#they are a WHOLE MESS they need SO MUCH THERAPY they make each other WORSE and then make each other BETTER

[usertoxicyaoi]

"Is that all?"

THE NOVELIST (2018). EPISODE THREE.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

(@hermitdrabbles56) The evening was a comfortable one, neither too hot nor too cold. The porch at Lon Lon Ranch was almost large enough to accommodate everyone, which was good enough - Time, Four, Legend, Sky, and Warriors were all lounging in various rocking chairs listening to crickets and birdsong while Wild and Twilight fussed over the horses, Wind talked to the token pig they owned, and Hyrule watched lizards scurry about near the dark, moist parts of the porch.

It was a quiet evening, and Four appreciated that. No one had much to say, and no one demanded conversation. They all needed the silence to recover from their insane lives.

But something was nagging the ICU nurse, and he had to break the moment, just a hair. He spoke up quietly, commenting, “I had a patient last night who was absolutely miserable. Nauseous and felt awful. And I… didn’t feel bad? Like, it didn’t stress me out like I had to fix it in that instant. Is… is that a good thing?”

He needed to know. He’d barely been a nurse for a year, and he felt like his empathy was already slipping out of him, drained from constantly taking on people’s problems and pain for twelve hours at a time while juggling all the decision making involved in keeping them alive.

Warriors hummed thoughtfully from his rocking chair, staring out at the trees. “Eh.”

Four blinked. “Eh? That’s it?”

“Eh,” Legend agreed with a shrug.

Now they were just messing with him, weren’t they? “I’m serious, guys, this is bothering me.”

“We’re serious too,” Warriors said. “Empathy is important, but you can’t let your concern and empathy turn into anxiety or distraction. It hurts to see others miserable, but it can’t stop you when you have to get things done.”

“Not to mention it’s draining as hell,” Legend muttered.

Four sighed, pondering the matter. He glanced at the other two on the porch for input, but Sky was snoring and Time looked too pensive for words. The surgeon did glance at him a moment, though, and their eyes met.

Time sighed. “It’s a balancing act. But it is far easier to lose touch with the human side of healthcare than I care to admit.”

Their words reminded him of another observation he’d made since working on the ICU. “Everyone on my unit is in therapy. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?”

Warriors shifted in his seat. “I mean… I guess good? It means they’re getting help.”

“Tch. Please.” Legend immediately quipped. “Everyone treats therapy like it’s some miracle cure. Something wrong? Go get therapy. Whole freaking world needs therapy! Give me a break.”

Time glanced at the nurse, raising an eyebrow and saying sternly, “Therapy doesn’t magically fix things, it’s true. But it does mean you’re trying to fix things and it gives you the tools to work on it.”

“I wonder if I need therapy,” Four blurred out before he could stop himself.

Time smiled reassuringly when the ICU nurse blushed. “Malon says everyone in healthcare needs therapy.”

The porch grew silent, everyone suddenly pointedly ignoring each other before Legend finally looked at Wars and said, “So you in therapy, then?”

Warriors laughed a little waving his hands quickly as if swatting a big. “Heavens no, I don’t need that. There are people far worse off than me, and not enough therapists out there for everyone.”

“What about you, Legend?” Four asked.

Legend shrugged, face growing neutral as he watched the sun set. “Nah, I’m fine.”

Four frowned. “So everyone in the ICU is in therapy and no one in the ED is in therapy?”

“It’s the emergency department,” Legend said, as if that explained everything.

“They don’t do self care,” Time added helpfully.

Both emergency nurses took offense to that. “Hey!”

“It’s an emergency medicine thing,” Time continued in a voice one might hear in a nature documentary. “Watch. Hyrule, do you go to therapy?”

Hyrule’s smile from watching a blue lizard scurry away faded into bemusement as he glanced at the group. “Huh? Me? No, why would I?”

Four stared at the paramedic a moment, and then hesitantly directed his attention towards the horses. “…Twi?”

Twilight turned, his face open and light. “What’s up, Four?”

“Do you go to therapy?”

“Therapy? For what?”

Four turned to Sky next, and Warriors beat him to it. “We all know he doesn’t go to therapy.”

Four groaned, his face in his hands. “You guys are ridiculous.”

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Bruce Wayne's therapist

Author's note: Hey guys! It's been awhile and to be honest I've been craving some Batman since watching the movie ( I'm well aware that it's been over a year). I've been going back and forth wondering if I should. So here's a sample of my ideas. Let me know what you think!

Ps. This is not going to be accurate to any comics. Please don't come after me. I'm just having fun with my imagination!

Characters: Bruce Wayne x Reader (Fem!)

Summary: Bruce and you have an arrangement for both of your needs. No feelings, strictly services which you are happy to participate in.

Warnings: Fluff

"You should be asleep" I spoke out into the dark quiet room.

Computer screens were the only source of light creating his silhouette.

"Mhmm" He grumbled completely slumped in his chair.

I walked over closer to see the usual site. Bruce staring at different CCTV footage of Gotham City.

His eyes drooped with fatigue and the permanent residue of black smudges around his eyes, giving him a deathly appearance.

His eyes slowly crawled their way to me but his head never moved.

"I don't know anymore. The more I try, the worse it seems" He mumbled.

"I don't think you're going to figure it out tonight" I murmured.

We stayed in silence for awhile. He was reluctant to leave his desk but he knew I wasn't going to move. He pulled himself up out of his chair. His stature slowing towering over me.

I still couldn't believe he was Batman. I knew Bruce had a rough background but to turn into someone like Batman... Well, that was fucked.

Finding out Bruce was Batman was an accident but not a mistake I made. Stumbling upon this bomb happened in a moment of madness. But only the madness Batman would find himself in. Of course, me being in the center of it.

I was a childhood friends before anything happened to him. Before the devastation of his parents passing. We lost contact or I guess he just disappeared off the face of the earth after that. I always wondered what came of him.

As much of an recluse he is. I did run into him and after all the years, I'm surprised we recognized each other. His face going pale when he first landed his eyes on me, I still remember clear as day. But that's when I met Bruce not Batman. Which is a whole other story.

I looked up at him. His hair a mess on his head.

"Come on, let's get to bed" I nudged him lightly.

He didn't budge.

He leaned his head down making light pecks on my neck. I angled my head wanting him to keep going.

"Mhmm" I moaned quietly, feeling his hands on my hips and his thumb sneaking it's way under my shirt.

Before I knew it, he had lifted me on his desk, He wedged himself between my legs looking me in the eyes.

"I need this" He whispered.

"I know" I said softly looking into his bloodshot eyes.

He dropped his head making me comb my fingers through his dirty hair.

To say that Bruce was under pressure was an understatement. He put pressure on himself to make a change, to deal with his trauma and to solve everyone's problems. He held everything on his shoulders and when it came down to it. Sex was the only thing that broke him down from all of that.

