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[xyywrites]

How to write believable enemies-to-lovers dynamics.

Enemies-to-lovers is a beloved trope, but it’s also tricky to execute. The transformation from animosity to love needs to feel organic, not forced. 

1. Establish the Initial Conflict

Give your characters a solid, believable reason to dislike each other. It could be ideological differences, personal betrayal, or clashing goals. The conflict must be significant enough to justify their animosity.

“You stole my promotion. Do you have any idea how hard I worked for it?” “You mean the one you weren’t qualified for? Grow up, Lena.”

2. Show the Nuance in Their Dislike

Enemies don’t always have to hate each other completely. Maybe they grudgingly respect one another’s skills or admire each other’s dedication, even if it drives them crazy.

“For someone so insufferable, you sure know how to shoot straight.” “And for someone so arrogant, you’re surprisingly not dead yet.”

“She’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met.” “And yet you can’t stop watching her, can you?”

3. Create Forced Proximity

Give them a reason to spend time together despite their dislike. Forced proximity allows them to see past their assumptions and grow closer.

“If we don’t get this presentation done by morning, we’re both fired. So, shut up and start typing.” “Only if you stop chewing on that pen. It’s distracting.”

“You’re bleeding.” “Yeah, and whose fault is that?” “Mine, obviously. Now sit down so I can patch you up.”

4. Allow Their Views to Shift Gradually

The transition from enemies to lovers isn’t instant. Let them experience small moments of vulnerability, trust, or understanding that slowly chip away at their hostility.

“You think I wanted this? That I enjoy being the bad guy?” “I didn’t think you cared.” “Well, maybe I do.”

“You fight so hard for your people.” “You do too. I guess we’re not so different after all.”

5. Use Banter to Build Chemistry

Snarky, sharp dialogue is the lifeblood of enemies-to-lovers. Their verbal sparring should reveal their personalities, highlight their tension, and hint at deeper feelings.

“Careful, you almost sounded like you cared about me for a second.” “Don’t flatter yourself. I care about not dying, and you happen to be useful.”

“If you were half as smart as you think you are—” “I’d still be twice as smart as you.”

6. Show the Cost of Falling for Each Other

Enemies-to-lovers works best when there are stakes. Their relationship should challenge their beliefs, goals, or loyalties, forcing them to make difficult choices.

“If I help you, I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for.” “Then why are you still standing here?”

7. Add a “Breaking Point”

There should be a moment where their growing feelings clash with their existing animosity, leading to explosive tension.

“You lied to me!” “What did you expect? You’re the enemy!” “Not anymore. Or at least, I thought I wasn’t.”

“Why do you care what happens to me?” “Because I can’t stand the thought of losing you, okay? Happy now?”

8. Use Physicality Subtly

Small gestures can reveal their shifting feelings—hesitant touches, lingering glances, or protective instincts.

“Watch out!” He shoved her out of the way, taking the brunt of the explosion. “You idiot. You could’ve been killed.” “Yeah, but you’re okay.”

She caught him staring at her, his usual scowl softened. He looked away quickly, muttering something under his breath.

9. Build Toward a Satisfying Payoff

Enemies-to-lovers works because of the build-up. Don’t rush the resolution. Let their relationship evolve naturally before culminating in a moment that feels earned.

“I don’t want to fight you anymore.” “Neither do I.” “Then come here.”

10. Maintain Their Individuality

Their love shouldn’t erase who they are. They’re still the same people who clashed in the beginning, but now they’ve grown to understand each other.

“I’m still not letting you win.” “Good. I’d be worried if you did.”

“You’re still annoying.” “And you’re still impossible. But I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

[the-tarot-witch22]

What's coming for you in love in 2025? - Pick a Pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

My Paid Readings | My insta | My year goal post

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you - 10 of pentacles, knight of pentacles, 9 of wands and the fool)

Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is, "patience" I feel your love life has been stagnant or stuck for quite a while, or you just don't feel like the need to have someone in your life, you are doing things but for your own, and maybe a part of you deep down wishes for the love the craving, soul shattering style. I am feeling this year will bring you luck in your love life, Like you will be meeting someone around the mid year to next year, But what I am feeling is your person, is taking his time, since he has lots going on , nothing to worry about but is like a bit of stress going on in their life, and you as well you need to go through some transitions before you actually come across them. Their energy is very masculine or well balanced. I am also feeling that it will happen when you let go of expectation and embrace the unknown, take the risk, not just stay in your safe cocoon. I am also feeling the person coming is quite something. He is patient, not that romantic in a way, but his actions will prove otherwise, the small little things or big things you will do for you, but for many of you I am seeing you might meet your person this year, and for some of you I am seeing lots of self love and growth, the song i keep channeling is "flowers" by Miley Cyrus , like even though you crave it you are not as desperate for it. "I can buy myself flowers", "talking to myself for hours, say things you don't understand", you got the gist hmm, and this is also very beautiful it proves, that you have the right energy, but do open your heart, take risks, go out, do stuff for yourself, and very unexpectedly you will meet you person.

The zodiac signs i feel prominent in this group are aquarius, earth signs and fire signs especially sagittarius/leo (sun/moon/rising).

Pile 2:

(The cards I got for you - 2 of cups, 3 of pentacles, and 8 of wands)

Okay so the very first thing I feel and heard is, you're definitely gonna encounter someone this year, it's like a divine connection that I am seeing is coming towards you, I am also seeing the connection between you both, is gonna get develop into something more and quickly very soon, the attraction you both feel will be very much mutual, like you both know and realize what you want and its you both, the feelings are so mutual and pure, for some of you I feel you already know who your future spouse is, so I am feeling you might get close to them. or if not then there is just they are more on your thoughts or dreams and EVEN if you don't meet them it will be like your soul recognize it and it will happen very soon for you both. I am also feeling you both might have met at work, education, travel,, or a group kind of project, or shared interest, and if not you might meet there. I am also feeling you will learn a lot, from this experience, or from them it's not a superficial kind of love it's a love and feeling that is very deep. I am also hearing that is meant to be! I am also feeling that this connection is soulmate connection and you share something deep! I am also feeling from seeing the cards that this union is gonna be life changing and it will change your perception of love and how you see it.

The zodiac signs i feel prominent in this group are scorpio, cancer, pisces, virgo and fire signs especially sagittarius and aries. (sun/moon/rising).

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you - 9 of wands, the sun, king of swords and the 3 of cups)

Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is that you guys are SUPER independent, like yeah I can do that i don't need no one type of thing. You might have been a real people pleaser, but I am seeing you are trying to over come it and you also stand up for yourself which is very good thing, and in relationships i feel you haven't had much luck and many of you didn't even had boyfriend or this, but this just means god has some special plans for you. I am also feeling you can't tolerate bullshit of others, you are not the person to stay if someone is being intolerable. And that's a good thing. I am also seeing that you guys have CHANGED IN PAST FEW YEARS which is a good thing for you. Okay, I also got the message that some of you here might had one or two relationships but not serious, many of you don't even know what love is like (not saying that's a bad thing) just typing out the things I channel. So, now let's dive deeper, I am also feeling that this year particularly will bring a change in your life which will be TURNING YOUR LIFE UPSIDE down, maybe you realize who is your person, there will be signs, SO i am seeing and feeling that you don't ignore them at ALL. you will be seeing lots of 11:11, 222 and 444 but also feathers and butterflies. I am also feeling that the change will be so full of happiness, you might not even see it coming in a way. After all, universe has a plan and works in mysterious ways. I am also feeling that in love there is someone coming towards the end of the year mostly fall or in October, I am also feeling the person will be very intelligent and confident, they are like a life of party. I am also feeling when you come across them, you might be celebrating something like you got A job, you passed your exams, you launched your business. They are also very intellectual, and it's gonna transform your life in a very good way.

The prominent zodiac signs are - fire signs and air signs, sun/moon/rising.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[bioethicists]

Psych Abolition Chat Sessions- Fall 2024

As many of you know, I have been hosting Zoom meetings for psych abolitionists or interested parties to come together, chat, collaborate, etc since the beginning of this summer. Over the last several weeks, those chats have taken the form of informational sessions regarding harm reduction on various topics. I have been so delighted to be able to share my thoughts about these issues with you all, but I'm equally excited to transition back into a more collaborative format for the next set of sessions.

Given my capacity for the semester, my goal is to hold chats similar to the first set of sessions: open spaces to discuss psych abolition + provide community for abolitionists, as well as inspiring collaborative work amongst us all. While people are encouraged to come + contribute, 'lurking' (aka camera off, no speaking) is also encouraged! Any way that you want to show up is okay- we regularly have people attend who do not engage at all, or only engage in the chat. Chat messages are read aloud by me to ensure that chat participants feel equally included in the group.

A reminder to anyone who wants to attend that under no circumstances may anyone contact the authorities as a result of anything spoken about during the Zoom. Free discussion of self-injury + suicidality + substance use are expected without fear of being “crisis” intervened upon. That being said, the goal of these chats is not necessarily to be a support group but more to talk about psychiatric abolition, build community, + increase knowledge.

The sessions will take place as follows

Completed!

Also, if you would like to join the Madness + Liberation forum where we discuss psychiatric abolition at greater length, please feel free to fill out my Google Form here.

Those of you who need a dial-in number, please message me on Tumblr or send an anon + I will provide it.

For those of you interested in reading about some of our past chats, check out the links below!

Pilot Cycle [July 1 2024-July 29 2024] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Harm Reduction Cycle [Aug 19 2024-Sep 28 2024]

(img src)

[hummingbird24220]

Can I request Sanji and reader having a competition about who is more flexible but nobody (including Sanji) is normal about it at all? <3

(Also Neko reader was totally right about taking panties out of the equation lol)

Hello. Yes. Yes you can. I love Sanji bbyboi

I had a lot of fun writing this - don't worry if you cant understand the stretches completely, i cant either.

Enjoy!

Stretch Goals

One Piece x Reader (Technically more Sanji x Reader)

You were bored. Like, “make questionable life choices just to spice things up” bored.

Which is how you ended up perched on the rail of the Thousand Sunny’s deck doing a full split while eating an apple and trying to spark a reaction out of literally anyone walking by.

And it worked—because you made eye contact with Sanji, who froze mid-step, dropped his tray of freshly cut vegetables, and blinked like he just saw God herself do the splits on his kitchen counter.

“Mon dieu…”

You grinned. “You like that?”

His mouth opened. No words. Just vibes. Questionable, chaotic vibes.

“…Are you mocking me?” he finally blurted, flustered and weirdly competitive for someone blushing that hard.

You snorted. “No. Just showing off. Bet I’m more flexible than you.”

Oh. Oh no. That did it.

