#they are boyfriends..........................................

[davinawritings]

Monster lover that gets personally offended when they ask you to sit on their face and you hover.

When you say you just don’t want to crush them, it just makes it worse.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN CRUSH ME? YOU THINK I AM FRAGILE AND WEAK?!?!”

After using their strong arms to pull you down onto their face they make you gush on their tongue. They then spend the next few hours showing you just how strong they are by holding you in their arms and bouncing you up and down on their cock, manhandling you into any position they want, and making you take everything they give you.

By the end you are exhausted and on the brink of passing out and they are still muttering under their breath about a human insinuating that they are weak.

🖤❤️💕💕❤️🖤

[monstersflashlight]

Monster boyfriend who gets so excited to be inside of you that spills even before getting his dick inside. You tell him it's okay, he can try again later, but when you see his big tears you can't do anything but to suck him off until he's ready to go again and he can knot you until you feel like you are going to explode. He makes such a cute little noises when he's desperate, you can't say no to him, specially when he's breeding you so good you can feel him in the back of your throat.

[ozzgin]

In reference to your rent-a-monster service post: there’s just something oddly wholesome about a monster walking reader home at night and making sure they get home safe, even before they become a yan.

Imagine reader is just a lil ball of anxiety living in a pretty dangerous city who has to work after dark. Maybe they have a stalker or some shady things happen on the route they take home, and their friend suggests the rent-a-monster business. And the monster who shows up is fully expecting to go on a date or something and reader is just like “hey can you just make sure I don’t die on the way home…..if not that’s fine I can still pay for the time-“

Monster proceeds to immediately become either a platonic or romantic yan in protection mode

Imagine if the monster was some sort of shadow creature, stalking the streets and night and feeding on terror. A tall, crooked abomination, tar black, with hollow eyes and long, dragging claws.

Then you have Reader, an awkward, anxious human who's afraid of the dark. They cannot bear another evening through the empty streets of the neighborhood, so they beg for a monster to keep them company.

"Thank you so much for coming with me", Reader confesses, filled with relief. "It's so scary out here."

The ghastly creature stares with a faint smile.

One thing is certain: no one will be bothering Reader again.

[Rent-A-Monster]

[potato-lord-but-not]

always and forever have them on the brainnnn

also this ship really is the definition of ‘we lost the plot’ what even is malevolent anymore

[supfag]

HE WORRIES AGATHA ALL ALONG (1.02)

[bunnis-monsters]

random question abt the bee hybrids but I am actually very curious abt this,,, since some of the queens sons (I mean, there's gotta be A LOT of them right??) wouldn't move out/mate with another queen so they decide to stay with their mom in their own hive. Is there a possibility that some of them would want breed with her?? I mean, the other bees would probably grow old over time so they'd need some younger more fertile males... Would it be possible that they'd breed with their mom?

Getting this question pretty soon after that drama is pretty funny, but fuck I’ll answer it!

In my bee hybrids universe, all of the queen’s children feel platonic love for their mom! If they decide to stay they become your attendants and take care of you, along with keeping you informed of things going on in the hive.

They also become high ranking generals, or work in the high council.

But most of your sons are traded to other hives. In return you receive new bee hybrids that you can mate with. Your sons then also spy on the other hives and report back to you. They’re sneaky, and always make sure that no one is planning to hurt their mama!

Your daughters go off to make their own hives. They’re just as affectionate with their mom, and often want to ditch their queenly duties to go and see you. All they wanna do is snuggle with their chubby mama and get kisses and hugs!

Because of this, you are required to visit your daughters once a month so they continue to properly care for their hive.

There are some hives that are old and outdated, that don’t accept new bees in and only mate with each other. They’re seen as immoral, and ostracized from the meetings of all the local hives.

Most of the bees there are sickly and don’t live for very long. Their queen is selfish, and your hive has taken in a few escapees. They usually still don’t live for very long, but the doctors and medical staff try their best to comfort them and keep them comfortable for the rest of their days.

Your hive is one of the kinder ones. You accept any newcomers and treat them as your own. After quarantine they’re free to join the hive and work and breed like any other bee hybrid would.

Also for future reference, I don’t write incest. It’s in my request info.

[dragonsholygrail]

The Mist Switch

Male Fairy x Elf fem!reader— aphrodisiac mist, dub con, nipple play, bondage (vines), clit play, tentacle penetration (vines again), voyeurism

As Elves, neither you nor your elf friend you were secretly crushing on knew just how long your prank war had been going on for. You had started it, of course, after chickening out of your attempt to kiss him and instead pushed his face into a pie.

