, and if I am extremely miseducated on if this would be great representation feel free to correct me!

[quirkle2]

as a huge spyro year of the dragon fan i Hate the reignited trilogy they took all the charm and nostalgia out of it BUT ... spyro's walking/running animation ? they perfected that.

[moghedien]

honestly I'm just constantly obsessing over the Lae'zel romance scenes, but like I think I've finally decided which version of the duel (you winning or her) I prefer from just like a character standpoint.

because in the moment I went back and forth with both versions because I wasn't sure, but then ended up staying with the version where I win, and I think that's my preference now because it just feels like a subtler but more intense mind fuck to Lae'zel if you take everything that happened up into this point into account.

and do not get my wrong, i think the version where she wins is absolutely a mind fuck to her for many reasons, and I do love it. like her realizing that you aren't weak and she's like horrified at having hurt you and that very concept confusing her? amazing. we love her for it.

but if you win the duel, I feel like that forces her to recontextualize soo much more if you played the romance how I did at least. because basically any time she told me to submit, i did. I never tried to be the dominant one. I never even really teased her for being soft in certain circumstances or got snarky with her or got upset when she'd be like possessive and demeaning.

and I imagine that the githyanki sex rituals dictate that like the weaker one is submissive one and so obviously Lae'zel was the stronger one your relationship and if you did nothing to dissuade her of that fact then you obviously agree. there's no love or preference in it. There's just like desire and physical need and ability that decides who's doing what.

and I feel like this is backed up by the conversation when you can turn the one night stand into a two night stand, where she's like "you look weak and pathetic when you look at me. you look terrified." And also the fact that you can request that she stay and cuddle you afterward in that scene and she's like, baffled and upset by that suggestion. She calls it pointless grappling and a waste of muscles. like sex is combative to her. If you're not fighting for dominance or directly getting off in that moment, then what's the point? and if you embarrass her by suggesting she's never cuddled before, then she tries to get back at you by pointing out that she killed some kind of creature and you haven't. like do not get it twisted. dominance in sex is like expressly tied to actual strength and weakness outside of sex to her.

So if you win the duel? If you've been unquestioningly letting her dominant you in every sexual encounter and then only to turn around and fucking annihilate her in battle the first time you're actually going head to head, 1v1?

Imagine how much that must fuck with her perceptions what your relationship has been up until this point.

Because now its not even just her realizing that she has feelings for you that she doesn't know how to deal with. Oh no. She's realizing that every single time she's told you to submit and you did, its not because you couldn't dominate her. Its not because you were afraid of her or thought you were weaker than her. Its not because you couldn't flip things around on her. its not just that you were so lustful toward her that you submitted just to be able to have sex. It's because you specifically wanted to be the submissive one and you wanted her to do what she wanted with you.

You coulda kicked her ass at any time. And you never even tried. You never even hinted at it.

and god, the cuddling? You didn't want that just to distract or as some trick to exhaust her? You just wanted to cuddle? you wanted to be soft and hold each other just for the sake of it?

and the fact that its only after the duel that she asks you to be gentler with each other now and she says its the most terrifying thing she's ever done just kinda hammers that home for me. Because she realized it isn’t weakness that makes her (and you) want those things. It’s still scary to ask for though…

Like I'm just saying, if you've just unquestionably submitted to her and then you kick her ass, then she's not just grappling with the fact that she's having feelings. She's grappling with the fact that you've been having feelings this entire time and were much more aware of it than her, and that didn’t make you weak, so maybe it doesn’t make her weak either?

[goodnightmemes]

KNIVES OUT (2019) SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ Anything you need. You’re part of this family. ❜

❛ Kids today, with the internet. It’s amazing. ❜

❛ I read a tweet about a New Yorker article about you. ❜

❛ I’m here at the behest of a client. ❜

❛ You will find me a respectful, quiet, passive observer of the truth. ❜

❛ Are you baiting me? ❜

❛ You think I am dumb enough to be baited into talking family business. ❜

❛ This is not how I wanted to have this conversation. ❜

❛ He’s always been the black sheep of the family. ❜

❛ Are you, goddamn, insane? ❜

❛ You tell her or I will! ❜

❛ I know it’ll hurt, but it’s all for the best. ❜

❛ I expect it’s going to be about something, if not extraordinary, then at least interesting. ❜

❛ Does having a kind heart make you a good nurse? ❜

❛ Just the thought of lying, yeah, it makes me puke. ❜

❛ Have you seen her insta? She’s an influencer. ❜

❛ Can I wait inside? I feel like I shouldn’t be here. ❜

❛ So, somebody suspects foul play.��❜

❛ It makes no damn sense. Compels me though. ❜

❛ I don’t know why we keep going over this. ❜

❛ Physical evidence can tell a clear story with a forked tongue. ❜

❛ Can you just take your goddamn medicine and go to bed? ❜

❛ You really love drama, huh? ❜

❛ Why can’t I beat you at this game? ❜

❛ Such a bad loser you are. ❜

❛ There’s so much of me in that kid. ❜

❛ Playing life like a game without consequence, until you can’t tell the difference between a stage prop and a real knife. ❜

❛ I don’t fear death. ❜

❛ I don’t fear death. But, oh God, I’d like to fix some of this before I go. ❜

❛ Hey. You had a long day. You wanna do drugs? ❜

❛ I messed up. ❜

❛ You know, this is an interesting and efficient method of murder. I need to write this down. ❜

❛ There is no time, you have to listen! ❜

❛ If what you said is true, I’m gone, there’s no saving me. ❜

❛ But you have to do exactly what I tell you. ❜

❛ Will you do this? This last thing. For me. ❜

❛ What do you want me to do? ❜

❛ It sounds crazy, but it will work. ❜

❛ Don’t lie. Tell fragments of the truth. ❜

❛ I keep waiting for the big reveal, where it all makes sense. Wouldn’t that be nice? ❜

❛ Jesus, I’m gonna disappear until the politics talk is done. ❜

❛ Something is afoot with this whole affair. I know it, and I believe you know it too. ❜

❛ I trust your kind heart. ❜

❛ Be it cruel or comforting, this machine unerringly arrives at the truth. ❜

❛ You do as I say and everything will be just fine. ❜

❛ Best judge of character is a dog. ❜

❛ I don’t feel like talking. I’m distraught. ❜

❛ People grieve in different ways. ❜

❛ I don’t know what any of that means. ❜

❛ Now, you heard something. Spill it. ❜

❛ Maybe this might finally make you grow up. ❜

❛ This might be the best thing that could ever happen to you. ❜

❛ Nothing good is ever easy. ❜

❛ Up your ass. ❜

❛ Matter of fact - eat shit, how’s that? ❜

❛ The game is afoot, eh Watson? ❜

❛ Please accept it with grace and without bitterness. But do accept it. ❜

❛ You little bitch! ❜

❛ Did you know about this? Were you in this from the beginning? ❜

❛ Were you boinking my father? ❜

❛ In the meantime I’d maybe run. ❜

❛ I’m not on Twitter anymore. ❜

❛ You look like you’re gonna pass out. Have you eaten anything today? ❜

❛ I know I shouldn’t say this out loud, but when he told me, I… Jesus, I coulda killed him. ❜

❛ You asshole. ❜

❛ Tell me everything. ❜

❛ There is much that remains unclear. ❜

❛ I suspect foul play. ❜

❛ I have eliminated no suspects. ❜

❛ You’ve come this far. Let me help you go all the way. ❜

❛ What’s going on? This isn’t you. ❜

❛ You should do whatever you think is right. ❜

❛ You have to make things right. ❜

❛ I want you to know I’m gonna take care of you. ❜

❛ You lay low for a couple of days. Wait for this investigation to blow over, and it will. ❜

❛ Are we rich? ❜

❛ Why is grief the providence of youth? ❜

❛ I’d imagine that age deepens all feelings. Including grief. ❜

❛ One thing I assume of age is weariness. Damned if I don’t get more tired every day. ❜

❛ I think you have something you wanna tell me. ❜

❛ I don’t like any of this. ❜

❛ What kind of blackmail scheme is this? ❜

❛ You regret helping me yet? ❜

❛ Oh my God. I’m just pure adrenaline right now, I feel like I swallowed bees. ❜

❛ That was the dumbest car chase of all time. ❜

❛ Strange case from the start. ❜

❛ Listen, I don’t know what you want. Whatever it is, we can work it out. ❜

❛ I don’t want any more surprises. ❜

❛ God, you’re not much of a detective, are you? ❜

❛ You make a pretty lousy murderer. ❜

❛ You’re a pack of vultures at the feast. ❜

❛ Is anybody else confused? ❜

❛ I’m so sorry. I told them everything, I figured it was up. I’m sorry. ❜

❛ You shared a love of twisting the knife into one another. ❜

❛ I’m warning you! ❜

❛ You won’t get away with this. ❜

❛ A twisted web. And we are not finished untangling it. Not yet. ❜

❛ This is stoopid with two o’s. ❜

❛ You don’t have a shred of evidence. You’re just spinning a fairy tale. ❜

❛ In for a penny, in for a pound. ❜

❛ I knew you were a no good son of a bitch! ❜

❛ And then you’ll see just how much hell I can wreak on your life. ❜

❛ You vicious little bitch! ❜

❛ What the shit!? ❜

❛ I want you to remember something that’s very important: you won not by playing the game his way, but yours. ❜

❛ You’re a good person. ❜

❛ I have my own opinion. But I have a feeling you’ll follow your heart. ❜

[dragonologist-writings]

Title: Shake the Dust Fandom: Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous Rating: G Status: One-Shot Main Characters: Knight-Commander Piper Chanterelle, Woljif Jefto Additional Notes: Friendship, Companion Quests, Woljif Gets A Hug Word Count: 1.1k Summary: Woljif has some mysteries to unravel and decisions to make. Piper's not about to let him go through any of that alone.

read below or here on ao3

“I’m coming with you.”

Piper doesn’t use her ‘Commander Voice’- she knows with Woljif, that’s likely to do more harm than good- but her tone still invites no argument. And there is no argument to be made, not even from Woljif, that could convince Piper to let him tackle whatever’s waiting for him in the city all on his own. To his dubious credit, Woljif still tries.

“You really don’t have to do that, chief!” His tail flicks back and forth, betraying the anxiety he’s so obviously trying to mask. “This is my business, and I can take care of myself. No need for you to waste your time getting all mixed up in it!”

Piper crosses her arms, unrelenting. Maybe he’s right: it’s his business, his family, his shadow whispering sinister directions in his ear. If he really wants to handle this on his own, she could easily let him. But Piper knows Woljif, and she knows that if he really didn’t want her involved, he could have easily left in the middle of the night with her being none the wiser. He could have come up with some excuse, however flimsy, that didn’t reveal his shadow’s growing power.

But he didn’t. He came to Piper with truth, and if that’s not a plea for help from somebody like Woljif, nothing is.

Besides, the thought of him wandering off on his own through this demonic city is too much to bear, and Piper knows she’d never forgive herself if something happened to him.

“Well, you didn’t have to drag yourself into the literal Abyss just to keep helping me. But you did.” Piper tilts her head, giving him both a smile and a sharp don’t-argue-with-me-on-this look. “So now it’s time to let me help you. Fair’s fair.”

