#these two drive me insane they BREAK ME they HURT ME SM

[vacantgodling]

oc kiss week day 6 4: reach

i’m posting this out of order bc i had this finished first LMAO 💀 next one i’ll post is day 4 promise pff

WIP: the chronicles of lathsbury (tcol)

SHIP: erik soori (he/him, ranger) x un "dion" undershield (he/him, protector)

SUMMARY: dion knew it was his fault, but that didn't make it hurt less. the worst part was erik didn't blame him at all.

tw(s): major out of context spoilers, amputation (not in graphic detail, it's already been done) & traumatic limb loss

worldbuilding notes: erik and miona are both from diisai, which is an island to the west of terrae's mainland across the eastern sea (which is not east lmao). diisaians like themselves have a sort of highland (scottish) adjacent sounding accent, and because i like writing vernaculars, you'll see that make an appearance here. erik's accent is stronger than miona's because miona grew up in the capital of diisai while erik grew up in the highlands.

also sorry in advance for this this is so sad fr LMAO.

“I spoke wi’eh doctor.” Miona said. She wasn’t looking at him, or where Erik lay, deathly still on the hospital bed. His body was fully covered by blankets up to his chin, and his face didn’t look peaceful so much as he just looked like a corpse. If Dion knew Miona better, like Erik did, maybe he would’ve been able to read through whatever emotion her flat voice was trying to hide. He didn’t look at her either. Just kept staring at him like he had for the past week. She waited a long moment before she continued. 

“After he’s granted discharge, it's recommended ‘at he retire.” 

Another long beat passed. 

“He can’t.” Dion was surprised hearing his own voice—the last time he heard it like this was when Fia passed and. And. He sucked in a harsh breath through his nose; he couldn’t think about her. Not now, it would break him.

Miona whirled on him, her eyes suddenly blazing. “Can’t?!” Her voice was shrill. “He lost his fucking arm, you heartless piece o’ shit!” Guilt seared through Dion’s gut like he’d been fileted, and it was hard not to double over from the pain of it. “Th’ whole damn thing!” She screamed and Dion wished he could scream too. He knew! And it was his fault. Miona wasn’t done her tirade however. “Can you stop being so fucking selfish for once in yer damn life—”

“I know what he lost!” Dion finally growled, cutting her off. He could barely breathe around the nausea that gripped him like iron from the inside of his throat, strangling him with every word, but he pushed them out. “But you and I both know he won’t!” 

Miona glowered at him, grinding her teeth, knowing he was right but not wanting to admit it herself. She tried again. “Then convince ‘im! For pity’s sake, he can’t go on like this!” 

Dion turned away from her, and away from Erik no matter how much he needed to stare at him to make sure that he was there. “I can’t do that.” His voice was barely a puff of air; a wheeze.

If he was looking at Miona, he would’ve seen the way she tugged at her hair in frustration. “Ye’re the only one who can!” She choked on her words, tears welling up in her voice like an overflowing dam. “He’ll ne’er be able to shoot a bow again—don’t ye get it? And you know he won’t sit around and do paperwork all day!” 

“I’m not stupid.” Dion felt the stupid, useless tears that he hated to shed begin to trail down his dark cheeks and he pointedly kept his face turned away. That’s what was tearing him up—he knew that Erik was fucked over beyond repair and he fucking caused it.

The one thing Fia loved about Erik more than anything was his bow. The one thing that completed Erik, was that ridiculous thing, near as large as Dion’s own shield, at his side. He drew it with such a raw power in a way that was lost on the rangers of the mainland; a unique artform all of its own. And because of Dion it was ruined. He’d ruined Fia’s dream—as the last insult to her memory. He’d ruined Erik, as the final straw in the string of insults that Dion had taken at his character. The one man who never left him. The one man who coddled him, listened to him, cared for him even when he didn’t fucking deserve it—

“Get out o’eh way, ye stupid bastard!” 

Dion kept replaying the moment over and over in his mind. 

He had been so focused. So, angry, and reckless—Erik shouldn’t have had to cover his blind spot. Erik shouldn’t have known his blind spot… But logic reasoned that if anyone would’ve known it, Erik would. They’d been fighting together for… too long now. This was the price for that.

Both he and Miona were startled out of their argument by a shifting of the sheets. Of a loud, pained groan. 

“A’ll get th’ doctor!” Miona said. She rushed for the door, pausing for only a moment to look back at Dion. “But remember what Ah said. And don’t ye dare hurt him.”

Dion didn’t bother to deign what she said with a response. He was too busy falling to his knees by the bedside, grasping Erik’s trembling left hand in his own—what was left of him. 

He was forcibly moved from the bedside when the doctor rushed in.

It was another week before Erik awoke again. And in all that time, Dion stayed by his bedside. He tried to read, but his mind wouldn’t follow the words, but there was nothing else to do so he forced himself through passage after passage of drivel until it made his eyes burn and his head swim.

During that time, the room was constantly fluctuating with visitors: Miona came in nearly every day, and the barman—Papa, whatever his name, stopped by as well. The Diisiain they spoke rapidly between each other was too hushed for Dion to catch any of, but he noticed the forlorn look the burly man gave Erik when he finally ambled out. Cameron stopped by, and that archer his sister fancied, along with other people Dion hadn’t bothered to learn the names of. He’d never… realized how well liked Erik was. He’d been so focused on himself, his vengeance, his pain—its like he never even knew who Erik was. Is. He wasn’t dead. He had to keep telling himself that.

It was a sentiment proven true when Erik began to stir. Dion almost didn’t notice, given how quiet this awakening was compared to the previous outburst. His honey brown eyes were barely visible under his drooping lids, but visible enough for Dion to start when he said, all rasp, “Ne’er thought Ah’d see th’ day where ye’d voluntarily read somethin’, bubble boy.” 

The silly nickname that normally Dion hated constricted something fierce in his chest, and his heart stopped, before it began to hammer against his ribs. “You’re awake.” He said dumbly. “You’re actually awake.” 

“Fer better or worse.” Erik sighed heavily, so much that Dion could almost hear the creak of his bruised lungs. “Though Ah feel like th’ Lady o’ tha Universe sent th’ planet crashin’ down on me brow an’ knocked me clean oot. I feel awful.” Despite it, Erik chuckled and Dion felt his heart crash down to his stomach. How could he do this? How was he this endless well of optimism. When Fia died, Erik hadn’t shed a tear that Dion could see. Just held him, helped him bury her body—their bodies of the rest of their team. When Dion shunned his jokes and his cheer, he’d let it roll off of his shoulders without even blinking. He almost wanted to ask—what kept him cheerful when the world was cruel and heartless? But then Erik sat up on the bed. With some difficulty, Dion could add. The book he was reading fell from his lap as he lunged to reach Erik, helping him get to an upright position with a hand steadied on his back. The blanket dropped from his shoulders, and suddenly it was bared to the world. Bandaged; but enough that Dion felt the nausea of guilt arrest him again. Where Erik’s right arm should’ve been, there was nothing but a nub right at the shoulder. It was a clean break, like someone snapped it off like an icicle or chalk, and not the horribly mangled, jagged thing it had been when Dion and Jace managed to drag him to the hospital, already passed clean out from the pain. They must’ve had to amputate slightly further up, to salvage what they could… even if it wasn’t much. 

Aware of it, Erik stilled, and how he was turned obscured his expression from Dion. Without warning, his left arm came grasping at the place where his arm once was. 

“She’s really gone… Isn’t she?” Erik’s voice was threadbare. But surprisingly, he wasn’t the one who’d begun to cry.

When Dion didn’t give him an answer, Erik turned his head. The worried expression on his face was swimming in Dion’s vision.

“Oi… Ye… ye’re cryin’?” Erik looked about as lost as Dion felt. When he tried to open his mouth, no sound came out. “Ah…” Erik’s left hand reached out then hesitated, unsure. But, steeling his resolve, he reached out all the way, and grasped Dion by the front of his shirt. It only took one tug to pull Dion into his embrace, and any other day, any other time Dion would’ve shoved him off but now… His arms just felt too weak. 

Against his hair, he felt a brush of Erik’s lips. 

“Ah didn’t think ye’d cry.” He said, hushed. The lips pressed into Dion’s hair again, this time more purposeful and it hit Dion so sharply that he felt dizzy. Despite the fact that Dion caused his injury. Despite the fact that Dion couldn’t do anything but growl and scowl and give him grief for his troubles to be friendly, that no matter what happened between them, Erik was always there whenever Dion fell. He couldn’t bear it, he couldn’t bear it. 

“If Ah thought Ah could’a gone fer me bow, I woulda but…” Erik tried to laugh but it came out watery and broken. “An’ now… Ah’m ne’er gonna shoot me bow again.” He laughed again, but this one was more pained and Dion pulled away, if only to look into Erik’s eyes. Tears had begun pouring down his face like a river’s spring flood.

Dion wished he knew what to say.

“.... Ah promised meself that Ah wouldn’t regret it if ye were safe.” Erik whispered, and then suddenly he was breaking. It was all Dion could do but pull Erik into his chest as he wailed, his tears wrenching and racking his whole, too thin body with them. All Dion could do was hold him and mirror the gesture; pressing the most delicate of kisses to Erik’s head as he fell apart.

[according2thelore]

i just want to say its insane that this is the best blog AND the best ao3 account. unfair. also i scrolled here forever and came across that art of priest sam and now i'm thinking about what if sam ran off to join the priesthood if he didn't get into stanford...... i don't even know if that's a thing in the 21st century but omg.... dean breaking into a church rectory to steal him back from god....... calling him father to be a dick but also bc...

HOLY SHIT????

um--thank you so much??? omg??? i'm crying?

the best is crazy, considering there are so many incredibly talented and hilarious bloggers that make up our community, and i'm so glad to be part of them! thank you!!!!!! i'm so honoured you like our blog and my fanfic!!! that means the world!!!!! <3 charlotte also says thank you sm!

and yes! priest!sam makes me bark like a fucking dog bc it makes sense! sam, at college, tormented by visions and unsure why walking past the stanford memorial church in the middle of the quad makes his feet burn.

whenever he blesses himself with holy water, it leaves faint red marks on his forehead for the rest of the day that he covers with his bangs. salt really seasons his food, and he can immediately tell if someone put it on his meal.

and he loves jess--he does, so much it hurts--but he can't live like this, not anymore. he applies to seminary school (you have to be at least twenty-five (or twenty-four if you get it waived) to become a priest but let's ignore that for now!) and only gets in because his local priest advocates for him to the diocese. for some reason, his application keeps getting lost, no matter how many times he turns it in. it just vanishes.

he doesn't know that what's inside of him is evil, yet, but he remembers looking at dean sometimes and having to look away because dean seemed bright, physically bright, and it hurt his eyes. he thought it was misplaced lust, that burning in his skin, but remembers that painting of galahad, of glorious light and purpose and purity and knows that he wants that.

he feels it, when he undergoes orders, the burning in his blood, his weak knees as he kneels on marble, like he's going to be sick, and he's overjoyed, because that must mean that he's being cleansed of every unholy thought, every unholy cell in his body. the holy oil they smear on his hands moves on its own into circles on his palms, quarter-sized dots that sizzle.

sam tucks his fingers into his palms and pretends that he can't see the similar wounds on the crucifix, the stigmata that are a garish red on christ turning into silver scars on sam's hands, scars that ache or burn when he cleans the holy vessels or touches the sacrament.

he gets assigned to the smallest church in the diocese. he's happy enough, and finds peace in the quiet, in connecting with the people in the parish and the spartan way of life--no distractions, no decorations, just a purpose, a holy purpose. he gets restless sometimes, the lack of mental stimulation driving him crazy, so he prays to god to remove this weakness in him. he prays to god when he sweeps the floor and when he organizes the soup kitchen donations and when he brushes his teeth.

he's closing up one night when he sees a man in one of the pews in the darkened sanctuary. he approaches slowly, and asks softly, 'can i help you?'

and the man doesn't turn around, when he says, 'i had a brother, once.' and sam fucking freezes in his steps because he dreams about this voice sometimes, dreams of this man's hands on him and knows that his job isn't done yet, know that he's not cleansed of all the rot inside of himself, because this man remains.

and dean's smile is liquid and oily when he turns around, and says, 'but now our family's got two fathers.'

and sam's lost, the second he looks into dean's eyes, the exact shade forgotten until this moment, and sam's feet ache in his shoes like they always do on church grounds--on hallowed ground--, and dean fucking glows, and sam can see the shadows he casts, and sam's eyes burn.

one of them is holy, one of them is approved by god.

and it's never been sam. it never will be.

god doesn't want him.

but dean does. dean always does.

goddamn this ran away with me. do i need to write a priest!sam fic?? much to think about. thank you for this lovely ask anon!!!! and thank you again for your kind words!!!!!! <3

happy wincest wednesday!

-lizzy

[kthvbear]

Jungkook explains, “And this,” he brings a hand to your cheek, squeezes your flesh between your fingers until you protest, “is my girlfriend.”

