#they are in such precarious situations and are just trying to make ends meet and employers & the cops are so cruel to them

[handweavers]

lets turn this conversation back to asia lmao. i also find it interesting how these terms have shifted here in seasia. grew up pretty much understanding that asians that come here are immigrants while white people that come here are expats, even if the white people give up their citizenship. what i find interesting is that recently there has been a shift, rich people from other asian countries are also being labelled as "exapts" whether or not they plan to migrate back. however the racism still prevails - people who were completely fine with white expats are complaining and protesting about asian expats stealing their jobs. you'll never see a poor asian person get the expat treatment though, even if they are only here to make some money and go back in a few years. there's your nuance random commentor

exactly, like you'll never see an indonesian or filipino woman who comes to work as a maid in malaysia or singapore to make some money and go back in a few years being called an expat, she is always an "immigrant" but a wealthier person from south korea or japan doing white collar work may now be described as an "expat" much like westerners. like you said, white people who immigrate permanently and even take up citizenship are still called "expats" and not "immigrants" because the word "immigrant" has racial and class connotations. my mom is a white canadian who immigrated to malaysia and has had PR for 20+ years but she's only ever called an expat, not an immigrant. whereas my (malaysian indian) dad in canada has held canadian PR for 40+ years and he's only ever been called an immigrant, even though he had no intention of staying permanently.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Twelve Days: Part 5 **^

Here's the next part! Sorry it took so long 😭 But A LOT happens in this part and it might make y'all a little angry but I think the ending makes up for it!

Full Series Masterlist

WC: 10.5K

Warnings: Infidelity, mentions of slight germaphobia, mentions of unkept/untidy home life, fear of abandonment, sex (unprotected, penetrative), mentions of divorce.

It didn’t take as long as you had been expecting to hear back from Harry. Just another few days, you had just gotten into your car after a dinner service at a client’s home when his call came in. You were excited but feeling a bit nervous regarding the purpose of the call, it could be very casual but given the precarious situation you all found yourselves in, it could also be a call about things getting even more complicated. Regardless of what it was, you wanted to hear his voice.

“Hello?” You answered as you started to take off.

“Hi, how was your day?” He asked and you smiled.

“It was alright. And yours?” You asked.

“Busy. I had two lectures today, I’m just getting my things together before going home.” He shared.

“Okay. I am just heading home myself.” You shared.

“Good, I’m glad we get to accompany each other on our drives.” He said and you smiled.

“So how was it when you got back home?” You asked.

“We had a fight…she AirTag-ged my car.” He disclosed and your features twisted in concern.

“What?!”

“Right? Said she needed to confirm that I would go see you. I told her that I would’ve been honest about my plans if she asked.” Harry explained.

“It’s not like we did anything bad.”

“That’s what I told her. She seemed surprised for some reason.”

“Maybe because I’ve always been the more…liberated of the two.” You explained and he chuckled a bit and you smiled. “This would also disprove her theory that you’ve been spending time with me to make her jealous. I feel like that pisses her off more than anything.” You explained. “She’s always been first choice…” you said, “I get it though. She just puts herself out there more and whatnot, she’s easier to notice. I don’t mind that. I’m definitely more of a background girl, it’s where I thrive and feel comfortable so I’ve never competed her for it and I think she might…sense this…us as me trying to compete with her.” You explained.

“Well that’s shitty for me.”

“It is. And I promise you, I’m not trying to compete for you.” You assured him.

“I know, love. It just sucks thatshe is…” he said solemnly.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“Don’t feel bad for me, love.” He hummed.

“I do because you don’t deserve it. No one does! I just hopes she…gets some clarity soon. This is getting so insane.” You sighed.

“I don’t want to…create a bigger divide but she’s being pretty harsh towards you. She thinks it’s stupid of me to invest all this time in you because according to her, you’re a flake.” He said and you pouted.

“A flake?” You asked for clarification, you were shocked.

“Yep…she’s just saying things at this point.”

“Yeah.” You hummed.

“Well, I’ve given her a month, in my head. To just get her ducks in a row, meet with the lawyer, figure out what she’s going to do…if she doesn’t, I’m going to talk to your parents and ask them to please…reason with her.” He shared and you hummed, “Do you think they would?” He asked you.

“I think so…they love you so much. My mom has always said you’re the son she never got to have.” You shared and he chuckled.

“Did she?”

“She did! Has actually said it on multiple occasions.” You reassured him.

“Well that does make me feel better.” He hummed.

“Good.” You grinned.

After getting that over with, it was just some light conversation about the good and bad parts of your days until he had arrived home. You were going to do some grocery shopping before getting back to your apartment but assured him you’d let him know when you’d made it home. 

Thankfully, Ash hadn’t shown up again. You half expected another visit and had been feeling on edge arriving at your apartment the last few days, but with each passing day you  tried to let the anxiety diminish. You were loving your quiet life alone so far. You also liked your apartment and were sad that you might have to move if he ever showed up again, but you just needed to not see him again. It was disrespectful really, his inability to honor your wishes after he had left you the way he had. You were feeling even more upset by Bea telling him where you had moved to. You let her know that what she had done was completely unacceptable and just blocked her on everything. You’d observed the way she always got a little more flirty when Ash was around but didn’t think it’d get to the point where she’d share your private information just to get on his good side. Especially when she knew you wanted nothing more to do with him. Hopefully, you’d seen the last of him so that you could actually focus on the dilemma at hand. Your sister. 

You were genuinely feeling really worried over what Julie’s next steps would be. You wanted to talk to her but she wasn’t answering your calls or responding to any of your texts just yet. Of course she had the right to be angry with you, but to think you were just using Harry for attention or to make her jealous? That wasn’t in your nature at all. To call you a flake? You were steadfast as can be, she knew this. You were raised the same. You were definitely hurt by her remarks, but you founds some solace in the knowledge that she was projecting her own insecurities about Joe onto you. This was the man who she had personally told you had some commitment issues! The man who undoubtedly made his way back into her life when he saw the seemingly perfect life she was leading with Harry via her social media, through the outlet she had used to allow him back into her life. 

You wanted to correct this narrative Julie had made up of you so badly because she ought to know you better than what she was choosing to believe of you. You had never had the type of sister relationship that made you best friends, like you’d mentioned to Harry, there’d always been an air of competition. Being just three years older than you, you’d coincided academically on a few occasions and you really didn’t start to “fight back” until high school. Naturally, you were a bit more likable because you were more laid back . You were great in your classes without imparting as much effort, which surprised your teachers. You soon learned that they expected you to be a little more of a wooer as she had been but when they learned you weren’t they eased up on you, the other students did too. Comparison was a killer and after one awful fight she told you that you had ruined her senior year. She had been cold towards you after that until she was off at college. And well, you decided not to go that route, you went to culinary school instead. And that gave her enough of the sense of superiority that she needed to have over you to placate her.

It had been a week after your conversation with Harry that you had your appointment with your therapist and had gotten to speak to her about what your sister had been saying and how you were feeling about it all. She had been supportive of you trying to go speak with her and so you had done just that. It was the end of her workday and though you felt like a stalker for being parked next to her car waiting for her…this was the only way you’d get anything from her. When you saw her approaching the car you hopped out of yours. As soon as she caught your gaze she noticeably became deflated. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked you and you offered a slightly nervous smile.

“Hi.” You greeted Julie. “I was just hoping we could go for dinner and talk?” You asked hopefully.

“About?” She asked cooly.

“What you saw.” You said and you saw her lips purse a bit as she gnawed the inside of her cheek pensively.

“I don’t know…I mean…I know what I saw, I don’t think we need to rehash it.” She stated as she crossed her arms.

“Well you’re still not talking to me so…”

“Because you kissed my husband!” She scowled.

“I know and I’m sorry-”

“No you’re not.” She cut you off.

“I’m not sorry for kissing him. I’m sorry that my actions upset you and angered you.” You clarified.

“So you’re sorry you got caught?” She asked.

“Not necessarily…I mean, I know that you actually don’t care that I kissed him. You don’t love him, so I know that it didn’t hurt you.” You said and she glanced away, “So I’m here to figure out what exactly you’re still so offended with me over.” You said and her gaze found yours again.

“You couldn’t have gone for anyone else?” She asked.

“I didn’t go for him, Julie! We were literally just talking about the things that we were dealing with. I mean, we’ve always had a good relationship as friends, you know that! But through these experiences we’ve been through we bonded on a new level. The attraction was just…there. It wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t a plan of any sort! And the fact that you believe I would do something like that…” you said sadly, “I’m not calculating like that. You know that. And to be quite honest with you, I feel like…your anger actually has nothing to do with me. It’s just being directed at me and that makes me upset.” You said and her jaw clenched a bit. “Well…that’s all I wanted to say so…” you trailed off and she just nodded but said nothing else. 

After standing there in silence for a few seconds you just got into your car and left. You had done your part and now, the ball was in Julie’s court. You hoped that she would give what you’d said some honest thought and consideration. You had only been on the road for a few minutes when a call came in from Harry.

“Hey.” You greeted him.

“That was enthusiastic.” He chuckled sardonically and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Sorry. I’m just heading home from ambushing my sister.” You informed.

“Ah…I take it didn’t go too well?” 

“Not really…” you confirmed. “She didn’t say much apart from the usual accusations of me interfering in your marriage.” You sighed. “I also presented to her the idea that maybe the things she’s been saying of me are actually her displacing her anger with her situation with Joe onto me. That one did upset her, I saw it in her eyes.” You elaborated.

“Yeah, she doesn’t love to be in the wrong…” Harry chuckled. 

“Yeah. And have you made any headway with her?”

“I don’t know…we’ll see tomorrow. She has an appointment with the lawyer. I’ve already asked mine what I can do if she refuses to sign.” 

“And what did the lawyer say?”

“I can petition through the court for them to serve her the divorce papers. If she does’t sign within a certain timeline then the judge can make a default ruling to dissolve the marriage. So there is a way to proceed if she doesn’t abide by my timeline. I just…I don’t want to put her through that humiliation because the only place I know where to find her apart from our house would be her job.”

“Yeah, that’s low…” you agreed. “I mean, you can AirTag her…” you chuckled and he laughed.

“I could…that low has been reached.” He hummed in amusement. “We also have to get a court date if I go that route and who knows how long that would take.”

“Yeah…let’s just hope she does the right thing and comes around.”

“Yeah.” Harry agreed. “I’d like to see you again soon.” He said after a beat of silence.

“I’d like to see you too.” You hummed.

“Been seeing those videos of the couples painting each other…” Harry shared and you giggled.

“Is that what you want to do?”

“Yeah! I think it’d be fun, don’t you?” He asked and you giggled some more.

“Yeah, I think so too!”

“And I can cook for you this time.”

“Love that.” You hummed.

“And we can ask each other all the questions we have for each other over dinner and the painting.” He added to his suggestion.

“Yeah! That sounds like such a fun evening!” You agreed excitedly.

“Good! So let me know when you’ll have at least two days in a row off so that we can also have a little extra time the day after.”

“Okay, I’ll check my work calendar when I get home.”

“Perfect.” Harry smiled. “How are you holding up? Did Ash show up again?”

“I’m alright, still feeling a little…annoyed, I guess. But no, he didn’t come back.” You shared.

“Would you want him to come back? I mean, just so you can clear the air?”

“The more I give it some thought, not really. He’s said what he wanted to say…that he made a mistake, that he loves me and wants me back…” you said with a sarcastic, sing-song-y cadence. 

“Do you want to say anything to him?”

“Just how much he hurt me but if anything, that gives him more power over me and I’d hate that.” You confessed.

“I’d hate that for you too. But if you need that for your closure then it might be worth thinking over before completely disregarding it.” Harry advised, as much as he really did hate the thought of you giving Ash another morsel of your time and attention. He wasn’t jealous, more protective than anything. You were still a shell of yourself and he hated that Ash had done that to you. 

“Maybe you’re right…but I mean, just saying it out loud is enough for now.” You said, “Thank you for…making me feel comfortable and safe enough to be able to say it.” You thanked him.

“Of course, love.” Harry replied. 

Harry was happy that he could make you feel safe and looked after. But he also wanted that same reassurance from you. He understood why you weren’t leaning into that 

and into your feelings for him just yet though. You had every right to feel wary about what you two had going, especially with the stance Julie had taken. But that also meant that right now he had no one to really talk about his heavier and darker feelings. He knew for a fact that if he communicated that to you, you’d be there for him but he also didn’t want to overburden you while you yourself were struggling.

“And what about you? I know that maybe your feelings for Julie are not what they used to be but…it also can’t be easy for you.” You said and he bit his lip as he gave some thought to what he wanted to say.

“You’re right about that…It hasn’t been easy. I mean, because of my family and all, it’s created this…fear of being left behind.” He explained. “That weekend that I went to see you?”

“Mhmm?”

“She didn’t come home until Monday afternoon and when I got in she’d left her suitcase by the garage door and I was just filled with dread that she was leaving without saying anything to me.” He explained. “It felt…confusing…because, while I know that the love isn’t there anymore I still…invested a lot in her. In our home…”

“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.

“And again, it was just that fear of not having a family again. That after everything I did to build a happy home life for myself, I’d still end up…alone.” He disclosed. After a few seconds of quiet he cleared his throat. “Sorry, that was a lot.”

“Don’t be. I was just…processing, empathizing…” you said and he hummed, “If anything, I’d like you to say all of this to me as it comes. You’re always here for me. I want to be here for you too.”

“I want to tell you more but I don’t want to put more on your plate.” He explained.

“I appreciate that but I am feeling better…mentally.”

“Yeah? Since when?”

“Since…you.” You said and Harry smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Honest. It’s nice to have a friend and someone to care for with reciprocity.” 

“It is. And for the record, I know that you’ll always be in my life. But a part of me is also scared that we won’t be able to have more down the line. Like, what if that gets ruined?”

“So my same fear?” You asked and he hummed.

“Guess so.” He confirmed.

“Well, there’ll always be space for you in my life. I mean that. I feel good when I’m with you and I can only imagine that it’ll only get better if we…are more.” You said timidly.