“You sure?” Woljif’s expression flickers between relief and worry, and he’s obviously trying to hide both behind a veneer of nonchalance even as he bounces on his feet in nervous energy. “It’s not like you owe me anything.”

“I know. But what else are friends for?”

“Friends?” With a laugh, Woljif looks away, waving a hand at Piper’s words. “Aw, come on, chief. You know I don’t believe in stuff like that. But I guess if you really wanna come, I ain’t gonna fight you on it. Always a good idea to have a bodyguard, right?”

And Piper might be offended, if she didn’t catch the embarrassed smile on his face.

Much later- it feels like years, although in reality it can’t have been more than a few hours- Piper and Woljif are standing in the middle of an abandoned mansion with a dead demon and a broken amulet at their feet.

Piper lets out a long, low breath. “Well, that was…a lot.”

“Was it?” Woljif’s voice comes out slightly high-pitched. “Lemme think…” He drops to the ground gracelessly and begins ticking off points on his fingers.

“I found out I really am some sort of prince- guess I owe a lotta people their gold back, huh? I met my grandpa. I killed my grandpa. I coulda gotten myself some grand powers outta the deal, and instead I got this!” He holds up the amulet- or setting, rather, as the jewel Woljif once treasured is now gone.

“A shame we couldn’t save it,” Piper says lightly, kneeling down besides Woljif and tracing a finger over the chain. “But it’s still pretty.”

Woljif chuckles. “Yeah, it’s not so bad. I bet I’ll find an even nicer jewel to fill it once this whole crusade is done with.” He pauses, wrapping and unwrapping the amulet’s cord around his fingers. The repetitive motion seems to calm him, and after a moment he hesitantly adds, “And the funny thing is, I don’t regret getting rid of it. I don’t regret saying no to my grandpa. I think…I think I made the right call, for once.”

The statement is made with quiet confidence- not the loud, brazen picture Woljif usually presents to the world, but something far more sincere.

Piper smiles, and lightly bumps Woljif’s shoulder with her own. “That’s good.” And it is- Piper knows how it feels, to be offered power beyond your greatest dreams. Perhaps it was hypocritical of her to advise him against it; perhaps the fact that he turned it down means he’s stronger than she ever could be. “Woljif?”

“Yeah, chief?”

“I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, chief. For everything.” Woljif blinks a few times, and if Piper didn’t know any better she might say those are actually tears in his eyes. He continues on, stammering in a shaky voice as if trying to get the words out before he loses his nerve. “I really dunno why you’ve treated me so…I mean, I’m nothin’, and you’re…but yeah, you were right. We’re friends. Actually friends. And you’ve been there for me, more than my own family ever was. So, yeah, thanks, and- I mean, even if I’m not all good with words like you are…”

“Are you kidding? You’re perfect!” Piper exclaims. “Look, everyone else…they mean well, and I love them for it. But with all the politics and angels and royal assholes, you’re one of the few people who’s been keeping me sane.”

“You mean it?” Woljif asks sheepishly, and Piper’s heart nearly breaks. She knows this is all something new for him. And the truth is, it’s new for her, too. Everything in her life has been transient and temporary, and even now she can’t help but wonder how fair-weather her friends are. And Woljif, for all his flaws, understands that- understands Piper- better than anyone else.

“Of course I do. Demonspawn stick together, yeah?” She holds her fist up, and Woljif gives a watery chuckle as he bumps his knuckles against hers.

“We sure do.” Woljif wipes at his eyes and shakes his head. “Look at us. Sittin’ here sniffling like a couple of saps. Must be all the dust floatin' around here. Least we should be doing is robbing this place, right? I know it’s abandoned, but it’s still a mansion, and we’re not leaving a speck of gold behind!”

Piper laughs, and on impulse leans over and wraps Woljif in a hug. She pulls back quickly, slightly embarrassed as she says, “Sorry, I know you don’t really do that-”

But her apology is interrupted when Woljif pulls her back in, clutching her tightly with shaky arms.

“I’ll make an exception for you, chief,” he mutters, his voice thick. “But don’t you go telling nobody.”

Piper grins and hugs him back, trying not to make it obvious that she herself is now starting to tear up. “Wouldn’t dream of it. We came, we killed your grandfather, and we robbed this place blind. No crying at all. Typical thiefling business.”

“You know me well, chief. Guess that’s why we’re friends, huh?”

[annahanover]

i'm watching lempicka so i'm gonna put my thoughts here as they come ( @allieswithbenefits cause you reccomended this to me)

review: fucking beautiful. i don't have the words to describe it right now, but. oh my god. what a beautiful show.

this got a lot longer than i thought it would!! live reactions under the cut :)

act 1!

the music is all very pretty!

i'm a lightning nerd :) i really like the lighting

"do the bruises show? he can never know-" SHE FEELS SO GUILTY I'M GOING TO BE SICK

"what did you do to get me out?" "shh..." FUCK

"a painting is not a woman." "but i'm painting a woman?"

uh oh!! lesbianism?

LESBIANISM !!

"she's just a woman who's- pretty." uh huh yeah she is <3333

"won't rest 'til i have her- portrait." yeah ok, whatever you say ;)

BETH LEAVEL JUMPSCARE!! /aff

"a poet and a faggot, i don't know which i hate more." omg

once again!! lights!!

"you'll be surprised where a pretty smile can- take you... no, no, you don't have to smile for anyone." jesus christ i'm gonna be sick

"i had to become different from who i was. become steel to survive." "yeah. know all about that." i really love this conversation.

i wanna bite this audience /neg

i love Amber Iman actually

me too girlie. the audience going wild for a solid ten seconds yeah i would too

THEY KISSED !!

fucking. hate. this audience.

oh no slurs!

sobbing my eyes out right now demon what have you done to me

act 2!

"the world is changing. women like us are changing it." "it can always change back. and if it does, they will come for you."

this is staged so well!

this is starting to remind me of Cabaret

"you have other women, why shouldn't i?" one of my favorite lines ever actually

i love this dynamic so much actually. they still clearly love each other, they just... have others, too. they're doing great (<- hoping that this doesn't come back to haunt him)

"my husband, frank." "but francine to my friends." TRANS?? OR A DRAG QUEEN?? OR BOTH??

anyway song about loving women <33

small demon child

polyamory wouldn't fix them but it would be fun

i can't do this the music is so pretty it's killing me

these fucking sapphics

noooo the dynamic went wrong :(

"when?" "when the world is not in flames." "when will that be?"

hi beth leavel <33 it's really nice not seeing her in a heavily comedic role! obviously, in the prom, she was a hillarious character, and in bandstand, she had deeply serious moments, but seeing her in a role like this is... really special.

i'm crying 👍

and people didn't like this show??? broadway hates lesbians /hj

you coulda killed me and it would've hurt less /pos /pos /pos

[rinskazuu]

rating record of ragnarok characters /10, because i can.

DISCLAIMER: i’m only rating the characters based off what the manga & anime has portrayed. i’ve done little to no research on these people themselves, which is why i don’t condone anything immoral that they’ve done. this was written before the release of chapter 73+

a/n: i think i wanna do this for every anime + genshin & val. PLS WATCH IT & LMK IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT. also i dont care abt grammatical and/or punctual errors, this is a shit post

MANGA SPOILER WARNING!!

THOR: first of all, he’s so fucking hot. his smile caught me so off guard tho, i kinda just stood there watching the screen, baffled. not much character to him, he’s just hot. 7/10

LU BU: i’m chinese, i literally feel so happy when i see chinese characters. biased, but definitely a plus. he, just like thor, has little to no character. first character i called hot, is hot, but there are hotter characters. (what, i am not talking abt hermes wdym?) 7/10

HERMES: 10/10. no explanation. my man right there. i literally scream & cream every time i see him. why is he so fine. not a single panel or clip where he looks bad. pls eat me out, sir i beg. i will serve you. ONE CHANCE. JUST ONE?? i’m in love with him. who needs real men or women when hermes.

GOLL: she is SO ANNOYING. her eng & jp voice are both annoying asl. she’s that one character, that exists in mostly every anime, used to explain background info & battle info on other characters. brunhilde is too nice on her. she reminds me of when i first saw yachi (haikyuu) on screen. yachi, too, was annoying. but i grew to love her🫶. 1/10

BRUNHILDE: SHES SO HOT. ATE. SHE ALDNAHDISKZ. yeah, what else is there to say? 8/10

APHRODITE: she truly lives up to her version in the greek mythology. hottest woman/goddess alive. ate. her boobs, i want to squish them & bury my face in them. WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HOLD THEM? 8/10

ZEUS: idgaf what anyone says, he’s not hot. not even his younger self. he looks like mirio (mha) turned netero (hxh). love his character tho. the eyes scared me at first. he’s hilarious. 5/10

ADAM: my friend, the one who recommended snv to me, told me he’d be more my type. he was, minus the fact that’s he literally butt fucking naked. nice ass cheeks tho. def pretty boy, his wife is hot too. i want her more😋. his line abt fighting for his children made me cry. should’ve won. i say, let hermes be uncleless & fatherless. 7/10

POSEIDON: he was fs the blueprint for adam. anywho, yk hes fine. SOOO FINE. meowing for him. he doesn’t beat hermes tho. nobody beats hermes. well, look wise at least. it was rlly hard choosing who to root for in this fight. that’s a lie, i was always on humanity’s side. sad he died:( 9/10. -1 for being a little, arrogant, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 8/10

SASAKI KOJIRO: see, zeus coulda been hot like him at that old age. man aged like fine wine. character was a W. hot, determined, good character, funny. what else can you want from a man? 8/10

HERACLES: disappointed. so disappointed. he looked better in the disney ver. this fight was so boring for me. you’re telling me i’m supposed to watch the fight instead of ogling at hot characters? no. character was okay. 6/10

JACK THE RIPPER: massive L. not supporting a murderer. next. 0/10

SHIVA: hot from the beginning. 4 arms? do what you want to me, sir. 3 WIVES? tengen (kny), is that you bro?😭 anywho, he’s cocky, def my type irl LMAO. i wouldn’t let that slide tho.. his wives are hot too😋 8/10

RAIDEN TAMEEMON: i paid very little attention to this fight. don’t remember his backstory too well (i read this fight not even 24 hours ago btw). not that good looking, not ugly either. i liked his character, upset he took 3 of shiva’s arms. why 3? why not 2? he got 1 arm left. 4/10

BUDDHA: THATS MY GOD RIGHT THERE. ate. i’m not religious, and neither are my family, but they are buddhist, so by default, i am too. i personally think buddhism is the best religion, but we’re not gonna get into that. i have very valid reasons btw. love his personality, love his looks. massive W. ofc he fights for humanity. he’s a walking W. 9/10

ZEROFUKU: precious. definition of deserved better. what made me sad, is how he was written during the fight. he’s consistently hitting, with little to no strategy. his backstory is sad, but his battle exp was written poorly. also the random ass monster possessing took me tf out. 7/10

HADES: fine ass mf. he’s so different from how he’s usually portrayed, both look & personality wise. the first W netflix has pulled. he’s hot and responsible? persephone, we can share him babes. also, the relationship between him & poseidon made me SOB. like actually. hurt so bad i made an angst edit. 9/10

