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bamsywrites · 25 days ago

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And Comes Dawn pt ii

pairing: halbrand/sauron x reader; there will be two love triangles in the future

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: In all beings, there exists darkness. when the deciver finds one who seems to defy this, he becomes obsessed with finding it within her. and if he can't find it, he will ruin her himself.

Tag: dark romance, slow burn, sauron is Stressed™️ , sauron is so horny he contemplates murder, minor sex mention, idk what else to tag or warn

Notes: 24 hours later I already have part 2 done. I was going to have up until galadriel joins the raft for part 2 but I have a lot of ideas so I'm splitting them up. I am also stretching the time during season 1, like instead of being a couple months it's gonna be about a year because it's my fic and I can do that. Saurons pov is all over the place bc he is all over the place and yeah. Feed back always welcome and lemme know if you wanna be tagged. Oh and everything was still done on my phone so sorry if it's weird.

Series Masterlist

It was all a blur for you. You were woken from sleep by the creature attacking the ship and in the flurry of rushing water, screams, and the sound of breaking wood. You had found a pair of arms around your waist. You held your breath and clamped your eyes shut, if you were to die you didn't want your last memory on this Earth to be of the ship's wreckage and the corpses of your traveling companions floating under the water. These fears disappeared as you broke to the surface of the sea with the arms around your waist still holding you securely. You gasped and filled your lungs with air, wet hair obstructing your view, but you could see the familiar face of your savior.

“Halbrand?” You coughed.

He hummed a response, and you could feel the sound reverberate in his chest. It was comforting, the feeling of his strong arms and solid chest. Despite the cold of the waters, his body was abnormally warm, and you found yourself pressing into him for more of that heat.

“There's a raft not far. I think there's another survivor or two aboard it.” He spoke, securing one arm tightly around your body as he used his other to move through the water.

You squinted and could see what you suspected to be the raft he spoke of, but it was rather far for him to swim carrying you “I can swim. I do not wish you to have to carry me all that way through the water.”

“No,” he responded firmly. “There is some terrible beast who just destroyed our ship. I will not allow you to go out on your own in the water.”

“But then we could both die if it finds us.”

Halbrand looked down at you, looking into your eyes as he spoke. “In that case, my conscience will be clear because I will be dead. I can already see the arguments forming on your tongue, and the answer is still no.”

He gave you a pointed look at which you nodded, “Thank you. Now hold on, sweet one.”

You wrapped your arms around his waist, closing your eyes. This has been quite the journey for you. You missed home, but you longed for a new start, a new place where your family's reputation didn't loom over you, and you weren't regarded with suspicion at every turn. You couldn't allow yourself to think this was it, that you'd die like this at the sea. You'd been through too much.

You didn't know if it had been 15 minutes or 3 hours when you heard a voice call out your name from the raft, the woman who'd slept across from you. You had only introduced yourselves and not talked much at all, but it was still a familiar voice.

“Here, help her up,” Halbrand called to one of the men as he hoisted you as best he could on to the raft. “There you go, sweet one.”

You pulled yourself up on the raft, and almost instantly, you found yourself falling asleep on the wood. Exhaustion took you after the adrenaline drop of finally being out of the water. You were swept into sleeps embrace as the sun began to peak over the horizon.

You awoke, rubbing the sleep out from your eyes and looking around you. The horrors of that night replayed in your mind, but then you remembered Halbrand. You sat up and noticed that the raft was considerably larger, different pieces of driftwood tied together, and makeshift sails set up. There were also more survivors than last night, but it was a considerably small amount. Your eyes roamed the passengers, but you couldn't find the one you sought.

“Your awareness of your surroundings is incredibly lacking.”

You startled at the sound of his deep voice, causing him to chuckle. He had been lying down and sat up as you turned to look at him. “Glad you woke, sweet one. If you'd slept much longer, I'm sure they'd try to add you to our rations.”

“There's rations?” You asked eagerly, unable to ignore the emptiness in your belly.

Halbrand nodded, “There is. He”- he motioned to an older man on the other side of the raft - “didn't want to give you any because you were sleeping, but I was able to do some convincing.” He handed you a chunk of bread and a small portion of dried meat.

You gave him your thanks, and as you grabbed it, you noticed his knuckles were bloodied. A quick glance at the old man, who you now noticed was sporting a bruise and a few cuts under his eye, gave you the answers you needed.

“Tell me you didn't strike an old man for this?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes and pushing the bread and meat further into your chest. “If I tell you he fell upon my fist, will you eat it? How I came about this matters not. What matters is you will not last if you do not eat.”

You sighed, feeling guilty but taking a bit nonetheless. The feeling of the bread and dried meat hitting your barren stomach was enough to make you moan softly. Halbrand chuckled, watching you and leaning against one of the makeshift masts.

“Thank you. For the food and for saving me. I don't know how to express my gratitude for all you've done for me,” you swallowed and wet your lips. “Though I must admit I'm greatly confused as to why.”

You looked over at him, brow furrowed as you awaited an answer.

“Because you are fair of face. I can not imagine the despair I'd fall into if I was stuck on a raft with nothing but them to look at,” he motioned to other inhabitants, “it would be quite bleak indeed.”

You couldn't help the blush that formed on the bridge of your nose and traveled across your cheeks. Despite this, you still shook your head. “There is no need to be rude or dishonest. I simply ask for the truth.”

“I admit that was rude, but it was anything but dishonest. You are beautiful, and I quite like looking at you,” his eyes noticed your blush, and it caused him to smirk - if only he knew of the butterflies forming in your stomach at his affirmation.

“Though,” he continued, “you are right. That is not the reason I saved you. It's only an added benefit. When I met you on the ship, there had been many that had complained that there was not enough notice. That I would deplete the rations and that they would have to recalculate everything. But you brought me extra soup, and it wasn't a small portion either. You brought it because you knew I had been on my own and assumed I'd been without food. You had no selfish intention. You were simply kind to a stranger because you felt it was the right thing to do. There is not enough of that in the world, and humanity can not bear to lose someone like you who is kind and good for no other purpose than that it is right.”

“Oh,” your voice was small, and your entire face burned bright red at his compliments.

“I would tell you more, but I'm afraid if I do, you may burst into flames.”

The waves rocked the raft gently, the previous night it had lulled you into a nice, deep sleep but there's only so much to do on a raft in the middle of nowhere and you had spent the majority of that time asleep. Your eyes watched the stars, feeling lucky that the sky was full of them and that the moon shone bright. The thought of endless darkness, especially knowing what was out there hunting in the ocean depths, was a terrifying thought. The sound of the others snores mixed with the sounds of the waves.

There was only one other who was still awake. Halbrand was busy tightening the ropes to secure the pieces of the raft together. You had noticed he did not sleep much. You had been on the raft for 3 nights and two days, and most of that time was spent with him. Though there wasn't much conversation, you seemed to be the only one on the raft he wasn't annoyed with. You caught him looking at you at times, which made you think he really did mean what he said on that first day.

“Still looking for hope in the stars, sweet one?” Halbrand teased with a smirk as he walked to where she sat and sat down next to her so close that their legs touched.

“Have you forgotten my name? You seem to only refer to me as ‘sweet one’.” You asked, tearing your eyes from the stars to look at him.

He rolled his eyes, your name rolling from his tongue. “Do you not like my nickname?”

“It is fine. I was just curious, and I wasn't quite sure why.” You looked up at him as you awaited his answer.

“Because you're sweet. Hence, sweet one.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “You're quite the flirt, Halbrand.”

“Only with you, sweet one.” He playfully pushed his shoulder into yours, and he sat there with you, looking up at the stars.

You enjoyed the moment. The heat from his body and the solid feeling of him next to you brought contentment. You wondered if it was meaningless flirtations or if he could mean all of it. You pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind. You were stranded on a raft in the middle of the ocean. Any romantic feelings you may be growing for him were unimportant in the face of that fact.

You looked over at him, and your eyes trailed down to the relic that hung from his neck. You'd noticed it before but had never thought to ask about it. Your fingers gently reached for it so you could get a better look.

“What is this?” You tilted your head, holding it in your palm.

“Have you seen it before?” His voice was soft, but his brown eyes watched your face intently.

You shook your head in answer.

“It's the heraldry of my family. I only asked if you'd seen it because it has been almost an age since we used it. I can't imagine any family in the Southlands has used heraldry in some time.”

You turned it over in your palm, examining it further. “Why do you carry it?”

He wet his lips, gently taking it from your fingers and looking at it himself. “It's a reminder, a grim one, that our fates are never certain and that fortune can change for anyone. We've seen that here,” he motioned around them.

“Is it a grim reminder? I find it quite hopeful. No matter what, nothing is certain, and nothing lasts forever. There may be evil, and there may be terribly dark times, but those times do not last forever. There is also good. Also times of wonder and prosperity.”

He laughed, smiling as he looked at you. “Of course, that is what you would say. Ever the light and so full of hope.”

It was not long after this that you had fallen asleep. He still sat next to you awake as ever. His mind reeling and racing with millions of thoughts, the conflict within him felt as though it would rip right through him. He wanted control and order. It was the only way in which this world could know peace. He also wanted revenge on Adar, on the orcs who attempted to kill him.

But he remembered Morgoth. He remembered his former master and the chase for power that ended in his utter destruction. Even before then, Morgoth had become enslaved to the power he held and the power he craved. That was a fate that Sauron did not wish to share. He did not want to lose control for the sake of power, but he would never be quenched without having power. He could not have both.

Then there was you. He had not expected you, and he was finding himself enthralled with you. He could not understand you or the effect you had on him. A human, of all creatures, making him question all he knew to be true. He had not lusted for the pleasures of the flesh in thousands upon thousands of years and it was never for a human but when your eyes gazed up at him through your lashes or when he saw the smile stretch across your lips and the dimples that followed, it made it impossible not to imagine how those same eyes would look gazing up at him as you kneel at his feet or how those lips would look parted in ecstasy. His thoughts were plagued with the idea of taking you, tasting you, and utterly corrupting you.

It was all incredibly inconvenient.

This wasn't part of the plan and if it was just lust that plagued him, perhaps he could drown you and be done with it but the infatuation with understanding you and your motives and how you became this way stopped his hand. And the damn warmth that radiated from you that reminded him of the home he could never return to. With you curled into his side, he could close his eyes and imagine a time before he was corrupted. It made him wonder if he truly was past all redemption.

When those thoughts dared make themselves known, he'd imagine you looking up at him with tears streaming down your cheeks and his cock shoved down your throat.

His eyes drifted toward the water. It wouldn't be hard. He's so much stronger than you. He could handle any resistance as he pushed you under the waves, and then his mind would be free of those thoughts. But then he looked at you, and a million unanswered questions filled his mind. He knew if he killed you, they would remain unanswered and would plague him forever.

He cursed under his breath and watched as you slept. The choir of a million thoughts did not stop, and he briefly wondered if you would be his undoing.

previous next

#halbrand x reader #halbrand x oc #sauron x oc #sauron x reader #the rings of power fanfiction #the rings of power x reader #trop x reader #trop fanfiction #× reader #///mine

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fxlling-slxwly · 1 month ago

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There’s so much about Heartstopper Season 3 that I LOVE. Obviously Nick and Charlie’s relationship growth is beautiful, and Charlie’s mental health stuff is SO IMPORTANT, and I was SOBBING at Episode 4. HOWEVER. Breakdown of my favourite parts / storylines:

1. Darcy’s exploration of pronouns and gender identity. Seeing them start leaning more masc, cutting their hair, using they/them pronouns, and then coming out to Tara as non-binary?? WONDERFUL. As someone who recently came out as genderqueer (with a fairly similar path as Darcy actually) this made me so emotional and so happy for them and the representation.

2. Isaac. My baby. Everything about him is so wonderful and I just want to wrap him in the biggest hug ever. His coming out scenes (both his one to Charlie and to the Paris Gang) were beautiful. His boundaries in refusing to fill in the gaps for his friends is so admirable, as when you’re outside the ‘mainstream’ queer labels it can become such a tiresome ordeal having to explain your identity to others when they aren’t putting in the work to look it up. I’m SO GLAD he got these moments and he’s such a ray of sunshine. Him being the only one to see that something was wrong with Charlie hurt me deeply but it made me love him even more. Also seeing his cheeky side when it comes to Charlie’s sex life is peak aro/ace romance obsessed behavior.

3. Michael Holden my beloved. Darragh’s portrayal of him is everything - he’s so funny, awkward, and optimistic in every single scene and I just adore him. All of his interactions with Charlie made me fall in love with him even more, and they all just felt so RIGHT. His and Tori’s relationship is wonderful.

4. Tori being the best most beautiful big sister. She has so much love in her but she’s so afraid of letting people in and see her being vulnerable. Her love and anxiety for Charlie is so immense, but she does what she can even when her heart is breaking. I adore her and I’m so looking forward to seeing even more of her in the next season.

5. Nick interacting with Elle, Tara and Imogen on the road trip!!! I love seeing Nick integrate more with that friend group, but allowing him to have those moments of gossip and banter with the girls is beautiful, especially as he’d said previously how he didn’t talk about the deeper stuff with his other friends. Having the girls encourage him to talk - especially Elle causing chaos - was *chefs kiss*.

6. Tao and Nick hugging!!!

7. Charlie, Tao and Isaac’s friendship! I adore seeing them be super huggy and telling each other how much they love each other. Healthy friendships for the win!! No toxic masculinity here!!

8. Tao and Elle’s relationship & his utter adoration of her. The scene where he showed her the video he made of her was so emotionally raw and beautiful and UGH IM OBSESSED

9. Mr Farouk and Mr Ajayi’s soft moments UGH I LOVE THEM. Mr F is one of my fave TV teachers - the way he tells Charlie that he could help so many younger students and you can just tell how much he needed queer rep when was younger!! Ugh I adore these two so much.

#heartstopper #heartstopper season 3 #charlie spring #nick nelson #tao xu #Elle argent #Michael Holden #tori spring #isaac Henderson #darcy olsson #Tara jones #heartstopper spoilers #mr farouk #mr ajayi

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totowlff · 1 month ago

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many fade, but i'm still here

➝ you kept your side of the street clean. they will never know what it means.

➝ word count: 2,2k

➝ warnings: mentions of health issues.

➝ author’s note: you can read the part one here.

The young man sitting in front of the reporters looked uncomfortable. Watching him from a corner of the Mercedes motorhome common area, you could tell he wasn’t at ease in that position. However, he needed to get used to the flashes, the clicks, and especially the attention directed at him.

After all, Andrea Kimi Antonelli was now a Formula 1 driver.

— Kimi, how do you feel being officially a Mercedes driver? — a journalist asked.

— It’s an incredible feeling to be announced as a Mercedes driver alongside George in 2025 — the young man replied in a measured tone — It’s a dream I’ve had since I was little, and even though I’m still learning a lot, I feel ready for this opportunity.

“Of course you do”, you thought to yourself, crossing your arms over your chest. The tests with Kimi had been numerous, with various types of single-seaters, all to make sure of what you had known since the day you first saw him in Lonato del Garda, back in 2018.

— I want to thank the team for the support they've given me in my career so far and for the faith they’ve shown in me — the young man added, scanning the crowd of people present. His eyes finally landed on you — If it wasn’t for the trust Y/N and Toto placed in me, I wouldn’t be here, living this dream.

Your lips curled into a smile as you nodded in acknowledgment of the new driver’s words. Handing him over to Mercedes had been a desperate move on your part, made in the face of Ferrari’s stunning refusal to bring Kimi onboard, contradicting everything discussed in the previous meetings before his visit to Maranello.