Ever since then you two had been pranking each other every now and then whenever the mood strikes. The last prank was done by you when you put meat in his trousers and got a beast to chase him around for a bit.

Now was his time to prank you back. He had it all planned. He hired a little fairy to spray you with a magical mist that for 24 hours would turn you into the size of a fairy. Oh he’d torture you until you cracked and finally confessed your love for him.

Could he just admit he loved you too? Yes. Would he? Not when this option was so much more fun.

The little fairy flew and flew until he found you frolicking in a nearby meadow. You looked so beautiful, your soft curves glimmering in the sunlight. As he flew closer he couldn’t stop himself from imagining the way he’d suck on your hard nipples, bringing you to release from that one touch alone. Before he’d move down and stuff his face against your entrance just so he can taste how sweet you are straight from the source.

His mind was hazy with lust as he reaches you, his eyes unfocused on anything beside your gorgeous plump body. Blindly reaching into his bag of magic he sprays some mist in your face at the same time you spot him.

“What just happened?!” You ask in alarm, looking at the unknown fairy who’s staring at you like he wants to devour you.

A warm buzz begins to flood through your body. Making you tingly and aroused. Your eyes widen as you rub your thighs together for some friction. Your pussy gushing with arousal.

“W-what did you do? Who are you?” You ask breathlessly, wanting nothing more than to take this strange fairy suffocate him with your pussy.

The fairy looks at you in shock over your reaction, having no idea what went wrong. You’re not shrinking at all! He looks down at his hand and only now notices he sprayed you with the aphrodisiac mist instead of the shrinking mist! His cheeks burn red from embarrassment.

“I-I was hired to prank you with a shrinking mist but it seems as though they got mixed up,” he explains bashfully, showing you the bottle.

You internally curse your friend for hiring such a dumb fairy but also god do you wish he was here to take care of you. Your eyes fall back on the fairy… the incredibly sexy fairy. Fuck, you just needed something to ease the fire burning hot inside you and soaking your panties.

“Well you caused this so you need to take care of it. Now!” You say with a huff.

You lay in the bed of flowers, throwing your robes off recklessly. Not caring about anything other than this fairy getting you off. The fairy looks down at you in awe, all his recent fantasies coming true. He wonders if he subconsciously did this on purpose just so he could fuck you, but he wouldn’t think about that right now. Not when you need him so badly.

The fairy’s wings flutter and he’s flying down on top of you before you can change your mind. Not that you would with your need so unbearable. He lands on your soft belly and he could just melt into you, your skin is so warm and lovely. You hiss the moment he touches you, you’re so sensitive you could cum just from his little body grinding onto you.

Using his strength he picks up your breast and opens his mouth wide to suck on your hard nipples just as he imagined. You moan loudly, hips jerking in the air. The little fairy holds on tight and sucks greedily on the bud, basking in the way you writhe against the grass.

“P-please! I need more,” you beg, your mind lost to the lust that rages through you.

The fairy releases your nipple with a loud pop. He flies down to your glistening cunt, your folds all lovely and wet and waiting for him. His cock tents in his small pants, getting harder and harder the longer he touches you. Using his body he spreads your fat lips and you moan, trying to rock closer to him. He cries out, holding onto you so he doesn’t fall off.

With a bit of his own magic he commands vines close by to wrap around your arms and legs, tying you firmly you to the ground. You gasp and squirm against them, their rough caress only turning you on even more.

The fairy pulls down his pants and lines his aching cock up against your clit. He grinds into you and you both release long ragged moans. His own mind begins to cloud over and all he can focus on is giving you both the pleasure you need so bad.

Your body twitches and shakes with deep pressure of the fairy’s cock rubbing your clit so nicely. You can feel his hips snap against your core, short grunts leave you every time his balls slap against your over sensitive clit. The vines stopping you from moving with him or moving away from the unrelenting pleasure.

Yet you still have a deep rooted need to be filled to the brim and you throw your head back, the fire inside you only getting hotter without your release. Sensing what you need, the fairy uses more of his magic and a second later you jump as long thick vines slide deep inside your hot wet cunt.

The fairy and his vines work in tandem to bring you higher and higher. The fairy digs his fingers into your wide waist and ruts into you like a madman, wildly desperate to feel you come undone because of him. All while his vines plunge deep into your depths, brushing along your gummy walls and hitting you just right.