QIN SHI HUANG: first off, i don’t do research on my own ethnicity’s history. i didn’t even know who tf lu bu was. my family knew tho. with that aside, PROUD TO BE CHINESE❗️ he’s so fine. SO FINE. the way his character was written, was wonderful. i loved the fight between him & hades. the tension & the lengths they went to try & win. 9/10

BEELZEBUB: his backstory was so tragic. what i didn’t like, was how they rushed his & lilith’s story. like, they kinda randomly said i love you to each other. i’d love to see their adventures tgt. lilith, leave that emo thing, and come be w me. he’s fine too. i rlly like how they introduced him. 8/10

NIKOLA TESLA: i don’t have much of an opinion on him. very chatty, which i don’t actually mind. i guess we’ll have to wait for more chapters to release before i form an opinion on him. 5/10

ODIN: the hair bro. THE HAIR. i keep forgetting he exists, but i’m not his biggest fan. not bad, but i prefer his sons. i do like the theory of him being a traitor. he looks the part. 5/10

LOKI: honestly, i liked him a lot in the beginning, but now, it’s like he’s kinda on the side. cute & hot. thor is the better brother tho. speaking of, how tf are they even brothers? moving on, i like his personality. i like his shocked, mixed w angry, facial expressions more. 7/10

ARES: the hair again. very stylish, i do like it, but it took me out. walking around looking like a school girl. i don’t like how he tries to be a know-it-all w hermes, when he literally relies on him for info. but that’s my man for you. his expressions are SO WELL. 6/10

ADAMAS: i was awfully confused, at first, when there were 3 older brothers to zeus. usually, it’s just hades, poseidon & zeus. not his biggest fan, his character was rushed. 4/10

BONUSES

JESUS: i was very happy to see jesus. i’m not sure why, i just was. why is he the only character, THAT LOOKS LIKE THEMSELVES? 9/10

LU BU SIMP AGENCY: 10/10. i don’t need to say anymore. W cheng gong. love that man.

FORSETI: what a loser. he was so annoying. 2/10

EVE: mother? mommy? whatever. MEOW. 9/10

SASAKI SIMP AGENCY: love them as well. 10/10. walking Ws all around.

i don’t think i’m missing anyone, am i?

[yogupink]

Emma’s death is so lame to me

it makes me hate kisaki and izana but i’ll get to him in a second

Kisaki sucks to the deepest hottest pits of hell and back again. Like him using Kazutora to kill Baji was the first strike. Leaving Chifuyu all tied up was the second strike. My very last goddamn nerve with him is killing my bbg. Like buddy your doing all this to spite my man Take because he took your girl in the fifth grade??? AND STILL HAD BEEF TWELVE YEARS LATER!!! AND he killed her so mikey would be sad. BRO WHAT THE FLIP??? But back to the took your girl thing: like bro I would’ve been there from you frfr. He coulda used him some cookies & cream 😝. Shit don’t get me wrong Kisaki isn’t ugly by any means if i had three minutes with him for atleast half that time i would beat his ass and the other half is me aggressively making out with him.

my final thoughts on Kisaki Tetta: fuck him in both ways

NOW IZANA

I personally don’t have a lot of knowledge on Izana and his character but personally i don’t give a fuck 😽

It’s the fact Kakucho begged him not to. BEGGED. For him not to kill bae but he still did and the fact that he green lit that shit makes me wanna shave him bald and leave him in the sun so he gets a sun burn on his bald ass head. LIKE BRO that’s your “sister” THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?? It just pisses me off that he green lit it. Distracted my bfs. THEN WALKED AWAY with her ON THE FLOOR bleeding to death after being hit by a metal pole by someone zooming on a fucking motorcycle. However just like Kisaki I can’t deny that he’s fine in a way.

My final thoughts on Izana Kurokawa: Get some fucking therapy

But at the same time i love their characters so much because of the fact of what they’ve done and that they did kill Emma. It makes a great villain/antagonist when they harm a character you like thus making it better when they get fucked up (Izana made me sad at that part cause it was emotional :3 ). Like when Hanma came in and swooped up his lil boy toy (Kisaki) I was beyond pissed. (i’m a hanma enthusiast) I wanted nothing more then for Kisaki to get his shit rocked by everyone and then when he died baji would fuck him up in the afterlife. But Hanma with his dumb ass bike took him away (my face when that happened 🫤). I’m all for helping my boyfriend (i’m single) but let the mf get jumped

This is getting to long and i can yap for hours abt this ask for a part two and you’ll get it. (if you ask abt ran or rindou they can do no wrong)

[sky-kiss]

Okay, your OC is a love interest, what does their first romance cutscene look like?

A/N: Sassy, this is such an amazing question. I hope it’s alright that I did it for my three main idiots (I have another, but he’s just an old man for Jaheira lol). 

Scrungus: (Cowboy lizard)

Being an Oath of Redemption paladin, Scrungus isn’t overly romantic. He’s very kind, but he’s more focused on the wellbeing of the group. The incident with the goblins leaves him a little down, so he’s melancholy post party. The PC has to seek him out. He gives you a little smile, tips his head. If you offer him wine, he politely declines. 

“Had to be done. Couldn’t have ‘em running along the coast, know that. Still…ain’t sitting right. Coulda done more. Shoulda, I reckon.” 

If you mention you would have liked to dance at the party: “Would have been good to see…ain’t much point killin’ if you’re not enjoy living.” 

If you ask him if he knows how to dance, or would have danced with you, he gives you a little grin. Yeah, he picked it up somewhere along the line. In a little village, years back, after a fight just like this. Used to be pretty good. But don’t hold him to it. He’d hate to step on your toes. 

If you point out that the goblins and the Absolute left you no choice: 

He agrees, but finds it unfortunate. Worse folks have turned their back on evil. 

If you go to hold his hand, he chuckles and moves it away. 

No offense meant, but he’s got one responsibility. Gotta see you through the city. No use muddling things. 

You spend the night talking about your past, his, maybe he tells you a story about some absurd devil or demon he talked round to redemption. It’s ridiculous. He lets the PC lean against his shoulder and doesn’t move them when they doze off against his chest. 

Evoi: (Evil, evil, evil AU!Joi; it’s early, and she’s…untempered) 

Goblin-party only. She’s turned on by the stink of carnage and the way you looked while slaughtering the Grove. She makes this very evident, very early into the party, sidling up to the PC, nosing their throat. 

Blood-slick, hunter-kin—soak in carnage, baptize her in your sweet cries. 

She’s going to fuck you. Consent is optional, sorry. Will lick every drop of blood off your character. It’s a lot of kissing and biting. Going to absolutely devour/go down on the PC. You’re her pet now (and she’s obsessive, crazy, generally the worst). 

Joi: (Amnesia Girl)

Joi still has no idea what’s going on or who she is at this point. The scene will have more variance compared to the above, based largely on player input. Most of  her reactions are going to be emulating the PC’s drive. I.e if you’re interested in talking, she’ll be softer and happily talk, but consistently direct the conversation away from her. If the PC is more forward and wants sex, she’ll fall back into that role. 

Is likely very similar to Astarion in that she’s unsure she wants to have sex at that point, but it feels natural, normal, and a way to like…establish rapport. And since she has nothing personal to offer, why not sex? It’s the best she can do. 

If the PC opts to take things more slowly, she’s comforted. Wants to hold the PC’s hand or sit in their lap/beside them. She’s naturally very physical, and the slow!route still reflects that. If the PC asks whether she enjoyed the party, Joi is puzzled and admits that she doesn’t know. Saving the tieflings felt strange, almost wrong, but she likes it. 

Platonic/Slowburn route: Joi asks your PC to tell her about their life, stroking their hair. She thanks the PC for sharing and kisses them. 

Sex route: Joi is enthusiastic, but distant. Leads the encounter, focused on pleasuring PC. The morning after, she is more conflicted and admits she did not sleep well.

[written-in-the-stars3]

a queen and her knights

fandom: ensemble stars

characters: tsukinaga leo & narukami arashi

words: 1853

“Do you hear it, Naru?”

The question snapped Arashi back into reality, her gaze meeting Leo’s expectant one. “Yes I hear it, Leo-kun. It’s a beautiful song.”

Leo huffed and crawled over to Arashi, inches away from her face where she could smell the faint essence of coffee from him. “No, no! You aren’t listening carefully, Naru!” He huffed and paused the song. “Listen carefully once again. Do you not hear the story?”

A/N: here’s another one from my ao3 that I wrote a while back!

Papers scattered all across the rehearsal room floor, Leo paying no mind as his friends tiptoed over them— the ginger far too absorbed in what was about to be his next masterpiece.

As rehearsal came to an end, the rest of knights said their goodbyes as they dispersed… or at least that is what Leo thought they were doing, he wasn’t really paying attention anyways. It wasn’t until he heard Arashi’s voice wishing him a good night that he finally looked up towards the door;

“Naru, wait! Coulda come look at this for me?”

Arashi looked back as he gestured towards the scattered music sheets. Was she really the best person to ask to look over his work? Ritsu and Izumi would have made the most sense. However, it wasn’t every day that Leo reached out to her about his music so she was a little intrigued.

“I can’t really make sense of it like this, Leo-kun…” Arashi mumbled, taking a seat on the ground as she looked through the sheets with notes scribbled all over them. “Would you have an audio sample for me?”

“Oh! Yeah I do! I forgot you can’t imagine it like I do!” Leo laughed and crawled over towards his laptop, blindly hitting one of the keys to play the new melody he had been working on.

Arashi was well aware of the sleepless nights that Leo had pulled to put together this song and his efforts were evident as the beautiful melody flowed through the wires and into her ears. As expected from our genius composer. There was something comforting about the song— she couldn’t exactly put her finger on it but it was like it reached out to her, grasping her within a warm embrace. As if this song was written solely for her.

The melody had no words, yet it felt like it was speaking to her.

“Do you hear it, Naru?”

The question snapped Arashi back into reality, her gaze meeting Leo’s expectant one. “Yes I hear it, Leo-kun. It’s a beautiful song.”

Leo huffed and crawled over to Arashi, inches away from her face where she could smell the faint essence of coffee from him. “No, no! You aren’t listening carefully, Naru!” He huffed and paused the song. “Listen carefully once again. Do you not hear the story?”

Was she missing something? Had Leo provided them with lyrics that she may have missed? There were no words to the song just yet— she had assumed that he would be working on them with his little sister who was seemingly gifted in that department.

“You never told me the lyrics were done, Leo-kun—”

“No no no! I haven’t gotten to that point. Sheesh, don’t ya know how to use your imagination, Naru? I expected that from Sena but not you— shit, unless you’re getting tainted by him the more you spend time around him! Naru has been infected with Sena disease!”

Okay, now he had totally lost her. Just when Arashi thought she was finally starting to understand the former king, his eccentric ways and outbursts had her feeling more lost than ever.

“I’m not sure what you are talking about, Leo-kun..” Arashi blinked, going to remove the headphones but was stopped by Leo’s hands over her own.

“Try listening again… Close your eyes and I will tell you the story if you can’t imagine it. My imagination is endless.” Green orbs stared back at her, glistening with determination and not even giving her a chance to say no.

