#they are being so cute and obtuse and your honor i love them

[erlie]

Prompt 10. Couch cuddles

Prompt 11. Laugh

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

So uh, it's @taznovembercelebration time yet again! I wanted to at least get one out so when i pulled Celebrity AU, i had a pretty perfect opening (because the au that lives in mine and Hali's head is constantly rotating like a chicken in my mind)

---

“So that neighbor guy.” Lup states, nary a preamble in the same square mile. She’s perched on the counter, supervising while Taako scrambles a half-dozen eggs. It’s entirely too early or perhaps too late for food, guess it just depends on your perspective. But, far be it from either of them to ever ask for someone else’s perspective.

“He’s certainly a neighbor,” Taako says. He’s not willing to take whatever bait it is that Lup’s dangling. He pokes at the eggs with a spatula and sprinkles a hefty pinch of salt on top, mixing as he goes. 

“He was remarkably kind, given how obnoxious the party was. And his pajamas were awfully cute.” 

Taako fakes a gasp. “Lup, I thought you’re with a very dashing Apple store employee! How quickly your eyes wander.” He hasn’t thought about whatshisname (Kravitz Queen in apartment 22F) since the party he so rudely intruded on. And then fell asleep at. Right at Taako’s own kitchen table. 

She groans and rolls her eyes. “Taako, you’re being purposefully obtuse.” 

“I’ve been told I’m quite acutie.” 

“Awful, I want a new brother.” 

“Sorry, no returns,” he says gleefully. He shuts the burner off and grabs two plates from the cupboard, evenly distributing the eggs across them. “Like. I dunno, Lup, what do you want me to say? He’s cute, sure, but I thought I wasn’t supposed to be pursuing new relationships right now.” That’s what all the doctors at Hollybrook suggested, anyway. He’d rolled his eyes when he first heard that, but as the months have progressed, it’s been a nice break. 

“I’m not saying you need to get married or anything, I’m just saying he’s cute and nice and a musician. Simply stating facts,” she says around a bite of scrambled eggs. “I’m supposed to be on set today, the director apparently has a bold new vision and needs some more cash to make it happen. You wanna come?”

He mulls it over for a moment. “Anyone cool? Last one you produced had that shitbag Jerre whatshisnuts and he was so smarmy at the premiere and I think if I ever saw him again I’d deck him.” 

“No Mr. Whatshisnuts, scout’s honor,” Lup says, giving him a faux-serious two-fingered salute. 

Taako snorts and rolls his eyes. “We were never scouts, goofus. But, nah. I’m going to sit this one out. Probably do some journaling and go to bed.” 

“Okay, call me if you need me. I’ll be back this afternoon, probably. Maybe we can get dinner tonight?” 

He nods. “Sounds good, be safe. Love you.”

“Love you!”

—

“—And rather than scripting this out, we feel that this sequence is going to be shown best through a kind of dream ballet scene that’ll last for about seven minutes,” The director excitedly explains to Lup. She’s trying hard to focus, she really is, but her phone seems intent on boring a hole through her leg. She sneaks a quick glance to see that she’s missed a fourth call from Lucretia. That’s never good.

“Hey, Todd, love this idea you’ve got going on. My publicist is like, blowing up my phone so let’s regroup in half an hour, okay? Okay!” She says as she extricates herself from the conversation. 

“Luce, what’s up?” Lup asks, just managing to catch this fifth call. 

“I thought Taako was off Twitter for now,” Lucretia says, sounding exasperated. 

“Uh. Well he was while he was in Hollybrook but you said it’d be cool for him to reconnect with the fans now.” 

“Remind me not to have any more stupid ideas.”

“Is it bad?” Lup hasn’t been on the damn app since the last premiere. She usually lets Lucretia handle her social media except for her Letterboxd. 

“Not bad just…thirsty?” 

Lup does her best not to laugh. Well. She makes some attempt to not laugh. “Thirsty?”

Lucretia sighs. “It started off fine, just him tweeting about this musician, but a few fan accounts started stirring the pot and. Well. I guess he’s ‘down horrendously for that kravitz guy’ as @taacocat69420 so eloquently put it.” 

“God he’s a mess,” she says fondly. “I think it’ll be fine though. Kravitz is cool. Hope this gets him some extra streams or something.” 

—

Kravitz stirs at eleven. He’s a little surprised that his alarm never went off, though a quick glance at his lockscreen lends some light to why. His notifications are atrocious. Good atrocious, it just looks like the whole internet threw up in them maybe. When he finally traces the source of why, he starts to get dressed. Best not to make another pajama clad impression. 

[scribblyshipping]

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

💌: How would your dynamic be portrayed? What might people focus on most? Any misconceptions?

For either pim or charlie

Thank you so much for the ask! I'm gonna do both :]

For reference so I don't have to keep specifying, my Smiling Friends s/i is named Scribbly!

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

Charlie: Only One Bed, I think it would be funny if there was at least one knight x princess au based on the quest episode, fake dating turned Real Dating, slowburn but not in the obtuse way in the "Charlie cannot realize Scribbly is madly in love with him too" way, there would probably be a subset of people making them really unhealthy

Pim: The sappiest stuff ever imaginable, at least one fic where someone puts Scribbly in the place of "Shrimpina" in that fantasy Pim has, various Disney aus, and then maybe some angst fics thrown in there due to Scribbly's sad demeanor and their conflicting views on what the perfect future together is.

I haven't really delved into the world of SF fanfiction yet so I don't know if these would be accurate to the fandom, I just based the ideas on common tropes seen in fandom in general.

💌: How would your dynamic be portrayed? What might people focus on most? Any misconceptions?

Charlie: I think people would kinda zero in on Charlie being Kinda Shit so we would end up with a lot of content of Scribbly being a submissive gf in a one-sided relationship. Which is a huge misconception Charlie loves her very much.

Pim: Like I said in the first part of the post, I think people would make them really sappy and happy and cute- which is real and true. However, I worry abt people mischaracterizing Pim. I already see it in a bit of fanfic I've read (since starting this post. it took multiple days to do this) He's very optimistic and positive, like I cant deny he has the whimsy, but people tend to make him act more childish. He's 33. Treat him with respect.

Off the top of my head, I can't really think of anything negative people would handle with the ship overall, just with how some would write Pim.

Despite everything, I would honored if someone wrote a fanfic for me. Manifesting rn...

Original Ask Game

Send more asks!

Hopefully I'll be able to respond quicker.

[theghostiedyke]

@fvckyouimaprophet tagged me in a 10 characters from 10 fandoms/media tag meme: and I'll specify if i relate to them or just enjoy seeing how fucked up they are lmao.

Legend of Zelda - Zelda from botw; oof the feeling like a failure despite working so hard i love her n relate to her

Vanitas no Carte - Dominique; young her desperate to mimic her recently deceased twin brother in order to get the love she craved from the only other nurturing person around her??? And for him to tell her she was enough?? So that as an adult she can be all cute and blushy around Jeanne??? You're honor they're in lesbians

D. Gray Man - Allen Walker: there's so kuch to unpack here. Which allen is the true allen. Contrasting personalities. Trauma leading to catatonia leading to a created personality based on his perception after the death of a father figure.

Teen Wolf - Scott McCall / Derek Hale: can't pick between the two they are both very good candidates for analyzing lycanthropy as a metaphor for trauma. Also in my brain Derek is a csa survivor btw. That is how i first interpreted his story arc.

Avatar: The Legend of Korra - Korra: over confidence as a mask for insecurity? Over coming fears, growing some being loud and obtuse, to learning how to listen to other points of view? Teen me very much related to her and not just cause when it aired i was also 16 and brown.

Killing Eve - Villanelle: i love evil women!! She is unhinged!! She is sexy!! God forbid women do anything!! She should be allowed to murder, as a treat!

What We Do In The Shadows - Nadja: awful awful woman. Absolutely wretched. I love her. She fits in with the horrible cast of characters and is hilarious.

She Ra: Princesses of Power - Catra: and we are back to trauma babey and recovering from abuse despite little support in the beginning and not knowing how to recognize or trust the support that was offered. She is mistakes on top of mistakes on top of more mistakes we love to see it. And she gets her happy ending despite struggling so much.

Shut Up! Flower Boy Band - Ji Hyuk: i just love a story about classism and doing things out of love for your friends/found family. Being misunderstood and assumed to be violent or unreliable. Making sacrifices for others. Loving deeply but not having the language to express it.

Black Swan - Nina / Jennifer's Body - Jennifer / Ginger Snaps - Ginger: if this list hasn't indicated that i love unhinged women getting more and more fucked up then idk what will. Love the spiral into losing themselves. Nina's desperate attempts at perfection and her controlling mother smothering her. Jennifer and her complete disregard for literally anyone except Needy not being obsessed with her. Ginger both pushing Bridgette away but demanding that the two of them stay co dependent.

I know i like just posted a tag meme but i forgot this was chilling in my drafts half written so:

@molsno @sirdorkalot @willowthewisp27 @mothghhost @onequeerruffian

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

April 2021 Part 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Close Friend Ep 2 (JaFirst) - First is a cat. No actually a cat. It was WEIRD. Cute, but creeping towards beastiality. It reminded me of that strange series out of China (@heretherebedork says Youth in the Breeze). The most amusing thing to me was that the cat used Thai formal linguistic register when of course cats would use informal rude guu mueng with EVERYONE. No cat would use pom. Don’t be ridiculous, Thailand. 