“I think so too.” Harry hummed and you smiled. “I understand that we both have things to heal from though and that it might take some time to get anywhere near where we might want to get eventually…” he trailed off and chuckled, “I don’t know if maybe I’m getting ahead of myself but I really like you and I like that I can fully be myself around you.” He explained.

You could feel your heart pounding so hard at what he was saying. You could feeling a warmth growing inside of you and spreading all throughout your body. This crush you had on him had you so affected. To hear him saying this was more of a relief than a cause for anxiety. You hadn’t allowed yourself to think that far out of fear that maybe it was intense for now but would fizzle out at some point down the line. But to hear him say that he wanted to give you two an honest shot when things got better, it made you feel a little less delusional. You loved his vulnerability with you. You could also be yourself around him in a way that was so pure. You knew he wouldn’t judge or make you feel bad for it. There was a baseline safety with him that helped your closeness grow quickly. 

“Ummm…sorry. D-did I lose you?” He asked nervously and you shook your head quickly. 

“Oh my god, no sorry! I was just…so happy to hear you say that.” You giggled.

“Thank god…” he chuckled in relief.

“So sorry.” You laughed through an apology again and he joined you as well. 

“Ummm…a-are you far from Santa Barbara?” He asked and you bit your lip.

“Like…almost 30 minutes?”

“Hmmm…do you work tomorrow?” 

“I actually don’t…” you shared.

“Can I come see you?” He asked.

“Now?”

“Yeah!” He chuckled, “If you don’t mind the company, it’s gonna be a long weekend. I won’t have class until next Wednesday.”

“You want to spend a whole ass week with me?”

“Yeah. If you’ll have me.” He hummed.

“What about Julie? I don’t want to instigate any bigger issues.”

“She hasn’t really been staying at the house since she returned from her weekend getaway.” Harry shared, “So…I think she’ll be fine.”

“Well then, I’d love to have you over.” You confirmed happily.

“Great! I’m just getting home so I’m gonna get showered, pack, and head over to you.”

“Perfect! See you soon!” You chirped, not even bothering to minimize your excitement. 

“Alright, I’ll be seeing you soon.” Harry chuckled.

 ***********

It was nearing 8pm when Harry was calling to tell you he was outside of your building. You hurried down with your visitor’s badge to ensure his car was safe while parked there and soon enough you were heading back up to the warmth of your apartment.

“Have you eaten?” You asked him as he followed you in.

“Not yet. Do you want to order in?” 

“We can but I’m not too hungry to be honest.” You explained.

“Has that been constant lately?” He asked as he set his luggage against your couch and his tote down on the couch.

“No, it’s actually been better. But I’m just…coming off my anxious wave after I ambushed Julie. I feel like it was alright but maybe I’ve made things worse.” You explained your concern as he came up to you and grabbed your hands.

“I get the anxiety but I must say that I’m proud of you for making an effort. And well, you know your sister, and whatever she does with what you said is out of your hands now, love. So try not to be too worried about it.” He advised you and you exhaled and nodded. “I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but you’ve said what you needed to and done your part, yeah?” He asked you and you nodded. “That’s all there is to it.” He said with an encouraging smile.

“I know…” you sighed and glanced down as his hands ran up your arms and rubbed over your shoulders soothingly a few times.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You asked as you turned your gaze back to him.

“I’m really proud of you for doing that. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

“Thank you.” You whispered happily.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked next and you smirked a bit.

“Of course.” You hummed as one of his hands grabbed your chin gently and angled you up, “Kiss me whenever you want.” You said softly and he smiled.

“I don’t think you know what you’re unleashing…” he responded and you giggled.

“Show me then.” You smirked and he leaned in the rest of the way until your lips were meeting.

You loved to kiss Harry and thought of it often when you’d get lost in your day dreams. The shape of his lips fit so nicely against yours. The pressure of them pressing to your own, the eagerness and need that you could feel flooding the atmosphere between the two of you was addicting. If only he knew how much you were affected by this. Your mouth parted easily to let him in as his tongue swiped against your bottom lip. He moaned in relief in perfect unison with you when his tongue smoothed against yours. He had been longing for your taste as much as you had been longing for his. You grabbed his hands and guided them around your waist and he was quick to hug around you, pulling you even closer to his body as your kiss deepened. It was so easy to get lost in the moment with Harry. You were not sitting on your counter with him standing between your legs as you made out. His hands were up your shirt and yours were feeling over his biceps. You hadn’t ever been with someone as muscular as he was. He didn’t even have to flex for you to feel how strong and built he was. 

You were suddenly startled apart by your phone ringing loudly across the counter indicating that it was time for you to begin your “no screen” time. It was easy to find yourself doom scrolling, especially when you struggled to sleep, so you’d made the resolution to cut down your screen time starting at 8pm each night.

“Can you grab it for me?” You asked Harry, your lips smearing into his as you asked your question and he nodded.

“Sure.” He responded and slid his hands from beneath your shirt and walked around the counter to grab your phone before bringing it back to you.

“Sorry, I’m trying to stop using my phone by 8pm each night.” You explained as you stopped the alarm and proceeded to turn on “Do Not Disturb” mode for the night.

“Smart!” He said as his hands landed on your thighs.

“It’s hard but research says cutting off screen time before bed helps.”

“Well, that’s true.” He assured you and you smiled. “And it’s 8 already? I should order something in.” He said before stuffing his hand down his back pocket and pulling out his phone. “Are you hungry now?” He asked you with a smirk.

“Yeah, more now.” You chuckled.

“Hungry for anything in particular?”

“Tacos?” You suggested.

“Ooh, perfect! What’s good in your area?” He asked and soon you had selected a little mom and pop, hole in the way a couple miles away that had never failed you before. 

After placing the order you suggested Harry get into something more comfortable and then get settled in.

“Sorry, I don’t have any space for your toiletries.” You mumbled, “But you’re more than welcome to put your clothes in a drawer! The one of the top right should be empty.” 

“It’s fine. As long as you don’t mind the bag staying up here. If not I’ll just keep it in my soot case.” He said with the Baron Trump meme accent. You looked to him and burst into laughter at this.

“I’m dead! I love that video!” You cackled.

“It’s funny!” He laughed along, “One of my students showed it to me…s’been stuck in my head ever since.” He explained with a smile.

“It is a gem…well, I don’t mind you having your things out for easier access!” You assured him.

“I’m tidy. I promise.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes playfully. “Tell me what your pet peeves are in a shared space, so that I can avoid them.” Harry requested.

“Ummm…just don’t be gross. Ash used to do this ridiculous thing where he’d leave his dirty laundry beside the hamper…” You recalled and Harry chuckled, “That pissed me off. Like it’s right there!” You expressed.

“Yeah, that’s stupid.” He chuckled.

“Or leave his towel on the ground, like he was in a fucking hotel.”

“Oh god…” Harry grimaced, “The smell…”

“Yeah! Mildewy and ugh…thinking of it is giving me the ick.” You frowned. “One time he did not unpack it from the gym and-”

“I know where it’s going, you don’t need to tell me.” He said and you giggled.

“I discovered it, so I have to tell you.”

“Fine. Go on.”

“It grew mold. The whole bag! And who discovered it in the garage?”

“Not Ash!”

“Exactly! And it was so humid that week…God, that was horrifying. Then he had the gall to be pissed at me for throwing away his Alo gym bag…ridiculous.” You huffed.

“If he cared so much about it why did he leave it in that state? What a prick.” He said and you nodded in agreement.

“Exactly what I said…he probably left it in his trunk, encountered the smell and just left it in the garage for me to find and wash.” you rolled your eyes. “And like, he wasn’t like nasty apart from those things. Like, you could tell his mom would do those things for him and his brothers.” You explained and he nodded. “What about you?” You asked.

“Ummm… well growing up my house was very neat until my mom met that prick of a man and then it was pretty unkept. I did a lot of the cleaning up so uh…I guess just clutter and dishes in the sink. That invites ants and cockroaches, which I detest. And well, one time I was going to treat myself to some biscuits and was met with a mouse in the packet so uh… yeah, I’m a little bit of a clean freak.” He explained. You could see that when he talked about these things he got a distant look in his eyes. Like he had to remind himself that, that wasn’t his life anymore. “Also, no eating in bed.” He added, “Because that is literally inviting bugs.” He explained and you nodded.

“Noted. Though I must admit, I have eaten in bed…specially when I’ve gotten sick and no one’s around to look after me.”

“Well you’ve got me now so…no need for that.” He said and you smiled.

“Yeah.” You hummed. “But being in the valley, there are just critters around so it is important to keep things extra clean. I haven’t had any encounters, thankfully! I’m very averse to them.” You explained.

“Yeah, they’re gross.” He agreed.

“Anything else?” You asked.

“Oh! Getting on the bed in outside clothes.”

“Okay, yes!” You agreed, “There are “safe” spaces for me though, I don’t know about you? But like if I visit my parents or friends that don’t have pets, I wouldn’t mind a quick sit on my bed, not gonna roll around in it either…” you said and he chuckled, “But that’s not as gross as if I had gone out to a restaurant or the movies, for example.”

“Well, wouldn’t your car seats have all the germs from everywhere else? So when you sit in the car that gets on your clothes, even if you were in a safe space…” you pouted after he explained.

“Oh god…we could be laying in filth right now…” you said with feigned concern.

“When did you last wash your comforter?” He asked, you knew he was trying to come off pretend-horrified but his eyes said otherwise.

“I’m messing with you! Literally over the weekend. I promise!” You laughed as he looked at you skeptically.

“Pinky promise?”

“Yeah!” You said as you extended your pinky out to him and he wrapped his around yours.

“If I get pink eye, we know what happened here.” He joked and you rolled your eyes at his dramatics as he sniggered. He then interlaced his fingers with yours and just held your hand in his. You could see that there was a lot going on in his mind and you wanted to help however you could.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” You asked him tentatively.

“Tons! But ummm…time and place.” He said as he glanced down at your hands. You squeezed his hand and he glanced up at you.

“Tell me.” You insisted and he sighed.

“Just that…when your sister leaves, for good, I was thinking about how long I’d have to be alone in that house. Like…I saved up a lot for that with the hopes of having a life and a family there, you know?” You nodded in understanding. “I don’t know if I could be there as comfortably if I were alone. I’d hate to sell it but…what would be the point in keeping it?” He asked and you hummed. “And you really don’t have to say anything about it, I just…am a little nervous to be all alone again. And like, I know that I wouldn’t be totally alone, but in a way I haven’t been in a decade you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.

“Like things would be missing that have been there since we moved in together…half of the things would be gone…and well, I couldn’t very well ask or expect you to be able to visit as often as I’d probably like…” he added. 

“I get it. It’s scary.” You said and he nodded.

“How’d you do it?” He asked and you smiled.

“Well, I’m in the middle of that and well, I am depressed!” You chuckled and he smiled, “So…still learning how to cope, I guess. This, with us? It’s helped. I don’t feel so alone anymore.” You explained.

“Good.” He hummed. 

“Yeah, so if you… need me to go out there and hang out you can ask. Whatever the reason in your brain is that’s holding you back from asking me for reciprocity? It’s wrong. If being there and enjoying the home you worked so hard for is important to you, then it’s important to me too.” You assured him with a sincerity that he hadn’t seen from anyone in years and you saw his lips turn up a bit.

Harry just felt this sudden rush of warmth overcome him. He definitely wanted you over more, he just felt a little bad about it right now while things were still up in the air. He wanted to live there forever, he hadn’t committed to buying a home thinking that he would one day grow sick of it. It was heaven on earth to him. He could step out onto his balcony and see the ocean from it! Of course he had made compromises along the way to accommodate Julie like in decor, in paints, upgrades…but he still loved the house. And to know that you’d be willing to make the drive out and spend time with him there simply because he loved it and was comfortable there, well, that was almost more than he could ever ask for. So he was really glad that you had offered it.

“I’d actually really like that.” He finally said and you smiled.

“Okay. Then we’ll make it happen.” You assured him and he smiled and let go of your hand but only because he was pressing himself up to kiss you again. And as your new normal seemed to be, you got lost in it until the delivery person’s call was interrupting you.

You had initially been concerned that maybe you’d pushed him too far or said too much but by the way he was acting now, it seems you had said the correct thing. Harry was a protector, he always had been that way. He was very concerned for your sister, for you, your family… it was never in a way that made you feel incapable, but he just liked to show you all that he would take care of you all if shit hit the fan. You knew that it had been hard for him not to be able to do that for you in the last year, even when he was going through his own stuff. So now, you wanted to allow him to make up for lost time and as you had said, you wanted to reciprocate the way he made you feel and were glad that he felt like you were.

“M’afraid you’re not gonna get a turn, love…” Harry practically slurred with his cheek smushed up against your stomach. You were currently laid on the couch, longways of course, and had put on “Miss Congeniality”. But you had agreed to give each other massages. However, Harry had elected for you to massage his head and it was putting him to sleep.

You giggled, but kept on going. “S’alright.” You responded softly. You could feel him growing heavier against you. “Maybe we should move to the bed though. Don’t want you to have a rough night.” You explained.

“In a minute.” He mumbled.

“Okay.” You agreed. 

Soon enough you’d made it to your bed and as soon as you got under the covers he was reaching for you and pulling you against him. You smiled as you snuggled in against him. You felt him kiss your shoulder before he exhaled and you knew it would be so easy to fall asleep tonight.

*************

When you woke up the next morning it wasn’t because of your alarm, it was just a force of habit. But you were shivering from the cold and were pleased that it was apparently raining. You could heard the soft patter against your bedroom window. And then, you heard Harry humming along to John Mayer just a few feet away in the kitchen. Despite wanting to stay tucked away in the warmth of your bed, you got up and hurried into the bathroom to relieve yourself and freshen up a little bit. When you emerged, Harry was back in bed, topless and smiling at you.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.” You smiled.

“You were snoring.”

“I was not…” you mumbled bashfully as you headed back over to the bed.