His eye twitched. A storm of sparkles exploded behind him. “You dare challenge the flexibility of me—Sanji, whose high kicks are more glorious than sunrise on All Blue?!”

“Okay but can you high-kick while in a backbend?”

His jaw dropped. You smirked harder. Around you, several crewmates were beginning to drift closer, drawn in like flies to extremely unhinged honey.

Zoro passed by, caught half a sentence, and immediately turned around. “Nope. I’m not getting pulled into whatever weird mating ritual this is.”

Usopp poked his head out of the workshop. “Did someone say mating ritual??”

“NO,” Sanji and you shouted in unison—before immediately going back to your Flex-Off.

“I’m serious,” you teased, rolling back into a bridge position. “I can out-bend you any day.”

Sanji’s eyes narrowed. He pulled off his jacket with a dramatic flick. “That’s it. Flexibility duel. Right here. Right now.”

You blinked. “…Is that a thing?”

“It is now.”

Chopper trotted up with an enthusiastic, “I’ll be the judge!!” Robin sipped her tea from a deck chair. “This should be... enlightening.” Nami folded her arms, watching like someone about to witness a live trainwreck. “You two are so weird.”

“Ready, mon chéri?” Sanji purred, one leg already lifting above his head at a frankly dangerous angle.

You grinned, not even pretending to hide the sparkle of mischief in your eye. “Let’s bend.”

And thus began the most uncomfortably sensual, overly dramatic, completely unnecessary contest the Thousand Sunny had ever seen.

Sanji was in his element. His leg was straight in the air, toes pointed, shirt open, collar popped like he thought this was a modeling gig, not a flexibility duel. The sea breeze dramatically tousled his hair. The sparkle effect? Unexplainable. Possibly supernatural.

“I’ll start us off,” he said suavely, flipping into a handstand with unholy grace. He bent one leg, extended the other, and winked at you from upside down.

There was clapping. From himself.

“Oooohhh~!” Brook whistled from the upper deck, adjusting his violin. “Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we are witnessing… ballet in battle form.”

Usopp was crouched beside Chopper, scribbling on a notepad like a sports commentator. “Sanji’s opening with the Scissor Swan Split—classic. Good form. 8.5 in showmanship.”

“He blew me a kiss,” Chopper said, blushing and confused. “I don’t think that was for me.”

You popped your knuckles. “Alright, Leg Boy. My turn.”

Your hands hit the deck and you swung into a no-hands bridge, then smoothly transitioned into a standing pose by lifting one leg completely vertical up beside your head like gravity meant nothing.

Sanji choked on his cigarette.

“Are you okay?” you asked sweetly, balancing like a human compass.

“I—YOU—THAT—!!!” He slapped a hand over his nose like a nosebleed was a legitimate threat. “You can’t just do that in front of a man! I am barely holding onto life here!”

“Bro. You challenged me.”

Robin tilted her head, smirking behind her book. “This may be the only duel Sanji has ever regretted starting.”

“You’re welcome!” you called, now in a full split on top of the railing, arms lazily dangling over the side like a cat sunbathing in the middle of a fencing match.

Sanji started pacing like a man on trial for war crimes. “Okay. Okay. Time to bring out the secret weapon.”

You blinked. “You have a secret weapon?”

“Oh, yes.” His voice dropped a full octave. “Prepare yourself.”

And that’s when he jumped. Like a pirouetting demon, he launched into the air, spun, and landed perfectly in a full split. Shirt flying open. Arms extended. Head tilted back with the sun directly behind him.

If he had landed on a plate of roses, it wouldn’t have been out of place.

There was silence.

Then:

“…IS HE CRYING?” Usopp screeched. “Why is HE crying?! I want to cry! That was beautiful!”

Chopper fainted. Brook began composing a ballad.

Even Franky, who’d walked out for one second to grab a wrench, paused and muttered, “That’s… SUPER illegal.”

You clapped slowly. “Okay. That was good. Real good. But I hope you're ready—because I'm about to pull out my final move.”

Sanji gasped. “There’s more?!”

You locked eyes. “Oh yeah. The move I swore I’d never do again.”

Behind you, Nami groaned. “You two are going to break something. Possibly each other.”

Zoro stomped past, eyes shut. “If anyone asks, I wasn’t here.”

You smiled like a demon summoned from the depths of Cirque du Soleil. “Ready?”

Sanji held onto the railing. “Never. But do it anyway.”

You moved.

And the world would never be the same.

--

The deck was quiet. The kind of quiet that settles before an earthquake.

Sanji stood, legs trembling—not from the stretch, but from anticipation. Sweat glistened on his temple. He gripped the railing like it was the only thing anchoring him to reality.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I’m ready. Hit me with it.”

You nodded solemnly, shook out your limbs, and cracked your neck like an elite gymnast about to destroy the competition and probably a vertebrae.

Everyone leaned in.

And then—

You jumped.

A full backflip. Into a handstand. Into a one-arm arched handstand split where you hooked your foot around the ship’s mast while casually sipping the juice box you had pulled from your shirt.

“WHAT IN THE HELL—” Sanji screamed, hands on his head, spiraling. “THAT SHOULDN’T BE HOT. THAT SHOULDN’T EVEN BE LEGAL.”

“I call it,” you sipped, “the Juice Box Dropkick.”

Brook’s jaw literally dropped off. “I—I think I’m in love.”

Usopp slammed his notepad shut. “Nope. No score. I’m not scoring this. I don’t even understand this anymore.”

Chopper wheezed into a paper bag. “Y/N has joints like a snake. Like a stylish, flirty, unholy snake.”

You dismounted with a flourish, landing perfectly upright and striking a pose like this was Chippendales: Sunny Edition.

Sanji fell to his knees.

“I have been bested,” he gasped, clutching his chest. “I am destroyed. I am... aroused and defeated.”

Zoro stood nearby, face hidden behind his hand. “I’m leaving. I can’t be part of this crew anymore.”

“You were never part of this crew,” Sanji snapped, dramatically draped over the railing like a Victorian widow.

“I was here, and that was my first mistake.”

And then—

“Ohhhh is this a stretchy game?!” Luffy landed with a thud between you and Sanji, arms flinging out to the sides like a noodle possessed.

You both froze. Sanji recovered first.

“No. No. Absolutely not.”

“I WANNA TRY!” Luffy yelled, immediately contorting into something that looked vaguely like a starfish having a breakdown.

You blinked. “...Did his shoulder just rotate the wrong direction?”

“It’s fine! I’m rubber!” Luffy cackled, suddenly balancing on one toe while his other leg bent behind his head and slapped Zoro in the face.

Zoro punched him in the shin. “Get me out of this crew.”

“Wait, wait,” you said, cracking up. “I’ve got an idea.”

Sanji looked at you like you’d just suggested marriage and public execution at the same time. “You have another idea?”

“Team flexibility competition. Me and you… versus Luffy and Brook.”

There was a pause.

Brook raised his hand. “May I remind everyone that I have no muscles?”

“You also have no shame,” Sanji gritted out.

“Exactly,” Brook said cheerfully. “Let’s make this indecent!”

Nami facepalmed so hard she might’ve concussed herself. “I hate all of you.”

Robin didn’t even look up. “I’m just waiting for someone to pull something. Probably a groin.”

There was a crowd.

An audience.

At least six crewmates had snacks. Brook had his violin. Robin had summoned extra arms specifically to hold up numbered scorecards. Chopper stood off to the side, holding medical supplies and muttering, “Someone’s gonna tear a hamstring. Someone’s gonna cry.”

And in the middle of the chaos stood you and Sanji. Team "Unholy Tension."

Opposite you: Luffy and Brook. Team “What The Hell Is Going On.”

You cracked your knuckles. “Alright, Sanji. First move is the Double Pretzel Bind.”

Sanji blinked. “I—what?”

Too late.

You grabbed his arms and spun him like a dance partner, locking your legs around his waist and pulling him backward until your torsos were pressed flush, both of you bent at 90-degree angles, looking like a yin-yang symbol designed by horny gymnasts.

“OH SWEET MOTHER OF—”

Sanji’s soul physically left his body. You were 99% sure you saw it float upward.

“Relax,” you said innocently, shifting slightly. “You’re too stiff.”

Sanji made a strangled noise. “I AM TRYING.”

“Not hard enough,” you teased, your breath ghosting over his ear.

Behind you, Usopp was openly screaming. “THIS IS NOT A FAMILY-FRIENDLY SHOW. I REPEAT. ABANDON SHIP.”

Nami shoved popcorn in her mouth with a vengeance. “You could leave, Usopp.”

“I can’t. It’s like a train wreck. With abs.”

Meanwhile, Luffy had twisted his entire torso into a loop and was hula-hooping Brook. Like. Using Brook as a prop.

“I call this move the Skeleton Spiral!” he cheered.

“I feel ALIVE!” Brook wailed.

“No, you don’t!” Chopper sobbed.

Robin, ever the supportive chaos enabler, casually raised a "9" and smiled.

“Okay, new round,” you gasped, having dismounted from Sanji only for him to collapse on the deck, face flushed and steam practically whistling out his ears.

“Sanji, are you okay?” you asked sweetly.

“I am...not okay,” he mumbled into the floorboards. “I am... experiencing every emotion known to man. And several that shouldn't be legal.”

You nudged him with your toe. “C’mon, Casanova. Final pose.”

He looked up. “What kind of pose?”

You grinned like the devil.

“Couple’s yoga.”

Sanji stopped breathing.

Brook immediately played a romantic waltz. Luffy yelled, “I WANNA DO A KISS POSE WITH BROOK!” Brook screamed, “I DON’T EVEN HAVE LIPS!!”

And then you sat on Sanji’s lap. Back to chest. Legs tangled. Arms up and curved into a heart-shape above your heads.

The deck exploded.

“THAT’S NOT EVEN A STRETCH,” Zoro bellowed from somewhere very far away.

“It is if you do this,” you whispered, twisting slightly and stretching your spine—your head lolling back against Sanji’s shoulder.

Sanji died. Just flatlined.

Brook kept playing. Chopper cried harder. Luffy attempted to mimic you both and fell off the deck.

“Sanji?” you murmured, glancing back.

He was just lying there. A gentle smile on his lips. Nosebleed imminent. “I saw heaven. She’s very flexible.”

The Sunny’s deck was wrecked.

Not physically—yet—but spiritually? Emotionally? The vibes? Ruined.

Chopper was sobbing quietly into a first aid kit. Usopp had duct-taped two planks together and was pretending they were “emergency blinkers.” Nami had stopped watching entirely and was just muttering, “I don’t get paid enough for this,” even though no one on this ship actually gets paid.

Brook was still playing violin. You were not sure when he learned the Titanic theme.

And Zoro… Zoro had made a critical mistake.

He came too close.

