#they are all being forced to method act rn

[colors-of-my-heart]

unfortunately, the final Epic livestream getting cancelled because the cast decided to go to Ithaca together only to face nonstop disasters including a crazy bad storm is the funniest possible way this could have ended

[moonsaver]

wheover that anon was that spoke up about mr reca I LOVE U WE SHOULD KISS

ALSO YESSS IRIS FAM MEMBER! READER WHOS AN ACTRESS/ACTOR!!! just imagine being THE mr. reca’s favorite thespian he’s ever worked with oh my gosh im drooling rn 😍🥰😋🔥😜

Yes anon!! Very real of the other anon. And of you.

This is yandere, so tw

Iris!Reader who's an actress/actor would smash. Imagine despite your humble beginnings and barely being able to keep your family afloat you make it. Although perhaps our beloved actor/actress doesn't quite fit the beauty standard, or they haven't made their debut in a popular film, or maybe they just aren't what most movies are focused on right now, considering the disparity between an actor's range and the genres they might partake in.

Here comes Mr. Reca, swooping you from who knows where, plopping you down into a makeup chair and reading the script to you at 50 words/sec speed. You have no idea where you are or what's going on before you're pushed onto the movie set, completely winded before Mr. Reca throws his hands up all "oh alright! Since you can't get the hang of this yet, I'll lend you a hand" or whatever excuse he loves to pull out of his ass. He personally guides you with the movie scripts, drags you along to any parties he may have to attend, forces you "into the filming sphere" or whatever by "exposure". You could be sleeping and he'd blast into your personal residence at 4 in the morning, and drag you along. He probably even forces you to sit down and listen to all his ideas and brainstorming sessions.

The more time you spend with him, the more sense he eventually makes. It's strange, and you almost end up questioning if you might be going insane. But you brush it off, because you realise he's been caring to you. Unlike most directors, he does care for his cast. He does provide a hospitable atmosphere to work with, which makes you realise just why your co-stars are so eager to please him. Mr. Reca, although insane and hard to decipher, makes you almost gravitate towards him when his eccentricities are laid bare before you.

Every time your short contract ends, he's already got the next one printed out and ready for you to sign. You appear so often beside him, it's unusual for you not to. Often, you make headlines with Mr. Reca backing you up. It's all in the palm of his hands when he gets you to stardom.

Oh, but isn't it a bit too much?

Nosy paparazzi that continually stalk and harass you, fans or even those that despise you call you or your family, people surrounding your home just to get a glimpse of your daily life, drivers who follow your car everywhere.. it's a bit too much for your pretty little head to handle. Mr. Reca is all too familiar with these pests. Why don't you stand closer and let him deal with them? Nevermind the fact he paid them, or that he's been rather eager to practice method acting with you.

Speaking of, he's replaced all your co-stars whenever it comes to suggestive or intimate scenes, considering himself as their stand-in since, well.. You're more comfortable with him, aren't you? You've been under his wing for so long, it's easier for you to do these uncomfortable scenes with him, instead of those no good actors.

You're not sure when it happens, but you notice the amount of cast dwindling until it's you and him, all alone. The movies are beautiful, but it's hard to hide the shivering by just pure acting skills when you realise no one has you in their grasp as much as Mr. Reca. His eager, insane eyes watching you like a rabid animal hidden behind a camera when you act all alone on a solitary set. This is the last time he allows the privilege of your visage on the lens, before you mysteriously go missing. You are meant for only the lens of his observant eyes, he states, as though confessing a haunting realisation.

Oh well, you can continue acting. Just remember your audience. It's only him you have to consider pleasing.

[gor3-hound]

teachers pet

ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader

cw: 18+content, dub-con, pussy spanking, spanking, degradation, milddd brat taming, teacher x student relationships (age gap, but reader is in college), p in v, pull-out method, cum eating

a/n: i have been really struggling to write recently, so i hope you guys still like this :3 i um... hate it sorry it's not that good... writer's block is so shitty rn. feedback is appreciated !!

word count: 1.3k words

Leon finds you infuriating at the best of times. Sitting at the front of the lecture hall, giggling as you look at your phone. You never pay attention to his lectures - he doesn't understand why you even bother to show up.

You're not even subtle about ignoring him. The least you could do is try and hide in the back like the rest of his students who don't give a fuck.

To make matters worse, your grades are actually decent. Nothing to write home about, but you always turn his assignments in on time, and you've never failed to get a passing mark. If you failed, at least you'd flunk out of his class, and he wouldn't have to put up with your shit anymore.

It's like you want to get a rise out of him.

He's sick of it. He's sick of you. He retired and took on teaching college kids in the hopes he'd finally have some time to relax, but you seemed to enjoy making his life a living hell. He'd had enough of it. As you're packing up once he dismisses the class, he makes his way to your desk, his footsteps echoing across the lecture hall.

“Not you, miss. I need to have a word with you. Please come to my desk once you're packed up.” He tells you, tapping two fingers against your desk as he leans in to speak before he's returning to sit at the desk at the front of the hall.

You let out an exaggerated groan at his words, shoving your laptop into your backpack before begrudgingly making your way over to him. Your bag is slung over one shoulder, hanging precariously off to the side.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“That's right.” He says with a slight nod of his head, gesturing for you to take the seat across from him. He leans back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other as he waits for you to sit.

“I'm going to be honest. You've gained my attention, however it's been for all the wrong reasons. You're smart enough. I'm sure if you applied yourself to this course, you'd get top marks. Is there something I can do to help? Is it a motivation issue? Something at home?”

“Well, if I'm being honest, sir. I thought when I chose this elective, it'd be more interesting. Your lectures are, like… seriously boring.” You say with a smirk that makes it clear you're just trying to frustrate him further.

“I'm seriously getting sick of your attitude.” He bites out, leaning forward against his desk. His eyes are narrowed and locked onto your own. “You can drop an elective. It will have no effect on your main course of study. Why are you still here?”

“It's fun to annoy you, sir.” Is your response, a shit-eating grin spreading across your face.

That's it. Leon is a patient man. He'd tried his best to help you. To figure out what the issue was so he could fix it. But you? Everything about you made him want to rip his hair out.

“Stand up.” He hisses, the feet of his chair screeching against the hardwood floor as he pushes it back suddenly before standing, stalking his way to your side of the desk. You don't stand, crossing your arms as you lean back in the chair.

“I said, stand up!” He repeats, gripping you by the arm and tugging you to your feet. He presses down harshly on your shoulders, forcing you to bend over his desk. “You want to act like an unruly child? Fine. I'll treat you like one.”

“You can not be serious.” You grit out, moving to straighten back up before your chest is forced against the surface of the desk once more with a strong hand pushing down on your back, right between your shoulder blades. “Jesus. I always knew you were a fucking freak.”

“This could all have been avoided if you weren't such a brat.” He hisses, raising your skirt to expose the curve of your ass. You hear him snort, bunching up the fabric of your panties and yanking them upwards harshly, making the fabric bunch up between your lips in a wedgie. It draws a whine from your lips, your brows furrowing as you drop your cheek against his desk.

“Fucking slut. Is that why you're acting up in my class, hmm? You want attention? Prancing around in those tiny skirts, skimpy panties like these underneath ‘em?” He lets go of your panties, sliding them down your thighs before smacking his flattened fingers repeatedly against your pussy until it runs hot, dripping all over his skin.

“Fuck… fuck off.” You say through gritted teeth, your mouth twitching downwards as he continues to spank your pussy. You bite down on your tongue, trying to prevent any noises from spilling past your lips.

He pinches your clit harshly between his thumb and forefinger, giving it a little yank. He grins at the sound of your whimper and the way you jerk away from him, letting out a low chuckle. “What was that, sweetheart?”

You hear the sound of a belt buckle and the shuffling of fabric, which is enough to send a shiver running down your spine. You swallow the lump in your throat, suddenly feeling your confidence drain from you. When you speak, your voice is almost a whisper. “Mr. Kennedy…”

“Oh? You finally learning to keep that mouth shut?” He grunts, running his tip teasingly up and down between your folds, letting his cock catch on your hole just to see you jump. “Trying to pretend you're not a filthy slut, but your cunt is crying for me...”

He presses forward with a low groan, burying himself to the hilt inside of you. His cock throbs as your walls tighten around him, his fingers digging painfully into the fat of your hips as he starts to fuck into you, his pelvis pummelling against your ass with every shift of his hips.

“Greedy.” He scolds, smacking your ass harshly, and once more just to hear the way you whimper when his hand connects with your flesh. “She's sucking me right in. Know this is what you've been wanting… shoulda asked, sweetheart. Pretty sluts like you always get what they want.”