“You were! But not like, loud or scary, it was just soft.” He described with a grin. “It was cute! Like a cartoon.” He assured you and you rolled your eyes as you got back in bed. “I just put on some coffee.”

“Thanks.” You hummed as you turned on your side to face him.

“Course.”

“Now, c’mere, please. It’s cold.” You requested and he smiled and hurried over into your side. 

“What do you wanna do today?” He asked.

“Be lazy.” You said and he chuckled. “I do have a client to cook for tomorrow, s’just dinner prep, so I should be back around 6-6:30 the latest.” 

“Would you be up to doing something after?” He asked.

“Yeah!” You hummed.

“Something lowkey, yeah?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You confirmed.

“Perfect. Now, I’m gonna kiss you.” He mumbled.

He moved closer and leaned in until your lips were meeting slowly but still eager and saturated with passion. Your hand landed on his chest and slid over his shoulder, tugging him into you, inviting him to settle over you. Your legs tangled momentarily as he started to straddle you. He was holding your jaw as your kiss deepened even further. His hands were sliding up your body, dragging your top up as he went. You sat up to help him pull it off and as soon as he was able, he was back on you, his lips littering your chest in kisses and delicate but playful nicks to your breasts. Your fingers combed through his hair, relishing in the sensations he was giving you. You were absolutely desperate for him and your skin was tingling, you were desperate to feel the warmth of his hands over your arms. You wanted to kiss him again and so you tried to tug him up and he quickly got the hint and kissed up your chest, neck, and jaw before kissing you sloppily. You ground up against him to feel the bulge in his thin pajama pants against you. He grinned and ground down against you with more intent. 

“Is that what you want?” He asked and you blinked up at him.

“More.” You whispered and his gaze softened.

“You sure?” He asked you and you nodded.

“Yes. Please.” You beseeched and Harry smiled before kissing you once more. In moments, he was helping you undress. You were both moving impatiently and albeit a little clumsily, but you were absolutely desperate for each other. And as his naked body hovered over yours you finally felt a little bit better. Relieved. “Please get inside me.”

“Okay.” He hummed and kissed your lips once more, “Didn’t think to bring condoms. D-do you have some?” He asked and you huffed.

“No.” You muttered in slight irritation. You hadn’t planned to ask him to have sex with you, if you had, you would have stocked up, just in case.

“Would you care if we didn’t use one?” He asked and you bit your lip pensively. “Obviously, we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it. And well, I can go buy some really quick and give you some time t-to really think about if you really want to do this. You know, in case you maybe have s-some doubt?” He asked.

“I don’t have any doubts.” You assured him with a smile, “D-do you?” You asked and he shook his head, his little smirk mirroring your own. 

“No. I can go get the condoms.” He said again and you bit your lip for a second.

“Ummm…that’s alright.” You assured him and as happy as he was to hear you say that, he gave it a few seconds to let you change your mind.

“Sure?” He asked again and you nodded.

“I’m so fucking sure.” You whispered through a nervous chuckle and he smiled and kissed you again.

“I’ll be mindful to pull out, okay?” He mumbled into your lips.

“Yeah.” You agreed as you raised your leg over his hips to give him space to get inside of you. You could feel the heat and weight of his cock pressed up against you. “I want you so bad.” You whispered.

“I do too, baby.” He hummed as he ground down, letting his cock settle between the sticky and swollen folds of your pussy. You shivered when his tip kissed at your clit with his soft thrusts. “Right there?” He asked and you nodded frantically.

“Yeah, that feels good.” You confirmed breathily and he smiled as his eyes bore into yours.

“Go on then, get what you need.” He hummed lowly and you wasted no time in grinding along with him at your desired pace. You whined lowly as you started to feel the pleasure escalating from the friction. Just when you were getting close you stopped yourself.

“Want to stop?” He asked you, looking into your eyes to ensure everything was okay.

“No, but I don’t want to come like that.” You explained a bit bashfully. 

“Oh…I see.” He hummed with a smirk on his face that made you blush. “Get me inside then.” You smiled and reached down between your bodies. You grabbed a hold of his cock, he was so fucking hard. You raised your hips a bit as you guided him down to your entrance and when you felt that slight dip you rubbed him over your slit a few times. Your eyes flickered up to his only to see his brows furrowed together at the feeling of being just on the edge of slipping inside of you.

“Do it.” You whispered and he let his weight drop down to his hips and just like that he was being swallowed up by your hot and wet muscle. The two of you moaned in unison when he sunk in all the way and collided with your back wall. He held inside for a few second before groaning as he drew back and sunk in again. You exhaled shakily and grabbed his face to kiss him deeply. “Harder.” You said and he nodded before fucking into you with more force and that was absolutely what you were after. You moaned in relief and he kissed you deeply again.

“Good?” He asked.

“Yeah, it feels so good!” You whined and he hummed in satisfaction.

You were already so close, but you wanted to be closer, as close as was physically possible. You wanted to feel overwhelmed by him in the best way possible. And when he delivered his next thrust harder than before you couldn’t help the moan that fell from your mouth. Harry groaned and went again and again, relishing in the satisfied, little grunts you were making. You were absolutely drenching his cock but you couldn’t help it because he was thrusting up against the most sensational spot inside of you. It was almost too deep for you but you welcomed the feeling, you wanted to feel the ache after he was gone in a few days. And it’s almost like he could read your mind as he thrust in and held himself inside of you, grinding into you, watching as your eyes squeezed shut and you shuddered at the sensation of him fucking you that deep.

“Fuck y’feel so good!” You whimpered as you squeezed your legs around his hips and he grinned as he watched your brows pinching together.

“Not as good as you feel, baby.” He hummed lowly, “So fucking wet and hot…” he grumbled, “Shit…gonna need you so fucking badly. All the time. Gonna be dreaming of how nice it feels.” He muttered against the column of your throat. 

You were completely covered in goosebumps, you were trying to stop your legs from trembling but you wouldn’t be able to hold that off for much longer. It just felt too fucking good…he was hitting a part inside of you that even had your clit tingling, if you rubbed on it, it would truly be too much. As badly as you wanted and needed to come, you wanted him to keep fucking you. For him to be your first fuck after all this time, it was well worth it. You could hear the wet squelches of your arousal slicking up his cock and helping him fit inside of you. His girth and length were to die for and absolutely addictive.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come!” you warned him and he grinned down at you, very pleased with himself for how fucked out he had you already.

“Already?” He gloated slightly and you smiled and nodded. Your vision was even blurry at this point as tears of ecstasy and joy welled up in your eyes. “You’re already so fucking gone f’me, S’gonna wipe you out.” He said smugly and you hummed with a slight smile.

He was right, this orgasm would absolutely ruin you and melt your brain. He was literally fucking you better, quite literally forcing your brain to flood your body with that deliciously and slightly terrifying cocktail of oxytocin and dopamine. You swore your skin was tingling, every single cell in your body was going to contribute to this orgasm. But the longer you held off the more intense everything felt. Your walls were throbbing uncontrollably and you were trying so hard to just hold off for a second to make it last longer but it made it worse, as you squeezed the deep plunges of his cock became even more pleasurable and your legs started to tremble and your breathing to shallow.

“Come on, baby. Give it t’me.” He encouraged you and you nodded before pulling him down to kiss you and as your lips met urgently in a messy kiss you started to come. You emitted these pathetic whines and whimpers you’d never ever made before as the ecstasy took over every single part of your body. You were trying not too make too much noise but you were on fire and it had never felt like that before, it was almost too much! Harry’s lips parted from yours so that you could breathe and properly release your sounds as your hips ground up into his to keep the pleasure going. One of your hands pressed down on his butt, holding him close to you and the other was tangled in the curls at the back of his head. He groaned as you squeezed hard around his cock. Your tight, hot muscles were suffocating and contracting around his girth, he nearly fucking drooled from how delicious it felt to be buried in you like this. “M’gonna come.” He panted.

“Come inside of me.” You slurred and he moaned at the mere idea of getting to flood your hot, little pussy with his sperm. He got goosebumps as he thought about how good it would feel to have you take it all. To pull out and see it dripping from your swollen and wrecked little hole only for him to push his cock back into you and get his load back into you. “Please, come in my pussy.” 

“Fuck, baby…” he chuckled as he pressed his forehead to yours, “I’m gonna come so hard.” He panted, “Gonna drown your little pussy.” He mumbled as his abs started to clench and his toes to curl. And moments later he was grunting through three hard and pointed thrusts before stilling. He pressed right up against you and moaned deeply in satisfaction as he came undone. He felt his muscles spasming, struggling to hold his weight as he started to gush inside of you. You could feel the dramatic twitches of his cock lodged up deep inside of you as he filled you up, just as he promised and it was so good, his hips were moving by his own accord at this point and he was enslaved to the feeling of being inside of you, no matter how sensitive it was starting to feel for him. “Fuck…” he panted lowly. 

You could feel his arms trembling and just hugged him tight, encouraging him to drop his weight over you and he did easily. Your fingers danced and tickled over the heated and slightly damp skin of his back as he came down from it. You were finding comfort in his deep inhales as he continued trying to catch his breath. After a few more moments of this he was still completely silent. You knew there was nothing wrong because he was practically melted against your body, and you smiled and kissed the top of his head as he started to sponged a few sloppy kisses along your jaw. With the little strength he had built up again, he pulled you both onto your sides. He slipped from you with the change in position but you draped your leg over his hip and his hand immediately ran up your leg soothingly while he rested his head over his other arm. You were smiling as you just watched him, he still had his eyes closed as he regulated his breathing.

“You alright there?” You inquired, your voice was a whisper but he could hear the slight hint of smugness in it.

“Just a little light headed.” He chuckled his confession and you giggled and reached for his face. You caressed the side of his face lovingly with the backs of your fingers.

“Want me t’get you some water?” You asked.

“No, stay here with me.” He responded and you smiled.

“‘Kay.” You whispered. You just watched him for a few seconds until he slowly blinked his eyes open. You smiled as he squinted a bit.

“Jesus, I’m seeing spots.” He laughed lowly through his admission and you started to giggle along with him. “Don’t laugh at me.” He griped and you leaned forward and smooched over his pouted lips.

“M’not. I’m laughing with you.” You mumbled against his mouth and he quickly kissed your lips back.

“Sure…” he hummed and finally opened his eyes and met your adoring gaze.

“We’re going again later, right?” You asked and he laughed for a moment before kissing you again and nodding.

“Oh absolutely. I might not be able to walk but it’ll be worth it.” He mumbled into your kiss-swollen lips.

“God…but good.” You giggled, completely satisfied with his response.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.” He whispered and you glanced away bashfully and instead focused on the swallow tattooed over his left pectoral.

“Neither do I.” You admitted and he smiled as you leaned closer and buried your face into the crook of his neck and took a deep inhale before placing a kiss at the base of his throat. 

There was only one thought at the forefront of his mind right now and it was that there was absolutely no world in which this didn’t end with him falling absolutely and hopelessly in love with you. He loved everything about you and what he’d seen of your life so far, he couldn’t wait to experience it for the rest of the days he’d be here with you.

Several Days Later…

You didn’t want to verbalize just how perfect the last several days had been with Harry in case you were to jinx it, but you were certainly thinking about it with each passing minute. You had clients that day so you had to leave Harry at your place for but it was  so lovely to return to a clean home and a meal. As soon as you walked in you could smell the lingering fresh scent of cleaning products but were mostly overpowered by what you were kind of hoping was a bolognese sauce. Thankfully, you were able to make off from your last client with a little extra dessert, so you had something to contribute for tonight.

“Smell’s amazing!” You announced your arrival as you slipped out of your shoes. 

Harry didn’t respond so you figured he was in the shower or something. And as you walked further in you saw that the table was set and two long stick candles were lit, giving the setting a more intimate feel. You bit your lip to hold back your excitement. It was your last night together, so you weren’t surprised that Harry was pulling out all the stops until the next time you got to be together. You headed towards your bedroom to change into a fresh and more comfortable outfit and when you stepped inside you saw Harry just standing at the window and glancing out towards the busy street below.

“Harry?” You called in question and he sniffled and turned around. 

“Sorry, I was trying to collect myself-”

“What happened? What’s wrong?” You asked quickly as you let your purse drop to the floor and rushed over to him.

“Your mom called,” he said and you immediately though the worst, your heart dropped, “Julie told them that she’s pregnant.” He said and you stopped right before you reached him. Not as terrifying as you thought but still incredibly fucking awful. Your features furrowed in disappointment and your stomach turned as the information processed. Harry hurried over to you, “Baby, it’s not me. It couldn’t be, we haven’t slept together since like August!” He explained and you nodded and let him take your hands. “But they don’t know that.”

“Ask for a paternity test.” You said right away.

“I will.” He assured you. “I guess she said she wasn’t feeling well so your mom drove her to the urgent care and they found out. Your mom called me all excited about it… I just don’t want to humiliate her.” He explained.

“And that’s very noble and considerate of you, Harry. But you do realize that she’s trying to put you in an impossible position.” You said and he frowned. “You deserve to do this. To have a family on your own terms. With someone who loves you. This isn’t on you, Harry. You know why she asked mom to go with her.” You said and he nodded.

“I-I don’t even know what to do about this.” He stammered, still in shock.

“This is going to sound awful but…tell your lawyer.” You said and he sighed. “She’s willing to force you into this situation when you had nothing to do with it. If she has to prove paternity she will have to be honest. She loves Joey and she did this with him, they need to figure this out together.”

“You’re right.” He conceded. “Ummm… I’m not feeling too hungry any more. I’m sorry.” He said and glanced down at the floor.

“That’s alright. I understand.” You assured him. “I also understand if you…need some space.” You said and he glanced into your eyes again.

“Yeah… I ummm…I should go.” He said and you nodded, “They’re expecting me to look after her since she isn’t feeling well. And the drive’ll help, I think.” He muttered, but he was quite absent.

“Okay.” You said softly and he just walked around you and into your closet to grab his suitcase. You just watched silently as he robotically and haphazardly just dumped his things into the luggage before shutting it and wheeling it out. You followed after him as he headed to the entrance and slipped into his sneakers. 