Second Chance Ep 5 - still invested, things progressed for all 3 couples, in one direction or another. They cuties. I love them. Carry on. 

Y-Destiny Ep 5 - the “virgin scoreboard” is gonna make the seme real hard to redeem with this pairing. If they bother. This might be a life lesson episode. What does it remind me of? Oh yes. Kids. *SHUDDER* Point of interest: did you notice Team uses ha with Mon? What a pushy flirt. 

Lovely Writer Ep 10 - honestly I just love it when Poppy shows up in anything, why is he such a delightful screen presence? (Gene’s brother) Sorry, distracted. What happened in this one? Oh, ya know, stuff and things. Family drama. (It is just me or have they been giving us some long ass episodes lately?) Obligatory beach trip activated. (Result = dumb probability mathematics jokes.) Next week it looks like we have Keeping Actor’s Closeted 101. You know the Casting Couch? This is the Casting Closet. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 4 - early stage confession, how fun. It’s not unprecedented it just usually means we are in 4 act structure, not 3, which means Fish might go more serious than I thought. Honestly? I’m losing interest mostly because I’ve gone from mild annoyance to active dislike of Pi. Happened to me with Tine too. They better redeem this obtuse tsundere uke soon or he’s not tsundere at all he’s just a jackwit. 

Brothers Ep 13 fin - a kiss and the family finds out about the not-so-brotherly brothers, drama, graduation, THE END. My side-dish happy heart made thumps over Q + delivery boy, I’m sad they got so little screen time. My babies KhunKaow did get a tiny coming out sequence as such. I’m seriously considering doing myself a bootleg of just the KhunKaow plot, but that means I’d have to rewatch the whole darn series and I can’t STAND the idea. Which should give you insight into how not good this show it. Very NOT good. Must we get a season 2? Please stop now, Line. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 7 - Muren is the cutest peanut and anyone who says otherwise can fight me, although they probably have to go through Licheng first. I was NOT invested in these two at the beginning, but as a couple? They own my soul. The other storyline is still the dumpster fire that I can’t decide to roast marshmallows over (knowing they’ll get tinged with eu de trash) or flee from in horror clutching my pearls and my nose. H4 continues to provide the quality psyche torture I’ve come to expect from this franchise. *sarcastic thumbs up*  *** A word on seeing Boxiang show up (side dish from H3:MODC). It was an unexpected pleasure, I loved his pairing (May/December is a winner for me *glares at Method*) but I do think it was a bone from the franchise telling us that we are never getting that spin-off or reboot that people yearn for. However, how AWESOME that Licheng has someone to go to and ask about topping properly. Otherwise he’s sure to have screwed it up. (Pun intended.) 

Papa & Daddy (Tailwan) Ep 1-2 - this came out of nowhere and is ADORABLE. Applies a ton of BL tropes (cheek kiss, his closet, B&W stripes, drag baby around, boop) but what IS it? More slice of gay domesticity than romance. Like 2019′s Kinou Nani Tabeta? or currently airing Close Friend. I enjoy this style, very wholesome, but I’m not sure what to call it. (Bonus points for cutie lesbians.) A bit weird to have a kid with your partner and STILL not be out to your parents. I hope they aren’t going to throw in a break up for dramatic effect. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 4 - I’m really enjoying this series. It’s unabashedly queer, although there’s some problematic stuff lurking under the wig. How it ends is gonna dictate if they handled this stylishly. But hot damn the leads ZING on screen together and their crackling prank-flirting is a joy to watch. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 31-33 - moving into the home stretch. Big rescue and the band is back together (presumably for the final slaughter). Then a death! *this is my shocked face* Did I tear up? Of course I did. 4 act structure is designed for maximum pathos during the final 1/4. Did we all faint from the symbolism of the love token hair stick being gently thrust into Ah Xu’s bun? Sure we did. All that and sill I’m flagging. This is a long-arse show. Save me, Korea, with your iItsy bitsy teenie weenie...

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 5-6 - I am getting such strong 12th Night vibes from this. Tae Hyung is now brigadier of BL’s historical himbo brigade. (To be deployed whenever you are in need of poetry or a cut sleeve.) This show is all ridiculous charm and I LOVE it. Although, five seconds of Lee Sang is not enough Lee Sang. I had to immediately rewatch Wish You. 

Gossip

Nitiman gave us an actor intro BTS teaser. 

Kang In Soo (AKA Kyang Insoo) posted a cute behind the photo shoot of Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding plus a silly interview with Jang Eui Soo on his YouTube channel (you should subscribe, it’s a fun channel, his fitness regime is both insane and inspiring). 

My Engineer 2 dropped a couch interview with the boys but it feels like one that was filmed a while ago (oh and no subs).  

STARTING SOON: Nitiman, Love Area, Top Secret Together, Be Loved in House, & I Promised You The Moon  

Nitiman (Thai) May 7, One 31. University set, moons, engineering students, enemies to lovers, adapted. - Looks to be a solid 2 Moons knock off, I’m in.

Love Area (Thai) May 8, AIS Play, 10 eps total. Restaurant set, stars Pak Chavitpong (the only good thing about Cupid Coach) and the OST is sung by Jeff Satur (Ingredients). - It’s boys in love revolving around food = my kryptonite, try to stop me from watching this probable trash. 

Top Secret Together (Thai) May 14, Line TV. 5 couples, one IRL (Newyear from I Am Your King), story arcs revolve around secrets.  - I’m getting fatigued by these multi-couple sampler pack dramas, but I’ll try it for Newyear’s sake.  

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan YES!) May 20, Viki. Office set, relationships prohibited at work by a new boss, one of the employees is determined to figure out why. Grumpy/tsundere pairing so loads of drama. - I am so flipping excited for this one. A 4th BL series from Taiwan in less than a year? That’s unprecedented. GO BABY ISLAND GO! 

I Promised You the Moon (Thai) May 27, Line TV. Follow up to I Told Sunset About You with the boys now at university. - I won’t be watching this as I have yet to finish season 1. 

Possibly Gameboys season 2.  - Rumors are all over the place right now on this. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[delicioussshame]

In the never ending series of “things that aren’t wips because I can’t, I have to finish something before starting something else”, have this thing I posted as a wip before, featuring a version of PIDW where LBH collected his harem... differently, with guest star NYY.

Luo Binghe immediately recognises the man dressed in cultivator garb as Yingying’s shizun.

Beautiful and serene, she said. The perfect image of an untouchable immortal, dressed in white and pale greens. Always holding a fan of exquisite manufacture.

But more than her vivid descriptions of her shizun’s loveliness, he remembers what she said next.

She’d been lying on her side, her long cascading hair not managing to hide her luscious curves.

Luo Binghe had known she wouldn’t be ready for another round just yet, and so had been pleased to listen to her lighthearted pillow talk.

Today’s topic had been her exasperation with her shizun’s lack of sex life.

“Sometimes I can’t believe how obtuse he is. Liu-shishu has been courting him for years, and I don’t think he ever noticed. And don’t get me started on the sect master! All Shizun would have to do is bat his eyelashes and the sect master would drop everything to worship him! But no, he never takes him on it. For a while I thought maybe Shizun just preferred women, but more than one female disciple has tried her hand at him, all to no avail.”

Luo Binghe could imagine the type. Cultivators could be lofty. They think they’re above the needs of the flesh.

He always enjoys teaching them how wrong they are.

If the demonic part of his heritage revels in desecrating those pompous righteous cultivators, no one else could tell. Luo Binghe was too good at his chosen hobby to let his personal feelings interfere.

“I love and respect Shizun more than anyone. Without him, I would never have become the kind of cultivator who can afford A-Luo’s company. So I am motivated by filial piety and nothing else when I say that I have never met anyone who needs to get laid more than Shen Qingqiu.”

Luo Binghe had laughed. “Oh? Is Yingying going to replace me with her old teacher?”

Her scandalised look had sent him into another bout of laughter. “A-Luo! I would never!”

“Then why is she telling me this? Does she want me to take care of him?”

Ning Yingying had stared at him, a glint in her eyes. Luo Binghe could see the plans form in her head as she spoke. “Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. It would do wonders for Shizun, and I know A-Luo loves breaking people like him.”

Luo Binghe had blinked, inwardly caught off-guard. He wasn’t blind. He knew Ning Yingying was a lot more observant than she appeared. It wasn’t the first time she had made that kind of comment. “Yingying knows me so well. Should I be worried?”

She had swapped at him. He could have easily evaded the blow, but he didn’t bother. “A-Luo doesn’t have anything to fear from me. But honestly, if I sent Shizun your way, would you take care of him? I really think he could benefit from it. And Shizun is very beautiful! Many will definitely be jealous if they ever find out.”

Luo Binghe had nothing against the idea of taking a peak lord to bed. He bet Xin Mo would love to feed on such high-quality cultivation. “I would be honored to entertain your teacher.”

He could tell from the way she had brightened he was about to be thoroughly thanked.

She had paid him too, both for herself and for her shizun’s future visit. Generously enough that Luo Binghe had wondered if he should praise her filial piety to her shizun.

She didn’t lie either. Shen Qingqiu really is exquisite.

Not as handsome as Luo Binghe himself, but nobody is. “You must be Shen Qingqiu.”

“Luo Binghe, I presume.” Luo Binghe cannot quite decipher the look he’s being given, which is rare enough to catch his attention. He’s pretty certain there’s some attraction there, but the rest? Trepidation? Outright fear? Disdain? Excitement?

