#these two gay babys make me so happy

[sob-dylan]

oh no you guys the girl who has maybe or maybe not been living in the unit above me for weeks is really hot this is such a bad situation to be in 😖

[aroanthy]

being gay and aromantic is wild because people will accuse you of hating gay people because you (checks notes) wish people would be a little more critical of romance as a patriarchal structure. the thing is that rgu literally does this, it examines and interrogates how romance is a patriarchal structure. every time i talk about aromanticism in rgu people get very upset about that, as though aromanticism impedes queerness— i did not realise we were still doing exclusionism so bare faced. every time i talk about aromanticism, people get upset. im not even talking about it in relation to the show, instead making a general throwaway post about the weight that people afford anything that deals in Romance, and i get told that rgu is a romance and i should cry about it. like. what? rgu made me realise i was aromantic. i was already gay and that gave me the final piece of the puzzle.

to be gay and aromantic does not mean you Just Have Friends (? what does this even mean, let’s unpack this statement at a later date): to be gay and aromantic means myriad things for myriad people. it means queer sex, it means queer connections that aren’t defined as ‘romantic’, it means queer attraction, it means queer understanding. nothing about this devalues romantic queerness, though i must say that every time i post about aromanticism someone has to qualify my words with a statement about how romance is cool too. and sure, it is, but you can maybe understand how that’s exhausting when you actually want a meaningful conversation about your identity. anyway aromantic people i love you aromantic people and gay people i love you gay people (i am both. godbless goodnight)

[cuteniaarts]

@katkastrofa, circa 40-ish hours ago: Hey, what if our newest bunch of OCs adopted a baby from one of the other brothel girls who knew she couldn’t afford to raise one? That would make for some fun shenanigans :D

Me, with a notoriously non existent sleep schedule, instinct of self preservation or concern for my poor wrist: Alright, bet. Watch how fast I can make you fall in love with this hypothetical baby >:)

Daneli as a gentle and loving caretaker-turned-adoptive-mother is something that can be So Personal, actually, and originally I was going to leave it at this quick sketch, but then I got carried away thinking about what this child will grow up to be like raised by this little gang of misfits, so…

Here she is!! A little older and so, so beautiful, I need more of her in my life immediately, she’s way too precious

And, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also add a sapphic element to this absolute cinnamon roll, a small crack ship that I’m only half serious about for when she’s a little older still:

All in all, we may be getting impossibly far from canon, but I for one already cannot get enough of sweet darling Kumisai <3

(I fully drew three pieces from scratch in 9 hours I cannot feel my brain or my hands anymore send help)

[boxwinebaddie]

hi nina! do you have any other songs that you think cd would cover? i just really liked new perspective and i think ur music taste is rlly cool :3

d'awww!!! hi there, sweet pea! <3

tysm for your ask but, before you start reading ( because this message got VERY long ), i just want to let everyone know that i used this ask to explain some Very Complex Ravenstan/Callgirl Fake Dating Lore...so if you are interested in that, it starts towards the middle of this ask...it's a lil chaotic, but i tried to make it as interesting and clear as i could! no obligation to read, ofc, as always, but i did want to preface this ask with that info, so you know this one is

*Secretly An Important RM Lore Ask.*

but back to what i was doing ( screaming ):

— because aAAAAAAAAAA!!!! c': <333

i am not even joking, you guys, despite the fact that my fic is based almost entirely around Music, i avoided answering music-related asks for so LONG bc i was legitimately so nervous about it being negatively perceived or read for filth on here, which, i Know, is silly because it's my fanfic and what i say goes, i can't change my music taste anymore than i can change the way my dna loops, but...idk.

like, i feel like A Lot of people are self conscious abt their music taste, but my social anxiety/inferiority complex can get so gnarly that i actually get Nervous when people ask me about what kind of music i like and i never EVER sit shot gun in cars bc i am...scared to aux. :/

iiiiiit's...That Bad. ( nina, please get therapy. )

i also feel like people in this fandom can get Very Intense about what kind of music they associate with the boys/what music the boys listen to and are FRIGHTENINGLY QUICK to rip people to shreds over opinions that don't align with theirs or aren't obscure or 'cool' enough.

bc of that, i try to be Very Lowkey on this blog because the larger part of this fandom and the criminally insane level at which they escalate petty fights over canon/fanon, like to the point that they are frothing at the mouth and start doxing people...gives me Extreme Stress. which, in my line of work, i actually CANNOT have happen.

tldr; i want absolutely NO part of it and like my lil corner.

thank you for keeping it Safe. <3

AND THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING MY MUSIC TASTE!!! EEEE c: <3 THAT IS SO REASURRING AND HEALING FOR ME TO HEAR!!!! MUSIC TO MY EARS, BABY! LITERALLY! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THAAAANK YOU! *holds you* *squishes you* *kisses ur head*

istg, if nothing else the fact that i have a bunch of you rocking out to New Perspective and positively associating it with my fanfic means that i have done my job and that's a legacy i'm willing to die with.

i'm being so serious, i feel like if rm was a tv show, it would play as the outro to every episode...but like a nice, soft, raw version w/ ravenstan on acoustic guitar to contrast the hard ass cd cover of style by tswizz that i think would open every episode...smh, nina, please, pleease stop imagining your unfinished, crack-fanfic as a netflix og series. >.>

BUT!!! okay!!!! in vein of trying not to worry about the perception of my music taste or what other people want from me...tHIS IS A KIND OF CONTREVERSIAL TAKE BUT I TIED IT TO THE PLOT, OKAY?

so, as a little nina lore and for context, when i was in elementary school around like 4th/5th grade, i was listening to like a lot of early y2k bangers, ig. dirty little secret by all american rejects, hey there delilah by the plain white tees, girlfriend by avril lavigne core, etc.

( just to make you giggle, i also had a ps2 and there was a series of video games called singstar that were some off shoot of rockband/gh that had mics you plugged directly into the system...pls note my high score on sk8r boi really should be put in the guinness world records, like if you held a gun to my head and told me to sing that song, i not only would i fuck it up but i would LIVE, baby! better luck next time! )

...it was also around early disney channel times ( the disney channel games with the team colors...that was my OLYMPICS, bitch! ) and i had this Disney Pop Hits Vol...1? i think? cd i used to play on the prehistoric radio thing in my room and my favorite song on it was...

pop princess by the click five.

AND I KNOW!!! I KNOOOOOW!!!! controversial take, but i am sorry, THAT SONG FUCKS!!!! THAT SONG IS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!

and i feel like when ravenstan was fake dating call girl during the great hate south park embark, cd covered it: i am picturing a less finger-bang, btr, disney channel esqe sound and more of a pop-punk, pedal to the metal, electric guitar type, edgy rockstar boy typa beat.

but Yes, i think ravenstan covered it or idk i really think that it was made FOR call girl. and it was BAD ASF. i also think bc tcf wrote that song about hannah montana ( iconic ), and bc call girl is basically the whole internet's e-girl bubblegum pop princess in my fanfic, it just...

makes...Sense.

am i making sense? do we see the vision? aka rs in his lil pants w/ the ripped red and black flannel tied around his waist, fallin to his knees, singing his heart out, pointing at her, winking? PPL DIIIIIIIIIED.

and by people, i do mean jerseykyle n bebe who were MAD AS HELL,

-- but also tapping their toe...smh.

it was both very cool and very annoying. RIP.

( ...do i have jersey and bebe make out during the pop princess call girl tribute as mlm/wlw solidarity? HEEEELP ICOOONIC *jk vibrating with stress and anger vc* barbara, i need you to do somethin for me don't ask questions, i'll explain later, It's Important sdks MESSY! )

BUT OKAY!!!! SPEAAAAKING OF THEM AND THAT AND CALLGIRL AND RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN DATING!!!! i wanted to give you some lore and some spoilery plot about that/them bc it is burning a Hole in my brain...i must discuss r.s. and call girl becaaaause

~Its....Complicated.~

ANYWAYS!!!! IMPORTANT PLOT TIME!!!!

so, for more context: i am currently working on another ask abt how ike found out that jerseykyle/ravenstan used to be dating and during that conversation in kyle's room about three days into the sp trip, CONCURRENTLY somewhere Else, ravenstan and call girl are getting ready to do some flashy PR thing like go on a date/get din, idk.

BUT RIGHT BEFORE IT: ravenstan and call girl are alone together, and ravenstan, who, i am not even kidding you, is sooo fucking Pissed that this is EVEN HAPPENING because kyle is super mad at him, was like you are Actually Dead to me, WILL NOT TALK TO HIM...

( which without spoiling too much -- is actually why ike can tell that somethin Fucked Up is happening because j.k. is super aggressive and loud and is not afraid to Fuck Your Shit Up...but has not laid a FINGER on raven of crimson dawn...and actually, seems to not even want to be Near him, barely acknowledges his existence, leaves rooms that he is in and is Radio Silent around him...WHICH IS TWICE AS SCARY AS J.K. YELLING AND TRYING TO KILL YOU. so, uhh, Not fucking...Good, you guys. ike was like...this is...not fucking normal. )

but again, he cannot tell kyle what is going on bc he might actuuuuallly get MURDERED??? uh???

anyways, in whatever secure, secluded space rae/cg are in ( its somewhere private, i pictured a dressing room of sorts, like a makeup trailer, somewhere they have to take pics ) stan is Extremely Straight Up with her and says something to the effect of:

"i have no idea what you think this is or what you want this to be or what they told you, but we are not dating and this...is NOT. Real."

and call girl ( aka wendy whose identity is a secret to EVERYONE, No One has seen the bottom half of call girl's face...Ever. she changes her wigs everyday, they are Very Elaborate and is always in a very high tech face mask that covers her face from the nose down and uses a voice modulator to mask her speaking voice...a mysterious queen ) oddly enough seems completely relieved by this statement and is like

*squints*

"don't worry, Emo Boy. feeling is mutual. like, no offense, but you are seriously...not my type. Ew. trust me, i don’t want to do this either but,

— I Have To."

wHICHSHDLSKDHLSD SHE GUTTED HIM HELP. he was *gigantic stan slow eye blinks in shock* like "right, okay, Ow. that was...Mean." kshdlksdls but then was "--but i am glad we...agree. i Also HAVE To. not because of publicity, it's...Deeper than that...i can't really ta--"

to which call girl, locking eyes with him, dead seriously, lowering her modulated voice is like...

"it's tenorman, right?

He Threatened You."

and r.s, gagged! Again!!! is like

"holy shit, he THREATENED /YOU/ TOO?!?!"

and call girl nods very slowly and starts to say

"he told me if i didn't do it he would..."

and rs with the same kind of mounting horror whispers

" — Kill Everyone You Love And Care About?"

which, at this point, folks, they are both like...

...WOAH.

bc they realize they are both stuck in the same torture chamber together, they Both got cornered into this really elaborate ruse and have to keep it up in order to keep the people that they love Safe and it's...A Lot. it...really is. but it's also sort of freeing and cathartic to knowing you are not alone going through what is pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your entire life.

i also feel like...there is this natural bond. this Energy between them. like they understand/see each other and feel...safe with one another.

and call girl, guard still up, dips a toe in uncharted water, and goes:

"well...since were partners in crime now and have to live a lie in public...i think we at least owe it to each other in private...

...to be Real."

she offers this bc they have reached an understanding, an impasse, a standstill, a draw of sorts. and there is a thick tension...as well as this crescendoing vulnerability that hangs the air with her ultimatum as they stare warily at each other, strangers, both wearing still wearing their masks, call girl physically in hers and stan in his metaphorical one doing the dark, raspy smoke and mirrors raven voice bc he is...not sure about her in the same way that she is...

...still not sure abt him.

( they are basically that one spiderman meme where both the spidermans are holding each other at gun point. ) and it's a huge Risk to indulge her request, but again...they both have everything to lose.

and no one...but Eachother.

so he indulges her very tentatively and counters:

"alright...then, tell me something Real, call girl."

to which she nods, closes her eyes and goes. "fine. my real name..."

call girl trails off, reaches up to tap the voice modulator on her mask, turns it off, reaches out her rhine-stoned, sequined, hot pink faux leather gloved hand out to shake his and in her real voice, says,

" — Is Wendy."

and this...is a Very BIG Deal.

again, no one has ever heard call girl's voice before. no one knows what her name is or Anything about her. she doesn't even preform live, she does virtual concerts and is basically this sort of mysterious, ai, vocaloid/miku internet personality that is very Carefully and elaborately Coded and ENCRYPTED to keep her identity Safe.

so her turning off her voice mod and speaking to stan, not as a fictional, larger than life computer-generated celebrity, but as a human being...is massive.

it's also very...Comforting to ravenstan.

who has not been himself...for a very long time. and it's not smart, it's not a good idea, but he decides to trust her and in turn,

in his real voice, says,

"stan. my name...is Stan.

It's Nice To Meet You, Wendy."

he shakes her hand and she shakes his.

she says, "it's nice to meet you too, stan." :)

and it feels...Nice. it should feel wrong, what they're doing, but it feels right, it feels fucking amazing to stop Preforming. she knows his name, she's seen his face...but realizes he still has not seen Hers and running on adrenaline, bolstered by a rare surge of bravery, chinks at her armor, or mask rather, and makes a motion.

literally.

bc he reaches up towards her face and goes, "oof. it's nice to hear your human voice; the dystopian robot voice was lowkey espantoso."

he laughs, it's genuine and super ugly, god bless him. so you Know he's being really real when he asks "but...if it's all the same to you. if were going to speak freely; i'd like to...see Who i am speaking to.

so can i, please, uh...see your Face? your whole face.

your...Real face."

and oof. this...is a little nerve-wracking for wendalends.

she's neeeever taken the mask off. ever. Ever. EVER.