No strings attached. He made that clear. He didn't want a relationship. He wanted therapy, in the form of sex. Which I would gladly give and have given him, for the past 6 months.

Of course, within those 6 months I did find out his big secret. To be honest, I'm not saying fucking batman was not on my bucket list but it is now and yes, yes I have crossed it off. He refuses to fuck me in the suit which I've asked several times.

But I need to remember that fucking him is fun for me, but it's needed for him and I guess fucking in the suit just doesn't do the same job, therapy wise.

I felt my shirt getting lifted more and more until I had to raise my arms to get it off me. His eyes trailing down my body with an underlying hunger which made me squirm. His fingers grazed my collarbone to my shoulder making it way to the side of my breast.

I took a deep breath, feeling the teasing get to me like usual. He glanced up giving me the weakest of smiles.

Him seeing me squirm under his touch, I don't know if he got off on it or it made him relax. Either way it made me lose all of respect for myself and beg him to just slam me. Which he never did. He dragged it out as much as possible.

Savoring the peace he felt within those moments.

Masterlist for other fics

[ichirukilover]

I closed the door to Bl/each after the tragedy of 6/86 and briefly opened a window to LA, because well that pair is my weakness and it made me laugh how treacherously I/R it was.

So when weeks ago I saw a beautiful I/R fanart on Tik Tok (The anime came back, so the algorithm decided it was a good idea to torture me), and the response to a comment that said "They should have ended up together "was "READ THE MANGA", I was baffled. I mean, what did that mean? had I read a fake manga all those years and the "real manga" appeared Da Vinci Code-style after 2016? Was it all a Jump conspiracy? Have we been duped all this time?

That piqued my curiosity, so I wandered around several sites, reading publications from the "correct/canon/real manga" point of view; and well, you'll see even worse things the bible says.

Here are my favorites:

"The I/H was evident from the beginning, just read chapter 0": yes, because a one-shot that is a sketch of the general idea of a manga, that goes through many revisions and rewrites is absolutely determinant in the development of the main manga, and seriously, what exactly is the evidence?

"HM arc is the ultimate proof of I/H, he went to rescue her and even came back from the dead for her": well, so did her other friends and even R/enji and R/ukia, maybe they were all in love with her too. And about the resurrection...just...never mind.

"I/H are perfect for each other" Here I could do a whole essay from a psychological point of view that proves that it is an absolute fallacy and was more than clear in the FB arc, in real life they wouldn't work and would be a toxic couple. And God knows at least that boy needs therapy.

"O***ime looks like Ma/saki" * Bombastic side eye. Criminal, offensive side eye *

"O***ime deserves I/chigo”: Oh, so he was some kind of trophy for being a good girl, so it wasn't enough to objectify her, they also do the same with the boy.

"Ru/kia was a shinigami and I/chigo was a human, and she's much older than him, their relationship was impossible." *Everything but the rain entered the chat*.

"I/H fought together against Y/wach": And we all know how well they (he) did, right?

"W/D/k/A/L/Y": *sigh* that's what it looks like when you try to fix a mess and fail miserably.

"W/D/k/A/L/Y's scribble": ...

"Anime invented IR": The studio simply pushed something that was already implicit in the original material and they knew it would sell more, it's basic marketing. Most of us knew what was filler and what wasn't (rolls eyes).

And there definitely wasn't a parallel manga that magically made sense of that ending. What a disappointment.

And I/R are the delusional and lacking in compressive reading? It's so much easier to say you just don't like people ship I/R, instead of sending them to read the manga or giving lazy arguments. Pathetic.

This was long, but I just needed to vent or something, because I honestly found the whole situation absolutely hilarious.

My English is broken, so I hope I have been understood.

PS: So in my delusional mind I/R is right now enjoying his honeymoon on the beach *wink**wink*.

Blessings.

As someone that didn't leave after the ending and has seen all these "amazing points" take form and basically became the classic "IH and pro ending dudebro agenda" list, let me tell you, I was and still am baffled too. No matter how many times I read them, I still get shocked at how some really believe that bunch of BS, or better they keep repeating it untill they'll believe it.

You adressed them in a simple but direct and straight to the point way, I don't even need to add anything to what you said, agree to all of it, wait lol well maybe I could add the the pilot chapter lit has In0ue de0d at the end of it but what do we know, that doesn't seem to matter to them lol it doesn't have to make sense smh

In our delusional mind that ichiruki honeymoon on the beach is so vivid and real... I wonder why lmao

[positivelybeastly]

Just a question regarding the whole fall of x depiction of the x-men. Do you think they deserved to fall? If so, then why?

In my opinion (and sorry for the rambling) I believe most deserved it but definitely not everyone. *cough cough* Quiet Council *cough cough*. But going beyond their…mess, teams like X-Force and Legionnaires I felt don’t deserve it completely. While yes the actions of beast prime did make their reputation that much dirtier it could’ve been avoided if there was therapy for mutants. All his and many others “evil” actions could be been avoided if everyone wasn’t like light years apart from each other despite being in the same area at the same time. Even then there just byproducts of a crappy system of lies and neglect from the stupid quiet council that only makes things worse some how. But that’s my thoughts…maybe you could change them.

Question for Hank in general. What are five words you would use to describe love in your life? It could be: friend ships, romantic relationships, or even (and probably considered a little confusing to others) your relationship to your work.

"Five words to describe love? Quite a task, considering what Ewan McGregor had to say on the subject."

"Oh, no. NO, NO, NO - !"

"All you need is love!"

"Love is just a game!"

"I was made for loving you, baby, you were made for loving me!"

"The only way of loving me, baby, is to pay a lovely fee~"

"Just one night, give me just one night~!"

"There's no way, 'cause you can't pay~"

"Oh, there he is! In the naaaaaame of love, one ni-ght in the name of love~!"

"You crazy fool, I won't give in to you~!"

"Don't - leave me this way, I can't survive without your sweet love, oh baby, don't leave me this way~"

There's a sound - Dark Beast is violently banging his head against the wall.

"Please. God. Please. Make. It. Stop."

"All right, fine, fine, we'll take it easy on you . . . five words to describe love in our life . . . nourishing."

"Regular! Skilful, too."

"Anchor."

"Betrayal."

"Oh, well, thanks for lowering the tone there, guy . . ."

So, I think a distinction does have to be drawn between X-Men and mutants, because the X-Men are a superhero team with various spin off groups, and the mutants are a race/community. For the most part, no, I don't think the mutants deserved to fall, and I don't think most of the teams or groups did, either.

Joe Public on Krakoa was just living their lives after said lives were rudely interrupted (if they were resurrected victims of the various massacres) or they were set to be persecuted by a world that hated and feared them. They didn't do shit to deserve being dive bombed by Nimrod or hunted down by Orchis fuckwads, they're just people living on an island utopia and trying to have a good time.