He’s sure he’s going to find out. He gestures for Shen Qingqiu to sit down as he moves to prepare tea. He could have one of his servants handle it, but Luo Binghe has always preferred taking care of things himself. That personal touch has seduced more than one client, if they didn’t visit him only for his food.

Shen Qingqiu drinks the offered tea in silence before he starts talking. “If you would please tell me your fee, I will be refunding Ning Yingying a corresponding amount. I am sorry for wasting your time, but I have no interest in procuring your services.”

Ooh, that’s cute. If Luo Binghe wasn’t an expert at perceiving the signs of physical attraction, he might even believe him. Shen Qingqiu is interested, he’s sure of it. He’s just a prude, like Yingying said. “Yingying won’t accept it. Why refuse her most thoughtful gift?”

“My disciple should put her money to better uses.”

“I assure you, employing me is money well spent. You could find that out yourself.”

Luo Binghe bites back his amusement as the man stumbles, obviously embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to imply you weren’t… a credit to your profession. Please don’t take it personally. As I said, I have no interest in finding out myself.”

“But how will it look if you were to leave without finding out? My reputation will be hurt.”

“How could something this insignificant hurt the reputation of such a famous courtesan?”

Luo Binghe grins. “So even renowned cultivators have heard of me? Nothing bad, I hope?” And where did an isolated scholar like him caught wind of such lowbrow rumours, huh?

The sigh he’s answered with does not cloak a hint of amusement. “How many of the sect’s disciples have you seduced? You even managed to steal away Liu-shidi’s little sister, whose beauty and virtu are known across the land. Of course I have heard of you. More than I would have liked, if I am allowed to be honest.”

Ah. He should probably have expected that. Cang Qiong is full of eager young men and women. Apparently, Shen Qingqiu isn’t such a recluse that gossip doesn’t reach him. “I see. Still, you must have heard good things, or you wouldn’t have come into my parlour.”

Red is a good look on the man. Luo Binghe feels the first stirrings of desire rise into him. He just knows Shen Qingqiu would be stunning, lying despoiled on those formerly pristine robes, trying to discover what he’s begging for more of.

Not to mention he can almost hear Xin Mo purr. What a feast Shen Qingqiu will be.

Time to press on.

Luo Binghe reaches for the now empty cup of tea he’s certain Shen Qingqiu drained without tasting, making sure to caress the fingers still holding it with a touch just light enough to possibly be accidental, if one were very dumb or very blind. “Let me serve you again,” he says as he pours more tea with deliberate grace.

Instead, Shen Qingqiu rises from the table. “Don’t bother! I am obviously wasting your valuable time. If you won’t share with me how much Ning Yingying paid you, I will compensate her otherwise.”

Like Luo Binghe is letting him leave like this. “Would you have me waste the tea already prepared?”

“Drink it yourself! Surely it’s nothing compared to your usual breaches of propriety.”

Damn it. Luo Binghe miscalculated. Shen Qingqiu is too spooked to be open to further advances. Really, what a prude, to be so destabilised by a simple brush of hands.

If he can take a step back and defuse the tension enough for him not to leave… “You seem in such a hurry. Do you think I force myself on my visitors? I’m hurt.” As if he ever needed to use force to have someone.

Well, never without their consent, at least.

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t seem like he’d be into that, but then again, people can surprise you.

“I’m not scared! I just have no reason to be here any longer. Thank you for your time. I’ll be leaving my student in your care.” For a moment, there’s a glower in his eyes that Luo Binghe wouldn’t mind seeing more of. “Be good to her, or my next visit will be far less pleasant.”

Aww. Shen Qingqiu cares! How cute. “So I have to get a bit rough if I want to see you again?”

His outraged face almost makes him laugh. “Don’t you dare!”

“Or are you looking for an excuse for our paths to cross again? I assure you it’s unnecessary. I’d welcome you anytime.”

“I will keep that in mind,” says Shen Qingqiu absentmindedly, already crossing the door.

Luo Binghe lets him leave. Obviously, this will be going nowhere today.

Really, he’s offended. He cannot remember someone rejecting him so blatantly, ever. Worse, Xin Mo will be cranky. A treat was dangled in its metaphorical face, and then was cruelly taken away before it could have a taste.

He can’t let this humiliation stand.

He won’t have to. The delicate fan Shen Qingqiu came with, red spider lilies on a stark white background, is still on the table, forgotten in his haste to leave.

Luo Binghe’s customer service is impeccable. He’ll be returning the abandoned item himself.

It’s not like finding the peak lord of Qing Jing will be a challenge.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Chapter Two: Nine Tribes" in the Bastet breedbook from "Werewolf: The Apocalypse" Part One of Two

You look awful. What happened?

Someone turned my home inside out.

You’re such a pretty kitten, too. I don’t see kittens like you every day. I wonder why.

You don’t see kittens like me every day. When I get done with you, you won’t see anything... anyday.

Maybe it went into the air and never came down. Maybe it went into the ground and never came back up. Maybe someday it’ll show up.

Maybe someday they’ll be back. Personally, I doubt it.

What can be said about a race of individuals?

Does it puzzle you that our natures should be twofold, threefold, yet one?

Do you wonder why the gods, who have decreed a place for each thing, have offered us so many places in one?

I tell you a truth. It is but one of many, but it will serve.

The people kept to themselves, and they respected the land.

Hunters crept into the forests to skin the cats for their beautiful coats, and cats raced through the villages, bearing off children to eat in the night.

Days and nights rang with screams.

When the monsoons came, they carried rivers of blood to the seas.

She was spirited and strong, yet disobedient.

Our lands are cursed!

The serpents’ name is judgment, and they answer the dark calling inside each mortal secret.

Each mortal carries snake seeds inside.

You can do nothing.

I cannot leave my family this way!

It is not your place to change them, or to cleanse their sins.

I do not care about my place!

What can I do? This cannot continue!

If you would make peace, lay with them.

Take wild cats as mates?

Have you decided?

I am wisdom

I am anger

I have the wisdom to call the gods, the anger to fight, and the love to give myself for my people.

The monsoon howled and rain poured down.

We seek out the serpent of corruption and crush its head between our jaws.

She’s slow to rage, but when she does, nothing but total destruction will satisfy her.

They are wiser than their fury suggests.

Listen to them in good spirits and watch the visions they bring.

They bargained their souls away long ago, and cannot be trusted.

It’s said their kind is dead, but I am not certain.

Anything is possible.

It weakens them.

I cannot trust anyone so landless.

They believe they walk alone upon the earth, but they are wrong.

Wise liars and grand tricksters.

Long ago, I’ve heard, they were noble. Not now.

I’ve never spoken to one long enough to learn much, but I’ve heard they keep the sacred places safe.

That is enough to earn my respect.

We are the daughters and sons of the moon.

To anger the jaguar is to turn the jungle against you.

Woe to such a man and his family, for they will slowly starve.

When the whites came, they brought their evil with them.

Vile spirits of disease and mania plagued the humans.

The world went dark.

Their anger was too great.

Many wanted revenge.

Blood must be paid with blood.

But it is just a reflection, nothing more.

What they don’t like, they attack, and they don’t like much.

This peace ended as human settlements and firms began cutting through the rain forests.

Take your demon filth and get out of my home.

Stay, and die.

You take life far too lightly, my friends.

I watch you from far away, but my eyes are too filled with tears for me to dance.

They weren’t strong enough to survive. I’ll drink to their honor, but their dust is not my problem.

Honored brothers, if you need me, I will come.

Where were you when we needed you?

Wandering a trail? How nice.

You’re no longer welcome, brother.

We all do what we must to survive.

If they find happiness in solitude, it is a pleasure I can understand.

Make no mistake; We are older than the pyramids. Older than the Pharaohs.

We were the first. All others are usurpers.

There were gods in those days. If they are gone, I will not weep. We have more freedom without their strictures, anyway.

When need be, we hunted them like rats, but overcome by curiosity, we soon allowed ourselves to become their friends.

Then too proud for our liking. They would have to be punished. And they were.

Great plagues fell upon them.

I will never say we ruled. Why should we rule?

Merely say that we received our due; food, shelter and secrets. Many secrets.

I must say we were impressed.

We defended them in the night.

Slain, or worse yet, turned into blooddrinking ghouls.

This was not, I should add, the worst outcome of the war.

I tell you this secret now, so you will understand our path; We committed sacrilege against ourselves.

You and I suffer today a curse our ancestors earned millennia ago.

There are some shadows that hide secrets too evil for consumption.

Black as midnight, yes?

This is the cost of those endless nights of spying.

We learned secrets that should have been left alone. Worse, we still hunger for them, even now.

Our race is all but vanished, but still we prevail.

One day, we will return to power.

Aside from these gruesome relics, the breed has been extinct for 2000 years.

These ghoulish beasts, now swollen to the size of panthers, live blind in filthy pens.

Occasionally, one might even be allowed to mate with it.

This insult has not gone unrewarded.

A bitter if one-sided war has crept quietly along for nearly 2000 years.

The vampires may receive an unpleasant surprise in the coming decades.

Surprisingly, they have never fled their homeland despite their setbacks and ancient enemies.

Perhaps it’s pride that keeps them rooted to Egyptian soil, or maybe it’s something more.

Some outsiders claim there’s a mystical connection between the tribe and their motherland.