Sighing, Arashi nodded in agreement. “I would very much like to know what you’re talking about.”

Clapping his hands, Leo guided Arashi to lay down on the hard floor of the rehearsal room, who did so without any questions. Leo laid down beside her, shoulders just barely touching as he placed his laptop onto his stomach, finger hovering over the play button. “Close your eyes and just listen.” She did as she was told, her eyes fluttering shut and he played the song from the start, setting the device to the side yet again.

The familiar new tune filled her ears yet again— however it was nothing different than the first time she heard it. Without a doubt it was a beautiful song, one that seemed to reach out to her, filled her up with ease… but she couldn’t make out what it was conveying. What story was Leo trying to tell?

“The story takes place in a beautiful kingdom, somewhere far away…” Leo began. “Now the village and kingdom had its fair share of problems, as beautiful as they might appear. It was anything but perfect.”

Arashi kept her eyes closed, focusing on Leo’s words and the music as she tried to envision the kingdom that Leo spoke of.

“The kingdom was ruled by a Queen— not your typical evil Queen from fairy tales or a damsel in distress. No, she was a pretty awesome and strong ruler.”

“If she was as strong and awesome as you are saying, then why was the kingdom having so many issues?” Arashi hummed, only to be shushed by Leo.

“Well she was pretty strong and awesome… but she was still only human. Struck by grief from the loss of a dear comrade, self-doubt. Some may say she had her heart shielded for the longest time and wasn’t at all the kindest person earlier on in her life.”

Arashi paused. This story… What was Leo playing at with this? “I… I thought you said she wasn’t an evil Queen, Leo-kun. Your story already has plot holes.”

Leo chuckled softly. “There’s a difference between being evil and being hurt and closing your heart to protect yourself.” He reasoned as he stretched his limbs out like a little orange cat. “Now, back to the story…just as any person does, she grew from her experiences and slowly bettered herself. She started opening her heart to more friends, some of her closest friends being four knights.”

Her eyes opened as she turned to lay on her side, gazing back at Leo who laid there with his eyes closed and a small smile on his face.

“And then were things better for her and the kingdom after that?”

Opening his eyes, Leo turned to lay on his side so he was facing Arashi— her soft yet fearful eyes on him, pleading for an answer as if she had caught onto his story. “Things aren’t that simple, Naru. Despite the changes in her heart, things were far from perfect. Sometimes she felt like she had no control over anything. Life felt like an endless battle. As if everything she worked so hard for was falling apart.”

A soft silence filled the room, Arashi removing the headphones to set aside. “Then how did she fix things? Was she even able to…?”

“Well if she kept insisting to take everything onto herself, she would only be headed towards self destruction! Whenever any of her friends tried reaching out to her she would just brush it off insisting she was fine and laugh it off!” He exclaimed— he seemed far too into the story but Arashi found herself absorbed into it too. No wonder the song reached out to her… it was about her. No, stop being so conceited. It’s merely a coincidence. Leo-kun’s imagination just runs wild. “Now, her knights were the most frustrated with her behavior. At this rate she was going to drag herself to hell and for what? Not wanting anyone to feel sorry for her? For not wanting to appear weak? Heck, who knew what her motives were! I guess she wanted to seem reliable and strong for everyone. Protect them all so no one would have to go through the pain she endured… I dunno, her motives were confusing even for them.”

“Leo-kun… is this story—” No, she couldn’t bear to hear the answer for that question. Knowing Leo, he might play it off as nothing. But if there was the slightest chance it was about her without even a glimpse of a happy ending… “So what happened to her? Did she drive herself to madness? Or did her knights have to step in to save her?”

The fear in her voice was evident as Leo reached over to clasp her hand between his two. She seemed more intrigued than he could have anticipated. Ah, he definitely managed to strike something within her. “Nope, like I said, she wasn’t a damsel in distress that needed saving! But, that doesn’t mean they didn’t help her.”

Fingers intertwined, a gentle and reassuring smile on Leo’s face as if he were telling Arashi to relax and that everything would be alright. Arashi let out a soft and shaky breath.

“It took many interventions, given the Queen was a very stubborn woman. But, they managed to get through to her— not as her knights who wanted to protect her, but as her friends who wanted to support her, show her that she didn’t need to face the world on her own.”

Arashi squeezed his hand in relief, her lips curling into a small smile. “So it was a happy ending after all?”

“Hmm, I suppose you can say that! The thing with this story is that while it ended, it didn't stop there!” Leo explained. “Sometimes the Queen would find herself falling back into old habits, after all, she is only human. But her friends would always remind her that she was being a dummy. Now, whenever they conquer things together, they are invincible. Sometimes they fuck up too, but it’s something they deal with together if it ever happens.”

Silence followed with the exception of clothes shuffling as Arashi shifted closer to Leo and rested her chin on his shoulder, fingers still intertwined as they refused to part. Her heart pounded against her chest— a sound that caught Leo’s ears which had him squeezing her hand yet again in reassurance.

Taking a deep breath to level herself, Arashi finally spoke up yet again; “That sounds like a wonderful story, Leo-kun… it’s perfect for such a beautiful melody.”

Leo beamed at the praise, fingers unclasping to wrap his arms around Arashi in a tight hug. It was an awkward position, but neither of them paid much mind to it. They remained like that for what felt like minutes but in reality was probably a few seconds— for once the silence felt comforting rather than filling them with dread.

“Hey, Naru?” Of course Leo was first to break the silence, the ginger pulling back so he was facing her yet again. “Do you wanna help me with the lyrics?”

Usually Leo would only entrust Ruka with something like lyric writing. Songwriting was their thing so for Leo to suggest something like that was quite a big deal. With the way the song spoke to Arashi, it was truly an honor to be able to assist Leo with something as important as finding the perfect words for the song.

Once again, her arms wrapped around his shoulders in a tight hug. “I would love that, Leo-kun.”

[charleslee-valentine]

Cats in The Cradle

Characters: Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair (no ships)