For a few moments, the screws in your head fall loose, a mechanic buzzing indicating a technical error. You realise that since your parents, you’ve never really introduced each other with the grand B-or-G-word until now.

lmaooo b-or-g word hahahah, also!!! you're telling me NAMJOON is his boss- rid 😭😭😭 pls, the best bro-ship ever; namkook always slays 😫😫

“Keep praising this man,” you tease, looking back to your boyfriend and shuffling his hair (to which he clicks his tongue), “he kinda likes it. Won’t shut up about it.”

omg if this isnt the sweetest repay istg ughhhh. i can totallyyyy imagine jungkook talking about joon the whole time 😂

And the fact that Namjoon noticed within a minute of observing the two of you… says quite a lot.

namjoon the explorer observer.

He breathes against your face; sighs, his quiet voice telling you, “Not yet.”

rid seriously wtf, my patient-o-meter is slowily exploding 🤨🤨 hurrryyyyyy with the reason I WANNA KNOWWW

That you’re in love with him?

oh god, dying to see kooks reaction if oc really said that. damn.

Insanity clouding his mind, he smiles against your cheek, whispering, “Just. You drive me crazy… my gorgeous girl.”

SHYT UP UOU 2 ARE DRIVING ME CRAZYYYY 😭😭😭🤯 JUST CONFESS ALREADG FFS

When you wake up the next morning, his blanket is on the floor and your backs turned towards each other.

why do i think jk is acting cold tho...

“But,” you still argue, gulping, “there’s still something you’re not telling me. When you showed me the tattoo, you still didn’t look entirely happy. And you didn’t last night.” You wait, discouraged when his expressions fall. “Right now… you don’t either.”

DONT BREAK MY HEART IM FUCKING SERIOUS OKAY????!!#?#!#

Through all the hesitation, he smiles, biting his lip before he drops the bomb, “It’s about your mom.”

?????

“He said— he said he was looking for information… or anything against me. Not for the newspaper, but for your mother. Just anything. He took pictures of Ria,” Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head. The smirk on his face is ingenuine, heartbreaking. “My goddamn cousin…”

omfg, at this point my hatred for mom is just unbelievable. just how much of a bad mother does she want to be? oc is her freaking daughter, she should feel ashamed of doing so 😞 and god, i was so scared of nara entering the scene...

The wrinkles on her forehead deepen, thoughts of lawsuits undoubtedly circling her mind. It pains you that this is probably still a bigger worry to her than your breaking heart.

yeah, it hurts me too. ugh, why tf is she so selfish

Pause. Then, “Are you seriously going to file a lawsuit? Against your own mother, are you insane?”

im scared rid PICK ME UP PLS

“I…” Jungkook hesitates. And then, he doesn’t deny your statement, but answers, “I endure it for you.”

STOPPPP THATS SO BOYFRIEND OF HIM 😭😭😭 MAYBE MORE THAN BF

this chapter was such a rollercoaster- i swear. it was just truly amazing. i appreciate your writing skills sm, and i'm just blown away at this point... i could feel and imagine whatever you wrote, yk? u're an awesome writer and idek what else to say cause im so amazed 🙌 ily so much rid <333333 ❤️❤️

colour me in: the canvas | jjk (m)

Summary: Jungkook comes back to you with a suitcase full of secrets and hurdles – and once he opens it, you’re left tongue-tied and bewildered.

➳ pairing:Jungkook x reader ➳ rating: 18+ ➳ genre: fwb/f2l, fake dating; angst, fluff, smut ➳ warnings: artist jk actually this time!, old secrets revealed and new ones made smh, deep talks, paparazzi mention, oc’s mother is just not cool, another member cameo!, crying and fighting, domesticity <3, angst ahead 😵‍💫; explicit sexual content: consent, mentions of bdsm, body painting 😭, dirty talk, bit of edging, oral (f. & m. receiving), throat fucking, fingering and handjob, body paint on his lips…, dry humping, unprotected sex, breast play, some biting, such disgusting fluff it made me sick, again… such deep jk moans, showering/washing up together…., multiple orgasms, aftercare, the moment after <3 ➳ wc: 22.8k ➳ a/n: ahhh okay, so – i hope you guys like this chapter after all the fun theorising and suspense (and after all those months!), and that it lives up to your expectations !! it was so fun to write, though. always thankful for beta’ing @missgeniality​​, you’re the bestest 🤍 as always, don’t forget to drop by in my inbox and let me know what you think; it means a lot !! ➳ listen to:with love by christina grimmie |full playlist 🤍

SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST MASTERLIST | WIPs

“Shouldn’t we get up at some point? It must be noon.”

Keep reading

[osaemu]

hii sorry if it’s too much of a bother but could you write more sadistic dazai because i am feral for that man 😭😭 thankss i love you’re writing sm !!

.ೃ࿐ SADISM X DAZAI OSAMU

contents: fem!reader. sadism (wow!), teeny bit of blood play, praise + degradation, pet names (darling, pretty girl) prior edging, prior overstim, biting, cunniligus, dacryphilia, choking-ish (?)

sex with dazai is hell.

"seeing you covered in your own blood drives me insane," dazai groans, tilting his head down and swiping his tongue along the open bite on your neck. 

at this point, you can barely form coherent words. all you can think about is how much everything hurts — the bite on your neck, the scratches on your back, the bruises on your thighs, and that's not even the complete list.

dazai reaches up and runs his thumb along your cheek, and when he pulls his hand away, there's red staining his pale skin. "oh, darling, you've never looked more beautiful than you do right now."

right now's one of your exceedingly rare breaks. usually, dazai likes to edge you for hours on end, and whenever he finally lets you cum, he doesn't stop — he'll just keep overstimulating you until you can barely keep your eyes open. 

even if you beg and plead for him to stop, dazai'll just coo "i thought you wanted to cum, hmm? you little liar."

but even dazai knows that his dolls need time to recover if they're to be at their very best for him every night. which is why tonight, after a particularly painful round, dazai's allowing you a momentary breather before he plunges back into your aching pussy.

actually, momentary is being generous.

not even two minutes after he decided to give you a break from getting railed, he's at it again, laughing gleefully as you claw at his back, once again begging him to be gentle.

"shh, darling," he purrs, pressing his lips to your neck and biting down on the still-raw wound he left from earlier. when he feels you flinch, another laugh bubbles out of his blood and cum-soaked lips. 

"s' that hurt?" dazai cooes, voice laced with faux sympathy. a wide smile blooms across his face as he feels you tremble underneath him, and he lets out a long moan. 

"fuckkk, this feels good," he groans, readjusting himself and scooting down so he's face-level with your thighs. "where should i make you bleed next?" he murmurs, mostly to himself. 

dazai leans in and studies the bare skin of your trembling thighs and languidly runs his tongue over your warm, throbbing pussy. "fuck, maybe i'll put you in a wheelchair tomorrow, yeah? how'd you feel about that, pretty girl?"

well, you don't really get a chance to respond before his fingernails are painfully digging into your thighs and his tongue is all the way inside you. 

whenever any part of dazai's inside you, it becomes that much harder to think. and dazai's tongue always works wonders on your senses — the wet sounds, the feel of his tongue inside you, even the way dazai looks in between your legs, face covered with your cum. 

he moans, and the vibration of the touch makes you flinch. dazai makes a sound that sounds disapproving and bites down — hard.

"dazai, fuckkk, please," you gasp, arching your back and shaking like a leaf. "i-i can't—"

at that, dazai actually looks up from his meal and scoffs. "i-i cant," he mocks, leering at you condescendingly. "sure you can, baby. just need a little—more—motivation!" he punctuates word with a bite to your inner thigh, each bite harder than the last. 

"oh, for god's sake, stop whining," dazai grumbles when you still continue blabbering about how much pain you're in. "aw, are you crying too? how cute."

dazai thinks it's even cuter how you wail and cry like a baby when he shoves his dick back inside you, fucking you hard enough to make the tears trailing down your face turn into full-blown waterfalls.

"you're so pretty when you're crying," dazai murmurs, pressing his lips to yours. he lingers for a long time — long enough to sap you of what little breath you had until you're weakly thrashing underneath him, desperate for a breath of air.

when he finally pulls away and lets you catch your breath, dazai sits back and wonders why he's so addicting to your pain and suffering. 

he knows that it's morally deplorable — what kind of boyfriend gets off to their girlfriend in pain, covered in a mixture of blood and tears? 

but fuck, seeing you as you are right now — the very image of blood, sex, and tears — is enough to wash all of dazai's qualms away. 

in his eyes, you're the most beautiful when you're entirely at his mercy. 

[nationalharryleague]

One Day

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Genre: Drunk!Harry Fluff!

Word count: 2K

A/N: Hi all! This is some drunk boyfriend harry fluff that I just love sm. It’s based off of “One Day” by Catie Turner (I highly recommend listening to it!!) More of my writing can be found in my masterlist and I would love to hear what you think in my ask! Thank you so much for reading! 

***

Harry was the life of the party when he wanted to be. He knew how to let loose, with a tequila on the rocks in one hand and a beer in the other, ready to party until he (literally) dropped. He always ended up on some sort of elevated surface like a teenage girl, usually a kitchen island or an absurdly expensive coffee table, singing along to whatever music was playing, magically knowing every word to whatever came over the speakers. Sometimes he would get lost in the winding corridors of the massive mansions his friends lived in, taking a wrong turn in his enhibrated state and ending up somewhere he definitely wasn’t supposed to be. There was also one time he jumped off a (thankfully low) roof into the swimming pool below.

But usually, he was calm, cool, and collected; gently sipping on a single drink he would nurse for most of the night. The two of you liked to sit and watch during these parties, his hand settling securely on your waist, keeping you close to him and away from the chaos that unfolded before you. You would curl up on a couch somewhere and just watch it all play out like it was an observational study, often giving commentary and ranking people and their drunk dancing out of 10.

“I feel like we're the mean girls in the corner of the cafeteria who just sit and silently judge everyone around them,” you would giggle, nuzzling yourself further into his side.

“That’s because we are the mean girls in the corner judging everyone around them, sweetheart” he would reply, in a slightly buzzed drawl.

But tonight was not one of those nights. And Harry had ended up standing on top of the dining room table scream-singing ABBA at the top of his lungs.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his dramatic and messy performance. His limbs flailed freely as he wiggled his hips along to the beat of Dancing Queen, singing into a small statue of a naked woman he had picked up off an end table that you assumed to be very, very expensive, like it was a microphone. He wore a pair of high rise denim flares that swayed along with his movements to the music and his white “Women are Smarter'' shirt was now stuck to his body with sweat, just see through enough for his butterfly to make an appearance.

He only came down after a green malaise began to settle over his features, skin slightly clammy and a bit pale. You extended a hand, helping his loopy body down off the table and letting him settle into your side for support once he was on solid ground again. “Let’s head to the bathroom, H,” you said gently, trying to settle the panic that was beginning to crawl into his eyes. “I’ll take care of you.”

Once he got to the beautifully large and extravagant bathroom, he crawled into a small, or as small as the large man could make himself, ball and rested his hot clammy cheeks against the cool marble of the floor. “May have overdone it,” he grumbled from his spot on the floor, holding on for dear life as you were sure the room was spinning for him.

“Ya think?” you teased, immediately feeling a pang of guilt when you were met with a pathetically needy face from him in return. “Oh baby, it’s okay.” You carefully dug through the cabinets, knowing there had to be washcloths somewhere in the lavish room, and once you found one you dampened it with cold water. Settling down on the tile next to him, you pulled him and his sweaty curls on to your lap, wiping the layer of sweat delicately from his skin and then resting the cold cloth on his forehead.

You two stayed in this position for a while, carefully rubbing his back in an effort to sooth the large man and trying to ignore the loud music that was still shaking the house around you. He looked small like this, no longer your giant protector, but like a younger version of himself who just needed someone to take care of him. You were happy to be that person, as he always was for you.

This was the first time you had ever seen him like this. He always managed to know his limits, but tonight he just went off the deep end. He had been working like a dog, constantly in and out of the studio, frustrated that none of the songs he was writing were up to his astronomically high standards for himself. It wasn’t too shocking that he was trying to escape that stress.

Gradually, as he laid on the floor and you held him close, the color came back into his cheeks and he stopped holding onto your legs like the room was about to take flight. When you sat him up against the wall, he was still a bit wobbly, but no longer looked like he was about to unload his stomach contents all over the room.

“How are you feeling now, H?” you asked softly, scanning his face for discomfort or distress as you dabbed the washcloth over his skin.

“’m okay,” he hiccuped back, “jus’ needed a cuddle.” He got exceptionally British when he got this drunk, his accent coming out in a barely distinguishable garble of tall vowels and dropped consonants, his tongue heavy in his mouth.

His eyes fluttered open and closed without rhythm as he looked at you, his light green eyes glazed over with a glassy shine, and his mouth hung open slightly, like he didn’t have the coordination to close it. His pink cheeks were flushed and his skin had a sweaty sheen. His head had rolled off too one side and rested on his shoulder, like his neck had given up on holding his head up, and his arms fell heavy at his sides.