“Harry.” You said and he glanced up at you. You could see his eyes welled up with tears. “Please be safe.” You said and he nodded before rushing out. As soon as the door shut your own tears started to trickle down your face. 

You were relieved when he texted you that he’d gotten home and assured him that if he needed to talk at all that you’d be there for him. But you felt so angry at your sister for this one. How could she do this to him? It was awful and selfish behavior. You wanted to call her but this wasn’t your battle to fight.

Harry’s POV:

Harry felt completely blindsided by Isabel’s phone call about Julie. He felt sick to his stomach as he parked in the garage because Isabel was still at their house, her car was up front and he had no idea how he would swallow down all that devastation and dread he was feeling. He didn’t want to ruin Isabel’s excitement but pretending that he was happy about this…having to hold and kiss Julie, congratulate her for something he had nothing to do with, it made him sick to his stomach. He texted you to let you know that he’d made it safely and you immediately loved his message and with that he made it inside. 

“Oh good! You’re home!” Isabel greeted him excitedly as soon as Harry made it inside from the garage. He put on a smile and nodded, approaching her to greet her. 

“Yeah, sorry it took me a while. I was out in LA.” He explained.

“No problem, as long as you made it safe!” She said as she opened her arms and he ducked down a bit to hug her and kiss her cheek. “Congrats, mijo.” She hummed happily as she gave him a firm squeeze.

“Thank you.” He responded as they pulled away slowly.

“I’m just making her some ginger tea, she’s been very nauseous.” Isabel explained.

“Thank you, I’m gonna go see her now.”

“Yes, please!” She insisted, beaming from ear to ear and he smiled and made his way out of the kitchen. 

Every step he took up towards the bedroom made him even more sick to his stomach. He hoped there was extra of that ginger tea because this was getting to be too much. When he made it to the top landing he saw the bedroom door open and he made his way over to see Julie scrolling through her phone. 

“Hey.” She greeted him solemnly.

“Hi.” He said quite cooly.

“Look-”

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He cut her off and she frowned.

“Not while my mom is here, Harry.” She sighed.

“No. We’re doing this right now.” He insisted as he pushed the door back leaving it slightly ajar.

“Then close it all the way.” She said.

“Then we won’t hear her coming. I won’t raise my voice if you don’t.” He said and she sighed. “There is no way you didn’t know.” He insisted, “When did you find out?” 

“On Monday.” She said, “I missed my period last week and I took two tests on Monday. One positive and the other inconclusive. Sometimes it can be stress or other things that impact so I figured I should go and find out.”

“And you had to take your mom to do that?”

“I was scared!” She defended herself.

“Then you should’ve asked Joe.” He retorted.

“I didn’t want him to freak out!”

“But you’re okay with your mom thinking that I got you pregnant?!” He asked angrily and her eyes started welling up. “You have to tell your parents now, Julie.” He said.

“Harry, please-”

“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!”

“And what if he leaves me?” She asked and Harry’s eyes softened for a moment.

“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!” He was trying not to raise his voice but he was so hurt and angry at her. “You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry finished and she started to sniffle as her tears fell. “You have to tell your family the truth!” He urged.

“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?”

“If you had agreed to the divorce when I brought it up not as much as it might be now! If you don’t come clean to your parents about this I will involve my lawyer and demand a paternity test! And we both know what the result will be.”

“I need more time.” She said softly.

“You have until the end of the month.”

“Harry-”

“You tell them or I do.” He said sternly.

Isabel’s POV:

She hadn’t meant to eaves drop, she just wanted to come ask Julie if she would want some toast with her tea to settle her stomach when she heard the hushed argument.

“Harry, please-”

“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!” She heard Harry respond. She almost intervened when she heard this, feeling so much anger rising up in her at the sound of her son-in-law being so disinterested and cold after finding out he would be a father!

“And what if he leaves me?” Julie asked and she stopped from reaching for the door. She was momentarily frozen in shock as she processed Julie’s concern.

“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!”

Isabel could hear it in his voice that he felt bad but if this was not his child, he truly had no obligation to her. Especially if she had been having an affair for who knows how long.

“You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry added. “You have to tell your family the truth!” 

“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?” Julie cried quietly and Isabel frowned and started to back away, hearing faintly about previous discussions of a divorce. This was very private and she had heard more than she probably should have. 

She was completely taken by surprise and immediately felt so bad for Harry and the situation that she had unintentionally put him in. She could only imagine how devastated he felt knowing that his wife was pregnant with another man’s child. A man that might not even stick around to help her or support her with this. Obviously she would always love her daughter, but it didn’t mean that she would always support her choices and this choice…to have an extramarital affair. To not grant Harry the divorce he had seemingly asked for before when she didn’t even love him anymore. The gall to ask him to stick around if the other man didn’t… it did not sit well with her and made her feel so frustrated at her. She hoped that Julie would say something soon because there was no way she could keep quiet for too long. Harry had been so good to all of them and he did not deserve that.

FINAL PART...

---- TAG LIST ----

@harrystyleshotwife @daphnesutton  @mads3502  @triski73 @xoxxjada  @fangirl509east  @stylesftcher  @charlottesrecommendations  @taintedwonderland-blog @goobernickle @loverofhsandallthings1d @toasterstreudelsworld @sassamanda77 @behindmygreyeyes

[lovingseventeen]

svt being green flags early into dating

a/n: dating boys who aren’t seventeen? i don’t recommend KIDDING but it’s tough out here. ngl i wrote this in one dash bc i’ve had it with boys

- picture these hcs as the talking stage/unofficial dating era but you guys are interested in each other

seungcheol:

❥ saw a quote recently that described a man as “alpha male energy without being an incel” and i think this pertains to cheol too

❥ never let’s you pay, picks you up in his car for your dates so you don’t have to commute anywhere and to ensure you get home safe

jeonghan:

❥ teases you but never crosses a boundary

❥ makes clever jokes but they’re never the kind of “dark humor” that’s just disguised as something problematic

joshua:

❥ he’s a prince, a walking green flag even

❥ hence the princess treatment that you tend to get

❥ always offers his hand to you when you walk on anything that could be precarious

jun:

❥ he’s a little silly but he’s very aware of when is a good time

❥ knows exactly how to cheer you up depending on the situation

❥ maybe you get funny voice jun or an attentive jun gently holding your hand and asking what he could do to help

soonyoung:

❥ consistent energy towards you

❥ you see him bounding towards your date meeting spot with the biggest grin on his face - the same genuine grin as the one on your first date

wonwoo:

❥ the best listener and he’s good at following up with you so you know he cares

❥“oh yeah how did your test go? the one you kept staying up for”

❥“did you end up talking to your boss about your hours?”

❥“did you end up getting the tickets for the concert you wanted?”

jihoon:

❥ his schedule may be busy but he does try to make time for you and he communicates when he can’t

❥“i’m a little tight this week but i moved some things around so i’m free saturday night, do you want to get dinner?”

❥“our day off is coming up, are you also free that day? i was thinking spending a day at home together?”

❥ he’s a little extra sappy when he can’t free up time

❥“we’re doing our dome shows this week, i’m so sorry i can’t see you, darling”

seokmin:

❥ also has very good, enthusiastic, energy towards you

❥ loves to text you consistently without being overbearing either

❥ good mornings and good nights are precious to him

❥ tells you unsolicited updates about his day and hopes you’ll do the same

❥ i stubbed my toe - remember to be careful sometimes!

mingyu:

❥ what can i say- he never lets you do anything in the sense that he doesn’t ever want you to feel the need to lift a finger around him

❥ your steak? do you want him to cut it for you?

❥ you need to build your new bookshelf? no you don’t, he’ll do it

minghao:

❥ so casually a gentleman

❥ tends to guide you by the small of your back when you walk together (he’s also always walking on the side closest to the road)

❥ it’s kind of a nice little reminder he’s there

seungkwan:

❥ he always brings an extra something in case you need it on your dates

❥ if it’s chilly outside and you’re talking a stroll around the park, he’ll an extra pair of gloves for you or an extra scarf

❥ or if you’re doing an active date, like trying volleyball maybe, he’ll bring an extra pair of kneepads for you

vernon:

❥ maybe he’s not the best with words but he’ll always send you little recommendations

❥ whether it’s a movie, a song, or a video, it’s his way of telling you “this reminded me of you”

❥ even in most casual instances, he’s thinking about you

chan:

❥ always takes care of planning dates

❥ while of course he wouldn’t stop you from planning a date, he also really enjoys thinking of where to go and what to do so he can just show you a good time :)

[yurioyuratchka]

Hello can I request a Lawliet x reader

a girl detective who has grown up with him and watari but she stopped responding to the messages and attempts to communicate with him

Light Yagami

please

IN MY SOLITUDE.

l. lawliet x fem!reader

ꨄ︎ this isnt going to be very long, the 2nd part will be WAY longer im just trying to get atleast a bit of this out to show

ꨄ︎ content : fluff (?)

ꨄ︎ summary : fem!reader ignores Lawliets advances to try and contact her and eventually he gives up on trying. She later regrets this and makes an attempt to reach him and he lets her help on the kira investigation and eventually they make up.

ꨄ︎ side-note : im gonna be doing this in two parts because its a longer story >0<

ꨄ︎ wordcount : only 589 :3

"Watari, have you heard from her?" L asked, his voice laced of curiosity and concern as he sat cross-legged on the couch, a half-eaten plate of cake balancing precariously on his knee.

Watari, his eyes never leaving the multitude of screens in front of him, replied with a curt, "No, she hasn't been responding to my messages either." He says releasing a deep sigh.

The room was filled with a heavy silence that seemed to press against the walls. The once familiar chirping of birds outside had been replaced by the distant murmur of the city, a stark reminder of the passage of time. The warm, yellow light cast by the desk lamp threw deep shadows across L's face, highlighting the dark circles that had become a permanent fixture under his eyes. He took a bite of the apple, the crunch echoing in the quiet room.

"It's been months," L murmured, his gaze drifting to the silent phone on the coffee table. The female detective, someone he had known for so long, had suddenly gone quiet. They had shared countless cases, grown up together in the complex world of crime, and yet she had just disappeared from his life without a trace. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger at her sudden withdrawal, especially when he knew she had the skills and insight that could help him on the most critical case of his career, the Kira investigation.

Making a quick decision to contact the female, the dark haired male decided to send her one last email that could possibly change the situation and bring the two back together.

“Hello Y/N.

I would like to request that you meet me out for lunch at CAFEEL the coffee shop located in the underground section of Shinjuku Station in Tokyo tomorrow afternoon.

I have some very important things to discuss with you and I would greatly appreciate if you came alone.

Sincerely, L.”

y/n’s pov

My computer dinged, signaling i’ve received an email. I click over to the already opened tab to see one single email, I click it and soon im met with a breif email from L. Lawliet. My eyes darted back and fourth at the email, debating if I should write him a reply or just ignore it like have all the other emails.

I let out a shaky breath, contemplating my choices, I slide my mouse over to the bold ‘REPLY’ button at the end of the email I have received and I click on it. I quickly begin typing out my answer, feeling a light wave of sudden courage.

“ Dear L. Lawliet,

I hope this message finds you well. I sincerely apologize for not responding to your previous emails over the years; I appreciate your patience. I would be more than happy to meet you for lunch at CAFEEL tomorrow afternoon. It get how important this may be for our friendship and I understand the need for a private discussion. Please let me know what time works best for you, and I'll make sure to be there.”

I release a deep breath and start to stand up and stretch, releaving my body from being sat down in my old office chair for hours. I bend down a bit to close off my tabs and turn off my monitor for the night. I set the alarm on ny alarm clock for 9am to give myself time to get ready before I see my friend whom I havent contacted in years, finally heading to bed for a much needed rest.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? >^<

this def isnt the best i couldve done but im not unhappy with it >_< i will try to do a part two of this as soon as i can but ive been very busy recently so..

and i very much appreciate anyone who has sent me requests i promise im working on them

and please criticize this and let me know what you think . tips/advice are appreciated >_<

and @alyssa-dayne please feel free to let me know if this isnt what you meant in the request i will glady rewrite it for you >_<

[thewertsearch]

@manorinthewoods asked: Vriska and Eridan have now killed one person each. Tavros and Feferi's respective moons have been destroyed; as such, they cannot be revived via dream selves or the moon-crypt slabs. What do you think will happen now? ~LOSS (18/5/24) @manorinthewoods asked: Welcome to Murderstuck, aka Homestuck's version of Canaan House. Who do you think's going to survive this? ~LOSS (22/5/24) Anonymous asked: tavros and feferi are D----EAD! do you think they'll stay dead? you've already stated your opinion that there are death flags like crazy all over vriska, so do you think anyone else will die? if so, who? Anonymous asked: Now that the bodies have started to hit the floor, what's your prediction for who's gonna survive to meet the humans?

I'm actually doing to do something a little different this time, and analyze the situation primarily from an author's perspective, rather than an in-universe one. I had a lot of fun doing that with yesterday's Kanaya post, so I want to try it again.

Let's enumerate the remaining trolls, in ascending order of how likely I think they are to kick the bucket (😳) during Murderstuck.

There's no chance whatsoever that Sollux will die. His Doom prophecy is fulfilled, and if he were to die a third time, it would break his long-established duality theme. Plus, he'd have predicted it, and would have been complaining about it since Hivebent. He's fine.

Death flag score: 0/10.

We just got Aradia back. She's not even involved in Murderstuck, seemingly travelling to the Furthest Ring after being resurrected, so none of the murderers can touch her anyway.

Aradia is a powerful time manipulator who can freeze even the most dangerous enemies. It would take a lot more than Eridan and Gamzee to defeat someone who can stalemate Perfect Jack, and I predict that she'll survive the rest of the Act with ease.

Plus, killing her again so soon would feel really cheap. Been there, done that.

Death flag score = 0.5/10

Karkat and Terezi are too important to die.

