#they can't really afford to lose time but they're all (extra) tired and Aurora is knocked out cold afterwards and can't go anywhere

[undead-potatoes]

Finally got to that Act 2 Durge camp scene if you refuse to kill Isobel last night, and while I've seen that scene like a billion times other places, going through it with both Astarion and Shadowheart as Aurora gave me some thoughts whirring in my head

Aurora's mental state for most of the game is in the gutter. Like the level of self-loathing she carries with her at all times is honestly a bit much, leading her to be very self sacrificing and borderline suicidal. She's kept it together thus far, even finding some renewed hope and purpose after discovering her connection to Lathander at the monastery, but when she's forced to almost kill a loved one in camp she just falls apart completely.

When she's finally back to her self again, all she has left in her is tears. She's just so tired. Between the sleepless nights, the chronic headaches and pains, the constant battles both within and without her cup is already full, and now it's spilling over.

She genuinely contemplates just leaving, putting as much distance between herself and the others as she can before turning, maybe taking down some shadowy abominations with her as she goes. And if push came to shove, a dagger to the heart always does the trick.

She's kept her Urge mostly secret until now, afraid of what the others would think, and is very pleasantly surprised to discover she's met with compassion of all things. The others are wary of her, sure, but none of them seem to blame her for her affliction, and seem mostly preoccupied with how to avoid any possible incidents in the future.

And then there's Astarion, who almost got killed by her uncontrollable bloodlust, and Shadowheart, who could just as easily have become the victim had the dice of fate rolled slightly differently. The way both of them are so supportive of her, seemingly unfazed by the moral aspects of the Urge. How Astarion is being a little cheeky about the whole thing, joking about it in all the right ways to ease the tension, while Shadowheart's more earnest and serious approach still makes her feel seen and taken seriously.

To be met with such understanding and love when she has none for herself is so important to her I think, to have something more to live for than just a sense of duty and spite. Someone to keep the candle of hope lit, even when the Urge tries to snuff it out.