The Quiet Council, however, was a completely fucked system of government and everyone realised it way too late, so pretty much everyone involved in that institution deserves a smack upside the head and a long time away from any leadership position.

Yes, that does include Kate, Emma, Jean, Kurt and Ororo. They were all complicit in, at the very least, allowing X-Force's actions to go unmoderated, to say nothing of every other fucked up decision they signed off on.

I don't give a fuck if they stood in the Quiet Council chambers and said, oh, I miss when Hank was fun, why's he so unethical now - YOU'RE MEANT TO BE HIS FUCKING FRIENDS, CUNTS, ACT LIKE IT. Or at the very least, act like the fucking superheroes you're goddamn meant to be! Talk means nothing if it's not followed by action!

They didn't address the rot. Everyone in major leadership positions on Krakoa, yes, everyone, has to carry some of the blame for what happened to Krakoa. No, it wasn't just Beast, or Mr. Sinister, or Moira, all of them carry some responsibility for fumbling the bag and not addressing fundamental inequalities on their little happy island nation.

But 90% of the X-Men teams, who didn't have that knowledge, didn't have that power, who can't be held accountable for that stuff? Yeah, they didn't deserve what happened. Jubilee did not deserve to be crushed by Nimrod, no matter how you cut it, she simply did not. Same with every other member of that X-Men team, just to name one example.

X-Force, though . . . so, take all of this with a grain of salt, because this was quite possibly the worst written book of the era, and I know no-one was in character, BUT.

In-universe, with what is, unfortunately, canon?

Yeah, fuck those guys. All it takes for evil to flourish is that good men do nothing, and while no-one on that team can call themselves a good person, good god did they insist on doing a lot of nothing.

"Hmm, our leader was running a space Nazi prison, what should we do? Silent treatment. Brilliant."

Kill Quire a few extra times just for that. And for that shitty Ghost Calendars arc, while we're at it. Colossus, you're on my shit list for breaking Chronicler control and not telling anyone what was going on until the last second. Sage, you're an idiot, you and Logan both had the power to stop shit long before it got to the point it did. Domino, you . . . actually, Domino, Black Tom and Omega Red might get a pass here? I can't really blame them for what happened.

. . . Anyway! Mutants don't deserve genocide or the loss of the little scrap of the world they carved out for themselves. The Quiet Council and the leadership of X-Force, however, deserved everything they got, and quite possibly a hell of a lot more. That's the long and short of it.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

A realization I shared with The Pit back in March, last year. Heavy on the salt/kinda in character-hate territory

last night I realized Kokichi's and Kaito's deaths also parallel each other's like many other things about them. and I am so mad.

there was never a moment when I was close to forgiving him for brushing off Kokichi's last words as another lie to recover his own face because someone pointed out he sounded almost fond or something like that, they were this close to changing their minds about Kokichi and he had to ruin it, but it's even worse.

Because at the end, Kokichi allowed himself to be vulnerable and honest, alone with a guy who never liked him, dying Kokichi said his truth. Kaito is surrounded by friends, he gets a love confession and he doesn't respond to it, he doesn't have anything other than his usual hero speech to say, because he's never vulnerable with them, he'd never admit he changed his mind about Kokichi, just like he never admitted to anything that wasn't very heroic (in his skewed idea of what a hero is like) of him regardless of whether others could tell,

he's so full of shit, I am not buying into the myth of an idiot with good intentions, that guy is smart and very much capable of emotional manipulation, he's put all his points in charisma and he's using them, easily laying down his biases to his peers, getting away with heaps of hypocrisy, getting people to do things his way even when they know it's stupid/dangerous/both (usually it's both with his ideas),

his bias against Kokichi had to be a combo of unwillingness to admit he was wrong on first impression/ closed-minded refusal to look past first impression/ possibly self-recognition through another (derogatory)/ hypocrisy coming to him that easily, because he clearly convinced himself that he's always right and he's doing the right thing when he hides everything he isn't proud of from people, probably protecting them, unlike other people who only lie because they're evil

[this is the end of the "realization" message, but I will include my side of the group ranting that followed, not including others, they were sharing their opinions in a safe space, actively spreading anti-Kaito agenda is just a me-thing]

he's super toxic and. The fact that so many people took him at face value was my true downfall face-first into joker arc

they're like "Kokichi did x too" disregarding the fact that Kokichi got shit for it from the entire cast and was doing it in his efforts against the killing game while Kaito did it to make himself look good, got praised and didn't take his own advice (x usually stands for forcing people into a situation, referring to Meet and Greet)

He said he's helping Shuichi and Maki so he helped them. No, I need them to get a restraining order on him and go to therapy to recover from the shit he put in their heads.

Maki reasonably tried avoiding attachment, knowing it could be used against her, but Kaito knows what's better for her than she ever could, obviously. And so he made her unstable and a threat

Guy who doesn't take no for an answer, he gave her no choice or didn't even explain before they got there, I was uncomfy with him from that one convo with Kaede early on when he tries to take credit for her idea and asks something of her that throws her off (I think he was asking for a hug?), but he kept outdoing himself in crossing people's boundaries for a while

The whole. Punishing Shuichi and making him apologize for not following Kaito blindly into getting everyone killed in ch4, that's also up there

He wants to be good, but his idea of good is messed up.

also while I'm at it, some screenshots from the times I talked about him in The Saiou Lounge (finally gathering all I wanted to screenshot from that dead server is what motivated this wave of posting again)

Adding another rant to the post, just compiling atp because I don't want to make multiple negative posts: I just think that. people forget Kaito was about to lead everyone into a battle against monokuma with a choice of weapons that he thought looked cool (with Maki just going along with that, not commenting on how most of them wouldn't know how to use those weapons or how unlikely they're to be able to use close-range stuff on monokuma) and Kokichi stepped in with the electrohammers and the idea of re-trying the death road of despair just before they could get themselves killed, while I'm uncertain about ch4, at this point he definitely wasn't on board with everyone dying, and Kaito's illness was The Motive of ch5, while he wouldn't kill anyone directly he was obviously desperate and making everyone else restless because of his Extreme Unexplained Charisma, plan A was isolating Kaito from the group asap, announce the game is over, plan B mastermind made their move, confirming their existence, it's time to act, try to convince Kaito to do the unsolvable murder with him, appealing to his hero complex, as much as I'd like him to have expected Maki, he was surprised, and thought her reason for showing up was "You really love murder that much?"(paraphrasing), and tbh, if I was anyone other than Shuichi or Tsumugi in-game, I don't think I'd expect Maki to feel anything other than annoyance about Kaito, we see cliches & Shuichi third-wheeling, they saw a guy harassing her as she insults him and pouts about it