This doesn't always guarantee a character's survival - A Song of Ice and Fire comes to mind - but ASOIAF kind of proves my point, doesn't it? Martin can throw all the Red Weddings he likes at us, but everyone still kind of knows that the really important characters aren't going to die until their arcs are complete. If A Dream of Spring ever actually comes out, Daenerys will still be around, and you can take that to the bank.

So no, I don't think Karkat and Terezi will be going anywhere. Now that Kanaya appears to be dead, they're undeniably the most important trolls remaining, alongside Vriska. And we'll get to Vriska.

Death flag score: 1/10.

I know it's weird to predict that an already deceased character won't die, but I wrote an entire post last night about why I believe this to be the case.

tl;dr: it doesn't make narrative sense for Kanaya to stay dead.

Death flag score: 2/10.

Now, we're onto the characters who I think might actually die.

Gamzee's still alive at the end of the countdown, so he'll at least survive the next couple of hours.

Certainly, his position seems rather precarious. His stated intent to wipe out the entire Veil will make him a lot of enemies very quickly - and based on the image above, he clearly gets into some sort of trouble. That scratch almost looks like it could be the work of Jack's sword.

However, I have a hard time believing the Most Important Character In Homestuck is going to die less than halfway through Homestuck. He's been saying all sorts of cryptic nonsense lately, and he strikes me as someone whose role in the story will expand even more than it already has. Gamzee is the one character on this list we know will stay relevant for the entire comic.

I don't think he's going to achieve his murder mission, of course. I think he'll probably be 'defeated' somehow, and expelled from the Veil by the surviving trolls, only to pop up again sometime later. There's still a chance that he'll be killed - but if he is, I'm 100% sure that he'll return in some form. Gamzeesprite would be even worse than Calsprite, in my opinion.

Death flag score: 3/10.

Yes, I still believe Vriska will die - but I don't know if she'll die in Murderstuck.

Scratch positioned her as someone who will perpetuate a monumental, large-scale mistake, and I don't think there's anything she could do on the Veil that fits the bill.

However, Vriska is more imaginative than I am. She could easily pull a trick out from up her sleeve that I didn't see coming - some terrible, horrible idea that earns all of Scratch's foreshadowing in one fell swoop. Vriska is known for her Incidents, and you never know when the next one is on the horizon.

Death flag score: 4/10.

There's not a lot tying Equius and Nepeta to the Veil, is there?

They don't have strong relationships any of the remaining trolls, and even among the B-team, they've barely had any prominence since we've left Alternia. Killing one or both of them would up the stakes of Murderstuck without introducing the narrative issues that, say, a dead Karkat would cause.

Plus, if one of them dies, then the other would immediately gain an incredibly strong motivation, and become a more prominent character overnight. I already like Nepeta - but a heartbroken, vengeful Nepeta hunting Eridan down across time and space? That's a fucking arc.

They could also both die, and return to the story from another direction. It hasn't escaped my notice that almost all the 'important' trolls are Prospit Dreamers, and the two Furthest Ring explorers are Derse girls. I've been wondering for a while now if the solution to the Veil's bloated cast is to split the trolls back into the Red and Blue Teams, with the Red Team joining the kids outside the session, and the Blue Team joining Aradia in the Ring for some secondary mission. I guess that implies Tavros will be resurrected, but there do seem to be hints that that might happen.

I don't want either of these two to die, but... well, killing them would raise a lot of interesting possibilities.

Death flag score (both of them together): 6/10

Death flag score (one of them) : 7.5/10.

Eridan is screwed.

Neither the story nor the trolls can allow him to ally with Jack and lead him to the Veil, and they'll do anything they can to stop him. I don't think anyone's inclined to show him mercy, either - Kanaya and Feferi were very popular.

I don't really see any way out for him. He has no allies, he can't Hopesplode everyone at once, and he's never shown himself to be particularly resourceful. I think if there's one troll practically guaranteed to be Murderstucked, it's him.

Death flag score: 9/10.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄: Blood Play w/ Sam Winchester (ft. Vampire!Reader)

a/n: OMG IT'S FINALLY HERE!! i can't tell you guys about how excited i've been to finally be able to work on kinktober — like you guys have no idea. anywhozers, here's day one, and i hope you guys enjoy!!

masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3

Sex between Sam and you has always been fun. 

With you being a vampire, you always had more stamina and a higher sex drive than the older - albeit younger seeing as you’re a whopping one hundred years older than him - man. 

There were always new things to try with your immortal abilities, but feeding off of Sam while you were going at it had never been a line you could bring yourself to cross. Sure, you’d thought about it once or twice, but that was only logical seeing as though you could hear each beat of his heart, the heated blood continually running through his veins; but you could never, you loved him too much to even fathom hurting him and drinking from him beyond repair. 

Until now… that is.

You’d been going at it for hours now, the amount of orgasms you had pulled from each other's body had been lost to the adrenaline fogging your thought process. You were currently riding him with such fervor that you could almost feel your own undead heart race.

“Fuck, Sam.” You sighed, head falling back as you gripped his shoulders painfully. He’d gotten used to the accidental slip of your restraint, the evidence of your super strength slipping through the cracks being the bruises that were most definitely going to be there tomorrow. He bounced you on his cock repeatedly, your ass meeting his lap in loud slaps that resounded lewdly throughout your shared bedroom. 

You could feel him nearing his own climax, the occasional thrusting up of his hips being almost once or twice to none.

“Bite me.” His voice was strained, jaw clenched tightly in a pathetic attempt to keep himself from cumming without stating his desires. “What?” You breathed out in shock, your bounces faltering. He nearly whimpered at the loss of friction, but he held himself back, his big brown eyes staring up at you in an attempt to gauge your reaction.

“I said bite me.” He huffed, lungs finally taking in much needed air. 

“Sam…” You started unsurely, “I’m not sure you know what you’re asking for.” 

“I do. Fuck - I spent hours researching just to make sure it was safe.” Your heart warmed at the confession, but remembering the precarious situation you were both in, you sobered up, slipping back into that sultry mindset as you dragged the tips of your fingers up the side of his neck.

“That's what you want, Sammy baby?” You whispered seductively. Your thumb pressed on the pulse point under his jaw. Your eyes fluttered shut at the tempting feeling of his blood rushing under the pad of your finger. “Yeah, ‘want that real bad.” He groaned out, his hips jumping up at the pleasurable pressure.

You felt yourself let go internally, murmuring out, “Just let me know if it’s too much, okay?” He nodded fastly, “I promise.”

You began to ride him again, hand still pressed against his throat. The dominance was accidental, but he knew it was your hunting instincts. You hadn’t fed off of a human in the last 90 years, it had always been animal blood or an underground network of willing donors - even though Sam really doesn’t like the shady latter.

You could feel your body thrumming with excitement even though you knew this wasn’t going to be an actual kill, but just the idea of biting into someone’s skin - Sam’s skin - for that matter, had caused your body to gain a never ending pace, one that Sam had found quite difficult to follow, but you weren’t doing this with yourself in mind. 

You wanted to share a part of you with Sam that would mark him as yours forever. So, to do that, you wanted him to reach the highest high, then give him the finishing blow. Sam could feel his balls tightening, that familiar coil in his belly as he desperately chased after his release. Before he could crash over the edge, you roughly exposed his neck to you and bit down, hard. 

A strangled moan lodged in your boyfriend’s throat, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he felt you take blood from him. The taste of him was incredible, but you had forced yourself to pull off of him, your mouth stained with his copper essence as he released his seed inside of you, a whine wedging its way out of you.

Sam flopped onto his back, chest heaving as you placed bloody comforting kisses all over his chest.

“You okay, baby?” You asked gently, running your fingers through his long brunette locks. 

“Mhm.” He hummed with a dopey smile on his face.

“Sure,” You giggled, “I’m gonna go get you some water.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @murdadixon @zippertwat @hallecarey1 @alixwriter

[the-sage-libriomancer]

Shigure's relationship with Kyo drives me crazy. he doesn't hate Kyo in the slightest - in fact, he pities Kyo, and not in the condescending "oh you poor little boy, cursed to be a horrible, disgusting monster" sort of way that everyone else does. Shigure pities Kyo for the reason he should be pitied: he's just a kid caught up in a system so inhumane it can't possibly be survived without some seriously unhealthy coping mechanisms.

and it drives me crazy because - listen, Shigure is the only zodiac member who's emotionally aware enough to see the other zodiac members as exactly what they are. he knows Yuki is a severely traumatized kid who projects all of his self-hatred on a single convenient target. he knows Akito is really a scared little girl with a raging god complex (literally) and no concept of a healthy relationship. and he knows Kyo is a regular-ass human being who doesn't deserve to be locked up for the rest of his life just because some arbitrary system says so. he KNOWS it's stupid. he KNOWS it's ridiculous and unfair. and he has to share a house with Kyo knowing that Kyo is living with a sword over his head, hating himself and hating others in perfect tandem because he has no other way of coping with the insane amounts of negativity he's had to deal with his entire life.

but the thing about Shigure is that he KNOWS all of this, and the same time he doesn't really CARE. he feels sorry for Kyo, but an apathetic sort of pity, a disinterested "this is how it is. such a shame." sort of pity. in some ways he's worse than the other zodiacs because he DOES see Kyo as a person, someone he likes being around even, but he still considers Kyo below his attention because all his focus is on Akito and breaking the curse. and sure, once the curse is broken Kyo will theoretically be set free with the rest of them, but that's more of a coincidental side effect than anything. despite being in a much more dangerous and precarious mental space AND comfortably in Shigure's reach, Kyo is about as much a priority for Shigure as Ritsu or Momiji.

and it drives me CRAZY because i think Shigure does start actively caring about Kyo as the series goes on, but it's hard to tell when that happens and to what extent. when Kazuma told Shigure he planned to reveal Kyo's true form and Shigure said he was going too far - whose sake was it for? was Shigure trying to protect Kyo, who would be hideously traumatized/emotionally scarred by such a cruel betrayal? was he trying to protect Kyo and Tohru's relationship, which was still formulating and might, under such severe testing, ultimately end up damaged beyond repair? was he only trying to protect Tohru, who wasn't ready to be burdened by such a horrible aspect of the curse so soon, or perhaps simply didn't deserve it? or was it all for the sake of himself, trying to protect his still-forming plans of using Tohru's positive effect on the Sohmas to break the curse?

Shigure cares about Kyo, but they're not close and Kyo clearly isn't a priority. he treats Kyo like a person - offering him genuine advice, teasing him like he teases anyone else, even speaking up on his behalf once or twice - and yet he's too entrenched in the long game to spare much active interest in Kyo. for a very long time, he doesn't care about Kyo the way he cares about Yuki or Tohru, and it's never made clear when exactly that changed. and the thing that gets me about this whole situation is that right from the start, Shigure is in a position where he can meet Kyo at his level - as equals, just one human being to another - but he doesn't, because Shigure is a chessmaster, Shigure is someone who observes and calculates, Shigure never steps in unless one of his chess pieces makes a wrong move and he absolutely has to.

it drives me crazy. Shigure drives me crazy. this series drives me so so crazy.

[shizunitis]

No, ur absolutely so right about Bingcest. Preach louder because like. It’s just so fun. Any reason why they would be doing it is so fun. Is Bingge fucking Bingmei to show him how he needs to fuck Shizun? Is it a domination thing? What crazy kinks would Bingmei learn from Bingge? How would he try and incorporate them with Shizun? So many questions. I want Bingge to bite Bingmei’s lips when they kiss.

anon i love you and am willing to go through the abyss for you empty-handed and with my hands tied. will give you my firstborn. thank you for letting me talk about this please never leave me

now that the bingmei rp is over, and keeping in mind that i am forever sleep deprived, in a vaguely bingge mood, and also very sorry for what that means for any passersby, here’s my answer. horniness and thoughts (hopefully coherent enough) under the cut

though i find the shizun sandwich version of bingcest to be extremely tasty and a great apperitif, i feel like the pure bingge-bingmei storylines my brain throws at me every now and then are so fucking good (read: hhNnNg) on their own.

a non-exhaustive list of some ideas i didn’t ever think too deeply about but like for reasons:

what if bingge is bingmei’s shizun.

what if bingmei gets stranded in pidw.

what if bingge accompanies bingmei in the abyss.

what if instead of only having bingge and bingmei, we also throw in oo!lbh into the mix and make this the worst throuple to have ever existed.

what if the system fucks up and there’s two binghe’s from the very beginning, twins or clones or whatever, and they brave the world on their own so as not to strain the washerwoman’s already precarious situation further than they did the first time around.

what if bingmei wishes very, very hard for a father during his disciplehood, and the system plops bingge into his world when shen yuan is mia.

what if bingge goes out and tries to find the svsss world again but ends up in oo!pidw.

what if bingge and bingmei live to the ends of their lives and meet after the universe is wiped as cosmic beings and they have incomprehensible sex to soothe the pain.

what if bingmei suspects bingge came back to steal shizun during the monthly wifeplots, and just jumps the gun and goes after the fucker directly.

what if modern au.

what if modern au where they’re separated at birth.

what if actual lab clones of each other!

et cetera (many more examples. none of which i can think of right now and if i’m being honest? half of these i thought up on the fly, so i was lying. fibbing. other words. never ever assume i know what i’m talking about)

in any and all these situations shen qingqiu and/or shen yuan could and perhaps should be integrated, but for my purposes he can take a moment to breathe. i’ll return him his husbands shortly.

back to the point: i love every iteration of bingcest.

bingge and bingmei being very alpha vs. alpha about fucking and literally fighting for dominance. bingmei being horrible at kissing and bingge getting annoyed with the teeth thing and showing him how to actually bite someone (stealing your desires as they perfectly align with mine, anon) and then finding out that what bingge would consider lowly and ignoble (is that how you use the word? probably not), bingmei blushes and whines for so prettily.

exchanging blood and it fails to do anything but induce arousal in the other and then using that as a way to torment each other.

i want the snapping teeth and the clawing and the violence. the almost-tangible, suffocating hatred and frustration. them choking on their leashes tied together without their knowledge. choking on them where the’re tied to opposite ends of the bed as they try to get to the other. and so forth

but soft bingcest works beautifully too. don’t know how they’d end up in that situation but i’m picturing it and it’s very nice.

bingge’s vanity and desire to be perfect projected onto his own self staring back at him, bingmei’s bratty disobedience challenging bingge’s desire to subjugate and conquer and take, all of this culminating in the two of them understanding their differences but also loathing them in a way. why is he different, he’s me, why can’t he understand, why isn’t he doing what i would, why does he hate me, the likes

oh!! bingmei should yell that at bingge actually. or growl it while he pins bingge down to get him to listen to him. and bingge should want to say, “are you stupid?” but holds back because now isn’t the time. where did the brat even get that idea from? he’s done everything he could to make him stronger, to make him realise that the world is a shit, cruel place and they only have each other in the end, and yeah it’s a shit hand to be dealt, but is it? is it really?

hm. don’t really know where that thought ends up but i’m pretty sure it ends up with both of them fucking unbearably tenderly (by their standards) in a forest somewhere.

anyway.

i don’t mean to exclude shizun because. i wouldn’t fucking dare? but bingcest is. it’s dear to me. i’m a bingcest purist if you’d like, but bingcestqiu/yuan is second on the list. third is mobingcumplane/moshangbingqiu but that’s another thing altogether

(i have no actual clue if there’s ship names for these already. surely there are?)