However, you couldn’t live with yourself knowing you had crushed the dreams of such a talented boy like Kimi. He deserved that chance, and if you couldn’t give it to him, let Mercedes be the team to do so.

— Toto, what are your impressions of this new duo, which we could say is the first composed of athletes from the Mercedes academy? — a blonde woman asked.

— Our new pairing is perfect to open the next chapter of our history. It’s also proof of the strength of our junior driver program and our belief in homegrown talent — the team principal replied, turning to the young man next to him with a smile — Kimi has consistently demonstrated the talent and speed necessary to compete at a high level in our sport.

Placing a hand on the driver’s shoulder, you noticed there was a certain pride in Toto’s voice, as well as in his expression. And, in a way, it was justified, considering all the energy and resources invested in Kimi’s development. Toto was seeing, right there in that room, that he had made the right choice once again.

— George, could you share your thoughts on your new teammate? — an older journalist asked, hand raised — What can we expect from this partnership?

— I’m excited to have him as my teammate. His results in junior competitions are impressive, and his promotion is completely deserved — the Brit responded — He’s a fantastic young talent and has also been part of our driver academy. I hope I can use my own experience to help him in this step into Formula 1.

“I have no doubt you will”, you thought, searching for Kimi with your eyes. It was impossible not to notice how anxious he seemed. His attention shifted between the two men beside him and the beaded bracelet on his wrist, almost tiny compared to the team watch. It was easy to forget that he was just an 18-year-old boy — newly turned 18, in fact — taking his first steps into adulthood.

The press conference continued smoothly, with the occasional light-hearted comment from Toto, clearly trying to help Kimi relax in front of all those people. But you knew it wasn’t easy, even for someone older and more seasoned in these environments, like yourself.

When Bradley wrapped up the press conference, you noticed Kimi exhale in relief, as if trying to release all the tension. As the journalists left the motorhome, you approached the young man, who was listening attentively to Toto.

— Nice answers, kid — you said, placing a hand on his shoulder. When he realized it was you, he smiled.

— Did I do well?

— Really well. A true Mercedes driver.

A little chuckle escaped his lips.

— I’m glad you liked it, Mrs. Wolff — Kimi replied, making your cheeks warm up.

— For you, it’s Y/N, okay? No ‘Mrs. Wolff’.

— Is there something wrong with my last name, Mrs. Wolff? — Toto asked, raising an eyebrow.

— No, I just think he should call me the same as always.

— Kimi’s just being respectful to my wife — he retorted, moving closer to you and slipping a hand around your waist.

It was still surreal to you. The night after the unexpected meeting you’d had at the hotel bar, you two had gone out for dinner. But, unlike what you had expected, Toto had turned the supposed negotiation for a position in the driver academy management into something more intimate and personal. The exchanged glances and suggestive comments had eventually turned into a kiss at the end of the night, as well as an invitation for another dinner, this time in Monaco.

It didn’t take long before you ended up in his bed, as well as on the Mercedes payroll. Maurizio had tried, but Toto had already convinced you to leave Ferrari behind and dive headfirst into his project, both for the young drivers and for your lives together.

The marriage was a natural step, taking place in an intimate ceremony in Sardinia two years later. Before Toto and a dozen guests, you became Y/N Wolff to the world. But that didn’t mean you had stopped being responsible for the boys and girls in the junior categories.

— Before that, I’m the development advisor for this team’s young drivers.

— Well, it was more or less at the same time — Toto muttered, making you shake your head.

— You’re not helping, Torger.

— Damn — he replied, causing everyone around to burst into laughter.

The conversation went on for a few more minutes before Bradley invited the four of you to head up to the terrace of the motorhome to take some more pictures and record a few interviews for the company’s official channels. However, while Toto was being photographed talking to Kimi, you felt your phone vibrate.

"Your results are available," read the subject of the email you had just received.

Pressing your lips together, you unlocked your phone and clicked on the envelope icon on the screen. There was a strange tension building in your shoulders, a sense of anticipation you knew you shouldn’t have, especially considering what the tests you’d taken were about.

The discomfort you had been feeling over the last few weeks had led you to schedule an appointment with your general practitioner before leaving for Monza. It seemed to be just a severe cold, likely due to the sudden temperature changes during your travels. However, he had you take some basic blood tests to ensure there was nothing wrong.

As you read through the sequence of complicated names, "normal levels" and "negative," one title made you roll your eyes. "Why a pregnancy test?", you wondered as you scrolled down. It was obvious that would never happen — the malformation in your uterus, discovered when you were a teenager, had ended any possibility of you having your own family.

Until a single underlined word made your heart skip.

You felt the blood drain from your head, leaving only the echo of your pulse pounding in your ears. Air seemed not to reach your lungs, no matter how hard you tried to breathe. Your legs felt weak, as did the rest of your body.

— Y/N! — you heard someone shout before everything went dark.

When you opened your eyes again, there was no sun or clouds above you, only a gray ceiling and a fluorescent light. On your left side, a man in a white coat, apparently a circuit doctor, was checking your blood pressure with a serious expression, while someone outside your line of sight was stroking your head.

— Where... I — you mumbled, trying to get your bearings.

— I’m here, my love, I’m here — Toto said, leaning in to look at you. His eyes were filled with concern.

You blinked a few times as your husband murmured something you didn’t pay attention to. The words you had read on your phone’s screen were burned into your mind, echoing back and forth in your head.

The doctor removed the blood pressure cuff and slung it around his neck.

— It seems to be due to the heat — he said, looking first at the team principal and then at you — It’s important to stay hydrated and avoid being outside during the hottest hours.

You opened your mouth to respond, but Toto was quicker.

— Yes, we’ll be more careful about that, won’t we, my love?

You couldn’t speak. You just nodded, still a bit dazed. The doctor also recommended getting you something to eat to help you recover, which Toto assured would be done right away.

After the doctor left the room, you stared at the ceiling for several long seconds in silence, trying to process everything that had just happened. Sitting beside you, your husband brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his worry still evident.

— Are you feeling better? — Toto asked softly.

— Yes — you replied — Did I faint?

He nodded.

— Everyone was scared. No one realized you weren’t feeling well before — the team principal said — If it hadn’t been for Rosa, you might’ve hit your head on the ground, and it could’ve been much worse, but the doctor said it was the heat...

Toto’s words were lost in the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in your head. Seeing him talk about what had happened, the care he was taking with the situation, filled your chest with something warm and familiar.

— It wasn’t the heat — you murmured.

— What? But the doctor said...

— Toto, I got the results from those tests I took on Monday.

He blinked, processing the information for a few seconds.

— Is it serious?

You smiled gently.

— We’ll find out in nine months.

The concern on Toto’s face turned to shock. His mouth dropped open, and he hesitated for a few moments before asking the question you had been waiting so long to answer.

— Are you... Pregnant?

— Yes — you finally said, with tears streaming down your temples.

A disbelieving laugh escaped his lips, his brown eyes shining with emotion.

— But how? You told me about your malformation, the nearly zero chance of conceiving naturally, the whole issue with treatment and risk...

— I know, I know, but I did the test and... Oh my God — you paused, trying to take in the enormity of the moment. After years of dreaming about something you could never have, trying to heal that pain with your work in junior categories, you were going to fulfill the desire that had so often brought you to tears before sleep.

— We’re going to have a baby, Y/N — Toto said, as if he knew the affirmation that was repeating itself in your mind.

Nodding, you placed your hands on your husband’s face and pulled him into a sweet kiss, just like everything that was about to come into your lives. A life of diapers, toys, and a love you had never stopped wishing for, not even for a second.

You were still hugging when you heard a knock on the door. After being invited in, a pair of familiar brown eyes peeked through the gap.

— Toto — Kimi said quietly. When the team principal looked at him, the young man hesitated — Are you crying? Did something happen? Is Y/N okay?

You smiled, sitting up slowly on the sofa.

— Yes, I’m fine — you replied, wiping your nose, sniffling.

— You’re both crying — he noted.

— It’s just that we got some news — Toto began, sitting beside you.

You noticed Kimi’s expression shift to something resembling concern, his lips pressed into a thin line.

— And what is it?

You and Toto exchanged glances with a shadow of a smile on your lips.

— Well, we weren’t supposed to say anything just yet, but I guess it’s okay if it’s you...

Kimi moved closer and crouched in front of you, resting an arm on the side of the sofa.

— Is it bad?

— No, dear, it’s not — you replied, looking to the team principal, giving him a cue to continue.

— It’s just that Y/N is expecting a baby.

His eyes widened.

— Sei serio? — he asked in Italian.

Nodding, you confirmed the news.

— Cazzo, that’s amazing! — Kimi exclaimed, breaking into a wide grin before pulling you into a tight hug.

— No swearing, Kimi — you said, pulling away from him — You know you can’t say things like that, especially now.

— Sorry, mamma — he replied playfully. Your nurturing attitude toward the junior drivers had never gone unnoticed by them. Your care and attention, even off the track, had made you a safe harbor, not to mention a maternal figure. It wasn’t unusual for one of them to be at your house, whether for a quick visit or a weekend before competing at a nearby track.

— She’s right, Kimi, you need to watch your language. You have to be a good example for the younger ones — Toto said, placing a hand on your belly — Especially now.

— I will, you can count on it — the young man replied, with the enthusiasm of someone who had just found out he was going to have a younger sibling.

And you couldn’t wait to see him embrace that role.

#toto wolff #wlffog #formula 1 fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff fluff #toto wolff fanfic #formula 1 one shot #f1 one shot #formula one fic #formula one fanfic

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thesirencult · 11 months ago

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PAC READING: CHRISTMAS WISHES FROM YOUR FS

PILE 1

Your FS is going through a "10 Of Swords" moment. They have been blinded from the truth. Her light is stronger than any illusion's. You are part of this truth. You and this person share a very special soul bond. Your lives' are parallel to eachother, a thin thread connecting the dots until the moment you meet.

"Keep your map close to your chest darling.

Not many people will understand the journey you are embarking on. I do. I want you to know that I wish that all wishes come true the next year. I'm kinda hopping one of them involves me ; )

I wish you get to heal. I wish the sun is warming up your skin and your eyes are shining with hope. I wish I was there to hold your hand. We could embrace eachother under the sun.

You are my sun.

My Sun. Take the chance and that leap of faith. It will bring you closer to happiness and to me. There are times the most illogical choice and the most risky one leads us to success. The paradox of risk.

I wish you keep the flame in your heart alight and your optimism helps you rise above every single. I wish you find love and guidance within your soul.

Goodbye, for now, my Sun and Merry Christmas <3"

PILE 2

Your person is not happy. They are far away from you but energetically they can feel that you are struggling. Your person is very spiritual and they want you to hold on for a tiny bit longer. They might be older than you. When you meet they will take on the role of a mentor. They see you, the real you and they want to help this diamond form under pressure.

Your FS is very calm, cool and collected. They know what they want. Your message is more heav,y but I know, deep in my heart, that you are telepathetically connected and they constantly send you messages, especially through songs and quotes you stumble upon.

"I wish you could see yourself from my POV. The amazing, beautiful, strong soul that you are. I wish you could look at life through a different prism. I want you to take the reigns and show everyone who you are. I wish you find the strength to own your beauty.

Your energy is mesmerizing. Like a cold night under the full moon and a wolf howling in the background. Hecate.

Choose sovereignty. Choose yourself baby. You're not unlucky. Your time just hasn't come yet.

I want you to push one last time baby. Do it for me. I'm sorry I'm not there to wish you "Happy Christmas".

I wish you manifest your dreams,I wish you dare to invest in your future, in our future without thinking you don't deserve it.

You have more options than you think. Don't make any bad choice you will regret later.

I love you baby. I want you to be healthy and strong."

PILE 3

Your FS is very "hungry" for you. They want you to let them take control. They are more possessive and obsessive than you would expect. They show their emotions through touch and on the bed.

They are daring and won't mind to show that you are theirs to everyone. Your FS knows taht you have big goals and they want you to know that in the future you will achieve all your dreams.

They are pretty succesfull themselves and they want you to get that bag and level up. They love material things and they invest in their future. You would meet in an environment supporting your level up (gym, career day, course, seminar etc.).

"My lovey dovey Sweetheart,

I wish you indulge this season. I wish you let your hair down for a while. When you are mine I will help you calm down. I will take the burdens off of your shoulders and tie your hands. Merry Christmas my lovely baby. I wish this time next year we are together, driving around in our luxury vehicles.

Let me dominate you. Let me take control. I will wrap satin sheets around you and carry you to the bathroom. A bathtub full of rose petals. Champagne for you my love. Sit on my face.

I wish you achieve all your goals. I wish you get your dream car, you bossy little lady. I will hold your hand through everything. I'll be by your side on long nights and I will proudly parade you around and show you off to everyone. I want them to know that the most accomplished person is mine.

You are mine. Mine. Mine.

Always yours, your FS."

#astrology #tarot reading #level up journey #pac reading #tarot #pick a photo #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #soulmate #intuitive readings #psychic #channeled message #future spouse #twinflame

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ln4bub · 11 months ago

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Classical Conditioning (CL16)

A/N This is my first fic that isn't based off of a request, I hope you guys enjoy it

Pairing - Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

Word count - 1.7k

Charles was always grateful for the support you gave him, by his side since won the F2 championship all those years ago. The two of you were inseparable, especially after you finished your degree. You were lucky enough to find a job that meant you could work from home, and so every weekend you would be in the paddock with Charles, always adorned in Ferrari red in some way. Everyone loved you, if not the content on your Instagram at the very least. You'd celebrated with Charles when he got his first win, when he won in Spa and in Monza, the Ferrari 1-2; everything you'd been through together.

But this season was already rough on Charles, from the strategy failures to the car itself, he was frustrated. He had no control over anything, so you hatched a plan. You were going to teach Charles to get used to not being in control, something he'd had throughout your relationship. You sat him down, leg bouncing nervously. Charles' concerned eyes met yours, his hand coming to rest on your leg, "It's okay mon cherie, you can tell me anything." He mutters, thumb rubbing gentle circles into the skin of your thigh. You release a deep breath, "I was thinking, that maybe, to help you with having less control, we could, uhm, try something new." You murmur, voice quiet. Charles' eyes narrow, eyebrows furrowed, "New?" He questions.

"In the bedroom?" You say, doubt creeping into your tone. "It's just, I think it might help you to be more comfortable, if it's not something you want to try that's totally fine, just an idea." You ramble, nervous to hear his response. "I want to try, I've kinda wanted to for a while to be completely honest, I think it would be hot." He tells you, soft smiling his gracing his cheeks as they turn a light rose colour. You return his smile, tension leaving your shoulders as the two of you discuss boundaries and ideas for the rest of the night.

The first time Charles asks you to take control is after qualifying in Spain. Charles found himself annoyed that after he seemed to be on the up the car had failed him again, leaving him in P19 for tomorrow's race. You ease him into it, simply teasing him with your mouth until he's begging you to just let him have something, to feel his orgasm within reach. You swirl your tongue around the head of his cock, suckling gently and dipping your tongue into the slit. He whines out at the sudden onslaught of pleasure, the vein of his cock throbbing against your tongue. You slide up his body, kissing away the tear the falls from his eye before leaning into his lips. The moment you wrap your hand around his cock and whisper against his lips, "Cum for me mon amour." He can't stop himself. He erupts in white over your fist, stomach clenching, thighs shaking, moans of thank you leaving his mouth. You remove your hand from his member, some of his cum covering your thumb. You tap it lightly on his lips. Charles eagerly opens his mouth, taking in your thumb and sucking it clean, eyes shut in pleasure.

