#they are just naturally 50% more disgusting

[lookthetart]

Nothing like a train trip to remember you how disgusting men - and expecially old men - are

[usersanon]

Please be aware of the user @/saintsugu also known as Ezra.

Past pseudonyms include (but are not limited to: @/aces_high

I never thought that I would have to create a post like this. In my near 12 years on the internet, I never thought I would have to write down the words I am about to type, especially about a fellow fanfic creator, one I used to enjoy before I found out about the type of person he really is. I apologise for the long post, however I want to make sure I am as thorough as possible so I can bring this person to justice.

Before opening the read more/ continuing with this post, please read the trigger warnings. This will deal with heavy topics, ones that make me sick to my stomach. I apologise for all of the censoring in this post as well.

TW: P*DOPHILIA, UNDER*GE, SEXUALIZATION OF EDS AND SH

I would just like to start off by saying how difficult this post is for me to write. I have had to take multiple breaks while typing this out. I have felt disgusted since I first saw the posts on his twitter. Like I need to take a shower and scrub myself clean, however, at the same time I feel like I cannot sit idly by while Ezra still has a platform.

The posts I have seen on his twitter, what he actively endorses is just disgusting and predatory in nature. I have done my best to censor them so as to not continue the spread of such material. As of the time of this post, his twitter is still public.

HIS TWITTER (X) IS CURRENTLY UNDER THE NAME @/ezr_ace

First, I’ll give evidence I have to prove that the twitter account stated above is in fact his. I was wary at first as well, however, I believe this evidence in fact proves that beyond reasonable doubt that the account is his.

The obvious reasoning is as follows: Ezra goes by the pseudonym Ezra currently, and has gone by the pseudonym Ace in the past. Both the twitter account and his tumblr state that he is 21. Both twitter and tumblr themes are the same in nature, featuring manga panels of Suguru edited in the same way.

If you’re familiar with Ezra at all, you would know that they are very close with another user, Flora, also known as @/fyogasm. Previously known as @/pussydrunkfyodor on tumblr. When going through the followers of this twitter account, I noticed someone by the name of Flora following him (one of about 34 followers), with the user @/floratumblr. This account had their tumblr linked in the bio of the profile, and it led straight to Flora’s tumblr. Screen recording is posted below:

UPDATE: since Ezra has been called out, Flora has unfollowed Ezra’s Twitter as well as deleted her account. I can only assume it is to try and dodge the backlash of being associated with him. Here are screenshots proving they are moots/ interacting with each other.

Note: I do not know what this means for the content of Flora’s character. All I can say for certain is that she is close friends with him (to the point they have each others numbers), and that she follows his Twitter. I did not dive deep into her Twitter before she deleted it. But I can say that I do believe she knew the content he was posting about, otherwise she wouldn’t have deleted her Twitter the second he was called out while remaining mutuals with him on tumblr.

UPDATE 1/19/24 1:50 pm: Since creating this post, Flora has reached out and stated that they have broken all contact with Ezra. They state that they are not frequently on twitter, and was completely unaware of the type of content he was posting on the account. They state that the content found on the account has made them feel sick and that they are no longer friends anymore.

Back to the main point, this only adds to the similarities listed above. A close mutual that he has been seen actively talking to on his tumblr also follows him on twitter, endorsing his behavior. This alone was too much for me to ignore. However, one final factor came into play that solidifies that user ezr_ace and user saintsugu are the same Ezra.

He not only posted to his tumblr about hateful anon messages, but also his twitter at the same time. Right after the messages were sent, he tweeted the following, as well as posted the following messages on his tumblr. Screenshots with time stamps posted below:

This for me, confirms that the two accounts are the same. There are simply too many coincidences for me to ignore. I feel that there is no argument about the validity of the accounts, as there are just too many similarities to ignore. Now, I can delve into what the post is really about. The content of the Twitter account.

P*DOPHILLIC ACTIONS AND UNDRE*GE CONTENT.

To put it simply, I was horrified when I first opened the profile to be greeted with Shotacon artwork. Full on artwork of an adult Toji a*saulting a child Gojo. In this artwork, Gojo looks as if he can be no older than 10. Most of the image is censored for obvious reasons, however, part of the screenshot appears in the video above as well. Proving that it cannot have been doctored in any way.

As you can see, the post is tagged with tw sh*ta. For anyone unaware, the definition of Sh*ta is as follows: “Sh*ta is a term used in manga and anime fandoms to indicate sex involving an under*ge boy.” (Fanlore.org) Aka, CP.

It is disgusting to see someone who I once enjoyed, once trusted, interact with literal cp. Drawing or not, the effect of it is still massive. Viewing children (ANYONE UNDER*GE) in a sexual nature is harmful to everyone. It breaches past dark content into something horrible. Something dangerous.

I felt sick seeing someone be as brazen as to repost a picture of a child being a*saulted. To get off on it. It is p*dophilic. That is the only way it can be put.

Further on this, he has written smut of, in his words, “not necessarily under*ge” Suguru in highschool. There is a whole thread on it on his profile, however, I will not be showing it here. The screenshot below describes the nature of the whole post from his own words.

When I first read “not necessarily under*ge”, my first and only question was literally, what the fuck does that mean? Either he is under*ge or not. There is not some fuzzy grey area coating the world between adults and children.

But sure, give him the benefit of the doubt. That does not excuse him liking multiple posts tagged with under*ge content. The most recent being less than an hour ago. Posts censored to the best of my ability below.

These posts all point to the same thing. The disgusting, undeniable truth that this man is attracted to under*ge content. Content depicting minors in sexual scenarios. Content that no member of society should ever consume. He is a p*dophile. For viewing this content of his own accord. For liking it, for reblogging it. For creating it on his own. He is a disgusting person.

FOLLOWING MINORS.

Him interacting with content like that above, consuming it in any capacity at all makes him unsafe to be around. For anyone. Especially minors.

Even though his blog is 18+, even though he preaches that minors should stay away from his blog. He still found himself following a 16 year old. Becoming mutuals with them. The fact this person is 16 is clearly displayed on their blog as well (in their pinned post).

Screenshots shown below. The individual’s user is censored out as, once again, they are a minor and I don’t feel they should have to be wrapped up in this mess.

Once again, Ezra is someone who preaches about minors staying out of adult spaces. Multiple times he has complained on his blog about minors following him and having to block them. You would think he does the same and would be more careful about curating his online spaces, however it he fails to do that.

I don’t believe this can be boiled down to a simple case of missing the age in their bio— this user has their age in their pinned post, as well as their about me. Along with the sexualisation of minors prevalent on his Twitter, it makes me extremely uncomfortable to know that he is following a minor in any capacity. I’m sure it would make anyone.

SEXUALIZING EDS AND SH.

To end the laundry list of posts on his twitter, we have him writing smut glorifying eds, as well as liking posts depicting sh in a sexual light. As always, screenshots are shown below, censored to the best of my ability.

In the post listed above, Suguru is described in a way that is hard to stomach. While it is not nearly as bad as everything else stated above, I feel it is still necessary to include, especially because in this pairing he has often described and implied Suguru to be a minor. There is a line and he has crossed it several times, this is just another example of such. Serving as the cherry on top to further demonstrate his mindset.

Dark content and discussion of these subjects in fiction are not the problem. The disturbing part of this is that Ezra often uses these tropes within his min*r/adult sexual fantasies, and when paired with the sh*ta and under*ge content, leaves a very poor taste in the mouth. It comes across as not only a gross f*tishization, but a gross f*tishization of taking advantage of a minor that way.

A DISCUSSION ON THE LIMITS OF DARK CONTENT.

In this section, I feel that it is important to touch on how dark content plays into all of this. I’d like to expressly state that this is NOT a condemnation of dark content or its consumption.

Dark fiction and dark content are a fine line. It’s a fantastic tool for exploring taboos and emotions or experiences that aren’t often talked about openly. DC creates what is essentially a safe space for exploring things that are not typically done or seen in the real world, with the knowledge that writing or engaging with it does not necessarily mean condoning it. That being said, this callout post is NOT about being anti-dc. Dark content is a literary or artistic tool. Keeping all of this in mind, to actively engage with sh*ta content in which a character is depicted sexually not only as a minor, but as a child, and to be sexually aroused by that image is the definition of p*dophilia. Writing or drawing children and engaging with that content in a sexual capacity is p*dophilia and at the very least, has p*dophilic tendencies. This is not dark content, this is p*dophilia.

It is one thing to write or create dark fiction between adults for the purpose of gratification or exploration of social dynamics and it is entirely another to engage with art of a child engaging in sexual acts with an adult for (seemingly) the intent purpose of sexual gratification. Everyone draws their own line, but it is also important to acknowledge that there are some depictions of taboo subjects that border (if not fully step-into) harmful, p*dophilic content that perpetuates behavior and mental tendencies that truly are dangerous.

To engage with a drawing of a child and a full grown adult in sexual acts for the purpose of sexual gratification is incredibly fucked up. And the fact that minor and adult p*rnography are not just common, but dominating Ezra's twitter page, should be an absolute red flag. It’s okay to acknowledge that dark content is a medium for fiction while also acknowledging that there are some ways of engaging with it that are harmful, especially when it is so glaringly obvious that the content is between a child and an adult (the art I am talking about specifically really is a child. I don’t urge anyone to look at it, but it is gojo depicted as a child of maybe 8 - 10 years old. I’m not using the term child as an umbrella term for minors here).

The problem, stated very plainly, is that the post/s he is engaging with are sexual depictions of a child with the purpose of sexual gratification. That’s the point here. It’s not the dark content, but rather that he is retweeting posts depicting a child of about 8-10 engaged in sexual acts and created for the purpose of sexual gratification.

Once again, this is not a condemnation of dark content. Dark content can be used in so many valuable ways— facing trauma, dealing with taboo subjects, exploring the literary world in a safe and healthy way. As someone who actively consumes dark content, I will be the first to tell you this. However there should always be limits to the types of content produced. Gaining any kind of gratification from looking at a child being a*saulted is disgusting. It is p*dophillic. Especially when he actively engages with minors on his platform.

This is not a conversation of morals— which side is right and wrong. But rather a conversation about the safety of children. This is not a conversation about ageing up as that is not what he is doing. The characters being depicted here are not being aged up, rather are being depicted as minors, or literal children being used for the sexual gratification of adults.

The issue here is a p*dophile. Not dark content. Not anything else.

CONCLUSION.

I’ll be honest, post was extremely hard for me to create. Discovering that someone I once thought was close to me is this kind of person feels disgusting and abhorrent. I honestly wish I never had the displeasure of meeting them in the first place.

Hopefully, by the end of this post you are able to see the kind of person Ezra really is. I could not be silent about this. I knew that the moment all I found all of this out. This post has been very difficult for me to write, but I hope by the end of it some good will come. Some people will be able to avoid interacting with this man.

I believe Ezra needs professional help, and truly hope that he is able to get it some day soon.

Please be careful with who you interact with on the Internet. Adults and minors alike, there are predators everywhere. Please try your best to stay safe in your own online spaces. All of the love in my heart goes out to anyone who has survived child expl*itation. I hope for nothing but the best for you in the future.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this post. I know it is long and triggering for most people. I hope you all have wonderful days and try your best to take care of yourself.

Listed below are some important numbers I would like to bring awareness to before this post is over.

National Child Ab*se Hotline (USA): 1-800-422-4453

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (USA): 1-800-843-5678

The National Sexual A*sault Hotline (USA): 1-800-656-4673

Childline (UK): 0800-1111

International Child Helpline: 116-111

TLDR: Ezra has a Twitter account where he retweeted artwork of a child gojo being a*saulted by an adult toji. He liked as well as created posts depicting under*ge characters (literally tagged with ‘under*ge’). All while being mutuals with a 16 year old on tumblr.

Tags used to try and spread awareness. I tried to mostly include fandoms that he is in.

UPDATE: lmfao, he has since deleted the retweet of sh*ta gojo after he was called out. Literally proving that it was him.

[hinakazino]

⏳ REX LAPIS & THE MORTAL ⌛️

warnings: pure angst, hanaki disease referenced, zhongli struggling between friendship and love (?), unrequited love, maybe requited if you squint.

Zhongli not knowing how to feel when you confess your love for him. He can't lie, you're quite bold, a mortal daring to express their admiration so valiantly to their god. However, his heart is already taken by another.

Zhongli, or better yet Morax still remises about her. The long lost god of dust, with her soft grey silky locks billowing in the wind, her kind eyes and smile as she greeted him to discuss another of her inventions. Her silhouette atop a mountain in her signature dress and star-imbued sleeves. Zhongli's eyes have a look of gentleness in them you've noticed when she is in his mind. Honestly, you're already grateful enough to be this close to the Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon. You're but a human who managed to capture the hearts of the adepti with your kind nature, happy energy, and curiosity.

But even with all this, you long for more. You wish for the gaze of not just your archon's closest companions but him himself. It is a cruel thing, you're aware, humans and their untamable desires. In the end you ended up confessing, on the basis of not wanting to lie to your god and also why not? It was a horrid mistake.

After a moment of awkward silence, Morax's eyes once soft seemed to have an empty glare. Filled with disgust, anger, disappointment? You wouldn't know, all you registered that day was him telling you to leave and not get wrapped up in fantasies as a human.

That should've been the end of it, is what you thought, and what Zhongli thought. Nonetheless you proved to both yourself and him that it seems humans are quite stubborn. Despite the obvious pain that weighed on your heart from rejection you continued asking for his hand.

Before you had voiced it with the intent of being his equal. Which you soon realized wouldn't suffice. Zhongli wasn't one to sugarcoat his words, "Guizhong, she was the one meant for me. There is no one who can replace her in Liyue and in all of Teyvat. Do not test my patience, you've already stirred up less than pleasant memories little one".

Perhaps you had too much hope, as soon you began degrading yourself to the point you'd offered your hand in marriage not as an equal, but as a worshipper. To this, Zhongli had escorted you to the Guizhong ballista, where he proceeded to explain quite fondly the creator of said machine.

Maybe even Morax himself realized what a heartstabbing punishment this was. Having you listen to him ramble on and on for half an hour about her before ending with the point that this is exactly the key difference between you and Guizhong.

"You have to understand, you are but a mortal, she was a goddess. Your affections would be better directed elsewhere. This is the last I will tolerate this, I bid you a good day".

Zhongli should've been happy, because after that day your presence was nowhere to be found. Well, not exactly, although you had stopped visiting the adepti's and performing your standard rituals for him. The Geo Archon was well aware of all who resided in Liyue and knew you were still there too.

Could it be potentially you had broken into the Geo Archon's heart? No, that was impossible, all he did was feel pity for you obviously. "Why do I keep imagining the impossible..." you repeated to yourself, sitting inside the comfort of your room as you glanced out your window at the lovely scenery outside.

But you knew that even a persons state of mind could change how they perceived the world and right now everything just felt dull. The only memory present in your mind was replaying itself over and over again, it wasn't pleasant.

You're quite certain you'd confessed to Rex Lapis more than 50 times now, pretty much 5 years or more in your life. Yet his last message to you that day was the final straw.

