#they check off all the boxes..
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billford trending on tumblr in 2024 was not on my bingo list 😭
#kickiez speaks#shitpost#gravity falls#billford#they’re so…#interesting#toxic old man yaoi….#human and monster…..#they check off all the boxes..
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i really really don’t like it how when the news of wilbur’s abuse came out dream was preaching to believe all victims however once Caiti came out with her story he covered it up and cried in a twt space about it
#the performative feminism is actually insane#honestly a lot of people’s feminism ended with the wilbur situation#like everyone had checked off all their activism boxes already and they could stop pretending to care#dsmp#mcyt#dream smp#dream situation
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The only reason I haven't watched good omens, is because I know that crap would absolutely consume all of my brain storage.
You're telling me, there is kind round man, and saucy tall man, and they're angel/demon dynamic, and then slightly gay shenanigans occur? That's like, all of the boxes.
#all of the boxes have been checked off#it has too much power#i would like it too much#good omens#I don't even know their names but I've looked at enough fanart and memes to know I would love it too much#this is random#and nobody cares but it's my little rant today#I should watch it though.
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imagine paying $23 to get wasted, let your equally wasted friends talk you into getting a tattoo, and then immediately going and getting that tattoo infected in a hot tub.
tabitha does the tattoos because they couldn't find an actual experienced tattoo artist willing to work in this dumpster fire.
#how to tell that neither of these twinks have gotten a tattoo in their LIFE#their tattoo parlor is checking off all the 'don't do this before/after getting a tattoo' boxes#i can't wait for this place to be shut down for the inevitable health crisis#dan and phil#dan and phil games#phan#the sims 4#seriously wtf is going on here
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Y'know the funniest thing to me about In Stars and Time is that I didn't care for ANY of the characters at first glance. Like usually I get attached to a character design or two before I play a game but that didn't happen AT ALL with ISAT before playing it.
I genuinely looked at the whole party and went "eh? meh. maybe I'll like them more once I get into it"
And then I played for five minutes and was won over like instantly cuz this is the most charming cast in the UNIVERSE. Like it's the sharpest affection spike I think I've ever experienced with literally any fictional characters ever in my life. absolutely wild
#In Stars and Time#isat#Like genuinely adore all their designs now#And their personalities and stuff obv#BUT LIKE I THINK ABOUT IT SOMETIMES AND LAUGH#Because I genuinely got this game to like. Check off a box for myself#Expecting to play it. Have a good time. And move on#But it came out the gate swinging and grabbed me by the neck#And said 'hey guess what they're all blorbo'#And I started sobbing /pos
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Google drive link here
I got tired of switching back and forth between the wonderful dialogue maker and my image editing program, so I made some files that would let me put ISAT dialogue boxes together myself! All of my measurements are approximated and based on the dialogue maker, so I could be off by a couple pixels. But it's close enough for me (<- I say through the gritted teeth of a perfectionist who is trying to be chill).
The left 20% of each portrait gets cut off when it's used in the dialogue maker, so I've uploaded a cropped version of every dialogue portrait in the game. And the dialogue maker shrinks the portraits by 80% as well, so there's also a cropped + shrunk version.
I've included a png of the dialogue box itself, as well as procreate and psd files of the dialogue box plus editable text. You'll need to download the ISAT font if you don't already have it; I got it here. Then all you need to do is align the portrait of your choice with the bottom left corner of the file and you're good to go!
Since I'd rather use crispy full-resolution portraits for my editing, I also included dialogue box files that are sized up to match the high rez cropped portraits. I kept the same border style, which means the border is sliightly skinnier than it should be, compared to the box and portraits. So it's personal preference whether you'd rather use canon border proportions or crispy portraits.
I also uploaded the original of each portrait since I had them downloaded anyway, but they're webp? So maybe saving to my ipad didn't actually give me the original file format. If anyone has them as pngs and wants to add them to the google drive folder, hmu and I'll send you an edit link. Also, the images should all be in the same order as they are on the wiki, but they do not have the original names. So if anyone wants to go through and rename them, again, hmu.