After that night Charles' season seems to turn around again, 5 consistent points finishes in a row. Charles is adamant that it's down to your presence, grateful that you're by his side in support. Then Zandvoort happens. Between the contact in the opening lap and the missing tires, Charles was devastated. He was dead silent, the whole way back to the hotel, simply holding your hand and squeezing every couple of minutes. He stays silent as you open the door to the hotel room, skulking into the shower. You sit on the bed, waiting for him to return from the shower. He eventually kneels down in front of you, hair messy from the shower, towel tied around his waist. "I want to forget about it, please help me mon amour." He whispers, hands resting on your thighs. "How do you want me to help Charlie?" You ask, hand tilting his chin to look up at you. His eyes are lidded, clouded with lust as he stares into your own. "Want to make you feel good." He mutters, eyes fluttering shut when your thumb traces his cheeks. He worships you all night, first with his tongue, and then with his fingers, and then both. The sounds filling the room are filthy, your moans and his whines, the slurping sounds coming from his mouth against you. When he finally pulls away you trace your thumb over his lips, collecting your cum. Once again he takes your thumb in his mouth, savouring your taste.

You're convinced that your idea had helped Charles, he was doing well, top five finishes week after week. You stand in the Ferrari garage, biting your nail as Charles begins his final qualifying lap in Austin. It feels like you don't breathe, for the next minute and 34 seconds you stand stock still. P1. Charles had taken his third pole position of the season and the garage erupted, yells and cheers spilled out into the pitlane. You raced to find Charles, engulfing him in a hug and kissing his helmut as he thanks you profusely. Sunday came along and you had never been more nervous, praying that this went well for Charles. He drops down the grid through the race, losing pole position and eventually finishing P6 after Ferrari fail to come up with a good strategy... again. Just two hours later, both him and Lewis were disqualified. You're right next to Charles as they break the news to him, his face dropping in disappointment. "There's nothing I can do, it's completely fair. It's just so frustrating," he begins to explain, "I guess I'm just glad it's only P6 being taken from me and not a podium like Lewis." You wrap your arms around him once more, his head resting on your shoulder as he sighs. That night he asks you to help him once more, and you spend the night bouncing on his cock as he gags on your fingers. His spit spills out of his mouth as he cums inside you, eyes rolling back and cheeks flushed red.

The same routine continues, in Brazil after he is unable to start, he drags you back to his drivers' room. He locks the door before begging you to take him in your mouth, it doesn't take him long to cum, spilling his load down your throat. You hum against his length, continuing to suckle on the tip as his thighs quake. His whimpers increase as you push him as far as you can, mouth encasing his sensitive cock as his fingers fist into your hair. He eventually taps the side of your cheek and you let him out of your mouth with a pop, standing in front of him as he pants heavily. "So good to me mon amour, que ferais-je sans toi?" He mutters and you smile against his chest.

Vegas is his redemption, finally back on the podium. It was the perfect weekend for him, gaining control over the car and showing what he was made of. Being able to put himself on the podium with both Red Bulls causes you to beam up at him. Charles shoots you a wink, smirking at the thought of what the pair of you will get up to in celebration tonight. Slightly tipsy, the two of you giggle as you stumble through your hotel room door. Before you know it Charles is shirtless underneath you, panting as you scratch your nails down his chest, his wrists tied to the bed with his Ferrari neckties. He can't help but watch, his neck craning as you touch yourself. One hand down your panties as the other moves to palm his bulge. Your orgasm rolls through you, a moan of Charles' name leaving your lips as your back arches. You crawl over him, hovering over his thigh as you begin to use him for your pleasure. Your underwear discarded, you reach down, coating your fingers in your juices. Charles waits for you to run your fingers over his lips before opening his mouth wide, tongue out ready to taste you. He sucks your fingers dry, whining at the taste of you as you cum against his thigh. You use every inch of his body that night; his tongue, his fingers, his abs, his thighs. He's desperate to cum by the time you sink down on his length, begging you to just let him cum inside you. You take pity on him, grinding lightly and clenching your walls to drain his cock. He practically passes out when you're done, falling asleep against you as massage hand lotion into his reddened wrists.

Both of you breathe a sigh of relief by the time the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix rolls around. Counting down the days until you can say goodbye to the SF-23, the pair of you go out for dinner with some of the grid. George, Alex, Max, Daniel, Carlos, and their respective partners join you both. Laughter carries through the restaurant as George breaks out in a coughing fit from Alex telling ridiculous jokes. Charles' smile fills you with joy, grateful to see your boyfriend carefree for a change. He convinces the table to order dessert, ordering himself a tiramisu, claiming that it's one of the best he's had outside of Italy. He barely breathes as he shovels down the dessert, Carlos looking at him with a concerned expression. "Dios mio Charles, hungry are you?" He chuckles. Charles blushes lightly, nodding as you drops the spoon onto the plate. "Sorry, it's just really good." He laughs. You turn to face him, he has a small drop of cream on the corner of his lips. Without thinking you reach up, swiping your thumb against the corner of his mouth to collect the cream. On instinct Charles tilts his head, capturing your thumb in his mouth and sucking the cream off the tip with a hum. The pair of you freeze as everyone looks at you in shock. Lily and Carmen are giggling in the corner as George and Alex smirk. Max raises an eyebrow, as does Carlos, both smirking at you. Daniel is the first to speak, "That seemed a bit too natural for you there Charlie, do that often?" He laughs.

Charles blushes once more as a smile spreads across your face, your hand rests on his thigh squeezing lightly as you direct the topic of conversation elsewhere.

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moonstruckme · 3 months ago

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Hiiii! Saw that you had a Carmy Berzatto fic and that you didn't mind requests soooo 👀 if you're feeling inspired, would you be down to write a reverse!comfort fic of the reader comforting Camry after one of his nightmare/sleepwalking episodes? Or could also be just them comforting him in general idk, I just want that boy to have love 😭

Love your fics!

Hi, thank you for requesting! I want him to have love too :') I set this during season 1 when he sleepwalks and almost sets his kitchen on fire and just sort of put reader into that scenario, hope that's alright!

cw: fire, nightmare/sleepwalking, implied ptsd

Carmy Berzatto x fem!reader ♡ 558 words

“Carmy?” You come into the kitchen bleary-eyed and sluggish. Then the smoke alarm starts beeping, and you come awake all at once.

“Carm.” You open the window. Your boyfriend is moving a flaming pan on the stove with practiced, robotic movements. “Carm, Carm!”

Your fingers wrap around his wrist, meaning to pull his grip off the pan, and Carmy jolts awake with a petrified inhale. You bite down on your lip as he steps backward onto your foot.

“It’s okay.” You reach around him to shut off the stove before turning him around by his shoulders. Hug him with one arm, tight, the way he likes, while using the other to toss the pan into the sink. Whatever he’d been burning sizzles as the flame dies out. “It’s okay.”

“Shit,” Carmy breathes.

“It’s okay. You’re at home.”

“Shit.”

“I know, just take a breath. Everything is fine.”

“I know.” He’s stiff in your arms. “I—fuck, no I don’t. That wasn’t fine.”

“Yeah, it was, Carm.” You soften your voice, trying to calm yourself down for the both of you. Your hand coasts up between his shoulder blades, petting down the curling hairs at his nape. “It was fine, because we’re still okay. Nobody got hurt. The apartment is fine. It’s all good.”

You feel it slowly, the way the tension seeps out of Carmy’s shoulders and into his hands, fisting in the back of your nightshirt. You hug him tighter. He takes the cue, squeezing you to him.

“I’m sorry,” he says. He sounds tired, more tired than he did when he first woke up, like you’re more restful than sleep. Your heart throbs. “I fucked up.”

“Not really. Your unconscious sort of fucked up, a little. But I don’t think that’s on you. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

The response comes too quick, automatic and you both realize it. You don’t press him. Carmy lets his head drop against your shoulder, and you tighten the hug around the breath he lets out.

“Like I said. Everything is fine.”

“It’s kind of not fine, though, right?” Your boyfriend sounds worried. “Like, I probably shouldn’t be setting shit on fire in the middle of the night.”

“Mm, debatable.” You start to inch away, waiting for Carmy’s grip to loosen before letting him go. “You wanna know what I think?”

“Sure.”

You try on a smile, leaning back against the counter. Smoke still clouds the ceiling. “I don’t think you really wanna know what I think.”

Carmy’s eyes warm. It’s the best you’re gonna get. Your boyfriend is a serious creature; when he’s in a mood it’s impossible to coax a smile from him, but humor can still help him to relax, if only slightly.

“Probably not,” he plays along, “but tell me anyway.”

You take his hands, working them open with your fingers in between his, and pull him towards you for a kiss. “I think,” you say, “that you should probably go to that thing Nat’s been bugging you about.”

Carmy’s shoulder’s sag with reluctance, but there’s acquiescence in there, too.

“And,” you go on, “after that, we can go hunt down the psycho who made you almost light our kitchen on fire, vigilante style.”

Carmy makes a humphing sound, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. It’s not a smile, but that’s okay; it’s just as good.

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supercap2319 · 4 months ago

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do you remember the scene in season 1 episode 3 where Elena catches Vicki in the bathroom brushing her teeth implying that her and Jeremy has spent the night together? Can we get a male Gilbert reader story where instead of Vicki it's Matt and Mel Gilbert reader, and Elena gets judgy and tells Jenna on them but she already knows.

Elena awoke with the sense of dread. If last night was any indication of where the source of her uneasiness came from, it was how she and Stefan left things. How he was keeping something from her, and the more she pushed, the more he pulled away. Not to mention how Stefan's older brother Damon was abusing Caroline. Like, what was that all about?

She slumped against her pillow and looked at the stack of books on her nightstand. One of them was her diary. Elena reached out and grabbed it as she sat up and had every intention of writing down everything that she was feeling in this moment. Her pen touched the page, but no words were written. Seems like she just couldn't write. No matter how much she wanted to, there was something keeping her from doing so. Looks like Stefan had a hold of Elena more than she originally thought.

The thought of Stefan instantly made her feel numb and sad as Elena shook thoughts of the handsome boy out of her head and headed to the bathroom to wash her face. She opened the door that she shared with her younger brother, Y/N. Elena was surprised not to find Y/N nor Jeremy using all the good toothpaste to brush their teeth, but the shirtless and muscular form of Matthew Honeycutt Donovan.

Elena was no stranger to Matt and his physique. They dated throughout their high school careers, but after the death of her parents, Elena just couldn't be with Matt anymore. They were still best friends, and Elena loved having Matt over, but why was he here at 7:00 in the morning? Matt looked like a deer caught in headlights as he's not sure if he should cover his bare chest or his blue boxers with bunnies on them. "Elena? I-I'm sorry, I'm almost done."

Elena looks confused. "It's fine, Matt. Take your time." She closed the door and blinked. What the hell just happened?

A few minutes later, Matt enters Y/N's room with a smirk on his face, a bounce in his step. "I think you might be in trouble." He said, jumping on the bed and wrapping them both in covers and comforters.

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"

"Oh, Elena saw me."

"I'm a horny teenage boy with a hot jock in my bed. I'm pretty sure there are worse things that I could be doing." Y/N smiled. Matt smiled and kissed Y/N on the lips as they wrestled until Matt was on top and kissed Y/N into the mattress as he reached down into his boxers and tugged.

Elena walked downstairs to find Jenna in the kitchen. "Jenna! Are you aware of what's going on upstairs?"

"Uh-huh." Jenna says nonchalantly.

"And you have no objection?" Elena asked. How could she act like this wasn't a big deal? How Matt could be here and from his body language, he was definitely sleeping with one of her brothers, and it wasn't Jeremy.

"Y/N could be craftier about it, at least make an effort to sneak him in and out. Oh, and just so you know, I won't be home for dinner." Jenna smiles.

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #vampire diaries #the vampire diares #male reader #matt donovan #Matt Donovan x male reader #matt honeycutt #Matt Honeycutt x male reader

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glamatron3000 · 5 months ago

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The Unofficial Malto Family Cookbook

I was inspired by the longing of @ihatebrainstorm for Alex's cooking to do a deep dive into just what Earthspark's best dad was making, so here it is! The Unofficial Malto Family Cookbook!

Just a note, I am in no way familiar with Filipino cooking (I mostly cook American, European, and Japanese-inspired food in my day to day) but I'd like to think I am a skilled practitioner of Google-Fu, so here's what I was able to find!

These dishes were either shown or mentioned, sometimes both, in season 1 and the first half of season 2. I believe I got them all, but I did pan through the episodes pretty quickly, so let me know if I missed any!

Embutido

First up is the main dish from episode 1, which already sent me on an adventure trying to identify because it was never named. After poking around a few Filipino recipe sites I managed to identify it as embutido, which is described as a Filipino meatloaf. Dot mentions that it is her favorite dish.

Lumpia

The side dish of Dot's celebratory new job meal is lumpia, Filipino egg rolls! This dish appears regularly in the Malto family's meals, seen twice again in the first half of season 2.

Pandesal

Okay, so technically this is probably just a store-bought dinner roll, but why not try to find if there's a Filipino recipe it could be? Our boy Alex seems like the type of guy to pull out all the stops when it comes to feeding his family. The closest I could find is pandesal to round out our episode 1 meal.

Breakfast Burrito

In episode 2, we see Robbie lure Alex out to the barn with a picnic of breakfast burritos. Now surely there's also a Filipino style recipe for this, yes? Yes!

Longganisa

In episode 3, we see Alex frying up a pan of sausage for breakfast. Could be store bought, but it's also possible that it's a traditional Filipino pork sausage called longganisa.

Tortang

Here's our first one that was only mentioned and not shown. In episode 4, Alex tries twice to coax Bee into frying tortillas with his stingers. At first I thought he meant just regular flour or corn tortillas, but the way he was talking made it sound like a main dish and not just an ingredient. So after a bit of digging I found a dish called tortang, which is sometimes referred to as tortilla from what I can gather (citation needed -- I am a dumb American). Unlike the sort of tortilla you would use in a wrap or burrito, this dish is closer to an omelet. Those with more knowledge of Filipino cooking please feel free to correct me if I got this wrong.

Bibingka

Another only mentioned in episode 4, this is the dish Robbie would have picked to have for dinner for a week if he'd won the weekly chore race. Of course a child would pick a sweet dessert for dinner if he could.

Spam Steak

Okay, this was another mystery for me, particularly because of the way everything is stylized in the show. In episode 5, we see Alex frying up another breakfast food. I thought maybe it was a kind of french toast, but the browning texture didn't look quite right for that. So I browsed through the breakfast section of the recipe website I've been using and the closest I've found is this crispy spam steak recipe. Apparently spam is pretty popular in the Philippines, so it's possible! Again, if anyone more knowledgeable has another option, please correct me.

Snickerdoodles

In episode 7, Alex makes bagged lunches for Mo and Robbie's first day at school. While we don't know what's in those lunches, Alex did mention that he included his homemade snickerdoodles. Snickerdoodles originate from Dutch/German immigrants who settled in New England, and since there's a lot of Dutch/German heritage in Pennsylvania where the Maltos live, I'm fairly confident this is something Alex picked up in America. But just for fun, I did find an interesting Filipino/Mexican-inspired variant of this classic cookie, so you get a two for one deal with this one!

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me post more in a single post, so the rest will have to be in a Part 2 reblog!