It was so very frustrating, how your feelings towards him just wouldn't go away. You had attempted to build other romantic relationships to no avail. It was suffocating that your emotions just wouldn't disappear, they just couldn't be buried.

Oh but they can, you thought to yourself suddenly, and afterwards your last thought was to find true love in your next lifetime. As on a cool and calm night, you had laid yourself to rest.

The next day, no particular day really. Randomly out of the blue, Zhongli had heard of you once again after you distanced yourself from him.

It confused him, his adepti didn't dwell on his love life much. It was no secret they knew you harbored affections for him. However, that wasn't the reason why he found them all gathered here today.

As he approached them, his fellow adepti had parted a path so he could see for himself the cause of commotion. There, laying on a soft cushion was you.

Lifeless. Dry. Your eyes were softly shut, your face devoid of any emotion with the exception of a small titled smile on your face. But even that Zhongli could tell may have perhaps been his adepti's doing as part of their little ceremony for you. It became quite obvious then that you had decided to end your life due to the pain. Or, maybe the pain had ended you because no one could ignore the obvious flower that now sprouted from your chest. Bright and lovely, standing proud with petals that glowed amber like Cor Lapis.

[palajae]

episode two. | park jay

PAIRING ▸ host!jay x reader

GENRE ▸ ouran high school host club!au, high school! au, romance, fluff, angst, humor

WC ▸ 4.2k

SUMMARY ▸ host park jay: the cool and calculated type. as the vice president and brain of the en-host club, jay is more than quick and entertaining. you’ll never get bored with all the things he does and says—if you ever get the chance to meet him.

AKA episode two of the kiss, kiss, fall in love! series

AN/NOTES ▸ mentions of food?? toxic family issues (specifically daddy issues), not proofread

sorry for the wait but here is the second part! <3 also i swear i love jay and his father this was just for the plot okay don’t come for me 😭🙏

EPISODE 2. The Job of the Class Top Student! 

you get up, making sure to push the chair back with a loud screech so that everyone could hear. you feel the eyes boring holes into your back. if anyone looked closely, they would notice how your eyes flickered across the room. searching—checking. 

but no one was, most were still on the first page of the exam and had six more pages to go. 

you keep a straight and composed face as you walk up to the teacher’s desk, inaudible whispers and shocked stares going in one ear and out the other. 

after all, who finishes the midterm with 50 minutes left? 

you don’t falter, you don’t let your mask slip. however that rule is excused when it comes to one person. your eyes fall on his hunched over silhouette, smirking just the slightest as he flips to the last page of the exam. 

you and park jay. park jay and you. the class’s designated number one and two ranked students. who was which was yet to be confirmed. 

everyone wondered who would end up on top. there must’ve been a rivalry, a game, a secret enemies to lovers? 

to you, it was anything but that. 

it was an offense—being compared to park jay. sure, he was brilliant. you could at least admit that. 

but he was also a member of the en-host club. the vice president, at that. 

you shivered in disgust the first time you found out that he co-founded the club along with lee heeseung. you would expect no less of him, but jay, seriously? 

what would his father think? 

you had no time for trivial stuff like acting as a host and pleasing those who weren’t worthy of your company. 

he wasted hours every day, every week, at and for that club. 

you didn’t understand. 

why was jay pretending to be someone he wasn’t? 

every time someone would mention his name, you would snort and turn your head to the side. 

“that player? don’t count yourself special or lucky. he just wants attention from anyone he can get it from.” 

you vowed to beat him. how could you ever lose to the host, park jay? 

“how are you, mr. park?”

you bow gracefully, a practiced smile plastered on your face. 

you hated it—how jay was a splitting image of his father. you hated any and every reminder of him. 

and just like the two of you, your families were rivals. they had to have been, after all they both competed in the same industries and markets. 

it was only natural that jay’s father took a liking to you. the one who was as gifted as his son, if not better. 

the one who was diligent, compliant, and charismatic. you were the one raised properly. you didn’t make rash decisions that wasted your time and future. 

“good. i heard my son has been troubling you recently. in physics, was it?”

your smile tightens. “of course not, sir. i’m not sure if jay told you, but we recently received a group presentation. he got paired with the kang family’s son.”

when jay got put with the kid who barely paid attention in class, let alone showed up to class, you couldn’t hide your triumphant smile. 

he pats you on the back, “of course. you know i just say that as a joke.”

you pretend to laugh it off, bowing again before excusing yourself to the bathroom and taking your leave. 

when you reach the mirror, you stare at yourself. you looked aggravated, confused, lost. because you were. all because you knew what mr. park was implying. he thought the same as you—it’s why the two of you grew close.

were you really going to let mr. park’s son overtake you in a class? 

while you spent most of your time studying and working, his failure of a son who spent his time messing around had the same grades as you, if not better?

he was challenging you and your future. 

you despised park jay. 

gasps and whispers of awe fill the room. you stand near the back, face unreadable. 

chapter 9 test scores: 

park jay - 99 

y/l/n y/n - 96

…..

yujin nudges your shoulder with a concerned look. “are you okay? i know you spent four hours cramming for that test…”

you don’t say anything and stalk off. 

your room gets the brunt force of your emotions. you rip, crumple up, and trash your notes. your binders and notebooks go flying as you shove and fling them onto the ground with as much strength as you can. 

it was a mess. you were a mess.

how did he do better than you? you know for a fact he didn’t study as much as you did. he didn’t waste hours and hours reviewing the material and practicing. how did he do it?

there must be a reason, you resolve. something must be going on in that host club. 

you vow to figure the truth about jay. 

“what do you think he does there? seduce the girls into giving him answers?”

ningning laughs, “don’t be ridiculous.”

she pauses, “unless…?”

you huff, rolling your eyes. “i need to find out. this isn’t right.”

“you really don’t. you know you’re kinda—what’s the word? obsessed.”

“with jay,” she adds, “do you like him or something?”

you point a finger harshly, accusatorily, at ningning. 

“you know how i feel. my mother and father won’t be pleased. let’s not forget about his father.”

she only laughs, reaching out to put down your hand as you groan in frustration. 

“you sound like draco malfoy, you’re so funny. but go ahead with your plan, i’m not stopping you.”

you rub your temples in frustration. “am i about to make a mistake? is this a bad idea?”

ningning only shakes her head like a parent chiding their kid, “oh, y/n. you know you don’t ever have bad ideas or make mistakes.”

anyways, she was wrong. 

the moment you walked—more like burst—into the en-host club, all eyes were on you. 

you were used to it, but not like this. not like everyone was seeing a ghost. your eyes flit around the room, studying the infamous place. the host club was surprisingly spacious and intricate. you supposed it wasn’t that bad of an area. 

“y/n,” heeseung is the first to greet you and extend out his hand. you almost glare at it. 

“certainly did not expect to see you here. a pleasant surprise nonetheless,” he adds after flinching at your icy gaze. heeseung was the one to turn jay—disillusion him and make your life that much more difficult. 

“have the rumors finally piqued your curiosity? who exactly-“

you hold out a hand to cut him off, “save it. i’m only here to speak to jay.” 

saying his name out left a bitter aftertaste on your tongue. more whispers break out and you grit your teeth. 

heeseung’s eyes widen as jake appears with a grin. great, now you were starting to attract even more attention. 

“so you finally succumbed, huh?”

your eyes narrow. 

“to what, exactly?”

“you know, for being one of the brightest students in our grade, you can be quite dense sometimes.”

“and for being one of the most popular students in our grade, you can be quite pitiful sometimes, did you know that?”

“y/n.”

you bite back your next words at the appearance of the person of your request. jay sends a look to the other hosts, and they leave you two alone reluctantly. 

“what do you want?”

at first, you don’t say anything. 

when you don’t respond, his gaze hardens. “did my father send you?”

you ignore him. “i’m here to observe the club. and you.” 

you hold eye contact until jay finally breaks it and sighs, “fine. i could care less.” 

to your surprise, jay doesn’t say anything else. and in your awkwardness, you realize you have no choice but to follow him around or stand there like a loser. and you were anything but a loser. 

you didn’t know how this whole club thing really worked, anyway. 

you check the clock. how long would this take? how much time of yours would be wasted?

you can’t believe it. the fact that you wasted two hours or that jay was busily working, you’re not sure. probably both. 

all he did was sit down at one of the tables with his laptop. no words were exchanged when you sat stiffly across from him. it’s still a bit uncomfortable, being in this place with no purpose or goal other than to spy on jay (not to forget the girls absolutely shellshocked at your presence in the club.) 

he typed quite fast, you note by the sound of the keys clicking harshly. jay looked focused, significantly more than when he took chemistry quizzes. 

you attempt to sneakily glance at his screen. eventually, you get a crick in your neck and you sigh. 

“what are you doing?”

“running the statistics for the club’s activities this week,” he responds curtly. 

after about an hour, you frown. where were all the girls? where was his cheesy flirting and hosting that they all supposedly did?

there’s no way he was actually just that busy working?  

you walk off without another word. 

“it doesn’t make any sense,” you furiously chew your salad, “i need to go back.”

“really?” ningning replies with an edge in her voice. 

you slam your fork down. “i-i mean, he stays there until five! that means he doesn’t arrive home for another thirty minutes and that reduces his study time to around five to six hours, considering dinner and washing up. then i have to take into account the fact that his bedtime must be around twelve since he has nonexistent eye bags—“

ningning stuffs a tomato into your mouth. 

“if this isn’t obsessed, i don’t know what is.”

you glare at her as you chew. “is not. being obsessed means you have to have interest in the person or subject.” 

ningning mutters something under her breath. 

somehow, your eyes fall on jay sitting with his host club friends. his arms are relaxed behind his head, as if he was purposely flaunting off to everyone in the room. you want to slap the tinted glasses he wore, you could barely see his eyes. you never knew what he was thinking. 

you curse jay internally. 

ningning gets up. “anyways, i’ll see you in calculus later.”

you come to your senses again, nodding at her. “let me know if you need any more help on the problem set.”

she grins, patting your head. 

“thanks, good luck getting his attention.” 

“whose?” you call out but she’s already gone, leaving you to ponder your own thoughts. 

the sound of silverware scraping the plates makes you cringe. besides that, there was complete silence in the dining hall. 

you knew what was coming. 

“i heard jay scored the highest on the last physics exam.” 

you look down. “yes, father.”

you were used to it. 

“how long did you prepare for it? i thought i raised you properly,” his cold voice never failed to put a shiver down your spine. 

“i’m sorry. i’ll do better next time…” you barely manage to get out. 

you pray he’s finished. 

“i heard he barely studied. spends all his time at that horrid club, yet he scored better. interesting.”

you wipe your mouth before standing up. “i’m going to finish my homework. i promise i’ll work harder, father.”

you leave the table with clenched fists. every freaking time. 

you want to punch the wall, scream and kick. it wasn’t fair. you gave your all to make your parents proud, and it was never enough. when would you be enough for them? 

you told yourself every time, that you weren’t affected. it didn’t matter.

yet it still hurt. 

you’re on autopilot the entire day at school. you’re in and out, brain fuzzy. indeed, those were the consequences of a sleepless, turning and tossing kind of night.

“-y/n?” 

you swear, it was so bad you could literally hear your parent’s disappointed voices in your ear. 

“y/n!”

you jolt up in your seat, accidentally knocking a pencil off your desk. your professor eyes you along with the rest of your classmates. along with jay. 

it wasn’t like you to zone out. 

“i’m sorry,” you stammer. “could you repeat the question?”

“i didn’t ask a question,” they raise an eyebrow, making you look down in embarrassment. 

“are you alright? do you need to go to the nurse?”

you decline and apologize hastily, straightening your posture and grabbing your pencil off the floor. your teacher resumes their lecture and you hate how you can still feel jay’s eyes linger on you. 

when class is dismissed, you’re packing up your last notes when you feel eyes on you, once again. it was just you two left in the room.

you already know who it is.

“that wasn’t like you.”

“i know. i don’t need your fake concern,” you spit out. 

his eyes widen as you stand up and shove past him. 

“hey-“

you stop in your tracks, turning around to face jay—the root of all your issues. 

“are you happy now? seeing me like this? you embarrassed me, you won. there’s no need to pretend you care when it’s obvious you don’t. can you even?” 

he isn’t able to get in a single word in as you stalk out. 

by the end of your last class, you hate to admit it, but you’re actually regretting your words. you constantly replay that last moment in class, when you actually saw an ounce of emotion on jay’s otherwise stoic face. when it actually seemed like he got hurt by your words. it couldn’t be, though. 

jay didn’t show his emotion. he didn’t care, unlike you. no matter how much his father compared the two of you, jay did what he wanted and he did it well. 

while you hated to see that you were the weak—the jealous one.  

you didn’t mean to take your anger out on him—you knew jay would never intentionally beat you. 

you would. you were the one who needed the validation, and therefore, you had to do your best. you had to be the best in order to beat jay. and yet, you find yourself in another moment of weakness. 

standing in front of the music room, you sigh. here you were once again. when you walk in, you head straight for heeseung.

he’s sitting rather comfortably, cozying up to two random students you’ve never seen before. 

when you clear your throat, heeseung sits up as his eyes widen at the sight of you. “y/n?” 

“i need to speak with jay,” you can’t seem to look him in the eyes. 

“again?” he smirks. 

you exhale slowly, trying your best to keep your cool. “please. it’s urgent.” 

and suddenly, you’re standing in front of him. your hands clasped together, eyes downcast. 

at first, no words are exchanged. you know jay—he won’t be the first to say anything. it takes a minute for you to collect your thoughts. to finally let it sink in that you were here, in this situation, in front of him. 

“i… i didnt mean what i said.” 

“earlier,” you quickly add.

you take a quick glance, only to see the same emotionless expression he always wore. 

“alright.”

you swallow. he stands there. 

jay proceeds to push his glasses further up his nosebridge , “if that’s all, then, i’m a bit busy.”

“r-right. yeah.” 

your eyes follow his back as he begins to walk off. 

“wait! wait.” 

he slows, but doesn’t turn around. 

you scrunch your face up, cringing. “can i-just like, stay? for a moment?”

jay being jay only shrugs. 

and for the second time, you find yourself sitting across from jay. again, he’s simply typing away on his computer. 

no flirting or messing around with the guests. 

your curious eyes wander around the giant room. if you weren’t in the position you were in, born into, maybe you would’ve come here. 

your eyes fall back on jay. maybe you would’ve requested him. his looks weren’t that bad, and when he wasn’t talking school-

you clap a hand over your mouth, horrified at the thought. jay looks at you from over his screen, but his fingers never stop moving. 

you shake your head, as if to physically remove the thought from your head. 

“so… uh, what are you doing?”

“club work. finances, promotion, sponsors. basically everything behind the scenes.”

your eyes squint, “then how are you the vice president?”

he sighs as if he’s used to the question, “beats me.”

“then, you’re not a host? every time i’ve been here, you haven’t done anything host-like.”

“the two times you’ve been here,” he corrects and you roll your eyes. 

“it’s because you’re here.”

“what?”

“you scare off my usual clients, so i cannot host,” he states as a matter of factly. 

your mouth forms a “o,” but you soon cock your head at him. 

