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the-last-cuddlebender · 4 years ago

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Bigger Than the Bad Guys

“Bumi, I am very disappointed in you.” “I know…” “You could have been killed. You deliberately disobeyed me. And what’s worse, you put Kya in danger.”

...Even Auntie Toph had told them to stay away from the bad-place in the city. And Auntie Toph never told them not to do something. Bumi just wanted to be brave like Daddy and make his Mama smile again…

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A/N: This is exactly what you think it is because f*ck me if DadMufasa!Aang and ToddlerSimba!Bumi in post-atla/pre-tlok are not so wholesome that I damn well might perish.

(very lightly edited because I was in a mood but mehhhh)

Rating: G (W for wholesome)

Words: 4,572

ArchiveOfOurOwn

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Kya was having second thoughts, and Bumi would be lying if he said he wasn’t, too.

They’d been walking for forever in the almost pitch-black. It was really stinky, too, even by his standards, and the heavy air pressed against him like it was squishing him smaller and smaller as the tunnel got bigger and deeper. The damp stuck to his skin in a greasy film.

He couldn’t count how long they’d been walking—he couldn’t count a lot at all since he didn’t know all his numbers—but it was long enough to make him hungry.

It was also long enough for Daddy’s concerned face and Mama’s teary shouts to become clearer and clearer in his memory. The mind-picture made his chest itch like something was stuck there, and he kept swallowing and itching it like he might be able to dig it out.

It didn’t work. But for Kya, he pretended it did. He tried to walk like Daddy.

He wasn’t second-guessing their mission, of course. That was the utmost priority. Mama and Daddy had been worrying over the bad guys from ‘the underground’ for so, so long…

It made Bumi almost as frustrated as it made him sad.

He didn’t understand for the life of him why their parents didn’t go to ‘the underground’ with Auntie Toph and Uncle Sokka to beat the bad guys up and get it over with.

They were the bravest heroes ever.

And it wasn’t like ‘the underground’ was hard to find.

It was underground.

Duh.

Granted, he and Kya had to go through the old bad-place that Daddy had been helping Auntie Toph ‘clear out’.

Mama had told him—before his and Kya’s planning phase—that they weren't allowed to follow Daddy to his Avatar-work near that place.

Bumi didn’t understand why she was so serious.

Her or Daddy.

Especially Daddy.

The even worse part was that their father had smiled while he made them promise not to go to the bad-place. Then he had taken them for ice-cream, and Mama let them jump in the deep end of the oasis to practice their swimming.

Then Daddy paced throughout the night, and Bumi heard through his door (if he pressed his ear so hard it hurt) that Mama stayed up with him and talked with him in the gentle way she did when he or Kya had nightmares.

It made Bumi’s heart hurt in the ache-y way his lungs did when Kya dunked him in the water for too long and got in trouble for it.

He didn’t want Daddy and Mama to hide frowns with fake smiles anymore.

They were being brave, though. They always were.

‘The underground’ was a really, really big bad, after all.

But Bumi and Kya could be brave, too.

And their mission would help their parents way more than the extra hugs and kisses they’ve been giving them.

Maybe, after he and Kya return as brave heroes, Daddy and Mama will sleep instead of fidget and whisper when he and Kya curl in bed with them.

Bumi sighed. Kya held his arm a bit tighter. His sister didn’t care what people thought; if she was scared, she showed it.

Bumi wouldn’t admit that he was, though. Mama and Daddy wouldn’t. Especially not to Kya. Especially especially when his Sissy held his arm with both hands as their torch burned to its wick. He was teetering on a razor’s edge between thrill and terror, and he made himself smile at her even when his stomach felt all float-y.

Because even Auntie Toph had told them to stay away from the bad-place. And Auntie Toph never told them not to do something.

But Bumi could be brave like her, too. And Uncle Sokka.

He will be.

He and Kya were brave just like Daddy and Mama.

Plus, Bumi had his new knife that Uncle Zuko gave him for his birthday, so he was prepared for anything.

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Bumi lost his knife and their torch as soon as he saw the first bad guy. His hands shook so much—the bad guy was so big—that he dropped them.

Kya could at least waterbend. He saw her (try to) push and pull the water with Mama the last time they swam in the deep end of the oasis.

If there was any water down here, then maybe she could have made them slip.

They ran. They hit a dead end. Bumi’s limbs were long enough. He could climb up into the next tunnel.

His sister’s weren’t. Kya’s whimpered panting—her lungs weren’t as big as his, either—broke free her first sob as she clawed the wall and kept slipping down.

She looked at him like Mama had when she watched him fall off the roof without knowing until she raced to the bottom that Daddy was there to catch him.

It made his insides turn to slush, and Kya’s small cry put daggers in his lungs.

His Sissy was terrified.

Bumi was almost just as scared, but he jumped back to the enemy-laden ground and glared like he was about to beat their butts all at once, just like Mama did in the stories Auntie Toph told them when their parents weren’t watching.

His Sissy’s tight grip on the bottom of his shirt—she had only ever held on to Daddy’s robes, and only if she was really, really scared—gave Bumi the strength to hold on to the last string holding his shaking limbs together.

His sister was smaller than him. He would not leave her, and he would not let the bad guys hurt her.

No matter how big the fourth bad guy was.

Or the eighth.

Or the twelfth.

Kya’s back hit the wall before Bumi’s did, and she slid to the ground. Bumi stood in front of her. The bad guys painted the wall with the inky cloaks of their shadows. Bumi was a broken leaf between his sister and a pack of devils who jeered new no-no words that, even though he didn’t know what they meant, by the way they said them to his Sissy gave him the feeling that even Auntie Toph wouldn’t use them.

The bad guys stepped closer. Bumi tried to stand like Daddy did a year ago when the other bad man and broke a hole through Kya’s wall and hurt Mama.

Daddy had stood over all of them in the middle of a storm of stone and fire and arrows and didn’t move an inch. He broke apart boulder after fireball like they were nothing as they waited for Auntie Toph and Uncle Sokka to get there.

Bumi’s legs shook, and he sucked in a breath and held it like maybe the air would keep him afloat and on his feet when his legs gave out.

Auntie Toph and Uncle Sokka weren’t coming this time.

Or Daddy and Mama.

Bumi and Kya were alone.

Bumi’s heart raced so fast that it felt like it was vibrating more than it was beating. He stopped breathing a while ago. His lungs were shriveling up and hiding in his throat like they were even scared-er than his Sissy.

Kya was crying on her knees behind him. She was shaking, too—he felt it from where she grasped his calf.

One of the bad guys had grabbed her arm the first time they cornered them. Bumi had bitten him and ran as far as he could while he dragged Kya behind him.

Now the bad guy was earthbending a boulder the size of Bumi six-times-over, and they all glared at him and his Sissy with smiles that were hungry to kill them.

They were big. So, so much bigger than him. Bumi barely reached his head to their mid-thigh on his tip-toes.

He was small.

Too small.

Bumi wanted to cry. His eyes did, too. They were hot and sting-y, and tears made his picture of the bad guys all blurry.

He couldn’t cry. He made a vow with Uncle Sokka not to cry unless he deserved it.

Kya was crying because she was hurt.

He had gotten them into this mess. He had no right to free himself of the sea-prune-sized sob choking him.

Bumi bared his teeth. His voice broke, but he didn’t let his tears fall.

“S-Stay away! I-I—‘M w-wa’rn’ yous!”

Kya held onto him tighter like she was deluded by his voice into some feeling of reassurance.

“Or what? You gonna throw dirt at us?”

“Daddy’s not here to save you, brat.”

Bumi swallowed. He would have been sick if he had eaten lunch.

One of the bad guys had his knife. He reached to grab one of them, and Bumi used the last of his strength to move in front of him and puff out his chest.

He still didn’t cry.

The wall adjacent exploded in a shower of earth.

The howling boom and hiss of all elements clashing were terrifying enough to bring more tears to Bumi’s eyes yet familiar enough to keep him from crying.

