#they also told me class was tues/thurs and then they updated it like 2 weeks ago to mon/wed so fuck if i know they may have changed it

[stevie-baby]

I finally have my interview for the trade school I’ve been trying to get into since last summer and I want to fucking vom

[itsjusta]

March 1. (Mon)

my damgos were idiooots i had 2!!!! grrrr issa da first one was so sad and scary doe cos there were 3 of us in a room. it was me, mom, and a friend but idk who doeee and naa nisulod nga gunman tas gipusil niya sila duha and si mommy doe kay critical and grabe ang awas sa dugo so ako gihiktan sa cloth pero grabe na ako hilak doeee :(( and gitawagan nako si daddy doe but wala sya nituo iya rako pasagdan huhu and gitawagan tka doeee tas nianhi ka but u didnt help doeee u just left doe :((( i was so hurt doeee issa i felt betrayed cos wa gyd mo nitabang and mommy was dying doe :(( tas atong nakasakay nami sa tricycle going to hospital issa na see pa gyd tka sa dalan and gitawag tka but nag meet up man diay mo saimo uyab wth doeee i just cried a lot doe i was so scared na mamatay si mommy and i was alone HUHU and nakamata ko doeee and naa na gyd tears sako eyes :((( naka cry jd ko in real life huhu dat was so scary and so sakit doe!!!

da 2nd damgo also an idiot doeee cos kaslon na daw ko doe but di gyd ko gusto cos young paman kooo but daghan politicians nangadto doe and daghan gyd people naa pa gani ka hahha idk who’s my groom doeee but before ko nisulod sa church kay nang hangyo ko sko friend nga itakas ko doe so gikuha namo car ni Unabia and we drove away doeee HAHAHHA but then i got konsensya doeee luoy au mga people so ana ko balik nalang mi but i will explain na di gyd ko magpakasal doeee!!!! issa gi chat pa gani tka ato dayon doe i informed u nga mubalik ko aish but when we went back issa ang groom napd nawala doeee hahahah idiooot!!!

dis was a kapoy day doeee nag do ko smol acads lang then nag sleep lang and watch2 kdrama and tv heheheh i also realized na 9 months nata bulag omg?!?! so fast ang panahooon 🥺

March 2 (Tues)

issa an okay daaay langgg doeee issa 8 kapin ko kamata so early doeee aish so i hd iced coffee chour!!! issa nag acads pd ko hehe also nag gmeet mi ni claire for our midterms doeee and issa ordered mcflurry and fries yummy doe hehehe just watched tv with mom lang dayon after doee!! nag play pd ko codm with friends but kadjot lang 3 games laaang hehe and balik lang dayon ko room mom doeee tambay lang ko while watch sya tv heheh

March 3 (Wed)

issa an okay day lang alsooo doeee but dugay au time now!! issa after lunch i wanted to sleep doeee but so igang in my room and naa pajd ga videoke sa silingan and my mind also active aissshhh 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ issa watch nalang ko movie and then nag do midterms with claire doeee hehe

issa amo midterms doeee kay murag mag interview mi about samo personal problems jd doeee shy ko tell kay claire sako problems like sa family doeee and kato self harm aishhh ikaw ra baya nakabalo ato doeee :((( but its okay aishhh for da grades and issa klarye raman pd doeee i can also trust dat idiot heheh i also talked about our break up doe naka cry ko laytch uy!!! hahahah

when mommy arrived issa watch pd ko rv saiya room doeee

also i’m like an idiot doeee gi mute baya tka sa ig but sge ko adto saimo profile to see if naa ka story?!?! and maybe if naa dayon ma hurt dayon ko HAHAHHA issa so tiring to be an idiot 🤦🏻‍♀️

March 4 (Thurs)

i dont like this day doeee heavy ako heart since pag wake up and cry ko a looot and overthink ko a looottt 😔 just an extra hard daaaay today!!!! so hard to pugong the tears doeee 🥺🥺 (wrote dis before u sent pa dat msg doeee omg very emotional day gyd!!!)