BUT. adding shizun into the mix is wonderful. i’ve rec’ed it before but through the eye of a needle is SUCH a good fic PLEASE give it a read it’s my favourite fic ever ever in the history of ever

i love the idea of shizun trying to tame these two idiots and failing miserably. i also love the idea of him succeeding. i want bingmei making bingge drink some ‘respect shizun’ juice and i want bingge to give bingmei some much needed ‘fuck shizun’ lessons. i want shizun to direct their every movement while he casually drinks his tea and pretends like he’s not foaming at the mouth seeing the two protagonists being “forced” to go at each other like they’re passionate, devoted lovers.

just.

bingcest…

there’s so much i want from bingcest. i want the guilt, and the confusion, and the rage! i want the angst! the territorial spats, the dick measuring contests (literal and metaphorical). the comfort! the. idk man they should be allowed to be horrible to each other, it’s not like they can die.

(holy shit what if one of them dies. fuck i’m exhausted but please. kill one of them and make the other revive him. somehow. maybe we can make regret of chunshan reality but it’s bingcest, if you understand)

but mainly i want the two pretty idiots humping each other’s thighs like teenagers. making bingge crawl for bingmei is also a very fun thought that would make him (plural) react in a very entertaining way. getting bingmei to power bottom is chef’s kiss when bingge’s on the other end. teaching bingge about the beauty of surrendering to his own self, which he does not trust with anything but also understands more than he’d like or wants to acknowledge is also neat. they would get up to degeneracies that i can’t speak of. i’m shy and also inarticulate about them

oooh also lebingcest. exactly the same as before but it’s better. because lesbian yaoi

[remusluvr]

heart to heart | james potter

summary: James is your safe haven, he accepts you with open arms. content: secret relationship, brief talk of death (like one sentence), unedited

Time had frozen when you were told. This was the one thing you had been trying to avoid for as long as possible. It's unavoidable now.

"It's time you step up and do something for once," your mother berated, "There's a meeting in an hour. You will be expected to make your decision then. Do not embarrass me."

Fear flowed through your veins after she left the room. There was only one way out of this messy situation - your bedroom window. And so, knowing exactly who to go to, you quickly packed a bag and left. You ran as far as you could before apparating to Diagon Alley where you would be able to find a floo transport to get to your destination.

Your fist pounded against the old door as you looked behind you as each second ticked along. What if they knew where you were going? What if it was a trap to see what you would do? What if they are after you? Raising your fist to knock again, the door opens to a confused James Potter.

"Jamie," you sighed, tears welling in your eyes now as you push yourself into his arms. You can feel his beating heart as he pulls you into his house. He kept you held to his chest as you calmed your breathing. You were safe.

"Can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?" he asked, taking extra attention to make sure his voice was calm. He didn't want to scare you. Sirius came trotting down the stairs, watching the interaction between you and the other Gryffindor boy.

"What the fuck? When did this start?" is all he says as he stops at the end of the staircase. James waves him off, turning his attention back to you. His eyes held so much love that you just wish you'd never have to interrupt your staring with such a heavy topic.

"They tried to make me become a death eater," you sniffled, lip wobbling. He pulled you back into his chest, holding you tight against him. Sirius gasped, excusing himself. He can get whatever answers he's looking for later. Right now you clearly need James to yourself. "I can't go back there, Jamie. I can't."

"You won't, baby. I'm not going to let you."

Your heart is racing when you pull away, wiping at your tear-stained cheeks. He doesn't let you go far, keeping your hand in his. When his mom comes into the room, you straighten up and quiet down.

"I know Sirius is listening at the top of the stairs. He can show you my room, let me talk with my mom." You hear Sirius grunt and can't help but giggle, hugging James one last time before grabbing your bag and heading upstairs. You and Sirius have never gotten along, not when you have been living very precariously, trying not to anger your family. He went the different route, going out of his way to anger them.

He gives you a half-hearted smile when you reach him and you want to apologize for all the mean remarks you spit his way. You both understand though, you were in the same situation.

When James returns to his room, around thirty minutes later, he crashes down on the bed beside you, kicking Sirius out. He had stayed to keep you company, still a little too nervous to be left alone.

"I'm sorry for barging in. I just had nowhere else to go."

"Please don't apologize, I'm glad you're here. You know that I worry when you're home. Now, I don't have to worry."

"Yeah, until we're back in school and all of my housemates want me dead." He frowns at that. James is always optimistic but he knows that you're right. They're not going to take your denouncement of Voldemort well and there will be consequences but he promises to never leave your side and that you can sleep in his dorm all you want if that's what it takes.

His kindness makes your heart ache and at the news of you being allowed to stay here, it only aches more for his family. Why couldn't your own family be this way?

"Only thing is that you have to sleep in one of the guest rooms," he sighs, rolling his eyes. You giggle as he pulls you to lay with him. "Good thing we can be sneaky."

[adsosfraser]

calamity's cocoa

a zombie apocalypse fluff-adjacent oneshot. in which Peeta's mother meets a satisfying ending. meet cute wc: 1793

happy katniss everdeen day <33 (it's still May 8 shh), this was originally written for the d12 fluff fest but I shall post it now instead

Snow falls unhurried to the ground. I watch as the flakes lick the pavement, not sticking but melting immediately. The sight would make me smile, were I in a well-insulated home, with a roaring fire to warm my toes and a cup of hot cocoa in my hands.

But, I speed on ahead on the precarious mountain highway, dodging abandoned cars that dot the two lanes. They slowly stretch farther and farther apart as I push deeper into the mountains, my foot like lead against the accelerator.

I catch a blur from my right, where there is a gradual hill down into the valley. I'm used to deer and other manner of critter in my woods, so I calmly slam my foot on the brakes. Well, as calmly as one can in a situation like this.

As the creature comes closer into view, I gasp at the distinctly human shape. It doesn't move as I ram right into it, sending its body crumpling right into the windshield and flying straight up over behind me. Even at the reduced speed I'm going, there's no way a human would have survived that.

But then, the disjointed limbs reanimate in my rear view mirror. I jump quickly to my bow and arrow, shoving the driver door open with a speed I didn't know I possessed and send one of my arrows flying straight through the walking corpse's eye. I scan my surroundings for more of the creatures, they usually travel in swarms, like a hive mind and I slip back inside the car. There is no sign of others as I turn the key over to the piece of junk I had borrowed just this morning.

I see a streak of light blond in my peripheral vision. My heart races. I was so certain I had killed that zombie with that arrow straight to the eye.

"Holy Fuck!"

My head jerks back into the headrest as the car splutters to its death.

And then my eyes take in the boy standing in front of my window with a sheepish smile. His hands are deep in his pockets as he shivers in the cold. I roll down the window, happy to see no signs of deteriorating flesh from him.

"Hi."

"Uh, hello."

He looks back at the blonde zombie, her hair limp and pale and her flesh sagging away from her bones.

"That was my mother."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I couldn't kill her myself, so I nudged her in the right direction."

"When was she bitten?"

"Five days ago."

I look down to the chains wrapped around her neck.

"If-" The man looks down at me, hopefully shy. "If you have nowhere to stay, you can come with me Katniss."

The use of my name forces me to inspect him closer and my eyes widen as the recognition dawns on me. I haven't seen that face since middle school. Or was it elementary?

"Peeta?"

His face brightens with a smile. "You remember me?"

"Of course I do. You remember me?"

"I remember everything about you."

My face heats at his sincere candour. The pines around us groan and I push open my door. It sticks with the ice and cold and Peeta helps pull from the outside as well. Soon, I'm free with a quiet thanks to him and I reach the trunk for my hunting bag, my bow and arrow already in hand. I never seem to stop owing my boy with the bread. The boy who saved my life from certain starvation so many years ago. So I try to match his kindness in at least an attempt of some repayment.

"Lead the way?" I gesture with my bow in hand.

We abandon the car, its obvious defects no worth risking out necks out in the open to fix for hours in the cold, exposed to both the weather and the creatures that go bump in the day.

It's not far as Peeta limps his way with a rudimentary wooden crutch to a secluded cabin surrounded by chestnuts, oaks, maples, and pines. The trees offer a good camouflage; the house is well hidden within the leaves and bark. He notices my stare as he looks back at me with a smile for the tenth time, making sure I'm following and safe. That I haven't been left behind. Which would be impossible considering I'm practically breathing down his neck.

"I was bit. My brother had the crazy idea to chop off my leg and somehow it worked."

I don't know how to respond, so I simply don't.

My silence doesn't seem to bother him, as he keeps trudging on through the small clearing we're in, pointing out this bird and that rock or a random squirrel along the way. And then we finally stop before the cabin. It's nice and huge, befitting a family like the Mellark's, who soared into wealth as their bakery became renowned in this part of Appalachia a couple years ago.

It reminds me of my father's cabin, the logs of pine expertly crafted into a cohesive stack, but on a more extreme scale. In fact, that's the very destination I had in mind before I rammed into Peeta's mother. The peace and quiet of my father's cabin, where he taught me how to hunt and fish and swim. To survive. And now, all I have left of my father is his wisdom. It does give me some comfort to know that he didn't have to go through this shit show. That his death happened long before the outbreak, and wasn't marred by his corpse reanimating.

Peeta stomps his boots before the entryway and I follow suit, falling into a routine almost instantly. We toe off our shoes in the mud room. There are no mud prints, or motes of dust in sight. Peeta calls out to someone and I tense, unready for a presence other than him. And then, I hear the bells jingle and hear hooves clopping against the wood floors.

"Lady!" I crouch down and wrap my arms around the goat's neck.

It's been years since I've seen the creature. She was Prim's, and it broke my heart to see her go away when we could no longer sustain a goat in our new apartment. Her hair was in two braids, and she bawled as she put one last pretty pink ribbon on her beloved goat. Tears spring to my eyes too a that memory, and how young and innocent my baby sister was. Her heart was, and is so big.

"I begged my dad to adopt her when I found out you were moving. I wanted to give her back to you guys." He looks around sheepishly, his hand scratching the back of his neck as a blush colours his face. "Sorry it took a few years. So much has happened."

"That's actually—" I smile up at him, scratching the spot between Lady's shoulders that she loves. "—so sweet of you Peeta."

"Is your sister…?"

Lady runs away, happy with her quota of pets for the day, and I hear clomps up the steps to the second floor.

"Alive? Yes, I was going to meet her at our father's cabin. Same with my mother."

He exhales a big breath and reaches out a hand to me. He knows I'm perfectly capable of getting up from my squat alone, but something in me makes me accept the help.

"Hot cocoa? I still have some packs stashed away after all these months."

"Sure." My lips twitch into a soft smile.

My face will surely fall off from all the smiling I seem to be doing today. And it's barely noon.

He leads the way to the kitchen, taking my bag from me and dropping it down near the island. The entire place is open and tall, the beams of pine and cedar reaching high up in the air to almost twenty feet. The large windows on the wall opposite the kitchen offer a breathtaking view of the mountains. My mouth gapes like a fish as I take in the leather couches, the stainless steal fridge, and the kitchen island with a nice stone surface.

Peeta's already at the kettle when I finally take a seat at one of the stools. It swivels and I swing myself side to side as he putters about. My brows furrow at the sight of the cord attached to the kettle, and into an outlet that is clearly working, and then I remember the sight of the massive solar panels on the cabin roof. The water heats up quickly and he pours two cups of the liquid into plain white mugs with the hot cocoa powder. He ushers us into the living room, and we fall into the loveseat. The cushions swallow us and we slide into one another, our legs connecting with a tingling rush of warmth. He begins a speech, jaw set and eyes determined.

"With this whole death of civilisation, or well rebirth, whatever people want to call it these days. I've really sorted my priorities. We've all been forced to." Peeta pauses, licking his soft and plump lips as he looks directly into my eyes. My palms sweat at the eye contact and I regrip my mug with the sleeves of my long shirt. "And well, I uh." His eyes dart to the side and quickly back at me. "I like you Katniss. I have ever since I heard you sing the Valley Song in Kindergarten. Your hair was in two braids instead of one that day and your hand shot straight up when the teacher asked for a volunteer. The birds stopped when you sang, just like with your father." Next, his eyes swoop to the bottom of my braid, a yearning behind them as if he wants to reach out and caress it. "I don't presume to know how you feel, and I don't want to force-"

Impusively, I rush forward to shut him up with a kiss. I don't know what makes me do it, seeing the sentimental side of him with Lady, the way I watched my boy with the bread, my dandelion in the spring through the years before my sister and I moved in with our uncle Haymitch, or the cozy feeling of the snow falling down softly outside around us, with a warm cup of hot cocoa in my hands. But I whisper the words to him that I never even admitted myself. I let myself feel a semblance of happiness that I've forbidden myself from over the years. My chest blossoms with the warmth that overwhelms it and I break away from the kiss. My first one.

"I like you too Peeta."

