#they can squish me like the bug I am

[bulkheadbignaturals]

GOODRA ART POST GOODRA ART POST EVERYBODY REJOICE AND CHEER

The brainrot has spread so much i am now making my own Transformers AU

Here's my designs for the main Autobot cast! (for now...... Also i can't design cars for SHIT)

[ratsummer]

So my bestie was telling me the other day about Phantom wanting to practice kissing and I am running away with it!!

It doesn't take long after he's summoned for Phantom to want to kiss his pack mates. Unfortunately, he is a very anxious and not-yet-well-adjusted ghoul, so he agonizes over who to go to for a long, long time. They're all so beautiful, and everyone has been happy to help him, but the thought of kissing them... of being vulnerable in that way... He agonizes over everything that could go wrong for hours on end. After much sleeplessness and pacing around his room with a notebook (Cirrus taught him about decision trees) he finally decides Mountain is the safest bet.

First of all, he sees Mountain kissing literally everyone, all of the time, everywhere. Anyone can see he's good at it. Anyone can see he likes it! Also, both Swiss and Rain have independently confessed to Phantom that Mountain is the best kisser. Mountain has never laughed at him for not knowing how to do something, so he at least almost certainly won't be mean if he thinks it's weird that Phantom hasn't ever kissed anyone. Really, Phantom feels pretty safe that he can walk away from the situation unscathed, no matter which way things go.

So. It's gonna be Mountain. Phantom works up all the courage in his little heart and goes to Mountain's door. When Mountain greets him, he sees a skinny little ghoul (the littlest quint he's ever seen, that might never wear off) clutching his weighted bat stuffy close and barely able to stammer out a hello.

The one thing that Phantom had unfortunately left out of consideration was Mountain's height. Even glamored, the guy towers over him. He's also generally quiet, so he really just has a very consistenly... looming quality to him. Which is fine! So fine! But Phantom is already embarrassed and nervous and this big beautiful ghoul is just looking down at him with his big pretty soft gentle eyes and his sweet lovely smile and it's all so disarming and Phantom is just shrinking in on himself more and more and he can't even say hello to Mountain and he's such an idiot and he shouldn't have come and-

"Hey, snuggle bug, come here. Come back to me."

And, oh. Mountain is kneeling in front of him. He's shorter than Phantom now, but only just barely, and... wow, okay, Phantom can breathe again. And Mountain is just holding his hips and gently squeezing, and his big heavy tail is gently thumping on the ground, and he's still smiling that beautiful soft smile.

It's such a relief to have Mountain holding him that Phantom doesn't realize he's crying until Mountain reaches up to softly wipe his cheeks. And then Phantom is giggling, and his face is so hot, and then he starts crying for real, and he feels so stupid but also so safe. And he apologizes to Mountain over and over, sorry, he doesn't know why he's crying.

And around his gasps and half-stuttered apologies, he finally manages to confess. "I don't even know why I'm crying. I just wanted to kiss with you."

And Mountain is grinning so big and pulling him close, and even though he's on his knees he's somehow still making Phantom feel safe and small. And Mountain nuzzles up under his jaw, and presses a sweet, tiny kiss there. He cups Phantom's cheeks, and tilts his head down so he can press a lingering kiss between his horns.

"I would love to kiss with you, snuggle bug. Should we get in my nest?"

And Phantom can only whine and nod, knuckles white as he clings desperately to Mountain's shirt. He refuses to let go, even as Mountain stands and towers over him once more, stretching Phantom's arms out over his head. Mountain just laughs softly, not mean at all, and grabs Phantom's thighs to pick him up and wrap them around his waist.

Phantom squishes himself as close to Mountain as he can, snuggled up against his chest like a baby bat. He tucks his face into Mountain's neck to breathe in his warm, familiar smell, and wraps his tail tight around Mountain's hips. Mountain is rubbing his back, a deep, rumbling purr rolling through his chest as he closes the bedroom door and turns to his nest.

"Alright, snuggle bug. You're alright. Mounty's got you."

And maybe Phantom's entire body is finally relaxing from being so tense for hours, stressing over whether he should or shouldn't approach Mountain. Maybe his eyes are heavy from crying. Maybe he's finally warm and calm and maybe a big, cozy ghoul is kissing his hair and wrapping a big, cozy blanket around him.

Maybe he can get kisses tomorrow.

[homelanderbutbig]

In relation to the caterpillar ask...

I would be the total opposite. The absolute worst influence. Just every time I see a bug I'd be begging him to squish it. Bribing him and stroking his ego.

"Baby pleeeease? I need my hero to save me 🥺"

"I'll make milkshakes if you get that fly for me~"

"I'll love you 10million times more if you laser that spider out of existence 😚"

Y'know, just being like, it's okay to not be gentle when it comes to my worst nightmares. I'd be so happy with him for getting a spider or smth for me and be promising that he did good and how proud I am of him for saving me.

Excuse me for this brain spill ask lol but I would definitely use his powers a little bit to my advantage 😭

Love you HBB 🧡

Lmao, you know what the problem with that is?? He'd start killing "imaginary" bugs just so you can keep praising him! 😂

It'd start out innocent sure, getting to protect you and show off his powers for promises of affection. But once he realizes he'll keep getting rewarded for smooshing bugs, that man would milk it for all it's worth. Seeking them out everywhere you two are. Then he'd begin fabricating the insect sightings so he can keep getting the increased amount of attention you know he'd refuse to let lessen. Not now that's he's accustomed to it. >w>

You'd both be sitting on the couch in his penthouse, a quiet afternoon. Then suddenly he'd laser a teensy spot on the floor, grinning at you. "I just killed a spider for you babe".

"Really?" you say. "I didn't see anything."

"Psssh, who's the one with super vision here? It was coming right for us," he says, unable to hide that smart-ass smirk of his. "It was pretty big too."

"And I believe you owe me a kiss," he'd finally say, leaning over expectantly.

Now you have to come to terms with the fact you've created a needy monster, haha. Good luck convincing him to back down a little. He'd be sending you these texts when you stop calling him "good boy" for stomping on a bug. 🤣

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Would Hit With My Car

(I don't have a licence and can't drive so this is just for fun OBVIOUSLY)

LISTEN, I love these characters. They are complex, they are human, they are flawed and yet you can't help but root for them. Or they are just giant assholes.

Regadless, I think they would all benefit from getting hit by a car as a little treat.

Feel free to tag yourselves and participate in a bit of lighthearted negativity and media complaining.

1) Ben From Never Let Me Go (2022)

Of course he would be on this list. Mainly because how are you, a closeted gay in a coming of age bl drama, sitting down in front of a piano next to a beautiful boy and not just completely eat his face in a passionate life altering kiss? I understand that was the whole point of the scene, but personally I would rise above the narrative that was trapping me.

2) Dan from Not Me (2021)

Being a cop, killing Sean's father and selling NFTs is bad enough on it's own, I agree. But Dan's biggest sin was taking the cigarette out of Yok's mouth and depriving us of seeing sad First Kanaphan smoking near a body of water-THE queer cinema experience.

As it turns out, you can be gay and homophobic at the same time.

3) Kenji from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

So you have funky hair and kawnty fashion sense? Oh, you partake in fun bathtub threesomes? What, you're a little unhinged and psychotic? Perfect! THEN WHY THE HELL YOU SUCK AT BEING A VILLAIN SO HARD HUH???

Kenji you better put your helmet on, I'm turning on the engine.