You should have been at least slightly annoyed with him for acting like a college kid, drinking until he made himself sick. His behavior and subsequent need for you to take care of him should have gotten under your skin and caused a bit of anger to bubble up into your chest. But it didn’t. You were just taking care of your man.

“Do you still feel nauseous?”

“‘m a-ok, babay” he said, making himself giggle with his rhyme. His lips lazily curled up into a smile and he dragged a lazy arm up to give the “OK” symbol with his uncoordinated fingers, before the heavy limb dropped back down to the tile beneath him.

“Okay, funny man,” you began sarcastically, planning on instructing to drink the glass of water you had retrieved on your way up to the bathroom, when he cut you off.

“I am pretty funny, aren’t I?” you rolled your eyes but couldn’t hold back the loud belly laugh that fell past your lips. He took the glass from you and began to sip, a proud smirk never leaving his lips as he looked at you.

“You were a comedian in a past life.”

“I agree.”

You two were quiet for a bit, Harry drinking something other than tequila for the first time the entire night, and you just admiring him in silence. You let your hand crawl into his, interlocking your fingers together before bringing it up to your lips and pressing small kisses to each of his knuckles. It wasn’t long before his glass of water was finished and he crawled back into your arms, his back pressing to your chest with your arms wrapped securely around his shoulders. Your fingers ran through his still damp curls, initially just to push them up and away from his forehead and eyes, but continued when you heard the little happy mewls coming from him.

“Ya take such good care of me,” he said sloppily with a gentle tone, breaking through the bubble of silence you two had created together.

“I always will.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his salty forehead and settled back onto the hard wall behind you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You hadn’t been together for long, with saying the “L” word still being pretty new, and still slightly foreign, to both of you. But you meant it when you said it, you loved him, and your body always filled with a blushing warmth when he said he loved you too.

You had met through work when you interviewed him for the magazine you worked at. From the moment you saw those dimples in real life, you were weak in the knees and enamored with him. You hadn’t been trying to flirt, it just happened. And before he left the office, you had a date planned for that Friday. That was 6 months ago now and they had been some of the happiest of your life.

“Will you marry me?”

The question left his lips in his absurdly difficult to understand drawl and it took you a moment to process what he said, but when you did your heart stopped.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to marry him, because you did, but not now.

It was too soon. There was still too much for you to do together, too much still to learn about him, and too much for him to learn about you. You hadn’t even had a serious fight yet; you didn’t know how he dealt with conflict or how you would react to it. You didn’t live together; you didn’t know how your living habits would match up or if they would drive each other insane. You didn’t know how you would deal with him touring being away for so long.

There was just too much you didn't know.

“I will someday.” You spoke gently, trying hard not to hurt his currently fragile feelings. You were now holding his face tenderly, like if you held him steady and close, you could lessen the blow.

“So, no?” he looked up at you with his big puppy dog eyes, feeling guilt punch you in the gut.

“For now. Everything is just going so well right now, we don’t have to mess with it.”

“Jus’ wanna be with you forever,” he said softly and your heart began to melt. He was such a soft person, who felt everything so deeply and with so much emotion. He was a sap, and you loved him for it. You pulled him closer to your chest, pressing soft kisses to his temple.

“And you will be,” you breathed. “Forever will still be there down the line.”

“Why not now?” His lips held an adorable pout and you couldn’t stop yourself from pressing a kiss to them. He tasted awful, like tequila and sweat, but the kiss was loving and sweet as you tried to pour all your love for him into it.

“Because we still have to grow,” you watched the end of his mouth tick up, sure to make some sort of smartass comment about you both being grown already. “We have to grow together,” you finished.

“I guess so,” he mused softly.

“I promise that I will say ‘yes’ when we are ready someday.”

“Someday,” he repeated softly, feeling the words on his own lips. “I’m going to keep asking, ya know?” he smirked up at you, his smile and joking tone signalling that you hadn’t broken his heart, just bruised his ego a bit.

“That’s perfectly okay,” you sighed, a contagious smile finding its way to your own lips. “I’m going to keep saying ‘no’ until we’re ready, ya know?” you teased, using his own words against him.

“One day, I’ll make an honest woman outta ya when you let me.”

“One day.”

Thank you reading!! Reblogs/feedback mean the world!! 

[the-acid-pear]

I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

[hi-hey-haechan]

NSFW A-Z Analysis: Mark Lee

I’m still writing the prompts, but I felt like writing something a little different for once. Please let me know if you like these, for if you do, there will be more in the future. This was fun to write.

A ~ Aftercare

When you both come down from your highs, Mark is pretty tired. He’ll grab a warm towel and clean you up, and he’d get you a glass of water. Poor baby is exhausted after sex, though, so he really just wants to lie in bed and cuddle with you.

B ~ Body Part

On himself, he likes his cheekbones and jaw, and how they sort of sculpt his face. Plus, he knows that you appreciate them, as well. On you, he likes your thighs. He enjoys grasping onto them and the way the muscles in them flex whenever you walk. When he’s eating you out, he grasps onto them, and he’ll leave kisses and hickies on your inner thighs to tease you.

C ~ Cum

He appreciates the intimacy of cumming inside of you, and seeing his seed drip out of you drives him insane. However, he loves cumming in your mouth. Seeing you swallow his seed after you pleasure him with your lips and tongue is just so hot to him. On other occasions, he honestly loves cumming on your thighs, seeing him painted over your skin.

D ~ Dirty Secret

A dirty secret of Mark’s is that he secretly wants you to peg him. He’s afraid to try it, but he wanted to see how it would feel to have something like that inside of him, turning into a moaning mess. He’s watched porn of people being pegged, and it makes him really want to try it. Plus, he wants to see you dominant as you control the way he’s feeling, He wants you to decide the pace, at which that you thrust into him. 

E ~ Experience

He’s inexperienced. He joined SM really young and he sort of gives off an awkward, shy, innocent, inexperienced vibe. He’d have a decent-enough idea of what to do. 

F ~ Favorite Position

He loves being able to see you, so missionary is probably his favorite. He likes being able to go as fast or as slowly as he wants. He gets to see your face as you’re overcome with pleasure. He also likes it when you ride him, seeing your entire body on display. Plus, Mark has to admit that when you control the pace, he really enjoys it.

G ~ Goofy

Mark’s fairly shy and awkward, so he’d probably laugh or crack a joke or say something hilariously stupid in the middle of sex. When it’s just vanilla sex, the mood is really light. However, if something is on his mind, or if he’s angry and going rough, then he turns into a completely different person.

H ~ Hair

I can see Mark being fairly trimmed and neat. He isn’t hairless, not completely shaved, but he’s definitely groomed and he keeps himself tidy and at least trimmed. On you, he prefers it if you’re the same, since it makes eating you out easier. He really doesn’t mind, though ~ whatever makes you comfortable

I ~ Intimacy

Mark needs intimacy in order to have sex. He sees it as a precious thing that requires an emotional connection. He wouldn’t have sex with you if he wasn’t absolutely positive of how he felt about you. Either way, every action he makes is sincere and intimate during sex.

J ~ Jack Off

He does it less often than others, but more often than he’s willing to admit to. If you’re not there to satisfy him, his right hand will do the work. Mostly does it in the shower, so the falling water drowns out the sounds he makes. He’s not the best at holding sounds of pleasure back when he’s feeling good

K ~ Kinks

I see him as kind of vanilla, if I’m being honest? Like, he’s not a hard dom, nor does he enjoy being dommed harshly, either. He’s a total switch, though. Here are some kinks:

Hair-pulling (receiving)

Dominant (giving + receiving)

Submissive (giving + receiving

Oral Fixation (giving + receiving)

Overstimulation (giving + receiving_

L ~ Location

The bed is his favorite place to do it. It’s the most comfortable for both of you, and it also has the most amount of space. Plus, the entire aura and scene of the bedroom is comforting and also intimate within itself, which he adores. He may slowly branch out to the couch if he’s desperate enough to not move into the bedroom. Also, you didn’t hear it from me, but he enjoys the shower, as well...

M ~ Motivation

Your voice can turn him on, oddly enough. Hearing you whisper less-than-innocent things in his ear, in a low, hushed voice, literally sends blood rushing south. The way you move also turns him on. Like, the way your hips might move, especially in a certain outfit, turn him to putty. 

N ~ No

Mark would refuse to do anything that could possibly hurt you. The farthest he’d go is spanking, and that’s only if you wanted him to. Even if it’s during sex, the idea of inflicting harm upon you is a huge no.

O ~ Oral

He would never turn down a blowjob. He finds it so hot to look down and see your lips around his hard length, and your mouth literally sends him to pure ecstasy. His hands tangle in your hair and his head is thrown back as swears and moans spill from his lips.

This boy could literally eat you out for hours. He loves how you fall apart just from his mouth and fingers. It drives him crazy when you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug lightly. He quickly learns what makes you feel good, and he uses this to bring you to orgasm after orgasm.

P ~ Pace

When you two are being more sweet and intimate, he enjoys going slow, being able to truly feel everything and every part of you. Sometimes, however, he can’t help himself and he finds himself getting lost in the moment and the pleasure, so he speeds up. He’s a dancer, so he knows how to use those hips and make you beg for him.

Q ~ Quickies

He definitely doesn’t prefer them. He prefers longer, more drawn-out sessions. While quickies can be hot, seeing how fast each other can cum in less-than-ideal circumstances, he doesn’t enjoy them. However, if both of you were really horny, I could see him really enjoying it while it’s happening, though.

R ~ Risk

He’s not one to take risks. The farthest he’s willing to go in terms of being caught is the couch in the dorms. Other than that, anything that could potentially hurt his career is a no-no ~ another reason he doesn’t enjoy quickies.

S ~ Stamina

He gets pretty wiped out after he cums. However, he’s able to bring you to your highs from his mouth and his fingers pretty easily. He can do one round of sex but a few rounds of foreplay, if that was what you wanted.

T ~ Toy

Unless you were really into them, he’s not into toys. In his eyes, why would you need a dildo, for example, when you have his cock to turn everything in your consciousness to pure ecstasy?

U ~ Unfair

I don’t see him as being very unfair in the bedroom. He’d tease you until you’re overstimulated, before coaxing you to multiple climaxes. Other than that, he’s fair in the bedroom. He kind of likes it when you make him beg for you, but shh, you didn’t hear that from me

V ~ Volume

He has trouble holding back, at times, when he’s feeling good. He has really pretty moans. Mark’s moans are fairly breathy and light, and he lets out multiple curses under his breath, especially at his climax.

W ~ Wild Card

You’re straddling him, his length sliding in and out of your dripping core as you ride him. You’re leaning forward, your lips almost touching his, but you choose to tease him, not giving him what he wanted. You pinned his wrists down above his head, ensuring that he couldn’t grab onto your hips to control the pace or help you. Mark’s eyes were screwed shut, his breathless moans becoming more whiny and desperate as you continued to ride him. You gyrated your hips in a circle on his. He whimpered out your name, completely at your expense as you sped up your movements.

X ~ X-ray

He’s about average, maybe a little less. He grows a bit in size when he’s hard. It’s pretty to look at, and he can literally make you fall apart from it. Mark knows how to use it, too. 

Y ~ Yearning

He’s young, and despite seeming innocent, we all know that he has a fairly high sex-drive. However, he’s busy, so you two don’t get down to having sex for up to a week or so at times. On breaks and such, though...that’s a completely different story. A few times a week at least is when you’d have sex. 

Z ~ Zzz

As mentioned, he gets pretty wiped out after he cums. However, he makes sure that you’re cleaned up and okay before he falls asleep.

[papergirllife]

The Things Unsaid

Kim Doyoung

warnings: fluff filled smut, unprotected sex, cream pie.

*gif credits to owner.

You were holed up with the 127 members on a Friday night of drinking in, soju bottles scattered on the floor and a bottle or two of Johnny’s vodka or hennessy. The lot of you were celebrating the boys’ end of promotions and nabbing 4 wins for this album repackage.

For the boys’ successful comeback, the company decided to let them stay in the big house owned by sm up in UN Village. Since you just finished your midterms, Doyoung invited you to join them for this 3 nights holiday.

All of you were sat in a circle, playing truth or truth, since Taeyong stopped the dares after nearly setting the kitchen on fire, again. It was a peaceful yet comedic scene, with Yuta cuddling Mark and Jungwoo trying to steal Mark away, Jaehyun mumbling incoherent things to an even drunker Taeyong.

Donghyuck spun the bottle in the middle of the circle, after having to spill the tea of his browser history, annoyance and embarrassment written on his face. After what seemed like forever, the bottle stopped, landing on you.

“Well, looks like it’s our dear Y/N, everyone’s favourite’s turn to spill her guts.”

“Ask away, devil spawn.”

You’re on the tipsy side, or you wouldn’t have the guts to call Donghyuck names, thank god Johnny was holding onto him.

“Fine. Who would you date among all of us?”

“Do-

You slapped your hand over your mouth when you realised you spoke without thinking through your brain.