Bumi threw himself over his little sister. Kya held him so tight it hurt. Dirt and rocks hit his back, and heat threatened to blister his skin even through his clothes. His Sissy screamed, and it sounded like she was calling for Mama.

He held Kya tight. He closed his eyes even tighter.

He didn’t open them even when Daddy, out of breath and smelling of ash and earth, slid to his knees before them and herded his whimpering, shivering children into the protective circle of his arms with soft coos and gentle assurances.

Bumi knew it was him; he heard the smile in his voice.

Daddy’s shadow swallowed them both like a too-big cloak. He patted them down from head to toe, muttering to himself between kisses to their faces and dozens of jumbled concerns before relaxing, a mountain leaving his shoulders as he sagged over them. He smiled like he might cry—Bumi felt it from where Daddy pressed his trembling lips against his cheek.

Daddy rubbed their backs and kissed their foreheads as he gently, but urgently, pressed between their shoulders to encourage them to his chest. Bumi and Kya were too filled with panicked goo to move on their own, otherwise.

Daddy crouched closer, as unmoving and safe as an iron shield but inviting like his smile would blind anyone who would do them harm. He curled deeper on his knees and bent around so he had to look up at them. He made himself small, like them, and he was smiling that smile that drove instinct to herd themselves into his arms.

Bumi still hadn’t opened his eyes, though. He heard the smile in Daddy’s voice. It was safe.

Bumi clutched his father’s robes, and he breathed again. Daddy was safe. His scent and his voice and his touch wrapped them in a bubble that unwound their grip on each other and massaged away the primal fear that had them flinching wherever he had first touched them. Now they leaned into him like they were trapped in a frozen shell and his hands were torches. Even the air around Daddy bled comfort into them; it was as potent as the sleepy-shots Mama used to help people feel better.

Bumi and Kya latched onto him like they were built to be there, and Daddy cradled them like he was made to hold them.

Bumi melted against his chest like he was sinking into warm water. Daddy’s arms were stronger than the ones that had hurt his Sissy.

Daddy was bigger than the bad guys.

He was stronger and braver, too.

He was their hero.

Bumi fisted Daddy’s robes so tightly that his hands shook and his fingers tingle. Beside him, Kya shook even harder and hiccuped little sounds that made his chest hurt and his arms itch to hug her.

Bumi still hadn’t opened his eyes. He didn’t want to open them and be in front of the bad guys again. He didn’t want to open them and suddenly be out of Daddy’s arms.

He held his father tight. Daddy held him even tighter.

Bumi didn’t open his eyes even when he smelled fresh air and heard the sounds of outside again. He tasted metal, sharp and cold, before he heard Auntie Toph. She was yelling so many no-no words that it made him cringe, and metal clanked as dozens of police-people ran by and around them.

Uncle Sokka yelled his relief and then an alert, and Mama’s voice was far away and then in his ear before Bumi took his next breath.

Her warmth hit his back and wrapped around him in a force heavier and tighter than an iron net. Mama hugged Daddy and pressed Bumi and Kya between them so snugly that all Bumi knew in that moment was his Mama, his Daddy, his Sissy, and the warm-fuzzy feeling that bubbled under his skin and felt like home.

He and Sissy grabbed tight handfuls of her dress. Mama grabbed them even tighter.

Her soft coos and million kisses lassoed his heart and broke it tame. Daddy rubbed his back and scratched his beard on his neck as he kissed his hair, Mama’s face, and Kya’s hair over and over again.

Daddy was big enough to hug them all. His voice was soft, even for him. It wound around Bumi like a warm breeze on a cold day.

Bumi kept his eyes closed. He tried to focus on Mama’s heartbeat. It was fast and light like Momo’s. Her face was wet when it pressed to his, and he tasted salt when he kissed her cheek on instinct.

Mama’s arms were comforting. Daddy’s arms were safe. Bumi wanted to have both of them again, like when Mama first appeared.

Kya whimpered. He got his wish.

He wished he hadn’t.

His Sissy was hurt.

Daddy’s arms were shaking when they held him again. His lap was warm as they rode Appa home.

Bumi’s eyes were still closed.

He only opened them when he tripped.

Mama tried to help him up, but Daddy lifted him to his feet before she could.

Bumi looked up and wished he hadn’t.

Mama was sad.

She looked hurt.

Sissy was in her arms—she looked a bit better, but she held her arm close to her chest and bit the inside of her cheek.

She was hurt, too.

Daddy’s hand was on his back and between his shoulders when Bumi could hear again.

“Katara, take Kya home.”

Bumi flinched. He’d never heard Daddy talk like that. His voice was hard and flat and forced like a piece of measured timber sawed out of the corpse of an ancient tree.

“Aang, sweetie, maybe right now isn’t—”

“Katara.” The hand on his back urged his shoulders to turn away from Mama. “Please. Take Kya home.” His voice lowered to something even more foreign. “I need to teach our son a lesson.”

His tone struck Bumi like a whip. Mama didn’t say anything. It was quiet for a while. Bumi wished he could see her, but he couldn’t think enough to even move his eyes off of the grass and setting sun that framed the ocean opposite the city.

The soft crunches as Mama walked away made the silence even heavier. The hand on his back didn’t move until she was far beyond the courtyard.

Bumi wished it wasn’t so quiet. His Daddy stood behind him, and the awareness of where he stood increased gravity ten-fold.

His father ground his teeth so hard that Bumi heard it, and he exhaled a breath that burned the air and poured smoke over the back of Bumi’s tongue.

The hand left his back. Daddy walked ahead of him. His shoulders were raised like a bristling tigerdillo, and waves of heat leaking from him and rolled over and into Bumi like thick licks of lava.

Daddy clenched his jaw and didn’t look at him.

The Avatar was mad.

“Bumi.”

His spoken name wound around him and tugged him along like a leash. The sky was pinker now, bordering on purple. Daddy’s face was bordering on red.

Bumi swallowed, but his throat wouldn’t move. The wind whipped around them and bent the tall grasses in an amber-green wave. It was cold. He hugged himself, wishing for his parents’ arms again.

The wind blew harder as they neared the cliff. Bumi slowed down. He had to lean into the wind. He had to fight it.

Daddy was unmovable even when a violent gust hit them. He didn’t even break his stride. Bumi had to crouch to keep from being blown over.

He looked up. Daddy was so much bigger than he was.

Bumi’s chest rang hollow, and something cold blossomed from his stomach and crawled into his chest like creeping fingers of ice. It curled around his heart in an unforgiving fist.

His limbs ached, filled with frozen webs. Even his breath came out cold from his closing airway.

His Daddy was a hero.

Bumi couldn’t protect his own Sissy.

“Bumi.”

Bumi flinched. He hugged himself tighter and walked towards his father, who was sitting facing the ocean with his arms and legs crossed.

Bumi swallowed. His throat burned. He crept around Daddy, passing through his shadow, to curl up beside him. The few inches between them yawned like a few oceans.

He hugged his knees and tried to think he was bigger than he was, but he had to tilt his head all the way vertical to see his father.

Daddy was tense like a loaded bow and drawn to his full sitting-height like he was ready to jump up into a fight. His arms were still crossed, but his face wasn’t bordering on red anymore. The sky had settled on a navy velvet, and Daddy’s eyes looked up instead of at him.

But then he looked down.

And Bumi wished he hadn’t.

He wished his father would have kept looking at the sky.

He wished his father would have stayed angry at him.

Because the laughter and warmth in Daddy’s eyes were muted by something sad and caged behind something upset. A frown had moved in where his smile should be—where it always was.

The hot coal in Bumi’s throat made his eyes wet, and it threatened to sear a hole in his neck.

“Bumi, I am very disappointed in you.”

His words were arrows, and Bumi hugged his legs so hard that the bony bits of his knees hurt his chest.

“I know…”

“You could have been killed.” Daddy got louder, and his words bellied something like he was choking on a hot coal, too. “You deliberately disobeyed me. And what’s worse, you put Kya in danger.”

