#they all choose violence when the MC gets harassed

[missnight0wl]

something i dont quite understand, male mc getting bulied by merula. i know boys get bullied but other boys are the perpetrators, not girls. wouldn't have been better to have a male merula when the player chooses to play as a boy just like rowan?

Hm, I never really thought about it, but…

Well, first of all, I have to point out that while other boys might be the perpetrators in most cases when a boy is being bullied, it’s not a rule. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have male victims of domestic violence or sexual harassment. On top of that, even if it happens, it rarely is discussed, so it feels even more unfair to say that a boy being bullied by a girl is something that can’t happen, in my opinion. In a way, I’m kind of glad that HPHM chose this approach with Merula. Also, it’s actually sort of on-brand for them because we also have good Slytherins etc.

Another thing to consider here is that a big part of the HPHM audience is female. I have no data to support it now, but I believe that both HP fandom and mobile game players are dominated by girls/women. I think it’s actually reflected in the advertisement for the game too, for example. Notice that they usually use female MC. We had a girl in the very first teaser and now we often see a Hufflepuff girl being used in ads or on loading screens (her official name is Emma, if I’m not mistaken). Therefore, I suppose it’s possible the creators decided that the rivalry with Merula would be a female vs female kind for most players, and so they saw no need to introduce a male rival. Admittedly, I see your point comparing it to the situation with Rowan, but to be completely honest, I believe that Rowan matching MC’s gender was supposed to play a bigger role in the story. Perhaps it was originally planned to have some scenes in our dormitory or something like that, but those plans were abandoned due to the technical aspect. Of course, it’s just my guess, but with Rowan, I can at least imagine some situations where their gender would be relevant to the story. I don’t really see it with Merula though.

Finally, I suspect that Matt London’s bias played some role here. He was the one who created Merula. I’m pretty sure I even saw his post on Twitter calling Merula and Penny his “daughters”. Moreover, if I recall correctly, he admitted once that she was at least partially inspired by his ex-girlfriend (I think it was in the context of Merula’s scent we learnt in one of CoMC classes: “cloves, nail polish, and some other elusive scent”). So, I guess it’s pretty safe to say that he had a very specific vision in mind for her character – which might explain why he didn’t even consider creating a male version of Merula.

Overall, having a male version of Merula could be interesting, but at the same time, I understand why it’s not the case.

[obesericewrites]

What would the ROs do if someone was flirting with MC and not taking no for an answer?

You are the worst. We gonna have a fist fight in a Walmart parking lot 😤

M: Would get between you both and threaten to fight if they don’t back off. M has seen this in the forest and has no problem knocking this person flat on their ass. They would force the person away from you and almost cover you with how much their hunching over you. M would ask if your alright. If you say no. M would take you back to your shop and let you use them to make large clothing.

Even though M doesn’t enjoy enclosed spaces like your shop, if your happy their happy.

S: Would grab the person by the shoulder and dig their fingers in the persons shoulder until they grimaced in pain. S brought their face close to the persons face and practically grind out these words, “No means no my friend. If you don’t back off we can take this outside and I’ll give you the same treatment when your begging for me to let you live.” When the person leaves, S will ask if your alright. If you say no. S will take you somewhere nice and make sure you have a great time.

Making sure that creep was the last person on your mind and that they where the first.

B: Would push the person away from you as soon as they recognized your uncomfortable face and situation. If the person threatens to swing on B. One punch would be all it takes for them to be knocked out. B is a strong person, their parent raised them as a farmer and rarely babied them. So when the person goes down it isn’t a surprise. They’ll turn to you and quickly herding you away from them asking you all types of questions. If you say your not alright after that. B will take you to a nearby bakery and feed you as many sweets as your heart desires.

Though Bs coin pouch will definitely suffer a bit. Seeing you smile will make it all worth it.

[fictif-moonlight]

Umm hi po! Can i request some Heir to love and lies main 3 That Someone is Sexual harrassing the mc? And the mc Is innocent like the mc never know what the guy doing? So The mc let it be? Bc Theyre innocent The Mc is gender neutral 😅😅

Thanks for the request ❤️. Sorry it took so long, I hope you like it!!!

