#they also said that its why we get sunburnt and need sunglasses and stuff. because clearly the suns radiation is not natural

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just saw a tiktok (that probably originated as a YouTube video or something because it was long) trying to theorize that humans evolved on Mars and I'm honestly just devastated. Like I feel old. We shouldn't be on the internet.

These are grown ass men, with degrees, being so sure of themselves that the reason we are so poorly evolved is because we're not made for this planet and not just that like... evolution sucks? Like have they studied nothing but humans their entire lives? There's too many animal species to count where they literally die over stupid shit like evolving without a stomach so they die of starvation (see: all moths after their caterpillar stage) We aren't built different.

[charliebattinson]

ON THE ROAD | Road trip with Shawn (BP) | Shawn Mendes

Hey loves!!! So this is my first legit writing? I don’t write imagines and this is just bullet points but I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I felt like writing it. Most likely I won’t be writing again, I just had so much inspiration for this haha. I hope you guys enjoy, i hope it’s not too cringe and feedback is much appreciated! Also a huge thank you to @illumegeoff for helping me on how to insert an image lol & for being super supportive (p.s. the yolo phrases was something inspired by you based on what i saw on your blog lmao) and @justadashoffangirling for being super supportive!!!

super spontaneous

“Hey babe let’s go across the country”

“Sure. When?” “Now!” “WHAT NOW?”

Shawn would be “YOLO”

You just pack all the necessities. Super little clothes

“We won’t really be needing a lot of clothes” 😏

You bring your polaroid because memories

You guys legit have no idea where to go. No plans at all.

Just drive, drive and drive

You’re so turned on by shawn driving stick in a pick up truck with sunglasses on

You take a pic of him

And you’re like “mamma mia”

“Shawn pull over”

Red cheeks and messy hair

Playing old hits like no scrubs, leaving on a jet plane, bittersweet symphony, a thousand miles

“But I would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more”

“Da da da (da da da)”

Playing games in the car

You shuffle your music and play name that tune

License plate game - see how many different license plate you can find or try to find a phrase in that license plate

Shawn being a sour loser

“HEY I GOT THAT FIRST”

Shawn not talking to you because you won

“You’re such a big baby”

Kissing his face and neck to make him give in

“Baby I don’t wanna die”

Stopping by the gas station

Buying shit load of junk food

Trying to talk to each other with your mouths full of cheetos giggling at one another

See who can stuff more marshmallows in their mouths

You stop by an open area with a tiny cliff in the middle of the dessert because the stars are so pretty and night is beautiful

Lying down at the hood of the car talking about things while sharing a bottle of cheap wine

You decide to spend the night there

Cuddling with loads of fluffy blankets in the back of the truck

You take turns driving

Shawn puts his hand on your thigh just to soothe you; he finds comfort in touching you

You rent a motel room and take a nap before heading out for the night

There’s a country fair!!! Drinking on apple ciders and sharing on a turkey leg and funnel cake

Dancing to “sweet home alabama”

Playing fair games

Shawn gets so competitive with some of the kids in the fair games

“HE WAS 8 SHAWN”

“AGE IS JUST A NUMBER”

winning a huge ass stuffed toy

FERRIS WHEEL 🎡

You’re scared for the both of you because he’s a fucking tree and you feel like your seats are just gonna break

when you’re up there at the top you can’t help but just admire how shawn looks, how much you love him and he can’t help but do the same

Next thing you know Shawn’s trying to unlock the door to your motel room, struggling with the keys but its so hard to because he can’t stop kissing you

“Shawn open the fucking door”

Hands everywhere on each other, clothes scattered on the floor

It’s giggly and playful at first then it becomes rough and needy “from giggles to loud moans”

“Shawn we’re going to leave a dent in the wall. Tone it down”

“Fuck no”

Shawn takes a pic of the two of you after sex. You guys have a private scrapbook full of intimate and candid polaroids. Something to keep both of you sane when he’s on tour for months

Talking, eating in between the sheets

Shawn playing the guitar (of course he brought it) and serenading you with the police’s “every little thing she does is magic”  and you can’t help but swoon so hard

Round 2 becomes round 3 and so on…

Late night swimming in the pool of the motel

Waking up in the late morning because of how spent you are

You straddle shawn and take a polaroid of him sleeping with his full lips and fluffy hair

Morning sex 😏

Getting ready to head for the next place

Showering together taking a pic of him in the shower because its a glorious sight to see with his wet hair

Arguing on which road to take

“I SAID RIGHT SHAWN WHY DID YOU TURN LEFT?!”