Bumi’s tummy flipped. The night had swallowed up the day, and his father’s shadow blended into the inky night that covered Bumi and all that he saw and knew.

“I—I-I wa’...w-wa’ ju’t—” Bumi’s lip trembled, and he wiped his eyes in hurried swipes, rushing to speak his defense before Daddy yelled at him.

Daddy had never yelled before.

But Daddy had never been this angry before.

Bumi wanted to wake up already so he could sneak into Mama’s bed and fall asleep in his parents’ arms.

The Daddy beside him curled over, just a bit, making himself smaller. He waited for Bumi to catch his breath and his words; though the searing heat of his stare burned his head, his shoulders, and everywhere else he looked.

Bumi’s voice was little more than a gasp, a leak of air from a broken pipe.

“I-I was just trying to be brave like you.”

Daddy uncrossed his arms. He looked down at him in every sense and meaning of the words. He was so much bigger than Bumi. His eyes looked down at him as distant and as powerful as the stars beyond him.

“I’m only brave when I have to be. Bumi...” Daddy sighed, and he suddenly looked like he had been beaten to within an inch of his life and slapped into manacles heavier than mountains. Bumi looked away. Daddy’s eyes were still upset and sad, and the gentle bass that leaked into his voice—the deep sound that cooed him after bad dreams and whispered their inside jokes behind Mama’s back—as he said his name nearly made Bumi break his warrior-vow to Uncle Sokka to never to cry unless he deserved to. “...Bumi, being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble.”

Bumi looked up and couldn’t look away. Daddy’s eyes had locked onto his own and held him like a too-tight hug.

Bumi couldn’t curl up anymore, either. His knees were bruising his chest.

He wished so badly to crawl into his father’s arms.

“B-But you’re not scared of anything.”

Daddy hesitated. Bumi didn’t notice that the wind had long since died until his father’s voice became quiet. It was hardly above a whisper.

“...I was today.”

Bumi hesitated, too. He looked at his father, who had curled over a bit more and made himself a bit smaller. Their eyes were almost on the same level. The tension in Daddy’s shoulders unwound into an almost relaxed position, and Bumi would have thought they were just sitting there and talking like they always did if not for the lack of smile on Daddy’s face.

“You...You were?”

Bumi’s voice cracked, and the small break of his words shattered the cage holding Daddy’s eyes prisoner. They were clear grey and rippled with a thousand unspoken words.

Bumi almost cried for him.

“Yes.” His father bent down some more. The hand Bumi hadn’t realized had been wrapping behind him gently curled around his shoulders. His father kissed his hair. He held there for a few seconds while he rubbed his arm.

Bumi unwound and leaned into the touch on instinct; his father lifted him into his lap. He was small, but Daddy was big, and Bumi grinned and hugged his father’s light-y-blue-arrowed arms as they pulled him close to his chest. Daddy curled over him like he was trying to mold himself into armor around him.

His warm voice was soft and small, like Bumi, and rumbled like smooth stones against Bumi’s back when he spoke. “...I thought I might lose you.”

“Oh…I’m...’M sorry, Daddy...”

Bumi dared to glance at his father. Sunshine curled across Daddy’s face in a small grin that called Bumi’s lopsided one out to greet it. His Daddy smiled wider. Grey eyes softened to a wordless ‘I love you’. He touched his brow to his and held him even tighter.

Bumi’s squirmed like he was tickled. He fiddled with one of his father’s hands like it was taking the place of his habit of twisting his shirt. Their grins fed off of each other until they were both smiling stupidly. A giggle bubbled into Bumi’s next breath and shyly bled into his words. “I guess even Daddys get scared, huh?”

“Mhm.”

Bumi sank dramatically into his father’s robes and hugged tighter the arms that were curled around him like shields. “But ya know what?” he whispered, glancing about like he was hiding behind enemy lines.

Daddy looked around just as dramatically, matching Bumi’s theatrics step-for-step like he always did. (No one else ever did, and no one else ever could.) ��What?” he whispered back.

“I bet those bad guys were even scared-er.”

His father laughed, and color came back to Bumi’s world. The night felt less like a shadow and more like a blanket, especially when Daddy pulled him closer and smiled like playing with Bumi would be the only thing that would ever matter.

“That’s because nobody messes with your dad.” He laughed evilly. “C’mere, you.”

Daddy roughed his already roughed hair, but Bumi wiggled away. They were both on their feet, and the chase was on. His father’s laughter was loud and airy like happy thunder, and Bumi’s choppy giggles raced after him like sheets of rain.

The cold night became so bright with his Daddy’s smile and so warm with his father’s hugs that Bumi thought he might cry without breaking his warrior-vow to Uncle Sokka.

“Gotcha!”

And even though his Daddy was bigger—much bigger—Bumi somehow managed to catch him. He rolled him over with his little arms and sat on his shoulders like a lionbear over its kill.

They laughed some more. They laughed until it hurt to breathe, and they kept laughing until it ached to move their faces into anything but a smile.

Bumi hugged his father’s neck and smiled like accidents could never happen. He forgot why he was ever upset. There was no reason to be upset—to ever be upset.

He had his Daddy.

Bumi was small, but his Daddy was big.

And when Daddy was with him, Bumi didn’t feel small.

He felt big.

He felt bigger than the bad guys.

And besides, he had won! He had captured the Avatar and winded an airbender!

He couldn’t wait to tell Mama and Kya and everyone else this story.

“Hey, Daddy?”

Daddy caught his breath, and Bumi could hear his smile. “Mhm?”

Bumi plopped his head on his father’s and hugged around his chin. His beard scratched his hands in a familiar way. “We’re pals, right?”

Gentle thunder rumbled beneath him. “Right.”

“And we’ll always be together, right?”

His father hesitated again.

Daddy pushed up on his arms, making Bumi slide down his back. A gentle hand reached around and found the scruff of his coat, and Bumi, all-to-familiar with this maneuver of theirs, climbed around his father’s torso while Daddy sat cross-legged again. He curled his arms around his neck and tried to wind his legs around him even though they were too short to reach across his chest, let alone meet up behind his back. He was too small.

But Daddy held him close and held him up, all with one arm. His free hand rubbed his back with a few swirling scratches before hugging him close.

Bumi hugged him even closer. He pressed his face into his father’s neck and smiled into the robes that smelled like home and felt safer than a steel wall. Bumi heard his heart just like he’d heard Mama’s heartbeat earlier. Daddy’s was slower and harder, though. Like Appa’s.

“Bumi, let me tell you something that Gya—that my father once told me.” He nudged his head up. They both looked up at the sky. “Look at the stars. The bravest heroes of the past—like Mama’s mama and Uncle Zuko’s uncle—look down on us from those stars.”

“Really?” Bumi shifted his weight and held on tighter.

“Yes.”

Bumi looked at the shiny brave people. He liked the stars before. They were pretty.

Now he loved them. They were safe.

And they were always there.

They would always be there.

...But they were also so far away.

“So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those brave heroes will always be there to guide you…” Daddy held him tighter and gently rocked them.

Bumi’s eyes drooped. Daddy’s breaths were slow and strong and lifted him against his chest like the beats of large wings.

He smiled through his yawn.

Something sad moved into where the smile in Aang’s voice should be.

He kissed his son’s hair again.

“...and so will I.”

