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purple-obsidian · 5 months ago

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I'm back in your inbox again. Hello 👋

Been thinking about your ak jason todd and you've mentioned that his men know about her. They're intimidated by him and for good reason. But, hear me out, is Jason still working with scarecrow in your story?

Maybe Scarecrow is looking for the weakness in what seems like the arkham knights flawless armor. Maybe one of Jason's men isn't so loyal, or maybe scarecrow uses fear gas to get it out of them.

But I'm thinking how badly Jason would react if the reader was even in the slightest bit of danger or even vaugley threatened by scarecrow, even in passing. (Or slade, or even one of his men.) I think there'd be a bullet involved before the sentence is even over. Cause no matter how he treats her, she's still his person.

hello my friend! <3

in my little au, my fics 'say it back' and 'let go' happen just after the events of arkham knight, so jason is no longer working with scarecrow. i imagine that gotham is still a wreck, and jason hasn't yet transitioned to being red hood. so he's 'found' himself enough to have helped bruce in the end, but he's still harbors a crap ton of resentment and anger towards him and the others, and is still not above using lethal violence against those he thinks deserve it.

in my mind, this time period here is extremely tumultuous for him as he struggles to redefine and analyze what his goals and plans are now. like, if you're familiar with ATLA, i liken it to prince zuko getting physically ill after letting appa free. a sort of crisis of his self image. joker spent so much time convincing jason over and over how batman left him, abandoned him, telling him that bats was the enemy. and jason believed it, but when push came to shove, jason didn't exact his revenge. this turmoil inside of him, along with the unprocessed trauma of jokers multitude of atrocities, is what fuels a lot of his anger and unpredictability. his hired men are left over from his militia, he kept a handful of his most trusted guys on his payroll to help solidify his authority in gothams underworld. however, in my version of events, jason and reader were reunited back when he and scarecrow were still working together.

so, back to the original question. if earlier on, scarecrow had found out about reader, [and you're right, he had to trust some of his men to help keep her safe, so they could of had the info squeezed out of them. or maybe they were loose-lipped and talking shit, who knows.] no way crane could've resisted the temptation.

i think we can all agree that jason would use lethal force to protect reader. his own sins against her be damned, just because he's treated her like shit doesn't mean he will allow anyone else to threaten her or even touch her.

if it were dr. crane trying to use his fear gas on reader, jason would kill him on sight. no questions asked.

if it were someone less dangerous, like one of his militia getting too comfortable with reader, i see a possibility of him taking his time. we saw in 'let go' that he has some dark urges inside of him to hurt others the way he's been hurt. don't know if he'd actually have it in him to brutally torture someone, but if reader was injured, assaulted, or seriously harmed, who knows.

an important thing, though, is that i think jason would feel guilty after. not for killing them, not if they hurt his person. he'll be able to live with that just fine. but anything that prolongs their suffering i think he would feel remorse for, later on, when he's had more time to heal. more than anything, it will scare him to look back on it and know he's capable of such evil.

there would be a rare moment of vulnerability between jason and reader after he's eliminated the threat and can check and make sure readers okay.

if reader were suffering from fear gas, he would take her somewhere private and hold her close, not letting go until the toxin is out of her system, even if it's hours. most likely blaming himself the whole time and triggering him to spiral further down his path of self-hatred.

in the case of his militia men, they would be knocked out, and jason would get reader to safety asap. if reader has severe injuries, he may chance setting foot in a hospital, even though it reminds him of arkham. if the injuries are less severe, he would probably lock her up somewhere safe while he 'takes care' of the perpetrator, later returning to reader with bloody hands and eyes full of fear.

no matter the outcome, poor jay would be extra protective over reader for a while, second guessing who he trusts to leave her with and who is vetted enough to guard his safehouse when she's inside.

gahhhhh you're making me want to replay the games to brush up on the lore. its so tragic, jasons story. my heart hurts for him.

i would apologize for such a long-winded, unorganized response to a simple question, but i know you're just as obsessed as i am 😈

xoxo sid

#[sid answers]#[xoxo sid]#ak jason todd #arkham knight #thanks for the ask!#[sids moots]

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aicosu · 1 year ago

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Guys, I hate to do this.

Any of you who know me in any circle know that I'm a very professional, very private lady who hates any sort of disc horse breeds that might give me a headache. But this one is important, and my goal here is the integrity and reputation of artists.

For my credentials: I have been a part of five zines in the past. Two I moderated, and one I ran, created, laid out, printed, and shipped in its entirety.

So anyway:

HELLCHEER ZINE BULLSHIT

I joined Hellcheer and the Kindred Freaks Zine very late. Well, after sign ups, check-ins, etc. I saw it was happening in april-ish and shot a DM to the twitter to join. I did both a full art page and a cosplay page.

At the time, the server was quiet but kind. We got updates on the number of orders and books being made.

@Lawless is the runner of the Zine. They created and organized it. They are in charge of the main emails, the selling website, the orders, the shipping, and the funds. (To be clear, this level of sole responsibility is not ABNORMAL in a zine. And is not always an issue.)

@Valerie is the 'social media' mod. They are in charge of managing announcements and answering questions on Twitter and Tumblr. Please keep in mind: No one wants anything but a fast and easy recovery for both Lawless and their mother. Medical emergencies, heck—LIFE happens. It's always okay to put a hiatus on anything, even product with money, in order to take care of yourself and family. Every single contributor only wants them to be clear in what they need and how we can help.

So lets break down what's happening.

Back in May, Lawless went radio silent on the status of books and merch coming in. Another contributor and I, @Toguchin, start dming Lawless to make sure everything is on track. They come back after a week and apologize for being MIA, explaining that their mom got sick. We thank them for all their hard work and wish them and their mom well.

On July 15th, after contributors and customers inquire on delays to meeting the announced shipping deadline, Lawless makes a twitter post saying shipping has started and contributor copies will be happening. They proceeded to go MIA from the server discord and have been since.

The following week, contributors and customers discover that shipping HAS NOT started. Labels have been created and printed, but nothing appears to be in transit at all.

Toguchin and I started getting reached out to by customers worrying their packages are lost. We report this to the zine server to NO RESPONSE. Except @Ashlee, the discord mod who also has heard nothing.

July 20th to 22nd with customers complaining and theorizing a scam in mind; Toguchin and I propose that PDFs be given out to assure and apologize for delays.

We as a server discover a few things: 1. We cannot access the list of buyers at all in order to email apology zines because Lawless did not share the account information with anyone. 2. We cannot access the main email for the same reason. 3. Valerie, the social media mod, deleted discord and distanced themselves from the Hellcheer fandom and has not been checking the Twitter or tumblr, or discord notifications since May.

Ashlee and Ichikun contact Valerie to sign on.

I made a new email and said fuck it, we need to do something to assuage fears, let them send receipts to honor their zines. Valerie didn't know what to post or say or how to answer everyone, so I gave them a copy paste.

Still no words from Lawless but hoping for the best knowing the have a medical emergency, Ashlee and I begin answering the new email for PDFs, but cant help people change addresses or give them any update!!!

Throughout the weeks mods and contributors ping Lawless constantly asking if they need any help! Any help at all, answering emails, changing order addresses, heck a few of us ask if we can pick up the books and packages and ship stuff for them so they can hands off the project and take care of their mom. No response.

We send message after message saying if Lawless can share picture proof, that would be great cause scam theories and chargebacks are starting. BUT ALSO, we let Lawless know we and customers will ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND delays if they just communicate it. That if they post in server and on Twitter that shipping needs to wait a month or two, no one will mind. No responses.

July 31, Lawless makes a Twitter update with comments disabled that they are shipping ALL packages that monday with a picture of packages. They also call Valerie privately and tell the issue that USPS refuses to pick up shipments from Lawless has, and they can't leave their mothers side from the post office. They also claim they can only deliver ten packages at a time at the post when they go. *USPS has no such rules. Me and other mutuals who run shops have never had such a problem.

A week later, we realize that customers and our packages are still not in transit. Labels printed only. Most of us assume all packages are just label printed and sitting at Lawless' house.

We beg for updates from Valerie or Lawless. Valerie doubles down on Lawless old reasonings and also officially goes MIA until present day.

Throughout August, USA packages get delivered. A few more updates are made straight to Twitter and Tumblr with comments off. Radio silence in server.

As packages arrive, we all become aware from people's posts and pictures that random Stranger Things Art Stickers are included. No credit to any artist is given? No contributor is responsible for this art. These are suspected to be BOUGHT from Amazon. STOLEN arts amazon sellers resell in packs. NO contributor is okay with this!!! Valerie responds with no response at all.

As of now:

No response to missing digital copies. Ashlee and I cannot give out any without receipts because we have no access to buyers list. Nor can we answer missing packages inquiries cause we have no info. International packages unaccounted for. SCRUNCHIES FREE OR OTHERWISE UNACCOUNTED FOR. Zero word on contributor copies. Zero word on donation status. Zero word on generated profit or book and shipping cost. No way to verify funds at all. No word from Lawless to contributors since July 15. From Valerie since the 31st.