And Luffy grabbed him. “YOU’RE MY NEW PARTNER!”

“No—”

Too late.

Zoro was in a headlock, Luffy’s legs wrapped around him like some hellish rubber vine, and now both of them were rolling across the deck in what looked like a very violent—and extremely bendy—game of Twister.

“I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS—” Zoro barked as he went airborne.

Chopper screamed. Nami cackled. Robin politely gave them a “7.”

Meanwhile, Sanji had recovered.

Barely.

And was now leaning casually against the mast, one hand dramatically ruffling his hair. “Alright, mon amour. One final pose. Let’s end this right.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You got a move in mind?”

“Oh yes,” he said, eyes smoldering. “I call it... La Fin de Moi.”

“…That sounds like a dramatic way to die.”

“It is.”

You didn’t have time to process before he scooped you up bridal-style, spun you once like he was dancing through a storm of flower petals (there were no petals—only stunned silence), then dipped you into a perfect backbend, his hand at your lower back, your faces inches apart.

You blinked. “This isn’t a stretch.”

“It could be,” he purred. “If you lean a little closer.”

“…You mean like—”

And then he did it. He bent backward too, supporting you with one hand while you both formed a perfect mirrored arch, noses brushing, breath tangled.

“NOW THAT’S FLEXIBILITY,” Sanji grinned, eyes locked with yours, every fiber of his being screaming "kiss me, you absolute menace."

Everyone lost it.

“OH MY GOD—” Usopp threw his hat. Brook fainted. Just straight-up keeled over. Nami stood and started clapping like it was Broadway. Chopper yelled, “SOMEONE’S GONNA BREAK THEIR SPINE—BUT IT’S BEAUTIFUL.”

You laughed breathlessly, still arched in Sanji’s arms. “So… who wins?”

He leaned closer, eyes fluttering half-lidded, voice husky. “Who cares?” His breath ghosted over your lips. “We both got… flexible.”

And with that, he passed out.

Just full body limp, collapsed like a starfish with a romantic death wish. You ended up awkwardly cradling his head, laughing so hard your ribs hurt.

Zoro, bruised and tangled in Luffy’s arms like a cartoon pretzel, snarled from the side. “Next time I’m throwing both of you overboard.”

You wiped a tear from your eye and grinned.

“Only if you can reach us, Stretchy.”

[purple-obsidian]

I'm back in your inbox again. Hello 👋

Been thinking about your ak jason todd and you've mentioned that his men know about her. They're intimidated by him and for good reason. But, hear me out, is Jason still working with scarecrow in your story?

Maybe Scarecrow is looking for the weakness in what seems like the arkham knights flawless armor. Maybe one of Jason's men isn't so loyal, or maybe scarecrow uses fear gas to get it out of them.

But I'm thinking how badly Jason would react if the reader was even in the slightest bit of danger or even vaugley threatened by scarecrow, even in passing. (Or slade, or even one of his men.) I think there'd be a bullet involved before the sentence is even over. Cause no matter how he treats her, she's still his person.

hello my friend! <3

in my little au, my fics 'say it back' and 'let go' happen just after the events of arkham knight, so jason is no longer working with scarecrow. i imagine that gotham is still a wreck, and jason hasn't yet transitioned to being red hood. so he's 'found' himself enough to have helped bruce in the end, but he's still harbors a crap ton of resentment and anger towards him and the others, and is still not above using lethal violence against those he thinks deserve it.

in my mind, this time period here is extremely tumultuous for him as he struggles to redefine and analyze what his goals and plans are now. like, if you're familiar with ATLA, i liken it to prince zuko getting physically ill after letting appa free. a sort of crisis of his self image. joker spent so much time convincing jason over and over how batman left him, abandoned him, telling him that bats was the enemy. and jason believed it, but when push came to shove, jason didn't exact his revenge. this turmoil inside of him, along with the unprocessed trauma of jokers multitude of atrocities, is what fuels a lot of his anger and unpredictability. his hired men are left over from his militia, he kept a handful of his most trusted guys on his payroll to help solidify his authority in gothams underworld. however, in my version of events, jason and reader were reunited back when he and scarecrow were still working together.

so, back to the original question. if earlier on, scarecrow had found out about reader, [and you're right, he had to trust some of his men to help keep her safe, so they could of had the info squeezed out of them. or maybe they were loose-lipped and talking shit, who knows.] no way crane could've resisted the temptation.

i think we can all agree that jason would use lethal force to protect reader. his own sins against her be damned, just because he's treated her like shit doesn't mean he will allow anyone else to threaten her or even touch her.

if it were dr. crane trying to use his fear gas on reader, jason would kill him on sight. no questions asked.

if it were someone less dangerous, like one of his militia getting too comfortable with reader, i see a possibility of him taking his time. we saw in 'let go' that he has some dark urges inside of him to hurt others the way he's been hurt. don't know if he'd actually have it in him to brutally torture someone, but if reader was injured, assaulted, or seriously harmed, who knows.

an important thing, though, is that i think jason would feel guilty after. not for killing them, not if they hurt his person. he'll be able to live with that just fine. but anything that prolongs their suffering i think he would feel remorse for, later on, when he's had more time to heal. more than anything, it will scare him to look back on it and know he's capable of such evil.

there would be a rare moment of vulnerability between jason and reader after he's eliminated the threat and can check and make sure readers okay.

if reader were suffering from fear gas, he would take her somewhere private and hold her close, not letting go until the toxin is out of her system, even if it's hours. most likely blaming himself the whole time and triggering him to spiral further down his path of self-hatred.

in the case of his militia men, they would be knocked out, and jason would get reader to safety asap. if reader has severe injuries, he may chance setting foot in a hospital, even though it reminds him of arkham. if the injuries are less severe, he would probably lock her up somewhere safe while he 'takes care' of the perpetrator, later returning to reader with bloody hands and eyes full of fear.

no matter the outcome, poor jay would be extra protective over reader for a while, second guessing who he trusts to leave her with and who is vetted enough to guard his safehouse when she's inside.

gahhhhh you're making me want to replay the games to brush up on the lore. its so tragic, jasons story. my heart hurts for him.

i would apologize for such a long-winded, unorganized response to a simple question, but i know you're just as obsessed as i am 😈

xoxo sid

[strikefourth]

Fourth Strike Feb-Mar-April Roundup!

Long time no see--we missed you! Here are all the cool things we've been up to in the transition to spring:

--

Remember that Valentine's Day single we mentioned last time? Well, it's out now via Cardboard Chords ( @bertiefromseattle ) on all your favorite streaming services.

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2. Resni released a trailer and steam page for their new upcoming game! "Mythic Mire is an RPG with a horror aesthetic and dark surreal vibes. Turn-based battles and light environmental puzzling await."

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3. Everywhere But Here (band) is now on BlueSky (social media website). Give them a follow, and... keep your eyes peeled? 👀

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4. It's been a big few months for music over here, including this new track from crimesididntcommit, out now on spotify:

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5. and a feature by our very own Raccoon Fink on the Cranked to 11: Ampwall Community Mixtape:

If you've heard the garages' Tribute Act 3, you might also recognize his industrial version of "Stars of Tomorrow," now up on streaming under the Raccoon Fink banner:

Or, for Putrid Shark fans, there's "Upon the Unlikely Discovery of a Ghost, Do Not Panic (Immediately)" + an intriguing bonus track called "Just the Screams, Please." wonder what's inside

--

6. and new Julien band Stolen Velour has a debut single hot off the press!!!!!!

You can follow the band on instagram @ stolenvelouratl

They'll be playing a show in town next month! Here's the poster; you can reach out to the account for more details :)

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8. While not technically new music, we realized what a travesty it'd be if we didn't tell you about azure's gorgeous, otherworldly, synth-drenched album From the fires:

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9. Gabi ( @girlballz ) is fundraising for a new car! Fae're pretty far from its goal; anything helps:

[watermelonsloth]

Should Shikamaru have become a Medic Nin?

Back when I made my post about Ino on the Sasuke Retrieval Mission, I ended up returning to the manga to review some info. While reviewing, I returned to Shikamaru’s reaction to the failed mission/his comrades being okay. I could talk about how fucked up Temari and Shikaku’s reactions to Shikamaru’s very reasonable self-doubt/guilt was, but for now I’ll just talk about his interactions with Tsunade following those reactions. Specifically how (and I might just be reading into this) their interactions seem to hint at him becoming a medic ninja.

First, some review/background info for anyone who hasn’t read the manga/watched the anime in a while. The scene starts with Shikamaru and Temari sat outside Choji’s hospital room. At this time, Choji and Neji are under intensive care, Kiba has barely woken up, and Naruto and Sasuke are both still missing in action. Shikamaru feels guilty for, despite being team leader, walking away mostly unscathed and tells Temari that he’s considering quitting being a shinobi altogether. Temari tells him off for being emotionally “delicate” and Shikaku tells him off for being a “coward” (specifically saying that him leaving the field won’t actually protect anyone). Then Tsunade shows up to say that Choji is stable, Shizune says Neji is stable and Naruto’s returned alive, and Tsunade says she couldn’t have asked for more than them all getting out alive. Shikamaru promises the next mission will be perfect and the chapter ends.

This is a nice moment, but it’s not really relevant to my point outside of Tsunade mentioning that the “Nara Clan’s Sacred Medicine Guide” was helpful. The main reason I brought this up is because of how it frames the next scene.

So, the last scene was Shikamaru anxiously waiting outside the ninja icu for his best friend to survive feeling so useless that he wants to quit his job, something he only decides against after hearing that his team isn’t dead and being told that if he doesn’t want his friends to die, he should work to better keep them alive in the future. The next scene is him talking to Tsunade about how every team should have a medic nin and what it takes to become one. For the people who framing isn’t their strong suit: it’s following up a scene about a character realizing that to reach their goal (keeping their friends alive) they need to step up and work harder with a scene explaining how hard medic nin have to work to step up.

You can't even argue that Kishimoto doesn’t know that the previous scene will impact how the following scene is interpreted because he does it for the literal next scene transition. Almost immediately after Tsunade ominously saying that first-rate medics need a “special something” (literally only 2-3 panels apart) it cuts to Sakura, future medicine extraordinaire. At most, you can argue that Kishimoto intended for the scene to be interpreted as Shikamaru becoming a smarter strategist or that Kishimoto wasn’t considering transitions between chapters. But unintentional readings are still valid, so I think my point still stands.

Now that I’ve talked about the story structuring that started me down this rabbit hole, let’s talk about the actual story. Should Shikamaru become a medic nin?

I first want to go over whether or not Shikamaru has what it takes to become a medic nin according to Tsunade. She lists the qualifications as follows: a light and precise hand, an enormous amount of expertise, an adeptness at practical application, patience, and a “special something”.