Weird magical rites, including experiments with vampire blood and enchanted human “hosts,” have bred feline offspring from human mothers.

Horrifying tales of women giving birth to cats in Cairo delivery rooms attest that such experiments are occasionally. . . successful.

Only time will tell.

Better death than the serpent’s kiss.

If there’s a viper in your soul, purge it.

The road we walk is treacherous enough alone.

Noble, I’ll confess, but hopelessly rural. They favor their wild sides too much to be as enlightened as they would believe.

Savage, bloodthirsty monsters. How I would love to have one or two around for errands!

It’s said that their kind is extinct, but being “extinct” myself, I find that difficult to believe.

I’ve heard a great deal about them, but they keep to their land and I to mine.

Too obtuse for my tastes.

If their chattering held wisdom, I would gladly listen.

Obnoxious louts who deserve to be shaved. Some day soon, they will be. I’d be pleased to do the honors. Perhaps I shall.

They make lovely pets if you convince them they’re free.

Kid, we don’t just collect secrets, we are secrets.

There’s a lot of folks who’d put us in chains — real ones and magic ones — if they knew we were still breathing, so listen close while I tell you a fairy tale.

It’s important, kid, so shut up till I finish.

A long time ago, the world was a dream. No, I’m not being cute — it was. All our kind were dreamed into existence.

Have you ever seen a dream walking? Well, take a look in a mirror, kid.

Those cold folks needed some company.

Well, those cold hearts turned on us soon enough.

We can be a nasty folk when we set our minds to it, and those who danced with us set themselves apart.

Our secrets got out.

I doubt they did it under their own power.

But we did survive.

There was a price. There always is.

We stay underground. Way underground.

You remember what I said about our ties to passion?

So keep your head down, kid, and never say what you are.

As usual, the legends lie

Messages are hidden in lyrics and chord structures.

Come in with laughter, leave in tears and always keep ‘em guessing

The locals still lock their doors on that night, and no one dares to go a-spying.

She may return to her old ways eventually, but cannot settle into any role for long.

Elusive as they are, they love digging up dirt about others.

Such clothes allow them to be their flamboyant selves and get away with it.

Art is the expression of a dream. And dreams, my friend, are what we are at heart.

Oh, yeah, a lot of help they were when we were stuck.

Shut up, hothead.

At least you’ve still got your own name.

Oh, yes it is fun to play in the dark, but you have to come up for air eventually.

Brutal and mean.

I respect their courage, but lighten up, guys!

Wise. Very wise. When one speaks, listen up.

Damn thing outran my car.

Must be nice.

[ourownsideimagines]

They Say You Can’t Go Home Again, but I Found Home in You (Crowley x Fem!Angel-ish!Reader)

Characters: Crowley, Aziraphale, Fem!Angel-ishReader, Madam Tracy, Shadwell, Gate Soldier

Requested: Yes 

Requested by: @adela-topaz-caelon

Point of View: Third Person Reader

Summary: (Name) is an Angel who, while not fallen, was booted from Heaven. She and Crowley have been dancing around their feelings for each other, and Aziraphale decided that the start of the apocalypse is a good time to finally point it out.

Warnings: I may have cursed? Otherwise, just the usual minimal editing.

Words: 1669

A/N: This is done in one large part, then a small little drabble kind of thing. 

—-

By standard terms, (name) was not an Angel. Not anymore, at least. She had not fallen after the “Great War”, but quickly found that she did not belong - if threats from Michael and Gabriel weren’t enough to get the point across, being thrown out by Sandalphon and Uriel definitely was. 

(Name) had fallen, just not in the most traditional way.

A fallen angel, though, was a fallen angel in Heaven’s opinion. She would no longer be allowed into Paradise, not that she much minded. She had her Heavenly-issued body and the ability to create miracles. What more could she need?

After a few hundred or so years she came to one conclusion. Friends, she decided. She needed friends.

So she sought out the only being she thought might be even the slightest bit kind to her - the Principality and (former) Angel of the Eastern Gate, Aziraphale. He’d been living on Earth for years, and sure, maybe he knew about her ‘fall’, but there was a part of her deep down that prayed to whoever might be listening that he wouldn’t care.

It was just after the flood, and Noah sailing his arc that (name) went looking for him.

And hundreds of years later, the two were closer than close could be. And, of course, being friends with Aziraphale ultimately meant becoming friends with a certain yellow-eyed demon. (Name) was surprised to say the least when she’d first learned of the friendship, though seeing as Aziraphale was affiliating with her she couldn’t for the life of her think why he wouldn’t befriend an actual demon.

At first, she and Crowley got along as well as two fallen angels could (though he sometimes refused to refer to her as such, since she was simply booted while he had to burn the whole way down). They clashed on various occasions, snarky remarks were swapped, and looks were taken in secret.

(Name) would be lying if she said she wasn’t attracted to Crowley. There was just something about his cocky personality that drew her in. And those eyes. Those eyes could kill her and she would thank them.

Of course, (name) would never admit this out loud. There was no way she’d ever admit to actually liking Crowley - at least, not yet.

As the impending end of the earth advanced, she found herself sticking around the angel and the demon more often. She’d accompanied them to care for Warlock, posing as the new house cleaner. She kept an eye on both Aziraphale and Crowley, acting as a buffer for anything too brash. She would comfort Warlock when the two became too much for him, telling him they were just ‘old, silly fools’, then offering to sneak him into the kitchen to steal some cookies. (Name) didn’t have a side, as far as she was concerned (unless, of course, she was counting the side she, Crowley, and Aziraphale had unofficially made). She saw no wrong in contradicting either of their doings.

Crowley, or Astaroth, as she’d been going by had been rather upset about this. She didn’t want the plan to be messed up, but after that time she’d caught (name) reading to Warlock in the middle of the afternoon until he began to nap she said nothing more on the situation.

(Name) had liked Crowley’s longer hair. She was disappointed when he decided that, when he was no longer Nanny Astaroth, that he would cut it short. More masculine. Not that he looked bad - no, far from it. She just wondered, silently to herself, how nice it would have been to be able to braid it.

Perhaps, if they truly stopped armegeddon, he would grow it back out and allow her to-

No, no. She shouldn’t be thinking about that. There were much more pressing issues, such as trying to figure out her way over the hellfire that had taken over the M25. (name) had gotten a call not ten minutes ago from Crowley, telling her to get to Tadfield’s air base. 

Had (name) been told from the beginning that this is where she would end up, she would have laughed and asked ‘in how many years?’ before going off to perform another miracle (almost 6000 years, would have been the answer, not that she would have expected one).

The rain was beginning to come down hard, and in the distance she could hear police sirens. She needed to get over the fire wall, and she needed to do it now. If her watch was right, she didn’t have nearly as much time as she hoped she would.

Knowing she had only one choice, since she would not survive driving through it, (name) focused on one thing and one thing only - her wings.

It had been centuries since she’d stretched them out, and the sound of her jacket ripping made her wince. She could miracle it back together later, but the sound was unpleasant all the same. When they’d finally finished breaking free, she stretched them out. She used the smallest amount of her powers to keep them dry, and after taking in a deep breath, she launched into the air like someone who was riding a bike for the first time in years - shakily done, but done nonetheless.

The flight to Tadfield was the most liberated (name) had felt in a while. Far below here, people buzzed in panic, and she eventually caught sight of a speeding car she would have once recognized as Crowley’s vintage Bentley. She heart dropped as she watched flames lick the carriage, and melt away the tires. She was certain he would make it to Tadfield, but at such a cost it hurt even her.

On the short list of things that Crowley loved, (name) knew the first to be his car (she secretly hoped that she was second). As she approached the airbase, she began feeling winded.

She really hadn’t done this in a long time.

(Name) touched down a short five minute walk from the airbase. She didn’t want to risk the chance that someone would see her and try to shoot her down. From down the road, she saw three figures. One was an older man, a large obtuse gun strapped to his back, another a soldier holding his gun close, and the last a woman dressed in very colorful attire. Even from afar, she knew the woman - even if she didn’t recognize the face.

“Aziraphale?” She called, and all three people turned. The soldier raised his weapon, but (name) went straight to Aziraphale.

“Ah, (name),” She smiled gently. They embraced, but (name) quickly pulled away.

“Who’s this?” She asked, gently flattening Aziraphale’s sleeves.

“Oh, right. This lovely woman is Madam Tracy. Madam Tracy, this is my good friends (name).” There was no pause between Aziraphale’s words and the woman's. “Oh, a pleasure.”

“Very much so,” (name) agreed. She got the sudden feeling that the others were staring at her, but she ignored it. “What happened to your body, Aziraphale?”

“Ah, yes, about that. Got discorporated. How did you know to come here?”

“Crowley called-” (name) paused when the familiar tune of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, and the smell of burning metal and rubber breached her senses. She turned quickly, watching as the flaming Bentley swerved around the turn and came to a stop at a safe enough distance.

The door open, and Crowley slipped out, a book in one hand as he used his foot to kick the door closed.

“Wouldn’t get that kind of performance from a modern car!” He said, albeit not with much heart. He didn’t even look at the Bentley before making his way over to them. (Name) lurched forward towards him, and he stepped back in surprise. She gently grasped his arms, looking at his soot covered face.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” She said. Crowley’s mouth opened and closed a few times, but he was looking behind her.

“Uh, you, um,” He was stumbling over his words.

“What?”