You looked around frantically, scanning your eyes over everyone’s expression, landing a fleeting gaze at Doyoung’s face, written in shock and confusion.

“Who is it?!” Donghyuck demanded.

You looked up from your hands that were playing mindlessly on your lap, you can’t just drop the bomb on Doyoung liike that, he’s known you since high school, a confession like this will definitely ruin the friendship the both of you have established. So you decided to force yourself, to the disliking of the tipsy side of your brain, to lie.

“It’s you, Donghyuck.”

When those words left your mouth, everyone was either screaming in frenzy or looking at you in disbelief.

“I’m gay, Y/N. Everyone knows that.”

“I know, that’s why I didn’t bother telling you.”

Your words were laced with confidence, not batting an eye at the lie you just spewed, your sober self taking over after the initial panic sat in.

“What an honour, no wonder you hate my guts, I would be frustrated not being able to date me too if I were you.”

Needless to say, Johnny told Donghyuck to stop before hurting your feelings, sending an apologetic face to your way. You grabbed the bottle and spun, your mind no longer in the game and throwing out a random question at Yuta.

Your eyes skimmed over to Doyoung for a moment, noticing him down an entire bottle as Taeil whispers something into his ear. What was his problem? You downed your own bottle of soju, wanting to calm your nerves down.

As the night goes on, one by one the boys seem to either doze off or pass out from the drinks they had, you and Taeil were the only sober enough ones to help the boys back to their rooms. Taeil was about to help Doyoung upstairs, but Mark clung onto him, saying that he wants his hyung immediately.

So Taeil entrusted you with Doyoung, who was very much drunk at the moment, it was odd to you, since Doyoung hardly drinks this much, at most a few shots, never downing one whole bottle like this, he was always the mature one among all his friends.

So you took Doyoung’s arm and slung it over yours as you guided him up the stairs, since his room is on the 3rd floor, that wasn’t an easy feat. You gave him instructions and encouragements at each and every step, Doyoung’s face was inches away from yours, so you looked down at his feet, making sure he is climbing the stairs properly, this was the safer way, for both of you.

“There you go, Do-ie. We finally reached your room.”

You said as you laid him gently down the bed, adjusting the pillow to the comfort of his neck, lighting a candle he bought along for the trip, just like how he does every night before shut eye.

Just as you finished tucking his whole body underneath the blanket, he trashes everything, a frustrated groan mix whine leaving his mouth.

“Why do you like Donghyuck among all of us?!”

“Shh! Doyoung, you’ll wake everyone up.”

You quickly closed the door of his room, enclosing the chaos that’s about to break apart.

“Why are you so worked up over it?”

“Because I like you! Since we were 16! Do you know how many years I’ve waited for you to like me?!”

“Doyoung, I’m sorry, I lied back at the game, I never and won’t ever like Donghyuck. I was about to say your name, silly. I just used Donghyuck as a cover up of my tipsy mistake.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and I liked you since we met.”

Doyoung pulled you down to join him in bed, his lips blindly crashing against yours, this wasn’t how you imagined the both of you will kiss, but as long as it’s with Doyoung, everything is the best.

Doyoung’s hands were all over your body, gently caressing every inch of your body as your fingers were tangled in his hair, keeping him close to you.

Doyoung flipped you over and was looking at you with a toothy grin, excitement and love spelled out on his face, his eyes and yours locked.

“You’re in for a long night, Y/N.”

Doyoung takes your face into his delicate hands, connecting your lips once again, but softer this time round, you love change in atmosphere, where everything was uncertain then is now in place, like jigsaw puzzles coming together.

Doyoung undresses you as you slid your hands up his t shirt,  feeling the muscles he constantly hides away from the eyes of his fans, your hands rested on his hips, content to a certain extent, pulling him closer to your touch.

You break off the kiss when Doyoung pulls the shirt off your head, you take the chance to undress him as well. His fingers make way to your upper thighs, cupping them into his warm palms, his fingers giving it a slight pinch, teasing you playfully.You playfully slapped his chest, a wide smile on your face.

“Kim Doyoung!”

“Don’t act mad on me, I know you liked it. Look at how pretty your smile is.”

You lean back, trying to cover your face from the how he pointed out one of your likings in bed, your cheeks numb from all the smiling, but you couldn’t help it, enjoying the love the two of you were basking in brings you a type of happiness you had never felt before, but somewhat familiar, even though neither of you have said the three big words yet, the both of you knew, that deep down, there has always been love in everyone of your actions towards each other.

“You know me best, Doyoung-ah.”

You lifted up your hips, signalling Doyoung to take off your shorts. He obliges, a slight blush dusting his face, hands a tad bit shaky. You sit up slowly and took Doyoung’s hands in yours, a comforting smile on your face.

“Hey… It’s still me, the Y/N you’ve known since 15. Nothing will ever change that.”

Doyoung takes a deep breath before answering you.

“Yeah, okay. I’m just worried I’m not up to your standards or I can’t make you feel good-

“Everything will be alright as long as it’s you and me.”

You took one of his hands and placed it on your breasts, the warmth engulfing you whole, but sending chilling shocks down your spine. Doyoung’s eyes were nervous with a tint of lust, this is the Doyoung you’ve grown to know, not the one who fights with Taeyong like a mad man on the daily.

You untied the knot on Doyoung’s sweatpants, making it slip to reveal his white balenciaga boxers.

“I only want this if you do, Doyoung.”

“Yeah, I do, hold on I’ll just…

Doyoung stood up to take his pants off, leaving  him standing there in his boxers.

“Don’t be shy Do-ie, take off some more.”

“You and your tiktoks.”

Doyoung shook his head at disbelief, but put on his serious face and took off his boxers, his cock slapping against his stomach, finally free from its confinements. You stared at his length shamelessly, taking in every curve and vein, your eyes wide at the size he’s sporting. Your utmost interest seemed to have peaked Doyoung’s confidence, as he crawls over your body, one of his hands playing at the hem of your panties.

“Who’s the shy one now?”

Doyoung said as he litters kisses all over your face, sensing your heated cheeks with his own. He gently tugs your panties off, hand coming down to your core to slide a finger in your slit, collecting the wetness that pooled from his actions.

“Please, Doyoung, more.”

Doyoung heeds at your demand, slipping a finger into your core, he could feel how tight and warm you are for him, he couldn’t wait to know how his cock would feel inside you.

Doyoung slips a second finger inside of you when he felt your walls loosening for him, he increased the pace of his fingers and thrusts deeper inside, brushing against your sweet spot but not quite there yet.

The moans slipping from your pretty lips could beat any instrument in this world, the way you whimper his name in between when he slips a third finger, is something he wants to keep hearing in the wee hours at night of his life.

When you were just about to reach your high, Doyoung pulled his fingers out, an annoyed whine leaving your mouth, face scowling in his direction in dislike.

“Patience, it’s our first time. I want us to cum together.”

“Then what are you waiting for? I waited my whole life for this, I want you now.”

“What Y/N wants, what Y/N gets.”

Doyoung aligns his cock at your entrance, he holds your hands in his as he pushes his tip inside, letting you adjust to the feeling of something inside you. He slowly slips inside of you as your walls stretch to accommodate his girth, inch by inch.

Doyoung stays put after he bottomed out, the feeling of your walls’ movements was driving him insane, but he told himself to keep it together as he peppers kisses on your face to distract you from the sting. When the pain turned into pleasure, you started letting out breathy moans.

“You can move now, Doyoung.”

Doyoung lets go of your hands to hold onto your hips as he rocks his length inside of you, slow but deep thrusts, making your toes curl from the accuracy of his thrusts at your sweet spot after a few times.

Doyoung could feel the sweat forming on himself as his body registers the pleasure flowing in his body because of your tight walls, a muffled groan leaving his lips every time he thrusts particularly harder, your walls clenching down on him hard.

“Doyoung, I’m close.”

Doyoung moves your legs to secure them around his waist as he thrusts inside at a faster pace, chasing both your highs, he could feel the way your fingernails scratch at his arms as you held on for your dear life as he rocks inside of you, but the pain just further fuels the pleasure he’s chasing, and for something bigger ahead.

When you reached your high, you let out a scream, Doyoung kissed you to muffle your voice before the two of you wake anyone up, your orgasm made your walls clamp down on Doyoung’s length, securing him inside of you, Doyoung tries his best to give a last few sloppy thrusts before the pleasure pushes him off the ledge, his length painting your walls white.

Doyoung brushes the stray hairs stuck on your sweaty forehead as you come down from your high, he looks into your eyes, checking to see any signs of pain or discomfort. He pulls out gently, a little cum dripping down your thighs.

“Are you okay? Was I too rough?”

Your eyes begin to droop as your body craves rest from all the love making, but you opened them wide to show Doyoung you were fine.

“I’m okay Doyoung. I’m not porcelain.”

Doyoung smiles at how the way your eyes hold so much adoration for him, he places a kiss on your forehead and smiles.

“Close your eyes and relax, Y/N. I’ll clean you up. Then we can cuddle.”

[cosmamas]

self-indulgent pre ‘before everything goes to shit’ headcanons for @kyecupio ! fyi for anyone else reading this: serenity / usagi / cosmos are all the same person in this verse but she refers to herself as ‘usagi’ while she’s living on destiny islands!.

under a cut because this got way longer than i meant it to be!!!!

pre-birth / baby / toddler stuff

her feelings on being pregnant range from, ‘i love this mamo-chan! i love you! i love this baby!’ to ‘i can’t see my feet. why does my back hurt so much!! get this baby out of me FUCK!!!!!!!’

a real conversation that was had between her and mamoru: usagi: *casually refers to the baby as a she* mamoru: wait how do you know it’s a girl? usagi: oh well every serenity had a girl befor- mamoru: um what do you mean by ‘every serenity’? usagi: lol i didn’t i tell you my mother was named that? my grandma and great grandma were too. i also look like my great great grandma and my great great grea- mamoru: *chuckling nervously* what the fuck!!!!!

she 'talks’ to the baby a lot by telling him stories, singing to him, or even occasionally admitting that she’s terrified of not being a good parent oof! she likes to think that him moving / kicking right after she says something is him reacting to what was said. but he’s really just a little shit that kicks / moves a lot especially when she’s trying to sleep!!

she definitely gets cravings for delicacies that only existed on the moon kingdom and mamoru tries his best to recreate it but usagi’s terrible and vague about the ingredients ( b/c chefs and makoto cooked everything ) so it never comes out right but she appreciates his attempts none the less.

idk when his birthday is ( i’ll let kyecupio handle that ) but he definitely comes late / past his due date which drives her insane because she just can’t sit still despite everyone telling her to and it gives mamoru daily heart attacks. 

she probably goes into full-on labor at night / during a new moon because hahaahah GET IT NEW. MOON. cause it’s a new moon kingdom heir........ i’m deleting. anyway, a lot of symbolism regarding the new moon is specifically tied to starting over, second chances, new beginnings, etc. which is literally what this baby represents for his parents. this is also a moment where the ‘usagi’ facade drops and ‘serenity’ comes out as she gathers strength from the moon to help her get through the pains of labor ( it wouldn’t be surprising if she kind of just...zones out and enters an almost trance-like state and doesn’t snap out of it until he’s actually out ).

do to the close ties the moon kingdom has with kingdom hearts itself as well as the greek references in kh ( χ-blade ) and in sailor moon, usagi thought of the name archísei but the meaning / significance in its meaning was something both she and mamoru desired in a name for their child.

archísei is the cutest baby!!! he has the chubbiest cheeks, the biggest ears, and is very fussy when he’s not being cuddled by mommy or daddy. and yes, he’s born with the traditional mark of moon royalty: the crescent moon on one’s forehead. it’s hidden away but when they’re alone usagi chooses to reveal it by kissing him on his forehead uwu.

because usagi can’t help her home sickness, his nursery definitely has a slight celestial / moon kingdomish feel to it with white, gold, and other neutral colors + a wall with some constellations or stars on it ( and yes, i looked at baby nurseries for this. let me live!!!!!! ).

this is totally them when he starts screaming at like three in the morning. mamoru can get him to fall back asleep pretty quickly if he’s lucky. with usagi, there’s more work because archísei is spoiled and likes to be sang to before eventually falling asleep, usually to one of these ( both of these, especially tuxedo mirage, are like....aggressively about mamoru but we’re going to ignore that because i like the ‘lullabyness’ of how they sound ).

usagi is tall, around 5′9 / 5′10 ( without heels ), so when he’s not attached to her hip / being carried then archísei is always latched to her legs once he starts learning how to walk.

his terrible twos phase is the absolute WORST. usagi regrets the day he learned how to say no.

childhood stuff

mamoru and usagi are definitely the ‘we’ll fuck you up if you even look at our son the wrong way’ type of parents. even if he were to do something he wasn’t supposed to at school or even goes to far while ‘playfully’ sparring with another kid, they would probably argue in his defense but then lecture him once they’re at home.