Some notes:

Turning off twitter comments was NEVER what any one of us wanted. A ZINE LAYOUT was never shared. So until people had them in hand or in PDF none of us realized that the credits DO NOT POINT TO ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. All of our usernames are handle-less? This was extremely disappointing. This one matters to me: Our FanEdit artist was not aware their work was not getting a full page. Again no pre-layout was shared. So their work is tiny and in the margins of the front and back. That's not okay. All of us wanted to help in any way we could. NONE of us doubt Lawless intentions or emergencies. But lying, misleading, non-communicating and turning off comments are all things we did not consent to. All of us only wanted a cordial, honest response. None of us actually cared about delays as much as we did communications. There has been many noticeable times Lawless has been online, posting privately or otherwise, even active on Discord and has not reached out.

Why make a post:

Customers should know contributors fought for them. That we did everything we could and our reputation as artists in the fandom shouldn't be tarnished cause two creators decided to disappear. Contributors should get their copies. Many of us BOUGHT bundles. I've been in five zines and every single one gave out free contributor copies WITH merch!!

I'm also attaching all server screenshots for integrity. I'm in half a mind to release the zine PDF publicly, for free, for everyone at this point. I personally think it's only fair since many are still missing just that. But I do not want to insult anyone who paid for just the PDF regardless of the potential contribution to charity. But it's really up to customers, not me.

#hellcheer #hellcheer zine #kindred freaks #fucking sucky ass post to make

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catboybiologist · 9 months ago

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Transition journal and documentation: Jan and Feb of 2024

Measurements for January are up, and February will be soon to follow! Tagging @whalesharkcat and @trans4hire here. If you want to be tagged when I post these, let me know! The advice for injections is in the journal below.

Some quick notes to clarify things:

I'm consolidating qualitative observations into my journal. Oftentimes these haven't been easy to cleanly classify into different categories of observation, so I'm not really gonna bother.

As I'm sure you've realized, the timing of these observations isn't consistent. I have a private document with exact date stamps for everything, and these are mostly right at the end of the month. But my levels checks don't match up to this cleanly, so I group them with the closest set of other measurements. Sometimes I don't have one that cleanly fits.

I can't trust myself to measure height anymore, to be blunt. I want to ask the doctor every time but chicken out about it easily.

But anyways.

And now, as a journal, a brief summary of my thoughts on the past two months:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*deep breathing*

fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkkkk

Okay. So. I'm not gonna list off everything that's happened since the year started. So many independent things started happening, one after the other, that I had to start formatting it as a bulleted list to tell people I know irl what's been going on. Each one has been a crisis on its own- massive emotional events, health problems, health problems in people close to me, transphobic drama with former "friends", academic&research problems, and a resulting mental health spiral. And all of this leading up to my qualifying exams at the end of February, for which I barely scraped by and passed.

But. With all of this. There's silver linings.

The biggest one is that the start of this year has been a stress test of my overall emotional state since starting HRT. I'm not gonna lie- if all of this had happened a year ago, I don't think I would be here now. I either would have completely snapped and done something I regret, or... yeah. But as it stands? I cried. A lot. I isolated a bit. I had mood swings and anxiety and anger and excitement and relief and highs and lows beyond my wildest dreams. It was intense. It was not pretty. But it was cathartic, and healthy. Before this, I would've processed all of this as a generic, stressful, anxiety-ridden malaise, that would've weighed down on me until a breaking point. As it stands, however, I made it. Not in a neat way, not even really in an emotionally stable way, but I made it. And there is no fucking way that would be true pre-HRT. I think I can genuinely say at this point that estrogen has been life saving for me.

In the middle of all this, I switched to injections, right at the start of February. A mistake? Maybe, but I'm too fed up with delaying my progress because "the time isn't right", so I stubbornly refused to delay that change any further. It's a goal I worked out with my provider ahead of time and I stuck to it. So how's that been?

It's been an incredible and WILD experience. I'm on estradiol valerate. For those that don't know, estradiol is conjugated with another compound, which is then cleaved over time in your body to release it. For injections, that results in a peak irculating levels about 1-3 days afer injections. Some people feel it more than others- and holy shit, do I feel it. This has given rise to "the Sundays", because on Sundays, I'm going fucking nuts. My senses are heightened, and I start craving and reacting to physical touch in intense ways. It's not always sexual- while arousal comes easier to me the closer I am to peak, mostly I just become a cuddleslut. It is WILD. I'm also more emotional and cry more easily. Some cis female friends I have confirmed that it mirrors the feelings they get at a certain point in their monthly cycle, so essentially the fluctuating levels are giving me the sensory and emotional effects of a period every week.

The flip side of this is that I feel like shit on Thursdays, like I missed a sublingual dose when I was on that. After the first two weeks, I started taking 2mg sublingual on Wednesday night and Thursday mornings to avoid this, which helped a lot. My provider specifically said this was a good idea, so if you're dealing with that yourself, consider trying it out. I might move to a 5-day injection interval instead, but we'll see.

I've only had one problem with injections so far, which I'm dealing with right now- on my fifth self injection ever, I had unsteady hands and hesitation before stabbing myself, causing a not-great needle stick. Currently, I have a nasty looking injection bruise. Not painful, and healing pretty well, but not fantastic to look at. Self injecting has been intimidating and scary, moreso than I thought it would be. But the actual physical pain is much, MUCH less than I thought it would be, its just that the lizard brain refuses to stab yourself.

If you're thinking of switching to injections, here's a bit of my advice:

keep as many oral/sublingual pills on hand as you can anyways. These will be helpful if you feel your injections aren't carrying you emotionally for the entire interval, or if you don't have an environment where you can inject regularly

If you have a provider, they should provide a nurse tutorial and consultation for you to inject properly. If they don't, try to insist on one. They'll give better advice than I can.

think less, do more. Ideally, the actual moment of the stab should be painless. Be quick and steady about it. The fluid entering feels like pressure and slight burning, but nothing more than that.

vary your injection sites. A doctor or nurse should explain this to you, but this reduces risk of doing what I did and bruising yourself.

be extremely sterile about things. All of the wiping down and sterile technique you'll hear? Don't fuck around with it. Infection is no joke, and absolutely can happen.

Purchase spare needles and syringes from a pharmacist or online. Several reasons for this- one, if you make a mistake and a needle is no longer sterile, you don't want to hesitate about throwing it away. And two... well, let's make a second point about this.

If you want to stock up on estradiol for the future (if you're worried about future access to HRT), this can be easier with injections- but you have to be careful, and you'll need extra needles (for the love of fuck, do not reuse needles). Vials will always have excess medication, because it allows standard volumes to fill and distribute, and it also ensures that needle draws will always be able to be fully submerged. Do NOT try to run your vial out. You WILL run into sterility and contamination issues. That said, vial expiration dates are typically measured from time of first puncture. This will vary, but for me, I was told that the vials are good for 4 weeks after the first puncture. This is overcautious, but not egregiously so. My recommendation would be to use each vial for 1-2 extra punctures, and open the next vial a bit later. Still get prescription refills as frequently as you can. That way, you can stock up on unpucntured vials in case anything happens to your supply. THIS SAID- if you notice ANYTHING wrong with the vial- if the seal isn't containing the fluid properly, if bits of the seal are falling into the medication, if you can see a noticable hole in the seal, DO NOT USE THAT VIAL. Look me in the fucking eye. Do. Fucking. NOT. get sepsis. Do not fuck around with this. The flexibility to be cautious about your vials is a great reason to stock up on a bit extra in the first place.

To anyone in the US, if you're comfortable with doing this to stock up, I would highly, HIGHLY recommend starting this now. Slowly start using your vials for 1-2 punctures extra, stock up unbroken vials. Just in case something bad happens after the elections.

Typically, your medication will come with two sizes of needles- a draw needle (puncture the seal and draw medication into the syringe) and an injection needle. You might want to consider going *slightly* smaller on one or both of those needles. Estradiol is dissolved in a viscous oil as medication, and can be difficult to draw and dispense as a result. But, if you're patient, a smaller gauge might help. For the draw needle, it can help do less damage to the seal and preserve it a bit longer. For the injection needle, if you have a bit more sensitive skin, it might be comforting. Don't deviate too much, though, ESPECIALLY without a medical professional involved.

Remember that I'm not a medical professional, please consult one whenever possible.

I'm still on spiro for now, and I'm continuing it until my next levels check comes back clean. I don't want to erase months of progress getting my levels up by dropping it too early.

Measurement-wise, there hasn't been much change. But I'm starting to realize that the measurements aren't really telling the full story. My breasts look so much larger and, for lack of a better word, breast-like than they did even a couple months ago, but that hasn't been coming through in the measurements very well. I think what's happening is that my fat around my sides is shrinking at the same time my breasts are growing. This is reflected a bit in terms of underbust and waist measurements, but it still seems more dramatic than those are letting on.