Taking her first point literally, Shikamaru is pretty precise in all that he does and I don’t think shaky hands will be a problem for him considering all of the awkward positions he maintains for his different shadow jutsu. Taking it in a more metaphorical “gentle but efficient touch” sort of way, I also think it applies, at least when it matters. The best example of this is when he dragged Naruto out of his depression after Jiraiya’s death, but I’ll also mention how he became friends with Choji by standing up for him (in his own way) and how he deferred to Ino in the Forest of Death about protecting Sakura. Expertise is easily yes because it’s just training and Shikamaru has shown his willingness to put in the work if it’s for the people he cares about. I don’t think practical application will be a problem for two reasons: 1. Considering he’s able to translate shoji, a board game, into on-field strategies, he seems pretty good at translating practice into practicality, 2. Shikamaru just got out of a conversation with Temari about how he was too naive and that there’s a difference between training and doing, it wouldn’t make sense for him not to try getting better at the doing part after saying that. Patience is probably the most obvious. Asuma literally described him as doing everything at the pace of an old man. The “special something” isn’t explicitly defined in-manga, but it’s implied to be a person’s personal drive to do something/reach a goal. While it isn’t exactly something I’d describe Shikamaru as having at this point in the series, I would say him gaining it would align with his character arc of gaining that drive and learning to follow it.

Speaking of character arcs, I also want to get into how I think him becoming a medic would impact his character quality. I’m not gonna detail how him becoming a medic would be better payoff to his two scenes with Tsunade at the hospital because I’ve already gone into them and I think you’re smart enough to figure that out yourself. I also won’t get too into the other main benefit to him becoming a medic because I’ve already made a post on the topic. OGs of this blog may remember my post about Shikamaru’s sexism and how it should’ve been addressed in-series. Shikamaru becoming a student of Tsunade would absolutely do this. Not only would he be acknowledging her prowess as a ninja, but it would also give him a positive female role model (one who didn’t shame him for his feelings and would absolutely understand his fear of his loved ones dying in the field due to his failure). Plus, depending on your conclusions about the ninja world, by becoming a medic, he might be entering a female dominated field. I also think that him becoming a medic/doctor/surgeon would be a good (and potentially better) end to his character arc about motivation and self discipline because the medical field is absolutely ruthless and slackers aren’t gonna make it.

Some miscellaneous thoughts I had are also that expanding on the Nara clan’s ties to medicine would be interesting, Shikamaru probably has the chakra control for the job considering his clan jutsu, the series is in dire need of more male medic nin, there would be way more tragedy to Asuma’s death if Shikamaru couldn’t save him even with medical ninjutsu, I think Shikamaru killing Hidan using his knowledge of the human body (like irreversibly paralyzing him or just slowly cutting him to bits with the chakra scalpel rather than blowing him up) would be cooler, and Asuma wanting Shikamaru specifically to take care of Kurenai and Mirai would make more sense if he was a doctor.

If nothing else, I think Shikamaru becoming a medic ninja would make more sense than Ino and arguably Sakura.

[aicosu]

Guys, I hate to do this.

Any of you who know me in any circle know that I'm a very professional, very private lady who hates any sort of disc horse breeds that might give me a headache. But this one is important, and my goal here is the integrity and reputation of artists.

For my credentials: I have been a part of five zines in the past. Two I moderated, and one I ran, created, laid out, printed, and shipped in its entirety.

So anyway:

HELLCHEER ZINE BULLSHIT

I joined Hellcheer and the Kindred Freaks Zine very late. Well, after sign ups, check-ins, etc. I saw it was happening in april-ish and shot a DM to the twitter to join. I did both a full art page and a cosplay page.

At the time, the server was quiet but kind. We got updates on the number of orders and books being made.

@Lawless is the runner of the Zine. They created and organized it. They are in charge of the main emails, the selling website, the orders, the shipping, and the funds. (To be clear, this level of sole responsibility is not ABNORMAL in a zine. And is not always an issue.)

@Valerie is the 'social media' mod. They are in charge of managing announcements and answering questions on Twitter and Tumblr. Please keep in mind: No one wants anything but a fast and easy recovery for both Lawless and their mother. Medical emergencies, heck—LIFE happens. It's always okay to put a hiatus on anything, even product with money, in order to take care of yourself and family. Every single contributor only wants them to be clear in what they need and how we can help.

So lets break down what's happening.

Back in May, Lawless went radio silent on the status of books and merch coming in. Another contributor and I, @Toguchin, start dming Lawless to make sure everything is on track. They come back after a week and apologize for being MIA, explaining that their mom got sick. We thank them for all their hard work and wish them and their mom well.

On July 15th, after contributors and customers inquire on delays to meeting the announced shipping deadline, Lawless makes a twitter post saying shipping has started and contributor copies will be happening. They proceeded to go MIA from the server discord and have been since.

The following week, contributors and customers discover that shipping HAS NOT started. Labels have been created and printed, but nothing appears to be in transit at all.

Toguchin and I started getting reached out to by customers worrying their packages are lost. We report this to the zine server to NO RESPONSE. Except @Ashlee, the discord mod who also has heard nothing.

July 20th to 22nd with customers complaining and theorizing a scam in mind; Toguchin and I propose that PDFs be given out to assure and apologize for delays.

We as a server discover a few things: 1. We cannot access the list of buyers at all in order to email apology zines because Lawless did not share the account information with anyone. 2. We cannot access the main email for the same reason. 3. Valerie, the social media mod, deleted discord and distanced themselves from the Hellcheer fandom and has not been checking the Twitter or tumblr, or discord notifications since May.

Ashlee and Ichikun contact Valerie to sign on.

I made a new email and said fuck it, we need to do something to assuage fears, let them send receipts to honor their zines. Valerie didn't know what to post or say or how to answer everyone, so I gave them a copy paste.

Still no words from Lawless but hoping for the best knowing the have a medical emergency, Ashlee and I begin answering the new email for PDFs, but cant help people change addresses or give them any update!!!

Throughout the weeks mods and contributors ping Lawless constantly asking if they need any help! Any help at all, answering emails, changing order addresses, heck a few of us ask if we can pick up the books and packages and ship stuff for them so they can hands off the project and take care of their mom. No response.

We send message after message saying if Lawless can share picture proof, that would be great cause scam theories and chargebacks are starting. BUT ALSO, we let Lawless know we and customers will ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND delays if they just communicate it. That if they post in server and on Twitter that shipping needs to wait a month or two, no one will mind. No responses.

July 31, Lawless makes a Twitter update with comments disabled that they are shipping ALL packages that monday with a picture of packages. They also call Valerie privately and tell the issue that USPS refuses to pick up shipments from Lawless has, and they can't leave their mothers side from the post office. They also claim they can only deliver ten packages at a time at the post when they go. *USPS has no such rules. Me and other mutuals who run shops have never had such a problem.

A week later, we realize that customers and our packages are still not in transit. Labels printed only. Most of us assume all packages are just label printed and sitting at Lawless' house.

We beg for updates from Valerie or Lawless. Valerie doubles down on Lawless old reasonings and also officially goes MIA until present day.

Throughout August, USA packages get delivered. A few more updates are made straight to Twitter and Tumblr with comments off. Radio silence in server.

As packages arrive, we all become aware from people's posts and pictures that random Stranger Things Art Stickers are included. No credit to any artist is given? No contributor is responsible for this art. These are suspected to be BOUGHT from Amazon. STOLEN arts amazon sellers resell in packs. NO contributor is okay with this!!! Valerie responds with no response at all.

As of now:

No response to missing digital copies. Ashlee and I cannot give out any without receipts because we have no access to buyers list. Nor can we answer missing packages inquiries cause we have no info. International packages unaccounted for. SCRUNCHIES FREE OR OTHERWISE UNACCOUNTED FOR. Zero word on contributor copies. Zero word on donation status. Zero word on generated profit or book and shipping cost. No way to verify funds at all. No word from Lawless to contributors since July 15. From Valerie since the 31st.

Some notes:

Turning off twitter comments was NEVER what any one of us wanted. A ZINE LAYOUT was never shared. So until people had them in hand or in PDF none of us realized that the credits DO NOT POINT TO ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. All of our usernames are handle-less? This was extremely disappointing. This one matters to me: Our FanEdit artist was not aware their work was not getting a full page. Again no pre-layout was shared. So their work is tiny and in the margins of the front and back. That's not okay. All of us wanted to help in any way we could. NONE of us doubt Lawless intentions or emergencies. But lying, misleading, non-communicating and turning off comments are all things we did not consent to. All of us only wanted a cordial, honest response. None of us actually cared about delays as much as we did communications. There has been many noticeable times Lawless has been online, posting privately or otherwise, even active on Discord and has not reached out.

Why make a post:

Customers should know contributors fought for them. That we did everything we could and our reputation as artists in the fandom shouldn't be tarnished cause two creators decided to disappear. Contributors should get their copies. Many of us BOUGHT bundles. I've been in five zines and every single one gave out free contributor copies WITH merch!!

I'm also attaching all server screenshots for integrity. I'm in half a mind to release the zine PDF publicly, for free, for everyone at this point. I personally think it's only fair since many are still missing just that. But I do not want to insult anyone who paid for just the PDF regardless of the potential contribution to charity. But it's really up to customers, not me.

[jackie-monochrome]

ALRIGHT SO

I watched HTTYD 2 for the first time and I have Thoughts. Spoiler warning ig but like, pretty sure everyone's watched the film who's reading this post anyway.

Thing number one: THEY DID THE GANG SO DIRTY???? Transitioning from RTTE to the second film gave me massive whiplash on that front, they gave them like???? no time????? no lines????? like wtf man????? Astrid turns up occasionally to give Hiccup a pep talk, with the rest of her limited screentime being devoted to a b-plot that was kinda pretty bad. Snotlout, the twins, and Fishlegs only barely exist, and the whole love thingy situation with Eret, Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Fishlegs was just....bleh.

Thing number two: The film simultaneously felt too fast and too slow. The slow scenes sometimes dragged a bit too long imo, and the fast scenes could be pretty difficult to follow, with just, a lot of stuff going on, but not in a good way (if that makes sense?).

Visuals were gorgeous throughout, the closeup shots of the dragons was cool because wow the skin looks so textured. Loved how they kept the philosophy of the scenes only being lit with objects actually there (or whatever it was), the lighting was ough yes very nice. The motion of the people (particularly hiccup) felt very motion-capture, but not enough to detract from the film.

I really wish I could've seen more of him exploring the uncharted parts of the world, that was cool (ig rtte is that but ehh).