“Perfect pussy… squeezing me so tight.” He groans, thrusting deeper into your cunt, pulling you back onto his cock and angling his hips so he's bumping against your sweet spot every time he bottoms out. He fucks you with deep, hard strokes, letting you feel the drag of every inch of his thick cock inside of you.

“Ah, that's right. Just need to fuck the brattiness out of you, hmm? Goooood fucking girl. Gonna… gonna make me cum.” He says through gritted teeth, slipping a hand down to circle a thumb around your clit. You babble helplessly as he touches you, nothing but ‘please’s and ‘sir's spilling past your lips. He almost cums inside of you when he feels your clenching around him as your orgasm hits, but he's not too pussydrunk to release how stupid it'd be to get his student knocked up, so he pulls out quickly and coats your ass in his cum.

“You gonna be a good girl for me now?” He asks, dropping to his knees behind you, his tongue darting out to lick his cum off of you. The sensation has you shivering, but you nod weakly at his question. He pulls your panties up, straightening out your skirt before patting your butt and going to sit at his desk once more, as if nothing's happened. “Good. That's good.”

“Come see me after class tomorrow, babe. Gotta make sure the lesson really sinks in.”

[charmedreincarnation]

hi i’m sorry for this small rant. i really hope you reply to it because i’m spiralling so bad. i have been listening to v powerful luckiest girl and get all your desires instantly forced subs and i had two really bad days and overall my life feels so shit and i feel like nobody gives a shit about me feel left out with my friends and am really regretting some past choices i have made as in subjects i chose to study. why do subs not work on me ever? i detach but subs just don’t work for me idk what should i do i want to enter the void and live my better/dream life but i keep failing and i’m so spiraling so hard rn. i am not even seeing small success i can’t even manifest my acne away or to grow a few inches how will i enter the void and magically change my life entirely. please help me out. how do i manifest or enter the void as soon as i can. i am being delululu living in 4d but yes ik if i am truly living in the end i shouldn’t have doubts but it’s been so many months when will i see results in my 3d. manifestion should be instant right. i’m sorry for my negativity i hope you have a great day

Hi love! I feel like any of this could be answered in another ask, but you seem really worried, so I'm going to answer it anyway!

First and foremost, you are allowed to have doubts. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're producing those thoughts. From a psychological perspective (which aligns with LOA), our thoughts are not entirely our own. This is a scientific truth, whether you believe in LOA or not. Scientists say that our thoughts are influenced by external factors such as our environment, upbringing, and the thoughts of others. Sound familiar? They also claim that we have the power to change our thoughts and create our own reality by consciously choosing the thoughts we entertain. So, just know that you're going to have doubts until the end, but as long as you categorize them as random thoughts and not your own beliefs, they don't matter! For example, if someone dressed as Chucky the doll jump-scared you and you started having "scary" thoughts about it, that doesn't mean you actually believe Chucky is real and coming to get you. You have psychological responses to certain things that have been ingrained and coded in you for a while now. What LOA does is help us intercept these false messages and reframe them as "useless" instead of messages we encode in our mind and assumption.

I've always been interested in psychology and neurology, and even though it doesn't directly relate to your question, it's important to mention that you do have a brain, and your brain is wired to act in certain ways. Once you're aware of why you're acting and believing certain things, it becomes way easier to understand that the 3D world is malleable. I really suggest reading books by authors like Joe Dispenza so you can understand yourself better. Also, watching YouTubers who explain anxiety and reading self-help books can provide helpful ways to manage your own anxiety.

The second thing is, if you don't believe in subliminals, I don't know why people do this, but if you don't have faith in something or assume it doesn't work for you, just use something you have a little faith in. For example, maybe you're more logical. You can read about brain waves and then listen to binaural beats for anxiety,manifesting, and faith. Have faith in it, because you'll understand and know that those waves genuinely change your brain's alignment. That's just one example, but subliminals are not the only type of audios out there. There are many other methods to explore.

Also, meditation is very helpful. Not just to reach the void, but do you know how many conscious thoughts we have in a day? On average, it is estimated that a person has around 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts can range from conscious, deliberate thoughts to automatic, repetitive thoughts. That doesn't even include the number of unconscious thoughts we have, which is probably 100k+. You constantly have these little things running around in your head, trying to keep you alive, keeping you repeating the same thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. You can't consciously control them most of the time, but your brain and mind are working overtime 24/7. It's not your fault, so that's why meditation can help you. Not just to reach the void, though you can tap into that using some form of meditation as well, but to clear your mind and then it’s there it will be better to affirm and believe you can do whatever you desire. If you're not truly embodying the desired state, which you're not because you sent this ask, do you think a few measly affirmations can counteract the hundreds of thousands of thoughts you've been having every day since birth, most of which you don't even know exist? Affirmations do work, but trust me, I've been where you're at and worse. This is not the state to solely rely on "miracle affirmations" because you won't believe them, and when something doesn't happen, you'll just want to give up and confirmation bias will make you subconsciously think, "Well, see? I knew it. It isn’t real" But in reality, your mind is just looking for proof to align with your negative beliefs.

I know you say you haven't manifested anything, but can you really think back to something you thought was a "coincidence" or something you didn't really ask for but it just appeared? We usually brush those off as just the world at play or a small world, but nope, that was you. Maybe you don't have clear skin or whatever your desire may be, but as you probably know, that's because you've put it on a pedestal compared to all the other "small" but great things you've manifested

I know you probably wanted me to tell you exactly what to do, but I genuinely don't know you the way you know yourself - your own self, mind, and behaviors. You know best, fr! I could have said anything I've said before, like imagination is the real reality, the 3D being malleable, if you can see and feel it you can manifest it, try SATs or lucid dreaming lalala. But I've learned that you know what you have to do. Sit and meditate to learn about yourself and your mind, and why you think what you think. What past experiences do you still hold onto, reliving them in your mind and creating assumptions that no longer serve you? They can still affect you, we are humans and emotions cling to us like bees to honey, and that's okay. But we need to start moving those experiences into the past and start creating with what we are now, which is the present. Any given moment is a time to say, 'Okay, this doesn't serve me anymore, and this does. I don't want this life anymore, I want this type of life,' and consciously start creating with those desires instead.

Acknowledge your doubts, they're just doubts, and they're really just an extension of life factors that have been slowly consuming your mind. You may have them, but as a god, do you have them? No. But as a human, you are influenced by them, and who cares? You know who you are and your power now, so if you disregard them, work around them. But I can't tell you what to do because I'm not you! I wholeheartedly believe that you will get through this because I have as well and the lows are just apart of your journey as the success as corny as it sounds. But when you do succeed I promise you’ll back to this movement and just be very happy you didn’t give up despite how hard it was 💝

[telvess]

I was hanging out with a little girl who fucking coughed on me and now I'm sick...

Usually I'll drink a shot of vinegar, ginger honey, cinnamon and cayenne pepper... but i don't have access to than rn...

And in my sick/ half sleep haze I was thinking about how our diverse cast of hot men would take care of sick s/o using natural remedies

So Shiva, jataka, Buddha, (it might be the same because India idk, I guess Thai for Buddha)

Loki (Celtic/Greek idk)

Kojiro (Japanese)

I need some ror men..

medicine!

Need medicine...

I hope your sickness was short!

I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH SASAKI BECAUSE OF YOU!

RoR: How do they take care of sick s/o (Shiva, Jataka, Buddha, Loki, Sasaki Kojirō)

Shiva

Shiva has never been sick in his life, so he freaks out a bit when you get sick. Not the most helpful companion you can find. At first he asks what to do, but if you are too weak to speak, then… oh well.

Shiva doesn’t leave his realm, so he doesn't know any natural, human remedies that could help you. He keeps you warm and sits next to you the entire time. He remains vigilant. Even he pretends it’s nothing, his wives can tell he genuinely worries.

Once the worst is over and you start to look more alive, Shiva does his best to keep you in a good mood. Say a word and he will even dance for you.

What’s surprising, no matter how hard you try, you can’t infect Shiva. He basically cuddles you, feeds you, and helps you change clothes all the time, and yet all the germs seem to ignore him.

Jataka

Jataka was sick himself, he knows it all too well. As soon as he notices the first symptoms, he is very caring. Even if it’s just a flu, he doesn't downplay it.

He prepares for you an ayurvedic drink. Depending on your symptoms, he will choose the right recipe. He makes sure you drink all of it, so don’t even try to argue. It’s a waste of time, this man is too stubborn.

Jataka provides everything you need, he even brings you a book to read or he reads to you himself. He is cautious and keeps his distance, but that doesn’t stop him from being very strict: he makes sure you drink enough water and that you’re warm.

Every time he checks if you have a fever, he caresses your cheek with his finger before moving away. It's the only physical thing he can do right now to show you his affection.