You cum with a fierce scream that echoes throughout the meadow. The fairy releases soon after you, his hot cum jolting outward and spraying all over your delicious belly.

The fairy sags against you, completely spent. The two of you lay there, your limbs still tied to the ground as you both shake with the force of your release. You can feel the heat inside you start to settle a little yet it’s still there, just waiting to ignite.

The sudden sound of a branch snapping in the distance has your head jerking up in surprise. You come face-to-face with your elf friend, a smug smirk on his lips. He crosses his arms and leans against a nearby tree. Looking up and down your plump form you can see his own eyes cloud over with lust.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” He asks, pushing off the tree and heading toward you both.

[slightly-knot-insane]

Monster boyfriend that is all stoic and emotionless in front of other people and beasts. He appears aloof, stern, untouchable, back straight like an arrow and eyes cold and sharp like glaciers. Only you can feel his light touches on the small of your back to direct you to a safer path. He checks on you whenever he can, his eyes scanning you meticulously - and sending you a glint of a smirk because he likes what he sees. He is always there, never far, deterring anyone who even dares to look at you for too long with a menacing growl. And then, when you're alone, he falls on his knees so that he can look directly into your eyes, caressing your body, his eyes melting into warm and endless pools of love and affection. He kisses you, holds you and snuggles with you whenever you're alone. He whispers gentle words, promises and adorations, cupping your cheeks like a most precious flower, uttering your name like a prayer.

[sadbenedict]

I didnt forget about this au XDD

eh poor sukuna and evil EVIL suguru ((( + for the first time might not feel like a big beefy man since Sukuna is taller than he XD

[tsuutarr]

Could you make a yandere farmer?

(THIS CONCEPT...... YES!!! I immediately thought of a yandere!farmer that also so happens to be a cow/bull hybrid hehe there's just something about someone who seems so bright and cheerful and helpful but is actually yandere)

“Hey there, neighbor!”

The last thing you expected when you began moving into your new house in the countryside iss the bright greeting of your friendly bullboy neighbor, but you can’t say you’re displeased. You give him a response that makes his mouth stretch into a pretty smile.

“It’s great to meet ya! We don’t get many new folks ‘round here.” He looks at the boxes by your feet curiously. “Can I help ya?”

You try to reject his offer, but his movements are quick and powerful. Before you know it, he’s helping you haul your heavy boxes into your home with ease. His help makes the move go by so much faster that it really, really makes you grateful.

When you try to offer him something to drink as thanks, he waves it off with a warm laugh. “Don’t mention it, cutie,” he says, “I’m always happy to help a neighbor in need.” For a brief moment, he looks contemplative, before he shakes his head. “Yer welcome to reach out whenever ya need me.”

With that, he waves goodbye to you, leaving you with happy feelings and unaware of the small cameras and mics he’s hidden in your home.

Since then, he keeps helping you, giving you eggs and produce from his farm. Whenever you’re in trouble, he’s there immediately, too. When your tires got punctured, when your lights went out, when your pipes clogged – he was there. You’re filled with so much gratitude that you don’t notice that none of your troubles are naturally occurring.

One day, while he’s helping you fix your stove, he says, “By the way, there’ve been reports of some wild animals running amok ‘round here.”

You gulp. Wild animals? What kind? Rabbit? Deer? Or… bears? Something worse?

“Don’t ya worry ‘bout a thing,” he continues, gently patting the stovetop once he’s done fixing it. “You’ve got my number and I’ve got a mean aim.” With a small smile, he makes a gun motion with his hand. “So don’t be scared to call me, okay?”

You nod, though you still feel a little terrified.

That very night, you’re awakened by loud noises outside of your house. Fear clutches your heart and you wonder if you locked your doors and windows, but are too scared to check. With trembling lips, you pull your blanket tighter over yourself, pressing yourself into your bed as you take a quick glance outside your bedside window. A black figure with glowing eyes and horns looks back at you, making you scream.

Before you know it, you’re wrapped in strong, warm arms as a kind voice rumbles in your ear. “It’ll be okay, sugar,” your kind farmer neighbor coos. “I’ve got ya.” 

Too caught up in the moment, you snuggle into him without questioning how he got into your house or how he was by your side so quickly. Nor do you recognize how eerily similar his horns look to the ones you saw on that black figure outside.

[333sturns]

bf!matt x gf!reader

M’LOVE

you came home after a rough day of work so matt cuddles with you to cheer you up

no warnings! pure fluff :)

you unlocked the door to your house and instantly took of your shoes . you then set down your bag and keys onto the kitchen counter. you ran your fingers through your hair and relaxed to the final calmness of your house.