Me:the transphobic bit comes from the slur he uses when Kiyo reveals to be wearing lipstick in the 3rd trial, it's a word that has been partially reclaimed by drag queens in more urban parts of Japan, but Kaito is a rural boy (or at least that's how I saw it explained) that's still present in eng, sexism is like, THE core trait of Kaito, it's defining to all his relationships/opinions on people Ves: the line about how women shouldn't handle weapons Haunts me his concern about maki frequently seems to be that she's Not A Housewife and not. THE TORTURE it's sad that she's an assassin because women shouldn't be violent :( not that she's much Better lmao. responding to everything by being uwu tsundere by hitting him and deliberately digging at all his worst insecurities Me: YEAH! HE'S LIKE: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SWEET DELICATE GIRL, I KNOW YOU'RE A SWEET DELICATE GIRL UNDER YOUR COLD EXTERIOR, I WILL TRAIN YOU TO BECOME THAT GIRL, SIDEKICK Ves: the funniest part is that the narrative treats him as Right she is a sweet delicate girl turns out Me: I got bad vibes from him the moment he was talking with Kaede before they were about to try death road of despair for the first time and he just kept getting worse, like from the moment he punched Shuichi it was just discovering new levels of hatred and violent urges in me everytime he says or does something Ves: the "give me a hug!!' "no." scene makes me laugh so hard im sorry Chee: tbh I felt like he had a bit of a crush on her? or it would be funny if he did Me: pretty sure he did, tbh, Kaede is a lot more his type than Maki, his sidekicks are just charity projects to boost his ego and have allies that make him feel safer in the kg, but in his LHS he wants someone he sees as equal, which he called Kaede (in a way that was disrespectful to her, cause he was trying to leech of credit for her ideas but, he did say that) Chee: I just remember how,, Positive his interactions w Kaede were (on his side at least) Me: it was almost like watching Kaz interact with Sonia again except somehow worse, he's got so much of Kaz, but the narrative assigning him being Right & having unreal charisma ruins all that, he could have been a wet dog of a comic relief character, but he's the representation of every man who ever made me feel uncomfortable or unsafe or enraged, and all of those feelings become deeply ingrained into my image of him the "actually everything he says he is" Kaito that's genuinely a supportive friend that has his sidekicks best interest in mind Spin on his character some fans have pisses me off, double points if they make him queer he can try to be good but he has to be getting things wrong, he has to be a little stuck on some points when he's in the wrong, his traditional upbringing has to get a bit in the way I can tolerate him having a bit of deeply repressed bicuriosity, maybe turing out to be bi, but it has to be a long ass arc and he cannot have anything genderwise, I am drawing the line, no way in hell

[blackkatmagic]

Firstly, thanks so much for sharing Chapter 14 from patreon to get us all thru to outage! It was so welcome & gave me a break from work!

Another wonderful chapter teasing more of the drama unfolding! Fox's immediate interest in the sith ritual: Sucked the life out of a whole group & a planet? Yes, that. More details STAT.

I am also loving how consistently you've kept every character's reactions within the structure of this AU. The Guard have been abused & are planning to take power to save themselves, but they are also not "good guys" here & that stays clear. I'm cheering them on even as I'm reminded they're kind of planning major death & destruction for their own ends.

Even in scenes where there's a chance for one of them to react more gently or emotionally, you keep them focused on their wants & results, as the focused Sith they are. Granta is a hot mess of long term therapy needs in all his interactions with them & this stays clear. The characters are developing & changing but not losing these traits that are central to the story. I am loving it all & so appreciate how you've maintained that vibe as the story keeps unfolding.

I'm rambling, hopefully this made some sense! I'm always a fan of your writing & appreciate all the incredibly hard work you put into amazing stories that I think about over & over! Thanks, always, for sharing them with us!

I'm so glad the...self-centeredness? I don't think that's quite the right word, but I'm glad it comes through. It's really fun to write a story like this where it's 99% everyone making each other worse, because it's so much a villain's story, and the character development is there but like....sideways. It's a neat change from how I normally write people, and I'm really happy it's enjoyable. 💚

[lunar-years]

I don't necessarily want to be too hard on Sudeikis because like, I've never written a tv show, but at the same time I will be because I don't think he had the skill level to lead the 3rd season on his own the way he did, and it shows. I Know the show is called Ted Lasso but it honestly felt like he was too wrapped up in providing himself with moments to shine that he forgot about wrapping up huge plot points for other characters and for some reason decided their time was better spent wasted on weird side plots. If I was a suspicious person, I'd honestly say that it felt like he was sabotaging other actors by either turning them into one dimensional cut outs of themselves with no depth (Roy), dropping huge issues for the character and then completely washing over them, and also forcing a highly emotional moment by a great actor to be a farce (Jamie), or neglecting any actual potential character development and sacrificing a well developed character for a cheap shot at "yas girl boss" (Keeley)

hmm i know a lot of people blame the bad pacing and super long episodes on Bill Lawrence's departure and Jason's lack of show-running knowledge. I'm not saying he didn't make the problem worse in s3, but to be fair I think that was already well underway as a problem in s2 (when i think Lawrence was still involved?), so I don't really blame him alone. The pacing was only tight and great in the first season and then it went downhill from there.

As for the character stuff...I disagree that Sudeikis was only concerned with writing himself moments to shine (and if it’s true he did a terrible job of it lmao), because imo Ted's character is just as much of a sloppily-written mess in s3 as the rest of them (and also I think Ted's plot was less central in s3 than it was in s2 especially). Apart from the scene with Ted and his mom at the end of Mom City and maybe his season finale locker room speech, I can't really think of any scenes that are standout in terms of really emphasizing Jason's acting range/serving as award-fodder.

I also strongly disagree that he was intentionally sabotaging his fellow actors by giving them bad plots LOL. Actually I think it was quite the opposite, in that he was extremely focused on giving each of the others a “highlight reel" episode to present to the Emmys committee. Like, you can look at the season and immediately pick out which episode was written for each emmy submission (Paris is Juno's episode, Chelsea is Brett's episode [still shocked he didn't submit it tbh], International Break is Hannah's episode, etc.) Like, Mom City was clearly written with Phil winning his emmy at the forefront of the writer's room minds, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. heck, that's my favorite episode of the season! (side note that I agree with you that Jason is to blame for THAT jamie boot room scene though because like wow was that bad directing, and the bts video shows he was the one telling Phil to play it like that lmao). But i do think the segmented structure of the episodes probably did contribute to the pacing problems and the lack of cohesiveness in the season as a whole.

(I also don’t think Roy was one-dimensional in s3 🫢. Apart from a few things that didn't quite land for me, I really liked where they took Roy's arc this season on the whole. IMO they gave him more depth by really diving into his insecurities, showing him as a leader with Isaac, learning to be a friend to Jamie, coming into his own as a coach and a person, going to therapy and becoming manager. And his ending was ultimately satisfying for me).

