#they also think her taking classes online means that she. is a minor.

[mx-paint]

.

[sweetcloverheart]

You know, thinking about it some more, by "Derision"'s own premise - Marinette should have absolutely hated (or at least distrusted) Adrien day one regardless of the Umbrella apology, because him being friends with Chloe would have been the major issue/deal breaker. The moment she hears he's Chloe's childhood friend, she would have been doing utmost to avoid him at every turn despite him being so nice to her (After all, Kim was nice to her too, and look what happened there) because all the apparent deepseated trauma Chloe's prank left her.

Also, by extension, the class would have distrusted him too (and Kim maybe)? This is a dude that's apparently besties with the girl who's been harassing them for years and made their beloved favorite classmate go through a super traumatizing event the year before. A good majority of Adrien's first few months at Francois Dupount should have been the miraclass all avoiding him and playing interference whenever he tried to interact with Marinette, with the only minor exceptions being Nino (Who is the goodest of boys and also wasn't in the same class as Mari and Co when it happened but really should know regardless considering Chloe videotaped it and put it online?), Alya (Who just transferred in and likely wouldn't know what's happening either), and Chloe+Sabrina (The former of whom is more than happy that the losers are keeping away from her precious Adrichou! More of him for her then!). (And maybe also Kim? He probably sees it as Adrien going through what he did after the prank and deciding to buddy up/help him out since "nobody here knows how to take a joke")

Meanwhile, Adrien would feel so confused and isolated because his class all just hates him for some reason and he has no clue what he might of did to make them all mad at him? And it just makes school feel like home except 100 times worst because at least he (thinks he) knows why his dad often ignores and avoids him. And speaking of, he can't go to him about the problem because he'll just use the class's actions as an excuse to lock him back up in the manor for homeschool because it just "proves" he was completely right about Adrien not being safe at public school, and Chloe's no good either because her "help" (i.e Calling daddy or the principal to take away a class privilege or get a trip/activity cancelled those mean losers made her precious Adrien sad - so fix it or else!) ends up just worsening the divide, so he's basically on his own except for Plagg (who sadly can't really intervene in a way that would actually solve the issue). It also ends up funneling into making his crush on Ladybug 220% more codependent because it's literally one of the very few relationships he has where he isn't being treated like a leaper, idol, or a nuisance...except it turns out she also hates Adrien - but that's fine, because Chat Noir hates Adrien too! Dude's just the worst, don't you think my lady? So everything fine because they can hate Adrien together and bond through that (self hatred and poor coping mechanisms go brrr~)!

Basically the first 2 and a half seasons should have played out like an "Enemies!AU" where Marinette and most of the Miraclass is convinced Adrien is Chloe's new vice chief bully and act accordingly as Adrien desperately tries (and fails) to make friends and figure out why everyone dislikes him so much, while the Ladynoir side has the two bonding over how much they hate that lame blonde modeling twink from the magazines.

...Ah crap, now I want to make an AU.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Thinking on Lila cos of those other asks & recalled that "Adrien is not allowed to go to school" AU I think we discussed or maybe it was with generaluxum?

Either way, the story is mostly the same, LB & Chat are more overtly into each other but the identity thing makes them mark their relationship as "Its complicated."

one third of episodes focus on Mari, Alya & Nino and their adventures, with a subplot of Adrien, Chloe & Sabrina doing shenanigans. IE Cosplay confusion in Lady Wifi, or playing online shooters with a surprisingly aggressive Sabrina while Gamer is happening.

Another third of episodes centering on Adrien's adventures with Chloe & Sabrina there for support. While Mari & co get up to minor stuff before the plot hits them. Like Mari trying to help Nino & Alya's valentine plans or fix the broken phone issue.

The remaining third are crossover episodes, usually brought about by Chloe sneaking Adrien into class group stuff (Nino's film) or him trying to help with her election campaign, or being on hand for the hat contest.

The complexities come from Volpina/Collector.

Mostly because Volpina doesn't happen, Lila lying is a Marinette related subplot with her trying to get Lila alone as LB to explain that's dangerous. Only for an Akuma whipped up chasing the Lila rumor to find them & lead Gabriel & the public to conclude LB is indeed buddies with Lila.

Meanwhile the main plot is Adrien fining the book, almost being discovered by Gabriel. But convenient Chloe rant incoming about this "Haught Lila girl" letting him slip away with said book & with Plagg's advice & Chloe's help going for a massage. She deduces his identity.

This leads to the Collector being a case where Gabriel suspects Adrien & Marientte (As Lila transferred into her class). While Adrien and once introduced to Fu, Marinette suspect Gabriel.

Which leads to the Collector trying to go after them both to win and protect his identity & Fu having to roll out the Fox & bring Alya & Chloe in to help covered for an already captured in civilian forms Marinette & Adrien.

Gabriel plays off the book thing & had also 'collected' Nathalie, so he's mostly safe but does maybe lose the book.

Thus setting up the S2 status quo of:

Lila being Hawk Moth's new designated damsel much to her ire. "I didn't think the local supervillain would take me seriously, but I can't walk it back now, I'd look stupid!"

Chloe & Alya being secret keepers for their besties as well as back up heroes. Also less classroom drama as Chloe decided the school stuff is kids stuff & is obsessed with being a good hero now, so distracted.

Nino & Sabrina being back up, back up heroes as Hawk Moth becomes increasingly effective. Sabrina gets the Horse.

Kagami serving as the connective element between heroes civilian lives via:

Being in Adrien & Chloe's circles & so being encouraged to be friends with them. Being one of the few people Adrien is allowed to hang out with, & her skills meaning she is a go to in Adrien's eyes if he ever gets to recruit a third hero.

Plus, because her first day at school was kind of a hot mess thanks to her whole story tropes challenge the best fencer thing did less to make her look cool & more to make her look like a jerk leading to Akumatization. Cos LB was on hand for an explanation after the fact she as Marinette befriends Kagami & smooth over ruffled feathers. Kagami decides she is friend shaped & is always inviting her, Alya & Nino to events. Also Marinette deems her a potential go to as well. (Chloe is silently screaming off camera, "How come she gets to push people around and get friends!?")

Not sure if any of the other Kwami would be shuffled cos of these events, IE maybe fox Nino cos he's a director or the like.

I think that's a bit complicated but it works quite well!

[catesartworks]

Answering Asks about Isekai Maid! Pt.2

Asks are down below under the cut, and there are a bunch! Some of these are a bit old, sorry I couldn’t get to them in time. ( T w  T  )

Warning, I’m going to talk about topics like stalking, sui//cide, slavery, and domestic abuse. There’s also some swearing in the asks as well. 

Someone else does it, I have no presence on TVtropes. :P

Thank you! Yes, I really enjoyed making Phantom in the Mirror, it actually helped me a lot and without it I wouldn’t have a lot of the building blocks to make Isekai Maid.

I liked Melissa a lot, Yona and Yuri. Wish Yuri/Melissa were endgame, honestly, but I do like Nine too!

As for dislikes, I feel like Nine’s brother was a bit underdeveloped and I wanted them to really dive deep into his character and why he is the way he is. We get some of it in the side stories, but I really feel like there is something missing about him to make him whole...!

I want an anime dang it!

I think it’s a matter of framing. So much of Otome Isekai in general is about reframing certain scenarios and looking at other character’s points of view. I’m sure that if we were following these characters in a comic/novel, we would be conditioned to accept whatever they do, even if it seems cruel because in this genre many protagonists believe that the ends justify the means as long as they have the excuse of “I need to survive at any cost.”

So Otome Isekai protagonists can justify having servants/commoners dragged away and executed/punished because they “didn’t know their place.” They can excuse things like slavery because “oh well, it’s the world I live in can’t stop it!,” and freely indulge in buying people. And there will be readers who don’t look past the in universe justifications and accept it at face value.

Yes, Phoebe wanted to make sure that Clara didn’t have any allies. Interestingly enough, the original book that Phoebe and Clara were isekai’d into, “Flowers Thrive in Autumn,” was poorly received by audiences because of the tragedy elements and the ultimate fate of the original Phoebe (dying from domestic abuse) and Clara was one of the most hated characters in the book.

Helen, the reincarnator, was one of the readers who couldn’t stand her and thought that Clara didn’t deserve to have a happy ending because she felt it was at the expense of Phoebe. She was also a fan of the prince character, who was a minor character and she wanted to use him for protection. Phoebe reasoned that if Clara had any help or allies whatsoever that it would cause a butterfly effect and the story would make Phoebe die once again.

One week. I work a lot of hours, it’s difficult to keep track because it can vary a lot.

I do 15 hours to do sketching, resketching based on the 3D model where I draw over the rendered image and lineart/flats.

6 hours to render the backgrounds in Blender (I have a specific process where I keep the model and size reference and lineart separated and have to save 3 files at a time).

Roughly it takes about 9 hours to add shadows, textures, and effects (5 hours if I book it!).

2-3 hours for writing dialogue, and about an hour and a half before launching the comic online to check for spelling errors.  And that doesn’t count when I have to reupload chapters after the fact when I notice errors, which can extend my schedule by one day or so.

Sometimes it’s more, since my schedule slips up and I don’t pull all nighters anymore (too tiring!).

Yes, Phoebe is aware that Joshua’s death is an accident. But she felt that Phoebe took most of the brunt of the blame and thinks that Clara should take most of it.

I think that there are so many things in the world that are normal, like demons being such a real threat where they have to alter funeral practices to keep them from spreading, to magic schools and teleportation, that the idea of reincarnation isn’t too far fetched.

Thanks! Unfortunately, I have had the displeasure of watching that film for a film class. It wouldn’t surprise me if readers who justify slavery in stories like Death is the Only Ending for the Villainess, would look at Scarlett O’Hara and think of her as an inspiration.

We already have a lot of slavery isekai (which, honestly...why.), and while it breaks my heart that people justify and gush over slaveowners like Penelope and Scarlett O’Hara, it’s nothing new and is a sign that these kinds of stories are doing harm in how we depict human suffering in slavery.

Even back when the movie was released, people thought of Scarlett as a role model, even when she was the face of the exploitation and gleefully participated in the cruelest forms of human trafficking and suffering. As long as it convenient for the protagonist to do so, people will just about justify anything they do.

Thank you! I find most of my designs from Dover Books, such as “Victorian Fashions: A Pictorial Archive, 965 Illustrations (Dover Pictorial Archive)“ and “Victorian and Edwardian Fashions from "La Mode Illustrée" (Dover Fashion and Costumes)“ You can find them on Amazon or online

Erica did regret it, and she did try to call it off, but it was too late. Erica at one point, truly did love Clara and thought of her as the daughter she never had, but she was also very subconsciously jealous of her older half sister, Misty (Clara’s mom) and took it out on Clara.

Erica and Misty were half sisters on their mother’s side. Their mother had slept with one of her Limpetta butlers, a man named Calvin, when she was an unmarried woman, and gave birth to Misty, who she adored. But her father forced her to give up Misty to Calvin and had them hidden away.

Her mother was then made to marry a much older man who was very wealthy. She gave birth to Erica, and while she showed her love but it was always underwhelming. When her husband died from old age, her mother wasted no time in finding Clavin again and marrying him, forgoing any inheritance she may have gotten as his wife and instead giving it to Erica.

Erica felt forgotten and familyless, but tried to maintain a relationship with Misty and be friendly with her. They were close, but there was always a lingering estrangement because Erica could tell that her mother loved Misty more than her.

When Misty got married and had Clara, Erica was given the chance to name her. Erica was touched and remained close to Clara. But the resentment still remained, and came again to the surface after she lost her son. She felt that Clara belonged to her more than Misty, and was the last remnant of her son but hated that she was alive while her son was dead.

I’ve watched both! ( T 7  T   ) Sorry, but I always watch Otome Isekai when it gets an anime adaptation.

Callisto...🤢🤮 Can’t stand slaveowner characters....I’ll take your word for it, I didn’t like him honestly!

Yep! She survived the Three Week Riot, her name is Tabitha Nguyen.

Sorry this answer came so late, but as soon I saw this message (back when the episode was posted) I updated the content warning!

Pretty much. Clara said in passing to Phoebe that she had other lives, but never elaborated much. Phoebe kind of just assumed that she was also a reader who coincidentally read the same book.

Prince Dimitri’s reason (or justification by the original author) for acting the way he is is due to his mother’s death. As a child, he lived the first eight years of his life as a commoner with his mother, a noblewoman. He was the king of Kolt’s son, and his mother wanted to raise him away from the palace life.

He asked where is dad was, and why he wasn’t with them. While searching for his dad, he accidentally revealed to someone in his village information about his noble mother’s whereabouts and they told the king. This lead to the king tracking them down and forcibly making his mother come back to the palace with him.

In most scenarios like this is Otome Isekai stories, the mother is able to repair her relationship with the king as he will be a good father to his son and she doesn’t have a choice either way (so, yeah, kidnapping and gaslighting). But this story took a deadly turn, as the king threatened to execute her for hiding an heir from him (he thought he was infertile and never took a wife).

He applied so much pressure on her that she broke psychologically. She took her own life. Dimitri felt immense guilt and felt that his want for a father lead to his mother’s death.

As a result of his own guilt, the king allowed him to get away with practically anything, even killing people. But Dimitri later kills his father, and there is a coup within the aristocracy that tries to execute the prince, which is how he is almost killed by assassins and meets Clara, or Phoebe depending on the timeline.