4) Kanghan from Dangerous Romance (2023)

Rich people don't deserve rights in general so Kang was already on thin ice to begin with. But being a bully on top of that? UNDER THE HOOD OF THE CAR YOU GO!

Also he is so attention starved on account of his father being a negligent asshole that he will jump in front of my car willingly just to get a drop of love from dad and Sailom.

5) Yu Xi Gu from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

(I'm so so incredibly sorry but I HAD to okay you don't underst- *gets shot immediately*)

6) Mork from Fish Upon The Sky (2021)

I looked at Pond for 0.1 second and fell so embarrasingly in love that for the entirety of FUTS I saw no flaws in Mork's character at all. All he did made sense and I was blissfuly having a great time! So I'm pummeling him to the ground for my own sake I CAN'T KEEP BEING THIS STUPID ABOUT HIM HE IS OBJECTIVELY CREEPY!

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

Was he in my "I want them carnally" list? Yes. Do I find him beautiful and incredible? Double yes. Am I smearing him on asphalt like a squished bug for causing Mark so much unnecessary pain and heartbreak? More likely than you think.

8) Jiwoo from To My Star/ To My Star 2 (2021-22)

MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!! A crumb of healthy communication is all I'm asking for!

Jiwoo was so emotionally bricked up for the majority of both seasons that it caused ME damage. So me hitting him with my car is both a revenge plot and an attempt to let loose some of those pent up feelings of his.

(But also I'm dead meat if Seojoon finds out it was me behind the wheel. He loves that boy too much.)

9) Zee from Twins (2023-24)

I'm volunteering to do this as public service to keep Sprite and First together without any twins switch drama. One gremlin down, one successful volleyball couple UP!!

10) Winner from Pit Babe (2023-24)

I want to do it as an experiment. I feel like he would make a funny sound under the wheels, like when you sqeeze clown's nose or step on a rubber duck. I would also like to see how this will affect his character. Will he become even more annoying? Will it fix him completely? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!!

(This was so fun I love inflicting imaginary violence on fictional men. If you read this far into this incoherent insanity, consider yourself tagged!💖)

[oarfishing]

hi, Very Passionate Bug Lover here. if your method of killing insects involves going out of your way to cause them pain, a long death, or suffering, yes you are TA. mosquito bit your leg? Smack it, that's fine. It's a) directly harming you, b) its death is quick, and c) you are not targeting its entire species just because you think they're ugly/have no purpose/annoying. Spider is living in the corner of your room so you decide to drown it in shampoo? that is a) cruel, b) the spider never hurt you, and c) go to hell forever.

Every time one of those "aita for killing insects in this very particular way" posts pops out of queue, I get ever-increasingly esoteric submissions about bug extermination. Eager to see where we end up

[cuttergauthier]

Hockey x Football

I hope you love it❤️

(These photos do not belong to me, this is all fanfiction)

Jack Hughes x Female Kelce Reader

Jackhughes

Liked by Ynkelce, Trevorzegras and more

Jackhughes my girl🤍

Tagged ynkelce

View all comments

Ynkelce I love you🤍

→Jackhughes love you more🤍

Elblue06 you guys are the cutest 🥹🤍

→ ynkelce miss you mama hughes🤍

→ Jackhughes Love you mom🤍

Trevorzegras since when do you have a girl?!?!?

→ Jackhughes dude I told you like 6 months ago?

→Trevorzegras I thought it was just a dream🤷🏻‍♂️

→ Colecaufield idiot!!!

→Jackhughes 🤦🏻

Quinnhughes you guys make me feel so single🙄

→Jackhughes then find yourself a girlfriend!

→Ynkelce Jack don’t be rude!!

Alexturcotte she looks familiar 🤔

→ ynkelce 🫣

Jasonkelce You better treat her right!!!!!

→ Jackhughes always!!!

→ Alexturcotte wait a damn minute….

NicoHischier The team likes her more than you!!!

→ dougiehamilton I agree!!!!

Dawsonmercer 🥹🥹

Joshnorris You better not fuck up, i’m pretty sure her brothers could squish you like a bug!!!

→traviskelce You got that right!!!

→Jackhughes 🫣

Ynkelce

Liked by Jackhughes, Traviskelce and more

Ynkelce Apparently I’m more of a hockey fan than a football fan!🤷🏼‍♀️🤩🏒❤️

Tagged Jackhughes, Njdevils

View all comments

Jackhughes I’m glad!!😉🤍🤍

traviskelce he’s lucky jason and i actually like him!

→ ynkelce hehe🤭

Donnakelce you two are so cute!!!❤️

→ynkelce Love you mom❤️

→Jackhughes Thanks mama kelce!!!

Trevorzegras I don’t like you, you went and stole my man😭

→ynkelce what can i say, he loves me more!!

→Jackhughes trev why am i friends with you?🤦🏻

→Trevorzegras BECAUSE I’M AMAZING!!!

→Ynkelce are you sure?

→Trevorzegras I’m not talking to you!

→Quinnhughes Trevor stop acting like a baby!!!!!

Patrickmahomes I feel betrayed 😐

→ynkelce Sorry pat!!!!!

→ Colecaufield oh. My. God.

Kyliekelce The prettiest girl ever🤍

→ ynkelce I love you!!! I’m coming to visit you & the kids soon!!!🤍🤍

→ Kyliekelce Can’t wait!!

NicoHischier The better sport!!!!

Dawsonmercer DID YOU SEE MY GOAL?!?!?

→ Ynkelce YES, IT WAS AMAZING!!!

→Dawsonmercer THANK YOU!!

→Jackhughes WHY ARE WE YELLING ?

AlexTurcotte Jack forgot to mention the part where you’re related to Travis and Jason Kelce!

→Jackhughes oups!

Colecaufield YAYY!!

Kansascheifs we are offended!

→Ynkelce Sorry admin😐

Trevorzegras Wait… are the rumour true about taylor swift??

→ynkelce I thought you hated me?

→Trevorzegras Will you tell me if i say it was a joke?

→ Jackhughes Trevor leave my girlfriend alone!

→ Ynkelce Listen to jack!!!!

Ynkelce

Liked by Traviskelce, Jackhughes and more

ynkelce Ignore what i said last time football is back to being my favourite🏈🤍

Tagged Jackhughes, donnakelce, Taylorswift, blakelively, ryanrenolds, ellenhughes

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Jackhughes Can’t argue with that!!

Quinnhughes bring me next time!!!!

→ Ynkelce Definitely!!!!

Alexturcotte Trevor is gonna be jealoussss,

Colecaufield Omg yn I love you for this!!!!!

→ ynkelce 😂😭

→ Jackhughes 🤦🏻

NicoHischier Where was my invite?

→ dawsonmercer or mine?

→ Ynkelce Jack i told you we forgot something 🤦🏼‍♀️

→ Jackhughes my bad boys!

Tysmith Never thought i’d be jealous of jack…

→ Jackhughes it’s because of taylor isn’t it?

→ Tysmith yes!

Jamiedrysdale Oh Trevor is going to love you now😂

→ ynkelce He’s not going to leave me alone now is he?

→ Jamiedrysdale Nope!

Ryanrenolds hockey game next?

→ Blakelively Yes!!!

Blakelively So nice meeting you, we have to hangout again soon!!!!

→ ynkelce Definitely!!!!

Traviskelce The best part was seeing me right?

→ ynkelce sure let’s go with that!

→ Jasonkelce 😂

Trevorzegras YOU HUNG OUT WITH TAYLOR SWIFT?!?!?!?!

Trevorzegras I DON’T HATE YOU ANYMORE

Trevorzegras INVITE ME PLEASE, I WANT TO MEET HER!!