Face wise, I think I'm really seeing some changes now. It's hard to put into words, but I'm starting to look more and more androgynous or femme by default, especially if I shave. I'm estatic, honestly, and I hope the trend continues. My chin and nose continue to be problems, but as the structure of the face around them changes, that's becoming less and less true.

I've been getting laser, but so far it's done pretty much nothing. There's lag time, and some of my health issues meant that I had to delay a session and get both sessions at a much lower power than I would've like. I was really hoping to have visible hair removal by June or so, but it looks like that's not happening. That kinda stings, and is a huge blow to my ability to pass by the one-year mark, which has been my target.

I think my boymoding has been holding, for the most part, although its been harder. Even with my sports bras, small bumps are visible under a t shirt, and the face changes won't be unnoticable forever. I've def been more loudly bisexual, and I think most people just write it off as me being fruity. Cis people can also be pretty oblivious, especially when changes are gradual. That being said, I've been coming out slowly to people, giving my usual speech of "I'm still presenting as a man for now, but just so you know this is what's going on", which removes a lot of the pressure and anxiety from boymoding. Still, I haven't told everyone (notably, labmates and family), and my timeline of social transition between June and August seems to be holding steady.

So uh, yeah. If you're curious about anything specifically, I'm an open book, although I may move it to DMs if it gets too personal. Hope that my progress updates are helpful to at least someone!

#trans #transitioning #transgender #trans journal #trans progress #trans documentation #transfemme #trans HRT #trans woman

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watermelonsloth · 1 month ago

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Should Shikamaru have become a Medic Nin?

Back when I made my post about Ino on the Sasuke Retrieval Mission, I ended up returning to the manga to review some info. While reviewing, I returned to Shikamaru’s reaction to the failed mission/his comrades being okay. I could talk about how fucked up Temari and Shikaku’s reactions to Shikamaru’s very reasonable self-doubt/guilt was, but for now I’ll just talk about his interactions with Tsunade following those reactions. Specifically how (and I might just be reading into this) their interactions seem to hint at him becoming a medic ninja.

First, some review/background info for anyone who hasn’t read the manga/watched the anime in a while. The scene starts with Shikamaru and Temari sat outside Choji’s hospital room. At this time, Choji and Neji are under intensive care, Kiba has barely woken up, and Naruto and Sasuke are both still missing in action. Shikamaru feels guilty for, despite being team leader, walking away mostly unscathed and tells Temari that he’s considering quitting being a shinobi altogether. Temari tells him off for being emotionally “delicate” and Shikaku tells him off for being a “coward” (specifically saying that him leaving the field won’t actually protect anyone). Then Tsunade shows up to say that Choji is stable, Shizune says Neji is stable and Naruto’s returned alive, and Tsunade says she couldn’t have asked for more than them all getting out alive. Shikamaru promises the next mission will be perfect and the chapter ends.

This is a nice moment, but it’s not really relevant to my point outside of Tsunade mentioning that the “Nara Clan’s Sacred Medicine Guide” was helpful. The main reason I brought this up is because of how it frames the next scene.

So, the last scene was Shikamaru anxiously waiting outside the ninja icu for his best friend to survive feeling so useless that he wants to quit his job, something he only decides against after hearing that his team isn’t dead and being told that if he doesn’t want his friends to die, he should work to better keep them alive in the future. The next scene is him talking to Tsunade about how every team should have a medic nin and what it takes to become one. For the people who framing isn’t their strong suit: it’s following up a scene about a character realizing that to reach their goal (keeping their friends alive) they need to step up and work harder with a scene explaining how hard medic nin have to work to step up.

You can't even argue that Kishimoto doesn’t know that the previous scene will impact how the following scene is interpreted because he does it for the literal next scene transition. Almost immediately after Tsunade ominously saying that first-rate medics need a “special something” (literally only 2-3 panels apart) it cuts to Sakura, future medicine extraordinaire. At most, you can argue that Kishimoto intended for the scene to be interpreted as Shikamaru becoming a smarter strategist or that Kishimoto wasn’t considering transitions between chapters. But unintentional readings are still valid, so I think my point still stands.

Now that I’ve talked about the story structuring that started me down this rabbit hole, let’s talk about the actual story. Should Shikamaru become a medic nin?

I first want to go over whether or not Shikamaru has what it takes to become a medic nin according to Tsunade. She lists the qualifications as follows: a light and precise hand, an enormous amount of expertise, an adeptness at practical application, patience, and a “special something”.

Taking her first point literally, Shikamaru is pretty precise in all that he does and I don’t think shaky hands will be a problem for him considering all of the awkward positions he maintains for his different shadow jutsu. Taking it in a more metaphorical “gentle but efficient touch” sort of way, I also think it applies, at least when it matters. The best example of this is when he dragged Naruto out of his depression after Jiraiya’s death, but I’ll also mention how he became friends with Choji by standing up for him (in his own way) and how he deferred to Ino in the Forest of Death about protecting Sakura. Expertise is easily yes because it’s just training and Shikamaru has shown his willingness to put in the work if it’s for the people he cares about. I don’t think practical application will be a problem for two reasons: 1. Considering he’s able to translate shoji, a board game, into on-field strategies, he seems pretty good at translating practice into practicality, 2. Shikamaru just got out of a conversation with Temari about how he was too naive and that there’s a difference between training and doing, it wouldn’t make sense for him not to try getting better at the doing part after saying that. Patience is probably the most obvious. Asuma literally described him as doing everything at the pace of an old man. The “special something” isn’t explicitly defined in-manga, but it’s implied to be a person’s personal drive to do something/reach a goal. While it isn’t exactly something I’d describe Shikamaru as having at this point in the series, I would say him gaining it would align with his character arc of gaining that drive and learning to follow it.

Speaking of character arcs, I also want to get into how I think him becoming a medic would impact his character quality. I’m not gonna detail how him becoming a medic would be better payoff to his two scenes with Tsunade at the hospital because I’ve already gone into them and I think you’re smart enough to figure that out yourself. I also won’t get too into the other main benefit to him becoming a medic because I’ve already made a post on the topic. OGs of this blog may remember my post about Shikamaru’s sexism and how it should’ve been addressed in-series. Shikamaru becoming a student of Tsunade would absolutely do this. Not only would he be acknowledging her prowess as a ninja, but it would also give him a positive female role model (one who didn’t shame him for his feelings and would absolutely understand his fear of his loved ones dying in the field due to his failure). Plus, depending on your conclusions about the ninja world, by becoming a medic, he might be entering a female dominated field. I also think that him becoming a medic/doctor/surgeon would be a good (and potentially better) end to his character arc about motivation and self discipline because the medical field is absolutely ruthless and slackers aren’t gonna make it.

Some miscellaneous thoughts I had are also that expanding on the Nara clan’s ties to medicine would be interesting, Shikamaru probably has the chakra control for the job considering his clan jutsu, the series is in dire need of more male medic nin, there would be way more tragedy to Asuma’s death if Shikamaru couldn’t save him even with medical ninjutsu, I think Shikamaru killing Hidan using his knowledge of the human body (like irreversibly paralyzing him or just slowly cutting him to bits with the chakra scalpel rather than blowing him up) would be cooler, and Asuma wanting Shikamaru specifically to take care of Kurenai and Mirai would make more sense if he was a doctor.

If nothing else, I think Shikamaru becoming a medic ninja would make more sense than Ino and arguably Sakura.

#Apparently I’m going back to long posting #‘Cause holy shit #I had the manga open beside me the entire time I was writing this #shikamaru nara #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto classic #naruto analysis #analysis #tsunade senju #naruto rewrite #fixing naruto #my stooff

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redguns · 1 year ago

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Armored Core 6 main cast thoughts. spoilers for all endings

btw. categorizing endings by number rather than if they're "good" or bad" because i think thats stupid. if you categorize them like that you're a fool! Coral take you!

Starting off with Handler Walter. Went into the game not trusting him at all. Whenever he said anything I always thought "Yeah, okay, whatever Walter. in that kind of mocking tone but that changed quicker than i thought once i realized there was a genuine care in his voice and started putting the pieces together for his end-goal. The second ending is genuinely heartbreaking. He really meant every word he said to you. And I adore him for it. View him like a father now

Moving on, Ayre. My beautiful coral anomaly wife.. her kinder and more supportive demeanor immediately sold me, of course, but it was her efforts to actually get me to care about Rubicon as a planet and it's people that really hit. It's special. It's tasteful. It feels great. And it hurts all the more in the first ending when I have to discard all of that. It sucked so much. I was on the verge of tears throughout the whole final boss of the first ending. Worst break-up of my life. Girl I love you so much

Up next, speaking of love, is "Cinder" Carla, who I fell in love with like, 2 lines in? Very attractive voice and then an incredible personality to go with it. Probably the most fun character in the game by design and it goes a long way. She's like a role model to me. I want to be her and I want to date her at the same time. She's just like me Fr. I want to kiss her

transitioning from that to V.IV- SIKE IT'S "CHATTY" STICK TIME Phenomenal. Absolutely incredible performance. Absolutely sells the no emotion AI aspect without being too overbearing. Armored core as a series has always had a high standard for AI characters, and chatty is absolutely at the top of the pile for me along with Chief from V... I love him so much... The strongest little soldier...

