#these two weren't on my first oc list
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catlvrmax · 8 months ago
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LOST IN THE PADDOCK.
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MV1 X FEM!READER
summary getting lost in the paddock and bumping into the current world champion was definitely not on your bingo card.
cw amara is the only oc, no use of y/n. this is my first time writing rpf since middle school, so bear with me. ALSO, this is a work of fiction: i don't know these people irl, i don't know how they act. NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.
face claims girls on pinterest but you can obviously disregard them, and imagine whoever you want.
masterlist | taglist
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"Ah, fuck," you mumble to yourself, panickedly walking away from the direction you came from while also looking for your best friend.
You call her name a few times in hopes of her popping her head out of the Ferrari building's corner but to no avail. The group and guides you had been with are nowhere to be found, and you have to avoid bumping into employees wearing the entire rainbow as they hurry around you.
You curse the moment you decided to enter the giveaway for those tickets. Although you weren't a Formula One fan, simply because you never fully listened to Amara's ramblings and analysis, when you stumbled across a giveaway of otherwise very expensive tickets, you didn't hesitate to enter it. Despite entering for her, you kept it a secret. The list of entries was long, and the odds were not in your favour, so you didn't want to get her hopes up. You couldn't contain the bubbling excitement when you got the e-mail verifying your win for two Paddock Club tickets for the Spanish Grand Prix.
After announcing it to your obsessed-with-cars best friend, you decided to make it a five-day trip, planning to sightsee Barcelona before the race weekend and spend a free day after it. The first day had been great, albeit tiring, but you had woken up the next day buzzing with anticipation to walk around the paddock. You were the assigned photographer, as you knew Amara would want to listen to everything the guide said. You were content with taking pictures of the place and her. 
Until now. You were definitely not happy with being the camera guy. Because of that, you'd just lost your group in the middle of God-knows-where, with no idea where the building you came from was. So immersed in your grumbling and reading the map on your phone- you collide with someone. Your phone and water bottle slip from your fingers, and the tote bag slips from your shoulder to your elbow. You hiss at the sudden weight shift.
The smell of rich cologne enters your nostrils, but you don't dare look up. Your cheeks burn. "Sorry." You bend down to grab your things.
The man seems to have the same idea, as seconds later, he's on his knees and gathering his things before you can reach them. "No, it's alright! I wasn't looking where I was going."
He extends his full hands with a smile, and you return a sheepish one before grabbing your things. You take a second to look at him. He wears a Red Bull cap and T-shirt, looking like everyone who hurriedly passed you with papers and phones in their hands. I should ask him for directions. He looks like he knows the place.
"Uh...Is there any way you saw a group of people with guides walking around here? I'm supposed to be with them, but I kinda lost them." You lift the camera, further explaining why you're separated from them.
He can't help but chuckle at your flushed cheeks. "Unfortunately, no," he pauses. "Are you here for the weekend?" You nod. "Haven't they given you a map, then? They usually do, to avoid people getting lost."
You show him your phone. Your fingers brush as he pulls it closer to look at the map. "Yeah, they have. But I can't figure it out. Kind of my first time coming to something like this."
He looks at you briefly before returning his gaze to the phone. "Really?" He sounds surprised. He shouldn't.
You looked out of place compared to the rich-as-fuck members of your group. You had no idea how people dressed for these occasions. Even Amara didn't really know what to pack, so you both agreed to wear comfortable clothes. With the race being during June and in Spain, you would rather be comfortable than sweaty. The only thing tying you to the group was the Paddock Club pass you wore around your neck.
"My best friend is really into this. Loves the sport. I won us the tickets, but I'm barely grasping the basics." You laugh, and he joins. You like the way his eyes crease when he smiles wide.
"Oh, you're the ones that won the tickets! Someone told me about that, I think. Congrats!" You thank him. "How's your weekend so far?"
You shrug. "T'was really fun. Until I got lost while taking pictures of the Ferrari building." He snorts.
Leaning next to him, you try to follow his finger as he scrolls around the zoomed-in map. "You figured it out yet?" 
"I think I have, yeah." He shows you the phone. "We're here. The garages are right there. You'll be watching the race on the floor above them." You nod, slowly grasping your surroundings. Turns out it's easier to figure it out when you're not panicking and a handsome stranger is helping you. "You got it?"
You flash a bright smile. "Yeah, actually, I think I do!" You look at him. "Thank you!"
He shrugs. "No problem. I know it's easy to get lost, especially with so many people running around."
"Still. Thank you. You probably have to be somewhere, and I took up a lot of your time." You step back, turning in the direction he'd shown you.
"Don't worry about it." He fixes his hair under the cap.
"Thanks again." You wave and turn to leave.
"Hey, I forgot to ask you." You turn, confused. "What team are you supporting tomorrow?"
Oh, shit.
It's like a deer caught in headlights situation. You suddenly forget all ten names of the racing teams, desperately racking your brain for an answer. You swear you know all ten.
"Uh..." you nervously clench and unclench your water bottle. "Ferrari?" It's more of a question rather than a statement.
He laughs, and your cheeks return to their warm state. Bad answer?
"Ferrari?" He asks as if saying really? You shrug, and he huffs a laugh.
"I told you I'm not good at this!" 
You hear a shout and simultaneously turn to see a man in a Red Bull shirt beckoning him over. 
"I have to go. But you should watch out for the Red Bulls. I hear they got the better cars!" He winks and waves before walking away from you.
You roll your eyes and smile wide on your lips. Of course, he'd tell you to cheer for his team. The back of your hand touches your cheek. It's incredibly warm. You blame it on the hot weather.
"I'm telling you, mate! She had no idea who I was!" 
Lando rolls his eyes. "And I'm telling you there's no way. Your face is plastered everywhere."
It's Charles's turn to roll his eyes. "Or maybe she was more worried about finding a way back than asking for pictures."
"Yeah, maybe she was being polite. Didn't want to attract any attention to you." Albon adds.
Max shrugs. "I don't know."
"Was she pretty?" Oscar elbows Lando's ribs, as the latter can't contain his giggle.
Max's neck flushes. He shrugs again. "Yeah, I guess."
"Ohhhhh!" George and Lando pat him on the back teasingly, and Charles laughs at Max's expression.
Before they can tease him about this mystery girl more, a woman wearing a headset informs them they have to part ways and get ready for qualifying.
"And Fernando was so bloody nice, too! He was more than happy to sign the cap for you!" Amara waved her hands excitedly as she recounted everything you missed while lost.
You sat near the windows overlooking the pits, watching as the teams got their cars ready for qualifying, far away from the TVs and the crowded tables, not wanting to converse with anyone but your best friend. You chewed on your extremely expensive pasta, intently listening to her meet-up with some of the drivers. 
"I can't believe you met the only driver I know," you whined, lips pouting sadly.
"I swear I didn't realise you were gone until they stopped us to greet the drivers. I was fully into that tyre explanation the guide was giving."
"Gee, thanks." You smile, giving her the middle finger.
"Oh, you know I don't mean it like that. Without you, I wouldn't even be doing the stuff we did today." Amara pulls on your middle finger, and you both giggle.
"So, tell me what you did when you were alone," she urges, sipping her drink.
"You mean when you left me wandering like I was looking for my mother?" She gives you a pointed look. You shrug. "I stopped a Red Bull guy to give me directions. He was helpful and cute. Also took some pictures while I was making my way back here."
"Oh, was he a mechanic or what?"
"I don't know. Didn't catch his name." You smile as you recount his advice. "He told me to look out for the Red Bulls because they have fast cars."
"Well, he's not wrong."
You finish your food and drinks, chatting until qualifying is about to begin. You sit on the balcony, watching the cars drive on the track. You get settled, watching the small screen in front of you, commentary loud in the headset you wear. Qualifying goes by quickly, with Amara explaining things you don't understand and you nodding along.
It's no surprise—in Amara's words—that Max Verstappen came first in his Red Bull. He's the one dominating this season, after all. Second comes Carlos Sainz, and third place takes Lando Norris. Your best friend cheers a little more for him. You shoot her a look, and she just shrugs. "What? He's fast, and he's handsome." You laugh.
You decide to leave before others, not stick around for post-qualifying interviews. Although there's a great chance you can catch drivers, take pictures and get them to sign autographs, you're both far too exhausted to stay. There's always tomorrow, Amara says, and you agree.
You're looking through the Uber app to find a car available to take you back to your hotel when you hear Amara all but screech beside you. You look up, watching as she runs towards a wall decorated with a gigantic poster of three drivers. You recognise Lewis Hamilton and Charles Leclerc and...Oh, shit.
"Can you take a picture here," she calls your name pleadingly.
Your eyes are wide and glued to the tall poster, even as you pull the camera up to your face. You snap a couple of pictures before Amara walks back to you. Her wide smile falters as she watches you stare at the poster intensely. You rack your brain for his name and know that you should know it. Amara has mentioned it before, but you just can't put your finger on it. He's in Red Bull, so it's either Checo Perez or—
"Is that Verstappen?" You point to him.
"Yep. Two-time world champion." Amara looks at the poster and then back at you, eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you looking at him like that?"
"He's the guy from earlier."
"What?!"
yourusername
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liked by amaraiscool, yourmom, and 167 others.
tagged amaraiscool
yourusername chatted with a guy today, turns out he's the current world champion.
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amaraiscool i can't believe you met max verstappen
> yourusername amaraiscool i cant believe you let me get lost
amaraiscool and i can't believe you didnt recognise him.
> yourusername amaraiscool hes cuter in person, too bad you didn't get to see him :))
yourfriend1 THE DRESS IS SO CUTE, AMARA WTF DROP THE STORE!!!!!!
liked by yourusername
yourfriend2 johns freaking out rn lol
> yourusername yourfriend2 AW, i bet hes not being as dramatic as amaraiscool was when i told her :,)
> amaraiscool yourusername met THE max verstappen.
"You should totally text him," Amara says between bites.
She offers you a piece of chocolate, and you offer her a bewildered look. The hotel room's TV is playing a random spanish show, but with no subtitles, you can barely grasp what they're saying. Amara is scrolling on TikTok beside you.
"Text who?" You already know who.
"The two-time world champion. Duh." She rolls her eyes.
Amara hadn't stopped talking about the Max interaction since you'd pointed at his gigantic poster. The more she spoke on it, wiggling her eyebrows, the more you blushed. She had gone over a thousand scenarios, all of which you ended up hooking up with him. You had to remind her that despite his popularity, he was a stranger to you. 
"I don't have his number, 'mara. I told you he just helped me find my way."
She flicks your forehead. "That's what Insta is for!" 
"No."
"But why!?" Amara whines in your ear loudly, like a child when you take their candy away.
"It's weird! He's cute and all," you sit up, pointing your finger up," but he doesn't know my name," you put another one up, "he'll think I'm creepy," you point a third one, "and that is if he sees the requested message."
"Uh, you're ruining my scenario-building process."
"That's what Tumblr is for. Leave my quiet, boring life out of this." You dramatically sigh.
"Isn't that how all fanfiction starts? Boring and quiet life turned upside down?" Amara tilts her head.
"I don't know, 'ave never read any." You shrug, lips pursing.
She huffs a laugh, and you hold in yours. "Liar."
There's a pause. You think over Amara's suggestion. Max Verstappen is cute. And it wouldn't hurt to try and get his number. You'd never see him again after this weekend. And the worst he could say is: "Security, please get her out of here!" 
What the fuck am I thinking? He's a literal superstar. Me bumping into him was a one-time thing. 
Ah, fuck it. It's not the end of the world.
"You know what?" Amara turns to look at you. "If I get the chance tomorrow, I'll talk to him. Try and get his number."
Her eyes almost pop out of their sockets. "What?"
"I mean, I'm never seeing again? Right? It could go either way. He doesn't call for security to escort me like I'm crazy fangirl, or he does, and we pray no cameras recorded the moment."
Amara shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant, but she can barely hold her wide smile. "Sounds like a plan to me."
"Not much of a plan. I'm just indulging in your delusions."
You share a laugh before you fall back in bed beside her. You shuffle closer to your best friend's side, eager to watch the TikTok edit she is staring intensely at.
"Oh, look, it's your future boyfriend!" 
"Shut up."
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bangtanshelves · 8 months ago
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JJK Fanfic Recos
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Hi. These are some of the fanfics I've read.
I've read A LOT but I'll only be including the ones I really enjoyed reading.
I'm in the process of recollecting them, please bare with me.
I'm also updating this post often, so whenever I end finishing a fic I like I just post it here. hehe
💓 - Fluff ❤‍🩹 - angst 🥵 - smut 🚨 - violence/drugs 🤪 - crack ⭐ - fav 🎣 - latest addition to the list
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚. SERIES ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.
My Love is Here - @/solemnreads
Completed ✅ ⭐
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹 (so much angst, I love it), 🥵 summary: "You didn’t mean for it to happen. It’s not like you purposely woke up one day and thought “Hey I’m going to fall in love with my best friend!” No, that is not at all what happened."
Knife's Edge - @/readyplayerhobi
Completed ✅
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵, 🚨 The Jeon Clan is Family, built on blood and loyalty. It’s been an unspoken fact that one day you will marry the heir to the Clan, Jeon Jungkook. You would be a fool to deny that you love him, but what happens when you meet a blue haired man who offers you a chance at normality?
Four Seven Eight - @/jiminrings
Completed ✅ ⭐
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹 (fic made me cry) ,🥵 you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you.alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
Close to you - @/muniimyg
Completed ✅ ⭐
genre: 💓, 🤪 It should've been easier than this, right?In which oc and Jungkook sleep together and he can't get over it.
Falling Skies - @/fortunexkookie
Completed ✅ ⭐
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jeon Jiyeon was your childhood best friend; her brother, Jungkook, was something else entirely. Once upon a time, she had called you her sun and him her moon; it was fitting, given the constant push-and-pull between you two. You used to consider him a friend, but then he had gone from endearingly frustrating dumb boy to card-carrying fuckboy so fast it had given you whiplash.
Please Love Me - @/ahunderedtimesover
Completed ✅ ⭐
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 As the only unmarried Jeon and Kim children, your families propose a union to symbolize your unbreakable bond that spans generations. But despite developing an affection for Jungkook growing up, he never returned it; he never seemed to like you, actually. You’re okay with the proposal, but surprise surprise, he isn’t.
Lowkey - @/xpeachesncream
Completed ✅ ⭐
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹, 🥵 In order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, Jeon Jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the way of dating.
Hotter Than Hell - @/chateautae
Completed ✅ ⭐
Genre: ❤‍🩹, 🥵 Jungkook, Lucifer and king of hell, has been cast out of the crimson underworld for a reason he's unsure of. Embarking on his journey for the answers should've been easy, if it weren't for you, the human that nurses his wounded body in her home, and accidentally witnesses the truth of his identity. Kickstarting a hellish adventure with the devil himself, you discover Lucifer is the most infuriating company ever; and Jungkook finds out that maybe his answer to returning home lies within his annoying human confidant.
An Ode to a Broken Heart - @/smoochkooks
Ongoing... ✍
Genre: ❤‍🩹 (bro I've been crying over this fic for days), 🥵 (future smut)  you’ve watched jeon jungkook slip out of your reach your entire life. now it’s time for you to finally move on, bury the past and open a new chapter. however, you’re doing it in your own, unconventional way - by publishing anonymously a novel about your miserable relationship.
Mutual Help - @/personasintro
Ongoing... ✍ (this is also posted on AO3)
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 (damn... that's all i can say)  in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
Way Back Home - @/solemnreads
Ongoing... ✍
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹 (please i really love angsty fics, fite me), 🥵
"Please tell me this isn't what I think it is" he asks you with tears in his eyes. You look down at the sight of your son with an oxygen mask on his face while your daughter is sleeping on the couch near the wall. You look into his eyes, broken, and sad. You've dreamt of this day for years, wondering how he would react. But here you are, hoping he could've meet the twins under different circumstances. "Yes... they're your children."
Strawberry Kisses - @/pixieknj
Ongoing... ✍
Genre: ❤‍🩹, 🥵 (Chapter 1 has been posted, but its something else) Jungkook is notoriously known as a f^ckboy who doesn’t eat p^ssy, until he finally gets alone with you…
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚. ONE-SHOTS or TWO-SHOTS ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.
The Right Choice - @/honeytae
Genre: 💓 for as long as you've known Jungkook, you would think that you're witnessed all sides of him. But when you notice the way he's looking at you right now, you think you may be wrong about that.
Rainy Days - @/rklve
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Your life choices left not only yours, but Jungkook's hear broken in pieces. Now you're back in town, and just like Pluto, even if its cold and dark he tends to orbit around his sun forever.
High Demand - @/bunnyhugs77
Genre: 💓, 🥵, 🚨 A modern day Romeo and Juliet
SOJU - @/hoseoksluna
Genre: ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jungkook gives you all that he has—his feelings, his dominance and his cum.
Lost & Found - @/kooktrash
Genre: ❤‍🩹 (if you squint), 🥵 your college years have never been something you dwelled on for too long. you didn’t want to think of all the chances you lost and that’s why when the guy you had a crush on moves back to town, you try not to let it affect you again. but then he brings up old memories that didn’t go the way you thought they had and you’re thrown for a loop. you’re stuck between finding something new with him and falling back into old habits of never standing up for yourself. it probably doesn’t help that he dated your best friend, where everything seemed to go wrong.
Bottle Up Old Love - @/wintaerbaer
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
Pink Sapphire - @/jiminrings ⭐
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹(please I'm a sucker for this) ,🥵 Having Jungkook as a husband is great as far as arranged marriages could go; he's easy to love. Your relationship's perhaps become so easy that Jungkook doesn't think sometimes— and that's what makes it the easiest for you to hate him.
Will it fit? - @/jeonsweetpea
Genre: 💓, 🥵, 🤪, ❤‍🩹 (just a little bit) So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can't exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom...
Break up with your Boyfriend - @/spideyjimin
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jungkook, the campus fuckboy, has decided to make you his next victim, but you're far from being like any of his previous hookups. You're not single. You're actually in a very long-term relationship with Baekhyun, the man you consider the love of you life, but it's for sure something that won't stop Jungkook. He wants you, and he's going to do absolutely everything to have you, even falling in love.
Paint me naked - @/gimmethatagustd
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 After the mysteriously hot guy in your university class starts taking an interest in you, should you really trust that he's not like all the other college fuckboys? Especially when his best friend is the guy who broke your heart?
I hate you, I love you - @j/ungblue 🎣
Genre: ❤‍🩹,🥵 You hated him at seven, warmed up to him at twelve, and liked him at fifteen. Now the two of you are twenty years old and inseparable best friends... and you're absolutely in love with him; he's in love too—just not with you.
How to Get a Guy - @/taeshobipop 🎣
Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹, 🥵 Star basketball player Jeon Jungkook has a reputation as the ultimate fuckboi. He's loved by everyone. Everyone. And you would have followed suit if he had not broken all your strict Roommate Rules™ within the first week of his stay. Jungkook, on the other hand, thinks you're absolutely bizarre. But there's a silver lining— Mr. Fuckboi here knows basketball captain Min Yoongi, your dreadfully clueless crush. He strikes up a deal with you: he'll teach you the ways of flirting if you lessen your load of rules (so Jungook can continue persuing his way through the ladies on campus). Yet the longer Jungkook spends with you, the more he realizes that maybe he doesn't want to tbe the campus fuckboi anymore. The problem is, how does he prove that to you?
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liahaslosthermind · 2 months ago
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~ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒔 ~
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(Past) Rhysand x OC, (Eventual) Azriel x OC Part 2 of Betrayal
Summary: He was out of his mind with grief. Azriel had been through his fair share of trauma. He had seen and done horrific things, but that was always with Adelaide by his side. Now, he didn't know what to do, and he was losing it. Warnings: Suicidal thoughts and ideology, Death of a loved one, grief, Hurt/No Comfort
His limbs ached as he stood up from his chair. He had been sitting there so long that walking felt much harder than it usually did.
He rubbed the haze from his eyes while walking to the door, the incessant knocking making his headache worse.
"Fuck, Az. You look- how do you- do you want me to..." Cassian stood in front of his brother, a man he'd known for 500 years, and didn't recognize the person he saw.
It had been the first time in almost 2 months that Cassian's knocks were answered. He had come to her room, everyday, multiple times a day, to plead with his brother to talk to him, to eat something, to just let Cassian look at him so he could see he was alive.
Azriel said nothing as he turned around and went back to the chair he had been occupying. Cassian closed the door behind him as he took in the room.
It was the same as it had been the day she left. Even though this had been the place Azriel spent most of his days, the Shadowsinger had kept it all the same, only touching her bed that he would sleep in the nights he could stomach it, or the chair he was currently in now.
A mess of papers on the desk brought tears to Cassian's eyes. Adelaide, sweet and caring Adelaide, had been making a list of Solstice gifts for her family when she was called to join some of the Inner Circle on a meeting all those months ago. A meeting that had been a trap for them. A meeting that ended up taking her life.
Azriel cleared his throat when Cassian went to pick up a piece of paper. He had tried to hard to keep her room clean while also not disturbing things from the spot she had put them in.
"Nesta told me that her and Elaine have been leaving you food but it remains untouched."
"Is there a question, brother?" Azriel asked. His voice had always been rough, and he had always been more on the quiet side, but Cassian could tell that because of lack of use, it hurt him to speak.
"Why aren't you eating? How can we get you to? I would do anything, Az." he pleaded.
The spymaster didn't answer.
"Whats the end goal? Believe me, if you want 1,000 years to mourn her, I will be with you every step of the way. I've tried to give you space, but you are killing yourself! You sit in here all day, only coming out when everyone is asleep or gone. What do you need to care about your life again?"
He was met with a distracted look from Azriel.
His brother was never distracted. He was never careless. He hadn't missed a day of training for no reason in hundreds of years. Cassian knew he still trained every once in a while, but Azriel always found times to do it when no one else was around.
Azriel didn't have an answer for Cassian, at least not one he would like.
How could I care for my life when her's is over? he thought. By the desperate look on Cassian's face, he could tell his brother knew the answer.
"I lost her too. I know it was different with the two of you, you were each others'... person, but she was as much my sister as you are my brother. I didn't... I didn't even get to say goodbye." Cassian finally broke at the confession. He hadn't let himself think about it, he had to keep himself together for Azriel. "The last time I talked to her, we where fighting over food. She stole the slice of cake I had saved for myself, I called her an inconvenience and a burden, she called me a spoiled bat who needs to learn to share." He let out a bittersweet laugh at the memory. They were usually at each others' throats, and when they weren't, they were teamed up to annoy someone else in their family. But they loved each other, always were there for one another, except in the end, when it mattered most.
"24 hours later, I was picking out the sarcophagus my sister was going to be laid in. I would have let her have all of my leftovers, all of my desert, if it meant I just got one last conversation with her." Choking up, Cassian sank to the floor, a wave of familiar grief washing over him.
Azriel joined him, crying as he hugged his brother.
The two illyrians, sat like that for a while. Long after their tears had dried, long after the sun had gone down, Cassian finally spoke up.
"Why don't you go see her? Visiting helps me, talking to her even though I know she can't hear is something I do often."
In truth, Azriel hadn't gone to his best friend's mausoleum since the funeral. He couldn't see her like that, couldn't come to terms with it.
These past 6 months had been dark. Everyone was mourning her, many of the people of Velaris included, but none more than Azriel. Part of him had died, laid in the cold marble box that held her body. For the first few months, he had completely disconnected from reality. He went on with his daily routine, he trained, ate, went on missions, did paperwork, slept. But it was as it he was on autopilot, as if the real Azriel had been asleep that whole time.
Two months ago, he woke up. It was sudden, he had gone to his room for the first time in a while to grab some books that had been long overdo at the library, and the priestesses had kindly told him if they didn't get them back he would be banned for life.
Thats when he saw the blanket on the chair by his desk. She had given it to him over a century ago. It was a birthday present, a wool blanket that was enchanted to smell like her always. She had played it off as a self centered gift, so he doesn't forget about his favorite person while away on missions, in front of their friends, but Azriel knew it wasn't that. Adelaide had always been a master gift giver, and she also knew Azriel had trouble sleeping most nights, but he never had any problems falling asleep on the couch next to her after a long night of conversations, wrapped comfortably in her own wool blanket.
He hadn't slept without it till the night she died.
Then, he picked it up, trying to see if the enchantment still worked. And that was all it took for him to wake up. It was awful, every bad feeling he had been too far disassociated to feel hit him at once. He curled up on the floor with the blanket wrapped around his hands and stayed there for days, silent tears never ceasing to fall.
After getting yelled at by Madja, who Nesta had called to knock some sense into him, he got up and went to her room, where he remained most of his days.
He sat in the chair in the corner of the room, only eating to quiet his stomach, and tried as hard as he could to detach himself from the never ending agony that was his life now.
He told Cas he would see her, the general's face lighting up at the news.
He felt guilty, making Cassian so happy for something he knew would later destroy him.
Hours after Cassian had left the room, as the sun came up, Azriel went to his room to grab the blanket he hadn't touched in 2 months. Then he grabbed Truth Teller, wrote his final request, and went to see Adelaide.
The building was large, and beautifully constructed. He would have been happy that she had a resting place deserving of her, but he knew Rhysand only spent that much money and made it this beautiful to try and lighten the guilt he felt.
The Shadowsinger stopped by the entrance, the sarcophagus without a lid placed up on the platform.
Before the funeral, Helion had come to place a enchantment on her body that would keep it perfectly preserved.
It had been more of a final gift to Addie than a show of good will between the courts. Adelaide had been a foundling on the border of Day and Night. Helion took her in as his ward and she grew up with access to the best education and scholarly texts Prythian could offer. Rhysand later made her head of the Night Court's scholarly texts, education, and research. She spent more of her life in Night than Day, but she never went so long without seeing the man who gave her all she had.
She used to tell Azriel she would take him on vacation to Day to meet Helion. He of course had met the man before but they had been the Spymaster of Night and High Lord of Day, Addie wanted them to meet as 'two of the people she loved more than anyone'.
They never did get that vacation.
And as Azriel looked down at her, Helion's gift to her felt like a cruel punishment to him.
6 months later, she was still as beautiful as she was the last time he saw her, but she was still just as dead.
This was where he would remain, his final request was to be laid to rest in the same building. He would be adding unnecessary pain onto his loved ones who had suffered so much already, but for the first time in his life, Azriel had decided to put himself in front of his family.
Looking her over one last time, he realized he was now completely numb.
Azriel held the gifted blanket and went to take off the one she currently had. Based off the fact it seemed to have been picked out with meticulous care to match Adelaide's coloring, and her outfit, there was no doubt it had been placed their by Mor.
On her lap, previously being covered by the blanket, laid a large and very old book.
Had one of the scholars she worked with placed it? One of the educators?
Strange marks littered the cover, but no title. Not till he opened the first page did he see what it was.
The Walking Dead
A cruel pick. Who would ever leave such a book with a corpse?
The second page was blank, so was the third, so was the fourth. Thumbing through the book, Azriel just about gave up looking at the blank pages when he finally found one with writing.
It seemed to be a poem, but it was formatted too strangely.
The title at the top read Eternally Intertwined.
A spell.
He almost dropped the book at the realization.
No one had left this book, it had been fate that had given it to him, kept it here waiting for him to stumble upon it.
He knew what he needed to do.
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hwaslayer · 3 months ago
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vivrant thing (jwy) | one.
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—SPOTIFY PLAYLIST / SERIES MASTERLIST
—SUMMARY: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual. 
—PAIRING: jung wooyoung x f. reader
—GENRE: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend’s brother au | fluff, angst, eventual smut
—WORD COUNT: 6.7k
—CHAPTER WARNINGS: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, mentions of a small car accident due to texting & driving (pls do not ever do this), lots of sibling bickering (i promise they love each other ok), alcohol consumption and intoxication, mentions of toxic relationships (not oc), mentions of sickness and death in immediate family
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"Are you actually fucking kidding me?!" Jiwoo yells as she heads outside to meet her brother. "Wooyoung, you had one job!"
"And I got the job done, didn't I?" Wooyoung holds the grocery bag up. "Just got into a little accident, that's all." He points to the dent on the front of her car. 
"A little?! It's a huge dent! What did you do?! Mom!" Jiwoo yells as she heads back into the house. "I told you I didn't want Wooyoung driving my car!"
"Your car was already out in the driveway." Wooyoung adds, rolling his eyes as he leaves the grocery bag on the counter.
"Yeah, so ask me to move next time!"
"Stop yelling, your voice is giving me a headache. It's annoying."
"Mom! Dad!"
"Jiwoo, stop yelling." Their mom comes from out of the room, followed by their father. "You don't need to yell—"
"I do, because Wooyoung took my car and dented it!"
"What happened?" Their father asks, his hands on his hips.
"It was an accident—"
"You haven't even said sorry!"
"And I won't if you keep cutting me off and yelling." Wooyoung glares at her. "Yeah, fucking keep it up—"
"Hey!" Their father chimes in, cutting Wooyoung off. "The both of you, be quiet! I'm not going to ask again. What happened to your sister's car?"
"It was an accident." Jiwoo crosses her arms as Wooyoung repeats. "I just didn't brake in time so I gave the car in front of me a 'lil love tap."
"You were texting and driving, weren't you?"
"For the record, I responded to one text."
"Ugh." Jiwoo groans loudly. "I literally just got the car, Wooyoung!"
"Say sorry to your sister."
"Now, is that necessary? Cause I'll—"
"Jung Wooyoung." Their mother sternly calls for him, making Wooyoung let out a deep sigh.
"I'm sorry." He looks at Jiwoo.
"You make sure that car gets fixed, Wooyoung. And take care of the costs. Your sister needs her car."
"What am I supposed to drive in the meantime?! Wooyoung's car?" Jiwoo smirks at him.
"Hell no!" Wooyoung spits. "You'll probably try and crash it into a tree the first chance you get."
"You can drive our SUV until it gets fixed."
"No!" Jiwoo looks at Wooyoung. "Wooyoung can just drive me around."
"I have shit to do that isn't on your time. Take the SUV." Jiwoo groans and rolls her eyes, brushing past her brother to get ready for the party.
"You're unbelievable. Seriously, what kind of brother are you?"
"Enough! Can we finally get ready for the bbq, please? People are going to be over soon. Can't get one moment of peace in this house when you two are home." Their mom checks the time, walking off to the kitchen with a loud sigh. "I hope you got everything from the list, Wooyoung." She yells just as she's about to dig into the bag.
"Wooyoung."
"What?"
"Be a little nicer to your sister."
"She's the one always jumping to conclusions and getting all mad. I didn't purposely try to get her car wrecked. At least I'm fine and not hurt, right?" Wooyoung rolls his eyes.
"I know, and yes, thank god. But, still. All you two do is butt heads, jeez. Can't you both try and get along sometimes?" 
"Whatever." Wooyoung heads up to his room, already annoyed by the fact that he has to be here with his family all up on his case about the accident. He can admit, maybe he should've paid better attention on the road. But, it's the way none of them even asked if he was okay— Jiwoo constantly whining and yelling at him, his parents getting on his ass and backing her up. His little sister was definitely the favorite, being the top student and all. Golden child. Was in band and the church choir, never really rebelled. While Wooyoung skipped a class [or the whole day], talked back to his parents, stayed out late and just.. enjoyed having fun. He had his good days, but he also had his bad days. He wasn't necessarily cold, but he wasn't going to sugarcoat shit either.
He's a stark contrast to his little sister.
So, he shouldn't be surprised that his parents are taking her side. He shouldn't be surprised they'd come to her rescue first. He shouldn't be surprised at all. He can't wait to get the fuck up outta here when the bbq is over. He'll be out as soon as the morning hits, before any of them can wake up and pester him about anything else.
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You gather your hair back and secure it with a claw clip, running your cherry-flavored chapstick across your lips before pressing them together to spread it out. You check yourself in the mirror once more, not entirely crazy about your outfit for Jiwoo's family bbq today.
But, it'll do.
You had known Jiwoo since elementary school, meeting her in the 2nd grade when you sat for lunch alone and the boisterous girl joined you. She was the new girl, but she surely didn't act like it and you admired that about her. Since then, she never left your side despite your shy nature— not engaging in much in the conversation, only humming a few words or sounds in response when she ran through list of never-ending questions. 
Even though her and Wooyoung were 2 years apart and very different, you felt like they were alike in many ways [which they'd deny until the very end].
That's how Jiwoo became your bestfriend. Because throughout all of life's changes, through your losses, she was your constant. She stayed, never wavered. Was your biggest support system alongside of your grandpa. Without her, you're not sure where you'd be. You owe alot of the push you've done in life to her.
yeosang: i'm downstairs!
you: cooooool, be down in a sec
*yeosang liked your message*
You check your outfit in the mirror once more, smoothing down the fabric before spraying a bit of perfume on your wrists. You press them together and rub it down your neck, down your clothes— a simple yellow floral tube top, white distressed jeans and your tore up chucks. It seemed fitting for a summer bbq; not one to wear dresses, shorts or mini skirts like that.
"Yo." Yeosang quickly scans your outfit just as you plop into the passenger seat and greet him. "You look nice."
"Thank you." You smile. "And thanks for picking me up." He reciprocates the smile, waiting for you to buckle up before driving off to Jiwoo's parents' house. From your tiny studio, it's about 25 minutes of a drive. Yeosang doesn't have to take the highway or anything, but he does have to navigate through the busy streets of the city before reaching their neighborhood. Jiwoo's parents celebrate their birthdays a day apart from each other, but it fell during the work week this year. So, they decided to throw a bbq with family and close friends on the weekend in order to be with everyone.