Buddha

His first reaction is to tell you to lie down. It doesn't seem to bother him, because it’s just the flu. He had it when he was human, it’s not a big deal, especially if you have everything you need right under your nose. But secretly it eats him up inside, to the point where he can no longer eat sweets. So he shows up on your doorstep with his very casual attitude and starts asking questions. He checks if you’re hydrated, if you have a fever, if you need anything.

Buddha was born in present-day Nepal, so he follows ayurvedic… a little. He knows it’s not 100% effective, but he still finds some methods solid. He would make you brew containing honey, tusi leaves and lemon juice, and force you to drink it. It’s the best for the flu in his opinion.

He sits at the proper distance, eats his sweets and talks to you. He isn’t the worst companion you can get. Isn’t the best either… Do you know how good this candy is? Oh, right, you don’t, because you can’t taste *smirk* Don’t waste your pillow trying to hit him…

Loki

Let’s be honest, Loki probably isn’t the best person to take care of a sick person. At first, he acts annoyed when you announce your condition to him, but after awhile when he sees you struggling with the easiest tasks, he begins to worry. Seeing you in such weak shape makes Loki a little, a bit… soft.

From what I’ve researched, the Nords believed that sickness was an attack of malignant spirits (often ancestors) on the body. Loki obviously knows better what’s going on with you, but I wouldn’t be surprise if he mentions this fun fact to you. He was probably the one who sold people this nonsense in the first place. Let's just hope you're not hallucinating…

Loki prepares you tea with honey and entertains you with his new diabolical plans of how to mess with humans. He doesn’t even need you to be active in the conversation, but it's nice to see you smile or snort from time to time.

Loki doesn't follow any rules (i.e. keeps his distance, washes hands) and he will probably end up sick as well. Guess whose fault it is? And guess will have to take care of him? AND guess who won’t lie in bed and rest but spread germs everywhere? That’s right…

Kojirō Sasaki

He is the sweetest guy you could have by your side right now. A little clumsy, but he has got a spirit.

Considering how observant Kojirō is, he'll probably be the first to notice the symptoms. Even if you deny it, he will prepare for the possibilities ahead.

Sasaki would prepare for you hachimitsu-daikon - it’s Japanese form of cough and throat syrup, made from honey and Japanese radish. Kojirō would make it for you just like his mother did when he was a child.

Kojirō doesn’t mind missing a few days of training, you’re his priority. He is with you as long as you need and entertains you with stories from his life. He can read you something until you fall asleep.

He makes sure you’re hydrated, always brining you fresh water or preparing ginger tea called shoga-yu. He doesn’t try to make you anything else, because he is terrible at picking herbs and might accidentally poison you.

[sol-consort]

Omg, I don't know if you remember, but that shepard cam girl/streamer au you did, I absolutely loved it!! I loved Shepard being so nonchalant about being tits-out in front of the crew, also them passing around the video and being embarrassed about making eye contact with Shep. You killed me!! That was so good

Oh god, this one? I wrote it while half asleep, didn't expect anyone to read it. I just checked it over again–damn the amount of typos. I fixed as much as I could rn. Hopefully, it reads smoother.

But yes! I still adore the concept and would love to expand upon it.

The army life + staying on a ship in the middle of the galaxy and sharing space with your crew has got to result in a lot of accidental nudity and flashing situations. Someone new on warships–like Tali or Liara might find it surprising, feel a bit more shy, while someone like Shepard, who was the Normandy second in command during Captian Anderson days got used to it by now.

Or maybe it's a human army thing? Quarians can't strip for first aid because it will only worsen the situation, Krogans have their thick skin and shells, and Turian skin has metal outer plating.

Only humans are this squishy, easily injured, easy to tear into. Mix that with the fact that we have a pretty good immunity system that gives us high tolerance to different microbiomes and the most genetically diverse genes in the Mass Effect canon–Mordin mentions it in ME2—it's not hard to understand why a human soldier would nonchalantly strip on an alien planet, in the middle of the battlefield, just to ensure the wound is treated properly.

But it's still hot—Shepard's total disregard to having your tits out on full display, chest heaving with every breath. Your crew desperately trying to maintain eye contact and not get distracted by the way your bare tits bounce with every powerful command and order you bark at them.

Biotics grant people healing abilities, at least ingame. It's not strange for someone like Kaidan or Liara to act as an emergency medic while on the battlefield.

Kaidan attempts to stay professional, stuttering more than usual as the raspiness in his voice becomes more apparent courtesy of his dry throat.

The tips of his ears reddish, summoning all of his will to keep his finger study as he pressed against your wound with the disinfected pad. Having to lower himself into your naked form, his clothed chest almost fully pressing against your own. The hiss you let out as your nipples touch the cold metal surface of his armour—it almost makes his heart jump out from his ribcage–barely remaining collected by the end of it.

Sneaking one lustful glance at your still exposed chest on the shuffle ride back to the Normandy before forcing himself to look away, feeling ashamed of his actions, excusing himself to his own sleeping pod the second the crew is back on board.

-

Anyway, so streamer Shepard hmm.

Miranda would quickly catch wind of this open secret and become your number one patron under a fake pseudo name. She keeps toning in each stream, even if she's working, simply setting the tablet on the table while she files the papers away. Dropping big stacks occasionally whenever you do something she likes, using the carrot method to subtly get you to act more and more slutty, exactly how she likes it.

Samara convinced herself that as long as she only watches—no touching herself, no writing a comment, no sending any money–then it's basically okay and doesn't break her code. She does, however, pay attention to your frequent commenters, checking their profiles, tracking their other socials... just in case one of them crosses the line. It is her job to make this world a safer place for everyone, right?

Thane–oh god, poor Thane. His own Siha...? Humans sure are uh... more adventurous than he thought they were. Drells are moved by emotions and romantic feelings more than sexual ones. He has very little interest in pornagrophy in any form of media because he just can't get off to a stranger, someone he doesn't love. But once he discovers that it is you in those videos, his commander Shepard, his siha. A flood of emotions wash over him. It becomes a boderline addiction.

Thane especially knows about the common human porno trope of fucking a drell because of the skin acting as both a stim and an aphrodisiac. He wonders if you'd be open to...having him on the stream for that? Just to boost your views...no other reason :) Definitely not to sate some deep primal instinct within him, the need to state his claim by fucking you in front of all of your adoring fans, he is such a tender gentle soul, he would never have those possessive thoughts, right?....right?

The poor guy almost voices this suggestion out each time you come over for a little chat.

Jack would be your top commenter, not even under a fake profile or a different name. Straight up Jack with her own profile picture to boost. Spewing filth and ordering you around like her own personal whore. Of course you don't pay her any mind and only oblige her requests after you make her beg.

Garrus wants to join you so badly. Picture this, the first ever human/turian streamers ever since the war! It will be a hit with both planets. Your profile will skyrocket in popularity. Especially if this is in ME1 where the human-turian intergalactic relationship was still strained and tense. Meditate the tension between your civilisations by letting him stuff you full with his gaint blue glowing cock <3 huh huh!? A million credit worth idea right?

[crazylittlejester]

Hola! Do you have any advice an Wars’s characterisation? For example, how you feel he reacts to stress or his go to methods of connecting with people?

felt like you were the guy to ask :)

I FEEL SO HONORED IM BEING ASKED RN ALKJSLKSJS OH MY GOD

so this is all for how I personally characterize him, this is just my take on him feel free to do your own thing :)

For me, he has different levels of stress. For more minor things he’s able to just force it aside and push through whatever he’s doing, but for bigger things he gets quieter and snappier. Like ‘normal’ level of stress where he’s trying to figure out a battle plan for the chain but maybe it’s too loud and it’s hard for him to focus? He’s going to grit his teeth and power through, he’s not happy about it but he’s going to get it done. War of Eras battle planning? Late at night? He’s still trying to power through but maybe this time there are silent tears. Twilight is laying there dying and Time is preoccupied so watching out for all the others is up to him? Shockingly he’s keeping it together despite this being terrifying and extremely stressful, because in life or death situations he forces himself to be the rock for everyone else. It’s only once the real ‘stress’ is actually over that he allows himself to feel it, and with large events like that he’s quiet. He doesn’t speak as much, he looks more exhausted than he normally allows himself to appear, and when he does speak it’s very flat or a bit snappier than usual, which of course he does feel bad about, but at the time he can’t control

Either way, he doesn’t want his own stress to stop him from doing what needs to get done so he doesn’t deal with it in a healthy way. He’s suppressing it both cases, but in one he successfully files it away for later (it will of course come to bite him in the ass later down the line), and in the other case it’s overwhelming after the actual event has passed, and it’s very noticeable in his behavior (this excludes how i think he’d react in more trauma related situations)