The thing is, Phoebe did have feelings for Dimitri, but she wasn’t sure his feelings for her were real, or that he was even a real person. Even years into the marriage she felt like this. Phoebe doesn’t think that the people around her as as real as her, think as deeply as her, or have true autonomy. She thinks that she lives in a world fully of puppets.

To her, all she did was be in the same place as Clara and say the same things as her. On one hand, it could mean that Prince Dimitri is his own person who chooses to be with someone different this timeline. But on the other hand, because she did what Clara did, it also means that he could swayed not by the individual actions person who saves him, but falls in love due to someone fulfilling a role and might as well just be a piece of code going through the motions.

To Phoebe, Prince Dimtri, unlike her father, was faithful and that was good enough for her. She wanted an attack dog that could protect her from her bad ending.

Nope, she’s a different character.

[aloeverified]

🎸🎤 HEX GIRL HEADCANONS 🎤🎸

Before forming a band together, each member had a miniature career of their own. Luna was a pretty popular online figure for her performances at bars and restaurants, Dusk went viral a few times from her rave shows, and Thorn had a history of starring in plays and talent shows all her life. They eventually found each other online and began talking, and after Thorn and Dusk immigrated to the U.S., they formed a band.

Although they live in America, Luna is the only one who was born there. She's Creole and was raised in New Orleans, Thorn is French-Candian and from Ontario, and Dusk is Japanese and from Kyoto. Due to where they grew up, they all speak different languages as well. Luna is fluent in Spanish and French, Thorn was raised speaking French just as much as English and knows a bit of Italian, and Dusk's first language is Japanese and she's fluent in JSL. They all began learning ASL after forming a band since Dusk is deaf in one ear and hard-of-hearing in her other.

Thorn's real name is Sally McKnight, Luna's is Selene Moon, and Dusk's is Twilight Yami. Thorn picked her name due to her love of roses, whereas Luna and Dusk simply picked names that have the same meaning as their own.

Due to her hearing loss, Dusk doesn't wear shoes when practicing or performing. When coming up with songs, Thorn doesn't wear shoes either since she claims it helps her feel closer to the music. Luna sometimes doesn't and says it's for the same reason but it's actually just because her boots hurt her feet after a while.

They each base their personas after different horror monster icons. Thorn's is Dracula, Luna's is the werewolf, and Dusk is inspired by both Frankenstein monsters. They also have very different gothic styles; Thorn being more of a romantic vampire goth with some witchy accents, whereas Luna is a trad and corp goth with lots of glam, and Dusk being more in the visual kei and metalhead scene with some cyber and bubble goth inspiration.

Thorn is known for being a bit of a bachelorette and dates anyone ranging from a trucker to a theater kid who thinks he's a vampire. Luna and Dusk, however, are in a relationship that they keep private from fans. Luna is a lesbian, Dusk is bisexual, and Thorn doesn't feel the need to label her sexuality.

Their fans often get into heated arguments over the girls' heights since Dusk is typically shoeless and the other wears heels. Thorn typically looks pretty tall since she's in the front and wears high heels, with Luna looking about the same in her boots behind her keyboard, whereas Dusk looks the shortest while barefoot and sitting down to play the drums; but the truth is Thorn is only about 5'4, Dusk is 5'8, and Luna is just over 5'10.

Their fans have nicknames for them based off of different creatures, with Thorn being called a succubus due to her seductive voice and dancing, Dusk being compared to a banshee since most of her back-up vocals are screams and her unhinged drumming, and Luna being recognized for her werewolf persona due to long nails, canine fangs, and loud howl-like laughter.

Rather than visiting a salon, they have nights every few weeks were they touch up their hair. Dusk is albino with naturally platinum hair which makes it so she she has to redye her hair every so often, whereas Luna and Thorn have to actually go through the process of bleaching their hair. Dusk typically dyes her hair a darker blonde or adds different shades of green streaks, Luna switches between dark red and blonde every so often, and Thorn either dyes her naturally brown hair black or bleaches it to make it a bright red — sometimes a combination of both.

They're all university students who avoid actually attending classes by taking online courses. Thorn is majoring in envoirmental science with a business minor, Dusk is a literature major studying philosophy, and Luna is in the process of graduating art school.

Thorn is most inspired by bands like She Wants Revenge and London After Midnight, whereas Dusk takes more after Malice Mizer and Bikini Kill, and Luna is one of the biggest fans of The Cure and the Bauhaus.

They regularly go on adventures together to places that are regarded as haunted or cursed. While on tour in different countries, they make it a habit to try and visit any attractions they haven't seen yet. Thorn particular likes haunted castles and cemeteries, Dusk is interested in asylums and prisons, and Luna is obsessed with any place that has a tragic backstory.

While Thorn is relatively good friends with Daphane due to their shared love of fashion and past romantic interests in Velma, and Dusk enjoys terrifying Shaggy and Scooby, Luna and Fred are actually able to have normal conversations

They love getting together with the Mystery Gang when possible. When she's not flirting with Velma, Thorn spends her time with Daphne talking about fashion and gossiping about their past experiences with stupid boys. Luna is also pretty good friends with Fred and they could have conversations for hours about random niche interests. Dusk and Velma have a shared passion for gothic literature and Velma also enjoys watching Dusk terrify Shaggy and Scooby when she's bored.

[blackhearted1]

~~~~ Grit ~~~~

A MHA OG FanFic that is a female reader insert.

This fic will touch on incredibly sensitive subjects and I will put warnings beforehand, as such this is 18+ and Minors DNI.

Grit is ongoing and I originally posted this on AO3, I don't post much online so bear with me this is honestly the first big thing I'm doing on Tumblr.... I do hope you enjoy amd comments are always welcome. I have many other fics with other characters as well so if interested please let me know. But now.... here is the first Chapter.

This series will involve multiple mentions of PTSD, rape/sexual assault, graphic depictions of violence, blood, gore, language, smut, self harm/ mutilation and multiple other sensitive topics, Reader Discretion is always advised.

~~~~

Ch 1: A Rough Introduction

Its the third year for Midoriya and his classmates at UA, he heard rumors from All Might that there will be a special exchange student from America to join them this year. The news has spread like wildfire because this is rare that this happens. Uraraka runs to Midoriya with Kaminari, Kirishima and Mina, waving they run to Deku who has Todoroki approaching as well as Bakugo.

" Hey Midoriya did you hear the news?" Kaminari asks.

" About the new exchange sudent? Yah I don't know why but I'm excited." Midoriya nods.

" I wonder what kind of Quirk they will have, I have never met an American yet I wonder what they are like?" Mina ponders.

Ojiro and Hagakure approach and wave at their friends, Hagakure runs to them and is shouting with excitement.

" Guys I saw some official looking cars turn back where Ojiro and I were walking, they had American flags on them!" Hagakure tells them.

" Really cool! Also multiple?" Kirishima asks.

" Great its some governor's pampered kid or some shit like that." Bakugo groans.

" Well how do you know?" Ojiro asks.

" Multiple cars means that the ones they aren't in are full of security." Bakugo sighs.

" I guess you're right but we don't know that yet." Kirishima shrugs.

" Hey there they are, look they are out of the car." Kaminari points out.

They look and see a girl, she has her uniform on and is standing in front of large men in uniform.

" Those patches, they are definitely from the Military, they look to be Navy." Midoriya comments.

" Woah her family is military then?" Uraraka asks.

" It's a safe bet to make until we know more about her." Todoroki nods.

The man in the front salutes her, the girl returns the salute and the men get in the car and leave. She returns to normal and turns heel to walk inside, they look and see she has on super compressed weights on her wrists and ankles along with a belt around her hips.

" Man those things are heavy, she has on at least 220 kilograms." Ojiro points out.

" Man she is training already?" Mina looks in shock.

" We should go say hi." Hagakure suggests.

" Uh she looks pretty pissed off maybe we should wait." Kirishima suggests.

As they say that they see other third years approach her, they start to harass the new girl but she doesn't even pay attention to them.

" Heh typical American, thinking they are too good for us." One of the kids sneer.

The girl doesn't even respond even when they are attacking her verbally, she just walks inside and the group just take a sigh of relief.

" Man I thought for sure there would be a fight." Kaminari takes a breath.

" Heh, she is well trained." Bakugo smirks.

" Well let's head to class and get ready for the day." Midoriya nods.

The class head inside and in the class they see the girl with Iida, they are having a conversation that seems to be going well. The girl walks away and they go up to Iida who smiles at his friends presence.

" Hello everyone! I can't wait to get back into the dorms with everyone this year. Have you met our new exchange student?" Iida asks.

" Not yet no, she seemed pretty cold when we saw her earlier." Uraraka shakes her head.

" She is a little aloof but I believe she is actually nice." Iida comments.

" Well we can speak to her during lunch then, that way it's a more relaxed setting." Mina smiles.

" Yah that is a great idea." Kaminari agrees.

" But for now everyone take your seats it is time for class!" Iida commands.

Everyone takes their seat while Present Mic and Mr. Aizawa walk in, they see the class is ready and begin.

" Good morning, as you all can see we have a new student with us, they are an exchange student from the United States." Mr. Aizawa starts the class.

" Yah please welcome ---- Drakos!" Present Mic introduces.

Everyone looks at ---- who is just silent and glares up at the teachers, she doesn't seem to want to speak.

" Well come up here and say a few things about yourself." Present Mic tells her.

" I would rather not...." ---- shakes her head.

" Aw come on we would love to get to know you, you are the first American we have met!" Kirishima smiles.

---- sighs and stands up, in a militaristic way she walks to the front and stays silent for a moment. Looking at Present Mic and glaring at him, she looks back at the class and takes a breath.

" I am Lieutenant Commander Drakos, I was enlisted very early into the United States Navy because of my quirks. I became the rising star of the Navy and was part of the Seals. I have a kill count that would make All for One even blush and I am here because I was forced to...." ---- simply states.

The entire class looks green around the gills when they hear all this, they look in shock at the teachers.

" She is joking right?" Kaminari nervously laughs.

" No she is quite serious, ---- is considered one of the deadliest assets the military has." Mr. Aizawa replies.

" Then why have her here?!" Mineta flips out.

" It is a matter of national security not only on the side of the United States but for us here in Japan. We have been trusted with her care and education, while she is here she will stay in the dorms with you all." Mr. Aizawa calms.

---- sits back in her seat and just stays silent, the class goes on like normal and they continue on until lunch. The class heads to lunch and they notice ---- seated already, she has her own bento and starts to eat, Uraraka, Kirishima, Midoriya and a bunch of her class come to her table and sit with her. She just peacefully eats and enjoys her food quietly.

" Hey ---- after this you wanna hang out after school in the Dorms?" Uraraka asks.

" I have a strict workout schedule I need to abide by." ---- replies.

" Cool we can work out together!" Kirishima grins.

" You wont be able to keep up, I have my Commander coming after and I will be going through the usual training I went through when I first went into boot camp." ---- tells him.

" Well we can give it a shot." Iida nods.

" Fine just don't be rude to Commander Stark." ---- sighs out.

The same kids from earlier walk by and sneer at ----, she ignores them and just continues to eat.

" Heh well if it isn't the American Trash, what were the schools not good enough for you there?" A girl teases.

---- continues to keep her cool, she just eats her hardboiled egg and ignores the noise. The girl and her friends are irritated she isn't doing anything, the girl smacks her chopsticks out of her hand. The lunch room is silent as they look at ---- just staying still.

" Back off now!" Todoroki yells at the group.

---- gets up and stands in front of the group, she just calmly looks at the group and glares at them all.

" I don't even need to use my Quirks to beat you." ---- smirks.

" You will eat those words!" The girl yells at her.

The group barrage ---- with their strong Quirks but she simply dodges each one with ease. All this and she still has her weights on her limbs, she is quick to use her head and she skull smashes each attacker. Each one falls to the ground in pain, they groan and whimper as ---- cracks her neck.

" I will eat later...." ---- comments as she puts her food away and grabs her chopsticks.

Walking out while the lunch room is in silence, they all go back to their seats and the room just eats.

" Man.... she took them out with only her head, she had her hands behind her back the entire time." Kaminari murmurs.

" Heh, idiots got what they deserved." Bakugo laughs.

" Man being with her is going to be difficult, she comes from such a structured world." Mina sighs.

" Well soon we will learn more about her through the Quirk assessments tomorrow." Todoroki comments as he eats.

" Yah she is in a new environment let's give her space." Midoriya nods.

The classes finish the day out and the class begins to leave, they don't see Brooke anywhere and head back to the dorm work out center after school. There they hear yelling of multiple people, Todoroki, Kirishima and the others walk into the weight room and see ---- pushes up two guys on her back as she is in a push up position. She is holding halfway and is covered in bruises, a man towers over her and has his arms crossed.

" Were you picking fights?!" The man yells.

" Sir no sir!" ---- replies.

" We got a call saying you were seen picking fights with multiple students!" The man yells.

" I only act in self defense sir!" ---- chokes out.

" Look at you Lieutenant! Giving up already?!" He yells more.

" Never sir!" She growls.

" Now wait just a minute!" Todoroki yells.

" Excuse me who are you?!" The man yells.

" No who are you?! You are here torturing our classmate!" Kirishima yells back.

" Stay out of this!" ---- yells.

" Men get up, Drakos get your ass up, you are doing the pool exercise." The man commands.

" Yes sir Commander Stark." ---- nods.

The men get up and walk away to the pool area, ---- struggles to get up but stumbles upright. Todoroki runs to help but she puts her hand up and stops him, she walks to the pool and her classmates follow and watch on helplessly.