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Hope you enjoyed!:D

~~~~~EL FIN~~~~~

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waywardandwestward · 6 years ago

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Let Me Be Your Shelter

Chapter 4 (Updated)

Gally x OFC

Warning(s): Never enough editing, Not beta-read. Mild Swearing. Puberty talk. Jo experiences her “first” period.

When you lose someone, you try to remember the last time you saw them. And most of the time it’s a blurry memory, because at that time you had no idea it would be the last.“ - Hedonist Poet

A/N: Hello friends! Apologies for not posting last week. I got super busy with some family stuff. As always, I will reblog this post with the Masterlist Link about an hour or so after posting. Enjoy!

Day 19: Growing Pains

There are moments I remember better than others. In retrospective it seems a bit silly to dwell on something so small, but to my fourteen or so self, it was the worst thing that could have happened.

I snapped awake out of a nasty nightmare. I can't say what it was about, mostly because what I woke up to was far, far worse. Sweat covered my body, and a splintering pain surrounded the bottom of my stomach and all the way up my spine.

Using my left arm I pushed myself up into a sitting position while using my other hand to brush the sleep out of my eyes. This pain wasn't unfamiliar. I knew I had experienced it before.

I peered down at myself and my body shocked it self into full alert. Blood was soaking through my pants and seeping into the hammock.

The dizziness took over my consciousness like a hurricane bouncing around inside my head. My stomach churned in circles. Am I going to die? I thought for a moment, before understanding what was happening to me.

The only thing I could think of to do was separate myself from the others. After nearly falling out of my hammock, I made a run for it into the Deadheads. I took a quick look back to make sure I didn't wake up any of the boys. From what I could see they all looked sound asleep. I moved quickly through the dark forest and only stopped once I needed to catch my breath. My body collapsed hard against a tree. Inhale, Exhale, I reminded myself. Inhale, Exhale. The more I controlled my breathing pattern the more my stomach settled, but the cramps in my back were still unbearable.

"Jo?" Newt's soft voice broke through the night air in a loud whisper. "Are you alright?" His footsteps blended in with the cool breeze and the crickets chirping.

"I'm fine," I squeaked anxiously. I put my hand over my mouth realizing, I probably shouldn't have spoken.

"Jo, where-" he laid eyes on me and my cheeks immediately burned red. Without having looked at him yet I could already tell his eyes had been drawn to the blood on the back of my pants. I turned around to see that the low key, calm, collected Newt was gone. "What happened?" he asked, the panic crisp in his voice. "You're hurt. Come on, let's get you back to the others!"

"No!" I exclaimed a little too loudly. "I'm n-not-" I stuttered before lowering my voice. "I'm not hurt. I just... have my period."

"Your what?" he blinked.

"It happens once a month," I explained through a groan. "It's annoying and gross, and it makes you feel like crap."

If I hadn't been so embarrassed, the confused look on Newt's face would have made me laugh. "Are you sick?"

"No, Newt," I replied. "I'm not hurt, I'm not sick, I'm just a woman with her period," I said. "A woman with a particularly heavy flow, I guess."

"Oh," Newt was still not following. "W-Why?"

Why? Did he just ask me, "Why"? I thought. This was never a discussion I had ever pictured having to explain to anyone, let alone a teenage boy.

"So I can give birth, I guess."

Newts eyes grew wide.

"I'm not pregnant!" I corrected myself hoping to calm his fear. "It just means that I can get pregnant if I... well, you know..."

Newt's eyes grew even wider. "Oh," he said again, trying to keep himself from panicking more than he already was, and slightly pretending to understand what I was fully getting at. "So, how do you stop it from happening? And if this happens every month, why are you freaking out now?"

"Well," I sighed through the pain. "A: You don't. It stops on its own after a few days. Normally we wear some sort of protection to keep it from getting everywhere. And B: this is the first time it's happened. I mean, it's probably not the first time ever. I've probably had it before, I just don't remember. But I must have, if I know about it, right? How can I remember that? How can I remember what a period is, but I can't remember who my parents are?!"

"I... uh..."

"What am I gonna do?" I groaned again as another set of pins and needles went through my body, the back of my head bumping into the tree.

"There are some spare clothes in the supply shed," Newt suggested frantically. He pulled his jacket off. "Here, put this around your waist for now."

"Thanks," I said sincerely taking the jacket and tying it around my waist to hide the blood stain.

We walked side by side quietly over to the shed keeping a fair amount of distance between us. "You don't have to be embarrassed by it you know."

"I'm not," I replied quickly. Newt gave me a knowing glance. "Okay, maybe I am a little, but I'm not embarrassed to talk about it. I'll answer any questions you have. I just don't want the others all freaking out at once, like you did. I'd rather be able to explain it to them when I'm ready. And when I'm not covered in blood. That's the embarrassing part. I mean, you'd be embarrassed if you peed your pants, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so," he nodded.

Just outside the homestead there was a small shed, which was still a bit of a work in progress. The roof was missing, but everything else was intact.

The door creaked as Newt pulled it open.

The shed was just big enough that Newt and I could both fit inside. On the left was a pile of unused clothes. I dug through them to find something that might fit me, throwing anything that looked too big to the side. They were all male cut, and given my my small stature it was hard to find a pair of pants small enough. I had hoped that when more girls arrived that would change.

"Jo," Newt whispered. I pulled my hands out of the pile and turned to see that he was holding a small, rusted, metal box with a clasp on the front. "I thought this might help too. Alby and I found them in one of the crates when you came up. Truth be told we didn't know what they were." I took the box from him and undid the clasp to find a stack of sanitary pads inside. "It makes a lot more sense now."

I smiled at him gratefully. "You're a good guy, Newt. I'm glad you're the one that found me."

"Anytime," he said placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze.

I went back to the pile of clothes and finally found a pair of boxer shorts and the smallest pair of pants in the pile; old faded jeans that were slightly ripped over the left knee. "Um, Newt?" I spoke up. "Could you maybe wait outside."

"What?" he said and then noticed the clothes in my arms. "Oh, yeah, sorry," he awkwardly walked out of the shed shaking his head in stupidity.

After he closed the door behind him, I untied his jacket from my waist and I slipped off my pants, nearly falling over trying to get my shoe out of the pant leg.

"You know, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now," Newt said quietly from the other side of the door.

"Oh, yeah?" I asked as I switched my underwear with the new boxers and put on a sanitary pad.

"Yeah," he said. "Don't give up hope. We're going to get out of here. One day."

"That's gonna be a little hard considering, we're not aloud to leave." I pulled the pants over my hips, zipping them up and buttoning them. They fit almost perfectly with the exception of the length. As he continued to speak, I bent down, grunting a little through the cramps, to roll the bottoms up.

"We just need bigger numbers," he said. "The more of us there are, the stronger we'll be."

"That is true, I guess." I checked to make sure the bottoms were even and grabbed my stained clothes. Pushing the door open, I looked over at Newt, who was sitting in the grass, his back up against the shed. He looked back up at me, smiling slightly before standing up. "What am I gonna do about these old clothes?"

"We'll do what we always do when we need get rid of something," he said stepping back into the the shed for a second, only to pull out an old sack. "We'll throw it into the maze tomorrow morning. The Grievers will get it."

"The Grievers?" I raised an eyebrow.

"That's what I call the things out there," he shivered just thinking about them.

"Isn't that a little...gross?"

"Maybe," Newt shrugged. "But don't you think it would be better out there with them, then in here with us?

Thinking about the smell it could erupt, I chuckled and said "Very true." He handed me the bag and I stuffed my clothes inside it.

We made our way back to our hammocks in silence. I stopped at his first before heading to my own. "Goodnight, Newt," I whispered.

"Wait," he said pulling his old, fleece blanket off of his hammock. "Here, you can use this to cover the stain on the hammock for tonight. I saw it, when I went to go look for you. I'll see what I can do to get you a new hammock, tomorrow."

"Thank you," I said. "I really do owe you one."

"Jo, we're friends. You don't owe me anything."

#gally #tmr #gally x ofc #gally x reader #tmr gally #the maze runner #will poulter #tmr fanfic #my fanfic #lmbys update #my fanfiction #gally x jo