Word Count: ~6,000

Warnings: Abuse, cyclical abuse, toxic dynamics, Bo has complications from the surgery (missing cerebellum) and obsessive compulsive disorder, mental breakdowns, gun violence, delusions, religious trauma, implied sexual abuse, murder and the wax figures, Bo being mean to Vincent, blood and injury, vomiting, medical irresponsibility, paranoia, trauma bond.

~~~~~~~

Every day in Ambrose is the same. It’s when there’s change the trouble comes along.

Makes Lester world-weary. Got to run off on his little rot-filled road trips for some air. Though he stays tethered to the house, even if only at the end of the night, when he’s got to wander home for normalcy. It ain’t about the protection, he’s got a slugger under the seat for that, and it ain’t the occasional cooking his brothers get up to and burn each time either. He’s grown enough get shit done, even if it’s the ass crack of dawn outside and he ain’t eaten in a whole day, he’ll whip somethin’ up.

That’s the argument anyhow. That he can take well enough good care of himself to be allowed to roam some. Don’t make sense that he’d be the first, bein’ the youngest and all, but the antsier he got, the messier he got with the huntin’, and suddenly his big brothers had to leave Ambrose to track some fella that got out through the trees Lester was s’posed to be watchin’.

Thought that would get him strung up himself. A perfect wax Lester placed inside Trudy’s pride and joy tendin’ to little, pure wax, babies. Maybe down the pet store with Jonsey’s pups that never come to be, or shovelin’ shit out in the cemetery. That’d be like them, to leave him outside to melt and wither away.

Never come though. Got him a reprimandin’ sure, but he left it with a smile anyhow knowin’ big brother wasn’t gonna use his own bowie to slit his throat. And then again when Vinny told him he could leave on the condition he started tendin’ to himself and his chores without help from either brother, and come home every night.

Really if it were up to Vincent, they’d all get the same freedoms, but it weren’t. Never was going to be, when Mama kept him firm in her shadow. Bo’d kill ‘em all if he caught wind of Lester’s thinkin’ it, but fact is he figures Bo just replaced Mama when she keeled over.

Trudy was out her mind the last few years of it. Never went to no homes, despite what Bo likes to tell folks. They stayed and fixed Mama up. Ambrose got empty and miss Trudy got needy. It was every day pickin’ up shifts the tradesmen was droppin’, leavin’ the schoolhouse forever. Old fashioned as it was, s’not like they was learnin’ anything in a one-room, all-grades schoolhouse anyhow.

Still woulda been nice to have a shot at normal. Coulda left with the rush and forgot about highchairs and smelly wax. Nope.

Now Bo’s jus’ as mean as Trudy, enforcin’ his rule with the same flat palm. ‘Cept’n the part where his is rung around with scars.

Different, ‘cause Trudy’s off burnin’ in hell, not missed by a soul, but they stick close with Bo. Know it ain’t really his fault.

The Doc called it compulsions. Some kinda disorder come from havin’ to lose a piece or two of the lowest part of his brain in the surgery. Lester never gonna forget bein’ tiny as can be, sat on the table cause Trudy put him down and forgot him there, while Bo, who seemed so much older back then when the six years made a difference, was strapped down. They’d use the highchair still if they could, but he was too big and awful by then.

Shove him in a standard dining chair and tape his arms underneath. Let him cry and try to kick and pull and bare his teeth. Lester was just learnin’ to speak, and he’d asked what was happening’, curious about all the shouting and pain.

Bo told a little lie turns out. Same thing with the surgery, his mind would wander back then, forgetting what made reality real and made the stuff in his head not. He carved up some critter and left it in the art studio. Said Trudy gave him permission. Well she didn’t. Little Vinny was her artist, and notably, nowhere to be seen in this memory, autonomous enough to stay away, but never going far.

Must’ve hurt him too, listenin’ to Bo losin’ his mind now and again. Knowin’ it was him that leeched off the back of his head and absorbed that one important little piece out his skull. Payback for the whole, not having a tongue, thing.

Nowadays Bo’s a little better, but Ambrose still got to be pretty particular to not send him right back to the pale, polished arms of the hallucinations. Those belong in the casket down the road.

Lester blames Trudy. Even when he goes with to honor her when Bo needs to do it. Every Sunday is when he’s down there, so ‘less he’s got a job Lester’ll come down to see. Vincent’s usually there too, if nobody been through in a while.

They take off their hats and masks, bow their heads, and pray. They pretend they don’t notice Bo’s hips and knees splayed wide in an arc and struggling to walk straight when that metaphorical mask of the Doc’s training wares off. His hands shake. His words don’t come out right. Sometime’s Lester’s the only one in the house usin’ words, while the twins do their motioning about.

Really should’ve gotten more interested in those sign language books he’d been given way back when. It was funny, a lady on the TV could use sign ‘cause she couldn’t hear words and that meant she couldn’t make ‘em. Trudy saw it and was livid. Banned them all from 123 Sesame Street and whooped Bo for even turning it on. Like it was bad to communicate.

If Vincent knew how to make his signs back then, maybe he’d have told the papers the truth. After all it was Mama that did the talking. Givin’ him words gave him the chance to say no. To bein’ her little protege and heir. Like hell she’d ever let that happen. Had to teach it to himself in secret. Bo picked it up from watchin’ and snatchin’ up Vinny’s books and papers to tease.

Lester wishes he were that smart. Hell, Doc even said it himself, sometimes seemed like he was born with even less brain than Beauregard. ‘Cept he had a different name for Bo all the boys promised never to repeat. They’d get nasty, but none of that usin’ Mama and Papa against each other.

Prolly why they’s too scared to tell Bo he’s becomin’ like Trudy. Stumblin’, shakin’, pissed at everything.

Ambrose falls well into his liking. Bo got it all down to memory.

Bodies he don’t like don’t even go on display. Vincent could work his big ass off on a statue for weeks, but if Bo couldn’t squeeze it into however he’d categorized the town in imaginary gridlines, they’d be put on reserve. The wax house held the rejects, mostly. Once upon a time Vincent left Lester a note tellin’ him he sometimes dressed the statues up funny and messed up their makeup if they were his favorites, so Bo would reject them, and he’d get to keep ‘em. Worked every time too.

Be nice if they could laugh about things like that anymore. ‘Specially with Bo.

A new batch come through back in the early spring, just a couple months shy of a year or so ago then, and filled up lots of the empty space. Mostly went to the theater. Baby Jane and sister Blanche didn’t used to be lightin’ the place up with their sad story, they just tossed an old closed sign up ‘til the bodies rolled in.

It pissed Bo off when Lester was helpin’ him and wanted to put his statues in a line. Made sense, like they was all friends together! But Bo had it all mapped in his head, talkin’ who’s clothes matched who, color in their hair matchin’ with the number on their seats. That was more confusin’ than his fits.

Most of the time in Ambrose his workday was tidying, checkin’ on rat traps and the like. But sometimes when Lester could slip in a lunch break or two off patrol he’d see Bo pacin’. Drawin’ lines in the sky with his hands, mutterin’, kickin’ things. Like inside the theater but on the whole town.

Funny thing is they do gotta crown a new Miss Ambrose once in a while.

The silky bright colors of a beauty queen dress stand out far too much against the pale, sunfaded town they live in. Her smile too white, the makeup too sparkly. Bo tears the bodies to bits and takes them back to Vinny, like a child with his broken toy.

There’s nothin’ he can do, and they both know it, but Bo is different from Trudy in that he will admit regret. Not directly, he’d sooner swallow a gator in one bite, but showin’ the broken pieces is still better than tyin’ ‘em down to hide.

At least most of the time it ain’t like that. One thing he’s always picky about is the lights. Town gotta come to life some time, but Bo’s got a tradition. Generators don’t kick on ‘til he flips the switch manually, else he’ll block the sky with the burning neons of mom’s and pop’s updating with the times, and firey orange street lights. Bo insists they don’t got color. Just a disgusting haze that makes it hard to see. Lester takes the accusation of him being wrong, even though he knows it’s Bo’s head.

And he’s gotta see the sky. Star light, star bright, first star and all that- it’s his one shot at a wish. Not even his brother’s knows what he wishes for each night, peekin’ his head out the window ‘fore callin’ down to Vincent to flip the switch.

Maybe to make Ambrose perfect the way he sees it in his head, so he can stop runnin’ around town tryin’ to adjust it all. Finding those little pockets of feelings and digging in until anythin’ that stands out has to go.

Way back when, Lester kinda hoped Bo would set him free by thinkin’ he didn’t match. Not like he was part of the squirming mass his brother’s was born as. Nobody remembered Lester. Not for bein’ quiet and shy or for bein’ devilish.

Longer he stays though, he knows it’s not really Bo takin’ real care of Ambrose. His head needs it perfect, destroyin’ progress for somethin’ only he can reach and grasp and toss about like it means anything as a scolding hot weapon. Perfection burns hotter, stings worse than wax, and Trudy Sinclair wanted both from her boys.

Trudy might’ve been sick physically, but it come along long before that. Only a matter of time before Bo’s head gets angry ‘bout the dank environment up there and tries to plug it’s missing bits with the same cancer that took Mama the rest of the way to hell.

She had to’ve been there before she died. Else she wouldn’t have done what she did on her way out. Her last words. “Beauregard. Bo.. Promise me you’ll keep Ambrose tidy. You were Mama’s boy. Kept things in line. Don’t let it got to chaos, to hell.”

It was bullshit. If she weren’t already gasping for life Lester might’ve grabbed her throat then and there. Vince knew it too, cause he stepped in front of Les and went to Bo. Chest to back, the way they was conjoined, he’d tried to force his whispers with his half of a tongue, getting at least his twin’s attention to start gesturing.

“Don’t listen.”

“Mama is a liar.”

“You know how you are. You know how she is. Don’t.”

It was hopeless.

That word again. The Doc said compulsions, well sometimes he also said obsessions. Same disorder, different symptom. Neither one Bo could escape. Even if he’d been listenin’ to his brother, which he wasn’t.

All he heard was Hell and that was enough. Bo was terrified of the spiritual. They all oughta remember the way he’d been in church, even when it was full, bawlin’ his head off, havin’ those fits ‘cause he thought he was goin’ to face demons and hellfire for breakin’ rules. The panic meant he kept breakin’ rules, and he kept gettin’ scared, and so on.

It was a trap to scare kids into bein’ good, nothin’ worth anythin’ in adult life, but those Sunday mornin’s Bo kneels at Trudy’s coffin and prays for real, not just at her but at any God that will listen and spare him and his brothers. If Ambrose can be a haven, when it reaches that state of perfection, they’ll be guaranteed eternal life away from screamin’ babies and burning wrists and “please Mama I was doin’ my best-“

The script Bo operates on never ceases. Pretty girls get their mouths glued shut so they have to follow it. Lester drives the same route to catch the same folks and scrape the same families of deer off the roads. Hell it ain’t official, if it were he couldn’t keep the little trinkets and bones he does. Or the meat. But it covers well and no government gonna complain about free labor from a guy like him.

With the girls, they’re just like the deer. Bo takes their pictures and calls them sweet things, but he’s on repeat. Same task, get the restraints, tune out the noise or find a way to stop it, stay sickly sweet with ‘em all the while. Throw in some affection so they don’t fight so much.

Just. Like. Mama.

Lester don’t much like toyin’ with the art. Feels like goin’ in a museum and draggin’ your fingers all over the paint. Which actually is somethin’ Bo would probably do, if it wasn’t up to his standard, takin’ the whole frame and just tossin’ it right out. But they stay neat and displayed on his cellar walls, in scattered checkerboard rows that Bo thinks are straight across.

Thing that always stumps Lester, and Vincent actually, is when he catches Bo slicing little knicks under his fingertips. His palms. Adding newer scars to the thick band around each of his wrists. Always says the girls died too soon. Broke the script, the rules. Now he’s gotta make up for the pain that would be cast into the realm of Ambrose if it weren’t for the failure of another little miss coulda been the one. As if.

They ain’t for keeps. Nothin’ is. Ambrose changes, and changes, and changes. Still every day is the same.

Wake up at a certain time, make the rounds, play pretend, sit itchin’ by the one landline behind a locked door that works, waitin’ for Lester’s call home. If it don’t come in a few minutes, it’s down to make his rounds countin’ heads. Move a few things this way and that on the store shelves. Hang up a picture or two cut out meticulously (as shaky hands can be) from books and magazines, a mimic of the ranging advertisements on display in the bigger cities.

Not a mimic. A replication. Nothin’ bad, nothin’ wrong- that thing is not my baby!

Bo spirals a lot. When he’s on his own. Part of why he’s got to dig his hands so deep into Ambrose. There’s shame in it he tries to squash down with mixtures of somethin’ too strong for a normal day. Mixin’ rum and brandy in a big bottle of orange juice. Vodka in his morning coffee.