Up next, for real now, is V.IV Rusty. What a strong first impression. It was always his line that stuck with me from the trailer. Ready to climb over the wall? They nailed the "rival pilot who's just like you but in another faction" to a degree I haven't seen in decades. A genuine brother in arms. My best buddy in the world. Every time he showed up in the game he just did the coolest fucking thing in the world. Slides right under the door as its opening. Crackshot sniper nailing insane headshots. And then he gets the coolest fights in the game against you. BOTH OF THEM!! HE'S SO COOL!!! HE'S HIM!!!!!! I WAS SO HAPPY IN THE SECOND ENDING ROUTE TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE HIM!!!! THATS MY BROTHER!!!!!! THATS MY BUDDY!!!!!!!!!

..Ahem, moving on then. V.II Snail. Yes. Another motherfucker they nailed perfectly. From the first SECOND you hear his voice you hate him. The fact his head's up his own ass. The fact you keep learning over and over throughout the game that he's SUCH a piece of shit. The fact there is nothing he wouldn't do to stay on top. Despicable little man. Absolutely brilliant antagonist.

And now, finally, the last main character to talk about is G5 Iguazu. Where to begin with this guy... Right from the get go you understand the kind of character he is. All bark, no bite. Every now and then you run into him, you kick his ass, he whines and seemingly gets away. It's interesting, then, that in the second playthrough, already, he shows up more. He sends an assassin after you. And that's that. Nothing until route 3, where it all finally comes together. How he keeps coming back. The ringing in his ears. His hatred and envy of you so strong he gives up his entire body just for a chance to beat you. He's fascinating to me. For whatever reason, his final words stick to me like glue. How he sees you, despite everything. A relic, yes, but one who's free. He wanted those wings, too. I've really come to love him, and what an annoying brat he is. That's his entire charm. He is welcome to the pantheon of Real Haters

there. that covers all the main players. that ended up being longer than i expected. thank you if you humored reading through all of that! i dont usually do these kinds of posts cause i go on for too long!

but this shit mean something to me man

#long post #armored core 6 #armored core VI #ac6 spoilers #armored core 6 spoilers #acvi spoilers #armored core vi spoilers

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thistransient · 4 months ago

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Halfway through July, and I have neglected to write my yearly birthday introspection, although it did occur to me that between my birthday and the new year I was in fact doing two introspections a year anyways.

For certain reasons I've been waffling about it, but it's also quite nice to be able to look back and compare with the previous year, to see what's changed (sometimes unexpectedly) and what's still the same. Last year I mentioned I "made a close friend [...] and disentangled myself from a draining relationship", but in the end I had been drawn to said friend because he was the polar opposite of the person I was disentangling myself from, and while a different extreme might have been refreshing in the moment, that too was unsustainable in the long run. I think what finally dragged me out of the cycle of too-clingy/too-distant nebulous just-friends-but-what-if sort of relationships was twofold: I started going to counselling with a goal (not the usual "I feel like I'm having a breakdown so I'll see a therapist for 3-6 months before ditching"), and also got into a communal hobby such that I was able to make casual friends and attend regular and diverse events with a time limit (rather than laser focusing on one person and relying on them for all my socialising).

A year ago I said I was feeling adrift, goal-less, and filled with the sort of summer malaise inspired by the scorching Taipei weather this time of year. Unfortunately we are still rather scorched. The temperature and UV levels somewhat put a damper on my usual practice of walking around outside looking at things. On the positive side, I did struggle through the adrift-ness and applied for one (1) grad school program over the winter, which I didn't get into but I did learn that I feel better when I'm working on something, and I was also motivated to finally take Taiwan's Chinese proficiency exam to open up my options for the sort of programs I could try for in the future (I passed a level higher than I expected to, and it was great to feel acknowledgment of my competence at something I'd really put long-term effort into). After the grad school rejection I started planning the trip to Ladakh, which allllmost felt like it involved a similar level of paperwork and fuss- and actually pulling that off in the end (ok, even tho this was after my birthday) despite all my fears and anxiety (particularly around travelling post-transition) was also a great confidence boost. (For a week after I also had this frantic urge to drastically change my life, and I can't tell if it wore off with time or if the heat simply drained out all ambition beyond staying out of the sun and sitting in front of the fan eating cold dragonfruits.)

I have at least two proper goals now, and although one may require starting over entirely from an educational standpoint, as they say, "the time will pass anyways". On my bike rides at night I do tend to start pondering what shall become of me, creeping along in the years but being no closer to permanent or even temporary residency status than any other time I write about it either wistfully or with well-intentioned but otherwise ultimately futile determination, nor feeling like I am useful for any sort of capitalist pursuits. (I suppose this is the part of reflection wherein things have stayed the same, and we must stay tuned for next year.) But I also believe I have made some progress in deflating a little the omnipresent catholic guilt at simply existing, not to mention the adjacent notion that enjoying life a bit and not being maximally miserable at all times is a SIN. By this I mean I have gone twice now to a nice hair salon to let a beautiful woman shampoo, condition, and also give me a haircut that doesn't bear a strong resemblance to a bichon-frise immediately after.

All in all, I would say the verdict is incremental improvement. (Okay maybe I'm also racking up incremental nerve damage from all the shibari but you win some you lose some.) My housing/employment/visa-running status hasn't changed dramatically but I feel more hopeful and kinder with myself. I think my Chinese reading speed has kicked up a notch. I've managed to keep the instant noodle consumption under control. I've sent a lot of postcards on my quarterly trips, which are generally well-received. I have taken great delight in growing many plants in the window cage (whether they survive is another thing, RIP to the tomato plants while I was away, bravo to the basil that miraculously rehydrated from what seemed to be a completely unsalvageable state, sorry to the lemon tree sprout that was apparently doing fine on its own before I came back and over-watered it to death). Things feel kinda okay, and I used to be quite suspicious of this because surely they were only going to get worse again, but these days I figure hey, even so, might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

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oleander-nin · 1 year ago

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Writing advice(hopefully)

I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK I SAID I DO HAVE A METHOD TO WRITING. I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A METHOD BECAUSE I'VE DONE IT FOR SO LONG.

advice under cut

Before you write something, flesh the ENTIRE thing out. I don't mean like kinda do a couple word summary, I mean write the basics before you write how the basics go together. You want to write about a picnic? Flesh out things they might say during it, what their bringing, who's making the food, etc etc.

Examples from my own writing doc for my most recent posted fic->

As you can see, it's long, and tells me most of what I need. It's also not organized, and many things are misspelled or grammatically incorrect. This is because my main goal was to get a basic plan out, not to make it look pretty. I also had three slightly different ideas I could go with before deciding on which I wanted. The more you have down, the easier it will be. I also color code mine, but that's not necessary, it's just ease of use. I can explain my color coding if needed, but I won't until asked.

2. Write in chunks. Do you have that really specific scenario already planned out? Write it first. You can make the rest around it, but once you get at least that small bit out, the rest can come naturally.

3. Keep yourself occupied. I get bored easily if I'm just writing, so I have to be doing other things at the same time. Just make sure it's something simple so you don't get distracted. I personally use my cat as to keep my stimulated(?) enough to continue. You could mimic something like this by putting on music/shows in the background, or writing multiple fics at once.

4. Don't force yourself if you can. I know I said I do earlier, but that was mostly a joke. I write to deal with stress, so writing in itself calms me down. It's difficult to do something if I'm not perfectly in tune with it. If a request is proving to be difficult, or an idea isn't doin what you want, change it up a bit until it fits into the puzzle better. You'd rather have a changed fic than no fic.

5. Use prompt generators for ideas if you're stuck. I personally have a big tin of cookie fortunes and verbs/nouns so I pick two up and create a story around that. It helps get your brain going. And you can keep doing this until something sparks.

6. Stay as focused as you can. Close other tabs, keep your eyes on your writing, stuff like that. I know this may seem to conflict with the 'keeping yourself occupied' one, but you really have to find the right balance for you. For example, I can't have music playing, but I CAN talk to other people while I write. Play around until you find your zone.

7. Try not to edit as you go. It's okay to fix a word or two as needed, but once something takes over 5 minutes to fix, you should skip it and move on. Your main goal should be able to get it all down so you have something to edit eventually.