For connecting with others, I think he struggles with it a bit. He’s definitely an extrovert, for me he’s loved talking with people his whole life, but due to everything he’s been through he cannot stop himself from mentally marking down peoples flaws and weaknesses and he feels bad about it, because here’s this person he’s trying to get closer to and his brain is like “here’s how to defeat them if they try to attack you”. He does not trust easily, and he definitely acts and presents himself a certain way towards people he doesn’t know/doesn’t know very well that is VERY different from how he presents himself around friends. I think he really connects with the others through shared experiences where the others do something kind for him they didn’t have to do, or do something to protect him. Like protecting him in a battle, or tossing him an extra fruit, or including him in little activities they’re doing, or even standing up for him in a bar. It helps him feel like maybe he can trust them. He is a kind person and he does nice things for the others in return, but he really connects with them when they’re doing something for him, because it makes him feel like he can allow himself to be closer to them

His trust cannot be earned with words, it must be earned through action and time

I also write him as a person who grew up very used to friendly, safe touch, and whose love language used to be giving hugs to show affection and care. He’s not the best with his words, and hugs used to be easier for him but because of trauma he can’t do that anymore. He has a very complicated relationship with physical touch now, and there are times where he really needs it but can’t actually handle it so he’ll sit away by himself. Over the years he’s gotten better with being able to allow himself to give out hugs or accept them, but that’s not an easy way for him to connect with people any more, so he connects with them and shows he cares through little acts. Wind ripped a hole in his tunic again? It’s fixed by morning, and Wind always just catches Warriors putting his needle and thread away. Wild’s scars are aching and he ran out of lotion somehow? There’s magically more in the bottom of his bag, and Warriors is seen walking away from it. Legend woke up from a nightmare and can’t fall asleep? Warriors will start reading his book aloud if he’s the one up on watch, and while Legend will probably never verbally thank him for it, it’s the fact that he’s able to go back to sleep within fifteen-thirty minutes that lets Warriors know it works and Legend is grateful for it

I headcanon sometimes it’s hard for him to physically connect with the others, but he shows his support and love in other little ways and connects with them that way :)

anyways sorry this took me so long to type out, I really hope it’s coherent and helpful :) and again, this is just how I personally characterize him this isn’t like, the only way to characterize him by any means, feel free to do whatever you’d like !!

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 07 ︴MAY 15, 2024

dear loass diary…

I just fully realized that I’ve been doing this like five minutes ago, so I had to write it here to get my thoughts out, make sure I don’t forget my realization, and hopefully have an epiphany.

So, context first. I’m sick rn and I remembered a specific part of one of Neville’s lectures where he said something along the lines of how a sick man wanted to be healthy so all he did was focus on being healthy. (semi-unrelated note to future self: Notice how I put “ALL HE DID” as in, that was the only thing he did? That’s because that’s the only thing he needs to do!! it’s all about having genuine awareness of obtaining your desires, stop over complicating it and trying to make excuses when u know damn well that’s all there is to the law). After remembering that I was like, “yo why don’t I try that” because why would I want to be sick?? So anyways I was like trying (emphasis on the trying) to imagine myself as my healthiest self and only be aware of being healthy. After two minutes of that, I decided to call it quits and thought to myself “hope it works.” GIRL WHATTT?? That’s my problem right there, I’m pretending even in my own imagination. I think I have myself fooled, that I’ve deceived myself into thinking that I believe I have what I want in imagination when I DONT. Right after my so called imagining I literally had the thoughts of a person who was sick, was aware and focused on my illness, and just overall identified as someone who caught a cold. and then, that’s when the common sense hit me and I was like “wait, who do I think I’m fooling?” It’s like I thought just because these circumstances exist in the 3D doesn’t mean they can’t also be in my imagination. It fr is like i see the 3D and 4D as something separate when that’s not at all the case. Because those thoughts of me being sick? That was a state, the was who I was in imagination. Who I am in imagination. Life truly is imagination. And I rlly feel that now. So, future me, let me try to help u out by telling u how to actually get into ur desired state and maintain it:

1. Decide u have it

“I have xyz” BOOM ur done, it’s done, because creation is finished. There is nothing to create in the 3D or the 4D, it already exists exactly the way u want it to, waiting for you. So act like it.

2. State ≠ instant gratification

I’m gonna hold ur hand while I say this, states aren’t here to be a relief or a distraction. They’re not meant to temporarily ease any anxiety u have. So stop treating the sowf as a temporary escape from the 3D, it’s real. and if u keep up this bad habit, if u start seeing the sowf as just a way to shut up ur worries without actually knowing it’ll come to pass, then you’re on a dangerous road that leads to believing the 3D is the real reality. And yk that it’s not.

3. Actually maintaining a state

U r meant to see the world from the perspective of ur desired self, the u that has it all. Why do u think it’s called the law of assumption girly? U gotta assume u already got it. My thing is, I have too much going on in my real life and I think “I don’t have time to be in the sowf I have too much on my mind.” That’s a problem because one, ur allowed to be a part of the 3D. U don’t have to pretend it doesn’t exist. And two, I’m identifying with the 3D and it’s circumstances. News flash, the 3D doesn’t just disappear the moment u say an affirmation or visualize a scene, u still have responsibilities. The trick is knowing that’s not u. U don’t have to be thinking like ur desired self 100% of the time so don’t expect urself too. Deal with ur stuff, but know who u actually are, who YOU chose to be. To maintain ur state, do whatever helps u feel like ur the u want to be. Revise ur day before bed, think the thoughts ur desired self would think, but don’t force anything. Forcing urself just means u feel like u don’t have what u want, and so ur desperate to get it, if u feel like u don’t have it, don’t force a method. Instead remind urself that it’s already done, it’s been done.u already decided that u had it, nothing can erase that decision except for u.

4. Getting used to it

Everytime I think of ur desired self remember that THAT IS U!! Not someone u could be or will be soon, BUT YOU RN. If u don’t feel that way, it’s because u identify with the 3D and ur past assumptions of urself, and we already discussed how that’s a huuuuuuggggeeeee no. Don’t force urself into getting used to it because, again, force means wanting to get something out of the 3D. But that’s not the real reality, so why want something from there when u can have what u want rn? Remember that ur imagination, ur awareness, ur consciousness, whatever u wanna call it won’t lie to u. It’s the most accurate reflection of both u and ur life. What u experience in there is ur real reality, whether that be the one u want or not. So girl, get used to being who u want to be. It’ll feel so weird at first, uncomfortable rlly. Cuz ik myself, the only way I’ll get in the state is if I keep myself in check. (going on a mental diet is okay if ur not doing it for the 3D, future self.)I’ll probably just be asking myself 24/7 “would my desired self think/react/feel like that?” And honestly, that’ll probably be the only way I’ll learn. Once u start correcting urself, for the sake of wanting to be ur desired self, it’ll come naturally. Both the habit of being in the state and ur manifestations

The law wasn’t mean to be tricky, how could it be when it’s literally called the law of assumption? There rlly isn’t much to it except assuming u have what u want by helping urself believe u have what u want, so stop trying to think there’s more to it— that it’s not that simple or easy. Ur wasting ur time with everything else, the overthinking, the wondering about the when and how, the over complicating, and the wondering if u did it right. Just be.

kisses, peachkkuma

[ddarker-dreams]

reading crime and punishment rn and i cant help but think what are chrollo's thoughts while reading this...he probably think he could do better and is confused with raskolnikov's guilt

this ask has me rolling up my sleeves . dostoevsky and chrollo in the same ask?? i'm running at top speeds.

i think the start of crime and punishment would make chrollo nostalgic, in a way. bring him back to the inception of the phantom troupe and when he first departed from meteor city. there are some interesting parallels between raskolnikov and a younger chrollo. both were intellectuals, impoverished, and aware that to obtain great accomplishments, they'll have to do things typically shunned in society's eyes.

i'm reminded of the line chrollo told uvogin after finding sarasa's corpse:

it's a melancholic mood, a begrudging acceptance, not delighting in the carnage that is to come.

maybe it's a stretch, but raskolnikov (at least at the start of C&P) and little chrollo are both somewhat adhering to nietzsche's übermensch concept. that an extraordinary being cannot be held to the same standards we hold others. in raskolnikov's case, he frequently compares himself to napoleon in seeking to justify his murder of the two women, best exemplified in this monologue here:

It was like this: I asked myself one day this question—what if Napoleon, for instance, had happened to be in my place, and if he had not had Toulon nor Egypt nor the passage of Mont Blanc to begin his career with, but instead of all those picturesque and monumental things, there had simply been some ridiculous old hag, a pawnbroker, who had to be murdered too to get money from her trunk (for his career, you understand). Well, would he have brought himself to that if there had been no other means? Wouldn’t he have felt a pang at its being so far from monumental and… and sinful, too? Well, I must tell you that I worried myself fearfully over that ‘question’ so that I was awfully ashamed when I guessed at last (all of a sudden, somehow) that it would not have given him the least pang, that it would not even have struck him that it was not monumental… that he would not have seen that there was anything in it to pause over, and that, if he had had no other way, he would have strangled her in a minute without thinking about it! Well, I too… left off thinking about it… murdered her, following his example."

the main difference between the two would be how they act after their respective murders. raskolnikov is burdened with guilt and anxiety to the point of being feverish, clearly incapable of committing such a deed again. we haven't seen chrollo's reaction after he killed for the first time, but seeing the person he went on to become, i'll infer any guilt he felt the first time (if any at all) was nowhere near as debilitating.

sonia brought raskolnikov back to his humanity after he strayed from it, chrollo had no such centering force. the nascent phantom troupe was willing to accept chrollo's methods. perhaps if sarasa was alive, she could've served the same purpose sonia did to raskolnikov, but we'll never know for sure.

imo, that'd be chrollo's main takeaway from the story. entertaining the various what-ifs.