" Final exercise of the day, after all this you arent using your Quirk to heal up, you will keep this pain as a lesson." Commander Stark tells her.

" Yes sir!" ---- stands at attention.

The two other men tie her hands and feet, the Commander throws a knife and a mask with snorkel.

" Get the mask on and get yourself free and you can go." Commander Stark tells ---- before he shoves her in the pool.

" Commander Stark but how can she survive that!? She is wounded!" Iida asks.

" What you don't know about Lieutenant Commander Drakos is she was a full fledged Navy Seal at the age of 10, she was crafted and molded into the ultimate killing machine. Her duel Quirks make her perfectly adapted as one of the deadliest people on this planet. Her kill count is something to behold, but she is here under classified circumstances and that is all you need to know." Commander Stark tells them.

They watch as ---- grabs the knife with her mouth and uses it to cut her wrists free, she grabs the snorkel and mask and finishes cutting the ropes off her ankles. Pain fills her body but she swims up and takes a gasp of air, ---- pulls herself up out of the pool and breathes heavy.

" You have slowed down, do better Drakos." Commander Stark warns.

" Sir.... yes sir...." ---- nods.

The men leave and her classmates rush to her side, ---- is too tired to complain to them and feels someone help her up. She sees its Todoroki and just glares at him, holding her side ---- winces.

" ---- why let them do this to you?!" Uraraka asks.

" You look like hell." Tokoyami tells her.

" It is what I know, I grew up this way.... no one here can understand that...." ---- sighs as she walks away to the unisex locker room.

Heading to the tubs she gets a bunch of ice and starts the water, her bruised body trembles in pain. Stopping the water she lowers her body into the water, she wishes she can heal her body but she is under direct orders not to as punishment.

Todoroki walks in and sees her, he wasn't aware she went in here. He walks over to her and sits next to her, ---- looks at him and just looks away. He can see she is in pain still and wants to help her.

" Can I get you something for the pain?" He asks.

" I'm fine...." ---- breathes out.

He watches her breathing pattern and sees it is off, ---- coughs and blood comes up he looks in horror and holds her up before she slips down into the water.

" Damn it you have a punctured lung, you need help." Todoroki tells her.

He pulls her from the water and holds her in his arms, she stops him and he watches as her ribcage starts to shift. After a few moments it stops and her breathing is normal.

" I fixed it.... just get me to my room...." ---- demands weakly.

Todoroki rushes to her room and opens it up, he sees medals, uniforms and pictures everywhere along with collections of places she has been. He grabs a towel nearby and wraps her in it, she is sat down on a chair and he kneels in front of her. ---- dries off and looks exhausted, she goes over to a dresser and grabs sweat pants and a tank top. Todoroki turns immediately and waits for her to be finished, ---- finds it amusing he is this embarrassed being around a girl changing. ---- finishes and shuffles to her bed, Todoroki turns and helps her in bed. She doesn't protest, she only wants to sleep, her heavy eyes look at him.

" You remind me of my eldest brother Touya.... I'm worried for you." Shoto tells her.

" I am fine...." ---- just shrugs off his concern.

The pair are silent for a while, ---- looks at Shoto standing there with a concerned look. He looks away from her and towards the wall in deep thought, ---- clears her throat.

" What was Touya like?" ---- asks him.

" He was stubborn but never gave up, I miss him so much, so does Natsuo and my sister Fuyumi took it harder. He was told by my father that his quirk was too much for his body to handle, he never listened and wanted to be a Hero so bad.... in his anguish and ceaseless training his quirk spiraled out of control...." Shoto tells her.

" I am so sorry...." ---- sympathizes.

" All that was left of him was a piece of his lower jaw, his quirk burnt him to ash, he was so kind and loving to everyone and he wanted to be the best.... I miss him." Shoto continues.

" I'm sorry for your loss, I know the feeling all too well...." ---- nods.

" Someday I'll show you his shrine, it's very beautiful.... but you need rest, we can talk more later." Shoto tells ----.

" Ok.... I'll see you later." ---- nods and passes out from exhaustion.

Todoroki looks at her for a moment, her dark brown hair and slightly tan skin are rather pretty. Todoroki pulls the covers over her shoulder and tucks her in. He leaves her room and heads down to his friends, they turn and look at him and see his soaked clothing.

" Where have you been man?" Kaminari asks him.

" Making sure ---- got to her room, she is resting now." Todoroki explains.

" Is she ok?" Aoyama asks concerned.

" She is resting peacefully currently, she most likely wont be up for a while." Todoroki nods.

The rest of the class don't pry about her and just go about the rest of their day until the Quirk assessments tomorrow.

Its the end of the next school day and both Class 1A and 1B are brought to the training center, they see a person in a Hero costume standing with Mr. Aizawa, Present Mic and Ectoplasm. The outfit is sleek and looks like something for water combat, it is dark on the back and a little lighter in the front of the costume. The boots of the person are reminiscent of Selkies boots with the fins, they have gloves on with nanotech webbing between the fingers. The faceplate completely obscures who it is, they all stand at attention and wait for the teachers to speak.

" Hello everyone, you are probably wondering what is going on here and why I asked you to wear your outfits. Well next to us is Hydra, or you may know her as ----. This is her outfit she wore on active duty and is perfectly crafted to suit hers Quirks." Mr. Aizawa explains.

" Quirks?!" Tetsutetsu asks loudly.

" Yes similar to Shoto Todoroki ---- has duel Quirks, your jobs are to figure out what they are. One is more obvious then the other, she will be fighting you all." Mr. Aizawa nods.

" You can't be serious, all 41 of us verses her?" Shinso scoffs.

" Let's get this over with...." ---- sighs.

Stepping forward ---- undoes her weight belt around her waist, she removes her wrist weights and her leg weights as well. She tosses them all to the side and they make a large crater to the side, the students look in shock.

" Woah how much weight was that?!" Kirishima asks in shock.

" 454 kilograms, I'm ready to start." ---- sighs.

" The rules are simple, you each have a zip tie set of cuffs, you need to catch her to win, while she has to capture every single one of you. Should be easy right? Once captured you cant break the cuff you are out!" Present Mic explains.

" There is no way she can win, we have 41 unique and powerful Quirks on our side." Midoriya comments.

The teachers go above the training grounds and sit up in the rafters, the students watch ---- for a moment and see how calm she is.

" LET'S GET HER!" Tetsutetsu yells out.

" Wait that's not a good idea!" Kirishima yells to class 1B.

---- puts her arms out and focuses, the pipes in the facility burst and she quickly floods the arena. She manages to make the depth a little over 10 meters, all the other students have taken to high ground and see ---- is nowhere to be found.

" Shoji, Koda, Jiro, find her!" Midoriya tells them.

" Right!" They reply.

Using their Quirks they look for her but look in shock, they can't find her and can't sense her.

" I.... I can't hear her! Her heartbeat should be as clear as day but.... there is no heartbeat!" Jiro tell the others.

In a flash ---- breaches the water and grabs Jiro, the pair disappear in the water and everyone looks in horror.

" Jiro!" Some of them yell.

Jiro resurfaces with her hands bound, Ectoplasm quickly uses a clone to retrieve her. ---- quickly does the same to Shoji and Koda and captures them as well, the students back away from the water and try to think of a plan.

" Well what now Deku?!" Bakugo yells.

" I'm not sure yet, she is taking out our scouts to make sure we cant find her with ease. She can clearly control her heartbeat and pause it so she is not detected, she can obviously control water so that is one of her Quirks, the other we were told isn't obvious which means until she activates it we may not know what it is until we see it up close. But with ---- that is dangerous, she is clearly strong physically on her own. But her Quirks paired with her physical capabilities and her elite combat prowess make her a top tier threat." Midoriya explains.

" We need to get our strongest to attack in close combat." Sato recommends.

" It could work, Tetsutetsu, Kirishima draw her out but stay close so she is forced to confront you both." Midoriya suggests.

" You got it!" They shout in unison.

The pair go to a large plateau that is above water and wait, soon ---- flies out of the water and lands on the other side where they are standing.

" I'll charge first ok?" Tetsutetsu tells his friend.

" Right I'll be right behind you." Kirishima nods.

Tetsutetsu starts the charge, he hardens his body and charges at her, ---- rushes at Tetsutetsu and collides with him. Tetsutetsu is launched into a wall and groans, his metal shell cracked and he holds his head. They look and see ----, they look in shock when they see armor surrounding her arm that punched Tetsutetsu.

" What the hell is that?!" Mineta yells.

Shoto's eyes open wide and he realizes he has seen this already in a way, he remembers when she healed herself from the broken rib and punctured lung. Her ribcage repaired itself and her lung mended.

---- sees Kirishima charge next, ---- guards as Kirishima crashes against her. Kirishima pushes against her but recoils back in pain, they look and see bloody spikes erupt from her chest. Kirishima backs up and they watch as the armor on her arm absorbs back into her body along with the spikes on her chest. Her costume then heals from the damage she inflicted on it and everything is back to normal.

" Kirishima! Tetsutetsu! Get back!" Shoto yells.

" What the hell is that Quirk?!" Tetsutetsu growls.

" Tetsutetsu are you ok?" Kendo asks.

" Yah she hits like a truck." He holds his head.

" I saw this ability up close yesterday, she repaired her broken rib and punctured lung. I didn't think anything of it first but now I know, her other Quirk let's her control her body on a God like scale." Shoto explains.

" Correct Shoto.... my second Quirk is Cell Manipulation, my body can survive the most extreme heat and cold. I can survive sub freezing temperatures naked by modifying my skin cells to be frostbite proof and I can move and create new fat cells so I can put layers under my skin in key areas. I can survive the hottest deserts by extracting the water in the same fat cells and lipids, I can survive with no water for months and even make it so I don't get sunburnt. One of my greatest tricks is what you saw just now, I can create and manipulate my bones with ease." ---- explains.

" She is the ultimate survivalist." Iida gasps.

" What do you mean create bone?!" Midoriya asks.

" The human body has 205 bones, with me that number is much more negotiable. As I was speaking I made a new weapon just now...." ---- sighs out and grabs behind her.

They watch ---- bend forward and they see bone sticking out of her neck, ---- pulls out her spine and it forms spikes. Wielding it around the new weapon straightens and then acts like a whip at whim. Using her new weapon she grabs Tetsutetsu and dives in the water with him, a moment later he is bound and a clone grabs him.

" Todoroki freeze the water and see if you can stop her movements." Kendo suggests.

Todoroki nods and using his ice abilities he freezes the entire pool ---- created, Todoroki stops and they see no movement.

" I think that got her." Mina comments.

The sound of Ice cracking is heard, quickly the arena floods again the current sweeps up everyone and ---- is quick to bind everyone. She misses Todoroki who is above all the water, ---- drains the water from the arena and everyone is ok. She sees Todoroki land and come after her, ---- is quick to counter him and uses her spine blade against him.

" Come quietly Todoroki." ---- tells him.

" And miss out on this little dance we are in? You are a worthy challenge!" He smirks.

Shoto and ---- fight in close proximity and both grab a capture zip tie and capture one wrist from the other. Shoto and ---- stop fighting and breathe heavy, looking at their wrists they look up at the teachers.

" Uh Aizawa is this a tie or?" Present Mic asks.

" They both captured eachother so this will be called a stalemate." Mr. Aizawa tells them.

All the students are released and they walk over to ---- and Shoto, they cut the binds off and ---- stretches out.

" How did you hide from us like that that was incredible." Jiro asks.

" For short periods of time I can stop my pulse and heart while I move around, it's stressful on my body so I only do it for two minutes at most. My bones are the stars of my little trick though...." ---- explains.

Holding her arms out she creates bone blades that come out of the top of her forearm. Sucking them back into her body she takes her left forearm and breaks it over her knee. Everyone looks in horror at the broken limb.

" Relax it doesn't hurt that bad, watch I instantly heal my broken bones.... deep wounds hell I can even reattach my limbs." ---- extends a bone blade out.

---- cuts her right arm off at the elbow, the others look in horror and some retch. Mineta and Aoyama pass out but ---- grabs her arm and puts it back, they watch her Quirk in action as the arm flawlessly reattaches to her body.

" That Quirk is so powerful, having a duel Quirk makes you extremely powerful." Iida comments.

" It's not without it's issues, with my background and what I have seen.... my PTSD weakens me and I fear my Quirk can harm those around me, so I limit myself.... it also causes my PTSD to get worse if I'm not careful. My duel Quirks require me to see everything in front of me, I need to know where every piece is on the board and I need to know what each is capable of. I do not tolerate failure even on my end.... failure leads to death and I will have no more of that." ---- explains.

" Wait so you can go insane?" Kirishima asks sympathetically.

" No need to make it sound like I'll go off my rocker, but yah.... war is hell and I may be the same age as you all roughly but you kids don't have the mental constitution to deal with what I have seen. The world is a putrid place full of evil, you all need to get your ass's in gear and learn how to deal with the horrors you will face out there. Because if you don't you will never hack it as Hero's." ---- coldly tells them.

" Wait but you are going to be a Hero too what makes you act like you are any different from us?" Kendo asks.

" I'm not a Hero, I'm just a person doing the things I need to do, the things I have done don't classify me as a Hero.... I'm far from it in fact. I walk in the darkness so that others may see the light.... I'm going back to the dorms." ---- sighs out.

---- heads the dorms and the others just sigh out after that ordeal. Shoto watches ---- hold her head as she leaves, her shoulders are hunched and she seems troubled.

" Can you believe her?! She acts all high and mighty then leaves like a jerk." Kamakiri scoffs.