"What'd you do today?"
"I just went to get some groceries and bought a little gift for Jiwoo's parents. What about you?"
"Uh yeah, I just got their gift right before I picked you up." Yeosang chuckles. "Otherwise, I slept in a bit too much and by the time I knew it, half of my day was gone." You laugh.
"Yeo." You laugh. "You should really try waking up early. It's nice to get the most out of your day."
"It is, but you know what's also nice? Being under my covers." You laugh and shake your head, eyes fixed on the view through your window. The rest of the ride is comfortably silent with Yeosang's music playing in the background, especially since it isn't much of a drive. He does chime in here and there when he's reminded of random things he has to do or thinks about. Besides that, Yeosang is good at leaving you to your peace. When he pulls up to the street, he's having to park across from the house— Jiwoo's family and their close family friends already filling the spaces nearby.
"Oh! Y/N, Yeosang!" Jiwoo's mom sees you first, pulling you both into a hug before gesturing towards the kitchen. "Jiwoo is in here!" You both greet her happy birthday before following her into the chaotic scene that is the kitchen, Wooyoung quickly brushing past with a huge bowl of marinated beef in his hands and almost bumping into Jiwoo as she holds a huge pitcher filled with juice in her own.
"Wooyoung, move!" Jiwoo nudges him away and he glares at her.
"Stop! You'll make me drop this."
"What about me, butterfingers?"
"What about me, butterfingers?" He mocks her with a look before rolling his eyes and heading out to the backyard to meet his dad by the grill.
"I swear to God." She groans, before finally shifting her attention to you and Yeosang.
"Hi." You smile at her and you expect her mood to be lifted, but she continues to pout.
"Y/N, Yeo. Finally. Get me out of here. Please, let's just slip through the front door, no one will notice."
"Where's Joong? He has to come on our escape plan, too." You playfully go along with it.
"He's not here yet." She sighs.
"What's wrong?" Yeosang asks with a small chuckle. You look at Jiwoo with a slight head tilt, reading into the frustration in her eyes.
"Today is just so messy." She whines a bit, setting the pitcher down onto the main dining table. "Wooyoung's dumbass used my car and got into a little accident earlier."
"Oh, is he okay?"
"Yeah, look at him! He's the fucking same. But, you know what isn't? My car! The bumper is all dented and everything. You didn't see it walking into the house?" She lets out another frustrated groan and shakes her head. "Whatever, anyway, he's gonna make sure it gets fixed. He better."
"Was it his fault?"
"Yes." She sighs. "Texting and driving. Like an idiot."
"It'll be fine, Jiwoo. It's unfortunate, but I'm glad he's okay. I'm sure your brother will make sure it gets fixed in time." You add.
"He's so frustrating sometimes. Can't trust him with anything." You both follow her out to the backyard that is already filled with familiar faces. 
"It's okay, it'll get fixed." You give her a small smile and squeeze her arm. "Let's just enjoy today, okay?" She gives you a small smile and throws her arm around you, bringing you over to one of the free couches near the back corner of the yard. Some of her family members are playing badminton on the other side of the backyard, while another cousin is playing music and has Wooyoung and his friends hovering around, conveniently close to the grill.
"Oh, Y/N. I wish I could be like you, sometimes. So much patience and grace. Things I need to be successfully related to Wooyoung."
"You have it. Just.. needs more practice." Yeosang responds, making you chuckle. You finally find her dad and greet him happy birthday before greeting the rest of her family members. You, Jiwoo and Yeosang hang around the backyard for a bit, talking about work and the upcoming summer party. You don't chime in much, nor do you want to being that it'll be your third year not attending. Luckily, at this point, Jiwoo's boyfriend, Hongjoong, walks into the backyard and starts greeting everyone before he plops himself right next to Jiwoo.
"Yo! Sorry I'm a little late." He looks at you and Yeosang. "Friends! I missed you, guys. It's nice to see your faces." You laugh.
"Hi Joong."
"Where were you? I was texting and calling you!" She pouts. "We had an escape plan ready."
"Escape plan?" Joong cocks a brow up.
"Yes, so I can get away from this mess named Wooyoung and cry to myself in peace." 
"Baby, I'm sorry. I was caught up with my dad, he needed help with a few errands. The car will get fixed, okay? Glad no one was badly hurt." You smile to yourself as he kisses her on the temple. Hongjoong is a really good guy. He's perfect for Jiwoo and has a lot of patience for her. He cares for her a lot, and it's so clear you wouldn't ever second guess his feelings for her. He's selfless and would do anything for his lady without question.
You wonder what it'd be like to experience genuine true love like that. You've been in a relationship before but you couldn't exactly say it was love. Not a genuine, raw form of love, not a deep connection. Just a relationship where you learned about your partner and they learned about you, but that was far as it went. You don't remember feeling like the relationship was special, or like it was meant for you. It was more so another experience, another lesson in your book.
How does it feel to be completely, utterly, disgustingly in love and smitten with someone?
"I'll be back, I'm gonna get a drink." You mutter mid-conversation, getting up from the seat to head back into the kitchen. To your surprise, Wooyoung is there, sorting through some of the drinks set out.
"Oh, hey." Wooyoung gives you a small smile while you silently wait for him to move away from the counter where all the drinks are sitting— soda, juice and hard alcohol bottles spread across the surface. "Want me to make you something to drink?"
"Um." You softly respond. "It's alright, I was just gonna grab some juice." You point at the pitcher.
"You sure? You aren't driving anyway, right?" He points to Yeosang who is now talking to one of their cousins near the wading pool. 
"Mmyeah, I came here with Yeo."
"Alright then." He smirks. "I'll make it pretty light, hm?"
"Okay." You smile sweetly at him. You've always had the sweetest smile and Wooyoung does enjoy seeing it, he won't lie. "Thank you, Wooyoung."
"Course." You twiddle with your fingers as you watch Wooyoung make a pretty concoction in a cocktail shaker, pouring in peach schnapps and cranberry juice with a dash of vodka. He transfers the drink into a fresh cup, handing it over with a smile on his face. "Wanna taste it before you go?" You sip on the drink, eyes lighting up at how good it tasted. You weren't exactly a fan of cocktails [or alcohol in general], though you wouldn't turn down a drink or two on some occasions.
"Mm, it's good!" He chuckles.
"Yeah? Kinda pulled the measurements out of my ass but I didn't put too much vodka."
"What're you doing?" Jiwoo walks into the kitchen.
"Listening to Y/N tell me how good my drink is." She looks at you with a brow cocked up.
"You don't have to lie to him." You giggle.
"It's actually good." You hand her your cup to taste the drink. She takes a good sip and nods in approval, shifting her attention to her brother.
"She wouldn't lie to me." Wooyoung winks at you.
"Can you make me one?"
"Nah. Bar's closed now. See what all that doubting does?" Wooyoung puts the lid back onto the vodka bottle before turning on his heel to walk away.
"You're a dick."
"Love you too." He says as he walks outside and returns to his bestfriend, San.
"You okay?" You ask her as she pours some juice into her cup.
"Yeah, I just came in here wondering why it was taking you so long to get juice." You laugh as you follow her back out into the backyard and to Yeosang and Hongjoong.
"Caught your bartending brother before he closed."
"Bartending brother?" Yeosang and Hongjoong both ask.
"Mm, Wooyoung made Y/N a drink and didn't even make me one." They laugh.
"Of course."
"Anyway, do you guys wanna sit at the wading pool? Dip our feet in and watch my family act a fool?"
"Sure. That sounds fun." Yeosang shrugs.
Throughout the rest of the bbq, you, Jiwoo, Hongjoong and Yeosang engage in a few other activities with her cousins besides hanging around the wading pool with her baby cousins— karaoke, some rounds of badminton, watching Jiwoo go head to head with her brother and older cousins in beer pong. From time to time, you catch Wooyoung looking over at you, giving off tiny smiles to be friendly. It isn't entirely uncommon, Wooyoung was always nice to you despite the distance. You don't talk much, but he doesn't necessarily treat you like a stranger especially after all these years.
It's a nice thing about him, their family— they're there for you.
They're there for you so much that Jiwoo comes up with the most incredible [in her terms] idea while she catches you cheering for Wooyoung during the very last round of beer pong against their cousins. It gets rowdier and rowdier, Wooyoung and his cousins yelling back and forth; their voices echoing into the sky. You try to sink behind Yeosang, jumping at the sudden cheers and random banging.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, it's just a little loud." You scrunch your nose, Yeosang throwing his arm around you to provide some kind of comfort during the round. When evening officially hits, the partying doesn't stop. If anything, it gets a little more rowdy with alcohol running through everyone's system. 
"Oh, fuck!" Wooyoung says, the beer tipping out of his cup when his cousin rams into him and spilling onto your jeans. 
"Jung Wooyoung!" You hear his mom yell while his dad laughs alongside of her, nudging her to let it go.
"Oh shit, Y/N. I'm so sorry." He looks at you before glaring at his cousin. "You dipshit, look at what you did!"
"Wooyoung!" Jiwoo yells, dabbing a napkin to the wet spot on your jeans.
"It's okay, Jiwoo—" You try to chime in, but your response gets drowned within the ruckus.
"It's Sebeom's fault, not mine! Why is everyone calling my name!"
"You both are idiots!" She groans, taking another napkin to your leg.
"The hell is the napkin gonna do, Jiwoo?" Wooyoung sets his cup down before gently grabbing your wrist. "Let's go dab some water on that." You silently follow behind, letting Wooyoung politely drag you into the kitchen. He's clearly drunk, fighting with the paper towel roll before he successfully peels off a few sheets and runs it under the water.
"Wooyoung, it's okay. I can always throw it in the wash."
"Still, it'll get sticky and smell like beer in the meantime." He says, crouching down and dabbing the wet towel to the spilled beer on your jeans. "I'm sorry, Y/N. You know how my family gets."
"It's alright." You watch as he pinches the edge of your jeans and tugs it outwards, widening the surface area as he continues to wipe away. 
"It might look worse at first, but the water will help." He clicks his teeth. "Did it get anywhere else on you?" 
"Just my left arm but it's fine—" He stands, albeit a bit wobbly at first, taking another end of the napkin to dab away at the small wet spots on your arm.
"Okay." He says, tossing the tissue away. "Better." He gives you a toothless smile. "Won't do it again."
"Thank you, Wooyoung. It's fine, it's not a big deal. Really."
"As long as I did a better job than Jiwoo." He says, leading you back out to the backyard.
"You made it worse!" Jiwoo yells.
"It gets worse before it gets better! Plus, the beer smell won't be lingering." Wooyoung scoffs. "At least Y/N is grateful for it." As soon as you've settled next to your friends, everyone begins to sing happy birthday to Wooyoung and Jiwoo's parents before digging in for more food and sharing the ginormous cake Jiwoo ordered from a mutual friend. Wooyoung brushes Jiwoo off to the side, determining that he has the best cake-cutting skills between the both of them.
"Here, Y/N. For you." Wooyoung hands you a hefty slice of cake, eyes still glazed over from the alcohol he had been drinking. You watch as he licks the icing from his thumb, shaking his head in ironic approval. "The cake is so good. Thank god Jiwoo got it right for once—"
"Wooyoung, shut up!" 
"Don't start again!" Their mom yells from the other end of the table, yet the two continue to bicker. You, Hongjoong and Yeosang stay out of it and eat away at the cake, continuing to mingle with their family members for the rest of the night until Yeosang feels his social battery dying.
"You ready? We could stay if you want, though." You shake your head.
"I'm good. Let's go say bye to Jiwoo and her parents." He nods. You find Jiwoo first, talking to one of her aunts off to the side. You squeeze her wrist as a signal that you and Yeo are getting ready to leave, her eyes widening. Bottom lip poking out. Whines ready to leave her lips.
"Nooo, you're leaving me? Please take me with you." You laugh and rub her back as you pull away from the hug.
"You'll see me tomorrow. I'll be expecting you to come over."
"First thing in the morning. Leave some room in your bed." Yeosang shakes his head and turns to Hongjoong to bid him farewell.
"Make sure you bring her girlfriend home safely." Hongjoong says seriously, patting Yeosang on the back. 
"Will do." He nods. You follow Yeosang out towards the front door, clinging onto his sleeve as you navigate the busy house. You almost slip out successfully until Wooyoung pauses in his steps, doing a double-take when he catches you on his way back to the backyard.
"You're leaving?" You nod, chuckling to yourself when you see him drunk-whining just like his sister. "It's early!" He whines a bit. "Were you not gonna say bye to me? I thought we were cool, Y/N."
"Bye Wooyoung." You wrap your arms around his waist as he pulls you into a rough, but tight bear hug. "Bye San." You wave at San, in which he responds with a tiny smile and wave.
"Drive safely!" He calls out before leaving. You finally get out of the house, Yeosang waiting for you by the front door. You're not even gonna lie, you are pretty exhausted already, and you're excited to get washed up to lay in bed and pick up your current read. Jiwoo's family was always fun, so lively and full of energy. They fit so well together, like they were all perfectly molded and crafted as one. They've become like your second family, and you wished you had your own you could be the same with. But, that also goes to say, their parties always leave you exhausted.
When Yeosang gets you home, you thank him for the ride and give him a hug once he's dropped you off at the door. You slowly waddle into the studio, a smile on your face when you see your bed, your nightlight— the smell of incense still lingering in the room. You quickly hop in the shower and get ready for bed, looking at the big, bright 10:27pm in white on your nightstand clock. You slip into bed, getting cozy under your sheets before grabbing your book. Jiwoo is texting you and Yeosang pictures from today, including ones of her cousins getting crazy during beer pong.
Today was fun. It's over, and it was fun.
Today is not over for Jiwoo, though.
A few of their family members linger around while Jiwoo and her mom continue to clean around the house. She orders her lazy ass brother to haul out the bags of trash to the garbage can and to clean up the remaining mess from the beer pong game out in the backyard. Once all of the cleaning as finished, Jiwoo rushes to the bathroom to beat her brother for a shower. She feels like she can finally relax, finally settle down, finally set her plan in motion—
"I need you to do me a favor." Jiwoo leans against the doorframe of Wooyoung's old room as he folds his clothes neatly into his duffle bag, grabbing a new pair of clothes to change into once he's showered.
"Depends." He mutters, not taking his eyes off of his bag.
"No, you at least owe me this." He scoffs.
"Nevermind, I need to shower. Come back to me in 3-5 business days—"
"You didn't even make me a drink earlier!
"Not my fault you doubted my bartending skills." He furrows his brows. "Plus, I already told you I was getting your car fixed."
"Great, then you can do one more favor for me." Wooyoung sighs as he turns to look at her.
"What, Jiwoo?"
"Can you be Y/N's date to our company's summer party?"
"What?" Wooyoung furrows his brows and lets out a pathetic chuckle. "You're kidding, right?"
"What's that supposed to mean? She's my bestfriend."
"Yeah, clearly. Why can't she find someone else to go with her? Like that guy you two are close with, Yeosang?"
"Um, that's weird." She furrows her brows. "That won't do. If she wanted to go with him, she would've done it a long time ago. You know her. She hasn't gone the past two years, I'm not gonna let her pass up on this one."
"So then go ask your man if he has a friend he can spare?"
"She's not gonna wanna go with any of his friends!"
"Too damn bad."
"You cleaned up her jeans like a saint earlier!" 
"Because it was the right thing to do! What does that even have to do with this?!"
"Wooyoung." She whines, almost stomping her foot. Wooyoung pauses to look back up at her.
"Even if I agreed, you do know how awkward this might be, right? Not only for me, but for her, too." Wooyoung shrugs. "I know she's been your bestfriend for years but we aren't exactly close like that. We're two very different people. We can't exactly spend a whole evening together. Alone."
"I'll be there with Hongjoong."
"That's what I said. We'd be alone." Jiwoo groans.
"She'd definitely be more comfortable with you than someone else!"
"Doubt that. She's quiet and shy. Very much the opposite of me?"
"Yeah, big ass mouth."
"That can be useful." He smirks, making Jiwoo wince in disgust.
"You're so disgusting, Wooyoung. Maybe I should take this back."
"You really think she'd play along with this?"
"Yes!" Wooyoung squints his eyes.
"You didn't even tell her about this plan, did you?"
"She'll go along with it. Please. I just want her to go and have fun for once."
"Hm." He hums, deep in thought. "Nah."
"Just one night!" Wooyoung sighs.
"No."
"Wooyoung!" She pouts.
"Jiwoo, seriously. Quit."
"You owe me! I've had your back so many times, and I've never asked you for anything else out of the ordinary." He looks at Jiwoo and he actually feels a bit bad about the car situation. And it's true, even though they don't always get along, Jiwoo has always had his back and covered for him when she didn't entirely need to. She's always had his back even when he didn't really deserve it. He subtly nibbles on the inside of his cheek, letting out a deep sigh before shaking his head.
"Whatever. Tell me the details." She squeals and he quickly turns. "And by the way, this is your idea. Not mine. I'm only doing you a favor so you can stop hounding me about the car. It's one night and that's it. If she gets mad, that's all on you."
"Fine. Consider your debt paid." She gives him a small smile. "Thank you."
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"What are you talking about, Jiwoo?"
"I want you to go to the party and have fun." She pouts a bit, brushing your hair away from your face. You furrow your brows at her, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.
"But, parties aren't really my thing." You shrug. "And besides, I don't really have anyone to go with. I hate to say it, but I don't wanna show up alone. Everyone has dates they can bring. You have Hongjoong." You look over Jiwoo's shoulder and catch Yeosang talking to his team members at the far end of the room. He catches you looking over, flashing you a small smile before returning his attention to his coworker.
Yeosang was great, no lie. He was a good guy, everyone could see that from miles away. He was smart, diligent, kind, and the biggest team player. He started at the same time as your cohort of new hires, Jiwoo starting a couple of months beforehand. When you saw him in person, you did find him attractive. He was at a good height and well-built, black flowy hair framing his chiseled face. At first, you thought Yeosang was just being nice to you. But, slowly, he'd accompany you to the break room for coffee breaks. Bring you coffee and pastries from another shop on random mornings. Occasional outings to lunch. Until finally, he'd accompany you to casual dinners where it felt a little too serious to be considered casual— you just didn't wanna dwell on it. Too shy to say anything or bring it up because your brain goes on overdrive and makes you think you're reading into this more than you should.
He was just your friend, being your friend. So you'd like to think.
You weren't really sure what you wanted out of this, but at this moment in time, you felt like Yeosang was good enough as that. If people found out you weren't entirely into him, they'd probably think you're crazy. And you probably are, but as much as you appreciate Yeosang's company and his kindness, you fear you'd be forcing yourself into something with him.
That's not what you think Yeosang deserves.
If anything were to develop, you'd like it to develop naturally. It hasn't yet, so maybe this was a sign that you two were actually better off as friends? You're not good at this whole dating thing, reading into signs and signals.
"I know you don't really wanna go with him either."
"It's not that. I just feel like it'd be awkward and I'd ruin our friendship. It'd feel way too forced for me."
"Y/N, you're gonna have to tell him sooner or later." You shake your head. "Then?"
"Then, I don't know. I just don't know about him. That's why I'm perfectly fine staying home and being away from all of that."
"What if my brother goes with you?" Your eyes widen.
"W-Wooyoung?" She nods. "No, Jiwoo. Is this what this is all about?"
"Look, don't get mad, okay? Just hear me out." You cross your arms as she lets out a breath. "I asked my brother to accompany you to the party and he agreed to go."
"What?!" You say a bit louder than expected. "Is it because he feels bad for me?"
"No! Shh!" Jiwoo furrows her brows at you. "I mean, he also owes me, but—" 
"Jiwoo, I'm not a charity case!" You harshly whisper.
"I know, I know! You aren't. I just really want you to go." Truthfully, if this were any other person or circumstance, you'd probably feel a little hurt [even with good intentions]. You'd certainly feel like a charity case, and you'd feel sorry for yourself; especially for having to be set up in this way.
But, you're surprisingly not all that hurt by it.
Again, you know Jiwoo has good intentions and she would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. She does have a point— you haven't really gone to any of the big summer parties. You didn't mind it, but now that you think about it, you feel like you can't hide forever. The feeling of missing out settles in the pit of your stomach, and it's awful.
You're probably the only person who ducks out on these things. You're the one to blame for choosing not to be involved and for shielding yourself away from people, any inconvenience, etc. Shielding yourself away from fun, happiness. Life doing its thing.
"Mm yeah." You look at her. "I'm not close to your bother like that, though." It's true despite how he can be in person. Although you and Jiwoo were glued to the hip growing up, Wooyoung had his own group of friends and didn't pay much attention to you and his little sister. You both knew the basics about each other, have gone on trips together, tagged along with Wooyoung when he was the only means of transportation for you and Jiwoo. Why would he be worried about you, anyway? You two were busy fangirling over B2K, young Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You and Sean Patrick Thomas in Save the Last Dance, screaming at the top of your lungs whenever your favorite songs came on and shopping for hours at the same mall almost every weekend.
Not exactly Wooyoung's cup of tea.
Wooyoung was always rough-housing with his friends or going on casual 'dates' with different girls, blasting his 90s music in his room [like Vivrant Thing by Q-Tip, it's his fave] that'd shake Jiwoo's walls and drive her crazy. He had a few relationships that always ended up crazy toxic and you've seen the girls crying over him on their doorstep or throwing shit at his window to grab his attention after days of no communication. Despite that, he's not entirely a bad brother. He did his best to support Jiwoo throughout all her milestones in life, never missing an important event or being there for her when she needed her brother more than anyone else. They bicker and fight. A lot. But, they'd be there for each other in a heartbeat if needed. No question.
"You are, enough! You know he's full of himself and gross." You give her a look.
"Okay, really? That's supposed to make this better?"
"Sorry, kidding. Just my defense mechanism as his sister." She crosses her arms and sighs. "But, Wooyoung isn't exactly a stranger. And knowing my brother, he'd lead the entire time. Just let him accompany you to the party and call it a night! At least you'll be there with me and we can have fun together."
"You're gonna be busy with Hongjoong." You slowly walk back to your desk.
"I'm not. At least not entirely." 
"Jiwoo." You look at her.
"I won't be too busy with him! I promise." Jiwoo looks at the date on your computer. "It's up to you, Wooyoung already agreed. But, today's the last day to RSVP."
"I feel bad, I told Yeosang I wasn't going."
"This isn't entirely how I'd go about things but hey, he'll see you with my brother. Maybe that'll initiate a talk, and you can tell him you don't want to ruin your friendship."
"Mm." You hum and pull up the email with the RSVP button, not really trying to think about the whole thing too deeply. "I don't have anything to wear."
"It's fine, we'll go shopping soon! We have some time before the party." She softly squeals as she watches you type away and send off your RSVP.
"Jiwoo, I don't know how to get ready for these things. I can't even do my hair and makeup properly."
"Babe. I will help you get this sorted out. Don't even worry. We're gonna have fun! It'll be good. I'm just happy you're finally coming." You give her a small smile.
"I hope it'll be good." Your bottom lip slightly pokes out. "Am I supposed to text your brother and thank him?"
"No. Don't worry about him."
"He's accompanying me to the party, of course—"
"Seriously, don't. It'll be fine. I promise."
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"Papa?" You gently open the door and walk in, setting your shoes aside.
"Is that my girl?" Your grandfather comes from around the kitchen, holding two small bowls of rice in his hand. "You made it in time for dinner!"
"I can never miss dinner with you." You giggle, stepping out of your shoes and placing your things down before taking your place at the table. "How was your day today, papa?"
"Good." He sits in front of you with a smile.
"Did you exercise like you promised?"
"Yes." He gives you a look, making you chuckle. Your grandfather was 77 years old and still active, still healthy as can be. When you moved out, you made him promise he'd continue his exercise regimen and that he'd continue to keep himself healthy with wholesome foods. Reading. Going out and exploring the town. After all these years, he's the only one who has taken care of you well— having lost your mom and dad at an early age due to illnesses, same thing with your grandma. Despite the adversity, your grandpa made sure to put you first even if he was hurting, if he was tired, if he was stressed. He never took that out on you. He never made you feel like you were a burden, or like there was love lacking under his roof.
It was time for you to do the same.
"Good." 
"How was the bbq?"
"Good! It was fun. Loud. Chaotic. Per usual at the Jung household." He laughs.
"Sounds like you had a good time." You nod. "How about work?"
"It was okay. It was pretty busy at first, but eventually settled." You avoid contact, digging into your rice when you grab a piece of samgyeopsal sitting in front of you. He watches you closely, seeing how you've gotten quieter in the last few minutes, signaling you were hiding something.
"Did else happen today that's making you watch the rice in your bowl?" You give off a tiny laugh and shake your head.
"Mm, well. Jiwoo convinced me to go to the summer party."
"You're going?" He smiles from ear to ear, happy to hear that you're finally going to enjoy yourself at the summer party you always avoided. He never forced you to do things outside of your comfort zone, but he did wish you'd go and enjoy yourself from time to time. Be happy. Have fun. "Good, I'm happy you're going! Is Jiwoo going with Hongjoong?"
"Mhm!"
"Then.." Papa looks at you with a small smirk. "Are you going with Yeosang?" You shake your head.
"N-no."
"No?" He looks at you, surprised. You've definitely talked to your grandfather about Yeosang and how you were feeling about everything. Even then, he was still surprised you weren't going together as friends.
"I'm going with Wooyoung."
"Jiwoo's brother?" You nod.
"Papa, it's kinda stupid. The way everything happened and how I ended up going."
"Nothing is stupid. Try me. How did you end up with Wooyoung as your date?"
"Well, now I'm gonna sound like a charity case."
"You are not." You give your grandpa a look before stuffing your face with more rice and pork.
"Wooyoung got into a little accident while using Jiwoo's car."
"Is he alright?" You nod.
"Yes, he's okay. Jiwoo is having him cover the car.. but also slipped in another favor." You shyly look up as you continue to nibble on your food, and your grandpa laughs.
"Ah, and that favor is the party, I'm assuming."
"Yeah. It's silly."
"It's not. She's coming from a good place and just wants you there. The whole car thing is unfortunate but for her, seems to be the right stroke of luck to get her bestfriend at the summer party." You giggle.
"I guess you could say that." You sigh. "I'm just worried about Yeosang. I told him I wasn't going and I'm not sure I will."
"You'll just show up with Wooyoung?" You shrug.
"I don't know how to do these things, Papa. I don't wanna hurt him, but I really can't see myself being his date or taking this further. I don't know what to say or how to say it yet."
"Eventually, you're gonna have to, you know that, right? For the sake of your friendship. He seems like a great guy, and I'm sure he'll understand whatever the case is, Y/N."
"I know." You shake your head. "I will. But, not now." Papa nods quietly before eating another spoonful.
"It'll turn out fine, okay? Don't worry about it too much."
"Thank you." You softly smile.
"Anyways, back to Wooyoung—" He pauses to eat some more. "It's not the most common way to find a date. But, weirdly, I'm glad it happened this way. I want you to go and have fun." You silently look at him. "Life doesn't slow down, you don't get any younger. Take the opportunities no matter how silly it may sound at first. Make more memories."
"I know. I'm just.. I feel awful that Wooyoung even has to go with me. He's probably going to have the worst time."
"Don't say that. He's going with you and the both of you will have fun. Let yourself have fun. Plus, it's Wooyoung. You know him. I'm sure he'll do what he can to make sure you are comfortable."
"I guess so."
"Enjoy, and have fun. Don't worry about anything, promise me that?"
"I'll try."
"That's all I can ask for." Because all he wanted was to see you happy. Genuinely happy in your own skin. Enjoying yourself. Having fun. 
All he wanted was to see you smile over life again.
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—PERMANENT TAGLIST: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @heyitsmetonid
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lilghostiequinni · 5 months ago
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Sides
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Main Masterlist Max Masterlist
Pairing: Hamilton!female reader x Max Verstappen
Warnings: Fluffy at the end, Sad, Mean Lewis
Summary: Your boyfriend and brother have a standing rivalry, but what happens when your forced to choose
Requested: NO / yes
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You watch as your older brother cuts in front of your boyfriend in the last 5 laps of the race, and while you are in the Mercedes garage, you can imagine what your boyfriend is saying about your brother over
But it only gets worse as Max regains the lead over the race, strategically passing your brother, which wouldn't need investigation, and now you can only imagine what your brother is saying as you've opted out of headphones.
With a sigh as the race ends, you join Red Bull in celebrating your boyfriend's win in the race.
You give your brother a quick hug before going to Max.
"Congratulations, baby," You say, kissing the helmet he has yet to take off.
You send Max off after that to get on the podium and get his trophy..
You watch your boyfriend get his trophy and raise it above his head, same as your brother, for his ending in 2nd and Lando for his 3rd place ending.
The rivalry between your brother and your boyfriend only gets worse as the season goes on.
There are three races left in the season. You had sat in Red Bull, having been at Mercedes the week before, and been going between the two garages like a child of divorce, one week with one and the next week with the other.
Max is in the lead for the championship, with your brother a mere 5 points behind him in the running.
Your brother comes to you after the race ends and just starts ranting to you, having confided in you your whole life about everything and anything.
He starts getting into it about Max and putting him down when you say, "Enough; I get that I'm your confident about things in driving, but please, nothing about my boyfriend, please."
Lewis gets offended that you defended your boyfriend to him because he had raved about Max before you started dating and you never said anything, but instead of saying something, he just leaves you alone.
The next race, you are in Mercedes, only for your brother to come to you in anger.
"Why are you here? You clearly enjoy it in Red Bull."
"What the fuck, Lewis?" You are clearly shocked; it's visible on your face; you have been going between the two garages for the entire season and have been supportive of both your brother and boyfriend.
"I mean your with him right so why aren't you there?"
"Because I am supporting you this weekend?" You're confused about the sudden change of your brother.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't be going between the garages anymore, so choose Mercedes or Red Bull?"
You are honestly speechless, having no idea what to say as you don't want to choose.
"Him or me?" Your brother continues.
"If you are truly making me choose, think about it first." You tell your brother in a serious tone.
"I'm serious, him or me?"
"I'd choose him because he wouldn't make me choose like you are right now," You say to your brother. Many in the garage just look away like they weren't listening as Lewis walks away, leaving you with tears in your eyes.
You then leave Mercedes and go to Red Bull, where Max wasn't expecting to see you.
You just hug him as you make your way to him.
"He made me choose," You whimper into Max's chest.
"He made me pick a side." It's then you fully break down crying.
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A/N: This was originally going to be an oc, but changed my mind as I started to write it. Also, it's more of a drabble than a one-shot.
Tags: none; let me know to be added
If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know so I don't keep tagging you. If you are striked through, I don't know if you want to be tagged, but just let me know if you want me to continue or stop
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wintfleur · 11 months ago
Note
Rutger telling Stella he got captain.
ꔫ my captain!
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°. — pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X Rutger McGroarty )
°. — details ( g; fluff! w; kissing, light swearing. wc; 1.1k )
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( thank you for requesting! I tried to get this out as fast as I could so it’s definitely not some of my best work but I still hope you guys enjoy it! So proud of rutger that he’s captain he deserves it!!! )
°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )
au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!
°. — asks about stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚。⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!
Rutger quickly uttered an apology to the two girls he almost ran into, as he rushed down the hallway leading to Stella's dorm room. The two girls looked behind them and watched as he jogged down the long hallway, one rolled her eyes while the other shrugged before continuing their way out of the elevator to leave the dorm building. His heavy footsteps echoed through the hallway, and he was sure that the people on the floor under them weren't too happy about that, but he honestly didn't care at that moment. 
Rutger pulled out his keys from his basketball shorts and looked for the key that had a worn-out sticker of a cherry on it, aka his copy of Stella's dorm key that she had gotten him months ago. He is moving quickly as he unlocks and opens the door, being welcomed by the sight of Stella's back to him and the smell of her favorite candle burning. Not only did she have her back to him she also had her pair of green headphones on, both reasons on why she didn't hear him come in. 
“Oh, my fuck” Stella exclaims in surprise and fear when she feels two hands on her hips, her first reaction is to push whoever it was away and quickly turning around to face them. Stella had her first up as she turned, ready to punch wherever it was but her abrupt movement is stopped when her fist is grabbed by a very familiar face. 
“Rutger what the hell!” Stella shouted as she gently pushed her smiling and now laughing boyfriend away from her, taking a seat on the edge of her bed being careful not to sit on her laundry that she was folding, taking her headphones off, placing her hand over her heart as she tried to catch her breath from the fright. Stella frowned and spoke quietly “You scared me.” 
“I’m sorry baby, I didn't mean to,” Rutger cooed as he grabbed her hand that was resting in her lap and pulled her up to stand, opening his arms for her. Stella wraps her arms around rut’s waist and shoves her face into his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. Rutger smiles and wraps one of his arms around her shoulders and the other around her waist, holding her close to him. Now even more eager to tell her the good — no the great news. 
“What's got you so smiley?” Stella asked as she pulled away from the hug, her hands resting on his waist and her fingers softly gripping onto the bottom of his hoodie. Rutger had a big smile on his face and Stella had a matching smile on hers, how could she not smile when he looked so happy. Rutger smiles and moves his hands up to cup Stella's face, Stella leaning into his warm touch. 
