#they can squish me like the bug I am

[revelboo]

I miss my wife(Fort Max), Revel. I really miss him..😔

He needs some love

Move Pt 2

Fort Max x Reader

• Lip curling slightly as you purge on his console and try to shove yourself into an even tighter ball against his viewscreen, he’s aware of Red Alert jabbering. But he can’t look away from those frightened eyes when you peek at him, chirping softly. What are you saying? “Can you send me the language file?” He interrupts Red’s slide into conspiracies and that you just blipping into existence is likely the work of the Decepticons somehow. ‘Of course,’ Red mutters sulkily and he knows he’ll need to apologize for cutting off the other bot.

• This can’t be real. You didn’t just get beamed up from your crappy, barely above minimum wage job by a giant, scary robot monster. “This isn’t happening. I’m not in space,” you whisper, the words pleading. Because this can’t be real, you’ve obviously had a mental breakdown. Maybe you’re in a padded room babbling away, your crappy job finally breaking you. “There’s no scary monster. Yeah, you’re not real.”

• Shivering as the language patch comes through and gets assimilated, suddenly your terrified chirping takes on meaning. Begging for this to not be real, trying to desperately convince yourself from the sound of it. “I’m sorry, little one, but this is real,” he says and you shriek, scrambling to wedge yourself into a corner and he can hear Red laughing at him. And you’re so tiny as you cringe away from him. “I won’t hurt you.”

• It talks. In a low and surprisingly soothing voice, but it’s gigantic and it stretches a servo bigger than you are your way as your heart races trying to beat its way free of your ribs. And you wonder if your heart’s going to give out before the monster can even do anything to you. “Where am I? What are you?” Tensing as that big servo edges too close, you try to smack it away. Immediately regretting it when he frowns at you and you brace for retaliation. Why’d you hit him?

• You’re terrified of him. Knows most organics don’t care for Cybertronians, but you’re cringing like you expect pain. Maybe your only point of reference was the Decepticons? Or, and the thought makes him uneasy, but what if your kind haven’t even had first contact? Swapping to his own language, he draws his hand away. “How much experience do humans have with other sentient races?” Hears Red clear his vents. ‘None.’ And the hysterics make sense as he grimaces. “Figure out how this one got here if you can, Red.”

• He’s back to growling in his own harsh language as your skin crawls. Flinching when his attention focuses back on you, you wonder if you’d break your neck trying to slide off of the console. But really? Where are you going to hide? You’re on a ship in space. And he’s leaning closer to make your feet slide trying to wedge yourself tighter into the corner. Is he going to squish you like a bug? Torture you? Dissect you? “Ba weep granna weep ninny bong,” he growls. What?

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[wendichester]

Hii!, omg you’re such a talented writer I love your work but I was wondering if I could request something reader x Dean, season 1 episode 8

Where reader is super afraid of the bugs (mostly spiders) and Sam and Dean just tease her for it the whole time.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ creepy crawlies,

summary. bugs are in town and you are not having it! especially with the winchesters teasing the living hell out of you.

pairing. sam winchester x reader x dean winchester

wordcount. 440

notes. the only spider i will tolerate is the friendly neighborhood peter parker and no other!

You shudder as you step over another squashed bug, your stomach twisting. The entire town is a nightmare—infested with bees, cockroaches, spiders, and every other creepy-crawly creature you’d rather not think about. You don’t care if there’s some ancient curse at play; you just want to be anywhere but here.

Dean and Sam walk ahead of you, Sam flipping through his journal while Dean shines a flashlight into the trees. The air is thick and humid, the kind of night that makes your skin itch.

You hug yourself, scanning your surroundings like something’s going to lunge at you. “I swear, if something drops on me, I’m burning this entire place down.”

Dean smirks. “What, afraid of a few bugs?”

“A few?” You shoot him a glare. “Dean, they’re everywhere. And they have too many legs. And they’re gross.”

Sam chuckles, not even looking up from his journal. “Pretty sure they’re more scared of you than you are of them.”

You scoff. “Yeah? Then why do they keep crawling toward me?”

“Because they like you,” Dean teases, grinning. “You’re a real bug magnet, sweetheart.”

“Oh, shut up.” You swat his arm, making him laugh.

Dean shakes his head, clearly enjoying himself way too much at your expense. “C’mon, it’s not that bad. It’s just nature doing its thing.”

“Nature can stay away from me.” You wrap your arms around yourself, hunching your shoulders. “I am not built for this.”

As if the universe wants to make things worse, a spider—a big one—descends from a tree branch right in front of you, dangling by its thread.

You let out an actual scream, stumbling backward so fast that you nearly trip over a root. “Nope! Nope! I’m out. I’m done.”

Dean nearly doubles over laughing, while Sam, the ever-mature one, is biting his lip to keep from cracking up.

Dean wipes a fake tear from his eye. “Oh, that was priceless.”

You glare daggers at him, heart still hammering. “I hope you get bitten by a spider. And it mutates.”

Dean grins, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Aww, you’d miss me if I turned into Spider-Man.”

“Not if you looked like a real spider,” you grumble, shuddering. “I’d squish you with a boot.”

Sam chuckles, shaking his head. “I’d pay to see that.”

Dean tightens his hold on you, still grinning like a damn idiot. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. If any more creepy crawlies come after you, I’ll protect you.”

“Yeah, sure,” you mutter, but despite yourself, you lean into him. Maybe having a big, dumb, obnoxious Winchester around isn’t the worst thing.

But if one more spiders get near you, you’re out.

want be part of the taglist.ᐣ ⋆.˚ ★— @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing ⋆ @deans-daydream ⋆ @ariasong11 ⋆ @ambiguous-avery ⋆ @krabog ⋆ @itsdearapril ⋆ @whereiwakewarm ⋆ @nymphet-quenn ⋆ @bluemerakis ⋆ @titsout4jackles ⋆ @lyarr24 ⋆ @hauntedrose555 ⋆ @chevroletdean ⋆ @dulcescorderitas ⋆ @blackmarketfruitrollups ⋆ @impala67rollingthroughtown ⋆ @rulesareshadesofgrey ⋆ @nervoussystemss ⋆ @daryls-luvrr ⋆ @defnot-svnshine ⋆ @sunnyteume ⋆ @drakelover78 ⋆ @angelblqde ⋆ @mostlymarvelgirl ⋆ @whisperingdaze ⋆ @bossyblondie ⋆ @lieutenantchaos ⋆ @iluvnewtie ⋆ @dyhsversion ⋆ @funkenniffler ⋆ @drakelover78 ⋆ @s0urw00lf ⋆ @cursednevermore ⋆ @mrs-pondwater19 ⋆ @lmg14 ⋆ @onelonelybitch ⋆ @myceliumsunshine ⋆ @americanvenom13 ⋆ @iluvdeanwinchester ⋆ @idk6505 ⋆ @devilslittlehelper

[corrupted-ciphers]

Thought this would be a fun project to work on! I <3 weird women. My thoughts on each of the characters below the cut. Version without names added below the cut as well.

Current Favorite: I love Junebug, she's been my blorbo recently, she's really weird. I love her. As I started this project though, I also started playing ENA Dream BBQ. I've been waiting for it for four years now, and damn was it worth the wait. It's a surreal game about ENA's adventures to find the b̷̸̸̡̧͇̜͎͙͙̥̥͚̫̪̩̩̏͑ͩ̓̇ͪ̋̑ͧ̂̃͊͋͘͝͡͝ͅ_̗̖͕͉̻ͯ̍̒ͤ̊́a̢͉̺̫̙̳͓̣̗͔̙̻̔͑̿͛͛̀̽͒̂̒ţ̡̧̼͙̰̥̳̹̻̍ͫ͋̌̏ͮͣ́̔ͯ͊̇ͤͪ͐̿̉ͫͨͧḩ̷̧̡̛̞̩̹͙̱͍̯͇͉̪̫̹̭͙̭͉͚ͬͯ̄̄͗ͯ̅̐̀́ͯ̈́͂̇͆̾͂͘͘͢͠r̾̆͢_̽̆ơ̶̸̡̡̛̠̥͓͔̪̲̥̥̱͙̲̲̫̖̽̊̎̎͒͊̅̔͐̄̈́̓̈́͊ͩ̂̋͘ͅȍ̶̢̙͕͍̰͓̖͉̼ͯ͆ͮͩ̓ͭͭ͑̿́́͢͝͠m̵̧̛̗͉͔̯̦͙̟̼̲̜̫̱͊͋̀̊͊ͯͤͬ͆ͭ̽̃̄̔̋̾͞. Chapter 1 is out now and free to play on Steam right now, and I highly recommend it! Anyway, Junebug is my girl, I love her.