" Shut up loser that's our classmate." Bakugo snaps at him.

" She captured your dumbass too." Kamakiri laughs.

" Everyone shut up...." Shoto sighs out and leaves as well.

Shoto leaves and eventually catches up to ---- who is silent, Shoto says nothing and just walks back with her. ---- eyes slide over to him without turning her head, she looks straight forward and just sighs at his presence.

" You are clearly different from the others...." ---- comments.

" What do you mean?" Shoto asks.

" You were able to slip from my grip while I was able to grab the others, can't tell if I'm irritated or impressed." ---- grumbles.

" Are you always this mad?" Shoto asks her.

" Are you and the others always this intrusive?" ---- groans.

" S-sorry.... I saw you leave and you looked like you were having an issue mentally or emotionally.... just wanted to make sure my friend is ok." Shoto apologizes.

---- stops and looks at Shoto for a while, her gaze seems irritated but she is simply thinking about what he said. Her brow relaxes and she takes a deep breath before cracking her neck.

" Know what a bomb body is? Had some unpleasant memories and scents flood my senses earlier.... don't know what caused them though...." ---- comments.

" No what are those?" Shoto asks.

" Good.... trust me forget I said anything Todoroki...." ---- sighs and leaves him standing there.

---- leaves and Shoto goes back to the dorms with the others, he keeps thinking about what she said and it makes him overly curious as he is sitting with the others. Shoto pulls out his phone and searches up what a Bomb Body is, the images flash on his screen and he drops his phone. The others look over and see the horror on his face as he covers his mouth and retches. Kirishima grabs his phone and reacts the same way and looks in horror.

" Dude what the hell why are you looking at this?!" Kirishima asks him.

" I wanted to know what ---- was talking about, I asked her what was wrong and she said she had haunting memories about them come back.... I asked her what she meant but she said forget it and its good I don't know." Shoto explains.

" Jesus.... it says here kids are the better targets for these procedures.... what the hell is this?! Some messed up fucks actually do this to people?!" Bakugo yells.

" It says here that Bomb Bodies or Human Bombs can either be alive or dead, they are used by terrorist groups to harm civilians.... oh my.... ---- said she had flashbacks of these?" Momo asks.

" Yah.... no wonder she has walls up around her emotions." Shoto nods.

" Well we shouldn't say anything to her we don't need to trigger any negative feelings with her." Midoriya suggests.

---- walks into the room and Mineta sees her, she goes to the kitchen and grabs a juice and a glass for herself.

" Hey ---- what's the deal with Bomb Bodies?" Mineta asks.

Everyone looks in horror not knowing she walked in quietly, her eyes go wide and she doesn't blink. The glass drops from her hand and shatters, she begins to retch and bolts after Mineta. Her eyes have the intent to kill which gets Sero to grab her, the tape begins to give way and he quickly tapes more to her. The guys grab on to the tape and hold on for dear life. Shoto goes in front of her and holds her body back, they struggle to hold her still as she continues to go after Mineta.

" Momo can you make something to stop her?!" Midoriya asks.

" Here I got this!" She nods and pulls out a rag and bottle she has made.

Putting the contents of the bottle on the cloth she puts it over ---- nose and mouth. ---- begins to stumble, she begins to grumble and get dizzy.

" I'll kill you.... just like you killed.... Abdullah...." She slurs as she passes out.

" Abdullah? Who is Abdullah?" Kaminari asks.

" Not sure, but we need to get Mr. Aizawa immediately." Midoriya shrugs.

" I'll bring her to her room." Shoto tells them.

Sero removes the tape and Shoto brings her to her room again, Momo walks into her room with a heart monitor she made. They hook it up to ---- and Momo sits on the bed next to her.

" I did this to her so I am responsible for making sure she is ok, I'll be here with her until she wakes up ok?" Momo tells him.

" Of course, message us when she is awake." Shoto nods.