“I panicked!”

getting so confused with the directions of the map till you both realize its been upside down all this time

“Fuck”

Your tire runs flat

“Fuck”

Shawn goes and replaces it, his arms are in full flex mode and he’s so hot doing it

“Fuck”

Finally getting to the destination

HORSESHOE BEND, ARIZONA

You’re both so amazed on how beautiful it but also curse at how hot it is

SUNBURNT SHAWN™

“Babe lets take tourists shots”

You admire how cute shawn looks with a baseball cap, backpack and his arizona shirt as he gives you a big smile when you take a picture of him

You just sit there just staring at it admiring it and how happy you are with this spontaneous trip

Buying postcards and a souvenir to every place that you visit

You head out to a diner

Burgers and milkshakes; sharing a banana split, deciding where to go next

“Yolo bitch”.. “shawn” .. “sorry”

You decide to go to the beach in the middle of the night

Skinny dipping

“WHY DID I LET YOU DO THIS TO ME IM FUCKING FREEZING”

“What if my balls fall off or what if something bites them”

Falling asleep on the beach and waking up in time for the sunrise

You bump into your old college friends and they invite you to a beach party

ITS A LIT 🔥🔥🔥 BEACH PARTY

You and shawn do shotguns and beer pongs ; maybe eat little amount of “brownies”

You and shawn get seperated at the party

You find shawn with a crowd cheering on him

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

He’s doing a keg chug and he’s so drunk

He’s screaming “YOLOOOOOOO”

Drunkly making out

You drunkly watch the fireworks

“PEW PEW”

“I looove youuuu”

Pass out and wake up to your friends house

Spend the day in the beach just chilling, sunbathing

Burying shawn in the sand and ditching him

“AH FUCK YOU”

Pouring aloe vera all over shawn’s face

BUNGEE JUMPING

Watch this for visuals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e4e217pXrU

Camping out near the woods

You both have no clue on how to built a tent

Having a bonfire and melting marshmallows

He brings out his guitar and sings

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

“How do we have sex in a tent?”

“We can’t shawn you’re too goddamn big”

“Oh really… 😏”

Waking up to a beautiful breezy morning

Visiting a nice town, renting out a bed and breakfast

The old couple who owns the place admires the both of you because it reminds them of their younger selves

Sleepless night 😏

The old couple also has a sleepless night because they thought someone was getting murdered

“I hope that poor girl is alright”

Shawn’s smirking “oh she’s more than alright”

Kicking his leg under the table “OW”

Visiting an old vinyl shop

Going to the local bakery and trying out all their pies

Playing footsie under the table

“We need to wash our clothes. I’m running out of clothes to wear”

Fooling around in the laundry shop since you two are literally the only people there

You guys go to the weirdest museums

“What the fuck am i looking at”

Visiting a lake

Shawn paddling a boat and having that scene just like in the notebook

Also getting stuck in the middle of the lake because shawn has no sense of direction

HAVING A DRIVE IN MOVIE DATE

Throwing popcorn at each other

Visiting more tourist spots

SHAWN IN A BUCKET HAT HOW CUTE IS THAT

SO MANY POLAROID SHOTS

Last night before you go home you would just camp out in the middle of nowhere looking at the stars finding constellations and talking about your future together

“As long as you’re right beside me i’ll be fine wherever we are”

“Lots of kids. I don’t care how we’re gonna do it but i want a lot of kids”

trying out having sex in the back of the truck in the middle of nowhere

“I feel so exposed right now”

Falling asleep to shawn’s humming

Waking up and getting ready to go back home; long ass drive home

Passing out on your bed when you get home

Shawn takes a pic of you sleeping and keeps that polaroid whenever he’s away on tour; something to keep him by

“I love you so much”

“Thanks for the trip baby. We needed that”

“What can i say? YOLO bitch” “shawn” “sorry”