Comfort: Okay, I know the reception ch 4 of Poppy Playtime has been receiving. Do I think chapter 4 is scary? No. Do I think it's good? Also no. Do I think it's hilarious? Hell yes I do. We got several game breaking bugs that were honestly rather amusing, and also the devs letting you move around in Doey's monologues is honestly the funniest decision they made. You can clip into him and let him just eat your head mid talk. He'll also fling you if you stand on his limbs while he talks, it's great. We nearly got killed by him flinging us under the pipe in that one section where he gets froze. Having said all that bad stuff, I love Doey. Okay, there's a lot going on in my life right now, and he came along in the middle of that. As the older sister to three little brothers, I relate to Doey in multiple ways. He is me, he is my brothers, and I just want to give him a big hug himself. I too am trying desperately to pick up the pieces of our home life collapsing around us, while trying to keep my little brothers happy and managing my own angry outbursts. It was a (in my opinion) jankily written scene, but the bit where Doey was torn up over Safe Haven getting destroyed really got to me. It was probably tied to the emotional state I was in when I played the chapter, but damn, I get it man. I too failed to protect those around me from what I knew was inevitable but selfishly pushed to the back of my mind. Damn, I really was made to hurt things and fuck up too bud. I get it. And in a lore perspective, Doey is three little boys mashed together. I have three little brothers, need I say more about that? This character has consumed my life, and I just want to give him a hug. Although honestly his in-game model is a little oily looking tbh. Also Michael Kovach knocked it out of the park with his performance here. Also also, fuck you devs for making us squish/kill Doey in the end. If he's actually dead I'm gonna be so mad at you guys.

By Design: Look man, I like women. I like murderous women. I mean, when I first saw the original Alice, I was still a child and wasn't pan yet, but like, she likely contributed. hnnnrg, girls.

By Plot: Unlike Doey who brings me comfort when I relate to him and kicks in my material instincts towards anyone even remotely younger than me, Jupe's relation to me does not bring me comfort. Instead my connection to Jupe is more uneasy. Ricky and I both express our traumas in similar ways. That is to say monetize them and put them on display for all the entitled voyuers out there on the internet for attention. Now, I'm obviously not someone who was a victim of a chimp attack, but there's that familiar death of childhood there. I've grown up with an abusive father, which I didn't realize the extent of until this divorce is going through. And guess what my most prominent stories feature? yeah. I'm also the type of person to build a shrine to my trauma like him. While Ricky's is obviously a little more extreme, I still have my hospital bracelet from my appendectomy. That is not a normal response. I wear my first dog's tag on a chain, and when it's not worn it's next to that hospital band. Most of my stories involve my internal or external traumas in some way, just like Jupe capitalized on the exploitive movies and shows he was roped into as a child. I'm white, but I'm a woman and I'm queer. I get being the token item. Reduced to stereotypes. Forced to uphold other stereotypes in a never ending cycle of wanting to be on top, of vainly hoping that others will finally accept you into their group. But they won't. Jupe's storyline makes me viscerally uncomfortable, but my favorite part is the end. Just before Jean Jacket eats him, we see his lips twist into a smile. Faint, but there. Because finally, for the first time in his life, Ricky isn't defined by what groups he's part of, he's not vying for anyone's attention, he's not this special chosen one because he survived all those years ago, he's just like everyone else. He's merely food for that creature. And that is a freeing feeling. Finally, something has accepted him the way he is, with no fighting, no tense acceptance into a world that could throw you away at any time, he's finally safe. And for that, I think he loves Jean Jacket. Because I know, there's parts of me that wish the same. A release from the responsibility, and freakish nature of myself since I'm so different than those around me. If Doey is my comfort character, Ricky "Jupe" Park is my discomfort character. (In a good way)

Guilty Favorite: Look man, she's weird as fuck. She also saved my nightmare mode run. Again, I love weird women. Choo Choo Charles is great because it knows its lane and sticks to it. It knows it's a goofy ass train spider game, and it sure does deliver on that premise. Pickle Lady is so bizarre, I love her. I can't help but love her. Is she a good character? No. Do I like her anyway? Yeah.

All Time Favorite: DO I even need to say much about this guy? It's FNAF. It's toilet Bonnie. It's the boy. I love him. My favorite animatronic since I was like 12. Hell yeah dude, let's keep it up.

[oarfishing]

hi, Very Passionate Bug Lover here. if your method of killing insects involves going out of your way to cause them pain, a long death, or suffering, yes you are TA. mosquito bit your leg? Smack it, that's fine. It's a) directly harming you, b) its death is quick, and c) you are not targeting its entire species just because you think they're ugly/have no purpose/annoying. Spider is living in the corner of your room so you decide to drown it in shampoo? that is a) cruel, b) the spider never hurt you, and c) go to hell forever.

Every time one of those "aita for killing insects in this very particular way" posts pops out of queue, I get ever-increasingly esoteric submissions about bug extermination. Eager to see where we end up

[bleedingichorhearts]

Cause I am currently are suffering myself, how would the Primarchs (and Big E for shits and giggles) react to the Reader beeing in deep period pains? We talking arching joints, cramps and just pitiful wanting to go sleep for a year or 2.

At least if always make me want to sleep more haha. If you only feel like doing it for one Primarch go for it, choose your favurite that you want to put in this.

Summary - “Primarchs & Emperor react to your rather old enemy: your painful period.”

TW // Mild NSFW. Beta Read (Like Always)

The Emperor; “Revelation:”

This Emperor would be a lil' bastard about it, but not overly so. More like "Meh, you know how to care for yourself." Though, I do have an inkling that he cares in his own way but just... letting you have the day off, snuggle in that bed of his that he never uses, and sends a surf or custodies to check up in on you, and if you're lucky? He himself.

Lion El’Johnson; “The First:”

I think he would be a bit... indifferent about it. He sees you're in pain, yes, but so could another 1,000,000 females of baselines. He smells them everyday. Yet, you are his counterpart now so... special privileges to you, but honestly? It's only a little. Things are earned, not given. Though, if you keep up those eyes and vows? He supposes he can be swayed, but only by you or the Emperor.

Fulgrim; “The Phoenician:”

He's already on it. Hes' got you patterned down and sat down, rolled up in the sheets of his bed. You're having a week or two off, and other surfs can accompany you if you so wish. He was also deliver chocolate, heat pads, water... etc... to you, by himself. If he doesn't it because someone made him busy. So, in turn he will send one of his sons or surf. Would give kisses and cuddles any time you suggest a syllable. Lil' fanatic.

Perturabo; “Lord of Iron:”

You look like you're in pain... He observers but doesn't do much about it. He isn't going to be a servant to your needs. He will however order someone else to attend to you, but at least he's not completely disregarding you. He does like getting cuddles this time of the month and put your head under his chin when you two lay down. Thats the most you're going to get out of him beside him being like a heating pad himself.

Jaghatai Khan; “The Warhawk:”

Has the surfs attend to you, not to disregard you, but they definitely have more information on how to resolve such issues. He will however, attend to you if you would like his company more of that of the surfs. Would also bring you chocolates and snuggles. He knows at least the basics for the needy, woman body. Is rather quick not to leave you unsatisfied really.

Leman Russ; “The Wolf King:”

You’re bleeding? Why are you bleeding? Did he squish you too hard? No? It’s just a woman thing? He knows of it… or at least smelled it before and it definitely gets two heads thinking… One, he must snuggle you and spoil once more. Two? You’ll be perfect to bed afterwards. (Something like feeding your mate before actually mating.😅)

Rogal Dorn; “Praetorian of Terra:”

Is also one of the “meh” ones. He’s not thrilled or very much worried. He knows your strength, and knows how the female baseline body works. Though, again, you’re his lover and he’s not a complete fool to let you suffer the unfortunate. He will order you to stay in his quarters for the time being for… calculated reasons. He shall tend to you afterwards.

Konrad Cruze; “Dark King:”

Staring problem, staring problem. Looks at you as if you’re squirming bug. He lets you be of course, but doesn’t do too much to help. You’ll be a bit lucky if he chooses to snuggle you at night or some questionable foods… not the best at comforting you in these times…

Sanguinius; “The Angel:”

Sweet angel would offer to eat you out when he can. He knows it’s a bit of a… supply and it sedates his hunger. A win for both sides! Would get you some chocolates that you’ve been craving. Wraps you up in his wings, and just snuggles. He must make his food pretty before going all in. :)

Ferrus Manus; “The Gorgon:”

A bit… sweet about it. Tells you to have his quarters and he shall come to you when he gets the time. Once he does? He has a few chocolates to offer. Heck, maybe even some roses. (It’s an image in my head.😭) He’s treating you like it’s Valentine’s Day, not like he knows what that is… Again, he pretty sweet though.

Angron; “The Red Angel:”

Grumpy about it, always; any day. Doesn’t offer you any food, but he’s nod against to putting his hand on you abdomen and thumbing it with a scowl on his face. He enjoys the contact and the smell of you. Will he admit it? No. When sleeping his hands also just go to your abdomen outta instinct. You honestly get the best sleep.