“I got the captain position on the juniors” Rutger whispered, repeating the words over and over in his head. It was the first time he has said it aloud since he found out before practice earlier, Stella being the first person he wanted to tell. A wide grin spreads across Stella's face, her dimples on full display at her boyfriend's words, a squeal leaving her lips “Oh my god Rut!” 
“I’m so proud of you I could scream!” Stella exclaims excitedly jumping up and wrapping her arms around Rutgers shoulders and hiding her face in his neck. Rutger laughs and wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her off the ground and spins around a few times, before setting Stella back down on her feet, his hold on her not wavering. He closes his eyes for a moment and just takes in the moment. He had his favorite person in his arms, he was now the captain of the U.S.A junior's team, everything was perfect. 
“It's probably best if you don't, we don't want another noise complaint” Rutger whispers in her ear teasingly, placing a few quick kisses on her temple. Stella laughs and gently pushes rutger on her bed, not caring about her laundry anymore. Rutger lets himself fall back on her bed, a small smirk forming on his lips when Stella quickly moves to straddle his lap. Their chests touch as Stella leans down, rutger expects to feel her lips on his but instead he feels her lips on his cheek. 
“I’m so proud of you” Stella said between all the kisses she littered all over his face, smiling as he started to laugh from the feeling of her lips all over his face. Rutger moved his hands that were at his sides to her jean covered thighs, his hands traveling up to the mid-section of her back. Stella leaves a trail of kisses down his jaw and neck, rutgers eyes closing at the sensation, his grin still on his face. 
Stella pulled her face from the crook of his neck and placed her finger on Rutgers cheek, tilting his head to face her. His eyes flutter open at the feeling of her hands on his face and their eyes meet for a few moments before stella leans down and brushes her lips against his, rutger moves one of his hands from her back and tangles it in his lover's hair as he seals their lips in a passionate kiss. Stella hums in surprise at how fast the kiss progressed but was quick to follow his lead. 
Rutger moves his hand that was resting on her lower back under her shirt, his warm hand on her back sending shivers down her spine. Their lips move in sync as stella moves her hand that was on his jaw to his nape, stella pulling away from the kiss and opening her eyes to whisper against his lips “My captain.” 
Rutger lets out one of those belly laughs that makes Stella fall even more in love with him every time she hears it. She smiles at the sound and moves her hand from his face, rutger moves his hand that was tangled in her hair to join his other hand on her back, holding her down against him so she wouldn't move. Stella giggles when she realizes what he was doing, she places a few kisses on his cheeks before one soft peck on the tip of his nose. 
Rutgers thoughts were still focused on the fact that Stella called him her captain, and the way it made him feel. Rutgers hand that was under Stella's shirt travels down and slides into one of the back pockets of her jeans. A smile on his lips the more he thinks of his new title and the way it sounded coming out of Stella's pretty lips. 
“I could get used to that.” 
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( IM SO SAD THAT I CANT WATCH ALL THE GAMES 😭 but I still wish team U.S.A good luck! )
°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @bradenschneider @cixrosie )
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twstfanblog · 9 months ago
Text
!*~Valentine's Times~*! pt 3
A/N: Here's the last half of the dorms! More world-building! Hope you enjoy it! The final part will be uploaded later on tonight, Happy Valentine's Day! Word Count: 7.9 (The Brick) Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, Gets mildly spicy, swearing (Ortho gets ONE SWEAR) Pairings: Established poly (Yuu/Azul/Jamil/Malleus), Alluded Rook/Vil, Fake past relationship Rook/Yuu, Alluded Cater/Idia L (NRC Staff ft OCs). O (Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle). V (Here). E (Crack)
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V is very, very extraordinary...
~SCARABIA~
The desert dorm was hot. But compared to the still nippy weather of the campus, Yuu welcomed the hot sun. Walking into the dorm's lounge area, Yuu looked at what could only be called ‘Craft Heaven’ or ‘Neat-Freak Hell’.
Construction paper, hot glue, and glitter were everywhere. No surface was seemingly uncovered by either paper scraps or stray blobs of paint. They just barely avoid stepping into the path of splattered yellow paint, eyes glaring at the half-apologetic student.
Things had nearly escalated before a pair of arms wrapped around their waist, picking them up and spinning them around as a joyful voice rang out.
“Yuu! I didn't know you were coming over!” Kalim laughs, taking care to place his friend in a cleaner area after taking note of their pretty white boots, “If I had known you were coming I'd have your Valentine ready to give to you! I just finished it so it's still wet…”
Yuu smiles, “Aw! You made me a Valentine? Kalim, you know I'm a taken harlot~.”
He laughs, hands proudly on his hips, “And you know I'm not looking! But! You are one of my dearest friends. It'd be wrong to not give you something on the day of love!”
Sniffling, Yuu wipes an imaginary tear from their cheek, “Kalim, you are my shining star.” 
Once the two had calmed their respective vibes, Yuu gestured around the dorm, “So, is this like a side hustle Scarabia has or is there a holiday tradition I'm missing?”
Kalim makes a questioning noise, then looks around the dorm before shaking his head and laughing, “OH! Naw. Lilia was pouting the other day about how he doesn't get ‘adorable’ homemade Valentine's Day cards anymore. So I had planned on gifting one to him and Cater at the exchange tonight. But then I wanted to make one for Jamil, then I couldn't leave you out of course, and then I had to make one for Azul, Malleus. The list just kinda grew!”
He gestures around to the other Scarabia members, only now did Yuu realize some weren't actually Scarabia students, “Everyone else saw me making them and wanted to join. So, we're having a last-minute craft party!” They both wince at seeing a spray of paint and glitter go flying through the air, “Yeah…Jamil’s in the kitchen making lunch for everyone. I'm in charge of cleaning this up before we leave for the exchange.”
“Well, Kalim I'm gonna make that harder for you, while also giving you a little treat.”
“Oh!?...” Kalim squints his eyes, brain catching the first part of Yuu's statement, “Wait, make this harder how? I'm happy for the treat but I don't want to make this even harder to clean up!”
“Gonna ignore the concern in your voice and give you the treat first. It's chocolate!”
Yuu pulls out a bag tied closed with white and burgundy ribbons. Inside were multiple colored gems, each glittering in the light through the plastic. He takes the bag, eyeing the gems with a focused stare. Only when he brought the bag closer did he fully see the ‘gems’ were simply chocolates luster-dusted in bright colors. He laughs, pulling a chocolate out to hold in the light.
“Ah! Clarity is bad, but the cut is very pleasing…”
“You are not evaluating my chocolate right now.”
“The colors are also pretty! Good saturation, a very pure hue…” Kalim brings the sweet to his mouth, eyes widening when he bites down to discover they were filled, “Oh! Coconut cream! Forget the grading, these are perfect!”
Yuu folded their arms, a smile winning the fight they put up to frown, “Okay, so with the grade they were bad, huh? You know what? Here.” They reach into their bag, pulling out a purple velvet bag with golden drawstrings, “That's for you.”
Kalim looked at the bag, opening it and raising an eyebrow as he stuck his hand inside, “What'd you get me-...” he pulled out his completely gold-coated hand, staring at it before he realized what he had in his possession,  “Yuu, did you give me a bag of gold dust?”
“Ye.”
“...” Kalim giggles, lightly bouncing on his heels as his eyes searched around the dorm, “Midas! Miiiiiiiidas~!” With his target seemingly found, Kalim raced off into the crowd of people, bag of luster dust and chocolates in firm hand.
Yuu wipes their hands of imaginary dust, turning on their heel and heading toward the kitchen. A part of them almost felt bad, the area near the kitchen was completely empty. Jamil must have been in Heaven, cooking in blissful solitude…
Jamil jumps hearing the doors of the kitchen swing open and slam against the wall, shoulders moving up to his ears only to feel every ounce of strength to tense leave his body at his date-mate's voice.
“Hi, Jamil~.”
They both stand in silence, Jamil still facing the stove before he sighed. Looking at them from the corner of his eye he mumbled out, untrusting that they appeared for a simple visit, “Hello.”
“Wow, Jamil. I can feel the love we share for one another pouring out of your fucking pores from here.”
Jamil sighs again, rolling his eyes so hard his head followed the movement, “Alright, let me try again…” He turns to Yuu fully, fluttering his eyelashes as he copied their earlier tone, “Hi, Yuu~.” he drops the flirty tone, raising an eyebrow, “Was that better?”
Yuu smiles, wrapping their arms around Jamil’s neck as they press against him, “Very.” A kiss, short and sweet as they let Jamil gently nudge them away from the stove.
Jamil subtly licked his lips, shoving Yuu lightly to one of the stools at the massive island, “Don't stand too close. You're in light colors and it'd do no good to get oil on yourself.” He goes back to tending the dish, flipping the meat by simply flicking his wrist, “If you came for lunch, it'll be at max an hour to wait.”
“What if I came to give you Valentine’s Day gifts instead?”
The look Jamil threw over his shoulder was disrespectful to the point Yuu hoped their future children would call Jamil out on it. They gasped, offended and miming they closed a coat around their body as they put on a thick accent, “Why I never! I came in here, alone, without a care in the world to give my loving boyfriend some chocolate I slaved over! And this is the thanks I get? Suspected of crimes that I would totally commit, but didn't?
“...” Jamil turned off the burner, grabbing a dishrag and cleaning off his hands in silence. He walks toward Yuu, hands quickly grabbing their hips when they try to step away from him. With a tired smile, he simply tilted his head to the side, “I love you. Have I ever told you that?”
“Don't sound so defeated when you say it. God, you make it sound like I wore you down!” They could barely contain their laughter, arms wrapping around his waist in a hug.
“That's because you did, you beat every ounce of fight out of me. Now, what did you bring me?”
Yuu had a hybrid of a pout and a smile on their face. Looking at Jamil’s tired expression before pulling out his bag of sweets, “I brought you chocolates. And they’re spicy, because I thought you would like that.”
Jamil holds the bag in his hand eyeing it passively. Tied off with burgundy and black ribbons, the chocolates inside were dark and shaped like gems. The edges of the chocolates painted with gold luster dust, burgundy and gold chocolate pearls scattered within the bag. The promised flavorings of dark chocolate and the Sriracha paste he had helped them make was a welcomed retreat he looked forward to.
He smiles, placing the chocolates on the counter and pulling Yuu fully into his embrace, “Thank you. Now sit down and do nothing.”
“I have another gift!”
The sigh Jamil let out was loud, giving his smiling date-mate a playful glare, “Yuu. My love. My hayati…I will not tolerate your bullshit today. If you cause trouble when my plate's full as it is, I will spank you.”
“Don't threaten me with a good time. But, no. You'll like this present, I swear.” They reach into their tote, pulling out what looked like a thick checkbook and holding it out to Jamil.
He raises an eyebrow, taking the booklet in hand and reading the dull red cover. “Jamil’s Cheat Checks” was on the front in gold script, flipping it open showed what seemed to be legitimate checks. The illusion was broken as the amount was pre-written as ‘Shut up and do as I say.’ He chuckles, checking each ticket to confirm they all said the same thing, “What is this?”
“Checks that when handed to me will make me stop all manner of shenanigans, hijinks, and/or funny hahas.”
“Wow. Even your funny hahas? The power you've bestowed upon me.” Jamil tucks the checkbook into the waist of his apron and presses another kiss to Yuu's lips, nodding his head toward the island before turning back to the stove, “Now sit. Food will be done in about 45 minutes and you can help me bring it out.”
“Yeah, yeah. I will do as asked and not spread my joyous presence to the masses.” Yuu sat on the other side of the island, resting their cheek on their hand as they smiled dreamily at Jamil, “I'll just sit here and daydream~.”
Jamil raises an eyebrow but goes back to prepping the food. But, the silence was short-lived, Yuu lasting at most a minute before they started to mimic the sound of a phone ringing. Jamil paid them no mind, focusing on getting another dish prepared for its final roast in one of the dorm's many ovens. He does look from the corner of his eyes as Yuu started to speak out loud,  just to see if they actually were on the phone.
Yuu's phone screen was black. Held in a way that it looked like they were talking, but made it easy to see the blank screen, “Yeah? No, I'm with Jamil. Yeah…I know.” They smiled at him, clearly catching him glancing at them, “He's so cute right?”
His eyes quickly turned back to the pan, a blush slowly growing worse and worse the longer Yuu ‘talked on the phone’
“I know right? Like, dude, how are you so handsome, talented, and intelligent? Can you be any more perfect?” Yuu internally cooed, watching Jamil’s shoulders raise higher and higher as the tips of his ears darkened with his blush.
“I can not wait to male wife him the fuck up.” The sound of Jamil’s accessories jingling as his head snapped around to glare at them was almost enough to make Yuu break, but they kept going. 
Jamil knew they were doing this because he was focused on cooking. He could see their phone, they weren't even holding it right. Yuu was simply waxing poetic behind his back because there was a whole island between them. His mind drifts to the tickets tucked against his hips and a part of him huffed in mild annoyance. They would make him use his present the second they gifted it to him.
Yuu watches Jamil grow more and more fidgety, listing off all the things they ‘had planned’ for when they were bound in holy matrimony. Romantic dates, quiet nights at home in each other's embrace, moments of passion. It was hard keeping the laugh out of their voice watching Jamil’s steadily quickening movements to place the crafted dish into the oven.
“Yeah. I just can't wait to be barefoot and pregnant-” they hear the hasty sound of an oven door slamming shut and ripping paper, “Hold on. I think Jamil wants something.” They place their phone down, turning to smile at Jamil, “Yeah, babes?”
Jamil held out one of the checks, glaring across the island with his cheeks flared, “You say that shit behind closed bedroom doors, not in the kitchen where anyone can hear it!”
Yuu sat patiently, blinking once before they pointed to the ticket, “You know you have to hand that to me right?”
His eyes narrow, moving to walk around the island only to stop as he watches Yuu mirror his movements. Every step he took toward them, they would move away. Jamil glared over the counter, the two of them now on opposite sides from where they started, “Really?” He couldn't fight the smirk on his face.
“Yeah, you really have to hand me the ticket, Jamil.” Yuu wiggled their eyebrows, a challenge ringing clear that even with the tickets they would never go down without a struggle.
Jamil clicks his tongue, untying his apron and slapping it on the counter. They stood still, eyes locked in a stalemate before he quickly faked left and then darted to the right of the island.
Yuu barely kept themselves from falling as they fled, the distance between them kept steady as Yuu yelled out, “Jamil! You're in sandals, I'm in heels! This isn't good for either of our ankles!”
“Take the damn ticket!”
“You have to hand it to me!”
They made a few complete circles around the island before Jamil threw caution and ‘playing fair’ to the sands. He braced his hands onto the counter, jumping and quickly scrambling across the island and managing to grip a screaming Yuu by the back of their overalls. They both fall to the ground, the sounds of Yuu's panicked scream laughter bouncing off the walls. The sound of a heavy ‘SMACK’ turning their laughter soon into breathless moans and the sounds of heavy kissing.
The door clicks open. Kalim walked in, a handprint of gold smeared across his face and more dust coating his hair and clothing, “Hey, Yuu. Is this stuff edible? I think I-Ah! AAAAH!” He quickly turned back to the door, trying to flee after catching a glimpse of Yuu and Jamil lip locked and fully grinding against each other on the floor, “STOP DOING THIS IN THE KITCHEN!”
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~POMEFIORE~
Vil looked at the mess before him, glaring with his eyeliner brush hanging almost limp in his hand. Yuu stood in his doorway, sheepishly tugging at their shirt edge to hide the various bite marks along their collar. He could tell their hair was curled, but the state it was in now left it nothing more than a fizzy manhandled mess. By the Seven, their makeup. Smeared and blotchy, nothing more than an utter sabotage of the beauty community. 
Sighing, Vil sat down his eyeliner brush. Motioning them into the room as he opened his drawer to gather makeup closer to Yuu’s skin tone, “You were either mauled or you went to one of your lovers before walking in here looking so unkempt. Which one was it?”
“Jamil…” Yuu drags the ottoman closer to his vanity, sitting down and placing their tote on the ground, “And all I can say is that he actually looks more fucked up than I do.”
The third year reaches out to hold a frizzled tassel of Yuu's hair with two of his fingers, face pinched, “I highly doubt that…though I will commend him for still leaving bites and hickeys with that choker you have on.”
“Can you fix it?”
“I shouldn’t, in the hope that this will teach you a lesson in restraint,” He grounds out, already pulling Yuu’s hair out of its half ponytail gently and taking a brush to it, “But, I’d feel worse letting you walk around like this. I have very little authority over you as your club leader but I expect all under my care to look their best at all times.”
Yuu smiles, letting Vil do his favorite activity of priming others, “Thank you, big brother.” They will agree the laugh they let out was ‘gremlin’ adjacent, closing their eyes on Vil’s command as he poured his mineral water onto a towel.
Vil grumbles but takes care to remove the smeared pigment from Yuu’s face, “Honestly. I don’t know what’s worse. You spreading rumors that we’re family or the fact my own father sent you a Valentine’s basket along with mine…”
“One of those is mine!?” Yuu looks away from Vil, eyes glittering to the two large red and pink-toned baskets sitting on Vil’s bed, “Aw~! That’s nice.”
Vil quickly moved Yuu’s face back to him, frowning at the fact he nearly poked the younger student in the eye when they moved. “Stop moving…” His glare intensifies, staring at reddish spots dotted along their cheeks, “Are you breaking out? Why are you breaking out? Honestly, I make you a personal blend of skincare and you don’t even use it.”
 Yuu waves his words off, rolling their eyes, “I’ve been stressed! I spent the last few weeks trying to perfect chocolate molds and fruit fillings. Also, pretty sure standing over a pot of boiling sugar wasn’t good for my skin…”
Vil snaps his fingers, pointing upward, “Look up.” He ignores Yuu groaning, applying a few drops of his handmade blemish eraser serum, “Honestly, why are you so stressed about it? I understand you have three lovers but that shouldn’t be too much for you to handle.”
“Oh. Naw, I made chocolate for all my favs, not just them.” They rubbed the serum into their cheeks, humming lightly at the scent of lavender.
“...” When Yuu doesn’t say anything more, he frowns. Turning to his gathered makeup he mumbles while applying their foundation, “Well, I see how it is…”
“I don’t wanna give you your chocolates now. You’re way more of a bitch to me when it’s just the two of us.”
“Oh, so you did make me chocolate? Color me surprised, I would think you’d leave me out from ‘sibling spite’...”
Yuu groans, reaching into their tote but not pulling the bag out, “You can’t be mean to me about these, okay? I worked really hard on them.”
Vil rolls his eyes, turning his full attention to them with a raised brow, “Fine. If they’re horrible I will simply remain silent.”
“...” Yuu pulls out a bag tied off with purple and gold ribbons, the bow multiple loops and grand. The chocolates inside were dark chocolate and shaped like crowns, half of them luster-dusted with gold and purple chocolate pearls scattered inside, “I filled them with raspberry. Like, the saddest raspberry filling. I didn’t add sugar past what was needed to help keep it edible after thickening it.”
Vil takes the bag, eyeing it silently before he places it on a free shelf of his vanity. He gives a brief yet fond look to the chocolates before making sure their foundation was properly blended, “They look very nice. Where did you learn to tie a knot that intricate?”
Yuu breathed a sigh of relief, “Tulip did the bows, mine weren’t good enough it seems…”  They already knew getting Vil chocolates would be a gamble. The star was hyper-aware of nearly every calorie he took in. They had honestly entertained the idea of getting him a celery bouquet instead, “I’m glad you like them though.”
“Ah…Tulip…” Vil did his best to not pull a face at the mention of the over zealous fairy. “The chocolates are cute. I’ll try them later tonight and give my full review.” He smiles, holding up two eye shadow palettes. One was centered around reds and darker tones, the other had more pink options and various glitters, “Now pick your eyeshadow.”
“Oo~! I want a glittery smokey eye.”
Vil worked fast, redoing Yuu’s makeup faster than they had done it themselves. Taking the time to paint small hearts along their cheeks, over where their tiny red spots would be. Saving their eyeliner for last, he hums at his project and gestures for them to look into the mirror, “There we go. Two fat little wings, just as you like.”
Yuu lets out an ‘Ooo’, fluttering their eyelashes and winking just to watch the glitter on their lids, “I love it! And don’t hate on my ‘fat wing’ liner style. I say nothing about you staining your skin with the darkest eyeshadow every day.”
“Get out of my room.”
“No, give me my gift basket.”
Vil turns back to the mirror, eyeliner brush back in hand as he applies his own wings to a ‘proper’ length, “No, it’s mine now since you want to be rude to me.”
Yuu frowns, crossing their arms and intentionally making their voice whiney, “But you said dad got it for meeeeeee.”
“We aren’t siblings-”
The door bursts open, making both of them jump at the loud cry of “BONJOUR~!”
“Hi, Rook~!”
“Mon vieille amor~!” The Florian quickly walks into the room, dropping to one knee in front of Yuu and presenting them with a small bouquet of roses, “For the brightest flame of my past! Roses as bloomed as your wedding bouquet, pink as the twilight from the night sky of our first dance.”
Yuu gasps, taking the gathering of pink flowers into their arms, “Oh, Rook! Just like our 20th anniversary~! I’m so glad you remembered!” they reach into their tote bag, pulling out a mason jar filled with pink and gold chocolate pearls. The bag was tied off with purple and black ribbons, plastic keeping the chocolate sculpted roses safe, “Chocolate roses, for the man who taught me how to love.”
Rook takes the jar gently, smiling as he opens it immediately. He takes a petal from one of the roses, placing it in his mouth, “They love me…” He takes another petal into his mouth, “They love me not~ Beauté! 1000 points for this gift of love, mon vieille amor!” with the jar in one hand, he wrapped the other around Yuu’s waist to pull them closer to place them in a faux dip. He makes loud, borderline obnoxious kissing sounds as he mimes pecking along a giggling Yuu’s face.
Vil glared at them, a jagged line of black from the corner of his eye and down his cheek. He turns back to the mirror, pouring more mineral water onto a towel, “Both of you get out of my room…”
“Vil, stop being so jealous. Me and Rook are so in the past, but we were married for 40 years. It’d feel weird to not get each other something for Valentine’s Day.”
“You two. Never dated…”
Rook stood, placing Yuu up right beside him with a hand over his heart, “Oh, mon roi. My and Yuu’s love was true and deep. 40 years of affection, a son, and a lifelong companionship to stand the test of time.”
“You’re both under 20, your ‘son’ is a bird, and you didn’t meet until this year. The joke is old.”
Yuu clicks their tongue, shaking their head before resting it on Rook’s chest, “You just don’t get it, Vil…”
“Oh, no. I get it. My boyfriend and my little sister are both infected with the same brain-eating virus-”
“HA!” Yuu pulls away from Rook, pointing at Vil’s frowning face, “You called me your sister! Sibling bond, you BITCH!”
“I WILL-”
“Why is everybody yellin’ in here?” Epel stood in the open doorway, looking at the scene in front of him. He raises an eyebrow at Vil’s appearance, the third-year with one side of his face completely bare, “You…you doing something new and stupid with your face?”
Vil scowls, “Epel, I will make you sit at my and Rook’s table the whole party.”
Epel looks to the side, beads of sweat forming on his temple as he internally panics, “Never mind. I love it.” He turns and waves, eyes pleading for Yuu to help take Vil’s glare off of him, “Hey, Yuu! What are you doing here? Let’s talk about it!”
“Actually, I’m leaving. But here you go!” They reach into their tote, pulling out a bag tied closed with purple and red ribbons. 
Throwing it to Epel, the other first-year had to rush forward to keep it from falling to the ground. He holds the bag to his face, tilting his head at the red luster-dusted and milk chocolates in the shape of apples. Green beads of chocolate scattered in the bag, “Oh! You even made them apple-shaped. Thanks, Yuu.”
“Thank you for the apple cider. I used it to make the caramel I filled your chocolates with.”
Epels eyes widened, quickly opening the bag to grab a chocolate to try, “Hot damn! That sounds fuckin’ sweet-”
Vil glares at Epel through the mirror, finally painting his second wing properly, “Epel…”
“Thank you, I’m very excited to try it…”
Yuu snickers, “Did you forget he was in the room? Anyway. Pomefiore boys, thank you for hosting me, but I still got a few stops to make before I gotta head back to Ramshackle and get ready for the party.”
“...” Vil sighs, pointing to the gift baskets on his bed, “The red one is yours. You can take one thing from it.”
The squeal Yuu lets out is giddy, bordering on ear-splitting. They rushed toward the bag and made sure to open it as carefully as possible. Opening the basket to see a plethora of nail polishes and beauty products, “Aw! Mr. Shoenhiet really doesn’t do anything in half does he?” Yuu pulls out a dark red lip gloss, opening it to apply to their lips.
Vil smirks, seeing Yuu had picked the lipgloss he had personally advised his father to get for them when the man had asked what Yuu would like in their basket, “Of course he doesn’t. He’s my father after all.”
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~IGNIHYDE~
Ignihyde didn't even bother decorating, nothing past the holographic screens showing a loop of hearts. Even then, they were the basic dorm blue, nothing even red. Though Yuu did see the tables were adorned by fresh flowers and pomegranates. They looked around the empty lounge, walking closer to a table to pick a fruit for themselves. Only to jump at seeing multiple bright dots appear on their hand and a disembodied voice ring out.
“Prefect Yuu, do not take the fruit. I repeat. Do not take the fruit.”
“Ortho, what the fuck my guy?” They pull their hand away, both hands placed beside their head as they looked around the room in panic.
Ortho appeared from a hallway, at least looking mildly sheepish as he floated closer, “Sorry! I forget at times you're not from here and don't know traditions.”
“It's tradition to try to shoot a bitch getting some fruit?”
“...” Ortho looks to the side, “Well…the shooting is more so my choice. But still! Taking the fruit is bad!”
Yuu sighed, throwing their head back but waving a hand as if to say ‘Go on’.
“The fruit and flowers are offerings. Hades was one of the longer lived Great Seven, so there's a number of stories about him. One of which was about his wife.”
“Ah. Persephone right?”
“Yes!” Ortho closes his eyes to show he was smiling, “Hades loved his wife dearly even though they were separated multiple times in their marriage. The offerings started out in the warmer months when Persephone and Hades were separated. The flowers to keep Hades in good spirits and the pomegranates to remind Persephone of her husband. But once the Queen's Marriage Anniversary was adapted outside of the Queendom of Roses, it also became tradition to offer both! As a way of gifting the lovers on this day of love and appreciation.”
“Aw…that's actually really cute…”
“I agree.” Ortho narrows his eyes, wagging his finger at Yuu in mock scolding, “So no taking any fruit or flowers! It's very rude to steal from a God.”
Yuu giggles, nodding their head, “Noted. Also…” They take a step forward, wrapping their arms around Ortho's body and pressing a kiss right below his eye before pulling away, “Happy Valentine's Day!”
Ortho stood still for a moment before he rocketed back into Yuu's arms, nearly lifting them off their feet from the force of his hug, “Happy Valentine's Day, Prefect Yuu! Thank you for the kiss! I've now collected three kisses!”
“Three?”
“Yes! Nii-San, Cater Diamond, and now Prefect Yuu! I feel very loved!”
“Aw. Well you're gonna feel a lot more love, baby boy.” Yuu reaches into their tote bag, pulling out a heart printed wrapped gift tied with white and blue ribbons, “A gift for you. Since you can't eat…”
Ortho's eyes were so bright Yuu was afraid they'd burn a hole through the box. The android took the package with care, “Thank you so much! May I open it now?”
“Go ahead!”
With almost surgical precision, Ortho unwrapped the gift and gently placed the folded paper and ribbons to the side. His eyes scan the box; a children's ‘make your own candy’ science kit. He flips the box over, reading the list of ingredients included in the kit. Once he was done, he looked into Yuu's eyes, “Prefect Yuu, may I swear?”
Yuu chokes on their laugh, but smiles and nods, “Yeah…yeah let it rip, buddy…”
“Prefect Yuu, this kit is shit.”
“I know…I know…” Yuu laughs at the bewildered look Ortho gives them, his eyes going from reading over the kit to squinting at them, “Look. I got it because while the candy is…barely edible, the kits are fun! You've got access to actual chemicals and stuff that you could use to make them taste better anyway.”
Ortho looks at the kit, calculating the few things he'd need to gather to make the potential candies in a greater quality, “That's true.”
“Plus! You can make fun gummies for Idia to try and like…slip a multivitamin or something in them.”
“I love it, thank you so much.” Ortho hugs the box to his chest, already coming up with numerous candies his brother would like. He perks up, eyes glittering when he realized Yuu hadn’t left, “Do you…Did you bring chocolates for Nii-San?”
Yuu nodded, patting their tote, “I did.”
The halls passed by in a blur, Ortho had picked Yuu up and flown as fast as he safely could to the housewarden’s door. Yuu had barely realized where they were before Ortho was knocking on the door at a rapid pace, “Nii-san, may we come in!?”
A quiet voice calls out from inside the room, “We…?”
Yuu smiles, calling out so that Idia knew who was with Ortho, “Are you decent?”
The voice calls out again, louder and with an edge of panic, “YOU CAN’T COME IN!”
Yuu nods at Ortho, “I think he’s decent.” 
They reach and swing the door open, smiling at seeing Cater look up from Idia’s bed and remove one of his earphones, “Sup?”
“No…Ortho why do you do this to me…?” Idia curled into his gaming chair, pulling his hood over his head as though if he could hide from Yuu’s sight they would have forgotten he was even there, “It was a good day…I got a free day from classes…Cater brought me candy…I didn’t see that fucking thing…”
“This ‘fucking thing’ has ears and the power to beat your ass.” Yuu smiles, reaching into their tote, “But I’m gonna let you get back to your day and just give you your chocolates. Catch!” They threw the bag, purposefully making it land against Idia’s keyboard.
Idia looks at the baggie, bright blue and black ribbons tying it closed with milk and white chocolate skulls inside with multi-colored gummies that looked like the buttons of a game controller. He brings the bag closer, eyes roaming to see if he saw anything truly hazardous in the bag. Like…a carrot…or broken glass…or a scorpion. But seeing nothing, he brought the bag closer to his chest and looked over at Yuu.
“I don’t know if this item drop showing our friendship…makes me fear you less or more…”
“Pick whichever one makes you feel safest.”
“...” Idia opens the bag, digging through the bag for one of the bright blue buttons, “It makes me fear you more.”
“That was the right answer. Ok! I gotta GO! Love you guys, see you at the party. Bye~...” Their ‘bye’ was heard as they ran down the hall, only ending at the sound of the dorms front doors slamming shut.
Idia turned to Ortho, frowning mildly at his beaming brother, “Why do you keep letting her into my room…?”
“Well, Nii-san. You refuse to leave your room. So I have to bring people to your room.”
Cater speaks up from the bed, placing his ear phones back as he nodded, “You gotta get that enrichment babe…”
“...” Idia turned to his computer, typing into the search bar, ‘How to tell if you are being bullied’.
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~DIASOMNIA~
“I'm sorry, run that by me one more time?”
The diasomnia student sneered down his nose at them, sword held out to clash with the other student guarding the rope bridge to the dorm, “You heard me you harlot. You are no longer welcome in the grand Noble dorm of Diasomnia. Take your swill and be off!”
“...” Yuu nods their head, raising their eyebrows and pursing their lips, “Okay.” They turn on their heel walking away from the stunned students.
As Yuu was a good distance away yet still in the dorm, the more spiteful student smiled at his fellow guard, “S-see!? I told you. There was never a need to fear that wench, she only got away with everything she did because Lord Malleus favored her. Now that he doesn’t, she’s powerless!”
He continued on, boasting about how their dorm leader had finally seen that a magicless human wasn’t worthy of his affections. But during his speech, the silent guard kept his eyes on Yuu. The Ramshackle prefect didn't even walk toward the mirror when they left, only a few paces off to the side of the path. He watched silently as they knelt down, pulling festive bags from their massive tote and even a bouquet of flowers.
Then he felt a shiver go down his spine as he watched them fill the now empty tote with rocks.
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Silver looks up hearing the doors open, blinking in mild confusion at who walked through them, “Yuu?”
Yuu was smiling, pulling a sizable rock out of their tote bag and dropping it outside the door, “Hey Silver! Um. If you think you see two unconscious bodies over by the bridge, no you don't.”
“What?”
“Happy Valentine's day!” Yuu was quick to pull out a plastic bag tied close with silver and bright green ribbons.
He takes it slowly, eyeing the dark chocolate shapes of swords and Z's with green and light purple chocolate pearls scattered in the bag. Opening it, he was greeted with the strong scent of espresso, “Oh. Coffee flavored?”
“Espresso cream filled. Thought you could put them in your coffee for an extra boost!” They look around the dorm lounge, eyes roaming, “While I adore you Silver, where is Malleus?”
Silver remained silent, putting a small sword into his mouth and chewing, “...It's good…”
“...Okay. You enjoy your chocolate, I'm gonna go hunt my boyfriend down.”
A nod was all Silver gave, stepping to the side to show he wasn't going to stop them, “Bye, Yuu.”
The dorm was filled with distrusting eyes, more so than normally. Yuu didn't bother asking any of them where Malleus was since they probably would have the same response as the guards. And sadly they don't have any more rocks in their bag. They sigh in a hallway, hands on their hips and looking around the room one last time.
“Beastie!”
