#they are SO insane about eachother what is WRONG with them im shaking them back and forth and begging them to be normal ever.

[ironites]

royjamie is so insane to me bcs why are they like that. like i pity everyone who has to be around them because jesus christ i would want to run myself through a wall

[darylsfavoritegirl]

HEYYYY IM HONESTLY SO FUCKING EXCITED WHAT DO YOU THINK ABT THESE HEADCANONS bc i wanted to do smth like for a while i just never could come up with anything but its easy in a sense sooo here you gooou

SFW

• I don't think his mommy issues are necessarily sexual, sometimes you would do something that would invoke that "motherly" "safe" or "warm" feeling inside of him. He would never be able to understand what it was or would tell anyone about it. It'd be one of the reasons why he'd care for you as much as he did. You'd make him feel safe by saying something or embracing your arms around him in a certain way which would make him commemorate his mother, though because his mom died when he was young, he wouldn't be able to understand it at all bc he doesn't consciously remember those moments with her. This man fr would think you'd cast a spell on him :D

• I just know this man is a feminist in the core. Growing up, he'd always hear Merle running his mouth about women and how they were like this and they were like that, overall his ignorant, blunt, dumb thoughts about women. He would witness his dad going off on benders with different women each time and how he'd vulgarly talk about them later. And hell maybe he's disrespected women or been really cruel to them but he still regrets it to this time and yeah we all know this man suffers in redemption, always trying to make up for his past mistakes and wrongs. Yet I'm %100 sure he loves seeing women thrive, turning into their best selves or just witness them be real badass and it might even give him some kind of arousal 👀👀. He is into that shit. I said what I said.

• One of his love languages is definitely showing you the places he'd used to spend his time in. Could be a special spot in the woods, could be a small cabin he'd used to get lit with people. Hell it could be random corner in town whenever you'd have to be in downtown for various reasons. He wouldn't even mind if those places brought him bad memories or unpleasant ones. He'd just like being there with you, doing whole ass story times and watch you react them with a wide-eyed expression. He did have a weird and a "crazy" life before the fall that'd make him feel like he was on mushrooms everytime just thinking about it. He'd love letting you know more and more about his past. It would just give him a reassuring feeling deep down. He would feel like it would bound you two together.

• That.man.has.a.sweet.tooth. He loves anything that has sugar. He'd always snack on candies or cookies or chocolates after a hangover. Or when he'd be on drugs. Sugar wakes him the fuck up and he loves the energy boost. He'd carry some candies in his pocket back in the day, eating them throughout the day when he'd feel his blood sugar dropping.

• He is definitely a car-date type of guy. He got more into it after the apocalpyse started and he met you. Sometimes you'd go on runs and you could sit in the car for hours, smoking, eating, talking or yk👀👀 if supplies you found weren't an emergency need. He absolutely savored those moments. You could sit for hours without speaking, in a complete silence. He appreciates quietude.

NSFW

• I know him having a breeding kink is well known and acknowledged but he's insane about it that it hurts. He loves seeing you all squirmed and whiny underneath him with all his cum inside of you, some of it dripping down your thighs. You couldn't always find the right pills for unplanned pregnancy risk and it WOULD drive him crazy to not be able to it.

• He just loves to see you messy beneath him. Hair all tangled, thighs shaking uncontrollably. Your fingers digging so deep on his shoulders that you'd cause his broad shoulders to bleed sometimes, he loved it. Your eyes are all glossy with pleasure. You both would love to go wild and leave sloppy kisses on eachother's bodies and wouldn't mind them drying on your bodies at all, leaving it all sticky.

• He loves being submissive as much as he loves being dominant. You can't convince me otherwise. If you gained his trust, he will be all yours, all needy beneath you while you ride his soul out of his damn body. Again, he adores a badass woman, a woman to take the lead. You would place your hands on his chest and sometimes hold his strong large biceps and he wouldn't dare to move an inch. He liked being vulnerable like that.

• He is just so patient it physically throws you over the edge. He'd get so close making you cum and he'd stop, teasing you with his tip or fingers or sometimes his tongue. He'd smirk at you and even make fun of you in a taunting way to overstimulate you and don't worry he'd make up for it with better ways. He knows what he is doing. It's just come natural to him.

• It's safe to say you are the one who teases him in the public most of the time, your feet tracing his legs up until it stops on his bulge under the table and he'd give a stern stare, trying to shrug and look indifferent as others would notice his suddenly-changing demenour. However, there'd be boring Alexandria dinners that Deanna would host and if you sat next to eachother, he'd place his large hand on your thigh and even dare to slip a finger on the fabric of your panties, starting to rub his middle finger harshly in circles while having full ass conversations with people and try to hide his subtle smirk bearing his face. He would do it rarely yet he'd be so good at it because no one would suspect a thing, he'd always make it look like he was resting his arm on your lap. You'd squirm under his warm touch and heat waves would wash all over you while trying to look normal as ever. And believe me, after those nights, when you'd confront about him about what he did at a dinner with 20 people, he'd act as if he doesn't understand a thing you're saying or would say "Don' kno' what yer talkin' 'bout." while shrugging his shoulders and turning to his side with a wicked grin.

FOOTNOTE

well this actually took shorter than i thought idk why i believed it would take me couple of days to finish one lmao i deadass wrote this in like an hour max ???? anyway i wish there were more but idc i was so impatient to post one of theseeee :)))

[jell0buss-37]

hello! :3

im in LOOVEEE with your fics! <3333

so i was wondering if you could write something for peter b. who is dating a fem!reader who has an onlyfans🤭 and would he be open into making content with the reader or maybe just working behind the scenes?👀

i would love to see what you do with this! :3

have an amazing day/night <3333

I had a really bad night, and so I took a break from writing for a day. This cheered me up a lot, and so I will start off with this, and then I have some more things I'm working on. I hope you enjoy!!!