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talesfromacrip · 4 years ago

Text

more ehh thoughts (recent edition):

w o w

can’t even speak my damn mind anymore in this house I guess without getting the whole, ‘get out then if you don’t like it here. look for a section 8 place and blah, blahhhh’ speech.

the signature speech of my parents when I get on their ‘last nerves’..

all just for speaking my mind. lovely

all bc I said something in regards to something political my dad was talking about. then saying black lives matter after bc it was also apart of the conversation

(which is my opinion)

that word doesn’t sit well in my parents ears.. my dad to be specific apparently.

he then started saying I should just look for somewhere else to go and that if I say that again, something will happen. (not anything violent on me,but make me leave to somewhere else type of happen )

guess my parents (specifically my dad) wants me dead if he wants me to go out and find somewhere else to go. it’s not like, idk, i have a fucking immunocompromised system or anything like that ya know?? also.... during a fucking pandemic as well ?? helllloooo, old man?? i just don’t know anymore sometimes with my parents

caught me off guard a bit and hurt really fucking bad.. like, wow. if that’s how you feel, then let me go which you won’t and won’t admit.

used to it though which is silly to say, but I can’t do anything much about it even if i tried. so, I must deal for now anyway I can.

we settled our differences though which, I’m glad, but I hate that I was the first one to do it. shows how it is in my family at times

at least my mom and few friends are on my side. ridiculous to be treated like this for having a fucking opinion.

doesn’t help either to get teased about it. like I haven’t been most of my life already ya know, shit.

sick of this house sometimes. the people in it, I should say.. sigh

———

I feel like I’m not, as ‘feminine’ as a lady should be. adds to my existing body probsss

can’t put makeup on. can’t get my nails done. can’t use bath bombs. can’t use facial creams or certain acne products. can’t buy clothes I’d like to shape my body and whatnot.. it goes onnnn. I would like to do what a lady likes to feel/look her absolute best ya know.

I can’t though. trying?????which doesn’t really go anywhere much tbh

I have an unused makeup palette and lippies going to absolute waste in my drawer.

which, cost me gooood money bc gooood brand. treat myself.

to see it go to waste though,is heartbreaking...

I could be using it now during the pandemic,but I have no one to help me with it. I can’t do it myself with my fucked up arms/hands either so that’s a nope.

my mom won’t help me and I’ve asked. she has more important things to do than make me look like a little clowns spawn.

I have so many ideas and I can’t execute them as I’d like. never can and it hurts. maybe on a drawimg, but having it applied to your face is a much better experience. very relaxing as well,but to take off.. that’s a process

doesn’t help that I’m told I’d look better with it as well, which totally helps my self esteem ya know. "it suits your moon face and covers those acne bits.."

fucking hell.. like, let me be.

guess not though it seems :lllllll

I feel gross about my skin.. dry and flaky at times from my medication and bc my body is a lil ass. it’s fucking oily on occasions as well.. ughhh. a whole nightmare, in my opinion

small acne scars,pimples from an imbalanced body in miscellaneous spots and places where they shouldn’t be.. I hate it.

I cannot look at myself without wanting to scream sometimes. I just stare and flip through a plethora of thoughts until I’m sitting there watching myself cry

I can’t buy the right skin products without suffering a break out or some kind of allergic reaction either. that’s how ‘sensitive’ i am.. ughh and people think it’s sooo fucking easy to take care of your skin.

help me out then and do it for me instead of telling me when I’ve said why I couldn’t in the first place..

fucking shit

I use to do my nails and paint them different colors almost every other week or so when I was younger. that was when I could move them to a certain extent. now i just can’t much for that. maybe?but I don’t want to risk twisting my wrist again. which, oddly helped a bit, but I’m not risking it

can’t even paint my right hand without leaning into a terrible spine position bc of my curled in fingers. it’s "so easy" though.my big ass it is

so, I just leave them bare nowadays

I have chipped and or broken nails anyway from fidgeting and anxiety. so, that’ll get in the way when they’re colored

sigh

bath bombs are the most elegant form of hygienic self care. a bubbly concoction for your skin to dip in.. ughhhh. sounds so relaxing and funnn

can’t sit in a fucking tub though to enjoy it and I don’t have the walk in ones. just a plain walk in shower. every time I see someone post about them, I melt inside. so pretty with the glitter fragments and the colorsss...mm

how I wish I could endure a porcelain tub to soak and forget about the world for a moment.

I can dream, but that still hurts as well.

I used to wear slim fitting tops for my stomach bc I was one of the chubby ones ya know.

now, I want to use them more bc my body doesn’t look how I thought it would be at my age. due to medication and lack of movement, just made it worse and it’s not my fault. feels like it is though and I tried. still am and it’s been hard lately with the pandemic. massive buying spells again so, some healthy goods are not available.

apparently though it seems nowadays being ‘thicc’ is in when years before it was absolutely frowned upon.

I got teased for being ‘thicc’ and now I’m somewhat getting praised for it?? kinda weird circus did I buy tickets for? unless I didn’t??

like, what do y’all mean, now it’s in????? stop being such a rude wad of shit and quit playing with people like this.

I don’t know what to accept much anymore and it’s bothers me so damn much

even if you do get praised,you must meet the standards. with some that is, I should say. must be at least some sort of skinny. some sort of, shaped being that I don’t really want to explain bc I feel it’s obvious.

some disabled folks are almost never in this section and when so, seems very fetishized.

hopefully this paints a small picture or whatever size you prefer your canvas to be. I’ve already talked about my body and more like this just gets me upset

———

uggh why are people still making stupid party plans, going to crowded places and doing other irresponsible shit... during a fucking pandemic?? It’s literally s o fucking irritating.

these people do not grasp this it seems, but ooooooohhh. gotta go out and risk it for someone who doesn’t even care about my health,others and even themselves.

fucking dumb

funny to see them complain about being home and all bc of this. like, how do you think I’ve felt and countless other disabled folks like me? sucks h u h. no freedom to go anywhere for risk of a fucking accident or worse, d e a t h.

it’s easy as hell to stay home and keep yourself occupied but apparently it’s a big ass deal

read, write, draw, cook, c l e a n. go out in your, idk, backyard as your outside relief?? is it really that b a d of a need to go somewhere??

especially when eventually it’ll drain you and you’ll eventually go back h o m e anyway ??t’s ridiculous.

"you should be thankful you can even go out."

yeah, to appointments, groceries, and concerts o n l y.

I don’t have the fucking privilege to go out at my own leisure and when I do, I have to plan like a mf.

it’s not easy. can’t drive. van is always busting on us. parents are my only source of a ride. can’t even generally go out anywhere bc of stupid stairs and all that.

I swear. every time I see a friend, mutual or family put something like that.. irritates me. I wanna comment so bad,but I don’t want to start anymore drama.

maybe soon I will. who fucking knows

———

i miss shows and all, but I just don’t as much.

I’m paranoid to think of going to future ones now..

I’ve already missed a majority of concerts my whole childhood and teen years due to my disability.

I don’t want to miss out on my young adult life now that I’m somewhat in a ‘better state’ bc some of y’all don’t want to be cautious and follow rules.

shows are therapeutic for me, but idk anymore now if it’s makimg me like this

disabled folks like myself who enjoy these shows are in so much fucking danger, it’s ridiculous.

we already were anyways with moshing and all.. which I know some act like they don’t know.

y’all are so desperate to go like, what about the other fandom folks who can’t even attend these shows though?? sad

these lives performances some artists have been doing are perfect and we need to support them more with this format. encourage the fuck out of them like the do to us with their music and whatnot.

I was so fucking thankful DGD did one.

it was a great time, but not so great when everyone is like, but what about an ‘actual show’?

it’s just, never enough with some of the fans I swear. irritating

yeahhh ,lets risk the fuckin band/bands getting sick so they can play for us. yasssss. shows how much they read up on the members and care about their health/wellbeing.

———

being sober brings back a lot of suppressed memories. nights are bit hard when going through this

makes me remember quite a bit of conversations that others have probably or most likely have forgotten by now as well