Roboute Guilliman; “The Avenging Son:”

Is another that I think would be like it’s Valentine’s Day. He would bring you the sweets and flowers, maybe hoping for a truce durning these times. Doesn’t want to dare to not give you something during these times, and would let you sit in his lap if you so choose, but please. Allow him to work. (You don’t, and he can’t tell if he loves you more for it.)

Mortarion; “Death Lord:”

This man is a bit tricky for me, hmmm. I feel like he would give you flowers, and they smell incredible. Would snuggle you and take naps with you. I just view this man a bit like a sweet bear. I think he would just keep you close too.

Magnus The Red; “Crimson King:”

Another to let you on his lap while he reads. His hands stroking your back and occasionally going down to act as a heating pad. Would probably have some spell to “curse” you in a friendly way so your blood moon is more manageable. All he wants to do is help and improve! :D

Horus Lupercal; “The Lupercal:”

One of the best to go to for such pains. He would give you the luxury you need: chocolates, the softest and heaviest blankets, all the goodies! This includes himself too! He’s in the package! Would take the chance to bed you every night. So, the pains might disappear quickly, but something else might be gifted to you…

Lorgar Aurelian; “The Urizen:”

Already know. He worships you, and practically obeys your orders. He’s not one to pull the wrath of his wifey. So, he’s a bit of a loser, submissive. He gets you the sweets, the flowers, and becomes your person heating pad. Order him to bed you? He’s not hesitating.

Vulkan; “Lord of Drakes:”

The best heating pad ever, sweetest one too. You’re stating in his quarters, eating the best, fulfilling foods. You even get a safe, personalized lava rock heating pad! Your hubby definitely thinks about you. He’s on his way to get you some ice-creams, and hoping it doesn’t melt on him. He must not have your fury. Not like he minds…

Corvus Corax; “The Raven Lord:”

Another stare, but definitely better. Leaves a lil’ crow with you and tells you to have the day off, and the lil’ crow is honestly doing more for you than your lover. It’s amusing, and you can’t help but steal another crow for yourself. The little guy has been bringing you little trinkets along with some stolen goods. Your still in pain, but it’s more soothed by your little crow buddy. Corvus is a little jealous, but he redeems himself with hesitant cuddles and sweets.

Alpharius & Omegon; “The Last Primarch:”

One is snuggling you and the other is out getting sweets with his sons. They know where your time comes, of course they do. They know you, and the darkest secrets. They always get you your favorites and the things you love. You honestly just get bombed with Alpha Legionnaires as they try and play “who’s who” again, and you’re not having it. Snuggles are free to whoever will submit the quickest.

“@kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.”

“+@c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @marcela2000, @passionofthesith, @insanity6666, @ilovewolvezz.” - Tagged

[ratsummer]

So my bestie was telling me the other day about Phantom wanting to practice kissing and I am running away with it!!

It doesn't take long after he's summoned for Phantom to want to kiss his pack mates. Unfortunately, he is a very anxious and not-yet-well-adjusted ghoul, so he agonizes over who to go to for a long, long time. They're all so beautiful, and everyone has been happy to help him, but the thought of kissing them... of being vulnerable in that way... He agonizes over everything that could go wrong for hours on end. After much sleeplessness and pacing around his room with a notebook (Cirrus taught him about decision trees) he finally decides Mountain is the safest bet.

First of all, he sees Mountain kissing literally everyone, all of the time, everywhere. Anyone can see he's good at it. Anyone can see he likes it! Also, both Swiss and Rain have independently confessed to Phantom that Mountain is the best kisser. Mountain has never laughed at him for not knowing how to do something, so he at least almost certainly won't be mean if he thinks it's weird that Phantom hasn't ever kissed anyone. Really, Phantom feels pretty safe that he can walk away from the situation unscathed, no matter which way things go.

So. It's gonna be Mountain. Phantom works up all the courage in his little heart and goes to Mountain's door. When Mountain greets him, he sees a skinny little ghoul (the littlest quint he's ever seen, that might never wear off) clutching his weighted bat stuffy close and barely able to stammer out a hello.

The one thing that Phantom had unfortunately left out of consideration was Mountain's height. Even glamored, the guy towers over him. He's also generally quiet, so he really just has a very consistenly... looming quality to him. Which is fine! So fine! But Phantom is already embarrassed and nervous and this big beautiful ghoul is just looking down at him with his big pretty soft gentle eyes and his sweet lovely smile and it's all so disarming and Phantom is just shrinking in on himself more and more and he can't even say hello to Mountain and he's such an idiot and he shouldn't have come and-

"Hey, snuggle bug, come here. Come back to me."

And, oh. Mountain is kneeling in front of him. He's shorter than Phantom now, but only just barely, and... wow, okay, Phantom can breathe again. And Mountain is just holding his hips and gently squeezing, and his big heavy tail is gently thumping on the ground, and he's still smiling that beautiful soft smile.

It's such a relief to have Mountain holding him that Phantom doesn't realize he's crying until Mountain reaches up to softly wipe his cheeks. And then Phantom is giggling, and his face is so hot, and then he starts crying for real, and he feels so stupid but also so safe. And he apologizes to Mountain over and over, sorry, he doesn't know why he's crying.

And around his gasps and half-stuttered apologies, he finally manages to confess. "I don't even know why I'm crying. I just wanted to kiss with you."

And Mountain is grinning so big and pulling him close, and even though he's on his knees he's somehow still making Phantom feel safe and small. And Mountain nuzzles up under his jaw, and presses a sweet, tiny kiss there. He cups Phantom's cheeks, and tilts his head down so he can press a lingering kiss between his horns.

"I would love to kiss with you, snuggle bug. Should we get in my nest?"

And Phantom can only whine and nod, knuckles white as he clings desperately to Mountain's shirt. He refuses to let go, even as Mountain stands and towers over him once more, stretching Phantom's arms out over his head. Mountain just laughs softly, not mean at all, and grabs Phantom's thighs to pick him up and wrap them around his waist.

Phantom squishes himself as close to Mountain as he can, snuggled up against his chest like a baby bat. He tucks his face into Mountain's neck to breathe in his warm, familiar smell, and wraps his tail tight around Mountain's hips. Mountain is rubbing his back, a deep, rumbling purr rolling through his chest as he closes the bedroom door and turns to his nest.

"Alright, snuggle bug. You're alright. Mounty's got you."

And maybe Phantom's entire body is finally relaxing from being so tense for hours, stressing over whether he should or shouldn't approach Mountain. Maybe his eyes are heavy from crying. Maybe he's finally warm and calm and maybe a big, cozy ghoul is kissing his hair and wrapping a big, cozy blanket around him.

Maybe he can get kisses tomorrow.

[bayeis]

I've joked about it in the tags a lot but I've decided to sit down and actually compile a list on why I'm only half joking when I say my job is conditioning me to be the next Jonathan Sims

The Buried: A lot of my job involves putting people in small confined spaces, often with no windows and and a single, locked door. We frequently have people with claustrophobia that realize agreeing to be locked in a small space means being locked in a small space. 9.9/10 times they are peer pressured into doing it anyway, and have a miserable time

The Corruption:

The Building is rotting. There is no nice way to put this. The walls are slick with mold and soft to the touch, the ceiling drips despite us being on the ground floor of a two story building, the carpets squish with unknown water, and yet people's eyes just glaze past it. Our landlord for the building is a thick accent russian man who, for the past 4 years I've worked here, has changed his name on the emails several times, despite it undoubtedly being the same man, who I have met in the flesh twice before. The first time was to come into the building, shake my hand, and leave. The second time was to ask me to bring him upstairs (not apart of our business but we still have the key for some reason), which I did, and then have not seen him since. Speaking of upstairs, the handful of times I've been there it's just. Bizarre. An entirely furnished office space, completely abandoned. There's everything from paintings on the walls to files still in the cabinets and scattered across desks. I could not tell you what the office space used to be, or whatever the employees that worked there used to do, but I do know it was officially, genuinely abandoned because it was deemed unsafe to be in, from the sheer amount mold and rot. How it is somehow safe for us to work directly below with leaking ceilings I have no idea. I've occasionally had to dart up there with our key to snag a pair of scissors off one of the desks or some other office supply we can't locate in our own half, though I always disinfect them the second I bring them downstairs, and always wear a mask when I'm up there. There's also the bugs. I am so genuinely serious when I say one day I swept the lobby of our building and discovered the shelled corpses of around 300 dead superworms. Like the kind you would feed a pet lizard. I have no idea why they were there, how they got there, or anything. I just swept them up and disposed of them as my coworker watched in horror. Weird worm sightings aside, the building is frequently swarmed both in and outside with bugs, despite weekly exterminator visits. The stairwell to the second floor (located outside) spends about half the year covered in what has to be hundreds if not thousands of moth caterpillars and cocoons. Walking in that back porch area is near impossible as you cannot look anywhere without seeing the walls, floors, stairs, doors all bumpy and withering with the sheer amount of caterpillars (of the not so friendly verity as well. They feel like shattered glass to the touch and will frequently leave a rash). My old manager once found one in her ear. There. Are. Bugs. Everywhere.