( an unpopular opinion but i unapologetically love how snarky / somewhat of a jerk mamoru is in the first season of the 90s anime which is trait that...pretty much disappears after that rip :’(((( - and it’s easily my favorite version of the character. his banter with usagi kills me. ) so going with mamoru’s personality being a mix of manga + season one of classic sm then archísei’s snark definitely comes from him + watching his parents playfully go back and forth with other as usagi can be pretty sassy too ( mamoru taught archísei how to rile her up by calling her bun-head which still makes her throw a fit despite being 30+ years old ).

archísei is a momma’s boy but he definitely admires / looks up to his dad because mamoru is definitely important™ on DI, like a doctor or something because he’s got the smarts. archísei is easily smarter than most, if not all, the kids in his age range ( and probably even the kids older than him too ) so he breezes by in his course work and doesn’t find school interesting. as a result, he would definitely beg his dad to let him skip school and go to work with him and because mamoru is weak, he says yes every single time.

did i say he’s a momma’s boy? he’s definitely a momma’s boy. when he’s a child ( and still too young to stop and question her things ) they did almost everything together. from baking ( and failing at it ), to her teaching him how to do his eyeliner ( this one is completely kyecupio’s ), and he would probably learn to dance from her too. overall they’re just very ‘in-sync’ with each other due to the natural link between them ( similar to her and chib’s connection in canon ). she’s probably the person he loves and idolizes the most which is why it’s going to hurt so much once he learns out that she’s been the one lying and deliberately holding him back all this time.

he doesn’t need help with his homework but usagi and mamoru will sometimes sit down with him anyway - although in usagi’s case, he probably ends up teaching her than the other way around.

a lot of the bed time stories he was told where legends passed down in the moon kingdom or vague stories about other worlds she had been told to as a child.

luna is their cat ( although i’m still debating if it’s moon kingdom luna or just a cat with the same name ). regardless, she’s very protective of him and snuggles with him at night.

pre-teen / things go to shit stuff this section wasn’t supposed to exist but here we are

him entering his pre-teens is when his relationship with his parents, specifically his mother, slowly deteriorates. usagi and mamoru have very different approaches on how to handle their son and his desires to see more outside of DI: usagi wants him to play with other kids / make friends while mamoru feels that if he should be allowed to do things at his own pace because mamoru relates / understands him in ways that she can’t. he was ‘different’ by being the boy who lost his parents / memories and he grew tired of everyone taking pity on him so he just learned to deal with being alone in his own way until he was able to grow and move passed it.

they would definitely have family nights where they would sail to one of the smaller islands to have a small bbq, watch the stars, have fun, etc. these decrease as archísei grows older; he makes up excuses not to attend before eventually not even bothering with doing that.

also that natural link he and his mother have? it’s gone now or more accurately it’s like he’s unknowingly created a barrier around himself that effectively shuts her out. so while she could naturally always faintly ‘feel’ him ( whether it was emotionally or just knowing if he was nearby ),  that’s just not there anymore. it hurts her a lot.

he definitely eventually hears them arguing one night over usagi’s ‘past’ and whether they should tell them to truth. usagi is very ‘nope, not doing that’ despite mamoru trying to convince her otherwise. also if luna is moon kingdom luna then that means the cat that’s been watching over him since he was baby, claiming a dedicated sleeping spot on his bed, and has casually walked with him to school can talk and would probably be on mamoru’s side. archísei vc: you guys have even been lying about the fucking cat too????

when he does finally leave, there’s a....denial about it as they try to convince themselves that maybe he’s just staying late at a friend’s house even though they know he doesn’t have any or maybe he’s camping out on that island he always likes to visit. ‘ we’ll lecture / yell at him about breaking curfew in the morning ’ is what they say but then he’s still not back home in the morning. they check his school and learn he hasn’t been there in over a week so then they start knocking on neighbor’s doors, asking if they’ve seen their son and get no answers. they even check the surrounding islands but he’s still nowhere to be found which is when reality sets in hard. they don’t know if he’s lost at sea, dead, or if usagi’s greatest fear has been realized and he’s somehow managed to leave this world entirely. they just don’t know.

and like not to be cliche but......she loves her son so much and that love can never be replicated or replaced by another so him leaving literally breaks her heart in a way that can’t be fixed ( twil.ight, outside of its soundtracks and leah / rosalie, is not good™ but the song in this scene always...made it weirdly memorable to me and i feel like it’s lyrics accurately sums up how she feels internally - i don’t really see her completely shutting out everyone / just sitting around the house as usagi’s been wearing a mask for a long time and can externally hold it together but would she have sobbing fits at the beach in the middle of the night? yes. ).

also mamoru’s pain over losing his son is important / shouldn’t be brushed over because he literally can’t remember his own parents and has been alone until this strange woman falls, quite literally, into his life. she becomes his new family before giving him a son who he loved so much that he risked sailing the ocean and eventually drowning for because he was so desperate to reach him, to tell him he was sorry for the lies, and that everything would be okay. good god what a DAD.

bonus ‘what if things didn’t suck from the start’ b/c i gotta get this all out my system!

usagi meeting mamoru under less dire circumstances aka she’s free to able to travel to other worlds and casually takes him back to ‘her place’ which just so happens to be a secret kingdom. usagi: haha isn’t it rad!!! mamoru: *chuckling nervously* what the fuck!!!!!

archísei is still ‘different’ but more in that he symbolizes how ‘traveling outside of their home can be good for the MK’s people’ instead of something to be frowned upon.

catch him always in nana serenity’s arms, holding her hand, and them having little picnics together. she also gets him out of trouble from his parents all the time!!!

his aunts / the senshi spoil him so much!!!!! ami ( the nerd ) and setsuna ( the time lord ) are his favorites for obvious reasons but he has unique relationships with all of them - minako and rei probably baby him just as quickly as they would discipline him if they needed to. makoto constantly bakes sweet stuff for him and makes him lunches packed with his favorite food. michiru and haraku are the vodka cool aunts who teach him all about fashion and how to not just look better than everyone else but how to actually be better than everyone else too. he would also probably get along really well with hotaru?? she’s kind of the ‘other’ in the group / not really supposed to exist in a way so maybe they can relate to being different and celebrating that.

he still leaves for scala ad caelum to train but usagi is very dramatic and there’s lots of tears and crying. archísei: mama i’m not even going to be gone that long!!! usagi: b-but!!! *starts sobbing again* 

archísei brings eraqus home and mamoru / usagi are just being hella nosy the whole time. mamoru and usagi in union: who dat??? 👀👀👀

there are lots of crying from mom and dad during his coronation / when he eventually succeeds usagi as the moon kingdom’s monarch!!!! 

BASICALLY EVERYONE IS A LOT MORE WELL ADJUSTED AND THIS DOESN’T END IN DISASTER GOODBYE.

[blondrichclosetwitch]

“There is freedom from addiction.”

“The TV, she talks to me.”

“Just a small town boy and girl living in a crazy world tryna figure out what is and isn’t true.”

“Hey girl, stop what you’re doing. Hey girl, you’ll drive me to ruin. Having a nervous break down, a-drive me insane.”

“ we never know what’s coming next. We waited for this day to come. you won’t give up so stand beside insidious ones with conquered eyes… The things that they are living on: suicide, your repertoire.”

“If the world should stop revolving, spinning slowly down to die, I’ll spend the end with you.”

“ Just call me Lucifer.”

“ seems so long since we walked in the moonlight making vows that just can’t work right.”

“ you are the silence in between what I thought and what I said. I was disappearing in plain sight. Would you leave me if I told you what I’ve become? it’s so hard to say it to you out loud.”

“ You are mine, I possess you.”

“you rule me with one wave of your hand.”

“Your necklace hanging from my neck.

Baby, like we stood a chance.

Remember when you hit the brakes too soon.” (this one has to do with us how she had my necklace, how there was no chance of having the baby, and how the driver shouldn’t have hesitated.) 

“I know you’ve tried but something stops you every time

I know I seem shaky these hands not fit for holding

Tell me I will be released, not sure I can deal with this. Up all night Again this week. I’m still here. “

“I jumped into the river. Black-eyed angels swam with me.” (Black eyed=they are entities which are part of that reality. Black-eyed, meaning they’re hurt, they killed themselves.)

“I know a girl who knows another girl who Knows the woman that you hurt. you used to do the most cocaine of anyone I’d ever met.”

“I’m on third Avenue. Won’t you take me away and take away me. “

“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow.”

“All that you said to me is still so very clear.

The players in the band can always find…always find some number that we know. I was the only one left at the right time. You’ll miss me when I’m gone. Only I’m still hanging on. “

“Don’t…don’t, don’t.”

“All these things into position.

This machine will not communicate these thoughts and the strains I am under.

Form a circle before we all go under, and fade out again.

Cracked eggs, dead birds, Scream as they fight for life. I can feel death. “ (the birds, so many birds. Always orchestrated.)

I miss your stupid face. I miss your bad advice. I try to clothe your bones with scratches , super 8’s, exaggerated stories and old tunes.”

“I’ve been dragging around from the end of your coat for two weeks.

You might need me more than you think you will. You keep changing your fancy fancy mind. You’ll never believe me what I found, Think I better follow you around.” (This is the spirit of our child talking; he was seen holding on to my coat in early 2020. It seems he was a protector. Fun fact: recently he told me his name is not Oliver James, it’s Oscar. Which means spear of the gods.)

“50,000 on my head, it’s disrespect. Can’t go 50-50 with no hoe. Jump up out the bed like I’m possessed. Getting pictures from my ex, SMS, triple X. She don’t even love me, she just putting on a front. She gonna try and settle out of court and make a run. Hate me, never met me in the flesh.” {—ftr, a) that was the number I was given, b) I was told it was a front and c) we never met. }

“ maybe I’m born right out of my time breaking my life in two. Now that I’ve really got a chance, everything is falling into place. Only for you I don’t regret that I was Thursdays child.”. (my due date was a Thursday. )

“ fantasized no one gets hurt.”

“ ain’t no problem, man, the game… You already know how this game thing goes. And keep it loopy, I know you’re going to keep it loopy. And we here, hit the town, we do something big. We’re going to make a big tsunami up in the joint. You already know what it is.”

“Clutches of sad remains waits for A lad insane (you’ll make it).”



[griffinkathryn95]

How To Win Back My Long Distance Ex Girlfriend Prodigious Tips

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How To Attract Your Ex Girlfriend Back To You

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Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back After Begging

[anavoliselenu]

freedom ch 19

5 years later

JUSTIN POV

"Justin, I don't know why you always wait to do these things." Emmett spoke to me angrily over the phone.

"Because I keep forgetting."

"If I ever forgot my anniversary, Rosalie would chop my balls off."

"Yeah, well, can you just make the reservations? They like you better at the restaurant."

"Fine, but I'm not babysitting."

"I've got that covered." I spun around in my chair. "Thanks so fucking much."

I put the phone down and ran my hands through my hair, a habit that wouldn't ever set me free.

It was only eleven in the morning, and I already felt like I had been through a full day. Papers were strewn across my large desk and my computer screen flicked with documents of all kinds.

"Okay, Justin, dinner reservations made," I said to myself, checking things off of my mental list. "What next?"

A small giggle interrupted my thoughts. I sat up a little straighter, listening for it again. Maybe I was going crazy.

I smiled slightly when I saw ten small digits curl around the edge of my desk. A shock of dark brown hair followed, and then bright green eyes. The head ducked down quickly, giggling again.

"Who might that be?" I tapped my pen against the wood.

"Shhhhh." Another voice was added to the first.

"Oh, two of them?" I got up from my chair and walked slowly around the desk, being sure my feet made heavy sounds.

Their giggling got louder as they ran away from me.

"You'll never catch us!" Sophia darted across the room, her long brown hair flowing as she ran. Roman chased after her, but he wasn't as fast. I snatched him up by his ankle and held him in the air.

"And what exactly are you two doing?" I asked.

"We're bored. Take us to the zoo." He smiled. "Please."

"You know I can't do that." I swung him from side to side, his arms flinging around. His shirt fell down, revealing his stomach, which I poked. "I have work to do."

"You always have work to do." Sophia skipped out of the bathroom, dancing around in a light blue, summery dress.

I set Roman down on the floor. His pale face had turned a tomato red, and he swayed from side-to-side, trying to get his bearings.

"Mama says we're here so you can relax. You're not relaxing," Sophia said, very matter-of-factually.

"Well, your mother forgets that I can't take breaks like she can." I sat back down in my chair. They came over to me, looking just as identical as the day they were born. Everything about them was the same. It was eerily shocking at times.

"But you promised you would take us," Roman pouted.

"Did I?" I put my glasses on. "As I recall, you didn't want to visit the zoo because you were afraid of the tigers."

"No, that was Sophia," he protested.

"Was not!" she shouted. "I'm not afraid, Daddy."

They began to argue in their language, which I would never be able to understand. They talked so fast that it was impossible to catch. When the argument got physical, I lifted Roman up and placed him on the other side of the desk.

"She started it." He crossed his arms. His face became crinkled, a trait that the kids picked up from Selena.