Walking back to the others he helps clean up the mess and things calm down, Sero helps seeing as it was his Quirk that was used to bind her. Everyone goes into their own routine and the dorm is once again quiet.

~~~~

(Let's see who you end up with 😏)

If you have made it here I really do appreciate it, I'm not the most outgoing person so this was stressful to post. I can do requests aside from this so if interested let me know, I can do inserts/ reader inserts of characters you like. If anything I have a wild imagination lol. Also I have no clue what I'm doing on this site in terms of posting so if you have tips.... I will love you forever ❤️.

Thank you so much and I will post more

[myevilmouse]

For the deep fic writer asks:

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

Thank you 🤗

Ah thank you so much for these asks tonight!  So much fun to think about this stuff.

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

I love this question because it is an awesome thing to think about.  For me, the best thing about writing fanfic is rediscovering my love of writing in general.  English was always my favorite class in high school, and I wrote short stories and things in creative writing that I loved back then.  It was really fun.  Hobbies should be fun and positive, and if they aren’t, they aren’t really hobbies but chores.  Writing is a great outlet for me, escapist and challenging.  I love to make  things happen that didn’t happen before thanks to a story.  It’s so rewarding.  Luke/Mara sex pollen?  Sure.  Thrawn/Pryce in quarantine?  Sure.  #itdidntexistsoiwroteit is one of my favorite tags.

Apart from the stories themselves and the act of writing being enjoyable, I have made a lot of wonderful friends in this community (and others!).  One of my first online fandom friends I met for the first time at my wedding reception hahaha and the small group of my fic buddies are invariably supportive, encouraging, and sympathetic no matter if the topic is real life madness or characters refusing to obey the almighty author.  My tumblr friends are awesome, and everyone who takes a chance to read my stories are simply gifts to me as a writer.

Also I really do enjoy reading my own stories.  I am not shy or modest about this.  I LOVE MY FIC because if I didn’t why would I write it?!  That is super fun for me to revisit and reread and be proud of something that didn’t exist until I wrote it 😊

This may be a good place to mention that if writing is NEGATIVELY impacting your mood or mental health, you should step away, take a break, consider what is having that effect.  For any writers struggling to feel that joy again (due to lack of engagement or toxicity or whatever), I suggest you write a fic and don’t post it, keep it just for yourself (personally I think everyone should have at least one fic that’s “just for you”—it’s like a secret indulgence and a great reminder of why we should be writing—for ourselves!).  I mean, I play piano as a hobby.  I definitely don’t want to share my ivory tickling on youtube or whatever, that would add pressure and misery and suck the joy out.  So remember it’s all about the joy.

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

YES actually.  What an interesting thing to think about!  I had forgotten but polled some friends and remembered a few…. These are minor controversies though, nothing like fissures in the space/time continuum or anything, more like hiccups in the tumblrsphere…

Back in 2019, I wrote a Luke/Ahsoka fic (I think it was the first one for the ship on Ao3, or one of them) and I got some tumblr hate which was fun to smack down.  People outed themselves as ageist and misogynist and, well, you can read my response here. 

I had a similar reaction to my Luke/Mon Mothma fic.  Basically, I am militant that fanfic is for fun and you should write whatever the fuck you want.  I have no obligation to conform my stories to anyone’s expectations and refuse to do so.  Also Luke/Ahsoka is a GREAT SHIP you can’t change my mind haahah as is Luke/Mon, why can’t she get some Jedi loving?!

More recently, I understand there was some fandom kerfuffle around my Thrawn/Sabine story.  Again this had to do with age differences and the idea that professors/students is verboten blah blah blah. 

All I have to say to that is if you see a rated E fic tagged “hot for teacher” and you want to complain to the author that it’s about a student banging her teacher, you have issues requiring addressing that are beyond my expertise.

me @ the negativity

Thank you so much for these asks tonight @guestiguess!  I am enjoying them immensely! Hope you enjoyed the answers!

[grad604srf]

Words for Poster

Rocks are a bit of an obscure item to choose however I have used these as a canvas for many years, my first art projects were rock paintings.

Glass frog I have a small obsession with frogs, this is the latest frog item I have received, it was a gift from my mum. It currently sits on top of my PC in my view. I am in contact with it everyday and I think it's just a neat little thing, I love collecting little guys or creatures that I like to look at in my free time

Framed Family Photo Family means a lot to me, this is a photo of my cousins and I. There’s a sense of nostalgia as we aren’t often in the same room anymore.

My PC definitely means a lot to me, I spend nearly all of my free time using it, whether I be playing videogames, chatting online, watching movies, or creating digital pieces of work. It’s my way of staying connected to the online world.

Headphones I am always listening to music. I find that music helps to get rid of other distractions if I can focus on the sounds.

Camera This is the camera I use when taking photos, it used to be my mum's but then she gave it to me when I started studying at Uni so I could use it for my minor.

MTG cards This year my brother convinced me to start playing Magic the Gathering, it is definitely something that I have started to enjoy, it's also a way that I get to spend time with my brother as we have grown apart in the past few years

Moth - Sonsational Creations This was a creature that I bought at Armaggedon from Sonsational Creations. - Sonja Howard is a Queer Autistic artist from Australia. I chose this creature from all her work as the colours matched the Asexual Flag which is part of my queer identity.

This is a clock that my parents bought me when they were in New York, this is because when I was a kid I used to be obsessed with cats(this obsession has since been replaced with frogs). But I think it looks so cool and retro, and it sits above my monitor at my desk so I look at it everyday.

I collect a lot of brass with my Nanan, it is something that we bond over, and the collection is in the hundreds. There is a large range of items from small animals, to random items like coat hangers and bells

This is more of a motif or a symbol rather than a physical object, but this is in relation to my Nanan as well as my culture. I am part Cook Island and so I have always seen hibiscus around the house, whether it be the hibiscus plant or the motif in paintings and art

This was something that I made in design class in year 9, but because of my love for animals I felt that it would work as one of my 20 items, I designed the shape and made a casting out of MDF and burnt pewter to make the shape, I also sanded and polished it. It's something small and cute and It's really cool that I can say that I made it myself.

This toy actually means a lot to me because I purchased it on a family trip to Singapore, I had been looking for a kermit the frog toy for months and I had found it randomly walking into a store in Haji Lane.

My dad is a pilot, but also planes mean a lot because they symbolize travel, and that was a big thing for my family, we used to go traveling a lot so I thought this would be a good item to include in the poster.

Graphic Design Books These are some books that I’ve collected over the past two years when studying communication design, I refer to them when doing work but I also sometimes read them because I find the topics quite interesting

Microphone This means a lot to me because it is how I communicate with my online friends who have been a huge presence in my life, even if some of them live halfway across the world they still mean a lot to me.

Starry Night is my favourite painting, and one of my hobbies is to build Lego, I felt it was only right to include this as it merges my creative side with my one of my hobbies

Drawing Tablet, This is the tool I used to actually create this poster, I’ve had this tablet for a few years and I find it very helpful in my designs

[crossdreamers]

Lesbian activist unmasks the bigotry of transphobic TERFs in must-read rant

In Norway lesbian LGBT+ activist Brita Møystad Engseth has published a clear challenge to lesbian TERFs.

Norway does not see the same amount of “gender critical” anti-trans activism as  Britain, I am glad to say. But there are a some who are given ample space in mainstream media. 

Recently one of the country’s leading lesbian feminists and LGBT+ activists, Brita Møystad Engseth (photo from LGBT-magazine Blikk above),  had had enough of the activism of the lesbian trans-exclusionary radical feminist Tonje Gjevjon and her associates.  Engseth published a fierce attack in the national newspaper Dagbladet. 

Her observations are also relevant for the debate in other countries, which is why I will provide you with some highlights here.

Note that Gjejjon is known for her hateful attacks against Norwegian trans women, using misgendering and accusations about sexual deviance and potential violence as standard tools of oppression.

Lesbian privilege

The debate about gender and trans is far too important to be left to “boogeywomen” (literally “dark women”), Engseth writes, before going into the privileged position of lesbians like herself and Tone Gjevjon:

“Both Gjevjon and I belong to the generation of lesbians who were allowed to be ourselves without risking lives and limbs. We can thank the uncompromising gay heroes who went before us for this.

...for us it was never - never - anything other than a matter of course that we could occupy any public space and take part in any public debate like the ones we truly are.”

Engseth adds, though, that even if they were given room to be themselves when younger, many would experience loneliness, separation and the longing to find someone like themselves. This is why she finds it so hard to understand why Gjevjon and her fellow “radical lesbians” cannot empathize with others who experience something similar.

Pulling up the ladder

Engseth find it incomprehensible that members of a sexual minority will pull up the ladder and exclude people who will not or cannot follow the binary sex norm.

It is as if all the previous battles for freedom and justice have never happened, Engseth observes.

Gjevjon also claims to be an expert in many fields, Engseth says:

“...fields that actually requires more than posting selected links, statistics and reports fetched from the dark deep of American internet communities, only with the purpose of strengthening the TERF movement’s painfully ignorant universe.”

This is the photo of Gjevjon the newspaper Dagbladet used to illustrate Engseth’s article. It reminds us that most TERFs are white, privileged, middle and upper class women. (Photo: Hampus Lundgren).

Engseth finds it inconceivable that Gjevjon does not understand that she, through her attitudes and use of language  (”which in no ways are censored, rejected or canceled”) actually harms other people, and not just in the figurative sense, but in the true sense of the word: “Injuries, wounds and destroys,” as Engseth puts it.

Queer people have to get up of their comfy sofas

Engseth points out that many sensible queer persons are reluctant to take part in this debate, because they are immediately accused of bullying and censorship. 

“To Gjevjon and other anti-trans-activists I will just say: Really? Was someone mean to you online because you promote ideas which no one has seen since the boogeymen (”dark men”) of the Church had their heyday in the nineties? Did you present ideas that made someone think you are narrow-minded and mean? “Not even the world’s smallest violin would bother to play for those who seeks the holy martyrdom of of cancel victims on such a weak basis. And to all of us, the party gay and party lesbians who surfed into the new millennium without a scratch: We have to turn off RuPaul’s drag race, get out of our comfortable couches and get a grip.”

Norwegian version of Engseth’s article. Google translation of article.

[rukia-writes]

Sugar daddy! Askeladd x college student! (Fem) Reader

Plot: Being Askeladd’s sugar baby is a hassle but an adventure. But at the end of the day Askeladd always treats his sugar baby like a princess.

Setting: modern au

Warnings: no minors 🔞, smut, rough sex, , daddy kink, two sex scenes, dirty (filth) talk, breeding kink (slightly), language, sugar daddy x sugar baby relationship, jealous sex (Slightly protective Askeladd)

Nervous.

The sweet college student was nervously in a home that she had been staying in for a little over year now. The home was quite beautiful and was in the upscale area of the city.

However, that wasn’t why she was nervous.

“You failed one of your exams.”

“Yes-but I still passed the class.”

Grimacing at the word “fail” (Name) tried to make the situation better as her sugar daddy looked at a piece of paper that her grades on it, his blue eyes looked up from the paper to his sweet sugar baby that had won him over. Askeladd had to admit she was beautiful and she was smart, and it was just one exam.

“Do better next time.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

Askeladd heard the sigh of relief leave her as she promised to do better in her classes, no doubt the sigh of relief was because she thought Askeladd would cut off all finances as it was his policy.

“You sound relieved.”

“I am, I thought for sure you would discipline me.”

“No need, it’s not that serious.”

Askeladd gave the paper back as he walked in the kitchen with (Name) following close behind followed by her clearing her throat. Looking behind him he saw her smiling at him while batting her eyelashes with a smile.

“What’s with that look?”

“Well, I don’t want to be a bother but…you haven’t given me monthly allowance yet.”

The sweetness of her voice made Askeladd smirk as he thought it was cute how she asked for her monthly allowance. Even though she should have been used to it by now, still Askeladd scratched his chin and tilted his head back. This only caused (Name) to worry.

“Didn’t I just give you..what was it. That Italian car..”

“..Your Lamborghini? That doesn’t count-that was a gift. Remember? You said “This is my gift to you.”…before you..you know.”

(Name) then became bashful as she looked down at the ground at the thought of what happened afterwards, Askeladd smirked in a teasing manner as he played as though he forgot.

“I seemed to have forgot. Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“It’s not important. My allowance please.”

“Allowance? Never heard of it. What’s that?”

Askeladd continue to act as though he had no idea what (Name) was talking about as he poured himself something to drink. Pouting (Name) knew this would happen as Askeladd did this every time she asked for her allowance.

“Come on, you know what I’m talking about. I need it for the bills.”

“I have them too (Name). And I believe a certain college student has been getting rather spoiled with all the trips lately.”

“You told me to do that!”

Askeladd heard (Name) shout at him shocked he said such a lie, chuckling the handsome sugar daddy downed the beer he took out refrigerator as explained how important it was. Still Askeladd continued to play as he walked to his room now with (Name) following close behind until she sat on his bed and smiled.

“Fine then, I’ll just find another daddy to spoil me.”

“No one can spoil you like I can baby and that’s a fact.”

(Name) was taken back by Askeladd’s words as he was quick and blunt, it kindly turned her on and Askeladd knew this as he was close finishing his beer and gave a slight chuckle.

“You want your money huh? I’ll do it now, that’ll satisfy you.”

Watching (Name) saw Askeladd take out his phone and tap the screen a few times before her cellphone vibrated in her pocket as she then looked at the screen and saw Askeladd had made the deposit and had actually gave her a bit more than usual.

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to give me so much.”

“Oh, but I did. For the amazing time you gave me in my office last week.”

Askeladd chuckled as he remembered how amazing his sugar baby sucked his cock while in his office, it was against work policy but Askeladd couldn’t help it. (Name) was so bashful as she motioned for Askeladd to come her with her index finger. Not one for denying his sugar baby Askeladd obliged and before long he was in between his sugar baby’s legs.

In truth, (Name) was more than just Askeladd’s sugar baby she was practically a princess, his princess.

It wasn’t long before Askeladd had her legs on his shoulders with him ontop of her fucking her with his cock buried balls deep inside her while his sugar baby was simply enjoying the feel of Askeladd’s cock.

Askeladd watched (Name)’s breasts move up and down that matched his thrusts as he fucked her how she wanted. Askeladd was enjoying himself as he would tell her “Good girl. Good fucking girl.” While repeatedly lightly patting her cheek, moaning a “fuck” when he felt her needy cunt squeeze around his cock that was already leaking cum inside her.

(Name) was in a world of her own as her mind was blank as the only thing she cared about was Askeladd’s cock, her toes curling was something she didn’t know she doing until much later. Soon enough, (Name) was thanking Askeladd saying “Thank you, for the cock.” Askeladd felt his ego rise as he continued to mercilessly fuck his sugar baby on his bed, muttering a response of simply “Anytime.”

Before long, Askeladd heard his sugar baby mutter a “right there, daddy” a button that she knew if Askeladd heard she wouldn’t hear the end of it and after a year of denying her kink she finally said it. Smirking Askeladd stopped his thrusts completely as he watched and heard (Name) practically beg him to keep going but refused as he kept his cock still.

“Say it agin.”

“Again?”

“Oh? I thought you wanted my cock? Don’t want it anymore?”

Askeladd teased again as his right hand went to her throat, he didn’t press he just placed his hand there.

“I do-I ..I fuck me daddy.”