Note: Sexual harassment is capable of happening to anyone. If you related to this I am very sorry and I want to let you know that you are strong for going through it. 💕

Heir to Love and Lies Main 3 Headcanons:

When an Oblivious Mc gets Sexually Harassed - Gender Neutral Reader

Writings Masterlist

Warning: Sexual Harassment

Sergio:

• He was ready to pull out the lawyer card and threaten that man the moment he saw what was happening. He walked towards you, very calm and collected, his expression on the other hand… Let's just say he was pissed, I'm dragging you to hell kind of pissed. He was very quick to lay out the outcome for the person who harassed you. He made sure they know damn well what was going to happen to them. Despite his harsh words towards that person, he was very comforting towards you. He made sure to ease your shoulder, silently comforting you while verbally dragging that man to hell.

• He was very concerned afterwards. He asked you if you were alright, asked you if that has happened more than once. He felt very hurt and sad for you when he realized you were oblivious about it. Made sure to let you know what happened, how to legally deal with those things and how to defend yourself.

• He wrapped you up in a blanket, gave you cuddles, ran his fingers through your hair, and whispered sad reminders from time to time.

Chava:

• He wanted to punch that man in the face, which is unlike him because he's not the type to choose violence. Which means he was extremely angry, to the point where violence crossed his mind. Despite that, he didn't choose violence at all, he did his best to stay calm. He told the man how disgusting he was for doing such thing. He held your hand every word of it, squeezing it, not out of anger, but to assure you he's right there by your side.

• He gave you some coffee once you two got home and asked if you were alright. When you were slightly confused about it he asked Aurora if she could help him explain it to you since he didn't want to say anything wrong.

• He held you extra tight that night. Prayed that it won't happen again, prayed that you wouldn't have to go through that again.

Val:

• She was the most feral. She wanted to throw them in jail. In Val the badass cop we stan. You didn't understand most of the spanish words she said but you can tell they were vulgar. She was angry, but you could recognize her sadness pass her anger.

• Even after everything went down her face was still pissed and disgusted. She gave you some self defense weapons like pepper spray and an alarm. When you looked a bit confused she asked you if you knew what the man did to you. She teared up when she found out you didn't exactly know what was happening.

• She gave you an hour long lecture about it, not the annoying kind people get from their parents, but the genuine and caring kind. She couldn't hide the sadness in her face whenever she'd pause for a moment.

Note: My ask box is open if anyone wants to ask/request some Fanfics and Headcanons. I will write for Sergio, Chava, Val, and other Heir to Love and Lies Characters.

[fantasmicdisneynerd]

It’s where I defend “Beauty and the Beast” VS a lot of romance novels where the main love interest keeps the other protagonist locked up in a tower or home (aka Fifty Shades of Grey or any so called “Beauty and the Beast” story on Wattpad).

The Beast yelled at her for one day, she left, came back to treat his wounds, and then- physically shown in both the movies since they’re on freakin EYE LEVEL- during the remainder of Belle’s stay they are in equal grounds with the knowledge Belle can leave whenever she wants to but chooses not to while the Beast changes his behavior so he can be a better companion to Belle and not make her run away, all while rediscovering his humanity from the curse.

After that one day of yelling and fear, the Beast never once does any further actions that could irredeemably hurt Belle and allows her freedom to use her personal agency. Thus by respecting her agency after she returns and both of them coming to be on equal grounds and seeing each other at equals, Disney’s B&TB is actually a healthy example of “enemies to lovers”.