“Your wings,” He said, and (name) felt her blood go cold.

She had forgotten about her wings. She backed away, suddenly embarrassed, and willed them away.

“Next time you decide to drive your car through a fire, at least let me know beforehand.” She muttered. “I saw you about a mile back and got worried.”

“You were worried about me?” He smirked. She rolled her eyes. “I’m honored, really.”

“Shut up.” She said.

“Crowley, (name), I do believe the flirting can be saved for later.” Aziraphale interrupted you. “As cute as watching you two had been for the last handful of centuries, I really do think getting inside is out main objective, yes?” (Name) felt her cheeks flush red.

“We’re not- she’s not-” Crowley stopped suddenly. “You’re not… You’re not flirting are you?”

“Are you serious? At a time like this?” (Name) motioned to the armed guard.

“I was just curious.” He mumbled. (Name) sighed, but grabbed Crowley’s hand.

“We’ll talk about it later, Crowley. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

---(a little added bonus because didn’t exactly wanna write the whole airport scene)---

“Would anyone here care to explain to me what exactly is going on?” Adam Young’s father asked. Crowley turned to (name), whom had clung to him amidst the stopping of time and Satan rising. She  was winded, to say the least, and she was prepared to sleep for years, even if she didn’t truly need to.

“I should ask you the same.” Crowley mumbled. (Name)’s eyes snapped up to him. “What is going on… here… between us?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Aziraphale interrupted the two of you. “You to have been in love with each other for years, honestly, it’s embarrassing.”

“Aziraphale,” You hissed.

“I’m just so tired of seeing you two dancing around each other. It’s ridiculous.”

“Aziraphale-” Crowley’s words were cut off suddenly when (name) grasped his scarf, tugging him to her. He stared at her, eyes wide open. (Name), not exactly caring whether or not anyone was watching gave him a gentle smile.

“C’mon you old serpent. Tell me where you think we are.”

[cheesytoucans]

alright I have so much to fucking say about the first episode of revue starlight, I’ve actually seen it 3 goddamn times now which is basically unheard of for me with anime. Even with shows I really like I still don’t go back and rewatch the first episode multiple times, basically I’m losing my fucking mind over this show so there’s gonna be a bunch of rambles under the cut

First of all I’d like to reiterate just how much I think the utena vibe works for this show and adds to it. I’ve been thinking for years how we need a new modern utena like show and this one uses it to perfect effect. It’s got the whole vibe of utena but it’s less obtuse and they took out every single guy and replaced them with cute girls and that could totally not be your thing and that’s fine but for me that’s just a combo pack that I cannot resist. The style also just really works for the kind of story that it seems like they’re trying to tell and as of right now it has so much potential and room to grow. 

Just like with utena it looks like these “duels” that they do are symbolic on some level. As of right now the obvious one is that they are literally competing and fighting for the honor of being the best and for things like theater and idols that’s a huge, important part of that work. Besides that I could think of a bunch of other things they could also be symbolic for (god knows if they’ll go the utena route and have some sex symbolism or not but it sure has a few suggestive moments so it’s possible) but I’d like to wait until we got a few more episodes before I start throwing out random ideas.

Moving on though, the line at the beginning where they say: “The tale of these 8 women captivates us” seems slightly worrisome after you realize that there are 9 of them and that Karen is missing from the establishing shot of all of them on the stairs. I don’t know if that’s meant to tell us something or if something will come later with that but when you take that line and then combine it with Karen’s super weird dream where Hikari seems like she’s trying to murder her and it gets a little scary. Normally I would say that there’s no way that means anything but with the way that this show is already playing with symbolism I really wouldn’t be surprised if it was foreshadowing. Also the fact that Karen and Hikari seem to be watching themselves as kids is kind of interesting and might play into something later as well. 

Then we got Karen’s roommate Mahiru who very obviously has a crush on her and it’s cute and amusing. 

this shot where Karen has her face firmly planted into Mahiru’s boobs and Mahiru doesn’t even look phased is 10,000% funnier after you realize that Mahiru is so fucking smitten with her. 

I also wanna say that this scene just flows super well and is paced perfectly. They flow from each student to the next in a way that tells you a small tidbit about each of them and lets you get acquainted before  smoothly rolling onto the next and it just makes it so much fun to watch. 

I really like the way that all the fooling around stops too when Maya walks in, not only does her name give her away as this well to do lady but her voice and the way that she walks seems to command the room and gets everyone else to focus on the class that’s about to start, it’s a power move to say the least. Also the way Claudine especially seems to get fired up and the way those 2 interact throughout the rest of the episode, they got some weird sexual tension going on there, they probably got caught angrily making out in the locker room one day and never lived it down. 

I really wanna know what this musical thing is about because it sounds so gay and they say that Claudine and Maya were the stars last year so that definitely means they’ve been angrily making out at some point, it’s canon now. 

the way that Karen hangs on for dear life is so fucking funny, also super gay. I don’t know if it’s like training for her to hook her leg around her thigh but that’s also super gay and I love it. 

After all that is the dream sequence which is probably my favorite scene in the entire episode. It’s too early to tell if this dream is like a premonition or what but my gf had an interesting theory that I’d like to share. They said that it’s possible that the dream was a test of sorts to decide who would be fit for the revue starlight and that Karen didn’t pass because she let herself be pushed off the tower by Hikari. There’s no way to tell if that’s true or not at this stage but it’s a cool thought so that’s something to think about. 

this shot is probably my favorite in the entire episode though. It’s slow and lingering and that combined with the limited music and the strange buzzing noise like your ears are ringing makes the entire thing just stick in your brain to the point that I was thinking about it for hours after I first watched it. It’s also interesting that Karen doesn’t remember that she bought that barrette here until she’s pushed off and with the strange morbid atmosphere you really gotta wonder if it’s trying to tell you something. 

The transition that leads you out of this scene is also perfect by the way, that text tone on a black background followed by the picture of a giraffe is so bizarre and because of that it leads you out of a strange dream sequence perfectly. 

You also really gotta wonder if Junna knew about this whole underground revue starlight before she got that notification and if so who told her about it? The same with Hikari, who told her and why? and does anyone else know? that also leads you to the question of is this starlight thing going to land on the more symbolic side and they’ll barely talk about it outside of it or will it be discussed at length.

I’m really curious about what happened in Hikari and Karen’s past too. Hikari seems to be hiding a lot of demons and I want to know how much Karen has to do with it all. There’s definitely something to be said about how Hikari has kept that barrette all these years but to what ends we don’t know yet. 

Then we got the revue starlight itself and holy shit is that beginning suggestive 

I really wonder if that’s something they do in the actual starlight musical thing or if it’s just for this underground thing but it also makes you wonder if this really is going to go full on utena and this duels will be a sex metaphor as well. I’m not sure if the show is willing to go that far or not, utena did somehow get away with an onscreen sex scene so I guess anything can happen. 

I would also really be down if the duels went utena in a different way in that they each represented the girls doing them and their struggles and lives and whatnot, again I’m not sure if it’ll go that direction but it would be interesting. Their weapons as well could possibly be representative of who they are, it’s honestly fascinating that Hikari as a dagger of all things and Karen gets the hero sword. 

They also seem to be in real danger of serious injury or death with how that arrow barely misses Hikari’s skull and then later she’s thrown back hard enough to give her a concussion, so there are real stakes here and I love that. 

I love that it doesn’t seem to matter that Karen wasn’t fit for this underground thing before by not being motivated to stand at the top, the fact that she proves herself here and now is much more telling of who she is as a person and is a huge testament to her worth and character. Also the fact that she jumped into action because it was Hikari and she was worried, that’s gay. 

That whole transformation scene where she puts on that outfit was so utena and I loved it. Also loved that those outfits are very prince like and when I first saw Karen in it the first thing that came to mind was that she’s a handsome little prince, I dig that.  

this shot that gets repeated from the dream sequence is so damn cool and that white text on a red background is also so damn cool and so utena and I’m fucking living. 

while the nudity in the ending is definitely fanservice I also wouldn’t be surprised if it was symbolism in some way, which again it’s hard to know what kind since nudity can represent a whole bunch of things so who knows, a thought to keep in mind. 

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelor, season 21, episode 1: i most certainly am not here for the right reasons

I’m pretty sure I’ve never been so excited in my life for one thing.

I’m also pretty sure no one has worked harder to make one person happen than ABC did for Nick. They’re not claiming it’s “The Most Exciting Season Yet”, thank god - it’s “Unlike Anything You’ve Ever Seen Before”. God damn it, ABC. You are not clever.

Nick is uncomfortable saying he’s The Bachelor, and we get a full on montage of him half-naked and even FULL NAKED!!!! I still can’t decide if I think Nick is cute, and this will be my personal journey this year - Is Nick Hot, Or Is He A Body And Good Facial Hair? I just know that Nick has more personality in his pinky finger than Manila Envelope and Water-Based Oatmeal1 ever could. We get a montage of Nick’s terrible hair2 and terrible experiences on this franchise. He also talks with his hands in front of his mouth and has communication issues. Apparently, his family is thrilled with him being the Bachelor, which is hilarious because anyone else’s family would talk them out of doing this show for the FOURTH time. But instead his sister gives him some shitty advice about picking girls up in cars, and we get the obligatory Kiss From A Rose/I’m The Bachelor Now photoshoot montage. Nick’s gonna give us all happy endings, and my friend Katie is pumped.