Drunk Bo is more coordinated than sober. That little cocktail comes to work with him, and he makes do. Let it be known he isn’t the twin to come away with an issue. Can’t be. He’s mama’s boy, remember?

Lester is sickened by it. Watchin’ his trances like that, knowin’ it’s all ‘cause of Trudy in her final moments.

Shit they didn’t even need to do the killin’, ‘f Bo coulda got his head screwed on a right way. Too late now ‘course. They’re hundreds of innocent lives deep in this thing. Got themselves a dog outta killin’ her owner. Another responsibility, a life to keep up.

Jonsey herself stresses Bo out to no end. Her wagging tail, her happy jumpin’ when she recognizes her dearest friends. When she barks at creaky staircases settlin’ at night, his jaw sets so tight his teeth creak audibly. If he got a cut, he won’t touch the dog. Says it’ll kill him to get any of her in with his blood. Seems silly to Lester, by Bo’s designation the one that plays in guts and bone splinters all day, gettin’ plenty of that himself.

Sometimes a storm’ll roll through in rain season and bring some nasty wind with it, scarin’ the life outta the poor puppy dog. She starts to shake and drool all over. It makes Bo so nauseous to watch he has to leave the room or hack up that nasty concoction he drinks that shouldn’t be stayin’ down anyhow.

Vince stays, always stays, ‘cause someone’s got to. Bo’s a flight risk and Lester just don’t much like bein’ the trapped one. So it’s a system set in stone, or carved in blood and bone more like. Breathed in like the ashes of Bo’s more or less wasted cigarettes.

Way Lester sees it, just like the papery stubs, the routine gotta but extinguished ‘fore they all choke to death on it.

But he hadn’t meant for things to get so different.

Like even thinkin’ it cursed the place, he sends one scrawny group their way and suddenly Bo’s bleedin’ all over the kitchen tiles. Wouldn’t even know it if Vincent hadn’t dialed his bother’s number and left the phone in Bo’s pocket. Keepin’ tabs on his pain so Lester can hear it all and know somethin’s up.

The arrow in his chest stays right there, until Lester pulls up. Somethin’ about knowing Vince called in backup is sign enough to take it serious. Insists on doing it himself though.

Lester says they oughta snip the arrow where it lies and take him to emergency later on. Bo says he’d rather die now than leave a vulnerable spot stickin’ six inches out his chest. Yanks it ‘til his knees buckle and he damn near smacks his teeth off the linoleum. Then vomits stinking alcohol everywhere.

Vincent can see it ain’t gonna happen that way, and locks eyes with Lester. Tells him mentally to pass on an apology for what he’s about to do. Which is, he grabs the arrow by just under the fletchings and yanks the damn thing out before Bo can lose his shit over splinters and weakness and all that.

Well, he loses his shit anyhow, screamin’ bloody murder that he’s gonna kill Vincent for that. Only for a moment before he blacks the hell out from the pain. Prob’ly won’t even remember callin’ Vince a freak.

The hunt goes on without ‘im, without what would’ve been -though Lester never likes admitting when his big brother is right- a weak point for the shifty ass kids to stick their fingers into. End up gettin’ a pretty good knock on ‘em too.

Just like before the girly made it out almost to the roads, but Lester’s a better shot than Bo. Don’t got those phantom shakes and all. Though Vinny would hafta to pick all that bullet scrap out if they was to use her as a figure.

The next time Bo’s conscious, he’s demanding to see what Vincent gonna do with the statues. And it’s a damn good thing they didn’t set out on digging up the shrapnel, ‘cause Bo’s pissed about the arrows, and the shop windows, and the church goers, and the house. It’s all messed up, that safety cushion gone and deflated in one night.

Can’t make art outta enemies. This particukar chase weren’t fun or even close to it. No bright side to it.

Bo wants them destroyed. All of ‘em at first, but Vincent won’t ‘llow that. Threatens to hop in the yellow truck again and take off just like last time knowing damn well it pissed Bo off and was the reason he took two still bleeding blows.

They gets rid of the twins, the girl and the boy ‘ gave ‘em the most trouble. Let Bo decide what he wants done with ‘em.

Could shred ‘em up, sink ‘em to the bottom of the road kill pit, though Lester’s hesitant to do so knowin’ the same group was already thinkin’ he hid bodies in it ‘stead of jus’ Trudy’s old model mannequins. There’s always the marshland they’d rot away in nicely, unnoticed.

He wants ‘em gone though. Not buried and rotting, not waxed over into someone new, gone.

Burn the bodies. Peel the flesh. Boil the bones. Smash ‘em into dust. Mix it in with Vincent’s pigments. Their crystallized, powdered remains make for some perfect shiny makeup on the blonde’s eyelids, and extra sparkle in her wax-cast jewelry.

Felt fitting, to adorn another member of the group in those two’s particular sins. It was them two that got the rest killed so brutally after all.

Speaking of sin.

Bo slept in the church for a few nights, sprawled painfully over a dusty pew, nothing but a jacket as cushion against the solid wood. Ambrose was different now. The order had been broken and he needed to hide from the wrath that would bring.

Mama’s empty husk of a corpse wouldn’t help him. He just hoped the proximity to the altar would get some divine figure’s eyes on him, even if not her. At least send down a quick recovery so he can fucking fix the mess those kids left behind.

The pain, he can swallow, but some part of his system got fucked over right into overdrive and now he’s got no control of his shakes. His legs are as bowed as they’ve ever been, limpin’ and draggin’ himself all this way to the church was humiliating enough. No way he’s installing fresh window panes and rearranging statues to his heart’s content like this.

The dog comes and gets Bo first in the morning. Sunlight pourin’ in through the stained windows, Bo feels like he’s burnin’ up in hellfire instead of kissed by heavenly rays. Or the sticky tongue of a staffordshire terrier. Pitbull mix. Whatever the fuck the mutt is.

Jonesy is always a sign Vincent is close, ‘nd Bo cannot, will not let either of his brotherd see he’s all but given up. Their ignorant little asses are s’pose to be none the wiser he even left the house last night.

The ramblings of a man happens to be clueless that they both watched his sorry ass limp on down there, fallin’ to his knees once and skid down the hill. Anyone alive in Ambrose could’ve heard him cry out when he jammed his busted up shoulder tryin’ to catch himself and struggled for a few minutes to throw weight into his legs and stand. His gait was fucked but so were his patterns, zig-zagging from one side of the road to the next and never knowin’ it.

Really he’d blacked out in the first empty pew, taking no time to get comfortable. It wasn’t about comfort, it was necessity. A shield around his already wounded heart. His brother’s checked on him every few hours.

Bo’s blood stains the church now, far beyond a dried raisin of a corpse in the center of the holy building. Trudy’s eternal wake seems more and more pointless. Her soul can’t be saved for the life she inflicted on her trio of tragic babes. But her son can. Even the devil on earth can be shown God’s graces if he could just fucking stand up and-

He’s humbled by Jonesy. She was his chance to get his ass up and find whichever one of his asshole brothers sicked the bitch on him. The way she curls up next to his boot, singular, that he managed to get off but not back on is her final brag. ‘You lost. Now my caretakers ‘re yours too.’

As expected, right on cue, Vincent creeps in the church then, forever stomping in too heavy boots, settling into the pew in front of Bo. Silent. Back turn so signs won’t work.

“Fuck you.” Is the first thing out of his mouth. Bo repeats it ‘til he vomits a pathetic tiny cough of spit and stomach acid onto the ruined floors.

Vincent doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t react to being screamed at. He’s not the one with open wounds. Never fucking has been.

“I’m talking to you, freak!”

That word again. Bo doesn’t know why he keeps saying it. Got him choked up last night, rambling about his promises. Because that should be more important. Vincent’s face don’t mean shit when it comes to Ambrose. Hell, he’d probably be capable if the surgery took his arms too. That talent is unstoppable.

Like the silence.

“Don’t make me say it, Vincent. Fucking.. I ain’t here for your damn power trip, alright? You ain’t savin’ shit.”

Nary a fuckin’ glance. From behind, all inky hair and broad shoulders, it’s hard to pick out Vincent’s feelings. That frustrates Bo. Just like with victims, his brothers got a script too. He’s supposed to be in the know, in charge. Vincent can’t keep secrets from him. Secrets get brothers shot inches away from vital organs and arteries.

“Vincent. Vinny. Help your brother out..”

It reminds him of being younger. The highchair. Pleading with Vincent to cut the tape and let him go because Mama and the Doc never listened. His one little eye would shed enough tears Bo could see ‘em across the room. Stuck in place, while Vincent could come and go as he pleased, but still chose distance. And he never did free Bo from the restraints.

“C’mon, now. Gotta get this fuckin’ shit show on the road. Need a hand, Vinny..”

Begging for help out of the pew, it takes ‘em both back there. Bo hopes Trudy is the one stuck now, held down by ugly demons in that coffin of hers, watching her boys get along enough.

Well, Vincent listens anyhow when he’s talked to softly like that. Gets right up and takes Bo by his palms, never his wrists, and heaves him up. Even doesn’t make a comment when Bo’s ankle twists under itself for some godforsaken cranial reason and he stumbles straight into his brother’s shoulder.

Face first in a grimy sweater, he sort of understands what it’s like to be in Vinny’s place. At least in the conjoinment. Bo hates the pictures, of their little bodies all twisted up and stuck. The weight of Vincent is suffocating like that, not comforting like the feeling of warm cashmere. Makes him want to crawl right out of his skin.

Bo scratches at the bands of scar tissue on his arms, never a day in his life since they formed without drawing blood from a raised line of the itchiest goddamn feeling. Only way to describe it is like mosquitos stakin’ their claim on every last blood cell in the area. Poison in his blood, from his highchair days on.

Gotta push away from bein’ stuck in Vincent’s careful proximity. Can’t get comfortable, vulnerable, like a silent, squirming little bastard child.

Bo can’t do this. This switching places thing. If he’s gonna be the weaker twin, Vincent better fuckin’ do his part. One way or another. Provoking him is the easy part.

“Heard you kept the pretty blonde. Took some video to remember her, huh. You got the hots for some wax bitch, Vin?”

Nothing. He physically pushes Vincent, uncoordinated enough to miss his chest and thump into his shoulder instead.

“Look I don’t got much interest in your creepy fuckin’ Quasimodo dungeon, but I gotta know. D’you fuck her? Get up reeeeal close in that wax pussy?”

Bo swallows down more acrid bile. Forces a tight, painful laugh.

“Of course she’s special. Tiny. Blonde. Just your type yeah? Just like your whore mommy-“

There we go. Vincent shoves him back, both of them knowing damn well that’s enough to take Bo down right now. And it does alright. Knocks some ribs pretty good against the back of the pew on his way down, forcing out a painful puff of air.

While he’s down, Vincent takes a second swing with his boot this time, pinning Bo on down to the floor. Pretty sure he cracked his head when he got forced down. Or maybe just put too much strain on the arrow wounds, ‘cause damn is he seein’ little stars and Angels dancin’ in his narrow vision.

If he wanted to win, Vince would press down with that boot and put his twin out of both of their misery, crackin’ ribs into bits and stabbin’ his heart. That’s not his goal though, never had been. It’s to knock some damn sense into Bo that he’s injured and needs to forget about his spastic bullshit.

Pisses him off. Bo fights back by jabbing his fingers in the back of Vincent’s knee, bringing him down to kneeling on pure instinct. Now Bo can reach the straps of his apron, pull himself back up to Vincent’s level in this fight for his spot.

“You think you get to boss me ‘round jus’ ‘cause I’m fucked up.. Well you’re fuckin’ mistaken, boy! I am in charge ‘round here. Not you. Not Lester.”

Vincent just stares. Tears apart Bo’s attitude with just that familiar glare. Fuck him.

“Look at you, fightin’ your sick brother. Think ‘at makes you better’n me?” Bo feels like he’s suffocating, even without the pressure holding him down. He licks across his lips and ignores the taste, “Guess you oughta put a fuckin’ cap in me. ‘Member? I killed the bitch when she got too fucked up. Two for her and one for the Doc.”

Vincent’s eye contact wavers, drifting over towards the plush coffin, like he’s considering it. So Bo doesn’t shut up, doesn’t even know if he can, “Leaves three more in the chamber. Could take us all out. One for baby Les. One for you. One for me. I’d do it if you left me for last. Don’t got nothin’ without-“

His intense staring finally processes in his brain, noticing the off details about Vincent’s face. The mask, the good one, was ruined in the hunt. There was a smaller one that would make do but wasn’t comfortable. Bo examines it, eyes flitting around, confusion in his bunched brows.

“The fuck happened to your face?”

‘You did.’ Vincent thinks, but he doesn’t tell him that. Instead he shrugs, hopes he won’t press the issue. Redirecting ain’t as easy when Bo’s still askin’ more questions.

And Bo is furious now, “We could fuckin’ quit it, you know. Got no right touchin’ your fuckin’ face. Fuck ‘em, Vinny. Can’t believe they’d fuckin’ lay a hand on you, I’ll kill them all!”

He must know they’re already dead in truth, because he goes silent for a while. When he comes back, he’s talking about their other conversation. The one with the pistol that killed Mama and the Doc in their beds, years and years apart.