Yuu felt a tap on their left shoulder, turning to the right as they knew Lilia's tricks. But, instead of seeing Lilia they see open air. They sigh, turning back around only to jump back as Lilia's face suddenly dropped into view, “AH! FUCK LILIA!” They braced themselves against the wall, catching their breath as Lilia giggled behind them, “Stop doing that…”
Lilia floats closer, smiling as he pats Yuu’s head, “Stop having such adorable reactions. What brings you to Diasomnia, dearie?”
“I’m passing out chocolates to my favorites and looking for Malleus.”
Lilia's eyes widen, humming loudly as he looks to the side, “Well, I can accept the chocolate and give you Malleus's location. But, you'll have to deal with him and Sebek alone…”
“Oh, Sebek is never an issue for me. While I have you, can you tell me what the fuck is wrong with Malleus?”
“...” Lilia smiles, tilting his head so far it made his whole body start to slowly spin in the air, “You said you brought chocolate?”
Yuu groans, but still reaches into their tote to pull out a baggie tied off with bright green and pink ribbons. Dark chocolate in the shape of bats and green chocolate pearls filling the bag.
Lilia squeals out in delight, taking the bag and opening it, “Oh, Beastie! I didn't think you'd actually bring little old me chocolate.” He coos lightly at the bat between his fingers, biting into it and nearly choking, “...Did you fill this with tomato paste?”
“More so a tomato jam…but basically…” they raise an eyebrow, “Are you going to tell me what's going on with Malleus?”
“Hmmm…” Lilia grabbed another chocolate, eating it whole and chewing, “Such an interesting flavor combination…I quite like it!”
“Okay, fuck you guys. But seriously. I've been so busy running around all day and I only, like…noticed that Malleus hasn't talked to me all day? Is he sick?”
“Hmmm. These chocolates are so good!”
Yuu frowns, reaching into their tote and pulling out another bag, “Just because I'm annoyed. Here.” They shove the bag into Lilia's chest, walking away as the older fae looks in confusion.
When he realizes what's in the bag, he frowns. Pastel colored shapes of a bat, a sword, a crocodile, and a dragon all cut out from marshmallow. He sticks his tongue out and turns around to yell after Yuu, “These are cute but you know I dislike marshmallows!”
Looking over their shoulder, Yuu yells back, “That's not my problem!” They continued walking, ignoring Lilia muttering under his breath if he'd be able to regift the marshmallows to Silver.
As expected, Sebek stood at attention in front of Malleus's door. They make eye contact, Sebek's eyes narrowing instantly upon seeing them.
“Yuu.”
“Sebek.” Yuu folded their arms, raising an eyebrow at the half-fae, “So…move.”
Sebek sniffs, turning his head to look away from them, “I don't take orders from you.”
“I know you don't. But, real quick, how are your kidneys doing? They doing ok?”
“If you're trying to start a fight-”
“I would bust your kidneys a second time. But, no, I'm not here for that. Lilia told me to come find you.”
“...” Sebek tilted his head, a sneer lifting one side of his lip, “Do you truly think I'm that stupid?”
“I do think you're dumb, but Lilia seriously asked me to come find you. He needs help finding his phone.”
Sebek simply sniffed again, turning his nose up at them. He even widened his stance and remained unmoved in front of Malleus's door.
“...” Yuu shrugs, turning around and walking away with a wave over their shoulder, “Fine. I'll just make sure Lilia knows you don't care about his problems.” They counted in their head, smirking when they heard Sebek groan.
“Fine! But, you’re coming with me-” The moment Sebek had walked beside Yuu, he choked, feeling them yank the back of his collar harshly. The kick to the back of his knee sent him down, aheap on the floor and then being blinded by being hit in the face with a plastic bag.
He only looked at the bag for a few moments, tied off with green and yellow ribbons. Milk chocolate lightning bolts, what looked to be gummy green crocodiles, and green chocolate pearls. That ingrate had assaulted him with festive chocolates. He tried to roll to his feet quickly, glaring up at the human running back down the hall toward Malleus’s room, “YUU!”
“Caught you lackin’!” Yuu had already reached Malleus’s door, smiling and holding up their fingers to form a heart, “Love you, bitch~.” They open the door, managing to slam and lock it just before Sebek had reached them. Smiling with a wicked glee seeing the door shake from the force of Sebek slamming against it.
The room was dim, but it normally was. Having night vision apparently made the goth aesthetic too easy to fall into. Lucky for Yuu, Malleus was always easy to find. The pair of glowing eyes in the corner at his desk giving away his location. 
“Hi Malleus. I haven't heard from you today, I was getting worried. You feeling okay?”
Strangely, Malleus doesn't respond. His only reply was to deepen his frown, eyes looking to the side in dismissal.
“...” Yuu blinked, placing their hands on their hips as they looked around the room in confusion, “Why…are you pouting? What happened?”
“...” Malleus sniffs, frown turning into a mild scowl as he fully turns his body away from them. Though Yuu was able to tell he was still watching them from the mirror with his eyes.
“...Are you ignoring me!?” Yuu couldn't stop the half-offended guffaw they let out that nearly caused them to choke. Malleus had responded by flipping a tassel of his hair over his shoulder. “The fuck did I do!?”
Was he pouting because they wouldn't let him come to Ramshackle the past week? Or maybe there was a certain fae etiquette that they hadn't done and now he was upset by it. They walked up to the pouting mage, trying to catch his eyes though he kept turning away from them. Soon they had straddled him in the chair, forcing eye contact.
“Ok. Talk to me. I can't make it up to you if I don't know what I did babes…”
He scoffs, “Oh, it's so trivial that you've forgotten what you did? Timothy surely hasn't…”
Yuu snorts, looking away when Malleus snaps his head to glare at them. It takes them a good few moments to compose themselves, but when they do they place their hands on Malleus’s cheeks. Squishing the cool flesh to make his pout even cuter, “You’re jealous…of Timothy?”
“You kissed him…” Malleus’s glare softened, turning his expression more into a kicked puppy than the annoyed dragon he was, “How could you bestow a kiss to him before me? It’s a grave error at worst and a slight at best…”
“...” Yuu’s hands left Malleus’s cheeks, not saying anything to his expression becoming even sadder. Instead they looked around their tote, pulling out a single item and placing it in Malleus’s hand.
Malleus looks into his palm, a drop wrapped in shiny aluminum with a paper tail sticking out of the top. He blinks, looking at Yuu in confusion as they leaned against his shoulder with a mischievous smile, “What is this?”
“A kiss.” Yuu’s smile widens as Malleus seemed to realize his mistake, turning away with a small blush rising to his cheeks. But they simply kissed along his neck, a hand moving up to scratch at the small patch of scales just behind his ear, “I gave each of the fairies a kiss as payment for helping me make chocolate for all my loved ones.”
“...I see…” The dragon would only be flustered for so long. He turned back to Yuu, a hand under their chin to hold them still as he gently kissed their lips. Pulling away, there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he smiled, “Well, do you have an offering of love for me?”
Yuu smiled back, just as mischievous. They lean back, holding up the final bag of chocolate in their possession. Tied off with green and black ribbons, filled with dark chocolate shapes of ferocious faces and bright green chocolate pearls. They smile, gesturing to the bag with an excited look, “Open and try one!”
Malleus chuckles but does as asked. He pulls a single chocolate from the bag and looks at it with a keen eye. The shape confused him at first, not knowing why they’d make his chocolates in such a form until he realized he had seen it before. The smile on his face was what Lilia had once described as ‘Lovestruck’. Yuu had taken the time and effort to make his chocolates in the shape of gargoyle faces. Placing it in his mouth, he only bit down for a moment before a shock went through his body at the flash of cold.
The laugh Yuu let was high and almost mocking if he wasn’t so familiar with it, “I’m guessing it worked then?”
“Did you…how did you fill these with ice cream?” He took another chocolate from the bag happily eating it and purring at the feeling of chilled and unmelted ice cream mixing with the bitter chocolate.
“The fairies helped me. The frost fairies were super excited to make an ice cream that wouldn’t melt in the chocolate.”
“Well, I’m glad you succeeded in your culinary endeavors.” Malleus smiles, placing the chocolate on his desk to wrap his arms around them, placing his chin on their shoulder.
Yuu hums, snuggling into Malleus's warming body with a teasing smirk, “And that I didn’t kiss Timmy?”
“Don’t refer to him by a nickname…”
They snicker, knowing Malleus had regained his pouting expression, “Anyway.” Yuu leans back, squishing his cheeks in their hands again and smiling lovingly, “You wanna be my date tonight for the party?”
Malleus’s eyes glitter at the invite, only to dim a bit as he thought, “Would that be…fair to the others? We all are your lovers, isn’t it unfair to have only one of us as your date?”
“Jamil’s gift to Azul is to formally invite him as his date for tonight.” Yuu wished she would have been there to watch Azul try to keep his cool at Jamil’s invitation, “It's just an unspoken truth that you guys are all my dates anyway…”
“Ah, an unspoken truth, you say?” Malleus reaches up, holding Yuu's hands in his own before kissing their knuckles gently, “I shall accept your invitation, both spoken and unspoken.”
Yuu giggles, pulling their hands away to weave them through Malleus’s hair. Pressed against him as they lightly scratched at the base of his horns, feeling the purr he let out, “You charmer…Oh!” They could barely pull away from Malleus's embrace, ignoring the whiney growl that the dragon let out. 
They reach into the tote, pulling out a single slip of paper. Handing it to the confused dragon, they placed their head on his shoulder as he read it over. 
When he was done, Malleus's smile widens. He carefully tucks the ticket into his desk drawer, his free hand moving to trace along their collar bone, “May I leave a mark as well?”
“Not even gonna ask me about the ticket?” Yuu raises an eyebrow, eyeing the closed drawer with a mildly concerned eye. The ticket was labeled with ‘24 Hour Free Trial Breeding Pass’. A simple ‘Get out of contract consequences’ offering since Malleus seemed so keen on trying to change their agreement at every slight inconvenience. How getting pregnant will help them pass their algebra class, they weren’t sure…
“What is there to ask? I read it and know what it offers.” Malleus kissed along their jaw, chuckling under his breath  as he picked his spot to leave a mark, “I will collect my prize when I see fit.”
Well, that was only mildly concerning~♡
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tsukimefuku · 7 months ago
Text
Photo, motto!
Yuuji, Nobara and Megumi are shocked to learn you have no social media accounts, and decide to change that. However, things don't go as planned.
wc: 1.6K
tags: jujutsu kaisen, just crack honestly, slow-burn Nanami x OC/Reader, some fluff if you squint, the chaotic trio being chaotic (I love them).
This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". A sequence of short stories and one-shots related to Nanami x Reader x Higuruma. To see the ever-growing list of one-shots and short stories, please visit my masterlist :) 
Disclaimer: these stories are NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above.
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You were lazily flipping your finger on your phone's screen while you read an article on hydrangea's colors. Every time you flicked your finger, the phone took quite a few seconds to respond, rendering it a nearly daunting task. The thing was ancient by this point, but since you weren't much tech-savvy at all, you never bothered to get a new phone in these last 6 years.
The class was finished, and the first years were blabbering on about something. More specifically, Yuuji and Nobara were having a pretty heated debate about the best 'filter' — whatever the hell that was — to use on a photo before posting it, and Megumi sighed, refusing to break the tie between the two of them.
"Sensei!" Nobara exclaimed, pulling your attention.
"Hm, what?" You asked, having your eyes still glued to the screen of your phone, annoyed at how slow it was.
"We want to know if you find that a feed with no-filter photos is better than a feed with heavily edited photos!" Yuuji chirped in. "No filter is clearly better, real and all!"
"Are you two really going to harass sensei with that nonsense?" Megumi asked, annoyed.
"Of course! And just so you know, I want my pictures to look pretty, not realistic, duh." Nobara answered, not realizing Megumi had used the word nonsense.
"Oh, I can definitely tell that from your feed!" Yuuji replied jokingly, prompting Nobara to pull him by his collar, ready to sucker punch his face.
"What are you guys on about?" You finally asked, looking up. "Filter? Feed? What?"
They stopped for a second and the trio looked at you, perplex.
"You don't have a Picgram* account?" To your surprise, the one to ask that was Megumi. Even with the nonchalant facade, he was still a teenager, after all.
*Yes, I'm avoiding saying other social network names in this, sorry about the cringe.
"The what now?" You asked, earnestly, having Yuuji and Nobara look shell shocked.
"What do you mean you don't know what it is?" Nobara inquired, incredulous. "It's just the most famous social network in all of Japan!"
"Oh, I don't care much about those. I just use my phone for texts, calls, taking pictures, read, listen to music, and that's about it."
"Ah, sensei, you must create an account, then!" Yuuji said, spirited, releasing himself from Nobara's death grip and frolicking towards you.
"Hm, okay, I guess. Good luck trying to do anything on that phone, though" you said, having him sit beside you. After Yuuji took your phone on his hands — cracked screen, unkempt as hell, and clearly in overtime duty, his face contorted in horror.
Nobara came and stepped towards you both, taking in the decrepit state of your smartphone with her eyes.
"Sensei, maybe you should get a new phone?" Yuuji inquired, gently.
"Not maybe. Surely. This is just about to crumble to pieces" Nobara noted.
Megumi crept up behind the other two students.
"Oh, come on, it's not that bad" you replied, scratching your head.
"It definitely is" Megumi stated, unprompted. "Jujutsu sorcerers are well paid, sensei. You can afford one."
"It's not that I can't afford one, Fushiguro, I just don't need a new phone" you replied, lifting an eyebrow in annoyance. "Just get on with it and do the thing."
"Eh, fine, fine!" Yuuji replied, opening your browser app. He basically set up your account, followed his own and Gojo's accounts, and then motioned himself by your side to show you how it worked.
"So, here are your messages" he pointed to the corner of the screen.
Obviously those were the text messages, that was a worldwide used icon since the nineties.
"I figured out that much, Itadori" you answered, asking yourself when did these teens begin thinking you were so technologically inept.
He cleared his throat and said, "sorry". 
You saw a message coming in from Gojo. Upon clicking, you and Yuuji waited for a few seconds until it opened. It was a greeting dog sticker. Of course.
"Well, and how does this work?"
"Down here, you can pick a photo to post, and you basically follow people on the app to see the photos they post, comment on them, give them a like and things like that!" Yuuji answered.
"Hey, Yuuji, did you have sensei follow me?" Nobara asked.
"Let me show her how to post a picture first" he lied, pressing on the plus icon.
When he pressed it, multiple images of flowers and plants appeared, having some landscapes sprinkled across your photo library.
"Oh, these are beautiful!" Yuuji said, delighted.
"Let me see!" Nobara exclaimed, butting her head beside Yuuji, and gasping. "Oh, the flowers, they're pretty!"
"Oh" you huffed out, smiling, slightly embarrassed. "Thank you, I guess."
Then, Yuuji and Nobara went silent for a moment, something very uncharacteristic for them.
"Hm?" You hummed.
They both seemed to be slightly blushing and said nothing.
"What is it?" Megumi asked, butting himself on Yuuji's other side and widening his eyes a little. "Oh. Uh..." He began, "I-I've been to that bakery, it's very good."
What the hell?
You got up and stood beside them, realizing that they had caught you red-handed. 
On the screen, was a picture you had taken of Nanami in one of your missions, clearly without him seeing it or noticing you did so. He just seemed so satisfied and happy munching on his ciabatta sandwich that you just had to take a picture of that.
"H-hey, just-" you stuttered, blushing violently. "Students, stop messing on my photo library!"
"I'm sorry!" Yuuji said, fumbling your phone back at you. It fell on the table, and when you got a hold of it again, your blood ran cold.
The photo had accidentally been posted.
"Uh?! Posted?! What?!" 
The trio paled in an instant.
"I- I'm so so so sorry, oh my-" Yuuji was stuttering, completely mortified, hands covering his mouth.
"God..." Megumi said, sighing deeply. "I'll be outside waiting for you guys to finish this."
"Itadori, stop. Stop talking" you stated, inhaling deeply. "Nobara, please delete this" you said, handing her the phone.
She tapped on the screen, first delicately, then stronger, following a sequence of angry, nervous taps.
"W-what? What is going on?" You inquired, also mortified.
"It's frozen" she answered. 
Oh, for fuck's sake.
***
Gojo was reveling on a matcha ice cream while he roamed the streets of Tokyo.
As the sorcerer walked, he got a notification on his phone. Upon checking, he realized you had followed him on Picgram, and promptly followed you back, sending his classic dog greeter on your DM's.
Given that he wasn't doing much, Gojo decided to doomscroll for a while, checking out the feed for some minutes, and realized there wasn't anything particularly interesting.
After refreshing, however, a photo of Nanami, that had clearly been taken without him noticing, appeared on his feed.
Checking the profile, Gojo realized you were the one to post the picture, and took a print-screen of it as he laughed mischievously to himself.
Oh, this is going to be fun, he thought as he opened his text messages with Nanami.
GS: Hey, Nanamin!
NK: Don't call me that. 
GS: I have something for you.
NK: ... What?
***
You and Nanami were at the usual bar for yet another drinking session after work. He had just told you about his mission for the day, and you were about to tell him about the students' debacle, just before stopping in your tracks. 
You were both silent for a few moments.
"So, do you remember that bakery? The one that has a great ciabatta with pesto that we went a few weeks ago?" He inquired, lifting his glass of whiskey to take a sip.
You looked at him suspiciously. "Yes, I remember."
"I think we should go there tomorrow. I wanted to try the newer options from the menu, their bread is exquisite" Nanami answered, still holding his glass up.
"Uh, sure, I guess." This is very sus.
"Maybe..." the ratio sorcerer said, gravely lowering his glass on the bar counter, "we should also take a picture, their food is very well presented, after all."
Oh, no.
"Nanami, I'm so so so sorry! I just thought you looked so happy with your sandwich, it was an accident, the first years are relentless, I didn't mean to-"
Nanami was clearly amused hearing your apologies as he nonchalantly took another sip from his drink, unwavering.
When you were done blabbering, Nanami held the urge to smile, as he resumed speaking.
“What was that you used to call me back at Odate?” The sorcerer asked, filled with satisfaction, ready to deal the killing blow with no mercy at all.
"Oh, come on, Nanami! Please don't." 
Your pleads fell on deaf ears.
"Oh, I think I remember” Nanami said, vindication from ten years of teasing stewing under the monotone of his voice. 
“Don’t you dare, Nanami...” you warned, vermilion face pulsing with embarrassment.
“You used to call me ‘stalker’" he stated, highlighting the last word, before he proceeded. "So, how does it feel to actually be one?”
“Nanami, come on, I'm not a stalker! Ugh” you sighed, covering your face in shame.
This time, he couldn't hold the amusement grin.
You grunted before proceeding. “Guess I’ve earned this one, but come on, that was ten years ago! How did you hold on to that grudge for so long?”
Except it wasn’t a grudge. Well, maybe just a little bit.
I need a new phone.
--
End notes:
This one was so fun to write. About the "stalker" thing, it's referring to my mid-long fic, Sand and Snow (you can check it out here), given that reader is based off of my OC from S&S :) Hope you had fun! xoxo
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poppadom0912 · 1 year ago
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Hi! You have so many good Chicago stories! I had an idea for a Will Halstead fic, if you'd be interested... OC/Reader is a nurse at Med, she and Will are a (newish?) couple. She has been sick or hurt, but isn't telling Will, to avoid worrying him - Sharon (or someone) has been on his ass, for something he didn't do of course, but he's been under a microscope, so she doesn't want to bother or distract him - until she passes out or ends up in an OR (depending on the illness/injury) and he finds out after the fact... Heavy on the angst is always good ;)
A/N: I'm a sucker for angst. Hope this is good enough. I tried researching as accurately as possible but there might be inaccuracies.
I'm posting this is celebration of not failing my exams which means no resitting! I didn't get the high grades I wanted but we move on. Enjoy!! Hope this is good enough.
Warnings: Canon-typical injuries, blood, angst w a happy ending, surgery
*****
Becoming a nurse was inevitable for you because it was the next best thing after a doctor and you didn't want to go through all those extra years of learning and debt.
You were born with a congenital heart defect as a result of your mother poorly caring for her diabetes during pregnancy. All your life, your parents had been on top of your health, always dragging you to specialists and making sure you were still taking your meds.
You moved states several years ago and now you weren't constantly reminded of the defect you were born with.
There were times though when you did get forgetful and Will never complained about your bad trait that you couldn't handle, he shrugged it off and made sure your health was one hundred percent.
Your relationship was in the honeymoon phase, six months in you were both decently comfortable. Everyone was aware of your relationship but you both agreed to keep work at work and home at home.
Recently, Will was under extra scrutiny from Sharon because of a small incident that happened in the ED when his brother rolled up bleeding from his shoulder. No one could blame him for his reaction, it was completely justified but that hospital were being asses and wouldn't let go.
Following this, your interactions at work decreased at your suggestion to make things a little easier for him. And at first, it was working but then it just got straight up frustrating.
All of a sudden, following the intense summer heatwave, everyone's workload doubled and your hours never lined up. You'd be leaving and he'd be preparing for his second double shift of the week.
And things only got worse from there. You were so busy because of the nurse shortages that your priorities began shifting, your health dwindling down the list.
But no one needed to know that.
*****
Week One
"And that's me done, you ready to break?" Will asked, setting aside the tablet on the desk. You both took your breaks together as much as you could, any time you could get together you would take.
"Yes I am." You nodded, slipping your hand into his as you began walking out of the ED. "I remember someone promising coffee from the cart outside."
Will chuckled, rolling his eyes at the reminder of the expensive coffee sitting outside that you loved. Just as he was going to reply, Maggie shouting your name stopped him.
Sighing, your heart felt heavy both figuratively and literally. With a sheepish smile, you pecked him on the cheek with a promise to catch him later on during shift.
Not being able to get a word in, Will simply watched you scurry off to help the next incoming patient, leaving him to change directions towards the cafeteria.
*****
Week two
You should've been more attentive but being short of breath after a run wasn't uncommon. It was early morning and Will's side of the bed was empty so you took what used to be a daily run alone.
As the day progressed, you started feeling tired and your fatigue progressed. It should've been the first sign to you that you needed to slow down and take care of yourself but the next shooting in Chicago just couldn't wait.
"Y/N, are you okay?" April asked, standing besides you with a new file in hand. "You look pale."
"I'm fine." You assured her, nodding as you licked your drying lips. "And before you ask, Will doesn't know and doesn't need to be interrupted, he has a patient in the ICU."
April backed away apprehensively, always trying to check up with you whenever time permitted. Maybe she was also to blame for not being more forceful with her concerns.
It wasn't her fault that she forgot you had a heart disease.
*****
Week three
"I love you so much." You muttered against his forehead before stepping away to leave the dark bedroom.
Will stirred slightly at the contact, shifting under the covers and further messing up his curls you so badly wanted to delve your fingers into but you were on a time crunch.
Just as you were leaving the room, your chest clenched, pain suddenly overtaking you. Clutching onto the door frame, your grip slacked and your bag dropped causing Will to wake up.
"What's wrong?" Will asked in his half awake state, completely disheveled. He was blinking the sleep away while he turned to you and tried to see what was wrong but failed due to severe sleep deprivation.
"Are you okay? What happened?" He continued, voice hoarse like it usually was after a deep sleep
For some reason, you struggled to form words, your chest feeling as though it was being stabbed repeatedly.
And for some reason, you couldn't come up with a logical excuse and you stupidly left without a word to your lover.
*****
Week four
You couldn't ignore it anymore.
It felt like your body was starting to give up on you. You were constantly tired and out of breath and the chest pains never let up, at times, they even doubled and felt worse than the worst of your period cramps.
The biggest flashing red warning sign should've been when you fainted in the bathroom after your shower.
You came home shattered from your 24 hour shift. Just as you walked in the door, Will was leaving for his 48 hour shift. At this point, you really felt like the world was against you.
You were kinda like roommates more than romantic partners. You were barely at home together and at work, you tried to keep interactions to a minimum after the small incident that the board was elevating ridiculously.
Waking up on the bathroom rug, your body felt numb almost paralysed. It was like what movies described comas to be but your chest was still pulsating in pain.
You weren't being a really good nurse because you simply got up, drank some water and ate some food before sleeping it off.
*****
Week five
The silence was suffocating.
The two of you finally got more than two minutes together but words somehow failed you.
With droopy eyes and furrowed brows, your hands itched to grab the blue scrubs covering your chest. If it wasn't for your boyfriend sitting opposite you, you would've been hunched over the sinks in the women's room.
"What's wrong?" It was a question but with that tone, it felt more like a demand. His two words hit you hard, your eyes dragging from the table up to his big brown eyes filled with nothing but eternal love and concern. "And don't say nothing cause that's clearly bullshit."
And for some reason, you flinched.
Licking your chapped lips, you scrunched your eyes closed at the pain encasing your heart. Despite being back on your medication, the pain didn't cease.
"Y/N? Baby-"
"CODE SILVER. CODE SILVER IN THE ED."
*****
Today
For the past week, Will was hypervigilant about his work. Peter kalmik was never his biggest fan so it didn't help he was constantly making his presence known along with the more power holding board members.
You hated how he no longer fought his case and he just conformed, keeping his head buried in the sand and distanced himself from those he cared about.
It got to such a point that when Jay came in with only work intentions, Will physically forced himself to stay well away.
You were so caught up in your concern for him that you neglected your medication on the kitchen counter.
The pain today all of a sudden increased tenfold in the middle of shift. You were helping Doris turn over a treatment room, listening as she talked about her family drama that you loved to hear about when you felt the world come to an abrupt stop.
Before you knew it, breath escaped you and darkness enveloped you.
“Y/N?!” Doris shouted, going around the bed and crouching down besides your unconscious body.
As she started checking your pulse and your breathing, Connor ran in with Maggie in tow having witnessed you fall from the nurses desk.
In a flurry of rushed movements, you were placed on a bed as your friends searched for the cause of your unconscious state. Out of the blue, Maggie spoke up, reminding everyone of your heart condition.
Equipped with the new but old information, the cardiothoracic surgeon was now more than confident he was able to help you.
"Whose her emergency contact? Is it still her parents or has it been changed to Will?" Connor asked the charge nurse as they started wheeling the gurney towards the elevators. They needed to get you into surgery as soon as possible before you deteriorated.
"Good question."
"Page him anyways."
"Already on it."
*****
"I'm a horrible boyfriend."
"No you're not."
"All the signs were there and I missed them."
"We did too."
"I know Connor is one of the best but what if-"
"I'm going to stop you right there." Maggie cut him off, looking at him sternly, eerily resembling the face of a mother telling off her child. "This is no ones fault and you know that, stop punishing yourself for something no one could control."
Will opened his mouth to interject but stopped himself when Maggie held her hand up. "Yes, maybe Y/N should've taken better care of herself but as a doctor, you know that this surgery was inevitable anyways."
"It's better that she was already in the hospital and not home alone where no one would've noticed till you finished in another eight hours." Maggie continued, being more gentle as she got her point across. She was just as concerned but for everyone else's sake, she could be their pillar.
"Look at her Will." Maggie said, gently rubbing him on the back, hopefully bringing him some comfort. "She's in the best hands."
And of course Will knew that, he wouldn't say it to Connor's face but the man was a heck of a surgeon. There was no one else he would want operating on you but he was simply unnerved to no end.
He couldn't wipe off this icky feeling he had. It lurked around him like a shadow and stuck to him like a stain. He felt like a failure - he was unable to help you as both a doctor and a boyfriend - what good was he?
News spread of your collapse around the hospital and as an automatic response, the hospital board stepped metres away from Will, almost like he was sick with a deathly contagious disease.
It was so stupid that it was funny.
Will wanted to rip his hair out. How he was even standing watching your surgery was beyond him right now. He felt sick to his stomach at the sight of your chest cracked open, your heart just there for the world to see.
He never felt so useless before.
*****
Waking up was one of the most confusing scenarios you've ever been in. The last thing you remembered was being in the ED with Doris before blinking and the next thing you knew, you were waking up in recovery.
Your body felt like the heaviest gym weights were sat on you. Your mouth unbelievably dry as your eyes squinted in the dim lighting, trying to look around the room for any sign of life.
And right by your bedside, sleeping in a very awkward position was the man you considered the love of your life.
It must've been the movement of your head, you literally turning your head less than 90 degrees that woke him up because without any further prompting, Will was no longer dead to the world.
Instantly, he was alive and alert, no trace of sleep anywhere on his face as he made eye contact with you.
He felt as light as a feather to see you awake, the biggest weight being lifted off his chest from the relief that nothing went wrong despite knowing Connor made no mistake at all.
"Pulmonary valve stenosis." Was the first thing Will said, easily recognising the confusion painting your face. "Connor put in a balloon. They'll keep you for probably a week to monitor you to see if you need a valvotomy."
You hummed, letting him know that you understood everything he told you without talking. Somehow, without even looking at him, he knew and brought forth a cup with a straw in, holding it to your mouth allowing you to sip easily.
"I'm so sorry Y/N." Will said earnestly, his eyes shimmering as he intertwined your fingers with his. "I wasn't paying enough attention to you otherwise-"
"Stop." You interrupted him, voice still slightly hoarse from not using it. "Blaming yourself helps no one."
"What's done is done." You continued, squeezing his hands when he squeezed yours first. "I'm really the one to blame. If I took care of myself and did something when I first was having problems then we wouldn't be here."
Silence followed, the only sound being the constant beeping from all the machines attached to you.
"Never faint on me again, you hear me?"
"Can't promise you that babes."
"Yes you can."
"You're hilarious Will."
"No, I'm being serious Y/N."
"Don't make me laugh, where's Connor Rhodes, my favourite doctor?"
"Very funny, I think I'll buy April expensive cart coffee next time."
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ateez-himari · 23 days ago
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Hi bb!!!!! It's been a long tine since I've popped into your inbox hehe🤭🤭but I had these questions in mind and I wanted to ask them cause I literally couldn't stop thinking about them hmm now first on the list:
1-this is inspiredd by the countless fights that armys and blinks have buttt has mimi ever gotten hate from blinks because she's related to one of the bts members, and does she openly talk about blackpink since they're her sunbaes cause I feel like her being the sister of one of the members of a group who is always set as a rival of bp will make some blinks hate her(I love blinks hope no one misunderstands)
2-this was actually inspired by another ateez addition blog(@ateezjieun)where they basically explained that their oc and woo had a fight and fans noticed it and stuff cause like they weren't talking to each other etc... And I was wondering has mimi ever had a similar thing happen with any of her other members and if so did fans catch on or was it handled professionally
3-are there any idols who are friends with bts who tried to get closer to jieun, like for an example them asking for her number or something (and I'm thinking the members obv said no)
4-this one is me being way too delulu about our couple, and I was wondering has hima ever done the booty shaking challenges (water,smart,sticky,wait,and the work challenge atiny ver) and has mingi ever been at the crime scene or what was his reaction to her doing it
5-technically this isn't a question but like I can picture mingi and hima going live at the most random moments and hima blabbering about whatever and mingi looking at her with his big smile 😭
6-has mingi's mom ever taught mimi her special dishes from her restaurant I can picture them bonding over this stuff
Love you bb!!! And don't forget to stay hydrated and don't overwork yourself mwahh💕💕
My Muse I'm so happy to see you! 🥰I saw this right when my shift ended and the way I almost ran home to write it- (these questions are legitimately so good)
° Since there's no direct correlation between ATEEZ and Blackpink considering the difference in generation they've never truly seen a need to attack her in order to bring BTS down. There are some random fans that feel the need to express how they believe she only got into ATEEZ because of her brother's fame, or doesn't deserve the title of producer since she probably got these jobs thanks to Yoongi anyway. Hima barely talks about Blackpink since she's not much of a Blink but when 'New Woman' came out she did talk to Atiny a lot about it (she loves it...I'm definitely projecting right here)
° Hima is a very expressive person and has trouble with hiding aversion towards certain people or situations, so when she fought with Hongjoong after their Tokyo anchor in 2023 people noticed that she wouldn't so much as go near him. Atiny realized that while the maknae always gravitates towards Matz during the encore, she would only interact with Seonghwa. Conflict always gets resolved relatively quickly between her and other members since they're usually nothing more than slight disagreements, but this was the biggest fight so far in the group's career that not even Seonghwa could fix
After the accident he was so terrified that it ended up turning burning anger which blew up on her the moment they got back to the hotel room, Hongjoong yelling about how reckless she had been, how because of her idiocy she died for 3 minutes, she never listens, "when will you stop being so fucking naive", "you're not a child anymore grow the fuck up", etc. That night the members accepted that the group dynamic would never be the same again because of the things that were said between the two of them (although they resolved it days later and are now closer than ever)
° Due to the age difference there were not many people who wanted her number in order to get closer to her, mainly artists that want to work with her. The ones who were brave enough approached the other members thinking that they wouldn't truly care because she's not THEIR little sister but they couldn't have been more wrong, not only did they tell Yoongi about it, but they made sure to let these people know their career would end the second they got within 1km of her. Some people stationed with the members did try to joke about how it was "too bad that she has a boyfriend" and very nearly got murdered, especially by beefy Jungkookie
° She's done quite a few challenges like this; Smart (Le Sserafim), Sticky & Midas Touch (hehe get it because Hand of Midas) (Kiss of Life), Jump & Water (Tyla) and Guilty (Taemin...they had an entire dance challenge upload frenzy in not even 24 hours where they danced to almost all of his songs) and even uploaded a very spicy dance cover of Be My Baby (Ariana Grande)
Mingi was almost always at the scene of the crime since they were filmed at music shows and he was trying to hard not to hyperventilate in front of everyone, he just stood to the side with a hand in front of his mouth pretending he was focusing on the choreography...but she performed for him when they were alone if you know what I mean😏(He has to try so hard not to cover his girlfriend's ass-)
° They almost always go live together nowadays especially when abroad and she gets talkative very quickly, going on about the smallest things in her life, pondering over what kind of food they should order, etc, while Mingi sits in the corner of the screen pretending to look at his phone when in reality he's smiling because she's adorable
We know Mingles gets needy for love and attention, so he always ends up cuddling up to her, playing with her hair and looking at her with the brightest boba eyes as if whatever she's saying is the most interesting thing 🥺
° Mingi's mom loved Hima the second the two of them met - he would argue she loves his girlfriend more - and when she found out she liked to cook she immediately offered to teach her every recipe she knows. Since she doesn't have a daughter she was more than happy to spend entire afternoons in the kitchen teaching her future daughter-in-law
Also 'Mimi' is so cute 😭It's the sweetest most fitting nickname for her. Don't worry I'm not overworking myself! Love you too Mina, MWAAHH 😘💕
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On My Mama Pt 2
Shuri x Fem Reader, Fem Reader x OC
I'm new to the tag list and tagging so bare with me if I left anyone out just let me know and I'll add it in.