Peter B x Onlyfans!Reader

What a babe ❤️ (NSFW under the cut)

First off, he had no idea what Onlyfans was before meeting you

Don't get it wrong, mans knew what porn was

Had a small collection of vintage Playboy magazines

And the amount of adrenaline he gets from his spider powers is absolutely insane

He definitely has a voyeurism kink. He thinks it's so hot to have people watch him as he does it, and that they enjoy it

You were scared to tell him about your side job, as that was what usually turned people off of being with you

And you really liked Peter

You even quit it for a month because of how scared you were that He'd find out and leave you like the others

Or worse, that he'd judge you

It's hard due to the prejudice that the industry faces

It was actually an accident that he found out

He had stumbled upon some of the toys you had, that were very famous in your videos

Now, you guys have been dating for about 4-5 months at this point, so obviously you two have been getting down and freaky

(Which it's also been the hottest and best sex either of you have ever had, another good reason on why you didn't want this to end)

He's really chill with toys in general, was just surprised by the amount you had

You were embarrassed that he found them

He made sure you didn't feel ashamed, he actually thought it was hot

"These look like they cost a lot of money, sweetheart! Where'd you even get the funds?" He jokes

Also goes silent at the sudden awkward silence

"... Where'd you get the funds...?"

You're so scared, but you have to tell him the truth

"Oh! What's that? :D??"

You explain to him what it is, scrambling to explain the benefits before he can jump to any conclusions

"All they are is videos of me touching myself, I swear!"

He's silent, making you nervous

"... And... You like being... Watched..?"

Your face goes red in embarrassment and shame as you admit that you do

"Honey, are you okay?" He notices how you're shaking, quick to comfort you

"I-I just don't want you to leave me..." You sniffle, burying your head in his chest

"What!? Why would I leave you? Because you have an Onlyfans account???" He's simply confused.

Like are you kidding him??

That's so hot

He explains that to you, also explaining that he's got a thing for being watched as he pleasures himself, always wanted to try it himself

You are so relieved, crying more at how supported you feel from him

Asks to watch the videos you have if you're okay with it

"Holy shit-"

He absolutely loves them

The next time you guys are starting to get hot and heavy, he pulls away from you, shyly asking if you would maybe be open to... Having a partner for your next video

You've never got your stuff set up so quickly

You explain to him how a lot of your videos go, giving him the gist

He had been fantasizing about this for so long, he already knew what he wanted to do, all the positions and angles he wants to try

You both start by kissing passionately, fully clothed as the two of you progressively start to get hotter, stripping eachother of your clothes

You suck his cock as he lays on his back, his legs off the edge of the bed as you're kneeling in front of him on the ground, your lips wrapped around him as your hand is resting on his hip, your other laying on his stomach

He lets out some moans, moving your hair out of your face and holding it delicately in his hands in a ponytail, so that the camera can see your face

You tease him for a bit like this, curses leaving his lips, the sounds of you slurping at the drool that accumulates with your cock in his mouth filling the air

Your mouth disconnects with a loud pop, as you start to leave a trail of open mouthed kisses around his torso, sucking two hickeys on his hips

You straddle his hips, he leans up to pull your body closer to his own, wrapping an arm around your waist as you both share another passionate kiss, tongues dancing with eachother in a symphony of the thick tension of each other's beating hearts in alignment with one another, a hand on your face

He flips you onto your back, your mouths still moving in tandem, standing off to the edge of the bed now, holding your thighs to either side of you, flat on the mattress

He kisses down your body now, leaving messy and sloppy hickeys along his way now, planting a kiss on your clit, burying his face into your heat, basking in the feel of you, your hands gripping the sheets beside you

But he wasn't going to be spending this time giving you the oral pleasure that he is normally more than willing to give (hehe)

He rises to a stand, grasping his cock in his hand, giving an experimental pump, before easing it into your tight cunt, his hips moving slowly to meet your own, going back to holding your thighs flat on either side of you

His hips snap back into your own, groaning at the feel of you, his head lulling to the side as his eyes flutter shut, his eyebrows scrunching in pleasure, quickening his pace a tad while standing upright

You were fairing no better, now gripping at the sheets beside your head now, burying your face into your shoulder, your tits bouncing with every thrust of his hips pivoting into your own

You start to whine, reaching out your hands to him, wanting him close to you now

He chuckled at this, removing himself from you, wincing at feeling the loss of you wrapped around him, moving the two of you up to the head of the bed, as he moves you on to your side, pulling you back into his chest while wrapping his arms around you and holding you close

He kisses you, moving to suckle on your neck whilst he grips your leg, lifting it into the air a bit as he slides back into you

He ruts into you at a quicker pace now, his other hand moving to grip your jaw as he leaves more kisses on the side of your face, while you're practically sobbing at this point from the intimate position now

He only gets fueled on while he stares into the camera, almost animalistic, as desire drives him to practically slam his hips into your own now, sitting up and throwing your leg over his shoulder now, ramming into you as his hand moves down to rub fiercely at your clit

Before you know it, you're cumming around his cock, the flutter of your walls around him causing him to let out another moan himself, suddenly yearning to be close to you himself, and he drops down, pressing his chest to yours

You wrap your legs around his hips, bringing him in impossibly closer, as he rolls his hips at an incredibly delicious roughness, feeling him finally cum, burying his head into the crook of your neck, biting down in pleasure as he practically whimpers at how sensitive he was feeling now

You bring your hands up to rub up and down his back, his body slumping from a sudden exhaustion, the two of you panting as you come down from your highs

You both suddenly start laughing, giggling and feeling so much emotion wash over you, the two of you staring at eachother with so much love and heart now