Dangerously close to being honest, Bo hisses and acts like he’s adjusting his aching shoulder, but really, the pain is nothing compared to what’s going on in his head.

“Can’t do it on my own. One of us dies, we all die. You fuckin’ promise me that?”

Bo seems to think he’s ill. His eyes blur over and it’s not tears, just a pounding in his head. He’s dehydrated from vomiting so much, delirious from the blood loss, but he thinks he knows better. The tumor. Come for him this time. That’s what he convinces himself.

“You’d do it, Vinny, wouldn’t ya, if I couldn’t?” His nose is running from the humidity, the pain, his body forcing a fever to fight for himself. In his mind’s eye, it’s blood pouring from his nose. Just like Daddy after his skull popped.

Fuck. He’s already dead.

“Vincent. Vincent you can’t let go of me!” He clutches that sweater like his life fucking depends on it, glancing at the ground and back up at his brother, over and over, like it might fall away any second.

His brother tilts his head in confusion, but Vincent obliges his ramblings, holding onto Bo around one arm, the other hand balled in his trashed uniform shirt.

“You let go of me ‘n I’m a goner, y’hear? Don’t you fuckin’ let me go. Hell ain’t ready for me. I’m not- My soul got business here and you ain’t fucking gonna turn me into wax, goddamn it. I ain’t the monstrosity here. Fuckin’.. You aren’t either Vincent. That bitch- That fuckin’ demon in Mama’s coffin, don’t let it take me-“

His rambling goes on like that ‘til he passes out again. Under Vincent’s ill-fitting mask, his best one ruined in the hunt, tears are running down the left side of his face. Finding meaning in this fit, knowing full well Bo won’t remember it tomorrow, is idiotic. But he does it anyhow. Lets himself take it to heart that he’s necessary, and loved, and nothing at all like Miss mama Trudy.

He’s right though, Bo doesn’t remember a thing. Vincent carried him home and Bo woke up on the couch, had a plate of eggs like nothin’ happened. Across from him, he nodded to Lester, “You spot a single soul out there, you let us know ‘n we’ll be by. Not too much work today.”

Lester scowls and nods his head, dumbstruck by how much he forgot this time, “Yeh, alright. Got nothin’ better t’ do myself.”

There ain’t gonna be a hunt for a long while, and just as likely he ain’t gonna leave Ambrose. Too many repairs to leave to Bo in this state, all fucked in the head by his disorder. It’s like that sometimes in cycles, but they ain’t seen it get this bad before.

Routine is routine. Bo’s disorder robs him of his sense, his brain defects makin’ him weak. His brother’s fix everythin’ up ‘til his brain gets all better, and he gets bored of doin’ the small stuff. Thinks Ambrose is always the same, nothin’ ever happenin’ to disrupt his perfect plan.

Make Mama proud. Make Bo calm. Same goddamn difference.

Lester looks at Vincent across the table, and he nods, the signal to keep lying to Bo. “Saw a group campin’ in the woods. Two girls, ‘bout four boys. Teenagers, I could get ‘em back and Vinny can take ‘em.”

They’re already dead. The keepers of the group already a part of Ambrose. Dead men walking.

“You sit tight, rest that arm up. Show you the new figures in the mornin’.”

It’s gettin’ too easy to lie through his teeth, but harder to keep Bo inside.

Neither knows what the stiff nod from Bo means, ‘til he says, “Have your fun. Jus’ be fuckin’ careful. You fuck up my town, I’ll fuck up somethin’ of yours.”

‘Uh-huh, we know, asshole.’ Lester thinks, tension in his jaw pushing it forward. There’s all kinds of words just dancin’ on his tongue, but he swallows them back, if only ‘cause Vince puts his hand on his shoulder.

Instead, he manages to choke out a simple, “Yessir.”

[alexissara]

My Favorite Movies/TV/Anime of 2023

Going into 2023 I've done a lot more taking in art then in previous years and this section is all about the audio/visual/auditory art I've taken in this year and enjoyed. In fact it's a content and clickable top 10 list! Wow so engaging, much content, please enjoy. This is gonna be inclusive of movies, cartoons, anime, TV shows, etc because I don't engage any one of these mediums alone enough to make a nice little list, at least not this year.

These are roughly in an order by how much I enjoyed them but these are different pieces of art that hit you in different places for different reasons and no one piece of art here is like "Better" than the other. Ask me at a different hour let alone day and this list could be all scrambled.

Adolescence Of Utena

So I finally watched some Utena, I mean I watched a little but of Utena before, just a few episodes with some friends but I watched the full ass movie now so that counts for something. The anime is really artful and it's a very compelling queer coming of age story with all the messy trauma and feelings attached. It's a weird movie, a girl turns into a car, and that's amazing, 12/10, another girl can also turn into a car, we're really just living the dream here. Finally true lesbian representation is when a girl can turn into a car and I am here for it. It's a really great piece of art and I am glad to have finally got to take it in and enjoy it.

Glass Onion

So this is probably the biggest surprise on the list for folks who follow me but one of my girlfriends really loves mysteries and so a Glass Onion I did watch with her. It's super funny and fun, it's just good. The cast has good chemistry, the jokes land, the mystery has fun twists, and it's just a good experience overall.

One Piece Film Red

I am not a One Piece fan, I do not care for One Piece, It's like fine Shonen. However, this movie fucking slapped, it was a good fucking time. Uta is One Pieces best character and she should show up and take over the final arc of the manga because she is so good. The music was fucking killer with Ado slaying every single fucking song and it really just hit. Every song is so good on it's own and in it's context. It's what you want from a truly killer musical experience and every song being from "the villain" is just extra fun. The power of friendship and bounds is really great here, it's just good and well animated even if the women all have the same exact body.

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

I finally watched this movie after all the hype had died down and well, it was worth the hype, it isn't my favorite movie of all time but it's a good movie. It's funny, amazingly acted, well shot, silly and just in general a good time. It touches on a lot of good themes of family, trauma, homophobia, expectations, and parental relationships. I think the queerness coulda been better in the movie and have complaints on how that is displayed here but I mean it was at least a little bit queer and that's more than most movies. As a former actor who really loves the craft I envy everyone involved too for getting to be in such a fun film, I can only imagine what a blast it was to see the final product of what I am sure was a ton of hard work to make something so fun.

Gundam The Witch From Mercury - Season 2 

Gundam ended on more of a whimper than a bang to me. Which is both not uncommon for a Gundam series to have a shitty ending but also not shocking given this series was given it had a much shorter run time. Regardless of me thinking this half of the anime is much weaker than the first half it still undeniably striking in it's animation, stunning visually, engaging to watch with a cast of very endearing characters to watch in the dramatic stakes of it all. The very end was not terrible but the time we spent to get to the final epilogue moments were questionable. Regardless, this show did not kill off Prospera, Chuchu, Secelia or Rouhi and they all were in a lot of these episodes so like an 8/10 cuz their all fucking brilliant and I really like Sulletta a ton too, I am just probably Mio's weakest solider among lesbians preferring my sweet little nervous lesbian settle down with a nice earthian girl or make use of her second hand to be polyamarous.

Kakegurui Twin

I never have and likely never will watch Kakegurui's main series but the twins series female focused cast and yuri energy captured my attention and so I turned it on. Wow, what a fucking ride. This over the top gambling game is Jojo's bizarre adventure, is sports anime, is card game anime, it's the raw spirit of these things radiating in the horny submissive lesbian factory and served back in animated form. The fucking faces these women get to make as they smugly battle in bounts of gambling is just so delicious and the tension they manage to put into each of these games of chance as the fucked up students try and cheat each other and win is just brilliant.

Harley Quinn 

HarIvy is a ship of all time for me, it's hard to have the concept of a show be "HarIvy comedy" and me not to at least kinda enjoy it and I enjoyed it a lot this new season. At the start of the season I wasn't click with it, it felt weird and forced for Harly and Ivy to be placed in these really binary hero and villain roles but in the end that's what it was really about. Neither of them are traditional heroes or villains and the show actually recognized that and let them trying to fit into the strict mold of the universe as an active issue for themself, their sense of self, their relationship, the world and more. From time to time they felt fairly out of character but I am just happy to see this arcs over all themes and the work they put into that.

I’m In Love With The Villainess 

While I would have rather had a tighter pace that went through the first two books of the series rather than one and some tiny jumps into the second book I'm In Love With The Villainess still managed to be one of my favorite things to watch this year with me viewing it multiple times. Rae's Isekai fantasy of being bullied by a hot rich woman and the eventual need to confront her own internalized homophobia and self pity as blocking her path to happiness are fun to see. Rae is really good in the anime adaptation and in it more than any other adaption it feels like everyone is friends and cares about each other which fits the light hearted comedy tone better than the light novels Rae will kill anyone for Clair, she has no friends mindset.

Scott Pilgrim: Takes Off

This was the biggest surprise of the year. I had grown out of Scott Pilgrim, while I was a fan of the comics before the movie was even a thing, I watched the movie before it even released, I even at some point was collecting the colored editions, I eventually soured on the series and sold everything I had of it. I wasn't excited about the anime and felt more like "let it go" then "OMG thing from when I was young" but hearing the good things I heard about it and about the Scott twist along with seeing the great animation in the OP I decided, fuck it why not give it a shot. So I did and wow, it's really good. It's a great take down, commentary, adaption, whatever it is of the original work. It is Scott Pilgrim having grown up alongside me, funnier than ever and a lot better about everything. I really loved all the changes and it still felt very true to the heart of Scott Pilgrim which is messy adults trying to fix their fucked up selves and relationships.

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady

This certainly sits among my favorite anime of all time and very highly if not number one. MagiRevo mastered a light novel adaptations tempo perfecting how to make one season of what would be a nothing slow burn with no pay off at the novel and mangas pace into an exciting action packed yuri with more gay kisses in it than the rest of the years anime put together. It's funny, charming, fun but it also captures some really hard emotions too, I'll never forget the scene with Anis being pressured by old men to have children and stuff and the utter disgust she has at being treated like a piece of meat as she attempts to fill her role to the kingdom. It is devastating and heart wrenching and it just makes all the joy feel so strong.

If you want to help me enjoy more art then consider checking out my Patreon or Ko-fi and giving me a little bit of cash so I can do more of this kind of writing but also like make lots of my own art, art is hard to make and costs money and like maintain my chronically ill and trans body also takes money so anything helps, thank you. If you want more details on any of these I do have reviews for many of the pieces of art above but you can also let me know you want more and maybe I'll write more.

[kierancampire]

Percy Jackson and The Olympians spoiler for the show/book:

Episode 1:

So I really liked how they began it how the book opened, that was a really nice touch!

I also really liked how we saw Percy growing up and seeing things, focusing in the mechanical rhino was a nice set up for the second book. I also enjoyed how you saw the subtle training, like from Grover with the cards.

Speaking of Grover though, now, I won't focus too heavily on differences from the book and show, as I know there needs to be differences, but a huge part of Grover is his legs/walking difficulties, so Grover walking fine in shorts? I disliked that.

Another thing I disliked was Mrs. Dodds, she didn't take Percy somewhere private, Chiron just gave Percy Riptide, and Percy didn't have this awakening battle with her, it was just played off as an accident.

Two other character changes I disliked were Gabe and Sally. Gabe is no where near as bad, he is kinda timid, Percy isn't shown to be scared of him, he is way too accommodating, and kinda the main point of his character that is crucial to him, his smell, isn't noted at all. Then yes, Sally. She was just off the whole time. She shows herself being vulnerable in front of Percy, something she never does, she stands up to Gabe and back chats him, she gets angry, also she is way too open and transparent when her whole point is trying to keep everything secret to protect Percy, her character was just off.