“matt baby, im home.” you called out. sitting yourself down onto a nearby seat and sighing. matts footsteps quickly grew louder until you were met with his gentle touch from behind.

he wrapped his arms around your neck gently and softly planted kisses along your neck. “hi m’love, how was work?” his soothing voice brushed against your ear making your smile grow by the second, looking over at him with a shrug.

“it wasn’t the best but, here i am.” you mumble.

matt cooed softly against your ear, capturing your fingers in his. he used his thumb to rub gentle circles along your hand to relax you some more. making you feel safe with his touch.

“mm, why don’t i run you a bath and we can relax in our room?” matt said, planting a soft kiss on your cheek. you fluttered your eyes closed while leaning into his soft touch. giving him a simple nod and a soft ‘yes’.

after finishing about half an hour later you changed yourself into one of matts hoodies and a pair of pajama shorts. walking into his room with a messy bun and a smile plastered on your face.

the lights were dimmed low, the lamp was turned on next to the bed, and matt had his back against the headboard. he removed his arms from the back of his head and signaled you to come over.

“you look adorable. come sit baby.”

as soon as you layed on top of matt, you felt the relaxation rush through your body. the warmness of matts chest against yours soothing your nerves. he ran one of his hands along your arm and the other through your hair.

“this feels nice.” you whisper. running circles along his collarbone with a sigh. matt pulled the covers to cover the both of your lowerhalfs. the warmth of his chest and the blanket making you sleepy.

“yeah?”

you felt your eyes close, not even realizing that matt had been asking all about your day. the coziness of the bedsheets causing you to drift off a bit. “you awake baby?” matt questioned. realizing that you hadn’t answered any if his questions.

no response.

matt leaned over a bit to look over at your face and realized you had drifted off to sleep. the way your face was now relaxed and the sounds of your soft breathing was heartwarming. he continued to gently run his fingers through your hair as you kept on sleeping. letting out a deep sigh of his own before carefully turning off the lamp next to him. trying his best not to wake you up.

“goodnight m’love.”

©333sturns

[davinawritings]

Could u do a bunny girl or nb with a bear guy ? <3

Hello! Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy 💕

Pairing: Male Hybrid Bear x Fem Bunny Hybrid

Warnings: Sex, Creampie, predator/prey, oral (fem receiving)

💕💕💕💕

Foraging in the forest was an almost daily occurrence for you. You enjoyed walking through the trees and usually found it very peaceful. You are especially grateful for the beautiful weather right now. The temperature has finally warmed after a long and harsh winter.

You probably should have been more cautious as bunny hybrids have many natural predators, but you have never had any problems in the past. The woods near your small burrow are pretty isolated, not many creatures come to this area. Not paying attention to your surroundings was your first mistake.

You are already far from your home when you register the feeling of being followed. You get ready to make a quick escape, a bunnies speed being its greatest asset when it comes to predators. Unfortunately before you can take a single step, a large claw wraps around your stomach and pulls you harshly against a large hairy chest.

You freeze in fear and the chest behind you rumbles in quiet laughter. “Don’t worry little bunny. I am not going to eat you. Although that was my original intention I have other needs I think you are more suited for. I’ve had a long sleep for winter and a perfect little bunny like you is just what my cock needs right now”.

Struggling proves to be futile when the bear hybrid lifts you easily with one arm, tearing your dress from your body with the other. He turns you to face him and your eyes look up and up and up. Everything about him seems massive. His height, his muscles, his large hands and claws, his cock that hangs heavy between his thick thighs.

He walks you over to a tree and lifts you so your thighs rest on his shoulders. He pushes you against the tree and the bark scratches at your back. His snout pushes against your clit as he buries his large tongue in your cunt. He eats you like a starved animal and in a way he is.

He moans almost as much as you do as he continues to devour you. Your hips move as you try and press harder against his face. His snout is teasing your clit relentlessly and you dig your hands into his fur at the slurping noises coming from him.

Just as you feel yourself about to explode on his tongue, he pulls his tongue from your pussy. You let out a frustrated huff and try to thrust your hips upon his snout harder, needing the orgasm he so rudely took away.

He laughs and gives your slit a long lick before bringing your legs off his shoulders. He slides your body down his own until your opening is sitting above his large cock. Your legs wrap around his thick waist and his cock slowly sinks inside you.