8. If you forget a word, don't dwell on it too much. Just put something as a safeholder(ie: Elephant, Jumanji, etc), highlight it, and move on. You can shoot a friend a text to help find the word, but don't stress if nothing matches what you're thinking of. You can figure it out after, or find a new word.

9. If you get stuck while writing, go back about three to five sentences and read it over. See if you can continue going, or find what you need to change. It doesn't have to be a huge change, it just has to be enough to get you going again. And if you can't figure it out? Skip it and write the rest and figure out the transition later.

10. Use references throughout you're writing. Whether it's on the world, injuries, dialogue, emotion portrayal, or anything in between, do research and find references. It can help make connections in your brain as well as make it easier to write. For many fanfics, if you look up the fandom's wiki, their personalities will be included in their character's article.

I think that's it for now, I might add more later. I really hope this make an inkling of sense, I got frustrated after Tumblr deleted half of what I wrote the first time around. Apologies for the rambles, I am neither good with words, neither with explaining myself in a coherent manner. If anyone needs/wants extra clarification, don't be shy to ask. And my sincerest apologies for not saying this in a reblog @itsyagurlchip, but it was starting to get long and I hate how you can't collapse reblogs so I put it here. If you need me to, I can copypaste and put it as a reblog.

#writing help #creative writing #writing advice

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suchathrilltobeagirl · 28 days ago

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Found this article written by Dr Gwen Patrone who has just recently started her own transition.

I appreciate this is not everyone's 'cup of tea', but I feel it could have been written for me ... it challenges my own fears in coming out as a woman!

Overcoming Fear in Transition: A Transgender Woman’s Journey

When we think of a person undergoing gender transition, we might imagine someone who embodies courage—a person who faces uncertainty, steps into the unknown, and chooses to live authentically despite the risks. It’s easy to picture a confident and fearless individual who confronts the challenges of transitioning head-on.

However, the reality of this journey often includes facing profound fears and doubts, much like a warrior contending with metaphorical dragons. These “dragons” aren’t the fantastical creatures of legend, but they are just as real: fears of rejection, discomfort, discrimination, and the anxiety over physical and emotional changes.

In a world where external and internal challenges seem daunting, how does one begin to overcome these fears? And, perhaps even more importantly, what if the right choice for you is to stop? There’s power in realizing that it’s okay to adjust your path and that living authentically doesn’t require a single narrative.

Facing the Dragons of Transition

Transitioning from male to female can feel like entering a battlefield. There are obstacles to be confronted—some external and societal, others deeply personal. These “dragons” might include:

• Fear of Rejection: Worrying about losing family, friends, or professional opportunities because of your transition.

• Fear of Discomfort: Facing potential physical pain from medical interventions or the social discomfort of living openly in a world that may not fully understand.

• Fear of Regret: The anxiety that comes from wondering whether the path you’re taking is truly right for you or if it might lead to a different kind of struggle.

�� Fear of the Unknown: Not knowing how your body will change, how people will react, or how your life will evolve as you embrace your true identity.

These fears can be overwhelming, but they don’t have to be paralyzing. The journey is not just about transitioning; it’s about learning to face, understand, and, when necessary, accept these fears.

Using ‘Fear Setting’ in Transition

In the same way that many people use goal-setting to plan for the future, ‘fear setting’ can be a powerful tool for those navigating a transition. Tim Ferriss’ concept of “fear setting” involves identifying the fears that hold you back, assessing their validity, and preparing to handle the worst-case scenarios. For those considering or in the midst of transitioning, this process can provide clarity and reassurance.

How Fear Setting Works:

1. Identify Your Fears: Write down your biggest fears related to your transition. It might be fear of not being accepted, fear of medical complications, or fear of making irreversible decisions.

2. Explore the Worst-Case Scenarios: Imagine the absolute worst outcomes. What if your family rejects you? What if you regret a medical procedure? What if you decide that transitioning isn’t for you?

3. Plan Your Coping Strategies: For each worst-case scenario, outline how you would cope or reverse the situation. What resources are available? Who can you turn to for support? What might you do to adapt or heal?

4. Evaluate the Likelihood: Often, after laying out the worst-case scenarios, you may find that they are less probable or severe than you originally feared. Recognizing this can help diminish the power of those fears.

Acknowledging When to Stop: A Different Kind of Courage

Transitioning is not a linear process, nor is it a commitment that everyone must see through to the “end.” One of the bravest decisions you can make is recognizing when stopping is the best option for you. It’s important to understand that deciding not to proceed with transition—whether temporarily or permanently—is not a failure. Instead, it’s a valid choice that reflects a deep awareness of your own needs, boundaries, and well-being.

• Listen to Your Instincts: Transitioning isn’t an all-or-nothing endeavor. If you feel that you’re at a place where you’re comfortable—physically, emotionally, or socially—then honor that feeling. Sometimes, the act of pausing or stopping is a recognition that you’ve reached a version of your authentic self that feels right.

• Overcoming the Shame of Stopping: There’s often pressure, both internal and external, to “see it through” once you’ve started. However, it’s essential to release yourself from expectations—yours or society’s—and embrace the reality that your journey is yours alone. It’s a sign of strength to prioritize your mental and emotional health over the idea of a “perfect” transition.

• Define Your Own Success: Success is not about meeting a checklist or achieving a particular milestone. It’s about finding peace and authenticity, even if that means stepping back or choosing a different path.

Embracing Your Personal Journey, Fear and All

Just as a warrior’s bravery doesn’t come from the absence of fear but from confronting it, transitioning doesn’t require you to be fearless. In fact, acknowledging your fears—whether they involve medical procedures, social acceptance, or doubts about your path—is an act of courage in itself. These fears are valid and are part of the broader human experience. What matters most is how you respond to them.

Conclusion: Your Path, Your Power

The journey from male to female is not just about becoming but also about exploring who you are at each step. Fear is not something to be avoided or eliminated; it’s a sign that you are challenging yourself and stepping into the unknown. Use fear setting to assess your path, understand your fears, and make informed choices.

And remember, if you find that continuing the transition no longer feels right, it’s okay to stop. There is no shame in saying, “This is enough for me.” Living authentically isn’t about ticking off boxes but about feeling comfortable in your own skin—whatever that looks like for you. Your bravery lies in choosing the path that aligns with your truth, not with someone else’s expectations.

Dr Gwen Patrone

THANK YOU, Doctor ... Katie xx

#just a girl #night and day #mtf transition

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gkyoyukinona · 16 days ago

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How to Write an Essay (Without Losing Your Sanity lol)

The essay. That dreaded form of writing that often brings out feelings of fear, dread, and confusion. But fear not! Writing an essay doesn't have to be as terrifying as it seems. Whether you're a student or someone who just got stuck with a writing assignment, i am here to guide you through the process. Get ready to unlock the mystery of essay writing in a very simple way.

Step 1: Understand the Prompt

First things first: Read the assignment. I know, I know—this sounds too easy, but you'd be surprised how many people skip this crucial step. Understanding the question you're being asked is the foundation of your entire essay. You wouldn’t build a house without a blueprint, would you? (Unless you’re a DIY enthusiast)

Ask yourself:

What is the essay asking me to do? Analyze? Argue? Explain?)

Are there specific guidelines or requirements? (Word count? Format? Citation style?)

What’s the purpose of the essay? (Are you informing? Persuading? Telling a story?)

Step 2: Research Like You’re the Next Sherlock Holmes

You may be tempted to skip this part and just write whatever comes to mind. Big mistake! Essays are all about backing up your ideas with solid evidence. So, channel your inner Sherlock Holmes and start researching.

Use reliable sources (we’re not citing Wikipedia here, folks).

Take notes and organize your thoughts. This will save you from diving into a writing frenzy and realizing halfway through that you’ve completely lost track of your argument.

Look for a variety of sources—books, articles, interviews, or anything that feels appropriate for your topic.

Once you’ve done your research, take a deep breath and let the facts fill your brain. You’ll need them in the next step.

Step 3: Make an Outline

Okay, you’ve got your research, and now it’s time to plan out your essay. The outline is like a map that keeps you from wandering into the unknown wilderness of “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

There are different ways but this is how I make the most simple outline for my essay

Introduction: This is where you grab your reader's attention. Start with a hook—something that piques curiosity or makes them think. A quote, a question, or even a joke (that’s relevant, of course).

Body Paragraphs: These are the meat of your essay. Each paragraph should cover one main idea. Start with a topic sentence, support it with evidence, and wrap it up with an analysis. Rinse and repeat.

Conclusion: Time to bring it all home! Restate your main points, tie everything together, and leave your reader with something to think about. And please, for the love of all things good, don’t just copy-paste your introduction.

Step 4: Write the First Draft (Embrace Imperfection)

Now, it's time to write! Don’t worry about making it perfect just yet. The goal is to get your thoughts down on paper. You can always clean it up later.

Here are a few tips:

Write freely. Don’t censor yourself—let your ideas flow.