“why would i scare off your clients, though?”

his cold eyes glint up at you. “i think that’s a question to ask yourself.”

you stifle a groan. 

“either way, i don’t have many requests since i’m usually busy keeping the club alive.”

you knew it wasn’t true. there were plenty of girls who whispered about him in the halls and glared at you. not that they would ever do anything—you knew they were rightfully scared of you. 

“you’re saying that you’re not popular then.”

“if that’s what you want to think, then sure.”

“and yet, i’m here.” you cough awkwardly. 

“but you are not here for the same reasons,” 

jay stops typing abruptly. he looks at you, and you start spluttering at his implication. 

“there is no way i would ever waste my time here to-for you-“

“yet you’re still sitting right in front of me,” he smirks, “you said what you had to say earlier, no?” 

curse him for being your one weakness. there was no one who could beat you in an argument except park jay. he was so infuriating. 

you slam your hands on the table, “yes. thank you so much for the reminder. but don’t you dare think i’ll go easy on you after today.”

you turn your nose up before leaving. you hated how he always got your heart rate up, palms sweaty and knees weak. jay always riled you up, it was just because of how infuriating he was.

that was the only reason, right?

ningning smoothly slides into the seat next to you, “i heard you went back to the host club?”

your eyes widen. 

“just admit it, you like jay. you realized all the feelings you felt about him were actually, in fact, for him. no need to be embarrassed, everyone else already knows,” she teases. 

you choke but attempt to cover it up with a small ahem, straightening your back. 

“i don’t know what you’re talking about. i only went there because of my curiosity. you know the saying: keep your friends close and enemies closer? yeah, i’m just sizing up my opponent.” 

she sighs, patting you on the head. 

“it’s alright to spend time with jay, you know. you and your families have known each other for a while. plus, you guys are literally the same person—just in different bodies.” 

although she didn’t mean it in that way, you begin to realize she’s right. 

you and jay are a lot more alike than you realize. same overbearing parents putting immense amounts of pressure on the two of you. if anything, you should have been friends—not enemies. 

who were you trying to protect yourself against? jay?

or your families who caused this whole mess in the first place? 

you suddenly get out of your chair, leaving ningning to stare at you. 

“where are you going? study hall isn’t over for another hour!”

“i…i have to go somewhere.” 

“and skip studying? what has possessed you, y/n?” she says incredulously. 

as you run off, you silently agree with her.

your feet lead the way, automatically taking you to the place you need to be without even realizing it. 

you open the doors rather harshly, stomping over to the familiar table. you already knew he would be here. he always was here if he wasn’t in class. 

jay sits there, and to your surprise, he’s strict and gazing out the large tinted glass windows. as you approach him, he pushes the bridge of his glasses up, looking at you with inquisitive eyes.

“how do you do it?”

he blinks at the question. 

“pardon?”

“how? how do you not care?” you almost demand him to answer, feeling all the pent up frustrations bubble up to the surface.  

“about your family, your duty, about everything!?”

you’re almost panting, glaring at him with glassy eyes. you needed to know. 

“it just doesn’t make sense. we’re in the same boat, yet you don’t care and you don’t seem affected. after everything that has happened, how can you feel so normal? how can you pretend like everything’s going to be okay?” your voice cracks.

to your surprise, jay sighs. he quietly gets up and looks up at you. clearly, like it’s the first time you’ve ever looked in his eyes. they draw you in, an endless void of darkness. 

you can finally feel the tension in the air. you finally notice that the two of you are alone. 

“if anything, i used to care more than you. i was worse off than you. it wasn’t always easy. it still isn’t.” 

you cross your arms. 

“you’re not lonely? stressed? is that why you decided to join the host club?” 

“i just decided to. i decided that i won’t let them dictate all parts my life. i chose to do this along with heeseung. he showed me a different world, a new path to life. not everything has to be for your own future benefit and success.” 

you look down. the sight of your own clenched fists surprises you. 

you know jay. you’ve known jay, for a long time. you’ve seen how he used to be. what an arrogant and selfish know-it-all he was. then, he changed. he became a host and suddenly, he was having fun with friends and doing everything he could for the club and them. 

but, you were in different positions. he fought back against his parents for his life, while you couldn’t even imagine coming close. why did you think you could come to him? 

“then… we’re not as similar as i thought we were. nevermind any of it.”

as you turn away, jay speaks up again. 

“you think you’re selfish. spoiled and special, perhaps.” 

you stop. 

“but you give tutoring to those who need it. and it’s not just for your reputation and the hours because you do it outside of school. you’re friends with ningning but she’s the second daughter, set to inherit nothing. you secretly give your packed lunch to the one person in our class who can’t always afford it.”

you quietly gasp. 

“i know. because you’re just like me.” 

you stand there, silently debating before walking out.

there were too many emotions. how did he know? how long has he known—noticed all those things about you? 

worst of all, it feels like you’ve reached a deeper level, a mutual understanding, in your relationship with park jay. 

whatever relationship you both even had. 

people are more than shocked to see the sight in front of them. this type of news—gossip—would reach the headmaster in a day or two. but those fan girls filled with jealousy would never do anything about it in fear of getting on your or jay’s bad side. 

park jay, helping y/n organize notes before class? 

y/n y/l/n, showing up to the host club on a weekly basis to sit with jay? 

and if your parents had anything to say, you turned the other way and pretended not to have heard. 

no one understood, like there was a silent understanding between just the two of you. 

jay scoots over, almost as if he was saving you the seat. almost like the seat was yours, it always had belonged to you. your heart warms at the thought. 

“our families are having another dinner.”

“i know. probably to discuss our futures, don’t you think?” 

you hum, passing him a honey citron drink and he gratefully accepts it without a word. for a minute you both enjoy the drinks in peace.

“maybe. probably. your mother was the one to invite us over, you tell me.” 

“i suspect to talk about the latest business affairs. then our grades.”

“oh goodness me,” you sigh and jay can’t help but genuinely smile. you liked the fact that you were one of the only people who could do that.  

“at least i’ll have you—or we’ll have each other,” he remarks rather normally, but the fidgeting of his hands with his pen tells you otherwise. 

you glance up at him, face warming slightly. he was right, though. it was a hard fact to get adjusted to. you did have someone else now. 

of all people, jay. he was the person you least expected, and yet… the only person you knew it could be. 

and maybe, you guys could heal together. you scoot your chair a bit closer to his, leaning to look at his screen. he doesn’t seem to mind at all. 

you knew you could and would heal together. 

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[simpsdept]

Rosie,carmila dating the reader with an alastor personality but more smilly and dark?

A/n: yea! Of course! Sorry this took so long and hopefully this isn’t OOC, cause I’m not sure if this is good..

Anyways!

Pairing: Rosie and Carmilla with a reader that has Alastors personality.

Gender: gender neutral (since it wasn’t declared)

Rosie!

-She’s definitely more use to it. I mean, come on she’s friends with Alastor, so meeting someone that’s similar to him was a joy.

-Though, you are much more dark and “happier” than Alastor, which can put her at unease sometimes, but not often.

-Like I said, she’s used to it. The first time you two met she was sweet and polite as always.

-You’re probably close to Alastor, coming across him once and you two just clicked, not in a romantic way of course.

-so you definitely met through Alastor. And Rosie was more than demoted to meet one of Alastors friends, and one that was similar to him too.

-She enjoys how you keep a smile on your face even through the hard times, though it does worry her.

-Even if you’re happy and always have a smile on your face, she can see if something is bothering you. So expect small therapy sessions every now and then.

-She’ll be very patient for you and not get stressed or angry if you say “I’m fine” or that you’re never sad.

-Now about you being more dark, it doesn’t bother her too much. Alastor is already pretty dark, so she’s use to dark humor or actions.

-But she won’t tolerate any of those acts if it’s placed in her town. It’s her people and she doesn’t want them hurt. She’s fine with you act out on other areas that aren’t her town, she always tells you to just tone it down and not hurt to many people.

-When dating, she’s definitely going to worry more. She’s gonna be by your side at all times to make sure you’re having actual fun rather than hiding under a smile.

-She’s the type of girl to give you a stern talking to if you ever commit an act that’s extremely bad. She’ll force you to sit down and she’ll just lecture you for a good hour, before going back to her usual polite and cheerful self.

-She does offer other things to distract you from doing anything that might hurt too many people. For example, she helps you be a cannibal.

-She believes, since cannibalism is a cruel act, that it would put you at ease and distract you from doing bad things.

-It does work. It makes you feel good too knowing you did something so unholy and disgusting, you often find yourself eating some of the parts Rosie has stored, which she always offers.

-Overall she’s a really good girlfriend, and still treats you nicely even if you’re a little…insane

Carmilla~

-Honestly, she didn’t like you at first. She felt uncomfortable and felt a little threatened? A little

-You seemed dangerous and could potentially (already has) cause harm. And knowing her she hates fighting or anything overly violent. So it came natural for her to dislike you.

-Seeing that your close friends with Alastor, an overlord that literally murdered other overlords in gruesome ways, and you share the same personality, didn’t come to easy for her.

-She already didn’t have a liking for Alastor and his acts, and now there’s two of you??

-When there are meetings she does not allow her daughters in the same room if you and Alastor are together

-She feels like her children are at risk of being harmed near you two, especially you since you seem…worse than Alastor.

-She does have to admit, your dark acts and optimistic behavior are quite useful during anything that involves fighting or work.

-During meetings due to you always being optimistic, talking out and speaking your mind is much easier. Which Carmilla is 50% thankful for some honest feedback, but also slightly frustrated with it too since she gets enough shit talk from velvette.

-Now you do intrigue her, you’re just so…interesting. It’s like you have no worries or fears on your mind

-When dating, she started to get use to your personality, but she didn’t let you near her daughters for a while.

-once she did let her daughters meet you personally, she was slightly surprised that you were, kind? To them.

-she started to trust you more, even making you go with her daughters to protect them when they drop off materials for the demons who buy Carmillas weapons.

-She does keep an eye on you, not wanting you to be overly crazy or insane, she doesn’t like violence or anything to do with it so she’s basically keeping you on a leash at all times.

A/n: I’m not sure if this was good or not but I tried my best to fit it in! I can remake it better if needed

[nikalaeva]

Feyre's Imaginary freedom and Wrong way Evolution

It will be a long speech, get ready 😅

I remember how Feyrе dreaming that her sisters would get married and she would stay with father and paint. It's pathetic dream, actually, but considering Feyre spent most of her life in poverty, it's more or less valid, 'cause she just couldn't imagine anything more. And if you forget that SJM made Feyre a hunter 'cause it's "cool", then I understand why Feyre chose hunting. She had options other than marriage: learn her father's work, get a job in some workshop (sewing, weaving, pottery), or, at worst, become a thief. But Feyre chose hunting, probably, 'cause it gave her a sense of control over her life. More than other options could give.

This brings us to the topic - Feyre's need for freedom. For her, freedom equals power, and this is logical - no one decides what is best for her life and future, only she is. When I read ACOTAR, I didn't see this. SJM just wrote that Feyre hunts to feed her family. But if you keep in mind that everything Feyre does is motivated by a desperate need to control her life, then her actions doesn't seem so idiotic. You would understand that for Feyre enduring the company of her family seems to be worse than freezing to death in forest. You would feel that being imprisoned in UTM and isolated by Tamlin hit Feyre harder than trials or anything else. You would believe that this is a girl who would rather die free than live in chains.

This is a post about Feyre, so I won't write much about Rhysand. But if Feyre herself had said that sitting in a cage for her (I emphasize - for her, not for reader) was worse than dancing naked for Rhysand, It would be a little easier for me believe in ACOMAF. "A little" better than nothing.

But the need for freedom alone is not enough. Eventually, there has to be a limit where Feyre will think: "I guess I can endure a little bit of captivity 'cause I don't wanna die such stupidly." So, in my opinion, good option would be to give Feyre an adrenaline addiction. For example, if you're a fan of Doctor Who, you've probably asked yourself why the Doctor's companions, despite the fatal dangers of traveling, still return to him. From my own experience I can say this: I worked in an ambulance and afterwards it was hard for me get used to another job. I missed unpredictability and thrills. Maybe people who love extreme sports will also understand these feelings. So, if we add Feyre's need for freedom to her adrenaline addiction, it becomes easier to understand why she constantly gets into trouble. Even if she understands that she can get hurt or die, it doesn't stop her 'cause of these weird, kinky sensations. Moreover, having become a fairy with magical abilities, Feyre could afford to take even more risks. By the way, adrenaline intensifies all the senses, while fairy wine depresses. Feyre could seek danger just to forget how wine made her helpless.

Or SJM could have written that all fairies have a strong need for cruelty, cheating or lying (she made them capable of lying - use it! 😡). That would explain why Illyrians constantly train, why in the CoN most (but not all, that's bullshit) fairies are assholes, why civilized fairies actively use sex and drink - these are substitutes so as not to harm others. Hell, it would explain Tamlin's outbursts of rage - he was fighting his nature but not drinking or fucking like crazy. And EVEN Rhysand's behavior - Amaranta turned him into a junkie, getting him high on violence and cruelty. So Rhysand knew he was tormenting Feyre, but the 50-year addiction was too strong. And not the crap that he (or rather the author) told me in ACOMAF.

Sorry, I'm got off topic. So now Feyre's story with the changes you read above is a tragedy. She's trapped in Velaris with IC, with Rhysand. In ACOSF, she's literally trapped in a magical bubble. It's sad and disgusting. But even that could be fixed if Feyre had healed in the ACOMAF and ACOWAR and decided that she wanted a quiet life, not dangers and adventures. The sisters' transformation into fairies and war with Hybern could have changed her like that.

If SJM had written that Rhysand actually gave her freedom, unlike Tamlin, and helped her understand that freedom ≠ throwing herself into danger, then I would have believed that he loved and cared for Feyre. He could helped her love the feeling of safety and peace. Feyre could understand how to get along with her sisters through Rhysand's relationships with Cassian and Azriel. And she could helped him overcome the addiction for violence that Amarantha had forced upon him. In that case, sex literally would be a cure, not just "spice."

But none of that was in the books. Other characters change at the snap of SJM's fingers too, but I'm talking about Feyre 'cause we spend three books in her head. She doing what the plot demands with such poor explanations that reader's brain explodes, trying understand her.

I don't hate Feyre. I hate that SJM has turned her character and story into hopeless trash. And the fans, whose brains have obviously melted from this shit, convince me that everything is okay.

[tw1l1te]

𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖘𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖔- 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖔

ᨒ↟ ⋆｡°

“Oh, I like her already.” Wars speaks. The Vet just seems to roll his eyes, muttering something about the Captain’s ego.

You rise back into a standing position, eyeing the group again. You look back up at Time, stating, “I presume you’re the Hero of Time, based off of your moniker.”

“You would be correct, although hardly anyone calls me by that title.”

You hum at his comment, finding his humble nature pleasing. Turning to the one named Sky, you motion your hand at him, “And you must be the Hero of the Skies, or the Chosen One. The first of us, if we go by technicalities.”

He nods hesitantly, curious as to where you got all of this information about them. He would’ve been more uneasy if you weren’t a descendant, but you were one of them, after all.

“Why… do you call yourself the Forgotten Hero?” he asks.

