#they could have used 1 more season to wrap everything up

[allcirclesvanish]

last thought about this but 20k is so much lol. as far as fan community projects why not get some writers & artists on board to publish a zine or something? 20k seems to be the amount that really highly polished indepently published art books fundraise for when they're planning on releasing hardcover copies as well. just a thought because it seems like a better/more tangible benefit than an nyc billboard that has no chance whatsoever of sparing the show from cancellation.

[motorsportbarbie13]

Aftermath - Chapter 8

When Lando leaves you heartbroken after you get tired of trying to make something out of nothing for far too long, Max steps in to help you pick up the pieces.

warnings: lando makes an appearance in this one. abusive language used, including sexist name calling. pairing: max verstappen x leclercsister!reader word count: 3.9k words a note: here it is babies!!! the last one in this series. i know it's been different from what i usually write, but this has been so much fun. extra special thank you to @lestapiastrisgirl as usual for beta reading and holding my hand at 2am when i wake up struck by an idea hahaha <3

Aftermath - Chapter 1 Aftermath - Chapter 2 Aftermath - Chapter 3 Aftermath - Chapter 4 Aftermath - Chapter 5 Aftermath - Chapter 6Aftermath - Chapter 7 Master List

madmaxx1 posted

52 likes liked by ferrarisprince16, babyleclercpriv, jadebby, and others madmaxx1 pretty pretty girl ferrarisprince16 hey! so this is insane! >>>artiebartie yeah! stop thirsting over our sister >>>madmaxx1 never babyleclercpriv <3 jadebby god you two are so cute it's gross

missleclerc posted

missleclerc surprise! some new pieces are debuting at @/nessasgallery TONIGHT. I'll be there to discuss this new direction my art is going in along with what (and who) inspired me to try such a drastic new approach to painting. I hope you'll drop by and take a look, it would be lovely to see you! maxverstappen1 does this make me your muse??? >>>charlesleclerc hey! my car is up there right next to you! that means I'm a muse too! >>>missleclerc you two are ridiculous >>>user0298 uhhhhhhhh... user1029 ferrari and red bull without a mclaren in sight. iiiiiiinteresting >>>user1100 i think this is all the breakup confirmation we need user455 oh shes in LOVE LOVE with max >>>user444 oh this is so messy. i love it. give me 12 more seasons right now.

“If we don’t leave in the next ten minutes, we’re going to be late for your own event, pretty girl.” Max tuts at you from the doorway of your bedroom but there’s no bite behind his words. 

You glance up at him from your vanity where you’re sitting doing the last bits of your makeup. He looks heartbreakingly handsome in crisp white button-down underneath a tailored navy blue sport coat and matching slacks. His hair is combed neatly to the side, gelled into submission in a way that makes you want to rake your fingers through it just to muss it up. 

“I’m nearly ready, mister bossy pants.” You shoot back before switching off the light on the vanity and standing up. 

Max rolls his eyes but takes advantage of you walking towards him, smile on your face, and blatantly ogles you. The way the navy blue lacy dress hugs every dip and curve of your frame has Max checking his watch, wondering just how late you two could be without raising suspicion. 

“Don’t get any ideas.” You giggle, wrapping your arms around Max’s waist before pitching up onto your toes to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You were just scolding me that we can’t be late and then you come in here looking at me like that.” 

“It’s not my fault you look like a goddamn masterpiece in that dress.” He murmurs against your neck as he drags hot, open mouthed kisses down towards your collar bone. 

The way Max talks to you now, the reverent way he looks at you like you’re a piece of art in the most normal of situations, the way he always has to be touching you even with just the tips of his fingers, it’s everything you’ve ever craved from a relationship and everything you thought you didn’t deserve. 

Two weeks have passed since that night in your studio and while Max had to be gone for half of it for a race, one that you had solidly refused to attend until the dust between you and Lando settles a little more, it’s almost as if you two have been together for years now. The way you’ve slotted yourself into his life and Max into yours is so settling, so calming that you’ve caught yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’ve caught yourself waiting for him to behave like Lando, to push you away or do something that proves that Lando was right all along. 

Max knows you’ve been waiting for it so he’s made an extra effort to prove to you that it’s never going to happen. He knows you’re still healing, still recovering from what the British driver did to you so he hasn’t pushed. He hasn’t pushed to label whatever it is you two are to each other. It doesn’t matter to either of you because if you’re both in Monaco, you’re together. Max comes down to your apartment to watch while you cook dinner or you go up to his to cuddle on the couch and spend the night. It’s been a blissfully quiet time but you can both feel that private time coming to an end. 

The comments on your post from earlier had been mostly positive but it was pretty apparent fans had put two and two together. People knew you and Max were…something. They had figured out that a breakup had taken place even if nothing had officially been announced. You knew that once you arrived to the gallery tonight, hand in hand with Max, that was all it was going to take to confirm to the public that you and Lando were over and you had moved on. 

The thought of what Lando might do after he sees the coverage of tonight, and you know there will be coverage, has anxiety sitting heavy on your shoulders. Max clocks it instantly, shaking his head. He reads you so easily now, he always has but since that night in your studio, he’s been even more in tune with you and your moods. 

“Don’t go there. It’s going to be fine. Everyone who loves you, who matters, is going to be there and we won’t let anything or anyone ruin tonight, okay?” 

You nod, attempting to tamp down the anxiety that blooms hotly in your chest. You hated how much control Lando still had over you sometimes but you were getting better, bit by bit. “Thank you.” You whisper, nuzzling into the crook of Max’s neck while inhaling the scent of his cologne. 

“I have something for you.” Max murmurs into your hair in an obvious attempt to distract you. 

You pull back, eyes sparkling up at him. “You do?” 

Distraction successful. 

Max reaches into the back pocket of his slacks and pulls out a rectangular velvet box. You blink up at him in confusion. “Max…” 

“It’s just something small to show you how proud I am of you, how wildly in love I am with you.” He says, the words skittering up your spine before settling deep in the pit of your stomach. You’ve never been loved in the way Max loves you and it’s always seemingly knocking you off your center. “Go on, open it.” He whispers, watching as you turn the velvet box over in your hands. 

The hinges on the box whisper open and you’re momentarily speechless when you see what is nestled in the black satin. A diamond tennis necklace winks up at you with dozens of brilliant cut diamonds set in what looks to be platinum, stealing the very breath from your lungs. The stone that sits nestled in the center though is what renders you completely speechless. A large emerald cut brilliant blue sapphire stone sits in the middle of the necklace, the color a perfect match to the navy blue of Max’s Formula 1 car. 

“Max.” You whisper, unable to find any other words beyond his name. 

“Do you like it?” He asks, eyes searching yours earnestly, looking for approval in your face. 

“It’s…” The words to describe the beauty of the piece sitting heavy in your hands escapes you. Your breath hitches in the back of your throat, a small, involuntary gasp escaping your lips. The diamonds, so bright they seem to shimmer with the captured light, blur and swim together as tears prick at your eyes. “Max,” You manage again, your voice thick with emotion that you struggle to get a handle on. “It’s breathtaking.” 

He reaches for the necklace, his fingers brushing against yours, sending a surge of pleasure down your spine. His touch, simple as it is, is familiar but charged with a new intensity. He lifts the delicate chain, the cool metal a stark contrast against the warmth of his skin, and fastens it around your neck after you spin for him while lifting your hair out of the way. The weight of the piece settles against your skin, a physical reminder of his affection, his love for you. Love. The word echoes int he quiet space of your mind, a sound so heavy but exhilarating that it has fresh tears threatening to spill over. 

“Turn around.” He murmurs, voice husky. Max takes a step back, eyes raking over you, a slow appreciative burn in their blue depths. 

You obey, your movements a little stiff and unsure. As you turn, the sapphire catches the light, flashing a vibrant, rich blue against the pale glow of your skin. You spot your reflection in the mirror across the room just as you turn back to face Max and your breath catches again. The necklace transforms your outfit into something extraordinary. It’s not just beautiful, it’s…meaningful. It’s a symbol of his belief in you, his pride in being with you, his acceptance of you, flaws and all.

 It’s a promise, whispered against your skin. 

“It’s too much.” You whisper, the words barely audible. The sheer extravagance of the gift, the depth of the emotion behind it, is almost too overwhelming. 

Max steps closer, his hands slipping around your waist as he pulls you against his body. “It’s not too much.” He says, his voice gentle but firm. “You deserve the world, everything beautiful and bright and good. And this?” He gestures to the necklace clasped around your neck, the sapphire resting in the hollow of your throat, “This is just a small token of my love.” 

“Thank you.” You whisper, the words wholly inadequate and insufficient to describe the way your stomach is swirling with emotion but it’s all you can manage in the face of such overwhelming emotion. You reach up, your fingers tracing the cool surface of the center stone. It feels like a piece of him, a tangible representation of the connection you both share. And in that moment, surrounded by the quiet him of unspoken emotion, you know that whatever happens tonight, whatever Lando might do to ruin the night or in the future, you’re not alone. You have Max. And that, you realize, is more precious than any piece of jewelry that Max could ever give you. 

f1.gossip.news posted

f1.gossip.news in a move that shocked...absolutely no one, charles leclerc's little sister stepped out hand in hand with new flame max verstappen tonight. while her and lando never officially announced their split, we've all seen the writing on the wall. her insta post announcing her new artwork debuting tonight featuring the red bull driver was all the confirmation we needed that her and the mclaren driver are dunzoooo. what do we think, chat??? user7575 she is GLOWING! good for her. >>>user0209 seriously, i haven't seen her or max look this happy in ages. user3221 i can hear the dishes breaking in lando's apartment from here in london >>>user0202 seriously. imagine losing the championship last year AND THEN YOUR GIRL to max verstappen. WHEEEEW BOY. user1992 this is so messy. i love it.

The light from the gallery spills out onto the sidewalk, casting a golden glow out into the street that guides you and Max towards it’s doors. It doesn’t escape your notice that the last time you walked down this sidewalk at night towards Nessa’s gallery for a show of yours, you were alone and desperately sad. 

Tonight though? Tonight is completely different. Your arm is tucked securely in Max’s elbow as he walks with towards the gallery with you after dropping the car off with the valet. The necklace he’d given you that night sits securely around your throat, an outwardly sign of the budding relationship between you two. As you approach the gallery, you see your brothers waiting for you but this time, all of their significant others are also waiting for you as well. 

Charles is the first one to intercept you, catching you up in a tight hug before whispering how lovely you look tonight in your ear. You’re passed first to Arthur and finally to Lorenzo, who makes a joke about the rock around your neck. Through it all, Max sits back quietly, watching you glow under the attention of your brothers. Jade, Alexandra, and Charlotte all make a fuss over your outfit and paw at the necklace, swooning over how it practically sparkles under the gallery lights. 

When you finally make it into the gallery, there are dozens of people already there. Nessa sees you walk through the door first and pounces on you instantly. 

“My darling!” She coos, wrapping you up in her arms and squeezing you tightly. “You are shimmering with happiness.” She comments, eyes darting to where Max stands behind you, hands tucked neatly into his pockets as he talks with Charles and Arthur. “And I suppose we have that man to thank for that.” 

“Partly.” You agree, but you know it’s more than that. You feel as though you’ve been given a second chance tonight. You were so close to losing everything, to succumbing to everything that Lando had put you through over the last three years that this first night out feels like your first taste of what life should feel like. You knew you had Max to thank for a lot of that, but it also wasn’t lost on you how much you had also fought to be there for yourself. “I’ve done a lot of work on myself the last few months too.” 

Nessa nods, running a protective hand up and down your bare arms. “I know, your art has changed! It feels lighter but also there’s so much more depth to it. I’ve had several inquiries about the one of your man after Brazil.” She says, eyes alright with dollar signs. 

“Unfortunately, that one is already sold.” Max cuts in, slipping his arm around your waist before handing you a glass of red wine. 

You startle, not realizing that you had already sold a piece so early on in the night. “It is?” 

Max nods, taking a sip of his drink. “I came in yesterday afternoon while you were taking a nap and bought it.” 

Your head snaps to Nessa, looking for confirmation. “Paid twice my asking price.” She murmurs, smirk playing at her ruby red lips. Traditionally, she never sold a piece before it was debuted but Max had been persuasive and insisted on locking down the piece without you knowing before hand. 

“Max!” You hiss, bumping a shoulder into his. “I would have just given it to you if you’d asked! I was planning on doing that anyway!” 

Max shrugs, small smile on his face. “I wanted to make sure no one beat me to it. And of course I paid for it! Allow my girl to give her work away for free? Just because I’m the muse doesn’t mean I get special treatment.” 

You’re fairly certain you blush deeper a deep red than the scarlet of your brother’s Ferrari at the praise Max heaps on you. Nessa hides a knowing grin behind her own wine glass before excusing herself to go talk to a client that had just walked in. 

Max and you are left alone in the center of the room and for a moment, the silence that settles over you two is a comforting blanket. It’s not hurried or anxious, the energy between you tonight. It’s a calm, steady thrum of energy that passes easily from Max to you without having to do much more than exchange a glance or quick brush of fingertip against bare skin. You watch your family swirl around the room, each gently checking in on you in their own time as they mingle and you feel yourself relax into the vibe of the evening. 

You’re two glasses in and having a hushed conversation with Jade as Max stands beside you, backs to the door, when a sudden tension snaps through the gallery. On the opposite side of the room, the door at the front of the gallery snaps just a touch too loudly, pulling your attention in that direction. 

The figure that stands just inside the gallery sends your stomach dropping through your toes. 

“Shit.” Beside you, Max’s hand finds yours and he instinctively shifts to put himself between the rest of the gallery and yourself. 

You knew this was going to happen. You had felt it in your bones tonight as you had gotten ready. You knew that Lando would never let you have this. Knew deep down that he’d never let you fully get away from him without having the last word. If there was one thing that Lando couldn’t stand, it was being made a fool of. And you knew that showing up here tonight on Max’s arm, wearing Max’s jewels would set him off. 

You deserved what was coming. 

You try frantically to step around Max, feeling the need to absorb the fire you knew Lando was going to spew everywhere. But Max won’t allow it. Without a single glance in your direction, Max shifts his weight once again and you find yourself even further away from Lando now. Somewhere to your left, you sense Charles and Arthur step in front of you two and you’re certain Lorenzo is around somewhere. 

“Typical LeClerc behavior. Hiding behind others who are more powerful than you in order to save face. Learned from the best, didn’t you baby?” The venom in Lando’s voice sinks it’s claws into your bloodstream, threatening to drag you under. 

Around you, conversations cease instantly, all attention on the scene happening in the corner of the room. 

You weren’t going to let Lando win this though. You were done giving him the power to control you, done dodging the confrontation in an attempt to quietly end things between you. He just wasn’t getting the hint and if he was going to behave like this, then fine. You were fed up. 

Pushing through Max and Charles, you stand in front of your ex-boyfriend, head held high. “Lando, this is neither the time nor the place to do this.” Your voice is deceptively calm, not giving away a bit of the fear that trembles just below the surface. 

Lando sneers, rolling his eyes and then his gaze snags on the necklace at your throat. The navy blue stone catches the light, winking over at him with an antagonizing shimmer. He takes half a step closer and you feel Max shift again, but this time he comes to stand beside you instead of in front of you. 

“Wearing his collar already, huh?” He bites out. A chorus of gasps ripple through the gallery but you just tip your chin up higher, used to his attempts at humiliation. Lando’s gaze shifts to Max beside you and a cruel smile curls at the corner of his mouth. “Tell me, Verstappen. Does she still make that little cooing noise right before she comes? It was always the sweetest little sound, you know the one I’m talking about, right?” 

Humiliation burns through you, hot and bright as Max reaches for your hand, giving it a squeeze. Another ripple of disbelief peppers through the crowd but Max barely blinks. “You know, I’ve never heard her make that particular sound.” He pauses and Lando’s face lights up in a brilliant smile, as if he’s won. “Usually, she’s too busy screaming my name when I make her come though so she’s never been one to make quiet little sounds with me.” 

Silence. 

“I always knew you were a cheating whore.” 

A sickening crack rings out in the otherwise silent room as your brother’s fist connects squarely with Lando’s jaw. 

“Charles!” You gasp, hand flying to your throat as you watch Lando stagger back. 

Charles shakes out his hand, received to be able to move all of his fingers. He can’t imagine that call to Maranello going well if he’d had to phone about a broken hand. 

“Keep my sister’s name out of your filthy fucking mouth, you piece of trash.” Charles spits, voice a mask of sheer deathly calm.

Max steps forward, a silent demand for order radiating from the way he stands. “Enough.” His voice is unwaveringly calm as he watches Lando struggle to his feet, clutching at his left eye where a deep blue bruise is already blooming. “Get the fuck out of here before I call the police. I don’t think Zak would be to happy to hear about tonight’s shenanigans or enjoy having to read the media coverage after his star driver gets arrested for harassment.” Max takes half a step towards Lando and you enjoy the way the Brit scrambles away. “If you so much as sneeze in her direction ever again, I will make it my life’s mission to see your entire life ruined, Norris.” Max is practically nose to nose with Lando now, his glare cutting down your ex-boyfriend so he appears about two inches tall. “Are. We. Clear?” 

****

Later that night, Max startles awake, unsurprised to find himself alone in your bed. He knew you were restless tonight. It had taken him nearly twice as long as it usually did for him to pull your body to release underneath him. And after, when you had tumbled head first into sleep, naked beside him, you weren’t settled like you usually were when you slept beside him. 

So no, he wasn’t surprised to find you gone and the bed long cold beside him. 

Pulling on a pair of boxers, Max wanders into your spare bedroom that’s morphed into somewhat of a second studio space. He finds you exactly where he expects you: facing away from him sitting in front of a half finished canvas. You’re bathed in a brilliant blue moonlight, wearing nothing but his white dress shirt from earlier and his necklace you still haven’t removed. 