The video was quick to make it to the top of the most viewed list

You guys were found with a lot of money, a sudden surgence of support from your fans

You guys became popular quick from your videos, your most significant trait being the fact that how real it not only looks, but feels to watch you guys

You were so happy to have found someone who supports you so willingly, and you loved him so much

That and he was making you so much money now

Hell he even got his own Onlyfans account, still absolutely astounded to find that there's a perfect outlet for his voyeurism kink

[tehnardier]

Everything Changes — Jonathan Byers

Pairings: Jonathan Byers x Reader; mention of Jonathan Byers x Nancy Wheeler

Words: 2269

Requests: “hi! could i please request a being in a love triangle with jonathan and nancy headcanon? thanks xx” by anonymous

“Hey lovely! Do you mind doing a jonathan byers HC of the reader and him studying together, they keep glancing at eachother and smiling and it's cute and fluffy and he kisses the reader eventually and yea just cute stuff all around :D” by anonymous

Summary: Y/N starts ignoring Jonathan after the events of season 2, he then decides to face her.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating and it’s very angsty (but there’s also a lot of fluff to make up to it)

A/N: this took me two whole days to write, and at the beginning i was loving it but now i think i wrote and rewrote it so many times that im not sure if i think it’s good anymore? aLSO!! if you think i should write a part two, should i get them together or not? feel free to send me an ask telling me what you think and if you liked it, i would appreciate it a LOT and i love reading what your guys’ thoughts and ideas.

Y/N knew from the moment she saw Jonathan and Nancy together after their road trip that she was fucked. Well, actually she knew she was fucked when she realized she had fallen for her best friend. But that was beside the point because now this very same best friend was dating (maybe? Y/N couldn’t know for sure) the girl that, due to the events of the last year, Y/N had grown very close to.

That made Y/N unconsciously distance herself from both Nancy and Jonathan — choosing to focus on school work, on her family, on her other friends... And that was just fine for a while but, of course, Jonathan HAD to notice it.

So, Jonathan, with his oh-so-convenient social skills, ambushes Y/N when she’s walking home after school through the parking lot, stoping his beat up Ford Galaxie right in front of her.

“Jonathan!” Y/N exclaims in shock. “Are you insane? You could’ve ran over me!”

Jonathan rolls the car windows down and opens the passenger door, “Will you please get in? I’ll drive you home.”

Y/N knows it’ll just be worse if she declines, so she begrudgingly walks into the car and closes the door, staying silent. Jonathan starts the car and glances at her.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks quietly.

It breaks Y/N’s heart to think he just assumes he’s the one to blame. Well, he kind of is but it’s mostly on Y/N and her lack of control over her feelings. So, she decides not to answer that question.

“I thought you said you were gonna drive me home,” she says instead, crossing her arms over her chest in a petulant manner. She knows she’s being childish, but she’d rather him think that then for him to know she’s head over heels for him.

Jonathan sighs and drums his fingers on the steering wheel, “I was thinking maybe you could come over instead and we could study together. Maybe hang out a little bit.”

Y/N first instinct was to scream bloody murder and run away, but then she looked over at him and he just had this hopeful look on his face.

“My mom and Will miss you,” he says tentatively. (Y/N doesn’t catch is the “I miss you” Jonathan mumbles under his breath.)

“Ok,” she agrees, “but only because of your mom and your brother, and only if we study.” (Y/N can’t have them just hang out with each other, that was bound to end up in a disaster.)

The smile he gives her is enough to melt her heart and break her walls if only a little bit. “Yeah, ok! Sure,” he nervously nods and starts to drive.

The car ride is filled with so much tension that, the moment Jonathan parks in front of the Byers’ house, Y/N opens the passenger door and ungraciously throws herself out of it. Jonathan follows suit and both awkwardly walk up the house.

Y/N watches as Jonathan fumbles with the key, visibly shaking and having trouble opening the door. She carefully takes the keys from his hand, “Let me do it.”

The door opens and he leads her inside, closing the door behind them. Y/N takes in the house she had been in so many times before. Apart from the drawings that had been taken down, not much had changed since she was last there.

Jonathan clears his throat. “Do you wanna go to my room?” he asks.

Y/N looks at him and he has a nervous look on his face. She feels bad that she’s making her best friend feel this way, but the alternative is the soft and fond look he used to give her and she doesn’t think she could handle that right now. “Are Will and Joyce not home?” she questions him.

“Not right now,” he answers quickly, “but they will be, I promise.”

She nods. “Ok, then. Let’s go.”

The next few minutes are filled with easy conversation, both of them too scared to bring up any touchy subjects, as they settle in Jonathan’s bed and start to study.

Eventually, they both grow comfortable with each other once again, they start joking around like before and Y/N rests her feet on Jonathan’s lap (she’s sitting on the headboard of his bed while he sits on the end of the bed). (Y/N’s glad that he thought about keeping some space between them.)

At some point, she starts noticing he keeps throwing glances at her, and she can’t help but smile a little bit every time she feels his eyes on her. It’s on the seventh or eight time Jonathan looks at Y/N that she gathers the courage to look back. “What is it?” she asks him.

“Nothing,” he responds, smiling at her shyly and looking back down. Y/N nudges him with her foot.

���No, come on,” she says laughing, “tell me.”

Jonathan mumbles something incomprehensible under his breath, his cheeks and neck turning a deep shade of red.

“Jonathan,” Y/N moans and that somehow makes the boy get even more flustered, “I hate when you do that. Just say it. Loud and clear.”

Jonathan lets out a breath. “I said you look pretty.”

That seems to be enough to break Y/N completely. “I’m sorry, what?” she manages to choke out, her eyes widening like saucers.

“You heard me,” he responds in defense, “just forget I said anything.”