For A-n-y-o-n-e.

but...she might never have the chance again and it is...really stuffy under there. so she Agrees and lets stan remove her face apparatus.

ravenstan does say "Wowza." HDLKSHDSl amazing.

he's also my boyfail king and says something very fucking stupid like

"sorry, you're REALLY Pretty. i was worried might look like deadpool under there." she smiles, it's beautiful. no one has seen her real smile before as call girl and thanks him. she goes on to apologize and is like

"thank you, stan. you're really sweet and i...am sorry i said 'ew'. it's not because you're ugly, you're kind of...Cute for a guy, actually? you have really nice bone structure and very kind eyes. it's just, when i said you weren't my type i meant Boys. in...general."

her voice shakes a little, she's never admitted this out loud before, not even to her girlfriend. but she trusts stan with the nice bone structure and dumb ugly laugh and very kind eyes, so she says

"i'm a...Lesbian.

i'm also Seeing Someone at the moment.

It's Complicated."

and stan is like, skhdlsd way too excited to talk about kyle, and is like

"okay, whew! i'm ALSO seeing someone! or well..." then remembers and is like oooof "well...i Was...seeing someone i guess. it's..."

my man is Depressed and is trying to change the subject because he realizes he actually can't talk about kyle because not only is cartman going to kill him if he does...he is also gonna freakin K!ll Himself because he's actually so sad that kyle currently hates his GUTS.

so he sighs, echoing her and admits "It's...Complicated." :/

he wants to hear something nice though, something real...and nice. because he is a romantico king. who believes more than anything...

in Love.

so he asks her what her girlfriend's name is. <3 :')

annnd i think she is About to say bebe's name...but realizes if she does, it will completely blow her cover.

like her ACTUAL Cover.

because stan knowing her first name and her what she looks like under the mask is one thing...but the second she says bebe's name, it's going to reveal that she is kyle's bebe's wen/wendyl which...is

Meeeeessy.

but she reasons ( as an intelligent, rational queen ) that regardless of how messy things get, her and stan are in this mess together and that the best time to make a mess...is when you are Coming Clean.

still...this is...very sensitive information. she’s not sure how he's gonna take it and needs some sort of collateral.

so she states her terms.

and call girl, who stan now knows is wendy, but not bebe's current girlfriend ( yet ) says "okay. i am going to tell you something, but in order to do it. i have to tell you...Everything. in exchange, i need YOU to tell me Everything. i am going to give you One Chance to do so willingly. if not...i do not care how untraceable you Think you are, i am very familiar with the dark web and i will find out everything i Need to know about you. and do with that information...What. I. Please.

...so /please./ promise me you won't tell anyone about what i am about to tell you...and then, tell me...stan...Something Real."

stan agrees and wendy goes into everything. comes out as trans to him and explains her origin story. ( i started to write everything in this ask but it got too long, i'll tell you all about call girl/wendy in another ask i have a couple in the box i can use, haha. ) she tells him pretty much everything ( it's a big therapy session in there ) up until this point, gaydhd ravenstan...manages to understand

Everything.

and when she finishes, true to the deal, she gently volleys the ball into his court, ( they are friends now, aw <3 ) and softly goes:

"okay...Your Turn."

and so ravenstan...who is Deeply Inspired by wendy...Wowza. he seriously thinks she is so fucking cool and ALSO A TRANS ICON??? HELLO? he feels v seen and heard and safe, so uh...jesus christ, he grabs wendy's hands, takes a veeeeeery deep breath and goes,

"so, i...

— Am DEAD."

LKHDSHSDLKDS HEEELP KSHLKDS

annnnnnd proceeds to tell her everything.

and i do mean...Everything.

they talk for the rest of the night basically, having this heart to heart, at the same time that, unbeknownst to ravenstan, jerseykyle and ike are also having a heart to heart....wendy and stan are platonic besties, they agree to keep each other's secrets as t4t legends stuck in cartman's fucked up marionette hell together, they agree to keep their crazy charade up while they try and find a way out/back to bebe and kyle, take some v convincing publicity pictures together ( i do think jk and bebe see them and want to die So Bad, it's not funny...bebe/jk or wendy/rs...choose your doomed broship. Fml. )

and that's...

Your Crazy Uncle Nina RM Lore Drop For The Night!

i hope you enjoyed it, haha. <3 please feel free to drop me a line in the ole ask box about it and ofc, as always, to ask me anything you would like! if you're still with me...after all this time. thank you so much for supporting me and enjoying my content.

it means...Everything to me.

and in writing something fake...

thank you all:

for being my Something Real. <3 c':

-uncle nina, callgirl/raven superfan

[rafeandonlyrafe]

gone wrong

words: 500

warnings: established relationship, pranks, brief yelling, death threat but in an unserious way

you skip happily towards the truck waiting at the end of your driveway. 

you hurry to open the door, letting out a small squeal when you see rafe sat in the drivers seat.

“missed you baby.” you say, climbing in and immediately leaning across to give him a kiss, which he's more than happy to accept.

you sit down in your spot, the passenger side that you've claimed for yourself. you reach the door handle and pull it shut when rafes head snaps towards you. 

“don't slam my door!” he yells. your eyes widen as you take in his harsh tone of voice.

you melt into your seat, physically shrinking as tears cloud your vision. you let out a small mumbled apology.

“shit, baby.” rafe grabs his phone from where it was set up, thrusting it into your hands. “it was just a prank, baby.”

“oh.” you giggle softly, but rafe can tell you're still upset as he tosses his phone down, not caring about the dumb tiktok as he wraps his arms around you, ignoring the center console poking into him.

“i would never yell at you like that baby, you're my whole world.” he presses kisses to your cheek until a genuine smile stretches across your face. 

“that was not a funny prank, rafey.” you wipe underneath your eyes, making sure no tears will escape and ruin your makeup.

“how about i take you shopping after we eat, yeah? would that make up for it?” he asks, gently rubbing his hand up and down your arm, still feeling guilty.

“do you think we could also get ice cream?” you ask, batting your eyelashes at him.

“anything for you.” rafe says, giving you another kiss. “and i really am sorry.”

“don't worry.” you shake your head. “ill get you back.”

-- two weeks later -- 

“thanks for driving me, rafey.” you say, looking down at your hands sheepishly. “and paying.”

“of course.” rafe chuckles. “you're my girl, i got you.”

“my legs are so soft now.” you say, knowing you have the chance now to back out of the prank, but no, you need to get him back. “and he did a great job, i swear i have no hair from the neck down.”

“he?” rafes eyebrow raises. “you didn't go to your normal girl?”

“nope.” you shake your head and shrug, like its casual. “she had another client so i went to a new guy.”

“you let a guy wax your fucking pussy?” rafes tone is slow and even, but you can tell there's a fire just beneath the surface.

“i mean, that's like his job.” you roll your eyes dramatically.

“was this guy gay?”

“no.” you look to rafe, trying to hold back your laughter. “in fact, his girlfriend just broke up with him. we talked about it a bit while he was doing my thighs.”

rafe unbuckles without another word, glad he hasn't started driving away yet.

“rafe, wait!” you reach across to grab his arm as he reaches for the door handle.

“no, im gonna kill-”

“it's a prank!” you grab your phone, showing him that you're recording. “and i got you good!”

“jesus, baby.” rafe places a hand over his chest. “you're trying to kill me.”

“sweet, sweet revenge.” you laugh maniacally.

sfw tags:

@winterrrnight @cameronswiftie @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen @drewsephrry @wearemadeofstardust0

[palskippah]

Hi!

I love the Gay Dads AU so much pipipi

There's some thoughts and more drawings under the cut (and there's some mpreg wa)

-I'm not sure how the au works, but it gives me the impression that Ballister was Nimona's dad and then there came Ambrosius as a stepdad, or either they both adopted her and Nimona just took better to Ballister. But I'd go with the first option (unless there's a 'canon' option, in which case please if someone knows pipipi tell me)

-I love them so much you have no idea :'''v this is the sorta AU I create 😭 I'm having a lot of fun pipipi

-Also it makes me kinda sad that some of the drawings where Ambrosius is with Nimona he's got a >:c face on, like he doesn't know what he's doing which is very on brand for new parents but pipipi I want them to get along

-Nimona didn't talk much when she was little but one day she started talking full sentences with a big vocabulary, and then never shut up again.

>Not sure if she never talks in the drawings ND Stevenson did of this AU because she's very young or she just doesn't want to.

-Nimona loves Ballister the most and feels the most comfort in his hug, but she has more fun with Ambrosius

[Here's the mpreg YIPII]

-If they had Cyrus (the fankid I made for comic Goldenheart) it'd still be very much an accident and Nimona would be small (under four), and not very happy about it.

-She's definitely jealous and becomes very clingy to Ballister, which he finds adorable when he's not exhausted.

(The idea here was Ambrosius asking whether she'd like a brother or a sister, since she's having a sibling, but I think I phrased it wrong sjdks)

>Ballister and Ambrosius do their best for her to not feel left out, but when Cyrus' born she's not as jealous as they thought, and it seems that she actually likes him (but she doesn't let him touch any of her sea animal toys)

-Also Nimona wasn't told that her little brother was being born that day until later when Meredith was looking after her.

>She was being her toddler self and accidentally giving Ballister a more stressful time

-There's a video of a little kid with his newborn sister (I assume) in his arms and he says 'she doesn't have any arms 😦', so imagine that Nimona thought the same thing and given that Cyrus' hair is black too, she thought that her baby brother looked just like her dad 😭

-Also here's the two babies bc I love them, thinking that they'd be the sort of siblings with a small age gap that fight a lot but also love each other a lot

>Cyrus gets the smallest slice of cake, the glass with less soda, the ugliest fork in the house, and also Nimona's full support if he ever needs it.

>Also

Nimona: My pronouns are she/they Cyrus: And my pronouns are he/they The nonbinary siblings (imagine the wall of fire text)

>Also imagining them both adult or at least teenagers, where Cyrus' much taller than Nimona and her just stomping her foot in his direction and him squealing away (bc his sister is scary even if she's three apples tall)

That's it! :D

[30somethingautisticteacher]

The drunk woman was relentless, invading Tommy's personal space as he tried to step back. He kept flashing his ring, but either she hadn't noticed or simply didn't care. Tommy glanced at his watch, grateful Evan hadn't arrived yet to see this mess.

"I'm just a poor girl all alone and new to the city," she slurred, pressing closer. "Can you help me get home safely? You can drive me, and then you can come up and I can thank you properly." She traced a finger down his arm. "I'm sure your wife wouldn't mind."

'Okay, she just doesn't care,' Tommy thought, taking a step back.

"I'm sure the bartender would be happy to call a cab for you," he said firmly.

"But you're so big and strong. I would feel so protected," she pouted, swaying slightly.

"I'm flattered, but I'm sure you'll be plenty safe," Tommy said, maintaining his distance. "And my husband won't like you all over me."

"Husband?" the woman spat, her flirtatious demeanor instantly shifting. "Seriously, you're gay?" Her slurred voice dripped with disdain.

It was at that exact moment that Evan appeared.

"Oh, he's very, very gay," Evan said, draping his arms over Tommy's shoulders and pulling him in for a steamy kiss.

"Hi, baby," Tommy said when they broke apart, his earlier tension melting away at his husband's presence.

"You can go now," Evan said dismissively to the woman.

"You're the husband?" she scoffed, looking Evan up and down with obvious judgment. "What a waste."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Evan asked, his voice sharpening. Tommy could feel him tensing up beside him.

"Not worth it, sweetheart," Tommy said softly, squeezing Evan's hand. He knew that tone in his husband's voice - the one that meant someone had struck a nerve.

"No, I want to know," Evan insisted, his jaw set. The playful possessiveness from moments ago had been replaced by something harder, more defensive. "What exactly is being wasted here?"

"Your lifestyle," she sneered, waving her hand dismissively. "Two big, strong, handsome men shacking up together."

"Shacking up?" Evan said, his voice dangerously quiet. The woman had crossed a line, and Tommy knew his husband well enough to recognize when he was about to snap.

"We're not shacking up," Evan continued, holding up his left hand where his wedding ring caught the bar lights. "We're married. Legally married. I walked down an aisle, said vows, signed papers, and promised to love this man for the rest of my life. And you know what? It was the best decision I ever made."

Tommy's heart swelled, watching his husband defend their marriage.

"So no, it's not a waste. What would be a waste is if I pretended to be something I'm not just to make people like you comfortable. Now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to have a drink with my husband."

"You people," the girl said, shaking her head in disgust.

Tommy felt Evan stiffen next to him, ready for another round, but this time Tommy stepped forward. He'd let Evan handle it his way, now it was his turn.

"Ah, 'you people,'" Tommy said, his voice calm but firm. "Let me tell you about 'us people.' My husband and I are first responders. We put our lives on the line every single day for others - including people who think like you do. I spent years hiding who I was because of that kind of hatred, afraid to be myself. But then I finally accepted who I really was, and that opened my heart to the possibility of love. And I found it - real, earth-shattering, life-changing love."

He pulled Evan closer, feeling his husband relax against him. "So the only waste here would be letting people like you make us ashamed of something so beautiful."

Tommy turned away from the woman, effectively dismissing her. "Come on, baby."

The woman slunk away into the crowd, her previous bravado gone.

"You ok, babe?" Evan asked, turning to Tommy with concern.

"Are you kidding?" Tommy said, pulling him closer by his belt loops. "That was extremely sexy watching you tell her off like that. Look how far my little baby bi has come."