You smile solemnly at him, “Because this era has been doomed. Utterly and completely in decay. By the time my quest is done, Hyrule, or what remains of it will collapse and rebuild itself over thousands of years. I will be too hidden in the past to be remembered.”

You take a small breath before continuing, admitting the truth out loud.

“I will also be forgotten because I’m not you, or your descendants. I’m not the traditional male hero. Quite the anomaly, aren’t I?”

He seems conflicted by your statement, eyebrows furrowing together.

“But if you’re the only female so far, wouldn’t that make you more memorable? The heroine of Hyrule?”

“Maybe in another life, but not this one. I’m considered a disgrace of a hero by most people outside of my village and a few others spanned across the land.”

“Why would you say that? Didn’t you save everyone from destruction?”

You smile sadly, “The destruction happened years before I was born. If anything, I caused more of it.”

He takes a moment to think before asking the inevitable question.

“Link… who exactly did you defeat?”

Your eyes snap back up at him, making sure he was looking right at you. The information you were about to reveal was going to create the rift of the ages. It was now or never.

“Hylia.”

~

The room was silent for a few minutes, the only sound being heard was the loud blizzard beyond the splintered walls of the shack. The loud silence made you wish the shack would finally collapse in on itself.

Sky finally speaks, eyes glued to you. 

“W-what do you mean by that? You’re saying she caused all of this?”

You sighed, knowing he was one of the more… innocent followers of her. 

“Well, a few thousand years after the Era of the Wilds, there started to be a lot of… religious issues surrounding Hylia. A lot of questionable and downright disgusting practices. It caused people to start grouping up and separating, causing the nations of Hyrule to close off from each other.”

Looking around the group, you take a moment to let them process the new information before continuing.

“The Rito, Zora, Gorons, Gerudo, Sheikah, and Hylians all started to conflict more and more, eventually ascending into a 50-year war, or the Reawakening. The followers of Hylia formulated a plan to resurrect her in the flesh, killing Zelda in the process.”

“A life for a life.” Time muttered, deep in thought.

“Exactly. The plan was successful, the goddess being reawoken after millennias of being dead. She came back… unrecognizable, both physically and in an ideological sense. Her morality and character had been altered so much to the point of her followers becoming a cult. The cult killed my parents, thousands of people that questioned Hylia, essentially wiping out most of the kingdom.”

“And the land? How did it come to be so… bleak?”

“Hylia is the Sun, both literally and metaphorically. The sun is technically up beyond the clouds, but the amount of destruction and chaos she brought forth made the landscape unrestorable. The entirety of Hyrule looks just like this,” you motioned out with your hand.

“Hyrule is also significantly bigger than any of yours. Probably still larger than if you were to combine the size of each of your era’s Hyrule’s. It has been a cold, snowy abyss for over 30 years now.”

The brunette piqued up, head tilting slightly, “So where is Hylia now? Hyrule Castle?”

You shake your head.

“Hyrule Castle is in utter ruins now, most use it to scavenge for rock or old weapons. I’m… not sure where she is right now, I'm trying to track her down.”

“Didn’t you say you killed her?” the Veteran asked.

“I did but… her psyche is still present. She may not have a physical body anymore, as I returned it back to its dormant state, permanently, but her essence is somewhere. Everywhere.”

Time walks up to you, arms crossed over his chest. Curse your short stature, compared to his at least.

“From what you're telling us, it seems that we were brought here to help you. We came here through a portal, and from what we’ve learned, we can’t leave an era unless we’ve completed the task at hand, regardless of our own opinions or standing on the matter.”

“What were your original plans before being brought here?” you ask.

“The Shadow and his army. It took us months to finally pin him down and defeat him.”

You remember something being mentioned in the archives about a dark version of Link, but only being a mere shadow. Now a physical form? That was something you didn’t experience in your own journey. Lucky you, you suppose.

“Right now Hyrule is… in limbo, I suppose. Hylia’s first form was defeated about a year ago and we’ve tried to track her essence down since. We don’t know if she’s using someone as a vessel or if she’s resting in some sacred grounds to gather strength. Granted, the blizzards have made it significantly harder to even make it past the woods.”

Four, one of the shortest and most colorful of the Link’s speaks.

“So where exactly are we, based off of older maps?”

You ponder for a moment, trying to recollect exactly what town you could use to reference the location you were in. Something that was familiar to them.

“If I were to use my ancestor’s typography maps,” pointing to Wild, “I’d say we’re in the location of the Great Plateau. The plateau collapsed in on itself thousands of years ago and grew thick forest and brush, impenetrable if you were inexperienced with the outside world.”

You take a pause before continuing.

“Though if I were to be more accurate and precise… this would be almost the exact location of Ordon Village from the Era of Twilight.”

Twilight perks up at that, intrigued by your expertise and knowledge of their past eras. 

“How do you know that name?”

“Ordon?”

He nods.

You were revealing way too much about yourself within hours of meeting your ancestors. This is definitely not what you had planned.

Sighing, you reveal another ability you had kept concealed.

“I have the memories of every hero before me. I can see and dream of their travels, their fears, desires, secrets, everything. Even their own thoughts, at times.”

Twilight’s brow furrows, confusion emulating off his features.

“Isn’t that only what the goddess reincarnated can do? How can a holder of the Triforce of Courage accomplish that?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that it started when I was seven and I have them almost every day, multiple times a day.”

Time bristles at the age it started for you: seven.

…

He was the youngest hero to start his journey.

Of course, it made sense.

The memories of the hero began as soon as his purpose was ignited.

He was going to speak again, but you beat him to it, mentioning something about supper and needing to attend to some matters.

“Once you’re fed, I’ll come find you and find you a shack to board in. It will most likely be mine, as the village is full enough as it is. Dusk and Colin will show you around a bit, let them know if you need anything.”

With that, you bundle the scarf over your face again and leave through the front door, not looking back behind you.

“...You think they saw that time I rode on a bear in just my undergarments?”

“Definitely.”

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[adelliet]

Joel miller x f!reader

Ur too young for me

Summary: it's your mom's birthday party and her boyfriend Tommy is of course invited, but none of you were expecting he'd bring his brother too, which you had no idea he even have one.

Warnings: 18+, rough but soft, unprotected sex ( p i v ), age gap, drinking alcohol, teasing, sexual allusions, fingering, flirt, dom & sub

A/N: Hi! Sorry I wasn't active these days…trust me I have load of ideas and concepts, but I have no time :/ also sorry for the mistakes, of there are any, english isn't my first language! Enjoy, sedning love <3

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You stood in the corner of the kitchen, far away from all those 40-50 year old people, who were talking so loudly that if you wanted to, you could hear every detail of their conversation. But you didn't care about that, you didn't care about any of that, and the only reason you're here is your mom. She does enough for you, so you want to at least pay her back and attend this boring senior party where absolutely nothing happens. The only good thing here is alcohol.

Since there are enough people here that mom won't see you drinking Gin or Vodka through them, you take the opportunity to get drunk to the point of unconsciousness so you don't have to spend any more time here. However, when you wanted to pour another glass of Vodka into the red plastic cup, you felt a woman's grip on your forearm. Before you could turn around to see who it was, you were led to the front door.

Of course, it didn't take you long to realize that your mom was dragging you to the door. "So, straighten up and be nice" your mom ordered as she smoothed the dress over her stomach and reached for the handle. You just rolled your eyes and looked at the door in disgust until Tommy appeared in it. A really forced smile appeared on your face by the second and you tried not to be mean like your mom told you to.

Tommy is a nice guy, you gotta admit, but you don't even know why you "don't like" him. Like it was some kind of natural instinct because none of the guys mom found after dad died were smart or nice. They all acted like whores and wanted only one thing from mom. Maybe your hatred is also from trust issues, but you haven't had much time to think about it now. Your mission to get drunk must succeed, so you did everything to make it happen. “Hi Tommy” you greeted him and wanted to offer your hand for a shake but he forcefully ignored her and pulled you to his chest as he wrapped you in a hug. At first you thought how gross it would be, but it felt pretty good. When he finally let you go, he hugged your mom too and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. Your mom was as red as a tomato and her happy smile just couldn't be shaken off. You were glad that she was happy after such a long time.

"I hope you don't mind that I brought my brother too" this sentence that came out of Tommy's mouth caught you both by surprise. You stared wide eyed at Tommy until you heard footsteps coming down the hall towards our door. "You have a brother?" Mom asked in shock and Tommy nodded. Then he said something to her, but you stopped noticing everything that was happening around you as soon as you saw a muscular, mature and slightly older man standing in the doorway. He was tall, with a light gray beard and hair so silky you fought the urge to run your fingers through it. Wearing a green plaid shirt with a gray belt around the waist and slightly flared jeans. You wouldn't say that such a sexy and attractive man is Tommy's brother. Now the fun begins.

All of a sudden, everyone fell quiet and there was an awkward grave silence as everyone but one stared at the man standing in the doorway with a serious face that exuded genuine respect. Seeing this man on the street, you wouldn't want to mess with him. The silence became too long and deep, so our birthday girl decided to break it. "You must be Joel, is that right?" mom asked sweetly, suffocating you a bit to get a better view of him. You couldn't believe it. Tommy was literally standing next to her and she was even redder than before paying attention to this man. On the other hand, you should not be surprised. You don't see such a handsome man very often.

“That's right" Joel spoke and his voice was even more beautiful than you imagined. A deep husky voice, to hear it so grainy in the morning, oh my god. He accepted your mother's offering hand for a shake, giving you a better view of his soaked and muscular whips. He must work out at least 3 times a day.

You couldn't take your eyes off him. You looked at every detail of him, his sharp beard, the beautiful brown eyes that looked so sweet, but they were formed strictly. You imagined how his body must look under all those clothes. It must certainly look like it was created by god himself. When your mom finally pulled away and finished chatting with Joel, she made room and now you could see the handsome guy face to face. You started to get nervous. What's going on?

You were never nervous with any boy before, whether you liked him or not. This is weird. Everything is strange and especially your feelings that you can't describe right now. "And you are?" a manly deep voice interrupted your thoughts and you regained your composure a bit. You made eye contact with him and that was your bottom. You could feel your knees buckle and your legs shake. The heat was boiling inside you and your heart was beating at least 4 times faster, as if you were charged with some energy.

"Y/N" stuttered a little but you finally answered, and accepted his massive hand that he was offering you. His grip was strong, he surrounded your entire palm with his, fingers thin and long enough, god you had to move away from him or you wouldn't be able to hold on and it would end badly. "Nice to meet you" he added but no smile appeared on his face. You didn't know how it was possible, but the fact that he wasn't smiling at all added 100+ points to his attractiveness.

“Nice to meet you too” you squealed so quietly, that you couldn't even hear yourself, but Joel heard you very well because you could see his corners lifting slightly up, when you spoke. "Well…how about we all introduce ourselves hm?" Tommy jumped into your eye contact and broke it. You, Joel, your mom including the other people, were looking at Tommy, but you knew very well that everyone was interested in Joel. You were jealous a little, but at least you could do anything and everyone's attention was on the massive man, not on you.