Use transition words like "however," "for example," and "in conclusion" to connect your ideas smoothly.

Don’t obsess over grammar and spelling in the first draft. You’ll have time for that later.

Now once you're done writing drafts think of some title ideas related to the topic of your essay. Remember a catchy title is necessary as it serves the first impression of your write up. ( Some of you may do this before starting your essay and i really admire you for that becoz for me thinking title take hours )

Step 5: Edit Like You’re a Grammar Ninja

Once you’ve got your first draft, it’s time to put on your editing hat. You know, the one with the sharp sword of logic and the shield of perfect grammar.

Check for clarity. Does everything make sense? Is your argument easy to follow?

Grammar and punctuation: This is where you get to play the detective. Look for missing commas, awkward sentences, and spelling errors. Use apps or Google to check your grammar

Step 6: Polish and Submit (The Final Touches)

Now that you've edited your masterpiece, it's time for the final touches. Ensure your essay follows the required format and citation style (MLA, APA, Chicago—pick your poison).

Take one last look at your essay:

Are your paragraphs well-organized?

Is your argument clear?

Is your spelling flawless?

Congratulations! You've now survived the essay-writing process and emerged victorious.Keep practicing, and soon, you'll be an essay-writing pro—no sweat, no tears, just a few cups of coffee and maybe a well-timed joke.

Good luck, and happy writing!

Visit this link to see my essay and other writeups on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/gkyoyuki.nona?igsh=Mzhxa2c5ZjNpY2kx

#how to write #essay #essay writing #english literature #writing tips

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your-queer-dad · 4 months ago

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Hey dad,

I'm sorry to spread negativity like this but I need someone to vent to who doesn't know me so they won't feel as bad about it, I hope this is okay.

I started playing Baldur's Gate 3 a bit ago and I love it! It's awesome and it makes me so happy, I hadn't enjoyed a video game to this extent in literal years! It's shocking really. However, it came with an issue.

Astarion is a lot like me in many ways, especially with his empty words of flattery, I've been a huge playboy in the past, before my current partner came along, and I loved flattering people with flowery words, and now that I have a ring on my finger all these loving words go towards my partner of course, with much more meaning to them... The issue is, he made me realise what I could be.

I had fangirls online, I had people wanting my attention every day, it's all gone now, of my own choice partly, but I know the only reason I was so wanted online was that I was damn good at hiding that I was trans. I was the pretty boy, the only cis male fanartist in the fandom, and I knew some really good framing tricks for pictures to ensure no one would see how my binder never quite flattened my chest or how my chin didn't exactly have the manliest jawline. I was pre T as well and yet... I felt like more of a man than I do now.

I have never had the option to identify with a trans man character, I've never seen one in media that wasn't simply a headcanon, and every time I see a beautiful cis man with similar traits to me I think... Well, why ISN'T that me? Why can't I look this way?

I don't think any amount of surgeries and therapy will ever fix that my goal isn't to be a fully transitioned trans guy, it's to be cis, and no matter how hard I try I will never reach my goals. Isn't it a life wasted if it's spent chasing some impossible standard?

I am very glad most trans people, as far as I know, don't seem to feel this way.

I wish the best on anyone who reads this, and if you are trans and feel this way don't be discouraged, perhaps medical transition really will help alleviate these feelings, you can't know until you give it a shot.

And thank you for the space you provide, dad, it's incredibly helpful to all of us, I'm sure, I know I'm grateful for it.

ps: I understand that I may sound full of myself in this confession, I come across as having a huge ego a lot, and I don't have an issue with people disliking me for it, it's okay if you find me insufferable because of this, I promise it won't make you a bad person.

Hey kiddo, I don't think you're insufferable at all kid. That sounds like a huge mix of emotions- and that's okay, emotions are never straight forward. But I don't think you've wasted your life wanting something. It's okay to want something you can't achieve- it's human. It's normal. And it doesn't discount the achievements you've already made.

- dad x

#lgbt #lgbtq #finch rambles #ask a finch!#trans #transgender

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wickmitz · 2 months ago

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lo and behold, here’s my sexuality list for some of the lackadaisy characters! i am well aware most of these aren’t canon and that i’m being a little ‘too fruity’ with it, though that’s alright! these are just my opinions and, frankly, i don’t want nor need them to be canon in any way -- they are just aspects added to the characters mostly for my enjoyment. some of these are subjected to change ( due to a variety of reasons ) and some of these i may consider ‘canon’ in the sense that i read the characters with these headcanons in mind. i could also write an essay on some of the hcs listed here, but for the sake of simplicity i kept them as brief as i could … but without further ado, lets get on with it! :

rocky : he’s rather confusing, sexuality wise. tentatively would say he’s bisexual to some degree given how little someone’s gender matters to him, and that he also falls under the asexual umbrella ; being either demisexual or greysexual perhaps! he mostly just yearns to be loved and to serve as an invaluable object in someone’s life, taking his devotion to the extremes even if it’s unasked of him to do so. i don’t think he actually thinks about romance and any of his romantic feelings for people are more so vague and metaphorical … while he wouldn’t turn down a relationship, especially with someone he ‘desires’, i don’t necessarily think that’s his goal either. rocky is too easily caught up in outside factors to function normally in a traditional romantic sense, and any such activities that come with dating is the furthest thing from his mind. he likes being someone’s number one, their one and only, the most important force in their life … but if he can achieve that without romance, then he’ll be fine with that too. rocky will die for his crush ten times over but is rather okay with never getting to kiss even their hand. he’s an enigma!

freckle : transgirl and she’s too nervous to figure out the rest of her identity as it stands, though would probably be best described as demisexual. might have a phase where she adopts the lesbian label due to a preference for women only to find out she’s still attracted to men … swears off labels after this due to embarrassment! overall, freckle’s whole thing is about exploring her gender identity more than anything else ; finding a skin that’s actually comfortable for her to wear and easing some of that inner turmoil and anger inside of her. wiggling into something that feels freeing rather than being eternally tied down by her mother’s intense catholic views. ivy helps freckle out a ton too, making for a great mentor when it comes to embracing femininity and enjoying the girlish birthright of crushing on stupid boys, and speaking of ivy …

ivy : heteroflexible plain and simple! is primarily interested in men while showing little to no attraction towards girls, and wouldn’t have ever dated one had it not been for freckle transitioning. she staunchly refused to break up with freckle after, and decided ( rather brazenly ) that she’s got a girlfriend now and that’s really cool actually!! plus she now has a loophole to present to viktor so he doesn’t try to kill her paramor. love wins <3

viktor : straight. he is not sexually nor romantically into men, sadly. has mostly sworn off love in general though, so he doesn’t think about this stuff as it stands ; and he’s kinda behind on all these terms anyway. but despite this, he wouldn’t be opposed to being life partners ( or being in a qpr ) with a man if things fell that way. see my mini essay on vikdecai for additional info on that!

mordecai : transman, homoromantic(?), and asexual … mordecai keeps all of this under lock and key, with the only people knowing about his trans identity being atlas, mitzi, and viktor ( who all found out through various means ) -- though serafine and nico also heavily suspect it themselves. he’s more oblivious to his homoromantic inclinations though, as well as his asexuality to an extent. will typically dismiss his repulsion towards touch as something else he’s just being ‘neurotic’ about, rather than holding any real significance. the reason for the question mark near homoromantic is simply due to the fact i could see mordecai still being interested in women! so i sort of flip between homosexual labels and demiromantic labels for him. but he definitely, and without a doubt, has a heavy male preference regardless!

mitzi : straight and polyamorous … kind of. she’s experimented with women before ( on the road, most notably ) and has no qualms about being with them sexually or doing minor romantic acts with them either. she’s just never been particularly attached to them the way she is with men, hence her more serious relationships being exclusively with the opposite gender. still, she’s more casual and loose with her sexuality than most are, and is more than willing to be with a girl if it suits her needs or makes her happy. might become bisexual down the line after meeting women that fit her type, or she might always be straight with a few ‘exceptions’ … being kind of heteroflexible in that regard! and as for her polyamory, while she enjoys that lifestyle and could commit to it again, she much prefers monogamy now, usually. see my mitzi’s type post for more info on all of that!

zib : oh boy. i don’t think zib cares for labels and prefers being an unlabeled mess of a thing ( calling himself and resonating with ‘queer’ is as far as he’ll probably ever go ) but to make this simple, he’s sort of a … bisexual, genderqueer, demiromantic, and polyamorous cocktail. and even those labels are almost too restricting for zib, who’s rather unashamed and free where it concerns existing as his disastrous self. he likes men, he likes women, he likes people who aren’t men or women, he likes people who are both … he’s a man, and sometimes a woman, or at the very least enjoys dressing like a woman … he likes casual and multiple partners … he struggles with more traditional romantic commitment but wants it nonetheless … etc, etc. he’s sort of everywhere! views life through a simplistic lense of ‘if i like it, then i like it’ and doesn’t bother with it further.