#maccadam #tf earthspark #earthspark spoilers #alex malto #cooking #recipes

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woniverse-writes · 1 year ago

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"Moth to a Flame (part 6)"

Bada Lee x Reader

part 5 ⟵ part 6 ⟶ part 7

series masterlist

summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.

word count: 12k

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of depression anxiety disorder, mentions of medication, not proofread, nothing i write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction

It had been almost a week since the interim mission check. Almost a week since 1 million was estimated to place first. A week since Jam Republic began preparing themselves for elimination. A week since Bada and Y/n fought… a week since the two had last spoken.

After the screaming match between the two girls and y/n making her exit with a slam of team Bebe's dressing room door, the younger headed to her own dressing room bawling her eyes out. Her teammates didn't immediately question anything as she stormed in and began to aggressively pack up the few things she had brought back for the day. Audrey made her way over to place a gentle hand on her shoulder

"y/n-" but was immediately swatted away by the still-crying girl. y/n immediately turned around with regret written all over her face

"I'm so sorry- I didn't- I didn't mean to push you away" she sobbed with wide eyes, shaking her head, trying to convince her friend that she didn't mean it, but Audrey already knew that. Audrey knew Y/n.

"hey, hey! It's okay, I know you didn't mean to…" she comforted the girl, bringing her into a hug. This time the younger girl let her friend wrap her in a warm hug. She buried her face in Audrey's chest and bawled her eyes out until she felt too tired to carry on.

"Is something else bothering you lovey?" Kirsten asked gently from somewhere in the corner. Y/n looked up slightly confused, which is when she realized they had no idea what just happened. She began to cry all over again, this time just weeping exhaustedly. I don't even think you could call it crying- more so just her looking sad as tears freely ran down her face. It took her a few minutes before she could even begin to explain, but when she did it wasn’t any easier.

“I got into an argument with Bada… well- it was actually a really bad fight, and- and I totally fucked everything up” Poor girl could barely finish her sentence, as she hiccuped her way through it before she started sobbing and heaving again. Everyone in the room shared looks of shock and confusion, all rushing closer to comfort their youngest. Audrey already had her hand rubbing circles softly on Y/n’s back while Emma sat on the other side rubbing her shoulder, and the oldest three kneeled/sat in front of her.

“I’m so sorry my sweet girl… do you wanna tell us about it?” Kirsten being the wonderful leader and friend she is, did not hesitate one second before openly trying to comfort y/n. The youngest sniffled and hiccuped a bit more while trying to nod.

“Y-yeah, just give me a-a few minutes, p-please” y/n shakily pleaded as her sobs picked back up. After about ten minutes of crying, she was pretty sure there was nothing left in her. Latrice had gotten up to get her water a few minutes ago and now was forcing her to drink it seeing as y/n had been able to calm down.

“Take your time baby, you don’t have to tell us everything- you don’t even have to tell us anything if you don’t want to!” Ling reassured her little bestie and made sure y/n still remembered how safe she was with Jam Republic.

“No, it’s okay- I want you guys to know… I just- I don’t even know where to start or how to retell this…or if I even have the energy to do so right now…” the youngest countered, wanting just to tell her members what happened and get it out of the way so she could begin suppressing it, but her eyes began to droop and her voice got soft, both being immediate signs of her exhaustion. And on any other day, or in any other situation her members would find it quite endearing, but they can’t help but feel crushed at the sight.

“Why don’t we finish packing- after the flight, you’ll have rested a bit, and if you’re feeling up to once we’ve landed you can explain the whole situation to us then. If not, that’s okay too.” Latrice gently spoke up, reminding everyone that they had a flight to leave for in just under an hour and a half. Y/n sniffled and nodded, slowly standing up. Everyone immediately backed away slightly to give her enough space, then watched as she lifelessly moved around the space, finishing packing her things. It sincerely shocked them to see her this way, thinking it was already pretty bad how she was acting before they showed up- and that was when they WEREN’T paying attention to her. Y/n was never good at hiding her feelings unless it was when she was dancing or performing- when she was putting on a show- so to see her so sluggish and empty really scared the five other members of Jam Republic.

“This is going to be a long, hard fucking week…” Emma noted, the others either nodding or tiredly humming in agreement.

________________

“Do you wanna talk about any of it?” Lusher tried her best not to pry- not that she would've had to pry much anyway since she heard the whole thing- but she wanted to hear how Bada was feeling with the aftermath. The leader just sighed deeply once again with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over as she laid her head in her hands.

Bada felt nauseous. She felt dizzy, like the room was spinning and her ears were ringing. To be completely honest, there was a possibility she would pass out at any moment. None of what had just happened in the last- what? 20 minutes? Was it longer than that? Hell, was it shorter? Bada really had no clue, but none of what had happened in that time felt real to her.

“I don’t know Lusher…” the leader finally mumbled, still hunched over. It was quiet and meek, sounding exhausted. The sub-leader glanced around at her teammates whose faces were all some sort of variation of fear or anxiety, She sighed and crossed her arms before speaking up again

“Well, then how about we get some rest? Maybe afterward you’ll want to talk about it, or maybe you won’t- either way, we’ll be here…” She firmly stated, knowing how tired everyone was and how sleep easily played a role in how well they felt. The leader took a huge breath, her members watching had her shoulders rose and fell. Bada stood up with her head still hanging low. The other girls moved out of the way and watched as the oldest started groggily packing up her things and sat back down on the couch with an empty look when she finished.

“I’m ready when you guys are.”

____________

The first day back in New Zealand was just another segment added to the nightmare that Jam Republic has been living in these last few days. Y/n slept the whole plane ride but woke up with a very minor fever and headache. She just chalked it up to crying so much and getting so world up.

“I promise it’s fine Kirsten, I'm probably just dehydrated-”

“Which still isn’t good! Even if that’s the case, it’s not something to treat lightly, y/n. And since I know you’re lying it’s even more serious to me… I need you to try your best to take care of yourself right now love, we need you.” she dragged the youngest over to some airport market and grabbed two waters and a bottle of juice. Kirsten glanced over her shoulder and saw eyeing up some snacks, but didn’t end up grabbing them. When the younger walked away to look at something else, the leader moved to grab whatever she was looking at. The bright colorful packaging with cute designs made her smile. It was obviously a very y/n-like treat- some sort of sweet gummies with a sour sugar coating. She grabbed two of them and got a savory snack as well, knowing how stubborn her youngest is and how hard on herself she can get.

When all of their luggage had been picked up, all six members of Jam Republic headed back to their hotel. y/n lay with her head against the cool glass of the window, not quite asleep but definitely not mentally present. Everyone was already worried from what had happened the previous day, but it seemed like something different was the issue now. Y/n didn’t only seem depressed anymore- she seemed physically ill.

By the time they arrived at their place, Emma was the first to offer y/n help, which she obviously declined. Yet Emma still took her heavier bags, and y/n didn’t even have the energy to complain. The older carried them up for her as she dragged behind the rest of the group. Audrey, noticing how out of it her best friend was, circled back around to meet y/n in the back of the clump

“You not feeling too good, bunny?” the slightly older brunette questioned with eyes full of concern, and a mouth of whatever candy bar she was munching on. Y/n actually felt herself smile a bit at how endearing her friend was. still, she sighed and nodded, which of course Audrey didn’t believe.

“I really don’t get why you feel like you have to lie about it…” the elder mumbled, kicking a rock while they walked. Great, now I made Audrey upset. y/n frowned and sighed deeply

“It’s just easier to deal with it by myself�� it’s exhausting having to explain why I feel the way I do, especially when I don’t even understand it half the time… I wanna tell you guys, I promise I do, but it would drag the team down so much, Audrey…”

“Why do you say that? Because we’d have to take time to discuss what’s wrong? Because we’d have to stop working and focus on you for a second?”

“No Audrey it’s not-”

“Oh so then it’s because we care about you and we’d do anything for you in a heartbeat and you don’t wanna accept that you have people that sincerely love you? You don’t wanna accept that you really are a loveable amazing person who doesn’t deserve to be talked to or treated like that?” Audrey pointed off somewhere in the direction they had just come from, seething as she finished. this was the first time y/n had ever seen the girl as angry as she was, but she couldn’t help but feel confused

“How… how do you know what she said?” y/n tilted her head and awaited her friend’s response with said eyes. Audrey hesitated for a second, feeling like she’d said too much, but sighed and began speaking again

“Lusher told Latrice… well- Latrice and me. I still want to hear everything from you though- I want to know how you’re processing all this and how it felt for you because while she seemed neutral, there could just as easily be things Lusher left out in favor of Bada.” she quickly explained, hoping she hadn’t betrayed the other girl’s trust by getting the story from someone else first.

“Lusher didn’t seem… mad? Wait- how does she know? Did Bada really tell them everything already? I mean I guess that makes sense since-” her mumbled external pondering was cut off

“They heard everything…” the older of the two once again spoke hesitantly, unsure of how the other would react. y/n just glanced over, slightly dazed

“Huh?” Audrey let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding, then continued explaining.

“Lusher said their entire team was just around the corner while you guys were arguing, and they could hear everything…” she trailed off at the end, cringing slightly at how bad the entire situation was. Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, feeling another wave of headaches coming

“Great, now all of team Bebe hates me…”

“You don’t know that!” Audrey was simply trying to be her optimistic self, and she couldn’t help but giggle when the slightest bit of normal y/n showed through the depression when she gave her older friend an over-exaggerated deadpan look. The two finally reached their shared room and began unpacking the few things they had. After doing so, the girls all quickly washed up and got changed, then headed to practice.

Practice had gone well for the most part- the first half was reworking practically everything and adding more to make the choreography stand out more. The second half was just drilling everything until it was muscle memory, or at least close to it. Everyone could tell y/n wasn’t feeling well. It didn’t show in her dance, but definitely on her face as she looked miserable every time they finished.

“Why don’t you take a break hon-” Emma tried convincing her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, to which y/n loosely pushed it away

“Em, I’m fine” she whined and moaned, tired of having everyone baby her for the day. The older stood there for a moment before sighing and shaking her head, then walking off. The rest of the practice went the same, and everyone finished wrapping things up around 12:45 am.

Later that evening (or morning rather) after practice had ended and all of Jam Republic had returned to their hotel, y/n started throwing up and her fever increased severely, ending her up in the ER at 2 am with Kirsten and Ling, the others being told to stay back and get some rest.

“After running some tests and talking with her, it just seems like a stress fever, which thankfully means there’s nothing physically wrong- well besides some dehydration, but we have her on an IV for right now- However, whatever is causing the girl so much stress should probably be taken out of her life immediately…” the doctor sternly informed the two oldest members of Jam Republic. They both just looked at each other, not really knowing what to do, seeing as their poor baby’s stress was unavoidable right now unless she were to completely drop from the challenge, and maybe even the entire competition as a whole.

“We’re actually a part of a competition right now… we want her to rest but- we need her to be able to compete with us. Is there anything we can do to speed up the recovery?” Ling spoke before her friend could, the desperate tone already taking over her voice. The doctor sighs and takes off his glasses.

“We could try putting her on an anti-anxiety medication to see if that helps… but it really would be the most ideal to let her rest as much as possible in a low-stress environment.”

“A low-stress environment isn’t really possible right now. And- she’s actually already on something for anxiety and depression, would she even be allowed to do that?” at Kirsten’s question the doctor looks slightly confused

“Has she not been taking the medication recently? Because when we ran the tests to see if there was something in her system, we found no traces of drugs, alcohol, or any substances…” The two dancers once again looked at each other, having a silent conversation.

“Would we be able to see her?” the leader asks softly, to which the doctor nods and leads them to y/n’s room. He opens the door and they find her lying there staring off into space, barely awake.

“Hey honey… is it alright if we come in?” Kirsten asked as softly as she could while still wanting the girl to hear her. Y/n nodded wordlessly and closed her eyes. The two oldest Jam Republic members came and sat near her hospital bed and after a few minutes of conversation with the doctor, it was just the three of them in the room.

“Sweetheart…” the leader brushed some hair out of y/n’s face and watched as her eyes fluttered open

“Did you hear any of that?” She finished and furrowed her brows, unsure of how aware of her surroundings the younger was. Y/n shook her head and matched Kirsten’s expression

“They’re gonna keep you here overnight to make sure you get enough hydration before going back, okay?” She kept brushing away stray hairs and petting them down softly against y/n’s head, lulling her to sleep. There was a slight nod of understanding. Kirsten stood up and y/n quickly (as quickly as she could) reached out to grab her hand

“Please stay… at least one of you… can at least one of you please stay with me” the youngest pleaded in a pitiful whisper that made the older two’s hearts break all over again. This girl really was going to be the death of them all

“Of course honey, we’ll both stay” Ling reaches for her other hand pressing a motherly kiss to the back of it

“I’m sorry… for slowing down the process and now dragging you guys into it… you should be getting good rest right now… not here with me… and here I am being selfish by asking you to stay… shocker…” It seemed like y/n was just mumbling whatever was coming to mind, yet tears were once again freely slipping down. Her eyes closed and wet eyelashes fluttered softly against her cheeks as she drifted off. The two sat there in slight shock, a bit taken aback by what she’d said. Both had wanted to say something and let her know how wrong she was- how while yes they should’ve been resting, it was more important to them that she was okay. After a few minutes of silence, Ling spoke up

“Why didn’t you tell her she can’t practice?”

“Because now is not the time to send her into a nervous breakdown… she’s barely even conscious, it’d probably give her a heart attack if I told her she wasn’t allowed to practice” the leader stressed and hung her head for a moment.

“We’re gonna have to ask her about her medication in the morning…” she sighed rubbing her forehead, causing Ling the groan softly so as not to disrupt the sleeping girl a few inches away

The next day Kirsten woke up first and told a half-asleep Ling she was going to grab breakfast for them. When she returned, it seemed the older had been awake for a bit and that y/n had just been waking up. The leader sat in the chair next to the hospital bed and handed everyone their food. y/n thanked her teammate quietly and they all began eating. After a few brief moments of silence and soft chewing, Kirsten spoke up

“So there are a few things we need to talk about…” she mentioned seriously, glancing up at y/n who was staring intensely at her food, but had stopped chewing for the moment.

“...like what?” the younger questioned and went back to cutting up her food to eat more.

“Like why you haven’t been telling us things… we need to know when you aren’t feeling well y/n or else we can’t help you-” Kirsten explained in a worried motherly tone but was quickly cut off

“I don’t want you to have to help me-” the bedridden girl argued tiredly and sighed. There wasn’t any anger and she didn’t raise her voice in the slightest. She was just exhausted.

“I should be able to take care of myself on my own. I’m an adult… i should start acting like one” y/n spoke everything loud and clear until the last phrase. She had mumbled the statement to herself, sinking back into her pillows and wallowing in pity again, but Ling and Kirsten both heard the self-deprecating callout. Every second that passed, the two eldest grew more and more worried about their youngest’s wellbeing

“The doctors said they didn’t didn’t find any traces of anything in your system, which is good, but that also included your meds… did you forget to take them yesterday?” Ling questioned softly rubbing the back of the girl’s hand. Y/n once again goes completely silent, and avoids eye contact with an extremely guilty expression, which has both older members raising an eyebrow.

“Y/n… what’s up?” Kirsten pushed for a response, causing the younger dancer to sigh

“I haven’t been taking them regularly…” Y/n mumbled, fiddling with the blanket that laid over her lap, still avoiding eye contact.