[bastardsblood]

um hi hi hi so um

i know ur like, super inundated with reqs rn but see

my friend gave me an idea for a req and!!!

would u maybe be able to write for it?

i feel like,,, it'd be hot if lucius forced himself on viktor yk?!?!?! super hot!!

I'm so sorry for such a long wait!! I hope you enjoy this imagine. It is not beta-read, so there might be many mistakes. I apologize in advance!

Characters: Lucius & Victor

Scenario: Lucius forcing himself onto Victor

Content Warnings: Dubious consent, depravity

Frustration was not a nice feeling.

It wasn't a novel feeling by any means, of course. He couldn't help but let the tendrils burn hot in his veins anytime something wasn't going his way, or whenever there was a last missing puzzle piece to a solution to a problem he's been mulling over. Still, despite his annoyance, he prided himself on the fact he'd rarely ever let his emotions get the best of him. 

Though, his frustration wasn't often focused on a single person for so long it'd become a recurring problem in his life. 

—

Victor's appearance was plain. From a man's perspective, he was the type of a person one wouldn't feel threatened around, someone who was easy to underestimate and make a lackey of. His ginger hair would look terrible when slicked back, and unruly if kept messy. His small habits ranged from mildly amusing, to outright impolite. He'd circle his lips around and leave bite marks all over a pencil that didn't even belong to him, and only offer a feeble apology in return. He'd show respect to their noble visitors anytime they'd visit Lucius' family, and then completely forget about their existence until it was convenient for him. Despite acting like a good boy, he was incorrigible in his greed and ambition. 

Lucius thought of him to be rather unsightly at first. He was an opportunistic suck-up to both him and his parents who held his cards close to his chest while acting the role of an innocent yes-man. He let others underestimate him, for appearing harmless and interesting would further him in his goals.

Yes, he was unsightly. Still, Lucius found himself intrigued. 

—

Lucius wondered whether he'd turn out to be the same way as Victor had he been born to the lower class.

Alchemy was one of the only things that made him feel alive, and no doubt he'd pursue it even if the odds were against him. Like a moth to a flame, he's certain he'd find his way to alchemy no matter what.

And so, maybe a part of him was glad to have found a kindred spirit. Victor wasn't dumb, he knew Lucius saw right through him, and yet continued with his façade of being unable to hurt even a fly nonetheless. Though, with a bad personality like Lucius', he couldn't help but provoke him here and there. 

A clever mental trap, occasional humiliation tactics and annoyingly oblivious behaviour. Victor eventually learned how to deflect each and every one of these. Lucius found it rather exhilarating and exciting; this unspoken yet mutual game of theirs. He wanted to find what would make Victor tick to the point he'd even consider rather low-brow methods. 

It wasn't anything severe at first, just a teasing touch. Lucius barely remembers what kind of excuse he came up with, it most likely had to do with just how bony Victor's hands were. He took hold of them, and circled his thumb and forefinger around each one of his digits, squeezing them as he went. 

Victor looked flabbergasted at first, until his eyes showed slight irritation after darting to look at Lucius' expression. He immediately understood it was a part of their 'game'.

Ever since then, Lucius would invade his privacy when in a particularly petty mood. Victor would never chicken out despite every fibre of his body wanting to relent and pull away. It was an easy victory for Lucius, or at least, that's how the point system in his head worked. 

He was ticking his victories until Victor cunningly adapted. While uncertainty would still occasionally flash on his face, he now leaned closer and acted oblivious to anything Lucius attempted. Once, Lucius noted with both amusement and bitterness, he repeated a suggestive sounding line that Lucius sneeringly said exactly as two servants were passing by. It was intended to make Victor's hair stand on end, and yet it backfired tenfold. 

What a difficult opponent this mischievous boy was. 

Ah, how fun it is. 

—

Lucius thought he was crossing a certain line. 

Their shenanigans continued alongside their studies and duties, and maybe they even increased in frequency. For someone as careful as Lucius, he shamefully had to admit he went overboard when it came to Victor. Still, he didn't think he did it so much it'd start circulating rumours about him. 

It was at a dinner party held by his parents' friends. Fine décor and expensive clothes were a given at these events, as only the best of the best gets presented at nights like these. The behaviour was supposed to be proper and respectful, even through the occasional playfulness. 

The nobles hosting this family knew the etiquette and rules well, all for the exception of one of their sons. 

Lucius mingled with many a person during these occasions, building up relationships and strengthening bonds with people that his parents failed to charm. In fields that his parents were lacking in, he excelled at—and surely, the noble society had gathered as much. Thus, it was a rather unpleasant encounter to hear words being spoken of him that weren't praise or the prickly comments born from envy. 

The younger nobleman had people flocking around him, listening to his every word. To say he was subtle would be an overstatement, as he'd glance at Lucius any chance he'd get as if to convict him to something. Thinking of it as curious, Lucius invited himself to the conversation as well. 

He'd eventually wish he didn't. 

—

Of all of the preposterous rumours the noble society could come up with, theories about his inclinations were not ones he thought he'd ever find himself in. 

The noblemen he's been acquainted with struggled to keep conversations with him that weren't purely small talk, acting as if just being in Lucius' presence was a transgression. Although Lucius found the situation rather hilarious, he didn't like the feeling of being rejected. These people are valuable stepping stones, and yet they're shying away from him as if he's filth. 

Victor would eventually reveal he's been in the know through the means of a lighthearted joke, most likely due to the rambling of some servants. It was a lighthearted comment, emphasised by a huff of amusement and disbelief, and Lucius merely raised his eyebrows in a silent show of exasperation. It's become an inside joke of sorts, acting in ways that'd surely serve only to exaggerate the rumours, all the while passing the comments as ridiculous blasphemy. 

And maybe, Lucius let loose a bit too much. As much as he liked putting effort into his appearance and image, doing whatever came to his mind had its own charm. From painting Victor's nails with black ink that one time he fell asleep in his room, to tickling the man with a feather after winning a game of chess. It was childish, it was improper, but it felt exciting. People's reactions eventually grow boring and stale, but with Victor and his many variables, it felt like trial and error to get a specific reaction from him that he'd want. Additionally, the ginger became irritably good at guessing what he was going to do next, and although Lucius' chest brimmed with pride at this smart boy whose ownership he unofficially held, it also made him prepare plans and games instead of sleeping peacefully. 

Still, a moment of impulsiveness was what led to Lucius seeing an expression he wasn't going to forget anytime soon. 

Victor was in a particularly giddy mood that day, a clear indicator that something was going his way a lot more easily than he would've thought. Their banter was quick and witty, their hands animated and alive as they acted the part of stereotypical noble couple's courting. Lucius thinks it was due to Victor asking about how dating worked in the noble society, with himself exaggerating the details until they started playing a bit. He remembers laughing at Victor for using a ruler as a makeshift fan, and then leaning closer towards the man so quickly that their teeth clicked together. It wasn't anything he did with intent, but once he found himself in a spot like that, his tongue slid its way up Victor's upper lip. It was merely playful behaviour, and Lucius already had a line of an innocent maiden's first kiss prepared, until it died in his throat at the sight of Victor's expression. 

Immediately, Lucius felt like he had made a mistake. It wasn't often that he felt unsure about his actions, but with Victor looking at him with wide eyes and an expression that betrayed discomfort rather than mischievousness, his smile fell and he stopped himself in his tracks. As soon as his smile disappeared, Victor's rose again, but Lucius felt little to no satisfaction from it. It was a smile he'd show to strangers, someone around whom he had to keep his guard up, and although he didn't leave, Lucius nearly wished he would've. It felt like Lucius found himself in a new, unknown territory than the one he's gotten used to. Or rather, found himself in a territory in which other people were settled in, but never him, for he was much closer to Victor than the rest. 