→ ynkelce Maybe… maybe not

→ Trevorzegras PLEASE I’LL NEVER BE MEAN TO YOU AGAIN🙏

→ Ynkelce I’ll invite you next time, NOW STOP TEXTING ME!!

→ Trevorzegras THANK YOU THANK YOU

→ Jackhughes Oh my🤦🏻

Elblue06 the most fun football game ever🤍

→ ynkelce So happy you could make it!!🤍

Taylorswift I love you🤍

→ ynkelce I love youu🤍

→ Trevorzegras OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS REAL!

→ Taylorswift Hi trevor!

→ Trevorzegras sjduywbsudjsj

→ Troyterry so this is why Trevor fainted?!?

→ Jamiedrysdale i think trevor had a heart attack…

→ Ynkelce oups… did you take a video?🫣→ Jamiedrysdale sending it to you now!

[th3fam1lyd1ssap01ntm3nt]

RAAAAAHHHHHHH hello :3!!!

I am

Wondering if you would be ever so kind,,,

To write the monster au(or the hybrid au) of TF141 and I was like oh,,, Gaz no on list,,, who else,,, Johnny. Request thee Johnny, you could add the others for funsies as well, I don't mind the werewolf Johnny I like hims a lot as ,, but like, imagine, Male!user(I don't know what we call him erm male whatever the fuck his name is idk the WHORE sorry he's not maybe? Maybe he is actually idk it's male reader around those sluts 😠😠/HJ....) who usually kept his hybrid features hidden for god knows what reason because it's him??? He's just?? He's a little silly, but like "omg a human on the team grrr!!!" Is reaction from almost everyone until they warm up to him later and then he's just revealed as a moth hybrid :3 moth man, he squeaks when angry because moths can squeak and that's very interesting to me :3 and he just itty bitty plush like and plush size and shorter than them, but yeah they angry thinking he human, get close to the "human", they wake up early one morning, see the man they thought was human, but is a moth hybrid, standing in the kitchen, deadass staring into the kitchens light for god knows how long he was standing there, antennas just out as he's focused on the light, not even noticing them standing beside him, he's just staring at the light until someone turns that shit off and then he's just back like " ! " "When did you wake up???" Like .

PLLEAAAASEEEEEE PLEAAASEEEEEEEEE PPPLLLLEEAAAASEEEEEEEE I BEG FOR HIM TO HAVE SOME CHUB TO HIM I BEG FOR MOTH MALE READER WHO USES HE HIM PRONOUNS FOR THE HYBRID/MONSTER AU TF141 LEMSJWJSJS I want chubby male ones to be loved☹️

Have a wonderful day yahhhh‼️‼️‼️

RRAAAAHHH MY FIRST ASK!!!! (Omfg tysm u don’t know how happy this makes me :3 )

Lemme get this straight.. a moth hybrid! male reader x Werewolf! Johnny (Soap) Mactavish?? Ill see what i can do!!

(Inspired by the Monster AU by whisperrwarm on X, when I say INSPIRED I mean, not everything is the same!)

Characters:

John (Soap) Mactavish: A Werewolf

Simon (Ghost) Riley: A Wendigo

Captain John Price: A Dragon

Male Y/N: A Moth

Just a cute wee pudgy lad :3

Tw: Swearing, suggestive content, Male x Male

Since Anonymous wanted M! Y/N to be pudgy, I imagine that he would have the shape of something like this:

Moth Dust

(A Johnny (Soap) Mactavish x Male! Reader fic)

You, LN, FN, (last name, first name), who would have thought out of all possibilities of hybrids, you would be a moth. Not that its a bad thing, it was just rather annoying though.. you were picked on constantly because of it, your hight, your looks, and what made you insecure the most, your weight.

Not that you were huge, but you were fun sized, the perfect love handles, and the loveliest thing of all, your thick thighs. Aye, its like they say, ‘Thick Thighs Save Lives!’ You tend to hide your moth features though, fearing that a hybrid with predatoristic features might harm you.

I mean.. c’mon, you were a moth and there were damned stronger mutants out there.. its like the food chain with normal animals, and as embarrassing as it was, many things ate bugs. And what are you a hybrid of? A bug. Well.. a domesticated silk moth to be more specific, but still!

Being a moth you were fluffy and small, and well.. adorable. But you never though of yourself as that short.. until you joined the military that is-

“Bloody fucking christ! How fucking big does a man need to be here?!?” You thought to yourself once you actually saw how large the men in Task Force 141 where. There was one in particular who stood intimidated you from his height, Simon Riley, better known here as Ghost, and he stood a strong 6’2”!!

He could easily fucking squish you like the bug you are if he wanted! You were intimidated by the other men slightly, I mean, c’mon! Your captain is a fuckin Dragon for Christ sake!

But wow… boy were they lookers though- there was one in particular who stood out to you the most, he looked like a dog hybrid, but that didn’t seem right for some reason? What stood out to you the most was those elegant.. enticing.. wonderful blue eyes… wait. What the hell? Were you staring? Oh shit, didn’t anyone see you staring at him?

Your mind was racing at the thought of being caught staring. “Did anyone see that? Shit- did he see that?!” You thought to yourself, more like mentally screamed at yourself, but still..

(Not finished, currently busy, will finish soon!)

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

hi love bug! i have angel devil thoughts for u:

angel!stevie teasing reader with his tentacles while she’s trying to do yoga or something and R getting so frustrated bc like >:( STOOOOP :(((( and eddie cumming coming up behind reader and hugging her (but he’s just groping her tits and squeezing her tight) and being like “he’s bein so mean to ya huh baby” with his little fake sympathy pout and you’re whining and nodding as steve’s tendrils trace and tease your puffy folds and eddies begin tracing over your tits as he holds your hips in place so he can grind his fat cock into your perfect ass in those work out shorts feel free to let them have their way with me

reader as she whines about how good it feels

A/N: as a yogi (or technically former, my body sadly can’t flow like it used to with all of its chronic pain and bad joints) i approve of this sluttiness 

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist | devil & angel AU masterlist 

“Stop it,” you grumbled, upside down you reached a hand back to swat away the familiar tentacle, grabbing the chance now that your field of vision was limited to slider all over your most delicate parts, visible in your tight workout clothes, “hey, I mean it! Whichever one of you is doing that, cut it out!” you tried not to let them get to you as you slowly walked your hands up towards your toes, resting there a moment, bent completely like a newspaper, before unfurling your form, “I am trying to concentrate here, relax a bit…” your arms scooped through the air beside you and met above your head. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, why wouldn’t you be able to focus on the flow, on your breathing, baby?” your eyes fluttered shut in annoyance at the sound of Steve’s smug tone, “you just looked like you were about to tip over, so-”

“I was not about to tip over.”

“You sure about that? Because you looked awfully wobbly, even right now,” the translucent lengths continued to slider over your thin outfit as you attempted to block them out. 

“You’re right, she does,” you heard the devil chime in playfully, and the next thing you knew you felt his warmth press into you from behind, making it obvious just how much he enjoyed watching your routine, “oh, I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he breathed into your hair, gliding his broad palms across your hips and drawing them further back towards him. 

Giving up, your hands fell unceremoniously down at your sides, “I am literally just standing here.”

“Yeah, like a flower,” Eddie purred, pressing his nose further into your hair, his hands brashly sliding up to envelop your boobs, already squished and constricted in your sports bra.

“A flower in the breeze,” Steve added, supporting his asinine alibi. 