You both let out a groan of relief and you immediately use your hold on him to begin bouncing up and down on his cock. You speed up quickly, chasing the release he tore away from you.

He grips your hips and his claws dig into your love handles but you don't care. One of his hands moves to the tree, his claws cut through the bark as he says, “Fuck bunny. I need you to slow down. I ca-can’t… fuck… I haven't had pussy for months and I’ve never had a tight bunny pussy before. I nee-need a minute”.

You smirk at him but don’t slow the drop of your hips, the feeling of his cock slamming into your special spot too good to stop. He growls and shoves your back into the tree once more snapping his hips into yours without restraint, his only focus is his own pleasure.

The feeling of his large chest closing you in on the tree should be frightening but you only find it hot and comforting. His cock slams into you hard and you cry out in relief at your orgasm crashing over you. He only lasts one more thrust before he cums with a loud growl, pumping you full of his seed.

He moves you in his arms so he holds you bridal style and begins to walk back through the forest. At your questioning gaze he says. “I have no intentions of letting you go bunny. That's the best pussy I’ve ever had and for all we know you could be carrying my cubs. I’m bringing you home and fucking you all over again. Well first I'm going to go out and hunt. Wouldn’t want to accidentally eat my bunny”. He gives you a smirk and you can't tell if he’s joking or not.

Honestly as long as you get to ride him again, you can’t find it within yourself to care.

❤️🖤💕💕🖤❤️ Let me know what you think! ❤️🖤💕💕🖤❤️

[monstersflashlight]

do you have anything about some sort of reptile-based monster that involves hemipenes? i think it’s a very cool way to do double penetration with only one top

A/N: First part of this was one of the stories in the 10k followers event (find it here). Enjoy!

Lizard-brain: the research

Lizardman x fem!reader || double penetration, hemi-peens, tail play, light choking, exhibitionism, dirty talk (low key)

When he pulled out, you felt your holes twitching at the same time a mechanical voice said from the speakers: “You did well, researcher, very interesting data was recorded.” Shit, you forgot there were people watching and probably saw you get fucked within an inch of your life. All your coworkers just watched you getting double creampied by a giant lizard-man. Great.

You were allowed to go home after that, your boss telling you to go clean yourself and the next day you could go over the data with them. Your lizard mate wasn’t happy about it, but he complied knowing he could see you the next day. You felt many emotions when you left the place, not ready to name any of them, you only showered and went to sleep, your body sore in the best way possible.

You arrived to the facility next day, and the first thing your boss said was: “We need you to do it again,” you looked at them confused, what the fuck did they mean.

“What?” You asked, looking at the monitors in the wall to try catch a sight of your mate.

He explained some of the data they collected, but how it was still very early in the research to know for sure, that’s why they said: “We need more data, and you are his mate after all.” You looked at him with understanding, your scientific brain already working all the possible conclusions of all the data collected so far and how much more you could know if you kept it. But also...

“I need to talk to him about this,” you told them. You had feelings for a big monster, and he considered you his mate, there was a lot of possible ethical problems there.

“Oh yes, it talks. True.” They said, but like it didn’t matter at all.

That infuriated you, but you swallowed your complaints, trying to understand why you felt so protective over him. And then it clicked, mate bonds weren’t only one way, he felt the mate bond, but you felt it back. You cemented your bond with sex and now you felt tied to him the same way he was tied to you. That realization should have scared you, but only made your stomach flip with butterflies. You had a mate. And that came with a new goal in mind: demonstrate that lizard-people could go outside and live like equals to humans. That started with proving your mate bond was true and necessary, scientifically. And if that meant to be fucked in front of some researcher, so be it.

The talk with your mate went as well as expected. He was more than okay with the idea of fucking you again, but not so keen on the idea of other people being there. But the head researcher insisted it was important for somebody to be in the room with you to catalog fine movements and reactions that cameras couldn’t capture. You agreed with them on that, that’s the only reason you accepted (nothing to do with the fact that you might or might not have a bit of an exhibitionist kink).

And that’s why you were naked over a medical bed with your lizard-man mate over your body and a researcher standing a few meters away. Your pussy was already wet, needy and desperate to be filled to the brim again. Your lizard mate was looking at you intensely, caressing your body with one hand as he jerked his upper dick with the other. You knew this position meant big dick downstairs, and you were already anticipating the stretch.

He approached you and rubbed his small upper dick against your entrance. “Good job, keep going,” the researcher instructed. “Touch her pussy.”