And maybe something bothered him about it with intensity a bit too strong for his liking. Victor was putting on the face of an unbothered man so shamelessly that it made Lucius tick. Still, if he pointed it out, he'd be acknowledging what just happened—including their 'game'. In a sense, it'd immediately count as his loss, and Lucius couldn't afford that. And so, the rest of their time together was spent without a speck of authenticity. 

Still, he could've sworn his cheeks had been a brighter colour than before. 

—

One thing that stayed constant throughout the years was that Victor followed him everywhere he went. 

With the exception of places where seeing a noble's son and their commoner neighbour would turn them into laughingstock, Victor would easily tag along despite not being invited. By some, it'd be regarded as cheeky, but by Lucius, it was merely another part of his incorrigible personality. Lucius would joke about him being his stand-in knight, or maybe a manservant in case he went shopping, ready to protect him from the dangers of the poor society. Despite the jab at his station, Victor would usually laugh it off and give a dramatic response that'd make even Lucius' eyes roll. 

Though, Victor's presence currently felt more akin to a second shadow than a companion. He'd walk in a pace deliberately slower than Lucius' and wouldn't let himself get caught in his thoughts anytime Lucius slowed down to get him right by his side. An invisible wall was built between them now, and Lucius could only mull over who had been the one to build it. Anytime they'd see an acquaintance of theirs, Victor would go back to his usual self and converse as usual, even going as far as to set up jokes for Lucius to take advantage of in order to give a witty reply. To a bystander's eye, they were the same as always. 

And that's why it annoyed Lucius. 

—

Lucius had a strange dream that night. 

Everything around him felt soft like cotton, and yet addicting as candy. The air smelled sweet enough to make him dizzy, and no matter how hard he tried, his knees always failed him whenever he tried to stand up from his luxurious bed. There were other people in the room, naked shadows of attractive people that he had seen in passing, and they mingled with one another. Despite being without company, he still felt as if he was the birthday kid of this party, as if everything they were doing was for his entertainment. 

—Care for a heart? 

An androgynous voice rang beside him. There stood a tall shadow that felt different from the rest, its clothing being similar to his own white blouse and vest. Lucius opened his mouth to ask about what it meant by that, and yet his body merely nodded. It felt less like he was in control, and more so that he was at someone's mercy. Despite the shadow not having any facial features, he could feel it confidently smile. 

The shadow extended his hand and crossed it over his chest to respectfully bow to Lucius, and the black-haired boy could only watch as the shadow's hand turned into sharp claws that he nonchalantly dug into his sternum. Lucius could hear squelching sounds coming from the inside of his chest, until a bloody heart got pulled out. Blood oozed from the shadow's wound, and yet it barely showed any signs of pain. Rather, the shadow loomed over Lucius and almost teasingly pushed him by his shoulder until his back was fully placed on the bed. Then, after a soft caress to his cheek, the irregularly beating organ was forced into his mouth. 

It seemed to melt in his mouth, a fleshy sensation being replaced with fluid. It travelled down his throat and into his belly, where he felt himself connecting with the shadow. Despite the peculiar situation, he felt strangely sated and excited for something. He wasn't sure for what—until the shadow hummed with glee. 

The shadow's appearance turned more human with each passing second, the black that was covering it until now being washed down like mud. The part of the shadow that he swallowed sounded like it was singing his praises for accepting him, for wanting to see the true self of the dark husk it was before. It drummed in his veins with anticipation, for he was becoming one with the one longed for. 

The shadow's features became clearer, and Lucius could see half of someone's smile. It looked precious, and Lucius couldn't help but smile back. He felt himself being pulled closer to the shadow, and he closed his eyes in contentment. He felt sticky liquid run down his clothes, but not a single part of him minded when his heart was beating for the two of them so beautifully. The shadow kissed his ear, and Lucius stifled a laugh at the tickling sensation. 

Pulling away from the embrace, his smile faded when he caught sight of red hair. 

—

Whatever Victor was doing to him, he hated it. 

He'd reel him back in exactly as Lucius was starting to accept the wedge in their relationship, and then pull back right away when Lucius began to stabilise himself. Was it still a part of the game, or was Victor merely tormenting Lucius for the fun of it? If this was some sick idea born from the want to have them on equal footing, Lucius would sneer and say he was overdoing it. Lucius didn't see anyone as his proper equal, but Victor was the closest thing to it. 

Victor wasn't a pet. Victor wasn't a servant. Victor wasn't some entertainment to him like he was to his parents. Victor was a… Friend, as strange as it was to call somebody that and mean it genuinely. 

But, Lucius was beginning to think he wanted him to be more. 

—

Their conversation was the same as always. 

Victor traced the edges of a rare gem while he only half-listened to what Lucius was saying, while Lucius was filtering through pages and pages of useless information in the books he's been handed. They joked and they theorised, despite the awkward air still making itself present here and then. 

Despite that, Victor never broke the occasional silence with questions of why the door was locked. 

Lucius' chest swelled with a small sense of pride at that. Victor was equally as adamant as him when it came to this game, a sore loser through and through. He'd back off when at a disadvantage, and strike back when his opponent was unsuspecting; a nice strategy that Lucius never grew tired of despite his occasional anger. Victor's presence was like honey; sweet and relaxing at first sight, but troublesome when you realise you've latched yourself onto him and can't pry yourself away. In a way, wasn't this all Victor's fault? With a good heart and clear conscience, he made people feel comfortable around him and confide in him, but only so he'd secure himself favours. Maybe Lucius was like a jackpot to him, and so he stuck around long enough to make even a tougher target such as himself get soft. 

Still, Lucius was as ruthless as ever when it came to competition. 

Victor was at a point where he could school his expression into a neutral one despite the occasional touches. He didn't react to Lucius trailing his finger around his earlobe, nor did he speak up when Lucius' hand started pulling down at the collar of his sweater to reveal his collarbone. His eyes remained pointed forward, stubbornly refusing to grant Lucius a reaction. Maybe if he had slapped Lucius' hand away when he flinched at the contact of his knuckles against his bare stomach, Lucius wouldn't have gotten greedy. 

Lucius continued the pointless conversation, and Victor replied in kind. He was quieter than usual, which could easily be chalked up to not wanting to let out an embarrassing sound. His sweater was rolled up on the floor by now, and his unbuttoned shirt didn't hide much by this point. His fists would clench harder with each pump of Lucius' hand around his cock, and yet the man would still refuse to acknowledge the situation beyond that. Lucius' other arm was slung over the ginger's shoulders, his body so close to him that his hand could reach to grope his chest. Still, even as his finger kneaded his nipple, Victor would still only look at his reflection in the glass-like gem. 

The room started to smell of perspiration and the emphasised scent of Victor, and maybe Lucius enjoyed it just a little bit. His own breathing became somewhat laboured, and his words held a sultry tone he hadn't heard himself use before. This was wrong, and Lucius scoffingly thought to himself that he didn't care anymore. Victor occupied too much of his brain to care about morality or about what's 'right'. Just as Victor was using him, he'd use him back and take everything he wanted, for Lucius was equally as gluttonous as him. 

The pink that went from his cheeks to his ears, the teeth that bit into his own lip to keep himself silent, the fluttering eyelashes, the squeezing of his thighs—it was all so novel, all so mesmerising. 

Lucius wanted to see more, and more, and more.

—

When he finally climaxed, Lucius couldn't really see his eyes. 

He didn't push Lucius away, nor did he pull him closer. He merely waited for Lucius to get his fill of him and retract his hand back to his side. Then, after a couple of shaky, unsure breaths, he quietly asked where the keys were. 

Lucius handed them over to him without protest, a hint of a grin on his face. He bid him a goodnight, even as the older man struggled to get clothed through his shaking body. 

Despite everything that's happened, Victor still stopped by the doorstep. He didn't face Lucius, almost as if he'd crumble if he did, and merely wished him goodnight back. 

Lucius smiled. 

Neither of them acknowledged the game today either. 

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko EP4. Tea Party

When I think about how the encounter between Sayo and Maria I can't help but feel so sad... I can't imagine what kind of conversation the dead inside Sayo and Maria had, but I assume by then both wanted to go into the Golden Land and be done with it. They are pretty clear it seems Maria took the poison 100% willingly.

...right Battler, unless said killer is threatening you to do just that.

They spell out a bunch of stuff in this section for you, too. They make it clear the murder method is simply a gun, they ram the stakes after death, etc. Nothing you couldn't figure out but its more explicit.

I don't know if they explicitly explain what Shannon did but I imagine she used a similar trick to Episode 2, just this time it's more effective because the gun would go all the way down the well instead of just behind a drawer.

By the description, you can definitely tell this was just meant to be a prank, when Battler saw them through the windows they were probably alive I doubt Battler would have just missed them getting shot in the fact and the blood etc. Battler talks about it's due to defiling their corpses but like, she could have hanged their corpses for real after killing them if that was the intent.