#in stars and time#isat dialogue box#isat portraits#idk if anyone else will find these helpful but i already spent hours making them so#might as well upload in case anyone else wants them!#i'm sure there are much easier methods one could use to accomplish all this reformatting#but when all you have is procreate for ipad sometimes it's easier to just hammer away#silver's greatest hits#also i double checked my files to make sure i didn't miss any portraits#but i did Not double check the actual google drive uploads#so if you notice the portrait counts are off lmk and i'll hunt down whichever i missed#s.isat#silver.edits#isat
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Moku, are you free this weekend...
#kagurabachi#yeah he checks off all the boxes i'm cooked#i was gonna draw s*ya too but tumblr's not ready for that yet
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"You've been expressing anger in the therapy." "Everything mother does is LOVE. If I have to show a little discipline, that's just a firmer kind of love."
#the outlast trials#outlast trials#mother gooseberry#phyllis futterman#dr. easterman#hendrick joliet easterman#my gifs#did you know i love her#i think shes the most powerful design and mocap#truly a terrifying character#with all the boxes checked#mother..... take me into your bosom#and i guess drill my face off
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I realized there's a few reasons i stopped actively using tumblr, esp on mobile
The first ads i saw i had to scroll through like 3 or 4 at once, and there's ads every 2-3 posts now :/
#cyspeaks#im gonna try to actually use tumblr again im sorry for just disappearing#also yes i closed my ask box cause any time id check here id have 20 new ones#and more than half of them seemed like scams trying to profit off actual suffering cause they all had similar handles#so i figured i should just turn them off for now. sorry#anyway im gonna go to sleep in a sec#ill prolly post smth when i get up
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trick-or-treat.
# — pairing: spidey!kazuha x gn!reader
# — characters: gender neutral reader, spider-man!kazuha
# — warnings: a little suggestive.
# — tags: fluff, kisses (bc who am i if not a madman for kisses), mild hurt/comfort, BANTER YIPPEE!!, this is zuzu's way of making up for the fact that he all but forgot kazuha's birthday, apology fic
# — notes: (PLEASE READ!!) this is... not at all what i intended to do. it's 1:30 am and i just came down from a much needed high. as my head cleared, i noticed that this fic was like, riddled with flaws, but i feel too good about this to second guess it and feel bad. anyways, this is heavily inspired by this fic that 🎻 anon sent in my asks, as well as a follow-up to this fic i wrote on @awlumii last year on kazuha's birthday. i hope you enjoy and please do let me know what you think! i could really use some feedback.
✦ — 🎃 — ✦
There's a knock on your door. You stare at the entry to your apartment and think: "How mean would it be if I ignored them right now?"
In your defense, you've been giving out candy all day. All. Day. You figured that there would at least have been a lull in the early afternoon since children had school to attend, but no — you've been giving out candy to all ages from as early as 10:30 this morning. It's a good thing you stocked up on candy late last month, otherwise you would've had to ruin the days of some very enthusiastic trick-or-treaters. So after setting aside a bucket full of your favorites and giving out the leftovers until about 10 at night, you finally thought yourself ready to curl up on your bed with your softest blanket. You were halfway to dreamland when some monster started pounding on your door.
(So maybe you're exaggerating a little. But who could blame you? You're tired and you want to sleep.)
And so, here you sit, your legs half-tangled in your weighted fleece blanket as you glare at your door and hope that your unwanted visitor is telepathic and gets the message that you want them to leave. Scram! you think. You raise your voice in your head. Get out of here. Shoo! Begone!
…They knock again. (Kind of a dick move if they can read minds.)
The groan you let out is obnoxiously loud and is most definitely heard by whoever is on the other side of the door. You hoist yourself to your feet and trudge to the door, but you don't open it quite yet. Judging by the fact that this person has yet to say anything, you figure that they're old enough to know when their presence is not welcome and left.