There were definitely flashes of brilliance in the film as well. The flight scenes with Hiccup and Toothless were stunning, the scene where Stoick meets Valka is great, Stoicks funeral was also very good. One of my favourite moments was Hiccup flying in on the wingsuit, covering Drago in zippleback gas, and blowing him up because yes yes yes this is the person with the heart of a cheif and soul of a dragon!!!!!

Returning to visuals, there are many shots that are just gorgeous. I would say that it felt less like every frame could be a painting (which the 1st on genuinely did feel like a lot of the time) and more like a lot of okay stuff and then BAM most beautiful shot you've ever seen. They really got the sense of scale well, and did a good job placing how big and fast the dragons are in the 3d space (most of the time), something which I felt the shows were lacking, probably just due to not having the budget for huge sweeping landscapes that actually look any good, among many other reasons I'm sure.

Love that Hiccup kept the changes to the sword that Viggo made (even though yes, Viggo being the one to have the idea was added retroactively). Also cool that it retracts and stuff, it's cool to see the final design after the iterations in rtte. same for wingsuit.

Loved that Toothless's loyalty/friendship/love for Hiccup was what brought him back.

Drago was super forgettable as a villain ngl. I just kinda didn't care about him. I was very surprised that Hiccup didn't bring up his leg when Drago was monologuing about losing his arm to a dragon. Also was Drago supposed to be Hiccups foil? Or something? idk, whatever, I just didn't care about him. Why did he have a big army? idk he just does. Literally what even was his end goal i genuinely don't remember and I just watched the film.

If they could make the film cover a short TV show to flesh out basically everything more that could've been neat, but idk if the budget would stretch that far and still produce something good. Maybe the film was trying to fit in too much? Idk lol.

I'll probably watch No.3 on my own cause my family would NOT stop talking -_-

Anyway this is by far the longest post I've ever made so if you made it this far I'm impressed.

[catboybiologist]

Transition journal and documentation: Jan and Feb of 2024

Measurements for January are up, and February will be soon to follow! Tagging @whalesharkcat and @trans4hire here. If you want to be tagged when I post these, let me know! The advice for injections is in the journal below.

Some quick notes to clarify things:

I'm consolidating qualitative observations into my journal. Oftentimes these haven't been easy to cleanly classify into different categories of observation, so I'm not really gonna bother.

As I'm sure you've realized, the timing of these observations isn't consistent. I have a private document with exact date stamps for everything, and these are mostly right at the end of the month. But my levels checks don't match up to this cleanly, so I group them with the closest set of other measurements. Sometimes I don't have one that cleanly fits.

I can't trust myself to measure height anymore, to be blunt. I want to ask the doctor every time but chicken out about it easily.

But anyways.

And now, as a journal, a brief summary of my thoughts on the past two months:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*deep breathing*

fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkkkk

Okay. So. I'm not gonna list off everything that's happened since the year started. So many independent things started happening, one after the other, that I had to start formatting it as a bulleted list to tell people I know irl what's been going on. Each one has been a crisis on its own- massive emotional events, health problems, health problems in people close to me, transphobic drama with former "friends", academic&research problems, and a resulting mental health spiral. And all of this leading up to my qualifying exams at the end of February, for which I barely scraped by and passed.

But. With all of this. There's silver linings.

The biggest one is that the start of this year has been a stress test of my overall emotional state since starting HRT. I'm not gonna lie- if all of this had happened a year ago, I don't think I would be here now. I either would have completely snapped and done something I regret, or... yeah. But as it stands? I cried. A lot. I isolated a bit. I had mood swings and anxiety and anger and excitement and relief and highs and lows beyond my wildest dreams. It was intense. It was not pretty. But it was cathartic, and healthy. Before this, I would've processed all of this as a generic, stressful, anxiety-ridden malaise, that would've weighed down on me until a breaking point. As it stands, however, I made it. Not in a neat way, not even really in an emotionally stable way, but I made it. And there is no fucking way that would be true pre-HRT. I think I can genuinely say at this point that estrogen has been life saving for me.

In the middle of all this, I switched to injections, right at the start of February. A mistake? Maybe, but I'm too fed up with delaying my progress because "the time isn't right", so I stubbornly refused to delay that change any further. It's a goal I worked out with my provider ahead of time and I stuck to it. So how's that been?

It's been an incredible and WILD experience. I'm on estradiol valerate. For those that don't know, estradiol is conjugated with another compound, which is then cleaved over time in your body to release it. For injections, that results in a peak irculating levels about 1-3 days afer injections. Some people feel it more than others- and holy shit, do I feel it. This has given rise to "the Sundays", because on Sundays, I'm going fucking nuts. My senses are heightened, and I start craving and reacting to physical touch in intense ways. It's not always sexual- while arousal comes easier to me the closer I am to peak, mostly I just become a cuddleslut. It is WILD. I'm also more emotional and cry more easily. Some cis female friends I have confirmed that it mirrors the feelings they get at a certain point in their monthly cycle, so essentially the fluctuating levels are giving me the sensory and emotional effects of a period every week.

The flip side of this is that I feel like shit on Thursdays, like I missed a sublingual dose when I was on that. After the first two weeks, I started taking 2mg sublingual on Wednesday night and Thursday mornings to avoid this, which helped a lot. My provider specifically said this was a good idea, so if you're dealing with that yourself, consider trying it out. I might move to a 5-day injection interval instead, but we'll see.

I've only had one problem with injections so far, which I'm dealing with right now- on my fifth self injection ever, I had unsteady hands and hesitation before stabbing myself, causing a not-great needle stick. Currently, I have a nasty looking injection bruise. Not painful, and healing pretty well, but not fantastic to look at. Self injecting has been intimidating and scary, moreso than I thought it would be. But the actual physical pain is much, MUCH less than I thought it would be, its just that the lizard brain refuses to stab yourself.

If you're thinking of switching to injections, here's a bit of my advice:

keep as many oral/sublingual pills on hand as you can anyways. These will be helpful if you feel your injections aren't carrying you emotionally for the entire interval, or if you don't have an environment where you can inject regularly

If you have a provider, they should provide a nurse tutorial and consultation for you to inject properly. If they don't, try to insist on one. They'll give better advice than I can.

think less, do more. Ideally, the actual moment of the stab should be painless. Be quick and steady about it. The fluid entering feels like pressure and slight burning, but nothing more than that.

vary your injection sites. A doctor or nurse should explain this to you, but this reduces risk of doing what I did and bruising yourself.

be extremely sterile about things. All of the wiping down and sterile technique you'll hear? Don't fuck around with it. Infection is no joke, and absolutely can happen.

Purchase spare needles and syringes from a pharmacist or online. Several reasons for this- one, if you make a mistake and a needle is no longer sterile, you don't want to hesitate about throwing it away. And two... well, let's make a second point about this.

If you want to stock up on estradiol for the future (if you're worried about future access to HRT), this can be easier with injections- but you have to be careful, and you'll need extra needles (for the love of fuck, do not reuse needles). Vials will always have excess medication, because it allows standard volumes to fill and distribute, and it also ensures that needle draws will always be able to be fully submerged. Do NOT try to run your vial out. You WILL run into sterility and contamination issues. That said, vial expiration dates are typically measured from time of first puncture. This will vary, but for me, I was told that the vials are good for 4 weeks after the first puncture. This is overcautious, but not egregiously so. My recommendation would be to use each vial for 1-2 extra punctures, and open the next vial a bit later. Still get prescription refills as frequently as you can. That way, you can stock up on unpucntured vials in case anything happens to your supply. THIS SAID- if you notice ANYTHING wrong with the vial- if the seal isn't containing the fluid properly, if bits of the seal are falling into the medication, if you can see a noticable hole in the seal, DO NOT USE THAT VIAL. Look me in the fucking eye. Do. Fucking. NOT. get sepsis. Do not fuck around with this. The flexibility to be cautious about your vials is a great reason to stock up on a bit extra in the first place.

To anyone in the US, if you're comfortable with doing this to stock up, I would highly, HIGHLY recommend starting this now. Slowly start using your vials for 1-2 punctures extra, stock up unbroken vials. Just in case something bad happens after the elections.

Typically, your medication will come with two sizes of needles- a draw needle (puncture the seal and draw medication into the syringe) and an injection needle. You might want to consider going *slightly* smaller on one or both of those needles. Estradiol is dissolved in a viscous oil as medication, and can be difficult to draw and dispense as a result. But, if you're patient, a smaller gauge might help. For the draw needle, it can help do less damage to the seal and preserve it a bit longer. For the injection needle, if you have a bit more sensitive skin, it might be comforting. Don't deviate too much, though, ESPECIALLY without a medical professional involved.

Remember that I'm not a medical professional, please consult one whenever possible.

I'm still on spiro for now, and I'm continuing it until my next levels check comes back clean. I don't want to erase months of progress getting my levels up by dropping it too early.

Measurement-wise, there hasn't been much change. But I'm starting to realize that the measurements aren't really telling the full story. My breasts look so much larger and, for lack of a better word, breast-like than they did even a couple months ago, but that hasn't been coming through in the measurements very well. I think what's happening is that my fat around my sides is shrinking at the same time my breasts are growing. This is reflected a bit in terms of underbust and waist measurements, but it still seems more dramatic than those are letting on.

Face wise, I think I'm really seeing some changes now. It's hard to put into words, but I'm starting to look more and more androgynous or femme by default, especially if I shave. I'm estatic, honestly, and I hope the trend continues. My chin and nose continue to be problems, but as the structure of the face around them changes, that's becoming less and less true.

I've been getting laser, but so far it's done pretty much nothing. There's lag time, and some of my health issues meant that I had to delay a session and get both sessions at a much lower power than I would've like. I was really hoping to have visible hair removal by June or so, but it looks like that's not happening. That kinda stings, and is a huge blow to my ability to pass by the one-year mark, which has been my target.

I think my boymoding has been holding, for the most part, although its been harder. Even with my sports bras, small bumps are visible under a t shirt, and the face changes won't be unnoticable forever. I've def been more loudly bisexual, and I think most people just write it off as me being fruity. Cis people can also be pretty oblivious, especially when changes are gradual. That being said, I've been coming out slowly to people, giving my usual speech of "I'm still presenting as a man for now, but just so you know this is what's going on", which removes a lot of the pressure and anxiety from boymoding. Still, I haven't told everyone (notably, labmates and family), and my timeline of social transition between June and August seems to be holding steady.

So uh, yeah. If you're curious about anything specifically, I'm an open book, although I may move it to DMs if it gets too personal. Hope that my progress updates are helpful to at least someone!

[redguns]

Armored Core 6 main cast thoughts. spoilers for all endings

btw. categorizing endings by number rather than if they're "good" or bad" because i think thats stupid. if you categorize them like that you're a fool! Coral take you!