Speaking of Manila Envelope and Water-Based Oatmeal, they join Sean Lowe, who’s season I’ve seen but barely remember except for Tierra the Tierrable for a chat about the fact that Nick is considered to be an asshole and make jokes that he’s done the show four times. I love that this is going to be A Thing this season. Nick’s afraid of failing on TV AGAIN and all of America is sadly rooting for this too. Not out of dislike for Nick, but wouldn’t it be interesting if SIX people rejected him? Manila Envelope or Water-Based Oatmeal (YMMV) manages to give Nick some good advice about not changing for the show ‘cause everyone’s gonna love him!

When I’m The First Black Bachelorette, my advice to the incumbent will be:

We’re greeted with the first shot of The Artist Formerly Known As My Mortal Enemy, Chris Harrison. Now that I’m enemies with James Kennedy, I had to replace Chris. He was super cool about it, though. He still knows what he did, though. Trust me. He knows what he did. He’s going to introduce us to our Final Four and Others! This is an actual trope of this show - the final four is always featured in the opening segment, along with the two or three others who are topics of discussion this season. You know you’re gonna get a good or bad edit depending whether or not you’re one of the Chosen Six.

WE MEET SOME OF THE LADIEZ!!!!!

Rachel, who I already decided will be Our Real First Black Bachelorette, is an attorney from Dallas. We get a montage of her vacuuming and dancing and talking about how she wants love, but doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but hopes to feel a connection straight off the bat. Rachel, at 31, is one of the oldest contestants this season, and I adore Rachel. Danielle is 27 and owns 3 nail salons. She’s kind of bland. Vanessa, who’s from Quebec3 and speaks English, Italian, and French, and is a special needs teacher. She’s more of a unicorn than Joelle on Ben’s season. She’s far too perfect and Ben is gonna love her. Jacqueline is a lonely nursing student who loves cats and talks to animals. It takes a “certain kind of guy” to handle Jacqueline, which means he’s going to hate her.

Raven reads her bible and watches football in Huxie, Alabama. She’s the second small business owner on the show, and... yeah, i got nothing for Raven. She’s another one who’s just there and probably makes it to the end as The Shocker. Corinne is glamorous and lives in Miami. She’s a 24-year-old woman with a fucking nanny who she needs to live. She runs a “multi-million dollar company” that he dad is passing over to her, and Corinne is this season’s villain and probably final four. Alexis is weird and embarrassing, Danielle is a nurse. GOD these women are... bland.

Taylor is a mental health professional and is fucking gorgeous. She psychoanalyzes Nick, which scares me, considering she’s never met him. Not a huge fan of armchair psychology, even though that is literally the basis of this blog. She talks about being biracial and I’m glad this is a discussion being had on this show. Colorism is so real and such a problem - most of mainstream America probably has zero clue about the internalized hatred within a lot of the black community when it comes down to the actual color of your skin. Liz and Nick fucked at Jade and Tanner’s wedding, where Liz was the maid of honor. They call it “hooking up” but they refuse to admit they bangalanged. Liz refused to give Nick her number after the torrid affair and regrets it because now he’s going to be rich, famous, and have over a million Instagram followers, the dream of every person who participates in his mess of a series.

Note: There has been almost a week between the above paragraph and the rest of this blog. Last week was crazy, sorry y’all. I’ll do better for you this season, I promise.

Anyway, we resume with the Meeting of The Women, also known as the Limo Introductions. Chris Harrison welcomes him back because this is the second time Nick’s doing this - how many times are we going to reference that this is Nick’s fourth go-around???? - and they talk about how Nick is controversial. Remember when Madonna kissed Britney Spears was controversial? Now, a former Salesforce representative-turned-model is “controversial”. Words mean nothing and I am losing more of myself every single day. Nick hopes to finally meet The One, because... that is literally the point of this show.

A GIF Interpretation of My Reaction To Meeting The Bachelor If I Were to Compete on This Show: 4

Danielle is the first from the limo, which combined with her opening segment places her heavily in the top 4. Elizabeth is 24, wearing white lace, and is nervous. She’s basically wearing a wedding dress, and that’s all I got from this. My Queen Rachel shows up, looking gorgeous in a red dress and a red lip, and then makes a football joke. RACHEL, YOU ARE THE BEST. I LOVE YOU. Christen does a fan dance, wears a yellow dress Reese Witherspoon5 is dying to wear to next year’s Golden Globes, and much like everyone else, is excited.

Taylor The Mental Health Professional is only 23?! She calls him a piece of shit (blaming her friends), which is... not the best note to start on and things get weird quick. Nick does not want to meet her friends. laughed so hard because as someone who has also insulted someone upon initial meeting, it’s all in your recovery, and Taylor The Mental Health Professional flubbed. Oh, Taylor. You probably will go home tonight. Kristina wants to get to know him for him, Angela is a model who’s there because El Bachelor is Nick and wears a two-piece gown. Lauren shows up in ALL SEQUINS and her last name is “Hussy”, and makes a solid “Viall-Hussy” joke. Lauren, I already like you. Who are you, Lauren? Can we be friends? I’m down with your sense of humor6.

I wonder how many times they’ll use the word “excited” tonight? Elizabeth wants to form her OWN opinions about him because she’s a Woman Who Does What She Wants. They all believe that Nick on Paradise is the real Nick, not the former Nick who was the asshole on The Bachelor. Ida Marie and Taylor show up, and Ida Marie does a trust fall with him - is this my middle school theatre camp? - and Olivia from Alaska gives him an Eskimo kiss, which feels... obtuse. Someone comes running in - Sarah - and makes a runner-up joke. I’d be pissed if I had to run in any kind of dress. I’d be pissed if I had to run, period. Jasmine G’s body is on point, she looks gorgeous in teal, and she brought Neil Lane with her. I guess Nick and Neil Lane will see each other FIVE TIMES over the course of this show. See? Even I can’t stop mentioning how many times Nick has been on this show. It’s all kind of pointless, and weird, and so is the following “I’m not wearing underwear” non-joke from Hailey, who is also 23. Some of the girls this season are showing their age early on, damn.

Astrid speaks German and gets hella sexy with Nick in a language he doesn’t understand. All the girls are trying to bang him already, damn. I love it. OH NO, LIZ HAS ARRIVED. I’M SCARED FOR HER ALREADY. Nick gives a stifled smile to her like he’s trying to place her - not a good sign, Liz The Doula - and doesn’t even acknowledge that the two of them know each other. HE HAS NO IDEA. I LOVE THIS PLOTLINE ALREADY. Nick “thinks he met her already” which is amazing because he’s literally not sure. Liz weirds me out - there’s a robotic thing about her that scares me. LizBot 2000 reminds me of a strange beauty pageant girl.

Corinne is here for Nick and gives him a hug token to cash in later. Corinne, I already dislike you. Vanessa speaks French to Nick, and I hate her dress. I really like her, though. Some girl brings maple syrup and my boyfriend went on a rant about bringing sticky brown water to a first date and I stopped paying attention to what was going on. Raven has a cute accent, and Jaimi is the second person in the culinary arts this season. Jaimi has “balls” as in she has a septum piercing? WHAT? HOW IS THIS A THING? There’s so much wrong about that. There are a few more introductions I pretty much ran through - Savannah, Josephine (who gives him a book with a hot dog in it?). Lacey arrives on a camel and makes a hump joke, and the girls can’t get over that they didn’t come up with that concept. It is a really good one. Alexis is an aspiring dolphin Trainer and wears a shark suit7, but considers herself to be a dolphin. Remember on Burning Love when Jennifer Aniston wore THE EXACT SAME COSTUME? REMEMBER THIS? MAGGIE, REMEMBER? I AM DEAD, BURNING LOVE AND THIS SHOW ARE OFFICIALLY THE SAME THING.

Everyone’s wearing red, and everyone is upset about it. Next season no one will wear red ever. The season after that, no one will wear red. Hailey, Rachel, Taylor, Lacey, Angela, and Dominique all wear red. There may even be more of them that I didn’t notice. Nick is greeted by the women with a cocktail and thanks them for being there because he’s done it 100 times.

Rachel gets the first time with Nick, and they flirt. Hard. She’s such a fucking queen, she’s a star from the get-go. She, like me, has more cousins than siblings, and she loves everyone in her family. She’s got goals and is good at her job. Christen teaches Nick to ballroom dance - for some reason, I feel like Nick is the rare white guy who can actually dance - and Danielle talks about how she really wants a rose that night. I actually think Nick is approaching this like an adult? With thought and confidence and a good amount of self-deprecation, which is nice.

Chris Harrison drops...

THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE!!!!!!!!

Corinne does something with tokens and really wants to kiss him tonight. Vanessa’s friend submitted her for the show and considers it fate that the only guy she wanted was Nick, and Nick’s now Le Bachelor. Vanessa wants to kiss him so badly and it seems like it might happen until Corinne, confirming her space as this season’s villain, comes in and interrupts him to kiss him. Everyone sees, of course, and everyone’s shocked. Corinne’s so gross, she’s all but smiling during the kiss which is so weird. This season is weird. Corinne is described as “the first one to kiss him, and the first one to double-dip.” They’re not wrong, but the season has officially begun.