“You haven’t been taking your meds???” “Y/n are you fucking kidding me? Since when?” both members started began outwardly stressing

“...since the second week of filming-”

“THAT WAS THREE AND A HALF MONTHS AGO-”

“Lingy, let’s not yell at her… I’m sure she had a reason…” Kirsten put a hand on her shoulder and the oldest sighed, they both turned expectantly to y/n, who felt immensely small in front of them for the first time in her entirety of knowing the two dancers.

“...they were making me tired” The youngest curled into her and cringed at the excuse, especially after seeing both women’s faces drop into disbelief.

“Are you serious right now?” Ling questioned with a deadpan expression her arms crossed. Y/n bit her lip and continued to play with her fingers.

“y/n…” Kirsten sighed as she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose

“I started that new medication and it made it impossible for me to do anything! I was barely making it through those battles and the only thing keeping me going was the excitement and adrenaline-” The youngest tried to defend her reasoning but what cut off

“So you thought it was better to just take nothing? Why didn’t you say something to someone, or even just call your doctor and ask to go back-” This was the first time Kirsten even slightly raised her voice at y/n, and it wasn’t even at that point, but the small girl could feel the disappointment radiating off of her team leader, and she felt everything come crashing again.

“Because I didn’t want to go back to the other medication, it did nothing for me- I wouldn’t have switched in the first place if it worked!” she could feel herself getting worked up again, tears somehow still being able to form. She sighed and laid back in the hospital bed, actually crying this time instead of having tears judge freely fall down her face as she stared blankly.

“I know I shouldn’t have stopped taking them… but I just couldn’t do it. I thought I was doing fine…” y/n mumbled, wiping away tears and sniffling, feeling exhausted again.

“Y/n…” Kirsten started after taking a deep breath and hearing the younger girl’s hum of recognition

“You can’t practice.”

“What…” barely came out as a whisper

“You’re too stressed out right now, and your immune system is down… you aren’t eating or sleeping properly and you’re overworking yourself. You are literally killing yourself slowly… and for what? A stupid competition? Some girl?” she tried to keep her tone level and calm, but Kirsten couldn’t help the rise at the mention of the other team leader, hating her in that brief moment for being one of the reasons her poor baby was feeling this way

“If it’s so stupid Kirsten, then why are we here?” Y/n could feel herself getting frustrated again. This was exactly why no one took her seriously, because her team didn’t even take her seriously, or at least that’s what she thought. Kirsten let out what felt like the twelve hundredth sigh within the last 24 hours.

“They’re discharging you in about 20 minutes… you’re allowed to come to practice but it’s recommended that you don’t… the doctors said it’s best to keep you out of high-stress environments right now-“

“Yeah well, do they even know what’s going on?” so many things were happening in the moment. Y/n felt like she was going to combust and throw up and pass out all at once. She’d never spoken to Kirsten like this- fuck she’d never felt frustrated with Kirsten like this.

“Yes y/n, we told them, and they still think it’s best for you to rest… at least for a little while” The leader’s tone was back to gentle, but it sounded just as tired as the younger girl’s. Y/n didn’t say anything as she sat in disbelief. The three sat in silence for the next few minutes until it was time for y/n to be discharged. She signed off on some documents and then the three were off. They decided to head back to the hotel first before meeting the others at the studio, wanting to change and all that since they’d all spent the night at the hospital in their pajamas.

Y/n decided to stay back and get some more rest, finally giving in to her exhaustion. While they were glad she was taking their advice, Ling and Kirsten once again couldn’t help but feel their hearts hurt for their youngest members. It was always hard seeing each other go through tough times, but it usually never lasted this long or became this severe. It felt like there was nothing they could do to help her.

The youngest jam republic dancer napped and rested for about five hours after she had made her return to their hotel. After waking up she showered and got dressed and decided to head down to the studio. When y/n arrived she waved and greeted everyone politely with a gentle smile, shocking everyone at her appearance.

“I thought you weren’t coming today- you said you were gonna rest.” Kirsten separated herself from the group after telling them to keep practicing

“I did rest- but I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing… even if I don’t feel well I should still come and watch to make sure I’m not missing anything” y/n defended her case to the best of her ability, but Kirsten was always right

“No, if you don’t feel well you need to be resting and taking care of your body AND your brain” the leader retorted, teasingly poking the younger girl’s forehead at the end of her sentence to make a point. Y/n cracked the tiniest smile and even though it was barely there Kirsten was proud of herself for at least being able to do that much.

Y/n sat at the front and watched the practice for the remainder of the time, taking notes on everything she saw whether it be strengths or weaknesses, new ideas, or things she felt needed to be changed entirely. The girl was surprisingly calm and didn’t feel any stress while she was observing. That’s pretty much how the rest of that week’s practices went for Y/n until the last three days before filming. She had been begging Kirsten to allow her to get back to dancing and the leader actually almost caved a few times, desperate to perfect the routine, but still stayed strong and insisted she rested.

____________

It had been a week since the two had spoken. By now all the choreography was finished being created, taught, and perfected. The videos were all shot and edited and it was finally the day where all seven teams would present their work to everyone else and the judges. The day when another two crews would be put up for elimination, and once would go home.

Everyone entered the arena one by one, each team taking their designated seat. It was always mindlessly interesting in these situations, where they’d all gather to watch something but not dance because the fashion choices were truly a show of each dancer’s honest character. Y/n looked as elegant as usual with her red, black, and ivory ensemble. She was doing surprisingly well at the moment, having more of an icy glare rather than the empty eyes of depression that had taken over her the last week or so.

Y/n was doing surprisingly well until she wasn't. Jam Republic is seated by the time team Bebe passes by. y/n feels her heart rate pick up as they approach, all of them glancing at her, some glaring, but their leader acted as if she didn't even see the girl and walked right past them with an icy stare.

“Oh, now that’s just fucking mean” Ling scoffed and stared down the team as they took their seats. Everyone was obviously feeling on edge and very nervous about the results, but y/n still looked quite ill. She had recovered for the most part, but she suddenly felt like throwing up again at the interaction with Bebe. She's still so distraught from the fight with Bada a couple of days before, and now the youngest dancer is scared shitless that both of their teams are going to be up for elimination. As much as she wants to avoid the older girl right now, y/n wouldn't be able to live with herself if Bebe got sent home today…

y/n took a sharp breath, biting her lip trying to push back the sudden sting of tears already feeling the anxiety begin to gnaw away at her. Lusher noticed this right as the team took their seats and spoke over her shoulder to their leader.

"you can't keep ignoring her…" the younger prompted after seeing the way Bada pretended y/n didn't exist when they passed by

"excuse me? Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?" the leader coldly responded, eyeing the girl up and down. Tatter felt a shiver run down her spine at the interaction, already worried about the integrity of her team considering the rest of their practice time felt like a waste as well. She just sighed and tilted her head out of stress.

After the fight between Bada and Y/n happened, and they both went their separate ways alongside their teams, team Bebe began to fall apart. Bada read through the countless criticisms their routine had gotten and didn’t even know where to start. The stress was eating her alive and she tried her best not to let it show. Normally when things got bad, the Bebe leader would talk about it with Y/n, but that obviously wasn’t a possibility right now, which made everything so much worse.

Practices became unbearable due to how irritable the leader had become, often losing patience easily when things didn’t work out how they were supposed to. Any time they’d go on break Bada would sit and rewatch whatever footage had been taken or reread the notes to see what was going wrong. The other six Bebe members sat off to the side getting water, all observing their oldest with immense concern. She still hadn’t opened up about the situation to them, honestly feeling too embarrassed, even though she knew they heard the entire thing. The guilt of it all was eating away at Bada and she didn’t want to admit that.

“She’s gonna have to share the burden with us at some point” Lusher sighed and pushed herself up off the floor, sauntering over to their crew leader and popping a squat next to her

“You haven’t had any water today…” the sub-leader observed while glancing at the taller girl

“You’re seriously keeping track of whether I do or don’t drink water?” it was supposed to come out in a joking manner, but Bada was serious, the sentence coming out flat and irritated. She didn’t look up from the sheets of paper she was looking over when she responded as well, completely focused on fixing the issue that she couldn’t seem to understand.

“Yeah I am- because you’ve stopped taking care of yourself and you won’t let anyone help you” Lusher snapped back, causing Bada to finally look up and meet her harsh gaze. The younger dancer’s arms were crossed and her brows were furrowed, making her look more like a pouty child than an angry adult, but still Bada could feel the frustration radiating off of her. She sighed and stood up, tall stature looming over Lusher for a second before she stood as well.

“Talk to me… this isn’t gonna work if you take everything on yourself” the shorter once again encouraged her teammate to share her troubles. Bada sighed and the two stared at each other for a moment before Lusher turned her head slightly to call out for Tatter. The blonde came bounding over with a somewhat nervous look on her face

“What’s up?” she asked

“You think you’d be able to run things by yourself for a bit?” Lusher questioned in return, causing Bada to cock her head a little, not entirely fond of the idea. But the way the youngest director confidently responds makes her feel a little better about it. The other responds with a quick ‘great’ and a smile, before dragging Bada out of the practice room and slightly down the hall to one of the small dancer lounges.

“Alright- let’s hear it.” Lusher claps her hands together as she sits on the couch and crosses one leg over the other. The leader lets out an amused scoff and shakes her head. She sits down on the other side of the couch and leans on the armrest.

“I just feel stressed about the routine… we’re taking a big risk with what we’re doing and I can’t help but wonder if it’s the right approach…” Lusher eyed her suspiciously, not fully believing the leader

“So it has nothing to do with Y/n?” she tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, the leader huffing at the question

“Well of course it has plenty to do with Y/n- we didn’t exactly leave off on good terms the last time we talked… it’s just more unnecessary added stress that I need to stop thinking about and move past.” Bada finished her reasoning in a reserved manner, looking away from the girl next to her

“Woah- wait- you think that’s really something you should just ignore??” Lusher was genuinely shocked, not used to her leader being so avoidant. Maybe it was her way of trying to remain relaxed and cool, but the younger dancer could see how terribly the whole situation was affecting her friend, and it definitely wasn’t something to just be left alone.

“Well, I have better things to worry about right now than some childish dancer who clearly can’t control her emotions” the shorter girl scoffed completely unamused

“This is coming from the person who blew up on her just as easily- come on Bada, you’ve never been a hypocrite so don’t start now” She couldn’t help but laugh a little at how childish the leader was being without even realizing it

“So you’re taking her side now?” Bada looked pretty offended, telling the other dancer just how serious she was with her question. Lusher sighed deeply

“I’m not taking anyone’s side, but you both were really shitty to each other… neither of you should’ve said the things you said- but by you saying how immature and emotional she is, you’re pretty much saying it all about yourself because you two had the same energy going on…” she tried to explain calmly, which resulted in another immature response from the leader

“I was simply matching her energy-” Bada pouted as she talked, and Lusher usually would’ve found it cute if it were any other situation

“Right, which by your definition was childish and irrational…” the leader scoffed and looked away, playing with her sleeve. There were a few moments of silence

“You know she’s not doing well either…” the sub-leader spoke up after a while

“Yeah? And how would you know?” the taller girl mumbled, still not looking away from her sleeve, finding the loose string much more interesting than the conversation at this point

“Uhm, I asked her?” she posed it as a question, but it was meant in a sarcastic way, pointing out the obvious answer. Bada quickly snapped her head back up to finally look over at the younger girl

“Oh, so you’ve been talking to Y/n?” Lusher sighed again after seeing her friend’s irritated expression make a return

“Of course I have, she’s our friend- well she’s my friend, I don't know what she is to you” she responded softly and sincerely, yet mumbled the last part, causing the leader to scoff for probably the thirteenth time during this conversation

“C’mon Seoyoung, be serious right now- this isn’t the time for your silly little delusions-” Bada tried to joke slightly and steer her away from the door they were about to open

“No, you be serious Bada. you know damn well she’s more important to you than you’d like to admit. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were practically in love with her.” the older of the two let out a laugh of disbelief at her teammate’s (accurate) accusation

“In love? With y/n? That hilarious Lusher- really funny actually. I’d love to know where your brain comes up with things like that.” her tone was low and sarcastic, becoming mean and condescending, similar to how it was the last time she spoke with Y/n

“Oh don’t fucking talk to me like that- you’re not gonna treat me like I’m an idiot because I know you better than that. Stop putting your insecurities onto the people who care most about you when they’re trying to help Bada” The room went silent and the older stood straight up in her place, eyes softening at the callout. It was strange to hear Lusher talk to her like that, or even hear her talk like that at all. Sure, the girl teased her a lot, but the two had never gotten into a serious back-and-forth argument like this. Bada thought at that moment that maybe she really could be the problem, seeing as how no one else had been getting into screaming matches like she had recently.

“I just don’t understand why she couldn’t just talk to me…” Bada mumbled sadly burying her head in her arms

“Because she was stressed out and hurt… I mean- if my girlfriend voted to eliminate my group, I would be hurt too-” Lusher tried easing the mood with some light teasing

“Seoyoung…” the older girl dramatically glared at her, but both knew the look held no real malice

“Okay my bad- sorry, but you get the point.” she rushed out in turn

“I do, but she said she understood…” the leader once again drifted off, focus going elsewhere

“Okay, and? She can understand your reason and still be upset about it. Especially since there were other things that were probably weighing down on her… you have to remember, we weren’t the only ones who voted to eliminate Jam Republic… EVERYONE voted for them… and since they had already been facing setbacks from the moment they got to New Zealand she was probably struggling a lot-” Lusher tried to help her understand, but Bada wasn’t having it

“yeah, she was struggling but I was too- you didn’t see me taking it out on her did you?” she tried to retort, but was met with Lusher’s immediate response

“but you did take it out on her! Just not immediately…”

“Lusher you saw everything- you know how hard everything was for me-“ and it was true, lusher did see everything, just like she’s seeing it now. She witnessed one of her best friends completely lose her confidence and doubt all of her abilities while keeping it bottled up. But she was the only one who saw.

“Right, but she didn’t, Bada… How is she supposed to know that if you don’t tell her-”

“She didn’t tell me anything!” it felt like an argument was starting again. The older of the two truly not seeing the whole problem, or at least not recognizing her part in it

“Right, but you pushed her to talk about something she didn’t want to share with you- why? I don’t know- but that’s none of my business! YOU need to figure out what went wrong…” Lusher explained from the objective point of view

“I get that, but how is it fair for her to shut me out and then get bitchy with me, but when I do it in return that’s not okay?”

“Oh my god- Bada, it wasn’t okay for either of you to act that way! But your retaliating after pressuring y/n to talk about something she wasn’t ready to talk about seems like your own fault…you were so fucking mean to her Bada- like- the things you said were awful and absolutely not okay!” The younger of the two allowed her voice to increase, finally getting her point across. Lusher watched as Bada’s face softened again, feeling like she finally got through to her, even just a little bit.

“...I know” The older hung her head and covered her eyes, as Lusher sighed and sat down next to her, leaning her head on Bada’s shoulder.

“I know she treated you badly too, what she said wasn’t okay either- but it wasn’t charged like yours was” Bada scoffed and wiped her tears that she didn’t even realize had fallen

“yeah, and how do you know?” she shifted slightly to glance down at the younger girl, but Lusher just kept staring off into the space ahead of them

“Well- maybe at first it was a little bit… but at some point, she had already given up on fighting and just wanted to get out of there… believe me, Bada, she knows how bad she fucked up too…”

That week had been just as terrible for Team Bebe as it had been for Jam Republic. The last day before filming they ended up making drastic changes to really sell the concept, causing everyone to be exhausted the next day, but luckily they were all able to hold off until after filming had finished.