"Couldn't have done it without you," Evan said softly.

"You know, I'm actually more hungry than thirsty," Tommy said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, is that so?" Evan replied, a knowing smirk spreading across his face."Well, we should probably do something about that."

"Yeah, we probably better," Tommy said, pulling Evan in for a heated kiss.

When they broke apart, Evan was speechless. He shook his head. "But not here."

"Right, right, let's get out of here."

They stumbled out of the bar together, Tommy tugging Evan along by their joined hands. Their laughter mixed with the night air, any trace of anger long forgotten replaced by the joy of just being together.

[its-ares]

— Living the good times

liked by 339.787

lando.jpg Life lately 😁🧡

view all 1.115 comments

mclaren 🧡🧡🧡 

oscarpiastri Looking good mates 🫶🏻

lando.jpg Thanks mate 🫶🏻

ln4king OMG LANDO, the last two pics 😱

lan4norris Lando is taken??

kingnorris apparently…

flonorris1 Love you both ❤️❤️

lando.jpg We love you too sis ❤️❤️

landonorris4 Is Lando gay? I thought he had a girlfriend 🫣

ln4_infos He is allowed to have friends 🙄 And you know, bisexual is a thing

danielricciardo Wow he must be special when he‘s on the jpg account

lando.jpg He is

thisuserloveslando You look really happy, that makes me very happy 🥰🫶🏻 Maybe your boyfriend will come to a race soon and we can get to know him a little better 🧡

lando.jpg Thank you 🫶🏻🧡 Soon

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"Your fans are going crazy," laughed M/N and showed Lando his phone. The Brit chuckled and kissed his boyfriend on the nose. "Are you happy?" asked M/N and Lando took the phone from his hand and looked him deep in the eyes. "I'm incredibly happy, the fans have noticed that too. And I wanted to show the world what's making me so happy lately."

"Aww baby, I'm incredibly happy too. And I'm really looking forward to your next race," said M/N and threw his arms around Lando's neck. "I already have an idea what I'm going to wear, you'll be amazed," Lando's boyfriend purred, making the Formula 1 star laugh.

“We’re both going to put on an awesome performance“.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

liked by 1.136

mn.jpg My baby won 🧡🔥

view all 1.010 comments

mclaren 🧡🧡🧡

landonorris Love you baby 🧡 Thank you for being here

mn.jpg of course 🧡 I love you too 😍

landonorrisking So great that you supported Lando and thank you sooo much for the picture ❤️❤️

mn.jpg ❤️

oscarpiastri I'm very happy that Lando introduced us. 😁

mn.jpg I'm happy too 😁 Psst don't tell anyone but after Lando you are my favorite driver 👀

landonorris I saw that

mn.jpg No you didn‘t

ln4daily You‘re sooo cute 😍😍 Do you come to the races more often now?

mn.jpg I try my best 💪🏻

[bubblegyu00]

riize as boyfriends !

riize x femidol!reader

a/n: currently in my rum pum pum pah talk saxy era 😋

———————・✦

• shotaro

boyfriend shotaro and idol shotaro are basically two different people. the members have mentioned that shotaro is a bit stern and serious during practice. but all of the frustration leaves his body once he sees his girlfriend stopping by after practice. goes from leader osaki shotaro to clingy baby taro in a millisecond.

is such a happy pill to you, but when you go without seeing him for more than 24 hours, then you suddenly become sad and depressed.

his favorite pass time is to talk about you, and he has proven that many..... many times. the members always get annoyed when the room is silent he and suddenly groans " man, i really miss my girlfriend ". but the poor boy can't help that you're always on his mind 😕

he definitely loves to annoy you, but only because he knows that you won't get angry at him. he thinks that you don't get angry at him because you basically let him do anything he wants ( which is true ), but it's really because even though taro likes to tease,, he never crosses the line.

if you would ever be at an awards show together, he wouldn't even try to hide your relationship — meaning the boy is quite literally gushing over how good you look. pokes you in the side and giggles quietly to himself as he watches you stiffen and try not to flinch.

" shotaro! what was that?! we were live! "

" it was so funny! "

———————・✦

• eunseok

boyfriend eunseok may seem nonchalant and tsundere ( yes i used that word, what're you gonna do about it 😛 ), he actually cares about you so much.

is on the verge of tears when he's cleaning a wound for you ( it's literally a paper cut ). will help you do everything for the rest of the day like you just got out of the ER or something.

makes you laugh all the time because he just wants to see you smile. his life goal is to protect you at all costs, and treat you like an absolute princess.

loves loves lovessss when you play with his hair or scratch his back. he can put up the tough guy act all he wants, but the minute you offer to rub or scratch his back he'll lay right on your lap and won't get up for another hour.

and even though he isn't as expressive, he gives you compliments like no other. he praises every little thing you do, and compliments you on every single piece of clothing you wear.

" you look so good baby "

" i'm literally wearing pajama pants and a tank top seok..? "

" i stand by my earlier statement "

( are my daddy issues showing yet? )

———————・✦

• sungchan

boyfriend sungchan is so cute i want to throw a rock at him. alright that made sense in my head.

he's so so so in love with you i don't think he could possibly put it in words. he probably wants to throw a rock at you too.

like you could literally glance at him for one millisecond, and that's a kiss in his book. he still gets giddy over the little things like holding hands and hugging and it's just so endearing 🙁

sometimes he forgets how handsome he is, and only remembers when he gets a scolding because he didn't know a girl was hitting on him.

no but seriously sometimes the fact that he is so insanely attractive leaves his brain. and the amount of girls that mindlessly flirt with him — even though his girlfriend is right there — double the amount when he's at the gym.

so he dosent leave for the gym until he gets sprayed with a bunch of your perfume, has a picture of you two in his phone case, a scrunchie on his wrist, and a pink bow around his arm. ( the last one is just cus... why wouldn't you try to tie a bow around sungchan's arm?? )

" maybe i should buy you a shirt with a picture of me on it "

" or i could just act like i'm gay when girls come up to me "

" oh my gosh yes! "

———————・✦

• wonbin

boyfriend wonbin is the beginning of the sassy man apocalypse. i say this from the heart wonbin 🤍

no but it's really a good thing because you needed someone who would overdress everywhere with you 😋. he still has never overdressed you ofc, he knows his limits 😼

most people thought you guys were just this big glamorous couple who slept glamorously, went on big glamorous dates, and just breathed in glamorous air.

this, however, is a big lie. most of the time you had dates at home, in bed, eating takeout, and watching horror movies.

although wonbin is very very very very hot in every way, most of the time you just saw him as a guy who was born to be a cutie patootie, but was forced to act like the mysterious hot guy.

wonbin only let's you see the soft side of him because he can really open up to you, and you understand him so well.

if wonbin is ever having a bad day and won't open up to anyone, the members call you immediately since they know that you'd be able to calm him down in five minutes tops.

" go away "

" binnie, baby it's me. you can open the door "

———————・✦

• seunghan

boyfriend seunghan most definitely was best friend seunghan before you "accidentally" made out one night

your love language is annoying each other and pissing one another off <3

you two are most definitely the couple everyone brings over to have a good time. the both of you together is quite literally is the best combo you could put together for having fun.

seunghan will annoy you, but make it up with the dozens of gifts he gives you for no reason. you showed him something online? he bought it. you thought something was cute at the mall? he's already whipping his credit card out.

he's not necessarily clingy, but will be touching you most of the time just to make sure you don't disappear. whenever you're at a party, or in public, he'll have an arm around your waist just for reassurance. he does in fact think you'll get kidnapped if you're not in his line of vision.

boyfriend seunghan most definitely calls you the most out of pocket nicknames just for fun. he thinks it's gold comedy.

" i'm home cucumber! "

or

" how was your day tissue? "

———————・✦

• sohee

boyfriend sohee makes me want to go into a cuteness aggression not gonna lie to you. the biggest simp out of the seven.

has you as his lockscreen and homescreen, has your photo card in his phone case, your birthday is his phone password, and his password for all of his accounts is the day he asked you out. ( he's a bit obsessed ngl )

sohee is usually very smiley, but he never ever smiles as wide as when he's with you. you're the only one who gets to see his fully pearly white smile

is still really shy around you, but it's so endearing. like if you say "i love you" he'll say it back but his neck, ears, and face will be a shade of red. or if you kiss him it'll still take him a minute to calm down because he has the reddest face ever right now.

like shotaro, sohee talks about you too much too. but honestly he only does it sometimes to make them mad or annoyed, but sometimes he really does just to talk about his perfect girlfriend.

will make sure you NEVER eat alone. he just thinks it's so sad that his girlfriend would eat alone when she could be eating with him.

" have you already eaten? "

" yes "

" aw, i wanted you to eat with me "

" oh, i haven't eaten yet, what do you want? "

" but you just- "

———————・✦

• anton

boyfriend anton makes me want to skip around my room and sing " look at the grass, the dirt! just like i dreamed they'd be! "

he gets really shy when you compliment him, but will compliment you on every single thing you say or do. like he'll literally say you look perfect when you're in sweatpants, and it makes you wanna do cartwheels and swoon over him.

he will so lose it every time you dress up at all. like he's literally drooling with goo goo eyes and he will NOT leave your side.

he feels so small next to you even though he's literally a whole shaq o'neal 2.0. he still can't believe how he pulled a bad bitch like you.

his love language is physical touch, but he is too shy to make the first move. for example, when you're sitting on the couch, about to watch a movie, he'll keep his hands to himself even though he wants to lay on your chest and have you play with his hair so badly.

people figure out your dating because when he's on live he'll bring you up every chance he gets. like every time he reads a comment, he somehow finds every single one to have something to do with you.

" anton what's your tmi? "

" um, my tmi for today is that i watched y/n's performance at mcountdown in person today and oh my god- "

❕

[absolutebl]

Meet You At the Blossom - Watch Along

Maybe a trash watch? We will find out.

But first what do we know about this show?

Well, I can't for the life of me remember the title. The article placement it too weird so it will henceforth be called Blossom okay?

Here's what I learned from @renafire

Duck daddy!!!!! I bring news! China didn't kill the gays! Meet You at the Blossom is an HEA! Golden retriever XiaoBao x ice prince Huaien (who gets the shit stabbed out of him an awful lot for being a ML). A side CP of dumb, pretty bodyguard x eccentric doctor. The background plot was basically a bunch of middle age men fighting about the ML's long dead mother. Needles! So many needles! (It was practically a sickfic tbh) Flapping sleeves! Flowing hair! Poison! Politics! A villain weirdly into kites! Prisoners in chains you can easily slip your hand through! Dimples! Loyal bodyguards becoming family! It's not the best thing ever, but it ends happily! There was even a line about "true love has nothing to do with gender" which I feel like is a big deal for something associated with China?

This convinced me to watch, so I thought I'd just post it verbatim to convince you, too.

So I'd refused to watch Blossom because I assumed the leads would die or at least be torn asunder at the end, and that there would be no kisses.

So this Watch Along is going to be me eating crow.

China pretty much always does censored BL (when they do it at all) since 2017 or so. You can watch something like My E-Sports Genius Brother for the style of "happy but censored BL" that I've grown to expect from China. (Although I wouldn't necessarily recommend it.)

They didn't used to do this! Time once was that China was this chaotic minefield of tasty mess meets terrible tropes (like kidnapping, stepbrothers, rape, whipping boy, and dub con). I had a weird love for it at the time because it was the Wild Wild World of BL beck then and I didn't know to expect better.

I come from 90s Yaoi. Remember?

Ah the bad old days. (You can read a history of CBL here. Not updated in ages.)

Where was I?

So, what I knew about Blossom was that it was a Wuxia BL and that it was made with Thailand, or for Thailand, or something to do with Thailand (there is Thai script on the promo material) and that it wasn't being distributed inside Mainland China. (I still worry about the actors but that's kinda a natural state for me and BL outside of Japan.)

Outside of China Blossom got wide distribution showing up everywhere iQIYI (China based), Viki (Japan based), Gaga (Taiwan based) WeTV (US Based) and YouTube (Thai Channel Artop Media is serving it).

It also looks like Heavenly is involved and they are Korea based. So like, everyone had their mitts on this thing. We live in crazy times.

Okay so, here are my 20 expectations:

Pony tails with a ribbon or two

Lots of questionable older tropes, especially dub-con & kidnapping (the herb that makes you horny maybe?)

Flowing filmy robes wafting everywhere

EXTREMELY PRETTY men, costumes, make up, setting... well, everything

No consent whatsoever

Pokey pokey, but not with the right kind of swords (a naked blade will be grabbed by a naked hand, sadly also not in the preferred way)

A bodyguard hotter than he has any right to be, wearing black

Floaty fighty fighty, including but not limited to: skid backwards through puffs of dust, a leap to land + one knee down + holding sword + head bowed, a twirly protect baby from baddies

A boat in a lotus pond

Poison, probably green, glittery if I'm lucky

Circular architecture

A big fuck off fan

Puppy-cat pairing

They wander through bamboo, sit down at the edge of a lake, probubly on a log

Wound tending, of course, because there will be lots of wounds

Someone pushed onto a platform bed (also kneeling in front of it)

A jail with straw in it

Older men with sparse beards detracting from the romance

Fruit or some other food being thrown

Some serious SLEEVE action.

Li Le as Zong Zheng Huai En

Probably the reserved unhinged one. Has sword, will prod.

He has a solid track record of shows under his belt. So to speak. One wonders how they persuaded him to do BL. He sure is pretty tho.

Wang Yun Kai as Jin Xiao Bao

The son of the wealthiest man in the Jiangnan region, probably the cheerful cute one.