irritating and sad. that’s how I get some of my dreams as well which cause lack of sleep at timessss y a y

———

I, over share too much at times it seems.. how the hell do people want to know me though????

if I’m making the situation, odd or whatever, fucking tell me instead of ignoring it and trying to move on with some stupid shit

if I can fucking sit through y’alls oversharing.. can with fucking mine

———

I hate how everything that’s so wholesome and genuine I see, I can barely even do and say..

I especially hate how I imagine it with someone who deserves better. this is wearing me out I swear to fucking god

I put some of my eggs in the wrong basket.. again

ohhh fucking boooyyy

least it’s a good basket..

———

sometimes I feel so uneducated when taking with friends. my mind is like a fucking mad libs book on new game plus.

it’s blanks out and replaces important vocabulary with some silly childish shit instead

#therapy journal #uhhh

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years ago

Text

Ep. 6: “I hate this slow death” - Pedro

Pedro A

im ready for revenge

Ryan

Everything about that tribal was... not great. I am not a fan of my new tribe, Amy betrayed me and Alan's mullet is starting to annoy me lmao. Might have to go with the hanuha peeps

Najwah

I was looking forward to a tribe swap because I was on the outs of my last tribe but this is literally my worst nightmare. We are outnumbered. So automatically if we went to tribal either James or I would be voted out. Also, the ONE person on my old tribe that I've never spoken to. James. I have zero relationship with him at all. In fact, I don't trust him at all. So this is going to be difficult. Best I can do is get to know the other people. Awesome plus is that two other members are from other parts of the world too so I can talk to people during day hours. Haha. Urgh hopefully we win our next challenge and the ones after that. James isn't really a good team player. He's very technical and I suspect he has the jewelery box. So yeah, let's se how this goes. I only have one goal right now and that is to make it to merge. That's it. Pedro A

i honestly will tell all the alliences kalle has..if we lose the challenge

Alan B

I lost all my friends in the swap!!! Im so scared

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOoHPa38woQ&feature=youtu.be

James Hayden

Ryan messaged Naj and I saying he and Amy had a falling out, but reconnected with her and is iffy about Alan. Based on old Maola’s round 5 tribal, it appears that Alan is on the outs. Amy messaged Naj saying that she’s happy someone from Africa is also on the tribe. If Naj can pull in Amy and I can pull Ryan then we have a 4-1 over Alan. But I don’t know if that’s the best move. If we vote Alan out, then Palena consists of 2 original Hanuha and 2 original Maola. If we go back to tribal, then we probably deadlock and I’m NOT letting a challenge decide my fate in this game. If we bring in Alan, then we have their vote the three of us can vote out Amy and Ryan, have the numbers on the tribe, and go into the merge three strong. I can offer Alan a spot in F6 w/ Jess or they can be voted out pre-merge because it seems that Ryan, and maybe Amy, are willing to vote them out. In the words of Rory Freeman," I think I found my little crack.” I just need to talk to Naj and see what she thinks about this.

Ryan

I’m bitter as hell. I really wanna make my teammates regret not getting rid of me over John

Zack M

oop- i should have confessed earlier but like i decided to drink and watch the strangers with my roommates because we don't have a challenge tomorrow. love a night off. but i remembered just now so let me try to recap what happened today..... WE SWITCHED TRIBES. thank god i stepped up as the hanuha (i never know if i'm spelling that correctly and i'm too lazy to check) leader. yes, i volunteered but let's be honest i was the leader regardless. maddison from the other tribe and i did a school yard pick for new tribes. i was really hoping that maddison was going to be available because najwah was hardcore online stalking the other tribe and found out she is a big katy perry fan. i happened to have met katy at a party and she took my phone to take a photo of us. i was totally going to lie and say she was one of my artists and i would get maddison a personalized signed record of her upcoming album if she kept me safe. soooooooooooo if maddison sticks around keep an eye out for that move. putting it in my back pocket for now. no one is safe with me. lol. anyways, this couldn't have worked out better for me. i got ben and cody which are each my final 2 but also we're in a final 3 together. what? i know! i needed this good luck. i feel bad because i don't have sarah and james but i couldn't get everyone from my top 5 alliance. i also feel bad because i had a really great conversation with najwah today and i absolutely love her. however, she was ready to work with new people so i hope she finds peace with the new tribe she is on. i also hope she works with james and doesn't fuck him over so we can all be reunited at the merge. praying for you james because i know she is ready to switch it up. i chose pedro and kalle from the other tribes for specific reasons. pedro beat me at the flag challenge. i felt like this would give us common ground to create a relationship. i also chose kalle because she was the one that ben was talking to last night when we struck a deal with the immunity challenge. RELATIONSHIPS. i'm playing a very social game so i want to make sure i'm in everyone's head. side note: can i say how happy i am that john was voted off tonight. i know he wasn't on my tribe but that bio / the way he acted last night when i was trying to strike a deal was so cocky. he would have been my #1 target if we moved into this round with him. like i was debating getting him on my team and purposefully losing to vote him out and get the numbers up for my original tribe. kind of bummed when i didn't see his name on the list. sorry dude ... but not really. easier for me. things at the new hanuha are weird. obviously ben, cody, and i are close. as far as i know none of us have messaged the others individually and none of them have messaged us. again, cody is a wild card. i love him but i just do not trust that kid. hopefully everyone is telling the truth. i want to reach out to pedro but i don't want to come off too strong yet. not making the same mistakes as you john. my goal this entire time (well since i decided this was a legit game and i would stick around) was just to make it to the merge and now i see the finish line. i don't know if i'm going to have the ability to stay after. i'm a huge threat. let's be honest. i don't know the other tribe but if they are playing the quiet game that i think they are then i'm the last person in this game SO FAR who has made big moves and gotten away with it. i think it is obvious to everyone. pedro even mentioned neil tonight which was HELLA strange. like did neil reach out to him? were they close before? WTF IS NEILS REACH?! this is why i will not allow another pisces in this game. if they have the numbers at the merge and they don't vote me out then they are really playing the worst game possible. im READY to really play and i'm sooooooo ready to stop playing a game for the tribe and start playing the game for me. HERE FOR SOLO IMMUNITY CHALLENGES. i've shown that i'm a comp beast ... once i understand the rules. but our tribe has been quiet tonight. i'm not sure what to do to spark conversation with the newbies. one day at a time. i would suggest throwing this challenge to get one of them out but ben is in school for tv / film and feels confident in his editing skills. i would like him to have a moment to shine and i would never take that away from him. i do have to say out of everyone i've met in this game so far that i appreciate ben the most. he is definitely stiff competition and if one person is going to beat me then he absolutely deserves it! everyone else i've met is floating in my opinion. that's all she wrote.

Pedro A

im honestly sooo doneeeeee.....first John......now im on the bottom.....im honestly so done....if the idol hunt doesnt work, ...idk what will happen

Pedro A

the 3 people that are in the tribe with me and kalle are inseparable...there is no cracks what so ever..lets just hope we win every challenge

Pedro A

honestly im just gonna try to be nº4 on this tribe...and hope we just lose once

Pedro A

guess what bitchessss.....my unlucky ass got nothing in the idol search....WE LOVE TO SEE IT..........honestly not suprised..luck hasnt been on my side...i hate this slow death

Pedro A

But if you close your eyes

Does it almost feel like Nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes Does it almost feel like You've been here before? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Pedro A

okay so im creating a graphic ..that explains the routes in the idol search...that me and kalle have done..so we can know where not to go. I also completed it with the info that john once told...rip john....lets hope we find something

Ryan

Ultimately, I am very sad hearing about what Alan is going through. But I am only slightly thankful for them making this decision, as it means I wouldn't have had to blindside Amy next time we go to tribal

Sarah