[right-there-ride-on]

Gyro and Hot Pants: Pride, Guilt, and Consequences

Chapter 33: The True Man's World Part 1

Let's set up some context for Gyro and HP's first meeting. True Man's World takes place just after the third stage. Gyro is coming off of a fresh defeat by both Johnny and Diego and as of the start of True Man's World is only just starting to understand what it is he's lacking. We know Gyro is very prideful and at this point his ego is in a sensitive place.

At the start of the arc, Hot Pants, the actual winner of the third stage, is approaching them. Gyro is willing to open a dialogue, but Johnny advises against it, and suggests ignoring HP. Most everyone who has approached Johnny and Gyro at this point has been hostile, so this is actually quite a bit of good grace on their part.

Chapter 33: The True Man's World Part 1

Hot Pants' introduction paints them as a very serious person. They see the world matter-of-factly. The two things we know about them from even these introductory panels is that they take even seemingly minor infringements quite seriously, and that they have no qualms using violence or even killing if they deem the situation calls for it.

In the flashback, we see that Johnny advised against taking meat from the cow, but Gyro did so anyway. This could be read as a minor case of Gyro continuing to disregard Johnny's more analytical approach to situations in favor of satisfying himself (whether that be his pride, or in this case, his appetite). But while at this point in the story Gyro can essentially 'get away' with disregarding Johnny's advice, Hot Pants' presence (and the consequence they represent) does not allow him to continue to do so. HP, introduced at the end of the Third Stage, is essentially here to make sure Gyro remembers not to fall back into his old habits.

Chapter 33: The True Man's World Part 1

HP as Gyro's 'consequence' is also represented in how quickly and soundly they defeat him. Up until this point in the story, Gyro has never been so quickly incapacitated in a fight, not even by Diego. Moreover, since his pride is still stinging due to his loss in the third stage, I'm sure the fact that HP (who in a sense also stole the win from him) has so little trouble against the Steel Balls (Gyro's pride and joy), makes this loss not just frustrating but humiliating as well.

Chapter 33: The True Man's World Part 1

Unusually, Gyro is the one urging Johnny to shoot here. Johnny is hesitant, however, and in contrast to his earlier advice is now the one trying to open a dialogue with HP while Gyro is trying to close it. The encounter between HP and Gyro is a microcosm of what the True Man's World arc encompasses, which is to say, Gyro finally admitting to himself that he isn't as free as he'd like to believe. In the fight with HP, Gyro is trying to get rid of the consequences of his actions (stealing the meat) and continue blustering ahead as he had been doing, without the need to look back and understand the 'why' of what he chooses to do. Don't believe me?

Chapter 33: The True Man's World Part 1

Gyro directly tells Johnny that Johnny should have gone for the kill, based on what-ifs and maybes. This isn't Gyro's usual style; he only acts this way when his pride has been wounded and Johnny has 'let him down' (parallel this disagreement with the Catch the Rainbow situation later on, where Johnny again acts in a way that allows Gyro's pride to be wounded; in that case, it escalates from a disagreement into Gyro actually striking Johnny). Gyro's pride is probably his most sensitive point, and as of True Man's World it's in a very precarious place. Gyro doesn't like HP because HP is a reminder that he's not everything he thinks he is.

Chapter 33: The True Man's World Part 1

Note the word choice: 'Is this what I get?' Gyro believes that he should be able to get away without facing the consequences of his actions. We see similar behavior even during the first stage of the race, when Gyro is shocked and bitter that he incurred a penalty for cheating.

Chapter 12: First Stage Disqualified from Victory

In this case, he even retaliates (quite pettily) for the damage to his pride. However, as demonstrated by how quickly HP incapacitates him, they are not someone Gyro can act out against. As such, he simmers in his frustration and believes HP is the one tricking he and Johnny. Moreover, this frustration quickly develops into something of an inferiority complex.

Chapter 33: The True Man's World Part 1

Gyro and Johnny again have opposite reactions to the situation and Hot Pants' presence. Johnny remains calm while Gyro starts posturing in order to try and recuperate his lost pride. After this point they work together; when HP and Johnny are taken out, Gyro is told explicitly by Ringo what it is he needs to work on and fully resolves to find his own path, separate from his past. Despite this, Gyro's grudge against HP doesn't stop.

Chapter 45: The Promised Land Sugar Mountain (Part 1)

In fact, it might only be exacerbated when Gyro finds out who HP really is - and, importantly, that HP too is from his country. Narratively, this evolves HP into not just the metaphorical consequence of Gyro's recklessness, but also a link to the past he still struggles with. Gyro consistently gets defensive whenever Johnny questions him on the identity of the corpse, and in this case, despite having a strong suspicion of who it is, is still avoiding acknowledging the answer. I have to wonder if Gyro, suspecting the corpse is Christ, believes there's a chance he'll be judged for his past. In that way, we can see that he's still running from his past and the guilt he feels toward it.

The next arc we really see all three of them together is in Civil War, which is after Wrecking Ball. Gyro faced his counterpart in Wekapipo, and it was in that fight that he finally reconciled his tradition and his current path and learned to 'hunger nobly'. However, Hot Pants' presence in Civil War forces him to at last confront the part of his past he's been avoiding: not just the Zeppeli family tradition, which Gyro has resolved, but his own guilt towards his duty as executioner.

Chapter 56: Civil War (Part 1)

In fact, it's Gyro who insists that he and Johnny follow Hot Pants into Gettysburg. After HP stole most of the corpse parts from them in In A Silent Way, the obvious reason is that Gyro wants to get them back. However, Gyro explicitly says, 'Tell me everything', which implicitly indicates that he intends to interrogate HP on who they are and their connection to his country and past. I have to wonder if the question on Gyro's mind is, 'Do they know who I am?'. That is, an executioner. And if so, Gyro is probably intent on figuring out what Hot Pants will do with that information, and if that information is influencing their actions towards him in any way. This shared link between Gyro and HP forces Gyro to ask the question of whether or not the things he's trying to leave behind and grow out of are still following him.

Chapter 56: Civil War (Part 1)

While Johnny interrogates HP, Gyro goes to the back and finds that the thing he's been avoiding can be avoided no longer. Gyro is first one we see come face-to-face with Civil War, a stand that operates on guilt, even though Hot Pants was the first one to suffer its effects. Also, HP's imagery as a 'pure' nun stands in strong contrast to the dirty work Gyro endured as an executioner - even if the truth is that they're both equally sinful.

Chapter 57: Civil War (Part 2)

Both HP and Gyro are truly guilty; Johnny, however, is not, which is why, narratively speaking, he's able to defeat Axl Ro. However, like the past that links Gyro and HP together, they also share a massive sense of shame and guilt that comes with those paths (see my The Duty Gyro Zeppeli analysis)

Chapter 59: Gettysburg Dream

Jesus makes his true debut in this arc to Johnny; but does not for both Gyro and HP. Though Gyro may not fully comprehend it, the lines above demonstrate that, at a base level, he and HP both want the same thing: to be forgiven. Gyro begs Johnny to let the corpse go, but calls on the Pope of all people. I don't think it's unlikely that Gyro and HP fell into similar lines of thinking: collecting the corpse is a path to forgiveness. If the collected corpse is returned to the Vatican and given to the Pope, they can be assured they've found the relief from their guilt that they've been searching for.

Chapter 75: D4C (Part 8)

Chapter 84: Ball Breaker (Part 2)

In the end, both Gyro and Hot Pants die. Hot Pants dies unfulfilled and overwhelmed by their guilt; the fact that the corpses' awakening is enough to kill them even without Valentine's interference is indication that their faith and hope were in the wrong place. That is to say, HP understood that the consequence of completing the corpse was an ultimate judgement of whether they were worthy of forgiveness. Yet they did not find it and their perception of the corpse's 'choice' (lack of forgiveness) froze them into inaction. Narratively, they could not find the forgiveness they were looking for because completing the corpse was never the correct approach to absolving their guilt. But Gyro dies satisfied with who he has become; throughout his journey with Johnny he learned to overcome his past and dies satisfied, knowing that he'd lived a good life - and that, to him at least, everything he went through at last made sense in the end. He's no longer running from the consequences of his actions; he actively chooses to stay and fight with Johnny, overcoming his pride and the turning the burden of his duty into something positive for the sake of his friend.

If you got this far, thanks for reading!

[meetinginsamarra]

Fanfics I really liked in June 2024

So. Since I keep a list of what I´ve read anyway (there´s always a list), I will rec all the fics I´ve wholly enjoyed on a monthly basis. Old and new, canon or AU, big or small authors, long or short but nearly always Johnlock (-ish).

-----

The Disappointed Optimist's Guide to Sharing a Flat with a Madman by Calais_Reno @calaisreno

Despairing over his horrible living situation, John Watson has a small bit of luck when he meets Victor Trevor, who is trying to get out of his lease. Taking over the lease will mean moving in with Sherlock Holmes, but compared with his current horrible flatmates- Seriously, how bad can it be? A couple of brats who mess up the flat, make fun of him, and eat his food. Or a bloke who doesn’t talk and sometimes plays the violin. He can stick it out for two months...

Lots of fun and some hurt/comfort, great reading!

Two Dozen Kilometres North of Berlin by stopthat

“How am I meant to forgive you?” John whispers, the moment calling for quiet, the question heavy and harsh. Sherlock thinks of what they’ve both been through, each suffering in solitude, existing in a divided nightmare, several worlds apart.

“Perhaps you’re not,” he says, closing his eyes against the inescapable dark.

Reunion, angst with happy ending and bedsharing. What more does one need?

A thing with peas by khorazir @khorazir

Sherlock does the laundry. John cooks a thing with peas. They talk. Finally.

Yes, finally! Just a lovely and long overdue and very satisfying conversation.

A Home for Us by sussexbound

He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Post-Reichenbach, hurt/comfort and caring John. No Mary. Lots of feelings!

Masters of Ink by Indybaggins @indybaggins

John has a triple-coiled tattoo machine in his hand and a row of inks at the ready. He has gloves on, a willing client in front of him, and a detailed stencil. He is ready to win this bloody competition. Except he’s competing against Sherlock Holmes...

Awesome first meeting on a reality show, Ink Master AU. There is expert tattooing, slightly less expert flirting, and two men falling hard. But John is married, and they can’t all win.

[zarathebleachfox]

About Ichihime

This ship wakes up so many parts of my brain. And I'm about to go insane here. But to keep things short: They didn't fit good in chaos but try; and in the calm they fit perfectly.

And now to go on details:

The first reason why I adore IchiHime is because I think they don't fit good, I think they stumble against the other, they are not soulmates, they are not 2 peas in a pot, they do not fit well. But they both want to.

During the whole series their desire to protect the other has done more harm than good and they both don't fully trust the other on being able to protect themselves, and they care SO MUCH. They step on each others foot and learn to meet in the middle instead. Ichigo doesn't want Orihime to be part of fight but she doesn't want to simply sit and watch, and Hime doesn't want Ichigo to get hurt but he needs to fight. I think it's lovely, the desire to protect the other ending up getting them hurt at the end, and finally over the time, deciding to adapt to the other and not ignore the other's wishes, Orihime allowing Ichigo to get hurt and letting him fight and deciding to be there to cure him instead and Ichigo allowing Orihime to fulfill her role as a shield and allowing her to be in precarious situations.

It's realistic, they are not made for the other but they do fit good enough, like 2 pieces of different puzzles that fit just perfectly but are not supposed to be there. Orihime is the one that fits in Ichigo's puzzle, being in his life causes disasters and completes equally, and because due to the fact of her puzzle being broken and incomplete she tries to find her value in a place where she won't find much.

Her role is good to make Ichigo's story dynamic, he is a dude that gets into fights and gets hurt and her fast shields allow her to protect the hits he doesn't see coming and heal him if he has to keep fighting. But other than that fullfilment, Orihime's troubles don't fit the plot of Bleach, her own troubles are the stress of school and living alone, money problems, the struggles of independence since young, A girl living alone in a violent world and her fear of being violent and aggresive; and those things won't get fixed in the wars she participated.

And this is how I go to the second reason why I love IchiHime. Normalcy is where they actually fit. Orihime is just a normal gal but that is used to chaos, she never had a normal life so she know how to handle disorder, she knows how to handle emotions, injuries, and unexpected situations and Ichigo is a dude that has lived through so much chaos and never once sat down and thought about it. When there's calm and things need healing, when there's a need of warm and safety that's where they fit the other.

Orihime is just a girl his age that goes to the same school, they can study together for the classes that they don't do well, but he can also go to her if he is injured to seek healing, where Orihime doesn't see her value and worth Ichigo has seen it and appreciate it, She doesn't see the things she has done for other, it doesn't matter if she revived and saved people, but for Ichigo it matters, it didn't at the start but now he sees her and he can help her see her greatness herself.

Ichigo is just a dude that doesn't know how to handle his feelings but her is good at fight things that are wrong, When Ichigo can't talk about his issues Orihime can let him have his time, she is good at accepting the bad in one self where one lacks she can sit in her own feelings and process them and she can help Ichigo be able to do the same.

Where they want normal, where they want comfort, inner growth and safety is where the other shines in their life. Where the other fits.

Other random silly reasons:

I find cute a silly high school crush, Ori likes Ichigo for the silly reason of "his face being funny". When other people usually find him scary instead she find him endearing.

The soft looks Ichigo usually gives Orihime, which is understandable, Orihime is a character that has gone through a lot and everyone treat her delicately, Yoruichi, Ishida and even Urahara. But the fact that Ichigo, a character that usually just doesn't care much about people he is not close with shows softness and care around her makes me jdanajkdsnaj. Ichigo caring is part of himself, I just think it's lovely, their dinamic of wanting to treat the other right is adorable. Orihime doesn't push Ichigo, and Ichigo is soft with her even avoiding her look when he is going to do something she is not going to like.

Although Ori has a crush on him, she has never once shown what she expects in the relationship and we have no clue what Ichigo is romantically, but we know Orihime is chaotic silly and Ichigo likes shakespeare so the possibilities of their first dates being an absolute disaster because Ori is not treating their dates romantically and Ichigo is doing his best at not being sap to keep his cool persona making the date super platonic and confusing fills me with joy.