(Name) was emberassed but the lust had completely set in and she just wanted to be fucked again. Askeladd wasn’t pleased and he wanted to hear her say it more and he was going to as he continued the pace it once was. Like before, (Name) was in Askeladd’s hands once more and he was able to make her call him daddy. Everytime she would say his name instead of “daddy” he threatened to slow his pace down, thinking to himself he would teach her what he wanted hear to say while she took his cock.

The thought sent Askeladd into a blind lust that he moaned a dragged out “I’ll fill you up with my cum.” And “I’ll cum into your sweet pussy until I can’t anymore, princess.” Askeladd wasn’t loud but he wasn’t quiet either as he heard (Name) whimper and almost cry “Yes daddy” whenever he spoke.

Askeladd’s hands were now on her waist and he tilted his head back as his thrusts became erratic and wild as though it didn’t matter how many times he thrusted inside of her it wasn’t enough.

“Askel-daddy I’m going to cum if you keep this up!”

“That’s what I want, princess.”

Askeladd replied back as he was just using (Name)’s body for his own pleasure now as he never felt so good in any woman. A college student who needed his help was what Askeladd had fallen for even though that wasn’t part of the deal. Nonetheless, Both reached their orgasm in a rush as the pleasure ran thru their veins as (Name) felt Askeladd’s cock twitch with excitement as his cum filled her cunt so much she wasn’t for sure when her sugar daddy would stop.

“So good.”

Both stated at the same time as they tried to catch their breath.

A few days later, (Name) was at the bank with her mother doing her monthly bills as she talked to everyone at the bank. More like, everyone talked to her as she was friendly with everyone and everyone loves to see her. (Name) was currently at the receptionist desk writing a expensive check for her mother since she didn’t believe doing online banking.

The receptionist was just going to take the check but was stopped by a familiar CEO, who saw (Name) and her mother come in. It was a man by the name of Roald who had just recently become friends with (Name) telling the sweet receptionist that he would deposit the check instead, which was fine with her as she wanted to take a break.

It was also a good thing he did arrive because the check was to above what she could deposit and needed a boss anyway.

“Why are you depositing all this money?”

“It’s my mother’s birthday today and I wanted to do something nice.”

Roald looked at (Name) then back to the check then back to her before finally going ahead and depositing the check by running it thru a small machine. In the mean time the two talked and joked with each other. Roald did flirt with her, (Name) was sweet and good looking girl but she never lead him on or would reject him if he asked for a date.

He was a bit persistent.

“(Name), sweetie. I wanted you to meet my friend.”

(Name) heard her mother call for her and tap her on the shoulder turning around (Name) wasn’t expecting to see Askeladd and a beautiful woman beside him. (Name) felt her blood run cold as her sugar daddy was right in front of her.

“This is my friend, Lydia and her son Askeladd. I just met the young man today.”

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Lydia and this is my son Askeladd.”

The woman stuck out her hand for (Name) to shake and she did with a smile even though she was nervous. Askeladd on the other hand, found this all amusing. Who would have thought their mothers had known each other for 4 years now, that was what Askeladd had found out.

“Since it’s your birthday today why don’t we all go out for lunch. My treat.”

Lydia offered with a sweet smile as (Name)’s mother took her up on her offer making (Name) nervous as she looked at Askeladd who was still calm about everything as a matter of fact the man offered to pay for dinner instead of Lydia which both women enjoyed even more and before they left nearly the whole bank waved (Name)’s mother goodbye.

When the two arrived at a high end restaurant (Name)’s mother was so relieved to get out the car as she had never been in a sports car, much less a luxury sports car that was just too fast for her. Lydia checked on her by rubbing her back, a little chuckle left (Name) as she did drive a bit fast. But her smirk disappeared once she heard Lydia’s voice.

“That car looks like my son’s old car.”

(Name) almost froze as she saw Lydia look at her car, however Askeladd mentioned that (Name) must have great taste when she got the car and Lydia agreed. The whole thing made (Name) nervous as she was having breakfast not only with her sugar daddy but his mother and hers as well, this wasn’t what (Name) was expecting when she woke up this morning.

As the two mothers talked and had their tea while sitting beside each other, Askeladd was sitting beside her at the table. From what (Name) could tell Askeladd seemed to be calm but when the two women were too enamored in their conversation he placed his hand on her thigh getting her attention.

“Did you have fun at the bank this morning?”

“I wouldn’t say fun.”

“Really? You seemed happy with that one fellow.”

Fellow.

(Name) knew from the tone of Askeladd’s voice that he wasn’t too thrilled about seeing her talking with a handsome man, much less one with just as much influence as he had.

“You’re not jealous are you? He’s just a friend at the bank.”

“Not at all, I was just curious. What’s his name?”

(Name) could tell Askeladd wasn’t Roald’s biggest fan as she could tell from the way Askeladd was acting. Smiling at the handsome blonde man she happily gave him answer.

“The handsome guy who works at the bank.”

Askeladd chuckled and didn’t inquire about Roald anymore that would come much later.

No.

Askeladd was a cunning man and knew when to strike at the right time.

Morning was always ideal.

Right in his kitchen, of course.

The wealthy business man had his sugar baby over the kitchen counter with his cock deep inside her cunt, repeatedly hitting her g-spot as his hands massaged her breasts making her moan a loud. Whispering in her ear “Tell me who he is.” Or “You can tell me baby girl.”

Even though she would whimper back “he’s just a friend.” Over and over again her sugar daddy wasn’t happy with her answer and that was fine. The man knew his sugar baby wouldn’t leave him any time soon for anyone, he treated her too good as he would later on that day spoil her with more money and maybe another round of sex.

But as of right now he would enjoy his sugar baby’s cunt and afterwards he would visit the bank.

✨Rukia-Writes✨

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.

[skyeet-the-writer]

Can you write a corpse x reader when she finds out she's pregnant and she's playing among us and she imposter with corpse and she kill someone and someone sees and reports it right away she get all nauseous and let's it slip to everyone while she go to throw up and corpse doesn't know what to do but he's excited to be a dad. You can change it up and add thing if you want, I was writing everything down, sorry if this is weird.

And If You Wanna Stay … Please Stay

yes finally a pregnant request! also, i’m gonna be waiting to get the triggered pro-life people in my asks and DMs about how ‘iT’s A LiViNg BeInG”. like what’s the baby gonna do? tell it’s mom??

corpse x female!reader 

summary: when the reader gets morning sickness during an Among Us game, Corpse and her expect the worst. And they get it. 

word count: ~4.8k 

warnings: swearing, vomiting, mentions of abortions, mentions of being pregnant, a little bit of suggestive content near the end but nothing happens

He’s finally asleep, you think to yourself as you watch your boyfriend’s chest rise and fall. He needed it.

Recently, Corpse has had trouble sleeping for more than three hours. You two had tried everything you could think of. You had tried staying up late to get him tired, you tried subliminals and music to get him to sleep. You even tried to give him a massage one time, but that led to other things.

You look over at the drawn curtains and pull them back a little. There, on the window, you have tin foil covering them. It’s a trick you learned from your dad when you were younger. When he worked night shifts, he had to sleep during the day, and he had trouble sleeping since your parent’s room had thin curtains. And so your father taped tin foil to all of the windows in their room so that he could sleep.

You’re not exactly sure why this seemed to work for Corpse, but you’re certainly not complaining. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping. He doesn’t look stressed, he doesn’t look sad. He looks so calm.

You lean forward and peck his nose. His breathing stutters and his nose wrinkles. You giggle and slowly, he opens his eyes. He blinks a few times and his brown eyes look around the room before settling on your face. He grins and your smile widens.

“That’s a pretty face to wake up to,” he mumbles and his morning voice makes you blush. “Oh my god, you’re already blushing.”

You blush even harder and bury your face in his neck. He laughs and hugs you around your waist. “Don’t make fun of me, asshole.”

He kisses your hair. “Morning, baby.”

“Good morning,” you mumble into his skin. You pull away so that you’re only a few inches apart. He leans forward and nuzzles your nose against his. Instead of kissing in the morning--you can’t handle his morning breath--you nuzzle your noses together.

“How’d you sleep?” you ask after you two pull away.

He smiles. “Really good, actually.” He chuckles and looks up at the window. “I guess the foil worked.”

You laugh and sit up. You’ve been awake for a little while and your stomach growls. “You hungry, babe?”

He nods and sits up as well, running a hand through his hair and shaking it out. “Can we have pancakes?”

“You can eat those, right?” you ask. You stand up out of bed and walk to the kitchen, your boyfriend trailing behind you.

“Yeah,” you hear him say. “Even if I couldn’t, I’d still want to eat them because you make really good pancakes.”

You smile. “Really? Thanks, babe.” 

You get out the ingredients to make the pancakes when Corpse announces that he’s going to take a shower. You give him a kiss on his cheek and notice it’s a little scratchy. You grab his chin suddenly and he blinks at you as you run a thumb against his cheekbone. 

“Want me to shave?” he asks softly.

You shrug. “If you want.”

He grabs your hand and presses his lips against your finger. He gives you a sweet little smile. “I’ll shave.” He squeezes your hand before walking back to your room.

After mixing all of the ingredients, you drop a few droplets onto the buttered up griddle. When it sizzles, you pour two medium-sized pancakes before going to search for the spatula. 

When you find it in the dishwasher, you flip both of the pancakes and grin. They’re both perfect. You notice it’s quiet in the kitchen and call out, “Alexa.” You hear her go off in the living room. “Play some fall lofi.”

“Playing ‘Midnight Lofi - Fall Vibes’.

”You smile when it starts to come from the living room. It’s a little quiet, so you say, “Turn it up.”

The music starts to play a little louder and you smile more. It’s so aesthetically pleasing, lofi music. It’s probably one of your favorite music genres. Before you moved in with Corpse, you had to listen to something and you eventually began to fall asleep to lofi. But now that you’ve been living with him for almost a year, you don’t listen to it as much. Usually when you’re cleaning the house or playing music when you study for school. 

You cook a few more pancakes and when you’re putting them on a plate, you have an idea. Corpse can’t eat chocolate because of his health, but you can. And you usually have a secret stash of chocolate in the back of the pantry. You’ve been craving chocolate a lot for the past week which is weird because your monthly hasn’t started yet even though it should have a few days ago. But you don’t dwell on that thought and pull up a chair from the small island and stand on top of it to reach the very back of the pantry. Your fingers skim the edge of the chocolate chip bag and you grab it between your middle and index finger. You grin at it and go to hop off of the chair when suddenly--

“What are you doing?”

You yell and you almost slip off the chair. Luckily, you land on your feet and wobble. You look up at your boyfriend when you regain your balance. He’s smirking and looking between you and the bag in your hand. 

“Chocolate,” you tell him, making your way back to the griddle like nothing happened. “You know, just because you can’t eat it doesn’t mean I have to suffer with you.”

He laughs and leans on the counter next to you. “I know you have a stash, y/n.”

You look at him with wide eyes, stopping in your tracks. “You do?”

He nods. “Yep. I knew since the first month you moved in. You’re bad at hiding it, you know.”

You blink at him before shrugging, walking over to the griddle. “Well, you’re not allowed to have any.” You stick your tongue out at him and sprinkle the mini chocolate chips into the remaining batter. There are enough pancakes for Corpse, so you’ll just cook up the rest for yourself.

Usually, you and Corpse don’t wake up until after breakfast time since you have a habit of sleeping in. But when you can wake up early enough for breakfast, you both like to sit out at the small balcony and eat together.

“What are we doing today?” you ask Corpse, sitting across from him at the small metal table.

There’s a breeze and it ruffles his hair. “I was gonna stream Among Us later. You can play, too. My fans love you.” He smiles and looks down at his plate.

“As they should.” You flip your hair and the two of you laugh. “Yeah, I can play for a little while. I’ve got classes to do and a paper due tomorrow, though.” While Corpse is a Youtuber and a streamer, you’re a college student taking classes at San Diego State University, trying to get your major in anthropology and a minor in Spanish and engineering. “God, I have a test at the end of the week, babe. I’m gonna fail it,” you mutter, putting your face in your hands. 

“What’s it in?”

“Spanish,” you tell him, pushing a blueberry with your fork. 

He gives you a stare. “Babe, I’m literally half Mexican.” He laughs.

You throw the blueberry at his head and it bounces off onto the floor. “Shut up, stop making fun of me!”

He grins. “I can tell you the answers as you take the test. It’s online, right?”

You nod. “Yeah, I chose all online classes this year. I mean, you could. But that’s cheating.” You flip a piece of your pancake over. “And I don’t wanna cheat. I cheated all the way through high school. I want college to be different.”

Corpse grabs your hand and you look up at him. He’s smiling at you. “You’re smart, baby. You’re gonna do fine. You’re gonna get your degrees and you’re gonna be the best... what are you studying again?”

“Anthropology,” you tell him quietly.

“You’re gonna be the best anthropologist ever.”

You crack a small smile. “Do you even know what an anthropologist is?”

“No.”

You laugh and that gets him to smile. You lean across the table and press a gentle kiss to his lips. It’s a little sticky and sweet because of the syrup, but you’re not complaining.

Later that morning, after taking a shower while Corpse cleans breakfast up, Corpse says that he’s going to stream and you come and join him. There’s a monitor across from his that you use from time to time and a headset as well.

Your boyfriend sends you the code for the Discord and the Among Us game. Corpse looks at you from across the desks and you smile. He grins back and your stomach churns. You blink and wince at the feeling. You’ve been feeling nauseated for a few days now and you don’t want to get sick during a stream.

“Hi Corpse,” someone says as you load into the waiting room. You look back at the screen as someone gasps. “y/n! Best friend!”

It’s Sean and you laugh. “Hi, Sean.”

“y/n!” exclaims someone else and you realize that it’s Lily.

“I thought I was your best friend, Jack!” says Sykkuno and he sounds hurt.

You smile and move your character to the customization. You choose yellow and choose the leaf hat. Since your gamer tag is “lemon” you always try and be a lemon.

“Aw, y/n’s a lemon,” says Dave.

You laugh and run circles around him. “Hi, Dave.”

You hear him laugh and Corpse chuckles in front of you. You look at him and be flashes you a smile.

The round starts and the red “IMPOSTER” text lights up your screen. You’re paired up with Felix. You haven’t been the imposter with Felix too often, so you don’t know what to expect. You mute your headset and head down to storage to fake wires before going to fake another task.

 You’re standing in the electrical room pretending to download data when Sykkuno walks in. You pull up the sabotage map and close the door before killing him and venting. You come out in the medbay and head over to the cafeteria.

 When a body is reported, it’s Lily’s. You unmute yourself and bite your thumbnail as your stomach churns even more. You’re starting to get worried that you’re going to get sick.

 “I found Lily in admin,” says Sean. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”

“Sykkuno is dead, too,” Julien points out.

 “Oh shit,” you mutter and hold a hand over your mouth. You try to keep the bile from rising while everyone talks and you don’t bother to listen. You do hear someone say that they’re going to skip voting and you do the same.

When no one is ejected, you mute your mic once again and go to follow Corpse down to the shields. You stand beside him while he does his task. Sorry, babe, you think and kill him just as your kill cooldown reaches zero.

 You smirk and run away in the opposite direction and you can feel him staring at you. You glance up at him and your smile widens. “What?”

He just shakes his head and you laugh.

You meet up with Dave and follow him around and fake wires with him. At one point, you and he cross paths with Felix and Toast. You may not know Felix too well, but any good imposter knows to go for a double kill. So as you run by each other in the cafeteria, you close the door and both you and Felix kill who you were with before venting away. 

By the time you’re out of the vent and running away from admin, Dave’s body is reported. Your stomach feels awful now and you’re almost certain you’re going to throw up in the next thirty seconds.

 “Fuck.” You unmute your mic. “It was me, I killed Dave. I’m the imposter. I’ll be right back.” You practically throw your headset off and run for the bathroom.

 ~