This new Maola tribe is like night and day difference compared to my old Hanuha tribe. This tribe is so quiet! I’m not used to not having over 100 unread messages in a day... Aimee and I are definitely down in numbers on this tribe and I get the feeling that the three former Maola tribe members are pretty tight so I am hoping we win this immunity! Ideally, if we did go to tribal I would want to work with Aimee and pull someone else in but if that won’t work then I could vote out Aimee since ya know she wrote my name down. But Aimee really is a great human and I would be down to work with her.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbm4Ei7thuo&feature=youtu.be

AMY A

Tribe swap! I was unfortunately put in the tribe of people no one chose and that bummed me out for a few hot seconds but I also realized that out of a tribe of five, there's three internationals and one gender non-conforming person so maybe its just that people just cannot relate with us as well as with Americans. That asiude, this tribe seems to be the right mix. I feel like this challenge was MADE for us cos we can totally milk the culture thing. If Najwah is able to put the videos together well, there is no way we wouldn't win outright. In the event of us losing, Alan has already suggested wanting to get out for mental health reasons so that would be an easy vote. All in all, I feel safe (knock on wood) for this round.

Ryan

I feel like I'm really settling into my groove in this new tribe. We really get on and we really all try our best (my last tribe did too but this one's just kinda special idk)

Zack M

i can't remember if i've confessed or not. i wish there was a way that i could read what i previously wrote. well i'm on a team with cody and ben with pedro and kalle from the other tribe. pedro is a little hard to read but i like him. kalle says he is hardcore searching for the idol though. she also shared that she believe grae and alan have the idol from the other tribe. so if they haven't used it by merge, they will be my #1 targets. i don't really have much to say. we made a video for the music video challenge. i sent a few notes to ben. hopefully he listens and corrects them because i don't know how tough the judges are going to be but there were definitely moments that could be cleaned up / better footage that could have been used. look it's hard for me to put my game in someone else's hands and that's what i feel like i'm doing right now. i wish i would have volunteered to edit but this is what he wanted to do so i'm going to respect that. i did get a reward because i was chosen as team leader. i was able to talk to past players who drafted me. i was honestly so stoked to chat with them and tell them what's been going on in my game. however, it seemed to be an inside joke reunion for them and i didn't really get anything out of it to be honest. it's like cool, you've sat on Skype for a crazy amount of time as well. love that for you. NOW HELP ME. but whatever. if i lose, they lose also. i guess i'll probably update again when i find out if we won the music video challenge or not. party.

Pedro A

Omg I hope we win this challenge.....I'm so scared...chilllleee..if we lose ..I already lost my one life lol

Ryan

We are not mad at Alan sending themself home. It'll be sad to see them gone, but it means I can get rid of them without having to worry about souring my relationships with old Maora

Olivia A

I feel really good about this new tribe and am really glad that we were able to keep 3/4 of my original alliance (Maddison, Grae, and me). Since we didn’t lose this challenge I think the 3 (and hopefully 4 if Kalle doesn’t get voted out) of us can stay strong to the merge and through the rest of the game. :)

Maddison

Tribe swap played out as well as I could have hoped. I hope my original alliance members stay strong and we can make the merge as a strong three.

Aimee

Oh! I am having so much fun with my new Maola tribe! I think we vibe really well together. 😘🌈💜

Zack M

WE WON. omg thank god. the other videos were cute. reality: all three videos were tragic in my opinion but i'm a perfectionist. it's a win i'll gladly take. the scores were all positive except from ellie. ellie is really not a fan of the music video challenge and it shows from the bio / scores. we were better than 6 7 8 and 9s. shout out to the person that gave us straight 10s. WHAT WE DESERVED. tribal has also happened. super sad to see that alan asked to leave the game. i do find it wild because kalle shared that she believed alan had the immunity idol. this gives james and najwah a chance to continue on though and i'm so happy for them! low key hope they lose again because i feel like it would be easier for them to convince one person to vote with them. idk. also, i just think james has the idol so i don't mind him taking a hit if he can come back from it. we are currently waiting on a new challenge. not excited. was ready for a night off! but LETS GO.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsBK4PSENrQ

Najwah

Soooo last time I did this I don't think I was aware, that the tribe swap was a school yard pick. Dunno can't remember. Tbh I am re-annoyed that when Jay asked who volunteers, I was busy typing, but Zack once again took it. Do I feel bad about not being chosen by Zack when he was decompressing with me for a whole half an hour before it all happened? He was venting and anxious. He probably had his reasons. Well done for choosing a videograoher on his team too. Does it feel weird being part of the leftovers? Sure. As a POC it's difficult not to see that the non white people, person who stutters and young guy were not chosen by the leaders. I'm not sure why Alan wasn't chosen, probably because they were the hosts sibling? But yes, the innate racism, ableism and ageism was definitely apparent. Personally, I think a randomizer should be used. And people would call this exaggeration or trying to play the victim/being salty but if you're a POC and have experienced this kind of thing for 30+ years, you just see things for what they are. Anyway, on the plus side being on a group of misfits means that no one has alliances. Everyone is just genuinely nice. Wow. What a breeze. I started bonding with James more. I like this tribe. I feel less stressed on this tribe. Perhaps it's that we are all on different timezones so we all talk at different times, which I like. Perhaps it's because there are way less people lol. Do I feel discouraged though? Yes. I don't think we will win immunity. We are all too out of sync.

Najwah

The music video challenge was fun. Not the best song choice tbh. I wanted to do Journeys don't stop believing because we were a bunch of misfits and I've been binge rewatching Glee again after Naya's death. Being a POC bi woman, that death affected me a lot last week. And Mr Shue is right. Journey is great. Anyway. I loved all the snippets and how much effort everyone put into the videos. It took me a long time. Like 8 hours to edit all of THAT, coz I did it in Vegas Pro instead of TikTok or a phone app like we should have done ugh why am I stupid. so I was sad when we didn't even place, but also Alan gifted me an immunity idol before they left and I was so overwhelmed I literally CRIED. I miss Cody. I miss Leanne. People I could actually talk to about these things lollll. I guess we just have to try our best to win tonight. Our team is so out of sync though I don't see that happening. But we will try our best I guess. Last time we won an immunity challenge I prayed to God that we win. I think i will do that again. I think God likes survivor.

Najwah

I need to make a disclaimer. I'm not unhappy about anything. I'm not salty about anything. I'm not upset or being complain-y. I'm just making observations. I am still really happy about this game, being able to play in it and being able to get to know people I wouldn't have crossed paths with in my wildest dreams.

#episodes

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paperhatsarefun · 7 years ago

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...I Need You...

Soft clicks were the only sounds surrounding the “evil” scientist. His hands were fidgeting with the mechanisms of a familiar box with many, many lethal devices inside.

There were little buttons to trigger each little mechanic, but Flug found that some of the springs weren’t stable enough to be tested, let alone the chemicals in one mechanism was much too intoxicating.

The chemicals Flug combined had been the cause of dizziness and almost... drunken side effects. He didn’t trust himself around it while the testing happens during the commercial...

He let out a sigh and tried configuring the mechanisms again. “Flug, get in here.”

Startled, he almost dropped the device. As he caught his breath, he stared hard at the small box with negativity. This would be used to kill someone.

He entered Black Hat’s office and held tight onto the device, hoping his boss wouldn’t chose the black button and let the gases fume the room. “S-Sir, Are we d-doing all the b-buttons?”

Black Hat stared at him as if he was a unicorn, “Of course, Flug.”

Flug bit his lip nervously, “C-Can I step o-outside when you p-push the black one?”

Black Hat narrowed his eyes at his scientist, “Excuse me?”

Flug flinched and shook his head, swallowing his pride for a second, “N-Nothing, sir....”

Black Hat blinked and looked away in thought before taking the device from Flug, “5.0.5. Begin.”

The bear nodded, sending Flug a questioning, worrying glance. Flug shook it off as the red blinker began on the camera. He stared at the camera and listened to BlackHat begin.