"I will take you guys out to do something fun tomorrow. You mother and I are having dinner tonight."

"Oh, can we come?" Sophia climbed into my lap.

"Absolutely not."

"Why?" Roman asked.

"Because we need a night away. You are driving us crazy," I joked, even though it was true. At some times, I thought I might literally go insane. No one said raising kids was easy, but I didn't think it would be this hard either. Selena was the only thing that kept me smiling through most of it.

"You can help Katy Nana make a cake," I said, hoping to cheer them up. They weren't allowed to have sweets often, so it was a treat.

"Really?" Sophia's green eyes shone. "Let's go find her, Roman."

She jumped from my lap and clasped hands with her brother, all thoughts of an argument forgotten. They began to charge out of the room.

"Dove è tua madre" I called after them, asking where their mother was.

"Outside!"

I sighed and collapsed further into my chair. Maybe I could take a small break? I deserved one after the morning I'd had.

Fuck it...

I got up from my seat and stretched out my aching muscles. With less than four hours of sleep last night, my body was not happy with me at the moment.

Over the years, I had cut back a lot on my workload at Bieber, Inc. I realized that I needed to make a decision. I couldn't run a crime family and a business at the same time. I was starting to waste away.

Bieber Inc. was managed by Alec and Jane. Jane, now a Bieber herself, was the most organized person I knew, and I couldn't think of anyone better to take over my role as CFO. Of course, I was still consulted on everything, but I almost never went into the office. It wasn't necessary. Alec kept everything from falling apart while I stayed at home working on... other aspects of my life.

Crime was still a heavy part of the Bieber family, even after the "the Trial of the Century", as many news outlets called it.

After my arrest, I was brought before a judge where a laundry list of allegations was brought against me, the most heinous being the murder of a police officer. I plead guilty to almost half of them, just because I didn't feel like fighting the charges. The murder was a different case within itself.

The trial lasted about a year, and there wasn't any possible way for me to get out of it. I was detained in a facility, away from my family for the entire duration. I lived in a padded cell and missed some of the most important moments in my life, up to that point: The twins' first steps, their first words, Alec and Jane's wedding; the adoption of Rose and Emmett's first child. Roman and Sophia didn't even know me when I came home. That's what hurt the most.

Selena, as always, was a savior. She did everything she could to help me during that year and it was her testimony that probably set me free. It brought everyone in the courtroom to tears, and I had never heard anything so heartfelt. The jury was so impressed, I don't they would have committed me if I had killed one of their own children. Plus, there was minimal evidence as to my crimes. That helped a lot.

I owed IsaSelena Bieber my life.

"And yet, you forgot our anniversary," I scolded myself, shaking my head.

I took the stairs two at a time and glided into the front foyer on the newly polished hardwood floors before going outside. We were at the lake house, and the sun was brightly shining, making the air unseasonably hot for an April morning.

It was impossible for us to live in Chicago all year round these days. It was just... too much for the family. Whenever life got a little heavy, I would move us out of the city, just for a little bit until things cooled off. This was one of those times. The kids were being homeschooled right now so they weren't missing anything and they just thought of it as a mini-vacation. That's all they needed to know.

Beyond that, I found myself a lot less stressed and able to actually breathe these days. Life was a lot better, I had to admit.

I rounded the house and began to hear the soft waves of the lake lapping at the rocky shore. I saw Selena down the beach, holding the hands of our one year old as he walked on the sand. He was still a little wobbly up on two legs.

Santino spotted me first and literally began bouncing on his feet. His smile was infectious, and I squatted down so that he could walk towards me. Selena let him go, and he stumbled into my arms before I lifted him up.

"You're getting so good." I kissed his chubby cheeks.

His hair was the strangest color I had ever seen: a bronze that wasn't quite as light as mine, but a brown not as dark as Selena's. And his eyes weren't of either of us. They were Carlisle's bright blue. We thought they would change as the months went on, but never did.

"Santino has had quite the morning." Selena walked up to me, carrying their shoes. "He found his first fish and tried to eat it."

"Well, he's a growing boy. Always hungry."

"I feed him enough." She pulled me down by my arm until our lips touched. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I know." I sat on the sand, pulling Santino into my lap. Selena followed and scooted up next to me.

Five years had done nothing to her. She looked almost the same as the ever. No lines on her face or signs of aging. Well, I didn't see any, but she assured me they were there. And her body... I won't even begin to discuss that subject or my mind might go to very inappropriate places.

"Happy anniversary," I whispered to her, bouncing Santino on my lap.

Selena froze. "Oh, is it?"

"Yes."

"Justin, I am so sorry. I forgot." She looked nearly panicked. "I've just been so busy trying to get the kids..."

"Selena, don't worry about it," I chuckled, interrupting her before she pulled her hair out. I didn't think she needed to know that I forgot as well. "We've all been busy."

"But that's no excuse. I feel so bad." She covered her mouth as if she was in shock.

"Honestly, it's not that big of a deal. I think the law allows us to forget a maximum of two anniversaries throughout our life."

She giggled at my horrible attempt at a joke. "Well, thank you, and happy anniversary."

"I've made reservations for us in town for dinner."

Selena nodded. "That sounds nice."

Santino began to reach for his mother, and I handed him over as he started making gurgling noises. I never thought that I would have even one child, let alone three. But Santino was certainly a surprise, just like the twins. I had a far better reaction this time around.

I wasn't as confused and could comprehend this pregnancy more rationally. Selena was over the moon, and when Santino was born, I had never seen her cry so much. She promised me they were happy tears.

We never really talked about how many kids we wanted or when we should stop, but I figured we weren't stopping any time soon. Selena was such a good mother, it would be a waste to not let have more. I was fine with that... I think. I was sure I could handle more.

"You're smiling again," Selena pointed out.

"Am I?" I looked out to the lake. It was so peaceful here.

"You do that a lot more often nowadays."

"I have more to smile about than I used to," I told her truthfully.

She was about to say something else, but we were interrupted by Roman who ran towards us on the beach. "Daddy, Uncle Alec is here!"

I checked my watch. Damn.

"Come on, let's get you two inside. I don't want him getting too much sun." I took Santino from Selena and helped her up. She held my hand as we walked back towards the house.

Alec was waiting in the family room, playing some kind of game with Roman and Sophia sitting on his lap. They were best buddies, all three of them. He was just as much a kid now as he always had, even being five years older and a married man.

"What did you bring us?" Sophia rubbed her palm over Alec's cheek. You could almost see him melt on the sofa.

"Bring you? I just saw you squirts last week. Actually, I usually see you every damn day," Alec replied.

Roman and Sophia gasped.

"You said a bad word, Alec. You owe them money for the swear jar." Selena sat in one of the comfy chairs, placing Santino on the floor, who began crawling around.

"Damn." Alec pulled out his wallet.

"That's another one," Roman pointed out. "We're going to be rich."

Alec gave them each a fifty dollar bill. "Spend it wisely. Buy a car or a prostitute."

"What's a prostitute?" Sophia asked.

I had to stop this before it got out of hand. I lifted her off of Alec's lap. "You two go upstairs and practice your piano."

Sophia took off, her question forgotten, but Roman rolled his eyes and acted as if his feet were made of lead. He knew better than to say anything.

"You really need to watch your mouth." I hit Alec across the back of his head. "They're like sponges. They soak up everything and I don't want to have a conversation about hookers with my daughter."

"I can't help it." He shrugged innocently. "You made me this way."

"You most certainly can help it." Selena shook her head. "You need to be setting an example."

"What the hell are you doing here anyway? We left the city to get away from you guys." I sat on the arm of the chair that Selena was in.

"Yeah, well, they're all coming here for the weekend anyway. I thought I'd get a jump on it. Besides, we have some work to do." Alec kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

I sighed heavily, "Can't you all just stay away from us for one weekend? It is our anniversary after all."

"Shit, is it?" He sat up straighter. "Then I'll have to get you something nice."

"Thank you in advance." Selena picked Santino up from the floor. "If you'll excuse me, it's time for a feeding and then a nap."

"I wish," Alec groaned. "The life of a baby must be nice."

Selena left a long, lingering kiss on my lips before leaving the room.

"Why are you here?" I sank into the chair. "It better be for a good reason."

"I just need your verbal confirmation to kill a guy," he answered bluntly.

"A guy? Who?"

"One of your drug runners is running a little too wild. He's 'misplaced' more than ten kilos in the past year and I think it's time for him to go. Emmett, Jasper, and I have already voted on the matter. We just need your say-so to get on a plane to Argentina."

I took off my glasses. "Keep it quiet and for God's sake, do not get caught up in some kind of fight. If you miss your opportunity come straight home. It's not worth it."

"I wish you could come with us. It would make things so much easier."

"You know I can't do that. They watch me like I'm some kind of animal," I said angrily, thinking about my caged existence.

"Remember what your therapist said, do your breathing exercises," Alec warned.

I inhaled and counted before exhaling out my frustration. "I'm fine."

"We'll let you know when it's done." Alec stood up and stretched. "I think I might take a nap myself. Little Santino isn't the only one who needs a break."

I helped Selena get out of the low-sinking Ferrari after I pulled up to the valet. One black stiletto heeled foot at a time she floated out of the car, as much grace as a dancer or gymnast. A far departure from the Selena from so long ago. Her dress, one of my favorites, was red, V-necked, capped sleeved, and tight.

"We could have just stayed at home. I wouldn't mind," Selena said.

"No, no. Of course not."

There were only a few nice restaurants in this small town, but this was one of the better ones.

I dropped the keys reluctantly in the valet's hands and glared at him. I think he got my point without words.

The place was fairly small and intimate, candlelit with soft music playing throughout. It was nice enough outside that I requested a table on the patio and we were situated in a secluded corner.

"This is wonderful." Selena picked up the wine list as soon as she sat down.

"Just something small for our anniversary."

"Six years and counting." She sighed. "You've put me through a hell of a lot."

I had to physically stop myself from hanging my head. She was so forgiving and patient and... perfect.

"If you were any lesser women, my ass would have been on the curb," I admitted. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"Thank you for dealing with my horrible pregnancy mood swings."

I laughed and nodded. "True. You get as bad as me when you're pregnant."

We spent dinner just talking. Sometimes there would be lulls in the conversation, but it was never awkward or forced. It felt really nice to eat without kids. I forgot what silence sounded like. By the time our second bottle of wine was finished, I was more than a little horny.

I decided to call back to the house and tell Katy Nana that we wouldn't be home tonight. Selena and I walked towards the nearest hotel. Fortunately, this town had a great selection of nice places to stay for the night due to all the tourists.

As soon as the door closed to our room, the clothes started coming off.

"Justin, slow down. You're going to rip my arms off." She stumbled away from me as my hands fumbled with her bra.

"Selena, come back." I groaned, feeling cold with her being all the way across the room.

"Did you bring any condoms?" She stepped out of her heels.

"What? No, of course I didn't." I fell on the bed, trying to get my belt off.

"Damn it, Justin. I can't get pregnant again. Not right now."

"But you're on birth control," I pointed out.

"I've missed a couple of days. I forgot. I don't want to chance it."

"I'll pull out."

Selena gave me a look that said, Really? She didn't believe me in the slightest.

"You don't have the self-control for that." She had since disregarded all of her clothes and climbed on top of me. The lace of her underwear rubbed against my exposed stomach as my shirt rode up my body.

"I can do it. Don't make me go without tonight."

She began kissing my neck, teasing me with her lips.

"We used to fuck every day," I sighed in pleasure. "Now we have sex maybe twice a week."

"That is not true and you know it." She laughed against my skin. "You bend me over any sturdy structure you can find. Sometimes I can't even walk when I leave your office. It's quite embarrassing, actually."

"Well, fine, but we don't fuck as much as we used to. I miss it."

"You miss the fucking?"

"I miss the constant fucking. And more than that, the connection." I was speaking seriously now, but she was distracting me as her tiny hands began pulling my pants away.

"Physical or emotional connection?"

"Both," I gurgled out.

"That's what tonight is about."

"Thank you, God."

My clothes were slowly removed by her torturous hands that teased me so horribly.

She climbed up my body, sexy as hell, and leaned forward. I felt her breath wash over my face as my own stopped entirely. In fact, my whole body shut down… my heart, lungs… even my thoughts froze in that moment as I waited for Selena's lips to touch mine again. My self-control was gone.

Her soft lips descended and my body kick-started into a hot-blooded frenzy. Her kiss was hesitant at first, a mere brush of warm lips, but when I moaned in response, my fingers went into her hair, locking her into me.

Her teeth grated against my bottom lip, then my tongue, and I opened to welcome her, my hands trailing up her thighs. Her ass sat high in the air and I pulled down to meet my waist. She yelped in surprise at the contact, but I wouldn't let go.

My whole body reacted to the touch of her against me. She gasped lightly as my hardened erection nestled between her legs.

"I need you now." She pulled at my hair.

"Not yet. It's been too long." I flipped us over skillfully so that she was staring up at me with erotic eyes.

I smirked and bent down to trail my tongue along her neck, planting wet, nibbling kisses from her shoulder, up to her ear, then back again.