“Come back to bed, my love.” He murmurs into the crook of your neck as you drop your head onto his, sinking into the warmth of his embrace. 

A soft sound of agreement hums in the back of your throat as you place the brush on the table beside you. Max is a touch surprised with how pliant you are, instantly following his suggestion without much fight but he also knows today took a lot out of you and the thing you sometimes craved was the ability to shut it all off. 

“I wasn’t getting much work done anyway.” You murmur, standing and leaning into his embrace even more. The room is chilly anyway and you find yourself needing Max’s touch more than anything else in that moment. 

You allow Max to tug you out the door towards your bedroom, knowing that he’s able to read you perfectly. He doesn��t rush you though. He lets you linger for a moment in the doorway, your gaze snagging lightly on the painting behind you. It’s a gorgeous landscape that you’re known for, something you haven’t been able to paint in what feels like a lifetime. The moonlight paints silver streaks across the floor, illuminating the painting that you had spent the last hour just starting at. It’s a peaceful scene, a stark contrast to the turmoil that had filled your day. A small, contented sigh escapes your lips and Max squeezes your hand just enough to pull your attention back to him. 

Once back in the bedroom, the chill of the room sends a shiver down your spine. Max, ever attentive, pulls back the covers, gesturing for you to climb in first. He watches as you curl up on your side, tucking your knees up in towards your chest. The white shirt slips off your body, revealing the delicate curve of your spine. He slides in beside you, the mattress dipping under his weight. Max reaches out, his hand finding the curve of your hip and gently pulls you closer until your back is flush against his chest. He wraps an arm around your waist, fingers splaying across your stomach. 

You melt into his touch, the warmth of his body radiating through you. His breath is warm against the back of your neck and the steady rhythm of his heart is a soothing lullaby you’ve come to depend on at night. The events of earlier linger in the back of your mind, but here, in Max’s arms they start to feel a little more distant, muffled almost. He kisses the nape of your neck softly, a quiet reminder of his constant presence in your life now, how he’ll never allow you to be alone of face anything by yourself anymore. 

“Better?” He whispers, voice low and rumbling against your bare skin. 

“Mm-hmm” You hum, snuggling deeper into his embrace. You reach down and take his hand that sits on your belly, intertwining your fingers with his. The simple act of holding his hand grounds you, reminding you that you’re not alone anymore. You turn slightly in his arms, just enough to look up at him. His eyes, even in the dim light of the bedroom, are filled with tenderness and understanding. 

“Thank you.” You whisper, your voice thick with emotion. 

Max smiles, a soft, reassuring smile that makes your heart ache in the best way. “For what, liefje?” His Dutch accent is thick now, as it gets when he’s tired and emotional. 

“For everything.” You say, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “For being here. For understanding. For taking care of me.” 

He pulls you closer, his hold tighenying slightly. “Always.” He murmurs against your lips. “Always and forever, my love.” 

And as you drift off to sleep, wrapped in the warmth of his arms, you know that no matter what happens next, you and Max will face it together. This, right here, in his arms, is your happy ending that you’ve been chasing after your entire life. 

Tag list:

@shelbyteller, @martygraciesversion381, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @linnygirl09 @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream @daemyratwst @dramaticpiratellamas @mochimommy2002 @llando4norris @iamaunknownsecret @maxivstappen @imlonelydontsendhelp @nina-or-anna-or-nora @a1leexxa @littlegrapejuice @sunflowervol18 @freyathehuntress @finn-dot-com @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @chirasama @lauralarsen @dr3wstarkey @saskiaalonso @rbv3rstappen @ilovechickenwings @guaaafiiburg @mcmuppet @mindless-rock @piastri-fvx @mel164 @schumi-angel @myescapefromthislife @supertrashbread @sunny44 @tinystudentblaze-stuff @sarx164

[akindaflora]

Lip Mask

Description: (Established relationship) Chan comes home after tour and can’t get enough of your lip mask and well your lips!

warning: mentions of making out, some grinding, lap sitting, one use of the word saliva, Names used Channie Bang Chan and Christopher, mentions of making a video

Definitely will be blocking no age accounts if your under 18 please avoid this one sorry :)

Author note: Did my best to correct any mistakes and rearranged some of the flow but its pretty much the same as the unedited version! Thanks again for reading. <3

Edited 1/29/25 Word Count: 1,335

It had been a rough, dry day—nothing your skincare routine couldn’t help—and your boyfriend, Bang Chan, was home after the tour. After what felt like years, nothing could ruin your afternoon, not even your boss, who was unnecessarily rude today.

Like always after your shower you dried and changed into some comfy shorts and one of Chan’s many black shirts. Washing your hands you began to first brush your teeth, next you washed your face, then you began applying your face and eye cream and finally you applied your lip mask. When you looked into the mirror you definitely weren’t that far off from a disco ball how shiny your face became.

When Chan and you first started dating you noticed how soft his lips were whenever you kissed or in general constantly not hearing him from you staring at his lips which would be followed by a blush when he called you out on it. Though he was never mad more embarrassed after you would tell him his lips looked absolutely irresistible. But because of that obsession with his lips, when winter came you noticed how cracked yours would get and even had a few days where you wouldn’t kiss him out of embarrassment. To which he would tell you after pouting for days on end, constantly telling you that no amount of crack lips could keep you away. Yet his constant support didn’t stop you from finding new ways to keep them soft and after what felt like weeks of trial and error your lips were finally as pillowy as Chans. Smiling at yourself in the mirror from the memory, you made your way to your living room. Where your boyfriend sat on the couch scrolling through streaming services with intentions to cuddle and watch anything with you. It had been a long tour and he intended to let nothing stop him and you time. At the sound of your feet softly patting on the hardwood floor, he looked up quickly smiling as his eyes met yours.

“Hello gorgeous,” he said with a smirk using one of his hands to pat the seat right next to him, “Come here,” he said quietly as he lifted the blanket specifically for living room cuddles. Quickly walking over you plopped down next to him and laid your head on his shoulder. This small jester said everything that he didn't need to put into words. “I’ve missed you too,” you said quietly to which he responded with a soft hum and an arm that softly wrapped around your back pulling you in closer if that was physically possible. “What have you decided on?” You said softly and slightly turned your head to look up at the man next to you. After a while, he didn’t respond, from what you could see he definitely had a few eye bags from all the traveling and touring. You brought your hand up to softly caress his cheek missing the softness of his skin and the warmth that followed. After being away for so long you kept talking hoping to wake up the sleepy prince.

“Mmmm, definitely not horror right? Or maybe you wanna watch a rom-com but we both know how that ends” you said with a giggle as his head leaned into your touch and yet he didn’t respond only taking in the details of your eyes, your cheeks, and your… lips? While he didn’t say anything he did giggle when you did so maybe he was just tired you thought so you kept talking.

“Ooo maybe we could watch the new season of Dr Stone or maybe Solo Level? Felix is featured on the “ You were stopped by a sudden quick peck. And before you could question him it just kept going but only on your lips. Every time you opened your mouth another attack would happen until you finally turned your head to the side in a fit of giggles.

“CHANNIE” you streaked, “stop it I just put my lip mask on” you jokingly complained.

“I’m sorry baby but your lips are just so soft” the syllables of soft coming out more like a whine from his lips. “just one more,” he said after hiding in your neck out of embarrassment.

After what felt like a few minutes but only a few seconds you sighed heavily and replied with a bemused fine.

Quickly he grabbed your face bring your lips to his own. But what was agreed upon as one peck turned into a full make-out session. He grabbed your waist nearly pulling you into his lap his other hand holding the back of your neck as if he were afraid you would pull away. But when your hands slowly crept up from his chest to move around his neck he made home of his hands softly rubbing circles with his thumb on your waist underneath the shirt you wore. Successfully pulling you onto his lap.

Your lips become messy with the mix of lip mask and the saliva that mixed between your contact with his. With the way your soft lips and his touched it was more like a pillow fight as each lip overlapped the other. Soft moans left his and your mouth, as he roughly swiped your lower half to his. You pulled back as the high of the kiss started to feel less like heaven and more like air loss. Your forehead met his with a few pants passing from your lips that met his own as you tried to breathe.

Still sitting on his lap his eyes looking intensely into yours slightly darkening as his lips were brought into a smirk. “Channie you said only one kiss that was nearly a make-out session,” you said jokingly pouting. He only quietly laughed still out of breath but as if your lips were his cure he pecked your lips more between each huff. You giggle but ultimately move your head back as his kisses move to your neck. The soft pillows left heat from his breath as they made contact.

“Channie” you whined out in between giggles still trying to catch your breath. He only sighed in the home he made into your neck taking in the scent of your freshly showered skin. “I’m sorry but your lips are incredibly soft, I just can’t get enough!” His head quickly popped out of your neck to look you into your eyes. Finally able to see his face again you noticed your lip mask making his lips extremely shiny from your little session. Shinny and extremely pink as you assumed yours to be, you moved your hands to either side of his face softly letting your thumbs run across his checks quickly swiping some of the mask that rubbed its way on the outside of his mouth before you went back in for a quick peck. Also not being able to resist now that your favorite pillows had become a shiny treat. A rich smile filled with joy popped onto his face but slowly turned into something slightly mischievous.

“Channie wait no what about-“ cut off again as he swiftly picked you up and laid your back softly on the couch as he lay over you his hands caressing the sides of your body as his lips found yours again. This kiss not lasting as long as the other but nearly as intense left you pouting from the lack of contact, “We can make a movie if you’re so worried about it” he said quickly tucking a piece of hair that lay on your cheek.

Feeling the blush on your cheeks you quickly looked to the left. Jokingly tapping his shoulder with a loud smack, his name coming out loudly from your mouth “Christopher!” All he could respond was a quick laugh as his hand brought your face back to his lips. Yeah this was definitely an afternoon for the books, how could not be just your Channie and your skin routine against the world?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After writing notes: If you made it to here thank you ❤️ This is my first time writing anything like this so i only hope i could do you all justice with this fluff. But i couldn’t help but keep thinking about this moment with Channie specially since I started doing a lip care routine. And i mean come on you’ve seen this man’s lips.

-YaYa

[queers-gambit]

Let The Redeemed Tell Their Story [ pt. 1 ]

part one: Not So Heavenly Surprise

pt. 2: Let the Redeemed Tell Their Story

prompt: reunions are bittersweet. feelings are hard. times are tough, redemption is sought, goodbyes feel impossible; there's blood in the snow, tears in their eyes, and a haunting goodbye in the air.

pairing: Joel Miller x female!wife!reader

fandom masterlist: HBO's The Last of Us

word count: 9.3k+

note: in my best Tom Segura voice, "get. fucking. ready." -> second 24-27 from this TikTok for reference

second note: broken up into two parts. pt 1: the reunion, pt. 2: the drama and angst

warnings: suicidal ideology / mention as pertains to Joel's story. we talk death and dead bodies, mentions of dead children. cursing, use of Y/N, so many spoilers, reader insert!! pet names for / by all, step parents are REAL parents, forgiveness, heavy redemption arc, canon-level violence!! small comfort, some fluff, established relationship, and then super-sized angst, author wants you to hurt! oh, and fatal main character injury! maturity and caution required! written before season two!

❗️season one, episode six spoilers

Needless to say, Ellie, Joel, and Tess all got off to the wrong start, on the wrong foot, in the wrong direction. It wasn't exactly any of their faults, though.

There had been an ambush; blood, bullets, a knife, battery acid; there being no real friendly way to meet others post Outbreak. And in these trying times amongst the Firefly Rebellion, there was an added extra layer of anxiety to everything - making it hard to come by trust, especially after Joel himself conducted particularly heinous crimes against humanity. He knew what people were capable of, and even though Ellie was smaller and not visibly a threat to him, he wasn't going to let his guard down. That's how you fucked around and found out.

Life felt brittle and unbalanced, no room for new friendships or bonds or trust or camaraderie in this dog-eat-dog world.

Plus Joel aimed a gun at Ellie, she wasn't entirely willing to play nice after that. And Tess was evidently just Joel's lapdog - meaning she had a helluva bite as bad as her bark - so, the older woman wasn't entirely screaming "friendly" either. There was something off about them, but Ellie couldn't identify what it was; knowing she had to trust that if her mother's friend was right, this couple was just a vehicle - a means - to get her west. There were facilities, laboratories, doctors, and researchers conducting life-saving experiments that could see the start and end of this Outbreak in the same lifetime. Ellie was excited to be part of those answers since it was all the 14-year-old could hold onto after losing Riley to the Infection; thinking she wouldn't ever have to endure that twist of fate again if she went west.

Yet for now, she was saddled with Joel and Tess; the latter of who left the pair at the apartment to gather supplies for their trip into Boston to link with the Firefly transport team. She had to play nice for, what? All of two, maybe three days? Tops? Ellie figured she could do that, she was stronger than anyone wanted to give her credit for. So, when Joel crashed on the couch, she poked around the bleak 'home' out of pure childlike nosiness.

There wasn't anything personal to the naked eye, until she caught sight of the stained-glass butterfly hanging in the window pane; sure to catch the light when the sun was shining. She thought it curiously out of place, yet would not say a word when Tess returned and Joel was instantly lifting to his feet to take it down. He quickly wrapped it in an old shirt and stored it as safely as he could deep in his supply pack, eyes casted downward to miss Tess' glare and head shake of disappointment. Or perhaps, he didn't miss them at all and purposefully avoided the eyes of a jilted lover, offended by a childish decoration.

In fact, interestingly, Ellie noted that Joel was much more caring and considerate with his pack than he was Tess. She never saw them romantically interact, but understood there was some kind of trauma bond between them; feeling something heavy in her chest when witnessing their goodbyes. It was the most emotional Joel had appeared this whole time, and of course, it was in the shadow of losing someone he cared about.

Joel was in denial, even when Tess revealed her bite and compared it to Ellie's - whose skin was scabbing and healing. "When Y/N first - "

"Don't say her name," Joel snapped.

"Fuck you and listen! When Y/N first theorized there would come immunity in younger generations, we both told her she was fucking crazy. She left us, left you, Joel - "

"Don't you fuckin' say that - you don't talk about her like that!"

"We don't have time for you to play this game, Joel! She went in search of a sign - and now, look! This is real," Tess yanked Ellie's arm further into the light. "Joel, she's fucking real, and you haven't heard anything from Y/N in years - not even Tommy's heard from her! Isn't that why we're going - why you're going? So her death isn't in vain?" Joel shook his head, but the attention shifted when Tess' hand started to shake. She released Ellie and tucked her arm out of sight, insisting, "I need you to get her to Bill and Frank's - "

"No."

"They'll take her off your hands - "

"No."

" - they'll handle it from there."

Joel refused at first, but Tess was running out of time and used every tactic at her disposal. She insisted and demanded. Tears filled her eyes, "The past 15 years, all you've wanted was absolution - it's what Y/N wanted, so it became what you wanted - "

"I told you, don't fuckin' talk about her," Joel snarled angrily, but Tess didn't flinch this time... Because there was no time.

"Face it! She's dead, Joel, but she was waiting for anyone like Ellie!"

"You don't know that!"

"I know it's easier to think she's out there, Joel, but this is Y/N we're talking about - she would've sent word! She hated what we did so much, she left to search for anything better! For anything, Joel! You have to do this. This is it, Joel, this is your chance for you and her to set everything right."

It seemed to do the trick and Ellie wondered who you could've been since your very name set Joel on edge. Yet there was no time to question either of them because a wave of Infected was on their way to them after the chain network of fungi called them to their newest prey. There was panic permeating the air as they had about a minute or two to get gone, arm themselves, or fruitlessly hide before the Infected would reach them.

Tess began overturning gallons of gasoline onto the floor, devising a quick plan; tossing several explosives to the ground with the intention that they would all catch. "Joel," Tess hushed, approaching him, "it's what she would want... If Y/N was here, in my position, she'd be telling you the same thing... If not for me, do it for her. Save who you can save."

Joel only hesitated a moment before turning from Tess and grabbing Ellie, yanking her out of the building after him despite her profane protests. Tess sacrificed herself for their escape, firm in her belief that a cure was possible after witnessing the impossible herself; evident the adults were still living in the past, stuck on what was and all that they lost.

Ellie was deeply motivated by Tess' display, curious if there ever was something to 'return' to, making the newly independent pair quiet on their journey through the suburbs beyond the city.

At Bill and Frank's, they were greeted by only more death. There was nothing out here for them; completely alone, only with each other to rely on. So, Joel and Ellie formed a sort of pact to travel together west in search of the Fireflies and Tommy, Joel's brother - entire reason for his mission trip. Yet still, she felt this mystery woman haunting Joel; it was in nearly everything he said or did, evident there was harbored history he refused to acknowledge. Ellie never had the opportunity to vocalize her question who you were, it was never natural, no bridge, no Segway or reason to ever bring your name up; and after seeing the way Joel snapped at Tess, she wasn't entirely eager to endure a similar reaction.

So she didn't ask that question.

And they kept going.

After Kansas City, Ellie wasn't too excited for answers anymore, especially since she failed to save Sam; in fact, she began to dread their destination the further they got. She was unsure what waited for her and let the anxiety of the unknown drag her down; something Joel took acute note of, but didn't directly address. The obvious turmoil and the way he was haunted by the very mention of his estranged wife's name contributed to the heaviness growing in his chest.

December 11th, 2023 twenty years after Outbreak Day

"Hey, Doc! Doc!"

"Yeah? All right there, Arthur?" You asked pleasantly, trudging up the street leading to the cantina.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, you know me, just my sciatica actin' up again," the older man grunted, waddling in stride beside you. "I done told you this weather was gonna drag me down, see here?"

