#they can do it they're capable they're smart. but the hustle and the stress and the fighting and the working never ends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

natjennie · 7 months ago

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what's weird about the fantasy high drama is that like. it seems to me like people forget d&d is primarily a) a game you play with your friends and also b) luck based.

I mean it's fine to say that "nothing felt like a challenge" and "they just dominated everything and there weren't any stakes" but like. it's not as if they weren't up against huge threats. they lost the mall fight. the last stand was an onslaught of enemies. they fought a dozen dragons from an airship. the fights were hard. they're just really good. they've had very good dice luck in general this season and are all very high level and highly specialized. fig is gonna beat deception and performance checks. adaine's gonna figure out the arcana. riz is gonna succeed investigations. like. for some reason their strategical competence and wisely picked abilities are. a downside? a disappointment?

the thing about d&d that you need to remember is it's first and foremost a game. it's mostly random and it takes you down weird paths and you're playing to have fun with your friends. the dice are literally telling the story that it's their time, it's their year. they've struggled enough. they've trained enough. they're good at what they do. and in my post about the academic/domestic/personal stressors being the focus, d&d doesn't have any other system to work them out than rolling different skills. that's what d&d is. brennan set specific challenge levels for different tasks and the players strategized to prioritize which abilities they were strongest in. the challenges were there. and the players rose to them. they were both smart in their delegation of responsibilities and lucky with their dice rolls. of which, both are foundations of d&d.

don't mistake them being good players and getting lucky with there being no hardship. just because they smashed through the wall, that doesn't mean the wall wasn't strong. they were just stronger.

#i know some people are disappointed from a storytelling perspective. but you have to understand.#what was brennan supposed to do. he threw things at them both at and above their challenge level #he created a whole system to simulate academic and person goals and stress throughout the year #he gave them plenty of chances to fail #he set DCs high.#the players just knocked it out of the park #you can't tell any story but the ones the dice want you to #if he had manufactured more danger or difficulty where there was none it would have felt cheap #and do you not remember the night yorb fight #like. the whole point of the year was that it wasn't hard. it just never stopped #they can do it they're capable they're smart. but the hustle and the stress and the fighting and the working never ends #that's why nothing 'had stakes' or 'felt challenging'#it's the slog that gets you. it's how long you're willing to keep going.#how much life can break you almost to your last breath but you get through it and you keep going anyway #but. i digress.#and i say all this with complete and total respect to other people's opinions #i feel no hate and wish no bad feelings on anyone who disagrees with this!#it's just my personal view on the whole thing #sorry if im being annoying i just have. opinions.#fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #fhjy

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jinatbd · 11 months ago

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Before I go back and read what I wrote two and a half years ago, an update on the life situation.

Claire and I have now been living in this apartment for 2.5 years. We're thinking about moving. I'm thinking about moving out of Los Angeles at some point this year.

I quit my job 6 months ago almost to the day. I'm in final interviews for only one role and I want it. I had my eyes opened to a ton of side hustles, none of which I've been doing anything about and that's on me honestly for not taking it seriously. For not planning, not putting in work, not doing anything that I keep looking at and "finding inspiration" for. I've realized I'm not disciplined.

I feel more level-headed than I ever have been in my life while lacking some purpose. Part of it is that I don't have the stress nor sleep deprivation-induced delusions of escape and symptoms of wanting to get out. Of not having a clear picture of the future in front of me.

I haven't dated. I'm turning 30 this year. I think maybe sometime in 2022, I realized that this is where I would be and I made my peace with it quickly. I realized that I really did want to focus on my career and what I was meant to do in my future.

What strikes me most is that for the first time in ever, I feel like I may not need to stick to the corporate ladder that I've been hyping up in my head. I'm both too impatient and I feel too smart for it. However, what I do know that I'm missing is discipline. That is what has made itself abundantly clear so now at least I know what I should be working toward.

I don't know that I need to be a full entrepreneur. At least I'm still clear that I don't want to be a founder. But what I do want to be is a CEO or a COO. I think I got distracted by the shiny-ness of CMO life sub-JJ. In the meantime, I think I need to sit down and think critically that if this is what I want to do, what am I doing to make myself capable and equipped to do this job one day. To ensure that someone would trust me with that and in fact want me to do it for them. Because I can reassure these friends all I want but they're not the ones that will end up creating companies.

Anyway, a lot and not a lot swimming around in my head right now so I'm curious where I'll end up in about 6 months.

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