The Dark:

Fairly self explanatory. The building gets zero light. The lobby has full glass doors, and walls of windows facing multiple directions but no matter how many blinds you open or what time of day it is you'll find your eyes slightly straining in the just slightly too dim setting. It's never bright enough. When we can get our lights to work (frequently blow out, and when they are attempted to be replaced we find that nearly every light fixture required a different kind of special bulb, meaning that to fix it requires hunting down that kind of random bulb, which will be different from all the others. An effort frequently left undone, dotting the building with random spots of shadows) they don't really help, not because they aren't bright enough, but because the building was designed with weird corners, so all the light the fixtures could be potentially giving, is almost immediately blocked out with odd shaped walls and randomized corners. Some rooms just don't have windows to even attempt to sap out some of the sunlight. The room the employees are made to sit in (about an 8ft by 8ft room) for the majority has no overhead lights, no windows, and like the rest of the building, the walls are painted solid black to sap any remaining light out. The only way you can see in there is from the glow of the monitors and two dim lamps shoved in opposite corners. We get complaints from customers that it's too dark and they can't see well, and we've tried everything to fix it, a desperate combination of lamps LEDs, and fairy lights, but no matter how hard we try, how many blinds we throw open, it's never bright enough.

The Eye:

Remember that employee room I mentioned with the monitors? Workers are instructed to sit in the room (control room) and watch their designated cameras. This is not a security job. Off the top of my head, our (relatively small building floor) has about 30 cameras. There is no where in the building you can be that doesn't have a camera. Even the control room has a camera so we can watch the employees watching people. Some of the cameras are on (all the cameras are always on, with the only way to shut them off being to physically rip them from the walls) but we have yet to find out how to access their feed. The cameras like to frequently switch, in that I mean their security codes, IPs, and registration numbers will jump and switch with each other to no rhyme or reason. When that happens I have to grab the notebook dedicated to writing down whatever this weeks IP numbers are and attempt to metaphorically shove the cameras back into place. We are not a security job, but we are, if you didn't know or guess, an escape room. The entire job, as I previously mentioned, is to sit and watch people freak out through the cameras. Everywhere a guest turns if they look up, there is a camera. Every word they say is recorded and logged. Every action they take is carefully judged. All while a worker sits in a completely dark room, all day, watching their designated cameras intently. I think, for the sheer inherentness of what this business does and advertises, we are the most closely working with the eye. I am one of the managers now, and there are even cameras pointed and trained at where I sit, even thought there shouldn't be anyone to watch them.

The Lonely:

This one applies less to our customers and more to the poor employees. This job is soul crushing. You can go an entire shift, sitting alone in a small dark room, watching people have fun, as you silently observe. I have thankfully graduated out of the control room into front desk, and yet I can go entire days not seeing a soul, watching people chattering as they enter and exit our neighboring buildings through windows that never seem to catch the sun. The "employee area" where we are supposed to be able to hang out in between games isn't really built for socializing. It has been overcrowded and shoved with chairs, so many fucking chairs, that it becomes near intimidating to try and navigate. The most use the room sees is when an employee shoves some of them together and takes a nap, because there is nothing to do. It's not like the employees don't like each other either, we all get along wonderfully for the most part, as well as coworkers relatively around the same age can (helps that we're all queer too), but once you're halfway through a shift, and absolutely nothing of interest has happened you start to drift. A typical lull between games (which can stretch for days in the off season) will usually result in me sitting alone at front desk, answering an occasional ghost call that hangs up immediately when I answer it, an employee sitting in the back area, surrounded by empty chairs facing the graveyard where we write old employees names, and another employee choosing to nest down in the control room, in the dark surrounded by monitors reflecting myself and the other worker being alone, angles scattered across the dozens of cameras. Even when we are busy, there's almost no time to socialize. I still sit alone at a front desk made for two, mindlessly checking people in with no altercation to the script, and the game hosts focus on their game, crammed into the control room with several other game hosts, all willingly silent as they watch whatever designated family they have through their cameras.

The Spiral:

Again, we are an escape room. The whole appeal is to present ourselves as confusing as possible. From room layouts, to our hallways, to the way the building wraps and twists, dumping people out at one door, opposite of where they just entered from, it is designed to drive people crazy. Honestly we don't help either. For our own entertainment, game hosts are particularly obtuse and confusing, partially because we don't want you to get out too early and partially because we have been watching the exact same thing over and over and over and it's starting to drive us a little crazy. People always do the exact same thing in the rooms, there's very little variation from the jokes made the to ideas brought forward. So if the game host wants to keep a little sanity, it's up to them to reek havoc on their game in hopes of startling out a new response, which, if one does occur, gets snapped up and thrown around the control room to the other employees for a slice of entertainment like a sliver of meat thrown to a starving pack of dogs.

The Stranger:

The doll room. Not a traditional "the stranger" kind of presentation, but gives that same prickling unnerving feeling.

In the exact center of the building layout there is a tiny room that is decked in as many old porcelain dolls as possible, all strung up from their necks and twisting around gently in non existent wind. Walking past the only physical door into the enclosed room, you'll usually hear the door rattling in it's frame, or one of the dolls knocking against the door. The room has no vents, no fans, no overhead lights. It's only light source is two red light bulbs, and the room was custom built by our owners. And like, I get it. It's an escape room. There's a creepy room. 1 + 1 equals 2. I cannot even being to describe the feeling this room gives or brings. Almost every time there is a group in there, one person in the group will become more unnerved then the rest, because one of the dozen of dolls looks uncomfortably similar to a doll they or a family member had as a child. The doll will sway on it's string noose as the cameras pick up the trickle of "doesn't that one look just like grandmas doll?" "this one kinda looks like my Betsy doesn't it?" with a chorus of agreements and half given glances, as the rest of the group gets absorbed with the next puzzle, and the single member who brought it up stares, and eventually leaves the room, typically not reentering the rest of the game. It is the strangest thing to watch (no pun intended). Occasionally, the similarity is met with delight, but more often then not it just seems to unnerve. The doll room also shares a wall with the control room, which means nothing, but is occasionally fun to kick.

The Web:

There's the obvious ones, our rooms are meant to trap people, the game hosts jobs besides watching the cameras is to manipulate the line of thinking the customers have, ect, ect. The most unnatural thing to note here isn't the standard workings of an escape room however, but the sheer vast amount of spiders in this goddamn building. I have never seen so many spiders in my life. We can't shake them. From how disgustingly rotted our building is at this point I think the spiderwebs are one of the only things keeping our building together. Again, we have an exterminator come by every single week both in and out of the building. The spiders refuse to let up, every day is a constant battle of knocking down their webs only to turn around and see they've put several more up. We've all but given up on trying to get them out of the employee only areas and now focus our war to the battle grounds of where customers can see to only mild success. This isn't even a regional or habitat thing, no other building I have lived or stayed in in this town has ever even come close to touching the spider infestation happening here.

In terms of other entities such as the Hunt, Slaughter, and Desolation, I can think of a handful of things that might align my job and them, but nothing solid enough that's worth mentioning. There has not yet been anything that reminds me of the End, Vast, or Extinction.