"Hey now, c'mon, all right, hold onto me, don't need you tippin' over again," you chuckled, keeping the aging elder upright, both shuffling along. "I got what you need, don't you worry, a nice tincture for yah, fresh this morning. All right? Help clear this episode right up - let's get you somethin' warm t'eat, c'mon, there you go, step carefully, all right, now."

"You always spoilin' me," he tisked.

"Us older folk gotta stick together, huh?"

"You're hardly up there," Arthur scoffed, shuffling into the cantina with your assistance. "You're, what? 30? 32?"

"Oh, you ol' charmer," you snickered, waving or nodding at the few citizens that quietly greeted you in passing to the dining room, "you know better than to ask a lady her age!"

"Oh, well, maybe an old timer like me was just tryna hedge his bets."

"Hey? What's that supposed to mean?"

You helped him into a seat across the way from Two Left Lenny as he explained, "Couple o'us got a li'l bet goin' if you're really with that Tommy fella or Maria lady. Can't figure you out, darlin', and you're too pretty t'stay single."

With a snort of amusement, you pushed his seat in, "Now, you wouldn't be tryna set me up with nobody, would'jah? Arthur, I'm tellin' you what, don't do it now."

"Oh, no, never," Arthur sang, hands held in defense.

"Uh-huh, okay, Trouble. Sit tight, I'll grab you somethin'," you patted his shoulder, asked Lenny if he needed anything, then moved towards the buffet line; chuckling to yourself about his little queries. You made up a quick plate with a simple cup of black coffee, chitchatting to the other residents as you went before dropping the meal at the table. "Now, you're gonna eat all them eggs, huh? They're good protein, you need it," you mused, reaching for your usual crossbody canvas tote to rummage around before producing a tincture bottle. "All right, here you go - use moderately. The grove I harvest them cloves at is dryin' up. I gotta replant - "

Before you could continue, a chair shrilly scraped against the floor and someone cried your name. Only... This was a familiar Southern drawl you knew originated from one place.

Whipping around towards the sound, you only needed a moment before Joel's figure was clear as day; stood from his seat in shell shock. He had tears in his wide eyes.

"Joel?" You breathed, and without another thought, rushed for him. "Holy shit, that you? That really you? Oh, my good God, how the fuck - what're you - c'mere!"

The clash of your bodies thudded across the cantina; blissful, unfiltered laughter filling the hearts of any with the ability to hear. Arms clung like cling wrap to each other, rubbing in shock and disbelief as if to reassure the feeling of one another - alive and real, physically here right now. You felt his chest heaving, mouth at your ear hushing, thick with emotion, "I thought you dead, baby; oh, my God. Thought you was gone, I had t'come a'lookin' - you said - you said if I ain't hear from you - "

"Oh, sweetheart, I know, hey, hey," you sighed, petting the back of his head; fingers loosely raking in salted locks. "I'm so sorry I couldn't send word, but I'm right here, honey, I'm right here... Shhh, 's all right, I gotcha, 'M here. Just focus on that."

And just like that, it was as if not a day had passed; as if there was no bad blood or past transgressions, only the here and now: sheer relief.

"Baby, I-I gotta - "

"I gotcha, you're okay," you hushed with your eyes squeezing shut upon feeling yourself dampen with his tears.

"I can't believe it's really you," he whispered. "Shit," with one last squeeze, he pulled back first but kept your cheeks caressed in both hands, "lemme a look at yah. You still you? You hurt?"

"Man," you tisked, smacking his bicep to make him flinch back in amusement, "what the fuck are you doin' all the way out here? How the hell are you even here? Thought I left you in Boston?"

"It's a bit of a long story."

You nodded, "Yeah, yeah, it always is, innit? Go on, sit, go, you were eating, c'mon." You both moved back for his side of the table; reaching out to position his chair and wait for him to reclaim it. "Tommy? You got somethin' to do with this?"

"Apparently," he mused, smirk ever present as you clapped Joel's shoulder and took note of the girl sitting beside him - who eyed you with mistrust. "Oh, uh, Y/N, this is Joel's... uh, Ellie. Ellie, this is our town's physician, Dr. Y/N Miller."

"Nice t'meet yah," you smiled, offering the girl your hand not resting on Joel's shoulder, "Ellie."

"No shit," she breathed, ignoring your hand to stand. "You're her? You're her - you're the Doctor. You're who Marlene told me about."

"Marlene?" You and Joel asked as the same time, but in very different pitches. Ellie noticed the natural way your hand caressed the back of his neck in silent restraint; a motion so practiced from years of marriage. "No shit, how's she doin'? She's not been on the radio lately, I haven't heard from her, God, maybe in years," You mused.

"Now you know how that feels," Joel easily quipped, putting a smile on Tommy's face to realize how identical this scene had once been in another life... But with Sarah.

"Hear that?" Tommy whispered to Maria behind his hand with a smirk. "Family."

"Good, last I knew," Ellie shrugged. "She's in Boston, but, uh, I hear you been lookin' for someone like me - "

"Ellie," Joel interrupted, the girl reading his face and silencing herself.

Your head cocked before a coy smile tugged on your lips as you eyed her up and down. "Uh-huh. Well, all right, honey, I just didn't know what was comin' my way." You tisked your teeth, encouraging, "Go on, sweetie, sit down, eat, enjoy. We'll get t'chattin' later, huh?"

"All right, yeah," Ellie smiled, sitting again. "What?" She asked Joel, who was shooting her an incredulous look. "I know some people, too."

"Uh-huh," he grunted, both going back to their meals. Your trio watched the two tuck in, Dina tapping your shoulder nervously, presenting your usual cup of coffee.

"Oh, thank you, darlin'. Hey, can I introduce - Oh, no, no, that's okay," you smiled when the girl turned and scurried away mid-sentence. "Listen, I gotta get back t'work - "

"Nah, c'mon, stay for a while, you're always moving, honey bee, c'mon," Tommy encouraged, tears slowly collecting in your eyes.

"Duty calls," you eased, sending Maria a pointed look.

"We'll find you later," she agreed, subtly nudging Tommy's foot under the table; watching you squeeze Joel's shoulder and nod at Ellie.

"Nice t'meet yah," you winked.

"Wait," Joel panicked, reaching to grab your hand to prevent your escape, "you really leavin'?"

"I've got some work to get done," you nodded softly.

"We just got here," he stood from his seat again, "I just found you again, doll, please."

You offered a half smile, "You'll be all right, Joel, promise. I'm never too far."

"Nah, no, darlin', hang on, 'cause last time I let you walk away, I ain't see you for fuckin' years - "

"No, hey, Joel, take a breath, baby. I'm not goin' too far, I'm right here in Jackson, all right? You're okay, y'all are safe - I just gotta wrap some shit up but I'll find you after, all right? Sure we got plenty t'catch up on, huh?"

"Yeah," Tommy scoffed without thought, "tends t'happen after two decades, right?" You and Joel pinned Tommy with an identical look of reprimand, making him laugh, "Wow - ain't seen that look in forever, huh?"

"Shut it, Tommy," you laughed, squeezing Joel's arm. "Sit, I'll find yah. Promise."

You sought solace in the medical office, distracting yourself through the waves of emotions you were being slandered with; but with rangers returning, there was thankfully no room for your emotional turmoil.

"No waaay!" Ellie beamed when she saw the foal poking her head over the stall door. Cavernous nostrils flared in greeting, the baby beast excited to greet another youngling.

"I see you've met our newest addition," you mused as you came up behind the group; starling Joel and Ellie. They physically flinched, but Tommy and Maria were far too used to your lithe movements. With a fraction of guilt, your hands went up in defense, "Sorry, sorry, bit light-footed."

Joel didn't deflate, but Ellie smiled, "What's her name?"

"That's Shimmer, just a few months old," you introduced, moving to lean on the stall's outer wall. "Go on, pet 'er if you'd like," you encouraged softly.

Ellie approached the filly, greeting, "Shimmer, you're so beautiful."

"Ever ride a horse before?"

"Nah, never... I'd like to learn, though."

"I'm sure we can make that happen," you nodded, looking at your estranged husband; mind whirling with the memories of teaching Sarah to horseback ride. Judging by the look on his face, he was lost in the same thoughts. So you tried to bring him back to reality by asking, "That is, if it's all right with you, Joel?"

"Hm?" He perked up.

"Ellie, learnin' t'ride?"

"Oh, uh... We'll see," he alluded, shifting his weight and looking away; hands wringing together.

"Well," Maria sighed, "I'm sure they'd like a shower, some new clothes. Doc, you got room for them or should we set them up in the house across the way?"

"They can stay at mine," you pushed off the wall, assuring the weary travelers, "plenty of room, decent place. I haven't really touched it so it might not feel much like home, but it's got heat and water. Could do worse."

"Oh, trust me, we have been," Ellie teased, alluding to the rough conditions they traveled through. You smirked in agreement, understanding first hand how difficult the trip from Boston to Jackson was.

But the child's comment made Joel snip, "We've been doin' fine."

You watched Ellie's face fall in confusion, as if she didn't understand Joel's defensiveness. Yet you did, nodding at Joel to try to assure him that you knew he did all he could in the given circumstances. He didn't need to feel inadequate since Jackson only had certain amenities of privilege because it was one of a kind. He looked down - hardly the man you knew, making your concern spike momentarily; realizing you'd have to relearn about the man you married 20some years ago; where for 5 or so years, you were a ruthless barbarian, then spent 15 years rectifying your wrongdoings, too many of which you've been gone from his side.

"Well, Doc can take Ellie over if you two wanna catch up?" Maria offered; Tommy looking to his brother for an answer.

"Yeah... Okay," Joel accepted after a moment of thought.

Tommy moved to lead the way, Ellie quietly hissing, "Joel."

"You'll be fine," he promised the girl, pointing at you, "trust her with my life, hand t'God."

Ellie noted that seemed to be a common theme; first with Marlene relaying her trust in Doc, now Joel. She watched him walk away with his brother, a strange feeling of abandonment brewing in her belly; hating how seemingly the moment he found his brother, he left her. You nodded to Maria, who left the pair of you to go about her daily chores; asking Ellie, "Shall we, honey?"

"Uh, yeah," she agreed, still watching the two men before almost forcing herself to follow you.

"If it's any comfort, we only leave the property for necessity. They're just headin' inta town. Won't be too far at any given point."

"Right."

"Ever had your own bedroom?"

"Uh, kinda?" She offered, now keeping pace with you. "I had a roommate, but... She joined the Fireflies, left me alone in our dorm..."

"You were FEDRA?"

"Yeah, in their orphanage."

You frowned, striding towards your house across from Maria and Tommy's., "Fuckin' brutal. Bet you're glad to be outta there."

"You have no idea."

"Oh, I got some - hence why I left," you snickered, nudging her playfully. "All right, here we go," you pushed open the front door, "so, real simple, right? Living room," you gestured, "kitchen's through there - backdoor, too," you pointed. "Right, so, up the stairs," you jogged up, hearing her follow, "got my bedroom right here." You bullied your shoulder into the bedroom she could use, "Right, then, sorry 'bout the dust and shit; I like cleaning for my anxiety, but it's no secret this part of the house don't get much use. Here," you showed her the bathroom, "can get a shower - I'll grab you a towel and some soaps. And some new clothes, all right?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, okay..."

You nodded, "Meet downstairs when you're done?"

"Cool."

After supplying her with the necessities, you left Ellie in the bathroom to quickly tidy up the room, deposit a new set of clothes and a DivaCup to the bed, then hustling out the backdoor towards your neighbor, Donna, who owed you from a couple favors. She provided the new winter coat you requested and gave you some of her homemade cookies before you left.

Reentering through the kitchen, you discovered Ellie in the living room, staring at the memorial you erected for your daughters on the mantel over a roaring fire. "Oh, good, you're out," you smiled in greeting, setting the cookies to the table. "I just grabbed you this," you held up the coat, "should help with the bitterness out here. Tellin' yah, kid, the wind out here is murderous." After handing it over, you encouraged, "Well, go on, try it on, lemme see."

"Why'd you do this...?"

"Ah, not used to people just being kind, huh?"

"No. Everyone has ulterior motives."

"Go through what I've been through, kid, and trust me, you get tired of being so pessimistic. Weighs on the soul in the worst ways and I don't have time or capability for that anymore. Just wanna do some good - no matter how small an act." You gestured at the jacket, watching her swing it on before adding, "Plus, you're Joel's kid, and that matters to me. Good?"

"It's, uh, super fuckin' purple."

"Eh, I'd say it's more eggplant," you tugged on the lapels and sleeves, nodding. "It fits?"

"Yeah - "

"Shoe's aren't too big?"

"Uh, no. Where's my other stuff?"

"Rag pile. Get the thing I left you?"

"Yeah. Weirdest gift ever."

"Trust me, it's useful," you snorted with amusement. "Figured period health wasn't exactly top of Joel's list, but - "

"He's not my father," she snipped, "and I can take care of myself."

"All right, then," you kept the relief out of your tone, remaining aloof. "You, uh, you want a haircut? Just to trim the ends, promise."

"I mean, I guess?"

"Who's been doin' it?"

"World-class salons," she deadpanned.

But you weren't phased, only smirking, "Should get your money back for that hack job, huh?" She looked ready to retort, but you were quick, "C'mon, honey, in the kitchen; just a trim, I'll grab my scissors."

So lead into about 10 minutes of silence as you wet Ellie's hair, brushed it, and then began inspecting how much of a cut would be needed. You figured about an inch or so.

"So..." Ellie broke the silence after finishing one of the cookies, "was this, like, your job back then or somethin'?"

"Nah," you mused, "never cut hair professionally, just more of a hobby. I've always liked doin' it, though, but..." You shrugged, "Maybe it was a mom thing." The silence turned poignant. "Saw yah lookin' at my li'l memorial...?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm-I'm sorry about your kids."

"Thank you," you sighed. "Delilah was just a few months old, Sarah wasn't much older than you are now."

"Could I ask what happened? Don't have to tell me if it's - "

"It's all right," you cut her off, "'s been 20 years, but ain't nothin' to really tell." You paused to snip another section of hair, aware that Joel would've told her is he wanted her to know. "The night of the Outbreak, there was so much chaos, my family was forced to split up. My sister had been holdin' Delilah, so she and Tommy had to go a different route than Joel, Sarah, and I - "

"Wait, Joel and Tommy?" Ellie asked swiftly.

"Yeah?"

"You were together that night? I-I mean," she realized the implication was too blatant, trying to cover, "you all knew each other back then?"

You snickered, "Uh-huh, knew each other reeeaaaal well. They ain't tell yah?"

"Nobody's told me anything. I can't tell if it's because they think I'm too young to handle it, or they simply can't stand to relive those memories."

"Probably the latter, darlin', everyone lost everything. It's hard to think back on that day 'cause nobody was untouched, you know? It... It fucked all survivors up."

"Right, yeah, I bet. So you guys, uh, split up?"

"Mhm." Your voice turned somber, the sounds of snipping scissors filling the background, "We lost Sarah first... Then my sister, Katie, well she got bit at some point when on the run with Tommy, so, uh, it was a mercy killin'... And last was Delilah - see, her li'l body was too weak for the Infection, so it killed her, didn't turn her."

Ellie sighed deeply as another section of hair was cut. "Holy shit... I-I'm sorry... That's... That's fucking terrible."

"Ain't nothin' but the past now, darlin'."

Ellie nodded in agreement, trying to break the tension by asking, "Soooooo, you and Tommy...?"

"Oh, fuck no!" You snickered, seeing her jolt in repressed amusement. "He's my brother-in-law; Joel and I were married, or I guess we technically still are, since divorce ain't a thing in the apocalypse."

Ellie went rigid, your scissors slowing when you noticed. Before you could question it, she asked, "They were Joel's kids?"

You wanted to blurt out that, no, Delilah wasn't Joel's after he rejected her before she was even born. Yet it was obvious this child had an attachment to him and you didn't wish to taint the man she knew by exposing the man he once was. There was no use hanging onto the past now, so you answered, "Sure was. Sarah wasn't biologically mine, though; you see, I was her stepmama. Though it often never felt like that - I was all she knew."

"She was your kid, too," Ellie validated.

"Uh, you know what? I'm sorry, honey, I shouldn't have said all that, it's Joel's business to tell."

"It's equally yours. But I appreciate knowing, guess it explains him a little."

"Mh," you hummed, "listen, kid, there's obviously some things you don't know 'bout him, but I reckon you've seen other things. Listen, I don't need to know what happened - but let me justify so you understand, he was so angry for years after losing our daughters in such a brutal way that he resorted to barbarity to filter his emotions. Loss like that... Changes a person to their core. Makes them do things never imaginable - "

"Oh, like killing people? Just like your beloved Tommy used to do, too?" Ellie quipped, "Yeah, I know about that."

"Mhm," you considered.

"He doesn't do that anymore."

"I ain't say nothin'."

"I felt you judging."

"How can I judge what I, too, have done, kid?" It was quiet save from the snip of the scissors. "Yeah, darlin', I know what Tommy and I did - we were followin' Joel. Inna way, we always did. He's magnetic that way, always had the right head on his shoulders so we didn't think too much, figured he knew right from wrong, and our best chances of survival was under him. Joel did everything possible to keep us alive and together."

Ellie scoffed, "And now you're worried I'm gonna do the same?"

"I - "

"Ever occur to you, I might be smarter than you and Tommy? No offense."