“I am not in the breeze, I am nowhere near the breeze. I have excellent balance and you know it.”

“Yeah, you do,” you didn’t have to glance over your shoulder to catch the suggestive smirk on the angel’s lips. 

“You know,” Eddie’s low rumble seeped into you like butter on warm toast, “I know something that could help you relax… work up a sweat too.”

“Why do you guys ruin everything,” you grumbled half-heartedly, melting back against his interrupting form as his hands boldly played with your tits, accompanying the sensation of Steve’s tendrils now slither in between your thighs, “I just wanted to do something yoga…”

“Wanted?” he picked up on your wording, “then what is it you want now?”

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble

[jame7t]

do you know what to do with all these molted cicada nymph shells

Sure, they're not dead, but they still give off the same vibe to me. You know? The empty casings of a spent thing? Dust gathering in the recesses where something used to be? Sure, they're not dead, but they still set off my Necroentomophobia. Fear of dead bugs! Did you know that? Did you know people could be scared of dead bugs? Whatever. It's not the same as being scared of a bug, sure. But I can be scared of a lot of bugs. Sure, little things, like the humble lady bug- not scary. Butterflies, scant as they are, are only off-putting to me. The beautiful moth? Well, I love it, but I don't want to hurt it. It's whimsical, fat body makes me nervous. I don't want to squish it by accident! Because then it would be a dead bug.

And that's worse. It's like, not precisely a direct fear of a dead bug. It won't leap at me in a defiant rage, or be waiting for me around the scary corner. It's more like a shortcut to existential dread. It's a combination of 'ew!' and 'I am going to die one day' and more importantly, if a bug is dead, something has killed it. And you never know if that something is still lurking around. Just kidding. Do you know what a cicada shell is made of? That's right. It's the happy chitin! I don't have an issue with chitin. We're not chitinous beasts, but we have the enzymes to break them down. Humans, that is. This isn't a science fiction piece. This is my blog. I've always thought chitin was interesting though- it's a natural armor made for little guys ostensibly. Little guys in the sense, that it is for bugs only. Well, crabs have chitin, and they can get pretty big- The spider crab can grow over 300 feet in diameter. Just kidding, it can't do that. It's pretty big though. At this point, you'd think: 'Okay- crab reference, and a direct link to the enzymes to break down chitin. Do we eat them? Should we eat the Cicada shells?' Well, I'm not going to. That sounds kind of scary to me. Would you? Would you eat the shell of a thing? I can't imagine it tastes good. I'm eating potato chips right now. They're yummy, and crunchy, and in many ways- the opposite of the humble cicada's false corpse. A lying bug. A lying, cheating, swarming thing. A bug we don't like. A bug we have to deal with. Don't we have to deal with everything? Would it be easier to show less mercy to the little things? It wouldn't, and it would be mean. And that's worse. Anyway, to answer your question, you turn them into mulch, apparently. Or bury them in a hole. Through my research, those were the only two real options we have. There's also 'add them to compost.' So that's three, you have three options. Do you want my opinion? No? Moving on then. There's also a fourth option- a telling one, at that. A sort of 'secret option' lots of people choose. 'Let them decompose on your lawn.' Right? Right, the easy one? Might as well call it 'do nothing.' Doing nothing is always a choice, sure, but when you give me the choice to 'do nothing' in a game, or choose your own adventure, it always seems like a lazy choice on the developer's part. And sure, from your real life perspective, it's probably the easiest. But from a game design perspective? You have to account for the player sitting and watching. What happens if I don't intervene? What happens if I let it continue? Well, in the case of the empty cicada, they stink apparently. I've never noticed it, and we have cicadas here- but I've been lucky enough to never be out in or see a swarm. A predecessor of mine once recalled a story in which the swarm was so bad, you couldn't walk outside without crushing them on the sidewalks "Ew," is what I thought. Maybe they only smell if there's hundreds of them. Thousands? No, probably just hundreds. Not saying they wouldn't smell more if there were lots, I'm saying they probably start being noticeable at around a hundred. Nothing wrong with that. Not sure what the smell is, though. Do you? You should put them in a hole.

[neko-naruto]

new setting (new ideals)

Summary: Wherein John Dory accidentally sneaks into the home universe of Sans after a very small margin of victory in the latest multiversal tourney; things escalate in unprecedented ways after the local scientist sizes him up to scale.

Warnings: swearing, drinking, god i am so sorry for this

Authors Note: @ohposhers @bulliestrolls someone needs to put you two in the fucking slammer for drawing sansdory, and then they need to put me in the slammer for writing sansdory. for the sake of enjoying this fic please picture JD as a lot more creature than in canon.

John Dory was small enough to fit inside of Sans' coat pocket.

Sans discovers this the hard way when the ex leader of brozone falls out of his pocket after his return to Snowdin.

"Ain't snow fucking way." Was what Sans managed as he stared at the unmoving body in the snow, far too small to be considered the average monster for the underground. The Troll would be eaten without a second thought, mistaken for the bugs Muffet doesn't provide protection for.

He plucks the tufted tail and holds up John Dory like he's a dead rat. Of course he snaps awake as soon as Sans is holding him at eye height, and with a screech he's flung aside as the skeleton lurches back.

Sans pauses to catch his breath, "Okay, so you're not dead. That's good."

"Where am I?!" Was John Dory's instant question as he shook the snow from his hair and brushed himself down.

"Pipe down pipsqueak, I won't let you get squished," Sans said as he took a seat on the snow. He held out a hand, "We should probably get you situated with Alphys, size you up a bit."

John reluctantly stepped onto a gloved hand and took a seat on the palm, it was cold and unpleasant. His tail thwipped loudly despite his size, "Anything else in mind to get me back home?" The words are agitated.

"Want me to leave you here?"

Silence.

"Thought so, I'll give you a hand in figuring it out, but you're playing by my rules bud."

"How were you the reigning champ for years on end?"

"The girlies liked me for my dry humor, MILF hunting attitude, and undetermined backstory- and my infinite fuckability of course."

"Must suck not having a dick."

Sans just gives a hum before giving John a gently toss, only a few inches but he still yelps and clings desperately to phalanges when he lands back in Sans' hand. It garners a chuckle from the skeleton, "Pal, I got extremities you couldn't even dream of, and no, that isn't an invitation to start listing 'em off."

John Dory shuts his mouth.

"Don't be shocked if Alphys tries to fill you up with needles and probes."

"With what-"

"She's a curious gal."

-/-/-/-

Thankfully the resizing process involves a lot less probing than Sans said it would, which John is eternally grateful for. He'd like to avoid having a cold piece of metal shoved up his ass if possible. The process just required a small blood sample and some weighing before he was resized with one little ray.

And then he was the exact same height as Sans, give or take a few inches.

"Proportionately, I can see why you won," Sans said, hands stuffed in his pockets and expression same as always. It's far too hard for John Dory to read, he can't tell if it's sarcastic or genuine.

"Thanks." He shrugs off the compliment because he doesn't know how to take it.

"Is it easier to see why I was the reigning champ?" Sans asked.

"You're the furthest thing from 'sexyman' out there," John Dory said before he could actually think about the words exiting his mouth.

Sans laughed, "Tell it to The Onceler, if you can convince him to take me off the bracket then I'll stop trying my best."

"You don't try at all."

"The girlies like me for that."

"What is it with you and the girlies?"

"What makes you think that the guys were voting for me?" Sans shot back, "Think you can walk and talk? I know a shortcut."

"Good point," John Dory said, "I can walk and talk."

"Cool." Sans holds out a hand.

"What?"