ANYWAY, in my opinion Jason's biggest crime was being so rigidly committed to the three season vision of the show he dreamt up in the beginning, even when the show and plots had gotten too big for that original vision to contain. Season 3 could have been separated into two seasons easily and it would have given them the time they desperately needed to address many of the characters and relationships in a much better and holistic way, as well as dedicate more time to thoughtful endings for all of the main plots. Instead they tried to do way too much with way too little space. And also gave a weird amount of screen time to pointless characters (cough Zava cough Shandy...)

[multiplicity-positivity]

HI i'm so sorry if this ask is a mess but um! I recently discovered I might be a subsystem host (ON TOP of being the regular system host which I'm fine with I found that out like almost two years ago and I'm basically cool with that now), and I've been kind of freaking out about it since okay! Okay! There's a layer of complexity basically right underneath my nose! How am I supposed to handle this?

Even worse is the intrusive thoughts of "I want to lock this stuff away and NOT deal with this" but I know that's like. Really bad and not conducive to recovery as well as being extremely unfair since the people in the subsystem have the right to exist and live life.

And like. I know that once I just accept this and learn how to communicate with the possible people in the subsystem, it'll be relatively okay I think. The problems are just: How do I communicate with people in the subsystem or know who's in it and how do I get rid of the thoughts of wanting to run away as fast as I can because I KNOW those thoughts are unfair but it feels like instinct to want to run or repress even though I would never act on that.

I think the first step might be to at least make the folder on our SimplyPlural for the possible subsystem. But even just that feels so overwhelming, especially with the fear that I'm wrong and overreacting or misinterpreting the situation.

Anyways! Sorry this ask was a mess, and thank you for even just reading my messy thoughts; advice is appreciated, but you don't need to reply if you don't feel comfortable.

hey, we’re sorry to hear you’re having trouble making sense of this complicated situation. we also have a subsystem, and for the subsystem host (main fronter?) it’s been a bit of a messy, confusing, sometimes frustrating journey.

as per usual, if you’re not in therapy and are still quite distressed by this, finding a therapist could be a great way to get an expert opinion and generally just talk things through/vent about your feelings in a safe space. therapy has been super helpful for our whole system, including our subsystem. they still have a long ways to go in terms of lowering barriers between each other/building communication, but therapy has helped them achieve the progress they’ve made so far. we know not everyone wants/can access therapy, but we feel it’s worth suggesting.

outside of that, to us it sounds like you’re on the right track. good things can come from fighting those knee-jerk reactions of “i’ve gotta bury this/push this down/ignore this” and taking baby steps to get to know your subsystem. making simplyplural entries for your subsystem’s members (or potential members) sounds like a great idea.

when it comes to how to fight those thoughts of wanting to hide/flee from this… we’d recommend allowing yourself to think your thoughts, to feel the emotions that come with them fully, and just sit with it a while, without acting. it can be hard to control or change emotions and thought patterns; we’ve found that for us, instead of attempting to control our thoughts, trying to control our reactions to those thoughts can be much more productive.

you don’t have to (and honestly shouldn’t!) push yourself here. when you’re feeling lost, scared, and overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a step back or avoid thinking about your subsystem-mates for a while. slow and steady wins the race, and the more you prioritize your own health and safety, the better things could turn out for your whole system and subsystem. when you’re feeling up to it, our post on establishing contact with headmates might help you reach out to the members of your subsystem.

if it turns out you’re wrong, overreacting, or misinterpreting something… that’s okay too. you’re not doing anything harmful to yourself by trying to explore this aspect of yourself and your system. if you find out you’re not actually a subsystem, we promise that’s okay. the work you’ve done to try and get to know yourself is still important, and you’re still valued and important as you are. people are wrong about aspects of their own identities all the time - it’s part of learning, growing, and discovering ourselves.

we hope this response can (at least somewhat) put your mind at ease and help you come to a bit more of an understanding about yourself and your subsystem. if not, we’re sorry we couldn’t have been of more assistance. we’re wishing you hope, understanding, and inner peace as you walk this path. thanks for reaching out, and best of luck to you!

[psygoth13]

THIS. ABSOLUTELY THIS. As a trauma therapist and as someone with complex trauma, Crowley OOZES trauma response like crazy. And let me tell you, it's not comfortable at all. It's panic, your worst fears materialized in your head and you are just on the precipice waiting for the shoe to drop. When your loved ones are involved, it makes it SO much worse. Not just because we don't want to see our loved ones hurt, but because WE ARE SO USED TO TAKING ON OTHER PEOPLE'S ISSUES AND TRYING TO PROTECT THAT WHICH WE LOVE WE FORGET THAT WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES. We allow our focus to move to the other person because we relive our trauma in that experience in the hope that we can not only keep our loved ones safe but somehow find resolution to what happened to us, but it NEVER works out well. Crowley acts confident and self-determined, but his sense of identity and purpose is ALL messed up and he struggles to take care of himself. It's easier to throw yourself into someone else's issues than it is to heal yourself.

With that being said, Aziraphale has trauma too. He's been constantly berated, talked down to, belittled, made to feel insignificant. He is given so much responsibility and has it emphasized by the archangels who breathe down his neck constantly, but in the end they make it so he has very little control over anything and he's just stuck in this trauma loop with Heaven. He is trained to be selfless, to give his whole self for the sake of others. Loving someone else is SELFISH to them, because it means that you love yourself enough to BE loved. THAT'S why Aziraphale also sucks at emotional communication. Loving Crowley is not only considered bad (especially since he's a demon) but source of danger and potential damnation, not just because of the obvious tropes, but because what his trauma has told him his whole life. That's why he is into the whole "damsel in distress" idea- Crowley comes to save him like a knight in shining armor, relinquishing his need to be selfless and just feel loved.

But since they both suck at emotional communication and have wicked bad complex trauma, they can't communicate any of it. Trauma is a BITCH and you would think that our loved ones would be the easiest people to talk to about it, but it's the opposite. We feel like we are dragging people into our misery, that they are gonna Fall (figuratively and literally for Crowley) with us, or that we are going to destroy one of the only good things we have. So, of COURSE they are completely unable to emotionally communicate- these boys need serious trauma therapy, but also to just be real and vulnerable with each other.

Damn you, Neil Gaiman.

Rescuing Aziraphale does NOT make Crowley happy.

Crowley is deeply paranoid and hypervigilant, his nervous system is constantly running in high gear and regulating it is both exhausting and generally hard to do. To create some sense of safety, he constantly circles Aziraphale, sits with his eyes on the entrance/exit, is on the look-out for trouble, has contingency plans, and is always ready to throw himself in front of him to keep him safe—both literally and metaphorical.