You sighed and dropped her hair, swiping the towel from around her shoulders a little roughly. Ellie's head snapped up to watch you round the front of her, taking the single seat at the table she was sat before. Tossing the scissors and towel aside, you sighed, "Listen to me, kid, and listen well. I'm not worried 'bout'cha. You've obviously got a helluva head about you - and yeah, very well might be smarter than me. Reckon you are smarter than Tommy, would've made a damn fine lawyer." A faint smirk tugged on the side of her mouth. It fell as your tone turned serious, "But don't for a second think you know more than I do, been around a helluva lot longer than you've even been a thought. There's a whole lot you're not tellin' me - and that's good. We all got our secrets - you, me, Tommy, Joel, Marlene. Everyone." You watched Ellie's eyes advert, sighing, "You hear me?"

"Mhm."

"I'm not tryna scare you, darlin', not tryna deter you from puttin' any kinda faith in Joel. Truthfully... Joel Miller was the best man I knew. He's a good guy to trust, would put his life on the line for those he cares for without a second thought."

"Then what are you trying to tell me? What?" She scoffed, "You think Joel's gonna do whatever he did to you, to me?"

"Well, therein lies my point - you be fuckin' careful who you put your faith in. The only people who can betray us... Are the ones we trust."

Ellie's eyes lit up with understanding. "How did he betray you?"

"That's not - "

"You can't give me all that cryptic crap and not explain. Nobody fuckin' explains to me anything!"

You chuckled, "Yeah, you're definitely smart, but for now, I'm smarter, hey? Now, c'mon, grab your super fuckin' eggplant coat."

"Where're we going?"

"The movies," you smirked. "Take some cookies, too."

You walked Ellie to the cantina, where a community movie night was underway. The pair of you asked simple questions: where were you from, what each other's favorite color was, how the hell you made it out to Jackson in one piece. During that walk, you decided you liked Ellie; she was a sarcastic little spitfire, but that kind of energy was few and far between these days. You liked the child's razzle-dazzle.

On the way into the cantina, you saw Tommy and Maria exchanging a hushed conversation; so, after seeing Ellie inside, you doubled back. "Hey," you greeted, the couple silencing themselves, "uh, everything all right?"

Maria sighed with a nod, "Fine. I'm gonna head in, keep an eye. You two should probably talk."

You watched your friend walk away, turning to Tommy with an inquisitive stare and a perched brow. Before you could question the tension, Tommy held up a pair of boots and requested, "Actually, babygirl, you mind taking these to the work shed?"

"Sure, but, uh - "

"They're for Joel."

"Right - but is there a reason you don't wanna deliver 'em yourself?" When his eyes adverted, you questioned, "Tommy? Somethin' happen between y'all?"

Tommy shook his head, "Can't hide shit from you. No, it's not - it's just - you know how brothers are. How he gets."

Your eyes narrowed, "Tell me the truth."

"It's not so bad..."

"What. Happened?"

Tommy lowered his voice, "I told him 'bout Maria and I becomin' parents and he... He didn't... He didn't have the best reaction. I might've said something t'him, like... How just 'cause his life stopped, doesn't mean the rest of ours did, too. I know I was outta line - "

"What was his reaction to you bein' a dad?"

"I told him I thought I'd be a good dad and he said, 'I guess we'll find out.'"

You counted to five in your head, inhaling the bitter cold and exhaling. "You know that's his trauma talkin'. You were the best fuckin' uncle to our girls, you're gonna be the best damn daddy, I know it. Joel's just not in his right mind, Tommy."

Tommy took a long breath in, huffing as his hands shoved to his jacket pockets. "Listen, uh, I was... I was gonna go talk to him, but I think you might get farther than me."

"Yeah, I don't know - "

"He's might still be a little prickly, babygirl, but c'mon, you guys can talk on a clean, fresh slate. Maybe he'll be a li'l more willin' talkin' to yah, I mean, he always was."

"That was before."

"Not like that kinda love changes."

"Tommy, don't make it weird," you groaned.

"C'mon," he insisted, "I traded those boots for Joel; he's in the shed, probably tryna glue the soles of his back together."

"Nah, you're comin' with me, y'all gotta kiss and make up."

"Hang on, Y/N," Tommy halted you, glancing around before lowering his voice. "Joel said he's gotta take Ellie to the university t'meet with the Fireflies. She's apparently some muck's daughter, but I don't know if he was tellin' the truth."

"Well, she told me clearly he's not her daddy. He say why they needed down there?"

"Somethin' with Marlene, he wasn't too specific, darlin'."

You frowned and lead the way around the building, crunching through the snow. When you entered the work shed, Joel was sitting on a lone stool with a few tools spread around him; an abandoned boot left to the side. He perked up as if a deer in headlights when he saw you, lips pulling in a small, reassuring smile as you neared the work bench to set the new boots down. "Tommy said I'd find yah here," you mentioned softly, gesturing to his brother by the door. "Here, figured you'd wanna toss them ol' things out so Tommy saved you the trouble and traded for these."

Joel sighed through his nose and nodded silently, going back to his work; hating how effortless and comfortable you seemed to be, hating that there was tension with him and you, him and Tommy; wanting so desperately to go back to how everything once was. Joel just wanted his family back, but he understood, things would never go back to how they were. No matter how much he wished it, no matter how hard he tried, no matter who he prayed to.

"I'll just - leave you two to it," you tried to back out, motioning your brother-in-law forward.

"Nah, babygirl, stay," Tommy prevented your escape, finally facing his brother; who wouldn't admit the flood of relief he felt hearing your old nickname. "Look, I shouldn't have said what I said. I don't even believe it. I know you're happy for me, it's just... It's complicated for you. Both of you," he looked at you as you leaned on a separate workbench, "and I'm sorry." Joel couldn't look Tommy in the eye, opting down at his folded hands; picking at a few callouses.

"Joel?" You asked softly, but his head did not lift.

"This ride to the university, is it a suicide mission?"

You straighten up, crossed your arms, and dropped your head as your lips rolled between your teeth. That word... That word triggered a barrage of thoughts you'd suppressed decades ago. Behind your eyelids, you had flashes of memory to just a few days post Outbreak...

Survivors had been rounded up into triage tent cities, and that day, you had limped into your tent just in time to see a gun pointed at Joel's temple. You remember screaming his name, which in turn made him flinch, but the trigger had already been pulled. You had dropped to your knees at his side, sobbing uselessly, whipping off your dirty shirt to press to the weeping wound on his temple.

You hated those memories.

You hated that the pain he endured was so raw and tangible that he thought that was his only option.

You hated that he never bothered to say goodbye.

You hated him for (almost) doing that - but only for a time. After the initial anger passed, you understood better than anyone why he felt the need to "opt out", never trying to hold it against him whilst trying to cope with him never trusting you with those thoughts or feelings. But the fact remained: he was willing to off himself without a single word to you or Tommy. It was hard to get over something like that, especially after losing your daughters in such a violent, back-to-back manner.

"No," Tommy answered Joel's query. "It's dangerous, but it's nothing you can't handle. Just prepare and do what you do."

"You've had people go that way and come back?" Joel asked.

"All of 'em - "

"Don't lie t'him, Tommy," you spoke stoically, staring at your feet as both Miller brothers looked over at you. "Goin' down t'the university ain't all easy, Joel," you lamented, meeting his teary gaze, "and even some of our rangers don't make it back - there's Infected, sure, but out here, the people are much more dangerous. They're righteously savage... Even a few rumors of cannibal factions. Might not be a total suicide mission, but it's not really worth the risk, especially now with winter set in. Desperate times create desperate people."

Joel dropped his head, "Thanks f'the truth, doll."

"But hey," you tried to cover your tracks under Tommy's pointed stare, "when you have experienced rangers like Tommy or I go, there's never been any issue. We come back without a single scratch, often without seein' a single livin' thing. Yeah?"

"That's right," Tommy agreed, but you both couldn't look away from the dejected shell that was Joel Miller.

Your head cocked with furrowed brows, sharing a look with Tommy when Joel just remained silent. "Joel? Why do you need t'get t'the university? This have anythin' t'do with Ellie and Marlene?" Joel looked like he wanted to answer, but the swelling in his throat stopped him. You encouraged softly, "C'mon, darlin', 's just Tommy and I - you can tell us the truth. What's goin' on?"

A pause.

"She's immune," Joel admitted, stopping time; staring up at his brother with a silent plea before turning his sights on you.

"Say again?" You asked breathlessly.

"Ellie," He explained, watching you nod. "She got Infected but she didn't get sick."

You scoffed, "Yeah, all right, so we're chasin' ghost stories now? C'mon, baby, we don't - "

"It's not a ghost story, Y/N, it's real, it's fucking real - like you always said," he insisted, watching you and Tommy exchange unsure looks. "Tommy, Y/N," he tried to rein in your attention, but his brother was staring out the door's window as if to judge how quick he could get to the cantina to save his wife and unborn child from a potential Infected child. "Tommy," he spoke a little gruffer, earning his brother's attention again, "I saw her get bit myself. That was months ago... Months."

You chuckled, shaking your head, "Nah, 'cause that can't be, all right? There's no such thing as - "

"She's immune," Joel emphasized.

"She can't be," you still refused, "it's not a real thing. I searched, Joel, I tired - "

"Hang on," Tommy sighed at you, rounding around the tables to pull out a stool and take his seat. "Let's just hear him out, babygirl. Gotta be worth at least that much, right? He came all this way - and Marlene told Ellie 'bout you. You've been searchin' for a cure - "

"I gave that up," you scoffed.

"Still - let's hear him out."

You just stared at Joel for a long moment, then hoisted yourself to sit on top of the workbench. "All right. All right, fine, yeah, I guess I've heard some pretty hard-to-believe things in my life, why not add another?"

"That's the spirit," Tommy encouraged, readjusting in his seat, gesturing at his brother to go on.

"From the beginning, Joel, and don't skip a Goddamn detail," you frowned at your estranged husband.

"It was Marlene," Joel started. "She hired us to smuggle Ellie to some Fireflies. It went bad. Tess got bit... She made me swear to take the kid. It was her dyin' wish, even said... Said I had to - sayin' I owed that much." A tear fell as he told you, "Said it was a way towards absolution, like we wanted, doll. What the hell was I supposed to do?"

You saw the struggle in his eyes and heard the tremble in his voice, nodding slowly as if to validate his decision. Joel sniffled, continuing, "We made it as far as K.C., and then..."

"And then?" You asked softly, hanging off every word.

"You know, she saved my life there from another kid. Five years ago, I would've destroyed him. But she had to shoot him to save me." Both you and Tommy bowed your heads at this, reminded of your own years in the wild. "14-years-old. Because I was too slow and too fuckin' deaf to hear him comin'... And I saw," he paused, shaking his head to clear the thoughts away, "I saw a man kill his own brother to save her, while I just watched. And today, I thought that dog was gonna tear her apart because it smelled somethin' on her," his voice wobbled, tears in his eyes mounting; emotion clawing at his chest. "And all I did was stand there. I couldn't move. I couldn't think of anythin' to say. I just... I was so afraid," Joel admitted tearfully. Tommy readjusted again, his eyes locked with yours as if having a telepathic conversation - which you might as well have been. You both believed Joel. "You think I can still handle things, but... I'm not who I was. I'm weak." And your heart shattered at the words directed at your husband's little brother. "Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere and... My heart... Feels like it's stopped."

You wanted to open your mouth and scream at him how wrong he was, that he was the strongest man you had known, but the truth was... You didn't know Joel anymore. When you left years ago, you had just barely settled in Boston after years wondering the wilderness; years of slaughter, years of savagery, years of ruthlessness. Years of betraying your fellow man in the wake of this Infection - turning against rational logic and becoming that which haunted your waking and dreaming moments.

You had been ashamed of what you did. Who your anger turned you into. What your husband did - and encouraged others to do as well. Those who followed your group turned to a life of murdering and pillaging and rampaging. They did as Joel did; did as you and Tommy had done, but you seemingly wisened up first.

So, you left, and in turn, inspired others to break away, too. Tommy turned to the Fireflies, but Joel and Tess turned to a life of smuggling. It seemed the only thing left to boost their morale, gave them some kind of purpose in the Boston QZ.

"And I have dreams," Joel continued, shaking you from memories of the past. "Every night."

"What kinda dreams?" Tommy asked his brother.

"I don't know. I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up, I've lost somethin'," now, the tears strangled him. "I'm failin' in my sleep, it's all I do. It's all I've ever done - just look at what I did to you, Y/N, what I did to you and our girls," tears rapidly broke his waterline, "our gorgeous, innocent girls - I failed you and then I failed them. And now all I ever do is fail her, again and again."

"You want us to take her," Tommy realized first.

"I'm just gonna get her killed, I know it. I know it. I have to leave her."

"Yeah? You 'have' to leave?" You found your voice, sounding angry, but when Joel looked at you, he found tears in your eyes as well. "You thought you had t'leave us, too, and how well did that work? Joel - "

"It's why you left, right, baby? It's why you both took off on me, right? To make up for the things we did?" With a shake of your head, you looked away, Joel focusing on his brother, "Well, here's your chance to bring your kid into a better world. You're younger than me. You're still strong, you said it yourself, you'll come back. You have to take her. And Y/N, you left in search of redemption, of absolution - I'm giving that to you after I took so much of your innocence. Forced you into a world of hurt, right? I need you t'do this, it's all you've wanted, please, let me give this to you."

Except, Tommy looked distraught for a long moment; throat swollen as his eyes found yours. You reached out to pet the back of his head, sighing, "Tommy can't take her, Joel. He's got too much t'lose now, but, uh... I-I can. I can go, I can take her."

"Babygirl's made the most trips out of all of us," Tommy explained. "She always comes back... She should go, Ellie would be safest with her."

You nodded and Joel rushed, "But you can't tell anyone, not even Maria." Tommy looked ready to argue, but Joel told you two, "Tommy, Y/N, you two are the only ones I trust, if anyone else sees those bite marks on her, what's under her skin, they'll shoot her."

Joel could almost see the way your mind reeled back 20 years prior to when Sarah had been shot; dying right in front of you both with her blood staining your skin. How neither of her parents were able to save her.

"It's the last thing I'll ever ask of you - either of you," Joel rushed. "I swear."

You sighed, looking down at Tommy, but he was already looking at you. "You're not goin', Tommy," you decided, "gotta stay here with Maria. But, uh... Yeah," you told Joel, "yeah, all right, I'll take her out at dawn. But on one condition."

"Anything."

"You tell that girl the truth. She doesn't deserve no type of lie or half-assed answers. Tell her the truth, Joel."

"I will," he whimpered.

"Tommy, give us a minute, would yah, babe?" You whispered, patting your brother-in-law on the shoulder.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go on, can catch the end of the movie," you encouraged.

"You know, I can go with y'all - "

"Not a chance in hell," you smirked, "Maria would have my hide. Go on now, git," you shooed, waiting until he was out of the shed before sitting in his vacant stool. "Now, Joel..."

"I know it's insane, I know how it all sounds - "

"That's not it," you cut him off with a frown. "I'm concerned about you, honey. You say you have these dreams every night, but I know that's a lie - just look at yah! Look as if you haven't known sleep in fuckin' months."

"I guess, I haven't? Maybe even in 15 years..."

"Mhm," you hummed before sighing and bowing your head. "Look," you decided, "I'll do what needs done - I'll do whatever you ask of me. You know I will. But I think you and I need t'clear the air, get some truths between us."

"Okay. Like what?"

"Like why the hell you really came all the way out here?"

He stared at you for a moment, shrugging, "T'find Tommy."

"Mhm, why'd you wait until now?"

"I wasn't - we didn't have a car battery until Bill and Frank's."

"Right, and then?"

"Got attacked in K.C.. Been on foot since then."

You sighed, "And Tess? She gonna pop up out here, too? Lookin' for you? The way we stay safe, Joel, is bein' smart - "

"She's dead, remember? Got bit..."

"Well, with this whole immune thing, just thought I'd clarify." There was a suspended silence for several heartbeats. "You all right? I know she was special to yah."

Joel shrugged, "Hurt more when you left..."

"Don't try t'flatter me now, I'm already takin' the kid - "

"I'm serious, baby, please," he insisted. "Yeah, fuckin' hurt when Tess got bit, but nothin' hurt like what happened to us. To our family."

You nodded, "Listen, about that..."

"What?"

You sighed deeply, rubbing your hands together before admitting, "I've had a lot of time t'think about all that went down. And for any and all parts I played, I am sorry." His eyes filled with tears again. "I knew you were struggling after," you paused, swallowing harshly, "you know, a-after Sarah and Delilah, and instead of us tryna figure shit out together, we let our anger take control."

"Not like we had any other option."

"We did," you nodded. "Bein' out here? Helpin' build this place? Meetin' all these people? Yeah," you scoffed, "there were other options, but our anger made us blind. Ain't all our fault... But for what we did? Joel - "

"I know," he rushed, wiping his cheeks. "I know, it was fucked."

"More than fucked. We murdered people, Joel."

"I remember."

"I'm haunted by it, I keep - fuck's sake," you laughed ruefully. "I keep tryna make up for it all. You know? Out here, I'm alive, I'm able and capable, but at night, yeah, darlin', I'm haunted, too. No amount of good I put into this world is ever gonna make up for the horrors we committed."

"And now?"

You nodded and huffed, "Now, it looks like I get one last shot at redemption. This girl, this... Ellie. She really immune?"

"Hand to God, I swear she is. She got bit when Tess did, and while Tess' wound turned dark and started to fester - her's was clean. Just barely a mark by then."

"Jesus," you considered. "It's what we've all been waiting for, huh?"

"It's what you've been searchin' for," he agreed.

"No shit. All right, well, how 'bout that?" You cleared your throat, asking, "Why the university?"

"Firefly doctors and shit - thinkin' they can, I don't even know, like..."

"Like, what? Find a-a cure? Ain't no curin' this shit - I mean, at most, it'd be like a vaccination."