All of a sudden, his nervous demeanor comes back and Y/N just gets this feeling in her gut that she can’t let that happen, so she takes her feet out of his lap and sits up straight, crossing her legs.

“What if I don’t wanna forget?” she asks bravely and purses her lips to keep herself from saying anything else.

Jonathan looks up at her once again with surprise, a silly smile on his face. “Can I sit up there with you?”

She nods stiffly, nervously moving so she can make room for him. He stands up and walks to the right side of the bed, sitting next to her. All Y/N can feel is his arms and legs touching hers on the small mattress, but she shallows whatever feelings that are threatening to come to the surface down and focuses once again on her book.

A few minutes later, the glances and shy smiles come back, now coming from both parties, and neither know how or when, but somehow they end up with their faces close and their eyes locked with one another.

“Tell me to stop,” Jonathan breathes out as he leans in. She doesn’t tell him so.

His mouth meets hers, hesitantly but with desperation. Y/N closes her eyes and lets herself get lost in the moment, pressing her lips to his fiercely.

But it all ends too soon, when the reasonable part of her brain starts to work and all she can think about is how she should feel bad about kissing him. How unfair she’s being to herself and to Nancy. So, she makes herself break the kiss and get away from his warmth and from that bed. “I need to go,” she tells him. (Y/N doesn’t know if the struggle she feels as she says that is because she’s out of breath or because she doesn’t want to leave.)

She stands up and starts to gather her things, her ears ringing and her heart thumping with adrenaline. Once she’s gathered everything, she looks at Jonathan, who’s still sitting on the bed, looking at her dumbfounded, and raises an accusatory finger at him. “You’re with Nancy,” she tells him, her voice breaking.

Y/N ignores Jonathan’s protests and calls as she leaves his room and makes her way to the front door. She’s about to reach it when it suddenly opens, revealing Will and Joyce Byers holding two boxes of pizza.

“Y/N!” they both exclaim in surprise, coming into the house with huge, matching smiles.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Joyce says as she places the boxes on the kitchen table and engulfs Y/N in a tight hug, “we missed you.”

“Yeah,” Y/N responds, “so I heard. I missed you guys, too.”

Joyce lets her go, but before Y/N could even recover from the hug, Will was already throwing his arms around her.

“Will,” she breaths out, “you’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.”

The boy steps back, giving her a smile. “Well, it’s been a while.”

Y/N registers Jonathan awkwardly standing in the hallway, looking unsure of what he should do or say.

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” Joyce asks for him, gesturing to the boxes of pizza, “we brought plenty of pizza.”

“Oh, no, I shouldn’t,” Y/N answers, “my parents are probably expecting me.” (That’s a lie. She knows for a fact that both of her parents are working late tonight and are not home at the moment.)

“I can call your mom if you want to,” the kind woman offers, “I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“No!” Y/N says a little too loudly and a little too quickly to be considered casual. She coughs and tries to appear nonchalant, “You’re right, she won’t mind. You don’t have to call her.”

“Ok, great,” Joyce says, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion but smiling just the same, “Will, sweetie, will you help me set the table?”

And with that, Jonathan and Y/N are left alone together once again. She slowly turns around to face him. He’s looking at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, ready to say something.

“Don’t,” Y/N warns him and follows Joyce and Will into the kitchen. “I’ll help, too,” she tells her, “it’s the least I can do.”

Ten minutes later, they’re all sat at the small kitchen table, Joyce and Will sitting on both of Y/N’s side and Jonathan sitting opposite her.

“I’m so glad you and Jonathan are hanging out again,” Joyce tells Y/N as she bites into her slice of pizza.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” she answers, smiling awkwardly. “Will, how are the boys, Max and El?” she quickly asks to avoid any further comment about her and Jonathan’s relationship.

Will, being the angel he is, starts talking about his and his friends’ new arcade records and newest adventures, which lasts about 5 minutes. By then, Joyce manages to turn the conversation back to Y/N and her older son.

“So, did you guys do anything fun today?” she asks innocently.

Jonathan, who Y/N has been very carefully avoiding to look at throughout the entire dinner, chokes on his drink. Y/N coughs loudly and kicks his shin under the table.

“No, uh, not really,” Jonathan manages to say, “just studying.”

Joyce chuckles and lifts one of her eyebrows. “Just studying? That seems unlikely for the two of you.”

“I guess we changed,” Y/N says uncomfortably as she chuckles along, earning a confused look from Will and one that could only be translated as ‘pure horror’ from Jonathan.

An awkward silence fills the table and makes Y/N search desperately for an alibi to leave immediately. Her eyes settle on the clock on the wall, signaling that it’s almost 8pm. She looks down at the table and notices that the pizza is almost finished. Perfect.

“Wow, it’s almost eight already,” she says in fake surprise, “my mom will freak if I don’t leave now. Do you want help cleaning up, Mrs. Byers?” she asks, looking at the woman beside her.

“Oh, no, don’t worry, sweetie,” she answers, “Jonathan can drive you home.”

Y/N eyes widen. Being stuck in a car again with Jonathan after everything that happened that day was the last thing she needed. “There’s no need. I’ll walk, clear my head a bit. It’s just a ten minute walk.”

“Let me at least walk you out,” Jonathan mumbles. She meets his eyes for the first time since they sat at the table.

“Ok,” she agrees. They both stand up and Y/N says her goodbyes to Joyce and Will as she gathers all her belongings and follows Jonathan to the front door, who had already opened the door.

Y/N mumbles a goodbye and walks to the porch, expecting Jonathan to leave it at that. Only, he steps outside the house and closes the door behind him. “Can I please just explain?”

“What could you possibly explain right now, Jonathan?” Y/N spits out.

“Nancy and I,” he sighs, taking a step closer to her, “I don’t want you to avoid me.”