This is completely different from the so called “Enemies to Lovers” where not only are the MC love interests removed from their families without consent, in under 24 hours they have undergone some form of physical, mental, or election so abuse at the hands of the Love Interest with visible wounds. And this pattern of behavior where the MC can’t establish equal ground with the Love Interest because the Love Interest continues to manipulate the situation so they’re continually on unequal ground and power dynamics that enforce that unequal ground (slave to master, colonizer to colonized, sexist man to women or feminine man, rich to poor, etc). And in LGBT circles, race and disability don’t come up at all as power dynamics because we rarely get Disabled or BIPOC LGBTQ in both fanfiction, Wattpad stories, and in media. But when race is a factor or disability, that creates even more power dynamics that never allow the relationship to be on equal ground.

And the reason power dynamics need to be focused on is because in unhealthy power dynamics, one always sees the other in a lesser or unequal position because the structure of the power dynamics is maintained on the views of someone being lesser than them. Equality threatens the structure of that power dynamics and thus threatens the identity of the person that benefits the most from that position. The master cannot see the slave as a human being because to do so means he must forsake his title of master and the benefits that position brings him. The sexist male cannot see women/ feminine men as equal without shedding his world views. And the absurer cannot see the person they’re abusing as someone worthy of love and respect because it would then force them to reconcile the harm they have done and lose the power and position they have over their victims.

And this is why I have problems with so called “enemies to lover” ships like Ray/Kilo is the distinct unhealthy power dynamics the “LI” have over the MC and the harm their actions repeatedly put them in. Kilo’s first meeting with Ray led to physical violence, psychic mental assault, and then continual stalking and harassment across the rest of the franchise. Or another example is the plethora of werewolf books on Wattpad labeled “enemies to lovers” who has the LI butcher the MC’s packs, forces them back to their packs, commits physical and emotional abuse towards MC, and marks them magically into an enternal relationship by biting them in the neck in a move that should be consensual but isn’t, all while restricting them from leaving the grounds of the pack to get basic necessities. And in a few chapters after this, they’re supposed to be in love while maintaining the exact same power dynamics only now the LI “loves” them. Usually explained away also by the discovery of a tragic childhood (LOOKING AT YOU 50 SHADES OF GREY).

Hollywood and mostly white male writers who love power dynamics have warped how we view power dynamics and what should be labeled as abuse and unhealthy power dynamics as “enemies to lovers” and redeemable actions. That somehow Ray’s Love redeems Kilo of killing millions, assaulting her and her friends, killing his own crew, and killing his father. That somehow the love the Wattpad heroine has for the LI redeems him from butchering an entire pack, abusing her, and even sexual harassment.

are y’all aware that “enemies to lovers” is supposed to mean “people on opposing sides of a conflict fall in love” and not “an abuser/murderer/etc. and their personal victim fall in love”

like it’s about the star-crossed yearning, not abuse apologism

[afflatusafrica]

Reading For Change-18th Edition_Panel Discussion

By Tom Patrick

Mc introduced Jean Damascene Karinda Ndabirora, the panel moderator. to lead the panel discussion and the theme was "Gender based violence and our role in shaping a non-violent society."

He introduced his panelist on stage Mrs. Annette Natukunda Mukiga, Director of programs Rwanda women Network.she's also a social worker by profession. a feminist and femwise Africa.

Mr. Jeremy Solomons, JSA consulting Rwanda. he's an independent global leadership consultant, who recently relocated to Kigali and is a passionate ally, advocate and activist of gender equality and safety.

And Mrs. Uwizihiwe Leonne Laura, Diversity and Inclusion manager at Kepler, she has been demonstrating her commitment to improve gender equality in Rwanda for over ten years.

"Mrs Annette, how does gender violence meets with you and your work?" PM asked

"I experienced gender based violence in the society and family. In my work we meet with it where a woman can be beaten because she hasn’t completed her work. It still exists in our community. Men are violated but women more."Annette said

In few cases of gender violence most of our laws are on women, as a feminist how do you think we can think on both sides? PM asked Annette.