Corpse watches you practically run out of the room. For a second, he’s not sure what to do. Should he go after you? But he’s in the middle of streaming.

“y/n?” Sean asks. “Corpse, where’d she go?”

“Is she okay?” Julien wonders.

He nods even though no one can see him. “Y—yeah. I’m gonna go check on her. I’ll be right back.” He mutes his mic and takes his headphones off before leaving the room to go check on you.

He finds you on the tiled bathroom floor vomiting into the toilet. He curses and kneels behind you, pulling your hair back.

When you finish, he says, “This is the third time this week you’ve gotten sick, baby.”

You groan and lean your head on your arm. “I know. I don’t know why. Well, I—“ You cut yourself off and go still as if you suddenly had a realization.

Corpse tilts his head. “What is it?”

It takes you a few long moments to respond. “…My period is late. And I’m getting morning sickness. Plus I’ve been moody.” You turn back to look at him and he can tell you’re about to cry. “Corpse.”

You don’t need to say anything else. He’s already standing up, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach and his shaking hands. “I’ll go get you some tests.”

You grab his hand. “Corpse, no! I’ll go.”

He shakes his head and gets on his knees in front of you. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me.”

Your lip quivers. “You don’t have to do this. I know how much you don’t like going outside. Really, it’s not a big deal, I can go get some.”

But then he kisses your forehead. “y/n, it’s okay. You need to rest. I won’t be out for very long.” He stands up after squeezing your hands. “I’ll be back in, like, twenty minutes.”

Before you can do anything to stop him, he turns around and goes to grab his mask and his wallet before grabbing your car keys. He doesn’t like to drive, but you’re worried and driving is quicker. And right now you’re the most important thing for him to be thinking about.

~

When Corpse leaves, you sigh and stay sitting on the floor for a few more minutes while your stomach settles itself. Afterward, you get up and brush your teeth after flushing the toilet. Deciding to get some school work done, you grab your laptop and head to the living room.

When you pass by his recording room, however, you see his monitor still on. You curse and head inside. He’s still streaming. You sit down and put his headset on and unmute his mic. “Hey, guys.”

You glance at the exploding chat as Sean asks, “y/n? Where’s Corpse? Are you okay?”

I’m probably pregnant. “Uh, I’m kind of sick, so Corpse went out to get me some, uh, stuff. Sorry, but we gotta go. Uh, it was fun streaming.”

“Okay,” says Sykkuno. “I hope you feel better, y/n.”

“Thanks,” you mumble. “Bye, guys.” You leave the chat and close the game before looking at Corpse’s stream chat. “Sorry about this, guys. I had fun streaming, though, I’m sure Corse did too. Have a good day.” You smile even though they can’t see you before ending the stream. You go over to your monitor and leave the game and chat in your own game. You lean back in your chair and press your hands in your eyelids.

You want to cry. You want to scream. You can’t be pregnant. You’re still a kid, you haven’t completed college yet. You and Corpse aren’t even married.

You suck in a shaky breath and wipe your damp eyes. “I’m probably not pregnant,” you whisper and stand up to go into the living room. “I probably just ate something bad. Yeah, that’s it.”

You sit in the living room on the couch with a blanket around your shoulders, trying to focus on your schoolwork. But you can’t. Your mind is too overwhelmed with the possibilities. You hope Corpse is okay. You know how much he hates going outside and being around other people.

You turn back to look at the lecture your professor posted and sigh. You just need to relax and calm down. Just wait until Corpse gets back and focus on schoolwork until then. 

It takes a while, but he does come back. Some small voice in your head thought that he wasn’t going to come back, but you quickly pushed it away. Corpse loves you and he’d never leave you. 

The front door opens and you look up from the paper you’re in the middle of typing. You meet him in the hallway where he’s taking his mask off, a plastic bag in his hand. He meets your eyes and cups your face in one hand. 

“Are you okay?” he asks softly. 

Your chin wobbles and you shake your head. Tears form in the edges of your eyes and you suck in a deep breath. “Did you get some tests?”

 He nods hand hands the bag to you. But before you can take them, he grabs your wrist. “Hey. I’m not leaving, y/n.”

You nod before taking the bag from him and quickly walking to the bathroom. You’re scared to say anything because you know that if you do, you’ll start to cry.

 Ten minutes later, you’re sitting on the bathroom floor with Corpse, leaning into his side as he rubs your shoulder. There are three tests on the counter and your boyfriend has a timer running on his phone for five minutes. So far, three minutes have passed. To you, they’ve felt like a lifetime.

 “Are you okay?” Corpse asks quietly, finally breaking the silence.

 You shrug, not entirely sure how you feel. “I don’t know. I’m scared.” You glance down at your stomach and place a hand on your naval. “If I am pregnant, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m young.” You look at him. “We’re young. I’m still in college. I can’t afford to have a kid!”

“I know.” He draws you closer to your shoulder. “But whatever you decide to do, I’m going to support you. And I’m not going to leave you, either. In case you were worried about that.”

Even though you shouldn’t have been, you were.

Luckily, Corpse changes the subject, going on to say, “I’ve been working on another song.”

 “Really?” 

He nods. “Yeah. It’s kind of a lofi type song. I can show you the lyrics, later, if you want.”

 You smile a little and look up at him, staring into his shining, dark eyes. “I’d like that.”

He smiles back and leans down to give you a small kiss. When you pull away, his phone rings, signaling that the timer is done. He turns his phone off and you stand up, walking towards the counter where the tests are. You pick one up. 

One line.

 You let out a breath of relief and turn to Corpse where he’s leaning on the sink. “Negative.”

He smiles a little. “What about the other two?”

 You look back down at the other two tests. You pick one up and your heart drops. Two lines. You swallow and gently place it down as your hands begin to shake. Maybe that one is a false positive. There’s still another one. Whatever this one says will probably determine if you’re pregnant or not.

 And so you pick it up. And you smack a hand over your mouth when you see two lines. You’re pregnant. You’re pregnant. The test falls from your hands and you fall to your knees, tears streaming down your face.

 “Baby, what did it say?” Corpse asks, coming to your side and trying to coax your face into his hand. “Babe?”

“I don’t want a baby!” you exclaim through your tears. “I can’t handle that. I’m too young, I’m not ready. We’re not ready.” You lean into his arms as he pulls you towards him. “Corpse, I don’t want it.”

He nods and you feel him run his fingers through your hair. “It’s your decision, babe. It’s your choice. And I’m gonna support you either way if you want to keep it or not. If you do decide to keep it, then we’ll figure something out. If not, I’ll drive you there and get you In-N-Out or something.”

That gets you to laugh as you tighten your arms around him. “You’ll really buy me food?”

“Yes. I’d do anything for you.”

Your stomach churns that night as you’re scheduling an appointment to get rid of the clump of cells in your body. You’re nervous and Corpse was sweet enough to order you whatever you want for dinner. 

You get off the phone as Corpse grabs the food from the delivery person and walks into the kitchen. He looks at you as he places the bags down on the counter. “So?”

You swallow and lean on the counter. “My appointment is in a couple of days.”

He nods and approaches you, placing his hands on your hips and drawing you to his chest. “It’s going to be okay, love.”

You lean your head on his chest. “Am I a bad person?”

“Of course not. It’s your body. You can do whatever you want with it. And besides, it’s not like it’s living anyway.”

You giggle as you try not to cry again. “What’s the baby gonna do? Remember it?”

Corpse laughs his deep and rumbly laugh and you grin. “True. But I seriously will buy you In-N-Out if you want. Or McDonald’s.”

You laugh again and tighten your arms around him. “Okay. And, Corpse?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for being so supportive of wanting to get rid of it.”

He kisses your head. “Don’t thank me.”

When you and Corpse are laying in bed after watching a true-crime documentary, he’s gently dragging his nails up and down your back as you’re nestled into his chest. The tinfoil is still on the windows and it makes the room even darker. Which is actually the entire point.

 Something had been rattling around in your head for the past few hours and you hadn’t gotten the courage to ask Corpse. But here, in the darkness of the bedroom the two of you share, you often ask each other stupid questions late at night when neither of you can fall asleep.

 And it feels like it’s going to be another one of those nights because you’re wide-awake and you know Corpse is as well. And so you ask, “Do you ever want to have kids together?”

His hand abruptly stops dragging his nails on your back. “What?”

 You regret asking him, but there’s no going back now. “When we’re older, would you ever want to have a family together?”

His hand begins to slowly go up and down your back once more. “Maybe. If you want to. If you want to have kids one day when we’re older, then I’ll definitely have kids with you.”

This makes you smile and you tighten your arms around his middle. “I love you, Corpse.”

“I love you, too.” He kisses your head. “Before we have kids, we should get married first.”

You grumble and say, “We’ll see who proposes first, then.”

He laughs and wraps his arms around your waist. “It’ll probably be you, baby. I’m too anxious.”

“Excuses, excuses,” you huff but the two of you laugh. “I’m too broke to afford a ring, though. You might have to settle with a Ring Pop.”

“If you propose to me with an onion ring and I would say yes.”

You giggle as something else comes to mind. “What about those cheap, plastic spider rings? Or the ones that come on cupcakes.”

Corpse laughs again and begins to scratch your back again. “If you do that, we would get married on the spot,” he says in that deep and gravely voice of his.

 You grin. “I’m keeping that in mind.”

Corpse hums into your shoulder. “You’re not going to fall asleep anytime soon, are you?”

 You shake your head. “No. Are you?”

“Nope.”

“What do you want to do?” you ask him, pulling away from him to look at his face through the darkness.

 Even though you can’t see him too much, you know he’s smirking. “Well, there’s already a fetus in you. Want to see if we can get another one?” 

You laugh and push his chest. “You’re disgusting, Corpse!”

He laughs and grabs your hands and lifts your arms up so he can roll on top of you. “Maybe. But it got you to laugh.”

You blush and turn your head to the side as he sits on top of you, holding your hands above your head. He starts to kiss down your neck and you sigh. “Corpse.”

He hums against your skin.

 You bite your lip. “I’m not really in the mood, babe.”

Immediately, he stops what he was doing and lifts his head. “Okay. That’s fine, babe. It’s been a long day. Can we still cuddle, though?”

You nod and smile. “Of course. You can be the little spoon.”

“Yay!” he exclaims and climbs on top of you and rolls on his side. You get yourself situated behind him and throw one arm over his stomach and use the other one to play with his incredibly curly hair. Your legs get tangled together like they always do and you bury your fingers in his hair while he lets out a deep breath through his nose. 

“Happy?” you ask him quietly and he nods. You squeeze his stomach with the arm you have there and kiss his head. “Okay. Try to sleep again, babe, okay?”

He nods, but both of you know you’re not going to fall asleep for a while. And that’s okay. You both sit there in the darkness talking about everything and nothing while you play with his hair and he holds the hand around his stomach with one of his hands. You don’t say anything else about you being pregnant or kids or how you want to get rid of it, and you’re glad. You don’t want to talk about it because you feel like a bad person for not wanting the baby. 

Of course, you’re not going to change your mind. Neither you nor Corpse are ready for a child. But that small voice in your head tells you that you’re making the wrong choice or a bad decision.

 But you don’t listen to it. You don’t listen to it that night while Corpse falls asleep again in your arms or when you’re in class the next day. Not even when you’re listening to a demo of Corpse’s new song in the car on the way to the clinic.

 “It’s really good!” you exclaim as he parks in the parking lot. “I love it, babe.”

He smiles at you before glancing at the clinic. “Want me to go with you?”

You shake your head. “No, I’ll be fine. It'll take little while, though. So you can go do something else if you want to.”

He nods and leans in to give you a kiss. “Okay. I love you. Text me if anything goes wrong at all, okay?”

You laugh gently and nod. “Okay, I will.”

“Love you,” he tells you again as you’re putting your mask on.

 You pull it down and smile at him softly. “You already said that, babe.”

He blushes and looks away. “O--oh. Sorry.”

You just kiss his cheek. “It’s okay. I’ll be back.” You pull your mask back up and gather your things before getting out of the car. You wave to him and then make your way into the clinic.

 And Corpse did stay true to his words about getting you In-N-Out after your appointment. He even paid for it and got you a milkshake, too. 

That night, after finally dragging Corpse away from his computer so he’ll at least try to fall asleep with you, you begin to think. You feel better after your appointment. Before, you were incredibly stressed out and even a little depressed. But afterward, you felt so much better. You felt like you could breathe and no have to worry about throwing up or eating the wrong thing.

 And you didn’t regret getting an abortion. You and Corpse both knew neither of you are ready for one and that’s okay. You’re both still young and still new to being together. But as Corpse hums some song against your neck with his nose buried in the skin there, you feel the vibrations from his throat against your shoulder. You sigh happily and push a hand into his hair and gently scratch at his scalp. You feel him smile against your neck and you can’t help but mimic it.

 Yeah. You and Corpse aren’t ready for kids. But maybe you will be one day.

---------------------

I’m sorry, but the tag list is closed. It’s just too stressful for me to keep adding them. I’m sorry, guys. Also sorry to everyone who messaged me to add them because I didn’t write them down and can’t access my messages now. Still love you guys! x. 

@honeysuger @chubby-dumpling @polahorvat @annshit @simonsbluee @dad-ee-drea @save-the-sky @wibblytimey @thegirlwholikestomanythings @yagorlnessa @alilshit @majolittlemixgurl18 @the-bunny-anon @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @loraleiix @artist-bby @ellomellows @pillowjj @matthew-gray-g @myherotrashbin @sunnsetteeee @lxdybyrd @cultofandom @anngelllla @tododokizuku @pachowpachowbucket @gaysludge @bethpiercwhy @marvelkatwoman @c0rpsew1fe @your-cherry-bomb @bi-andready-tocry @redosmo @gracehaileym @helena-way07 @nekomacam @fadingprunebagelfestival @fifiyau105 @easygoingtheatre @satanwithagenda @gracehaileym @oumachii @mythicalreader @this-isnt-living-anymore @punkrainbows @kitsunedarian @crapimahuman @honestlyimstilllivinginthe90s @realnicoleworld @scarswideworld @bluewneptune @weeblyheaux @beebo-at-the-church @melmachh @abbiesthings @peterparkerspjsuit @mitchiesdungeon @theeerealpunkin @kaitlynw011 @bookoffracturedghosts @beebeomgyu @tooturntashbash @hughugh20 @spideys-gurl @reddeserths @heartbroken-writer @chimchimsugakookies @danny-devitowo @susceptible-but-siriusexual @moonnei @crystalbaby12 @cherry-pieee @girl-obsessed-with-things @sokkas-paintings @yobroitsjayden @boba-king-iroh @chouxfleur @bbecc-a @tayloryorkscurls @getdevils @nightly-daydreamer @beegobuzzbuzz @dxffxdils @mae-musicbitch @fangirlmisanthrope @bipolarbisexualdisaster @taliyahvermillion @unded-bride @kguerrero-23 @cold-deep-water @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @motheroffae @jokenotfunny @yongboxerrr @theolwebshooter @hawkssnugget @yoyoanaria @babyhoneystvles @rjwinterfell @simp-for-corpse @benjaminka @sailor-earth-1 @mmimozaa @zirvel @bombardia @parkchaeyoung1997 @tetsuluvbot @killuaz0ldick @xibrokensunriseix@fuckbuckyyy @luv-buggie @moneybagmara @betabeta0031 @adorkably @angelic-blxssom @littlebabysandboxburritos @thebriarpatch @i-have-arrived-bitch @alexandrium

[anonymousbaev]

Can i request the RFA baking/cooking with MC? Thanks :)

Hi, thanks for the request and I'm sorry it's late. Ill try my best to get to all the requests! TT Hope you enjoy!

Cooking with the RFA

☆ Yoosung ☆

He enjoys cooking and doing it with you makes it ten times better.

He gets butterflies seeing you in his kitchen, wearing his green apron- and oh gosh he really hopes it doesn't smell, remembering how messy he got it the other day.

You decide to make pasta with a recipe you found online and Yoosung helps you lay all the ingredients down on the counter.

He tries not to make a mess of himself but the kitchen is so freaking small and you're so close to him!

Alright it's fine, he tries to focus his attention on cutting the onions.

He shouldn't be so nervous about this! He'll be cooking with you more often in the future!

The thought of that just makes his heart start to beat more rapidly

In a daze, he doesn't realize the knife slit a thin cut on his skin.

The sudden pain causes him to yelp and you end up turning around to see what's happened,

"Oh my gosh, are you okay Yoosung?"

"Yeah! I'm fine!"

You look at his hand and the blood to come to the conclusion that he needs help.

You bring him to the living room to apply treatments and you end up finishing the pasta alone.

Hey, it was still pretty delicious!

☕️ Jaehee ☕️

She was cuddling with you on the couch with a few of Zen's old DVDs when you both decided you were hungry.

She offers to make you soup and you gladly decide to join her.

Jaehee has everything organized and works at a fast pace.