Y/N barks out a laugh when he says that. “Well, you could’ve thought about that the moment you kissed me,” she scorns.

“You kissed me back,” he exclaims loudly, flailing his arms around helplessly.

“I’m not the one cheating on anyone here,” Y/N growls at him, “don’t you fucking put this on me.”

Y/N turns to leave, but Jonathan takes her hand and softly pulls her back to face him.

“Please,” he whispers desperately, “I’m not dating Nancy.”

Jonathan raises the hand that is not holding Y/N’s to her face and rubs his thumb over her cheekbone, wiping the frown off her face. She unconsciously leans into his touch.

“Nancy broke up with Steve because of you,” Y/N breathes out, “this is not right, I’m sorry.”

Reluctantly, Y/N lets go of Jonathan’s hand and steps back, giving him a sad smile before turning on her heels and walking away, not looking back once.

(Hours later, Y/N lies awake in her bed, unable to fall asleep, thinking about her best friend and what he meant by everything he said and did that day. Little did she know that, ten minutes away, Jonathan lies in his bed doing the exact same thing.)

[onceawasteland]

NATASHA, PIERRE AND THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 (August 11th 2017, and August 12th 2017) there are spoilers to come but i felt you would all appreciate my take on the show for I have greatly appreciated everyone else's reviews. THIS STORY IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS CLOSING. the above are pictures from my two respective seats and at the stage door Act One * the walls are covered in portraits from the 1800s, some of which are landscapes of operas) * i danced (badly) on a broadway stage * to get to the on stage seating you enter through lucas' door * while waiting for the show to start old russian music is playing. they also played some french music bc they were francophiles YAY FOR HISTORY * a lady behind me said "omg look at how they did the staging... i guess its pretty clear that theres not a lot of dancing in this show. and i about died laughing * during prologue Cathryn squeaked on the clarinet as she ran down the stairs and my best friend is a clarinet player so this made her RIDICULOUSLY happy * OAK LOOKED RIGHT AT ME DURING MY FAVORITE PART OF PIERRE WHICH IS MY FAVORITE SONG (You empty and stupid, contented fellows. satisfied with your place, im different from you im different from you. i stilll want to do something) * during pierre, pierre sings the part, "and how many men before good russian men, believing in goodness and truth" right to Anatole (who is in the main spot light) and a bunch of other dudes including Dolokohv * Anatole is wasted pretty much the whole show but he this is when you first notice it and lucas was sitting on the stairs right next to me and he kind of drunkenly slipped before he ran to the other side of the stage and i was like 😍😍 * Deneé was on our side of the stage pretty much the whole show and she looked me straight in the eyes about 15 times * during the very beginning of no one else when the music just starts to play Deneé walks with very youthful steps and it just emphasizes her innocence and lack of awareness and just EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLAY IS MAGIC * no one else is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen (well kind of if you dont count the great comet of 1812) The independent lightbulbs which are hanging from the ceiling all kind of drop so it kind of looks like Natasha is floating among the stars * when deneé sang "we were angles once dont you remember" the second night i was there the guy she was singing to on stage right said yes and you could hear it in her mike 😂 * also during no one else, when Deneé sings "this winter sky" she is standing on the top tier of stairs and she flings her arms out gesturing to the sky and the blue light of the moon is the only real light on her and it is quite simply breathtaking * andrei shows up 3-4 times during act one and its super sad every time. the first one (i think, from my vantage point) was during no one else when Natasha is squeezing her knees. Andrei is holding her letters in his hand and then he puts them in his coat pocket right next to his heart and i want to die. * at the beginning of the opera when Dolokohv is introduced he is so ridiculously arrogant and its adorable. Dolokohv in general is pretty fucking adorable. He points at the mezzanine and smirks and its beautiful * at the opera when Natasha says "a little sad a little stout" pierre is in the parlor which is right between natasha and Marya, and Helene and he makes this face like "wtf dude we should be bros" and he is playing the accordion and he pulls it in a way that the note declines and its just this hilarious moment * during the opera andrei shows up covered in blood right after Natasha sees Anatole is staring at her and its so depressing and also NICHOLAS BELTON OMG * Andrei also shows up during Natasha and Anatole (ok my heart 💔) * pierre is reading in his study through almost the entire show * So i heard this before and i didnt believe it bc you cant tell from just the music but the way that lucas plays Anatole is just so complex i love it. During, Natasha and Anatole he is a. really surprised at the amount that he isnt being rebuffed. and b. he has all these nervous tics before he enters the box all the way and makes his presence known and it just adds so much to the character because while yes he is the bad guy he isnt evil he is just unaware of everyone else. * he also tries to convince himself that he isnt doing anything wrong during "we are speaking of the most ordinary things" he wasnt trying to convince her HE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF * and then RIGHT WHEN SHE SAYS "yet I feel closer to you thank Ive ever felt with any other man" he just looks so happy and surprised * Right before Anatole goes to talk to Pierre during the duel he does this mind blown motion after watching natasha exit and its so fucking cute * DOLOKOHV'S "DRINK DRINK"s AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DUEL HAPPENED AS HE RAN UP THE STAIRS RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND I DIED BC HOLY FUCK NICK CHOKSI * I know you all already know this but the strobe lights are the most badass thing i have ever seen in my life. i straight up thought i was going to die they are SO intense. and during the ohohohohohs at the beginning lucas and nick did this hoping dance and i was like 😍 and its so cool bc of the strobe lights and I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE STROBE LIGHTS HOLY FUCK * the second night i saw it, i cant remember who it was but, someone literally almost kicked me in the face from the stage section right in front of me * during the line "then i feel a pleasant warmth in my body" LUCAS DOES A BODY ROLE AND IT IS SO RIDICULOUSLY HOT I CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE IT * OK OAK! this is the moment i was like FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW THIS BOY IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN. When Dolokohv is singing "heres to the health of married women" he is talking directly into pierre's face trying to bro out, and oak's face just falls completely and im like I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG DONT BE SAD. then, THENNNNN Dolokohv actually goes and makes out with helene two feet away from him and the hurt on oaks face was so raw i just 😭 * during the duel it is super obvious that Helene actually cares about Pierre because when she see that he hit Dolokohv shes more worried about the retribution than she is about dolokohv and i just want to die bc these characters are so fucking complex and BEAUTIFULLLLL * Dust and Ashes IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG AND OAK SINGS IT SO WELL AND I DIDNT KNOW THAT THE SONGS COULD GET BETTER BUT HE DID AND I WANT TO DIE * Dust and Ashes is my best friends favorite song and Oak looked directly at her during her favorite line too and its like he fucking knew we were sitting there * during sunday morning