When Aziraphale gets himself into trouble, it pushes him into panic mode, so yes, of course he goes to save him! Someone HAS to, and he is very aware of the fact that Aziraphale sometimes gets himself into bad situations simply to get rescued. But that does not mean that Crowley enjoys it.

Look at him in the Bastille, when he's driving to the burning bookshop, during the ball, with Jimbriel around—when Aziraphale is in danger, he becomes a nervous wreck. There is no joy or "happiness" anywhere. It is desperation and fear and 'if you died it would kill me too'.

What Aziraphale mistakes for Crowley being happy is relief.

The plan worked, he managed to get him to safety, the danger has passed, and they're both still on earth and together, and his body simply crashes because it has been running in survival mode and pushing itself past its limits to get them there.

Crowley does not want to rescue Aziraphale, he wants them to not be in danger in the first place so that there's nothing he needs to be rescued from. THAT would make him happy.

[im-always-the-problem-its-me]

i don't know what the fuck just happened

i somehow managed to fuck up SO's birthday and feel awful. ive gotta make a big drive tomorrow night and have to fuck up my sleep schedule on purpose and with how emotionally exhausting this whole day was it's that much more difficult.

i legit started rambling, feeling very 'i'm a piece of shit, what do you want..let's make jokes about how fucked up i am while i detach emotionally when you have a breakdown' like roman fucking roy and then i even said 'i'm roman fucking roy, i don't know what you want from me'.

here's what i think happened: nutshell version because being vague is safer and i'm also tired.

SO has been depressed. i can't do shit about it. i have a bad habit when i'm overwhelmed with my own shit to be like 'let's try to just be super happy and pretend his breakdown isn't happening because i can't handle men crying on the floor because i'm used to men getting angry, yelling or worse...hitting me.' so i avoid. it's a symptom of complex PTSD apparently and also i think ptsd doesn't accurately describe what i have anymore because nothing is 'post'. this shit is happening right now and im constantly triggered because i figured out i'm still being abused and emotionally manipulated by my parents as an adult and i don't know wtf to do about it. i think im going to need therapy again. SO says he thinks he wants to go see one again too.

there's nothing wrong with our relationship. it's individually, we're both fucked up. it doesn't help i have this 'not really, but kind of' a side thing but it's not affecting things here. (im still a piece of shit because if anything its kind of an emotional affair...i dont know...feelings are fine...if i act on them then that's different...this is an old flame too and we're close, always have been...it's just an intense friendship bordering upon dangerous with flirtations but THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE)

'you never shut up' SO said to me out of anger. broke down after he said it even though i agreed even though it stung. i told him don't worry about it. it was true. i need to to not put all my shit on him. that's why i suggested therapy again.

i explained that i don't feel mad or upset by anything that happened tonight..just feel bad because yes he called me out on being emotionally detached and i have been lately because im a fucking mess. i also tend to run from everything so i even told him fuck it, we can move back because it's fine me being a mess but since he's the breadwinner, when he falls apart it's bad for both of us. i'm already on benefits because of epilepsy that's intractible. nothing I can do about that. but he needs to be ok.

he keeps looking at me like i'm nuts but dude, i've been running my whole life. i wanted to settle and stay here forever and i love this place more than any place i have ever lived but look i'm still sick here and i got issues popping up like god hates me.

i'm not even roman roy. i think because i detached instead of wearing it on my face or crying like kendall. maybe i'm a mix of both. i dunno. that show speaks to me on so many levels. i rewatched Hannibal too and i'm just like wtf. then i picked my favorite mommy issues movies to put on.

here's what i know happened: two people who love each other very much aren't doing well mentally but their relationship isn't what's making the other fucked up. it's everything else they have never dealt with making them individually fucked up and tonight it blew up. bad timing. neither of us could help each other. he got rightfully pissed. i am not upset he got pissed and the one thing he said out of anger was a very true fucking statement that put a big mirror in front of my face.

i realized too that i cannot handle a man having a breakdown. he asked why i always just walk away from him when hes like that? well because i don't know what to do with it and also what if it turns into something else and the man is going nuts on me or taking it out on me? i don't know. i'm very fucked up.

i hate victim mentality bullshit. i try not to put stuff on anyone. so i sweep it away like it's not fucking happening and i got called out on that. i don't know how to be there for him. i can't help it i have ingrained weird ideas. i try just not to be a cunt ok? and i don't know maybe i was one tonight? i don't even know. i apologized for getting loud when i did because i had my earplugs in so didn't realize how loud i was and i also hadn't eaten all day and it was making me hangry so my brain couldn't even process anything until after i ate.

a man shaking and crying on the floor because of me? (or what i perceived as being about me?) all i thought was get away from him because you're hurting him and nothing you do is going to make it better...and then it was like i felt like my mom. that's what she did. no comfort for the crying ones...just walk away until it's over. but i'm not his mommy. i'm his SO. he even said 'i don't want you to baby me or anything, just a little comfort would be nice.' he's right. but again, why are you crying in the first place? i'm selfish so i'm thinking 'wtf i'm a mess...now i have to wonder why you're a mess...wtf' and jfc no....i don't know what the fuck happened.

we need to both get some help with our issues somehow or we're not going to make it if repeats like this keep happening. i can't even call it a fight. it was more just a collective breakdown. he went to bed red eyed and mumbling. i'm up exhausted but numb af.

fucking a.

it's good i'll be gone for a day. give us both some time away just to think. well, he'll be able to anyway, ill be cramped in a car with 7 other people for 18 hours. not that i'm complaining. i've gotta do this to help out with bills and plus now i've got an obligation because my mother keeps putting shit on me and didn't even give me a chance to say no and if i don't make this trip a lot of people are out of money so im basically unable to back out even if wanted to. fuck it. i think i'll finally be able to chill next year. i'm going to make myself anyway. get through holidays. have a good time on our concert trip in january. hopefully by them my SO and i are in better places mentally too.

one hour at a time.