Other things to note,

Quitting is weird? People do, don't worry it's not a genuine hostage situation, but once they leave they are very rarely every sighted by coworkers again. I don't just mean not visiting the building, I mean like going completely off the grid and moving states if not in some cases countries. The entire time this business has been open and operable I've been the longest standing employee, at a record 4 years of the 7 it's been open. I could not name a single employee that has ever truly quit and has been easy to contact again by anyone. If you are able to, it's usually polite conversation with any mention of how you know each other (meeting at the job) being laughed and shut down quickly. No one whose left this place wants to talk about it and I get it, believe me. When we get an influx of summer employees to help with the rush the heat brings, I'm no longer allowed to help train because I would try warn the employees to pace themselves so they didn't experience Game Host Death too early (what we call when a game hosts snaps, having watched the same thing over and over and eventually loosing their mind over it, resulting in crying when told they have to run a game, weird twitching/manic-esque break downs, or in some memorable cases, game hosts just walking out in the middle of hosting a game). This is incredibly ironic considering the majority of employees have admitted the only reason they stick around is because they like working with me but I'm not here to toot my horn. There's also a large collection of employees who are neither employeed nor not, who have moved an hour or so away and have gotten a different, closer, better paying, and enjoyable job, and yet inexplicable will show up once in a blue moon asking for a shift at the escape room for no other reason then they felt compelled to. Typically anyone whose worked here for more then a season falls in this category. Currently we have four official employees for the off season (including myself) and yet if I count this stragglers who all genuinely hate this job (also including myself) our employee numbers easily go over 20. I cannot even imagine what the owners taxes look like for that (all paychecks and stubs are handled by a women who I have only ever emailed and never met). The owners themselves actually don't even live in the same state as us, and we are not apart of a chain. This is the only escape room they own. They're main business? Sheep farming. Which actually, that might be the slaughter right there. Despite working for them for so long, the amount of times I have met them can be counted on one hand. They are completely uninvolved, this business is no mans land. I've thought about quitting multiple times, even briefly lived in another city states away, and yet still found myself back, inexplicably every time I think about leaving again a nice little bonus or raise hits my paycheck, a system I can't really complain about. As for the other managers, I've outlasted several. The only way I have ever seen anyone on the management team leave is to have the biggest mental breakdown known to man and disappear. That's literally it. I've watched it happen so many times. The only employee that came close to being here as long as me was my original manager, who, a couple of months before she left, started loosing her mind, twitchy, paranoid, at her wits end. She isolated and locked herself in one of the rooms for about a month, only emerging at the end of the shift. I tried to approach her once about it and she shaved her head as a panic response. This fucking job, it was choking her from the inside out. Eventually she couldn't handle it and left, effective almost immediately. In the span of a month I watched several new managers cycle in and out, from the women who would sit behind me and silently cry, to a previous employee who realized the jail cell of a role she was being forced into an dipped before the owners could lock the door on her. The current manager is the ex fiancee of the women who locked herself in a room for a month. The horrors are a cycle fr

[homelanderbutbig]

In relation to the caterpillar ask...

I would be the total opposite. The absolute worst influence. Just every time I see a bug I'd be begging him to squish it. Bribing him and stroking his ego.

"Baby pleeeease? I need my hero to save me 🥺"

"I'll make milkshakes if you get that fly for me~"

"I'll love you 10million times more if you laser that spider out of existence 😚"

Y'know, just being like, it's okay to not be gentle when it comes to my worst nightmares. I'd be so happy with him for getting a spider or smth for me and be promising that he did good and how proud I am of him for saving me.

Excuse me for this brain spill ask lol but I would definitely use his powers a little bit to my advantage 😭

Love you HBB 🧡

Lmao, you know what the problem with that is?? He'd start killing "imaginary" bugs just so you can keep praising him! 😂

It'd start out innocent sure, getting to protect you and show off his powers for promises of affection. But once he realizes he'll keep getting rewarded for smooshing bugs, that man would milk it for all it's worth. Seeking them out everywhere you two are. Then he'd begin fabricating the insect sightings so he can keep getting the increased amount of attention you know he'd refuse to let lessen. Not now that's he's accustomed to it. >w>

You'd both be sitting on the couch in his penthouse, a quiet afternoon. Then suddenly he'd laser a teensy spot on the floor, grinning at you. "I just killed a spider for you babe".

"Really?" you say. "I didn't see anything."

"Psssh, who's the one with super vision here? It was coming right for us," he says, unable to hide that smart-ass smirk of his. "It was pretty big too."

"And I believe you owe me a kiss," he'd finally say, leaning over expectantly.

Now you have to come to terms with the fact you've created a needy monster, haha. Good luck convincing him to back down a little. He'd be sending you these texts when you stop calling him "good boy" for stomping on a bug. 🤣

[asterias-corner]

Softly spoken ★

Phantom nesting 🎀(NOT freaky) WITH PERPETUA CAUSE I NEED FICS WITH HIM IMMEDIATELY!!!! (Phantom x perpetua if you want it)

—————

Phantoms instincts kicked in, on a random night, the urge to get so unbelievably comfy that even god himself wouldn’t dare to move him. 

Phantom was determined, so he scurried around quietly, despite it being late into the night, he still snuck into rooms of his fellow pack mates, taking bedding, clothes, and stuffed animals.He’d returned to his room, making a circle with pillows, then one of mountains blankets, layering blankets of different scents from his pack, and adding stuffed animals on top. By the time it was nearly 7 am, the quint had made a nice comfy nest to finally sleep in, getting comfy while purring contently.

~

Perpetua had awoken early, as he usually did. He made a coffee, taking slow sips as his brain slowly woke up with his body. He wandered aimlessly, trying to familiarize himself with the halls and passageways of the abbey, which were like a twisting labyrinth. 

While he wandered, he’d ended up in the ghoul wing, the only sign of the entryway being the sudden shift in atmosphere. While the main areas of the abbey were peaceful, and lacking in any activity, it seemed the ghoul wing constantly had humming energy, and if you focused hard enough, you could even smell the distinct scent of ghoul, which was pleasant, like the seasons cycling through a year.

Though, the papa saw someone bolt through one doorway to the next- one of the ghouls. He stared at the doorway he’d seen them exit and enter, his brain slowly registering it. Why would a ghoul be sneaking around in their own den? He wandered in, going to where the ghoul had gone, and he found the door closed. Perpetua rapped his knuckles against the wood softly, awaiting a response. There was nothing for a moment, but a chitter that was far from a sound he’d heard a ghoul make before, came from behind the door.

“Can I.. come in..?”

He was hesitant, was it an invitation or a protective sound?

The chitter was louder, and he took it as an invite.

Opening the door, he saw the quintessence ghoul, phantom, curled up under piles of blankets and belongings that were definitely not his- staring right at him. 

Perpetua stared at the quint, his big eyes staring right back. Now the nickname ‘bug’ made sense to him. He set his coffee down, lost for what to even say, he hadn’t exactly come in with a plan, or intention other than curiosity. But, before he could even get a word out he was yanked into the pile, and was locked in by the ghouls arms. For being as small as he was, phantom was undoubtedly strong.

“Eh..- phantom why are you doing this?”

Perpetua questioned hesitantly, squirming a bit- which earned him an angry chirp, and being squished tighter in the quints grasp, making him let out a strangled noise. 

“Phantom-“

He tried again, managing to get his arms free. 

“You’re comfy”

The smaller ghoul happily purred, nuzzling into his side, the noise was soft, and strangely comforting.

“Thank you..?”

He was a little confused, but phantom was happy, so he at least was doing something right. 

Phantom didn’t do much else, other than fall asleep with his arms and tail wrapped around perpetua. The comforting atmosphere was enough to lull the pope back to sleep, promptly forgetting about anything else that could’ve been important. —————

A/N: I actually proofread this one guys! Where’s my gold star? Also I’m unsure about perpetuas personality so don’t hate me 💔

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Would Hit With My Car

(I don't have a licence and can't drive so this is just for fun OBVIOUSLY)

LISTEN, I love these characters. They are complex, they are human, they are flawed and yet you can't help but root for them. Or they are just giant assholes.

Regadless, I think they would all benefit from getting hit by a car as a little treat.

Feel free to tag yourselves and participate in a bit of lighthearted negativity and media complaining.

1) Ben From Never Let Me Go (2022)

Of course he would be on this list. Mainly because how are you, a closeted gay in a coming of age bl drama, sitting down in front of a piano next to a beautiful boy and not just completely eat his face in a passionate life altering kiss? I understand that was the whole point of the scene, but personally I would rise above the narrative that was trapping me.

2) Dan from Not Me (2021)

Being a cop, killing Sean's father and selling NFTs is bad enough on it's own, I agree. But Dan's biggest sin was taking the cigarette out of Yok's mouth and depriving us of seeing sad First Kanaphan smoking near a body of water-THE queer cinema experience.

As it turns out, you can be gay and homophobic at the same time.

3) Kenji from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

So you have funky hair and kawnty fashion sense? Oh, you partake in fun bathtub threesomes? What, you're a little unhinged and psychotic? Perfect! THEN WHY THE HELL YOU SUCK AT BEING A VILLAIN SO HARD HUH???

Kenji you better put your helmet on, I'm turning on the engine.

4) Kanghan from Dangerous Romance (2023)

Rich people don't deserve rights in general so Kang was already on thin ice to begin with. But being a bully on top of that? UNDER THE HOOD OF THE CAR YOU GO!

Also he is so attention starved on account of his father being a negligent asshole that he will jump in front of my car willingly just to get a drop of love from dad and Sailom.

5) Yu Xi Gu from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

(I'm so so incredibly sorry but I HAD to okay you don't underst- *gets shot immediately*)

6) Mork from Fish Upon The Sky (2021)

I looked at Pond for 0.1 second and fell so embarrasingly in love that for the entirety of FUTS I saw no flaws in Mork's character at all. All he did made sense and I was blissfuly having a great time! So I'm pummeling him to the ground for my own sake I CAN'T KEEP BEING THIS STUPID ABOUT HIM HE IS OBJECTIVELY CREEPY!