And then Battler gets nuked off Earth.

The way Battler deteriorated so rapidly due to Ange is so sad.... Beatrice is obviously acting very differently and he can't be arsed to even comment on it.

It's interesting how these scenes start out with believable theories... not quite right but getting somewhere. Because then you can start believing Beatrice isn't throwing and when it becomes really obvious it did, ie food bomb, you might be too into the scene to notice.

The rewriting of Kinzo as Beatrice's protector kind of grosses me out tbh but oh well that's how Battler sees things rn.

100% hit here, though, Battler!

The reason she goes for this is very important, it feels like a non-argument, obviously she had many arguments to make if she really wants to win. But she chose to test if Battler was going to make any effort to understand her or magic.... and got a resolute no.

"From the very beginning, he has been fighting to deny the individual I am"....

At this point, any sort of understanding being given to Sayo feels like an impossibility, In this moment the eternal lie she could have gotten feels like a dream.

Imagine driving someone over to suicide and then geting angry they aren't fighting back enough. God damn it Battler.

He keeps giving her flickers of hope and immediately blowing them away....

Battler!!! Think about why she wouldn't do that!!! Just a little more effort!!!

And so, Sayo is forced to toy with her own corpse in order to ease Battler's conscience.

It's kind of funny how she can't actually red truth that Natsuhi's gun wasn't messed with, IIRC it was mentioned in the manga the bullets were taken out.

Stop pushing all of your family's sins into Beatrice, Battler.

men will literally talk about small bombs before saying the room wasn't locked.

Wrong process, kind of correct answer, though?

When Battler starts showing sympathy, she plays up the persona to rile him up again...

Hhahahaa.... well she's more right than she probably knows here.

You are going to make me cry here Battler.... don't say that about her. She already believes that about herself enough.

Who am I....?

[irisreality]

so in 8th grade I wanted to manifest my crush to ask me out- but didn’t and in 9th grade- I tried manifesting him but I just couldn’t and now I’m in 10th and idk what to do- it feels so draining- like idk how to do stares or dwell in the state- and I feel like I have to affirm every second cuz when I start affirming- I keep forcing myself to do it more and more then I get disappointed when nothing shows up- so I’m tryna ask- how do I manifest my sp- or my crush to ask me out- and how do I it rlly quick? like— it’s Saturday rn and it’s 6:49 pm- how do I affirm to get the text within five minutes- or not even affirm- idc what it is that I do as long as I get a text by sp ( a dm on Insta- not a iMessage ) that’s basically him telling me he likes me? Tyson

first of all hello my dear and thank u for trusting me enough to answer your request 🫶.

second of all, RELAX, BREATH, inhale, and exhale my dear and remember who tf you are, you are the creator and the godess of your reality like ? idk why the stress and the frustration about a guy and I'm not judging u nor decreasing the importance of him in your life.

"I tried manifesting him but I just couldn’t and now I’m in 10th and idk what to do". we don't manifest hun, ain't nothing like manifestation, everything is already done and exists inside of you u have to just assume, decide and persist. I'm sorry for all this but the whole goal of the LOA is to have fun while doing this not to cry and be upset, and the whole thing is to seek validation and confirmation only from your imagination not this 3D, the whole thing is about living in the end and giving yourself the thing in your imagination which is the only source tbh, u have to keep imagining your sp texting or marrying u or however u want him to act till it became completely normal and the feeling stops being euphoric and start seems normal to u, till u reach the sabbath state, u gotta FULFILL YOURSELF until the whole thing became your reality hun.

I can give u some videos that'll help u: Rita Kimnsiki is amazing in this video, u can use the whisper method it litt helped me so much, Chalsea is also doing a great job u can watch this video f her, there's a whole guide on how to manifest your SP in 20 days.

finally, remember who you are again and work on your self-concept hun, you don't chase you're the PRIZE.

[ssasse3]

blog 2

hellooo

i didnt upate yesterday cuz i just fell asleep after class. i made friends with the gay guy but unfortunatly , hes fucking annoying. Hes those snaptchat kids, which like, wtf, at your grown age, but thats not the problem. like all his conversations are on snap but on top of that he always takes videos and pics of him at every second to send them to everyone, still not an issue to me. BUT he takes pictures of ME when i told him NO and forced me multiple times to take videos to send it to his dumbass gc after i said NO. he also forced me to have a txt convo and when i was being dry (i didnt give in he just started voicerecording me), he told me not to act like that even after i told him that i never agreed and hes forcing me like a weirdo. hes overall insufferable but hes in all my law classes an insted on staying w me. but as we say 'if you dont like smtg, just take away its only power. your attention". thats what ill be doing, besides my school studies are getting rigours so im better of cutting all distractions, positive or not. my new laptop is coming tmr so itll be easier for me to type and learn how to use computers (rn my hands are cramping, i think i own a 17 inch laptop). tmr i hope i looks as badass as i always do, not sweat, understand my class and get into workkkk. friday ill be having an exam so much concentration will be needed for my studying. ill try to use the blurting method and see how that works out for me. i also pray that my stupid ass singular fucking forehead pimple disappears amen. finally and foremost, i hope i can finally get indian mcdonalds pack.

thats it bye

[prentissluvr]

hi! not sure if rqs are open rn, so i wont request anything rn, just wanted to say i absolutely adore your writing!! youre probably my favorite author that i've discovered on here so far! <333

also! haha i feel silly asking, but do you have any tips for new/aspiring writers? im looking to start writing fanfics, but i feel like im kinda awful at writing 😭😭 i think my problem is a lack of like.. emotions behind it?? like.. IDK im not sure how to make it really come to life.. it seems so dry and lifeless when i write?? im not sure how to describe it. hope this isnt a bother, have a super great day!! ^__^ much love

hello there sweetest!! this is such a sweet message ahhh thank you so so much!! like seriously wow that is such a kind and flattering thing for you to say about me, you're making me feel so special heheheh <333 i'll be thinking about this a lot that's for sure!! grinning like an idiot right now for real <33

as for requests, general reqs are closed but i have an event going on right now that is very open for requests! you can request a drabble or other type or req on there or you can wait until i reopen requests! which will be after i finish the event, likely in a couple of weeks!

as for your question, that's not silly at all to ask! writing can be overwhelming at first because there's so much that you see out there and a lot of it can be very different and feel like something you can't quite achieve, plus you don't have a set method of how you go about things yet as you first start! so don't feel silly at all!!

i wrote a lot more than i intended so i apologize for how long this got!

i'm gonna be sort of blunt here, but i mean it will all the love in my heart i promise. unless you are like a total natural with some sort of god given talent for writing, i sort of don't think it's possible to not suck a little bit when you first start. when i first started writing IT SUCKED SO BAD!!! and that's okay! basically i think it is so so important for new writers to not set their expectations too high, especially because writers you might be comparing yourself to have been practicing for years (in my case it's been 6 years already which is crazy lol). it's so so so okay for your writing not to be any sort of masterpiece, it can be basic or cringe or lack depth or be all of those things at once, because genuinely i think that's where we all started. i think the act of just writing, no matter what the quality is, is the most important part of getting into it.

that being said, it's great to seek out advice or ways to make your writing better. that's something i disregarded for a long time lol so if you're actively trying to improve your writing, you'll grow faster!

also, writing is just hard in general! and one of those really hard things is definitely putting emotion into your writing, especially if you feel like you're forcing it. i don't necessarily have like solid step by step advice for this issue, but i hope that something i say could be of help to you!

i think that the best way to bring your writing to life is probably to focus on the emotions and the liveliness of your characters. sometimes as writers we may become too focused on getting the plot right or getting the characters from point a to b, but it's really important to slow down and add details about what the characters feel as they move from point a to b and what's motivating them to do so. it's okay to abandon the plot for a good paragraph or two just to describe what the characters are feeling about the situations that you're putting them in.

i think that two ways i use to bring a character to life is through expressing their emotions and their wants! for emotions, you can simple just state them! it works effectively and remains readable. you can state emotions within your prose, while describing voices/how someone said something, or through actions and facial expressions. ex: "he was upset because ..." | "... she says, sounding annoyed/happy/literally any emotion." | "his eyebrows were pinched in worry." | "they rolled their eyes at the suggestion."

for wants, i think it works similarly! what a character wants is such a big part driving force of how they are going to act. what are they doing about that want? are they acting on it or not? if you write "in that moment, all you want to do it kiss her. but you don't," then it's pretty clear what your character is feeling about "her", but it's also showing that they are also feeling hesitant because of some other thing in play. and i think a big part of bringing life to things is showing how characters feel + what they want and how that interacts with their circumstances, or creates conflict or solutions. that all being said! start simple and try not to overthink that sort of thing! it just could be nice to have that idea floating around in the back of your mind as you work.

dialogue may also be a part of this! for more realistic or lively dialogue, see how the lines feel when you say them out loud (whispering or mouthing them can work too! or just trying to read it in the sort of tone/way you're imagining it would be said!) this helps me see if it sounds natural.

another factor is just going to be personal style, and of course that comes with time and just continuing to write! while you read books or fanfic, try to figure out what you think makes that writing come to life, and don't be afraid to try and emulate that in your own writing! but most importantly, be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grow! and don't be afraid to keep asking for advice or anything like that! there's plenty of people like me who are willing to beta read or edit or give feedback on things you've written if that's something you want. you can also start out just writing for yourself until you feel comfortable publishing it, again if that's something you want.

once again, sorry this is so so long lol but i do hope something here can be of help to you!! i also was already thinking about making a writing tips post when you sent this ask, and since it turns out i've got a lot to say LOL i'll also be posting a list of a few writing tips that i've got floating around in my brain!