The team now sat in their designated area, everyone carrying a very negative intimidating intense energy, except Lusher who was just exhausted from still having to play the mediator at this point. After all teams have settled in and the production staff is ready to go, Kang Daniel begins recapping the mission for the audience members and announces the first concept shortly after. Deep n Dap’s video was shown first.

Y/n felt another wave of depression rush over her as she watched the video. It was so well organized and put together, and hearing how loud everyone else was cheering for the green team made her feel nauseous all over again. Yet the young dancer was able to preserve her face and not let her anxiety show, although she didn’t make a single sound or expression for the entire video. Once Deep n Dap’s score was revealed the entire team of Jam Republic began to get nervous seeing how high all three directors had scored.

Shortly after, it was Jam Republic’s turn. Kirsten had been asked about their rehearsal process and was only able to get a few words out before she started tearing up. The leader finally showed her tears, and Y/n hung her head holding her breath knowing she'd cry too if she didn't. When the score for Jam Republic’s leader was shown, y/n felt herself genuinely smile for the first time in three days.

Once the video started and everyone was cheering, y/n felt herself start to lighten up a little- but was also still frustrated at the circumstances- seeing as they all had no faith in Jam Republic and now here they are cheering for them. Witnessing how well the video turned out after all their trials and efforts, and how much everyone loved the individual parts really made Y/n feel so much better. It shocked everyone slightly that y/n wasn't showcased or highlighted at all, but they had no problem pointing her out since she still stood out due to her energy.

“Oh- Y/n didn’t have any highlights?” Redlic commented as the applause died down

“I guess they weren’t able to give her something with all the idea changes…” To be completely honest, Y/n didn’t want a highlight. When the crew began reworking their choreography and it came to the segment that had featured the youngest dancer, Y/n told Latrice to cut it. She was still not allowed to practice at the time and felt it was unfair to the other dancers and her team.

It actually made Bada feel really bad about herself- because, for the first time since meeting the girl, she was glad y/n wasn't in the spotlight. When the leader realized she was thinking this way it made her feel even worse about the situation, knowing how hard this all was on the younger girl, and she did nothing but make that worse for her. She felt conflicted the entire time watching the video- while she was mostly glad she didn’t have to watch Y/n be in the center of attention and was able to avoid accidentally reacting to how pretty she was; Bada was also annoyed that she wasn’t showcasing her talents like she normally did. Knowing how skilled the young dancer was, her presence alone probably would’ve guaranteed Jam Republic a win, so what reason was there for her not to be given her own part?

The other two scores were revealed and the team felt immense pride. However, any relief Y/n was feeling was ripped away just as quickly as it arrived. Daniel announced the 100-point deduction from Kirsten’s score due to them failing to meet the minimum amount of required dancers and y/n felt her stomach drop. The gasp she let out was followed by tears although she managed to push them back- she truly thought she was going to be sick. Y/n had to physically cover her mouth, to avoid letting out a sob or to stop herself from throwing up? She doesn’t even know. This poor girl is literally internally losing her shit and having a mental breakdown over the fact that they could lose to deep n dap.

Moments pass as Daniel re-explains the extra concept points that would be rewarded to the crew that executed the outdoor concept better according to the judges. When it was revealed that Jam Republic won the points Y/n burst into tears and covered her face with both hands as her shoulders shook with sobs.

“Ahhh the baby” Amy whined in sympathy, pouting along with Redy and Lia

“She must’ve been so stressed” Waackxy pouted as she and her teammates nodded

“DON’T CRYYYYYY” Lusher was the only one from Bebe to shout out to her, the others kind of just side-eyeing her

“What? She still deserves comfort… she’s not a bad person, she just did a not good thing… I wouldn’t even call it a bad thing” The sub-leader sternly eyed up her teammates, then her leader, already tired of how they were acting.

"she cries too much" Bada was mumbling to herself but made sure to say it loud enough for the girl in front of her to hear. Lusher whipped around and pursed her lips, her nostrils flaring as she forced herself to take deep breaths

"For someone who got into an argument over immaturity, you're acting really childish." the younger of the two whispered calmly, but everyone could feel the rage simmering in her. She turned back around and her face immediately reverted back to one of pride for the pink team.

“Y/n, you were extremely ill during the second half of the rehearsal process-” Bada tilted her head, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and concern at Daniel’s words. She was sick? Is she okay now?

“How do you feel that impacted your overall performance?” the host questioned after Kirsten and Emma had finished giving their speeches. The youngest member sniffed and wiped her tears as she was handed the microphone, taking a deep breath before speaking

“Well…” she sighed and felt more tears coming

“It was extremely difficult for me personally, obviously… but I couldn’t help but feel like a burden to my team…” the youngest member let out a sob as she tried to finish her sentence. Audrey rubbed her back, comforting her friend.

“So I did my best to attentively take notes and help where I could, while actively reviewing the choreography until I was well enough to perfect it on my own…” Y/n was able to finish more stably after taking a few deep breaths and calming herself down. Daniel nodded and smiled sympathetically before thanking her and moving on.

“Wow… she taught herself everything in her own time and practiced it less than the others… and still looked that good???” NOB cocked her head, genuinely stunned by how dedicated and talented the youngest Jam Republic member was.

After 1 Million and Mannequeen’s videos were both shown and scores were revealed, announcing that 1 Million had taken the win, it was time to move on to the all-gender concept groups. Lady Bounce’s video was shown first, and they scored extremely well, seeing as it was well executed and had a lot of energy. The team had received a generally positive reaction during interim checks and also finished off strong with positive feedback from the judges. Both Bebe's and Y/n’s nerves were beginning to rise.

When it came time for Bebe’s video to play, everyone was interested to see what the team did with the feedback. Since Jam Republic was seemingly able to come back from near-elimination, the other crews were curious to see if Bebe would be able to do the same, or if they would simply take the other team’s place as the least impressive performance.

Right off the bat, Y/n was already distraught. The amount of partner work really threw her for a loop because it wasn’t like that before… and she literally thought she was gonna burst into tears again. She knew it was obviously just acting, but the young dancer still hated it and lowkey felt like it was a punishment, even though it clearly wasn’t.

The entire time, she watched with a heavy heart. It was so good and she couldn’t even tell anyone how proud she was of them, especially Bada, so Y/n just there and silently let tears roll down her face the whole time. Her eyes were on Bada as soon as it ended. She of course didn’t look her way, but y/n continued to clap as hard as she could, knowing if she were to open her mouth and cheer she’d probably let out a sob

“It was just really good… I’m glad it turned out so well” she said wiping her tears and putting on a very fake smile trying her hardest to look happy and not utterly heartbroken, knowing how the camera picked up every reaction. Audrey once again patted her friend’s back and gave her a sympathetic smile. When Bebe’s score was shown everyone was shocked to see that it was lower than Lady Bounce’s- not by a ton, but still lower. Y/n felt her heart rate start to pick up, getting nervous at the thought of Bebe losing the whole challenge and ending in the elimination battle.

Bada started her speech well but only got about two words in before feeling a surge of emotions. She quickly recognized the hard work of her team and spoke on how she would continue to improve and grow as a director, before affirming it all with a nod and handing the microphone back over. Wolf’Lo’s performance followed, and Y/n wasn’t shocked at all when she continued to be unimpressed by the group’s work. However, despite her exhaustion and anxiety, the youngest Jam Republic member was still able to pull out an expressive reaction to the orange team scoring higher than Bebe.

“That’s fucking ridiculous…” Y/n glared at the screen, unable to hide her distaste. Emma snorted at the girl’s reaction

“Good to see you haven’t lost your judgment” the older girl teasingly smirked at her teammate who just smiled lightly and shook her head. Daniel moves on to announcing which of the three teams received the bonus points for executing their concept the best. Ladybounce took the win and y/n began to panic more seeing that Bebe came in last out of the three. When they showed the current rankings based on judges' scores, she was relieved Jam Republic wasn’t at risk for elimination, seeing Bebe in sixth place had her head spinning. She was really hoping the audience votes would keep her safe and boost Bebe in the ranks as well.

The host began announcing the final ranks for the mission, after adding in audience votes and views. 1 Million placed first, not surprising anyone, since their performance was practically flawless. Jam Republic was called for second place and all six of the members felt the tension leave their bodies, even though their safety was guaranteed by their win. Audrey put her arm around y/n and the girl was able to smile a little bit more at their victory, still not completely present in the moment due to how much of a nervous wreck she was for Bada and her team. Now that Y/n knew she was one hundred percent safe, she should’ve felt relieved, but no such feeling came.

While the other members debated who tied with Mannequeen for third between Ladybounce and Bebe, y/n just continued to lay with her head on Audrey’s shoulder, totally zoned out. Ladybounce won and the youngest jam member tensed up while applauding, not moving from her teammate's shoulder. When Bebe is announced as fifth it takes y/n a second to come out of her daze, and when she does she sits straight up and feels tears sting her eyes again. She’s able to hold them back as she applauds, finally feeling genuine relief knowing that the team is safe.

Bada was handed the mic to give her speech, and much like everyone else who had held the microphone at one point today, she began to tear up. Of course, all the natural stress and anxiety of the challenge and competition as a whole had gotten to her, but everything had hit so much harder since she wasn’t able to share any of it with Y/n. The leader felt tears rush faster, no matter how hard she tried to keep them back. After taking a few deep breaths and racing some encouraging pats on the back from her team, Bada was able to speak up

“I’m glad we always scored well in previous missions, but it was a lot of pressure going into this knowing how high the standards were for us…” the tall leader started off

“It’s really all thanks to the members for keeping things going while i wasn’t at my best, so thank you. We’ll continue to keep showing great performances.” Bada finished with a firm not and grateful smile, evoking applause from the other teams. Deep n Dap and Wolf’Lo place in sixth and seventh by default, meaning they are the two teams up for elimination. Daniel announces that both teams are free to go prepare for the battles now and everyone disperses, heading back to their individual hideouts. Jam Republic is one of the last groups to head up to their room, along with Mannequeen, seeing as the two were hyping each other’s videos up.

“Oh shit- I think I left my phone down there…” Y/n sighed in annoyance after feeling around for her phone and not finding it

“Do you want me to come with you to check?” Emma offered, but the younger just shook her head

“No, it’s okay. I’ll meet you guys back in the room” she replied and the others nodded, then they both parted ways. Y/n went back down to the fight zone area, looking around Jam Republic’s seating for her phone, finally finding it next to the bleachers. As she heads back up and begins going down the hall, someone rounds the corner nearly bumping into her.

“Oh- I’m sorry” Y/n meekly whispers at the taller blonde, who at first was glaring down at her, but softened her gaze once she realized how terrible the girl looked. Even under all the stage makeup she had on, Y/n’s eyes were slightly sunken in and didn’t hold the same sparkle they usually did

“It’s fine…” Tatter somewhat dryly responded. Neither of them moved, both simply staring at each other for moments. The older of the two felt the urge to at least create some small talk between them, also harboring some guilty feelings for being cold toward the Jam Republic member.

“How have you been?” she crosses her arms and tries to sound relaxed, not wanting the other girl to feel uncomfortable. Y/n didn’t really know what to say, as she stood stuttering for a few moments, debating whether or not to answer truthfully

“well… I’ve definitely been better” is ultimately what she decides to say. Tatter frowns and her shoulders slump as she sighs

“I’m sorry…” y/n gives her a tight-lipped smile in return, hoping that would be the end, as the whole thing felt incredibly awkward. Yet the older sighed again and continued

“I’m actually sorry for some other things too… I’m sorry for not reaching out to check on you and for being so bitchy. I just saw how distraught Bada was after the whole situation between you two, and I didn’t even stop for a moment to think you could be doing worse… so I’m really sorry y/n” Tatter gently explained with genuine sorrow in her eyes. The other dancer was touched by the apology and a bit taken aback as well

“Thank you Tatter… I really appreciate it. These last few days have been miserable, especially since fighting with Bada… I understand you guys not wanting to talk to me or other things like that because I said some pretty terrible things-” the blonde cut her off with a scoff of a laugh

“Yeah well, you definitely weren’t the only one… I’d even argue that what Bada said was much worse” she strongly retorted, causing the younger girl to sigh and look down

“I know… but I kinda deserved it” Y/n quietly replied feeling her throat begin to close up at the memory

“Not really… I mean sure- you were being an annoying brat, and maybe a tiny bit selfish in the moment, definitely petty-” the other girl calmly argued

“Okay Tatter, was there a point you were trying to make?” the blonde laughed at her friend’s sarcasm, glad to see the slightest smile on the girl’s face, making it known that she wasn’t taking any of it personally

“What I’m trying to say is that even though you were having a rough moment, how Bada dealt with it was absolutely not the right way to go about it. Of course, you were both at fault, but she took it too far.” Tatter finished seriously with a small shake of her head. There was another moment of silence before she began speaking again, shifting the topic slightly

“I bet dealing with this didn’t make it any easier for you to get better, huh?” the older asked in regard to Y/n getting sick and having to continue working on the mission while trying to recover

“No, I actually think it’s part of the reason I got so sick… because I was so stressed out over everything already and that was like- my final straw” The two laughed softly at Y/n’s slightly dramatic statement. Tatter pouts playfully, yet feels genuine heartache for her two friends.

“Things will get better, believe me… she misses you, she’s just so fucking stubborn” Tatter grimaced at the thought of her hard-headed leader and how she’s currently refusing to accept her guilt, causing the tiniest saddest smile to show on y/n’s face.

“I should probably get back to my group now…” the younger softly commented looking down somewhat sadly at her shoes. Tatter hugged her without hesitation and felt Y/n tense up at first, but the short girl quickly relaxed and wrapped her arms around the other in return. They said their goodbyes and right as the blonde watched Y/n turn the corner, she felt a tap on her shoulder and whipped around to see her own teammate.

“what took you so long?” Lusher questioned staring down at the still-empty water bottle the girl said she was going to fill up about 15 minutes ago. Tatter hesitated for a second before deciding it was better to just be honest

“...I was talking to Y/n” she watched as her older teammate’s eyes lit up slightly

“Oh? About?” Lusher curiously and somewhat suspiciously inquired, hoping it would be something good and not about how Tatter decided to beat the shit out of the other girl

“Nothing really, just checking in on her…” the two continued their conversation as they finally began heading back towards their hideout

“Oh, so you’re finally done glaring at her? Good!” the blonde laughed rolling her eyes at the older girl’s sarcasm

“Yeah… I apologized for being bitchy and then we talked a bit about how stressed she was and how it didn’t help when she got sick…” Lusher visibly relaxed at the younger dancer's truthful retelling of the conversation, feeling a bit more at peace knowing she wasn’t alone anymore in the “getting Bada to stop hating Y/n” battle

“I still can’t believe she got so worked up and stressed that she ended up in the hospital” Lusher nonchalantly replied, stopping Tatter in her tracks

“What??” the blonde exasperated, stuck a few steps behind behind the older dancer. Lusher looked around, confused for a moment until she remembered that she was the only one who knew

“Oh yeah, Y/n wound up in the hospital almost as soon as they got back to New Zealand. The doctors said she was so overworked and anxious that it was making her physically ill- that’s why she wasn’t allowed to practice or even be in the rehearsal space at time” Lusher briefly explained the whole situation to her teammate, who stood there with her jaw dropped

“How did you even find this out??” Tatter questioned, still baffled. Lusher’s face went from calm to somewhat guilty for a second

“Well… I had been trying to get in contact with Y/n to see how she was doing, but she wasn’t responding to any of my calls or texts. So I texted Latrice and she explained what was going on, and also made me aware that by texting her, I was lowkey stressing Y/n out more…” she finished with an embarrassed smile, knowing that she and Y/n were okay now and that she didn’t have to feel guilty about it anymore. Tatter scoffed in amusement, shaking her head as they both finally entered their team’s room.