issa sayo ko ka sleep gahapon doeee mga 11 hehe but aish 10 pa nag start naman ko sleep doe cos sleepy nako and bored na au ko doeee sleep nalang ko but my mind so activeeee many ko think nga sad tots issa idiot mind making me cry a litol!! hahah issa 11 na nuon ko ka sleep 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ issa wake up pd ko 7 kay naa ko class doeee issa not nice ako sleep uy issa ga damgo2 ko doeee and my latest damgo was classmate ta doe and di ka ga bali2 saako like imo ko gina avoid doeee issa idiooot bahala ka uy!!!! making me not feel good huh!!!! even when i woke up issa not ko feel good bcos of dat hmppp issa heavy ako heart pag wake up today!!!

issa ordered pancake and iced coffee from mcdo doeee palibre ko mo ako gi eat after class then nag do dayon ko isa ka activity heheh issa mga 10 am dayon nag walking mi sa dogs outside doeee kami pretprot and babas but mga 5 mins lang cos init!!!

issa cried pa more in the afternoon doeee issa mag nap unta ko but aisshhh my mind is thinking of a lot of things doeee :((( i feel like a lot will change doe and changes scare me doeee :(( i feel like u dont want to talk na doeee cos idk issa lahi imo vibes nooow murag feel nako gaka pugos rakag reply hahahaha and it makes me cry cos cutting off commu is going to be a big change gyd but again, i know nga if the time comes, i will have to accept man gyd and i know that time will come doeee but even if i know nga muabot doe kay its so sakit gihapon doe and its so scary :((( das why thinking about it doe just makes me cry hahah and aishhh i feel jd doe dat youre tired of talking to me HAHAHHA i even went to mom’s room doe para di nako cry but cry man gyapon ko uyyyy idiot

u know i’ve accepted najd doe nga di gyd ma return ako love and effort saimo but sometimes issa it just hurts so much doeee to not receive it back and days like these i ask for strength jd doe nga makaya nako ang kasakit 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (dis was before pa u told me to cut off doe omg issa strong gut feeling jd)

anddd yun na nga issa nag ask najd diay ka mag cut off and aisshhh it was scary gyd doe and sakit but no choice :(((( it’s for the best gyd sguro doeee cos maybe i’ll get in trouble and maybe mag away pd mo doe ion want u to be sad doeee if u get away :((( u know gyd na i will always kaya everything basta its for ur happiness doe 🥺🥺 i wish u only the best doeee even if kailangan mulayo ko saimoha doeee hehehe thank you for calling me!!!!! don’t miss me too much ok!!! bleh!!

if u feel overwhelmed na gyd with acads u can chat me ok!!!! and if u want to learn to edit vids doeee inshot is a good app heheh

March 5 (Fri)

issa woke up before 9 doeee idk why nga 1 naman unta ko ka sleep 🤦🏻‍♀️ grabe kahubag ako eyes doeeee so idiot huhu issa i saw pd irian’s tiktok when i woke up doeee cos i went man to ur profile issa u look good and happy together doe 🥺🥺 you guys are bagay doeee and i like seeing you laugh in the vids doeee issa makes me happy na inana ka ka happy 🥺🥺 i want u to be happy lang uyyy no no sad!! i pugong na not to cry doeee cos i cried a lot na kaayo gabii and my eyes so big naaaa but writing dis issa makes me cry a litol hahahha issa when i see raba stuff lyk dat dugay kaayooo mawala sako mind doeee unhealthy mind mani but aish im practicing gyd not to think about the stuff i see about u guys 💆🏻‍♀️

anywaaay today is day 1!!! ahhahah char 🥺🥺 im scared doe but idk alsoooo im just really thinking na its needed doe 🥺 im doing this for you gyddd doe cos i want u to have a happier relationship doe issa u know i would sacrifice a lot for ur happiness heheh i will also do this for myself doeee i will try not cry a lot and miss u alooot ok but i think gonna be hard esp the first weeks doeee so dont kasaba me if i cry a lot ok!!! :(((( u know i cry easily hmpppp

alsooo doeee my new tiktok is: displaylangsatiktok.a

u cant follow gyd me diay doeee its ok ako nalang gi public ang vids doeee im shy hahah but para ma see nimo doeee and unfollow nalang pd tkaaaa para not sya maka see sa ako profile okayyy but idk doe im shy man uy maybe ako ra i friends again issa di ka maka see aishhh bleh

i had iced coffee at 9:30 am doeee hehe i divided one medium iced coffee sa mcdo into 3 para mulast sya 3 mornings cos u know i palpitate if i drink a lot of coffee doeee hehhe at lunch time we went to laguidingan doe kami mom and daaad hehe we uban pretprot and babas kay luoy man pretty if sya lang alone 🤦🏻‍♀️ issa chivas doe sge pangaway sa mga dogs outside nya mga big raba jd doe and many pa gyd sila but isog au da smol dog!!!