Sonya is trying to imitate Marya by sitting exactly like her and that is so great * Charming is gay. that is all there is to say really, just GAYYYYY * and Natasha imitates Helene at the end of Charming which again shows her innocence (SCREAMING) * she then makes the most adorable "well if you say so face" during "but still she talks so frankly. so it must be alright" and she kind of shrugs and AGHHHH * at the beginning if the ball Anatole, again, has all sorts of nervous energy and hes pacing and bouncing on the balls of his feet shaking his hands. and it just adds so much depth. * the ball was really distracting the first night bc two people (cant say who they were bc they are in huge ass masks) were dancing like 6 inches away from me and kept breathing in my ear. I am not complaining. * Lucas turns around with his hands up in a surrender pose like "i didnt do anything what are you saying" when natasha says "your hurting my hand" which i love. then he runs up and just grabs her bodily, turns her to him and smashes his lips on to hers. they stay like that for like 4 seconds and then natasha throws herself on top of him, essentially, and he kind of spins them around and its really kind of romantic (i am not a shipper of the two, except that i maybe kind of am after seeing how they interact with eachother) * Natasha kind of freaks out after the kiss but she is convinced that there is nothing else for her now but anatole and its like GIRLLLLL * Lucas and Deneé leave the stage arm and arm through the big door at the back with the same white lights that Anatole entered with. ACT 2 VERY FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED IN ACT TWO. LUCAS STEELE STARED INTO MY EYES FOR A SOLID 6 SECONDS AND SMIRKED AT ME AN I DIED AND MY FACE PROBABLY LOOKED SO DUMB BUT I DONT CARE BECAUSE AGHH In Letters when pierre says IT IS NAPOLEON the portrait of napoleon on the wall lit up and i cried andrei was there during all of letters and it was so depressing BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHATS COMING AND AGH. right before sonya and natasha sonya and anatole glare at eachother as lucas exists and then sonya runs to grab the letter from natasha's hand. DENEÉ'S SASS DURING THE LINE "I do not grasp the question" is fucking epic. she roles her eyes and its perfection during Sonya alone Igrid Michaelson was literally three feet away. and the lights didnt light up behind denee and i was like ohhh someone messed up. Dolokohv was trying insanely hard to convince anatole not to go through with the abduction and his turmole was very evident. at one point denee walk across the stage and he looked between her and anatole, ran his hand through his hair and then just gives in and follows. Anatole is v annoyed with Dolokohv during preparations. while dolokohv is speaking he is mouthing along like "shut up bro you dont know wtf youre saying" its very funny balaga: there are no words just so much happened paul pinto is a beast i dont even know how he does it. ok on night two i tried write down things from balaga Heath whipped me in the face with his hair as he was head banging on the stage in front of me. marya plays the drums at the top of the stage #GRACEMcLEANISAGODDESS andrei is present through most of act two. he is playing the triangle in pierre's study during balaga OAK DOES THE MOST ADORABLE LAUGH AFTER HIS "WooooOOOOOOAHHH" in abduction. he makes me want to die Lucas' "WAAAAAAIIIT first we have to sit down" is hilarious because the amount of time that he just sits there in silence flirting with this random lady on stage is ridiculous. he messes with his hair and puts his arm around her while we (i) all just sit there staring at him with doppy smiles on our (my) faces. on night two he sat next to a guy on the stage and i really thought he was going to flirt with him as well but alas dolokohv's fur cloak bit is very funny and the cloak is purple which is not what i imagined. again i will say that he is adorable anatole makes out with the fur cloak girl before going to get natasha. boi Grace McLean's in my house is not just angry she is also devastated that natasha is to be ruined. her face is contorted with pain in almost every line. and she is pleading with natasha to listen to her. her vocals are just so insane just OMG the blocking during in my house was also insanely cool. sonya, natasha, and Marya are standing in a a triangle the whole time (denee was RIGHT in front of me for the majority of the time) and they would switch which point of the triangle they were at and the rotation was very neat. I REALIZED LATER THAT THIS IS A PARALLEL TO MOSCOW BECAUSE THEY ARE STANDING IN A TRIANGLE THEN TOO AND OMG THIS SHOW DOES LITERALLY EVERYTHING RIGHT in call to pierre, oaks first what, when pinto gives him the letter is like "wtf is going on here im nobody whats going on" and despite being very depressing is also kind of funny. the whats then progressively get less funny and more depressing and i HATE THAT THIS HAPPENS TO MY CHILDREN NICHOLAS BELTON WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON THE SECOND NIGHT DURING CALL TO PIERRE AND HE KIND OF RUNS AND HIDES BEHIND A POST IN THE BACK OF THE THEATER AS PIERRE LEARSN WHAT HAPPENED TO NATASHA. pierre went to find anatole in the club all of the ensemble were surrounding the walls of the theater and it felt like we were actually in the club which was insane after "NATASH, NATASHA. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT I SEE NATASHA" Anatole throws his head down into helene's lap and i read somewhere that "they downplayed the incest" BUT I CALL BULL SHIT I DIDNT SAY THIS EARLIER BUT DURING THE DUEL AT THE LINE "Imma make love to her" AMBER IS GRINDING ON LUCAS SO I CALL BULL FUCKING SHIT anatole is also really distraught. its super weird bc with just the music to go off of you think anatole is just this jackass that wants nothing but to feel good and fuck everyone else... BUT LUCAS OMG lucas makes him sympathetic. he seems to really love natasha and when pierre is yelling at him he takes it to heart and freaks the hell out and just my love (i mean still a dick but) pierre and anatole is so fucking intense. and the ending if it when anatole is being a whiny baby IT IS SO GREAT BC ITS SO CLEAR HE IS THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM which emphasizes his age and lack of understanding as well WHICH IS JUST SO FUCKING GREAT. Anatole's exit is almost an exact reflection of his entrance. with the lights flaring as he walks out the door everyone talks about this but when natasha poisons herself shes right between anatole and pierre and its so depressing and just my heart pierre and andrei is so fucking sad. first off in the book (which is all about redemption, ill get to that) Andrei gets the BEST most beautiful redemption arc, and ive always been kind if sad that they took that out. everyone else gets at least the possibility of redemption and they just straight up removed every possibility of andrei finding forgiveness. but whatever this is the song that made me start crying, i didnt stop until i was standing at the stage door both nights. ITS JUST SO FUCKING SAD AND I DONT EVER WANT TO FORGET NICHOLAS BELTON STANDING ON THE STAGE "smiling like his father" AS HE COMES TO TERMS WITH THIS BETRAYAL. OAK! OAKKKKKK. I did not know that pierre could get better i thought we had reached maximum amazing but HOLY SHIT. first off the whole time he was hilarious. at the beginning of the Duel when he said opera he satirized the word and drew it out kind of long which was hilarious. and other little moments while he was in his parlor. BRILLIANT. and then AND THEN DURING PIERRE AND NATASHA. i have no words the whole thing was heart breaking. I started crying during Pierre and Andrei and I didnt stop until the end, at the stage door, but holy fuck. after he says his line (you all know the one) i could SEE this singular tear fall from his face and god damn if that wasnt the most heart wrenching thing i have ever seen. he was full on sobbing on stage and i could not handle it. During Pierre and