Starting off with Handler Walter. Went into the game not trusting him at all. Whenever he said anything I always thought "Yeah, okay, whatever Walter. in that kind of mocking tone but that changed quicker than i thought once i realized there was a genuine care in his voice and started putting the pieces together for his end-goal. The second ending is genuinely heartbreaking. He really meant every word he said to you. And I adore him for it. View him like a father now

Moving on, Ayre. My beautiful coral anomaly wife.. her kinder and more supportive demeanor immediately sold me, of course, but it was her efforts to actually get me to care about Rubicon as a planet and it's people that really hit. It's special. It's tasteful. It feels great. And it hurts all the more in the first ending when I have to discard all of that. It sucked so much. I was on the verge of tears throughout the whole final boss of the first ending. Worst break-up of my life. Girl I love you so much

Up next, speaking of love, is "Cinder" Carla, who I fell in love with like, 2 lines in? Very attractive voice and then an incredible personality to go with it. Probably the most fun character in the game by design and it goes a long way. She's like a role model to me. I want to be her and I want to date her at the same time. She's just like me Fr. I want to kiss her

transitioning from that to V.IV- SIKE IT'S "CHATTY" STICK TIME Phenomenal. Absolutely incredible performance. Absolutely sells the no emotion AI aspect without being too overbearing. Armored core as a series has always had a high standard for AI characters, and chatty is absolutely at the top of the pile for me along with Chief from V... I love him so much... The strongest little soldier...

Up next, for real now, is V.IV Rusty. What a strong first impression. It was always his line that stuck with me from the trailer. Ready to climb over the wall? They nailed the "rival pilot who's just like you but in another faction" to a degree I haven't seen in decades. A genuine brother in arms. My best buddy in the world. Every time he showed up in the game he just did the coolest fucking thing in the world. Slides right under the door as its opening. Crackshot sniper nailing insane headshots. And then he gets the coolest fights in the game against you. BOTH OF THEM!! HE'S SO COOL!!! HE'S HIM!!!!!! I WAS SO HAPPY IN THE SECOND ENDING ROUTE TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE HIM!!!! THATS MY BROTHER!!!!!! THATS MY BUDDY!!!!!!!!!

..Ahem, moving on then. V.II Snail. Yes. Another motherfucker they nailed perfectly. From the first SECOND you hear his voice you hate him. The fact his head's up his own ass. The fact you keep learning over and over throughout the game that he's SUCH a piece of shit. The fact there is nothing he wouldn't do to stay on top. Despicable little man. Absolutely brilliant antagonist.

And now, finally, the last main character to talk about is G5 Iguazu. Where to begin with this guy... Right from the get go you understand the kind of character he is. All bark, no bite. Every now and then you run into him, you kick his ass, he whines and seemingly gets away. It's interesting, then, that in the second playthrough, already, he shows up more. He sends an assassin after you. And that's that. Nothing until route 3, where it all finally comes together. How he keeps coming back. The ringing in his ears. His hatred and envy of you so strong he gives up his entire body just for a chance to beat you. He's fascinating to me. For whatever reason, his final words stick to me like glue. How he sees you, despite everything. A relic, yes, but one who's free. He wanted those wings, too. I've really come to love him, and what an annoying brat he is. That's his entire charm. He is welcome to the pantheon of Real Haters

there. that covers all the main players. that ended up being longer than i expected. thank you if you humored reading through all of that! i dont usually do these kinds of posts cause i go on for too long!

but this shit mean something to me man

[gkyoyukinona]

How to Write an Essay (Without Losing Your Sanity lol)

The essay. That dreaded form of writing that often brings out feelings of fear, dread, and confusion. But fear not! Writing an essay doesn't have to be as terrifying as it seems. Whether you're a student or someone who just got stuck with a writing assignment, i am here to guide you through the process. Get ready to unlock the mystery of essay writing in a very simple way.

Step 1: Understand the Prompt

First things first: Read the assignment. I know, I know—this sounds too easy, but you'd be surprised how many people skip this crucial step. Understanding the question you're being asked is the foundation of your entire essay. You wouldn’t build a house without a blueprint, would you? (Unless you’re a DIY enthusiast)

Ask yourself:

What is the essay asking me to do? Analyze? Argue? Explain?)

Are there specific guidelines or requirements? (Word count? Format? Citation style?)

What’s the purpose of the essay? (Are you informing? Persuading? Telling a story?)

Step 2: Research Like You’re the Next Sherlock Holmes

You may be tempted to skip this part and just write whatever comes to mind. Big mistake! Essays are all about backing up your ideas with solid evidence. So, channel your inner Sherlock Holmes and start researching.

Use reliable sources (we’re not citing Wikipedia here, folks).

Take notes and organize your thoughts. This will save you from diving into a writing frenzy and realizing halfway through that you’ve completely lost track of your argument.

Look for a variety of sources—books, articles, interviews, or anything that feels appropriate for your topic.

Once you’ve done your research, take a deep breath and let the facts fill your brain. You’ll need them in the next step.

Step 3: Make an Outline

Okay, you’ve got your research, and now it’s time to plan out your essay. The outline is like a map that keeps you from wandering into the unknown wilderness of “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

There are different ways but this is how I make the most simple outline for my essay

Introduction: This is where you grab your reader's attention. Start with a hook—something that piques curiosity or makes them think. A quote, a question, or even a joke (that’s relevant, of course).

Body Paragraphs: These are the meat of your essay. Each paragraph should cover one main idea. Start with a topic sentence, support it with evidence, and wrap it up with an analysis. Rinse and repeat.

Conclusion: Time to bring it all home! Restate your main points, tie everything together, and leave your reader with something to think about. And please, for the love of all things good, don’t just copy-paste your introduction.

Step 4: Write the First Draft (Embrace Imperfection)

Now, it's time to write! Don’t worry about making it perfect just yet. The goal is to get your thoughts down on paper. You can always clean it up later.

Here are a few tips:

Write freely. Don’t censor yourself—let your ideas flow.

Use transition words like "however," "for example," and "in conclusion" to connect your ideas smoothly.

Don’t obsess over grammar and spelling in the first draft. You’ll have time for that later.

Now once you're done writing drafts think of some title ideas related to the topic of your essay. Remember a catchy title is necessary as it serves the first impression of your write up. ( Some of you may do this before starting your essay and i really admire you for that becoz for me thinking title take hours )

Step 5: Edit Like You’re a Grammar Ninja

Once you’ve got your first draft, it’s time to put on your editing hat. You know, the one with the sharp sword of logic and the shield of perfect grammar.

Check for clarity. Does everything make sense? Is your argument easy to follow?

Grammar and punctuation: This is where you get to play the detective. Look for missing commas, awkward sentences, and spelling errors. Use apps or Google to check your grammar

Step 6: Polish and Submit (The Final Touches)

Now that you've edited your masterpiece, it's time for the final touches. Ensure your essay follows the required format and citation style (MLA, APA, Chicago—pick your poison).

Take one last look at your essay:

Are your paragraphs well-organized?

Is your argument clear?

Is your spelling flawless?

Congratulations! You've now survived the essay-writing process and emerged victorious.Keep practicing, and soon, you'll be an essay-writing pro—no sweat, no tears, just a few cups of coffee and maybe a well-timed joke.

Good luck, and happy writing!

Visit this link to see my essay and other writeups on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/gkyoyuki.nona?igsh=Mzhxa2c5ZjNpY2kx

[thistransient]

Halfway through July, and I have neglected to write my yearly birthday introspection, although it did occur to me that between my birthday and the new year I was in fact doing two introspections a year anyways.

For certain reasons I've been waffling about it, but it's also quite nice to be able to look back and compare with the previous year, to see what's changed (sometimes unexpectedly) and what's still the same. Last year I mentioned I "made a close friend [...] and disentangled myself from a draining relationship", but in the end I had been drawn to said friend because he was the polar opposite of the person I was disentangling myself from, and while a different extreme might have been refreshing in the moment, that too was unsustainable in the long run. I think what finally dragged me out of the cycle of too-clingy/too-distant nebulous just-friends-but-what-if sort of relationships was twofold: I started going to counselling with a goal (not the usual "I feel like I'm having a breakdown so I'll see a therapist for 3-6 months before ditching"), and also got into a communal hobby such that I was able to make casual friends and attend regular and diverse events with a time limit (rather than laser focusing on one person and relying on them for all my socialising).

A year ago I said I was feeling adrift, goal-less, and filled with the sort of summer malaise inspired by the scorching Taipei weather this time of year. Unfortunately we are still rather scorched. The temperature and UV levels somewhat put a damper on my usual practice of walking around outside looking at things. On the positive side, I did struggle through the adrift-ness and applied for one (1) grad school program over the winter, which I didn't get into but I did learn that I feel better when I'm working on something, and I was also motivated to finally take Taiwan's Chinese proficiency exam to open up my options for the sort of programs I could try for in the future (I passed a level higher than I expected to, and it was great to feel acknowledgment of my competence at something I'd really put long-term effort into). After the grad school rejection I started planning the trip to Ladakh, which allllmost felt like it involved a similar level of paperwork and fuss- and actually pulling that off in the end (ok, even tho this was after my birthday) despite all my fears and anxiety (particularly around travelling post-transition) was also a great confidence boost. (For a week after I also had this frantic urge to drastically change my life, and I can't tell if it wore off with time or if the heat simply drained out all ambition beyond staying out of the sun and sitting in front of the fan eating cold dragonfruits.)

I have at least two proper goals now, and although one may require starting over entirely from an educational standpoint, as they say, "the time will pass anyways". On my bike rides at night I do tend to start pondering what shall become of me, creeping along in the years but being no closer to permanent or even temporary residency status than any other time I write about it either wistfully or with well-intentioned but otherwise ultimately futile determination, nor feeling like I am useful for any sort of capitalist pursuits. (I suppose this is the part of reflection wherein things have stayed the same, and we must stay tuned for next year.) But I also believe I have made some progress in deflating a little the omnipresent catholic guilt at simply existing, not to mention the adjacent notion that enjoying life a bit and not being maximally miserable at all times is a SIN. By this I mean I have gone twice now to a nice hair salon to let a beautiful woman shampoo, condition, and also give me a haircut that doesn't bear a strong resemblance to a bichon-frise immediately after.

All in all, I would say the verdict is incremental improvement. (Okay maybe I'm also racking up incremental nerve damage from all the shibari but you win some you lose some.) My housing/employment/visa-running status hasn't changed dramatically but I feel more hopeful and kinder with myself. I think my Chinese reading speed has kicked up a notch. I've managed to keep the instant noodle consumption under control. I've sent a lot of postcards on my quarterly trips, which are generally well-received. I have taken great delight in growing many plants in the window cage (whether they survive is another thing, RIP to the tomato plants while I was away, bravo to the basil that miraculously rehydrated from what seemed to be a completely unsalvageable state, sorry to the lemon tree sprout that was apparently doing fine on its own before I came back and over-watered it to death). Things feel kinda okay, and I used to be quite suspicious of this because surely they were only going to get worse again, but these days I figure hey, even so, might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

[zoeys-ksbd-fan-blog]

Zoeys K6BD First Impression/Analysis/Whatever

Book 6 Part 3

He did the impossible! Abbadon made Zaid hot!