"Then that's what it is. Listen, sugar, you sure about this? Taking her, I mean?"

"Joel," you half-smiled, "I've been unsure of a lot of things since we lost our girls, but the idea that I can give other parents - like Tommy and Maria - more time with their kids? That's a risk I gotta take. For Sarah and Delilah, right?"

"For Sarah and Delilah," he agreed, the tears cracking his stony exterior again. You stood swiftly and opened your arms as you stepped into him; Joel shooting out of his seat to meet you. He latched his arms around your waist, sobbing into your neck and shoulder. "I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so fuckin' sorry. F-For fuckin' everything - "

"Shhh," you shushed him, tears of your own surfacing to stream down your cheeks. "Hey, 's all right. You're here now, you're here, finally with me, it's all right, Joel. You're okay."

"I'm so sorry, so fuckin' sorry. For how I was when you were pregnant and after, I never should've - and-and now, we don't get the chance t'be with them and it's my fault for wasting that time - "

Your heart felt lighter as you admitted, "I forgave you a long time ago, baby. It's okay."

Joel held on all the tighter. He didn't deserve forgiveness, but God, did he crave it. He wanted absolution, to be absolved of his past; even before the Outbreak, he wasn't perfect. But to hear you forgive him shattered him into fragments he'd never glue back together. Because he knew, deep in his soul, he didn't deserve it.

Perhaps, maybe you knew he didn't deserve forgiveness, too. But you had no place to judge, that wasn't your job; so, you did the only thing you could and forgave him. How could you move forward if still stuck in the past? Look at Joel now: haunted, depressed, panicked. He still dwelled in a time that would never come again, but you didn't want to turn out like that, so you welcomed forgiveness.

It made you feel lighter. Brighter.

So, whether it was selfish of you or not, whether he deserved it or not, you forgave him.

And in that tool shed, for at least another hour, you stood there, crying, petting the other's hair in soothing motions; rambling about moving forward now that he was finally with you again. Joel hated to admit it, but a small part of him felt happy... Elated... Excited for whatever was to come - because he had you back.

For years, he thought you were dead. For years, he grieved. For years, he let his self-hatred grow and fester; in turn, hurting those around him because the concept of forgiving himself was impossible.

And now, 21 years of turmoil was buried in the snow as you sobbed how much you missed each other. How life would look different from here out. How this mission with Ellie would be your last - the final step towards redeeming yourselves for the hateful, savage behavior of your pasts. Joel never thought he'd feel this feeling again, but here you were, in his arms, hand thread through his greying curls; promising that you would stay by him if he stayed by you.

A vow renewal of sorts.

Joel had to bite his tongue to stop from scolding you that you shouldn't cave this easily - but he understood, it wasn't easy. 15 years since you saw him, 21 since you've been a real couple; this decision wasn't easily made, and he could acknowledge that.

"C'mon," you mused, lacing your hand with his, "you've got some explainin' t'do t'the kid and I've gotta pack. And then, you're gonna get a shower with hot water and soap, and then you're gonna crawl in bed with me, and we're gonna sleep."

"Sounds too good t'be true, darlin'."

"What? A shower and a bed is farfetched but immunity isn't?" You teased, tugging his hand to lead him out.

"No... Bein' with you again just doesn't feel real."

"Well, believe it, baby. Aht! Boots!"

For the first time in possibly 21 years, Joel actually laughed. He let you discard his old, worn-out, falling-apart boots and laced his brand new ones on; once more taking your hand, and heading into the night. He glanced around the courtyard, musing, "So, where'd you get the Christmas shit?"

"Carefully," you teased. "But the kids make most of the wreaths."

"Art projects?"

"Yeah. It's a sliver of normalcy - not that they ever know it. Honestly, most of the decorations are for the adults, it reminds them of what once was. It's nostalgic, comforting."

"Yeah... Yeah, somethin' like that. Oh, uh, speaking of decor bein' for the adults, I, uh, I brought you somethin'."

"You... You brought me a present?" You scoffed. "You didn't even know I was out here - that I was alive!"

"I-I guess I brought it for me, but now that you're here, I want you to have it. To remind us of our girls... If that's okay?"

"Well, you know me, darlin' - I never say no to presents," you teased with a grin, squeezing his hand.

[ pt. 2: read here ]

[ part one: Not So Heavenly Surprise: read here ]

requesting rules and masterlist

TLOU masterlist

[plussizefantasia]

CozyTober Day 1: Borrowing a Jacket

Logan Howlett x Reader

WC: ~0.7k

a/n: I loved doing flufftober last year so I thought I'd give it a shot again this year, expect 31 days of cozy vibes and hot men <3

warnings: none

CozyTober divider credits @strangergraphics

The grounds of the X-Mansion are gorgeous in the fall. The shift in colors bathes the garden in a visual warmth unmatched by the other three seasons of the year. Walking the well-worn paths in the morning light gives you a sense of peace that you have yet to find anywhere else. 

You clutch your mug in between your hands and continue your stroll, past the small pound and under the canopy of trees. The beverage warms you from the inside out and in this moment you feel content. At this moment there are no yelling children. No bickering adults. There is no mission to go on or mutant to save. There is just you, and the trees, and the wind, and the birds. 

You stand at the edge of an expansive clearing, staring out into the trees on the other side, and think. You think about important things like your friendships and your plans for the future and you think about not-so-important things like what to have for dinner and whether or not to do your laundry today. But like always your thoughts seem to drift to the man you left sleeping in bed this morning. 

You can’t exactly pinpoint the moment when Logan took over your thoughts, perhaps it was after he kissed you for the first time, and you felt suddenly alive after years of going through the motions. Or maybe it was when your realized just how well the two of you clicked, when he moved into your room and everything was so delightfully easy. Or maybe there wasn’t a specific moment, maybe it was a collection of moments that slowly took over your brain until you couldn’t go more than an hour without thinking of him and everything that entails.

You're brought out of your musing by rough hands that you know well. Hands that act as a balm to your soul and ground you in the present. Right now, they act as mini furnaces. When did you get so cold? You can feel the goosebumps on your arms but don’t remember feeling them come up. You feel it now though, the slight bite of the wind at your skin.

“Thought I’d find you out here.” The gruff voice of your man drifts on the very wind that stings you.

“I usually am at this hour.” You turn in his hold so that the two of you are chest to chest. You curve yourself against him, he radiates heat and right now you could use some. “Though, you are usually still sleeping right about now.” You mumble into his chest.

“I woke up when you left. You didn’t grab your coat.” His hands rub up and down your back, easing the bumps back into your skin.

You look at him and raise an eyebrow. “You came all the way out here to scold me for not bringing a jacket, and you didn’t bring my jacket with you?” 

“Don’t be stupid. ‘Course I brought a jacket bub.” Logan removes his arms from around you and you lean further into him chasing the heat. You watch though as he shucks off his own corduroy coat and wraps it around you. All he has on underneath is a plain white tee and you scoff. You try to shed the jacket. Insisting that you’ll be fine.

“But you’ll be cold.”

“I promise you that I will survive the walk back. You on the other hand were trembling like a leaf when I got here so.” 

“Well… thank you.” You place a kiss on his cheek and grab his hand. You start pulling him back towards the mansion, not wanting him to be cold for any longer than he has to be.

“Lo?” You breathe into the silence that had settled between you.

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.”

He doesn’t say anything. But he pulls you by your hand closer to him and places a kiss on your head. You feel warm.

[pixiepipedreams]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — nobody's promised tomorrow // gi-hun x reader

♡  ⁄  pairing: gi-hun x reader ♡  ⁄  warnings & tags: fem!reader, canon-typical violence & death, major character death (reader dies), age gap (reader is 20-22, gi-hun is late 40s, early 50s) season 1 ♡  ⁄ wordcount: 3.1k ♡  ⁄ summary: you and gi-hun had bonded early in the games, his goofy friendliness drawing you in like a moth to the flame. side-by-side, you made it through most of the games. but, finding yourself mortally wounded after glass stepping stones, you realize you won't be making it to the end with him. he used your age gap like a wall to prevent anything more to rise between you, but you know your interest in him is reciprocated. now, it's your last chance to admit to everything you feel for him.

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵ ﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

It was your fault, maybe, for thinking these games were fair at their core. That was the thing that kept you going, through all of it - Red Light Green Light, Tug of War, Honeycomb, even Marbles. Everyone was an equal, here. The one man who cheated was garishly strung up, bloody and horrific, for everyone to see. It had made you feel violently ill, but at the same time, it reassured you. Just like everyone else, you had a fair chance.

Nothing about this is fair.

Quiet guilt eats away at you for keeping your wound a secret through dinner. You made it through the last game in the nick of time, and before you could even celebrate, the glass exploded. Your world became narrowed down to a sharp, blinding pain in your stomach. You didn't have time to look and see, just covering it with a jacket and hoping for the best.

When the three of you returned to the dormitories, you huddled on your bed, watching as Gi-hun and Sang-woo started arguing the way only childhood friends and siblings can. But the foundational moral difference between them is a hurdle that neither can jump, and you wouldn't be able to stop the argument if you tried.

Gi-hun is an optimist, an idealist, who believes in the good in people. So are you, but... you know that Sang-woo is the only reason Gi-hun is alive right now. You don't know if you would have had the stomach to push that guy, but it saved him.

The guards come in, effectively stopping the argument. They're carrying three black boxes with a gift bow on each. "Players, we sincerely congratulate and commend you all for successfully making it through the first five games. The three of you are now the finalists and as such, we have prepared a special gift for each of you. Before we reveal the gift, please take a moment to change into the outfits we have brought."

You're grateful to be the only girl left, getting the bathroom to yourself. You undress carefully, and it takes a moment to will yourself to even look at your stomach.

The glass piece embedded in your stomach was too large to be anything but fatal. Your hands shook as you pulled it out, crying out in pain. You feel weak, head spinning, and it takes all of your willpower to not crumble. You rip up your shirt into strips, each movement making you grit your teeth in pain. Trembling hands wrap each strip tightly around your abdomen, tears stinging your eyes, until you've patched it up enough to maybe stop the bleeding.

You can only hope that it's actually enough.

Your blood stains your hands, even after you wash them - or maybe it's a trick of the eyes, your very soul feeling stained. You splash your face with water, change into the suit from the gift box, and leave the restroom.

The dinner is tense, silent. The food smells delicious, and it's probably expensive, but it makes your stomach turn. You manage to eat half of your plate, knowing that if you survive, you'll need your strength.

Your eyes keep flicking to Gi-hun, watching him as he watches Sang-woo.

Gi-hun had come into this game with such bumbling light that it had been impossible not to be drawn to it. He always seemed to be smiling, or in motion, or trying to make someone laugh. He made everything, even this dire place, brighter.

And if the sparkle in his eyes caused a fluttering in your chest... that's something you couldn't admit to.

Sometimes, you liked to fool yourself into thinking that he looked at you with interest, sometimes. You'd bonded quickly, trying to keep up morale, and sometimes, you'd catch a lingering gaze from him. He was always quick to point out how young you are - too young to be in a place like this, but you've been living on your own as an adult since 18. You know how the world works, the toll it takes on you.

He's old enough to be your father, but he's nowhere near as jaded and cynical as that man is. Gi-hun is all things light and good about the world. He's made mistakes, ones that have piled up, but so have you, haven't you? You wouldn't be in a place like this if you weren't.

So he kept a barrier between the two of you, even as he let you creep closer and closer to him, as he let you cry in his arms one night, or gave you half his share of food. Too young, too young, too young. It felt like more of an excuse, than anything else. And you joked right back, calling him an old man, saying he has too much life experience.

But as the games went on, his smile slowly became less frequent. It took him a moment to laugh, like he'd forgotten it was allowed. Especially after the death of Il-nam.

His gaze became harder. And now, that gaze is focused on Sang-woo.

The steak knife feels like a warning, a bad omen, and you know you wouldn't have the strength to push its sharp edge into someone's body right now, but you take it to your bed, anyways.

It doesn't surprise you that Gi-hun walks over to join you, sitting on the ground beside you and staring across the room at his old friend.

You feel so, so tired. But you're terrified that if you fall asleep, you won't wake up.

Your hand reaches over, touching his shoulder, wishing he'd let you touch him more than that. You want to sink your hand into his full hair, press your forehead to his, curl up in his lap. You want to kiss him, to forget everything - you may as well admit it now, at least to yourself.

"Gi-hun," you murmur, squeezing his shoulder. "Promise me something?"

He doesn't react for a moment, then slowly looks up at you. "What?" Something in his eyes seems to settle, the longer he looks at you, but he's still on edge, wary. Something else, too - protective.

"Whichever one of us gets out... we take care of each other's family. Your mom and daughter, my siblings back home." It's hard to keep the wobble out of your voice, the knowledge that you've been sitting with that you won't make it to morning.

Gi-hun stares up at you, eyes softening at the edges. "Of course, I promise. But it doesn't matter, we're both making it out of here. We just have to outlast him." He turns to look at Sang-woo again, and you can't bear it, how these games have changed him so much. You cup his cheek, turning his head back to look at you.

His eyes go wide with surprise, but he doesn't look away. He just swallows. "Gi-hun," you say, again, like his name alone could save you. "There's... there's so many things I haven't said, I--"

"Why are you saying all this?" he asks, his brows furrowing, concern entering his expression. His hand reaches out to grab your waist, and you stifle a cry of pain.

He almost never reaches out to touch you on his own. You can count on one hand the times his hand has grabbed your arm, or brushed a strand of hair away from your face, or found your own. You don't even need all 5 fingers. His eyes go wide, and he pushes himself up, squatting next to you, his hand pushing aside the suit jacket. Blood seeps through the white button-down, staining you.

You smile weakly. If these games were fair, the glass wouldn't have hit you. You would have been safe, once you made it to the other side. What a dumb way to die, after everything. You didn't even lose the damn game.

"(Y/N)--" he gets out, voice choked, and he tugs up the shirt, a desperate look in his eyes. It would make you blush, if you hadn't already lost so much blood. If this were a different life, and he was pulling up your shirt for any other reason. He stares at your makeshift bandaging, a tremor in his hand as he brushes the blood on the skin of your stomach. "What happened?"

"Glass hit me," you say, eyes searching his expression. You couldn't take your eyes off of him even if you wanted to. "I... I don't think I'll make it to morning," you add, voice hushed, like it's a secret. And, even if you do make it to tomorrow, you definitely won't have enough strength for the final game. Gi-hun can only protect you so much.

Gi-hun's wide eyes instantly flick up to meet yours, his lips slightly parted in a hopeless little look. You want to kiss his sadness away. "Don't say that," he murmurs, his free hand rising up to cup your cheek. You instantly lean into the touch, wishing it could melt everything else away.

You sigh, eyes slightly glazed but focused solely on his face, wondering if it would be peaceful to die in his arms. Comforting.

Gi-hun notices how you stare at him... like he's the last thing you want to see. Your face is pale, even your lips almost colorless, and he knows, deep in his gut, that you're right. The blood has soaked through the fabric of your makeshift bandage, is smeared on his other hand. So many thoughts race through his mind - that you're the last person who deserved this, how nothing in this world is fair, how he wishes... wishes... He gently brushed your hair away from your face as his fingers slowly caress your cheek. He's trying desperately, futilely, to keep a tight lock on his emotions, his heart hammering. But panic is setting in, and something that feels an awful lot like heartbreak - no, scratch that. His heart is shattering.

"Please." His eyes scanned your face, committing every detail to memory. "Don't go."

His shaky words hit you like a large shard of glass to the stomach. Tears slip out of your eyes, tracing a path down your cheeks. You'd stay if I you could. "You've already watched 453 people die, Gi-hun," you say, aiming for a light tone. As if anything about this situation could be light. "What's one more?"

"It's different, you know it is, I--" He cuts himself off, clamping his lips shut, his big sad eyes never leaving your face.

You smile shakily. "What would it have been like, if we met somewhere else, anywhere else? Out in the real world?" It's impossible, now, to keep your feelings for him out of your mind, out of your gaze, out of your words. You need him to know, know that whatever he feels for you - and you know he feels something that he refuses to admit to - you return it tenfold.

Gi-hun's eyebrows draw together, his lips slanting uncertainly. "I don't know..." he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. "You're... you're so young..."

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. Trying to be strong. Brave. His words are an admission to that underlying something, and you can understand that the reality of your age gap might be too much. But you want to live in the fantasy, the impossible world where you would be allowed to act on your feelings. Not the world where you're dying in his arms. "I think... you'd come into the convenience store I worked at. Just every once in a while. but then, you'd start showing up more, and we'd talk." You give a shaky laugh, sniffling, heart aching. "You do love talking, even to people you don't know. Used to be such a chatterbox, when these games started. And I'd look forward to your every late night visit. I'd have such a big crush one you-" You cut yourself off, taking a shaky breath, more tears slipping down your cheeks. "But I would know, even in that world you'd never let yourself want me back. Too young for you."

Gi-hun stares at you with parted lips, his eyes wide in shock. The unspoken thing between you, finally being voiced, it's too much. His eyes are teary, and you still have tears sliding down your cheeks. "Maybe you're right," he whispers. "I'm... so much older than you. I don't think anyone as young as you, so full of life, should end up with someone like me..."

You huff out a breath. You're not exactly full of life, now. Time is running short, the sand falling away to almost nothing. You sigh softly, gripping his bloody hand. "So we're doomed, in every life?" you ask shakily. "I'm dying, Gi-hun. And you still can't let yourself want me back." Your breath catches, and you feel so weak, resting your head on his shoulder. "I wouldn't care, how old you are. Maybe I'd ask you to get a drink with me, one night, if I got off early. And I'd buy us soju, and we'd talk. And when I was tipsy enough, bold enough, courageous enough… I'd try to kiss you." You swallow. "I think you'd let me kiss you, for just a moment. Maybe you'd slip, kiss me back. Just for a moment, a single, perfect moment. But then you'd pull away. And maybe you'd leave, telling me you're too old for me. But I'd want you all the same."