30 minutes was way too short. They have to cram so much exposition and such into the episode, at one point they explain like 6 things back to back! I thought it coulda been paced out. Which to combine two points, Sally tells Percy everything, which again, she doesn't want to do, but also this means Percy sorta discovers nothing in Camp Half-Blood which ruins why that place was so incredible, I also think it woulda helped the first episode being less expo heavy having Percy discover everything at the camp.

Last thing I wanna say is Sally really wasn't that sad about losing Percy. Like she eventually gets choked up, but in the book, it clearly explains why Sally kept Percy, why she kept everything secret, and why she doesn't want him going to Camp Half-Blood. But until the final moment she shows almost no sadness about losing Percy, and there's just nothing to show her keeping everything a secret or wanting to be selfish in keeping Percy.

Episode 2:

So I really liked the detail of the beaded necklaces! That was a nice touch, the show was full of small details like that, like Luke's scar and such!

Another thing I like is the series includes Clarisse! It is so nice seeing her character unlike in the movie!

I really did not like Luke telling Percy about Thalia/Annabeth. In the book this is a huge thing and a huge mystery, also, nobody wants to talk about it as it hurts too much, but in the show Luke just says it all. I did notice this generally, all these quietly painful moments don't exist, the show just screams everything and takes away all the characters pains.

I love that they included Annabeth's hat! Again, vital thing that is nice to see included this time!

So, eh, I wanna word this carefully. I do not care at all that they changed the characters, as long as they have the personality and the relationship, who cares. However, one thing I found lacking was the lack of the Gods in the kids. In the book, it's sort of a big thing that they all share similar traits, so not only does this help you/Percy identify characters, but it shows who is related and how to separate characters. But in the show, they've just done nothing to the characters, so you have no idea who is who or what God they belong to, I kinda wish Annabeth's eyes were grey, or that Hermes' kids have upturned eye brows, or that Percy's eyes were green. They are meant to have a single same parent, biology dictates genes, I wish there was more shown to connect them to their parents and each other.

I really like the detail of Clarisse's electric spear, and the fact she made the comment about losing dessert privelages!

Another change I disliked is Percy discovering his power. Again, throughout the book there are SSSSOOOO many things hinting towards Poseidon, and one of those things is Percy being drawn to the water, being drawn to his dad. So the fact he has no intention of going near the water, noticing he is stronger in the water, and Annabeth just pushes him in it? Poseidon proudly claims him after he uses the water to show his power! It just was lacking.

Then the final thing I quite disliked, Grover telling Percy about his mum. Again, a huge secret pain is that Percy keeps it hidden the reason he accepts the quest is to save his mum, as he thinks he can get her from the Underworld. So needing to be told he can get her, that she isn't dead, and Grover tells him this? Again, they took a quiet pain and just screamed it.

There were other things like Percy having Riptide, Mr. D sorta solely being played for laughs and not showing his power/danger. Like, there were other changes that bothered me but again, I accept the show can't be entirely faithful, but the ones I mentioned just bothered me a lot more. I think the art style of the credits is super cool, I love the characters are more age appropriate, I know Rick likes this a lot more and is more involved, and there were positives. I just, yeah, wished pacing and dumbing down were different. The minotaur looked cool

[audi0med1c]

heyy, firstly, I want to ask, how have you been? I don't really know how it is to go through so much, I'm sure that time will heal everything <3 Secondly, I'm curious abt the state of the next chapter, I can't wait to read it! I hope you feel better soon ❤️‍🩹

Thanks, yea i'm mostly just numb most days, not really sleeping all that much. I've done zero writing in probably almost 3 weeks now? In the past even when I wasn't writing I'd be watching my visuals, listening to my curated playlists for either the 'current chapter' or one of my specific character's playlists...formulating little dialogue exchanges....or finding pictures that would spark an idea for a text convo or a tweet or I'd bounce ideas of any little scenes off my creative partner....

But I haven't done any of that in weeks, nothing to even try to sink into anyone's mindset since my own mind is trying to numb itself to minimize my real emotions that I can no longer just compartmentalize while writing this story.

Here, you may have the current chapter as it stands now, there's only about 1,100 words written trying to do a brief re-cap of that very first event Murphy got Clarke to tag along to. Our first steps into Clarke's POV will START by rewinding to the beginning of summer to just get inside her head about how the whole secret hookup arrangement felt to her.

(I haven't even really gotten in her head/emotions yet in this first scene because that was where I started realizing how painful and impossible it was and just kept getting blocked. This leaves off just as Clarke is about to pull her stunt in the hallway, and as we know from Lexa's POV how this night goes with the whole 'mirror night' Clarke was quite dominant and possessive with Lexa, setting up how summer starts off much more about that power-dynamic and sense of control/posession for Clarke....)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*PREVIEW* CH. 35- "Cruel Summer (If I Bleed)

(MOSTLY* Clarke's POV)

____________________________

(May 1st - After Clarke went home the morning after Anya's)

(Two weeks later: Mid May)

Clarke smelled something fishy the moment Murphy hit her up to ask her to accompany him to a high-profile event at The Arts House.

She had an inkling, but just had no way of proving Lexa was somehow involved until they arrived, and their eyes met across the venue for the first time.

"How much she pay you to bring me here tonight?" Clarke asked out the corner of her mouth, as the pair reached for some champagne off one of the circling trays.

"Ugh!" Murphy feigned offense, taking a sip, "I resent the accusation that I can be bought."

"So she didn't pay you....?" The blonde repeated, watching Lexa casually carry on with several people across the way, looking stunning in a very short black dress, her hair pulled neatly back into a sleek, low bun.

There was SO much skin on display, the blonde's eyes could not stop roaming up and down that hourglass figure but mostly over those strikingly long legs, and Clarke coulda sworn the girl was standing angled so that both her arm and back tattoos were facing the pair looking on.

"I told you, this is a perk of my new job!" Murphy nodded at some random guy passing by like he knew them,

"Your new job that you can't tell me about?"

"I did tell you."

Clarke uses her fingers for air quotes, "In the entertainment industry" is not exactly a job title.

"It's doing what I was doing before....just, for different people."

"You were a PA." Clarke says flatly.

"And now I personally assist RICHER people!" Murphy says smoothly, "How hard is that to understand?"

He really was made for this though. Out of the whole friend group, he could definitely be a professional schmoozer. However she saw right through whatever this whole arrangement clearly was that Lexa must've concocted, but it was fun seeing how far he would push his blatant lie.

Except it wasn't like she had any idea what she was actually supposed to do here, since she sure as hell wasn't about to walk straight up to Lexa in front of everyone. So she continued teasing Murphy.

"And those richer people needed you to come to this event tonight because...."

"To network on their behalf!"

"And what exactly are you networking for them?" She grinned and squinted her eyes.

Shifting his weight, Murphy continued looking around the room while sipping from his glass. 

"My new employer expects a certain level of privacy and decorum with regards to conducting business on their behalf." He said in his best professional tone and smooths his hands over the front of his suit, which looked brand new and like it cost several thousand dollars. More than Murphy has probably spent on dress clothes his entire life combined.

"Now if you don't mind...I need to go network...uhhh over there." He gestured in the direction of where one of the waiters holding a tray of caviar and scallops was standing.

"Oh yes" Clarke chuckled, "Looks like some very important business to be discussed over there."

Once she was left standing alone, she meandered on the outskirts of the crowd, keeping a watchful eye on a particular actress, trying to figure out exactly what her game was here.

When she finally saw Lexa disappear into a dark, secluded exhibit room, she decided that was her chance to move in. The room was extremely dark, and luckily there was no one else currently in there so Clarke felt brave enough to walk directly up to the brunette in the far back of the room.

"You think you're slick, huh?"  She said in a low voice once shoulder to shoulder with her ex.  Just the close proximity already had her whole body vibrating in anticipation.

"Don't know what you mean?" Lexa replied nonchalant. Just hearing the purr of her lower register had Clarke's skin tingling.

They both stayed looking ahead at the art installation in front overhead of them, some sort of space display.

"You Murphy's new employer?"

"Of course not."

Lexa was playing it cool, and goddammit was she smooth as ever with her line about inviting Clarke to such an event so that she herself could have something beautiful to look at.

The blonde wanted to hate how cheesy it came out except it stirred up enough flutters in her stomach she thought her feet might be lifted off the ground.

She wanted to roll her eyes and not give her ex the satisfaction of knowing how well it worked but not nearly as bad as she wanted to push the girl up against the nearest wall and kiss her breathless.

Most of the remaining night Clarke spent eyeing Lexa across the room, watching the actress keep mostly to herself along the outskirts of the crowd, while the blonde politely accepted blatant advances hidden behind corporate pleasantries from a handful of middle-aged men.

So far no one recognized or knew who she was, and she sure as shit was not about to offer up her real name if asked - instead giving the man her two middle names instead.

It was increasingly hard to concentrate on anything being said to her, feeling those eyes locked onto her from across the room.

"And what is it you do Ms.....?" A rather handsome Marketing exec asked her. 

"Jane." Clarke answered his attempt to get her name, "Eliza Jane."

The man nodded and she believably explained that she worked in fashion, feigning interest enough to not be rude, before excusing herself to the ladies room. 

She was counting on being followed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

^^So.... there you guys go. I started writing that about 3 weeks ago... and haven't been able to continue since. It feels weird to be so upset with my own character haha but yea me and Clarke just....not on good terms so writing her POV may take a little while.

Now if there's any real-life Costia's around.... uhh... hmu

[cyberdragoninfinity]

I think the other two already got done so if you're still taking asks for the game can I offer Jakob? Asking bc honestly the scene where he nearly chucks the wheel of.fortune like a Frisbee in the WGRP lives rent free in my head and I need to hear what someone else thinks of him. Asshole of all tome

NOBODYS ASKED FOR JAKOB OR PRIMO SURPRISINGLY i would love to talk about Number One Worst Grandpa Though <3

Why I like them/why I don’t: i looove jakob i dont think as much about him as i do with aporia's other pieces but i love that he is just this completely miserable ASSHOLE of an old man. he hates his coworkers who are also him and also one of them is a child. He's one of the most terrifying yugioh characters to me, he's HUGE and completely willing to kill anyone in the way of completing the circuit INCLUDING LESTER AND PRIMO?!?!? He's so driven by agony and anger and has all the smug I Know Better attitude of all of your worst old conservative male relatives combined. AND THEN THEY MADE HIM KIND OF SAD AND LONELY IN TAG FORCE 6. ALRIGHT!!!! <-- *WILL GET IN THERE AND THINK THAT HARD ABOUT IT*

What I like about their appearance: THE FACT HE'S BUILT LIKE A BRICK SHITHOUSE + THE ONE SINGULAR GIANT EYEBROW IS JUST. PEAK INSANE YGO CHARACTER DESIGN. I LOVE IT.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?: I do slightly prefer Jakob if only because "Jakob with a K" is just some peak yugioh dub name bullshit maneuver lmao. Jose is also a really funny name for him I do like it.

OTP: I DONT REALLY HAVE ONE FOR HIM. if i think about his devotion to 'God' vs. aporia's bond with z-one i Will start coughing up blood though.

NOTP: jakob/primo i guess?? JAKOB/LESTER ALSO???? DIE IN THAT CASE???!?!?

OT3: not romantic but i love thinking about the Emperors as the world's most dogshit family that is also all one person. Grandpa and his two idiot grandkids he cant fucking stand.

Favourite card they use: Meklord Emperor Granel <3 Terrifying robot war machine with bizarre sea animal motifs but is also an Earth Machine for some reason <33 Slaughter Cannon <333

Favourite moment they were in: like. it's gotta be him RUNNING down the WRGP race track, right. it made me shriek laugh the first time i saw it and it gets me every time. they should have let him run the whole course flintstones style. i think he coulda done it

Least favourite moment: it is bonkers when he throws sherry's bike just Into the Ocean one hand like it's nothing but then theres that weird bit where he grabs her and shes kind of. Breasting Boobily iykwim. and it's just very #yugiohwomanmoment. get away from her old man. etc etc etc

Something I associate with them: all of his tag force story route events feel exactly like this tweet