Okay I love this.

Throughout the WHOLE comic. The goal was: kill the demiurges. But, not anymore! Tom Parkinson Abbadon Expectation Smashing Lord.

Fuck, Abbadon bit off a lot of plot here. Somehow I doubt he'll do it all in just ONE more book.

Fuckkkkk this comic is so good

Guys I think that "strength beyond strength" is friendship.

What then?

It's really tragic that Chain was forced to embody a power of control she didn't want. There's not much to analyze here. It's sad, you know it.

I'm skipping over a lot of stuff, since it's mostly plot going on. But I kinda like how Chain isn't 100% content with her new body. I'm trans, not all of my problems were solved after I transitioned. Same goes for Chain.

But, she's being trained in Ki-rata so that's cool.

You didn't think she would listen would you?

There we go! Zoss resets the world each time. So we know Gog-agog, Zoss, and POSSIBLY jagganoth stick around between loops. It could also be Jagganoth is just this loop's Chakravartin.

Hohohohohohoohohohohohohoho YESSSSS!

So, from what I understand Gog-agog. Used to be the hero. Or she claims to be the hero anyway. She killed the gods, she ruled the throne. But couldn't beat Chakravartin. But she found a way to survive loops, but most importantly... Retain her memory. But also, the memory of, everybody in every loop? Because when Allison eats that worm. She sees her own memories from other loops. Also, I'm short on images. But the view of Gog-agogs true form is. Insane. Mountains of flesh as far as the eye can see. Because she needs all those brains to store the memories.

It looks like eating the worm doesn't turn you into Gog-agog. But let's you live the memory of past loops. Experience any alternative life you'd like. But it looks like Allison manages to escape. Choosing to move forward. Instead of living in the past. Literally.

Gog-agog is the best demiurge. I love her.

My stomach hurts.

That was me!!! I wanted them to live happily forever after. I wanted everything to be okay. I wanted it so bad.

But Nukoku can't go back. WE can't go back. If we went back it would be wrong. And Allison knows this, which is why she ate the worm instead of her.

This is fucking brilliant writing.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 20

Nikita anon (new), midnights anon, dress anon (new), @thestarsshineevenwhenhidden, SK anon (new)

Nikita anon

Hi! I'm so sorry to bother you but I don't know anyone else for this and you give off Internet Auntie vibes

So I'm FTM but I have absolutely no idea what to do about it, like, I've pretty much accepted it but I don't know where to start and I don't have anyone to go to. I don't plan on transitioning until I'm in college because of family reasons, and I intend to go to college in a place that is pretty much supportive, but away from where I currently live and where I'm from.

What scares me is that everyone's saying that things are going to be more complicated and that there are really icky things with applying to jobs and healthcare and stuff. Really, the whole thing makes me kind of uncomfortable, like I just sorta want to snap my fingers and just change and never have to mention it ever again. People are saying it's super annoying and hard with employers and I get that if the employer doesn't respect things you wouldn't want to work there anyway and this sounds really shitty but like...I don't really care? I have goals and sometimes these bad employers are part of the way to get there? Like is there a way to transition but not professionally?

And I don't know about my family because my parents aren't the best but they're also not bad but they'd be really against it (ngl my mum's kinda homophobic and transphobic and my dad's like 'people can do what they want but i disagree with it') so I don't really know what to do with that

I also don't know what to do to transition and my parents monitor my search history so...

Like obviously haircut and binder and eventually chop-tits-off surgery but like...is there anything else I should know about? And anyway, does healthcare cover these or do I have to pay out of pocket? And how do hormones work like I've heard people talk about shots but I'm super scared of needles :0

P.S. Does Nikita (Nicky) sound like a boy name because it is, especially in Slavic countries but I'm not slavic and it sounds like it would be mistaken for a girl's name in English speaking places

P.P.S. I'm sorry this is so long it kind of turned into a sort-my-own-feelings-out thing

Hi <3

Okay so I feel like all of your questions can be answered in the same way: Do what's right for you.

Do YOU like the name Nikita? If so, then use it! Do YOU want a binder? If so, then get one! Do YOU not want to transition at work? If not, then don't!

There's no one right or wrong way to transition. It's all about what feels safest and most authentic to you. You don't have to do something another trans person is doing, and you can do things completely differently than someone with your same identity! It's about what makes you feel good. That doesn't change your identity at all or make you more or less trans.

So honestly, I'd take it slow, if you're unsure. Try wearing some different clothing that you think might make you feel good or cutting/styling your hair a different way. See what makes you feel good and what doesn't.

As far as medical procedures, it really depends on where you live. Some countries cover some things and others don't. But remember those procedures are up to you. You don't HAVE to do any of them, and you certainly don't have a time limit. Same with hormones. There are a lot of options (some injections, some not), all that you should discuss with a doctor to see what's best for your body.

But remember to do what's comfortable for you. <3

______________________

Midnights anon

Hi Cas!!! I hope you’re doing well

It’s midnights anon again! I’ve been thinking about the therapy thing, and I’ve been thinking about my parents (I’ve been trying to get closer to them, so be nicer and stuff. I figured all the stuff about my parents being mean to me was me being sensitive and over exaggerating but I don’t think it is) but I don’t think I should tell them about my feelings. They really just… are bad at the parts of parenting that aren’t for survival. I don’t like my parents. And I don’t think I should come out to them (about my mental health or my identity). It would hurt me more than help.

But now that I’ve been forcing myself to get better, everything seems so difficult and so simple.

The thing with my friends/people in general? I will never be someone’s first choice until I ask. And I do not have anyone who I feel safe enough to be a burden for. I don’t have someone to want to be bothered by me. So I am… alone. I have friends, who I adore, but they all have best friends. And that’s okay! It’s fine. It’s just not time for me to be prioritized by anyone I guess.

The thing with school? I mean, sure I might find pride in my work and school but it’s also what everyone else can do. Everyone else at school can do honors Latin or Ancient Greek or Bio or English. I might feel a bit of joy and, but it’s not that impressive. I might wonder if I’m ahead or behind but no one really cares as long as I’m doing alright. And I don’t really care what others are doing. They do what they need and I do what I need.

The thing with my identity? I don’t know if I’m a boy. Or if I’m genderfluid. Or if I’m gay or bi. But I can barely stomach looking in the mirror so other people’s perception of me doesn’t matter right now.

The thing with my parents? I just won’t tell them things (like I’ve already been doing). I’m just gonna have to force myself to get better. I’m over a week clean, for using glass or keys or even hitting myself (it’s not that much, I know, but it feels like a lot).

Sometimes the weight in my chest hurts. Sometimes the sadness can get too much and I think of relapsing of waiting for someone else to save me. But then I lie down. Then I finish my work and do nothing but something that’ll help me heal, and then I’ll be better. And I’ll be back on my way of being okay.

Also, I’m gonna start drawing on procreate again. I’ve been seeing so much marauders fanart and it makes me SO HAPPY. So when the iPad comes in the mail I’m gonna try being an artist again.

Uhm, yeah! Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a good day :)

Hi <3

I'm so sorry that you feel like you're not a priority for people. That's an awful feeling, and you don't deserve it at all.

I wish I could do more to help, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you for working on finding healthy coping skills like drawing. I would love to see some of your artwork if you're interested in sharing.

Please know that it won't always be like this. I know things are confusing and lonely now but I promise you they will get better. I'm sending you a thousand hugs <3

_______________

Dress anon

Hi Cas! Hope you’re having a good day. So first of all i’m a boy not gender-fluid or trans just a man with he/him pronounce. So my question was if i could wear dresses and skirts while still feeling like a man? I love wearing them sometimes because they look good on me but my friends said i can’t wear them without changing my pronounce or i can’t wear them and still feel like a boy and not a girl. I tried to interest the idea of myself being gender-fluid but after reading Chew me up (but don’t spit me out) by damagecontrol (loved this fic so much!!!) i realized that i don’t feel or have the same thoughts as Regulus when sometimes they doesn’t feel like a man or a woman or gets jealous when woman is naturally feminine. This is just a example btw. So yeah i’m comfortable being a man and doesn’t really feel like it’s necessary changing my pronounces but my friends i should do i’m kind of confused. Sorry if this ask seemed a little defensive but i thought i should just be blunt ab this to get a serious answer. And i read Clandestine a while ago and loved the journey of regulus being trans and accepting the fact that he is a man so i thought that you might give a really helpful advice. Sorry i rambled a lot and yeah hope your days is going great!

Hi!

You ABSOLUTELY can wear a dress and still be a man and use he/him pronouns. There's a difference between gender identity and gender expression. Gender identity is who you are, while gender expression is how you present yourself. So you ARE a man, but you can WEAR something more feminine, and that's completely fine! My brother is a man and uses he/him pronouns and he wears skirts! He wore high heels to my wedding!

So yes, wear the dress, and I know you'll absolutely rock it <3

___________________

@thestarsshineevenwhenhidden

Um ok so im going insane because basically there's this friend thats been touching me like all the time (not weirdly) I have a large friend group and we're always touching hugging sharing food clothes wtv it is we're really close, but we have limits like they're not always touching me and whatever like they're normal about it

But these past few weeks one friend has been excessively touching me like over the top every second of every fucking day they're touching me and i hate it

Especially i think this might be linked to the fact that the mother used to do that to me and i absolutely despised it because i hated her so now when im touched a lot without my permission it reminds me of the mum and yk puts me off

It makes me feel weird like i need to burst out of my skin like theres an itch just beneath it drives me insane i geniunely cannot explain the disgusting hateful terrifying feeling that overwhelmes me

But they're sensitive so i cant even hint at it without hurting their feelings

Anyway sorry for bothering you love <3

Hi!

I think the thing is, your body is yours to control, and your friend has to remember this. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with kindly telling your friend you don't want to be touched. I think I would just approach it by like...pulling them aside one day when things are good, and calmly explaining to them that, for reasons that have nothing to do with them, you have some issues with physical contact. So sometimes, you might ask for some space, and it's NOT THEM, it's just you. And you want to make sure they know it's not personal. Maybe work with them to come up with a signal to stop touching you, that way they don't feel called out in front of the group. And then let them have some time to process that. And then next time it happens, make sure to actually say something. Use your signal or quietly ask them to stop, and hold them to it. Because it's okay to have boundaries- you need to know it's okay, and so do they.