Gi-hun squeezes your hand tightly, and you're grateful you can't see the anguish on his face. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd pull away, after a moment," he replies quietly, but that's an admission too. He would allow the kiss, could see himself kissing back. "I'd walk away. I'd have to."

You can see it so perfectly, the late night in the city, outside a bar. "But I wouldn't want you to. Maybe I'd chase after you. In the street, late at night, the pavement wet from rain that's still falling…. I wouldn't want to let you go." You feel choked, but you can't stop talking, more tears rising and falling. "I'd tell you that I don't care how old you are, that what I feel for you is real. That I'd be happy to be yours. I'd tell you that just because you think you're too old, too fucked up for me, that it doesn't matter. That every day when I saw your goofy face, my life became a little brighter. That you made me so happy, that... that I wanted to be yours. That you deserve happiness. I'd ask... I'd ask if you thought I could make you happy, if I wasn't so much younger than you..." Your throat is too choked up to continue, tears strangling you, your own emotions threatening to overwhelm you.

His voice is raspy and low when he replies. "It doesn't matter. You're too young, too young to want me."

You give a humorless laugh. "See, but then I'd point out that you're not playing the game right. If I wasn't too young for you… do you think you'd be happy, being with me? If you kept insisting I was too young, that's… that's not the same thing as saying you don't want me, my Gi-hun."

His breath stutters, a sob-like sound slipping from his throat, as if you're dismantling every defense he has. "Yes," he whispers, the confession wrenched from him. "I'd be happy. I'd be the happiest man... if I could have you."

Something rattling inside your chest settles, feeling laid to rest. Your body slumps slightly against his, your face burrowing in his neck. "If I kissed you again, right then and there... would you push me away again? Would you let me? Would you kiss me back?"

His breath is ragged, obviously struggling with all the emotions he'd shoved away, and the reality of the situation overrides the fantasy. Still, he replies, his voice quiet and shaky. "I'd kiss you back. I'd... I'd pull you closer... and it would be too late, for me. I'd never let you go."

You sigh, the idea comforting you. Maybe it's all in your head, a shared fantasy, but it's yours. And his. "In that life, I think we'd make each other so happy. We'd be poor, but happy," you whisper.

He cups your cheek, pulling your head away from his neck. His face swims in your vision, and you fight to focus, focus on him and him alone. His other hand squeezes yours. He gazes deep into your eyes, every flicker of emotion obvious on his face. He's fighting his feelings, like he has been for days now, but for once, he's losing the battle. His breath shakes.

You make the first move, like you always seem to. With every last ounce of strength, you lean in and capture his lips with your own. You want this, want everything with him, but you know that all you have is this moment. So you kiss him, with every ounce of yourself that is left.

His breath is ragged, and he kisses you back with the same desperate edge of your own lips. He kisses you like he's starving, like he's trying to remember every last detail. His other hand slips from yours, wrapping around you, careful to not hold you too tight and hurt you further. He makes a small noise as he deepens the kiss, and you can feel the wetness of your cheeks, but you can't tell which one of you is crying.

You press your now free hand to his chest, over his heart. Your own heart is pounding as much as it can, but it's still a weak flutter compared to his. Everything about him tastes alive, and you give a small whimper, trying to forget everything else. You don't know if you believe in heaven, but if this is the closest you'll get, you don't mind.

"Gi-hun," you whisper between kisses, and he moans faintly, his hand sliding into your hair.

He whispers your name, over and over, like a prayer, a desperate plead. You press your forehead to his, trying not to sob. "I-I should have done that so long ago, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry (Y/N)--"

"Yes, you should have," you whisper, trying to infuse some light-heartedness into your tone, your hand stroking his face. "But I love you, even when you're a coward." If it's your last chance to say it, you may as well admit that you love him. "Win, for me. And once you've won, don't forget me. And don't forget yourself. Don't forget how special you are, how kind you are, how you deserve to be happy, to be loved. I would love you for the rest of my life if I could." You smile sadly. "Well. I guess I am, loving you for the rest of my life."

Gi-hun gives a broken noise, clinging to you desperately. You can see the tears falling down his face, mirroring your own. "I could never forget you," he whispers, his eyes wide, filled with anguish. "I--" His voice chokes up, and he kisses your cheeks.

It's okay, that he can't say it back. Your eyes slip shut, and you're so tired, so damn tired. You have nothing left inside you. Everything fades but his touch, the world feeling like a distant dream.

Faintly, you hear him sob, can feel his hands cling to your face, your arm. Your face is pressed against your chest, and even that feels far away, detached, like it's happening to someone else.

The last words you hear - or maybe it's your mind, making up what you want to hear in your final moments - are him whispering your name. "I-I love you too, I love you, (Y/N), please..."

It all slips away, like a dream. Horrible and perfect at the same time.

[izzih22]

one shot : paige is in the w and azzi is living with her in dallas and paige goes away for an away game and she and azzi are just cute when she gets home

Home in You (1/2)

Thanks for the prompt. I think I’m going to turn this into a small series. So I hope you enjoy the first part!! SIDE NOTE: the following is completely somewhat fictional.

Paige’s POV

I stepped off the plane, the familiar smell of Dallas air greeting me, and I couldn’t wait to get home. After a long away trip with the team, I was exhausted—physically drained from the grind of practice and games, mentally worn from the constant pressure—but nothing could compare to the feeling of knowing Azzi was waiting for me back at the apartment.

I had been away for just a few days, but it felt like a lifetime. The constant travel, the noise of the crowd, the never-ending hustle… none of it mattered when I was with her. The moment we met back on Team USA as teenagers, I knew there was something different about her. She was the kind of person who made you feel like you could breathe easy, like time slowed down when she was around.

We had always been there for each other—through the highs and lows, the victories and defeats. And somehow, even though the years had gone by, even though we had both grown into our own lives and careers, it still felt like we were two teenagers discovering the world together for the first time.

And now, here we were—me, living my dream in the WNBA with the Dallas Wings, and her, on the brink of entering the draft next year, still finishing up at UConn. She’d come to Dallas for the off-season, and we’d settled into this cozy apartment that she had helped me decorate. An apartment I asked her to decorate with me so I’d feel like I was at home…

But even in the midst of the laughter, the quiet mornings, and the late-night movie marathons, there was this underlying weight to everything. It was in the way I caught myself staring at her sometimes, as if memorizing her every move—her smile, the way she brushed her hair out of her face, the way she laughed and made me feel like the world was still good.

I loved it here, but I wasn’t blind. I knew the reality of it all. Soon, she would be back at UConn. She would have to go back to school, and I would be in Dallas. We hadn’t been apart for this long ever. The thought of her leaving, of not waking up next to her every day, made my chest ache.

But for now, as I walked through the door and into the apartment that had become our home, that ache was pushed aside. Because in this moment, she was here. And that was all that mattered.

⸻

Azzi’s POV

The moment the door creaked open, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Paige was home.

I had spent the past few days counting down the hours until she returned. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my time here—I did, every minute of it. The apartment was cozy, and it felt right being with her, in this space that had become so much more than just a place to sleep. It had become our haven.

But I missed her when she was gone. Even if it was just for a few days. There was something about being in her presence, the way she made everything feel easier, lighter. I had been busy decorating, getting ready for the season, but it wasn’t the same without her.

When I saw her walk through the door, I felt like I could finally breathe again. I had missed her more than I had realized.

“Paige,” I said, a smile tugging at my lips as I watched her drop her bag and walk toward me. Her eyes softened as she took in the sight of me standing there, the familiar spark between us lighting up in an instant.

She didn’t need to say anything. She just pulled me into her arms, wrapping me up in a tight embrace. I let myself sink into her warmth, resting my head on her chest, breathing in the scent of her.

“I missed you,” she murmured, her voice low, like a secret shared just between us.

I smiled, my heart swelling. “I missed you too, baby.”

Her hand slid up to my hair, fingers brushing through it in the way that always made me melt. “It’s not the same when you’re not with me. It doesn’t feel right.”

I pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, her eyes dark with that look that always made my heart race. “It will baby just give it time. Then before you know it I’ll be with you.”

“I hate waiting.” Paige muttered and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You know you might have to play against me.” I said laughing poking her sides.

“Azzi, don’t play. Imma get my girl back where she belongs.” She said pulling me back in.

“Oh, and where is that Bueckers?” I said playing dumb.

She grinned, leaning in to kiss me softly, her lips warm and familiar. It was always like this with her—every kiss, every touch, every stolen moment felt like home. Like it had always been this way, and it always would be. But deep down, I knew it couldn’t stay like this forever.

“Right here with me.” She said as we pulled away.

“I hope so…” I whisper knowing I could and will most likely go to another team. “How was the game. You were incredible.” I say steering the conversation in a differnt direction.

Paige’s expression softened, and she shrugged. “It’s over now. I’m just happy to be here. With you.”

“Good.” I leaned into her, my fingers finding their way to the hem of her shirt, tugging it slightly. “I’ve missed this… missed you.”

She grinned, her fingers tracing along my jawline. “Yeah, me too.”

We spent the next few hours in a blissful haze, doing everything we could to savor our time together. We tried cooking dinner side by side, despite both of us having no idea what we were doing. The kitchen was a mess, but the laughter between us made it worth every chaotic minute. We finally gave up on the meal and ordered takeout, enjoying it just as much. We curled up on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms, watching some cheesy movie we both pretended to love, but we didn’t care. It was perfect.

The weight of the inevitable departure still hung in the air, but for those few hours, the outside world disappeared.

But the truth lingered at the edges of my mind. I knew that soon, she would be heading back to the grind of the season, and I would be in Connecticut, with school, and everything else waiting for me.

The thought made me want to pull her closer, never let go.

⸻

Paige’s POV

Later that night, after dinner and a few episodes of our favorite show, I found myself lying in bed with Azzi, our bodies tangled together under the covers. The room was quiet, only the soft hum of the city outside filling the silence.

I had my arm around her, pulling her close, my fingers tracing small circles on her back as she rested her head against my chest.

“Paige?” she whispered, her voice soft and hesitant, like she was afraid to say what was on her mind.

“Yeah, baby?” I responded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“I don’t want this to end,” she said, her voice barely audible.

I froze, her words catching me off guard. “What do you mean?”

She sighed, pulling herself up slightly so she could look at me, her fingers lightly grazing my cheek. “I just… I don’t want to go back to UConn. I don’t want to leave you.”

I felt my chest tighten, my own heart aching at the thought. I knew what she meant. The idea of being apart, even if it was just for a little while, was almost unbearable.

“I don’t want you to go either,” I whispered, my thumb brushing against her lips. “But… we’re both doing what we love. And we’re gonna make this work. I promise.”

She nodded, but I could see the doubt in her eyes. “I just wish… I wish we didn’t have to be apart. I hate the idea of us not being together every day.”

“I know,” I said softly, pulling her closer. “But we’ve been through this before. We can handle it. And when you come back for the off-season, we’ll pick up right where we left off.”

Azzi smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. “I hope so.”

I pressed a kiss to her forehead, holding her a little tighter. “We will. Because no matter where we are, you’re always home to me.”

She closed her eyes, resting her head on my chest again. “You’re my home too, Paige.”

And in that moment, despite the ache in my chest and the reality of the upcoming distance, I knew we were right where we were supposed to be. With each other.

Because home wasn’t a place. It was her. Always.

[yamumsyadadd]

the forgotten girl (1)

posted this originally on my old account. will be posting twice weekly :)

Emily Scott, sister of legendary lionesses Jill Scott, has died at the age of 21. Wife Amelia Scott-Higgins in intensive care. 

Police have confirmed that Emily Scott was murdered in her family home over the weekend, her wife, Matilda’s star Amelia Scott-Higgins is in intensive care after sustaining life threatening injuries. 

Waking up in a hospital bed, wrapped in bandages and in heaps of pain was not exactly how I expected my day to go but here we are. I don’t remember much. I remember going home after training, I stopped to get dinner, chicken carbonara and garlic bread from our favourite Italian restaurant and then flowers from the corner stand that Emily was obsessed with. I was already late so who cares if I was a little extra late. 

I remember the front gate being open, which is never normally the case, I remember the front door being unlocked but closed, again not normal but sometimes Em is in a rush when she gets home. As I took my shoes and coat off and wandered down the hallway, I didn’t notice the guy standing behind the door, or the guy on the couch, or Emily in the back room tied to a chair. I didn’t notice any of it. The only thing I noticed before it went black was the two wine glasses, one tipped over and smashed, the other full. 

Chelsea FC superstar, Amelia Scott-Higgins has QUIT mid season. 

CLICK TO READ MORE….

Where is football superstar Amelia Scott-Higgins?

Moving to Barcelona was the best thing I could’ve done. No one knows me,no one knows what happened or who Emily was. I am invisible. As soon as I could, I quit, left England, deleted all my social media and changed my number. 

The rehab was incredibly hard. That’s to be expected considering I have multiple stab wounds to my stomach, my leg cut up, bruises covering every part of my body. I was still me though. Maybe not on the surface but deep down I was. I missed Emily everyday, I missed our life together, I miss the little things. 

My apartment was empty. Nothing on the walls, plain furniture, it looked more like a show house than something someone would actually lived in. It didn’t bother me, it made my brain have to work less. All I did was rehab, surf and doom scroll. I came across the Manuelas instagram page, a gay bar in Barcelona. From what I’ve heard it’s incredibly popular but I’ve never been. They had a shirt available, “lesbian services”, after inquiring they allowed for me to pick it up. 

I was meeting someone called Olga, slightly worried as I had no idea who she was, I let it play out. 

“Hola! Are you Amelia?” 

“Hola, yes I am.” 

“Perfect! I’m Olga! Let me take you inside and you can get whatever you want. They said you’ve paid so you can get anything.” 

Stickers, hats, shirts, they had it all. I grabbed one of everything and then had a chat with Olga. 

“You’re not around here are you? Your Catalan and Spanish is good but the accent is a bit weird.” 

“Oh nah. I’m Australian. Lived in London for a few years but I’m here now.” 

“Oh wow! How long have you lived here?”

“3 years now. It’s beautiful. I don’t get out much but I’m trying to get out more.”

“What do you do for work? If you don’t mind me asking?” 

“Uh um, I used to play -“ 

“Amelia? Is that you?” Keira Walsh and Lucy Bronze. Right in front of me. I haven’t seen them for 3 years, purposely ignoring all of them and essentially falling off the face of the earth. 

“Amelia! What are you doing here? Give me a hug!” 

“Hey guys. Long time so see.” This is not what I wanted. More and more people started surrounding us. 

“Holy shit. That’s Amelia Scott-Higgins! She’s been MIA for so long. I miss watching her” the short one with dimples tried to whisper, it didn’t work. 

“Dude she used to be so good. What happened?” Her taller companion asked next. 

“That’s enough you two. She has ears and can hear you idiots.” Alexia Putellas. 2 time Ballon d’or and 2 time pain in my ass. “Hola Amelia. How are you?” 

“Fine thanks Alexia. And you?” 

“How do you all know each other? I am very confused here.” Olga spoke up. 

“Mil used to play for-“ Alexia started to say

“We are old friends!” This is why I don’t leave my house. 

“I need to go. I have things to do. Olga thank you so much for all this. If I owe any money let me know. Alexia, girls, it was nice to see you. Good luck this season.” Turning as quickly as I could to escape. 

“Milly, wait.”

“Kei, don’t. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

“Please can I have your number or something? It’s been 3 years and you disappeared.” 

“Give me your phone and I’ll put it in. I’m not good at replying. Bye Kei.” 

3 years since I stepped foot in England, 3 years since I buried my wife. 3 years since I’d spoken to my friends. 4 years since Emily died. 4 years since I played football, 4 years since I felt normal. 

[thewistlingbadger]

I'm going to be honest: I think one of the ways you fix season 2 is by getting rid of Warwick

Act 2 was more or less entirely dedicated to Warwick, a new character who really isn't that new bc he's actually Vander from s1. Despite the fact that he plays a heavy role in the act, his character isn't explored at all. Warwick is used in act 2 for the main purpose of reuniting Jinx and Vi. The sisters end up basically ignoring all their problems and differences and become family again solely due to Warwick's presence. If you get rid of Warwick, then the sisters don't reunite. They either stay on opposing sides or they end up reconciling later in the show, most likely due to them developing some sort of understanding for the other and by actually exploring their baggage.

Warwick is tied to Singed in this season, and through him and Viktor he's tied to Ambessa. Half of the plot in act 2 is Ambessa trying to find Warwick by using Singed to turn Warwick into the ultimate weapon. This part of the show was kinda weird and it definitely took away from the plot. If you get rid of Warwick you can actually focus on ambessa and her motives, or on ambessa and Caitlyn since their relationship is established but not developed.

The sisters end up bringing Warwick to Viktor's commune, which is how Viktor gets reintroduced to the story after not being seen for several episodes. Viktor decides to attempt to heal Warwick, but it isn't said why. We learn that Viktor's powers are suffering and that the commune isn't all that it seems, but we never get to learn anything further bc this segment isn't focused on Viktor- it's focused on Warwick. If you get rid of Warwick, you could actually focus on Viktor, his powers, his commune, his relationship with sky and the hexcore, and his motives.

At the start of act 2, we see that Vi is in a really bad place. She's fighting a lot, getting wasted, and isn't taking care of herself. We see that she has a friendship with Loris as well. However, we're not able to explore Vi's friendship or her current situation or her character bc shortly after Jinx asks Vi to help her with Warwick. If Warwick is gone then you can actually focus on Vi as a character and unpack all the shit the show has built up.