issa i’m justi doing things that help me pass timeee doeee now issa nag draw2 ko kadjot doeee hahah and watch movie alsooo i just have to get used to this again doeee whenever i get the urge to cry doe i tell myself no no nooo huhu but idk if i can hold dis doee later if mag sleep nako

update: 9:58 and i cannot hold it na doeee cry na gyd ko cos i can see that u really love her doeee and aish sana ol 🥺🥺 u r a great person doe and she’s blessed to have youuu 🥺 and im so sorry if i bother you doeee :(

dis my last weekly update na okaaay i will do an everyday diary naaa so dat u will always be updateeed 🥺 maybe around 9-10pm every night ko post okaaay heheh

[pochqmqri]

I’m so frustrated with how my Biology professor handles coursework

Since we use an online classroom system, most of the work is submitted through there. However, she isn’t very clear or specific as to when most of the quizzes and assignments are due. Online assignments have a specific submission window that closes past a specific date, and instead of labeling the assignments with their respective due dates, she instead has a “Due Date” section in her class section, which she uses to detail what’s due in the current week. That’s not necessarily bad, but she isn’t consistent with how she handles dates.

It was worse last week when she didn’t even use the Due Date section to post a couple assignments that we had to do, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt back then.

Keep in mind that I have talked to her before, but she made it seem like I was at total fault for not keeping up/paying attention.

For example, I was to do three online quizzes (she called them ‘Quiz 1’ and so forth, but they were labeled with specific names in the folder) before Monday of this week, however there were only two quizzes in the folder that I saw on the Friday before. I managed to do one quiz quickly, but on Sunday, the other quiz I was planning to do vanished. When I went back to class on Monday, other students also had the same problem. She reinstated the one quiz that ‘closed’ before its assigned due date, but just told the students to do quizzes ‘earlier’ next time. She apparently has her quizzes last until ‘the middle of Sunday,’ which she could have just written down instead of ‘before Monday.’ I managed to do 2/3 of the quizzes assigned so far, and I learned that the one quiz that never showed up for me in the folder actually had a much earlier ‘internal’ due date than written down, as we are only three weeks into the class so far. She didn’t reinstate that quiz for me, just told me that if I continue to do the rest of the quizzes, she’ll ‘drop’ that missing grade.

Another frustrating example is this one assignment she said was due on Saturday, but the ‘internal’ due date for the submission window said Thursday instead, which is very misleading. When the students brought this up, she said that the assignment was due on Thursday, and that you could still turn it in by Saturday for loss of partial points. That’s still misleading, because she never mentioned it was a ‘deadline’ or anything. When I completed the assignment today, I noticed the ‘internal’ due date was now pushed back to Saturday instead of Thursday, so I honestly wonder what the hell was the point.

A more inconsiderate point was that on Monday, when she updated the Due e Date list, she put a Pre-Assessment that we were supposed to do, but instead of online, you had to go physically take it in the campus’ testing center during their hours outside of class. That was the due the Wednesday directly after Monday, and she seemed insistent on that being turned in on time, but the fact is, several people in my class have obligations such as work, so they need a bit more time than just two days notice.

It may be because she’s a part-time professor (she only has office hours early in the week) and may not know the online system as well, and that she teaches a Tues-Thurs class in tandem with our Mon-Wed one, but I’m sort of getting exhausted, as I tend to do things towards the later minute rather than early, which is definitely not a crime. I’m considering dropping the course while I still have time before the drop date, but I won’t be able to get a refund, as the deadline for that was 28th of last month. It’s actually kind of bullshit, we didn’t start class this semester until the 23rd, because the 21st was a holiday, and so we only had about two course days to see if we could get our money back.

I fear she’s going to make me hate Biology by the end of the semester.

[athleisure-aesthetic]

Ugh I did the thing again where I was busy all week and forgot to post on here. So here’s a lightning fast recap of my workouts from the past week, if you care at all. I actually think I worked out (ish, except Friday kinda) every day which is a first in a while. Bless.