Jasmine G is upset because she wanted time to talk to him and Nick asks her to wait briefly. The girls start drinking heavily to cope because this show and the environment is anxiety inducing. Everyone wants to be friends with Alexis the Dolphin Shark, who insists she’s a dolphin. Corinne makes weird references to her body being possibly ugly under there. Alexis is drunk and in the pool, and Nick finds her there and insists she’s a shark. It really is concerning that she refuses to acknowledge that she’s a shark. Her costume has a fin. Nick tells her she’s gotta keep it on all night long because he’s probably into that. Doesn't Nick Being a Furry seem like a thing that would happen in 2017?

LizBot 2000 cannot get over the fact that she’s met Nick before and is really excited that he doesn’t remember - girl, that is a BAD THING that he doesn’t remember. Nick admits that he does remember her7 and it’s been a while since they last saw each other. He’s basically confused as to why she wouldn’t give him her number but feels comfortable enough going on this show8. She still thinks he was a dick before she saw him on Paradise, and Nick is hella confused. He just calls her out on her bullshit time and time again and it’s incredible. They get interrupted and LizBot tries to stall but Nick’s like, “uh, hell no, I’m gonna talk to everyone tonight, sorry.” and ditches her.

Everyone’s nervous because the First Impression Rose is still out there, and everyone’s worried Corinne might get it because she kissed him first, and Corinne’s not worried. The girl who gave him maple syrup is Canada, of course, some girl has a Carrie Bradshaw quote? WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO BE CARRIE BRADSHAW? Her boyfriend Danielle M. seems too shy and timid for this show, but I like her. She’s a nurse for sick babies and likes the challenge. They seem to have a cute rapport, and Nick comes for the First Impression Rose.

OMG. OMG. OH MY GOD9.

IT GOES TO MY QUEEN AND GODDESS RACHEL.

YES.

YES!!!!!!!!!

THIS SEASON IS ALREADY AMAZING.

A BLACK WOMAN GETS THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE, TRACEE ELLIS ROSS WINS A GOLDEN GLOBE, VIOLA DAVIS WINS A GOLDEN GLOBE, AND EVERYTHING IS BETTER FOR US ALL10.

Nick says it was “obvious” that he wanted to give the rose to Rachel by the end of the night, and they kiss. I am alive. You can tell she was genuinely shocked. They hold hands. This is true love.

We’re headed into the Rose Ceremony, but not before Nick confers with Chris Harrison. He's pissed at Liz.

Roses go to: Vanessa, Danielle, Christen, Astrid/Astird, Corinne (who thought she might not get a rose because she kissed him), Elizabeth W, Jasmine G (who cried when she thought she wouldn’t get time with him), Raven, Kristina (who also cried because she didn’t know what to expect), Danielle M, Sarah, Josephine, Lacey, Taylor The Mental Health Professional, Alexis (who still refuses to admit she’s a shark), Hailey, Whitney, Dominique, Jaimi11, Brittany (who seems like an irl Cecily Strong character from SNL), and LizBot 2000, of course.

That means we’re losing Olivia, Angela, Ida Marie, Briana, Susannah, Michelle, and Lauren, who never evolved past “Viall-Hussey”, which is so sad. I liked her. Can’t wait to see all of you in Paradise, though! We’ll certainly have forgotten you by that point.

This Season, on La Bachelor: NICK FREEZES TO DEATH, Into The Wild-style. Lots of dancing! Lots of kissing! Lots of adventures! Finland! Jaimi’s bisexual! THE FUCKING BACKSTREET BOYS. Corinne takes her top off for a photograph, everyone wants to fuck Nick, and Liz tells everyone about her and Nick banging. Vanessa cries, everyone cries, and Corinne is an immature villain. Corinne tries to bang Nick, and Nick cries a ton. Nick doesn’t like being The Bachelor? And the proposals happen in an elk lodge. Gross. Currently crossing my fingers that Nick gets rejected a third time, despite my current love for him.

See you tomorrow for Vanderpump Rules, and Wednesday for The Bachelor, and THE FIRST EPISODE OF MY PODCAST. I'll post details about it soon.

Random Assessments from The Desk of Amanda:

Initial thoughts about Nick: He’s great.I think he’s going to be a great Bachelor, maybe the best in Bachelor history, which is saying a lot. He’s charming, self-deprecating, and seems to be in it for real, which is strange.

Bachelor Fantasy Picks: Vanessa, Rachel, Danielle.

Vanessa looks like Brunette Jessica Chastain, Michaela Watkins, Andi Dorfman, Julia Roberts, Madeleine Stowe, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Corinne and Sarah have the same face and different hair.

My boyfriend claims the key to making past the first night: asking the Bachelor/Ette how they’re feeling and if things are going well. Make it about them, y’all. Don’t try to sell yourself. Also, be super-de-duper hot.

I hate the voice-overs of people hoping to be called.

NO ONE GOT WASTED DRUNK ON THE FIRST NIGHT AND MADE A FOOL OF THEMSELVES. What a disappointment.

Nick and Kaitlyn really, really hate each other.

In this new year, I’m literally thrilled that Josh and Amanda are donzo for good and for realsies. BYE HEAUX.

Chris and Ben, disrespectfully. ↩︎

Was his hair ORANGE in Kaitlyn’s season? ORANGE? ↩︎

I hate the Quebecois French accent. ↩︎

Kim’s old face! ↩︎

Reese only wears yellow or purple on the red carpet, and it is so boring. ↩︎

I would totally be the girl who competes on this show with the sole purpose of making friends. I’m here to make friends, not to win. ↩︎

After some producer prodding, probably. ↩︎ ↩︎

It’s because she wants to shill weight-loss teas and go on Marriage Boot Camp like her best friends Jade And Tanner, The Golden Couple Who Got Engaged In Paradise And Married On TV Earlier Last Year, Remember Them? ↩︎

My favorite part of the FIR is that it sits in front of the girls, taunting them for hours. ↩︎

I also love the girls who are trying not to be like “... But she’s black????” It’s so obvious. #BlackGirlMagic is real. ↩︎

My boyfriend referred to her as “Septum Piercing”, so that’s her name. ↩︎

[delicioussshame]

I can’t finish anything so have some more wips.

______________________________________________________________

Luo Binghe isn’t sure how he feels about Shizun picking up a new disciple. He’s been the youngest for so long. How could he be a decent shixiong to this newcomer when he could barely cultivate? He’s always so busy ruining errands and dealing with Ming Fan too. Surely that’s why Shizun didn’t take him along.

But Luo Binghe takes one look at tiny Shen Yuan holding his shimei’s sleeve, staring wildly around, and feels his heart twist.

“Shen-shidi, that’s your shixiong, Luo Binghe.”

Luo Binghe swears Shen Yuan lit up when he turned toward him, and yet, his answer is very mature. “Luo-shixiong. This Shen Yuan will be in your care. I will do his best not to shame my shimei and shixiong.”

He’s so cute, standing there with a too serious face, that it takes all Luo Binghe has not to hug his new brother.

He’s always worked hard, but he’s going to have to work even harder now. He can’t disappoint Shen Yuan.

___________________

Luo Binghe cannot afford to fail here. He promised Shen Yuan he’d come back with the first place.

Shen Yuan had been so worried. He’d always been pushing books at him, trying to teach him about monsters Luo Binghe kept telling him he wouldn’t see at the Conference.

Nothing he could do would calm him.

Luo Binghe had found his reaction both endearing and heartbreaking.

Endearing, because how could he not when Shen Yuan was so obvious about his attachment to him? It only made his resolve to protect his dear shidi from everything stronger.

Heartbreaking, because Luo Binghe recognised himself in his fear. He remembers how he was after his mother’s death.

Shen Yuan receives no letter and never visits family. He never mentions anyone that’s not from the sect. He came with nothing but the clothes on his back.

Luo Binghe understands how a fellow orphan would be disturbed by the idea of losing his family all over again. He won’t let it happen. He won’t leave Shen Yuan to deal with their shizun’s mercurial temperament by himself.

He has to come back home.

___________________

He doesn’t manage it.

___________________

Shen Yuan has no idea what the fuck is happening.

He is pretty sure he did well on the “not getting slaughtered by Luo Binghe with the rest of the sect” front. Luo Binghe likes him! He always took care of him like a good older brother would. Shen Yuan made for a good, obedient younger sibling, diligent with his studies and polite to his elders.

He did not think that would translate to him being kidnapped out of the sect.

One second he was cultivating by himself, the next a portal opens, Luo Binghe steps out of it (way too early!) and pulls him inside his demonic palace, hello Luo Binghe’s domain.

Then he gets a hug. “Shixiong!”

Luo Binghe doesn’t let go. “Let your shixiong indulges a bit. He hasn’t seen his favorite shidi in so long.”

Shen Yuan sighs. “I’m your only shidi.”

“You’re still my favorite.”

______________________________________________________________

Luo Binghe immediately recognises the man dressed in cultivator garb as Yingying’s shizun.

Beautiful and serene, she said. The perfect image of an untouchable immortal, dressed in white and pale greens. Always holding a fan of exquisite manufacture.

But more than her vivid descriptions of her shizun’s loveliness, he remembers what she said next.

She’d been laying on her side, her long cascading hair not managing to hide her luscious curves.

Luo Binghe had known she wouldn’t be ready for another round just yet, and so had been pleased to listen to her lighthearted pillow talk.

Today’s topic had been her exasperation with her shizun’s lack of sex life.