Wrong. You're too optimistic. They knock again.
You sigh and once again, hope that the sound carries through the door. "Who is it?" You try to make yourself sound as unfriendly as possible. Considering how cranky you are, you don't have to try very hard.
"Trick-or-treat..?" The voice on the other side is muffled by the door, but also by something else. Fabric, probably. All you know is that their voice is deep enough to be an adult's.
You click your tongue. "Trick." You almost snicker. It's a little refreshing not doling out treats for once. "Go home."
"Can I at least give you a treat?" The person asks.
You blink. They didn't leave? "Pretty sure that's not how it works," you reply. "I give you treats and you… I dunno, TP my house or something."
"Yeah, well," the person at the door chuckles, "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to say 'trick', either. Since you're breaking the rules, it's only fair that it's my turn, right?"
Well… Shit. They have a point.
Impressed by the stranger's reasoning, you hum. "Fine. Let me find my costume." You turn to gather your costume and notice that you can't find the full thing. You were so eager to get to bed that you didn't hesitate to drop the thing in the wash. Not wanting to make the stranger wait too long, you improvise. You blindly grab the mask and the blue throw blanket you have folded up on your couch and tie it around your shoulder like a cape. It's a shitty excuse for a costume, but you reason that your exhaustion is a good excuse. You swing open the door and cross your arms over your chest. "Alright, what do you got for-- Oh."
Standing on the other side of your door is none other than Spider-Man himself. The two of you stand in silence as you take in each other's appearances. Then, after what feels like forever, he speaks. "So… a cape, huh?"
You don't hesitate — you grab your door and swing the thing shut as fast as you can, but Spider-Man is faster, catching the door in his gloved hand. You turn your back to him. The mask is obscuring his face, but you already know what expression he has underneath. "Don't say a word." You warn him.
Spider-Man pays you no mind. You can feel him lifting your 'cape' as he inspects it. "Hmm… capes are kinda aerodynamic, but considering how dirty my enemies fight, I don't think that's a very good design choice." You can hear the shit-eating grin in his voice. "I'll give it a five out of ten."
"I said shut it!" You snatch your blanket out of his hands and march further into your apartment with Spider-Man's laughter following at your back. He walks inside and the door shuts behind the two of you. "Get the fuck out, webhead," you seethe. Your voice trembles with shame. "I didn't invite you in."
Spider-Man just walks around you to look you in the eye. "Come now, lovebug," he tilts your chin up with a finger, "you look cute wearing my mask."
You grumble and push his hand away as you struggle for words. You want to say something like, "this isn't what it looks like!" to try and save face, but there's no point in trying. This is exactly what it looks like.
Because the mask you'd been wearing for Halloween -- and the mask you haphazardly thrown on moments ago -- was none other than Spider-Man's mask.
To be fair, these things were a dime a dozen. The people of this city adore the vigilante. It was only natural that kids and adults alike would want to pretend to be him for a day, even if they had no powers like him. You're not exactly one of those people — you've seen firsthand just how brutal Spider-Man's job can be. You wouldn't trade your life for his even if you were offered money. But as you stared at the costume while shopping, you couldn't help yourself. There were obviously cooler, much more interesting costumes to choose from but this one just… called to you.
Hindsight is 20/20, after all. You should've ignored that calling.
Spider-Man takes your chin in his fingers and shakes your head side to side. "I never knew you liked me so much, lovebug. I'm touched."
You scoff. "Don't be."
"Y'know, if you wanted to wear my mask so badly, you could've just asked." Spider-Man leans in and presses a clothed kiss to your cheek. You consider yourself lucky; he can't possibly feel the burn of your cheeks through all that fabric.
You stammer. "Ha-ha. Very funny."
"What? I'm sure I have a back up somewhere." He eyes you for a moment. "You'd look good in it."
Against your will, you wonder if he's saying that he wants you to wear his clothes. Would he ever actually loan you clothes that he's worn? The thought makes your face burn hotter. "Why are you here?" You ask. Anything to change the topic.