She's honestly so nervous to have you in her kitchen, it's giving her an adrenaline rush.

She does most of the work while she often asks you for minor help like "Bring me the salt please!"

You've never seen her cook in person before, it's been mostly you bringing her lunch at the office.

A while after she begins to stir the pot, she offers you a spoonful for a taste.

It ends up tasting amazing and you give her soup two thumbs up,

"This tastes amazing. Hey, this kind of feels like we're a married couple!"

"Then we should do this sometime soon again."

You both exchange a smile and get the table set up to dig into some of that delightful soup!

🎤 Zen 🎤

Zen often made the meals, and sometimes you did.

You've never really cooked together before so this was new when Zen returned home early and decided to join making dinner.

There's not much in the fridge, the last time grocery shopping being a few weeks ago.

So you decide to make something simple: Grilled cheese.

It's a quick task, no.

It should have been a quick task.

But you and Zen decide to be 'that' affectionate couple even while putting some cheese between two pieces of bread.

Zen would feed you a few pieces of his bread and you would feed him some of yours.

Your sandwiches definitely come out where there's barely any bread left and the fat chunk of cheese is just sticking out.

Nonetheless, you move the sandwiches onto the pan and start flipping them.

There's not much to do so Zen wraps his arms around your waist as you both wait.

The outcome of your grilled cheese is... well, cheesy.

♛ Jumin ♛

"Mc?"

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Of course, I don't mind."

Jumin decided to make you pancakes for breakfast and, this time you actually woke up early enough to help him.

He makes the pancakes just as anybody would, yet if there's one thing he does differently, his measurements are perfect.

Perhaps that's how he gets his pancakes to taste so damn good.

Not to mention he's just being a big flirt with you the whole time.

He gives you little kisses and hugs from behind.

If there's something tall on the shelf you cant reach he's definitely gonna get it for you, teasing you in the progress.

At one point both of you are not paying attention because Elizabeth decides to knock the bowl of mixture and neither of you notice till disaster hits the floor. :(

👓 Saeyoung 👓

Saeyoung doesn't cook.

Nor does he want to or have the time to.

He likes washing the dishes, I mean he'd rather do that than cooking.

But recently... he's been thinking of all the reasons he should learn how to.

What if- you get sick and he doesn't know how to make soup?

If you break an arm and his cooking tastes disgusting, he has to order take out everyday it becomes bad for your health?

There's just so many reasons!!!

So you decided to teach him the basics of it.

Oh, if only you knew it would be this hard...

He doesn't follow a single direction on the cookbook,

"Mc look! It says to add sugar, but I think it needs some more salt?" (Proceeds to add more salt)

He also starts a food fight at one point to which you join in on.

At the end of your cooking class, the kitchen is a mess, Vanderwood is gonna be mad, poor boy Saeran wants his ice cream but there's weird goo on the fridge...

At least you both had a hell lot of fun!

♧ V ♧

It's Lucy's birthday, and this year you both decided to make the cake.

All the ingredients... check!

At least a few more hours before Lucy returns with Uncle Saeyoung and Saeran... check!

V's never baked a cake before but he hopes everything will turn out okay...

And it does! The bread turns out... well decent and you both get the decorations ready while the bread cools in the fridge.

After icing the cake, you leave most of the rest to V and the result is pretty amazing.

He decorates little flowers surrounding the words 'Lucy Happy Birthday!' near a small drawing of her.

His artistic skills saved this cake!

"Darling, do you think she'll like this?"

"Yes, In fact I think she'll love it Jihyun!"

[doberbutts]

Are you able to elaborate on the reactive dog clients? That sounds super interesting

Yeah I was meaning to I was just at work.

Dog 1: herdy mix rescue, was exposed to parvo as a puppy and heavily quarantined tho never became symptomatic. No early socialization as a result. Doing a lot of LAT and LAM, asking for good choices, owners are practicing psychologists (for humans) and mostly just needed help reading her body language. Improving rapidly.

Dog 2: Small Fluffy Dog (tm) acquired from pet store. Owner did not realize socialization was required. Doing a heavy CC protocol with her biggest triggers (humans). Has bitten multiple groomers in the past yet somehow not banned from corporate salon. Went in for a groom during class runtime, groomer reported she thought it was a different dog due to improved behavior. Stood quietly and wagged her tail for grooming. Can now be petted by respectful adults. Did great for Thanksgiving, has started seeking affection from strangers.

Dog 3: Small Fluffy Dog (tm) also acquired from a pet store. Language barrier prevented owner from seeking help sooner. Reports dog 'suddenly turned' when he hit 6 months. Dog honestly is kind of a shithead, owner is VERY permissive. No control, dog marks everywhere, owner too soft when interrupting behavior. Loud big bark when close to owner, but while shivering. Will not take treats, does not like treats, barely eats his actual food. Refused even high value foods like hot dogs and chicken. Did a few weeks of LAM/LAT and today introduced a mild, but swift, correction for shithead behavior. Dog improved rapidly, wagging tail and playbowing with his owner, making significantly better choices when near his triggers (choosing to return to owner and playbow instead of scream at a dog or passersby)

BONUS: Dog 4: retriever-y mixy thing. High anxiety diagnosed and treated by vet with sedatives. Going to me for about 6 months now and significantly improved on medication. Dog still somewhat unfocused and stressed, but able to think after a moment.

Each of these dogs is technically leash reactive and labeled either dog or human reactive. Out of all of them I think the only actual bite risk is the smallest fluffy, because she has actually bitten people before. They are each being given a totally different protocol to follow because their reactivity comes from different places. Dog 4 would not have improved on 3's protocol, in fact I think that would have harmed her progress. Dog 3's protocol is fairly similar to what I did with Creed's dog aggression. Dog 2 is almost entirely handsoff when it comes to me because she is a bite risk and I'm not looking to get blood poisoning again. Dog 1 needed relatively minor adjustments and mostly for her owners to be able to read her signals better, as she's quite loud (re: body language) about her discomfort.

This is also why I won't work with or advise anyone dealing with reactivity or aggression or symptoms of online. I must be able to see this dog in person because there's honestly so many different ways to go about fixing this and not all of them are interchangeable. I don't think Dog 3 would have been actively hurt by any of these methods but I do think they would not have allowed him to progress. I don't think most of these dogs need medication, but I had suggested speaking to a vet about meds for Dog 4 because her anxiety was becoming self destructive.

[shtern-and-art]

"Skeppy will probably cry" "Bad will probably cry". Bish, screw, that I am crying!!!

This whole thing was bloody gorgeous and I wasn't expecting that ending. I had no clue what ending to expect but that was definitely better than any I could have hoped for. Forest spirit to soulmate your honour!

I was terrified that you were gonna leave it at the point where he loses the spirit and becomes mortal again. If you had I would be actively sobbing!!!! And oh my god, the art!!! I still can't get over how wonderful your style is.

Imma ask fun things because if I don't I'll sit in a puddle of emotion all night:

What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it? Poor Skeppy trying to answer 101 questions about something he doesn't really use XD.

Is no one concerned that the odd couple from a town they never name has a pet wolf??

Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while. Find hidden creeks and befriend bears?

Does Bad still have a connection to nature and animals, like are creatures naturally more trusting of him?

Do they ever visit the og town again?

Does Skeppy still cause absolute chaos in other towns or has he learnt his lesson and only causes minor trouble now?

Does Bad ever try and study again? If he did what would he study and would Skeppy try to study as well?

Does Skeppy steal? I dunno, he just give off the vibe of a naughty lil trickster who'll pocket something if the owner refuses to sell it him.

Immediately after leaving the forest what the first 'argument' they have (not including the car one)?

Would they ever ride horse? If yes, how terrified would Skeppy be?

Skeppy falls outta tree. I don't know why but my mind keeps telling me that this man has great balance until he climbs trees. They are his mortal enemy and Bad finds this both hilarious and terrifying because he is going to hurt himself.

I had waaaaay more questions than I intended to have. My bad '^_^ but this story was way too much fun to read and you are entirely to blame for making it so engaging!

Make sure to take care of yourself and do stretches after and during drawing. You don't wanna hurt yourself <3

AaaaI’m so glad you liked it! :D And, dang, man, I cried while writing that part too :D

And I promised a nice ending for the main story, I did, and this one also makes the most sense narratively! For the story I wanted to tell, at least. Bad can’t really become human again, he’s changed to much. He can only move on, and do something with what he is, and has. And he did! :D That’s really nice and inspiring, this story will always have a place in my heart, heheh <3

Being a guardian spirit connected to a person and all, Bad may be not as strong as before, but he can’t die unless Skeppy dies first. And Skeppy can do that, but he’s pretty sturdy, and his lifespan operates on a whole other scale than human ones. And Bad knowing Skeppy’s real name balances it all out, makes them equal in the power and influence they have over each other.

So hellyeah, soulmates for the win :DDD

I’ll answer all questions under the cut, and this close up from one of the pages!

1) What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it?

Probably a pager! Because it’s a more feasible thing to get than a wholeass computer Bad actually wanted :D An it means Skeppy will have to get one too, and that Bad will be having the time of his life texting him and everyone he can get a number from, even if they’re still in the room with him.

Poor Skeppy indeed, he can learn to appreciate the pagers, and later phones, too, and computers, but he really has 0 idea on how it all works and why Bad is so fascinated by it all.

2) Rat and regular people

Oh, she can shapeshift, just like Bad! If they’re out with people around, she takes form of a puppy, and Bad can pass her off as a weird mix breed rescue doggo.

3) Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while?

Oh, since they have no end destination in mind, they can ride around for a bit, go visit some cool places and roadside attractions. Sadly, Skeppy is probably not spiritually or morally ready to full on befriend wild bears yet, and they do need money for gas and snacks. So, at some point they will have to stop somewhere and find work – at least for a bit, to save up. Life’s gonna be a bit complicated with all that, until Skeppy figures out his treasure-finding abilities :DD

4) Bad and nature and animals

He is definitely still in tune with all wildlife! Even more – Bad could become a proper guardian spirit for Skeppy in part because, in a way, Skeppy himself is part of the nature.

So yeah, Bad can understand animals (and plants) and communicate with them; they’re just more free to not take his shit, and Bad’s emotions do not “possess” them unless he makes an effort to do so.

He doesn’t like doing it, tho.

5) Do they ever visit the og town again?

Hm, I think they will completely forget about it for a while, until, like, 30+ years later they will be going somewhere, and find themselves around those parts. And they try to not appear too often in the areas they’ve spent a lot of time in already (they can be pretty recognizable, and also barely show signs of aging). But it’s been a long time, and the town’s really different now… So they make a stop, and spend a day there. They walk the unfamiliar streets between the new buildings, check out the popular hiking trail, the advertisements for hot springs and winter activities. The old cinema is still there, and is hosting an all-night marathon of classic horror movies of the last century.

Bad and Skeppy leave the town after sunset – the day was nice, but they have nothing more to do there. They ride through the forest on a well paved road, with radio playing something barely above the whisper. And in the dark of hot summer night, Bad can see the white stag running between the trees alongside their car. Shadows dance over the shimmering light of it’s fur.

Somewhere after the towns border, the stag disappears back in the forest. But the air in the car stays light and fresh, saving the smell of old pines and dry leaves all though the night.

6) Skeppy and chaos

Well, after the whole mess in the main story, Skeppy definitely learned some lessons, especially about not being a dick :D

But the thing is – he can’t really help the fact that things tend to stir up around him a lot. He naturally brings in chaos into everything, because he is, in part, a personification, or an outlet for it in the world. And so, to feel, well and good, and himself Skeppy gotta do stuff that disrupts balance, and creates some mayhem. And in gave him a lot of trouble in early life, but in the course of the main story he learned that he can chose were he lets that chaos to take hold, learned what can come of that chaos, apart from utter misery.

Like, where it can help dismantle something destructive, and where – bring in the more positive change, that was already brewing, possible, but is stagnant for some reason.

Soooo, I can’t say Skeppy causes only minor chaos in his life, but he sure learns even more about not being a dick :DDDD

7) The studying

I think Bad will want to get a higher education at some point, because he wanted to, and because it’s already new millennia and all that. Bet he’ll go for something very technical and/or literature. Maybe he’ll start by piking up some classes in small time colleges, when they stop in one place for a while, and later get into an online program, because why not.

Skeppy is not a college guy at all. He’ll listen to Bad talk about it, read textbooks if he wants to, can research stuff, buuut going to classes and doing homework is definitely not his thing.

8) Stealing

Well, you’re right, Skeppy can and will steal stuff out of spite! And will be scolded by Bad for it, and will not feel (that) sorry about it. But real stealer between them will be Bad himself :D

It’s just… he has the corvid tendencies, and a hoard (a box) of sentimental mementos from different people and events, and the thrill of stealing something small and harmless is very exciting. Bad is very proud of his little collection. Skeppy finds it very adorable, a bit hypocritical, and kinda creepy. Like, that pretty box he gifted Bad at some point is now full of stuff like:

- pressed flower from the clearing they had a picnic at on their anniversary

- the button the waitress lost that one day the storm caused a black out in the whole town

- some small animal bones

- couple pretty rocks Bad stole from Skeppy’s pockets

- penny that was once glued to the ground

- a handful of teeth people (and not people) lost in fights with Bad

- pen from some fancy hotel

- rainbow dash keychain that belonged to a child

- the list goes on

9) Argument

Oh, that same day they’ll fight over whether they should stay at the really crappy and suspicious looking motel, or go sleep in a perfectly fine forest near the road. Ironically, Bad wanted to try out the motel (because, yay, first time spending the night back in civilization), and Skeppy was the one insisting on sleeping in nature (because the motel looks like it could give you 10 diseases if you even stand near it, and sleeping in the forest is kind of nice, and means they can cuddle).

10) Horses

The guys will probably ride them at some point. Well, Bad will ride, and Skeppy will sit on his horse and hope it knows what to do and where to go, because trying to make this giant thing do something seems dangerous. If they’ll have to actually go somewhere fast, Skeppy will not survive that day, his butt (and legs) will be dead for days to come.

And riding with Bad on one horse may sound romantic and nice, but all romance dies when the gallop starts.

F.

11) Skeppy and climbing

Skeppy is more down to earth kind of guy, more of a “rocks and caves” kind of creature, real-life lizard person or something. Up on the trees and in the air – not really his element, yeah. But it doesn’t mean that Skeppy will accept this fact easy. The embarrassment of never managing to safely make it down a tree is too strong, he just has to do it all over again, and again. And again. Because, clearly, he was distracted this time. And the time before that Bad was teasing him, and it “disrupted his flow”. And, really, maybe these trees here just do not like Skeppy much, and make him slip a lot. Yeah.

So, more often than not, if Skeppy climbs a tree, he will not stop climbing it until he falls, or the tree ends. Bad had to take him off high branches couple times, forcefully, because, of course, Skeppy was sitting there for 2 hours just to properly enjoy the sunset. He can climb down at any point, he just Choses not to. The view is amazing. The bark is literally part of his skin now, not because he holds on tight, no, he’s just Than Much one with the nature )<

---

Don’t apologize for the questions! It’s always so fun to answer them, and it makes me think more about stuff I may have skipped, or didn’t think about before. It’s really nice :3c

Again, thank you for the ask, and for being here for this story! <3

(And I’ll try setting timers for rest breaks while I draw, mb that will help)

---

In The Dark - masterpost

[pinoy-culture]

before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!