Natasha, Helene, Marya, and Dolokohv were sitting in the audience sections and Helene was crying, dolokohv was strumming his guitar and looking very depressed and Marya just sat there shaking her head. Im not sure if other people were around too but those were the three i could see. during great comet everything is just so beautiful. oaks acting and gestures made everything 100102948391x better but the lighting was INSANE. the comet was beautiful the stars were beautiful, oak was beautiful. one of the MOST stunning plays I have EVER seen in so many ways. a person is not supposed to cry 6 times during a show... it requires magic and this show had it in bucket loads. STAGE DOOR DAY ONE: I MISSED GRACE MCLEAN BC I WAS DISTRACTED AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF AGHWHSHF Lucas must be on voice rest bc he wasnt saying anything but HE WAS SO CUTE AND IM DYING BC HE TOUCHED ME. (also i became like ridiculously starstruck and forgot that i wanted to tell him how much his acting adds to the lyrics and the character and how he is so much more sympathetic because he genuinely loves natasha and just doesn't demonstrate that in a good way, i will also. ever forgive myself for that) there was a little girl next to me at the stage door and the actresses were all being so encouraging to her. they were like "if you want to be an actress DO IT, I was right where you were once and now im here. you have it in you, just dont ever give up." and i wanted to cry bc OH JESUS THEY ARE SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. Paul Pinto is THE MOST™. i absolutely love it even after the show he had SO much energy. i was like 😮 how. Nick Choksi is adorable and wears so much eyeliner and he also talked to the little girl next to me about how excited he would be to see her name up on a marquee one day and i cried. I have no idea what I said to him bc again i was starstruck. My best friend died a little bc she loves him and i think it was honestly one of the best moments of her life. Amber, Oak, and Denee didnt come out (sobs) but APPARENTLY Renee Elise Goldsberry was there to congratulate Oak and support him and i was to cry again. OK DAY TWO STAGE DOOR: * this was a scary night for me * i got into a fight with a man because he was being exceptionally rude to the actors and i called him out on it and he started screaming at me and then he started pushing this other lady right when Shoba was signing in front of us and she looked so scared and i feel so fucking bad * also his daughter was obviously a huge fan of the show and was so excited to see the cast and when he got kicked out she was sobbing and i will maybe never forgive myself for ruining this girls night on broadway but someone needed to say something. he was straight up making fun of the cast as they were three feet away from him and the final straw for me was when he said "some one needs to go in there and grab that blond bitch by the hair and drag her out here. if no one else will ill do it" and so i turned around and said "excuse me sir would you mind turning down the vulgarity. it's incredibly disrespectful" and he said some of the meanest things i have ever heard from another person (called me a bitch, told me i would always be alone, tried to intimidate me by saying he was three times my age... i was just like that says more about you than it does about me man) any way the security guy (idk his name but i love him) got him to leave and then once he was gone i started crying bc everyone around me was patting me on the back trying to make me feel better and that makes me cry apparently. * SO THEN ANGLE MAN MCSECURITY came over and tried to cheer me up as did many other people which really only made it worse but everyone was being so kind and trying to distract me and finally i said "FUCK IT I CANT BE CRYING WHEN LUCAS STEELE COMES OUT" and everyone laughed and i started to stop crying. OK SO WHEN LUCAS CAME OUT AND GOT TO ME ANGLE SECURITY MAN SAID "lucas just so you know this girl has had a really hard time just now. a man was being very confrontational with her in the crowd, (wait for it) can she have a hug" and lucas stared into my eyes (LMAO I AM NATASHA) and said (his voice was so raspy and he was definitely not supposed to be speaking) "im so sorry but if i hug you i have to hug everyone, im so sorry that you had an altercation. here i can do this" AND HE STARTED RUBBING MY HAND IN CIRCLES AND I ABOUT DIED and i said "its ok i totally understand, you are actually fantastic (AND I LOVE YOU, actually no i didnt say that) can i have a picture?" and he said yes (its so bad) and then went down the line more BUT HOLY FUCK * and THEN i asked the totally innocuous question to angle security man, out if curiosity not wanting to do it myself, "not to sound presumptuous or anything but how is it that people grt to go back stage at things like this?" and he said friends or family and i said ok, makes sense i was just curious. THEN HE CAME BACK 3 MINUTES LATER AND SAID "i just wanted to let you know i tried to get you back stage, my friend Summaya is in the cast would have taken you but she already left. i hope thats ok." and i just kind of stared at him bc I WASNT ASKING TO GO BACK MYSELF IT WAS A FOR FUTURE REFERENCE THING and i said "no no of course i totally understand dont worry about it" * GUESS WHAT ELSE HAPPEND BRITTAN ASHFORD WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE CAME OUT i started pointing and talking incoherently and he said, "do you want Brittan's autograph?" and i just kind of nodded and he BROUGHT HER OVER TO ME * Nicholas Belton didnt come out the stage door but he apparently was meeting up with Cathryn and a bunch of the other cast after the show bc i saw him as i was walking to my uber and i just kind if stalked him a little bit bc OMG and i love that they all go out together after the show * Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas Jones were at the show to see Oak and they went in the stage door and Jasmine waved right to me after she saw me waving at her. they showed up separately and i was like OMG ARE THEY OK I HOPE THEYRE OK... but its all good * and Alex Gibbson told me that he was proud of me for having read War and Peace because his copy was collecting dust in the attic somewhere and i laughed * and BRAD GIOVANINE REMEMVERD ME at the sage door he said "hey! you were here last night werent you?" and i said "YEAH!" and he said "yes, i thought i recognized you in the audience! thank you so much for coming back" and i said "I wouldnt have missed it, thank you for telling this story" and that was a definite highlight OK SO THE REASON THAT THIS SHOW IS MAGIC: so the main message of war and peace is that people are good, and redemption, for even the most base of people, is not only possible it is probable because when you break it down we are all imbued with humanity which can triumph when/if we let it. the show doesnt necessarily show that redemptive possibility because it is the part of the story where literally everyone is at their worst. BUT the acting and intention behind the blocking and the small things show that even the very worst of characters (cough anatole, cough helene, cough dolokohv), that we really shouldnt sympathize with based on their actions, are portrayed in such a way that it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see them as, at their root, good. it is impossible to not see their humanity. their weaknesses are on full display, but those weaknesses are merely weakness. they are not evil, they are a result of circumstance and upbringing. not to mention the characters we are supposed to love... they are so easy to forgive its ridiculous in conclusion: Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812 is the bets musical i have ever seen. I love the cast with all of my heart because of their talent and kindness, I will NEVER forget the magic that was tonight. i CANNOT believe that this show is closing. I will never see anything like it ever again and its a travesty. I hope one day there is a revival that is this good... i have hope 🙏🏻.