At the start of act 2, we see there's a lot of unrest in zaun. We see zaunites starting to band together and view Jinx as a symbol. This is a really cool concept that isn't explored because instead of Jinx spending the act with other zaunites, she spends it with Warwick. If Warwick is gone then we could actually explore the current politics between zaun and piltover and the effects they have.

It really doesn't make sense to have Warwick be the center of the act when he's not a main character. Hell, he isn't a character at all. He's a plot device. Literally almost everything that happens in act 2 is somehow related to him, yet he has no arch in the season. Everything he does just adds to the plot, not to the value of the story. We end up getting the most random piece of lore dropped in the middle of the season because of him. Lore that literally wasn't relevant at all to what was going on in the show and was never brought up again. I understand that season 1 hinted at Warwick being Vander but if it were up to me I'd be prioritizing the other, much more important shit that s1 set up. Not fucking Warwick. Especially since he's just Vander, an excellent character that we were done with at the start of the first season. There's no reason for him to be back. Since act two is so centered on him, the other acts had to condense and become jammed packed full of shit. But if you get rid of Warwick, you give the story space to breathe. You could have things stretched out longer and in more detail because now you have the time to! You can go into the gray and Caitlyn's dictator arc in detail because now you don't have to worry about wrapping it up before Warwick shows up.

Warwick was literally so big in the show that he took away time and development from literally every character, but especially mel, jayce, ekko, heimerdinger, and Viktor, who were rarely seen this season despite being key players from season 1. If Warwick was gone, you could actually show what happened to ekko, Jayce, and heimerdinger before act 3. You could give ekko some much needed depth and screen time. You could actually explain the black rose, which is never explained throughout the entirety of the show. You could have had Ambessa's backstory be in the show and not its own separate music video. You could have showed Mel more. If Warwick was gone, you could actually explore the characters of Caitlyn and Vi and their relationship. You could explore Sevika's character, who got pushed to the side despite her promising start. You could explore Isha as a character. You could explore lest as a character, who was introduced and then completely forgotten. You could have expanded on the chem barons instead of glossing over them.

In general, if Warwick isn't around you just have more time to do more shit. Like holy shit this is actually crazy.

[hopelesslydevoted2paige]

GET HER BACK! || PAIGE BUECKERS

summary — after a week, nika invites you to go out with the team, giving paige an opportunity to make ammends

pairings: paige bueckers x fem cheerleader!reader

word count: 822

warnings: none

authors note: hii heres part 2 of casual!! i was gonna use ivy by frank ocean for this butttt i wanna save that for a more gut wrenching fic maybe series 🤓 ENJOY!!

part 1

It was a week since the events that had happened with Paige and you guys haven’t talked since.

Paige did try to reach out the next day, calling you multiple times but you refused to answer.

It was currently three in the afternoon. Your team had half of the court to use for practice while the other half belonged to the women’s basketball team.

“Alright, let’s run it one more time!” Your coach yelled as you all got into position.

The whole routine, you could feel Paige’s eyes on you. Her eyes scanned your body, watching your every move.

“Alright girls, let’s take five then get back into it right away!” Your coach clapped as everyone scattered towards the bleachers, trying to take advantage of the break.

You sat on the bleachers, trying to catch your breath before sipping your water.

“Hey girl!” Nika greeted as the whole team walked up to you. Including Paige.

You smiled warmly at her. “Hi! How’s practice?”

“You know coach, always up in our ass during the season.” You both chuckled. “You were great out there! Right Paige?” She nudged her shoulder forcefully.

“Yeah. You were amazing.”

You smiled awkwardly. “Thanks.”

KK cleared her throat. “We were wondering if you wanted to go out with us tonight?”

You hesitated. “I don’t know-“

“Come on!” Aaliyah butt in. “We miss you.” The rest of the team agreed behind her.

You sighed, giving in. “Alright. Just send me the details later.”

“I was also wondering if we could talk?” Paige whispered as her teammates cheered and conversed on their own, the two of you going unnoticed by the others.

“Paige, I don’t think-“ You were cut off by the sound of your coach’s whistle.

“Did I say five hours?! Wrap it up and let’s run it again!”

—

“Hey Y/N!” Nika greeted you, giving you a warm hug. You could tell she was already tipsy.

“Hi Nika.” You giggled, making eye contact with Paige as you returned the hug. You could see her jaw clench once her teammate started to rub your back.

You were going to have a lot of fun with this.

You sat next to Nika, grateful she got the imaginary memo as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“Y/N!” Azzi spoke up. “You guys have nationals in a few weeks don’t you?”

You nod eagerly. “Coach has been pushing us a lot lately, we might have to be sharing the court a lot more for the next few weeks.”

“That’s fine with me!” Nika smirked. “I get to see you a lot more then.” She pulled you closer with her arm.

“Nika, you are so drunk.” You giggled, playing with her hair in hopes that Paige would notice the two of you.

The blonde wasn’t having it. She stood up and stomped towards the two of you.

“Y/N, can we talk?” She clenched her jaw.

“Uh-“ You faced Nika who motioned for you to go. “Yeah whatever.”

You stood up, following Paige to the exit, smirking to yourself.

Paige turned to face you. “Since when were you and Nika a thing?”

You scoffed. “Is that all you have to say to me?”

“No! I just-“ She groaned. “Nevermind. I wanted to apologize for everything I said that night. I didn’t mean any of it.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds. “Was that really what I meant to you? Just having fun-?”

“No!” She put her head in her hands. “This past week has been hell for me. I missed you so bad and I didn’t even realize the effect you had on me until all my friends pointed it out.”

“But-“

“Let me finish. You can say anything you want if your opinion stays the same.” She runs her fingers through her long blonde hair. “You actually cared about me, about my feelings. You were there for me when no one else was! You made me laugh and feel like I was actually worth something. And all I did, was make you feel like you were taken advantage of, and I am so fucking sorry. There’s no one else for me Y/N. Just you.”

You were in shock. You couldn’t process the words that just came out of her mouth. “Paige, I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything.” She took a step back. “You can take all the time you need. I’ll still be here waiting-“

You cut her off by wrapping your arms around her neck and kissing her with all your emotions.

You could feel her grin as she kissed you back, pulling you closer as she wrapped her arms around your waist.

“Be my girlfriend?” She grinned.”

“I gotta think about it.” You teased, furrowing your brows to make it look like you were thinking.

Paige rolled her eyes. “What a tease.”

“Should we go back inside?” You asked once you both pulled away.

“We can go to my dorm. I think I might kill Nika if she puts her hands on you one more time.”

“You were jealous!”

“No I wasn’t!”

[tealfates]

welcome!! how about kinich or scara(or anyone , its your choice ofc!) x reader hurt/comfort with an insecurity of your choice where they finds you staring into a mirror? hehe anyways good luck and now i can proudly say supporting since day 1!

-anonnie, hope to talk to you soon!

Kinich x Reader comfort <3

When it was rainy season in Natlan, everything felt dampened, muddy, and that’s how your spirits felt today, after a particularly difficult training you had pushed yourself through. The clouds overhead grew heavier by the second.

The clouds overhead grew heavier by the second. Even as they did, the storm that raged inside you seemed louder than anything the heavens could muster. You found yourself inside the bathroom of you and Kinich’s shared home, knuckles gripping the cool tile of the sink tightly as you faced yourself in the mirror, silent tears streaming down your face, almost in sync with the raindrops pattering down on the windows.

Why had everything felt so overwhelming? Why did it seem like no matter how hard you tried and trained to become better, to help fight off the abyss for Natlan, you were never good enough? You buried your face in your hands, the weight of your emotions threatening to pull you into the darkness of the abyss itself.

It was then that a soft but steady voice broke through the storm—both the one outside and within.

"Are you alright?"

You looked up, not noticing that Kinich had been standing in the doorframe, and you hadn’t realized that he had approached, footsteps silent as usual. His eyes, holding a special softness reserved only for you, looked at you with concern, his usually stoic expression now etched with subtle worry.

Kinich, always strong, calculating, useful to Natlan, didn’t deserve to witness your weakness and pitiful fit. You didn’t want him to see you like this.

"I… I’m fine," you whispered, voice shaky, though the lie tasted sharp on your tongue.

Kinich was quiet for a moment before stepping closer, his presence grounding and gentle. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. The rain outside was beginning to fall heavier now, thundering against the glass pane, but you felt safe in his arms.

"You’re not fine," he said softly, his voice almost a murmur against the backdrop of nature's fury. "I can tell."

His simple touch was warm and grounding, and it made the tears start flowing again—this time, without shame or hesitation.

"I'm sorry," you whispered through the sobs that wracked your chest. "I don't want to burden you with this…"

"You’re not a burden,” Kinich said, his voice steady, yet filled with an undeniable gentleness. You proceeded to bury your face in the fabric of his shirt, stealing his warmth with gratefulness.

Kinich remained with you without question, without judgment—just with an unspoken understanding. His hand stroked your hair softly, the motion reassuring and kind.

“Let it out,” he murmured, his breath warm against the crown of your head as he placed a soft kiss there. “Whatever it is, it’s alright to cry. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

“Everything feels so overwhelming,” you choked out. “I don’t know if I can keep up anymore with everyone. They’re all fighting hard to defend Natlan, and I’m failing, no matter how hard I try to fight.”

Kinich’s grip tightened around you, and he pulled you back just enough to meet your gaze. “You’re not failing,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for doubt. “You’re allowed to have moments like this. We all are.”

You stared at him, breath hitching in your chest as his words sunk in.“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to fall apart like this,” you whispered, voice trembling.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Kinich replied with a gentle smile, though his eyes remained serious. “You’re human. You deserve to let go, to lean on someone when you need it.”

You cried until there were no more tears left to shed, knowing that you didn’t have to face the world alone.

The rain outside had stopped, leaving nothing more than droplets on the windows, as you tilted your head up to face him. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice steady now.

He gave you a rare, soft smile in return. “Anytime.”

———————

authors note~: thank you so much anonnie! Glad to see you here from day 1 <3 I appreciate you so much!! On a different note y’all how do people get their stuff so aesthetic?? istg I need like a tumblr parent to teach me how to do this stuff hahahaha

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Toto Wolff with wife reader. Dancing under the snow at the paddock, under the light. The most romantic thing I think 🤔 Fluff /suggestive. Thanks!!! :))

Snow was not in the weather forecast for today—not that Formula 1 ever cared much about what was forecasted. Magical and slightly chaotic, just like this sport we’d made our life around.

I shivered, pulling my coat tighter around me, my breath puffing out in little clouds as the snow began to fall gently over the paddock. The race weekend had been chaotic, as usual, but now, with the last of the media cleared out and the floodlights casting a golden glow over the white flurry, there was peace.

Well, mostly peace.

Toto was standing a few feet away, talking to one of the engineers with his usual intensity. His broad shoulders were covered in a thick coat, and his breath came out in steady little clouds, punctuating whatever point he was making. I wasn’t listening to the conversation, but knowing Toto, it was probably about data sets, tire degradation, or, heaven forbid, his drivers.

I let out a small, dramatic sigh. The man could charm a room full of sponsors, negotiate with ruthless board members, and occasionally intimidate race stewards, but sometimes, he forgot I existed when there was work to be done.

“Excuse me,” I called out, tapping my foot for added effect. “Do you think you might wrap up your TED Talk on tire temperatures? Your wife is freezing to death.”

Toto turned toward me, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Freezing to death? Really? You’re standing next to a heater.”

“Details,” I shot back, pointing up at the snow that was now falling more steadily. “Are you really going to let me perish in this winter wonderland without at least a hot chocolate or a blanket?”

He murmured something to the engineer—an apology, probably—and strode over to me. “You’re being dramatic.”

“Of course I’m dramatic,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself for effect. “You married me, didn’t you?”

Toto chuckled, and the sound warmed me more than the heater ever could. He reached out to brush a few snowflakes from my hair, his touch lingering against my cheek. “Alright, let’s get you inside before you start a rebellion.”

I planted my feet firmly on the ground. “Actually, I have a better idea.”

His eyebrows arched in that way that always made him look simultaneously intrigued and wary. “What now?”

I stepped back and spread my arms, spinning once under the snow. “Dance with me.”

Toto blinked. “Here? In the paddock?”

“No, in Narnia,” I quipped, gesturing at the softly falling snow and the lights above. “Yes, here. Come on, Toto, be romantic.”

He sighed, but I could see the corners of his mouth twitching. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“Hopefully not before I get my dance.”

With a shake of his head, Toto closed the distance between us, his hands finding their place on my waist as if this were something we did every day. The snow fell around us like confetti, and the golden glow of the paddock lights turned everything into a scene straight out of a holiday movie.

“You know,” I said as we swayed gently to a tune that only I could hear, “if someone walks by right now, they’re going to think the stress of the season has finally gotten to you.”

Toto smirked. “Let them think it. I have nothing to prove.”

“Except that you can dance,” I teased, stepping on his foot—purely by accident, of course.

“Careful,” he warned, though his grin widened. “I might let go and leave you to your dramatic demise in the snow.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me,” he said, but his hold only tightened, pulling me closer. His touch was warm and steady, and for a moment, I forgot about the snow, the paddock, and even my poor, freezing toes. It was just us, dancing in the quiet magic of the moment.

“Well,” I said after a pause, my voice softer now, “this is officially the most romantic thing you’ve ever done.”

“More romantic than flying you to Vienna for our anniversary?” he asked, his brow lifting in mock offense.

“Yes,” I said firmly. “That had champagne and a five-course meal, sure, but did it have snow falling in the paddock? Did it have impromptu dancing?”

Toto chuckled, and the sound rumbled through me like the coziest fireplace crackle. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet, here you are, in love with me anyway.”

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. “You’re lucky I am.”

“I’m lucky?” I scoffed, though my cheeks warmed at his touch. “I’m not the one married to a six-foot-something genius with perfect hair.”

Toto laughed outright at that, the sound echoing through the paddock. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

“Good,” I said, grinning. “Because after this, you owe me hot chocolate. And a foot massage.”

He twirled me suddenly, catching me off guard and making me laugh as the snow swirled around us. “Anything else, Your Majesty?”

“Just this,” I said, resting my head against his chest as we settled back into an easy sway. “Just us.”

For a while, we danced in silence, the snow falling softly, the world around us forgotten. It was, perhaps, the most perfect moment we’d ever stolen together.

[yanderes-galore]

Eren Yeager with prompts 1, 6, and 46, please!

The plot may be Eren fighting with his Darling one last time about his decision about the Rumbling. He promises he'll be back with them once he finishes what needs to be done and an argument starts between them where the already unhappy Darling tries to knock the last bit of sense into him before Eren goes off to finish what he's started. I'll leave the rest to you, thank you! :)

I think I've seen enough of Season 4 to write this? Let's see how this goes.

Yandere! Eren Yeager Prompts 1, 6, 46

"I'd burn this world and everything in it for you."

"A good partner must be willing to make sacrifices for their beloved! Don't you agree?"

"Even monsters can love, can't they...?"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Overprotective behavior, Mass murder implied, Isolation/Imprisonment implied, Forced kiss, Dubious relationship.

"There has to be another way, you can't be serious, Eren!" You plead to the man in front of you, watching as he leans against the wall on the far end of the room.

"Why do you have so much sympathy for them?" Eren states coldly, tone even with not much emotion. "They're sending people to kill us on this island... I'm doing what's best for us."

The Rumbling had been an idea tossed around for a while now. It had been talked about along with the Founding Titan for various reasons. You thought Eren would simply go along with making Eldians infertile with Zeke...

Yet it seems he's decided to go with the more destructive option.

"It's not right..." You try to argue but Eren, your boyfriend, shushes you with an unamused look.

"This isn't about what's right. They don't care about the Eldians." Eren continues, stepping closer. "Did you forget about how much our friends mean to me... how much you mean to me?"

You feel the man in front of you cup your cheeks, cold blue eyes staring into your own. You freeze when he touches you but reluctantly melt into it. It's been a while since you've had such affection...

Mostly because your relationship with Eren has been rocky the last four years.

"I'm mostly doing this for you, know that?" Eren whispers, breath ghosting over your face. "I want to make this place somewhere safe for us. I don't plan on coming back to you until I achieve that."

"Eren, please, Zeke's plan—" Eren's grip suddenly tightens.

"I don't care what Zeke thinks... You shouldn't either. All you need to know is I'm doing this for you... No one can hurt you if I do this. You and I can finally be happy, know that?"

You feel Eren let go only to pull you into a hug. You struggle, still uncomfortable with the idea of your boyfriend committing mass murder. You still want to think there's ways to make peace with Marley without wiping them out....

Eren could care less about them... not when he has someone like you to care for and keep to himself.

"I'd burn this world and everything in it for you." Eren admits, whispering gently into your neck as he holds you close. You can tell he's manipulating you. After all... He hasn't been this affectionate in weeks since going to Marley. "You're all that matters to me. You always have been."

"Eren... Please just listen... The others are coming up with ideas, I'm sure of it. I can't go along with this...!" You continue to plead, but Eren merely pulls back to look at you in the eyes again.

You can see disappointment and irritation there.

"... I'd kill for you." Eren admits, holding you tight. "In fact, I already have. I've dedicated myself to you so much that no one else matters anymore."

Eren tilts your chin up, his other arm firmly wrapped around your waist.

"A good partner must be willing to make sacrifices for their beloved. Don't you agree?" Eren whispers, ghosting over your lips as though he wants to kiss you. "Can't you see I love you? That you're my motivation... That I'd be willing to destroy this world for you just to give you a happy ending?"

Eren's words made you push against him. He acted like The Rumbling was going to be some romantic gesture to you. He acted like killing millions to 'protect' you was right because you're the only thing that matters to him.