wick : a man who is straight by design and default, since his type is as standard as it can get … aka being primarily interested in curvy women who are extremely feminine. he still likes all manner of women though! but he’s not really into men really, even if he’s extremely open minded about lgbtq+ overall and almost wishes he could have a queer experience of some kind. if only because everyone around him thinks he’s gay or has assumed it at some point in time. though there is some wiggle room despite this! wick could become romantically attracted to a man, i think, if certain things aligned -- but will never be attracted to them in a standard sexual manner. it’s too complicated for me to thoroughly explain here ( and @churchwick is more qualified to talk about this than me anyway, as the wick expert ) yet i do think wick could fancy himself an exception or two. he’d be rather awkward about the whole thing though </3

serafine : lesbian who barely ever bothers with men and isn’t shy about showing off her lady-type preference. she also has some gender stuff going on, occasionally embracing he/him pronouns alongside her feminine ones whenever she so pleases. operates on very hedonistic grounds too, constantly adorning herself with pretty girls until her arms are full and keeping her furniture warm, since she sleeps better that way if nico is unavailable. enjoys taking in girls who are ‘blind’ and need to be shown the truth … likes offering them a better life within her cult and by her side. although it’s worth noting that serafine is rather casual with her conquests and hardly ever takes on a permanent and more personal ‘lover’, but she’s semi open to the idea of it regardless. she is merely going through life and enjoying wherever it leads her, after all.

nico : i’ll be honest, i have no clue! i do not think about nico enough to have an opinion on his orientation, but it felt wrong to seperate the savoy siblings, so here he is anyway. he’s certainly cisgender and is extremely comfortable with being a man. and, like his sister, he’s more prone to casual arrangements rather than actual dating. i could see him being pansexual perhaps! i don’t think he cares for gender much, and will go for anyone who is ‘hot’ enough or ‘interesting’ enough if that makes sense. he’s a little shallow about it! but again, those are just my rather quick thoughts on the matter. i seriously need to think more about nico sometime, whoops.

lacy : extremely repressed bisexual! she is rather inexperienced with dating in general, having been strictly study focused in school and now that she finds herself as wick’s secretary, she still has little room left for a love life. her entire schedule is mostly just wick, wick, wick, and wick … keeping sable stone & quarry afloat business wise while also tending to her employer’s personal health and safety as well. such a busy life ( on top of tennis and the occasional lunch with friends ) has her rather closed off to meeting men or being courted by them, with her crush on wick being no help in this regard either! she is rather content with his company and has made little effort to seek out new men to converse with, or engage with women in a flirtatious manner. but eventually she’ll have a rather violent bisexual awakening that sends her reeling and leaves her confused, a little caught up in the almost teenage throes of envy, admiration, and hate towards the women she’s attracted to. over time she’ll get over herself and her perpetually reserved demeanor enough to explore this side of her -- though it will come with many bumps along the road and won’t be as seamless of a transition for her as it would be for some people.

church : homosexual through and through. he’s unmarried and is taking great advantage of the pansy craze happening underground. engages in more casual relationships with the same rotation of men due to a.) not caring for romance and b.) also being keenly aware of the fact that there are plenty of people out there who would use this to ruin him, blackmail him, or worse. so to say he’s extremely careful and secretive about it all is almost an understatement. hasn’t ever required a beard due to his disdainfully bored personality … but not having a wife to feign care towards leaves him with ample room to explore and carry himself as he pleases behind closed doors. if anyone knows the ins and outs of some queer scenes in st. louis, it’s him, surprisingly. and he’s rather tight lipped about the whole thing.

atlas : like the man himself, nobody knows, not even me! he definitely loved mitzi, though whether or not he was equally into men is a mystery.

so tada! those were my very brief and incoherent notes on the lackadaisy crew and what’s going on with them, sexuality and gender wise! i originally planned to discuss other characters here as well, like asa, the arbogasts, ruby, virgil, etc … basically anyone else i could think of, or whoever else that was listed on the lackadaisy characters page that i hadn’t covered yet. although to be frank, i don’t have many thoughts on those characters where it concerns their orientations! so i left them alone for now. maybe one day i’ll update this or make a part two -- who knows! though i’m more than content with this being my list for now haha

#my posts.#don’t really have much to say in the tags surprisingly!#besides like … *points at the sign* these are just my opinions!! you can have your own or disagree!! thats 100% fine #these are just how i normally see the characters and how i normally write them or analyze them y’know #some are goofy silly with NO canonical merit and some are basically canon with some added flair #but uh. yeah <3 #we have fun here sir and yes i have WAY too many thoughts and opinions on this subject sorry #its just me and my sometimes elaborate sexuality hcs for cats against the world …#anyway now im off to do my actual work now. rip.

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nostalgicamerica · 9 months ago

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My Weight-Loss Journey

Over the last three decades, despite a relatively active lifestyle, my weight has steadily increased a pound or two per year. I could see it was becoming a problem every morning in my foggy bathroom mirror.

I finally realized that I had to do something about it last fall when I walked out onto my porch one morning. The neighbor's kitten came over to say good morning and got caught up in my gravitational field and went into orbit around my waistline.

It was then I started looking into different diets. Keto, Caveman, high fat, low carb, lima bean, Atkins. Holy crap! The number of different diet choices were staggering. Greater still were the numbers of dieticians and nutritionists shrieking that this diet is best and only a booger-eater would choose that diet.

After a bit of cogitation, I started researching the Carnivore diet.

It sounded right up my alley: eating nothing but meat, cheese, eggs, and dairy products, and drinking water. And I could eat bacon. Basically, I could eat anything that is animal-based.

The bacon thing sold it for me.

The week before Thanksgiving 2023 I started my new diet plan. You might think that dieting during the holidays wasn't a grand idea, and you'd be right. Eating nothing but meat while watching my family chowing down on traditional holiday meals (turkey and all the fixings for Thanksgiving, and ham and all the fixings for Christmas) and stuffing their faces with cookies and candy and pie and everything else associated with the holidays was as much fun as stuffing a cactus up my rectum.

But I stuck to it.

To this point in my life I had never been disciplined about anything related to food, but somewhere along the way I found the strength to keep anything not indicated by the diet out of my pie hole. (except coffee - I'll be cold, dead, and buried before I stop drinking coffee.)

And the weight came off. 3,4,5 pounds a week. It seemed to literally melting off me. My initial goal was 50 pounds by the end of February and then I'd transition to something more sustainable.

It wasn't easy, at times, especially during the first 2 or 3 weeks. I bought some bite-size sugar free candy to take the edge off for the times when I was jonesing for sugar. And I ate a ton of bacon.

By Christmas Eve I had lost 20.5 pounds. By January's close I had dropped 34 pounds. On January 8th, 2024 I got out of the shower and looked down and saw my penis without a mirror for the first time since about 2003. Also, I could see a six-pack peeking from behind what remains of my belly fat. As of this writing I'm down 39 Pounds. I have a few more days to go, but I don't think I will hit 50. But that's okay.

On March 1st I will start introducing fruits and veggies and whole grains to my diet. I intend to stay away from cane sugar and continue drinking only water.

There have been some negatives along the way. 1. I now abhor the sight of steak. 2. My dog won't stop licking my legs. 3. I have had to go out and buy essentially a new wardrobe.

What I've learned - coupled with portion control - is that 90% of weight loss happens in the kitchen, and the plain fact that bacon makes everything better.

Even though I didn't meet my first goal of 50, I intend to keep going until I've met my ultimate goal of 60. I know I can do it by the end of this year.

I don't know if this will work for everyone; I only relate what I did and what happened. Overall I feel great, I am sleeping great, and my spousal unit says I look better than I have since the beginning of the Clinton administration, although she wants to buy a new car so she may be playing me...

There is enough info about the carnivore diet on the interweb-thingee so I won't add anything else except to say if I can do it, anyone can.

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maximilliansblog · 1 year ago

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Trans people! We need to give ourselves clear transition goals! /nf

Because for the past few years that I've been transitioning, I've just said that i want an androgynous look. But what does that actually look like?

See, i'm genderfluid, and i would like to have a flexible look that can change with my gender representation. I would love to just be Bram from Scooby Doo Music of the Vampire (good job if you remember that movie, much less this guy) when I'm masc. Here I'll find a picture of him.

This guy right here. There were like no pictures of him online lol. But this would be a very unrealistic transition goal for several reasons. One: He is like 6 feet tall and I am 5'3". Two: He is skinnier/more well-toned than me. Three: He has this very gothy vampirey look (If you want to know more, he was basically in some kind of acting troupe that did vampire stuff but then he wanted to become an actual vampire so he became a bad guy and kidnapped Daphne as a sacrifice. It didn't work. Sorry for the infodump I literally pretended to be this character so much when I was a kid lol) that I would not be putting on every day, and even if I did, that would not look normal!