"Gotta hold my hand to take the shortcut."

John places his paw atop Sans hand and the grip the motion is received with is far too intense to be considered normal. But a shortcut is a shortcut, and he'll just have to take help to get around this universe until he can get home.

-/-/-/-

"Ketchup?"

"Yeah man, ketchup." Sans tossed a bottle to John Dory as he spoke, the Troll catching it with ease.

"You expect me to drink ketchup? I've had worse, but what about alcohol?" John asked.

"Bud," Sans began, "The bartender is a living flame, you really think he wants to be handling highly flammable stuff?"

"Fair point, but can you actually get drunk offa ketchup?" John asked, and he gave this slanted smirk as he spoke, partially leaning an elbow on the bar. He's gotten more comfortable after a week in Sans' hometown, he lives in the room under the sink in the skelebros household and made it his own until later notice.

Sans gives a hum, "Wanna find out?"

John grins before popping off the cap, "Try me."

-/-/-/-

"What do they put in this shit, Sans?" The words are spoken with a giggle and despite the ache in his head John Dory goes back for more.

"Tomatoes," Sans answered with, still slowly downing his first serving of ketchup.

"It's gotta be more than that, bonedaddy," John Dory purred, leaning a little bit more on the bar and resting his chin in his hands.

A distinct azure rises to Sans' face, "I think you've had too much ketchup."

"You meant it."

"What?"

"When we were in the lab, when you said I looked hot. You meant it, you like me," John deduced rather skillfully despite his inept state.

"And if I do?" Sans asked.

John pauses, "It'd be hot, Sans and John Dory double teaming the tourney."

"Alright, we should get home," Sans said, sliding off his bar stool and holding out a gloved hand.

John Dory took it and slid off his own stool, his tail wagged about lazily. His face is burning up and he looks oddly lovesick, a realization that Sans makes the choice to ignore until he can contemplate it late at night. Alone. In bed. By himself.

The Troll slinks an arm under Sans' shoulders, face resting atop the fluff of his hoodie and nuzzled into the collar of his turtleneck, he still clutches a hand tightly. He gives a contented hum, "Your jacket's soft."

"I know."

"You're soft."

"That's an odd thing to say considering I'm all bones."

"I'll show you bones."

"We really gotta get you home."

"And then?"

"And then you're going to sleep, no goodnight kiss."

-/-/-/-

Another week passes and Papyrus suddenly has to deal with the fact that Sans and John Dory are being overtly romantic.

"Your teeth are cold." John Dory would always say whenever he tried to kiss Sans.

"The girlies like it." Sans would always answer.

And sometimes John Dory would try again to get the usually snapped shut jaw open, or he'd say, "I guess I'm one of the girlies."

They'd laugh and after a small beat of silence continue on with their day.

Maybe it's selfish that Sans is keeping John Dory from a way back to his own universe, but he's pretty sure the Troll doesn't mind. He's stopped asking when he'll get to go back home at least, and Sans is benefiting from having someone around.

It makes the resets more tolerable if nothing else, and Sans just doesn't tell John about them. About the times he's watched everyone die and everyone live, he never speaks a word of it. And unless Frisk brings it up, he won't have to know of the amnesia or the violence.

And they can keep living their happily ever after.

[paracosmic-gt]

Am I Borrower Folcintera?

The title is rhetorical :)

Author: J/June of Wanderstars

Word count: 786

📎🧵🌱🧵📎

Folcintera is something that describes a folklore connection right? If so, I think Borrower folcintera is the way I should go. I look at the way borrower and brownie are interchanged and I wonder if all this goes deeper...

(read on below the cut)

I tried archetropy, but I think this label is the way it's heading. So I'm gonna talk about it.

First I talk about myself. I have my own understanding of who I am that mimics the story of Borrowers everywhere. Beyond my current stature, my life seems to follow a Borrower's existence.

I found myself coming to front in the middle of a breakdown, as we hid in a closet, and I felt safe. Behind walls, peeking in at a house we never felt fully safe in. I've always been on the outskirts and underfoot, even going so far as to imagine what would happen if I suddenly was the size I hoped. I'd run and hide. I often felt that I would be safer with a stranger, with a chosen giant, than my own family.

"Be good to them and they won't squish you."

I am a vulnerable creature, sensitive and shy, suffice it to say I adopted this role wholeheartedly. Fawning and caring for everyone so I wasn't hurt. Hiding in the shadows and the corners, borrowing the smallest favours so I wasn't noticed for taking too much. Constantly stifled in a place I was supposed to grow, until now I take up such little space.

I look human, but I'm not on the inside.

As a child we loved fairies, used to write notes to them wishing for wings to fly away. Now I return to the depiction of a typical fairy and I wonder about how I look to them. I've been grounded, living inside a house for so long, crazed and wild as a feral mouse. How they welcome me into lush forests and calm grasses. Tell me that it's okay, that I'm safe now. That I've survived, and I'm still alive.

And then, well, I met my giant. And he reminds me I'm not all typical borrower. He reminds me that, just like Arietty, I haven't developed a distrust for all giants. I don't have the "sense". Like Sho, we met in greenery and I learnt to trust him. Because he is the one who manages to make me feel safe, comfortable, and loved.

I am a tiny, my size is incredibly important to me. It is affirming and lovely and spreads like vines to make me a bug, a borrower, and maybe even a fairy too. It's born from suffering, but now it is my choice to return to a giant's house. Running underfoot becomes a game, a happy and delightful game, as I re-enact my trauma and reconnect to my own heritage. Because as much as the borrower lifestyle is pain, it is who I am. I can no longer pretend I am human, and I embrace the good, and the bad.

Now it comes to folklore, how others see me. Borrowers as a species seem to share a strong resemblance and connection to brownies or broonies, which are household spirits from Scottish folklore. However, there seems a split between the two kinds in general view. Brownies are associated with Fae, goblins, gnomes, etc. while Borrowers are typically viewed as "tiny people" without any specified powers. Joining the ranks of Lilliputians and tinies everywhere. The depictions of both range vastly online and in literature, from insectoid to rodentish, and magical to mundane.

For me, the line between what I am and what I see depicted of my kind is blurred.

To what extent am I mystical? I don't have magic, but when I get really excited I feel wings buzzing behind me as if I was Fae. Scientifically, I can't exist at my size, so there must be something else inside me. I also don't find it alarming that I am a Borrower who is therian identifying, a lot of my nonhuman-ness feels very in line with being a tiny creature forced to survive on the outskirts of society.

To what extent am I human? I have written stories myself, of a giant meeting a borrower and coming to realise they are the same levels of intelligence and sophistication. I sometimes look it, but inside I don't feel it. I've lived inside a human dwelling and adopted their customs but I'm not a human. And I think my fellow literary Borrowers would agree.

So I am left with a bit of a puzzle to fill, but pieces are coming into place slowly. All I know is that I'm a Borrower, whatever that even means, and folcintera as a term seems to acknowledge all the points I mentioned above.

Another thread untangled, in a complex yet simple appearing web. All starting with giantess comics on DeviantArt and a kid who wanted to fly.

[onenicebugperday]

I was reading your ask from the other day about how disheartening it can be when people hold such an odd hatred of bugs. I thought I might offer a anecdote from the other day. I was babysitting my niece and nephew, and my niece wanted to go outside to play, so I took us bug hunting. She isn't that opposed to bugs but she definitely doesn't adore them like I do. I've really been trying to educate them on bugs to eliminate any fear. While looking around for critters she got very into it, and was shockingly good at noticing the most tiny of bugs that I didn't even see. In our time she would get very excited every time we found something, especially spiders, and would enthusiastically tell me to pick them up. They still have a way to go but I think that I'll be able to show them that bugs are alright and don't need to be squished. Patience and education doesn't work on all people but there are always those willing to learn about bugs which I think is wonderful.