“It took you two long enough!”

____________

After everyone had been given a break while Deep n Dap and Wolf’Lo prepared for their elimination battles, they all gathered in the arena for the show. The bright lights and cheers from the audience amped up the energy and had all the other teams extra hyped.

The first battle was the “hidden battle”, where both teams went head to head as a whole group. Y/n wasn’t expecting more than what she’d usually seen from both groups, but it’s safe to say she was blown away by Deep n Dap’s performance. The song choice and usage of nunchucks really had her getting hyped up, and her normal, energetic self slowly coming back.

The battle to follow was between Chocol and Locker Zee. The young Jam Republic member was fired up, which meant some interesting comments were bound to leave her mouth before passing through her brain

“Bruh it’s so annoying how they’re suddenly so good… like- they were good before but this is AMAZING…” Her entire team side-eyed her, Kirsten and Latrice worried about the show airing what she just said, fearing she could get canceled; the other half trying not to laugh but internally agreed. When the third battle is about to begin and mini walks out and takes off her over shirt showing off her pink jersey, y/n gets excited and points with a smile, since the two are both pink lovers, of course causing her team to smile at her in endearment. When JJ walks out and does the same, y/n starts dying laughing, clapping her hands in amusement along with the rest of her crew. Once the battle starts Mini is the first to dance

“She’s like- actually scary” Y/n jokes around and hides behind Audrey, who laughs and continues to smile just because she’s happy her friend is able to joke around again. The fourth battle was the 5 on 5 and y/n was beginning to get tired of how good both teams were. It felt like things were never going to end, and she was honestly thinking neither team deserved to go home at this point. The fifth battle was another one-on-one with Baby Sleek and Locker Zee, which resulted in another win for Wolf’Lo, bringing the score to 3:2 in favor of Wolf’Lo.

For once, Y/n actually found herself rooting for Deep n Dap, probably because she couldn’t stand Wolf’Lo just as much, or possibly even worse. The sixth battle began, and it was between a duo from each team. Yeni Cho and Haechi came out for the orange team, while JJ and Locker Zee both came out for the green team. Y/n was once again bored by the older team’s presentation, genuinely excited to see what the Deep n Dap duo was about to whip up.

When their music started and everyone recognized it was Michael Jackson, the energy in the room somehow increased even more. JJ and Locker Zee put on a flawless performance, executing each hit and accent perfectly, making sure to connect with each other and the audience.

“BRO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?????” “I DON’T KNOW BUT I NEED MORE OF IT” Audrey and Y/n are literally losing their shit while watching the performance, absolutely obsessed with the duo, hoping to see more of them in the future. As JJ and Locker Zee took the win, it tied up the score once again, bringing them to the final round, which ended up being between the two leaders. This was a battle Y/n was extremely curious about, already not a fan of Halo’s specific style and also aware of Mina Myoung’s incapability to freestyle. But when the music started, she was pleasantly surprised

“WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS SHE EATING?????” Y/n is so baffled by Mina Myoung’s sudden ability to freestyle efficiently. Y/n stood there, fully back to her normal self (at least for the time being) holding onto her hair with her jaw dropped. To her, the improvement (call it that or desperation) was sickening- it was such a pleasant change that Y/n felt Mina deserved the win just for that alone.

However, the win goes to Halo, giving Wolf’Lo the overall gain of staying in the competition, meaning Deep n Dap was the next team to be eliminated. It’s a bit hard to watch, knowing they truly did try their best. Y/n was doing surprisingly well with not crying- well… until Mina started talking. The leader began her speech and the Jam Republic member was able to avoid tears until Mina brought up how she felt she was able to move on from 1 Million. After that, it was like the floodgates opened up. Don’t ask her why, but Y/n took that shit personally, like a shot straight to the heart. Especially when the Deep n Dap leader mentioned her relationship with Lia Kim, y/n felt her ache for them.

As all teams say their goodbyes to Deep and Dap and said team leaves the studio, filming ends for the day. Everyone is either standing around mingling or heading back to their own hideouts. Jam Republic continues their conversation with Mannequeen when Lusher comes bounding over and wraps her arms around y/n congratulating her, nearly scaring the life out of the small girl. When the younger turns around to see who it is, she once again bursts into tears and clings to her. Lusher feels her heart break even more for her friend yet can’t help but giggle softly at how cute the reaction was. Poor y/n was so scared that Lusher hated her too and it brought her the slightest bit of relief knowing that she didn't

Bada watched from where the rest of team Bebe sat in their designated spot, not even trying to hide her irritation at the situation. She was feeling a mix of annoyance (at both y/n and lusher) and watching the interaction once again sent a wave of guilt rushing through her.

"Ya know you can go congratulate her too…" Tatter spoke up from behind the leader. Bada looked over her shoulder at the blonde and scoffed, but it held no malice- she just sounded exhausted

"And why would I go do that?" the team leader looks over her shoulder with a cold stare and a slight look of disgust at the idea

"well for starters so you can stop getting into arguments with your own teammates-" She did have a point… Bada had been much more irritable since the argument, causing a lot of their practice time to be even more strictly ran

"and two, so you can stop making both her and yourself miserable" Ouch Tatter. Ouch.

“Weren’t you just glaring at her too when we walked in?” Bada rolled her eyes and pouted childishly crossing her arms, causing the other girl to snort and respond

“Yeah, but I talked to her in the hallway… she was in the hospital you know-” Tatter responded as if it were common knowledge or a quick throwaway fact about the girl

“What???” the leader��s eyes widened and she uncrossed her arms leaning forward to make sure she heard the girl correctly

“Yeah… got so worked up and anxious over everything she made herself sick apparently” Tatter shrugged, not having all the proper information. Bada sighed and rolled her eyes

“Seriously? Where‘d you even hear this from?” she pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, now fully recognizing and admitting to the guilt she’d been suppressing. Tatter hesitated for a second, debating whether or not to mention her small conversation with the girl they were talking about, ultimately deciding not to.

“Lusher” the blonde gave away her source matter-of-factly. Of course, she heard it from Lusher. Bada was beginning to think if she hadn’t made a move on Y/n first, Lusher would’ve easily swooped in and done so. But now that she and Y/n were fighting, did that mean Bada could potentially lose her to the other girl? Lusher was attentive and understanding, closer to Y/n’s age, and had been the first of team Bebe to interact with Y/n… plus she had been in contact with her after the whole incident. The leader tried not to worry about the irrational possibility of her own teammate stealing the girl she was pining after away from her… but it was still a lingering thought nonetheless.

notes: i needed this chapter to be as long as it was just so you guys didn't have to suffer as much in the next chapter🫶

taglist (open) (continued in replies): @tinybada @angel-hyuckie @violetinferno @jesuschrist2006 @1luvkarina @uwulyn @justandloyal2961 @deadgirlwalking3 @squidvoldyvoid @vivzyo @ouhaika @jksjx @ocyeanicc @marianamartinsthings @jxrdxnh @luvjanexx @lorenztired @khjssss @heavenlycloud @loisje123 @starchasermyloves @zhivaxo @grinnwolph @notyourd0lly @stinkbvgs @nermandiiiii-blog @arujee @idontknownemore @thatgayinsomniac @fruitr0llup @cgriffin9797-blog @woooooya @kaaylvst @ssc7514 @astoreea @linda-botello @kpopgirl-97 @erikook @misszoldyc @sammisregrets @jysai @moonsvrse @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @aestrelle19 @laaaasanielzz @randomhoex @tswisal1 @unpretty-reader @charlesswife @stella222

#moth to a flame #street woman fighter 2 #bada lee #bada lee x reader #street woman fighter x reader #bada x reader

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byunpum · 1 year ago

Text

Ghost girl | part 2

Pairing: Neteyam x Albino na'vi!fem x Sully family

Warning: All the characters are aged up 20’s, injured, neytiri being the mom we all need, teyam is a shy babygurl, soft & crush moments.

Note:I am taking this story as I am feeling it. I don't have an ending written, so I'm going to let it all just flow. I hope you like this chapter. You know that all opinions are welcome. BTW… I'll keep answering requests. I have a lot of them in my inbox, so please be patient. <3 Thank you for helping me in the last post.

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5(final)

1 year ago…

"Auyat, I must accept my destiny, it's the right thing to do" you speak, adjusting a few pieces of your hair. "But…you don't love him" the girl is sitting weaving a berry basket. Berry picking season was approaching. "You're right, I don't love him…but I don't plan to disobey my father" you look at your friend, who is looking at you with a raised eyebrow. You let go of what you're doing… and settle closer to your friend's side. "I have no choice, it's the right way, you know Dad wants the lineage to continue…and according to him, Seyey is the perfect man for me" your voice sounds almost lazy, as you feel your friend stroking your hair. "So what happened about that dream…about the boy?" she asks you.

You laugh a little, remembering the vision you had had months ago. The dream was simple…a bright lake, in front of you was a man. You could recognize some of his features…but you couldn't see his whole face. You could feel more the sensation of being with him. He was holding your hand, and you could feel the love he felt for you. How you laughed, and spent time together, until you woke up quickly…damn, you were in love with a dream.

"That's just a dream!!!" you laugh, pulling away from her. "It's a vision…lately your talents are at their peak" she is excited, getting up to spin around. You both laugh, she was cheerful and awkward…but she was your best friend. Almost your sister. The girl sits down smack next to you, hugging you. "You know I'll always be here for you…no matter what you choose" your friend speaks, as you turn to look at her. "Me too…me too" returning the hug. You feel the hug grow colder, turning to look at your friend. Noticing her body fade over your hands…until there is nothing left. There is nothing left of her.

You open your eyes suddenly, where were you? What had happened? The last thing you remember is the face of that woman…your baby!!!. Where the hell is your baby? You sit up suddenly, but the pain in your leg reminds you of the reason why you had fainted. You get more comfortable on the sheets you were lying on. And you start to look at the bands on your body. It was different from what you had seen before, 'new medicine' you think. You also notice how much warmer it was than in your village. Everything was dry, and hot. This was not good for you… your body was used to the cold temperatures. Looking at the decorations that adorned the hut, you laugh a little. Somehow it reminded you of your mother. You see how the curtains of the hut open, and by instinct you try to wrap your body. But the pain gets the better of you and you let out a moan.

"Oh…you're awake," says mo'at. Carefully approaching, seeing how you had your ears pinned to your head, and your eyes dilated. "Wow…you sure have a lot of hair" mo'at reaches over and strokes the side of your hair a little. The snow na'vi were very different, not only because of their skin. But because of their physical appearance, white and abundant hair. Perfect to protect them from the dangerous cold. His eyes were brown, perfect for camouflage among the cold trees. Besides, everyone knows that brown is the color of choice for the cold seasons. "Where is my baby… I" you start to speak, but you see how the woman hands you a container, which contained a liquid. "He is with my daughter…the woman who rescued you, he is safe" she speaks, watching as your body relaxes a little. "But he is not hurt?" you ask, mo'at shakes her head. Trying to calm you down. "You need to take that drink…it will help you stay strong" mo'at says. You are looking at the drink, as you begin to sip it a little at a time. "The best thing would be for you to rest…your son is in good hands." Mo'at speaks.

The truth is that you were still tired, and having a baby in your care while feeling so tired was not recommended, and something inside you told you that he was in good hands. After taking your drink, you lay down on your side. Mo'at watches you, you were hugging your body in a ball position. You were heartbroken, it wasn't easy to be here… after all you had been through. Maybe you were the only survivor of your clan… you were alone. Mo'at, in a very motherly moment, kneels down next to you, places your hand in your hair. She says nothing, just feels you sigh, and can hear some whimpering. She settles down next to you, to comfort you. You had been through so much.

On the other side of the village, neytiri held the baby in her arms. She had spent day and night caring for him. She had to admit she was tired, jake was out hunting with lo'ak. Kiri was taking care of tuk, she was out for a walk with her sister. And she only had neteyam with her, her eldest son was helping her prepare the afternoon meal. "teyam…will you help me with something?" says neytiri, watching as her son gets up from the floor, and drops the pots he was holding. "What am I good at mother" neteyam comes to her side. Neytiri in a smooth but quick movement, stretches out her arms to hand the baby to neteyam. Clumsily he tries to hold him. "M-mama what," stammers neteyam. "I want to walk for a while…plus I'll go get what's missing for dinner" says neytiri, watching as neteyam takes the baby in his arms. Before the boy could protest, neytiri got up, grabbed a basket and hurried out of the family hut. She knew that neteyam would do a good job.

"And now what do I do with you…ahhh?" says neteyam, this was making him nervous. The last time he had held a baby in his arms was tuk, but he was still an infant. Now everything was strange… noticing how the baby moved his nose, and raised his little hands. He placed his hand, so that the baby would hold his finger. "Wow…you are small…and very white" neteyam laughs, now he was sitting on the floor. Stroking the baby's hair, nuzzling it more on his chest. "What would your name be?" neteyam touches the baby's nose, causing the baby to make a little vague smile on his little mouth. Neteyam felt herself growing tender, this baby was so tender and beautiful to his eyes. Lifting his arms, to give him a little kiss on his cheek. "You are precious!!!" neteyam speaks in a higher pitched voice.

After a while, about 1 hour or so. Neteyam had placed the baby in the small hammock his mother had made for him. While he was preparing some hunting tools, sharpening his knives and arrows. Until he hears the baby start to cry, he gets up and runs to the baby. Taking him in his arms. "Hey…what's wrong? Are you dirty?" says neteyam, examining if the baby had done any of its needs. The baby's clothes were strange, compared to the clothes of the omaticaya babies. This one was more covered, a type of cloth…that seemed to be the skin of some animal. "mmm are you clean…ahhh does anything hurt?" says neteyam, as he holds the baby in his arms, lifting him up to place his ears on the small stomach. "oh!!! You seem to be hungry" neteyam closes his eyes a little, when he hears how the baby starts to cry louder. "calm down!!!" neteyam tries to soothe him, but he doesn't even know what to feed him. I mean…this baby is supposed to be drinking breast milk. Taking some time to think, as he paces back and forth around the hut.

'Mo'at' thinks neteyam. His grandmother would help him, of course…he couldn't go to where the baby's mother was, because she was hurt. But his grandmother would help. He quickly leaves the hut, and makes his way to the mo'at hut. Entering, he sees that all is quiet. The baby had calmed down a bit, neteyam found that as long as he was moving the baby was quiet. Entering and examining the area. There was no one, until he saw a figure on one of the beds. It seemed to be a girl…and he knew immediately that you were the mother. Because it was very obvious, because of your skin and hair color. The boy approaches carefully, but a crying sound is heard throughout the hut. This causes you to wake up.

"What's going on?" you speak, carefully getting up. You still had your eyes half closed, as you tried to see what was happening. When you finally open your eyes, you see a man. Holding your baby, and your baby crying. "I'm sorry, I" neteyam speaks, but suddenly goes quiet. You both make eye contact for a couple of seconds, before you look down. "Is that my baby? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BABY?" you yell a little, raising your arms. Signaling, to hand him over to you. Neteyam without hesitation, rushes over. With his tail tucked between his legs, handing you the baby. Watching as you quickly embrace him. A smile comes across your face, as you sniff at your baby's hair. "Mama's here… now,now," you cuddle the baby. He is crying, but his fury has diminished as he hears and smells your scent.