He's an entirely green actor.

Most of the cast is from mainland China, with the exception of Achi Sukonlaphat Sribubpha, who is Thai (obvs) and under Artop Media.

Nancy Chen is directing

She is a Taiwanese director and screenwriter, who directed HIStory 4 and HIStory 5 (neither all that great) and was behind very queer friendly Pappy & Daddy.

I wouldn't call her a stellar director. I would say I've been reserving judgement, but if you pin me down I'd call her Taiwan's New.

Pitch

Xiao Bao (cute) falls in love with icy, white-robed stunner Huai En due to an unexpected meeting. Discovers she is actually a boy (and a baddie). Hijinx ensue.

Adapted from the novel Hua Kai You Shi Tui Mi Wu Sheng 花开有时, 颓靡无声 by Shui Qian Cheng 水千丞

Co-production with China and Taiwan. But the country of origin is listed as Thailand.

12 Episodes, 40 min each (or so) for a total fresh content run time of 8 hours.

Aired: Jul 11, 2024 - Aug 15, 2024 on iQiyi, Viki, WeTV, Gaga

Shall we get started?

I had a surfeit of options since Viki, Gaga, and iQIYI all had Blossom. I like Viki's interface best, want to support Gaga the most, but in this case, I opted for iQIYI because... screen shots. So it's all your fault.

EPISODE 1: Nicknames, pretty men, dimples, twirly, stabby, floof!

I don't like the intro music, it's too slow and tinkly, but classic for the genre I suppose. Still I'm fast forwarding through all the falling cherry blossoms.

All right. Now it's about time for... YES...

Emperor Infodump

Chancellor of Extraneous Explanations

As You Know Bo

Sorry sorry. The puns must flow.

The deets: layabout emperor = chaos & suffering. New emp = strong & popular but his baby bro wants to rule. New emp exiles bro to obscurity. New emp = good ruler. Order established through patriarchal dominance. Children laughing in the street. Got it.

I will not be remembering names, FYI.

We open on kid in trouble over a kite killed(?) by baddie.

Enter pretty spangled skippy puppy McDimples. I shall call him Dimples. Dimples = spoiled rich kid having trouble finding a wife - presumably because they all know he gay.

Enter hottie evil cut-glass cheekbones McPoutypants. Haven't decided what I shall call him. It'll come to me.

Extremely pretty men. CHECK.

Ooo, a big hat on horse back!

Of course, how could I not have had that trope on my checklist? My bad.

And a bunch of assassins slow-dropping out of trees like lazy fruit. I forgot that, too.

I gotta say, fairy prince or high elf is not a bad moniker for twirly-sword cheekbones supreme.

Floaty fighty fighty! CHECK

Oh, I thought they'd go in for crossdressing at the very least but I guess they went for Dimples is an idiot instead. Interesting choice. I see we also have the "baby is a clumsy bunny" trope all set to deploy. Carry on.

Grab the sword and skid through the dirt. CHECK!

And a fainting!

Pony tail with ribbons. CHECK

Dimples might be a bit too much of a prat and an idiot for me.

[Have begun watching at 1.25 speed. Don't fault me.]

I always find the orange/yellow eye makeup that Cdramas put on characters of questionable morality fascinating. Why those colors specifically? And why eye makeup specifically?

We arrive home. It fancy. Daddy doesn't want an unknown lady for his baby (silly daddy, ladies are for ladies, boys are for boys).

Everyone acknowledging that elf prince is, in fact, The Prettiest is very pleasing to me.

Meanwhile, there is some kind of list/stuff/thingy and Prince Shen wants it and is a bad guy, maybe? I can't remember names from the beginning so I have no idea what's going on with the plot but also, it is only going to get more convoluted. Plus the weekend is coming so I'll eventually be drinking and watching this. Plot is for people who don't like BL. And don't have six bottles of sake in their fridge.

Snicker.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Judiciously NOT following the plot.

Dimples and his 2 enablers seem to share about 1/3 of a braincell between them. But they're sincere about it.

Engage secret identity trope and the expected cross dressing.

Ooo Shen is The Prettiest's uncle? Damn it I'm trying to follow the plot again. Must not get sucked into plot. This is a Cdrama therein lies madness. Ah, Prettiest is the son of the emperor's exiled younger bro? Got it.

Twirly protect baby from baddies! CHECK

And that's episode 1 in the bag. In the sheath?

My thoughts so far:

This couldn't be more exactly what I expected if it tried. I mean it is trying. And it's succeeding in being a Wuxia BL. So. Yay! Performing to the packaging. I appreciate that in a show.

I'm looking forward to more.

(On the advice of one of my spies I've switched to watching on YT when I can, YT and Gaga are supposed to have the better subs than iQIYI and Viki. That said I found iQIYI's serviceable.)

EPISODE 2: Checking a bunch of stuff off my list in rapid succession

Poisoning?

No. Sex herb? CHECK

Discovery that she is in fact he?

Dominance Tussle? Dub con? Rape? Already? CHECK

Well that came fast (presumably so did he).

There’s a lot happening all at once at the beginning of just ep 2. 

It’s an ACCOUNT BOOK that’s causing all this fuss? Hilarious. 

Enter the anticipated hottie (bodyguard? spy?) in all black wearing a hedgehog. CHECK

(I didn’t expect the hedgehog, I have to admit.)

Oh is the single brain cell society is trying to grow additional brain cells? That's not gonna work.

Cheekbones is still the prettiest.

Oh HELLO stern grabby Daddy not-older brother of yummy. We likey.

Who do you belong to?

Why do you have The Biggest Sleeves?

Do I take that as a sign of gayness?

Please? 

Ooo looks like I’m right. 

Also this is very silly.

And "I never said she was a woman."

It’s just so funny.

OH NO!

Stern prince bro is leaving already?

I only had Grabby McDaddy for a very short length of time. I already miss him. 

Meanwhile, Dimples apparently has no compunction about being in love with a man, we blew through a bisexual identity crisis while I wasn't looking, and now we exist inside the gay=okay bubble? I did not expect The Bubble(tm) to show up in a Wuxia, but I guess this is a BL universe and we all just float around in it… 

Cheekbones is a bit of an asshole. Quite apart from the, ya know, bit of rapey rape thing.

I also did not have absolutely terrible VO dubbing on my bingo card. I forgot about that one in Cdramas.

EPISODE 3: Distracted by the pretty

Some kind of dark past for dimples and his little (not blood ) sister. 

Sniff test, the greatest trope of 2024 apparently. Nice to see the execution of a modern trope in a vintage style BL.

Aa ha! Kneeling next to a platform bed. CHECK

And more poisoning and drugs.

Wound tending. CHECK

Aweeeee Dimples is worried about Cheekbones! How cute.

Also, the ice queen appears to be melting.

Ooo. More sexitimes? Consensual this time. Okay. I guess Taiwan did get its nuts all over this show. (Honestly, that was a mistype but I'm keeping it in.)

The bit with all the bodyguards was great.

And my love for Mr. All-Black Clued-in Hottie persists.

We are now in the “does he like me back?” phase of the high school narrative. We are also in the "do I like him at all?" part of the narrative. Suddenly, this is an angsty YA. 

Ice queen has melted and is now turning into jelly. (Can you tell I’m very pleased with myself and this metaphor?) 

And now, Dimples is sick?

Boy, is this fast moving! I have to say, that is something I did not expect at all. Usually Cdramas are much slower than this.

I do love how shameless D imples is. It’s kind of delightful. He’s definitely in his bisexual awakening slut phase.

Cheekbones is also a doctor, apparently. Useful man. 

In other news: I would really like to add a full length crossover wafting robe into my wardrobe. I have no idea why I feel compelled by such a thing.

EPISODE 4: Gay sleeves AT last

Not a lot happened in this episode. Mostly flirting. More backstory and plot that doesn’t really matter. Presumably this intended to be character motivation?

We do not need him to be motivated we need him to be pretty. Understand the brief please.

Why no more floaty floaty sleeves?

Oooo, because sleeves in gay! CHECK

I did like the scene of the blood being cleaned up after the assassination attempt(?). It’s kind of nice to see that depicted for a change. I always worry about all that blood on that nice stone work.

Oh the handholding it was very cute.

Ice queen has melted and now turned entirely to jelly. Very very jelly.

Dimples is so stupid proud of his tall deadly wife. It's flipping adorable in a very goofy way.

I guess Cheekbones has come around and now Dimples has officially been claimed, multiple times and in multiple ways. He can't change his mind or anything now. Trouble is afoot...

asleeve?

ahead...

ahem.

I'll stop now.

EPISODE 5 - It is a Thing I guess?

OMG Cheekbones just loves his stilly bint of a bf. It’s absolutely absurd. The ultimate puppy/cat pairing.

I love it that he’s just casually walking around with a knife sticking out of his back and only cares that baby may have gotten a splinter in his finger.

Now we are in the vows portion of the early romance. I am assuming betrayal is coming soon? 

Grabby McDaddy! I missed you! Here to perform the part of Basil Exposition I see? No grabby for me? Sad. Unfortunately, if you aren’t flirting with a man I’m going to be fast forwarding. Although your sleeves are very nice.

Uh oh, Dimples is in trouble. 

Okay that was that. No screen caps, I lazy.

EPISODE 6 - DOOOMMMM

Oh lovely. More rape. I guess Dimples went looking for that response? Is that the implication? Does Dimples have a rape kink? What is with this show? 

No brothels for a baby I guess.

It’s not gay... it’s poison? 

It’s not bisexuality... it’s the slut herb? 

The single brain cell club is now the wailing fates. 

I guess cutting off a man’s hand out of jealousy is no biggie? Well this is a BL. Jealousy is the #1 excuse!

Fighty floaty blood spatter death! This time on wooden planks. Those are impossible to get clean. 

Meanwhile, there’s a lot of backstory and stuff I don’t care about, and probably can’t follow even if I did care about it.

I don’t like the Emperor at all. But then I don’t think I meant to. I am a little shocked that there aren’t more men with sparse beards distracting from the romance. But I guess this is a BL, they go for youth even in wuxia.

EPISODE 7 - You know what they say about a man with big sleeves?

Oh, Daddy McGrabby is back and he's a good guy (?)! He’s also in love with Dimples. 

Oh no!

What is this sensation I feel being thrust upon me?

Is that…? Is that second lead syndrome?  I think it is.

Oh well, it was fated the moment I saw the length of his... sleeves in episode 2.

Meanwhile?

Dimples gets tortured by acupuncture. 

Poisonings are always so elegant and classy in Cdramas.

Blah blah captured rescued captured rescued again sort of. Cheekbones is now seriously imperiled. We swap one for the other in Grave Danger (TM).

Enter the Divine Doctor character! Who (Dr) I have been told reliably by previous witnesses is A Favorite. I do love this particular archetype (quirky healer wise beyond his years - sometimes actual immortal. ) I am prepared to be delighted.  

EPISODE 8 - Divine Doctor is Emperor of the Gays

The divine doctor and 1/3 brain cell is not a pairing I thought was going to happen. Frankly it doesn't seem like the writers thought about it much either.

But it did make me laugh out loud.

It’s fantastic. I love them. I love this for me. I love a secondary couple for this show. Carry-on.

I LOVE THE DOCTOR SO MUCH. 

Everyone was absolutely correct. He is the best character. He is my favorite. He is openly gay and a troublemaker and absolute queen. And I adore him forever. No notes.

King Emperor behavior!

The evil crown prince has a crush on Daddy McGrabby. With good reason, he does have the biggest sleeves.

(I have a crush on Daddy McGrabby.) And he clearly likes brats, so I think the crown prince is in with a chance, actually.

(Not me, sadly. Despite the rumors I am not a brat. I make no case for this.)

EPISODE 9 - The Plot Thickens like Shampoo

Oh, Cheekbones is the new crown prince? We have a whole Snape situation going on here?

And finally Cheekbone knows what is happened to his poor little tortured Dimples. (oof that acting tho. before you say "what acting" i KNOW.)

In all honesty, I’m quite engaged by the drama of the show at this point and kind of losing my snark because of it. Don't get mad at me.

It’s not a bad show. I mean it’s a melodramatic soap opera, but that’s to be expected. It's so soapy it's like one of those extra foamy soap dispenser soaps.

To be entirely fair most gay men of my acquaintances have very similar relationship trajectories. Minus some of the casual murder (aside from character assassinations of course). 

EPISODE 10 - Oh Noes All Round

Not enough of my beloved divine doctor emperor of the gays. But you can’t have everything. 

Oh noes, my babies are fighting. 

But he brought you a big thistle! Don't fight!

Oh they get to kind of make up, or something. It’s sweet. Puppy Dimples accidentally caught himself a psychopath. To be fair tho, all cats are psychopaths at heart.

Oh noes Daddy McGrabby is planning on killing Cheekbones. No Daddy. Not the Cheekbones!

The cheek kiss from Cheekbones was so romantic. Normally I’m not a huge fan of this particular smooch, but under these circumstances it was very good.

EPISODE 11 - So Many Gay Emperors no one cares about the actual emperor

I wish I could shut somebody up by a simple double tap to the collarbone. It’s like the wuxia version of a block feature on tumblr.

Meanwhile, the part where 2/3 of a brain cell are comparing how hot their respective fierce gay emperors are to each other is truly hilarious. I actually clapped.

This is so ridiculous.

Epic eye roll from the remaining 1/3 of a brain cell. And I have to say I’m on his side in this matter.

Oh noes Daddy McGrabby is not, in fact, on the side of twrew lurve after all.

How sad. 