He was too far gone, he probably already was after the Titans were dealt with...

You wonder if what he says is true... If he's really killed for you in the past... and if that even matters now considering what he's planning to do next.

"Get away from me—!" You bark, scrambling out of his hold. Eren watches you blankly, as if just observing what you plan to do next. You then glare in response.

"Eren, I can't do this anymore. I can't love you anymore!" You confess, briefly noticing the tension in Eren's body as he watches you. "You're a monster!"

"A monster?" Eren murmurs, you hate how he seems so casual. "I'm a monster to you?"

"Yes!" You cry, unsure how to sway him from his decision. You thought this would work... breaking it off should snap him out of it...

Yet of course, it didn't matter.

"Fine." Eren answers, stalking closer. "I'm a monster, I accept that."

You make a strangled noise when Eren pins you to the wall of the room. You claw at his wrist when he lightly squeezes your neck. It isn't tight... but it allows him to lean close.

"Even monsters can love, can't they...?" Eren whispers in your ear, keeping you stuck against him. "After all, I know you still love me. There's nowhere else to go, no one else who will dedicate themselves to you like me..."

Eren leans closer, a smug grin on his face.

"No one would level villages or continents just to keep you safe. You'd be miserable with anyone else but me. I'm all you have, I'm all that matters... The Rumbling will happen..." Eren continues, lips grazing against yours.

"... and I'll do it in your name." Eren then kisses you. You struggle against him but he prevents it from happening. By the time he pulls away you spit in his face...

He just laughs.

"Do me a favor and be good while I'm gone, alright?" Eren hums before letting you go. It's then Eren goes to walk away but you try to follow.

"Eren, no, don't do this...!" You cry, Eren ignores you.

"I'll have Mikasa and Armin watch you while I'm gone..." Eren replied, turning to look at you as he puts a hand on the door.

"You better have an apology ready for me when I come back, sweetheart."

It's then Eren shuts the door and you swear you hear it lock...

Leaving you with the knowledge, guilt, and regret that you couldn't stop Eren... along with the dread of what will happen when he's back....

[pierregazly]

a hug from you ꨄ oscar piastri

oscar piastri x afab!reader

warnings: reader dealing with period pain, long-distance relationship, mostly fluff [1022 words]

request: heyyy could you do "you look like you could use a hug" + "it will be better in the morning" from the 💗 list? with oscar piastri please!

The heating pad was pressed against your abdomen, the warmth radiating through your body as you clutched it closer to you. The cramps were heinous, they always were the first two days of your cycle. The headaches and back pain that had started to accompany the cramps just an extra frustration.

The pain had started earlier in the day, after an already-nightmare start to the morning. From the coffee that had slipped off the counter early in the morning, mug shattering across the floor, to the package of paper that had flown off your desk later in the afternoon - it felt like everything was slowly getting worse and piling up as the day progressed.

This agonizing pain radiating from your uterus was simply the icing on the cake. Tears had already been irrationally shed, junk food consumed. All you wanted to do now was curl up on the couch with the heating pad and a blanket, maybe a few snacks, and the television on to whatever sad show you could find.

Physical comfort from your favourite person, would also be a plus. The only thing you actually wanted, too.

Unfortunately, Oscar was still on a plane. He was coming home from London for winter break, the Formula 1 season having finally come to an end.

It was the only thing you were looking forward to now. Even if the pain radiating from your uterus had you clutching the heating pad closer to your abdomen every few moments, a grimace so evident on your features - all you could think about was the fact Oscar would be walking through the apartment door in a few short hours.

Oscar had texted you from his layover in Singapore hours ago, advising he was about to get on the plane and would message you when the plane touched down in Melbourne. Having taken the same flight more times than you can even count, you knew it wouldn’t be much longer til he was back home in his home country.

The ding from your phone minutes later being exactly what you thought, Oscar had landed and was just grabbing his luggage. He’d likely be home in the next hour.

Knowing how late it was, Oscar wasn’t expecting a response from you when he messaged you to let you know he was on his way home. The surprise of receiving a response almost immediately prompted a small smile to curl up on his lips.

He hadn’t seen you in almost a month in a half, both schedules being too hectic to make time for him to fly home, or for you to fly out to a race. He had been dying to see you from the moment he stepped on the plane in London, excited to get the chance to curl up around you and simply sleep after such a long flight. He would be the first one to admit how much he detested sleeping alone.

You were thinking the same thing, except all you wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms, his warm body helping to alleviate the never-ending cramping that felt like it was overtaking your body.

It didn’t take him long to get to your shared apartment once he finally hit the road, the late hour making it a smooth drive; no other cars on the road to impede his heavy foot that was currently pressing down on the gas pedal. 

The click of the lock had your head whipping towards the door from your spot on the couch, your face lighting up as the door swung open. Oscar had bags hanging off all his limbs, a backpack on his back, two suitcases beside his legs, a duffle swung up on his arms. But you could still see the smile on his face once your eyes connected with his.

It took him a moment to register you in the dark of the apartment, the only light being from the hallway and the television. He instantly clocked the heating pad pressed to your abdomen overtop of the blanket, the packages of snacks laid out on the coffee table in front of you, and the show you only ever watched during this time of the month replaying on the television - his own grimace overtook his features once he wrapped his head around everything.

Dragging all his belongings into the room, he made his way over to you. Internally groaning as you sat up, Oscar was quick to place a soft peck to your lips, your cheeks, and then your forehead.

“Hi, baby,” he said, a soft smile etched on his cheeks.

“Hi, Osc. Missed you,” you murmured.

“Missed you more. You look like you could use a hug,” the words left his lips, his eyes following your movements as you shrugged, a small nod following.

He knew you like the back of his hand, knew that all you wanted was affection and cuddles from him when your body was hurting like this. Which, after almost an entire day of flying, he was more than happy to grab your hand and drag you towards the bedroom, his bags a problem for another day as he flopped down on the bed, his jacket, shirt, and pants having already found their way to the floor. 

Eagerly dragging you into bed with him, he was quick to wrap his arms around you, tugging your body into his as he nestled his face into your neck. The exhale that fell from your lips was one of content. Happy to finally be wrapped in Oscar’s arms again, the warmth radiating from his body soothing the ache in yours.

“Missed you so much, Osc. Hate being away you for so long. Hate being alone when my body is trying to kill me.” 

You felt him press a kiss to the exposed skin of your neck.

“Well, I’m home now. Everything will be better in the morning, my love.”

You hoped he was right. Really, you knew he was right. Your cramps wouldn’t be as bad, everything that had happened today would be yesterday’s problem. You got to wake up next to Oscar, had the opportunity to finally spend another day with him.

It was all you could ask for, really.

i don't love this, but i rewrote it so many times i needed to get it out??? all i want is oscar to comfort me when i'm dealing with this tho sooo

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ 5 more minutes ] l. hughes

paring : Luke Hughes x fem!reader

summary : Luke’s girlfriend surprises him in Newark after his last college hockey game

warning(s) : none really. just very fluffy and emotional. also very short bc it was 1 am when i came up w this idea

author’s note : in honor of today being my last day as an ncaa student athlete, i quickly wrote this up. i was feeling very emotional and i needed a way to express how i felt. hence why we now have a very fluffy / emotional fic. some of the comments luke makes are some of my thoughts about how my own season ended yesterday. it’s kinda sad but it had to be done. you’re welcome (i think ?)

༺═──────────────═༻

Jack texts her when he has picked up his younger brother from the airport. She begins to pace around the living room of Jack’s apartment that he’s now going to be sharing with Luke.

She has no clue what state Luke is going to be in when he walks through the door. He’s probably going to be so pissed that he spent the last two minutes or so of his college career in the penalty box instead of on the ice or on the bench with his teammates. He’s been so busy traveling that he hasn’t had time to sit and reflect on the season.

That’s the reason that she hopped on a flight to Newark as soon as the clock hit zero against Quinnipac. She just wanted to make sure that he’s okay before he goes and signs his NHL contract in two days and joins Jack on the Devils.

Either he’s going to be really upset and pissed or he’s going to be excited to start the next chapter in his career. She has no idea which version of Luke she’s going to get.

Keys jingle in the door about a half hour after Jack texts her to let her know he has Luke. She stops pacing and stands in the middle of the living room. Her eyes are on the door as Jack pushes it open.

“… not really in the mood for any surprises,” Luke says as he walks through the door. “I’m so tired.”

“I think you’ll like this one,” Jack tells his brother as he shuts the door behind them. Luke drops the big duffel bag that contains his hockey gear on the floor by the door in the foyer area. Then he finally makes his way to the living room with his suitcase.

He freezes mid-step when he sees his girlfriend.

With a small wave and a smile, she says, “Hi, Lukey.”

Luke crosses the room in five strides because of his stupidly long legs. He envelops her in a hug and buries his face in her neck. She wraps her arms around his torso and they stand like that for what feels like an eternity.

She doesn’t mind. If it means that Luke’s okay then she’ll stand like this forever.

She presses soft kisses into his shoulder and whispers to him, “I’m so proud of you, Luke. So incredibly proud of you. I know that’s not how you wanted the season to end but you did everything you could, and for that I am so, so proud of you.”

A quiet sob wracks Luke’s body as he pulls back from the hug. She sees tears in his eyes and frowns. A couple roll down his cheek and she reaches up to wipe them away. Jack silently sneaks out of the apartment. He thinks he’s slick but she saw him leave behind Luke.

“I hated that I wasnt out there those last two minutes,” he tells her, voice shaky. “Maybe I could’ve done something that pushed the game into overtime or won it for us. Instead I was in the penalty box while my team had to fight even harder to get goals because they were down a man.”

“I know, baby,” she softly replies. “I wish I could’ve given you guys five more minutes. You all fought so hard. So fucking hard. I’m so sorry that’s how your season ended.”

More tears roll down Luke’s cheeks and she continues to wipe them away.

“I feel like I let them down,” he whispers. “I could’ve fought harder for them. For this season. I let them down when they needed me most and now I’m abandoning them.” His words break her heart.

She shakes her head and cups his jaw. “You didn’t let anyone down,” she tells him. “You did what you could in the sixty minutes you had. They know that and they will always remember how hard you fought for them. You’re so important to everyone on that team and you played such an important role in getting as far as you did as a team. They’re just as proud of you as I am because you are about to start an amazing new chapter in your hockey career. You aren’t abandoning them, Luke. They want you to move forward in your career. They understand that you’re ready and that this is what you want.”

Luke nods and wraps his hands around her wrists. She continues to look up at her boyfriend.

She’ll never understand how he feels because she isn’t an athlete. All she can do now is try to help him realize that he isn’t the worst teammate that he thinks he is at the moment. She doesn’t want him to have that mindset as he transitions from college to the NHL.

Losing is tough in any sport. She knows that much and she is going to make sure that Luke understands that it is okay to feel this way but that he also has to get ready to move forward.

“Thank you for being here,” he says after a moment of comfortable silence. “Sorry I’m such a mess. I didn’t think it would affect me this much.”

“It just shows how much you love every team that you’re on,” she replies. “You dedicate so much time to hockey because you love it. You’re allowed to feel this way and feel it for a little bit. You do have a contract to sign in a few days so I’m giving you tonight to get out everything you feel about the Michigan season ended. Tomorrow, it’s time to get excited. I’m here to help you get excited.”

A smile finally cracks through the frown that’s been plastered on Luke’s face since he saw her. She dries his cheeks one more time before she pulls him back into a hug.

Luke presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. “I love you,” he says into her hair. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Shut up. Yes you do,” she retorts. “I love you too. Let’s go get you unpacked then we can take a nap because I heard you tell Jack how tired you are.”

When she pulls away from the hug and starts to walk to his suitcase, Luke grabs her hand and pulls her back to him. She looks up at him for a quick second before his lips are on hers. The kiss surprises her because of how emotional he is, but sometimes a kiss is all it takes to feel better.

She happily smiles into the kiss and runs her fingers through his curls as she returns it. It’s one of his favorite things she does so many he’ll start to feel better a little faster. Luke loves feelings her fingers in his curls. It’s the reason he doesn’t try to tame them.

The front door opens again and a voice says, “Okay, we are establishing some rules. Rule one, the door stays open three inches when your girlfriend is over. I don’t need any babies crying in my apartment at three in the morning right now.”

They both pull back and she looks behind Luke at Jack, who has a disgusted look on his face. She smiles but Luke’s cheeks turn a tomato red. She laughs and shakes her head.

“Rule two,” Jack continues. “No making out anywhere I can see you. That means the-”

“Jack!” Luke snaps. “I get it. We get it. Also, I’m not going to be leaving my door open three inches. If I want to have sex with my girlfriend then I’m going to. It’s my room and we split the rent now so I’ll do what I want.”

“None of that premarital kissing stuff where I can see or hear it,” Jack tells his brother. “I don’t need that in my life.”

She laughs and takes the opportunity to grab Luke’s bag and suitcase. “Don’t worry,” she says. “We won’t traumatize you. Again.”

Both Luke and his girlfriend laugh as they make their way to Luke’s new room, leaving a disgusted and definitely traumatized Jack Hughes in the living room.

༺═──────────────═༻

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[daniiiboo]

day 2 - the gift you didn't expect - lh43

summary - Luke has been hinting about a mysterious gift he's been working on for months. You try to figure it out, but the surprise is something you never could have imagined.

trigger warnings - nothin !

dani's thoughts - kinda starts off the same as day 1's fic, but it changes ! kinda the same with the ending :p I dunno how I did this tbh !

word count- 880

find the rest of my 12 days of chrismas here !

Christmas Eve had always been your favorite time of year. The snowflakes gently falling outside, the warm glow of lights on the Christmas tree, and the smell of pine mixed with cinnamon, everything about the holiday season filled you with warmth. But this year felt a little different. Luke Hughes, your boyfriend, had been away with his hockey team for the past few weeks, and while you were excited for him, you couldn’t help but miss him.

You had spent the evening preparing your apartment, decorating the tree, baking cookies, and wrapping presents for friends and family. Still, something was missing. The one thing that always made Christmas feel complete: Luke.

As the hours dragged on, you tried to stay occupied. You were just about to curl up on the couch with a book when your phone buzzed.

Luke: “hey, I'm coming up, will you let me in?"

Your heart skipped a beat. After weeks of silence and short texts, Luke was finally coming home. You quickly rushed to get ready, adjusting the Christmas lights and making sure the apartment looked perfect.

A knock at the door startled you, and without thinking twice, you rushed to open it.

Standing there, in the glow of the Christmas lights, was Luke. His familiar smile spread across his face, and his eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N),” he said softly, stepping inside.

“Merry Christmas!” You couldn’t contain your joy as you threw your arms around him, feeling his warmth seep into your cold skin. "I missed you so much."

Luke chuckled, holding you tightly.

“I missed you too. But I’ve got something for you.” He pulled away slightly, his grin never fading as he reached into his bag and pulled out a small, wrapped box.

"Wait! Come inside, it's cold out there" you explained, pulling Luke inside, letting him take his coat and hat off, and leave his bag by the door.

"Okay now let me see it" you say, holding out your hands as the two of you sit on the couch.

You raised an eyebrow.

“What’s this?”

“You’ll see,” he said with a playful glint in his eyes.

With trembling hands, you unwrapped the gift, slowly peeling away the paper. Inside, nestled in a small velvet box, was a beautifully crafted pendant. It was a delicate silver locket, its surface etched with a small snowflake and the word "forever" engraved on the back.

But that wasn’t what made your heart race.

When you opened the locket, inside were two pictures. One was of you and Luke, smiling on a beach during a trip you’d taken together. The other was of Luke, dressed in his hockey gear.

You stared at the locket, speechless, your fingers gently caressing the pictures.

“Luke… I don’t understand,” you whispered. “It’s beautiful, but…”

Luke smiled, his expression softening as he took your hands in his.

“I know it’s not much, but… this is something I’ve been working on for months. I wanted to give you something that meant something to both of us.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Luke took a deep breath, clearly nervous.

“I’ve been collecting photos, memories, little things we’ve done together over the past year. Every time I was on the road, I’d think of you and how much you meant to me. I wanted to make something that would remind you of me every day, even when we’re apart. So, I made this locket. It’s more than just a piece of jewelry, it’s a symbol of us, our memories, and the moments I want to keep with me forever.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you looked up at him, overwhelmed by the thought and effort he had put into this gift.

“Luke… you really went all out. You’ve been working on this for months?”

He nodded, his voice steady but full of emotion.

“I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted you to know how much you mean to me. I know I’ve been away a lot, but you’re always in my heart. I’m not perfect, but I want to be there for you, always.”

You couldn’t hold back anymore. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest as your tears fell freely. Luke gently held you, his hand running through your hair.

“Hey,” he whispered, his voice full of affection. “You’re my everything. This Christmas, I just wanted to show you that, no matter where I am, you’re always with me. I’ll carry you in my heart wherever I go, and I hope this locket reminds you of that.”

You pulled back slightly, wiping away your tears as you smiled at him, your heart swelling with love.

“This is the best Christmas gift anyone could ever give me, Luke. Thank you for making it so special.”

Luke grinned and kissed your forehead softly. “Anything for you. I’m just glad we’re together now.”

With that, he gently closed the locket and placed it around your neck. It rested perfectly against your chest, right over your heart. You reached up to touch it, feeling the warmth of his love and the care he had put into this beautiful gift.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter, warmth, and shared moments as you both enjoyed your Christmas together. As you cuddled on the couch, sipping hot cocoa and watching Christmas movies, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly lucky. Luke’s gift, a symbol of his love, would stay close to your heart forever.

And as the snow continued to fall outside, you realized that this Christmas was perfect—not because of the gifts, but because you were with the person who meant everything to you.