"God. You're killing me," she groaned.

I lifted her hands above her head, tightening my hold so that she couldn't get away once I started my torturing. I pushed a knee between her legs to force them apart slightly. I reached between us and stroked her continuously.

I covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her cries as she rode out her orgasm.

I didn't let her arms go as I pushed my dick inside.

"Jesus," I said through gritted teeth. I pulled out slowly, then pushed back in fully, and we groaned in unison. I had to stay still for a second to get myself acclimated.

"I don't think," I said as I pulled out again, "that I can go slow." I thrust a little harder and my eyes rolled back in my head.

"I don't need slow, Justin. I need you. Now."

I lifted one of her legs onto my waist, deepening my angle.

"Shit," she grunted. "So good. It's so good."

I could only moan in response as I thrust powerfully into her again and again… each pounding taking us higher and higher.

"I'm going to…" I muttered, my eyes clenched tight and sweat glistening on my forehead. "Fuck. I'm gonna…"

My work was quick, really quick because I didn't have the time to lavish her right now. I just needed to get the fucking out of the way early in the night. We could make love later.

We both let the coil go in our bodies, almost bringing the walls down with our shouts. I was sure we were scaring the tenants next door.

I collapsed on top of her, sweaty body against sweaty body. Her small limbs clung to me, forcing us to get tangled within the messy sheets.

"I didn't pull out," I said apologetically.

She laughed quietly, "I know. I wouldn't want you to. It felt too good."

I smiled against her skin and kissed anywhere I could reach. "Here's to another five years of the same."

Five years later

SELENA POV

The blaring alarm clock jerked my mind out of peaceful sleep and I rolled over, into Justin's chest. He groaned and shifted under the sheets, his naked body brushing mine. We always slept nude nowadays. It just felt better that way.

"Selena, get the kids up." He yawned.

"No, I did it last time. You go." I pushed him.

He grumbled into a pillow. After a few silent minutes, I realized that he really wasn't getting up. I huffed and blinked my eyes awake. I nearly fell onto the floor, still tired from being up most of the night.

I grabbed my soft, silk robe from the bed post and tucked it around my body.

It was going to be a hot day. The month of June had been unseasonably stuffy here in Chicago, but it rained last night so I hoped it cooled off a little.

Today, the entire family was going to the wedding of one of Justin's cousins, John. The entire family. There would be a lot of Italian people crammed onto the luscious back lawn of the country club, and of course there was going to be drama. I could feel it in my bones.

But before I could even begin to think about the wedding, I had to get the kids up, which was a chore in itself.

I walked up the stairs to the third floor and knocked on the first door.

"Come in," Roman's voice said loud and clear.

I peeked my head in. "Just coming to see if you were awake."

"Of course." His ten-year old self stood in front of the mirror, and he fixed his tie. His shoes were shined and his shirt was neatly pressed.

He looked more like Justin every day. I could always count on him to be the most prepared of all my children. His grades were exceptional, his room was always pristine, his goals were always set, and it scared me sometimes how smart he was. He retained facts and could spit them out during any conversation. On top of all that, Roman was likable. His smile was blinding and he had a draw to him that made people just feel relaxed. I couldn't explain it.

Esme warned me that Justin was the same way, so I should watch out as Roman got older.

"Do I look okay?" He turned around and tried to fix his hair. It was just as unruly as Justin's as well, but with my dark coloring.

"You look so handsome. Just like your father."

"Really?" His green eyes shined. "I think so too."

I laughed at his youthful energy. "Why don't you go downstairs and help Katy Nana with breakfast?"

"Okay, Mom. I will in a little bit." He went over to his bed, preparing to make it up.

Everything in his room had to be just right, not a book or pencil out of place. It worried me out motivated Roman was at some times. I felt like he was growing up way too fast. But Justin encouraged his independence. I just hoped that Roman would just take a little time to be a kid. He was only ten, after all.

I shut the door and left him to his morning routine before crossing the hall to Sophia's room. It was painted in light pastel colors of nothing in particular, but the walls were covered in posters. She was sprawled out in bed, her hair falling out of the ponytail she slept in.

I shook her body. "Sophia, it's time to get up."

She groaned.

"Sophia, we have to get to the wedding on time."

"But I don't wanna go," her sweet voice whined. "Please don't make me go."

"But we bought you that cute blue dress and your new shoes. Don't you want to wear them?"

She sighed dramatically, "I suppose."

Sophia was the little drama queen of the family, quite the actress. She enjoyed being the center of attention, but we made sure she wasn't spoiled. That was the one thing I couldn't tolerate. She realized that value of handwork and made rather good grades like her brother. Sophia enjoyed dressing up and shopping and dancing, nothing like me at her age, but she had a sense of humor that knocked me on my ass sometimes. The things her vivid mind came up with could only come from her.

"I'll be back in ten minutes. Be up and have your teeth brushed," I warned.

"Okay!" She pulled the covers over her face.

Next on my list was Santino. He was a six year old tornado of destruction. Like me, he was uncoordinated and clumsy, which did not bode well for his adventurous spirit. He would get into everything and we had to watch him like hawks.

His room was a mess, clothes everywhere, and I tripped over three toy cars on my way to his bed. He was going to be cleaning this place up when we got home. I didn't realize how bad it was.

Santino looked nothing like my other children, nor did he look like Justin or me. He had dirty blonde hair that lightened in the sun and his eyes were clear blue. He was Carlilse's clone down to the bone structure and attitude. They even walked similarly. Of course, those two were best beds and Carlisle encouraged Santino's mischievous ways. He thought it was cute. I begged to differ. I was always worried about him.

He climbed a tall tree in the back yard last week and fell, so his arm was currently in a cast. He thought that meant he didn't have to attend the wedding, but I assured him that wasn't the case.

"Santino, wake up!" I had to be forceful with him or he would sleep the whole day. I ripped the covers from his body.

He rolled away from me and pretended not to hear me.

"I'll send your dad in here," I threatened him.

"Okay, okay." He dragged himself to the bathroom.

I went to his closet and picked out his small custom Armani suit. I laid it on his bed. "I'll be back to help you after I get everyone else ready, sweetheart."

I continued down the hall where my next little girl was sleeping peacefully.

Milania was four and the sweetest child I could have hoped for. She never fussed and rarely cried, even as a baby. She would cling to me like her life depended on it and had us all wrapped around her tiny fingers.

She looked like a cherub in bed with her small mouth opened and eyelids flickering, dreaming of ponies or candy or rainbows. I'm sure that's what she dreamed about because that's all she talked about. Her hair was a soft color like Justin's but a lot curlier, like mine.

"Baby, it's time to get up." I kissed her cheek.

"Mama?" Her hands grabbed for me. I lifted her out of bed and placed her on my hip. "We can go to the wedding today?"

"Yes, and you can wear your princess dress."

"Okay." She yawned. It took her longer to wake up than the rest of them, so I carried her around with me.

"You can help me wake up the boys," I whispered to her.

She nodded her head in the crook of my neck.

Giovanni and Dante, my other set of twins and my youngest, had just turned two. Like Roman and Sophia, they were connected in a way that I would never understand. It was strange because they fought like they hated each other, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. We tried to separate them; they refused to be far away from each other. They even slept in the same bed.

"Boys, time to get up." I turned on the lights in their large room. It was filled with all kinds of toys and areas to play. They liked to roll around on the floor so they needed space.

"Mrs. Selena, I can handle the twins." Carmela appeared out of nowhere and rushed towards the crib. "You go get ready."

"Are you sure? I don't mind feeding and changing them first."

"No, no. It's fine. I can do it all."

"Thank you." I hugged her and rushed out of the room. We were already running late.

On my way down the stairs, I heard Justin trying to rip Santino out of bed, and they were fighting loudly. I didn't even want to deal with that. I grabbed Milania's dress from her room. She could get ready with me.

"Are you up, baby?" I asked, setting her on the bed.

"I'm hungry, Mommy."

"You can have your yogurt after you get dressed." That probably wasn't the best of ideas, but it would take longer for us to get ready if she ate first.

I took my shower last night, so that I didn't even have to worry about it this morning. I chose a bright yellow dress out of the closet and a pair of bright red pumps that would match the then red belt of the outfit.

"That's pretty, Mommy."

"Thank you, Milania."

"I want to wear shoes like yours." She crawled over the blankets and pillows until she reached the footboard.

"You would break your poor ankles. You can't wear these yet."

"When can I?"

"When you're older."

"That's your answer for everything." She looked at me disapprovingly.

"You have more growing to do," I said simply.

"I hate early mornings." Justin came into the room, his hair disheveled and his face red.

"You don't have to get them up for school. This is what I go through every day," I said, zipping up my dress.

"Papa!" Milania shouted, holding up her arms.

"Bambina, you look wide eyed and beautiful this morning." He scooped her off of the bed.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and they lost themselves in their own little world. It warmed my heart so much to see Justin this way. He reserved his warm and fuzzy side for the kids, but no one would know that from his exterior.

They chatted on the bed in rapid Italian and Milania made sure to fill her father in on her dreams. Justin seemed genuinely interested. He kept her distracted while I did her hair and slipped on her dress. It was quick and easy work, which was unusual for her.

An hour later, we were all downstairs; Justin, myself, and our six kids.

Alice and Jasper were still childless, by choice. They just weren't ready, as they told us every time we hounded them for details. Alec and Jane were, likewise, childless. Although, I thought they were in the process. They were very secretive about things, though, so we didn't really know what was going on there.

"Mama, why can't I be the flower girl?" Milania asked, slowly and delicately bring a spoon full of yogurt to her mouth.

"Because you were already a flower girl last year, remember?" Justin said to her.

"And you said I did a good job."

"You did, sweetheart, but they just didn't want the same one," I explained.

She seemed to understand, going back to her breakfast.

I continued to slowly feed Giovani and Dante small pieces of fruit. They were still in their precious little pajamas since they weren't going to the wedding.

"Santino, leave Francis alone," I shouted at my son, who was poking our dog on the floor.

"He doesn't do anything anymore. Make him play with me," he whined.

Francis huffed, his fat cheeks puffing up with air.

"He's a million years old. It's only a matter of days before he drops dead," Justin said unemotionally, typing on his phone.

I hit him in the arm for being so insensitive.

"What's wrong with Fanny?" Sophia asked.

"Nothing, sweetheart. He's just sleepy. Leave him alone, Santino."

"Fine. I'll go play with Bosco." He pouted and walked away from the table, his toast only half finished.

"Do you have the wedding gifts?" I asked Justin as we packed up the kids into the car. It was a giant production to go anywhere nowadays. Diaper bags and car seats and bottles. We needed to start getting ready at least half an hour early to do anything.

"Yup." He patted the front pocket of his navy blue suit.

I stood back to look at him just a second. He was leaning over to buckle in Milania and as smooth as ever. I swear the Bieber men didn't seem to age. Justin was still the same man he was ten years ago, just a little wiser and more calm. His body was rock solid. His hair was still lustrous and his voice still sent tingles all over my skin.

I don't know how he did it because some days I wanted to just rip my hair out, but he was always my steady rock. No matter what the situation, he had a solution and plan to execute.

"Stop staring at my ass." Justin shut the door of the car with the ends of his lips pulled up slightly.

"I wasn't," I said too quickly.

He took my hand and pulled me towards him. "Mrs. Bieber, you're a terrible liar."

"I can't help it. You're so damn sexy." I blushed.

"You're still hot over me?"

"Always."

His head bent down until his lips met mine. Our hands started to roam and I trailed my nails over his hard chest and pulled at his shirt, hoping that I didn't mess it up too badly.

A throat cleared and I broke away from Justin to see Roman glaring at us, his window rolled down.

"What?" Justin said rather harshly.

"I don't want to rush anybody, but we're already ten minutes late."

"Later," I promised my husband with a final soft kiss and ran around to my side of the car.

We were off and racing towards the country club. I kept the kids from killing each other in the back on our way. Roman and Santino were especially feisty today. Those two were just total opposites in every way, and it proved to be quite challenging having them in close vicinities. They didn't get along too well, but Carlisle said that Justin and Emmett were the same growing up.

We pulled up to the venue and a valet took Justin's keys.

"You're going to behave yourself?" Justin asked Santino, fixing his tie.

"Yes, Dad." He rolled his eyes.

"I mean it. If you do anything to fuck this up, I'll send you to military school."

"Justin, don't say things like that," I whispered to him.

"Well, it's true." He looked sternly at Santino. If that boy messed up, there would be hell to pay.

Justin had a parenting style that I could only describe as... strange. I thought that as time went on, he would become more accustomed to having kids, but he never really did. On his good days, he could be the most loving and caring father in the world. But on his bad days, the kids knew to stay away. Justin, of course, loved all of our children, but he was incredibly strict and talked to the kids as if they were adults. I had to rein him in on multiple occasions when I felt he went a little too far.

Santino stayed near me as we walked into the country club. Roman and Sophia immediately found some family friends from school and went off to speak with them. The whole wedding was outside so there were tents set up around the lawn and soft lanterns that hung delicately in the sky.