EPISODE 12 - The Bisexual In the Bathtub & other nursery rhymes of my youth

I love this silly bint of a bisexual in the bath between two fierce gay dudes who are about to give their life force to keep him alive.

Someone definitely once drew this as Lord of the Rings fanart 20 years ago.

I guess our single brain cell has been torn asunder. And Daddy McGrabby never did get his man.

Next series?

Bing him back to me.

With EVEN BIGGER SLEEVES!

IN CONCLUSION

All cards on the table?

This was undeniably a wuxia and most definitely a BL.

Evil stunning princely Cheekbones meets and falls in love with the bisexual Disaster dimples of his dreams. There’s a lot of floaty fighting, tangled plot, and overworked emotions. From start to finish it was exactly as it claimed to be, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming.

I’m not wild about the wuxia genre, but I will tell you what I do like:

Very pretty men in flowing robes + eye makeup + hair ribbons wafting about stabbing and kissing each other plus ridiculous soap opera machinations. I also like cheekbones and dimples. AND I love a stupid gay sleeve, okay? There was also truly epic levels of stink-eye, and that too is to be lauded.

This show left me grinning like crazy. Was it great? Not really, but it was a great experience and I enjoyed it immensely.

I’m so glad you all persuaded me to watch it in the end.

Thank you! 

I should probably give it an 9/10 because I had such a good time watching it. But I’m not going to, because it isn’t a 9/10 drama. It had a lot of flaws chewing at that pretty (boom mic riddled) scenery, not to mention all the rapey rape.

It’s a solid 8/10

(source)

[suckerforcate]

making my first emily request, not read much of it yet bc i'm worried about spoilers and i'm only on season 4 (tbf have fucking blasted through it so far, watching multiple eps a day).

emily/reader, reader is hotch's little sister who isn't part of the bau but works with them occasionally. hotch Does Not Know about her and em. unclear if he even knows she's gay. any other details of it are up to you bestie, i trust you 💚

Segreto Piccolo

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1336

Warning: I think none?

Summary: Emily and you had been dating for a few months and now you're brother had found out (set around season 3 or 4)

A/n: OK, so this is the first time I've ever written for Em. I hope it's okay? Hope it's not too ooc. Would be delighted by a comment or repost!!! <3

■----------------------------------------■

“Come on, babe. He won’t rip your head off.” You nearly whined and gave Emily the best puppy eyes you could manage. You’d been dating her for a few months now, it was all still very fresh, but you really liked her. A lot.

Your brother, Aaron Hotchner, was the Unit Chief of the BAU and sometimes brought you in for cases. You worked as a children’s psychiatrist and had turned out to be very helpful on cases involving children. In any form, as victims, as witnesses and as UnSubs. On one of those cases, you had met Emily Prentiss. Truth be told, she had caught your eye immediately, but it had taken you three more cases to actually ask her out. She was amazing, not to mention absolutely gorgeous. She was smart and quick-witted, an amazing Profiler, adorable with kids and really funny. And after you had started dating you had learned that she loved with all she had. And it was wonderful.

Except for one thing. She was afraid of telling your brother. Emily hadn’t been on the team for long, and now she hooked up with his baby sister? He’d kill her. Or at least that’s what she assumed. She didn’t know Aaron like you did. He could be stoic and serious at work, but he was a sweetheart and a wonderful brother. He loved you and all he wanted was you to be happy. He might need some time adjusting, but he could never be mad for long.

“He’ll kill me, Tesoro. He’s only just warmed up to me.” She grumbled and you knew that was true. Her start on the team had been a bit bumpy. The whole situation was ridiculous. The two of you were cramped in about the smallest room in the whole building. A little storage room. You could feel some sort of utensils press into your spine, and you saw a box of pencils just over Emily’s shoulder. All in all, ridiculous to talk about something like this, at work, while hiding.

“No, he will not, Emily.” You pressed on, your hand still on her hip. Truthfully it didn’t really have anywhere else to go in this cramped space. “It might shock him a bit, but he’ll come around. Please, Em. You know how important Aaron is to me. I want him to know.” You explained what you had explained at least five times before and again gave her puppy dog eyes she rarely could refuse.

You could see her melt under your gaze and just as she wanted to answer the door to the small room opened, and you were faced with your brother’s usual serious expression. His expression didn’t change much, but you could see a subtle twitch of his eyes. His eyes wandered from you to Emily and back to you again. “Office. Both, now.” And he was gone. Emily groaned and closed her eyes.

“It’ll be fine, Em.” You tried to reassure her. You knew he’d probably be more disappointed than anything, cause you hadn’t told him. He didn’t even know you liked women. Emily let her head fall against your shoulder. “We had a nice few months, dolcezza. But I think I’m walking into my own death now.” She really had a hang for drama. Playfully you slapped her shoulder and chuckled.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Come on, babe.” You said and took her hand to lead her into your brother's office. No point in hiding it now. Besides, you had the suspicion that Penelope had known right from the start and that meant that at least Derek knew as well. And JJ was perceptive, Spencer on the other hand not so much for a Profiler. But what does it matter?

You led Emily through the bullpen and up the few steps right to Aaron’s office door. It was open, and your brother was already looking at you. No need to knock, you thought. You simply stepped inside, Emily practically needing to be dragged in there behind you. You motioned her to close the door and very reluctantly she let go of your hand to do so.

Aaron got up and rounded his desk, standing in front of you, his hands in his pockets. His features softened visibly. The way they did at work only if you were around. Or if Jack came to visit. “Why didn’t you tell me you like women?” He asked, and you saw a hint of surprise on Emily’s face in the corner of your eye. She didn’t know that he didn’t know. But contrary to what she probably believed now it hadn’t been because you were scared to come out or anything. You simply shrugged.

“I thought I’d tell you if I’ll ever get a girlfriend and then I kind of never did.” You said and looked at him a bit sheepishly. “But now I do.” You said and smiled proudly, which warmed Emily’s heart immediately and calmed her immensely. Aaron even cracked a very small smile. Then he looked at Emily at the small vanished. You grabbed Em’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“You’ve been here little more than a year and start dating my sister, Prentiss?” He said and studied Emily. You could say he was profiling her. Emily opened her mouth, no doubt to defend herself. But Aaron gave her not a second. “Remember, I’m your superior. Hurt her, and you’ll fly off this team faster than you can blink.” You had to hide a small giggle. Aaron rarely played protective brother. It was a bit funny to see almost all colour fade from Emily’s face. She interrogated Serial Killers, but your brother was too much.

“Alright, Aaron. Enough of that.” You said and drew his attention back to you. He softened a bit again and pulled you into a rare hug. No words. Just a hug. And that was enough. Then he rounded his desk and sat down again.

“You're invited for dinner on Saturday.” He said right before you were out of his office. It nearly looked comedic, the way everything in Emily’s face fell as soon as she heard him. You quickly closed the office door behind you and grabbed her hands.

Emily wasn’t the relationship type. She hadn’t had a lot of them, and they had never been very long. Or at least that’s what she had told you. She was always afraid of somehow fucking it up. You squeezed her hands until she was looking at you.

“It’ll be fine. He didn’t rip your head off now, he won’t on Saturday. And Jack will love you, which is basically the way to Aaron’s heart.” It did little to calm the brunette. She swallowed hard and nodded slowly.

“What do I wear? How do I act? Do I buy him something? Wine? I’ve never done this before, dolcezza.” She rambled, and it would have been cute if she hadn’t looked so worked up.

“You’ll wear something nice. Which you always do. I promise Aaron will just be wearing a T-shirt. You act like yourself which is the way I love you. And wine is a good idea but absolutely not necessary.” You assured her, answering one question after another. You had been so concerned about calming her that you hadn’t really thought about the exact words you had used.

“Love?” She asked a bit perplexed. Maybe it was a bit early but with Emily? How could you not love her. You grinned a bit stupidly. “Of course, you idiot.” She cracked a smile at that, and you were very thankful for that. You’d walk through hell to see that smile.

“Ti amo anch'io, tesoro.” She whispered against your lips, having leaned in. The kiss was a bit sloppy, cause you were both smiling like lovesick idiots. Which you kind of were.

“Oh my god, this is adorable!” A very excited voice called through the bullpen, unmistakably Penelope’s. Emily and you broke apart, laughing softly. You stood incredibly close to each other, hands still intertwined. Both your head turned, and you weren’t surprised to see the whole team stare at you. Most of them just smiled knowingly. Spencer looked like he had missed about twenty chapters, which her kind of had. His head turned from us to JJ next him.

“Wha-?” Everyone just laughed fondly. Everything was fine.

[the-roo-too]

karina fluff alphabet when? 😭😭

now? 🥲

candy -> yu jimin ver

aka the fluff alphabet

admiration (what does she absolutely adore about you)- i can’t say you whole because that would be too cliche, but it’s kinda true. she looks at you with those heart eyes like you build her world brick by brick

body (what’s her favourite body part of yours)- karina the typa girl who’d poke your lip a little lol. running her thumb over it—she loves that shit. you have so many lip balms because she says they remind her of you

cuddling (how she likes to cuddle)- i think she likes looking at you when you’re cuddling. just because you look so cute up close, yk? (with rizz 🫦) so she loves you laying your head on her lap, or you cuddling up to her chest <3

dates (what’s her ideal date)- cat cafe typa person. you’re eating yummy pancakes AND a cute little cat is purring on your lap? alternatively she’d love to hear some classical music for a late night outing, like going to an opera just for the sake of it. she’s a sucker for classical music i’m telling you 😔

emotions (how does she express her emotions around you)- with that, she doesn’t really hide. you’re her girlfriend, you both should communicate your emotions to ensure a happy relationship:)

family (does she want one)- maybeee..? she’d like kids at home but not maybe all of the time. i think you two would be the rich gay aunties who spoil their little nieces if anything

gifts (what about gift giving)- she’s not to big on that tbh. in the love language section i get more into the details, but karina prefers acts of service over gifts, she’ll also love if you do it back!

holding hands (does she like to hold hands)- not in public!!! but at home? she has to hold your hand while you’re watching movies or she’ll just spend the whole time looking at you with a pitiful pout on her face

injuries (what would she do if you got hurt)- hurt=papercut: kisses it better and runs to get you a bandaid. “wounds heal better when you kiss them”; hurt=broken leg: when you get the cast, she carries you around everywhere 😭 you’re like a backpack now, glued to her back. now imagine the muscles she’ll build with that workout…

jokes (does she like to joke around)- dry ass dad jokes and you can’t convince me otherwise. karina would use bad pick up lines on you, the ones you’d find on tiktok or smth. she’d be so proud too 😭😭😭

kisses (how does she like to kiss you)- i’m thinking hand on your cheek, caressing your skin gently when she leans in to peck your lips <:)

love (what’s her love language)- acts of service. brings you coffee in the morning, offers to give you a massage when you come to her tired after a long and busy day. she thinks gifts are nice, but not personal enough. karina wants you to feel how much she adores you

memory (what’s her favourite memory together)- seeing you on the street one day 😭 first time you two met it was raining heavily and she won you over by running to you with her umbrella, mustering up all of her rizzing nature 😔 the memory still makes her stomach flutter

nighttime (how does sleeping with her look like)- big on being the big spoon, then cuddles up to you like a cat in the middle of the night. she just needs to be warm ok. you think you’re in a relationship? you’re her personal heat pad

oddity (what’s one quirky thing about her)- karina is a massive loser i am telling you

pet names (what does she like to call you)- ‘babie’, ‘my cutie’, ‘dearest’. maybe also variations of your name like ‘y/nnie’, ‘y/nny’ etc

quality time (how does she like to spend time with you)- imagine for a second that you play some instrument, like piano. now stay with me, she absolutely adores it. wants you to play her silly pieces, like parts of their songs or chopin’s waltz’s.

rush (does she rush into things)- after that previous relationship? no thank you 💖

secrets (how open is she with you)- tells you about how she stole a pencil from her best friend in third grade, a secret she promised to take to grave with her, but refuses to tell you her parent’s names until you’re together like a year. silly things > personal info

time (how long did it take her to confess)- you tricked her into confessing ☝️ girlie wasn’t picking up on your ‘subtle’ signs (visiting her every two days for a month straight) so you talked about hot idols you’d have a crush on until she admitted to hating when you spoke about others because she wanted you to be hers 🤙

upset (what’s her reaction when you’re upset)- karina needs help then lol. she won’t know by herself what to do. maybe if you’re upset over something minor, like her forgetting to give you a kiss when she was leaving in the morning, she’s just kiss you to apologise when she’s back? otherwise the whole aespa is recruited as a rescue squad lol

visibility (is she afraid of the public opinion)- terrified 👍 we all know how fans reacted to her last public relationship so… idk if she would wanna come out with you until you’re like getting married 🥲

warrior (how often do you fight)- i think she’s a little scared to fight honestly. she thinks fighting would make you see her weak sides and she’s just scared to loose you :(((

x-ray (is she able to read you)- yes but also, karina is a loser trapped in a hot body let’s be honest. she just doesn’t pick up some clues :( poor baby thinks you’re coming to their dorm just because and it takes a lot of convincing for her to understand your one on one late night hangouts are in fact dates

yes (how would she propose to you)- in the most corny ass way you can think of. sappy love confession under the moonlight OR maybe she’d propose if dispatch somehow caught whiff of your relationship lol. then it would be rushed tho

zen (what makes her feel calm)- hear me out, driving around. especially, driving around a motorcycle. i don’t think she has a motorcycle license lol karina just gives me the vibes of someone who, when she’s stressed, would ask you to get with her on her bike. also, wrapping your arms around her waist ☝️🤓

part of [the fluff series]

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating sanji edition

— modern! au , so fun , slight nsfw bc sanji is funny like that ig LMFAO

— SANJI X MALE READER one of my favorite pairings to ever cross the universe

liked by [name]s.chef, uso_pp, 9k others

lvrboy[name]: oh my god hes so fine someone give me this guys' number

[name]s.chef: BEAUTIFUL BOY MY NUMBER IS XXX-XXX-XXXX PLEASE SAVE MY CONTACT AS PRINCE SANJI I WILL ALWAYS BE AT YOUR BECK AND CALL

-> dni_nami: no fucking way, why did this guy just leak his number TO HIS OWN BOYFRIEND

uso_pp: the day sanji doesn't comment in all caps to his boyfriends posts is the day the apocolypse comes

-> roro.zoro: fr why he always yelling at him....