[creaturebehavior]

damn. life hurts. i think i’ve been having a really hard time.

i feel like i will never get out of this hole because the world wasn’t designed for me. i get burnt out every time i try to do what everybody else is doing

all i want is to run away. i have no income and nowhere to run.

i wish i at least had money for drugs.

i can’t believe i’m alive. i don’t want to do this anymore. i can’t wake up to this anymore.

i wish i at least could afford to use drugs. i can’t believe how suicidal i feel today. i haven’t felt this way in a really long time.

i wish i could be more normal. all i want is to work a little job and to make enough to get my needs met but i can’t even hold a conversation with a human or barely leave my house

I feel trapped. and i know if i try to kill myself again i’ll just end up not getting the help i need like every other time and for some reason i can never fucking die like i just won’t die i always live no matter how many overdoses or seizures are car crashes or the whole town burning down while i’m driving through it in my car but for some cruel reason i just won’t die.

i have to find another way. i’m honestly kind of afraid to die but i’m also so afraid to keep on living. i think if i were to seriously attempt suicide again, i would try carbon monoxide poisoning in my car in the garage but i’m just afraid i would have too much time to change my mind. i always think a lot about hanging myself so that i can’t change my mind but i can’t find anywhere in my house to hang myself from.

idek. i’ve been having a really bizarre week, mentally. i lot of flashbacks. a lot of dreams. a lot of recent fumbled social interactions m, reinforcing my fear of interacting with people. a lot of awareness around my behavior, past and present and how toxic of a person i’ve always been. i don’t know how to heal from this or change. i’m in so much pain all the time i’m such a selfish person, i’m just like my dad, my whole life is about how much pain i’m in and making it every im else’s problem. This is the reason why i avoid people and isolate myself from everyone, because i don’t know how to behave. i don’t know how to not act out. i don’t know how to regulate my emotions. i don’t know how to filter my thoughts. even if it’s accidental, i am rude. i feel feral. i feel completely detached from the song and dance everyone does with each other. i have such low empathy. i find it hard to care about anybody. i’m so burnt out, i find it hard to continue to politely pretend i care about anybody.

i’m clearly very unwell. at least i’m aware of it now, right? i just can’t fathom how i’m gonna get better. i’m exhausted. i don’t know how to try to care i don’t know how to be better. i cut myself off from the world. i try so hard in my little interactions when i run my necessary errands and i try to be nice but i still am accidentally rude and i come off very strangely. whenever i’m stone cold sober i appear to be on drugs because i’m so out of touch with reality and i’m so mentally fucked in the head. don’t know what it is. severe dissociation and anxiety i guess. I have been having to confront my internalized ableism as i haven’t been this sick in awhile, and the older i get the slightly more self aware i’m becoming. I realize how visibly ill i am. and it’s been difficult to bring that around other people because i feel so much shame being as.. out of whack… as i am. i wish i could hold it in but i just can’t mask anymore. i got so burnt out and i’m so sick.

ugh. i don’t know how i’m gonna get past this. i know something obviously needs to change. clearly i need some kind of help but i’m scared to get vulnerable with more mental health professionals. i’ve had some bad experiences in recent history that really messed up my relationship with therapy and treatment. i’ve developed trust issues that i know i’m going to have to get over but they are very real. my last therapist made me feel worse at every session but i kept seeing her because i was convinced it was a me problem, because i have a really difficult time opening up to people already. we didn’t click but i saw her for like two years because i thought i just needed to warm up to her because i already have trouble trusting anybody. and now i’m all screwed up cuz we had so many bad sessions i can barley remember what it’s like to have a good therapy session and when i reflect on all the years i’ve been in therapy and i’ve only really connected with one therapist out of idek what feels like countless therapists i’ve tried. It’s so hard to find someone i feel i can be open with.

idek. i feel stuck

[zombies-aliens]

If God wants to give me those wake up calls then I'm so for it. I know it's going to be a rude awakening, or at least not something easy to take in I imagine, but I know this is going to change me for the better. I need to be forced into changing myself. Idk if that's good that I say that, but I'm just saying what I think is needed. Today was a crazy day at work. It could have gone worse but thankfully it didn't. I really need to make a visit to therapy. And if God gives me those wake up calls those revelations about myself then I need SOMEONE to go through this with. Please don't let me go through it alone. Idk if I'm strong enough. I'm too emotional for my own gold. I'm sorry. I just need someone who I can constantly update on my thoughts. I know for certain I'm going to need that outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I don't know what the future holds. I hope my crush still likes me. I hope I don't mess anything up. And btw me having a crazy day had nothing to do with my crush at work, they are separate. Speaking of crushes, this girl tried her luck with me she wanted to be my girlfriend. I had to reject her. I didn't tell her the truth that I wasn't into her, I told her im still caught up with breaking up with my ex, which I am, but not so much since me and her were long distance we never saw each other in person etc, I don't wanna sound cold hearted about it :/ that's a whole other story. Some things I just can't post on social media even tho you're all strangers. It's too personal. But I really want my crush. I hope me and her can work something out and get comfortable with each other. Because whoever I get with next I need to be comfortable. I'm a leo venus in sidereal but I'm going to identify as a cancer venus for the time being bc I relate to much more to that than leo venus. And if u know a thing or two about cancer venus... being comfortable matters. Of course it does to everyone but u understand I hope. I'm so fucking shy. But I'm glad I talked to her today and asked if she's okay. She said yeah like it was nothing new to her lol. I guess she's tough? I was scared bruh

[sixty-silver-wishes]

okay okay okay. KOKOSCHKA

so that painting on the bottom left is called the bride of the wind. and ohohoho it has some HISTORY

the man in that picture is kokoschka. the woman there is a real piece of work named alma mahler gropius werfel, of tom lehrer fame. she was. well. the best way I can describe alma is “infuriatingly fascinating.” absolute horrible person, a headache for historians, but goddamn she had an insane life. basically, alma was married to the composer gustav mahler, and was a composer herself before mahler said she had to give up composing bc he didn’t believe two composers could work out as a couple (tell that to the schumanns, but I digress). alma was considerably younger than him, and probably didn’t know what she was getting into, so she agreed.

bad, bad, bad plan.

so. while alma and gustav’s marriage started out relatively okay, it went downhill Fast. for one, alma was a notorious anti-semite, and gustav was ethnically jewish (he converted to catholicism for career reasons, but was religiously agnostic). alma had this weird habit of being very fetishistic and possessive, which put her at odds with gustav’s sister justine, whom he was very close with. on gustav’s end, he was extremely dedicated to his art and career, often to the point of overlooking the needs of others. this whole mess came to a head when their daughter maria died. both were distraught, but because alma had a lot of complicated feelings at the time and didn’t have a creative outlet (remember, she gave up composing), she started an affair with one walter gropius, whom you may know as the founder of the bauhaus school of architecture.

gustav found out eventually, tried to apologize, saw sigmund freud for a therapy session (yeah), even published some of alma’s old songs to make it up to her. and worse yet, he was getting deathly ill from heart issues and pneumonia. and yet alma still kept up her affair with gropius, writing him steamy letters while being really, really weird about her “poor, helpless” husband’s terminal illness and how much of a saint she was for taking care of him (she also viewed herself as racially superior and had some sort of “gentile savior” complex that kinda tied into it. there are letters on record and it’s really really gross), and was basically waiting for him to die so she could marry gropius (she even says this in a letter!).

so, gustav dies (on gropius’ birthday. I can’t make this up), but alma doesn’t marry gropius immediately. she does eventually, but first, she has a string of affairs, including with expressionist painter oskar kokoschka, whose art is depicted here.

they were. Also horrible for each other. yeah, alma’s terrible, manipulative, psychologically abusive (even to her two daughters, but that’s another story), and has a nasty habit of manipulating the historical record by destroying letters and fabricating shit to make herself look good (look up the “alma problem” on wikipedia. she does this so much there’s a term for it). but kokoschka was also. disgusting. dude is also very possessive of her, obsessed with painting her, did something really gross when she got an abortion that I’m not going to get into, but you can look that up on the alma mahler website if you’re curious. alma eventually decides she’s had enough of kokoschka and dumps his ass.

but kokoschka hasn’t had enough of alma. oh no.

so, kokoschka goes to dollmaker hermine moos and commissions. a life size. poseable. alma mahler. sex doll.

just. just process that for a bit.

we’re good?

good.