Spider-Man chuckles, but plays along. "I haven't swung by in a few days," he says, "so I figured I'd try and surprise you as a trick-or-treater." He shrugs. "I wanted to do some reverse psychology thing where I could trick you into thinking I was just some guy in a costume so you would give me candy."
You process his words for a second. "Okay, first of all, you already are a guy in a costume."
He visibly deflates and places a hand over his chest. "Ouch, lovebug. What if you hurt my feelings?"
"Second of all," you continue, "do you have any idea how many Spider-Men I've seen today?"
"...Is that a serious question?"
"Don't be a smart ass."
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess twelve."
You pause. You actually aren't even sure if that's the right number or not. You lost count after three hours of giving out candy to cute kids.
"Am I right?" He asks.
"Who knows?"
Spider-Man huffs. "If there's that many of us around, then what am I even here for?" You giggle at his petulant behavior, and he makes another breathy sound, reminiscent of a stifled laugh. "Did you treat them the same way you treat me?"
"What?" His question takes you off-guard for a moment. You chortle. "Oh, definitely."
"You gave them band-aids and kicked them out, too?"
"Mhm." You cross your arms. "Just slapped a few on some pretend wounds and told them to get the fuck off my property."
The two of you laugh together for a moment. Once the laughter dies down, Spider-Man tugs at your cheek for a brief second. You let him get away with it for now. "You're so cute." He sighs and you can hear something somber enter his tone. "I was worried about you. It's been a week since I've seen you."
It has been a week, hasn't it? You may have been swamped with work at the hospital, but there was never a night that you didn't find yourself waiting on your balcony like an idiot in this chilly weather. You had faith that he was okay — the Daily Bugle printed something new about the "masked menace" every day this past week — but that didn't stop you from longing for his presence. Stories can't compare to the real thing, after all. You're far more taken with the masked vigilante than you'd care to admit to yourself.
You hum. "About time someone else did the worrying for once," you mumble jokingly. "It gets tiring worrying all by myself."
Spider-Man stays quiet. "I've been okay. A little worse for the wear for the past two days, but okay otherwise."
You reach for him instinctively. "Lingering pain isn't like you," you say, already in doctor-mode, "did something happen?"
"No, not like that. I've just been… sad. I guess." His confession is soft as he takes your outstretched hands in his own. He's been more vulnerable around you lately and you're not sure if that's good or bad. "It's been a rough couple of days, that's all."
You rack your brain. What could possibly be paining him that you don't know of? He's already told you that he tells you everything (within reason), so maybe it's something that you already know of? You furrow your brows as you dive deeper into your memory. Deeper, deeper… until you happen across a memory from just about a year ago.
The kiss you shared on your balcony close to midnight.
"Oh my God." You voice your incredulity aloud. "Oh my God! I missed your birthday!"
Spider-Man straightens his posture as he inhales sharply.
How could you have forgotten? He confessed to you on his birthday last year that you were the only person he had left in his life since he hated his birthday so much. October 29th was such a painful day for him — to think that you didn't stop for a second to wonder if he was okay that day. It's not like you would've been able to contact him of course, but what if he swung by after you'd fallen asleep? You should've at least left him a note or something.
"Don't beat yourself up over it, lovebug." The confidence is starting to bleed out of him, you notice. Spider-Man walks over to your couch and sits on the floor in front of it. "I'll be okay. It's not like I was going to celebrate or anything."
You move to the couch and adjust yourself so that the vigilante is between your legs. You two often assume this position when you're finished patching him up and too tired to goof around until he leaves. You would place your hands on his head and press your fingers into the fabric of his mask. Spider-Man told you once that the action was soothing, but you have yet to admit to him that it's your way of trying to conjure up an image of what his hair must look like underneath.
Like always, he gets himself into position, draping his arms across your legs. This time, however, he's looking up at you. You're not sure what expression he might be wearing.