-> freeluffy: sanji is so aggressive to his own boyfriend, should we help [name]? -> [name]s.chef: YOU MORONS HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE AND IT SHOWS

-> uso_pp: ruhroh he angry

love.pudding: is he single?

-> [name]s.chef: I AM A GAY MAN AND IN LOVE WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND - I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE ELSE BUT MY LOVER, I AM A LOYAL MAN TO MY BOYFRIEND. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR HIM IF YOU WISH TO DATE EITHER OF US. WE ARE DEEPLY IN LOVE AND ALWYS WILL BE.

[liked by lvrboy[name]]

liked by freeluffy, dni_nami, boahancock, and 10k others

[name]s.chef: I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY HES THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM

tagged: lvrboy[name]

dni_nami: never seen you smile that wide before

-> roro.zoro: i wish i never saw it, it's terrifying

-> [name]s.chef: i fucking hate you, dont interact with any of my posts you idiot

-> [lvrboyname]: holy shit whenever you guys breathe do you have to insult each other

-> [name]s.chef: I WON'T ANYMORE MY BABY

SUPERCOLA: do you guys remember when sanji said he hated [name] and rejected the idea of being in love with him.

-> lvrboy[name]: LMFAOAOOA

-> {name]s.chef: that wasnt me, that was my evil twin that was plotting on my downfall.

liked by [name]s.chef, roro.zoro, and 10k others

lvrboy[name]: personal bottle boy <3

tagged: [name]s.chef

[name]s.chef: until the bed breaks. as many rounds as you want, any position you want, anything.

-> dni_nami: sanji please be fucking normal challenge

[liked by roro.zoro and 100 others]

dr.law: is this sanitary???

-> lvrboy[name]: deez nuts in your mouth are about to be sanitary

-> [name]s.chef: TELL HIM BABY TELL HIM !!!

-> dr.law: this shit doesnt even make sense ???

liked by [name]s.chef, lvrboy[name], and 15k others

freeluffy: i can't eat when sanji is making out with [name] across from me. i'm never going out with these two again.

tagged: [name]s.chef and lvrboy[name]

uso_pp: LMFAO i thought it was known to never go out with sanji and [name]? sanji just ends up ignoring you and only paying attention to [name]

-> [name]s.chef: and that's the way it should be. who else should i pay attention to when my beautiful, handsome, erethral boyfriend is right in front of me?

robinkills: i have never heard luffy sound so serious before, what did you two do to him?

-> roro.zoro: probably traumatize him

lvrboy[name]: i'm sorry lu, i'll make it up to you sometime

-> freeluffy: pay for my meals on campus for a week straight :D

-> lvrboy[name]: i'll pay for it for two weeks, i'm really sorry luffy </3

-> [name]s.chef: DONT STEAL MY BOYFRIEND FROM ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT I'LL SKEWER YOU ALIVE

roro.zoro: i think i vomitted in my mouth a little bit, happy for you guys ig.

-> lvrboy[name]: thank you...?

liked by [name]s.chef, dr.law, and 10k others

lvrboy[name]: my bby in crop tops >>>

tagged: [name]s.chef

[name]s.chef: I WILL WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BABE WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, I'LL WEAR. I HAVE EYES FOR NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!!

-> lvrboy[name]: i love you so much muah

SUPERCOLA: sanji and [name] stop making out challenge literally fucking impossible.

[liked by dni_nami, uso_pp, and 90 others]

-> skullnsoul: they're so funny

liked by lvrboy[name], roro.zoro, and 14k others

[name]s.chef: my beautiful boy suprised me by preparing me food with his own recipe today, i think i could cry genuine tears. you guys don't understand how happy i am that i found him and am now able to call him mine. i will love [name] until my last breath. i am so, so lucky.

tagged: lvrboy[name]

uso_pp: okay i guess this was a cute post or whatever.

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 100 others]

lvrboy[name]: sanji i'm gonna cry :< i love u sm too

-> [name]s.chef: pls dont cry my love

ttchopper: my favorite couple, you two are so sweet!

roro.zoro: cant even say anything mean, this is very heartwarming

-> lvrboy[name]: sanji won't tell you this but he giggled and kicked his feet when he read this.

lvrboy[name]'s story

my boyfriend's so fucking sexy-

[name]s.chef replied to your story: CAN I KISS YOU PLEASE COME BACK TO BED SO I CAN KISS YOU PLEASE CAN I KISS YOU CAN I PLEASEEE-

[alllgator-blood]

That cat and that squid are so cunty (affectionate)

I THOUGHT I RESPONDED TO THIS LIKE TWO DAYS AGO I'M SO SORRY

don't question the fact kallamar has a jewelry arm now, somebody in another ask said they wanted to kiss his hand so I gave him a Designated Ring Arm for that comic (should be up within the next few days, I oddly like how the sketch turned out)

The first time someone called my narinder "cunty" on reddit I think I laughed so hard I cried, just the idea that someone thought my drawing of the fucking God Of Death is "CUNTY" is the highest praise to me so I'm happy you sent in this ask. Heket makes a guest appearance because there was a lot of empty space, and SOMEBODY needs to get narinder back into gay baby jail to look after his zoomer sons

[total-dxmure]

✦ MARLEY AND ME →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER THREE

pairing: modern!ellie williams x single mom!reader

summary: you’re a single mom just doing the best that she can to make ends meet. ellie can’t help but think that you're the kindest, most beautiful girl that she’s ever met. compared to taking care a little girl that's in her terrible twos, coming to terms with the fact that you’re a lesbian is a walk in the park. awkward first encounters, ellie’s broken gay-dar, and her overwhelming urge to take care of the care-giver. . . the road to domesticity is a long one, but it’s well worth the pining that it takes to get there.

warnings: THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER MDNI!!! fingering (r receiving), exhibitionism if you squint, eventual substance use, no use of y/n (you have nicknames/petnames), the reader is marley’s biological mother, talk of coming to terms with ones sexuality, mention of a shitty baby daddy ( though there is no co-parenting between them), ellie is a total girl mom, lots and lots of fluff, ellie is an anxious dork in this fic, reader is broke but happy, ellie takes pride in being a provider, this is going to be a multi-part fic, ellie is an absolute simp for the reader since chapter one and will remain her #1 fan.

⬶ previous chapter | next chapter ⤅

The female sat in a heap on the floor, staring intently into the oven. It was almost as though she was willing the cake to rise, trying as hard as she could to convince the damn thing to do what it was supposed to do. She’d already checked the recipe numerous times, trying to see where she might have messed up. Ellie regretted not just doing what Jesse had told her to do. Bringing you some flowers would be better than showing up on your doorstep with an inedible dessert.

“It’s not fucking rising.” She cursed to herself, grabbing a clump of her hair and giving it a sharp tug.

Dirty dishes littered her kitchen counters, batter still splattered on one of her cabinets from the earlier electric mixer mishap. The woman could have easily picked up a store bought cake when she was at the grocery store getting the stupid ingredients, but she had been dumb enough to think that something homemade would taste better. It would seem that the college student enjoyed making her life harder, because on top of what seemed like an impossible workload from her professors, she’d run straight home from her classes, hell bent on making the best strawberry shortcake you and Marley had ever tasted. She’d seen the strawberries in your shopping cart when she had run into you at the grocery store earlier and thought it would be perfect. Only. . . the rubbery cake that didn’t appear to be getting any fluffier was far from perfect.

She’d done everything that the recipe had called for. You would think that doing something as easy as baking a sponge cake would be a walk in the park for someone that was majoring in astrophysics.

The cherry on top was the fact that she only had an hour to get ready before she’d have to leave her house. Which meant that she didn’t have enough time to make another stupid dessert. She turned off her oven with a defeated grunt, angrily stomping over to her fridge to see if she had anything.

It was empty, just like she knew it would be. She doubted that you would appreciate it if she brought over a frozen vegetarian lasagna, but that was all that she had left. Ellie had run out of options.

The phone rang three times before the man on the other end picked up.

“Whatcha want, girl?” Joel’s southern twang sounded on the other line.

Her shoulders instinctively slouched, her rapid heart rate calming ever so slightly.

“Joel. . . do you know how to make a sponge cake?” She asked, opening up a cabinet so that she could start grabbing for the ingredients that she had already put away.

“A sponge cake?” He questioned. She could hear rustling on the other end, then the familiar sound of his reading glasses being placed down onto a flat surface.

“I’m having dinner with a friend, and I wanted to bring dessert.” She was mumbling now, she knew that. Ellie could just imagine the aging man squinting his eyes, pressing the phone harder up against his ear so that he could hear her better.

“Jesse doesn’t care if you bake him a damn cake or not.”

She should have been offended that he thought that her only friend was Jesse. . . but he wasn’t exactly wrong about that. She huffed, rolling her eyes before leaning her hip up against the counter.

“It’s not for Jesse. I’m hanging out with someone else.” She didn’t feel like telling him the entire story of how she had met you, nor did she think that he was ready to hear about Marley.

“Uh- alright. You got a pen, kiddo?”

The woman’s heart was pounding as she climbed the steps up to the small house. She’d driven through the neighborhood quite a lot over the last four years, but would rather die than admit to you that her plug just so happened to live just a few houses down. The bag felt heavy in her hand, embarrassment weighing heavy on her mind as she thought about the fact that she’d have to assemble the fruit and whipped cream after dinner, seeing as the damn cake was still cooling. If there was one thing she could count on Joel to get right every time, it was cooking something delicious. She’d seen the man make a drool worthy meal out of little more than a can of Chef Boyardee, a few onions and fresh parmesan.

Ellie wasn’t Joel though, and there was a good chance that you’d bite into an eggshell. She’d tried her best to fish them out of the batter, but she was positive that she missed a few. She debated just leaving the dessert in her car.

The woman’s feet faltered on the porch, the old wood creaking underneath her. The home was small, but it was obvious that you’d tried to make it nice. Freshly planted flowers were in a few pots right by the screen door. Ellie could imagine Marley’s dirty little palms stuck elbow deep into the pots, wanting nothing more than to help you. Her lips twitched upwards into a smile before she could even help it, because she could hear your voice behind that door.

“Marley Mae! Get your cute little booty over here!” A loud little squeal echoed around the house, followed by a giggle that would even make a weathered soldier’s heart melt.

The woman looked over her outfit one last time, then brushed her free hand over her lips to make sure she hadn’t nervously chewed all of the chapstick off of them. She was wearing the A-Ha band shirt that Jesse had given her last Christmas, and had tucked it into a pair of high waisted trousers. It was stylish without making her look like a try-hard. She held the screen door open with the heel of her boot so that she could knock on the brightly painted door.

Red. It was a nice color too.

You cursed under your breath as you heard the knock, your heart racing as you realized that your daughter was running around the living room with the shirt that you had neatly laid out to wear for tonight. Your nervous brain malfunctioned though- it must have- because you called out to her.

“It’s open!” You wished that you could suck the words right back into your mouth, because there you were, standing right in front of the opening door, in nothing but a lacy blue bra.

She was looking down at the small step up, a few strands of auburn hair falling into her face. She was wearing a pair of high waisted mens dress pants, and the sleeves of her band shirt was cuffed at the sleeves, which showed off her toned arms.

If your brain was malfunctioning before. . . now it has completely shut down.

Marley didn’t seem to care about the visitor. The little girl continued to run around, your freshly washed off-the shoulder top wrinkled in her hands as she ran in circles around the living room. She wasn’t quite sure what she was doing, so you couldn’t be angry. You’d reacted so strongly to her pulling the shirt off of the bed, which was your mistake. She thought it was funny when you chased her, and so you were the idiot for acting on your panicked impulses.

So here you were, completely topless and standing directly in front of Ellie, who still hadn’t noticed your partial nakedness seeing as she was setting the bag she was holding down by the front door. Was she too nervous to look at you? Or. . . was she usually this clueless about her surroundings?

“I was kinda scared that I’d driven to the wrong house-” Her eyes fell on the toddler running around with a shirt in her hands first, her eyebrows knitting in confusion. You could see her lips pull up into a mischievous smile, the understanding that the little girl was doing something that she wasn’t supposed to finally dawning on her.

Then she looked up at you, that same smile still pulling up at her lips and the corners of her bright green eyes.

But then she nearly died.

Both physically and mentally.

“Holy shi-” She stumbled back, throwing her arm behind her so that she could give you some privacy.

Because you were standing in front of her. In nothing but jeans and a bra. . .

And even calling that thing a bra was being too kind. The damned thing was merely pretty wire, polkadot mesh, and some lace. Ellie didn’t have to lay in bed and imagine what your breasts looked like. Not anymore. She’d gotten a full view of them along with your perfectly perky nipples, which was probably due to the box-fan you had turned on in the living room.

Ellie missed the panicked look on your face. She missed whatever words rushed past your lips, because she was too busy staring at your chest. You lurched forwards for her, and all the poor woman could do was stare at the way they bounced.