[aceofshitposts]

update: no change except now being damp

gonna rant more cuz i have no shame at this point i guess and it's my blog i'll rant if i want to

my therapist has been encouraging me to do "opposite actions" whenever i feel down instead of acting on whatever the initial impulse is

which is a valid method of treatment it just doesn't seem to be working and it's making me feel worse when my hands shake in the middle of making lunch and causing me to crack an egg all over myself cuz i'm trying to force myself to be normal and instead i'm just having a breakdown during whatever task

i've also been havining a hard time talking to anyone unless they talk to me first. i don't know my only topic i seem capable of mentioning is that i'm constantly lonely and sad which is. not a super engaging topic let's be real! but even then ill have conversations with friends while. literally being in the midst of a breakdown. even if they're making me happy cuz they said something funny. like the depression and anxiety are still there just layered under whatever we're talking about

and i'm constantly lonely and it feels like i'm watching everyone through glass and feeling like i'm intruding on group conversations and just. i don't belong anywhere. maybe the group chat before but i've fucked that all up now and i can't stop thinking about what happened and how selfish i am

basically everything in my head is a mess lmao. i've got an appointment with a psych next week cuz my therapist and gp think i need meds which is probably true the only problem is the last time i was on antidepressants i continued to be depressed and so became horrifically physichically ill for like a month before they took me off again.

so i guess we'll see how that fucking goes

anyway yeah. i guess that's everything right now sorry for the lack of writing, i'm slowly working on a few things bt it's hard rn lol

been exactly one week since my last vent post that's kind of funny lmao my mental health really is on a weekly cycle aint it lmaooo

anyway feeling Bad once again tried making food and going for a walk but just ended up having breakdowns in the middle of both i guess i'll try a shower next wish me luck i have a dehydration headache lmao

[noteguk]

Hey nala! I loved bad attitude, I can’t wait to see more of the oc teasing jk 😭

Thank you!! I really like exploring the dark side of the force that overtakes the oc every once in a blue moon. So I hope you guys like this one! (The timeline is after bad reputation, but before bad attitude) 

[ ! ] this is a drabble for bad influence. You can read it as a stand-alone. 

— contents and warnings; pwp, smut, sexting, badboy!Jungkook x goodgirl!reader, enemies with benefits/enemies to lovers, dirty talk, taking and sending pics (not nudes), jk’s skirt thirst, a glimpse into the chaos that lives inside the oc 

— words; 1,2k

~ 

Years of high school (and now college) excellence did wonders to disguise your impulsive side. It was a common misconception to believe that, just because you were disciplined enough to keep your grades high and your responsibilities in check, you didn’t act on dumb, random thoughts that popped up inside your head. You kind of wished it was true (it would’ve saved you a lot of drama in your personal life) but you also had to admit that you had your fun indulging in your more chaotic needs as well. 

Jungkook’s answer came quickly, but not as quickly as you had first expected. Which meant that he was either busy or distracted — past tense — and that it would be slightly more fun than you thought. 

With a smirk growing on your lips, you turned around on the bed, reaching for your phone. His answer was simple, only one word, but it was more than enough for you to realize that your machiavellian plan would be fruitful. 

jk tutoring 🚫: dont.

If years of perfecting self-restraint didn’t stop you, his half-assed warning wouldn’t. With your phone in hands, you propped yourself up on your elbows as you typed a response. 

You: Why not? 😔

As you nervously waited for his text, the picture you had previously sent him was staring you right in the face. It wasn’t anything outrageous, just a simple mirror selfie of you sitting on the edge of your bed, legs crossed and head slightly tilted to the side. It was something so innocent, so gentle and casual, that you could almost pretend that you didn’t know exactly what you were doing when you picked that skirt.

It wasn’t any revolutionary discovery to claim that Jungkook had a thing for your skirts — he had mentioned about a million times already and, even if he hadn’t, it was extremely obvious from the way he explored your body with a lot more eagerness when you wore one. What was a revolutionary discovery, however, was the piece of clothing you found hiding in the corner of your closet, something you had long discarded because Yongsun had managed to shrink it the first time she washed it. 

It was practically impossible to wear it outside, but, well, it was the perfect tool to provoke Jungkook with. Because if karma didn’t take care of him, you would. 

Finally, his messages popped up on your screen: 

jk tutoring 🚫: in a lab rn dont wanna get hard thx

jk tutoring 🚫: but it looks rlly fucjing hot 

jk tutoring 🚫: wanna see you riding me in it bby 

jk tutoring 🚫: in front of that mirror ;) 

You bit your lip, bubbles of expectation starting to pop in your stomach. Sexting Jungkook was the free trial of being a chess genius — you were always ten steps ahead, predicting his following words with almost perfect accuracy. Was it mean, perhaps a little twisted of you to be doing that while he was (miraculously) in class? Maybe. But you had a lot of things in your mind and mercy wasn’t one of them. Especially after the months of torture he had put you through. 

You: whatever you want 🥰 

You: I’m surprised you even go to class tho, that’s news 

jk tutoring 🚫: u took the day off to pester me? 

You: maybe I did

You: maybe I’m also home alone for the rest of it 

jk tutoring 🚫: dont fucking say that 

In true supervillain fashion, you had to laugh at his apparent desperation — a high-pitched, victorious laugh that seemed to come straight from your soul. Jungkook very rarely found himself in that position and you absolutely lived for it. It was one thing to provoke him in person, when he was much stronger than you and could shut you up in no time, but, through the screen, only equal rights. And equal methods of torture.

You: why? You don’t wanna come over? 

jk tutoring 🚫: u kno I do 

jk tutoring 🚫: ill ttyl

You: not later!! Now 🥺 

jk tutoring 🚫: baby this isn’t the best moment 

jk tutoring 🚫: Im already hard n im almost done here ok

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, giving the angel and the demon on your shoulders time to present their case. The collected, rational part of you told you to leave it at that: he would come over later, you had managed to provoke him enough to piss him off and get the reaction you wanted. You won. But the impulsive, evil side of you told you that you didn’t win hard enough. 

Before you could think too much about it, you took another picture, feeling blessed enough to get a good shot on your first try. Your thumbs flew over the keys, typing fast to get the message sent before Jungkook decided to put his phone away. 

You: but these are the panties that you like 😔 

Like clockwork, there was a long moment of tension between your message being viewed and those little dots appearing at the corner of your screen. Once again: you knew exactly what you were doing. And you knew that a picture taken underneath your skirt, presenting him with a full view of your red laced panties, would be the cherry on top. 

jk tutoring 🚫: I fucjing hate u

You: don’t think you do 

jk tutoring 🚫: im saving these 

jk tutoring 🚫: gonna fuck u so hard bby 

jk tutoring 🚫: not even gonna take those off 

jk tutoring 🚫: just gonna push them aside n see u coming all over my cock 

Playing like that with Jungkook was like russian roulette — only, it was only you, and all chambers were filled. You knew it would backfire, you knew that the second he walked in your room all your control would go flying out the window, and yet you pushed on. Impulsiveness was a drug for someone that rarely indulged in it, and you were too high to care about the consequences when they seemed so far away. Or, even worse, when you kind of liked them. 

That was what pushed you to write your following messages: 

You: come over now? Please? 

jk tutoring 🚫: wait like 10 min we’re wrapping up 

You: now 🥺 

You: I’m so wet kook 

You: my panties are soaked 

You: don’t you wanna come and take them off? 

You: Or maybe I can take care of myself today and I can see you another day 😔

jk tutoring 🚫: dont fucking dare

You: I bet I could come super quick too I’m so turned on 

You: I want to feel you inside me 

You: I’m so tight too I can barely put my fingers in

You: please? Come over? 

Checkmate. The forces of chaos inside you were rejoicing, every cell of your body anticipating the impact of your words. You, however, already knew you had won even before he answered you. 

jk tutoring 🚫: im coming over rn

~

check out the rest of the bad influence collection!

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