Patience and education doesn't work on all people, but it does work wonders on children. I feel like most kids go through a bug-are-cool phase until they're told repeatedly by adults in their lives how gross and scary they are. I wish people would realize they're instilling a lifetime of fear and anxiety about something that is 99% not harmful.

But anyway! I'm very glad you're helping your niece and nephew to see the beauty of bugs! I am doing the same thing with my nephew and I'm trying to get his mother on board too :P

[inthemiddle0feverywhere]

Crosshair girlies check in are we alive after this double feature because I about died

Major TBB spoilers Season 3 episodes 6&7 under the cut (and yes this is tagged)

What the fuckkkkkk there is nothing comforting about my comfort show omg I’ve been so stressed and I did a lot of screaming (note added after I watched first time)

Rexxxxxxx 🥰🥰

He runs like Tech!!! 🫵

Oh nvm it’s not him

Was hoping for some Chuchi and Echo interaction 💗

Omega with a toothpick!!! Ahhhh she always copied Hunter and now she’s copying her other dad!! I love how Omega just picked him to adopt her like yep you’re my dad now too deal with it

Hunter telling Howzer to stand down after being all accusatory to Crosshair omg they’re brothers again 😭

Still excited to see Howzer again tho. Best hair in the galaxy kinda rude Hemlock thinks he can also pull it off

Oh shit he died!

He’s alive!! 🎢🎢

Why does the clone operator look kinda adorable limping around like a sad lil bug who got a lil squished

Crosshair baby I love your confidence in your “I’ll handle this” but your aim sucks rn babe please

Wolffe!

Oh he’s still imperial 🙈

“You’re as bad as Hunter” “oh I’m much worse” *Nick Miller screams* fanfic writers I need you right now

I wish Tech was here to see it though, Crosshair with a kid 😭😭😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

“I’ll draw their fire” NOOOOOOO YOUR AIM SUCKS RN BABE PLEASE DONT

“I don’t know if I like that idea” me neither kid

“Too bad” you son oF A BIT-

Ohmygod

Ohmygod

OHMYGOD!!!!!!

AHHHHH 😨😨😨*faints*

Am I dead?

Crossy it seems hand to hand combat is your best bet rn till your hand gets fixed (get it looked at you stubborn man!!) better hit the gym with Wrecker and get some knife fighting skills from Hunter

Gregor! 🥰

Oh great now I’m stressed about Wolffe’s well being. Glad he still has integrity though

Where tf is Cody?

You think the clone operator surviving the waterfall from such a height was symbolic (🤔🤡) I will not rest till I get real confirmation on Tech’s body sorry not sorry

Crosshair fanfic writers I really need you rn some protective, angsty hurt / comfort reader insert somethingggg im a shit writer or id do it myself

[systembug]

Mantis preservation advice please?

I found a squished dead mantis today and I am incredibly hyped to preserve it, but I need some help.

Is it safe to put it in alcohol-soaked tissue container like with smaller bugs or do I need something stronger to disenfect/prevent mold/parasites? Is it hygienic to keep a dead mantis at all? It has a pretty big soft abdomen with organic stuff.

Are there any tips on how to best keep it? I think it might be getting discoloration on some parts, but it might also be due to the way it died.

Can someone id and sex it for me please? I would love to put a tag maybe<3

Said mantis under cut bc dead

[rippleclan]

RippleClan: Moon 48

Weedfoot and James discover that Scalekit is extremely sensitive to certain sounds and textures. He starts crying at the feeling of leather.

[Image ID: Weedfoot and James stand behind Scalekit, who is an older kit now. Under Scalekit, it says + NEW SKILL: AVID PLAY-FIGHTER, + PERMANENT CONDITION: SENSORY SENSITIVITIES. Fennelspot tells the group, “We’re a sensitive species. Some more than others.”]

(James: 124, male, elder, charismatic, den builder, formidable fighter)

(Weedfoot: 97, female, deputy, charismatic, steady paws, formidable fighter)

(Scalekit: 1, male, kit, lonesome, avid play-fighter)

(Fennelspot: 105, male, cleric, insecure, trusted advisor, incredible runner)

Rustshade tells himself he cannot let his feelings consume him, he must move on. Clammask’s grief begins to lessen. Weedfoot picks herself out of her nest and begins her day anew, a fresh conviction in her heart.

[Image ID: Rustshade, Clammask, and Weedfoot stand together. Under each of them, it says - CONDITION: GRIEVING.]

(Rustshade: 92, male, codekeeper, sneaky, learner of lore)

(Clammask: 42, female, caretaker, righteous, lore master, good teacher)

(Weedfoot: 97, female, deputy, charismatic, steady paws, formidable fighter)

Spikecrash and Darkkick have both healed, but remain scarred by their injuries.

[Image ID: Spikecrash has a small scar at the base of her tail, while Darkkick has scars wrapping his tail. Under Spikecrash, it says - CONDITION: BROKEN BACK. Under Darkkick, it says - CONDITION: MANGLED TAIL.]

(Spikecrash: 23, female, mediator, wise, good speaker, lore keeper)

(Darkkick: 108, male, warrior, lonesome, talented swimmer, understands nature)

The new cleric apprentice from AshClan, Terracottapaw, comes asking for horsetail. They refuse to say why AshClan needs them but RippleClan still provides them with horsetail.

[Image ID: Paleseed tells a ginger tabby apprentice with white markings “You can talk to me if you’d like.”]

---

“I can’t believe I have another mediator to work with!” Paleseed cheered as she walked alongside Spikecrash. “I thought it would be ages before I had someone else with my training to help.”

“You can’t really call it training,” Spikecrash reminded her, features squishing together in awkward humility. “It’s just lived experience.”

“I’m just glad I’m not alone in this,” Paleseed purred, rubbing against Spikecrash. “I was worried I would ruin everything without help.”

“I’m sure you would have been fine without me,” Spikecrash sighed.

The pair approached the AshClan border near the end of a long, hot day. Bugs swarmed around Paleseed’s face and made her nose itch. A bug bute swelled in Spikecrash’s ear. The mediators almost couldn’t breathe through the thick humidity, but still they pressed on, hoping the cool night would quell some of the bugs. When the border came into view, there were already a few mediators waiting for them. There was Shellstripe, whom had offered a lot of valuable training during Gatherings and meetings. Two of Paleseed’s good friends, Frogbelly and Eveningshade, waited as well. An unfamiliar ginger apprentice lingered behind them, carefully eyeing the approaching cats.

“Ready for your first mediator meeting?” Paleseed asked, taking a deep breath.

“I think you are more nervous than I am,” Spikecrash said before pressing on. She and Paleseed stopped just a tail-length from the border, batting away gnats that tried to crawl onto their eyes.

“Good evening, Paleseed!” Frogbelly chirped, fur fluffing up at the sight of his friend. When he and the other AshClan cats spotted Spikecrash, he said “Oh, a new friend! Newtstream mentioned a potential future mediator in RippleClan!”

“Everyone, this is Spikecrash,” Paleseed explained, gently nudging Spikecrash’s chin up. “A horse broke her back, so we brought her to camp. She decided to become a mediator while she healed!”

“Recovering from a broken back is impressive, Mediator Spikecrash,” Eveningshade purred, bowing slightly. “Your clerics are skilled. StarClan must have blessed your recovery.”