You decided to take advantage of this and carefully sneaked into the kitchen with maximum stealth, where you picked up two bottles, each a different type of alcohol, and hide yourself in the bedroom, as you sneak there the same way you sneak into the kitchen. Everything went so smoothly you couldn't believe it. Everyone was really only looking at Joel, both women and men, including your mom. She looked at him suspiciously peacefully, but at the end of the day you decided not to deal with it and to fulfill the mission you ordered from the beginning of the party. Get drunk.

~~~

After a few minutes and a few sips of Vodka, the bottle was already half empty and you felt a slight dizziness, but still nothing terrible. You stared at the wall and all you could think about was Joel. You tricked your thinking into drunkenness, even though you knew full well that thinking about Joel Vodka really wasn't to blame.

As you were about to take another sip from the bottle, you suddenly heard dangerous footsteps approaching your room. You immediately took the bottle out of your mouth, even doused yourself a little and hid it with the other one under the bed while you cleaned yourself up and checked your breath for the smell of alcohol. Suddenly the door opened aggressively and to your surprise Joel was standing there. He looked quite stressed and as soon as he entered your room without permission he slammed the door behind him and leaned against it. He rubbed his face with his large palm and exhaled until he saw you sitting on the edge of the bed. He was so startled that he jumped slightly on the spot and had to grab his heart. "Oh my God" he breathed out and you tried as hard as you could to fight the urge to immediately imagine his light outpouring in some deviant scene in your head.

“Sorry, didn't know you're here” Joel apologize but entered in the room anyways so, it's too late to apologize. “It's okay” you assured him, but you didn't ask the crucial question that was running through your head. Why is he even here? Shouldn't he enjoy partying with people of his own age and equal? Shouldn't he be enjoying the fame and being the center of attention? Probably not his cup of coffee. He looked pretty tired and beat up, like he'd just been hit in the head with 40 footballs.

He laid down on your bed without any warning or question, automatically covering his closed eyes with his hand. You bounced a little on the bed when he jumped there. You watched him and looked at him like a he was some treasure. “Those people are wild” he complained and when he finally spoke in a normal tone, your body calmed down a bit. You laughed at his good point and pulled the bottles from behind the bed. You wanted to drink one of the bottles but the familiar voice stopped you. "Aren't you too young to drink this?" you slowly turned over your shoulder only to see Joel, even hotter and more attractive than five seconds ago. One hand was tucked behind his head, the other rested on his chest, and his beautiful brown eyes were only fixed on you. "You're not my dad" you snapped at him and drank anyway. You have no idea where you got the courage. It sure does the drinking.

"Fine, but I won't hold your hair when you gonna throw up in the toilet" he got comfortable and finally closed his eyes after he said that. His words took you a bit by surprise and left your head spinning, but you ignored it anyway. "What are you doing?" you asked him curiously and slightly offended as your pupils widened. "Taking quick nap" again, that deep husky voice that made you cross your legs and ignore the throbbing down there. "And who let you lie here?" you asked him in a sussy voice, but immediately ducked your tail as Joel mopped the floor with you. "Who let you drink alcohol?" Shit, he's good. You decided not to answer and drink again.

You looked at him. You watched his nostrils expand every time he breathed air out, you watched his chest rise slowly and calmly, it was so calming to watch him that you got tired too. Your bed isn't very big so there wasn't much room left for you with Joel taking up most of the space, but she decided to rub herself in and lay next to him. He turn to side so now he wasn't laying on his back, but on his side. His face was right in front of your back, but you decided to not really care, or at least, try to not care.

But you couldn't lay down without touching Joel at all, and right now you were touching a really sensitive spot. You could feel your ass in that tight red dress touching Joel's pelvis. A normal person would have moved forward a bit or just ignored it, but the alcohol in your brain was starting to take over and so were your wild thoughts, so you decided to do something that could get you into trouble. You lay with your back to Joel, unable to see his face just imagining it. You slowly started moving your hips from side to side, provoking Joel. You waited for his reaction but nothing so far, just his sleep breathing purring into your neck, but no reaction at all. So, you didn't stop and keep going, maybe add a little more power.

Suddenly you heard an annoyed deep exhalation and at that exact moment you felt Joel's hand on your tiny neck. He had it propped up under your head, so you were practically lying on his arm. You gasped a bit from the surprise, because you weren't ready and expecting this to happen at all. You though that he may be telling you to fuck off or something, but definitely not this. His huge palm was covered all over your neck, his grip strength was small, but he would only need to add a little more strength and you would be suffocated in no time. You played a dangerous game but you loved it. "What do you think you're doing?" he barked at you quietly, his half-sleeping voice were sending chills down your spine and a flame of fire to your feminine parts. You felt your nipples harden and goosebumps appeared all over your body. "Getting myself comfortable" you said innocently, trying not to let your plan be known, to make Joel hard by teasing him with ur ass. You were so horny in your life right now, you never been like this before.

“Do that again and you'll regret it" he hissed making it clear that he was pretty pissed off but what did you take from that? That a dangerous game was starting to turn and you decided to provoke Joel even more and put yourself in more danger. Of course you were frozen when he said this and you waited a moment until you heard that cute purr on your neck again and his grip softened. You then started slowly moving your ass again, but this time, in a different direction. You weren't afraid to challenge him at all and moved your hips back and forth, hitting Joel's lap hard. You could feel the slowly growing bulge in his jeans, but it didn't last long as Joel huffed aggressively and woke up again, now even angrier than before.

Not only did he tighten his grip around your neck, but his other hand literally pressed down on your hip with si much preassure. He was holding your body so hard you thought he was going to break your bones. Your breathing quickened but it wasn't that you were afraid. The reason for your rapid heartbeat, pulsing and breathing was all too clear, you were so turned on. You could feel the wettness in your panties, dripping off to your inner thight and landing on the mattress. And it get so much worse.

"Didn't you hear me the first time you little brat?" he growled into your ear and squeezed your hip even more, making you curl your toes and stretch them out. So much pressure, so much tension, so much horniness and lust that you screamed ‘I want to have sex’ without even turning your face to Joel. You ignored his question, which may have been a mistake. "This is wrong you realize that?" he was asking you questions in anger and frustration, but you felt as if you were speechless and unable to verbally respond to them in any way, but that didn't matter because Joel could clearly read what was on your mind from your body movement.

"We're going to be in trouble…" he breathed out, his voice a little calm but grainy and so deep it was as if the bear himself was speaking to you. You felt his hand on your hip as it slowly traveled lower on your lower abdomen but it didn't stop there for long as it then traveled to your thigh where Joel then left his palm print as he squeezed it hard. That imprint will be there for a long time. You squealed softly, full of temptation and your body as hot as concrete in the summer. Joel felt very good about you and knew what to do. He always knows what to do.

"Tell me, has anyone touched you like this before?" another question, which was already much more pleasant when Joel was rubbing your thigh, his palm moving up and down and slightly returning the provocation when he sometimes went lower, where your thighs met and where you needed his hand the most . But he never stayed there very long, which frustrated you even more than being at your mom's party with old people. “Answer my question”

His grip on both your neck and your thigh twitched and gained strength as you remained silent and tried to enjoy this. You shook your head in disapproval but it wasn't enough for Joel. "Words" the grip even tighter and you felt that you were starting to feel your neck slightly. "No" you finally answered, all shaky but as soon as you said it, Joel's grip on your neck took away that strength, but on your thigh it was the oppostite and be just added more. "Good girl...where did the courage to speak go, huh?" this was a sarcastic question and you both understood that you weren't supposed to answer it.

After a bit of teasing, Joel decided to start doing something more, maybe it's because of his hard dick, which twitches every time you move or make any sound. "Will you be a good girl and be quiet?" he asked as he forced his hand he fell between your legs and caressed your inner thigh, where he sometimes 'accidentally' flicked his finger against your wet panties. He let out a small giggle when he felt how wet you already were, but decided to save his comment until after your answer. "Y-yes" you stuttered, all hot and eager as you moved your hips to feel Joel's fingertips just a little bit where your flame was heating the most. "So wet and we haven't even started..." he sighed as he finally touched his fingers to your panties and began to slowly and gently rub.

You let out a cute quiet sight, but you try really hard not to be loud, as Joel told you. "Good girl...you wanna feel my fingers inside you, don't ya?" what the fuck is happening. Are you fell asleep and this is a dream or are you that drunk that you are imagining things...or is this really happening? Is the most hot and attractive man in this house and in your whole life rubbing you through your panties and saying dirty stuff in your ear? What kind of porn-story is that!?

“Please~” you moaned, head turning so you could scream into the pillow and not be hearen, but Joel didn't fucking let you. He likes how you you begged and pleaded but he wasn't going to let you trick him into not controlling your squeals and whimpers, so he lifted his shoulder that you were laying on and rolled your head back to the original position it was in before. “No cheating, or you won't get what you're asking for” god his voice only added to your wetness and body temperature, you were as hot as a falling meteorite. This was the worst torture what could you have experienced but you deserved it. You shouldn't have provoked Joel with your ass and none of this would happened, but do you regret it? Absolutely not. This is so much better than be drunk, which you practically were.

“Do you want it?” He asked you as his body get closer to yours, that you could feel his muscular chest hiding in the clothes and his popping bulge wanting really hard to get out of there. His hot breath was know on your back of your neck, and you couldn't move. You were locked in Joel's touch and there was nothing to do than listen to him and do what he told you to do, so you could finally get what you fucking need. “Yes” you answered, this time full of confidence which Joel likes but not as much as he heard you begging.

“Beg for it” he said as he put much preassure on his two fingers rubbing against your wet panties that were probably soaking inside. Your clitoris was plumbing as much as your hole, fuck this man. "Please" you moan once again, trying really hard to give him his ego and the dominance he lost for a moment but regained immediately. You could feel his annoying grin ear to ear as he heard you. “See how easy it is” he stopped rubbing your vagina over the soft material which made you freeze a bit and you let us out with what you had at least for a little while and now you lost it but you didn't wait too long as Joel took off your panties in one jerking motion until they came down to your ankles and you shook them to the ground. "Let me feel how wet you really are" and before he finished this sentence, you could feel his bare fingers, rubbing your labia back and forth. Finally. The exhalation from the feeling that you have finally passed to the next stage kicked you so much that you forgot your promise and let out a slight loud sight. Joel immediately covered your mouth with the hand that was originally on your neck. "Shhh...we have a deal honey, don't break it" your eyes rolled back as he started to looking for your clit by his one finger and find it immidietly, then started doing small circles around there, making you go crazy and scream into his hand so fucking loud.

“God…you have no idea what're you doing to me” he whimpered into your ear and you could tell from his voice and shaking that he was in such tension and he couldn't last very long without interacting with him and his needs. You wanted to help him, but he wouldn't let you. You couldn't even turn or look at him, just trying to lie in a still position and not make a sound, which was quite hard task for you, especially when Joel added strength to your clit and started rubbing it hard and fast. You automatically pressed your thighs together, squeezing Joel's hand as well. You felt so close, but there was still something missing, which Joel filled in after a short time.

He stopped teasing your clit, but instead stuck two fingers straight into you. As soon as you let out a loud controlled sigh and your eyes squeezed tightly, Joel started curling his fingers inside you, slowly but with passion. His fingers were big, string and long, so when he goes deeper, he hits your g-spot really fast. You started shaking, eyes with tears when you couldn't move and could only scream Joel's name into his own hand, that were still covering your mouth. "You're close, aren't you?" he teased you a bit, but you nodded your head roughly and moved your legs when you really felt the climax coming. Joel makes it even worse, when he uses his thumb rubbing your clit too. It was totally over for you.

The tension were so close and you were tense and hard, but suddenly Joel pulled his fingers out of you. You opened your eyes in confusion and furrowed your brows as you angrily turned to face Joel and were on your back on the bed. Although you were upset that he didn't finish you off, the sight of him licking his fingers and muttering happily while doing so made you forget about it right away. "Did you think it would be that easy?" he asked provocatively and before you could react Joel was on top of you. One hand resting on the bed as a helper to keep him from falling, the other hand on your hot red face, softly rubbing it with his thumb. You liked this angle better.

Joel didn't leave you in the pleasure for long though, breaking your eye contact with him as he forced his lips to yours. You felt his hard erect cock, pushing in his pants and rubbing against your inner thighs, very close to your core. The passionate and ardent kiss turned into an intense kiss that clearly indicated that it would go to the next level soon. Joel's hand on your face very quickly moved to your neck where it stayed long enough until Joel couldn't take it and used it to pull off his pants freeing his partner. All this time, you were glued to each other not only with your bodies, but also with your lips. Your saliva was mixing and you were trying to inhale as much oxygen as you could because you couldn't tear yourself away from Joel.

The atmosphere was starting to thicken and your bodies were starting to heat up, forcing you to roughly unbutton Joel's shirt, finally exposing his godlike body. Joel didn't let himself be talked down to and decided to cooperate as he slid his arm under you and lifted you up a bit pulling you closer, your lips still on his. Joel was unzipping your dress while you were unbuttoning his shirt and when all the buttons were done, you tore the fabric off of Joel like a wild animal, and immediately broke the kiss to look at the miracle, you wanted to see since the moment you met Joel for the first time, a few hours ago.

Those toned muscles, those muscular abs, and that unshaven hairy chest that clearly indicated what an alpha male Joel was. It looked even better than you imagined. You couldn't hold it for much longer, knowing that every second you were getting closer to what you so desperately needed, so without any warning, you stuck your tongue in Joel's mouth again and gently ran your hands over his massive body. You swear you felt an egotistical smirk from Joel, but chose to ignore it.

You weren't the only one who wanted to see the other naked. Joel was so curious about you, so excited and mostly so horny that he literally ripped your red dress off you. You immediately pulled away from his lips and shot a ‘are you serious?’ look. "Are you fucking kidding me?! They were expensive!" you raised your voice after him, but Joel could care less right now. He was so amazed by your body, that he ignored the fact that you literally yelled at him. If you weren't almost naked, you would be in so much trouble. "You look much better without them" he said in his husky-bear voice again.

There was only one thing standing in his way now, apart from your angry face, and that was your black bra, which Joel passionately lunged for and in one graceful movement, with no effort in, unhooked your bra and gently threw it to the floor. It was a strange feeling to see Joel not knowing where to look first. He loved your body, if he could he would have hearts instead of pupils. He didn't know where to look first. He wanted so badly to squish your body and leave huge purple and painful hickeys everywhere, but he decided to save that for another time. He couldn't resist, and after a few minutes of just watching and admiring your naked body, he had to go, and he wasn't afraid to take a challenge.

He cup one of your tits, he slowly squeezed, and your natural reaction was to throw your head back and sink your teeth so deep into your bottom lip that you could feel the blood coming out after a while. "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen" you melted at his words. You felt his cock twitch almost every two seconds, and all the blood from his body was just there. He was so close you could feel his head and a little wetness on it as the pre-cum started to form. He was just as horny as you, he wanted it just as much as you, but the only difference was, that he was so fucking patient.

In a snap, his mouth was on your neck, sucking and leaving red fresh marks on your sensitive neck. You weren't thinking about anything but Joel's tongue, hand placement and his definitely huge dick, you want to feel inside you so badly. Just make things worse, he started to teasing you. His head of his cock was really slowly started brushibg against your labia, and you thought you gonna cum already. He is fucking asshole.