“Sometimes I can’t believe how obtuse he is. Liu-shishu has been courting him for years, and I don’t think he ever noticed. And don’t get me started on the sect master! All Shizun would have to do is bat his eyelashes and the sect master would drop everything to worship him! But no, he never takes him on it. For a while I thought maybe Shizun just preferred women, but more than one female disciple has tried her hand at him, all to no avail.”

Luo Binghe could imagine the type. Cultivators could be lofty. They think they’re above the needs of the flesh.

He always enjoys teaching them how wrong they are.

If the demonic part of his heritage revels in desecrating those pompous righteous cultivators, no one else could tell. Luo Binghe was too good at his chosen hobby to let his personal feelings interfere.

“I love and respect Shizun more than anyone. Without him, I would never have become the kind of cultivator who can afford A-Luo’s company. So I am motivated by filial piety and nothing else when I say that I have never met anyone who needs to get laid more than Shen Qingqiu.”

Luo Binghe had laughed. “Oh? Is Yingying going to replace me with her old teacher?”

Her scandalised look had sent him into another bout of laughter. “A-Luo! I would never!”

“Then why is she telling me this? Does she want me to take care of him?”

Ning Yingying had stared at him, a glint in her eyes. Luo Binghe could see the plans form in her head as she spoke. “Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. It would do wonders for Shizun, and I know A-Luo loves breaking people like him.”

Luo Binghe had blinked, inwardly caught off-guard. He wasn’t blind. He knew Ning Yingying was a lot more observant than she appeared. It wasn’t the first time she had made that kind of comment. “Yingying knows me so well. Should I be worried?”

She had swapped at him. He could have easily evaded the blow, but he didn’t bother. “A-Luo doesn’t have anything to fear from me. But honestly, if I sent Shizun your way, would you take care of him? I really think he could benefit from it. And Shizun is very beautiful! Many will definitely be jealous if they ever find out.”

Luo Binghe had nothing against the idea of taking a peak lord to bed. He bet Xin Mo would love to feed on such high-quality cultivation. “I would be honored to entertain your teacher.”

He could tell from the way she had brightened he was about to be thoroughly thanked.

She had payed him too, both for herself and for her shizun’s future visit. Generously enough that Luo Binghe had wondered if he should praise her filial piety to her shizun.

She didn’t lie. Shen Qingqiu really is exquisite.

Not as handsome as Luo Binghe himself, but nobody is. “You must be Shen Qingqiu.”

“Luo Binghe, I presume.” Luo Binghe cannot quite decipher the look he’s being given, which is rare enough to catch his attention. He’s pretty certain there’s some attraction there, but the rest? Trepidation? Outright fear? Disdain? Excitement?

He’s sure he’s going to find out. He gestures for Shen Qingqiu to sit down as he moves to prepare tea. He could have one of his servants take care of it, but Luo Binghe has always preferred taking care of things himself. That personal touch has seduced more than one client, if they didn’t visit him only for his food.

Shen Qingqiu drinks the offered tea in silence before he starts talking. “If you would please tell me your fee, I will be refunding Ning Yingying. I am sorry for wasting your time, but I have no interest in procuring your services.”

Ooh, that’s cute. If Luo Binghe wasn’t an expert at perceiving the signs of physical attraction, he might even believe him. Shen Qingqiu is interested, he’s sure of it. He’s just a prude, like Yingying said. “Yingying won’t accept it. Why refuse her most thoughtful gift?”

______________________________________________________________

What if he really intended to kill me?

It’s the thought that can’t quite leave his mind, no matter how implausible it seems. There is no way Shizun would have failed to eliminate him if that was what he wanted. For most people, it’s easy to forget how deadly easygoing, charming Shen Yuan could be, but Luo Binghe had always known better. Shen Yuan was never unarmed. He delighted in wearing ridiculously anachronistic poison rings and hiding slim daggers in his sleeves. He had taught Luo Binghe how to be ready for attack at any time. Luo Binghe had taken this lesson to heart, like everyone he ever received from Shen Yuan.

It isn’t hard for him to reach Shen Yuan’s room unnoticed. Having spent years living in the casino as his protégé, Luo Binghe knew all the employees-only passageways, the hidden entrances, the unused hallways. Two employees recognise him, but it’s not an issue. Shen Yuan would be ashamed of him if he tried something as daring as confronting him in his own domain without having done the proper research beforehand. He knows Shen Yuan buried the truth about his heritage. His shizun told everyone his charge had died in a tragic accident. Everyone figured he meant a job gone wrong and haven’t asked further questions. Those who recognise him seem pleased to see him, and giddy at the idea of him meeting Shen Yuan again.

Surely Shizun must still care, if everyone thinks he does?

He tries to calm his nerve as he enters the security code to Shizun’s room. For all of Shizun’s careful preparations when attacking others, he was downright careless with his own security, recklessly confident in the casino’s personal. In all of the years Luo Binghe had stayed with him, he had not once changed the combination.

The door unlocks soundlessly.

Luo Binghe breathes again. If it hadn’t worked, he would have charmed one of his old acquaintances into letting him “surprise his shizun with his unexpected survival”, but he much preferred not having to count in an interloper.

His first thought is that Shen Yuan is even more beautiful than he remembers.

There were countless nights ending like this, with Shen Yuan drinking tea from a dainty cup, still dressed in layers of fine clothes Luo Binghe always dreamt of removing with his teeth.

______________________________________________________________

Shen Qingqiu would say that Luo Binghe is a morning person, but in this particular case it would be a lie. Luo Binghe is just an anytime kind of person. As long as his husband is on the menu, when doesn’t matter. Shen Qingqiu is convinced that if he himself didn’t enjoy sleeping, Luo Binghe would forgo it altogether in favor of having sex all night long, every night.

Shen Qingqiu would die, but he thinks his stallion of a husband would just feel more energised.

So he’s not exactly a stranger to being awakened by intimate caresses. As long as it’s not too early, he’s usually amenable to it. He has to rise anyway, so why not make it pleasant?

He is somewhat less familiar with the current number of hands and mouth trying to wake him up. He’s pretty certain the teeth worrying at his chest and the hand sliding between his thighs are Luo Binghe’s, so the mouth on his nape and the other hand grasping his left hip must be Mobei-Jun’s.

He’s also pretty sure the erection rubbing against the back of his thighs is also Mobei-Jun’s, unless Shen Qingqiu is terribly wrong and he’s in a very, very bad situation. That is very unlikely, considering anyone trying to get frisky with him who isn’t those two must not only have a death wish, but the kind of death wish where they hate life so badly they want to spend their last year in pain and misery. His status as Luo Binghe’s husband is very, very well known, to his continued embarrassment. The occasional hopelessly stupid demon has tried to kidnap him. It had always, famously, ended very badly for them.

He could just open his eyes and look to check, but he can’t be bothered. He’s still tired, damn it. Last night’s play ended up lasting for quite a while. If they want to have fun, they can work for it.

______________________________________________________________

Shizun’s control over his smell was legendary on Qing Jing Peak.

Shen Qingqiu had always had complete mastery over his facial expression, but that this extended to even his scent was almost too impressive to be believed. And yet, even when he angered, it never spiked. He would still emit the same weak, almost chemical smell he was known for.

Not bad, no one on Qing Jing Peak would dare to speak a word against Shen Qingqiu’s scent, but not pleasant either. Only the faintest notes of plum blossoms could be detected under the medicinal smell.

When he had still lived with Shizun, Luo Binghe had wondered if Shen Qingqiu was hiding a partner on Qian Cao. Maybe it was their smell that lingered on his master.

He’d ruled it out after a while. Shen Qingqiu did not sneak out for mysterious meetings, and spent his heat by himself, seemingly unbothered. Luo Binghe had admired this too. His master was truly exceptional, to govern himself so thoroughly even when no one would have expected him to. Luo Binghe could only dream of having that kind of control. He’d shamed himself thoroughly during his heat, unable to hide how much he longed for Shizun to follow him to bed. Unable to stop himself from moaning his name and imagining him filling him up as he fucked himself on his own, unsatisfying, fingers.

After, Shizun had acted like he always did. He was used to mending omegas still overwhelmed by the aftereffects of their heat. He stayed perfectly appropriate, handling the matter with compassion but no effusiveness. If he heard Luo Binghe calling for him, he never let it show. His disciple could only envy his utter mastery of himself, and be a little bit bitter that it didn’t break even for him.

He only found out why, exactly, Shen Qingqiu’s scent was immune to fluctuations when he started tending to his lifeless body. It wouldn’t do for Shizun to get dirty, so Luo Binghe washed him, as chastely as he could.

At first, he had thought the change of smell was due to his condition. Shen Qingqiu’s body wasn’t able to produce more aroma. Maybe whatever caused it was deteriorating as everything else did?

But no. The scent emerging under wasn’t anything like the faint notes of medicine and plum blossoms Luo Binghe associated with Shizun. Luo Binghe detected something muskier, touches of sandalwood and hints of citrus. Not an omega’s scent. Nothing like Luo Binghe’s smell, which reminded most people of jasmine.

His first reaction had been incredulity. Surely Shizun couldn’t have been an alpha? There was no way he could life on Qing Jing Peak, surrounded only by omegas, and support them through their heats completely unaffected?

It became obvious Shen Qingqiu was just that extraordinary. His true scent couldn’t lie.

It made Luo Binghe giddy. If Shen Qingqiu was an alpha, once he returned there was nothing stopping them from having the family Luo Binghe always guiltily dreamt of! What could be more normal than an alpha and an omega getting married?