“Ellie, watch your arm!” You were stumbling forward, trying to yank her away from the old screen door.

You’d fallen victim to the loose metal grate too many times to count. The worst you’d gotten were a few cuts on your fingers that burned like a bitch. The fleshy part of Ellie’s forearm was headed straight for it though.

Ellie stumbled onto the porch, the terrible burning sensation in her arm not even registering.

“I-I’m so sorry,” She rasped out, eyes wide. Her cheeks were bright red all the way up to her ears.

Blood was dripping down to her fingers and splattering on the wooden deck, but she couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in her ears. Her whole body felt feverish, so the fresh blood went completely unnoticed.

You were covering up your chest with one hand as you hurried out onto the porch after her, using your free arm to grab her and haul her blabbering form inside.

“I-I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to. . . I think you have the wrong idea about me. Honest, I was going to tell you eventually, but I-” Ellie wasn’t straight, and it would be unfair of her to ogle at you under false pretenses.

It was hard to say anything though when you were rushing her into the kitchen. Ellie could barely keep up with you, stumbling a bit. Your eyes were wide for some reason. Maybe you were understanding where all of this was going. Maybe you were religiously straight, and she’d just ruined any possibility of a friendship. Had you noticed her staring? Holy fuck, of course you did.

“I’m a lesbian-” “You’re bleeding all over the place!”

You both went silent, staring at each other with wide eyes. Ellie’s gaze on your face faltered, and slowly she looked down at her arm, where you were currently keeping a firm grip. Your knuckles were practically white you were holding her so tightly. The athletic woman could understand why now. She wasn’t just bleeding but bleeding.

She was used to injuring herself. Ellie and Joel were outdoorsy people. She grew up learning to fish, hunt, and live off of the land. Which meant she had fallen out of a million trees, stabbed herself a thousand times, and has had more near death experiences than she’d care to admit. Her survival training should kick in. . . but it wasn’t. 

Because your boobs were still directly in her face.

Honestly, there was no other way she’d rather die. It would take her a few hours to bleed to death from a cut like this, even if she had sliced clean through a vein. Maybe, if she were lucky, you’d feel bad for her and take off the pants too. She wondered for a second whether you were wearing a matching pair of panties.

‘Please God- if you exist- I hope she is wearing matching panties. I’ll make up for every rotten thing I’ve ever done if I could just. . .’

“Hospital.” You croaked, your lips going pale.

Ellie finally noticed the vein in your throat pounding away. Your eyes were beginning to well up with tears too. The woman swallowed thickly and painfully tore her attention off of your chest.

“I’m okay. I’m not in any pain. Let me see if I can wrap it up and stop the bleeding. I’ll drive myself to the hospital if I need to.” Her voice was steady. Her profusely bleeding wound was the only thing she felt certain and safe about in this situation.

“Don’t be stupid, Ellie,” You shook your head quickly, disappearing out of the kitchen. “I’m taking Marley to my mom’s house! Give me two minutes!” You sounded like you were on the opposite side of the house.

The front door opened and closed before Ellie could protest. All she could do was stand over the sink, her shaky hand reaching for paper towels in an attempt to wipe up what looked to be a murder scene on the tiled floor. She was bleeding all in your sink too, the smell of iron thick in the air. The blood wasn’t clotting, and it looked nowhere close to stopping. She twisted her forearm around, wincing when she finally noticed the cut. It was clean- deep. If you had the supplies at home, she could just stitch herself up here. . . but Ellie had a feeling that she’d terrify you if she tried that.

So. . . the hospital was the only choice.

You’d tossed a shirt over your head so quickly that you hadn’t even seen what it was. Your red converse slapped against the pavement as you ran across the street, Marley bouncing on your hip, babbling excitedly in your ear. You silently thanked the heavens that your daughter was a habitually happy baby and wasn’t feeding off of your anxiety.

You were nearly in tears by the time that you made it to your mother’s house. She answered the door almost immediately, her hair held up with chopsticks atop her head. She smiled sweetly at Marley, who held her arms open for her grandmother.

“What on earth is going on, baby-” She paused as she noticed the blood on your hands. “W-What. . .”

You shook your head, already stepping off of the porch. “I-It’s not mine. My friend accidentally sliced her arm open. I have to take her to the hospital. Can you watch Marley for me? Just until I get home.”

You knew your mother would agree. You were already running down the street, her hurried “of course” getting lost in the wind that breezed by your ears. Your hair was a mess, your cheeks felt hot, and you knew that you were crying.

Because of course you were.

Tonight was ruined, and it was all your fault. The pot roast that you had put on early this morning tasted perfect, the house was spotless, and Marley had actually gone down today for her two o’clock nap. This dinner had been terribly important to you. It wasn’t until you were stumbling up the steps of your own porch that you finally realized how much weight you’d put on this stupid little get together.

Ellie might not even be attracted to you. You could be reading the situation all wrong, but you were hoping that you could have a chance at love. Didn’t you deserve it? You tried and you tried for everyone else aside from yourself, and this was the first time you’d done something selfish in years.

The girl of your dreams was standing in your kitchen, practically gushing blood in your stainless steel sink, and you’d blown your chance at happiness. Your version of perfect was never going to be enough for anyone. Because you were broke with little to no education. . . and a child that couldn’t even spell her own name yet.

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes as you rounded the corner.

“Remind me to fix that door the next time I’m here.” Ellie wasn’t looking at you, which you were thankful for. She was too busy holding a wad of paper towels against the wound.

Your heart squeezed uncomfortably in your chest.

Next time. There was going to be a “next time”.

Ellie followed your gentle guidance out to your car, begrudgingly getting in the passenger seat. She felt guilty that you had to drive her all the way into town. That. . . and the fact that she probably traumatized your child, what with all the blood. You fumbled with the radio, trying to find a station that she might like.

“I like this song.” Ellie said calmly, and what do you know. . . your hand dropped back into your lap.

The car plummeted into silence, Depeche Mode playing softly over the speakers as she watched the sun finally drop behind the horizon, bathing the two of you in a blue twilight glow. Ellie was very familiar with Jackson.

It would be at least twenty minutes until you made it to the nearest Urgent Care. So she leaned back in the seat and tightened her grip on her arm.

“Can I see you again after this? Or. . . I understand if what I said earlier makes you uncomfortable.” Your silence was making her feel on edge.

Ellie had single handedly ruined dinner. She had a talent for ruining things, actually. Ellie Williams was the kind of person that should live away from other people. All she needed was a backpack and a hunting knife, and she’d feel safe. Safer than she would in a neighborhood full of people, really. Wild animals, deadly or not, were predictable. Bears and wolves attack, so you’ve gotta intimidate them. If all else fails, aim for the head.

Ellie couldn’t read you, and that scared her. Terrified her actually, because for some reason she was certain that being turned down by you would break her significantly more than any other rejection ever had. It would be the kind of pain that kept you in bed for days, overthinking every decision that had gotten you to that point. She didn’t want to be old and alone, thinking about the girl that she’d liked in her youth. It pained Ellie to even think about forgetting the exact color of your eyes, or the natural softness that your voice possessed.

Ellie didn’t know you well enough to be in love with you yet. . . but give her a few weeks, and she knew that she’d be a goner.

It wasn’t that you were the only person available. You weren’t in her friend group, so dating you wasn’t just what should be the natural progression of things. This wasn’t a small campus crush doomed to fail. Ellie hadn’t stopped thinking about you ever since you’d first walked into Tommy’s restaurant.

“Do you think I’m homophobic or something?” You spoke up, shooting her a small smile from where you sat.

“I mean. . . we live in Wyoming.” Ellie trailed off, but her lips turned up as you began to laugh.

“Yeah, you do have a point there.” Your shoulders began to slouch, an audible sigh of relief escaping you. “I was scared you wouldn’t want to see me again after this.” You admitted.

Ellie didn’t strike you as the type of person that liked to feel vulnerable, so you owed her some embarrassing truths. Even if it ended up mortifying you.

“I’ve had at least ten concussions in my life. Fifteen stitches is child's play.” She used the hand that wasn’t currently leaking blood to wave your worry off, sinking deeper into the old seat of your car. “Uh-” She sat up quickly, turning her head to look at the road that you’d just driven past.

“I think we should have made that turn-” “I’m a lesbian.”

Ellie’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, her neck nearly popping with the force that she used to look at your face. You’d sucked your bottom lip in between your teeth nervously, but your eyes were locked on the road.

“I know a shortcut. Relax, I’m not kidnapping you.” You added, turning onto a dirt road that she’d never seen before.

The hand that you had resting on your thigh was beginning to shake. You balled it into a tight fist, hoping she hadn’t noticed. That was the first time you’d ever said it outloud. Ellie was the first person you’d ever told about your sexuality, and you felt. . . liberated. And scared shitless.

“I’m not exactly too focused on the creepy backroads right now.” She mumbled, still staring at you.

The buttons on your dashboard were casting all sorts of shadows on your lovely face. Your eyelashes were so thick, and she was suddenly very aware of the fact that you’d put on makeup for her.

And oh god.

She really didn’t have a gaydar, because holy shit this was a date. She should have listened to Jesse and gotten you flowers. She should have put more effort into her appearance- slapped some clear mascara on at the very least.

If she wasn’t bleeding all over the white dish towel that you had wrapped around her arm, then she would have told you to put your car in park. The urge to kiss you was hurting her more than the gaping wound did. She bounced her leg, trying to distract herself from the aching need that was gnawing at the pit of her stomach.

“I mean. . . I’ve never been with a woman before, but all I know is that I’ve never liked guys. Not even a little bit.” You were spilling your guts now, and you couldn’t even stop it.

You’d been waiting to tell someone all of this since middle school. You were practically shaking like a leaf. It felt good to say all of it though, even if you were setting yourself up to get hurt.

Ellie thought back to what Jesse had said about lesbians having children. Never once had Ellie felt the need to force herself to sleep with a man to appear normal. Instead she just. . . hadn’t shown any interest in anyone. She was sure that Joel thought that she was asexual when she was growing up.

You. . . you had done something that had felt wrong to you, just so that others wouldn’t see you differently. Ellie wasn’t the type to get emotional, but she found her eyes getting a bit misty. Her small nose wrinkled a bit as she tried to fight the feeling.

“You’ve never even kissed a woman?” Ellie asked, finally recognizing the road that they were on. They were close to the emergency room. Too close, actually. She was hoping for a few more moments alone with you.

“No.” You were mortified to admit it, but you needed to.

You pulled into the parking lot and threw the car into park. That was enough embarrassment for one day. The sooner you could get her seen by a doctor, the sooner you could silently begin to come up with a plan to save tonight.

“How ‘bout I kiss you,” Her warm breath was on your cheek. You let out a small gasp and turned your head, eyes widening as you realized that she was leaning over the armrest, her hand gripping the back of your seat. “And then you’ll know for sure. It’s just a test.”

If God existed, Ellie knew that her being gay wasn’t the reason she’d for sure be sent to hell. She’d physically hurt a lot of people. She’d been expelled from just about every school she’d ever been in. For a while there, she and Joel were moving state to state for what felt like every school semester. She was sharp tongued and knew how to really lash out at others. She had two very capable, very dangerous hands. . . and she hadn’t been afraid to use them.

And here she was, using your own inexperience as a way to kiss you. She was desperate though. No matter how fucked up this tactic was, she would never come to regret it. You could rip her heart straight out of her chest for all she cared.

Ellie wanted you in every conceivable way.

She’d be your best friend if that was the only thing you needed from her. She’d fuck you every day of the week until you finally got bored of her and called her away. She’d wake up early just to make those pancakes your daughter loved in the mornings. . . All you had to do was say the word.

She was yours.

“What if,” Ellie could feel your breath fan over her lips. Her eyes fluttered, but she somehow managed to keep them open. “What if you don’t like it?”

“I will.” Ellie nodded gently, wishing she had two good hands to hold you with.

You were the one to press your lips to hers. You knew what you were doing, which partially shattered her heart into a thousand tiny pieces. Ellie wanted to be selfish with you. She wanted to be your first everything. She silently cursed whoever had come before her, but her brain shut off completely when she felt your hand move up to cup her cheek. The ear ringing from earlier resumed in full force the second your lips began moving against hers, your warm tongue brushing against her lower lip. Her grip on the back of your seat loosened, and instead she moved it to the base of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer to her.

She was in control of herself. She had kept the fact that the two of you were in a very public parking lot in mind.

Until the second you sighed into her open mouth. Game over. She was ruined.

Utterly ruined.

Her bloody hand reached over and yanked the key out of the ignition, fumbling to place it on the center console before she started pulling you over arm rest. She needed the weight of you on her lap. She needed pressure- sensation. She needed. She needed. She needed.

“How tinted are your windows?” She mumbled against your lips, her strong hands gripping your thighs so that she could help you straddle her.

You’d never actually been turned on by any of your sexual partners in the past. You usually just grinned and beared it, then laid awake at night wondering why on earth you weren’t like other girls.

All the two of you had done was make out, and your legs were already quivering. You were dripping wet, and was far too distracted by Ellie’s very pink, very kissed lips to think about the fact that you were wearing jeans.

“T-They’re legal, if that’s what you’re asking.” You could barely think, your hands already tangling back into Ellie’s hair.

She didn’t have time to whine out a complaint, because you were so pliant in her hands. You were this weak little mewling thing on top of her, and all she could do was grip onto you. Had either of you actually known pleasure before? Because Ellie was positive she’d never felt anything like this. She wasn’t even being touched, but she was certain that she could climax just like this.