He wanted it as much as you did, to push his member inside you and fuck you so good, but he loved the feeling of you being helpless and able to plead for Joel, which is exactly what you did. He had you wrapped around his finger, manipulated you didn't even realize what Joel was doing to you. All you focused on was sex. “Please~” you sighed, throwing your head back and pulling Joel's hair slightly, as the feeling of his teeth on your shoulders and the top of his member softly rubbing you, and start teasing your clitoris too. Joel loves your fingers inside his hair, your moans and sights, but he wanted more. His head with his lips went lower on your body, stopped when he met one of your tits, and start slowly sucking and licking your nipple. You never were on this kind of ‘stuf’, like breast playing, but gosh it felt so fucking good! He also included his other hand in the game, which he used to roll your other nipple and his elbow was resting on the bed so he wouldn't lose his balance. On top of all that, as if it wasn't enough, he added power of provoking your pussy and not only started to speed up, but also started getting inside a little bit.

“Fuck~” you moaned, thugging Joel's slightly gray hair more and arched your back, when you started feeling your legs shaking and your underbelly hurting from how hot it was. Joel wasn't stopping with playing not only with your breast but even with your vagina, having you under his control. “Tell me, how much you want it?” he asked you as his hips still moves around you and played with you like with some toy, but you were so desperate and helpless for him, that you would do anything to get what you want. “Badly” you sighed and lick your lips as Joel started giving sweet kisses on your nipple and softened. “How badly?” you wanted to punch him so much. “So badly I~…I'd do anything” he loved seeing you in that state.

When he first saw you in that door, he never could have imagined it would turn out like this but he liked it maybe more than he should have. But Joel wanted to hear you begging, begging for his cock, begging to be fucked by Joel Miller. "Anything huh? What do you offer…" his mischievous grin widened as he stopped whatever he was doing giving you a chance to breathe in oxygen and reply in a notmal tone without sighing or moaning. Of course you took advantage of that and straightened your body so you could look into his eyes. You completely forgot about the question, how fired up you were, and the whole situation as you lost yourself in Joel's eyes. 'All eyes are the same' they say, but he showed you that's not true. You can read so many things in them and stare at them for hours as you melt into Joel's hands massaging your hips. "Hm? Did you hear me?" he woke you up a bit from the day's vigil and you thought about your answer. "Anything you want...I'm all yours" this was exactly the answer Joel needed to hear. Not only did you allow him to do whatever he wanted with you, but you also admit you are only his. Joel is very possessive and your answer gave him even more ego than he already had, which seemed impossible. "What a needy girl...I'll do what you want so badly for the last minutes hun, but you need to beg" this is where the final game starts. Joel started rubbing the tip of his dick against your labia again, making you open your mouth out wide and squeeze really hard your eyes. “I am begging you Joel…please~” this was a lullaby to his ears. "What? Didn't hear, can you said that again?" fuck this man. "I. am. begging. you." you blurted out and when Joel realized you couldn't talk anymore, he decided to take pity on you.

He carefully leaned back and directed his cock to hit. You were starting to find it really weird that he wasn't saying anything and not really doing anything either out of nowhere, so you opened your eyes, but when you looked down, at that exact moment, Joel thrust his cock into you. Even though it was what you wanted so much, it extremely hurt.

You hissed in pain and dug your nails deep into Joel's back leaving gashes. It looked like he had been attacked by a wild beast, which actually wasn't that far from the truth. He did nothing for a while and let you get used to it and wait until you stopped destroying his huge back. "U're okay?" he asked nicely and placed one of his palms on your face when he saw tears coming from your eyes. You nodded roughly through gritted teeth, but Joel didn't believe you. You didn't look like you were 'good' or enjoying yourself like you were a few seconds ago.

“S’okay…we have as much time as we want” Joel's voice was suddenly soft and caring, that you wouldn't believe your ears. After a few seconds, when you didn't feel the pain as much, you nodded to give Joel's permission to continue. He understand your sign immediately and push more into you, he stretched you more and you felt so full. Pain started to surround you again, but Joel's hand on your hip and cheek made it better. Added to that were his lips on yours, sweet small kiss making you feel butterflies again. “God that's a lot” you sighed in laugh as you finally felt better and open your eyes.

But your laughing immediately stopped, when you saw Joel's face, which was not as happy as yours. You frowned at him and cocked your head to the side in confusion. "It's only halfway" he whispered and your eyes widened by at least 7 inches. HALF?! IS HE FUCKING KIDDING?! You already felt full and the thought of him having to push that much length into you one more time intoxicated you so much that you closed your eyes again and tried not to think about it.

"'Kay, do it" you said quickly and your whole body was in such tension. "Are you sure? We don't have to rush this-" "I am." you snapped at Joel and your brow furrowed and your teeth clenched as you felt him continue. It really hurt a lot, you couldn't imagine such pain even in your worst dreams, but when Joel was all the way in, you knew it would only get better. He waited again for a while as he kissed you passionately, trying to distract you, which was half working.

His kisses and the way he squeezed and touched your body sent chills down your spine and juice into your already big fire down there. After a bit of kissing and groping, Joel began moving his hips very gently, in a circular motion. This movement sent pain to the back of your head and you couldn't help but let out sighs of happiness. The pain gradually fades to pure pleasure, and as your moans began to sound more intense, with more force and volume, Joel began to change direction and speed.

“Fuck…you have no idea what you're doing to me” Joel gasped as his orgasm started feeling closer, so does yours. Pain wasn't there anymore, only pleasure instead. Very soon you started to feel on your edge, cuz Joel didn't search for long and found your g-spot very quickly, then he just hit it every time, whenever he thrust into you.

His thrusting started being more aggressive, more intense, that the whole bed started shaking too. Joel needs to cover your mouth again, and this time really put strength on your lips, because you no longer had control over the sounds you made or over your body. You twitched in tension whenever you felt the strange sensation of going to the bathroom.

You couldn't hold it for long, and you could tell by Joel's expression and the way he wasn't continuing at the same pace, stuttering and sighing much more often, that he was damn close too. A few more thrusts and you already arch your back, but Joel did it again, he stopped.

It frustrated not only you but also him, but he knew very well what he was doing. As if your fury could not be greater. First he didn't give you that first orgasm, then he ruin your clothes and now he doesn't want to give you another orgasm? What is wrong with this man?! "Joel-" before you could even ask him anything, Joel grabbed you closer to him and roll that he was laying on his back while you were sitting on his lap, this time he was under you. You were still inside him, not moving a muscle. You looked at him confused, but not for a long time when he said: "I wanna see you ride me" and that made your pussy pulse again.

Right after he said that a devilish grin appeared on your face from ear to ear, and you started moving forward slowly. Joel was sighing the same way you were, he was looking at your belly, then your breast and then deep into your eyes, repeatedly. You only looked at his face in the hope that he will tell you instructions, because you never 'ride a man' before. Joel corrected you with his hands on your hips, gently pushing you back and forth as you let him lead you.

After a moment, when your vagina and yourself calmed down, you threw your head back and opened your mouth wide. "Joel~" that was only thing you could say, correctly, moaned. This position makes your orgasm come even faster to you, and you just hoped you wouldn't be so loud, since Joel can't really reach your mouth and can't shut you down.

"Yeah, good girl...just like that" he said as he started making you go up and down on his cock, practically jumping on him. At first it was slow, you couldn't even hear the smacking of your ass against his thighs, but after a while when the atmosphere kicked into high gear and in your liquid started to accumulate in the vagina, your slaps whenever you land back on Joel's legs started being louder and louder. After a few seconds, Joel didn't even have to continue guiding you because even though you didn't know what to do, your body definitely knew. Joel was admiring your body, your breasts moving up and down to the rhythm, your moaning and literally screaming his name, it was beautiful. "Joel I-" "I know baby, I know~" Joel groaned as an angry wolf and his grip was thick and strong, just as your pussy. You both felt the climax coming, it started being so intense that Joel is definitely going to have red marks of your ass on his thighs. The bed started to creak so much that you thought it was going to break but now you weren't focusing on that at all. All you focused on was your orgasm, which was so close, and you finally reached it when Joel pushed you a little and started rubbing your clit. You came first but Joel didn't let that stop you from riding. The post-orgasm feeling was amazing, but you started feeling overstimulated. Of course you wanted Joel to reach his orgasm too, but your vagina was just as tired as you. It didn't take long and luckily Joel did and respectfully and honestly, his face and the sound that came out of him when he squirted into you was something like euphoria for you. The overstimulation thing fades out really fast, as you saw Joel, breathing heavily as you and when you realize, YOU make a man come. It was amazing and you had so many mixed feelings right now, that you don't even know how you feel. The only thing you know for sure is that you are fucking exhausted, that's why you passed out right next to Joel, breathing heavily as he did.

It was akward silence, except your and Joel's loud breathing, trying so hard to catch breath and not pass out by low oxygen in body, and the people talking loudly in the other room, where the party is still going. you were quite surprised that the celebration wasn't over yet. Even though the sex with Joel seemed endless, it only lasted a few minutes, that's how good the fuck was. You tried to ignore your surroundings and focus on only two things, breathing and thinking about what the hell happened. It's wrong, this whole situation is wrong, this shouldn't have happened, but these negative thoughts immediately passed you when you felt Joel's large, muscular arm under your neck. He then pulled you closer to his warm manly body. Even though you were both covered under the covers, you could still feel the nakedness and sweat from the other. You couldn't find the words. Even as your breathing calmed down and so did Joel's, you didn't know what to say. You wanted to thank him so badly because the way he made you feel and relieved you was unforgettable.

“Thank you…” you chirped softly but loud enough for Joel to hear you. As soon as you said it with a shaky voice, Joel scoffed and made you tilt your head, so you were looking into his eyes. "Are you kidding me? Are you thanking me right now?" he asked eagerly, and it was clear that Joel thought you were being sarcastic, but when you remained silent and formed your lips into a thin line, Joel rolled his eyes and sighed in disappointment. "Boys haven't been nice to you in the past, have they?" he asked, softness in his voice as he rubbed slowly and comfortably your back by his big palm. You sigh as a clear answer. "Oh baby...don't worry, you have me now and I'll show you how a man should treat a girl like you" the way that he said that made you blush and you needed to burn your face into his chest , making him giggle a bit. "But promise me one thing" still rubbing your back and sometimes stopped at your hair, slightly played with them. You look up at him again and give him a shy little 'hm?'. "Do not tell anybody about this...especially not your family members" it was like all your power and confidence just woke up, as you imagine ur mom finding out about this.

“Are you kidding me? Do you think that my mom would jump with happiness that I slept with…basically my uncle? Oh my god saying that out loud makes me want to puke…” The typical ‘dad laugh’ came out from him and he agreed. Your mom would literally tear you and Joel appart on pieces, then cook the bodies and serve it on parties like this…like some Jeffrey Dahmer in female version.

Well, I think she needed to hear us because there is absolutely NO WAY that she came to my room without knocking, that's what she always do, and of course, cough us. The timing was too damn perfect so I couldn't bealive that. I think mom is some kind of wizard and she is just plying with time, when she is alone.

She stare at us, in shock, behind her was Tommy, who stare as same as my mom. I and Joel stare in shock too, we had no idea what to do or what to say…

Well, we're FUCKED-

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

[lucysarah-c]

How would Levi react to his s/o getting their period? Like, would he know a little about it or would he be completely clueless? (He has to have helped Isabel in the Underground at least once?? But they could've also been malnourished, so I don't know) Would he try to help in any way? Also, behind the walls, do you think they had pads? I think they probably used like those fabric products (menstrual belt + reusable pads).

Post war I think his s/o would be introduced to pads if they ever get their period.

P.S. this is very on theme with the recent tampons/pads news. (not to spread more panic, like, more research needs to be done, so if anyone freaks out just do what I do - panic at 50% lol)

Hi! How are you?

Oh, I think Levi is far from clueless about periods. I've written multiple one-shots about it. In the manga "A Choice with No Regrets," Levi finds Isabel as a little girl and raises her himself. I hardly doubt that Levi was clueless or wasn't the one who guided her through it the best he could. Because of this, I think Levi is well-informed about periods.

Plus, as I've mentioned before, Levi is a very straightforward, blunt man. He knows women, or at least the vast majority of them, get their periods—it's natural, it's biology. He simply takes it for what it is: men get their dicks hard, women get their periods. This man will take what life gives and simply work with it. He'll be chill and ask her if she needs anything.

And if she feels a bit ashamed about it, he'll say, "Tch, your body is your body. It's the same body that I like. If men get disgusted or ashamed of what a normal woman's body does, then they don't like women," and carry on.

About the pads. Look, hun, not even Isayama knew what he wanted to do with the clothes and the period of time that clothes inside and outside the walls should refer to. It's all over the place during the entire story, and as someone who loves historical fashion, it's annoying how inconsistent it is. So, my best advice about the pads, etc., is you do you. If you want them to have pads, tampons, etc., do it. If you want them to have a more historical type, do it. But honestly, there's no way I could say, "this is what they would wear," because the clothes they wear inside and outside the walls make absolutely no sense in terms of fabric, fashion, and limitations. So, once again, you do you.

And about the news that came out—as a scientist myself—look, don't mind it, that's my best advice. There will always be something that may help or harm you during your life, which is later found out to be bad or good for you. Some can't wear menstrual cups, me included, for example, and some don't want to. You know what's well-known to kill you? Stress. So don't mind it.

Have a nice day!

[theviolettulip]

Usopp-centric Fic Recs

Here they are, @pinkcrittertomb! I combed through the Usopp-centric tag on Ao3 and picked out (most of the) fics that I personally liked. I was gonna post when I FULLY combed through it, but it's been months and the tag keeps growing (yayy!!) so I'mma just post the 50+ fics I've got rn 😅

If you (or anyone else!) have any you wanna add, feel free to reblog or comments them. Also tagging @wesleysniperking & @thenapmaster cuz I think you'd wanna see this<3

Ducks are Evil by The1WhoReads

One-shot, Modern AU, Math Savvy!Zoro trying (and failing) to tutor Usopp, and Usopp suffering because of it. Humorous, cute, and has Usopp Zoro & Luffy interactions.

Изобретение by Тюша (Tyusha)

One-shot. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's Russian, but it's worth using Google Translate! It's about Usopp in the Chopperman universe, so he's actually Usodabada, and it was honestly very enjoyable and touching and made me want more Chopperman Fanfics...the author also has LOTS of other Usopp-centered works.

The Sheep And The Lion by Corporal_MerryWeather

One-shot, Usopp & Merry & Sunny apparitions. really cute, him being able to see Merry show up as a little goat and later Sunny as a lion.

What makes a person? by Starlight_Adventurer

One-shot, Usopp is a goat mink (his mom's a mink, his dad's human) and he's angsting about his dad. Luffy comforts him<3

You could be my luck by yuukri

One-shot, Modern College AU, basically the East Blue 5 going on a grocery trip at 2 in the morning and it being the BEST slice of life everrr it is just SO. THEM.

Marked by truth by SaltyYagi

Multichapter. Truth Spells/Elixers/whatever are my JAM and here, Usopp is hit by a DF power of this very same ability. TW cuz Usopp is depressed & suicidal (and his crew find out about it)

Bar stories by SaltyYagi

TW sexual assault, multichapter. Usopp almost gets raped in a bar, and then deals with the aftermath. It's VERY well-written, and his reaction to what happened and his feelings I thought were very realistic! His crew, of course, is there for him.

Smoke by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

>>Usopp's stuck somewhere, and he can't breathe. He thinks maybe it's the smoke? But then why does his chest hurt?<< Idk what to say, this might be THE best fic on the list, SUPERRR well-written and the 2nd chapter is just so much fuN! 🙂(🫠) (multichapter)

With a 100% Win Rate by Just_Fifi

....you know what, this fic and Smoke might just be tied for best written fic on this list. This one-shot is slice of life CENTRAL!! Ft. Usopp & Kaya and the Usopp Pirates playing games, and Usopp With a (frustrating, for Kaya) 100% Win Rate. VERY enjoyable! (one-shot)