"I wasn't saying that we should've celebrated," you say softly. "I'm just upset that you had to be alone. Are you sure you're okay?" You ask as you massage your fingers across the crown of his head.
He hums. "I am now. I promise."
"If you're ever feeling down, you know you can come and see me." Your words surprise the both of you, but you don't regret them at all. He always seems to be around when you need his company the most, so why shouldn't you do the same for him? Who else would? your mind unhelpfully supplies. "I may not be the best company in the world, but at least you won't be alone, right?"
Spider-Man moves so that he's on his knees facing you. He's so close to your face like this; you inch backwards to preserve your sanity. "You're the only company I need." He says it with so much conviction that you shiver. "But does this mean I'm getting special treatment?"
"What--? You mean from the other Spider-Men?" When he nods, you snort. "Yeah, I guess you do get V.I.P privileges. You get extra treats unlike everyone else."
"Extra?" He tilts his head. "But you haven't given me any candy at all."
You raise a brow. "All that's left is the candy I'm hoarding for myself. And before you ask, no, I'm not sharing any. Why don't you try actually trick-or-treating? People would probably give the city hero the best of the best."
He sinks a little lower, seeming defeated. "...Would you believe me if I said I tried that already?"
"Did it work?"
He's silent.
"...It didn't work, did it?"
"...No. They thought I was just some superfan."
Peals of laughter burst out of you at his admission. "So this is how they repay you, huh?" You say between giggles. "No faith and no candy? That's rough, buddy." You get the distinct impression that he's glaring at you, but that only makes you laugh harder.
Fed up with your insistence on laughing at his misfortune, Spider-Man taps your leg. "Since I get special treatment from you, can I ask for a few wishes?"
You wipe a stray tear from your eye. "I'm dressed as a superhero, not a magic genie."
"Please?"
"Fine, fine." You finally catch your breath. "You get two wishes.
"Not three?"
"I'm not a genie. Don't push it."
Spider-Man puts his hands up in defense. "Alright, two it is. The first is… let me stay with you for the rest of the night."
You shrug. Wouldn't be the first time. He's usually gone by the time you wake up, anyhow. "Granted. Next one's your last — make it count, bug boy."
Spider-Man doesn't react to your nickname. Instead, he just stares at you. A familiar sensation tickles up your spine. He's watching you; you know that stare all too well. "I think you know what I'm going to ask for next." His voice is deeper, smoother than it was mere moments ago.
You nod and he eases himself closer to you. You feel your heart pick up an unsteady rhythm and rather than kiss him normally, you lean in close and press your masked lips to his. He makes a surprised noise before he laughs and melts into the "kiss" all the same. When you pull away, he's still laughing. A very welcome change from the bitter smile you're sure he was wearing when talking about his birthday. "Consider that a freebie," you mutter.
"You're too kind," he chuckles.
Soon, your fingers come to the base of his mask to raise it just above his lips when he suddenly stops you. He reaches for your face and you feel something tug at the base of your neck. Somehow, you completely forgot you were wearing that stupid mask. "It's kinda funny," he half-laughs, "having to unmask you for once."
"You... You can't tell anyone about my identity, okay?" You tease.
Spider-Man rolls your mask up just enough to expose your lips and you do the same to him. Neither of you are sure who leaned in first, but you meet in the middle in a kiss that has fireworks bursting behind your lids. The two of you are greedy, pouring a week's worth of longing into the kiss. The mutual yearning is palpable, so much so that you can hear his breath hitch when you sigh. He rises to the couch slowly and without breaking the kiss, doing his best not to part from you for even a second.
You missed him. Oh, how you missed him — you missed how he would wrap a strong arm around your waist and pull you closer like it was nothing; how he would whisper his adoration for you between breaths; how he would chase after your lips whenever you would tease him with barely-there kisses. You missed the exhilaration, the thrill of knowing that you were the only one Spider-Man would ever treat this way. That you were his and he was yours.