Tues Mar 21 Abs and shopping. I went home after work to get my car so that I could drive to trainings the next two days, but went out to Target as soon as I got home, cause duh. Stupid idea to try on like real clothes tho, my self-conscious ass was like ohhhhh no way you need to tighten up those saddle bags and that back fat before you get any of this. So. I got a crop sweatshirt and athletic leggings, felt bad about myself but hadn’t had dinner, so I went to Wawa. Woof.

3x each 15 reps straight leg raises 15 reps roll ups leaning camel x 45s bird dogs x 45s 60 reps heal touches plank 35s, 40s, 45s 10 reps assisted push up 40 reps russian twists 8# alternating superman 1 min 15 reps single leg pulses

Wed Mar 22 Run on the trail after this horrific training class in which I was literally the only student for an all day session. And I had to go back the next day 😩 went to Marshall’s before my run to see if I could find any cold weather gear bc I only had my sweatshirt, gloves, wool earwarmers, and thin leggings. Didn’t find any of that, but got those AMAZING NEON PINK LEGGINGS IN THAT ONE PICTURE and some other ones too. You know me, can’t stay away from that athleisure ish.

It was hella freezing and took me so long to warm up once I started on the trail. Fortunately it was so picturesque and my music was bangin so. I survived.

2.78 mi 9'55" min / mi

Thurs Mar 23 6 x 200m sprints on the trail. Bless up, convinced my instructor to finish early bc tbh he was not really all that helpful once I started following the book that was included, so I went to the mall and got some more athleisure (deh), cheap sunglasses, athletic ear warmers for $.50 each, a VERY cute lightweight rain jacket, and (!!!!!) these black leather slip-on sneakers I’ve been looking for for like 6 months. I just caved and got the name brand ones but stILl omg I’m so excited about them I finally found them.

Started the sprints in the cotton leggins I was wearing, then after like maybe 9 or 10 strides I was like oh FUCk no they suddenly lost all their elasticity and I was having to pull them up for my life. So after completely embarrassing myself hoisting those mothereffers up for my first sprint, I jumped in the car and changed into spandex pants, then zoomed back to the trail start and actually did my workout. Good thing my house is only 8 minutes away from that part of the trail.

I think I may have mis-read what my Nike app was telling me to do, but I’m pretty sure it said to do 6 x 200m sprints with 4:45 min in between. So that’s essentially what I did, I sprinted for the 200m and ran / jogged in between. Although the app only recorded the distance for the sprints, I wanna say I did a little more than the day before, since I went further on the trail. I hate that you can’t go back and check what it told you to do; you only see how you actually ran according to the app. Lame af. Though I was proud, I increased my sprint speed at almost every length except the 3rd.

0.77mi 6'59" min / mi (lol can’t believe I actually ran a mile faster than that at one point in my life holy shit)

Fri Mar 24 No real workout here, since I had to leave work early to take the train back to le Nova for Palooza. I scarfed down a Snap pizza (the classic spot) right before the show, and somehow stayed away from the dangers of late night college food. Though I did get all my steps in my showing one of our friends’ home friend around campus, and apparently that little tour counted for a nice brisk walk. Obvi the Snovas killed it, as a great opener for what my friends and I dubbed AcaWeekend. Saturday they’d be competing at ICCA regional semifinals #pitchperfect for the first time ever, which was so exciting. Palooza the day before was just their warmup, but fortunately we got to see two new songs from them. It kinda sucked for them though bc they went first out of the seven groups and the sound guys always need a few groups to warm up before they actually refine the balance, and they just sounded muddled. Womp. Oh well. Everyone knows they’re/we’re the best anyway. Proud alum.

Sat Mar 25 Run in the morning before the day’s festivities. This was a quick workout before most of the humans who stayed in my apartment became humans, a brief mile ish to the waterfront and back. I realized I’d been wearing a blueish shirt and black leggings in literally all of my pics lately so I spiced it up with these fun stripey ones. Lol.

We adventured to brunch, where I had a yummy spinach and goat cheese salad with fig dressing, and wandered around the city for the afternoon before we had to head to semis. I splurged on Hunger Burger at RTM because I told myself that this was my indulgence for the weekend, and I wasn’t going to be drinking anymore for the next few months (it’s not like I do it that often anyway, I just want to try it to see how it helps my training/weight loss, if at all), so I got a specialty thin mint shake. Woops. Honestly, it was so worth it though, and I didn’t even end up eating most of the fries anyway, so it wasn’t the worst I could’ve done.