Tags: @mixedfandxms @shurislover @sweetalittleselfish-honey @desswright29
Side note: I had an idea for a fic with Jada Kingdom Reader (looks) and Shuri, maybe ShuRiri. I'm Jamaican so you know seh big tunes ah guh run. 💥 reader could be an aspiring model trying to break into music and she meets Shuri or Shuriri at an event and they decide to produce her music wanting to do a fusion between Jamaican, African and American music. And a whole lotta smut and messy, toxic shit in between. 😮‍💨
-
I be in the section dolo, baby, oh
You chose to go to the club on a Friday night, you'd been ducking Riri and Shuri for days. Expensive gifts were delivered daily, Beautiful flower arrangements, your favorite foods. Things you wanted but had no clue as to how they knew that.
Some girl you barely knew invited out out with her group of friends. You weren't very interested at first as you knew girls were catty and competitive by nature and you weren't interested in having to be on the defense all night. You'd done the trying to be a girl's girl before and it never worked out. Girls tended to be weird and you had no time nor energy for the bullshit.
Making acquaintances was the goal. You couldn't spend all your time in college doing nothing but doing work and keeping your head in the books. You wanted some fun, some irresponsibility. You were tired of being a 'good girl' someone that was a people pleaser. You had no people to please any longer. Your mother was a cheating whore and your father the star of your eyes was gone.
Your look + Outfit (with a more subtle eye look)
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The club was lit. You noticed many POC students from campus. Which wasn't surprising as this club was marketed towards POC's on the low. Owned by a black couple, and ran with POC staff. It was a safe space for POC's to have fun without fear of harm.
"Y/n, I'm a little miffed. I invited you out and you out here making us all look bad." Gina says, her eyes narrowing at you playfully.
"Girl hush, she couldn't do normal if she tried. Even in casual wear with no makeup she looks hot." Nina giggles, greeting you with a hug.
"I'd kill for your looks and figure..." Gina pouts. You laugh at her. "No wonder your mom's a model. You need to follow in her footsteps, all that damn beauty."
"I'm good. Beauty and Brains is the goal. I'd rather be known for being pretty and a genius rather than pretty and an airhead hoe." You shrug and the girls look between each other in shock. "My mother isn't my favorite person so you'll never hear a compliment out of my mouth about her so it's better to not bring her up."
"Noted..." Gina muttered, clearing her throat. You could practically hear the silent judgment.
"Let's go get some drinks." Nina suggests, leading the way to the bar.
"I want a margarita." Gina calls to one of the bartenders. A pretty tall caramel skinned girl with highlighted curls and a bright smile.
Bartender
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"Make that two." Nina agrees.
"I'll have whatever you think is best." You say, watching the girl eye you seductively.
"Coming right up, gorgeous." You bite your lip as she looks you over as she makes the drinks. The look she was giving you had you weak in the knees already.
"Oooh..." Gina giggles, bumping your shoulder. "She feeling you..."
"Here ya'll go." She places each drink down, before handing yours to you. "This one's new, I'm sure it tastes just as good as you look."
You fight the urge to break out in a cheesy smile. Her fingers grazing yours as you take the glass. You down the drink, eyes widening at the sweet yet potent taste that slid down your throat. You felt slightly hot as she smirked at you.
"Ok... I'll have what she's having!" Nina says, wide eyed. The bartender laughs but nods.
"Lord Ha'Mercy I'm too gay for this." Nina fans herself. You smile a genuine smile. Something you hadn't done in a very long time.
"What's your name ?" The bartender asks, as she passes Nina her drink and a hands you a refill.
"Why should I tell you?" You raise a brow, while nibbling on your bottom lip.
"Ok, Smiley it is." She licks her lip and you internally fan girl. "You have such a beautiful smile."
You're making me forget my past
"I'm Jess by the way." She adds.
"Ok, Jess by the way. Thanks for the drinks." You say, your tone playful. You grab a $20 and slide it towards her before heading to the dance floor. You wanted to let loose and have fun, and a small part of you wanted to show off for her.
You let your body sway to the beat, your head slightly tilted back as you gyrates your hips to the beat. As you danced your mind went to Shuri, the lyrics swirling in your head. Your eyes snapped open wanting to remove her from your mind.
You'd been trying to stop thinking about her. You couldn't help your attraction to her, she did something to you but you refused to go there. She was the cause of your family's downfall. She'd been with your mother. It was disgusting to even be thinking about her after that.
Your eyes locked with Jess and you put every effort into seducing her. Something that wasn't so hard since she seemed interested in you. You needed Shuri the fuck out of your head and Jess seemed like the perfect way to do that.
You were sure fucking with Riri would work two fold. Take your mind off Shuri and fuck her over at the same time. Yet you couldn't stand the fact that Riri was friends with the girl. She was bright and from what you'd heard she was by all accounts a morally good person.
The two being friends made no sense to you. How could you trust someone so messy and chaotic unless you had that in you as well? Maybe Riri was better at hiding her dirt and kept it on the low. Regardless you weren't interested in finding out.
As the song finished and you went to make your way back to the bar a familiar face stopped in front of you. She looked bothered, and you couldn't find a fuck to give.
"I see you've gotten my gifts." Riri eyes your body in the outfit she's sent you. You wore it hoping she'd see you in it because you wanted to prove a point to the duo one you knew would be relayed if the other wasn't present.
"And I see you weren't listening." You deadpan. "But if you'd like to send me stuff who am I to stop you? It's giving fan behavior, and I find that very amusing."
"Oh, so you got jokes?" Riri cracks up. She steps closer, her body almost touching yours. "You can continue acting like you don't want me but we both know you secretly like my attention. You like being chased and that's fine. Just know once you get caught, you'll have to beg for my attention."
"Your head being big clearly fits you, Williams." You say her name with malice.
"And that's not the only thing big." You can tell by her tone exactly what she's talking about but you choose not to acknowledge it.
"Well have a good rest of your night." You dismiss her before stepping around her and heading back towards the bar. You see that Nina and Gina are gone. You look around to see them with the other people they were supposed to meet up.
"So Riri's your thing?" Jess says, settling back in front of you.
"Thing?"
"Your type." She clarifies, her eyes sparkling. She had the prettiest eyes you'd seen.
"I think the only type you need to worry about is yourself." You flirt. She raises a brow.
"Word?"
"What do you say to heading home with me?" You get straight to the point, watching as she grins.
"Oh you go for what you want, huh?" She seems impressed. You simply stare at her. "We can head out right now."
She walks over to some guy and they talk for a bit before she gathers her things from under the bar and motions for you to follow her. She leads the way to her car, a black Camry with blue and black interior. Her rims are even blue and her windows tinted.
-
The next morning you're woken by Jess with her skillful tongue and you take pleasure in the fact that you're loud. She'd put you to work the whole night, and you'd returned the favor showing her exactly how much you appreciated her attention.
You sighed as you piled your straight hair into a messy bun and pulled on a oversized t-shirt and walked her to your dorm door. You yawned as you let her out and thanked her for coming over. You made a note to text her for another session as she was definitely a generous and thoughtful lover.
As you watched her leave and was about to close your door you watched in victory as Riri walked towards her dorm room. She'd left at some point in the early hours of the morning, slamming her door. You knew she was jealous and that thought sent chills of satisfaction throughout your body.
"Good morning, Williams." You said, smirking as she clenched her jaw. "Sorry about the noise. I'll try to be quieter next time."
And with that you closed the door with an enthusiastic kick. The message you'd sent very clear. Little did you know, you'd just started a war. One you wouldn't win.
-
Your day was starting to turn to shit as your RA left your dorm. Angry was an understatement. You knew someway somehow your current predicament was curtesy of Riri. You couldn't prove it but you knew it was her.
You'd been reported for having an off campus visitor spend the night. A violation that meant you lost your dorm. You were pissed. You'd already made your dorm home. Decorated it how you wanted and even saged it to clear any bad energy out. Clearly it hadn't worked.
You were being moved to another building where you'd have two roommates. The only upside being you had a room and there weren't many rules. You just hated the fact you had to share a space with people you barely knew in closer and smaller quarters.
It took you the whole day and the help of the sisters Nina and Gina. Once you'd moved into the new apartment, you noticed the apartment was huge. You looked around, steering clear of the other bedrooms not wanting to invade anyone's private spaces.
The apartment was styled nicely. By the door was a shoe rack with dope sneakers, expensive heels and slides. You could tell whoever your roommates were they came from money.
You were so exhausted you knocked out on the sofa watching some old show.
A loud sound and a cuss woke you up. As your eyes adjusted to the dark you could barely make out two figures.
"Hello?" You called out, you knew you locked the door so the two had to be your roommate. The light was switched on and you instantly jumped up, anger building in you.
"Are you fucking serious!?!?!?!" You bellow.
"Told you she'd be happy to see us." Riri wiggled her brows, bumping Shuri.
"Y...you..." You couldn't find the words to express what you were feeling.
"Chill ma, we just thought you'd like some company." Riri grins, heading for the kitchen.
"Stop antagonizing her, Ri." Shuri speaks up, her demeanor is different. You glare at the duo.
"Fuck you look so good when you're pissed." Riri chuckles, grabbing a water and taking a sip. "Adorable really."
Realizing there wasn't much you could do, you swallowed down all the things you wanted to say and headed for your room. You slammed it, locking it behind you.
They didn't know what they'd started but you were damn sure going to finish it. You started scheming.
💕
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hangmanssunnies · 2 years ago
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Good Comes In 3
House We Share: Double Tap, Sfumato, Good Comes In 3
Summary:  You and Jake navigate what it means to spend six months apart. Then, when he does come home, you two have to evaluate precisely what feelings you have for each other and also what a future together could mean. You just aren't sure he will ever forgive you for starting a puzzle without him. 
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Pairings: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Fem! Civilian! Reader, minor Javy "Coyote" Machado x OC
Word count: 34K
AO3 Link
Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, Abuse (Implied), Slow burn, routines and compulsions, Jigsaw puzzles, Rejection, Drinking, Arguments, Yearning, Deployment, communication, Fertility problems, miscarriage (discussed), menstruation (discussed and lightly described), close female friendships, Depressive episodes, PTSD, roommates to lovers, love confessions, hyper-specific!Jake, Neurodivergent coded! Jake. Please let me know if I missed any for this part; I know it is a long one.
An: Unfortunately, this last part was too long to post altogether here on Tumblr. So I have included the first half here, the rest can be read on AO3 though. My first reblog of this here on Tumblr has the other half as well. I apologize for the inconvenience.
Thank you for taking this journey with me. Thank you all for loving this version of Jake. There were so many things I wanted to include and finish off for these two. While I couldn't include everything, I hope you enjoy what I did.
Thank you so much if you take a chance to read this work. I hope you enjoy it. My inbox is always open if you want to let me know your thoughts. Reblogs with your thoughts, opinions, and tags are gold to me. I love reading through them.
"Jake looked tired. Has he told you how he's been sleeping?" Marlee asks you curiously while chatting with you on the phone. The question causes your stomach to roll in a deep dive, and it takes you a moment to find the composure to respond. 
"No, I haven't heard," you manage to tell her. Setting down the piece of fruit you had been about to eat, you lean back against the kitchen counter. 
"Ah, well, will you ask him about it whenever you next talk? He wouldn't answer Javy or me about it when we asked."
"You and Javy are joined at the hip, practically the same person sometimes. Do you find that shocking?" You ask Marlee teasingly. Marlee chuckles at your comment. Her smile betrays her true feelings, though she likes how in sync she and Javy are generally considered. 
"We are sometimes." Marlee concedes but then says frankly, "But even when Javy had his individual call with Jake, he wouldn't say. And you are the only other person I can imagine him opening up to," 
"I'll mention it next time I talk to him," you manage to say. It would just be one of the many things that you were supposed to be talking to Jake about on his deployment. It was easier to go along with their assumption than to flay your chest open and let the hurt you felt pour out. 
Sometimes it's better, easier, to keep the kind of pain you felt to yourself. Bundled close and protected. To expose it would just make it hurt all the more. The idea of anyone, especially your closest friends, knowing you weren't important enough, or you had scared Jake away, or made some other mishap was mortifying. How could you go about explaining what had transpired? You weren't sure you could explain it. Also, Javy and Marlee had plenty of other things and people to worry about without having to add you higher on their list than you were already placed. You felt bad each week when one of them called you to check in begging, sometimes demanding that you hang out with them. 
"Okay, I'll talk to you later then, babes. I love you!"
"I love you too, Marlee," you say, giving her the sweetest, kindest tone you can muster up. You end the call and walk over to the chalkboard in the kitchen. 
Jake normally would draw seasonal decorations on it, but you had cleared it to be blank for notes months ago. The only thing on the board is a list you had titled: things to talk to Jake about. You add 'sleeping habits' to the bottom and frown. Reading through the list makes tears prick at the back of your eyes, and a lump forms in your throat. You hold the eraser poised for a moment, ready to trash the entire list, but you don't manage to follow through and drop the eraser, letting it fall to the ground. 
You walk through the house, checking the locks and turning off the lights. The sadness and frustration you feel in you is still bubbling as you pass where Jake had unceremoniously left the large Juniper chest. You glare at it just like you do every night. 
The morning Jake left, he'd woken you up with his thumb tracing your pulse point. His soft mostly lidded eyes trained on you, neither of you said anything just laying there quietly memorizing the moment. Neither of you could bear to get up until after the third alarm rang. The sun still hadn't crested the horizon when Jake went to shower. While he was occupied you stole one of his large Navy shirts that had been washed so many times it was soft. You are reluctant to leave his room, but make your way to the kitchen starting some breakfast and Jake's morning tea. You were just adding the dollop of honey he likes when he came downstairs, fully dressed and ready to leave you. 
Jake thanked you sweetly, with a kiss pressed to your cheek. In the same breath he tried to steal the whisk out of your hand. You danced out of way holding the whisk out like a sword to ward him off. He had quickly grabbed the masher from the utensil jar and brandished it in response. Amusement filling his features. After a small chase around the kitchen which included a small clash of utensils, Jake got his way. You loved the way Jake's eyes crinkled and how charming his dimples and smile lines were. It was a look you almost always got anytime you let him do things for you. Jake had still let you help though, asking you to toast the sourdough bread, while he whipped the avocado, goat cheese, and honey together. Once it was the constituency he liked, Jake spread it on the toast sprinkling some sea salt on top. He made one for you as well, but you had already started cooking three eggs for him, and didn't really have an appetite. After Jake ate, you spent every minute waiting for Coyote to arrive for pick up wrapped tightly in Jake's arms.  
"There is one last thing I need before I go," Jake had said. 
"I can't give it to you this time," you said muffled, trying hard not to cry on his whites. 
"Just one smile." Jake pleaded with his large warm hand lifting your chin so he could stare at you intently again. 
"No, Jake." He frowned at your answer, eyebrows pulling tight together. 
"I suppose I've reached my limit on things I can take from you." Jake puffed out with a quiet sigh. The tip of Jake's nose had dragged softly across your forehead before pressing a soft kiss to the center. He lingered there, breathing you in.
"Thank you for everything, my sweet," Jake whispered quietly. 
Your breath hitched in your throat, and you tried to pull him as close and tight to you as possible again. Jake allowed you to hug him, but he didn't relax into the embrace like he normally would have. He was almost stiff in your hold, but one of his hands traced slowly over your back in a soothing motion. When Coyote's headlights had inevitably shown through the frosted window on the door, Jake carefully detangled himself from your arms. He lingered though practically trembling. 
"I can't do it," Jake whispered, leaving his forehead pressed to yours. 
"It's not optional, and there isn't anything Hangman can't do. Let alone something you've done before," you reassured him. It didn't seem to work as he tensed up more.
"Promise me you'll be okay," Jake had begged you. You had nodded yes in response, saying the word would have tasted too close to a lie. Jake's nose nudged yours and he asked again. The second time was much closer to a desperate demand, "promise me." 
"If you be safe," you had compromised, wanting to savor every second ticking by that you would never get back. This last time you would be in the same space sharing the same air, for an undetermined amount of time. With a resolve you knew you didn't possess, Jake mouthed the words goodbye he was so close that his lips brushed yours as he did so. With a shaky inhale, Jake stepped away from you. His first two steps hadn't hurt so much, but the third as he exited the front door took all the air with him, including the bit trapped in your lungs. It was a sense of instant emptiness you had never experienced before. Everything you wanted to do seemed impossible when you couldn't even breathe. So there was no running after him for one more stolen moment, no collapsing against the floor, sobbing until your throat was raw, no more reassuring green eyes you could look to for comfort. 
The hollow feeling that nestled into you was hard to find your balance with. You had thrown the lock on the door and stumbled through the house, ready to retreat back into Jake's bed. Well aware his scent would be gone sooner rather than later, you were determined to imprint as much of it to memory as possible. You are blindsided by pain shooting up your foot as you unexpectedly stubbed your toe. Cursing and looking down you realized there was now a new piece of furniture. Jake had left a hand made juniper chest Jake left sitting in the area between the living room and dining room. On top was a small note card with a watercolor of two very detailed puzzle pieces. 
You stare so hard at the water colored pieces trying to parse their meaning the focus of your visions started to blur. The rapid blink forced tears to lubricate the area. However, when there is one tear there are others quick to follow. Just as a tear had splashed against the edge of the card you recognized the duplicates of the last two pieces you and Jake had double tapped into your last puzzle. On the back of the card stock was the drawn design of the chest, with all of Jake's neat measurements noted. You traced over his neat handwriting, and you were quick to quell your disappointment not finding more. That confusion and disappointment was impossible to ignore when you had gone to see what was inside and it was locked, the latch refusing to open. 
Now, after 6 and ½ months of radio silence, the chest taunted you. His entire deployment, there hadn't been a single word to you. Your only source of information was occasionally hearing from Coyote and Marlee about how Hangman was doing. And there was the memory of him, a large empty house, and a locked chest that was too heavy for you to move. 
You kick the side of the chest as you walk past it. It has become a tradition for you – this small abuse of the furniture while pacing before bed was a small soothing habit that helped you work some of your worries out. Once the feeling of missing Jake had settled into a dull, steady pain there was room for anger. You were furious and the only thing you had to take it out on was this beautiful work of craftsmanship. Unshockingly, the chest had been well made – because why would Jake make something that was easy to take your anger out on. He couldn't even give you that small concession. Even though you aren't as angry anymore, kicking the chest has become a part of your nightly routine. 
The chest didn't just bother you because it was locked or a surprise gift you hadn't asked for. It also bothered you because of what it was made from. The juniper wood Jake used didn't match the boards he used for the puzzle table, which was a more common light juniper. The boards for the chest were such a deep red it looked purple. Jake made it from one of the logs that you had helped him strip. Seeing the chest felt like a reopening weeping sore; one bleeding from a formally treasured memory that was nestled close to your heart. 
Saturday mornings were always a wild card with Jake.It was the one day of the week you could never be 100% sure what his plans were. There were staples you could expect like his morning run, but after that who knew? Sometimes he would have plans to see his friends, other times he had a project, list of chores, plans with his "little brother", manuals to read or some other all day activity. He liked it to be all day. So Sometimes you liked to just lounge in the living room waiting to see what he was going to do before making any plans of your own. 
 "Hey, I'm going on a drive and run some errands. Anything you want me to pick up?" Jake says to you when he comes down the stairs one Saturday morning. 
"Oh, can I come with?"  
"Sure, if you want. It's going to be boring though," Jake warns you. 
"No, it won't," You protest, standing up and stretching. "I'd rather be with you. As long as you don't mind me tagging along?"
"Yeah, of course, sugar. I never mind when you tag along." Jake says with a wide smile. 
"Well, what's the errand so I know how to dress?"
"I'm going to meet an old friend." 
"Oh my god. Please be less ominous Jake"
"What would you like to hear, sugar?"
"Who exactly are we meeting?"
"We are meeting up with my friend, Jess." 
"And?"  
"And, and, and," Jake says, twirling his hand around the air before dramatically pointing to his watch. "We are already 4 minutes behind our schedule. I'll tell you right now that this is cutting into our farmers market time." "Farmer's Market is on the list?" 
"Of course it is sugar. And so is Target," Jake says in his ‘duh-voice’ that you actually hate, but also you love because it reminds you how easy this is supposed to be. How it's not supposed to be a second thought. The things you like are included and planned for without you having to ask.
You are scrambling up the stairs to get ready when Jake calls after you. "You don't actually have to rush!! I'll make up time on the road."
"You know I don't support your excessive speeding Jake!" you call back, grabbing what you thought you would need. 
"Bring socks for your heavy boots!" When you make it back downstairs Jake is tapping his pen aggressively against a notepad. 
"What am I going to need boots for?" You ask him suspiciously while going through your items. 
"Do you want car snacks? I packed some, and we can always stop to pick something else up." Jake asks you glancing up from his paper. 
"We don't have to have snacks; I know you don't like eating in the truck." 
Jake just shrugs and opens the door to the garage for you. "It's not a big deal, I'll add the car wash to my list for tomorrow." 
"I also got your truck slippers so you don't have to wear your boots for the drive," Jake tells you. It's so sweet you want to grab him in a tight hug. You squeeze your hands tight instead, waiting for the urge to pass. Jake helps you up into the passenger side of the truck. Just as he said, the soft fuzzy blanket you like, and the slippers Jake got you are laid out waiting. Jake helps you out of your boots and into the slippers, setting them in the back seat for later. Once you are fully settled and buckled, Jake closes your door. He checks that the garage door is locked before jumping in the truck himself. 
"Was I quick enough for you not to aggressively speed?" you ask when Jake gets into the driver's side and checks his mirrors. 
"I would hardly call it speeding," Jake complains. 
"It's a number above the speed limit sign. Therefore, it's speeding." You say, explaining it.  
"I literally fly ten times as fast as car speeds. Well, more like 9.9 but still when you round up. It's ten." Jake responds, 
"That is no excuse to be going 120 miles an hour, Jake." You say while rolling your eyes. 
"I'm just saying. I am perfectly capable of controlling a fast vehicle," he argues. 
"That's fine, and I am not invalidating that. However, you know just as well as I do, that everyone else doesn't have that same ability."
"You are so sassy!" Jake teases, clearly deciding to let the faux argument go. 
"I'm the sassy one? Sure," you say sarcastically, drawing out the word. However, you also decide to let it go. Instead you enjoy the start to your drive, getting music going and adjusting the temperature controls until they are just right. 
"So," you say after a bit, drawing out the word. "What are we driving to do?"
"It's nothing," Jake responds with a shrug. 
"Really? Nothing is the justification to wear the work boots you got me?"
"You can't live with a bit of mystery, can you?" Jake asks, but there is affection laid into his words. 
"No," You concede with a joking sigh, "which is what makes you so infuriating sometimes."  
"I do strive to live as a man of mystery," Jake says amused.  
"Oh really, is that what your next move is? Retire, so you can become an American James Bond?" You tease him. 
"I'll admit it. You got me figured out. What gave it away?" Jake asks jokingly but not as quiet as bright as before. You shoot him a look, but his smile is still firmly in place. 
"Honestly?" You ask him hesitantly. 
"Yes Ma'am. They do say honesty is the best policy."  
"It's the fact that you refuse to grow facial hair. I'm convinced that it's because you want to save that for a disguise." You say, almost giggling trying to picture Jake with a beard or mustache. You expect Jake to laugh too, but he doesn't. After a slightly too long pause, he forces out a strangled laugh, and you realize that you've misstepped somehow. 
"Talk about it or leave it?" You offer trying to sound natural and keeping the pushiness you felt gnawing on you out of your voice. Jake takes a deep measured breath, exhaling out slowly through his nose. He drums a staccato on the steering wheel before responding. 
"Can we leave it please?" Jake eventually requests. 
"Facial hair or James Bond?" You ask, wanting to clarify. 
"Both, please." 
"Can do." 
"Thank you," Jake breathes quietly. Then he offers his right hand to you across the center console. You only wait a moment before slipping your fingers to slot in with his. He squeezes your hand affectionately and you both seem to take a deep breath to try and ease some of the uncomfortable tension. Jake's thumb tracing softly against your skin.  
"I'll tell you if you really want to know," Jake says a few miles later while his eyes stay trained on the road. You think about whether you really want to press him for details. As much as you want to know, you don't want to ever force Jake into sharing something with you if he isn't completely comfortable with it. 
"Nope, it's fine. Keep your mysteries, Hangman, I'll find out eventually." You finally respond, pulling Jake's hand up to press a kiss to the back of it, making sure he understood your innocent intentions. He chuckles good naturedly and his hand flexes at the movement, tightening its grasp on yours when you set them on the middle console again.  
"That's good. I appreciate you." 
"I appreciate you more," you tell him sweetly, though you mean it very genuinely. Jake pulls his eyes from the road to flash a heavy frown of disapproval your way. 
"I don't think that's possible," Jake says with passion.
You just shrug, letting the conversation drift to the next topic, just enjoying the drive with Jake. It is a while before Jake pulls off onto a private road that leads up to a massive barn, and you still don't really have any clue where you are or why. Jake throws the gear into park, the truck in park and shoots you an almost gleeful smile. 
"Jake, where are we?" You ask him again. 
"Just my friend's place," he answers.Then,while reaching over and patting your cheek affectionately, says, "You, my sweet, can stay here." 
"Do I have to stay?" You ask him nervously, checking the mirrors on either side of you. You know once Jake leaves the truck and into the barn you won't be able to see him anymore. The idea of being alone here, somewhere you don't know, even in the truck makes you uncomfortable. 
"I just didn't want you to have to walk through all the mud," Jake says. 
"It's okay," you tell him reassuringly. "That's why you had me bring my boots, right?"
"Yes, but you just look snug as a bug. I didn't want to make you move," Jake replies. 
"I don't mind, it will be nice to get out of the car. And I want to meet your friend." 
A moment later Jake is opening your side of the truck and helping you into your boots, tying up the laces for you and ignoring your protests that you are perfectly capable of doing that yourself. Jake helps you out of the truck and holds your hand, helping you walk over the uneven ground carefully. You can smell it before you see it. The fresh woodsy scent permeates the air so heavily that you can nearly taste it. 
Subverting your expectations, Jake does not lead you to the large frame equipment sliding doors of the barn. Instead, he leads you around the nearest side where there is a small typical sized door. Opening the door, Jake reveals a huge workshop. Half of the large barn space is filled with massive logs, planks, boards, and other cuts of wood. The other half is full of various projects, a giant tool bench, and shelving making up an impressive workspace. 
"Oh wow," you breathe taking it all in. You look at Jake and he is positively gleeful, maybe even more excited than a kid in a candy shop. His grin is wide, looking around and leading you a bit further into the workspace. A soft Jingle plays in the air, penetrating the otherwise quiet atmosphere when Jake closes the door behind you. 
"Seresin, that better be you!" A voice calls out from the back of the barn.
"And it if ain't?" Jake calls back playfully. 
"Then you should know, I've got a gun I ain't afraid to use, and you're trespassing." 
You almost let go of Jake's hand in alarm, but he gives you a squeeze reassuring you. He leads you a little further into the warehouse, and a middle aged woman comes in through one of the open doors. 
Jake lets go of your hand to give her a warm hug. She hugs Jake back lightly before pushing him away with a playful shove.
"It's good to see you too, Jess," Jake grumbles, dodging out of the way of her playful punch. 
"Hi, I'm Jess. It's nice to meet you." She says turning to you and offers you a warm smile
You introduce yourself a bit shyly, but feel more confident when Jake's hand slips back into yours. 
"Have you known this pest for long?" Jess asks you while gesturing to Jake. 
"Jess, be nice. I am literally your favorite customer and the son you never had," Jake complains. 
"Paula and I were actually very conscious in our choice not to have children, Jake," Jess says, clicking her tongue at him. 
Jake pouts and you can't help but giggle a little at the sight. "I've known him for a bit, yes," you respond. 
"Well, even if he is annoying, you've found yourself a good man," Jess says. You wait for Jake to correct her. When he doesn't you start to do so yourself but Jess has already changed the subject and started walking to the other side of the warehouse with a gesture for you to follow. 
"So, I got them fresh this week. And just like you requested, I'm letting you have the first freshcut pick, even before me." Jess explains to him. 
"I knew you loved me," Jake gasps grinning wide. Jess huffs out a breath at Jake but doesn't deny Jake's accusation which just makes Jake grin wider. Y'all walk to a pile of grey logs stacked close to the large barn doors.
They start a conversation that completely goes over your head, something about soil conditions, chain lengths, altitude, sap, and other details you didn't know impacted wood. You take this opportunity to look around the shop, and appreciate all the different types of wood and tools. You have only slightly lost focus when you suddenly realize Jake has said your name and is looking at you expectantly. He quickly picks up that you missed the question though, so he repeats it gently. 
"You should pick our first one, Sugar. Juniper was your idea." 
"Oh, I just pick one?" You ask looking at all the logs. Besides the fact they were different widths they all looked pretty much the same to you. 
"Yes, Ma'am," Jake confirms. He leads you to the ends of the cuts and starts talking about grains, and the potential knots and twists that would be in the wood when you cut into it. Jess leaves y'all to decide, saying she'll go grab her forklift to make getting the selections into Jake's truck easier. Jess declines Jake's offer to drive with a snipe about how he isn't forklift certified. Jake's muttered comeback about how he could be forklift certified if he wanted makes you roar in laughter. 
You eventually pick a trunk that overall doesn't look too special, but Jake said it looked like it would be easier to work with because of how sticky the sap was. Jake makes two other selections and also insists on helping Jess get the wood into his truck. 
Jess invited you to an early lunch where you met her wife Paula. Paula had clearly been prepared to host and spent the whole meal fawning over Jake. While Jess might deny treating him like a son, Paula certainly leans into it, and you can tell Jake doesn't mind from the glowing smile that stays on his face the whole time you're at their home.  
As promised Jake had planned time to stop at the farmers market, and an outlet mall, that included a target, where two do some light shopping. Finally picking up Jake's drycleaning on your way home. It's a fun day, and you were thankful you had decided to tag along.
"So Jake, are these for what I think?" You ask him excitedly when you have finally made it home and he is pulling the logs into the garage. 
"It definitely might be. After all, this is fresh Juniper." 
You stare at the grey logs of wood with their mossy, splintering bark that has already made a mess in the garage. Examining the wood you try to compare it with the Juniper you have seen in the past.
"I didn't think it was that color," you tell Jake scrunching your eyebrows together in contemplation. 
"Well, the wood isn't actually grey, just the bark," Jake explains. You watch as he pulls two pairs of work gloves from the workbench. He jerks the larger pair on, you realize with adoration that he had gotten a pair in your size. Jake doesn't hand the gloves to you, rather just leaves them out as an offering if you are interested in participating. The casual no pressure offering makes your chest warm and stomach flutter. Biting your lip you try to contain the grin threatening to split your face before joining him at the workbench and sliding the gloves on. 
Grabbing two chisels, he throws one on his belt. Then he picks up alo with two hammers, hanging both those on his toolbelt as well. You start to get distracted by the way Jake's tool belt sits on his slim hips. 
"Yes. Jess managed to expedite it for us in a special order. I'm so excited. You see, in the spring the sap warms up and it runs through the tree so it allows us to do this –" Jake explains to you. He angles the chisel into the bark, working it in. With a controlled hit from the hammer the flat head sinks in a little bit deeper. Wiggling the chisel makes the bark displace, allowing Jake to grab it and pull it downwards. A long section of the bark comes off before splintering and breaking off the log. The action reveals the light colored, bright, 'green' (fresh) wood underneath. 
"I can tell you've never experienced stripping before," Jake says cheekily while wiggling his eyebrows at you. You feel a bit amazed at the beautiful gem that's been revealed to you. 
"What?" you gasp.  
"Stripping is what this process is called," Jake answers while letting out a full bellied laugh, going so far as slapping his own leg. You roll your eyes at him but can't help your smile and excitement on joining in. 
"Some people strip wood with a power washer, but I think that's lazy. On top of the laziness, it prematurely ages and strips the wood of its natural oils, color, and saps! If we take our time though, we can get a longer lasting, vibrant cut. It's a lot of work, but I promise it will be worth it in the long run." 