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

Was he in my "I want them carnally" list? Yes. Do I find him beautiful and incredible? Double yes. Am I smearing him on asphalt like a squished bug for causing Mark so much unnecessary pain and heartbreak? More likely than you think.

8) Jiwoo from To My Star/ To My Star 2 (2021-22)

MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!! A crumb of healthy communication is all I'm asking for!

Jiwoo was so emotionally bricked up for the majority of both seasons that it caused ME damage. So me hitting him with my car is both a revenge plot and an attempt to let loose some of those pent up feelings of his.

(But also I'm dead meat if Seojoon finds out it was me behind the wheel. He loves that boy too much.)

9) Zee from Twins (2023-24)

I'm volunteering to do this as public service to keep Sprite and First together without any twins switch drama. One gremlin down, one successful volleyball couple UP!!

10) Winner from Pit Babe (2023-24)

I want to do it as an experiment. I feel like he would make a funny sound under the wheels, like when you sqeeze clown's nose or step on a rubber duck. I would also like to see how this will affect his character. Will he become even more annoying? Will it fix him completely? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!!

(This was so fun I love inflicting imaginary violence on fictional men. If you read this far into this incoherent insanity, consider yourself tagged!💖)

[bots-and-cons]

Requesting a part two for the scenario where Megatron's gender neutral s/o got reincarnated as a spark in a human body 👀👉👈

A/N: I had a lot of plans for this "series", but now I don't remember anything I planned previously. These parts are pretty short, at least for now. You can find the first part here. I used she/her for the soulmate in their previous life, because I felt that was simpler to write, but the current human incarnation is written gender neutral.

It had been weeks, literal weeks since you'd come face to face with Megatron, but you still couldn't get him out of your head. It wasn't constant, but every time there was a quiet moment in your head, he would sneak in. You could still feel the way he had looked at you. It was like the feeling was stuck to your skin, and every time you thought about him, it gave you this unscratchable itch. It was weird, uncomfortable and infuriating. At the same time you didn't know if you wanted it to stop, you didn't want him to stop looking at you like he had.

You felt conflicted. He was supposed to be the enemy. The autobots' enemy, humanity's enemy, your enemy, but when you had looked into those optics, you'd seen none of the hate and fury he was so known for. What you'd seen was longing, yearning for something he missed and no longer possessed. Something he had lost, probably a long time ago.

"What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I thinking about this?" you groaned quietly.

Megatron didn't know what had gotten into him. He knew it started the moment he'd seen you, the autobots' pet human. He didn't understand why someone like you, someone so insignificant, someone so meaningless, had caused such turmoil in his spark. It reminded him of someone he'd lost so long ago. She had been his conjunx, his soulmate, his everything, but he had lost her so long ago.

It was at the beginning of the war, when it had first broken out, everything was chaos. The tensions had been high and he had been careless. He'd known she could have been in danger because of her association with him, but he didn't take the proper precautions. She had been taken by a rogue faction of the autobots. Bots that didn't follow the new Prime, but still opposed the decepticons. Bots that didn't give a single thought to the consequences of their actions, and it cost them their lives. They took his conjunx and killed her to make a statement. Megatron had spent a long time tracking the group down after his soulmate had been killed. The anger her death caused had stuck with him, it had become a part of him. He had held onto that fury since then, until it became a part of his core personality. He knew he was angry before he lost her, but the fury her death ignited in him was different. It had fueled him all the way until now.

He just couldn't get you out of his mind. He wasn't used to feeling uncomfortable like this. He could handle physical pain, no problem, but being in an emotional jumble? No, it just made him want to hit something, or someone. Maybe that was it, maybe he just needed to squish you like the bug you were. Surely getting rid of you would make everything right again. He would be rid of these feelings, and hopefully the old memories would stop resurfacing. He didn't need a constant reminder of the worst time in his life. Your demise would definitely fix this, right?

[cuttergauthier]

Hockey x Football

I hope you love it❤️

(These photos do not belong to me, this is all fanfiction)

Jack Hughes x Female Kelce Reader

Jackhughes

Liked by Ynkelce, Trevorzegras and more

Jackhughes my girl🤍

Tagged ynkelce

View all comments

Ynkelce I love you🤍

→Jackhughes love you more🤍

Elblue06 you guys are the cutest 🥹🤍

→ ynkelce miss you mama hughes🤍

→ Jackhughes Love you mom🤍

Trevorzegras since when do you have a girl?!?!?

→ Jackhughes dude I told you like 6 months ago?

→Trevorzegras I thought it was just a dream🤷🏻‍♂️

→ Colecaufield idiot!!!

→Jackhughes 🤦🏻

Quinnhughes you guys make me feel so single🙄

→Jackhughes then find yourself a girlfriend!

→Ynkelce Jack don’t be rude!!

Alexturcotte she looks familiar 🤔

→ ynkelce 🫣

Jasonkelce You better treat her right!!!!!

→ Jackhughes always!!!

→ Alexturcotte wait a damn minute….

NicoHischier The team likes her more than you!!!

→ dougiehamilton I agree!!!!

Dawsonmercer 🥹🥹

Joshnorris You better not fuck up, i’m pretty sure her brothers could squish you like a bug!!!

→traviskelce You got that right!!!

→Jackhughes 🫣

Ynkelce

Liked by Jackhughes, Traviskelce and more

Ynkelce Apparently I’m more of a hockey fan than a football fan!🤷🏼‍♀️🤩🏒❤️

Tagged Jackhughes, Njdevils

View all comments

Jackhughes I’m glad!!😉🤍🤍

traviskelce he’s lucky jason and i actually like him!

→ ynkelce hehe🤭

Donnakelce you two are so cute!!!❤️

→ynkelce Love you mom❤️

→Jackhughes Thanks mama kelce!!!

Trevorzegras I don’t like you, you went and stole my man😭

→ynkelce what can i say, he loves me more!!

→Jackhughes trev why am i friends with you?🤦🏻

→Trevorzegras BECAUSE I’M AMAZING!!!

→Ynkelce are you sure?

→Trevorzegras I’m not talking to you!

→Quinnhughes Trevor stop acting like a baby!!!!!

Patrickmahomes I feel betrayed 😐

→ynkelce Sorry pat!!!!!

→ Colecaufield oh. My. God.

Kyliekelce The prettiest girl ever🤍

→ ynkelce I love you!!! I’m coming to visit you & the kids soon!!!🤍🤍

→ Kyliekelce Can’t wait!!

NicoHischier The better sport!!!!

Dawsonmercer DID YOU SEE MY GOAL?!?!?

→ Ynkelce YES, IT WAS AMAZING!!!

→Dawsonmercer THANK YOU!!

→Jackhughes WHY ARE WE YELLING ?

AlexTurcotte Jack forgot to mention the part where you’re related to Travis and Jason Kelce!

→Jackhughes oups!

Colecaufield YAYY!!

Kansascheifs we are offended!

→Ynkelce Sorry admin😐

Trevorzegras Wait… are the rumour true about taylor swift??

→ynkelce I thought you hated me?

→Trevorzegras Will you tell me if i say it was a joke?

→ Jackhughes Trevor leave my girlfriend alone!

→ Ynkelce Listen to jack!!!!

Ynkelce

Liked by Traviskelce, Jackhughes and more

ynkelce Ignore what i said last time football is back to being my favourite🏈🤍

Tagged Jackhughes, donnakelce, Taylorswift, blakelively, ryanrenolds, ellenhughes

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Jackhughes Can’t argue with that!!

Quinnhughes bring me next time!!!!

→ Ynkelce Definitely!!!!

Alexturcotte Trevor is gonna be jealoussss,

Colecaufield Omg yn I love you for this!!!!!

→ ynkelce 😂😭

→ Jackhughes 🤦🏻

NicoHischier Where was my invite?

→ dawsonmercer or mine?

→ Ynkelce Jack i told you we forgot something 🤦🏼‍♀️

→ Jackhughes my bad boys!

Tysmith Never thought i’d be jealous of jack…

→ Jackhughes it’s because of taylor isn’t it?

→ Tysmith yes!

Jamiedrysdale Oh Trevor is going to love you now😂

→ ynkelce He’s not going to leave me alone now is he?

→ Jamiedrysdale Nope!

Ryanrenolds hockey game next?

→ Blakelively Yes!!!

Blakelively So nice meeting you, we have to hangout again soon!!!!

→ ynkelce Definitely!!!!

Traviskelce The best part was seeing me right?

→ ynkelce sure let’s go with that!

→ Jasonkelce 😂

Trevorzegras YOU HUNG OUT WITH TAYLOR SWIFT?!?!?!?!

Trevorzegras I DON’T HATE YOU ANYMORE

Trevorzegras INVITE ME PLEASE, I WANT TO MEET HER!!