“I’ll have this scar for the rest of my life,” Spikecrash sighed, showing off the deep gouge a bit above her tail, “but I can walk. The scar still aches sometimes.”

“Better some aches than to be paralyzed,” Eveningshade said with a dismissive flick of her whiskers.

“We were going to talk about how we can improve relations between our Clans, what with one of our apprentices abandoning us for your ranks,” Shellstripe gulped, “but we should start by getting to know you better, Mediator Spikecrash. Perhaps soon enough, we’ll be able to drop the honorific. I am Shellstripe, and this is Eveningshade and Frogbelly.” The gray and lilac cats stood taller when their names were spoken.

“You haven’t introduced this one yet,” Paleseed said. She nodded to the ginger cat lingering behind the group. “You must be newly apprenticed. What’s your name?”

“I am Terracottapaw,” the apprentice gulped, carefully slinking between the mediators. “I am Newtstream’s apprentice.” They squeezed their eyes tight and said very quickly, as though under interrogation, “I may smell like a tom but I am not a tom and want you to think of me as something else with they and them!”

“No need to be nervous, Terracottapaw!” Paleseed said. She crouched a bit to reach the small apprentice’s level. “My sister Puddlewhisper used to be a tom too. If you ever need a friend to talk to, I’m sure she’d love to chat with you at the next Gathering. It’s not the same experience, but she could help!” Terracottapaw nodded stiffly, not meeting Paleseed’s heather eyes.

“I thought this meeting was just for mediators,” Spikecrash noted. “What is a cleric apprentice doing here?”

“I have an official request for RippleClan,” Terracottapaw mumbled. Paleseed almost couldn’t hear them.

“Why don’t you and I step to the side?” Paleseed suggested, nodding to a tree that straddled the border. “Spikecrash can get acquainted with the other mediators that way.” Spikecrash stiffened as Frogbelly suddenly bombarded her with questions. Terracottapaw slunk away. Paleseed followed on her side of the border until they stopped by the trunk of the bordering tree. She rubbed against the tree, rubbing away bugs swarming her face.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Terracottapaw,” Paleseed said as the young apprentice carefully sat, “but why is Newtstream not here with you? It’s a big task to send a new apprentice out without their mentor.”

“We need horsetail, if your Clan has any to spare,” Terracottapaw asked softly. 

“Wouldn’t it be better to ask SlugClan for horsetail?” Paleseed suggested. “Their territory is better suited to growing horsetail. They’d be more likely to have extra.”

“Do you not have some?” Terracottapaw stammered, eyes wide. “Please! Newtstream said it has to come from RippleClan for the ritual to work!”

“Ritual?” Paleseed said. “What do you mean?” Terracottapaw squeezed their muzzle shut tight. They glanced toward the mediators, who were utterly absorbed in conversation with Spikecrash. They shivered despite the heavy heat. “You can talk to me if you’d like. You look like you have a lot on your shoulders for someone so young.”

“I just need the horsetail,” Terracottapaw gulped, shaking their head.

“I can ask Fennelspot if he has any to spare,” Paleseed sighed. Before she could pry any further, Spikecrash and the AshClan mediators strolled over to her and Terracottapaw. The ginger apprentice slipped back behind Shellstripe as they looped Paleseed in on their conversation.

What was happening in AshClan?

(Paleseed: 14, female, mediator, insecure, fast runner, steady paws)

(Spikecrash: 23, female, mediator, wise, good speaker, lore keeper)

Halibutdusk realized tom doesn’t describe how they feel anymore.

[Image ID: Halibutdusk sits in the middle of the screen. Under them, it says LEVEL UP! MALE -> NON-BINARY (THEY/THEM).]

(Halibutdusk: 40, nonbinary (they/them), warrior, gloomy, masterful storyteller, clever)

Mosspaw plays with Lemmy along the border.

[Image ID: Mosspaw tells Lemmy “Maybe you’re too scared to spar with me.” Lemmy responds, “Excuse me?”]

---

Mosspaw had been on a hunting assessment when he saw Lemmy again. She was on RippleClan’s side of the river, sniffing at the current. Her whiskers twitched as the water sprayed her face with a soft mist. Her blue eyes scanned the territory but could not see Mosspaw’s dark pelt in the dappled shadows of the brush.

Downstar warned the Clan to keep an eye out for the attackers. Clammask warned Mosspaw to get backup if he saw any of the three cats again. Yet this tortoiseshell intrigued him. Were her friends waiting for a signal to attack? Was she looking for someone to kill? Hmm…

“If you’re looking to plan an ambush,” Mosspaw called, stalking out of the undergrowth, “you’ve picked a bad spot to wait.” Lenny’s eyes tightened. Her claws slipped out. Her tail thrashed about as she readied herself for the approaching attacker.

“You don’t have to be here,” Lemmy growled. “I’m not looking for a fight.”

“And yet you and your friends tried to kill me,” Mosspaw scoffed, taking a cocky step forward. “Can you explain why?” Lemmy fluffed herself up, trying to appear bigger than she was.

“You’re young,” she said. “You can leave this Clan and respect your ancestors rather than insult their rest with rituals and shrines.”

“I think you have an odd perspective on the Clans,” Mosspaw laughed. “But if you’re not going to kill me, might as well let you know my name. I’m Mosspaw. I overheard your friends call you Lemmy.”

“Go,” Lemmy hissed. “My fight’s not with you.” She turned back to the river. 

“Maybe you’re too scared to spar with me,” Mosspaw chuckled. He risked a few steps closer.

“Excuse me?” Lemmy faced Mosspaw again, lips curled. 

“You’re here to learn more about the Clans, aren’t you?” Mosspaw laughed, wiggling his flank. “Why not see how a Clan cat fights? A friendly spar between would-be killer and would-be victim.”

“You are an imbecile,” Lemmy snapped with a violent slash of her tail.

“You could say I have my father’s charm,” Mosspaw purred. “I’m just a tom who sees a pretty molly and wants to get to know her.”

“You want to spar?” Lemmy huffed. She crouched, claws sliding out and eyes sharp. “Fine then. Let’s spar.”

“This will be fun!” Mosspaw laughed as Lemmy pounced.

(Mosspaw: 9, male, caretaker apprentice, shameless, stares at fire)

(Lemmy: 24, female, rogue(?), cold, deep StarClan bond)

Mousesong scents AshClan on the territory, despite the good relations between Clans.

[Image ID: Mousesong looks up at a big tree, calling “Terracottapaw? Is that you?” Behind her, a massive dog pounces.]

---

As a codekeeper, it was Mousesong’s responsibility to enforce the code on her Clan, and that meant following up on the occasional rumor. She’d overheard an odd rumor one sleepless night in the warrior’s den that Elmsprout’s reason for joining RippleClan could have been to smuggle oceanic resources to her home under the guise of sanctuary. Now, Mousesong did not believe the rumor. Eelstar looked frustrated enough at Gatherings to make her think Elmsprout’s asylum was legitimate (although he had been oddly absent from the last Gathering, replaced instead by his deputy Barkfur). Still, it was worth setting up a stakeout by the AshClan border in the wee glimmers of the morning, bugs dancing around her ears and nipping at her scalp.