Jake takes his chisel and edges it under the bark again. When he pulls the long grey strip of bark gives way with a crunch that sizzles against your ears. Jake continues to slowly peel more away to reveal the fresh color underneath, not pressuring you to join the process at any point. 
However when you do ask to help Jake is patient going over the process with you, explaining the best angle to keep the chisel. He provides steady guidance, only leaving you alone in the process when you tell him that you have a handle on what you're doing. 
You help Hangman strip one of the logs and just as he had said, it is a slow process. It is however extremely satisfying and lots of fun. He puts on a podcast after consulting you to find one you would both enjoy. At one point you accidentally dig your chisel too far under the bark and feel it sink slightly into the 'green' sap softened wood. Your heart drops, and when you peel it back you see that it has pulled a chunk of wood, leaving a gouge in the trunk. You freeze, noticing the damage of the mistake, pulling your eyes to where Jake is working. Just as you start to wonder if there could be a way to fix or hide your mistake, Jake looks over at you with a wide smile that crinkles around his eyes.
"Oh wow," he gasps, the smile falling. Anxiety claws at your throat, and you instinctively prepare yourself for something bad to happen, every muscle in your body tensing in anticipation. Jake's hand gently pushes yours out of the way and dips over the gouge pushing away some of the sap that was springing from the area. Jake clicks his tongue before saying. "Look at this, sugar" 
"I know and–" You are getting ready to spew the best excuse and explanation you can think of before Jake interrupts you. 
"I've seen this color juniper, at least not in person" Jake tells you breathily. You are momentarily surprised that his words do not contain any anger, veiled insults, or condescending tones. Then you remember that this is Jake, so of course you're not going to 'be in trouble'. It takes your eyes a moment to drop down to the thick trunk again. Where you had damaged the wood, it revealed a bright purple streak under the top grain. 
"It's purple," you say, eyes widening. 
"It does look purple does it?" Jake asks excitedly. "That means at the very least that vein will look like that through the trunk. If not all the pigmentation in the grain." 
"So, it's not usually purple?" You ask. 
"Sometimes red, but not purple. This one was a real treasure find, sugarpie" Jake answers. His grin was so wide you were a little worried about his face. However, before you know it, he is sweeping you in his arms and rocking you playfully while saying, "We are going to have to do something really special with this one."  
"Puzzle table," You say as if that was the most obvious answer. That was the whole reason he had gotten all these logs of juniper, after all. 
"Yeah, maybe for the puzzle table," Jake says noncommittally, though as he hums you can tell that won't be the case. He kisses your forehead and mutters a thank you.
Jake gives you another thank you, a little while later, once you two have started to work again. "We wouldn't have known about the color until I went to cut planks and then there would have been a lot less I could do to preserve the color." 
"I made a mistake, Jake."
"Not all mistakes are bad," he says kindly. "Sometimes they are just something that's meant to happen. They have to happen for us to learn something." 
"Says the man who famously never makes mistakes," you grouse back. 
"I make mistakes, but unfortunately, like everything I do, it's to the max. Either the best or the worst," he trails off with a shrug. 
"Because you refuse to be middling?" You ask him teasingly. You aren't surprised when his sharp elbow playfully taps into your arm, and if you bruise later-- it will be worth it.  
"We never should have read and watched Little Women," Jake grumbles. However, his open and light body language make it very clear to you he is being playful. You traced the shape of his dimples with your eyes enjoying the ease they brought to you. They seemed like the perfect place to rest your thumbs on his cheeks. It's nice how Jake comes with a built in guidance system. From his dimples, to the smile lines that will age nicely into kind crows feet all pointing to the freckle-mole by his right eye. You had already mapped out every place you wanted to kiss, given the opportunity. 
"You loved them both," you remind Jake. 
"Of course I did. It is a heart warming, stunning story. But you don't always have to make fun of how I teared up a little bit." Jake tells you, adopting a frown. Teared up was a bit of a down play on what had happened but you didn't call Jake out on that part. It wasn't a bad thing for men to get emotional and cry. 
"I only tease because you were upset about it for the entire next day. Which honestly was so sweet."
"It's not sweet, Sugar." Jake groans. 
"Jake, let's not do this dance," you sigh, rolling your eyes at him and turning back to your work on the trunk. You are much more careful now in how you place the chisel under the bark. In the middle of stripping off the next piece the podcast shuts off and some slow country music replaces it. 
"Now, Sugar," Jake says in an extra thick southern accent that makes you narrow your eyes. He eases in close to you and pulls the chisel out of your hand sliding it in his tool belt. Unbuckling it Jake sets it on the bench. Coming back to your side he takes your hand, delicately. Jake pulls your work gloves from each finger. Intentional and steady, the pads of his fingers brush against your revealed skin. He tosses the gloves to the side as well, and with your now free hands pulls you closer to him, towards the open space in the middle of the garage. 
"What dance exactly don't you want to do?" Jake asks you, starting to sway to the music and encouraging you to join him in the simple steps. Once you do he gleefully spins you in time with the music and draws you back even closer to his chest after. 
Blowing out a sigh you melt into his embrace. Dancing with Jake was different than any other man; he was confident and incharge, firm enough with his hold that there wasn't any space for you to really fall out of step with him, but he left enough room so you didn't feel like he was forcefully dragging you through the steps. He was good about taking the worry of thinking about the steps away from you, allowing you to just enjoy the movement and how his broad body felt pressed so close. 
"The dance where you try to sell some preposterous lie about not being a good man, and I have to convince you otherwise." 
"Ouch," Jake says. You lean back further resisting the hold he has in moving you. Jake doesn't allow the movement though, continuing to step dance to the music guiding you with him. 
"I'm sorry, Jake." you say already feeling a little bad. 
"No, no. I might have deserved that one," Jake answers, as the song wraps up, and you don't know what to say. He doesn't let go of you though, just adjusts his steps, leads his steps into the next one. 
"Let's find a different dance you do like," he says after a bit, shuffling you in his arms. "For example, we know you love the Texas two step."
"Do I?" You ask him with a laugh. 
"Yes, ma'am," He responds confidently, not leaving room to contradict him. "How do you feel about salsa though?" 
Jake turns you around the open space in the garage, going through dances he knows until you are both laughing. When he suggests cooking dinner and watching Dancing with the Stars for some new ideas you readily and happily agree, especially when he reminds you the logs will still be there tomorrow, and there is no real need to rush since you have at least a week until the sap is too dry to easily strip anymore.
"Marlee, your boss isn't going to pass you up for a promotion." 
"Well, she might if I'm pregnant," Marlee responds in a small voice that doesn't match her typical outgoing demeanor. You almost drop your phone but manage to keep your grip tight. 
"Marlene Machado… First of all, that would be illegal, and we would file a report with HR. And secondly, is there something you are wanting to tell me?"
"No!" Marlee says, "I don't know what you're talking about, me pregnant?! That's crazy talk. Maybe you're the one who's pregnant." 
"Okay, honey. Sorry, sorry." You sigh only partly apologetic into the phone. 
"No, I'm sorry." She replies in a quiet voice. "But nothing for sure yet." 
"That's okay, Marls. It's only been a few months of this new medicine."
"Yeah, well um I guess that leads to my next problem."
"What's that?"
"What are your plans for Saturday?"
"I don't have any plans." You say running through your mental calendar to check. 
"Okay, perfect. So, here's what Javy and I are thinking." 
"So Javy is involved?" You clarify. 
"What? Of course, he is!" Marlee says sounding affronted at even the concept of not including her husband, which makes you almost smile for real. 
"Okay, okay," you tell her with a small laugh. 
"We'll pick you up. Then we'll carpool to the airport. Don't worry I already made signs. Then we want to take y'all to Olive Garden."
You distantly hear Javy yelling, "When we are there, we are family."
Marlee takes a moment to giggle, "I'll make sure you and Jake drink a bottle of wine. Preferably one each. Trust me, nothing helps with the ‘we haven't seen each other in six months’ awkwardness better than wine. Then we will drive you two home!" 
You aren't successful in catching your phone this time and it slams to the ground. You're frozen staring down at it, only managing to shake yourself and pick it up when you hear Marlee saying your name in concern. 
"Sorry, the phone slipped. What was that?" 
"Oh no, is it okay?"
"Yeah, it's fine," you answer the pit in your stomach growing till it feels like it might swallow you whole. 
"You don't need help with anything for tomorrow do you?" Marlee asks worriedly. You take a glance around the house. You had worked hard keeping things orderly and together while Jake had been gone. You knew how worried he was that things would change while he was away. It hadn't been easy and there were a few weeks there when you hadn't been able to keep yourself afloat very well. 
"Help with what?" You ask, trying to get her to confirm what you thought you had heard. 
"Any cleaning or organizing or any of that. Groceries so you and Jake don't have to go shop. Javy hates going to the store when he comes home. I guess there is something especially frustrating about them," Marlee trails off. You can tell that she is picking up on your off mood, and of course she was. She probably expected you to be ecstatic that Jake was coming home, and maybe you would have been if you had known about it. 
You realize there isn't a way out of this so you have to concede a truth to her. You bite your lip and let your eyes frantically comb over the house again before finally whispering. "He hasn't said anything to me… about coming home." 
When Marlee answers you can hear she isn't on speakerphone anymore, and asks you quietly, "He hasn't mentioned it at all?" 
"Not a word," you respond solemnly. 
"I'm sorry for ruining the surprise."
"I'm glad you did. I'll definitely want to clean and shop like you mentioned. And as nice as your plan sounded, maybe not this time. You two are the sweetest ever."
"I still feel bad. Are you sure you don't need help with anything?"
"I'm fine, thank you, Marlee!" You were not fine.
"Wait, babes, I'm worried."
"Don't worry. I'll talk to you later, yeah? I love you!" You hang up the phone and stare at it blankly. Trying to process the new information you had just gotten. Looking around the house you realized you weren't even close to ready for Jake to come home.  
You spend all of your free time panicking, cleaning and organizing the house, trying to make sure everything was just perfect for when Jake comes home. You almost had a breakdown when you couldn't remember if the quilt on his bed had been green or dark blue when he left.. The smallest details were haunting you. You had spent nearly an hour working up the courage to erase the chalkboard in the kitchen. Worried that you would forget some of the more important reminders, you erase everything but what you deemed Jake needed to know, like things that had come up concerning the house. It leaves a choppy, oddly spaced list, but you don't think you will have the energy to rewrite it without crying. 
You were asleep when Jake came home. Waking up to sounds that are familiar and yet gone enough that they don't sound right, confuses your tired mind before you are startled into wakefulness, fully placing that for the first time in 6 months someone else is cooking in your kitchen. Your alarm is slightly eased when you check your phone and see a text from Marlee. 
We're here with a gift, come down stairs as soon as you wake up <3
 While you were put at ease knowing some manic axe murderer isn't in your house, you almost feel like you would prefer that to what you now know is waiting for you downstairs. You sit in your room for nearly an hour trying to work out what to do, if you should confront Jake and how to approach it, hoping inspiration or bravery will strike you into moving. It never does though, and instead there is a heavy handed knock on your bedroom door. 
Taking a big gulp, not having the strength to find your voice, you slowly creak the door open. You lift your eyes up and unexpectedly find Javy on the other side of the door. 
"Hey, sleeping beauty!" Javy says cheerfully. It takes you a few deep breaths to answer from your surprise. You don't know what the look on your face is, but the next thing you know, Javy is sweeping you up into a tight hug. You are frozen though, still strung out on what this must mean, that Jake is home. 
"Is he?" You start to ask, but not sure how you actually want to finish the sentence: home, safe, okay, the same. Javy doesn't respond, he just squeezes you harder. You try asking your question again to get an answer. "Is Jake?" 
"Hangman is here," Javy finally confirms. 
"I thought it was going to be this evening."
"Some of his flights got shifted around at the last minute." 
"Oh. And is he..?" You can't finish that question either. 
"He will be okay," Javy says lightly.  
"Will be? So, that means that he isn't okay now." You grimace, worry flooding your chest that is already so full of hurt. 
"It'll all take us some time to readjust and recalibrate. Just don't push him, and more importantly yourself too hard. Okay?" Javy says pulling away from the hug after another squeeze. You nod numbly, not entirely sure you know what he means but it is comforting to know your friend is here. 
When you don't make a move to follow Javy towards the door when he starts to retreat he levels you with a concerned look. 
"Why do you love Jake?" Javy asks, leaning back against your door. 
You open your mouth to protest that you don't love Jake– how can you love someone who willfully hasn't talked to you in 6 months? The words don't come out though, because in spite of it all, you do love him. You love him so much it hurts, and you made that choice even as Jake actively warned you against it. Javy waits patiently for you to respond, which just makes you feel like squirming more. 
"I do not see what that has to do with anything," you try to deflect but Coyote frowns at you and shakes his head.
"It's because he makes you feel better than a million bucks right?" Javy presses on with the question.
"Yeah, sometimes." You concede thinking of how it was before Jake left. 
"Or like you are the most important thing in the room? More important even than him?" 
"Don't know if I love Jake because of that. I think those are just side benefits. I love Jake just by virtue of him being Jake." You say trying to explain how you feel and Javy nods along to your words. 
"I get it," he says. You worry your lip and look at the door again, still not sure you can do this. 
"It's going to be okay. Marlee and I are here to play interference as long as you two need it. Remembering those things you love about him will help get through the rough patch. He is really worried about doing something wrong."
"What do you mean wrong?" 
"I would say he is worried about hurting you." And you had to resist the urge to laugh, because it was already much too late for that. Jake had been hurting you for months now.
"Has something gone wrong before, or is he just scared?"
Javy doesn't answer your question and he avoids your gaze and stares hard at a far wall. "Hangman and I aren't always stationed together." 
"Oh, I see."
"You're going to have to give him some grace and time; he will even out, I promise. If it gets too bad you can always call me, okay?" Javy's eyes meet yours again, and he gives you a sad smile. "I love Jake too, you know."
"Yeah, I know you do." You reassure him. "Thanks Coyote, you are a good friend to him, and me too." 
Javy is then urging you to finally leave your room, opening the door and gesturing for you to step out. He is asking you to be brave, and it's a lot easier to face your fears when you know someone else is there to help, just in case. 
"Hey what's taking so long up there?" Marlee yells up the stairs suspiciously. She must have heard your door open.  
"I am once again begging Javy to run away with me." You yell back to her playfully. Giving Javy one last tight hug and a muttered thank you, he strides confidently down the stairs. Anxiety and nerves eat away at your every step leaving a sour taste on your tongue. You keep your eyes trained on the ground, as you descend the stairs, still not ready to actually see Jake. 
Instead you keep your eyes trailed on Javy where he has automatically drifted to his wife's side and is already wrapping himself around her and kissing her cheek. 
"Well, were you convinced to run away?" Marlee asks her husband, hugging him back, clearly enjoying the joke. 
"No Ma'am, not this time," Coyote answers with a laugh. 
"I wasn't worried," she tells him. "I know there's only one person you would leave me for."
"I would never leave you," Javy responds, dropping the playfulness from his voice. However, Marlee persists. 
"That's not true, we both know if Jake asked, you wouldn't even hesitate." The couple both turn their eyes towards the kitchen, which you realize is where Jake must be. You are frozen on the last step of the stairs, unable to take your eyes off Marlee and Javy, even as they expectantly look back and forth between where you are standing and where he is. 
You decide you aren't brave enough, that you can't actually do this. You need to retreat up the stairs into your room and pack all of your things in order to get out of here as soon as possible. Jake was back now, all the responsibility you had to watch and take care of the house was released from your shoulders. Never facing him again seems like the obvious solution, you don't know why you had never considered it before. 
"I wouldn't ever ask Javy to run away with me, he snores too much," Jake says. His voice tricks your eyes into looking towards the kitchen. Thinking about Jake Seresin and seeing him are two distinctly different things. He is handsome, Jake always has been handsome, but after so long of not seeing him, it's glaring, breathtaking. 
You think you had expected him to change, which doesn't really make sense. Half a year, in the grand scheme of things, really isn't very long. You think maybe his uniform fits him a bit more snugly, that he looks even more fit than before. You weren't prepared… you weren't prepared at all. And now you are stuck because he is looking back at you. Jake blinks at you, and you stare wide eyed, too afraid if your eyes close for even a second he will be gone. 
"Hello. Good morning," Jake finally says. 
"Hi," you squeak. Then you are finally able to take the last step off the stairs and say, "It's good to see you." 
Jake flashes you one of his perfect practiced smiles and a wink. Then he gestures to the bowls and pans in front of him, "I'm making french toast." 
You wait a second, having to choke back a sob threatening to bubble in your chest. Then say, "I'm sure that will be good." 
Javy and Marlee's analyzing the two of you makes the awkwardness press in harder. Gulping, you try to seem casual about walking towards the kitchen. Jake watches you intently. At the last minute you change your mind and veer down the hallway towards the front door instead. 
"Sorry, I just have some errands I need to run," You announce loudly, quickening your step. Fumbling with the locks you burst out the front door, and stand heaving on the front porch. Gripping the railing hard, you lean against it trying to brace yourself. 
A minute later you hear the door open, and you close your eyes tight, wishing you had been smart enough to walk further away. There is a slight clunk against the ground and you see a pair of your shoes next to your feet. 
"Thought you might need shoes," Jake says quietly. Fuck, this hurt so much more than you though it would. You thought having him home would feel like a relief, not a fresh stab wound. You just shake your head, not sure you can say anything. Jake waits patiently but after several long minutes, he breathes out a quiet sigh. 
"Okay. Well. I think I should just apologize and get on with it. I'm sorry, I am so sorry." You can't stop the hitching sob that falls from your throat. 
"I know you didn't love back the same way, but I didn't realize you cared so little about me." 
"That is an inaccurate statement," Jake protests. 
"I don't want us to have a fight Jake." You mumble, nothing about this conversation was making you feel better. 
"Well I do. I want us to have a fight, because you should be mad at me. You should be yelling at me and cursing the ground I walk on. You should've burned down this house!" He exclaims, and you can hear his frustration. You open your eyes to find Jake standing stiff and straight next to the slightly ajar front door. Hands clenched tight, Jake was staring at like you were water and he had been stranded in the desert for days, parched. A direct sighting of his green eyes is all it takes to break your resolve.  
"I can't be mad at you!" You exclaim, throwing your hands up in the air. 
"Why not?" He prods you in a low voice.
"You know exactly why."  
Jake huffs, clenching his jaw he glares upwards, away from you. 
"You don't have to be this saint you know. You don't have to be this perfectly stable person for me because you feel like that's what I need. Please don't let me get away with hurting you." 
"I won't give you the satisfaction," you tell him coldly. 
"What?" Jake asks, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. 
"I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of confirming that you are the bad guy you've convinced yourself you are. So, what would you like me to say instead?"   
"I guess I want you to listen to the fact that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I left, I'm sorry for how I behaved, I—"
"Are you really sorry for what happened between us?" You ask in a small voice. You lower your eyes to look at the ground, not wanting to be too confrontational. 
"Of course I am," he sighs. It's a stab to your heart. You had treasured the long heartbreakingly beautiful evening you had with Jake before he left, and hearing him say he doesn't feel the same is harrowing. 
"Are you—" you start to ask but stop yourself. You ball up all the hurt in your chest trying to rationalize and compartmentalize. Realizing this is another one of those times you had to fill in the gaps. It was time you refocused on the realities at hand. There were no promises besides the one you had made. That you would love him regardless, and continuously. Reminding yourself this fact helps, you could be upset after, later. Every moment actually with Jake should be treasured, this was the first moment you were getting with him in how long and of course you had ruined it. 
"I'm sorry for every other thing I know I should be, and everything I willfully chose not to know too. I'm sorry, and well I want to go on forever. I want to keep telling you I'm sorry every second. So, I'm sorry. I'll say it a million times more. Like you deserve."
"Jake, stop. Sometimes the more times you say something the cheaper the words have become. So let's keep this one valuable. I'm sorry for pushing, and you've said sorry too. We can move on now." 
"I'll just be plain then." He says, though you can tell that the frustration and desperation are still burning hot under his skin. 
"Yes, Jake, be plain. That's the best option for us."
"If we step over lines?"
"We say something, stop and talk about it."
"Okay." He agrees, "We have to talk about the other thing now too."
"What thing?" you ask.
"My question, what happened between us." He says as if he hadn't just told you part of him regrets it. 
"You asked to be selfish with me Jake, and I said yes. I don't regret that, and I'm not mad about what happened. You had my permission and consent for all of it.' 
"I just kept waiting until I knew what I wanted to say, but then I never knew what I wanted to say," he explains. 
"Jake, I really…" You sigh and scrub your hand over your face. "Can we not talk about this right now?"
 Jake nods silently in response. "Okay, Later, then."
"Sure, like when the Machados aren't listening on the other side of the door." You say loudly looking at the front door that was cracked, having no doubt your friends were being nosey. Not that you really blame them, you probably would have done the same thing. 
"Do you still have errands to run?" he asks you. You look out to the street deciding you should at least take a small walk to sort through your thoughts. 
"I'm just going to go on a little walk. I'm sure I'll be back by the time breakfast is done," you explain. 
"Sounds good, sugar. Can I help you with your shoes?" He asks quietly. The only reason you nod your head yes is because you think you might start crying otherwise. 
Jake kneels down and hesitates for a long moment before his large warm hand is on your ankle, helping angle your foot into the shoe. His thumb makes a brushing stroke across the skin before doing the same thing with the other foot. When you get back from your walk, it's awkward. You completely avoid Marlee's attempts to get you to go off and talk with her. Instead, you decide that the best course of action is to pretend that nothing is wrong. You laugh at jokes and ignore how stilted and awkward Jake's conversation is with everyone. Then, after Marlee and Javy linger way too long, before you and Jake finally get them to leave. Once they are out the door and Jake has locked the door behind them, you both let out a sigh of relief. You meet Jake's gaze, both of you offer small smiles. It's the most normal moment you've had all day. 
"Welcome back, Jake." You offer tentatively. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"I kinda just want to nap," he admits. You part ways at the top of the stairs giving him a strained smile and retreat into your room; Jake's eyes don't leave you until the door is shut firmly in place. 
It's much later that night when you hear some loud banging. You shoot out of your room worried, and realize the banging is coming from the other side of Jake's bedroom door. You knock on it firmly but don't hear a response. 
You knock again and the banging comes to a stop. You try the door and find it locked. 
"Jake, are you okay?" You ask him through the door. 
"I'm fine. Thanks," he yells back. You wait but when you don't get anything more, you have no choice but to leave him be and go back to your room. You don't actually even see Jake again until two nights later. You have been able to tell that he is home but Jake is as elusive as a ghost. 
You run into him next when you open your door one night to get some water before bed. Jake is standing on the other side, holding two water bottles. Part of you has a hunch that he had been standing there for a while. He looks shocked but a little relieved when he sees you. 
"I know I shouldn't be here," Jake starts slowly, taking his gaze off of you and looks down at his feet. 
"No, it's okay that you are here," you stutter slightly. "Is there something you need?" 
Jake nods his head along with your words, his eyebrows drawing together. Then he holds out a water bottle for you to take. "Can I just be here? Here, with you?"
"Of course, always." You say stepping backwards into your room leaving the door wide open for him. You shuffle to your bed and lift open the blankets ready to welcome him there with you. However, Jake drops the pillow he was holding on the floor nearby and lays down instead. 
You want to ask him questions about it but the edge he is on isn't one you want to poke or prod in any direction. While you are still hurt, knowing he is here is safe again, with you is equally as soothing, a small dosage of pain medication. 
"There's plenty of room up here with me too, you know." You decide to casually offer just in case. 
"It's too soft for me right now."
"I just thought I would offer," you say lightly. 
"I can't sleep. It's the worst part. Everything is too quiet and too still and at the same time not quiet or still enough. I think I might go insane." He explains in a low voice. 
"What can I do? What do you need?" You ask sympathetically. 
"Can we talk about it?" Jake asks hopefully. 
"No, Jake. We can't," You sigh and hear him sigh in frustration. 
"Someday, at some point, we are going to have to talk about it," Jake says so carefully you know he is consciously holding back the taunting frustration he wants to put into the words. 
"No, we really don't," You contradict him. 
"Sweets," Jake responds, sounding wrecked. 
You think you should give into him again. You should allow Jake to talk his heart out and seek penance from you. How this should be a time when you are strong for him. However, as much as you want to give Jake the world, there must be times that you curl around your own heart to try and shield it from hurt. 
"Listen, Jake. I don't need to know why you didn't talk to me while you were gone. No matter what your explanation is, it's going to hurt my feelings. So, I would rather not know. Please, let me pretend something a little kinder." 
He is silent, so very quiet for so long you almost wonder if he has left. Evaporated from existence, that he never came home at all, and you've been living an elaborate hallucination. You turn on your side just to check in the soft lamp light that Jake is still laying on the floor. 
"You should have said no to me before I left. It would have saved us both a lot of grief I think." 
Jake's words feel like a punch in the gut, rattling around like a wrecking ball, leaving a bloody massacre behind. With a heavy blown out breath you say, "No it wouldn't have."
"No, it wouldn't have," he sighs in agreement. 
"It would be nice though, if we could go back to before." 
"Before?" He asks. 
"Yes," you say, clutching your blankets tight. "If I could pretend that you never got orders and didn't leave. I would jump to that in an instant. 
"You want to pretend nothing happened?" 
"Isn't that an idea?" You huff a small broken laugh at the ridiculousness of it.
"What if I don't remember exactly how things went before?" Jake wonders. 
"Jake, I wasn't serious," you say cautiously.  
There are several long minutes of silence where you wait for him to say something. Finally, you hear Jake let out a long heavy audible groan while shifting. "If you don't want to talk it out. Pretending is probably our best option then. Otherwise, what are we going to do, sweets?" 
"Sugar," You correct automatically. 
"Hmm?" 
"You usually call me sugar, or honey. Not sweets" 
"Ah, that's right, and darling. I got it mixed up because you're so sweet to me."
"I'll help you. If you don't remember how it goes." 
"Thank you," he says. And you can't believe he is actually agreeing to this idea, or really that you are either. 
"Do you not like sweets?" Jake asks eventually. 
"It's fine enough, I guess." You answer as lightly as you can. Then you go through another bout of silence. You nervously play with the edge of a blanket hoping that this tension with Jake will ease. It's always gone away in the past, but that was also before. 
"That's what you want then? Tomorrow, we go back?" Jake asks again. 
"Yes, tomorrow," You confirm. 
"Sugar?
"Yes, Jakers?"
"Can I ask you a question?" He asks. You laugh lightly, feeling a bit of the nervousness ease at his tone which has become much lighter. 
"I never understand why people say that. Aren't you already asking a question?" Jake chuckles low in his chest in amusement. He doesn't follow along with the joke though, just leaves it there hanging in the air. 
"The answer is yes," you tell him casually. 
"You don't know what the question is." 
"Yes, you can ask me a question," you clarify in a whisper. Jake makes some rustling sounds and you hear him come closer to you.
"Are you sure that bed is big enough for two?" He asks. 
"Why don't we find out?" You laugh feeling more at ease. 
With a nod Jake crawls onto bed and turns to face you on his side. However, he doesn't scoot in close like you expect. He is stone still on the other side of the bed, laying on top of the covers, only shifting his pillow once. 
"What would you do, if I told you the last time I said yes, it had an extended warranty?" You ask while turning on your side to face where you are in the bed now. 
"How long are we talking about here?" Jake asks. 
"Unfortunately, I think it expires some time tomorrow." You watch Jake work his lip in contemplation, while examining your face closely. 
"Why would you let me be selfish with you again?" 
"I think it's because we are selfish. Maybe it's a little bit because I don't want the memory of the last time I tasted you to be bitter." 
Jake rolls away from you onto his back, blinking rapidly at the ceiling. "Stop letting me take things from you."
"We both deserve a night where we are selfish with each other, I think." You tell him reaching across the gap between you. You set a hand on Jake's cheek ignoring the prickly stubble there. 
"To have you and let you go again the next day would be torture," Jake says all while leaning into your touch. 
"Just a kiss this time," you offer, urging him by his cheek to come a little closer to you. 
"It was supposed to be just a kiss last time too." Jake's eyes are bright where they burn into yours. He inches a little closer and you lean forwards as well, reducing the gap between you two that much more until there is just a miniscule space now.  
"I know," You answer against his lips, letting your hand slip into his hair. Jake's lips move with yours crowding in close, like he is trying to breathe all of you into himself and commit you to memory. 
"Maybe, it can be more of a promise?" Jake eventually gasps. 
"A promise?" You question. 
"A promise not to hurt you like this again," Jake answers.
"That's not an easy promise to keep," you warn. 
"That's true, but I'm willing to try anyway." He kisses you again and dips his tongue into your mouth. Jake swallows your little whimpers; he tastes just as good as he always has. It's very easy to be selfish with Jake "Hangman" Seresin.  
It's a slow road to trying to get back to normal. Jake circles around the house like he is lost. Picking things up and setting them down, starting conversations with you and leaving halfway through them. Shadows stretch across his face and his increasingly dark stubble and facial hair. You are a little surprised to find that he doesn't have a red beard like most blonds do. The facial hair only serves to make him look increasingly gaunt.
Jake even denies your offer to start a puzzle together, telling you that wasn't something he could handle at the moment. You try not to seem like you were watching him like a hawk, but you definitely are. Until one day he stood up from the table in the middle of dinner and announced that he was going camping. 
"Oh okay. Do you know how long?" 
"Yeah," Jake sighs, "I'll be home before next weekend, and I promise you when I get home I'll be normal again."
"You don't have to be any which way for me Jake," you tell him gently. 
"I know, but I need to do this for me too, sugar." He explains while putting away dishes. You watch him complete the task; Jake is antsy even with his hands occupied. None of the projects or tasks he has picked up since being home have been enough to occupy him with real distraction. Two days ago, you had walked into the garage where Jake had rigged up his camping hammock to the ceiling which you felt like he was swaying precariously 8 feet off the ground. On top of that Jake had music blasting, a documentary on Yosemite playing, while also whittling a piece of wood. 
"Okay. I'll miss you." You eventually say. Jake purses his lip, and after a heavy gulp he nods his head. Once the last of the dishes is away he spins on his heel and heads towards the garage door. 
You hurry after him, "Jake?"
"Yes, sugar?" He asks, not pausing his trajectory. 
"Are you leaving right now?" You ask him surprised. 
"Yes, I packed earlier today."
"Can I have a hug before you go?" You ask him hesitantly. 
Jake freezes. He rubs his hands across his face pressing briefly into his eyes while sighing a very soft "Fuck." Then he turns to you fully looking abashed. "Yeah, sugar. What do you need before I go? I'm sorry I should have asked that first."
"No, it's no big deal. Honestly." You tell him backing off not wanting to be too much. Jake shushes you softly while stepping closer. 
"Tell me how it goes. I need to remind myself about this part."
"Well," you start off hesitantly, "normally I would get a hug goodbye." 
"Ahh," Jake hums, "that's right. And I do that part like this?" Jake wraps you in his arms, draping them high on your back. You wait a moment before draping your arms around his neck.
"How's the next part going again, sweets?"
"You squeeze my waist a little harder and lower." Jake follows the direction his arms tightening around you drawing you flush against his chest. 
"Now?" He whispers. 
"You would probably kiss my forehead."
"Just your forehead?" Jake asks breathily. 
"I'll leave that one up to you, Jake." He unwraps a hand from your waist to hold the back of your neck, keeping you steady. 
"And if I want to kiss somewhere else?"
"You've got my permission Jake," you tell him trying to keep want and desire out of your voice. Jake parts his lips and leans in closer brushing his lips to grace over your cheekbone. 
"You can have it, Jake," you remind him.
"No," he answers and closes his eyes. "Not again, not yet. I'll be home in a few days."
Once Jake leaves you know there is something you have to do to help him. It's an idea that gets stuck in your head and then you can't get it out. He had been spending time daily in his hammock in the garage, and you noted that Jake had taken it with him when he left. You missed how he used to casually be in the living room, so you started brainstorming some ideas on how you might entice Jake to join you again. 
So, you go to the kitchen and pull out the rolodex, find the card dedicated to Miss Celeste and give it a call. Russell answers the phone, and you can hear the man smiling through the phone as you ask after his wife. It turns out Jake's grandmother is just as blunt but kind hearted as you had been led to believe. After a longer conversation with her, she and Russ offer you some advice and tips
You aren't wholly sure how you managed to get it all done. Eventually having to call Coyote to help you move some of the living room furniture. However, after significantly less sleep than you already get, there is a large comfy hammock in the living room. You and Javy had to sandwich Jake's large comfy chair much closer to the couch than it was previously, but y'all managed to make it all fit. 
Jake comes home from camping quietly late one night. The stubble he had been supporting before is a full-on beard now, and his hair is longer than you have ever seen it. This look is intimidating to you in lots of ways, like some mirrored version of Jake that you don't know. He offers. quick hello when he comes in from the garage, breezing past you and towards the stairs.  
Jake doesn't make it to the stairs though instead he stands frozen at the edge of the living room for five whole minutes just staring at the hammock. You watch him closely, trying to gauge his reaction. 
"It's a surprise for you." You say after the amount of time he is standing there increases to a concerning duration. Compelled to do something you explain, "I know your hammock has been one of the only places you have been able to relax."  
"This is very sweet. I appreciate it." Jake starts evenly. It's contradictory as you see him grit his teeth, and his fists clench and unclench at his sides. 
"You don't like it?" You ask him.