SO.

he takes the thing with him everywhere. dresses it, drags it to the opera, normal things you do with an enormous sex doll of your ex. until he decides he’s had enough of it, invites all his friends to a party, breaks a bottle of wine over its head, and beheads it.

which. most normal expressionist artist

here’s the doll btw. you’re welcome

[lovefoolholland]

You Belong With Me 💕

Summary: You’re Steve Harrington’s neighbour, but you’re kinda crushing on him. Turns out you both get each other and he may like you back too.

Warnings: Fluff, really bad angst?

Author’s note: This is my first ever one-shot! At least in English, I write in Spanish in Wattpad as tessanoexiste, go follow me there too plz! Anyways, enjoy and don’t mind to leave some feedback!

You didn’t know how you ended up there, in the middle of the destroyed Starcourt Mall parking lot. It was definitely not what you planned for your last summer before going to college.

And neither was in the plan beating a horrid monster made out of possessed people along Steve Harrington.

You have known Steve since you both were children. You practically grew up around each other, but it was a different story when you started high school. It was almost as if he became a whole different person when the whole “King of Hawkins High” thing came around. You honestly weren't mad, you didn't even really care, until he started going out with Nancy Wheeler.

It was as if something had taken over you, but you weren't sure what it was. It was a mix of anger and sadness, and it was often there until they broke it off. Before that, you were a complete mess, you didn't get what was wrong with you or why Steve never even looked at you like he did with Nancy.

And maybe, it was because you were complete opposites. She was an intelligent girl, getting A's in all of classes, she was the top in everything, while you were stuck in band and couldn't pass biochemistry even taking the class again. She wore beautiful skirts with awesome high heel boots, but in the meantime you had your overworn Converse on a side and your plain t-shirts.

Until… Well, until Steve came to your door right after breaking up with her.

It was a whole therapy session. He asked you what he should be doing now that Nancy started going out with Jonathan, and you only told him the truth, to let her go. He didn't like it that much, but just a week later you both watched a movie together and you saw him smile for the first time in a long time. You even said:

“I haven't seen you smile in a long time.”

“Well, you know, I'm fine now.”

And you just knew he was better than 'fine'. And then, you two started hanging out more, went to Starcourt to apply together for a job, and came even closer than before.

But… you were still insecure. Yes, he was pretty much over Nancy, but he still didn't see you. He just watched you, but he never really saw you, at least until…

“Hey, you okay?” you smiled at Steve, who seemed like he just went for a whole marathon with his fluffy hair now down and a sprinkle of sweat over his forehead “Oh, thank God.”

Yes, he was beaten up. Like the worse he has been beaten up yet. But he still looked at you worried. And that was so cute coming from him.

“Oh, come on! You really don't think I could beat the shit out of that monster even if you let me alone?” you joked, trying to cut the tension. Steve just rolled his eyes, sitting beside you in the ambulance you were previously being checked on.

“It's just… It isn't a pleasant thought to lose you, okay?” you raised one eyebrow, with fake astonishment in your face “I'm serious.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” you said before sighting and shaking your head, scaring all of the other thoughts you had in your head before in order to finally confess the truth “So, um… I really need to tell you something.”

“I actually have something I want to tell you too” you opened your eyes wide, surprised “, but if you want to go first, spill the beans.”

You couldn't help but laugh.

“Spill the beans?”

“Hey! I think it's a very rad expression.”

“Yeah, as if.” Steve frowned jokingly, just making your laugh increase “Okay, okay, here I go. Ready?”

“I guess.”

“So… Remember that night you saw Nance at the middle school dance? When we left Dustin there, too” Steve nodded, kind of confused by what you were telling him “, so… I think I have a very vivid memory of that moment. I remember you driving to my house, in the middle of the night, I thought you were gonna cry so I started making very bad jokes. But still, you laughed.”

Steve smiled, genuinely smiled. It was not just a smile of the moment, like the ones he used to make when you both saw a comedy movie or when you overheard something funny, no, it was just pure beautiful happiness.

“Oh yeah, I remember that night for sure.”

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head a little in order to make him see your face better.

“You do?”

“Yeah! I was really going downhill and you saved me” Steve turned his face to yours, and immediately blushed when he saw your amazed face “, I mean, the night. You saved the night.”

Your face changed when he said that. He also lost his smile, so it made you feel a little sad.

“So, what was the thing?” Steve asked, looking at you with curious eyes.

You didn't say anything, you just went for it. It was the best you could have done, truly, because he was never gonna get the hint.

Your hands wrapped on his colorful sailor uniform's neck, and you pulled him into you without doubting. Steve opened his eyes in surprise when he felt both of your lips touching, and because of the shock, he didn't answer. So you pulled apart, with a blushed face and a scared expression.

“I'm sorry! It's just that you didn't get it and I thought…”

But he didn't let you finish. He grabbed you by the back of your neck and pulled you into a more sweet and slow kiss. You immediately corresponded, putting your hands against the back of his neck. You felt his hand going down to your waist, and both of you just smiled into the kiss when you felt comfortable in each other's arms.

“Hey dingus! They found the keys of your... Oh”

Steve and you jumped far from each other when you heard Robin scream near you, but it was too late. Not only has she seen you, but the whole gang too.

“About time dude” said Dustin, rolling his eyes and going back to his little friends.

“What?” you asked with both of your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Steve looked at you with a silly smile on his face.

“Yeah… I have had a crush on you this whole summer. And I was going to tell you that right now but, well…” you couldn't believe his words. This was just… Surprisingly good, but at the same time really weird to be hearing “Oh, c'mon on. Don't make that face. You had me wrapped around your finger all this time.”

You finally smiled, proud to hear him surrender so easily.

“Guess we're really made for each other, huh?”

Steve smiled in his unique way again, guarding your cold hand with his when you both got off the ambulance.

“We belong together, Y/N.”

Your smile didn't compare to one Steve had seen before. Although you had a battle scar on your cheek and your hair wasn't down like he liked it, you still looked beautiful because you were finally happy with him.

“No Steve, you belong with me.”

And there you realized it: He did see you all this time. It was just a matter of time before Steve came to your arms.

[multiples-fandomswontkillme]

~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!