Mousesong didn’t have many places to hide with her bright white fur. She wasn’t much of a climber, which meant she couldn’t really hide in the trees. Would she have to smear her pelt with mud and crawl under a bush? Maybe there would be a thick enough shrub or something with white flowers to keep her camouflaged…

A strong fear scent slammed into Mousesong’s nose, making her stumble. StarClan was it thick! And fresh too, only minutes old. It certainly wasn’t RippleClan scent. No, the smell was AshClan through and through. What was an AshClan cat doing in RippleClan? Mousesong thought they were trying to stay friendly, despite the issue with Elmsprout. Why did they smell so terrified?

The odd scent was far more important than a rumor Mousesong already didn’t believe in. Her eyes traced an unseen trail further into RippleClan territory. Ears sharp and alert for sounds of an ambush, Mousesong followed the trail. She didn’t have to go far, however. Her tense ears picked up a hard sobbing sound from somewhere overhead. 

Mousesong scanned the trees, searching for odd colors amidst the low-lit green leaves. The fear scent slipped up a thick, round beech tree. A bright ginger pelt clung to a branch far overhead, shaking so violently that leaves tumbled off the twigs. Mousesong recognized the apprentice from the last Gathering a few days ago.

“Terracottapaw?” Mousesong called. “Is that you?” Terracottapaw gasped, silver eyes locking onto Mousesong like she was a bear.

“It’s after me,” Terracottapaw whined. “Autumnstar sent it after me!” They buried their face against the thick branch.

“What’s happening?” Mousesong huffed, looking about for a threat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Terracottapaw cried, refusing to lift their head. “Run, please!”

“I’m taking you back to AshClan,” Mousesong said. “I’ll keep you safe.” Her words began to falter as the sound of heavy paws grew closer. She could hear the thick panting well before she turned around. Claws at the ready, she arched her back and hissed at the approaching beast.

It was just like her sister described it from her own encounter as an apprentice; a massive dog, bigger than any dog she’d ever seen before. Tall, pointed ears, sharp as claws. Wild eyes. Hungry jaws.

Terracottapaw was gone by the time a patrol found Mousesong’s body.

(Mousesong: 25, female, codekeeper, loyal, keen eye)

[freakattack]

Since you did that LGBT+ headcanon post for the Mario cast, could you do one for the WarioWare crew?

LOL thank you for taking interest in my gay luigi posts. I actually did make one of these before but that was two years ago and also mostly jokes so I think this is as good a time as any to do it again but in serious mode. I have also changed my mind on some of these so they might not all line up with the other post but such is life. Obligatory "That's My Opinion" so if my tabloid speculations don't line up with yours feel free to imagine me falling down a very deep hole, or you can close one eye and pretend you're squishing my icon between your fingers like a bug if that's more your speed

WARIO: Briefly said this in the mario post but sure I'll go into more detail about wario's sex life, I think he's aromantic and bisexual. I do realize it comes off as kind of shitty to make Mario be Romantic Asexual and "Evil Mario" be Aromantic Sexual, but as a Wario Megafan I just think that he values his friendships a lot more, and given what we have seen of wario's disgust for romance despite his very active libido* (I promise that link is not as bad as it looks), I think it would be remiss to pretend that he would ever want to settle down with someone. He still loves people in a platonic way - even beyond the warioware cast, he cared a lot about princess shokora by the end of WL4, and even though he does not necessarily LIKE waluigi (and I do subscribe to poppadopolos theory so I am of the belief that they were fuckin' and truckin' for a good portion of the early 2000's), I think wario still cares about him in his wario way. They are like a divorced couple that still has kids except instead of kids it's cheating at tennis. Also, I think that wario is transgender, because it explains a lot about him (e.g. his lack of nipples) and because that way nobody has to think about what his "real name" was before it was wario. It was his deadname! Everybody go home! Have a rotten day!

*I do not think that wario would canonically catcall random news reporters but I'm still counting this as nebulous evidence that wario can be horny

MONA: I think that she is bisexual but doesn't know it at this point in time and also isn't really stressing about it. Her taste is kind of skewed towards whatever wario is (in a puppy love type of way i do NOT ship them), but if she ended up having a close friendship with a girl her age I could see her catching feelings. I don't wanna say that her thing with wario is comphet because that's not entirely true but I do think that his unattainability is a comfortable way for her to not have to think about actually getting into a relationship. (For the record, I don't think she even wants to BE in a relationship with him, I think she is perfectly happy with the way things are, but mona has TMI'd about her opinion on wario's physique often enough that I kind of get the idea.)

JIMMY T: My opinions on him have not changed. Who do you think gave him the T? Also, I didn't mention this before, but I do think he is bisexual, and although it kind of feels like a cop-out to make the Holy Trinity of Warioware all bisexual, sometimes that's just how the cookie crumbles. Groovy!

DRIBBLE: This is where things start to diverge from the original post. I said he was bisexual before But I lied I think he just likes men. I think that he has a supportive family, but he's still a little shy about actually going out to meet people and start a relationship. Anyways you're probably not gonna like what I have to say next

SPITZ: I am soooooo sorry. But I think that he is straight. More power to you guys but I never really got into dribblenspitz as a Ship because I associate their dynamic so strongly with the Cool Boss + Rookie dynamic that we have all been at least one half of that I can't imagine them in a romantic relationship. They have the most beautiful bromance of course, they would go to the ends of the earth for each other, but they wouldn't smooch. I think that spitz's dating life is/has been kind of sad (not in a angst way in a regular way) and were he to go back into the dating scene dribble would hype him up about it and give him advice and spitz would be like hey why don't you have a girlfriend? You're clearly better at this than me and dribble would say uuuhhhhh

ORBULON: Orbulon is hard to pigeonhole into these labels because the guys on orbulon's home planet operate on an entirely different paradigm from humans on earth. Reproduction via budding, communal childrearing, telepathic mega-cliques*.....on Earth, orbulon certainly has no interest in romance or beyond (both because he has no need for it and because he is two thousand years old on the planet of the apes), but he does have fun being a girl. You could call him "genderfluid", but he also doesn't feel too much of a connection to any earth genders in general; he just likes wearing different hats.

*THAT'S MY OPINION

CRYGOR: I think that he has had no interest in romance for a hundred years, but also if he randomly picked up a stepdad for his adult children one day I would not be mad. (Mike might be, but he would eventually come around due to the Power of Love and whatnot.) Penny is his "granddaughter" but I think that this is more a label for convenience's sake and because she IS his granddaughter at heart. "But why does she randomly show up into everyone's lives in smooth moves as a full grown kid" Until warioware decides to show me her parents themselves I'm not entertaining this plot hole

PENNY: The reason I don't think penny is his granddaughter is because I still think she is a transgender clone of dr crygor. I think that crygor is enthusiastically supportive of her, gets her all the pink glittery shit her heart could desire, and helped her transition with his Science Inventions. I also think she is a lesbian, although I don't Ship her with anyone in the main cast (sorry again).

MIKE: Earlier I said that mike was "gay but he thinks everyone is annoying". That was before they revealed this bombshell:

Now, this could mean absolutely nothing. Checking the translation of the japanese website yields pretty much the same sentence. However, due to an incident involving a botched translation before the english version of this website came out, I had it in my head for a while that the connotation here was of a certain kind of fascination. And honestly, who could blame him? This is a karaoke machine that got frosty the snowman'd into existence. Of course he would be conflicted about who he is supposed to love. Does he have the heart of a man, or machine? Even Mike does not have an answer. So, my revised LGBT+ headcanon for Mike Crygor is "gay, and whatever this is".

5-VOLT: I'm on the fence about whether i Actually Think This but I am very fond of when people headcanon her as a trans woman, so I'm giving that a shout out. Shout Out! Other than that, I think she's only ever dated men and is happy that way.

.......Unless