Orihime is baby and she can have anything she wants to, and if she wants a cool boyfriend she is gonna get it by my artistic hand.

Ichigo is silly and dumb, and Orihime is even sillier and dumber, these motherfuckers are going to be so funny in a relationship or process to BE in a relationship.

---

And here's the long ass text lol

What do you think?

This is literally the first time I actually have an interaction with someone about a specific type of media which does not entail a discussion of problematic content in said media; that is we are actually having a convo about stuff to enjoy in the media, which is new to me! Because I usually do not tend to have convos about stuff I enjoy, I tend to vent about negativity more.

So the first thing I thought about this when reading it is "Nice! Finally some interaction for me through asks!". So I am grateful for this, really.

Now, I agree with most of the concepts you expressed, though maybe I myself would have expressed them differently. Because I believe that they also would find difficulties fitting in a normal, standard human lifestyle. Mainly because of Ichigo and his attachment to his Shinigami lifestyle, or in general, him enjoying to prove himself against various opponents who threaten others. We saw him being strongly affected by the loss of his Shinigami powers in the Fullbringer arc. So I think that in whichever situation they find themselves in, Ichigo and Orihime will find a struggle that they need to face to understand how to approach it separately AND together. And sometimes approaching it together will inevitably lead to contrast and mixed results but they don't stop caring about each other either way and that's really interesting. Almost like a "we have been through a lot, so I will understand you for this mistake, and we will simply turn another page and see what awaits us in the future".

Aside from that I agree that they are not meant to be soul mates at all. Otherwise their relationship would not have hit as many road bumps as it did in Canon. But I find the concept of soul mates to be annoying anyway and prefer flawed individuals a lot more.

I take it you agree more with my second interpretation of IchiHime (perhaps! This is only my impression, I do not want to assume anything), and honestly, it is the one I prefer as well. They are not absolutely perfect for each other in every situation, but they want to try and make it work for the other because they care. And I find that compelling. One thing IchiHime is not, IMO, is boring. It can be interesting and thought provoking in so many ways. But people see "dorky female character+main character" and think just because of that it is boring. Or they think Orihime is merely a damsel in distress. Ignoring what are the reasons that made it so difficult for her to reveal her true feelings or stand up.

Thank you for this. It is nice to hear other people's headcanons as well. Especially when it comes to ships! I usually only ever elaborate headcanons for singular characters, outside of the context of ships. And I can totally imagine them both being dorks when approaching the matter of dates and romanticism and the like!

[ncfan-1]

“Odd, that is,” Anakin said, perfectly straight-faced. So serious. Mace restrained laughter. Yoda seemed unconcerned, but Mace wondered, just a bit, if Anakin was making a joke at the Jedi Master’s expense. This boy would bear careful watching.

- Page 24

And this passage is going to make me examine this book carefully as well.

I’m reading Star Wars: Mace Windu: The Glass Abyss right now, and I recognize that this passage is potentially completely harmless. Mace admits in Revenge of the Sith, if only by implication, that he’s never trusted Anakin, when he tells him that if Anakin is right about Palpatine being the Sith Lord, then he will have earned his, Mace’s, trust. With that in mind, Mace’s attitude towards Anakin in this scene, believing the worst of him without much evidence, does fit with the way he’s characterized as regarding Anakin. Even if Anakin is making a joke, he’s a nine-year-old boy who is very new here—the wound left by removing the tracker implanted in his neck is noted in this scene to still be healing—and there are plenty of explanations for why he would make the joke that don’t involve mean-spiritedness on his part.

Such as Anakin maybe wanting to form a connection with Yoda that every child in this Temple possesses except for him, and perhaps going about it the wrong way. He probably would be quite anxious about doing that. His situation is unique, and probably still feels quite precarious to him, considering that both Yoda and Mace were part of the Council meeting in TPM where Anakin was treated with such cold, unempathetic detachment. There was plenty of room for the High Council to say that they didn’t think he was suitable to becoming a Jedi without being as cold and unempathetic as they were, and yet, no effort was made towards warmth.

Elsewhere in this passage, Mace tells Anakin that he’s misunderstood one of the Jedi’s lessons regarding emotions, telling him that he’s not supposed to ignore his feelings, that he’s not supposed to quash all his feelings, but Anakin was met by a Jedi leadership who showed no feeling, no empathy, no warmth, at least not when it came to him. That was his first real impression of the Jedi. And Mace lacks the self-awareness to see that he and Yoda have given Anakin ample reason to feel alienated and insecure, and to perhaps try clumsily and too hard to ingratiate himself with them.

Anakin was worrying at the site of a medical incision, the wound where a slave tracker had been removed from his body, a painful reminder of his obligations to his master on Tatooine. Some thought the wound would remind him of the injustices in the galaxy. Mace feared it would only serve as a reminder of the Jedi’s limitations. They had saved Anakin yet were unable to end the unconscionable practice of slavery outside of the Republic.

- Page 23

Tell him that, then. Get down on this kid’s level and tell him you’re sorry you can’t help, that you just don’t have the influence, the reach.

I haven’t read far into this book, but I already feel like there’s not going to be any such moment. Because it doesn’t fit, does it? It doesn’t fit with the story of the Prequels for the leadership of the Jedi to have at any point looked Anakin in the eye and actually leveled with him, been vulnerable with him. The disconnect between him and them is that of the Council having never made much of an effort to understand Anakin’s differing view of the galaxy from their own, formed by his childhood experiences having been so different from their own.

The reason the passage up top of this post makes me wary, in spite of it being in-character for Mace, is that I’ve gotten whiffs from things I’ve heard of other recent Disney Star Wars properties having perhaps tried to retcon Anakin into having always been a bit of a bad seed. To say I dislike that characterization of him is an understatement; I loathe any attempt to characterize Anakin as having been a bad seed as completely inconsistent with the trajectory of his arc as seen in the Prequels, and just very lazy, creatively void writing, to boot. So yeah, I will be reading any further scenes with Anakin very closely.

[astriiformes]

My instructor for my German class copied me on a communication with my academic advisor about my attendance issues and I get it, I get that I've missed a lot of class and that instructors are frustrated by that, but I genuinely don't know what I'm supposed to do when the problem is that I've been physically unable to wake up most mornings for the last several weeks.

Like I've had similar issues before, but it's so much worse this semester (my class isn't until 10:10am, and I live a 30-40 minute train ride from campus, but that's still not that early). I specifically took this class--at this time too--because I thought it was late enough that it wouldn't be an issue, and now I'm probably going to have to end up in a meeting with her and my advisor where I bawl my eyes out about how I really am trying, and that I know it sounds like the worst excuse ever but I swear I'm not just being lazy or skipping class on purpose.

And it makes me terrified for the future, where I might have jobs where I can't set my own schedule, and especially because when your partner ended up suddenly and mysteriously sick with tired-all-the-time-to-the-point-of-being-mostly-bedbound disease, having your own fatigue issues is incredibly scary and traumatizing. We're already in such a precarious situation, we cannot afford my health going south, too.

I don't know. I'm scared and stressed about this specific scenario, but also about, like, life in general, and feeling pretty miserable.

[truwaifu]

Heartstrings Entangled

Chiyori has never been smooth. Clumsy? Yes. And her clumsiness is exactly what gets her into a very precarious situation with Mr. Arctic himself. Chiyori isn’t getting any closer to facing Satoru but she knows more than anything, she can’t push her feelings for Nanmai away either. 

Chapter three in this series.

Chapter 1 here

Chapter 2 here

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Chiyori (fxreader)

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: None, please free to leave your thoughts and comments. I would love to know how you feel about the series so far; .xx

After what happened with Nanami at the welcome meeting, Chiyori refused to leave her office. She unpacked her office belongings, making sure to hang up the framed photo of her and Satoru. Will he hate me? Does he love him? She worked until it was time for lunch, so engrossed in her work, she hadn’t noticed Ellie at her office door wanting to invite her to lunch. Chiyori came to learn Ellie was in the office right next to hers. She dressed pretty modestly for a woman who was only two years older than her. Her nails were neatly manicured and the pearls around her neck and a certain gleam to them that Chiyori had half a mind to ask her if she polishes her pearls before she puts them on. 

“Believe it or not, the men here aren’t total pricks.” The way Ellie spoke did not match her aesthetic in the slightest. “John is kind, Adam is a little weird, I would stay away from him actually. Joey, well I don’t know much about Joey but Reggie loves him.” 

ChiyoriI was honestly grateful for Ellie and all her insight. “And Reggie is the husband right?” “Yes! He’s that handsome specimen right over there!” Chiyori wasn’t too sure what to expect when looking at Ellie’s husband but he seemed like the perfect match for her. The way they were giving each other flirty eyes across the office lunch room said “you know nothing of our relationship.” They’re cute. As Chiyori watched them she found her mind wandering back to Mr. Arctic and she thought a little harmless digging wouldn’t hurt. Was “work Nanami” different from the Nanami that Satoru knows? 

“What about him, what’s his deal?” She asked, toying with her food trying to remain aloof while she nudged her head towards Nanami.

“Ah, Nanami san. An enigma to most. I’ve seen both men and women throw themselves at him and he wouldn’t even bat an eye. Total gentlemen though and pulls his weight around the office, not to mention the group projects.” Of course he’d be perfect.

 “We’re adults here, we’re still subjected to group projects?”

 “Nothing says teamwork like late hours in the office to close a deal.”

“I guess that’s fair. Is he married?”

“Nope, I’ve only ever seen a white haired man, equally as appealing to the eye, show up once or twice and each time I swear I thought Nanami was going to pop a blood vessel.” A white haired man? Could it be Satoru? Why do I even care? Chiyori knew she should’ve dropped it but curiosity was eating at her. She pulled out her phone and looked to see if she had a picture of her sorcerer easily accessible. 

“Hey Ellie, the white haired man you mentioned, any chance it was him?” Ellie examined the photo in awe. Her expression told Chiyori her suspicions were correct. 

“Is that your husband?”

“Ew, no, that’s my best friend. I may or may not have already met Nanami but I didn’t make the best impression.” 

“You saw Nanami Kento outside?! A rarity indeed.” 

“I don’t think he likes me very much. I tried to make up for it by the end of the night but judging by the look he gave me at my welcome meeting, not only does he remember me, he very much feels disdain towards me.” 

“Wait, what happened?”

“That story is for another time, I have to get back to work.”

“Alright fine, but are you sure it was disdain? The man keeps to himself, but he just doesn’t seem the type.”

“If not disdain, then what? Trust me, he hates me.” 

Chiyori grabbed her garbage and forgotten coffee to head towards the trash. Not noticing her surroundings, she turned and hit a wall, that wall being Nanami Kento. Her coffee spilt all over his chest.

“I am so sorry, Nanami.”

“You forget your formalities.” He doesn’t seem at all bothered by the coffee and more annoyed that Chiyori didn’t address him properly. Hearing his voice clearly in the light of day sent shivers down her spine.

“Huh? We should grab a towel or it'll stain.” 

“It’ll be fine, excuse me.”

“Don’t do that, let me help.” Chiyori grabbed Nanami’s arm and dragged him to the office kitchen area and got to work on finding a towel. She searched through several cabinets and drawers before she found what she was looking for. 

“Perfect! Now, if you have another shirt, you can change into it but this will look worse before it looks better. I used to work in a kitchen and doubled as a server when I was in school and I learned all sorts of cool tricks.” She was rambling and couldn’t find the will to stop. Being this close to Namani made her nervous. She couldn’t look him in the eye. 

“I’m really sorry. I should’ve been paying attention to where I was going.” Namami doesn’t speak. Instead he grunts.

“What did you mean before? About formalities?”

“You should refer to me as Nanami San.” This man seriously hates me.

“Right, of course, I’m sorry.”

“You apologize a lot.”

“Do I? Well now I want to say it again because of how many times I’ve already said it.” Chiyori laughed hoping he’d join in but it’s silent. It’s silent and Chiyori can’t look at him. It’s silent and she can’t look at him and she’s rubbing his chest with a wet towel. She could feel his steel gaze burning a hole through her skull. Insufferable.

“Should be good now, you know, once it dries.”

Without another word Chiyori turned and practically ran back to her office. She stayed there far past normal work hours. She was mortified and was hoping she didn’t run into anyone from the office. If she was lucky, she’d make it to her apartment in one piece. Chiyori had made such a fool of herself in front of Nanami. She couldn’t shake why she cared so much to begin with. He’s gay for heaven's sake! Trying to rid her mind of these intrusive thoughts she locked up and headed for the train. 

Once she made it home, Chiyori tried to focus on anything other than her guilt but she felt as though the universe was hell bent on making her face feelings. Satoru had called twice and twice she ignored his call. When he called for a third time she knew he wasn’t going to stop until he spoke to her. She had no choice but to pick up his call.

“Hey you.” She spoke softly into the phone.

“Tough first day?” There wasn’t a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Something like that.”

“How welcoming was Kento? I told him if he didn’t take care of you I would kick his ass.” Chiyori stiffened.

“You knew he worked there?”

“Of course I knew.”

“And you didn’t think that was something I should know?”

“Why does that piece of information matter, Chi?” There it is, the amusement is back in his tone.

“Don’t fuck with me right now, Satoru.” 

“Okay, crabby. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, you need some rest.” Chiyori winced. How dare she speak to him like that when he wasn’t the one in the wrong.

“I’m sorry, Toru. You didn’t deserve that. I’m such a bitch.” 

“Seriously, you’re good. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ll ease into your job in no time, We all know you’re the best thing for this company. Get some rest, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

The line goes dead before Chiyori could say anything else. She released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Satoru was as supportive as ever. He’d always been the one there for her through all of her troubles and yet she felt like a fraud. I’m the fucking worst. She didn’t know what the future looked like working alongside Nanami. She knew she couldn’t keep this up but she didn’t have it in her to talk to Satoru about it either. Coward. I’m such a fucking coward.

Chapter 4