Seed of Doubt by ladykarasu

One-shot, the idea of it is actually DEPRESSING. (pun kinda intended) Perona wanted revenge so she placed a ghostie in Usopp so it continually chips at his resolve and the result is...well, see for yourself!

The Seer by TheMightiestPen

I just LOVE when fics capitalize on Usopp's 'prophecy' skills, and this one takes it to the max! Some horrifying stuff, lots of BEAUTIFUL nakamaship, and the best thing of all is that it's a series and the second fic has been recently posted and is updating frequently!

Deconstructed by LessonsFromMoths

🥲...I think the summary says it all. >>Usopp loves his nakama. Despite his constant fear, protecting them is second nature....apparently, so is dying for them.

In which Usopp dies. Right?<< (minor Kaya/Usopp, multichapter)

Head High by ChijikatotokaShikukute (catoandtonto)

TW bullying: the violent, disgusting, and humilating kind (poor Usopp...). There's also other stuff, I recommend checking the tags first. Ongoing. This fic is INSANE. Modern AU, highschool. Usopp & the crew fought and they haven't made up (kinda like a bad W7 ending) and I would classify this fic as a mystery, specifically to the audience cuz we have no idea what's going then find out more chapter by chapter and it's all VERY interesting. I don't think i'm doing it justice, but trust me bro

The Truth In Our Lies by CaptainJojo

One-shot. This. THIS is all I've ever wanted in 2,239 words. >>Usopp doesn't have eight thousand followers. He doesn't have any real stories. Does he even exist? Does it matter?<< We've got Usopp feeling low, and then the Monster trio confronting him and showing him he's loved GAH IT"S SO GOOD PLZ READ IT!!!!

Calm Inside the Storm by ChijikatotokaShikukute

Ongoing. Usopp's chillin' when he's suddenly greeted with Merry's spirit/ghost, who's there to help him cuz apparently he's DYING and wow, this is a lot, but it's SO good (and unintentially funny XD). Honestly, this author never misses!

Solidarity by deadlysoupy

TW self-harm. One-shot. Why Usopp wears his armbands. (I like this headcanon)

Of faults and care by orphan_account

One-shot, Luffy & Usopp fluff, honestly the sweetest! >>Every week they would gather together, just the two of them. They would share the things they love and compliment each other. They don't actually know where this habit had come from, but they never questioned it.<<

A boy’s savior by SaltyYagi

One-shot. Usopp as a Whitebeard pirate (cool concept) meets confronting Yasopp

First Kisses by auriferousxbee (this one's locked btw)

One-shot. SUPER cute Kaya/Usopp! Their first kiss =P

Usopp's Struggle: A Painful Accident on the Sunny! by UsoppFangirl1

One-shot. (the title & username is honestly perfect, just wanted to say that~) Usopp's ammunition explodes and he's badly hurt. I just LOVE how the crew is very worried about him!

the things only He sees. by arurun

Multichapter, completed. IT"S SO FRICKING HILARIOUS!!! Usopp can see the devil fruits' spirits, and at first it drives him crazy (Gomu is a BRAT) but they all like him and it's just so amusing to see him deal with this and his crewmates thinking he's a bit weird XD

The Greatest Treasure by Pirate_Giraffe

one-shot. Oh my god....this one is one of my favorites, straight up because it is HILARIOUS!!!! STRAIGHT UP CRACK OH MY GOD I FELT LIKE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING XDDD Basically SHs arrive at Laugh Tale and the one piece is revealed...=)

You're Beatifuuul To Meeeeeee by e4679p

one-shot. short, but wholesomeness PERSONIFIED!!! >>After time-skip, Usopp finally thinks he has a chance with Kaya with his new mucled body and tell to his friends but Luffy disagree with him by saying he always had a chace meaning he was always beatiful and didn't need muscles (Off course Luffy is right)<<

Personally Confused by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. >>An untold story of Usopp developing Dissociative Personality Disorder.<< I think it's very interesting! Would've loved if it was longer...

Name-calling, and it's side effects by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. The crew start to notice Usopp's weird powers. Wonder where those came from...

Blood Bath by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. You know what, at this point I just recommend checking out the writer, all their OP fics are centered around Usopp! This one is one of the...angstier ones. =( >>In which the Strawhats are captured, and Usopp makes a deal with their captors for his crew's safety and freedom.<<

Where do I actually belong? by Haiiro_lolz

One-shot. Usopp thinking about his nakama. The vibes here are interesting--him loving and admiring his family but then kinda putting himself down.

Rocking of the Waves by sinelanguage

One-shot. This fic is like a warm hug, or a balm to your soul. ILY USOPP YOURE SUCH A SWEETHEART!!! (Usopp & Crew stuff)

Pathfinding by sinelanguage

One-shot. Zoro & Usopp GOODNESS!!! I read this a while back and I LOVE IT, both are stuck in a marine base and Usopp has to remotely guide Zoro to where he is before the base explodes. Very nice stuff👍

strongest soldier by Nianinn

TW Self-harm, one-shot. ZORO & USOPP CONTENT LE'S GOOO!!! Also a sprinkle of Robin & Choppah looking out for Usopp ;)

Hard of hearing or hardly working? by SaltyYagi

One-shot, Usopp becomes Hard of Hearing after his stay at Boin, and his fam, of course, supports him (and learns a bit of ASL =)

The confrontation by Jazmin_Dreemur

One-shot, what if Luffy & Usopp met and spoke before the crew set sail? The writing is a bit wonky cuz I think it was translated but it's still a nice read and I think there should be more fics with this idea.

Scars you (don't) have to hide by TushaMG

TW self-harm, one-shot. 🥹Sanji & Usopp bonding cuz of their scars. Well-written.

An Attempt at Atonement by redriotinggg

One-shot. >>Usopp apologizes for abandoning his crew.<< Emotional, and also the crew affirming Usopp (he is very much wanted, and not cuz of his 'usefulness').

Negative thoughts won't leave me alone by Vagabonde

One-shot. Usopp is drunk and Sanji takes care of him. VERY cute and funny<3

Usopp's Egghead Revelations by A_Smort_Person

One-shot, set after chap. 1095. Usopp stumbles upon some Seraphim research and has an interesting relevation. . .

There's nowhere to hide from me by Vagabonde

One-shot & one of my FAVES! This is action-packed, all of it well-written and Usopp is the in the center of it all! Truly the MVP.

He's a Wonderful Sniper by Anonymous

One-shot. Usopp's having a bad day, and his thoughts spiral and he wishes that he never joined the Strawhats so he wouldn't be a burden to them. An ethereal being answers his call, and shows him how things would've gone if he never joined. Well-done, and I honestly there were more fics that explored an AU where Usopp never joined.

days fade into a watercolor blur by eat_crow

One-shot. Depression hits Usopp like a hammer, and he just can't find it in himself to get out of bed. Thankfully his nakama always have his back, and in this case that nakama is Sanji (!!! LOVE their relationship and this fic!)

Jump In, the Water's Great! by Urndearing

Multichapter, ongoing. In this (INCREDIBLE) fic, Usopp isn't the sole focus but there's lots of attention given to him cuz the sirens do, after all, bring out everyone's worst fears and insecurities, and poor Usopp's got a lot of those. Could not recommend more!

The Love Life of Lady Long Nose by crackerjackermackeral

Multichapter, ongoing. This one's a RIOT! It's fem!Usopp and every chapter is about her in a different pairing. Everything's really well-written and also funny & cute, and the best part is you can just skip around to whatever pairing you're interested in!

The Coward's Redemption by Brucenorris007

Multichapter, ongoing, last update 2022 tho =( I just finished reading the first chapter and OH MY GOD AM I BLOWN AWAY!!!! It's a time travel fic where Usopp is sent back to fix things by Coby and so far, it's INCREDIBLY well-written!

I'm Sorry Too(2) by LastOblivion

Multichapter, ongoing, last update 2023 =(( BUT! You *MUST* read this! All Usopp fans, in this fic Usopp gets lots of love (and apologies) from his crewmates, and it's so incredibly sweet! Everyone is VERY in-character and it if doesn't make you go "aww" at least once then I'll eat my hat! (plz don't make me, it's my only one...)

In hollow towers and empty hives by SaltyYagi

Multichapter. >>Usopp is is a foul mood with no seeming reason, Zoro decides to figure out why.<< Cute Z&U actions, with some hurt/comfort as well. I really love this author and their Usopp fics, half of those are on here XD

Would you show up for me now? by IluvVaporeon

TW suicide mention, one-shot. Usopp writes a suicide letter to his bum of a dad (doesn't send it, of course) and I remember liking how passive-aggressive it was.

"House of Gold" by EMA_literature

One-shot, songfic. Usopp tells Chopper (and his eavesdropping crewmates) about his mom. Short & sweet!

bountiful treasures by Nomadstarlight

One-shot, 17k words of chaos & hilarity! The SHs are bounty hunters and this is all from Usopp's POV--his journey is honestly incredible and that ending DELIVERED XD

Grilled Fish for the Sniper's Soul by carmerlin

One-shot. Usopp breaks his foot and Luffy & Sanji (& the rest, but the focus is on these two) are taking care of him. GOD this is incredible! Wonderful characterization and very humerous--also the little Sanji moments are 👌

The Restless Barber of Syrup by Evilgu

One-shot, Wild Wild West AU. Literally the BEST THING EVER!! Everything from the setting to the characterization to the plot (it's not a repurposed Kuro) is wonderful, and Usopp really shines!

Merry in a Bottle by BeccasStoriesToTellInTheDark

One-shot, Minor Kaya/Usopp. This is an Usopp&crew-come-back-to-Syrup-Villaige fic and it is PHENOMENAL. There's Usopp & Kaya, Usopp & the Vegetables, and Usopp & Crew moments and they are all wonderful! Very slice of life, feelgood read.

Consumed by Kooabreen

Multi-chapter, ongoing as of writing this. This is a modern AU horror fic that is EXPERTLY written, even better cuz it's from Usopp's POV. I don't wanna say too much, so just trust me on this!

Your Protector by character-studious-drabbles (character_studious)

Drabble. >>Usopp has nightmares. Then he stops. (He never figures out the reason why.)<< I'm only gonna link this one fic but check out their rest! They've got a bunch of nice drabbles for Usopp, and the Strawhats in general.

[genderqueerdykes]

Different anon, but can you explain what a bullydyke is? I figure asking someone who seems to know a lot about this stuff is better than getting 10 different conflicting answers off of google

that's a great question!

"bulldyke" is an even MORE aggressive form of dyke that is generally speaking weaponized against black people, but has in more recent years come to be weaponized against very masculine lesbians, trans women, trans men, or women interpreted this way. it has a similar history to the black lesbian term "stud" in that black people, queer or not, have been compared to and called animals in areas that have been colonized by white europeans with black slaves for centuries.

we have been compared to livestock such as horses- black men were called "studs" and black women were called "stallions" so it was only natural for colonizers to begin to start using even harsher terms. bulls, as in the animal, are viewed as hyper aggressive, dangerous, mean animals. ugly. unwanted. unlikeable. this is how white colonizers view black folk, so to them, comparing masculine black women to bulls was natural, as white colonizers view black women as too masculine, violent, angry, and aggressive.

part of it comes from how white europeans view the facial and body features of black women as "too masculine". white colonizers became absolutely disgusted at how women of color don't look like white women and began literally dehumanizing black women strictly because they do not find them attractive. language evolved over time, and while i can't tell you exactly when and where bulldyke first became a widely spread term, but i can tell you that even Leslie Feinberg was encountering this term in the 50s, 60s, 70s and so on.

"bulldykes" are seen as the most 'masculine' lesbians, women and people- it's often reserved for people who are so masculine (or perceived to be masculine) that it causes rage and disgust beyond the base level hatred for lesbians, masc women, trans women, trans men, and others who are affected by just the term "dyke". it is also generally targeted toward bigger people, fat or muscular, it doesn't really matter. nowadays it's been broadened to affect all "masculine women", regardless of race, though it still is heavily targeted against black women and people of color in general.

my own (white) mom weaponized this slur against me when i was a kid- and i know part of her reason for doing so is because i'm mixed (dad is black). she would get upset at how i dressed and presented myself, angrily calling me a bulldyke whenever i refused to dress feminine or act feminine. she hated how my face looked, how big my nose was, how strong my jaw was, my hooded, deep set eyes, my heavy brow. she hated that because i was intersex, i started growing a beard.

she would tell me not to look, act or dress the way i did because people would start assuming she was a lesbian, because she "let" me be a big ugly bulldyke. my mom was a closeted lesbian- she constantly told me about how she wished she could sleep with, date and marry women. she projected a lot of her trauma and fear on to me, especially her trauma with being called butch due to how masculine she looked and dressed.

it didn't help that my best friend was a feminine girl who spent most of her time with me. it was to the point where both of our families were calling us lesbos, dykes, and so on. my feminine friend never got called a bulldyke, though. it was only me. because i was mixed, big, fat, never wore makeup, didn't dress feminine, and acted "like a guy". i could not escape the terms bull/dyke and butch all throughout my childhood and teen years and as such these terms are all extremely important to me to reclaim.

especially bulldyke. it's a term that i never expected my own mother to weaponize against me- i was used to being called a dyke, a lesbo, and a butch at school, but not at home. i never really heard other kids call me a bulldyke- it was only my mother who used it against me. it stuck with me

i hope that helps! i know it's hard to find the roots of queer slurs, when they first started being used, and so on. if you have any more questions feel free to ask~

[catsandpens]

P1Harmony with vampire!Reader

Keeho

Your companion died after being together for 50 years. After being alone for more than ten years,  trying to discover yourself, you believed that the time was now, to find a new companion. The search for your new companion within the vampire console was disappointing so you redirected your search to the humans. You suddenly remember a man from your past life before changing to a vampire. Remembering his witty humor and fascinating charm. You wondered how his descendants were doing, knowing that your old fling is long gone.You come across a young daring gentleman known as Keeho who appears identical to your former connection. You introduce yourself to him and become acquainted. When it came time to explain your true nature and intentions with Keeho, he accepted without hesitation. Keeho has always desired to live a long and fruitful life, and now he has the opportunity to do it with someone who shares his beliefs.

Theo hails from a long history of vampire hunters. He recalls his father telling him stories about how a group of vampires invaded his family's village years ago and how it is up to the Choi family's descendants to seek revenge. It became lonesome for Theo, growing up outside of civilization and hunting vampires, which was not a simple endeavor. Things would change when he witnessed you draining the life from one of your prey. His hesitation to kill gave you the opportunity to escape. Theo usually felt disgust towards vampires but that feeling just did not appear for you. This was the beginning of a cat and mouse relationship where he chases you to “avenge his family” while you try to convince him to become a vampire so they can spend the rest of their lives together.

During your midnight strolls throughout the human world, you discover Jiung, your soon-to-be faithful familiar, beaten and left for dead on the road. Considering it was a night of festivities for the mortals, you thought that the wounded man had an encounter with the wrong people. Your subconscious swiftly advised you not to get involved; it was mortal business and had nothing to do with you. You gazed at Jiung for a while longer, thinking, "I bet he would look truly dashing without that blackeye," and as you began walking away, you heard his weak pleas for help. You impulsively welcomed Jiung back into your home to nurture him back to health. When he was able to communicate, he praised your charity and offered you his life to repay you for rescuing him. Knowing how useful a familiar can be, you welcomed Jiung as your familiar. Jiung has since been faithful to you alone, maintaining your secrets and catering to every single one of your needs.

Every year on your birthday, you would travel to a random town and feast with the humans. This year was particularly memorable, with a man knocking down drink after drink and demonstrating his immense strength by defeating five men back to back in an arm wrestling match. Intak the human enchanted you, just as you enchanted him. Intak spent the entire night trying to impress you, flashing his muscular physique and raving about all the jobs he's getting, and you relished every moment of the attention you were receiving. You choose to take him back to your cabin to "get to know each other" and reveal your true nature to him. Intak was distraught at first with your little secret , but he swiftly warmed up to the concept after you presented him with a gift he couldn't refuse.

Soul descends from an ancient line of secretive, powerful witches. He was very talented at producing potions in his family and would frequently spend the majority of his time searching for high-quality herbs. All of the time spent in nature helped the young witch form strong bonds with the land and its inhabitants. During one of his explorations, he sees a flash across his vision. Out of curiosity, he chooses to pursue it. When Soul catches up with the fast dark creature, he sees you drain an enormous male deer. Soul casts a minor spell to stop you, but it does more harm to the vampire than he imagined possible. You apologize for eating off his animal friend and explain how you feed off animals in order to avoid hurting people. Soul could only feel awful for the vampire and offers to help you in finding animals to eat. The two super beings developed a powerful bond, making them invincible. A witch and his vampire.

You and Jongseob come from two of the most famous vampire families. Both families became close together while also trying to one up another. You and Jongseob mothers would frequently have tea together and boast about what new fortunes they gained or how their husbands are conquering different parts of the world. This competitive nature between the parents continued on with you and Jongseob. Jongseob showing off how many humans he fed on in one night and you showing off her new vampire ability. You would often complain to her mother about how much of a bothersome Jongseob was but refused to actually separate from him. Jongseob on the other hand believes his teasing to be acts of support and genuine advice. He only wants their two families to continue thriving and elevating and he enjoys elevating with you.