"It's not that," Jake tries to explain. "It's just you can't randomly switch the living room around and add new furniture like this." 
Your mouth drops open in shock. This might be one of the first times Jake has ever told you there is something you can't do in the house. It's jarring, he has always spent so much time tailoring everything to your likes, desires, and aesthetics that you hardly even think about the house as Jake's and Jake's alone anymore. Frustration bubbles under the shock twisting into anger at the situation. You were trying your best, doing all the things you thought you should, and it still didn't seem like enough. 
"That is so rich coming from you for so many different reasons Jake." You say agitated, rolling your eyes. 
"Why are you upset?" Jake asks you, finally looking away from the living room. 
"Why are you upset?" You parrot with emphasis. 
"Well, what did you expect? I left for a few days and now there is a hammock in the living room. That's an outdoor item you brought indoors," Jake responds snappily. It pushes you right against an edge that you are unfamiliar with living on now. You had forgotten how it was to live in a hyper aware state, trying to manage and monitor someone else's emotions. 
"You act like you haven't done the same thing," you tell him, gesturing frustratedly at the juniper chest. "I was doing something nice for you. However, if you don't like it, I'm sure you're more than capable of taking it down and moving your furniture back and fixing your living room."  
You leave Jake in the living room and go to the kitchen. He grumbles to himself upset which makes you feel even more on edge. However, you refuse to let Jake blowing back into the house prevent you from finishing the dishes you had been stacking and putting away. 
"It's our living room," he finally calls back to you.
"You aren't acting like it."
"You could have given me some warning," he reasons, but it has a slightly accusatory tone. 
"When Jake?" You ask him, upset. "When you called me and told me you were coming home? When you text? How exactly was I supposed to let you know?"
He doesn't have an answer and you slam the door of a cupboard harder than you intend. Inside, the stack of bowls were more precariously placed than you thought. The cupboard closes and bounces back open, the bowls ejecting and crashing hard against the ground. Several of them shatter when they make impact, sending ceramic shards flying across the area. 
You aren't expecting the sound to trigger you. It most likely does because of how high strung and worried you already are. The house is such a safe comforting space you don't really have a game plan for when PTSD attacks hit you here. A chill makes its way up your spine, while the sound of shattering glass rings echoing in your ears, for much longer than it echoes in the room. It's all it takes for some flip to switch in your head. 
Managing to take small gasping breaths, you try to assess the damage of the sharp ceramic pieces around you, categorizing how many bowls had broken. It doesn't help you to fight off sudden panic that is creeping in when you notice one of the destroyed bowls was one Miss Celeste had made for Jake. It was a soup bowl stamped with a silly song Jake liked to sing anytime he used it. Distantly you hear Jake calling your name but can't fully process it. He is stepping towards you, fear rings through your body, and instinctually you go to step back away from him. Flinching hard every one of your muscles feels like it's attached to a live wire. Your fight or flight mode activated but you are still mostly frozen in the middle with short panting breaths, your eyes flit across the room trying to find a suitable escape path. 
"Sugar, please don't move. Just stay right there. It's okay." Jake is repeating, holding his hand up, showing you his open body language. Your breaths continue to come out gasping, but eventually you are able clear the cloudiness up enough with the help of Jake's soothing.  
"Jake, help," you whimper. Training your eyes on Jake you think that he is the only available escape, from the glass around you and this attack. At your words, his whole face shifts overcome with a serious ‘get things done’ demeanor.
"Are you hurt?" He asks calmly. You can't answer him just offering a shaking shrug. "Stay right there for me, Sugar. Okay?" 
Jake is shoving his feet into some boots, then crunching through the broken ceramics and glass before picking you up. He carries you to the living room, setting you down on top of the closed puzzle table. Once you are there, he kneels in front of you. Picking up each of your feet, Jake carefully examines them for injury. Then gives the rest of your body a scan; he is clearly relieved to find that there weren't any cuts. 
"Wait here." He orders you gently, walking back to the kitchen and setting about cleaning the mess. 
"I can clean that," you try to tell him in a weak attempt for Jake to stop.
"You just stay there looking pretty and take some breaths, sweets." He responds from the kitchen. You decide to give in, which is probably for the best with the way the numb panic is still very present at the edge of your consciousness. Your heart is still beating erratically as well. 
Jake is expedient and thorough about cleaning, going through the whole kitchen and dining room with his shop vacuum searching for any hiding slivers. When finished he makes his way to the living room and crouches by your side again sighing heavily. 
"I'm sorry," he says, setting his large warm hands on your knees.
"I'm sorry," you apologize as well. "I should have waited and asked you before changing the living room."
"You don't need to ask. I've just been on edge and wasn't expecting it. I do appreciate the thought. And you know I do love hammocks so, I'm sure I'll love it."
"We don't have to keep it," You remind him.
"We are taking it for a trial run," Jake responds. Then a few moments later he lets out a heavy sigh and says, "You know we are doing it all already, right?" 
"What's that?"
"It" Jake says gesturing with his free hand in the air. "We fit together. We're," Jake takes the slightest pause, his hand grips yours so tight you almost ache, then he drops it completely. "A bridle joint or maybe, a box joint." 
"We aren't ever going to fit with anyone else are we?" You ask him, clarifying. 
"No, we aren't. I think it might just be this, Sugar. It's just us." Jake says the words like a confession, an admission, an honest reality. 
You try to analyze the look in his eyes, but over anything else all you can focus on is how tired he is. You pick Jake's hand up again. Standing from the couch, pulling him with you. Jake asks no questions; he just follows you as you guide him. You tug him with you to each of the doors as you make sure each one is locked, jiggling them to be sure. Then he follows you to the kitchen as you grab two of his glass water bottles. You hand one to him and take his, gripping it tightly while his other hand remains loose in yours. 
You keep leading him then as he follows you up the stairs. Finally, You open the door to his room, and freeze in the doorway. A gasp catches in your throat. It's empty. The whole room. Not a mattress or a bedframe, no side tables or a dresser. It's all gone. There is one chest, a basket with some blankets, and one pillow. Jake stands close behind you, and you hear him audibly sigh into your ear. 
You take a deep breath to steady yourself and pull Jake through the room, leaving no room to address the issue and heading straight to the bathroom. You turn on the water for the bath and let the tub start filling. Turning to Jake and finally, let go of his hand. He looks lost at you, and you bring your hand up to lift his chin up a little higher. Jake takes your direction and those gorgeous sea-glass green eyes look at you. 
You tug at his shirt twice before he follows the movement and pulls it off. You step out of your own pants but otherwise stay clothed. Jake follows you sliding off his jeans. You go to Jake's bath chest still in place and grab a scent you think will be soothing, adding it to the bath. 
You reach to pull down his boxers, and he shakes his head in a small no. When you start to pull off your shirt, Jake's hands stop you there too. He gives you a pleading look, and you shrug back, leaving your shirt in place. You motion for Jake to get in the bath, and he wordlessly does as you say. Making room for you between his knees, Jake scoots until he hits the back of the tub. You step into the warm water and slide down to settle in.  
Jake's head falls forward so his forehead presses into the space where your shoulder and neck meet, taking deep breaths. You shudder, feeling the air of his breath against your neck. Jake's large hands are gripping the side of the bathtub hard. You are shocked that the feeling of the wet clothes sticking to your skin hasn't rocketed you out of the bathtub. But like it often is, it's hard to focus on anything that's not Jake when he is this close to you. 
After a while, when Jake lifts his head and leans back, you do as well, leaning into his chest, his arms slide around you, pulling you even closer, as you draw imaginary designs on one of his forearms. 
"What's it mean for us?" You finally ask him. 
"I'm worse than I was before," Jake says to you quietly. 
"Before me?" And that actually makes you want to cry because it sounds so true. Things certainly would have been less variable without you around in Jake's life. No one to throw him off his routines. And before him weren't you better able to protect your heart better than this? You had been calloused and strong before. Living with Jake and in this house has been like a fine grit sandpaper buffing you so now you only have smooth soft edges. 
Has that been the way it's been between the two of you this whole time, something bad that was disguised as good? You can't come up with an answer, and apparently, neither can he. So it sits there, wilting, rotting between the two of you.
The silence is loud and almost echoes in the bathroom, with no room to hide. You finally take one of Jake's hands in yours and play with his fingers. He seems content with this, relaxing even further into the water. One of his knees occasionally bumping into you playfully, as if you could forget that he was there, as if there were anything besides Jake on your radar. 
Then he is whispering your name against your neck, right behind your ear. Gooseflesh bursts across your skin, and his beard is coarse and scratchy against your sensitive skin not having been trimmed once since it started growing. You try to shift away but his lips follow you. Tired of the game you reach a hand behind you and fist it into Jake's long hair, tightly tugging his face away from your neck. Jake gasps in response. 
You drop your hand feeling like he has been sufficiently warned from the action, which you know would have descend into tickling. Jake grabs your wrist and turns it, and then ghosts his lips over your pulse point. After two more soft kisses there he presses three to your palm, and on each finger. Each press of his lips is intoxicating even in a place as insignificant as your hand. With your ring finger Jake's kisses are three times as long and lingering. It's an action that has you slamming your eyes closed to keep the tears from escaping. He finally releases your arm and you drop your hand back into the warm water. 
Something starts to thaw out there, in your chest. The combination of the physical warmth of the bath and Jake's blazing body heat. However, it is the feeling, the emotional warmth of it that makes the difference. You tremble slightly feeling completely overwhelmed, the idea of being anywhere else or trying to move is devastating to your system. 
"Sugar pie?"
"Yes, Jakobi?" You answer back just as quietly 
"We haven't been doing so good, have we?"
"No."
"Our mental health?"
"Positively dismal. We both probably need to be institutionalized." You tell him. Jake nods along, in understanding with your words. 
"Do you think I could convince them to let us be roomies there too?" 
"Not sure even you could swing that one, honey." You respond. Jake's eyes and whole face positively light up moments after you say the words. 
"Honey?"
You hum thinking it over before smiling and nodding, "Yup."
"But that's my nickname for you," Jake says in a pouting tone but the bright expression he is wearing hasn't dimmed. 
"Yeah, and sugar, darling, babycakes, anything related to pie—"
"I called you Huckleberry pie once and—"Jake protests but you barrel onwards cutting him off. 
"Well no more honey for you anymore. You use half the sweet names under the sun, I'm allowed to have one. And I think it's honey." You cup Jake's scratchy bearded cheeks and smile softly. "You're my honey, now." 
"Why honey?"
"Because you're so sweet."
"I'm not," Jake says brokenly, all playfulness having been sucked out of him. His head is heavy in your palm as he eases into your hold.
 "You're sweet," you repeat more firmly. Then continue, "Plus I can just imagine how snug and happy you would be in those honey combs."
"Hexagons are one of the superior shapes," Jake sighs.
"Sure they ar, and you are golden like honey." You run your fingers through Jake's hair again. He shutters hiding those sad green eyes from you.  
"I never knew just how blond the sun could make your hair," You sigh when you reach the end, scratching back up his scalp to repeat the process. You are turned fully to face him now, sloshing the water a bit to settle more comfortably. However Jake doesn't move, he seems almost as if he could be a statue made of glowing gold. 
"This tan also makes no sense," you tell him, trailing your hands over his shaped shoulders. 
He squints a single eye open at you, and you freeze as if you've been caught. Instead Jake's hand's pull your knees to settle on either side of his hips. Dragging you that much closer to him. It makes your breath hitch and Jake's eyes darken, however, he still leaves a bit of space. 
"One of my grandpas was Italian," Jake says with a quirk of his lips. The single eye he had opened closed as the smile melted off his face. Your hands resume their path, after massaging Jake's shoulders you knead his neck. Which just leads to playing with his hair again. Your train of thought was lost until you noticed a small light but fresh scar on the top of his bicep. You lean forward and  gloss your lips over the skin there. Jake's hand tightens where he is holding your thighs. He takes a careful breath in through his nose, and a long exhale. He follows that up with two more shallow but steady breaths and then just like that the tension releases from his body as he releases the air out.
"Where did you learn how to breathe like that, cowboy?" You ask him, letting your thumb continue to trace the strange new scar you have been examining. 
"Oh, so, I'm cowboy now?"
"Mr. Cowboy, my honey." You coo back. Jake's eyes flutter open again, he blinks slowly at you heavily lidded.  
"You are avoiding the question." You prompt him by raising an eyebrow. 
"It's not as bad as you're probably thinking," Jake answers a moment later. 
"I'm thinking, you did a whole summer of Vipassana, and meditation in some foreign country that made you have concerns about being that white guy(™)."  
As his lips lift in response to your joke, you think Jake's dimples are some of the prettiest things in this world. Suddenly, you find it unacceptable that his beard hides any part of them from your view. You see the hint of them but it's not the same you think as you trace the shape of one. Your left hand remains pressed over the new scar you had discovered. 
"We both know I could never do vipassana."
"I have evidence to the contrary," the words fall from your lips before you can stop them, and you regret them instantly. 
"Don't be mean to me," he begs you. In the same breath he speaks the words you are already halfway through saying, sorry.
"I'm working on leaving it I promise," You tell him.
"We don't have to leave it, we could talk about it." Jake suggests hopefully. 
"We are leaving it Jake," you say back sharply and he snaps his mouth shut chewing at the side of his cheek for a moment before responding. 
"Okay. I know I hurt you deep, and it's still fresh," Jake responds. His jaw clenches and you feel it jump.  
"So, it wasn't meditation? Is this going to be another riveting USNA story?" You ask him, steering the conversation back on a lighter track. 
"It was before Annapolis."
"Tell me more," you laugh, dropping your hold on his face, leaning forward and resting your check against his bicep.  
"You're going to laugh at me," he pouts.
"I find that an entirely likely probability," you answer teasingly. 
"I had to take friendship classes in middle school." 
"I'm sorry, you did what?" You ask Jake to repeat, trying to process this bit of information. 
"This other kid and I hated each other, and we were constantly getting into it. The worst part is we had lockers right next to each other. He accidentally hit me with his locker, and I lost it. So, I slammed his head right back and we started brawling. Anyways, long story short, our school counselor made us take friendship classes, and taught us breathing techniques. It was all bull shit, but we ended up being friends afterwards, bonding over how stupid friendship class was."
"At least you got some good breathing techniques." 
"Something like that," Jake laughs back. 
"What's this one then? It's new." you say ghosting your lips over the scar you had found again. Jake sighs, glancing at the scar himself. 
"You are going to be mad," he starts. 
"Why would I be mad, honey?"
"I got two more moles removed." The admission makes you pull back and give Jake a weary suspicious glare. 
"Have you not been wearing sunscreen again?"
"No, I've been wearing sunscreen ever since you told me about it, I promise. The Doc just asked about one of them and wanted to do a biopsy. So, I said he might as well just take them all off while he was at it."
"And?" 
"Everything came back benign. Nothing to really worry about, Sugar."
"I always worry about you, Jakers." You sigh with relief and kiss that scar again, enjoying the feeling of having your head pillowed on his arm. 
"I know, I'm sorry." Jake whispers back. You wish he had just left it as I know. 
"I don't want to make you worse, Jake."
"You don't make me worse. I am worse, no one has ever inspired me to act quite as selfishly as you have. I don't even know how to wholly be anymore without you." 
"I just want to make things better for you." 
Jake groans quietly, "Maybe someday it will finally click that you make everything better. That you are stunning, and gorgeous, and just over all the best." 
"We could clear cut a forest, and not find a single tree that's sappier than you Jake." It inspires a quirk of his lips but not the laugh you were hoping for.
"You are probably right," is all Jake says back, continuing to trace shapes into your skin. It's quiet for a long time as you two just exist together, coming down from the emotional turmoil of the night. 
Eventually, You ask, "Jake, where are you?" 
"I don't know. I don't know, Sugar," He sighs and tilts his head back letting out an exhausted breath. 
"Are you in the clouds?" You ask. He thinks before shaking his head no. 
"Are you on the ocean?"
He feels the water around him briefly then settles his hands on your skin again. "It doesn't appear so."
"Are you on base?"
"No." 
"So, where are you?"
"I know I'm here with you sugar, it just doesn't feel real." Jake answers. 
You examine him closely from his wet hair to the defined muscles of his shoulders and neck. How much muscle Jake gained deployment almost pushed him into a category you would describe as too buff, but not actually going over the edge. As you trace the shape of his face you can easily identify what one of the problems is. 
"You are being suffocated," you tell him as your fingers trace up his cheeks and around through his hair there.
"Why do you have a beard Jake?" You ask in a gentle curious tone. 
"I don't have to shave until I go back to work."
"You should shave sooner," You say encouragingly. 
"Too tired," Jake says, stretching out one of his legs in the water. 
"Do you want help?"
"You want to give me a shave, sugar?"
"I'd be willing to give it a go if you feel like it would help," you answer plainly. He thinks about it before nodding. 
"It would." 
That's all you need to hear before you are stepping out of the bath. Immediately you hate how the wet material of your shirt clings to your skin. So, you quickly rip it off and throw it into the shower. Jake groans behind you and you point a finger back at him while grabbing fresh towels and Jake's shaving kit from beside the sink.  
"It's nothing you haven't seen and you can control yourself," you chastise him. 
"But you are so fucking beautiful," Jake groans making absolutely no effort to hide the way his eyes trace over your body. 
"You were two minutes from falling asleep."
"That was before," Jake whines as you come back to the bath and he sees you in even more detail. 
You set the shaving kit to the side within easy reach and settle yourself back into the water. You sit so your bare chest is pressed against his. This makes Jake close his eyes throwing his head back  whispering a quiet "Fuck."
When his eyes open again, they are slightly dilated with lust. It makes you smile at him whispering, "hi there." 
"Hi," he breaths back.
"Hi," you say again, smiling wider. Jake can't stop himself from smiling as well, lips drawn upwards. His hands trace up your bare sides and you give him a small glare. Grabbing his chin you tilt his head back once more. 
"Yup, hold yourself just like that," You tell him, pausing to make sure he doesn't move. You start to lather up some shaving cream spreading it along this neck. 
"Have you shaved someone else before?" Jake questions. 
"Not really. So, you might want to give me pointers. I don't want to cut your pretty face." You answer with a teasing tone. 
Jake hums in acknowledgement thinking for a long moment. Then he starts to detail the intricate shaving ritual he normally keeps. You follow each one of the steps. It's a slow process, shaving him. You are worried that you will cut him or make some other mistake in the process. Jake isn't hesitant or shy about giving you sweet and gentle encouragement. 
Finally, Jake's face is free of hair again. You help wipe away the remaining product, and dab on the aftershave in his kit you brought over. Jake winces but gives you a tentative smile when you stare at him examining your work. You smile back softly, setting things down that are in your way, feeling relieved to be done. 
The two of you finish your bath before getting out and drying off. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you head back to your room changing and settling into bed. Jake follows not long after in a pair of comfy pants and a soft muscle shirt. He asks if he can join you in bed even though you already pulled the covers back while waiting for him. 
Jake takes a bit of shifting to get comfortable until he is laying on his side facing you, meeting your gaze as you shift to see him better. You lift a hand to cup his face enjoying the fresh smooth skin there. 
"Ah, there he is," you say with a soft sigh. The lines of Hangman's face are prominent and easy to follow again. A tear spills from Jake's eye and you push it away gently. Leaning forwards Jake angles his lips to barely brush over yours before he pulls back. 
"Please?" You ask him, going to follow his lips for more. 
"I don't think we should," Jake responds and snuggles his face into your neck to avoid the temptation of your lips. 
"But we fit. We fit perfectly," you whisper. 
"That's exactly the problem," Jake answers. "I won't do wrong by you again. And that means I don't want to rush anything. Are you in a hurry?"
"Does that have a timeline?" You ask, ignoring your frustration. 
"It does in a general sense."
"Care to share?"
"Sure," Jake mutters tiredly into your neck. "I think it's been going for a while. Right?"
"That's right," You answer, letting your hand drift into his long hair. It is almost all the way dry now and fluffy. He had a haircut scheduled before he started work again leaving you only a few days left to savor this. His eyes close, and a small smile graces his face. With a gentle scratch of your nails against his scalp a tiny whine tumbles out of him. Jake seems too tired to care anymore. His nose just nuzzles your neck, and he places a tiny kiss there. You sigh, and resume playing with the silky strands. 
"And how long before we have it all figured out, Honey?" You ask. 
"As I see it, the rest of our lives. So, give or take sixty-ish more years."
"We are making it the long haul huh?"
"Yes, Ma'am. We will, so there's absolutely no reason to start at a sprint." 
"I thought you had a need for speed." You tell him teasingly. 
Jake huffs into your neck, sucking in a deep breath he blows it out slowly tickling your skin. "I have a great comeback for that."
"Oh really?" 
He hums in affirmation. Then he sleepily manages to crack an eye open and looks at you, while he mumbles, "But I am a sleepy boy. Wait, no…  a sleepy man"
You chuckle and kiss Jake's forehead. "Goodnight, sleepy boy"
"Sleepy man," he tries to correct you, but the words are hardly coherent. It takes less than five minutes before Jake is fully asleep, and you aren't far off yourself. Jake is so warm, and itis so easy to match your breaths with his deep even ones. Falling into a dream where you spend sixty years with Jake, even there in your dream you realize that still might not be enough. 
… 
Read the rest of this chapter on AO3. Sorry again, Tumblr wouldn't let me put it all here (and that it's so long). My first reblog of this here on Tumblr has the other half as well.
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neuroprincess · 1 year ago
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August - Larissa Weems/Female Reader
Larissa Weems/Female Reader
Summary: Larissa has heard rumors that make her curious, anyway she can't help but be surprised when she meets August, the supposed copy of Principal Weems and coincidentally another shapeshifter.
Classification: Light angst (?)
Warnings: Maybe a almost sad talk about being a teenager, OC (original character)
Word count: +1800
Part One | Part Two | Part Three (soon)
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Unrevised
Walking through the halls of Nevermore she hears rumors, small conversations between students as she passes and they believe she won't hear, part of these conversations is something about the next event at the academy or some bizarre gossip they made up spreading like flames, but now most of them are about a new student that was accepted in the new semester. Slowly she was gathering information, in short the girl apparently looks like her physically, hair so blonde it approaches white, pale skin, blue eyes, long eyelashes and tall, at least taller than most of the students. No additional information, no names or anything that makes her outstanding beyond appearance. Even so Larissa couldn't find her anywhere, for almost a week she was curious and unconsciously searched for someone who matched the characteristics, there weren't any kids but a boy who dyed the hair. At least until the fountain in the courtyard was filled with pink bubble soap and soon they pointed to a newbie, a brunette girl, with green eyes and tanned skin trying not to look nervous as if she was fighting for body expression not to give her away, which didn't work, startled eyes stared at the principal and she couldn't even deny when asked about.
"I don't think I've seen you here before." the woman says and sitting down in the chair while the teenager does the same in the armchair, eyes down avoiding eye contact "New student?"
"Yeah..." is all she says "Look, I swear I don't do it anymore, I just..."
"Hey, calm down! You weren't the first kid to mess up at Nevermore and won't be the last, believe me, I've faced worse pranks." she laughs and opens the laptop "So, you are?"
"August."
"Okay!" she focuses on the screen searching for the name, but finds nothing but a list of names that are similar or have as a middle name "I don't..." when she raises a gaze finds a totally different person sitting there and she gives a little jump of surprise.
It's the girl with white hair, all the characteristics described in flesh and blood. Her light hair is wavy and cut at shoulder length, the skin is pale and this highlights the big blue eyes, she is tall, evident by the bone structure and the big legs that try to cross each other awkwardly. And she understands why she has caused so many rumors, she is incredibly alike to the woman, they share the same nose, shape of lips, and their expressions are eerily similar, as when she frowns. As if Larissa is staring at a younger version of herself.
"I'm sorry, I'm used to introducing myself like this, you can find me by Lara August." she shrugs the shoulders and blushes, feeling guilty for making her waste her time in research.
"Shapeshifter?"
"Yeah, I guess, that's what they put on my record." the principal looks at her confused and the girl sighs "And what my mom says, she's a normie."
"Oh, I get it." Larissa types the girl's name and soon a record is being loaded, the internet doesn't help the process "You know, you can return to your normal form, I know being a shapeshifter can be cool, but I need you to be yourself."
"This is my normal form." the woman doesn't believe this and just shrugs shoulders at what appears to be some sort of rebellion or joke about her appearance "Principal Weems, am I really screwed? My mom works a lot and it's hard for her to get here. So if you could not involve her I would appreciate it."
"I'll have to let her know anyway, but I don't think her presence is necessary." the record continues to load and this frustrates her, it's not uncommon for the signal to drop interrupting her activities "Now tell me, why did you do that?"
"I... I don't know, maybe I was just trying to stand out... and make friends." the teen confesses and snorts, throwing herself against the armchair, her expression isn't angry or frustrated, it actually looks sad.
"You're a shapeshifter, you could easily stand out since they're not so common these days."
"That's not how it works, Principal Weems! Everyone has something to be outstanding at, whether it's grades, arts, fencing or other sports. My grades are average, I'm a disaster at sports and I already tried to join the yearbook club, but they turned me down." she blurts out and finally looks her in the eye "So I tried to be the funny one and danced in the first prank, something added to the list to be terrible at."
"You remind me of me as a teenager, it's a tough phase, no?! But you don't have to try so hard to get them to like you, if someone approaches you that's for who you are and what you represent to them. You know, being a shapeshifter is a big deal and it can confuse you, change shape, voice, personality. It's all confusing and you feel that you can be someone different, someone they love, but that's not you and it's important not to let yourself get lost. You are special and you stand out in your own way."
"I didn't want to be like that, I wanted to be someone better, cool and maybe normal, sorry to say that, but I feel so out of place here and out of here too." her eyes tear up, but Lara soon wipes it away before tears could fall "You don't have to hear or see this. What will be my punishment?"
"Well..." Larissa turns her eyes back to the laptop and the record finally seems to have loaded, her name written in graphical letters Lara August Leonore Y/L/N, she swallows dryly at the sight of the familiar surname and mentally tries to reassure herself that it's a common surname, then continues to read the record at a glance, the girl was born in late 2006 far from Jericho and as she runs her eyes over the names of parents she chokes on her own saliva "You said your mom is a normie right?"
"Yes, she worked in Jericho as a youth and moved away before she had me."
"Y/N?" Larissa read and reread the name on the record, but still can't assimilate what she had just read "Are you Y/N Y/L/N's daughter?"
"Yes, do you know her?"
"We're old friends." she says simply, trying not to sound shocked or uncomfortable "She used to work in a cafe in Jericho."
"I think she told me that...since you know her, can you brandish my punishment please?"
"We've barely met and you're already asking me for favors, Lara?!" she jokes and the two laugh exchanging amused glances "Your punishment would be lenient, but since you asked I'm going to have to order you to stay a week without shapeshifting. I'll keep an eye on you. Right?"
"Right! I'll try not to shapeshift, only in case of life and death. Girl Scout's word!" she raises the right hand and swears, happy that she was able to resolve this without having to involve or call her mom, she had never been in the presence of the principal so it was a nice surprise when she was pleasant and understanding.
"And you're going to get the pink paint off the edges of the fountain."
"Very fair. Thank you Principal Weems!" she stands up and extends her hand, waiting to be shaken, but Larissa doesn't get up in shock at the girl's height, when they said she was tall they meant really tall, measuring enough to reach her shoulder even while wearing heels.
"Yes, fair enough. You're free." the blonde finally reaches out and shakes her hand, feeling awkward about the whole interaction after finding out who her mom is. The girl makes mention of leaving the room as she picks up the backpack she left on the armchair "Lara, before you go, who is your father? Shifters are few in our community, maybe I know him."
"If you know him introduce us, I grew up without a parent other than my mom, I don't know who he is." the teenager laughs and turns to leave, but before she turns to the woman again "Please call me August, I prefer it. And I love your eyeliner"
"Thank you, August!" she says goodbye in a nod and waits for the girl to close the door before letting out a long heavy sigh "Y/N and a child? No way."
She says to herself and analyzes the whole situation, as much as this possibility hit her deep in the chest and made stomach flip in a strange way, Larissa still can't believe. Not in a thousand years. That girl is a copy of herself physically, while they were talking she realized that even the teeth and the wide smile are the same, the mannerisms are also similar, how the legs come together when they are not crossed, the way she blinks when relaxed and, mainly, how she feels about her abilities. Her teenage years were like that, trying to fit in, and she doesn't deny that she changed her form to please people sometimes, trying to be accepted in social groups until she realized that it was okay to be eccentric in her own way. Despite being similar to her in many ways the director realizes that she has some Y/N things, she saw this after learning of her link and immediately recognized what she found alike in her from the beginning, the sweet eyes. She remembers those same eyes staring at her fondly when they kissed after a hard day, with devotion when lying in bed, with animosity on late night encounters, with anger when she said she was still not over Morticia even after 10 years and with pain when she left carrying only a suitcase with her. That's what she thought until she met August. Because although the world is big there aren't many coincidences that would lead to the teenager being born eight months after she and Y/N broke off their engagement. Nor to her coincidentally being one of the only shifters in Nevermore. Much less to Lara August being a copy of her.
She puts face between her hands and looks at the record again, there beside it is the phone number of the girl's mom. Larissa wonders if she should call or not, after all, it has been more than 16 years since the last time they saw each other or talked, because both of them thought it was better to cut ties completely to avoid suffering more from the breakup. They changed phone numbers, no longer asked about each other to mutual friends and slowly disposed of the memory of their respective existences like a paper that burns in flames becoming ashes. She quickly dials the phone number, without thinking further and taking a breath of courage. Larissa isn't dumb, everything points to something and Y/N would have to explain herself. Explain how she has a teenage daughter she didn't know, how this happened and why she hid her for so many years.
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justrainandcoffee · 5 months ago
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Against all odds (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc) Part 10.
Crossover Peaky Blinders - Hunger Games
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Masterlist. Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine.
Summary: Rose decided to play her best card during the auction and paid for someone else apart from Nina and Alfie. Soon it was obvious that her impertinence cost her more than money. || It's the beginning of the 74th Hunger Games.
Warnings: Mentions of death, blood, bombs. But nothing graphic. || Only two chapters until the end of this first part of the story.
Words: 3.6 k.|| I'm not responsible for the last line of this chapter 🙃. (I always said that Katniss didn't exist in my fic. Well, here's her replacement. I was dying to introduce her.)
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No one asked why, not even Lawrence. But everyone invited to the auction watched as Mrs. Evert bought not one, not two victors as was customary, but seven.
"We don't judge here," that woman who turned out to be Alfie's abuser had said the first time Rose went to the auction.
They clearly weren't saying it out loud, but Rose felt their gaze on her back.
"I want to make a porn movie. An orgy, hardcore sex," she said, smiling and causing more than one exclamation of outrage. Because there they all were for the same thing, but to say it out loud was almost sinful.
It would go down in Panem's dark history the moment Rosebeth Evert walked out the door with a smile, having left seven checks of considerable sum and exclusivity with them. At least for a weekend.
It had all started before the 73rd games. The song of the twins, the symbol of the dandelion were all over Panem, even the Capitol.
And it was a powerful force that was having a hard time being stopped. Clearly something Snow deeply disapproved of.
The winner of the 73rd games had been a boy from district 2. One more that the careers managed to add to their list of winners. That wasn't news, if it wasn't one of Jack's tributes, it was one of the indomitable District 1. What was news around Panem, was how the tributes from 6, 7, 8 and 11, had sung the twins' song during the seconds before the bloodbath.
Those who managed to survive the initial carnage, kept singing until they couldn't go on. Either because the careers took care of them or because it was the Gamemakers who took matters into their own hands.
But it was too late. The song once again, had stuck in the memory of the entire country. And if those districts rose up against the Capitol, especially district 11, the others would follow like a domino effect.
And Snow wasn't going to let that happen. Unless he didn't know what was going on.
That was why Rose, with consent of those involved, had offered money for them and now in addition to Alfie and Nina as usual, Eva and Jack, Tommy and Lucy and Aveline Young had joined in.
The house Rose had bought years ago was large enough to accommodate them all. And out of the way so that no one would be disturb.
Communication between her and Aberama Gold had not been interrupted in that year and a half. And a friendship had formed between the two.
Snow, in his eagerness to break people until there was nothing left of them had not realized that certain pieces could rejoin with others and that had happened with them.
And Rose knew that the time had come to tell the rest what was going on inside the Capitol itself, away from the cameras and the glamour of the games.
The three peacekeepers guarding the seven who had arrived at Rose's mansion left after leaving them at the property. It was rare to see them outside the context of the games, but necessary. None of them, apart from Nina and Alfie - especially him - really knew Rose so some of them like Aveline, Jack and Tommy were there because they trusted him or victors like Lucy and Eva who seemed to be more open to meeting her.
"The dorms are upstairs," she told them "and each one has a bathroom. So you don't have to worry and you can use it whenever you want."
"This is the house Evert paid for?" asked Aveline, without much trouble. She still didn't quite trust and although she had agreed to be there, she was still cautious.
"Avie..." Nina's voice, made the other woman turn her head towards her.
"I'm just asking."
"No," Rose replied, "this is the house I paid myself, working for months, for years, on designing clothes for kids who are inevitably going to die. Contrary to most of my colleagues, I do care about them and I don't dress them with a piece of cardboard; as Nina, if you don't believe me, can testify. Nothing here has Evert's stamp on it."
"Okay then," the black woman nodded before going upstairs to the bedroom that Rose assigned to her.