"He's hungry…so I brought him with mo'at…I swear I didn't want to get you up" neteyam tries to apologize. But see how you are ignoring him, all your attention was now placed on your baby. He sits up, he wasn't too far away from you. But he was at the perfect distance to respect your space. He stays quiet, watching you cuddle your baby. Moving your top, to breastfeed your child. Giving him a little kiss on his forehead, "I think it was a woman who was taking care of my child" you look up, still annoyed. But you feel your breath catch, when you finally make eye contact with neteyam.

His eyes…his bright eyes. The shape of his nose…and how his hair fell to his shoulders. Your pupils dilate…it couldn't be him, it was almost impossible. Your gazes never leave each other's side, it seems as if the two of you have met at some point. You feel him so familiar…his gaze is so familiar. "Neteyam" you speak softly, noticing how the man's ears perk up. "Do we know each other?" neteyam asks, still making eye contact with you. You feel that same pressure in your chest that you felt when you had that…dream. "No…I don't think so" you speak, shifting your gaze. You hear a chuckle, neteyam was laughing to himself. "Sure…I've never seen anyone like you" neteyam's eyes scan your whole body. Then he looks at your face again.

"Yes" you felt a little embarrassed, out of nowhere you were embarrassed and you swear you were blushing. It couldn't be him…it could be something else. 'eywa stop doing your thing..no, no ,no ,no' you think. How could it be him, you don't even know him. "Hey are you okay?" neteyam asks, reaching over to touch your shoulder a little, but just before he touched you. You startle, pulling away a little. "Ohh sorry honey" you speak, the movement had knocked your baby off your boob. You try to get comfortable, but with the wraps and your clothes it was very difficult. Neteyam reaches over, and takes a piece of clothing that was covering your breast. Holding it up, so you could better fit your baby. "Thank you" you speak, seeing how he gives you a smile. "You're welcome…hey, why are you turning red?" asks Neteyam. And yes, you were turning very red.

The tips of your ears were red and your nose. So were your cheeks. You shake your head to the other side. "Ahhh it's nothing…I think it's the heat. It's VERY hot in here" you yell a little. Neteyam falls silent, you had surprised him. "Yeah…you're not used to this weather. My mother told us where you came from" you watch as he settles more in his seat. And gives the 'I see you' sign. "I know it must have been awful what you've been through… but you're welcome to this clan" speaks neteyam. Damn…he had to be so nice and kind. "Thank you I…" just as you were about to thank him, you hear someone enter the hut. It was three people to be more precise. Neytiri, Kiri and Mo'at. The three women are a bit surprised, when they see neteyam next to you and the baby.

"You were supposed to be taking care of him," says neytiri, approaching you. "Yes…he just got hungry. I came to see if grandma was here so she could help me…but look" neteyam points his arms at you. " His mom was awake" neteyam says. "You woke me up" you speak, seeing how neytiri gave him a dirty look. Neteyam curls into a ball, hugging his knees. Neytiri turns to look at you, smiling tenderly. "And how are you?" she asks, noticing how you cuddle your baby. "I'm fine…I wanted to thank you for not leaving me there, I'm thankful…. for everything" you speak, looking up to look at mo'at as well. Neytiri caresses your face. "You're welcome… I had to do it, I wouldn't have forgiven myself if something had happened to you" neytiri speaks, sitting down closer to your side.

"What's the baby's name?" asks Kiri, the girl is already in front of you. You are a little surprised, but you laugh. You lift the baby in your arms. "His name is herwì" you speak. Neytiri smiles a little, taking the baby's foot in her hands. "That is a beautiful name" kiri moves closer to the baby. Neytiri looks up, to see neteyam looking at you. The look seemed to be calm, while his tail wagged in fast taps. It could be curiosity, the woman thought. "Well…I see you met my oldest son…sorry I left the baby for him. I had to get things for dinner," neytiri says, apologizing to you. You wave your hands. "Don't worry he is" you give a quick glance at neteyam, who looks down at the floor when he notices that you caught him looking at you. "He's very funny" you speak. Kiri laughs, and taps neteyam. "Wow…someone says you're funny" kiri teases her brother. The latter rolls his eyes, turning to look at another spot in the hut.

After half an hour, everyone was still there in the hut. Neytiri was doing her best to make you feel comfortable in your new home. Because it was. Neytiri had a very long conversation with Jake, she wanted him to agree to let the girl stay in the clan. The only thing you were asking for was shelter, you had lost everything. Jake was quick to agree, first he couldn't say no to his mate. And second… he understood what you were going through AND he wasn't going to leave a young mother abandoned. This made Neytiri happy, she felt a responsibility to you. The only thing she was curious about was what had really happened…and where was your family? She didn't want to be disrespectful…but she was very curious.

Neteyam had moved closer to you, listening as you and Kiri talked. Kiri kept talking about how you were going to like everything in this clan. How she was going to help you. He was just giving you a few glances, praying you wouldn't notice he was looking at you every 4 seconds. At that, you hear some noises coming from the entrance of the hut. Some na'vi were carrying a man. You could see that his leg was very bad. All this noise made the baby get up and start crying. Mo'at got up and led the men to place the wounded man on one of the beds. Mo'at received the injured of the clan, took care of them. So this hut, it was almost like a hospital.

You try to calm the baby, but he was very upset. He wouldn't stop crying, he woke up scared. "May I?" asks neteyam, signaling for you to hand over the baby. You, without complaint, hand him the baby. Watching as he lays him on his chest and gets up. To now walk back and forth. You laugh, but you are surprised. "wow…look at that" says kiri, herwi had calmed down. Falling asleep on neteyam's chest. "neteyam, you have a talent with babies," says neytiri, laughing a little. She thought it was adorable to see her son, comforting the baby. Meanwhile neytiri had gotten up and was now walking towards her mother. Mo'ate was busy, helping the man. "mom… y/n is she better?" asks neytiri.

"Yes…but she needs help and supervision, in a week she will be as good as new" Mo'at speaks, still working. Neytiri takes another look, she saw how kiri and neteyam were already getting along with you. As if they had known you all their lives… you gave off such a beautiful vibe. She felt that this place was not right for a wounded mother and her baby to be. "There an empty hut?" mo'at looks at neytiri. "No…not at the moment" mo'at continues to treat the man. "Mother…I think it is right that I take y/n to rest in my hut. We will take care of her…besides this is not a safe place for a baby" says neytiri. "I find it fine…you just have to ask her" says mo'at, she was deep in her work, ignoring her daughter a bit. Neytiri gets up, and walks to your side.

You look up, watching as the woman sits down next to you. Placing her hand on your back. "Y/n…have a question" neytiri speaks, you give her your full attention. "mmm I was wondering…would you like to sleep in our hut?" neytiri speaks, this gets neteyam and kiri's attention. "yesssss say yes" kiri says, hugging your arm. Neteyam was still holding the baby in his arms. This question makes him a little anxious, he kept quiet waiting for your answer. "Ahh mmm I don't know, I don't want to disturb" you say. "No honey… it would be my pleasure. I want you to be more comfortable, besides…I think you want to be in a better place" says Neytiri. "You're right…I accept" you speak, watching as a smile forms on neytiri's face. You swear you almost started to cry…she was so much like your mom. You missed her so much.

Neytiri got up from the floor, ready to leave. "I think I'll need help" you look at your thigh, the wound was still very fresh. Neytiri analyzes the situation. "Neteyam…why don't you help me carry her" Neytiri orders. Neteyam hands the baby to her mother, approaching you. Kneeling down, "If you allow me…" says neteyam, bringing one of his hands to your waist. And another under your thigh. Lifting you carefully, in bridal mode. Out of instinct, and to keep your thigh from stretching so much. You bring your arms around neteyam's neck, you were afraid of falling and hurting yourself. Neteyam tightens his grip, and holds you tighter. Neteyam held you very close, your face was inches away from his. He swear he could smell the scent of pine and something sweet, he loved it. "Ok…we are ready" says Neteyam. Neytiri says goodbye to mo'at and they all leave the hut. Not if before hearing how mo'at shouted. "Be very careful with her…I will come later to give you all the medicines". Everyone in the group continues walking towards the family hut. Neytiri was happy…stroking the baby's tiny head. But the movement of her son's tail caught her attention, it was very fast. And it was up… Neytiri chuckled to herself.

That same night…

Arriving at the hut, neytiri set everything up. You couldn't stay in a hammock, so she set up a nice trundle bed. Perfect for you and the baby to be comfortable. "And as I was saying… the thanator are the most dangerous" lo'ak speaks, the boy had introduced himself the first minute he arrived at the hut. He had been impressed with you, asking why you were so white and why your hair was like that. Neytiri had to tap him to get him to calm down and not bother you. On the other hand, you felt very comfortable, seeing that they had received you so kindly. Meanwhile neteyam was sitting somewhere on the side of the hut, watching you.

"Ma jake… thank you for accepting" says neytiri, Jake and neytiri were outside the hut talking. "Ma neytiri..don't worry. You know I don't mind helping…that's what we're here for. Besides," jake glances inside the hut, "She gives off a good vibe," says Jake. Neytiri places a hand on his arm, somewhat excited. "Exactly…I thought I was the one who felt that" neytiri laughs a little. Jake just stood there for a moment, watching how all the young people were getting along so well. Lo'ak and you were talking, kiri and tuk were playing with the herwi, well kiri was holding the baby and tuk was showing him her new toys. Even though the baby didn't understand anything. Until he noticed how your ears were turning red and you looked a little uncomfortable. "The girl looks a little strange…I think there's something wrong with her" jake speaks, neytiri looks at you and notices the same thing. Entering the hut quickly.

"Y/n…are you ok?" neytiri asks, noticing the same thing jake saw. "Ahh yes" you speak, somewhat shyly. You didn't want to intrude, this family was completely welcoming you. The least you could do was complain. "You're getting a little red…are you sure?" says neytiri, coming towards you. "Well…I'm a little hot" you say. And of course you were hot. Your clothes were not the same as what they were wearing. While the sully family wore lighter clothing, you had a fur top that covered your breasts. And your loincloth was made of a strong, somewhat furry fabric. "Baby… I think your clothes are making you hot," Jake says, coming towards you. "I think so" you giggle a little. "Well…I think I have a few pieces of clothing that would fit you" says neytiri. You nod your head, accepting the woman's proposal.

Jake takes the men of the family with him, so that Neytiri will have more confidence to help you change. With the excuse that they would help him look for what was missing for the dinner. Neytiri looked for one of the clothes that she had kept, which were decorated with feathers and some precious stones. They matched the loincloth. Kiri and Neytiri help you, you couldn't move much. But this felt so comfortable…they were treating you like part of their family, and you barely knew them. Or so you thought…you swear you knew them, it was a feeling you couldn't understand. "thank you" you speak watching as neytiri adjusts the last knot of your loincloth. "It looks great on you…you look beautiful" says Kiri. You felt a little strange…but this relieved the heat. After a while, jake came in accompanied by his son. "oh, wow…you look better now" says jake, holding a basket full of cooked fish. Neteyam felt that now he was the one feeling hot, as he came in he saw you sitting there. Seeing you looking very beautiful in the clothes of his people.

He could notice how you give him a quick glance giving him a smile, making him change his. He quickly ran to where his father was to help him. "ok… family today we are going to eat near Y/N" says jake, motioning for everyone to settle around you. Everyone takes a seat around you. Grabbing the utensils they needed to start eating. Dinner was going very well, everyone was having a great time. But something was bothering neytiri, she wanted to know more about you. "Y/n…sorry to ask this…but could you tell us what happened…and where is your partner? Mo'at told us a little about your clan…but she couldn't say what happened" speaks jake, making neytiri turn around in surprise. "No…y/n you don't have to" neytiri tries to apologize.

"Don't worry…I'll tell you" you let go of the pot you were holding. "One year ago… they came to our village. The humans came saying they needed a mineral…that only grows in our lands. Dad refused, and you know what happened." You take a breath, seeing how everyone was giving you their full attention. "The attacks and landings became more frequent, until what I never thought would happen occurred…I had seen it in one of my visions. But I thought no…it wasn't possible. But they attacked with everything they had" your eyes began to fill with tears. "Dad stayed fighting, while my mother helped me get out of the village, she told me to come here. Everyone…there was no one left alive. The families, the children…everything. "You lower your face, as the tears came down. You feel someone hug you, and that was Neytiri. Holding you by the shoulders, so that you were closer to her.

There was a short silence, until someone begins to speak. "And your partner?" kiri asks. You raise your head, wiping your eyes a little. "He died in battle when I was three months pregnant" you speak, neytiri could sense a bit of coldness when you talk about your mate. This caused her another question, this was a forced pairing…that had to be it, neytiri thought to herself. "And about the visions…" lo'ak is so interested in your story, all of you seemed interesting to him. "ooh…I am a seer, well an apprentice…my skill is not fully developed, I am still very young. I have visions of people and future events, I myself don't understand what happens to me sometimes" you laugh a little. This made sense now, that's what mo'at was talking about.

"In our clan we are very close with eywa, much more so than all the other clans. Eywa guides us and speaks directly to us." You speak, this makes neytiri raise her ears and look at jake with fascination. "But…that's not possible" says neteyam, you look at him and laugh a little at him. "Well, yes… it's a calling. It's a unique feeling" you speak, looking now at kiri, who is watching you. Understanding every word. "Well…it's all very impressive…and I understand what you've been through" jake says, touching your shoulder. "I'm glad you found our clan…I promise you'll be safe" jake gives you a smile. Oh, you could feel that…he wasn't quite a full-blooded na'vi. He was a mixture, you almost saw jake's whole life up to this moment. You stay quiet, and smile back. You get annoyed with yourself, your ability to see events, it wasn't something you could control. Jake started talking about something else, he wanted to change the subject. He knew this was a difficult topic to talk about.

After dinner…everyone got ready for bed. You were settling your herwin next to you. You felt strange, but happy to have peace of mind. As you tucked your baby in, with a blanket. You saw neytiri come up to you. "Are you feeling all right? Don't you need anything?" neytiri asks you. You smile and let her know you are comfortable, watching her say goodbye to you. You stand there, looking at the home decor, numbering the differences. You had so much to learn… you were beginning to feel melancholy. "Hey" neteyam speaks, you turn to look at him. "Did something happen?" you ask, watching as he bends down on his knee. "I didn't introduce myself properly… my name is neteyam" the boy extends his hand to you, you timidly but confidently hold his hand. And you finally recognize him… it's him. He is the boy from the lagoon. Your heart races a million times, and again you feel yourself blushing.

"I'm Y/N" you say, seeing how her face is drawing a nice smile. "Thank you for trusting us…I hope you feel comfortable" speaks Neteyam. You barely speak, nodding your head 'yes'. Neteyam laughs, as he adjusts your hair a little. "Rest," says Neteyam, getting up from the floor. But not before stopping and looking at you. "And yes…I think we've met before" he laughs…and walks back to his hammock.

It couldn't be…it could be, it was him.

p.s: I tried to explain as much as I could in this part, but I think the Y/N story is more complicated and longer than I thought. I think it's better if I tell it little by little. Tell me what did you think about this part?

Teyam babygurls: symptoms-of-moonlight , tru-blubelle, mashiromochi, ducks118, butterfly-ibuki

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know and I will try to fix it as quickly as possible. tag list is open, just let me know *3*//

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