Her hands gripped your waist, then brushed up your stomach. She didn’t ask for permission, which she’d apologize relentlessly for later. You weren’t stopping her though.

If anything, you were the one that had started the touching. You were currently stretching out the neck of her t-shirt, one hand gripping her chin and the other one spread out on her back, playing with the straps of her sports bra. You gasped into her mouth again as Ellie’s hand finally made contact with your breast. She remembered the way you looked in that bra earlier. Remembered how your tits had bounced- looked like they were practically going to burst over the thin bit of fabric-

“Oh, fuck.” Ellie cursed, hips moving upwards before she could calm herself.

“Doctor-” Your voice came out in a desperate little whine, and Ellie’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, her hips lifting up against yours again, the friction practically causing her to jump straight out of her skin.

“I’m- I’m not bleeding as bad anymore. Please. Please.” Ellie was pushing your bra up and over your breasts, lifting your shirt up with her bloody hand just so that she could look.

She’d fuck you right there in the back of the hospital parking lot. She’d never wanted anyone this badly before. This was just as new to her as it was for you. This felt. . . this all felt different.

Because you were touching her back. You weren’t some straight girl looking to turn a boy on by telling him that you’d been with a lesbian before.

You were gay, and you were interested in her. Ellie felt like she had died and gone to heaven, because this was everything that she’d ever wanted. . . minus the wound.

It was her begging that had you leaning back on your calves, untucking her shirt so roughly that she questioned whether or not the two of you would have to fight for dominance. She tossed her shirt into the drivers side seat, smiling when your lips were back on hers the second she was topless.

Your hands were cold when you pushed them underneath the tight fabric of her sports bra. You took advantage of that, feeling her nipples hardening against your palms. Her muscles tightened in her shoulders as you pinched them between your pointer and middle fingers, gripping the small breasts a little tighter, wanting to feel the weight of them.

She moaned against your lips, eyes clenching shut so hard that fireworks exploded behind her lids.

It was too late now.

Ellie was on a mission to make you cum.

She felt guilty that the two of you hadn’t even been on a first official date yet, and here she was, planning to finger fuck you in a parking lot- but could anyone really blame her?

“I’m gonna fuck you,” Ellie pulled away from your lips, instantly recognizing that this wasn’t her asking for consent. She flinched, shaking her head gently. “Is that okay?” She rephrased it, moving a hand down to the waistband of your jeans. She gave it a gentle tug, letting you know that she was serious. She couldn’t stop herself.

“Y-Your arm, Ellie.” You moved to grab her injured forearm, but she gripped your wrist before you could.

“Let’s say I stop now. Even if we did that, I won’t get seen for another hour by a doctor. I’m going to sit there and think about this,” She cupped your sex in her hand, the tips of her fingers brushing over your clothed entrance. “The entire time. I’ll stop if you climb out, but if we stay in here any longer I’m not going to be able to control myself.”

You bit your bottom lip again, your eyes narrowing in concern. Ellie wasn’t bleeding as badly as she was before, but she for sure needed a few stitches. She didn’t appear to be in any pain though. If anything, she seemed more focused on you. You didn’t want to kill the moment, but shouldn’t you-

Ellie began fidgeting with the top button on your jeans, and that was all it took. You wordlessly climbed into the backseat, smiling widely as you heard her scrambling to follow you.

You thanked all that was holy that you’d taken Marley’s car seat out earlier that morning to give to your mother since she was watching her tomorrow. You had the entire backseat, and despite the fact that the two of you were still out in the open, you felt a little more hidden now that the two of you were ducked down.

Ellie was already taking full advantage of the added bit of privacy, the hem of your shirt already up to your neck. She was pushing your bra back up and over your tits, eager to really look at you.

She wasn’t sure what this meant for either of you, and she didn’t feel like ruining the moment by complicating anything. Ellie liked you, and she was willing to wait until you felt the same about her too-

Was she being overly self conscious and stupid right now? Wasn’t this. . . wasn’t this proof enough of how you felt about her? You’d been the one to take the reins during this entire friendship. You’d asked for her number and invited her over for dinner. All Ellie had done was kiss you, only after you let her know that you were interested.

Ellie moved her lips from your mouth down your neck, pushing her hands under your hips so that she could move down your chest. She paused though, looking up at you worriedly.

“Am I going to hurt you if I suck on them?” She wasn’t sure how nursing works. She didn’t exactly have an overflow of women in her life to tell her about those sorts of things.

You laughed, shaking your head quickly. You were panting softly, your cheeks deliciously flushed. “No, but I can still produce milk, so be caref-”

“Okay, that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.” Ellie had to brace herself, green eyes fully zoned into your beautiful, full breasts. So. . . if she sucked hard enough-

“Is this when you tell me that you have a mommy kink?” You asked playfully, starting to sit up.

“I didn’t,” She assured you, shooting you a small smile. “Until now. Lay back down.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, but you practically swallowed the noise when she finally closed her lips around your nipple, her hands making quick work of your jeans. They were unbuttoned and pushed down off of your hips before you could say anything. She removed her mouth from your breasts long enough to look at your panties.

And if god was real, they had answered her wish.

Because holy fuck you matched. Of course you did. She bit onto her lower lip hard, closing her eyes for a second so that she didn’t rip them right off of you. They were cute, and she wanted to see you in them again. Ellie wasn’t very good at being gentle in any aspect of her life.

Especially with you, it would seem.

She wanted to be mean to you all of a sudden. Leave bruises and marks to be explored later. She wanted to bite into your soft flesh and see just how easy it would be to leave hickies, but she couldn’t.

So she needed to breathe.

She leaned back up, pressing her lips against yours. She brushed her fingers against your thigh at first, letting you get used to the idea of her touching you. She desperately wanted to become more than acquainted with your cunt, but she needed to be gentle with you. You wrapped your arms around her tightly, your bare chest pressing against her clothed breasts. She wished she was naked. God, she regretted not being able to do this in bed. She’d gladly bleed to death if it meant that she could take her time with you.

She wanted to press every inch of her body against yours, but now wasn’t the time for that.

Her fingers grazed over your folds, and if her eyes weren’t closed then she was sure that they would have bulged straight out of her skull.

You were dripping.

Pride and possessiveness threatened to crush her ribs as she gathered up your slick, using it to rub a lazy circle around your clit. You jerked against her, but she didn’t let you pull your lips off of hers. She swallowed the strangled moan, eyes fluttering open briefly so that she could look at you.

You were precious.

She continued to draw circles, knowing that it was what she liked personally. She switched up the pace though, moving her arm to get better leverage. This time you were able to pull away from her, letting out a cry, your eyes opening so that you could look at Ellie’s face.

She was beautiful. Even with that predatorial look on her face, you couldn’t ignore the freckles and flushed cheeks. There was something so oppositional about her- how dominant but unassuming she looked. Here she was, moving you around like you weighed no more than a doll.

And then she sunk two of her fingers inside of you. The stretch was glorious, but it was the look on her face that had your walls fluttering around her. Pink lips parted to reveal her clenched teeth. Like she was damn near close to biting right into you. She was holding herself back fucking you like this. You weren’t sure what that meant, but your eyes were rolling to the back of your head the more you thought about it.

And then she brushed her thumb against your clit, her fingers nearly bruising your cervix as she continued to thrust them into you.

Your name escaped her lips then. She said it like a prayer. Like it was a promise.

Ellie curled her fingers inside of you, pressing against a spot that your much smaller hands couldn’t reach.

“Oh, fuck!” Your eyes were tearing up, hands fumbling around for anything to grip. You needed to hold something in order to ground yourself, because you were trying hard not to get the two of you arrested for indecent exposure.

Ellie was busy watching it all. She was sitting on her calves, greedily turning her gaze from your fucking gorgeous expressions to your glistening pussy, which was currently swallowing her fingers. Your walls were satiny soft, and she could feel them flutter around her as she continued hitting the same spot that got such a loud reaction from you earlier.

You were quivering under her, hands moving from the carseat, up to your breasts, and then your hair. You yanked at your locks, the pleasure practically too much. Ellie was this beautiful, vicious thing on top of you. It was obvious that she wanted to wrench out every bit of pleasure from you, even if you said it was too much. Even if you told her to stop. There was a glint in her eyes that told you she wouldn’t be able to. She was just as hungry for your release as you were.

“Grip onto me, baby.” She moved to lay back on top of you, adding a finger for extra measure.

Your hands were at her back immediately, fingernails digging into her freckled flesh. She pressed her face into your neck, enjoying your floral scent- moaning at the pain and the pleasure that was building in her own abdomen. She almost laughed- finding her own impending release comical.

Because there was no way she was about to prematurely cum because she was touching you, a girl that she was pretty much head over heels for. The tightening in her abdomen was familiar though, and all she could do was lamely moan your name against your throat.

“You’re not gonna hurt me. Hold me tighter.” She mumbled, her hand moving quicker and quicker, the sounds echoing around your car bordering on illegal.

You were the hottest thing on the entire planet. She was sure of it. Her hands shook as your nails dug in deeper, to the point that she was positive she was bleeding. She wanted a physical reminder of what happened tonight. Scars and all. Whatever she could take with her later on in life, especially if this was a one time thing.

She needed every physical and mental reminder that you were willing to give her. So Ellie moved her face so that she was looking at you, even when her own pleasure was building to the point where her own knees quivered, finding it hard to hold up her own weight.

She watched you unravel. Felt your cunt practically swallow her fingers as you tightened around them. Your back arched, eyes pinched closed as your cherubic lips parted in a silent scream.

And then Ellie followed right after you.

She leaned her head against your chest, hips jerking forward as she continued to work you through the waves of your own pleasure, trying not to get drowned by her own.

“D-Did you. . .” You breathlessly started to ask, your big doe eyes practically the size of saucers.

“I promise, t-this is the first time this has ever happened.” Ellie admitted, feeling a touch of shame.

You wanted to take a few minutes to calm your pounding heart, but the sight of the bloody towel on the floorboard had you clambering to sit up, moving your bra and shirt back into their rightful places. Ellie was still trying to catch her breath, the muscles in her shoulders still twitching from her own release. You opened up the car door after snatching up the keys, and for a second the auburn haired girl felt terrified.

She bit her lower lip, wiping her dripping fingers off on her pants before grabbing her shirt and climbing out of the car. Alright. . . so this was it, right? You knew you were a lesbian now, and she would be left in the dust. It wasn’t such a bad arrangement, really. She couldn’t even be mad. 

Technically, if she really thought about it, you’d been just as much her first as she had been yours. 

Her boots crunched against the gravel as she followed you into the hospital, her heart still pounding in her chest. She shrugged on the shirt as she walked, careful not to tug at the wound in any way. 

Ellie’s forehead was beaded with sweat, and she nearly laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. 

She’d never gotten her heart broken by a gay girl before, and here it was. For some reason. . . she knew with certainty that this was going to hurt ten times worse than any of the other ones had. 

But then the hand that wasn’t sliced open from elbow to wrist was being gripped. 

Your fingers intertwined with hers.

“I’m sorry to break it to you babe, but you’re definitely a lesbian.” Ellie told you with a small smile, opening the door to the lobby for you.  

“Oh, for sure.”  

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why not to buy tlou2 remastered (please read)

[drivestraight]

☕️ norstappen

preemptively making a cut because i know i'm going to write an embarrassingly long treatise

first of all... i said this earlier this morning but literally baby's first f1 ship... let's go on a norstappen journey.

from 2020... my gamer boyfriends

the infamous call of duty stream where max fell down the hole lkdjf;lkdsajf. also lando who used to be a part of redline before the red bull association (before max was even part of it!), lando who spontaneously joined the imola stream, because he could. because he's just. red bull adjacent tbh. thinking about all the times last year red bull congratulated lando on his podiums. max's team personally congratulating him. like they're close close.

also. that one time in 2020 when lando was calling a bunch of drivers and max was one of the only ones who picked up (thinking about carlos not having lando's number saved and asking who it was) 💔

lando who gets along with baby P... max's FAMILY.

and like. this. the fact that lando's only 2 years younger than max but they looked like. This.

and the way that! lando has always been a max defender:

like they're friends friends. real friends.

and then whole you should see us in monaco. WHAT GOES DOWN IN MONACO??? COME ONNNNN

little gay boy with his hands over little lando norris...

it endears me how at the start of 2021 lando was always pretty vague about max vs. lewis because #british. but then by the end of the year he was fully like. yeah go max!!! thinking about how before dando got close they both clearly liked max more than each other...

and we can never forget. Congrats World Champ. I got you, don't cry:

and lando who genuinely goes out with max outside of races.

also their shared wag martin garrix.

and their??? shared matching necklaces with KYGO?

it's so deeply funny to me how these two are like. in the DJ-in crowd. genuinely deep in it.

like they just share so many friends and genuinely seem to really like and support each other. max who literally looks the happiest on the podium when lando is there. we cannot forget how happy max was last summer when lando was literally always on the podium with him. the little jokes about the broken trophy, the british grand prix, how happy he was that lando was there with him, lando's surprise front row at the spanish GP, max doing a double take.

lando is literally max's favorite driver it kills me. lando wishing max a happy bday on instagram, because they're close like that. max who called lando his best friend on the grid and lando getting all snappy about it dj;lfjsa kills me. the whole: "friends again?" "we're always friends."

max and max and lando. Always Very important.

they're party friends. they lied about it being fewtrell's birthday so they can embarrass him with cake. they're grid friends. max genuinely believes that lando can win a world title, that lando's one of the best drivers on the grid ("28 race wins between us today" "i have to stock up before you start stealing them from me!"). they have such similar humors.

anyway. i think they really like each other.