[adventuresingalavania-blog]

Journal #3 Entry 1 Day 8 of my Journey

SON OF A SATYRS SHITHOLE. Yesterday was Pure Insanity wrapped up in some crazy mans delusions! First, the middle of town’s street caves in,  there’s a flipping ICE elemental down there who is really fucking confused. We meet this smelly ass fish dude who was lookin’ at me like i was a ham on sale at the market. THE MOTHER FUCKER KIDNAPPS ME DOWN IN THE SEWER AND WHISKS ME AWAY LIKE IM A FUCKIN SACK OF ‘TATERS! oh,  OH, then it gets better. not only has he taken me,  but he tells me to ‘be silent little woman! you are to be given to my master!’    oy! dont tell me to be quiet first of all, and second of all im not gonna be given to no-body! the worst part is that i can hear Carina and Garun splashing through-  looking for me, calling my name into the pipe works.  but what was overwhelming the both of them, was this deep rumble beneath the water of this great tankard. pillars lifted from the water- covered in these strange doodles n writings all over em.  the place was littered with old relics and dirty water.   He sat me down on a stone  that lifted into the air. when suddenly some great big monstrous beasty...immensely indescribable- alright just think of your worst nightmare then times that by eighteen and you’ve got this massive ugly fucker. It starts talkin’ to the fishman,  then gets angry.. apparently im not big enough for his liking... oh he wanted to EAT ME.  while he was attacking his minion- i jumped off, swam away- found a chest and grabbed some loot then out came bounding my two companions. wet and nervious,  carina scooped me up n hugged me, it was nice-  I know I can count on her.   BUT WAIT. There’s MORE. suddenly the whole place starts shaking and waters coming- so we run for an opening in the wall- and we end up jumping down all the way into a cold ass river.  its snowing outside as well.  I bout froze my tits off in that water.   We all managed to swim to shore-  my fingers and toes were numb- I didnt feel the pain in my feet for once so i knew something was wrong. Carina helped me get my wet clothing off- and she took hers off as well- holding me close to her to keep me warm.  Garun did the same. Sweet Melora that man is PACKING.  its about as thick as me forearm and bout as long too!  No shame...I like that.  We started a small  fire and huddled close together around it till  we could  go back.  Garun saw our Slave marks...and we had to explain why we were so close to eachother.   Ive never seen someone so quick to want to protect us in my whole life.