→ ynkelce Maybe… maybe not

→ Trevorzegras PLEASE I’LL NEVER BE MEAN TO YOU AGAIN🙏

→ Ynkelce I’ll invite you next time, NOW STOP TEXTING ME!!

→ Trevorzegras THANK YOU THANK YOU

→ Jackhughes Oh my🤦🏻

Elblue06 the most fun football game ever🤍

→ ynkelce So happy you could make it!!🤍

Taylorswift I love you🤍

→ ynkelce I love youu🤍

→ Trevorzegras OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS REAL!

→ Taylorswift Hi trevor!

→ Trevorzegras sjduywbsudjsj

→ Troyterry so this is why Trevor fainted?!?

→ Jamiedrysdale i think trevor had a heart attack…

→ Ynkelce oups… did you take a video?🫣→ Jamiedrysdale sending it to you now!

[th3fam1lyd1ssap01ntm3nt]

RAAAAAHHHHHHH hello :3!!!

I am

Wondering if you would be ever so kind,,,

To write the monster au(or the hybrid au) of TF141 and I was like oh,,, Gaz no on list,,, who else,,, Johnny. Request thee Johnny, you could add the others for funsies as well, I don't mind the werewolf Johnny I like hims a lot as ,, but like, imagine, Male!user(I don't know what we call him erm male whatever the fuck his name is idk the WHORE sorry he's not maybe? Maybe he is actually idk it's male reader around those sluts 😠😠/HJ....) who usually kept his hybrid features hidden for god knows what reason because it's him??? He's just?? He's a little silly, but like "omg a human on the team grrr!!!" Is reaction from almost everyone until they warm up to him later and then he's just revealed as a moth hybrid :3 moth man, he squeaks when angry because moths can squeak and that's very interesting to me :3 and he just itty bitty plush like and plush size and shorter than them, but yeah they angry thinking he human, get close to the "human", they wake up early one morning, see the man they thought was human, but is a moth hybrid, standing in the kitchen, deadass staring into the kitchens light for god knows how long he was standing there, antennas just out as he's focused on the light, not even noticing them standing beside him, he's just staring at the light until someone turns that shit off and then he's just back like " ! " "When did you wake up???" Like .

PLLEAAAASEEEEEE PLEAAASEEEEEEEEE PPPLLLLEEAAAASEEEEEEEE I BEG FOR HIM TO HAVE SOME CHUB TO HIM I BEG FOR MOTH MALE READER WHO USES HE HIM PRONOUNS FOR THE HYBRID/MONSTER AU TF141 LEMSJWJSJS I want chubby male ones to be loved☹️

Have a wonderful day yahhhh‼️‼️‼️

RRAAAAHHH MY FIRST ASK!!!! (Omfg tysm u don’t know how happy this makes me :3 )

Lemme get this straight.. a moth hybrid! male reader x Werewolf! Johnny (Soap) Mactavish?? Ill see what i can do!!

(Inspired by the Monster AU by whisperrwarm on X, when I say INSPIRED I mean, not everything is the same!)

Characters:

John (Soap) Mactavish: A Werewolf

Simon (Ghost) Riley: A Wendigo

Captain John Price: A Dragon

Male Y/N: A Moth

Just a cute wee pudgy lad :3

Tw: Swearing, suggestive content, Male x Male

Since Anonymous wanted M! Y/N to be pudgy, I imagine that he would have the shape of something like this:

Moth Dust

(A Johnny (Soap) Mactavish x Male! Reader fic)

You, LN, FN, (last name, first name), who would have thought out of all possibilities of hybrids, you would be a moth. Not that its a bad thing, it was just rather annoying though.. you were picked on constantly because of it, your hight, your looks, and what made you insecure the most, your weight.

Not that you were huge, but you were fun sized, the perfect love handles, and the loveliest thing of all, your thick thighs. Aye, its like they say, ‘Thick Thighs Save Lives!’ You tend to hide your moth features though, fearing that a hybrid with predatoristic features might harm you.

I mean.. c’mon, you were a moth and there were damned stronger mutants out there.. its like the food chain with normal animals, and as embarrassing as it was, many things ate bugs. And what are you a hybrid of? A bug. Well.. a domesticated silk moth to be more specific, but still!

Being a moth you were fluffy and small, and well.. adorable. But you never though of yourself as that short.. until you joined the military that is-

“Bloody fucking christ! How fucking big does a man need to be here?!?” You thought to yourself once you actually saw how large the men in Task Force 141 where. There was one in particular who stood intimidated you from his height, Simon Riley, better known here as Ghost, and he stood a strong 6’2”!!

He could easily fucking squish you like the bug you are if he wanted! You were intimidated by the other men slightly, I mean, c’mon! Your captain is a fuckin Dragon for Christ sake!

But wow… boy were they lookers though- there was one in particular who stood out to you the most, he looked like a dog hybrid, but that didn’t seem right for some reason? What stood out to you the most was those elegant.. enticing.. wonderful blue eyes… wait. What the hell? Were you staring? Oh shit, didn’t anyone see you staring at him?

Your mind was racing at the thought of being caught staring. “Did anyone see that? Shit- did he see that?!” You thought to yourself, more like mentally screamed at yourself, but still..

(Not finished, currently busy, will finish soon!)

[monotonesmile]

Jaime Reyes x reader, who is starfires cousin or sister (you can pick) who is Tamaranean from Tamaran. Also can you make it fluff and romantic please and ty.

P.s : Maybe he is taking us on a date or something? Also khaji da is a bit making fun of him for being cheesy with the pick up lines

Have a nice day! 💙

You give me butterflies

[Jaime Reyes X Fem!Tamaranean!Reader]

[Word Count: 1471]

[Warnings: Khaji-Da is his own warning]

[Fic Genre: Pure Fluff]

[Notes: Finally, I get to write about this stupid bug again, my favorite blue. Khaji-Da is in italics when talking.]

————————————————————

Jaime was always more than happy to plan any of their dates, seeing his alien girlfriend light up with excitement always brings a smile to his face, and it’s always a good time when introducing her to new people and places. He knows she loves to share facts about her planet, including her relationship with her sister Starfire, so he is always happy to show her more and more of his own home and planet.

Although anytime he does happen to share his own love for his planet with her, Khaji-Da just has to tease him about it every single time, the alien insect just has an eye for taunting it’s host, especially about his romantic life, there’s never a moment of peace with Khaji-Da around, leaving Jaime with sighing constantly in mild annoyance or irritation.

The last time they’d gone on a date, he took her to an amusement park so she could experience the rides and the general vibe of the crowded park. It definitely wasn’t a sneaky way to see if she could handle crowds, and she was so excited, she had a great time at the park. He knew now that she could handle crowds, which gave him the green light for multiple date ideas he’s had for a while, but he didn’t want to overload her on human interaction constantly, so this time, Jaime decided to take her to a Butterfly Garden.

Jaime had seen her constant curiosity towards the wildlife of earth, seeming curious of the differences between their planets wildlife and nature, she was also curious and wanting to learn more about his world, so why not introduce her to some of the most delicate insects on his planet, which he was sure to tell her about before they went inside, making sure she understood that these creatures are very delicate and to be careful to not crush any.

He couldn’t help but smile as he watches her excitedly hover around the domed in garden, it was always going to be obvious that she was an alien, she had the habit of just floating everywhere, and of course, the flowing hair that looks similar to flames moving, she was grinning so brightly as she looked around at the foliage and fluttering creatures.

“Why are you hovering?” He tilts his head as he grins softly, curious as to why she’s specifically floating at this moment, even though she has the habit of flying, she does spend many moments just walking around, especially on their dates.

“I fear I may squish one of them, like you warned me off. I do not want to do that.” She looks over at him with a sheepish expression, clearly concerned about accidentally squishing one of the many butterflies fluttering about the garden.

“ay amor…” Jaime chuckled softly, shaking his head as he crossed his arms. Everything she did was absolutely adorable to him, how she was so concerned over the little creatures around them was so endearing, she cared so much for everything that existed on this planet, especially him.

His moment of admiring his girlfriend was interrupted only seconds after by the one and only Khaji-Da, who of course, taunts him immediately, “You are pathetically in love, Jaime Reyes.”

“Seriously dude?” Jaime sighs, running a hand through his hair as the alien attached to his spine cuts through his original train of thought with his voice. Khaji-Da does this every single time.

“I am merely stating what I see, Jaime Reyes, and that is your disgustingly loving stare at the Tamaranean.” Khaji-Da hums from within his mind, making Jaime roll his eyes as he chuckles quietly to himself, keeping his voice low and quiet so he doesn’t attract any unwanted stares, well, anymore than he already has because of his girlfriend.