“Welcome, villains and viewers! My newest invention has come and you better buy it- OR ELSE!” Black Hat smirked, his tongue poking out from his sharp teeth slightly, “Dr. Flug will explain the device and each mechanism. We can discuss the prices after.”

“U-Um...” Flug started softly, walking into frame and taking the device from it’s little stand, “Th-this device is for t-trapping and helping euthanize your opponent. E-each button on the surface t-triggers a spring that trips a w-wire... and begins it’s options... Y-you can use them interchangeable to create your f-foe’s worst nightmare!”

Black nodded boringly, “Yes, yes. Let’s show them how to use it.”

Flug nodded slowly and pressed the red button, producing a ray from a little circle at the very top of the box. Just then, Demencia walked into frame and was zapped automatically. “The ray attacks any motion from your foe...” Flug explained, pushing the green button and so on.

However, as Flug went to put the device back on it’s stand, Black Hat pushed the black button. “You forgot one, Flug.” Black Hat smirked as he pushed it.

Flug flinched away, dropping the device on it’s stand as a black smokey gas formed from the circle, spreading around the room and surrounding 5.0.5. and the doctor. It had no affect on Black Hat, who simply watched the destruction with a grin.

Flug threw a gloved hand up to pinch his nose but the chemicals on his fingers still passed through his respiration system. 5.0.5. had fallen asleep not soon after, his eyes swirling about.

“Well, that’s it for now, ladies and gentleman! The prices are starting at 5 grand and there are only 100 in stock! Better buy some quickly before we run out.” Black Hat smirked, clicking the off button as Flug gagged on the smokey chemicals.

Flug fell to his knees, grabbing at his throat as the chemicals burned his lungs and throat. He sputtered out coughs every now and then as he struggled to breath deeply. His mind began going into the estimated haze.

Black Hat watched with a sadistic smile, “That’s a good one but it doesn’t work on heroes and villains, so you’ll have to make it stronger, Flug.”

Flug inhaled deeply and tried controlling his breathing as the burning subsided. “That w-was t-too much... c-carbon...”

Black Hat’s eyes widened as he watched his scientist rub at his throat sorely, his eyes downcast at the ground in worry for himself. This stuff didn’t harm 5.0.5. at all.

“Carbon?! Flug, why Carbon?!”

“I th-thought it would e-explode the p-person’s lungs....s-sir...”Flug answered, his throat dry and sore and begging for something cold.

“Well, we’ve tested that one now. Go fix it and return again.”

His breath was shakey and he felt like throwing up but he only coughed when the feeling came. In fact, he coughed up red onto the floor and his gloves. Black Hat was gone in a second and back with a glass of water and ice, placing it in front of Flug, “Drink.”

Flug nodded and greedily chugged the cold liquid. “As fun as it is watching you get injured, I can’t have you dying on me yet when my product isn’t finished...”

Flug sent his gaze to the ground again, knowing he was more of an item if anything. He simply nodded and excused himself to his lab, trying not to swallow the water too fast.

As he entered his lab, he placed the cup on his desk and looked at the lunch 5.0.5. brought him. He shook his head and moved it from his workplace before editing the blueprints. Not even twenty minutes later, Black Hat teleported in without a word.

Flug felt his mouth raw and sore once again and tried ignoring it to the best of his ability. He swished his tongue around his mouth and swallowed nervously as the clacking of shoes was suddenly present.

He fixed the solution, adding less Carbon and more of the other elements to make things explode when it got wet. He made sure to add enough to make the explosion enormous enough to blow up a being of over 200 pounds with thicker flesh than a human.

“Is it ready yet, Flug? We have less than an hour.”

“F-for the auction?” Flug asked, glancing partially at his boss.

“Yes, we will have to test it in front of everyone there as well. Might want to perfect it, Flug. And find someone in the crowd or something to test it on this time.”

Flug slowly shook his head, “Y-You mean ch-choose someone f-for death, s-sir? I c-can’t do th-that...”

“Are you disobeying my command?”

“N-No, s-sir...” Flug muttered under hs breath, glancing away to finish his work on the product.

“Good. Keep it that way, Doctor.”

As he finished it, he decided he’d have Demencia test it out. Therefore, when they approached the stage, Demencia was chained by her hands to the stage floor with a frown on her face.

her arms were crossed as she sat cross-legged on the floor. “Why am I chained here?! Why can’t it be 5.0.5. or something?!” She angrily groaned.

““Do it for Black Hat, Demencia. He’ll be happy.”

Her eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically, “Really? Really really?”

Flug nodded, feeling bad for manipulating her but going against his instincts. The crowd began forming so Flug decided to join Black Hat near the front, the device on it’s usual stand between them.

“Hello, every villain. Welcome to the auction of our first product for the week, hopefully our top seller as well.” He sent a grin to the other monstrous beings that slightly frightened Flug as much as BH.

Flug sent a fearful glance around the crowd, a few of them winked at the scientist while others glared or snarled or smiled. He sighed and smiled as Black Hat continued, “This is my scientist, Dr. Flug. This device is called the Lethal-Proctor. It will euthanize and help you get rid of those pesky heroes and maybe even humans once and for all! Maybe help you achieve world domination if you’re ever clever and strong enough.”

Flug shuddered at the mention of world domination. His device being used for that, sheesh... He’d be all over the news and known then, everyone would be trying to kidnap him. Something he most definitely did not want. At all.

“My scientist here will explain the device.” Black Hat smiled at the crowd then sent a smirk to Flug.

Flug flinched and nodded, “Ahem... U-Uh... This d-device is composed of multiple t-traps and lethal d-destructive mechanisms. Such as lasers, r-rays, shock nets, l-lethal smoke, and more. Th-this blue button here-” Flug pressed the least lethal button and points the circle of the box at Demencia with an apologietic gaze, “-will s-send out a shock net th-that will cause h-humans to go unconscious and w-weaken heroes.”

Demencia flinched as the net came in contact with her head and shoulders, wrapping around her whole body and wrapping her up before sending multiple levels of different shock charges through her nerves. It fried her will to move for ten seconds at minimum, leaving her breathless but exhilarated on the floor of the stage.

Flug chuckled softly to himself, it worked first try! He nodded softly before pressing the green button, “Th-this one is a ray th-that sends out flames in i-it’s path.”

A large combustion of bright blue and red flames engulfed the net and Demencia, burning the net into ash and causing burn marks to form on her skin. Black Hat caught in, “These marks on this demon’s body helps to show just how hot the flames are.”

Flug nodded softly and showcased three more buttons before placing the device on the stand, hoping his boss wouldn’t try and press the black button while he stared at the crowd to see if any of the evil villains had questions.

There was one, “Yes?”

“How much is the scientist?”

Black Hat stared at the boy in unfamiliar shock, “What?”

“How much is Dr. Flug? I’m sure I can buy him with the much I got.” The male smirked and sent a wink to the scientist.

Flug blushed beneath his bag and stepped back slightly as Demencia giggled behind him. “Look, nerd boy, someone actually likes you out there!”

Black Hat snarled, “He’s not for sale.”

“You won’t even take 20 grand for him?” The man frowned, “I’ll give you 50...”

“He isn’t for sale!”

“I’ll take him for 100 grand!” Another man in the crowd spoke up.

A female grinned with sharp teeth and spoke louder than the others, “I’ll buy him for 10 million!”

Black Hat’s eyes brightened and he seemed to consider the offer, 10 million could buy him multiple scientists and materials. The crowd silenced itself as Black Hat held a finger to his chin and glanced to his scientist.

He noticed how the scientist had his eyes trained on the floor, wet and moist as if he were going to cry. His hands were crossed in front of him and he stepped back again in uneasiness.

“He is not for sale. The device is.” Black Hat spoke out, glared at the crowd, “Take it or leave it. There are now 200 new ones in stock and 100 of the commercial prototypes in stock. The prototypes are 5 grand, the new ones are 10 grand.”

Flug stared at the tall demon with immense joy, he wouldn’t be sold off thankfully and he didn’t have to deal with unfamiliar people or other villains that COULD BE worst than Black Hat.

As the auction went on, multiple prototypes had been sold out of the few 100, but almost all the new ones were sold. With only a sixteenth of the new stock left over and a fourth of the old prototypes left, the villainous crew headed back home.

“S-sir...?” Flug tried to manage out in a mumble but the words barely left his lips.

Black Hat didn’t seem to hear him but Flug didn’t try again, instead he just said, “Thank you..” and moved on.

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