.
"Aveline still hates me."
"She's not always like that," Alfie replied when the rest of the victors went to their rooms. The one that he and she shared was the only one in the first floor, facing the beautiful garden the house had. He was hugging her from behind, placing kisses on her neck. "You both have several things in common, she just need to see them. Like both are protectors and both have an awful mood when you're angry. Sometimes you can be stubborn, too."
"Hey! I don't have an awful mood."
"With me, maybe. But, sweetheart… it's time to accept it" Rose heard him giggling in her ears and slapped his arms softly.
"Don't be mean."
"I'm not, luv. But you're not exactly a little lamb."
"Well, speaking of moodiness you're the king, Alfie."
"And fucking proud of it."
She couldn't help but laugh. Rose knew that those weren't times to be happy considering that, except a few group of people, millions of others were miserable. But every time they were together, she allowed herself to smile and forget for a moment, the awful world they were living in.
Rose didn't have avoxes in her house. So, it was her the one in charge of cleaning and cooking. Although considering the last one wasn't her best quality, she ordered for food. Maybe Alfie, if he wanted to, could cook at night.
"Sabotage the games?" Aveline asked raising an eyebrow.
"Next year, yes. During the Quarter Quell. Everything it's going to be ready the next months. We need to do this."
"How?"
"That's secret," Rose said again looking at Aveline. "It's not that I don't want to share it. But I don't want to risk any of…"
"Then how we can help if you're keeping it as secret?"
"You need to trust. The Quarter Quell is special. As well all know. You were already a mentor when the 50th games happened, right? So you know how chaotic it'd be."
Except Nina who hadn't been born yet, the rest although young, were old enough to remember the second Quarter Quell. It was massive, the double of tributes. Meaning, not 23 kids died, but 47. Aveline told them that people was completely excited about those games and she remembered the joyful screams near the Tribute Building. The faces of all the presents said it all. That was a really disgusting, but it wasn't nothing they weren't use to it.
"They won't have the time to celebrate after next year," Rose affirmed. "There's something I learnt last year when I met Aberama after those games. And I didn't tell anyone, not even Al. But you two know right? Tigris knows, I bet you're aware of it," she said looking at the Nelsons, especially Eva "the deepest secret that the Capitol have."
"We knew it, not long ago. But… what? Are you planning to go there?"
"Yes. District 13 is alive, it was never destroyed," she said to the rest of them. "They just pretend to the sake of both worlds."
"That's bullshit!" Lucy said, "we all see the images, all the time! As a friendly reminder that we can be the next ones."
"They tried, and evidently succeed, to selling us that story. But it's false, they even have their own president. His name is Campbell. But don't expect a Messiah. According to Aberama, he's like Snow but without the tendency of killing kids. He's not very charmed nor welcomed. But he has the power we don't."
"So he's helping you and this guy Gold, with this idea of sabotage the games?"
"Not entirely. The first part is something I worked over a decade. I promise I'll tell you after the 75th, but I can't now… it's personal. But Aberama has people on district 13 and they accepted the deal. We know we can't trust all the mentors nor the kids that are going to be part of the 75th, but at least a part of us can fight him. And expect for the best."
"Do you know anything about this, Alfie?" questioned Aveline once again.
"No. And I haven't known shit since we met. I just trust her, Avie. You should do the same."
It was then when Rose told the rest about her birthplace. Her life and family in district 8. The number of tesserae with her name in the bowl and how, like them, knew very well what it was to be part of the kids that could die. And how the only difference between them and Rose it was pure luck. Just luck.
"I wish I could save you from the horrors that Evert did to you. You, Eva… what he did to you… I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
"It's not your fault, Rose."
"I married him and he gave me his stupid last name. So since I'm the only Evert here I feel I need to do it. But I'm not him. I'm not! I only knew what he was, when Alfie told me that first year I met him. Since then, I forbid him to touch me. That was 14 years ago. We're still married because it's a great dishonour for a man like him, to divorce. But he doesn't care about me being with Alfie. He loves new things, he's blind. He believes that he's good but he's fucking sick."
"We know," Tommy said. "We, Lucy and I… we're in."
Eva was the first one to accept even when everything was still green and she didn't know exactly when the rebellion was going to start. Jack accepted later, probably influenced by his wife. And Nina was ready to kill Snow from the moment her brother was reaped. The only one left was Aveline and the eyes of them were on her. Soon they got the answer they were waiting for.
"Let's kill this fucker," she said.
_
The victors, weren't allowed to leave the house or apartment of the member of the Capitol who paid for them. But Rose's house was big enough for them to enjoy a bit.
The moment they arrived, Alfie noticed that his wife wasn't alone. The previous month when he and Nina went, Rose was alone as always. But apparently the last few weeks, something changed.
There was a chonky dog, an English Bulldog, next to her. CP, was her name. But Alfie found it so ridiculous that he called her CPU. An in matters of hours, every one was calling her CPU. And apparently, the dog was okay with that.
And that was how started what happened next.
Nina found a little package in front of the house when she opened the door to let CPU go out. It hadn't any name on it, just the address. When she gave it to Rose and she opened it, she found an USB port.
"Maybe Gold sent it," Alfie said.
"No. We have an agreement to not send anything like this. Not even letters, just fortune cookies. This is not him."
"So? Who sent you this?"
"I don't know."
There was only a way to know it. Rose picked up her laptop and went to the kitchen alone to see what it was. There was just one file and it was a video.
From the dinning room, some minutes later, the victors heard the sound of a glass crashing on the floor followed by a scream.
Alfie was the first one to react, the rest went after him.
"Rosie? Rosie!!"
She was frozen looking at the screen, unable to answer to him. But she was crying loudly. His wife didn't react when he put a hand on her shoulder.
"That's district 8," said Jack looking at the video that was playing in loop. "What happened?"
The video showed the desert streets of district 8. Its grey buildings and the smokey air. It seemed that the camera, probably a robot, had a clear destination. Everything happened so quickly that the victors didn't have time to react. One moment the camera was pointing at a specific house and the next one was an explosion and the house became a pile of rubble and fire.
For few minutes the camera was still. The sound was off, so it was impossible to know if someone was screaming or if there was some kind of voices. The camera suddenly moved and pointed at two bloody bodies next to the house, clearly dead. A woman and a young man. The video ended several seconds later and after a moment started again.
Alfie was now hugging her but Rose didn't hug him back. She was in shock.
"I think is her mother," Aveline said. "Alfie, does she have brothers?"
"Two…" he replied, still hugging her "Oh god. Rosie, luv… look at me, sweetheart. Look at me. I need you to come back, please, luv."
The rest was in silence. Nobody said a thing but it wasn't necessary either. Only one person could be capable of such thing and they all knew who it was.
"Louis," was the first thing she said, looking at him. "That was Lou. My little brother Louie. He was a man now. And my mom… my…"
Only then Rose hugged Alfie and cried against him. "I'm here, luv. I'm here." He guided her out of the kitchen, towards their bedroom.
"The fucking bastard," Nina exploded. "He wants all of us dead, doesn't he? Son of a bitch! Killing kids isn't enough! Making us revive our nightmares over and over again, isn't enough!"
She kicked a chair that fell on the floor. "I'm tired! I'm so tired! She did nothing! Nothing!"
"Snow doesn't needs reasons, Nina," Eva said "I guess he believed that it was suspicious that Rose paid for seven victors and acted in consequence. I'm genuinely surprised that he didn't do it before."
"Maybe he was just waiting," her husband said.
Lucy and Aveline were in silence watching the video again. Then both of them exclaimed something at the same time which caused the rest averted their attention to them.
"The shadow!" said Lucy pointing at the screen. "Avie told me she saw something but it's so quickly that you can't see it the first time."
"What shadow?" Tommy asked, watching exactly where Lucy had her finger.
"There's a shadow moving right there, see?"
She was right, barely imperceptible but it was there. Like someone moving the rubbles before running away.
"Alfie said that she had two brothers, right? If the ones that the explosion killed, were her mother and one of her brothers, then logic says that the one moving there is the other one. Maybe not all her family perished."
"It can be anyone, Luce," said Tommy a bit sceptical.
"It can, but we must have hope too, don't you think?"
Tommy said nothing. But Lucy was right they needed to believe that there was hope.
And yet, the mood in the house that started very well suddenly was destroyed by Snow. And around them was only pessimism.
Aveline stayed in the kitchen preparing the dinner, although she knew not all of them were going to eat. Only CPU seemed ready for her meal.
"Lucky you," Aveline said to her giving the animal a piece of cheese. "I wish I could not understand what is going on."
In their bedroom, Alfie was sitting on the mattress with his back against some pillows. Rose was in his arms, facing the wall.
"…she practiced abortions," Rose was saying. "You know, she loved us, the three of us and she was a good mother but she wanted other women to solved their mistakes. It was illegal, but some women and went in search of her to fix the unfixable. I guess she kept doing it these years… I-"
Alfie stroked her hair, she continued speaking after a moment in silence. "I never had the chance to tell her about you. Nor meet my brothers again. I only recognise Louie because of his hair. He was the only one of the three of us with actual curls. It's my fault, Alfie. I killed my family by organising this meeting. I ki…"
"No, no! Luv! Rosie… you don't. It's not your fault, sweetheart. You didn't do this."
It was Snow. Darius Armstrong, the auctioneer, told him that Mrs. Evert paid a fortune for seven victors. He was happy about that when he commented it to the president, a bit scandalised, but it was a night he didn't see before.
But Snow could see beyond that. It took the man several weeks after the auction to find what he was looking for, but he did it.
Rosebeth didn't exist. But Rose Elizabeth Coldwell did. The one that at the age of 19 left her lands in search of a better future in the Capitol. One of the very, very few people who had the chance to live in the Capitol. And Snow believed that she was the only one of those miserable outsiders who really made it into the exclusive circle around him.
Quite dangerous.
Once he found her real identity, it was quite easy know the rest. A mother with an illegal job and two brothers working in a factory, but still living with Mrs. Coldwell because it was impossible to afford a house.
That's when Coriolanus Snow decided to kill them and filmed it.
Maybe that could make Mrs. Evert understand why he was the leader.
Alfie was still comforting Rose when they heard some soft knocks on the door. Nina's voice replied from the other side of the door when he asked who it was.
"What happened?"
"I need to talk."
"It's not the best time, Nina. Rose…"
"No, it's okay," replied the mentioned watching at the younger woman. Nina saw her red puffy eyes and put a hand on her arm.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so mad, Rosie. So mad, so frustrated! We have to let Snow destroy our lives as he pleases. I really want to go to his fucking mansion and stabbed him. I didn't believe it was possible to hate someone this way but-… I won't do it, I swear. It's impossible. But I don't came here to tell you how much I hate Snow, but something else."
"About what?"
"I want you to do something for me. But also for you two… I don't want you to pay for me anymore, no… let me finish," she said before Rose could interrupt or protest. "I'll be forever grateful for what you did for me. The both of you. How you protected me from what for sure, it was going to be an inevitable fate. I don't want to think about it, I don't. But now, years later, you and Alfie deserve time alone. I don't care if you say that I don't bother. Maybe I don't. But if everything is going to shit next year… we don't know if we're going to survive, Rosie. I want to believe we will. But, we don't know. So, I want you two enjoy your time alone. You fucking deserve it."
"Nina, if I don't pay… then…"
"I'll take a risk. I'm an adult, I'll face the consequences if I have to. You always asked me if I agreed with coming here. And I did. So, the same way I'm asking you to do not doing anymore and spend the time with this idiot you call husband," Nina said smirking briefly at her ex mentor.
Alfie rolled his eyes at the last words. He was proud of her and thankful too, but he remained in silence. He probably will say it when both of them were returning to district 9, two days later.
"What do you say?" the girl asked.
"It's that what you want?" Rose asked and Nina nodded, so the woman agreed. She was crying again when this time Nina hugged her warmly.
.
If the the shadow in that video was Samuel Coldwell or not, it was impossible to know.
Jack had cut the video to avoid showing Rose the corpses of her relatives. But he kept the part where the shadow could be seen. Those seconds were what they showed her. But it was impossible to distinguish it.
And yet, she embraced the idea of what her brother was still alive. Sam was always hard to catch, maybe he could avoid Snow. She hoped so.
That Sunday they kept talking about district 13 and the best ways to tell the future tributes about the rebellion.
But first they needed to face the 74th Hunger Games. And they didn't know the calamity that it was about to happen.
The group left Rose's mansion early Monday as it was usual escorted by the peacekeepers. Only Alfie would return there to all of them. Rose would only see the rest during the games.
Nina was right, her time alone with Alfie was something that she craved. And also Alfie. But they didn't know they were living the last moments together before the beginning of the war.
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During the reaping day, District 9 got its tributes. A girl who was 17 and a boy who was 14. Everything that Alfie and Nina expected. Two skinny and malnourished teeangers who had to face the consequences of an inevitable death.
But the news arrived from district 8.
The boy was 18. The girl was 16. The problem began when no one volunteered in her place, despite the fact she was 7 months pregnant.
NEXT
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thenamesblurrito · 1 year ago
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assorted Transformers fics to rec (part two!)
first list here! have more fics i missed the first time or discovered since then or were recommended to me by others! if you decide to read these, i recommend leaving a comment if you can to encourage the writers and show some love! 🥰 note: the ones marked with * were ones i read a long time ago and did not reread before adding them to this list, so i am going off the good vibes in my memory
An Act of Revenge for Crimes Uncommitted
canon soup, incomplete, AO3. young Orion Pax wakes up mutilated, empurata'd, and his assailants punished him for the crimes of one Optimus Prime. ooooo this is kind of heartwrenching, truly intriguing and unjust and mmmmm drama. time travel, gore, mind the tags here, a fascinating look at a bad timeline! some of the functionism stuff in here actually helped inspire my own functionist setup in SNAP
Blackout and Reboot
canon soup, complete multichap, AO3. amnesia was not on the table when Thundercracker agreed to go undercover as a human. giant robot aliens weren't on the table when Marissa took it upon herself to help the weirdest guy she'd ever met. it's a match made in heaven. i love this fic okay it's got some fantastic wth moments and TC being TC and Marissa being awesome and just. i like it. the writing could use some technical polish but the action and plot concept are good, and the fun alien/human interactions are my jam. has a sequel i haven't read
Canonfodder*
TFP, incomplete, Spacebattles. a series of harrowing updates from a poor hapless nobody isekai'd into the body of a Vehicon on dead Cybertron, and all the nonsense that spirals from there. i like this one, the pacing can get a lil jagged and the technical skill of the writing is a bit off but that's often the nature of these forum fics, i didn't mind it. definitely love the inclusion of Kup, and space video games, and the limited but interesting choices the protag can make when presented with such a dismal situation makes for a very compelling, journal-style story. if you don't know how to navigate forum fics like this, just use the links in the first post to skip to each snippet
Catching Feelings
TFA, oneshot with sequel, AO3. Bumblebee and Charlie are clearly a Thing, so what's Optimus doing thinking about her so much? honestly i just like this ship concept especially in a TFA context, it's very cute and awwwww poor Op, sorry you're experiencing emotions!
Commonality and Misunderstandings
canon soup, incomplete, AO3. a collection of scenes showing just how humans and mecha can figure each other out, no matter how wide the cross-cultural divide. this is cute! i like the human OCs and the shenanigans. talks about gender perceptions, has some mech-preg mentions, and hits some good emotional moments
the consequences of being a vehicle on Earth - even if only as a part-timer
TFA, oneshot, AO3. out of everyone who has to deal with the legality of autonomous sentient vehicles, it's Fanzone. dear god, save him. a very funny little read that honestly addresses some things i constantly wonder about re: driving laws and the bots. nothing more tortuous than the DMV!
Curious Thing, Isn't It?
vaguely G1, oneshot, AO3. the Ark crew, freshly crashed on Earth and uncomprehending of English, discover one of the tiny squishy native inhabitants. a very cute little scene, i love the variety of reactions and how they treat the kid they found
A Fourth to Remember
G1, oneshot, AO3. it's the 4th of July, and Wheeljack has taken it upon himself to make a fireworks show. lovely little story of his typical nonsense taken large-scale, and some interesting culture collision too!
The Great Space Opera
IDW/TFP crossover, incomplete, AO3. Brainstorm does a whoopsie and uh oh, is that Team Prime in the Lost Light? only a little bit written but VERY fun and i love the mindbending reactions of Ratchet meeting Ratchet. the whole premise is just. mwah
Introduction to Cybertronian Biomechanics
canon soup, incomplete, AO3. a small collection of medical essays and articles detailing a breakdown of anatomy. really fascinating, very coherent explanation that manages to condense canon and fanon into something understandable, perhaps even plausible!
Liberty Island's Decisive Battle: Godzilla vs Trypticon!
Aligned/Godzilla crossover, oneshot, AO3. when Trypticon is resurrected by dark energon and heads towards New York, Fowler remembers a certain other giant lizard monster that might be able to help. Rescue Bots cameo, Miko gets to speak Japanese, Godzilla is awesome, this is just the fic ever
Malto Family Search & Rescue
ES, oneshot, AO3. a Decepticon named Thundercracker shows up at the Malto home in the middle of the night to beg a vital favor: help find his lost dog! SUCH a cute and good and wonderful little fic that fits right in to canon!! i love TC and i love the Malto family interactions and just. oogh lovely little fic. has sequels that i am saving for a rainy day pick me up
marriages of convenience (and the inconvenience of explaining them)
IDW, oneshot, AO3. Minimus is a widower. this fun fact is dropped rather unceremoniously. the painful awkwardness is marvelously in character, there are feelings and funnies and an uncomfortably heartfelt discussion about this matter-of-fact revelation that manages to characterize each of them so well, especially Minimus
Murder Mystery Night
IDW, oneshot, AO3. it's NIGHTBEAT'S NIGHT, BABY! lovely little mystery following around the Lost Light's greatest detective when a fun game night is abruptly shut down by a real actual murder! can Nightbeat find the killer in time?
nothing is more sacred than any other thing
vaguely G1, oneshot, AO3. Skyfire is a nerdy scientist with nerdy friends, which means most shenanigans surrounding him are nerdy. very cute and fun little fic about friends and mushrooms and Starscream being duped! first in a series of oneshots that i haven't gotten around to reading yet but look equally lovely
Objectification
G1, oneshot, AO3. a human and a Cybertronian have very different opinions on who exactly the victim is in an oversexualized music video. stupid funny and good, just the way i like it! last line kills me
Optimus Prime is Destined to Die!!
canon soup AU, incomplete, AO3. poor little Orion is isekai'd into a Cybertronian fantasy light novel as one of the soon-to-die forgettable side characters: the cold prince Optimus Prime. supposed to be MegOp but that hasn't really shown up yet. fantastic premise i leapt at immediately, with interesting royal politics and classic isekai tropey vibes. it's a little slow in places from a lot of (warranted!) purple prose introspection, but i find it cool enough to read through and follow poor Orion adjusting to his new existence!
Return Me to the Stars
TFA AU, incomplete, AO3. when a near-dead little Prime is picked up by the Nemesis, it sparks a lot of shenanigans, mysteries, and interesting political developments, all thanks to Optimus being Optimus. i really love the way this fic is developing, with a terrified Autobot in enemy territory doing the best he can, an expanded cast of Decepticons, a lot of fun worldbuilding, and very engaging and dynamic interactions. features a good bit of whump for our tough lil Prime. tagged as MegOP which is still slowly developing, pretty realistically taking their time to find some kind of even footing without breaking their characterization which i greatly appreciate! the writing itself could use some spellchecking but the plot and pacing are very engaging nonetheless
Scaredy-Car
G1, oneshot, AO3. i love a good comedic misunderstanding and boy the assumptions people are making about Breakdown are WHOOF. kinda cracky, a smidgeon dirty, and just the right amount of loserness that is the entirety of the Decepticon army
The Season of the Smallest Stars
sorta IDW/Stardew Valley crossover?, incomplete, AO3. you weren't expecting a small troop of adorable little robots to help you with your farmwork. a very soft cute little fic, i love it!!! never played SV but it's easy enough to follow along anyway, and i love the cute beeping Lost Light bots helping out our farmer
Second Star From Morning
technically IDW, incomplete, AO3. only a little bit written but SELF INSERT BABYYYYYYYYY gotta love it when your protagonists are aware that this is in fact a fictional character! the panic, the questions, the wahuh?? captivating premise, i hope the author comes back to it someday
Skywarp And The Wonders Of The Unnatural World
G1, oneshot, AO3. their summary sums it up best: "The Elite Trine have a very serious and mature debate on the existence of mythical creatures." extremely funny to me, i LOVE when they're stupid and petty and catty and silly!! Skywarp is so dumb i love him so much
Small Problems*
G1, ongoing series, AO3. average human Crystal finds some shrunken Autobots lost in the big city, and her life only gets weirder from there. an OC-centric series that--spoilers for later in the series--may have been one of the original "human turned into Transformer" fics! the whole series goes from sweet and funny to heartwrenching and angsty, with a lot of in between. i love the OC and sympathize with the horrible things she ends up going through, and also the heights to which she rises! slowburn Prowl/OC, with a bit of love triangle with Jazz in there too (funfact this was the second ever piece of media in which i encountered Blurr)
Sparkless
TFP, incomplete, AO3. a Vehicon left behind finds itself fixed up by a human, and might just gain some personhood along the way. a VERY sweet little story oogh i love this Vehicon!! poor thing i want to give them hot chocolate and a blankie. it's a lovely story with an intriguing premise
Stop Me*
TFP, incomplete (but with over 200 chapters), FFN. Starscream nearly dies at the claws of the Predacons... and then he's alive again, in the past, as if none of that ever happened. a rather (in?)famous fic in the fandom, i've found, although when i first read it i didn't know that. a very interesting take on a Starscream redemption AU, paired with some fascinating outlier power moments! a little bit wooby about Screamer (maybe a lot wooby?), a lot of whump, a lot of emotion, maybe some hints of StarOP idk if that's become an actual ship since i last checked. ymmv on this one depending on your Starscream opinions but i was hooked for the whole time for sure! i need to catch up, it's technically still updating. also the author has another, shorter, complete Starscream redemption fic which i also enjoyed, check that out too
A Streetcar Named Traitor
G1, oneshot, AO3. Megatron doesn't take Starscream's defection well and Optimus has had enough. very stupid, very funny, makes me cackle as Megsy gets dunked on
Sudden Active Development... I certainly feel SAD at the moment*
TFP, incomplete, Spacebattles. another isekai forum fic, this time somebody gets dropped into the body of Nemesis Prime and has to deal with running around as an Optimus lookalike! i like the misunderstandings and the process of adapting to a strange new body. some stilted dialogue, and it gets a little weird about gender perception but i can gloss over that. ramps up with more canon characters, a sprinkling of OCs, and completely taking canon off the rails within the last few posts! this one has threadmarks for easy navigation
Turning Points*
vaguely G1 AU, incomplete, FFN. Prowl was one of the most brilliant tacticians among the Decepticons, and then they destroyed his home. it's gonna be a long climb into the good graces of the Autobots for this defector. an absolutely fantastic character driven piece with a brilliant premise, i love how Prowl is written. and the politics of defecting and dealing with a security hazard, mmmmm good!
An Uneasy Partnership*
sorta G1/Armada/canon soup?, ongoing series, FFN. Alexis keeps an unruly Starscream in her barn. this can only go well. this series is WILD, it escalates and gets worse and then better and then worse again, you root for Screamer and then you hate him, poor Alexis is on a constant horrid rollercoaster but hey, (spoilers), she gets a cool robot body and also a tyrant king boyfriend out of it??? but man is it a long, manipulative, whumpy road to get there. the powerplays and emotional turmoil in their dynamic just keep going and it's fascinating, although probably not for you if you don't like bad power imbalances. it's the end of the world as we know it and whatever comes on the other end is going to be only as good as you make of it. i think this series may also be sort of (in)famous in the fandom? idk i don't pay attention that well
Untitled
IDW, drabble, tumblr. in an unexpected meetcute, Minimus finds himself rescuing Rung. honestly it's just a quick little concept of a conversation but it has captivated me and i'm obsessed with it
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mahi-wayy · 3 months ago
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𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐓? | ᴅᴀɴɪᴇʟ sʜᴇᴋʜᴀʀ
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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ : Daniel Shekhar x Fem!Oc
ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ : Bheemla Nayak
ʟᴇɴɢᴛʜ : 2.08k
ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴs : Danny and his lack of patience, him being annoyed, women being MOTHERS, humiliation, ego war, strangling, tiny bit of violence, cursing, a almost (?) cat fight.
sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ : 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 men start a quarrle, women announce a war.
ᴀ/ɴ : the writer in me isn't dead just yet :) also this is not proofread.
_________________
Daniel Shekhar was pissed off. It was god knows what hour of the night and here he was sitting on a bench of a police station of a village because he retaliated against his own disrespect.
The mere auras of the people around him was infuriatingly familiar, just the way they looked at him made him hundred percent sure he was being analysed.
How strong is he? Can he overpower most of them? Can he beat their SI in an out and out tussle? What gave him this attitude? Who does he think he is? He is no better than a small bandit or outlaw.
Yeah they weren't as subtle with the looks and thoughts as they thought. He grew up with a father whose only job was to either provoke him to do something or berate him or take out his anger on him, he knew better than anyone to read people.
That doesn't mean however that he is okay with this whole bullshit. He was swinging the whole bench back and forth, it wasn't that heavy anyways, he was sure even she could bench press it.
He stops when his phone rings and of course he is denied to have it, why did he even try, choosing to simply scoff and turn his head away as the police lose their mind over his contact list.
He is a little surprised she hasn't called him yet, they talked in the afternoon and she isn't the kind to not call and give him an earful for not calling or texting or ask Balaji to let her know about them especially when he is supposed to be travelling.
As if God heard him, his phone rang again.
“Ragini Nair?”
Think of the pretty devil, he relishes in the way the mere mention of her name seems to weigh down the whole room. God he loved her.
“Don't worry about that, that's my wife.”
He wants to laugh with the way the man in front of him reacts, eyes widening ever so slowly in realisation. He wonders if few of them would faint if his father was mentioned, maybe? he wasn't all that sure.
He decides to indulge in thinking of her as the people around him slowly realise just who they have disrespected.
Ragini Nair, currently his wife of two years and the second in line to take over his father's place in his party, no matter how much the old man didn't like it.
The reason for the sudden silence was probably because she was one of the most influential people in all of Telangana.
He remembers meeting her for the first time and almost chuckles out loud, he was home during a break from his duty when his father introduced him to her as his future secretary when he takes over the politics, yeah that was not happening anyways.
She was fascinating, the daughter of a former IG of the state and an ex-officer herself , she was just unlucky enough to suffer a shoulder injury which made her quit just after three years of service.
Falling for her wasn't that hard, he didn't even realise when he started loving her. She wrote to him or called him from time to time when he was on duty leading them to grow close. His father too wasn't against them, she brought a political strength and quite some influential connections with her.
They got married a year before he decided to stay home full time. The house needed a man, as his father said and he needed his love.
She was an interesting human to everyone, quiet most of the time but wasn't afraid to speak out when needed, had more smarts than the people present in a room at a given moment and an insanely good political mind.
The drawback in her according to many people and his father was the anger, her temper rivalled his own if not worse than his. She was impulsive and unpredictable for that time period going as far as having a violent streak in her just like he did.
In all she was not invented here, even by him because the riot she would cause, as entertaining as it would be, would be a bigger mess to clean up and he was in no mood for a lecture or taunts from his father.
His thoughts break when the SI walks out of station, calling someone and from what he hears most probably a senior. He really wants to snicker as he hears him talk about the contacts in his phone.
“Give him and his driver their phone back.”
He raises a brow taking his phone before speaking to the same constable the SI-Bheemla Nayak-spoke too.
“Don't give him his back, he will just call people and cause unnecessary drama for you all.”
“Sir, come and sit inside the cabin please.”
“Huh?”
He heard Nayak just fine. He was just petty.
“Please.” The police officer greeted and he agreed, standing up to his full height, towering over most of the people in the room as he followed the man in charge into his cabin.
The conversation that followed pissed him off more, what the fuck does he mean he would be in jail for ten days. He has to be home by tomorrow evening for his anniversary at any cost.
They quarrel again of course, with the kind of personalities they had it wasn't surprising neither was the gun he pulled out.
“Ok. Sit down, let's talk this out. Please.”
When he says that it wasn't out of fear of the weapon he means it, he has seen her use her toys like this before and he was in the army. They were pretty much normal stuff but what rattled him was the guts Nayak had.
He might have to take another route for this one.
For minutes he just thinks as the officer passes him his phone to call the lawyer. He has messages from her, expected enough.
It takes him a few minutes but he does get an idea, thanks to his alcoholic streak and the slow thumping headache he is able to act convincingly in pain for Nayak to open a bottle of sealed alcohol which of course he shoots on his phone.
He was sipping the drink, relishing in himself before a commotion was heard from outside. Like women arguing and he curses, why does no one listen to him here.
Bheemla and him both step out of the cabin together and he recognizes her at first glance. She was standing with her back to him, hair in a messy bun, dressed in a saree. Her bangle clad hand twisting the hand of a constable behind his back, the same man who stepped on his veshit.
Oh well, fuck around and find out he guess.
“You can't touch a hair on me according to the law so keep this hand to yourself.” She growls before pushing the constable away and turning to them.
A natural smile falls on his lips, his muscles loosening as she looks at him.
“You should've called me the moment you got your phone back.” She said.
“Well I know Balaji is a snitch.”
He replied, making her roll her eyes before she turned her glare to the man standing a foot in front of him, walking forward until she was face-to-face with the SI incharge.
“Arresting someone doesn't give you the right to rip apart their respect. If you can't keep your constables in check then take this uniform and burn it.” She says and he can sense the people tensing around him.
The SI glares past her to the constable before he nods his head.
“Right, my fault in that but your husband started hitting officers and he was carrying liquor. It's not a bailable crime. He was to take the sentence.”
“Whoever asked you about the bail and if I snatch a pillow from under your head and throw you on the ground then we will see who you hit and who you respect.”
There was a silence as either of the parties refused to back out, in the end Nayak backed away, turning on his heels and going back into the cabin. Danny moves to the side to give him space, a mock gesture before he looks up and his eyes meet with his wife who clearly knew that he has something up his sleeve.
A ten day fast was a little more than what he signed up for but oh well he was petty little shit and he would rather die than give up.
The first person he noticed after stepping out was the woman sitting in the passenger seat of the car, dressed if she was coming directly from a meeting with some news channel or something and he widened in realisation as a devilish grin spread on his lips.
“So how's the breaking news headlines?” He asks as he gets in the car.
“Like someone gave out a video of Nayak's doom.” She said with a matching smirk as they drove off. God he loved her so much.
“Even I'm sad you're getting suspended lady but kings at war often cause collateral damage.” He spoke and genuinely that was exactly what that lady constable was, a collateral damage. He had no personal grudge with her, in fact she was probably the only one he was neutral about in that police station.
The shirt-pant clad female sitting on the bonnet, which he was standing on by the way, of his car with legs crossed didn't seem to think anything about the constable. Well until the said officer spat in his direction.
Bad move.
“Ayeee!”
He has to act fast and grab Ragini, pulling her making her claw-like hand stop just a inch away from the female constable's neck.
“Hey!! What are you looking to get going before she kills her!” He says to the constable who tugs away the lady officer.
“Why on the ground? Spit on his face.”
This time she slipped away and he turned his face away for a second as she kicked the man in the guts before grabbing him by his neck and choking him.
“What did you just say?” She growls and before he can think of anything another feminine voice speaks up.
“He said your husband deserves to be spat at.”
His jaw sets in place as he and she both turn to the source of sound to find Nayak's wife-Sugna was standing there with her hands crossed over her chest.
Danny rolls his eyes leaning back against the roof of the car as Ragini lets the man go and steps towards the woman in the saree.
“And you would be?”
“Sugna.”
Wow this is about to get so messy.
The ladies engage in a glare contest as he watches that was until Nayak stepped out and that made him straighten up. Jumping down from the bonnet to go stand beside his wife just like the officer did.
Look, they were so immersed in this that neither of them noticed a rock thrown his way which was thankfully caught by the police officer.
While he was still processing the man saving him, Ragini acted much faster, snatching the rock from the SI herself and hurling it back at the boy who threw it his way.
It almost hits the young man if not for the people around him pulling him away.
“Hey!!”
Ragini stumbles a bit as Sugna turns her around with a jerk to slap her only for his woman to grab her hand and twist it down. The ex officer goes to hit the officer's wife but the woman grabs her hand.
“Let her go.” He raises his brow as Nayak keeps a hand on his wife's shoulder.
“Let go darling, you'll end up hurting her.”
He says pressing a hand to his love's lower back, the women both stubborn than their male counterparts stay locked for a solid minute more before they let each other go.
She grabs his hand, Sugna hands Nayak the keys, both the women still locked in a heated stare before they tug their men and turn in opposite directions.
“Danny…”
“Nayak…”
“It's an all out war.”
“The battle is done, it's time for war.”
The heated gazes of the ladies find each other again as Ragini opens the passenger door and Sugna climbs on the back behind her husband.
“Don't you dare loose.”
______
tags : @mayakimayahai @warnermeadowsgirl @vijayasena @voidsteffy @jkdaddy01 @rambheem-is-real @allari-ammayi @mellaga-karagani @ulaganayagi @ahamasmiyodhah @toomanyfanficsbruh
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