“That’s a bad thing?” Jaime questions the bug with a little grin, watching as she hovers around the garden, pausing at one of the many information plaques that are about the path, seeing her face light up with giddiness, likely from whatever she’s learning off the plaque.

“…I suppose not.” Khaji-Da mutters in begrudging agreement with his host, he can’t deny that Jaime has an absolutely incredible amount of love for his girlfriend, even if Khaji-Da teases him for it, he supposes it’s not a bad thing.

“That’s what I thought.” Jaime hums with satisfaction and a smidge of cockiness when he gets the stubborn alien scarab to agree with him, albeit it was a very begrudging response, but regardless, he’ll take it with stride.

“Besides, she’s a perfect mate for you.” And there it is, Khaji-Da always judged his choices in partners by scanning them to see if they would be deemed a good mate for Jaime, which most of the time, Khaji-Da says they aren’t, but not this time, he actually likes his girlfriend this time.

“Khaji-Da!” Jaime chokes on his own saliva, coughing into his fist to try and disguise his momentary shock from any people walking by, waving it off when she had looked over at him with confusion and slight concern etched onto her face.

Jaime clears his throat, trying not to cough as he waves off his sudden choking. He knew she’d obviously be concerned about him, and it was so sweet of her, but the damn parasite on his back somehow always managed to surprise him even after all these years of being stuck with him, and it’ll likely continue the entire time he has Khaji-Da.

“I’m fine, amor…” His voice was roughed up slightly from his sudden coughing fit as he calmed his girlfriend with a shaky smile, a soft blush coating his face when she hovered over to him to confirm his words for herself.

“But you sounded surprised by something.” Her hands cupped his cheeks, holding his face with such a gentle touch.

“It’s fine, so uh…which butterfly is your favorite so far?” Jaime leans into her touch with a soft kiss on her palm, changing the topic to avoid the awkward conversation that would follow him if he tried to explain why he had started coughing earlier, that is not a conversation he wants to have.

Her face shifted from concern to overjoyed, grinning with excitement as she spoke, “The pipevine swallowtail! It’s blue, like you, it is so very pretty! Just like you are!” She gently squeezes his cheeks as they darken with a flustered smile spreading across his face.

“mi amor…me halagas…” Jaime sputters out as he glanced away, a red blush coating his dark skin, he could practically envision the smirk Khaji-Da would be making if he had a face, already predicting the teasing that would come from this.

“But it’s true! They are as beautiful as you are!” She smiled at him with utter enthusiasm, she loved to compliment him, she liked how his face would change hues from her words, so she does it quite often, and if she’s not complimenting him, she’s touching him in some way, such as holding his face in her hands.

“Now you’re giving me butterflies…” Jaime murmurs into her palm with a soft chuckle, nuzzling into her soft hands, letting her warmth envelop him with comfort and love, his heart fluttering in his chest with her constant compliments, he adores that one thing about her.

She tilts her head, curious about the expression of words before moving away slightly to pick up one of the delicate blue butterflies, and then placing it gently in his hair with a smile. “Yes I am!” She chirps joyfully as she agrees with him, assuming he wanted her to literally give him butterflies.

Jaime blinks before another chuckle erupts from him as the insect is placed in his hair, making sure to not make any sudden movements to jostle the little bug, looking up at her as she happily hovered in front of him as she placed a few more butterflies on his body, standing still so she can place them wherever she so pleases.

“That comment not only confused her, but it was also incredibly cheesy, Jaime Reyes.” Khaji-Da remarks as Jaime shook his head again, he knows not even Khaji-Da would want to interrupt this moment, so Jaime shushes the scarab, making him fall silent as he tracks her movements while she gently picks up another butterfly.

Jaime thinks to himself about this date, considering it another well executed date that resulted in him covered in butterflies while his heart flutters about in his chest with pure adoration for his girlfriend, she was happy, and he will take that as a job well done, as long as she had a good time, he was happy with the day. Maybe he’ll take her to an aquarium or zoo next time to introduce her to more animals of earth.

————————————————————

[Translations]

“ay amor…” -> “oh love…”

“mi amor…me halagas…” -> “my love...you flatter me…”

————————————————————

[Requests are open!]

[puriteenism]

bug church

when i was little i trounced along to Sunday School, dress itching, kid bible in hand

and learned about how the good Lord is the only one that can kill, well they didn’t say that

but that was the gist

if we break his rules he can strike us down and also

how god is good and kind yet incomprehensible

and how he provides for us

in other news a little bug crawled on me today, i don’t even know its species and

i don’t care

it broke my rule of being in my house so i

damned it with my almighty power to a painful death and extended my fearsome grace

to erase its vile existence

for it was a sinner and its death was fine atonement

i didn’t even notice as i reached out to squish it

it became a bloody speck on my table like a rapture stain

its life would probably be only a day more if i didn’t, i reasoned and

i went on with my day

the bug did not, because it was dead

because of me

only God can kill so

i wonder what we are to bugs

we are the ones that control the world

and killing a bug is not bad

we are not held accountable for it

and bugs are not answerable to the Cross, at least my mum says so

as i restock the leaves, the replenishment for the stick insects at bug club

i am reminded of the 5000 fish and loaves of bread,

and how when i ran out of good testimonies when i was little i simply said that i

thank god for bringing me to church safely

as i try and keep my leaf insects safe because I love them

they cannot comprehend me either but we feed them and house them

and protect them

God is mostly kind in my Bible

so i think, if i am like a god to a bug

i should be kinder to small things, and all that depends on me

as my divine duty

[jame7t]

do you know what to do with all these molted cicada nymph shells

Sure, they're not dead, but they still give off the same vibe to me. You know? The empty casings of a spent thing? Dust gathering in the recesses where something used to be? Sure, they're not dead, but they still set off my Necroentomophobia. Fear of dead bugs! Did you know that? Did you know people could be scared of dead bugs? Whatever. It's not the same as being scared of a bug, sure. But I can be scared of a lot of bugs. Sure, little things, like the humble lady bug- not scary. Butterflies, scant as they are, are only off-putting to me. The beautiful moth? Well, I love it, but I don't want to hurt it. It's whimsical, fat body makes me nervous. I don't want to squish it by accident! Because then it would be a dead bug.

And that's worse. It's like, not precisely a direct fear of a dead bug. It won't leap at me in a defiant rage, or be waiting for me around the scary corner. It's more like a shortcut to existential dread. It's a combination of 'ew!' and 'I am going to die one day' and more importantly, if a bug is dead, something has killed it. And you never know if that something is still lurking around. Just kidding. Do you know what a cicada shell is made of? That's right. It's the happy chitin! I don't have an issue with chitin. We're not chitinous beasts, but we have the enzymes to break them down. Humans, that is. This isn't a science fiction piece. This is my blog. I've always thought chitin was interesting though- it's a natural armor made for little guys ostensibly. Little guys in the sense, that it is for bugs only. Well, crabs have chitin, and they can get pretty big- The spider crab can grow over 300 feet in diameter. Just kidding, it can't do that. It's pretty big though. At this point, you'd think: 'Okay- crab reference, and a direct link to the enzymes to break down chitin. Do we eat them? Should we eat the Cicada shells?' Well, I'm not going to. That sounds kind of scary to me. Would you? Would you eat the shell of a thing? I can't imagine it tastes good. I'm eating potato chips right now. They're yummy, and crunchy, and in many ways- the opposite of the humble cicada's false corpse. A lying bug. A lying, cheating, swarming thing. A bug we don't like. A bug we have to deal with. Don't we have to deal with everything? Would it be easier to show less mercy to the little things? It wouldn't, and it would be mean. And that's worse. Anyway, to answer your question, you turn them into mulch, apparently. Or bury them in a hole. Through my research, those were the only two real options we have. There's also 'add them to compost.' So that's three, you have three options. Do you want my opinion? No? Moving on then. There's also a fourth option- a telling one, at that. A sort of 'secret option' lots of people choose. 'Let them decompose on your lawn.' Right? Right, the easy one? Might as well call it 'do nothing.' Doing nothing is always a choice, sure, but when you give me the choice to 'do nothing' in a game, or choose your own adventure, it always seems like a lazy choice on the developer's part. And sure, from your real life perspective, it's probably the easiest. But from a game design perspective? You have to account for the player sitting and watching. What happens if I don't intervene? What happens if I let it continue? Well, in the case of the empty cicada, they stink apparently. I've never noticed it, and we have cicadas here- but I've been lucky enough to never be out in or see a swarm. A predecessor of mine once recalled a story in which the swarm was so bad, you couldn't walk outside without crushing them on the sidewalks "Ew," is what I thought. Maybe they only smell if there's hundreds of them. Thousands? No, probably just hundreds. Not saying they wouldn't smell more if there were lots, I'm saying they probably start being noticeable at around a hundred. Nothing wrong with that. Not sure what the smell is, though. Do you? You should put them in a hole.