_________________

sk anon

Hello,

I have this silly problem chewing at me and I don't know how to stop feeling like this.

I have a fandom discord group chat and in there I mainly talk with these two other people, let's call them K and S.

S has been there since the beginning of the group chat 2 months ago and we talked a lil bit at that time.

K joined more recently, I think it's gonna be a month next week.

A while after MK joined, the three of us started bonding a lot in the group chat, we'd talk about fan fiction, plot our own, laugh and chat about music for hours.

Outside the chat, me and S always talked and I thought we were good friends.

Now, nearly everyday K and S mention how they are talking through DMs all the time and it shows that they are so close and it's making me feel so left out. Usually from what I can gather of their texts in the group chat S will come to K freaking out about things like she used to do in the chat to me.

They seem so close so fast, even though I was part of that equation.

All I want is to stop feeling like things are happening and nobody cares to tell me, stop feeling left out or like I've done something wrong and nobody likes me in that group chat anymore. It hurts every time they mention how they've been talking about something that they could be sharing in the chat really.

And now I've been writing a fic that they both helped me plot and I had asked K a long time ago to beta read it and she seemed super excited and then she never got back to me. I didn't think much of it at the time but now that I have more chapters and I reached out again, she did the same thing! It feels like she has it out for me and purposefully likes keeping me out of the loop of whatever her and S are talking about.

I mean K mentioning how her and S talked in the chat is always unprompted and honestly info that nobody even asked about, it just feels like K is waving it in everyone's face how they talk all the time and S may be nice to everyone but she's K's friend first and it hurts.

I thought that was a safe space for me and I really liked talking with S and hanging out there and now it's turned into this huge thing.

I 've tried to bond with other people in the group chat, I've tried to just think "This really isn't going to affect me in the long run, it's just a brief thing." but I'm still so hurt and now this happens like every day!

I also run the discord group chat so it's not like I can leave and I run with other people, it's not like kicking them out would be fair or even something anyone else would be okay with. I'm just lost for what to do.

I could leave the chat, in all truth but I know how upset I'm going to be about it since that was my fandom space to freak out and bond and everything.

Anyway, sorry for the rant! But what do you think? What would you do?

Hi!

I think this is a hard one because as much as I understand how you're feeling (and I've definitely been there before), I don't think anything has been done on purpose. So I feel like calling them out would just make it worse. Like...sometimes people just really click and it SUCKs to not be a part of that, but it's also like...you can;t stop it, you know?

If it was me, I think I would message S separately and be honest about feeling not as close lately. Don't mention K, just say that you feel like you're not talking as much, and you wish you could talk more. See what S says from there. Phrase it like you really value the friendship and you feel like you're growing apart. I think if S values you too, they'll make more effort. And if they don't...it shows maybe they weren't as caring as you thought.

I'm sorry, I know that probably wasn't the answer you wanted <3

[iluvchick3nz]

“He picks me up all the time” erm we need more of Finn picking up his boyfriends ASAPPPOO

So sorry this took so long. I've been busy-busy, so I've been spacing out my posts until I can write some more. Keep the asks coming though, I love love LOVE receiving prompts! <3

Have some Finn having fun tossing around his boys! All credits to @lumosinlove !!

“Let’s go, Lo baby,” Finn said. He grabbed Logan’s body from the bed and picked him up bridal style. Logan let out a wheezing noise.

“Fish.”

“Nope, we gotta go.” Finn was grinning down at him and placed a smacking kiss on his forehead. “It’s Christmas!”

“Non, it’s not,” Logan sighed. He burrowed his face into Finn’s neck. “That’s tomorrow.”

Finn nodded enthusiastically as he carried Logan out into the living room. “Right, but Leo’s doing food prep today for dinner tomorrow. Loads of people are coming over, baby, we gotta help.”

Logan groaned. “Café.”

“Right here, honey,” Leo’s voice came. He was stood in the kitchen dressed in the cute reindeer apron Finn had bought him for this exact day, smiling with a mug in his hand. “Put some cinnamon in it, too. And some homemade whipped cream.”

Logan smiled at him. “Thank you.” He jostled Finn’s shoulders. “Down.”

“Nope, not yet.” He boosted Logan up. “Here we go.” And with that, he ran around the counter, making a zoom sound, and stopped right in front of Leo. “Here, Le, Santa brought you a present.”

Leo raised his eyebrows amusedly. “Santa, huh?”

“Yup.” Finn’s grin was sly. “Sexy Santa, too. He forgot his suit and hat, though.”

Leo held out his arms. “It’s okay. I prefer him without it.” He transitioned Logan from Finn’s arms to his own and kissed his forehead. Logan preened under the attention. “My favorite gift ever.”

Finn waggled his eyebrows. “Want me to wrap him up for you? Give me five minutes.”

Leo snorted. “We don’t have time.” Logan reached up to play with his curls and drew him down into a kiss. Leo smiled into it. “Although, you do make a very convincing argument.” With a last kiss, he placed Logan back in Finn’s arms. “Go get dressed, sweethearts. I’ve got coffee ready, some oatmeal, and then it’s show time.”

“On it, butter.” Finn spun a one-eighty, making Logan laugh, and ran back into their bedroom. “Don’t worry, Le!” he called. “Santa will be back with your present in a jiffy!” There was a small silence. “Hey, Le! If I get a sexy Santa costume, can I get you a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit, and then we can unwrap our gift together?”

Leo shook his head fondly. “Whatever you want sweetheart!” He bit his lip. “Tell you what, honey, if we can get the meat marinating and the desserts in the oven by lunch, I’ll give you a present.”

There were two sharp intakes of breath. “On it!”

***

“Finn!”

Logan opened his eyes from where he was laying beneath the shade of a tree. He squinted against the sun filtering through the leaves and turned his head, breaking out into a smile. He didn’t know how or why, but Finn had Leo over his shoulder, Leo still with the football they were throwing in his hands. Leo was laughing, curls dangling towards the ground. Finn was running towards Logan a little lopsidely with that gorgeous crooked smile. Logan pushed himself up on his elbows to greet them, grinning up at them as Finn stopped beside their picnic blanket. 

“Hi, gorgeous.”

“Rouge.” He peered around Finn’s legs to meet Leo’s red face. “Why is soleil upside down?”

Finn gave Leo’s butt a loving smack. “I wanted to demonstrate my football tackle.”

“Finn,” Leo laughed. “This is not a football tackle.”

Finn shrugged. “It’s like… if a football tackle was combined with a touchdown. The goal is to carry you into the endzone, Le.” 

“Harz, that is not how football-”

But Finn interrupted him by spinning around a few times before crouching down to put Leo on his feet. He pressed a burst of kisses to Leo’s cheek. “Howdy, baby. You okay?”

Leo pinched his hips. “That was a lot of spinning.”

Finn waggled his eyebrows. “Fun, right?”

Leo giggled in the twinkly way he did. It lit Logan up, and he reached up to grab at Leo’s hand. “Assieds-toi, mon amour.”

Leo sat down with an oof and flopped down on Logan’s chest. “How’s your nap, sweetheart?”

“Good,” Logan sighed. “Rouge, ici.”

Finn laid himself down on Logan’s other shoulder. He looked contemplative. “Hey, Lo, do you think I could use you as a football?” He grinned sharply. “Leo and I could toss you in between us.”

Logan slapped his chest, but blushed anyways. Leo’s laugh was light in his ear and he leaned into their bodies as he closed his eyes, allowing the summer heat to work its way into his body. He was warm all over as he drifted off to sleep.

***

“Fish, this is not going to-”

“No, no, hold on, I can do it-”

“Rouge, you’re going to drop me-!”

“Oof.”

Leo stabilized himself on the ground to keep from falling on Logan and Finn, who were pressed into the couch at an awkward angle. Finn was attempting to lift them both up, a feat he assured them he could accomplish. So far, it had proven less than easy.

“Finn,” Leo sighed. “Combined Logan and I are almost four hundred pounds. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Nuh-uh,” Finn protested, righting himself with a kiss to Logan’s cheek. “I can squat four twenty-five for reps, peanut butter. I can totally carry you.”

“Hm, so strong,” Logan said appreciatively as he ran his hands up and down Finn’s biceps. 

Finn winked at him. “Just for you, baby.” He jumped a couple times them squatted down with a look behind his shoulder at Leo. “C’mon, Le, up.”

Leo sighed again. “Okay,” he conceded. He jumped on Finn’s back and gripped him with his limbs. “Just be careful, sweetheart. We’ve gotta go back after the All-Star break, and coach would kill us if you got injured. And Lo’s gotta make it back to New York in one piece.”

“It’ll be fine, trust me, baby.” He patted Leo’s thighs. “You secure, nutter butter?”

“So secure.”

“All righty.” He guided Logan into standing on the coach and reached out for him. “C’mere, Lolo.”

“That’s not my name.”

“Lo, baby. Let’s go, I wanna do it.”

“D’accord. D’accord, here we go.”

Logan gingerly wrapped his legs around Finn and Leo’s bodies, hooking his ankles into Leo’s lower back. His hands gripped around Finn’s neck. 

“Rouge, am I choking you?”

“Not now, but you can later.”

“Harz, non-”

“What do you mean, ‘non’? I’ll have you know, I’m totally game for-”

“Guys,” Leo interrupted with a laugh. “Guys, we’re doing it.”

“Oh,” Finn gasped. “Oh, oh, hey! Yes, look at that!” Finn let out a whoop and jostled Logan around his butt. “Let’s fucking go! Gonna carry both my boys around everywhere.”

Logan raised his eyebrows. “I dare you to take two steps.”

“You just watch.” Finn took two shaky steps backward, then spun and attempted to walk around the couch. Each stride was easier and easier, and Logan and Leo watched a pleased grin take over his face. “Would ya look at that?” He reached one arm around to pat at Leo blindly. “Hey, wanna walk down the aisle like this?”

“No,” Leo laughed. “That’d be ridiculous.”

“Not really. I don’t think it’d surprise anybody.”

Logan laughed and kissed him. “Only you, rouge.”

“No,” Finn retorted with a smile. He was just wandering around the apartment now, aimlessly meandering. “You two seem to be enjoying this.”

Leo got a full view of Logan’s twinkling eyes. “Ouais. Ouais, you know, I am.”

Leo tucked his chin over Finn’s shoulder. “Me, too. Maybe we do walk down the aisle like this.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Finn did a little shimmy and headed towards their bedroom. “Okay, now let’s go to the park and see how far I can run with you.”

“Non,” Logan said. He was smirking. “I think I want you to toss me around a little more.”

“Oh yeah? Get ready baby.”

And all Logan and Leo could do was laugh as Logan was launched onto their bed.