He moves from your lips to your jaw, trailing kisses up to your ear and down to your neck. His pace is unhurried, though he seems eager to pull a reaction out of you. You give him what he wants whether you intend to or not. You press yourself closer to him in a silent request for more and he indulges you; his kisses become little nips, and the nips turn to bites as he starts to leave marks on your neck. He eases you back so that you're laying on your couch and he's hovering over you. The two of you stare at each other for a moment.
"Can I use my next wish?" His voice is rough. When you nod, he leans in once more. His uncovered lips brush against your ear as he whispers. "Let me give you a treat."
Something foreign yet familiar makes you shudder as you nod.
Spider-Man attacks your neck once again. Clearly he was holding himself back earlier, because every mark he leaves stings. He makes them dark and obvious, completely disregarding any warnings you may have given him on other days. You normally would tell him to ease up, to hide the marks that he so desperately wanted to leave on you. But now you let him do as he pleases. You gave him an inch and as expected, he took the mile. He soothes each one with a kiss and muffles your whimpers with his lips.
It takes a while before he's satisfied with his handiwork. Kazuha raises himself up with a shaky breath. Your wrists are in his hands and pinned against the couch. Looking down at you now, all flushed absolutely covered in his marks, he feels something uncontrollable stir within him. He has half a mind to tell you to close your eyes so he can take his mask off, but he refrains.
That's all he ever does when it comes to you. You, the greatest test of his endurance that he will ever encounter in his lifetime. No supervillain with any amount of underground connections or otherworldly technology will ever test his patience and restraint quite like you. For years, Kazuha has weighed the pros and cons of telling you who he is. He always wonders if you would still allow this, if you would still treat him like a lover if you knew who he was — if you knew that he's been lying to you. Though your reaction may not be guaranteed, it's a risk he's more than willing to take.
But he doesn't. Not tonight. Maybe another day when the time is right.
For now, Kazuha releases your wrists and sits himself up. He fixes his mask while you take yours off. You sit up and he watches as you ghost your fingers over each of your fresh hickies. You wince a little when you brush the one on the left side of your collarbone, above your heart. The silence that hangs in the air is evident, but not uncomfortable.
Then, you mutter. "I was supposed to give you a treat."
Kazuha reaches out and touches a hickey left on your pulse point. A sensitive spot for you – you shudder in response. He admires the lingering haze in your eyss. "You did. Thank you, lovebug."
✧ my goodness. @perpetualcynicism look at what you've done. you've reawakened a monster in me.
✧ edit: btw, the dividers belong to @cafekitsune!! thanks so much for making such beautiful dividers!
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#kaedehara kazuha#kaedehara kazuha x reader#kazuha x reader#spidey!kazuha#spidey!kazuha x reader#WHEW.#tagging is a fucking nightmare i cant believe i did this all the time#but uh.. ta-da...#i feel so much better though#i had a horrible day at work so i got super high and then i read thing in my asks and then i cried and wanted to write about kazuha#i literally checked off every box#get high? ✅️ cry? ✅️ write about kazuha? ✅️✅️✅️#I FEEL SO FREE
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i feel so called out by scarlet hollow it's ridiculous it knows exactly how to appeal to me
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every time I try & fail to find jeans I like I remember how my uncle used to buy all his pants from the amish clothing catalogue and am a little tempted to do the same
#high waisted fall front duranle designed for suspenders..... like it does check off all the boxes.#it must be said.#thoughts
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♡ :D
Send ♡ to see what my muse thinks of yours
●●●●● | ATTRACTION ●●●●● | AFFECTION ●●●●● | INTEREST ●●●●● | LOYALTY ●●●●● | TRUST
"edie's as special as they come! she's always working so hard. i don't envy the weight of the role she's had to take on as imperial princess. i know it'll only get harder once she's emperor, though i have faith she'll manage just fine. more than fine, actually. all her talk of the future makes me feel hopeful. you always hear the nobility speaking about 'better days ahead,' but when edie says it, i somehow believe every word.