Your lizard stopped and turned to look at them. “Don’t tell me what to do with my mate,” he growled, making the researcher step back and cover their mouth. “You are here because she wanted it, but I will kill you if you say more,” the danger in his tone indicated he wasn’t kidding. And it made your clit tingle.

You reached up to touch his face and redirect his attention to you, rolling your hips to feel his dick against your needy pussy. He pushed his dick slowly, breathing hard over you, his eyes never leaving yours. You could hear his tail thrashing behind him as you caressed his head with your short nails. He purred, making you giggle as he pushed his upper dick a bit further inside your pussy. The groan he got in response made him chuckle as you felt his claws probing your asshole.

“Are you going to be a good mate today, too?” His question was filled with hope, and you could only nod, trusting him and his magic precum to make it possible. Seeing as you woke up without any pain, you guessed the magic was more than great and would help you out this time around, too. “Such a good mate for me, your holes are so perfect,” he was talking to you but not really. He seemed far away, like your pussy was transporting him into another dimension.

He started rubbing his big dick against your asshole, and you instantly felt the calmness and relaxation of his precum, allowing him to push the tip inside. You cried out, way too big. There was no pain, but the stretch was noticeable as he kept going, and going, and going… By the time he was fully inside you were breathing hard and he had crazed eyes. It was intoxicating.

“How is he doing that?” The researcher asked out loud, stepping a bit closer and earning themselves a warning growl.

“Ssssshut up!” Your lizard mate hissed in their direction, his pace fluttering at the distraction.

“But I-” The researcher tried again.

You looked over at them, trying to move your hips to get your mate to move again. “I will fill a report later,” you told them between pants.

“But I-,” they insisted.

It was enough. “SHUT UP!” You yelled at them as your lizard man stopped moving completely to glare at you, surprised. “Shut the fuck up and I will answer the questions, but you won’t be able to get any responses if you don’t shut up and let my mate fuck me senseless,” you let out between your teeth.

Said mate liked your outburst very much, soon grabbing your face forcefully to look at you. He started fucking you with intent then, the combination of his dicks inside of you driving you insane in a matter of seconds. He reached you neck and squeezed, feeling the vibrations of your moans against his hand and increasing his thrusts to make you lose your mind.

You felt something different this time, the tip of his scaled tail reaching around his body to rub against your clit. The textured surface made you see stars and the universe as he played with you in every way, taking your pleasure to the next level. It was exhilarating, your mouth open and your head thrown back as he fucked you like a machine.

He lowered his body, whispering against your ear: “Come for me, my mate, let me feel your holes milking me.” And like a good girl, you exploded into a million pieces as he growled over you and painted your insides with his cum.

This time around he didn’t stop, though. He kept fucking you for what felt like hours, probably were. You forgot everything about research and people watching, you forgot everything about your boss and the world. You could only focus on his dicks inside of you and his tail rubbing your clit until you came so many times that you had to ask for mercy, which he sweetly complied. He kissed your forehead and pulled out, leaving you messy and exhausted.

Once again you found yourself creampied in front of all your colleagues. Your job was suddenly a lot more interesting than two days ago.

[ozzgin]

Pss. Can we rent a monster to keeping us out depression? A safety net, they say? We sign with a list of tastes and activities that force us to interact with the world and they can use it as suggestion. Open possibilities for relationships.

Imagine keeping a monster as an emotional support pet.

You ring the service, explain the situation, and the next day they ship you some ghoulish, nightmare creature to keep you out of your misery. It takes care of you, joins you places, and frequently compliments you and offers you words of encouragement.

You show up at some party and someone asks with a trembling voice if the beast following you around is some sort of bodyguard. In reality, it occasionally whispers “you’re doing great” and cuddles you if you’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, or sad. “K-kind of”, you respond.

Bonus: you wonder out loud if you should continue the arrangement, feeling like a burden, or doubting the genuine intentions. The monster fidgets in a nervous panic, unsure how to tell you that it has been following you long before your call, and begged the service to send it as your emotional support. Without sounding creepy, that is. It just wanted to help, you see?

[Rent-A-Monster]

[meanwhile-at-the-cottage]

Today, just because they could, Aziraphale and Crowley slow-danced on the head of a pin. (Until this point, no theological man-hours had ever been spent debating how many angels and demons can simultaneously dance on the head of a pin but, provided the dance is romantic in nature, the answer is a straightforward two).

[heohl-art]

Can you ALL feel the love tonight?🤭🔥♥️

• Ineffable Bikers (n.7) •

I missed them. You all missed them.

So there they are♥️🤭