"Its not promoting the sameness it’s about equity" Annette said

"I’m calling out about equity and equality. I want my daughter to be treated equitively and not equally. she’s a graphic designer I want her to go after it not for how she looks but for how she perform her wirk. In this era of fake news we have to be aware of what we share write or say on social medias." Jeremy said

"What pushed you to become an activist as a man?" PM aked Jeremy

" I could do what I want. I think we all need to be activists. If you don’t do something you will let violence happen. People ask me and I tell them its something we have to do. As umuzungu the things I knew about Rwanda was gorilla, genocide and gender." Jeremy mentioned, replying to the question

"What most of challenges you have faced along your journey?" PM asked Leonna

"At Kepler, I make sure that everyone is safe. We have community of refugees female and we provide support. I was awarded in championing gender equality. We face a problem that females are the one who fight for equality than men. Mostly women get attentive after being beaten, they don’t like the harassment before. The system we live in doesn’t understand the query of woman. When a man gets jailed they take it as something normal but for woman it becomes a problem." Leonne said

" I have decided not to marry because of what I faced and I decided to have children but as a single mother. For me I think that it starts from a person. We need to be questioning as feminists. We need to say no to it and its good for both men and women." Annette added

"When we grrow our boys we tell them don’t cry like a girl and when they grow up they become violent. The society is also doing harm to men." said Leonne

"that saying of 'that’s not a man’s role to do this' has to change. We all biased. how do we interact with people its our responsibility." Jeremy said

"How can we be activists of gender equality by considering the need of both sides?" PM posed the question to Annette

"Its a very difficult question but it all back to power. when talking about it we look at 4 perspectives; power within yourself, power to act, power with someone else and overpower. And we choose to use overpower and we should reflect on ourselves. Let’s stop pointing fingers. I want a world that recognizes us as human beings and being equal. Not being extremist." Annette

"Considering current situation in country is gender equality good?"

" I think we still have a long journey. For Rwandans to be flourishing we need to look at all sides poverty, water, infrastructure not just saying that women are in parliament but the good effect it makes to the society." Annette continued

"What we need to do to shape a non-violent society?" PM asked Leonna

"We made some steps but we still have some to make. You can’t say equality without equity. In organization we focus more on equality where men are in high positions than women. We must teach our children formal education treating them equally. Curriculum needs to be adjusted and teachers should be trained. Young people should address issues around us. Either to a woman or a man." Leonna said

" Mr.Jeremy, what do you have for young man? PM asked

"You have to do this in equality. You can do it with your friends, on your social Medias. I didn’t become a feminist because it brings more sayings. I decided to be activist. There’s a lot to be done but also to celebrate what Rwanda has achieved. Just be loud in a respectful way." Jeremy said

After panel discussion, PM opened the discussion to the audience to ask questions

Monica asked, how can we change the image of woman and women but appropriately?

"Some women try to change how they look in order to get recognized. I think Mental ability shouldn’t appear in dressing and look." leonne replied.

"Recognizing that the look is not an issue. Apart from being who you are, you have to be strategic and know how are you going to communicate and who are you going to talk to." Annette added

"Humanity is like an eagle, it needs two wings to fly." Jeremy said

"most cases are based in rural areas than urban what’s the cause?" Ange said

What are the strategies we can use to fight gender violence? one asked

Another one asked, what strategy will you use to address this issue?

"Maybe it’s the stigma attached to it. Because they are more likely to report. And urban take themselves as people who knows thing." Annette replied

"Rural areas are bigger than urban and so the numbers." Leonne added.

"Breaking silence is also promoted by other things not communicating, not talking about it, drug abuse, uncontrolled behaviors. How do you manage anger, we need to learn." said Annette

"how do you deal with it as a single mom, to raise a child who's ready not to violent others?" Mc asked

"child can meet other people. I will try to do much nonviolently and make sure they are safe with the community." Annette replied

After question and answers session the panelist backed to their seats and Mc told the audience to share what they learnt in the event on social medias with pictures.

He then thanked Reviewer, panel moderator and panelist, telling more about reading for change and afflatus Africa and that the next event will be on 5th October at Kigali public library from 2pm. he also Talked about conqueros’s conference which Afflatus Africa is planning then, all the attendees together took a group photo and started networking.