'the future will always be ours to make.' that's what she's told me. and not only that, but she also wants me at her side to see it. imagine that? someone like edelgard wanting to have someone like me around. it almost feels unreal.
i'm hoping to spend more time with edie. when the two of us are together, it's easy to forget about everything else."
#[ ♫ ] ── * answered#congrats on being the first person to hit a perfect score with her edie <3#to no one's surprise dorothea has an incredibly high opinion of edelgard as well as an unwavering sense of devotion despite the two still#learning things about each other. fundamentally it boils down to edie making her feel valued as a person which is always (sadly) mindblowin#to her :sadcat: we obvs know that she's been dehumanized by the adrestian nobility her entire life so the fact that adrestia's future ruler#treats her with this level of respect / kindness / courtesy is something she never expected and in turn appreciates more than words can say#she finds a lot of security in edelgard which is something she's always looked for. a future rooted in safety and stability. the idea that#she could be fully accepted into society + respected because of her character & hard work is largely appealing to her for apparent reasons#then there are the little things that color her opinions such as the fact that the house leaders being in attendance was a huge motivator#for her to apply to the academy when she did dhskjfghdfg edie more or less checks off all of her boxes in terms of what thea came#looking for at garreg mach
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Finishing Neve's quest and god, the Venatori/Minrathous stuff would be hitting so much harder with any kind of emphasis on the existential threat of the Qunari! A general sense that Tevinter is in crisis, on the brink of collapse, and both Neve and Aelia feel it, and Neve is trying to save Tevinter one person at a time while Aelia is trying to save the whole empire. That Tevinter is going to go to either the Lucerni or the Venatori or a populist revolt or the Antaam, and Dorian and Mae are desperately trying to push it their way.
#just like with every other thread in this game it's all been set up so beautifully#and then the game just feels like it's just checking off boxes and phoning in these changes across Thedas.#datv blogging
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trying to figure out this bus app is killing me. at this point i'll just walking in the rain ;;
#rant#why are you telling me when the bus will drop me off. tell me when it fucking arrives#and the nerve to show me ads... i already pay you to drive me around. fuck off#it keeps showing me random times like idk what this means... is this when the bus is coming tomorrow or is it today literally i just want m#fucking medicine idec that much. i miss my friends so much theyre busy but like. they would drive me around and id pay for their drinks it#was so simple. i blame the mandatory draft </3#and the app dont tell me what direction its going im losing my mind.#if it comes down to it and im forced to check this bullshit while im already there waiting for the bus im gonna be so stressed.#the things i go through for my doctor#im not even sure how mandatory these antibiotics are like last time i didnt even take any#and last time i purchased them the pharmacy only gave me one box cuz thats all they had like i had to murder someone to arrive here what do#you MEAN.#“do you want me to order more” yes bitch this fucking mall is like the only other place im at anymore. and my town clinic. this mall isnt#even the good one
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apothecary's log, march 9th, 2025: duloxetine for treating whatever the fuck is going on with me: 1/10 rating. still feel like im being fried to death at night.
#“somatic symptom disorder” my ass#havent been talking about my health here cause its been a train wreck#general pain has lessened or gone but the spikes of pain that make their way through are sudden and horrible#it has to be lhermitte's sign because i cannot help myself but curl up into a ball at night and it backfires#theyre calling me crazy lol#if they up this dosage or shift plans horizontally im going to be pissed off#all they want to do is treat my schizophrenia when that has never been my addressed issue in the first place#“you have to accept this” ok well i tried and now you have to accept you're wrong#schizophrenia or not- somatic symptoms or not- these things dont make me immune to becoming sick or injured. why wont they test me??#and its not psychosomatic when this shit has steadily progressed for the past 3-4 years#its not psychosomatic when i check off boxes i didnt even know were relevant#its not psychosomatic when all of this started during the most stress-free year of my life#im going to die before they listen to me huh? wow what a mystery#im so mad. it cant keep going like this
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