So what would be a reasonable transition goal? We should have a clear picture of what we want. There's tons of pictures of people on the internet, so we'll find one. But you have to consider a few things.

1.) Your height (You can only change this by an inch or two with those things you put in your shoes).

2.) Your weight (You can change this, but it takes a lot of hard work. I would recommend making your transition goal just how you are currently, but if your outwards expression matched your internal gender).

3.) Your face shape

4.) Your hair type (I really wanted to be one of those "fluffy haired" boys/enbies from Pinterest, but my hair falls flat on my head and has no texture! I tried to get that hair for over a year, but in the end, I couldn't change my hair type!)

5.) Your skintone

6.) Your muscle tone (You can also change this but like I said with the weight, you want to make your transition goal as achieveable as possible! You can always tone up once you reach that goal).

7.) Your personal clothing style

8.) Oh yeah most importantly, will your outward appearance be masculine, feminine, or androgynous (this can be genderless or a mix of feminine and masculine traits)? It is perfectly okay if you want to go for a look that is not traditional! Like if you're a trans man who wants to dress more feminine or something. That's totally fine!

All of these things must be considered when you find your references. I'm calling these pictures "references", like what artists use to make their art piece.

So for my references, I have to consider that I am 5'3", overweight but not quite plus-sized, I have a round face shape, a very fine and flat hair type, a cool-toned pale skintone, no muscle tone, a casual clothing style, and I want a masculine-leaning androgynous appearance. It would be very hard to find a reference with every single one of these traits! So collect multiple! Find one for your haircut that you're going to get, one for the clothes you will wear, etc. You can also edit images to look more like you, by darkening the skin tone (I don't recommend doing the opposite ^^) or slightly changing the face shape. It is also good to find pictures of fellow trans people with your traits as inspiration.

Here are the images that I found:

I narrowed it down to hair, body type, and fashion, but you can have as many references as you want!

Now of course, you won't look exactly like your references! In the end, you are you! Every person is unique. But hopefully, having a clear transition goal will help you in your journey :)

Have a lovely day you lovely person!

#trans #trans tips #transmasc #transfem #transgender #trans man #trans guy #trans masc #trans fem #trans woman #transgirl #trans pride #transition goals #maximilliansblogstuff

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pygmi-cygni · 4 months ago

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idk if this counts as a request, but I loved your post on starting, and I was wondering if you had any advice for one step before a writing session (i.e., going from the staring-at-the-wall phase to sitting down in front of some sort of screen and opening the right document). It sounds silly, but that's where I'm at right now; I've figured out how to handle a blank page most of the time, once I'm there, but I'm having trouble getting to that point. Is this something you deal with, and if so, do you have any tips for handling it?

i'm gonna assume you mean the like outlining/drafting stage? like not 'writing' the story but just like making scene outlines and stuff? that's what I'll answer but if it's wrong pls send me a follow up and i'll fix it lmao

outlining is a very person-to-person thing because it fits the story and the style and the blah de blah de blah.

but...here are some basic templates you could build off of and make your own.

the 3 act outline. divide your story into 3 'acts'.

Act 1: set-up and exposition - in the Hobbit, for example, this act would be like the arrival of the dwarves, the setup of the journey, and the beginning of the journey.

This act looks different for every story. you can pick where this act ends, but it usually transitions into the second act right before a point of major conflict or the beginning of rising tension. this act includes the inciting incident and the first 'turning point'.

Act 2: confrontation - the beginning of the intense stuff. In the Hunger Games, this would look like the beginning of the Games, where Katniss is first realizing how dangerous it is, maybe the first time she gets seriously injured. it ends with the 'darkest moment', when the characters feel all is lost and they need a win.

Act 3: resolution - The final act contains the climax, the plot twist, and the fallout. it's the final battle, then any last obstructions to peace, and then the clean-up of everybody going home, wounds being bandaged, the end yayyy.

Personally, I think 3 acts is too vague, so I do 7 acts, which is basically 3 acts divided into two (plus one) to narrow down the different phases. You can absolutely mix it up depending on the story; really big intense stories might benefit from more detailed outlining just to keep the facts straight, whereas smaller stories might not need it.

play around, find what works. if you hate an outlining process, don't use it. don't butcher your story to fit it, just find something that works.

Here are some other misc tips for setting up a writing space:

keep a fact sheet handy. just basic things to remember, if you have a hard time with remembering setting locations (me cough cough) draw up a lil map to keep it straight.

a goal checklist for the part/chapter. write out generally where you want the story to go in that place, and some need-to-happen things. this can help for writer's block, if you don't know what to write next.

remember it's okay to write out of order. make a separate document for things that you liked but don't necessarily have a 'place' in the story yet. keep it on a back tab and if you realize 'oh that piece of dialogue would be great here' do an ol' copy paste and ta daaa

I hope this answered your question and helped out anyone else who needed this! if it didn't please message me again (no hard feelings my skull is thicker than Oscar's ass) and I will write a follow up!

xox love ya

#writing advice #anon ask #fic writing #writing tips #writing help #writer #drafting

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princess-of-the-corner · 4 months ago

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FNaF AU Pizzeria Simulator Redux Part 1

Okay so, since I sent my first submission a year or two ago, I’ve had some different ideas on how this would work mechanically.

So like, held-over from the original post are the “mode-transition” screens. You get the 6:00 alarm (FNaF 4 style, rather than FNaF 1-3 style) when transitioning to Blueprint Mode, an “Open” Neon Sign blinking on when transitioning from Blueprint Mode to Office Mode, and “Closing time” Pizza Sim-style when transitioning from the Office to Charlie’s house at 10 PM.

Blueprint Mode is hosted by Helpy, who provides a quick tour of the features. It basically works like blueprint mode in Pizza Sim, but with one major difference: How new catalogs are unlocked.

The game is divided into five cases, each one named after one of the MCI victims. Each of Pizzasim’s four catalogs also now carries one of the Withered Animatronics.

Dumpster Diver Daily carries Withered Chica.

Stan’s Budget Tech carries Withered Bonnie.

Smiles and Servos, Inc carries Withered Freddy.

Rare Finds Auction carries Withered Foxy.

The goal of each “Case” is to purchase the Withered Animatronic from that catalog and salvage them in Charlie’s home.

The exception is Case 5: Mike Brooks, as Withered Fredbear has to be “summoned” by playing minigames in Blueprint mode, similar to how the lorekeeper ending is unlocked in canon.

Additionally, due to the Rockstars being removed: Orville Elephant, El Chip, and Music Man would be relocated to Smiles and Servos, Inc, with only Funtime Chica remaining in the Rare Finds Auction (being the only animatronic in the game to be more expensive than the Target Animatronic). Why are they for sale in catalogs instead of Charlie’s possession? Fazbear Entertainment auctioned them off before Charlie could help the spirits inside them move on, forcing her to open the new, rebooted franchise ahead of schedule so she can raise the money needed to purchase the haunted animatronics before someone gets hurt.

In the first day of a case, Jimothy Deacon will call Charlie to comment on whatever Toy Animatronic she just constructed. The exception is on Day 1 of Case 1, wherein he instead walks her through all of the features of her office. Instead of looking at a camera monitor, Charlie has access to a Kitchen Monitor (wherein she can put toppings on a pizza depending on the orders that come in from the front), a Maintenance Monitor (wherein she can repair/reboot any attractions/games/animatronics that break down over the course of her day), and a global music box (wherein she can change the music if the customers don’t like it).

There’s also a monitor for ordering more food and drinks whenever Charlie runs out.

Mike Brooks/Golden Freddy can disable a monitor, forcing Charlie to restart it to continue working.

After “Closing Time” the results screen pops up like in Regular Pizza Sim, with Lawsuits working just like in canon. Charlie can choose to settle or dispute them. A disputed suit might linger into the following day, and having 10 or more outstanding lawsuits stockpiled at once will result in the City Council shutting down the pizzeria and Blacklisting Charlie (thus how you get the Blacklisted Ending when the tycoon mode is technically endless).

After the results screen, Charlie is sent home, where you can use VHS tapes to rewatch the opening cutscene and/or any endings you have Certificates for, read important lore documents, Salvage an Animatronic, or go to bed.

Whenever an animatronic is salvaged, you get an eerie cutscene of the child haunting the animatronic explains how they died, followed by a triumphant pop-up declaring that you unlocked the “Toy” version of that Animatronic (using parts salvaged from the Withered Animatronic), followed by ghostly eyes appearing in the darkness, with the following message:

“But you’ve released something into your pizzeria.”

Releasing a spirit from the animatronic causes them to hang around Charlie and follow her to work, where they can join Mike Brooks in messing with her monitors (granted, each spirit can only target one).

Lmao I’m glad you remembered Phone Guy’s name in the au.

But also fascinating additions!

#submission #fnaf au #tw fnaf

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