AN: Most of my understanding of vampire lore comes from what we do in the shadows so…

[summer-nights19]

Knb characters as icks

This is just for the shits and giggles, please don't attack me if I ruin your fave

@neoo SORRY I HAD TO ☠

Midorima-

He's into astrology. This requires no further elaboration.

Kagami-

Is chronically American- no matter where he is, he talks about how thing x is better in America and will fight you if you disagree. Has a lot if those goofy American flag stickers and shirts. He also uses the terms "grind" and "hustle" unironically.

Kuroko-

Is really dry - he's the kinda person to leave you on read or give really short, monosyllabic replies without meaning anything by it, but it makes talking to him SO much harder and more awkward (God save you if you if you're an introvert too)

Aomine-

Sweats like hell during basketball games. This gets mixed with the smell of his cologne and he claims it's his "natural manly scent" (Kagami 100% does this too). It's disgusting. Gets really competitive over small, casual things like card games and gaming matches and gets really salty if you win. CANNOT lose for the life of him.

"The only one who can defeat me is me !"

"Calm down, we're literally playing uno🙄"

Murasakibara-

When he's too lazy to do something, he just pesters/guilt trips you until you do it. You'll both be in bed and he'll need a drink and instead of getting up and going to the kitchen, he pokes you and repeatedly asks you to get him a drink. If you say no, he looks at you like this :< while telling you you're mean.

Kise-

He accidentally acts flirty with others. The kinda guy to just start complimenting and chatting up all the friends you introduce him to without even realising. The fact that he's completely clueless when you confront him about it makes it simultaneously better and worse. Also the kinda person to be flexing his about his rizz all the time.

Akashi-

Has negative communication skills. If he's angry, he'll deadass just ignore you and you have to ask him 50 times before he eventually tells you what's wrong. Is also absolutely terrible at apologising and taking accountability for the role he plays in arguments, but gets pissed if you're the same way.

Takao-

Uses cutesy talk in the most inappropriate situations. You could be geniuenly fuming and he'd be like "sowwyy :333" thinking it's endearing. It's really not.

Hyuga-

Is actually a massive simp. His personality does a one eighty when he's around you, and he changes all his opinions and attitudes according to yours. It's really obvious, but he denies it furiously if someone points it out.

Lmk if I missed anyone and I apologise again for subjecting you to this ☠

Masterlist

[unnamed-blob]

The Ocean Is My...

⇢ Pairing: Mer Ghostface/Meg Thomas

⇢ Length: Multi-chapter

⇢ Chapters: (1 - Home) (2 - Grave) (3 - Drug) (4)

⇢ Synopsis: The ocean has been Meg's home for as long as she can remember. But the tides have shifted with a new mer appearing, and now Meg has to fight to keep her head above the waves left in his wake.

⇢ A/N: Happy Mermay! And I'm only- *flips calendar* 6 months late! In all seriousness though, I'm quite proud of this work. I've managed to go from solely oneshots to multichaptered works (fun fact, this one's exactly 50 words under 4,000!). And incorporate more of my style into this one. As always, loosely inspired by Slash's delicious art. Happy reading! And feel free to tell me what you think!

Meg inhaled deeply, feeling the salty sea air rush into her mouth and settle in her lungs. The sun tentatively peeked over the horizon, the sky awashed in watercolor hues shifting between every glance as the stars twinkled down at her. The sand was cold from the chill of the night, but the water was warm where it lapped at her feet. It tugged at her ankles, like the bounding foam of excited puppies trying to drag her in. 

“Come in! Come in!” The water called, large waves breaking the horizon and crashing back into itself. “Come home,” the beach whispered, wind pulling wisps of hair from her face. 

And Meg obeyed.

She gripped her board tighter, hoisted it higher, before breaking into a run; the water rushing up to meet her as she dove in. The motions came as easy as breathing and Meg broke through to inhale the crisp air, easily settling on her surfboard as she paddled further out. 

⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡

The redhead propped herself up with her hands, legs swung over one side of her board as they leisurely swung in the water. She tilted her head back to bask in the warmth of the rising sun, drying out her wet hair and swimsuit. 

Now she felt like she could properly breathe. 

Meg couldn’t recount when her morning ritual had begun, could only mention that she’d practically taken to water from the moment she could walk. She was more than grateful that she’d landed a job as a swim instructor for children, able to spend her entire day in water.

Of course though, no pool could compare to the ocean. To the natural beauty of it, it’s liveliness as it’d lift her board into the air, until Meg was certain she knew what it meant to fly. 

When the world would seem to fall away and every stress left behind the moment her feet touched the sand. Where it would just be her and the ocean for a moment, where no other people remained. 

Meg shifted with a groan, glancing at the sun’s position as she shielded her eyes. Her internal clock was ringing an annoying alarm of departure. If she wanted to get to work on time, it’d be best to leave now. 

Meg tilted her body to the side, slipping one foot from the water to straddle her board. The ocean protested immediately, small waves breaching the stillness to bat at her board. 

She dipped her hand in the water in apology, swaying it through the clear, blue liquid. It’s not as if she was keen to leave as well, but she’d be back the next day! There was no need to throw a tantrum. 

The water stilled and Meg glanced at her surroundings one final time before she shifted into a comfortable position. 

A piece of seaweed abruptly startled her as it wrapped around her ankle, firmly coiling in place. Meg grimaced at the cool, slick sensation of it, practically alive as it swayed with the current. She dropped her hand into the water, bracing against the board with the other as she grasped at it.  

She blinked, then shuddered in disgust. 

It was strangely… thick. And circular… 

Meg’s hand grabbed at it, intent on removing it immediately- it returned the favor, small suckers attaching to her palm as she yelped and jolted upwards. 

In a moment, too quick to even gasp for air, the board tilted out from under her, the water rushing up to meet her as Meg was yanked down.

[laniusbignaturals]

Please more modern Edward!

I’ll assume this is the same person who asked for titplay headcanons, so this will be NSFT. There’s also violence and grotesque toxicity. Be wary of that.

Absolutely disgusting first one but whatever - his nose is huge, and he likes to bare knucklebox, so naturally it’s been dislocated several times. Often he will just snap the bone back into place with his knuckles. This sounds cool on paper, but it doesn’t do anything to alter the ridiculous, nasally, congested tone that develops in his voice every time he sustains this injury, so. Cringe!

Edward doesn’t have as many tattoos in this universe, but he does have a branding on his arm from his time spent in a fraternity in college. He used a frozen brand, because he’s scared of fire. (I know.)

Joshua would love to strangle him but his neck is really thick and Joshua’s hands aren’t that big, so he can never do it as effectively as he would like to. This frustration increases the thrill for both of them, tbh.

Edward likes short bitches because he is a short bitch because he looks bigger standing next to them and they’re often just as pissy, spiteful and tense as he is.

As I’ve referenced in the past, Edward has done coke, but he’s not as big of a speedfreak/accelerant lover as you might assume of a man like him. Edward, constitutionally, is hardly ever calm, content or relaxed. Alcohol might soothe that need for others, but Edward severely dislikes the way heavy drinking debilitates his control over himself, so he doesn’t do it unless he’s desperate. Other depressants, like Xanax, Oxy and Neuroleptics have been known to work well on him. But these trips bring him dangerously close to like, meaningfully doubting himself. So he doesn’t do them often, and always acts like he’s forgotten their contents completely once they’re over.

On that note: Edward forgets a lot of stuff. It’s his superpower. It’s cus he’s a gaslighter, it’s cus he grew up without a sense of objective truth, it’s cus he saw a lot of things that small children can’t comprehend and learned how to stop accepting reality on command to stave off an immediate breakdown. It just sort of comes naturally to him, so much so that he’s confident this is human nature. And he’s sure as shit not gonna let objective fact get in the way of that judgement anytime soon.

Edward worked enough Real Jobs that he could always live comfortably before solidifying a corrupt position of power. By the time he’s in his late 50s/early 60s, they’ve really stacked up. He’s been an editor, a foreman, a bail bondsmen, a landlord, a professor (for court mandated community service hours,) a chef, and pretty much every other profession that’s easier if you’re a complete jackass. The long term affect of this Jack-Of-All-Trades lifestyle is that he doesn’t have shared life experience with most other people. This helps him isolate himself more comfortably.

Joshua once watched Edward slice up someone’s throat with a pair of garden shears. Afterwards, they went out to eat and Edward got him to break some Mormon food rules. It was a cute date.

Joshua’s got a big family, and he was fond of most of them. Edward might have an extended family, but if he does, he is rejecting them like a bad limb transplant. He actively does not want to know if he’s got any living half siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or cousins. He doesn’t even talk to his old high school friends. He will be an only child till the grave.

This is not an original thought, but he’s a beer guy. He’s that beer guy. The one who uses it as a part of his personality the way toxic white girls do iced coffee. Not only that it’s a weird sadomasochistic performance of gender, but also that he uses its purveyance and consumption as an expression of intimacy and camaraderie. Asking if you want a beer is Edward’s idea of affection.

Another thing Edward does for people he thinks he cares about is protect their ego. He will take your side when you’re obviously wrong and buy you a new blouse when you ruin yours and roll up all the windows in the car when you’re having a meltdown in the passenger seat. This behavior exists alongside intense possessiveness and sporadic cruelty because of course it does. Edward is sweet as antifreeze. The state of possession and the loss of autonomy is the only dynamic he believes to be worth maintaining, and even then, it’s more about the attempt than ever being fully successful. To receive his love is sickening.

Joshua has torn the buttons on Edward’s shirt to lick rivulets of wine off his breasts and pistol whipped him before jerking off on his bloody face and ashed cigarettes on him mid-fuck and called him every filthy degrading name in the book and Edward still identifies as the dominant between them. He is clinging to that pitcher’s mound like a ship in a storm.

He doesn’t believe in god, but there is room in his mind for hell. Deep down, he craves it. The grandiosity, the submission, the finality. Joshua likes this about him.

Have you ever broken into a house or apartment while the owner was at home? Edward has. It used to be for the purpose of stealing, but he didn’t give up the practice when he became economically stable. The truth is that he enjoys it. He enjoys busting in doors and breaking windows and hearing wives and daughters scream and making people feel scared & helpless in a place they thought was safe. This is such a brazen maladaptive recreation of his own trauma that he’ll sometimes find himself having uncomfortable emotions while doing it, so it’s an occasional occurrence. But still.

He had the most control over his body in his early and mid twenties, so during that era he had a quiet exhibition fetish. He’d get into bars, gyms, classrooms, bathhouses and libraries after hours with whoever he was fucking that month & get totally naked, savoring the fantasy of being seen and admired by dozens of eyes. His idea of beauty is an empty room. (No this doesn’t indicate anything about him what are you talking about.)

[pomegranate]

THANK YOU to both @amrv-5 and @hawkesque for tagging me to ask for my list of

9 of my favourite films that I watched for the first time this year!

I’ve seen 49 new (to me) movies this year - and I will be watching at least one more new one before tomorrow at midnight to cap it off at 50 - and there were a lot of really great ones overall, but these ones get the honour of being named my favourites.

(after making this list I realized 4 of them take place during periods of sweltering heat lmao. INTERESTING)

- Past Lives (2023, dir. Celine Song): I talked about this one a bit in that end of the year ask meme but I really didn’t know what to expect going into this one and came out deeply affected in a way I’ve not been able to put into words. I can’t believe this is Celine Song’s directorial and screenwriting debut?!?! It feels so well-crafted and extremely deserving of the praise it’s received. I think this description from a Looper listicle sums it up beautifully: "a master class in the art of subtlety while evoking complex human emotions. The minimalist love story is like no other in how it expertly captures the slow-burn nature of fate. It's a bittersweet experience that'll leave you aching for all of life's "what-ifs.""

- Asteroid City (2023, dir. Wes Anderson): I really enjoy some Wes Anderson films but a few of his more recent ones missed the mark for me, so I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this one. Happily, I had an absolutely fantastic time watching this with friends - it’s funny and inventive in a way that really tickled me, and the heartbreaking romance woven into the “background” of the story (quotation marks bc it’s not really the background) really stuck with me.

- High and Low (1963, dir. Akira Kurosawa): I’ll admit I wanted to see this after Ayo Edebiri included it in her Criterion Closet video bc I have a massive crush on her and I admire her taste, and BOY it did not disappoint! It’s just under 2 and a half hours long but I was so wrapped up in the tension and drama that the time absolutely flew by. My first Kurosawa film but definitely not my last!

- Nine To Five (1980, dir. Colin Higgins): I did not expect to have so much fun watching this but I should’ve known a movie starring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton would have me clapping my hands and stomping my feet with delight. Dabney Coleman is also SO great as their disgusting boss and a special shout out to him for how funny he was in each of their little fantasy sequences. God, if only real life was as satisfying as the ending of this film.

- Roman Holiday (1953, dir. William Wyler): I’ve had this on DVD for years but only got around to watching it this past August and OH what a beautiful movie! It’s wild to me that this was Audrey Hepburn’s first film; she’s totally captivating and I can’t take my eyes off her the entire time. Definitely one I’ll be returning to again and again.

- Moonlight (2016, dir. Barry Jenkins): I’m embarrassed it took me this long to watch this film but unsurprisingly, it’s as magnificent as everyone has always said. Chiron’s story is told so beautifully and the way it all comes together in the end is simply perfect. Every performance felt vivid and authentic and each actor who played Chiron made him feel like a real person I was watching grow up on my screen. Quite possibly one of the best movies of all time.

- Dog Day Afternoon (1975, dir. Sidney Lumet): I challenged myself to only include one Al Pacino movie on this list and since this is the one that kicked off my Pacino era (despite me having watched Cruising earlier this year), it’s gotta be here. Watching it a second time also highlighted how well made it is as a film - Al is magnetic in his performance as a desperate man pushed to the brink to take care of the person he loves. The rest of the cast is fantastic as well, especially the tellers, led by Penelope Allen. And now that I’ve seen the 2nd Godfather installment, my love for John Cazale has blossomed fully. I love the deeply disturbed Sal sooooo much. GOD I haven’t even touched on Lumet’s insanely masterful direction and the fact that this movie swings from unbearable tension to being hysterically funny within moments is BEYOND incredible. MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!

- Rear Window (1954, dir. Alfred Hitchcock): Another one that I’m embarrassed I hadn’t seen until this year, despite recognizing many references to it through pop culture (most notably the Simpsons ep where Bart thinks Flanders has murdered his wife). It lives up to the hype, with a murder mystery so well-crafted that even if you KNOW where the story is going, you’re still not entirely sure what’s going to happen next. I’m also so fascinated by Hitchcock’s use of cameras (both Jeff’s and the actual camera filming the movie) to show us the range of humanity on display within a fairly confined area and how Jeff’s voyeurism is contrasted with our voyeurism as the audience. I need to watch this again bc I know I wasn’t fully appreciating that storytelling device the first time.

- Do The Right Thing (1989, dir. Spike Lee): I said this in my other post from the end of the year meme, but I had absolutely no idea what to expect going into this movie and it floored me. I was immediately drawn into the vibrant community where I’d be spending the next couple of hours, with Lee’s distinctive directing style making me feel like I was right there in Brooklyn with the characters as the heat and tension simultaneously reached a boiling point. The explosion that we see kick off with about half an hour left to go in the runtime is inevitable but still felt like a punch in the stomach. God. I think my heart rate is climbing just thinking about it. One of the most powerful cinematic experiences I’ve had in a long time.

Honourable mentions that didn’t make this list include Bottoms (2023), Charade (1963), Some Like It Hot (1959), Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), Hundreds Of Beavers (2022), Scream (1996), …And Justice For All (1979), The Godfather Part II (1974), Fancy Dance (2023), and The Holdovers (2023).

As for tagging other people, I’m going to leave it blank for now bc I’ve been sitting in a chilly vehicle writing this but I may come back later, not sure! I don’t want to pressure anyone who doesn’t feel like doing it but PLEASE do it if you want to & tag me in your lists bc I would love to read them!!!