At semis, there were literally so many good groups and we were all like oh shit how are they going to stack up?? But Snovas SLAYED even better than they did last time and ENDED UP IN THIRD PLACE WHICH IS THE CRAZIEST BEST HONOR WE’VE EVER GOTTEN AND IT’S JUST SO COOL!!!!! A cappella is the shit, guys, I swear. I’m so proud of those kiddos, and they get to submit a wildcard video for a chance at Finals in NYC which is like legitimately insane. They’re somewhere in the top 18-27 groups in the country right now, and coming from a school where we legit don’t have music majors and a joke of a music activities staff / support, this coulD NOT be cooler. They murdered it. And so did all the other groups at semis, like damn. We weren’t even sure anything was gonna happen for them, but they clearly did some things right. Ugh so obvi we celebrated when we got back to Philly, going to a few bars and ending up at Frankford, where we got some amazing soft pretzels and other snacks. Best day ever.

1.26 mi 9'21" min / mi

1.32 mi 10'03" min / mi

Sun Mar 26 Long ish run and relaxing. Got up and was worried about the weather forecast for Monday because I was supposed to be doing my long run for next week then, and it was going to be torrentially downpouring all day, so I was hoping to switch my days because the weather was decent enough that I could’ve done it on Sunday. But then I updated my app and A, it changed my schedule for this week anyway, and B, I remember I could’ve moved it anyway if I wanted to. So instead I went and did that 5K Sunday challenge thing that it introduced. And I ran back from there, so it actually was closer to the 5 miles I had wanted to do anyway. So ya.

I felt a little subconscious in these leggings because, though they are a spectacularly bright and amazing color, they also show my cellulite on the back of my legs… but I thought, fuck it, people will see me, and if they give me a look, I’ll just push harder and show them that cellulite means nothing if you’re fast and capable and strong. So. I used it to empower me, I guess.

Spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching ICCA videos, still hyped up on the Snovas victory. Legit it’s still coming to me in waves, it’s actually incredible.

3.11 mi 9'41" min / mi

1.53 mi 9'44" min /mi

Mon Mar 27 Full body circuit and a benchmark run. Work is starting to bore me so much lol on Monday I think I may have done approximately 2 work related things all day, otherwise I was just distracted. I decided to do a NTC workout and then my benchmark, so I chose Body Flexor 2.0, which worked a lot of different areas and was pretty fun. Then I ran on the treadmill for my benchmark for the first time, which was weird knowing my exact speed at certain times and being able to force myself to a certain pace. If I have to do it that way again, next time I’ll just cover the numbers and just focus on how it feels to push hard. The picture up there is me literally dying because of how sweaty I was. Plus fun leggings from Marshall’s.

1.54 mi 9'49" min / mi

Tues Mar 28 Abs / some arms, plus 20 minutes on the elliptical. I was an idiot today, and not only forgot a hair tie after my shower, but I left my phone at home, which I realized too late in the elevator on the way to work. Nice. So I had to go without both all day, though Kelly let me borrow a hair tie so I could work out thank GoD cause I was looking at using a legit rubber band, which would’ve been awful. The moves I chose for abs today ended up also working my arms a lot, which was nice to combo them. Because I didn’t have my phone, I just kind of had to make up my elliptical workout, which was meh but whatever. Next time I’ll be prepared. That’s definitely not my favorite type of cardio anyway.

Tonight I made these AMAZING baked zucchini fries, I probably could’ve eaten like 90 million in one sitting they were so crunchy and good. My sweet potato fries didn’t turn out so good (I actually burned the shit out of them, but I’m going to attempt to eat them tomorrow for lunch anyway 🙃) but I’m happy I’m trying new things in the kitchen, even if it’s taking me like 3 hours each time lolol.

I’m down a few pounds from last week, though, which is kind of nice! A little affirmation after working hard every day.

3x each 15 reps dumbbell side bends alt. sides 8# 15 reps twisting core stabilizers alt. sides 8# 15 reps bow extensions alt. sides 8# 15 reps woodchops 8# 10 reps windmills 5# 40 reps russian twists 8# 30 s plank 7 reps full extension inch worms 15 reps in-&-outs

Wooooof I’m going to try to post more often now that I’m all caught up. Lol it may last for a day but you know. #Goals.