It was cocktail hour and people were milling around the grass, dressed in their finest clothes. This wedding was kind of a big deal and with Justin being the head of the family, he paid for everything. I didn't know his cousin too well, but I had met her a few times and she seemed kind of shocked that Justin was willing to fund her entire wedding, but he assured her it wasn't a big deal. He did it for a lot of family members.

Alice, of course, was in charge of designing the day and making sure the bride felt special.

"Fucking finally!" I heard Rosalie's voice as we entered one of the tents with a bar.

I don't think I would ever get she or Justin to keep their language in check around the children.

"Hi, sweetheart." Rose stole Milania from my arms and swung her around. They both giggled and smiled at each other.

"You look so pretty," Milania told her.

"So do you. I love your dress."

"Mama, just bought it for me. She says I look like a princess."

"Of course you do."

"Mama, I'm going to go see Grandma." Milania squirmed out of Rose's arms.

"Okay, but don't get your dress dirty."

I saw Carlisle and Esme nearly beam until their cheeks burst as Milania ran towards them from across the tent. I knew they would occupy her for the rest of the night.

"Santino, go find your Uncle Jasper. He has a present for you," Rosalie said, ruffling up his hair.

"Really? What is it?"

"I can't tell you. That's why it's called a present."

Santino took off and disappeared into the crowd of people.

Now that the kids were all taken care of Rose let loose. She turned on me with her hands on her hips. "I've been waiting her for over an hour. What the hell took you guys so long?"

"We have kids. It takes a long time to do anything."

"Don't lecture me." Her still perfectly beautiful face scrunched up in anger. "I have kids too, but I can still be on time. I had no one to talk to since Alice is running around with her head cut off."

She and Emmett had two kids now. Both adopted, but they couldn't be happier. I just don't think it was in Rosalie's cards to get pregnant. It took her a long time to handle that fact, but she was okay with it now.

"Does it always have to be about you?" Justin sighed, taking a sip of some amber liquid, which miraculously appeared in his hand. He also brought one for me, which I took without question.

"I like talking about myself, so shoot me," she replied.

"If you weren't married to my brother, I would. Believe me."

"Okay, okay." I broke them up. "Rose, let's go sit down."

I squinted my eyes at Justin as we walked away. Those two still hated each other. If either of them had the maturity to let their decade-long feud go, it was Justin, but he wasn't doing a very good job at the moment. He promised me he would at least try. That was all I could ask for.

It felt nice to just sit back and talk to Rosalie without children around. I always kept tabs on them under the tent, but relaxed a little.

"This wedding is going to be shit," she complained to me, picking up a cloth napkin and inspecting it.

"Why are you always so negative?"

"Someone has to be." She shrugged.

"You've only gotten worse with age." I took a sip of my drink.

After another half an hour, we were joined by Jasper and Emmett. Alice was busy with the bride inside, so I doubted I would be seeing her tonight. Alec and Jane weren't even attending the wedding because they were on one of their romantic getaways. They would take off without warning and wouldn't return sometimes for a month.

I looked around the tents and saw a lot of our family; aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, and nephews. I loved it when we Biebers were together like this.

Of course, there always had to be something to get us off track.

I spotted two men in suits and sunglasses on the other side of the lawn. They looked incredibly out of place.

I sighed to myself, taking a large sip of my drink.

"What is it?" Justin whispered.

"Probably nothing." I didn't want to draw any attention to something that might just be my paranoia.

I didn't expect Justin to give up his life in the mob completely, but he had to take it slow. He had kids now and I needed him around for a couple more decades. But to give Justin credit, he had been dealing in more... legitimate areas of business in the past few years.

"Who the hell is that?" Jasper craned his neck trying to take a look at the two men I had spotted seconds before. They looked rather hostile and obviously not here for the wedding.

Justin did not seem pleased and I felt his body stiffen. I rubbed my hand across his back, letting him know to calm down. He knew there was trouble ahead, but I prayed he wouldn't do anything too drastic.

"Remember that there are kids around." I whispered to him.

He would never do anything if our children were in jeopardy. At some point, we would tell them what their father did, but they knew he wasn't just another ordinary man. We never hid our life from them, but did everything we could to protect them.

"I'll just be a second." Justin kissed my temple and then got up from the seat, fixing his navy blue suit jacket. Emmett and Jasper both followed him across the lawn.

"Where's Daddy going?" Milania ran over to me. "I want to show him something."

"He'll be back soon." I smoothed out the hair falling into her face.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, her voice so sweet and innocent.

"Come on, let's get ready for the wedding," Rose said, getting up and taking her hand.

I quickly found the rest of my kids and got to our assigned seats right up front. I needed them close; although, Santino protested about having to sit next to me instead of his grandparents, but he quieted down when he saw the unwavering look on my face. I left a seat on the end of our row open for Justin.

The wedding area was beautiful. Decorated all in white with ribbons and bright green flowers.

"Where's Dad?" Roman asked while we got situated.

"He's busy, sweetheart."

Roman's face told me that he wanted to ask more questions, but he didn't.

Justin returned just as the ceremony was beginning. The bride looked beautiful in her white dress and she walked down the aisle with her father on her arm.

As we sat down, I looked Justin over. He was trying to hide his hands from me.

"What happened?" I whispered to him during the ceremony.

"Nothing. Pay attention."

"Justin, don't lie to me." I unfolded his hands so that I could see them. His knuckles were raw and bloodied. The skin was peeling away and he tried to pull away.

"Don't make a big deal out of this."

I mumbled to myself and picked up my purse, pulling out a disinfecting wipe, "You're lucky I didn't bring my needle and thread. I would stitch your fucking knuckles up right here."

Justin pulled his hands away and slung his arm behind my chair, pulling me close. "Stop obsessing over things you can't change."

"What things?"

"I don't know. Whatever has you pissed," he whispered into my ear. "Just think happy things. We're at a wedding, with our family. Do you remember our wedding?"

"Stop trying to distract me. I'm still mad."

He held a firm grasp onto my shoulder. "Do you remember our wedding?"

I sighed, "Yes. Of course."

"Tell me what you remember?"

"You were nervous as hell," I laughed quietly.

"I was not."

"You might not have looked it, but I could tell. I know you too well."

"You certainly do, Mrs. Bieber." He kissed the side of my head.

The first time I laid eyes on Justin, I was eighteen years old. That was so long ago, but our love only grew stronger. I couldn't see him not being in my life. It just didn't make any sense to me. I could never conceive that thought. We had been through so much together and I would always love him.

Of course, all those years together weren't easy. Hell no. With six kids, and I was sure there would be at least one more before it was all said and done, it was hard.

There were times that I wanted to kill Justin, chop him up, and then bury him in the backyard. We sometimes fought like we hated each other, but that was us. That was Justin and Selena. Stubborn. Aggressive. Loud. Sometimes unreasonable. But always in love.

And that's how it would always be.

[robbiemeadow]

7 Things I’ve Learned from Becoming a Serial Dater

Since I began dating at the age of fifteen, I’ve pretty much always been monogamous and only focused on one person at a time. Then, typically what would happen is I would become attached to this one person, not in a stalker “I have a shrine made out of your hair and skin scrapings in my closet for you” kind of attachment, but in an “I really like this person” sort of way. And even though I was attached, I still had other things going on like work and school, and I would never let this person be “my everything.” Inevitably, the time would come for us to part ways, and I would feel so broken. Although I haven’t had many long-term relationships I’ve only ever had one, and we were eighty miles apart and only dated for a year and a half – it still hurts all the same.

My typical behavior after a break-up, or a parting of ways, is to sulk. I usually get pretty sad because all of the hope I had for this relationship to turn out to be “the one” is now gone and I’m left all alone once more. Then, after about six months or more of not dating, I pretty much sleep with the next person I start dating almost immediately, which isn’t exactly the best way of going about things, I admit. However, this last year after starting to date someone who turned out to be a total d-bag, instead of sulking, I chose to start dating almost immediately. I got back on Tinder and found people to go on dates with the very next week, determined not to let this guy bring me down. I’ll write more about this specific guy in another post.

Hopefully, you can take what I’ve learned from becoming a serial dater and apply it to your life, or not, whatever you choose – it’s your life.

Cushion for the Pushin’

It really does cushion the blow. Before this I had always believed that my heart needed time to heal. Although a noble thought, I would usually end up getting depressed and stop doing the things that make me happy, like working out, eating healthy, spending time with friends, etcetera. Even though I would usually snap out of that relatively quickly – most of my “relationships” haven’t been for longer than three months, so it really doesn’t make sense to sulk for more than a week or so – still, sulking for even a week after some guy turns out to be a d-bag is no way to live. Beginning to date so soon after things ended with someone you liked gets you back out and takes your mind off of things and onto better things!

More Fish

It shows that there are more fish in the sea. Do you remember that movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” when Justin Long was saying how if some girl doesn’t like him that it’s okay because he can go find a better one that probably has a bigger rack? Well, this is the same thing — if a guy treats you badly and you break up with him, or he breaks up with you, or however, it went down, getting back out there shortly after that does show you that there are more guys out there. And, the sooner you get out there, the sooner you can see that this other guy probably wasn’t “the one.” By meeting other people, you’re able to expose his flaws and find people with qualities you also like — this opens up your mind about who “the one” for you might be, and allows you to not put this guy up on a pedestal.

No Fucks

Being a serial dater teaches you to be unapologetically you, in case you weren’t already that way. When you have access to so many guys, most of whom are only trying to get into your pants, you stop giving a fuck. You start to go out on dates with barely any makeup on, your hair undone, and just skinny jeans and a tank top, because seriously, who gives a fuck!? If they don’t like you like that, then they’re not going to like you when you roll out of bed in the morning. If they can’t hang with the fact that you’re a boss and have shit going on, bye Felicia! Seriously – no one has time for that, especially a woman in her thirties. Becoming a serial dater teaches you not to apologize for who you are. Eventually, the right person will come your way, and you’ll know it when it happens.

It Keeps You Busy

If you ever need to get your mind off of something, especially someone you just ended things with, this is definitely a way to do it. I mean, so yeah, you’re technically still on a quest of finding your person, but at least you’re insanely busy. Plus, it makes you that much more desirable to the opposite sex (or same sex, whatever) when you’re busy and only has one or two spots in the week when you can meet up. Plus, if one of those is lunches, that’s all the better – that shows them that you’re interested in getting to know them as opposed to getting drunk and sleeping together. And, if you’re also juggling a career and school as well as friends and “you time” then your schedule is pretty full. Just make sure that you are scheduling time with your girls and for yourself. No one wants to be with someone who makes everything about them. Well, I suppose some guys do, but they’re usually pretty controlling and scary.

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

Finally, just because you can get laid and sleep with the entire town after a man fucks you over, doesn’t mean that you should. That doesn’t give you a “one up,” and kind of makes you slutty. That being said, if sex with the ex-person was extremely unsatisfactory or he belittled you for whatever reason, you do you, girl. Get yours! Just be safe about it. Use that rubber! Most men nowadays don’t want to use condoms, and go and get tested even less, which increases your chances of contracting an STI or STD. If the guy doesn’t want to use a condom, unapologetically order yourself an Uber and get the fuck out of there! This guy clearly doesn’t care about his health and safety, or yours for that matter.

How to Stand up For Yourself

This ties right into that ‘No Fucks’ part. Have standards. Don’t bend. You are in this for you and you alone. You’re not tied or committed to anyone until death do we part yet, so stop bending over backward for someone just because you like them. Make them show you that they’re as much into you as you are to them. Once again, if you’re busy and have a whole pool of potential men at your disposal, don’t allow some guy to try and dick you around. If he’s going to insist that you constantly come to him, or that you pick up the tab (even though you already took the time out of your day to meet him, get ready, drive to him, and picked him up), then drop his ass. Be sweet about it – thank him for his time, and then move on. If he asks to meet up again, say something along the lines of, “No thank you. I don’t think we’re a good match. I wish you the best of luck though!” And then block him if he becomes rude.

Qualities that You Like

Serial dating allows you to see the qualities of a person that you like – and don’t like. If a guy is really into you, but can never make time for you, or only once or twice a month, will that satisfy you? What about if a guy is really cute and funny but is broke almost all of the time, and you end up having to pay for all of the dates? Dating helps you to get to know yourself! Can you tolerate being with a smoker, or would you consider that settling? Make a list of all the things that are important to you, and you should probably apply most of those to a potential mate. For instance, I’m really into healthy eating and working out, so any guy that I date must also have those qualities to be classified as long-term potential. Let’s be real here; I’m not going to be the owner of a holistic health spa and married to a man who eats and McDonald’s every day of the week. Gross. Living a healthy lifestyle is important to me, and it should be really important to him, too.

All-in-all, I feel that becoming a serial dater gave me perspective. Does this mean that I’m always going to be a serial dater, no! I’ve taken a hiatus from dating and have been focusing more on my business and growing that, as well as getting a third job. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not putting myself out there! I’m still talking to people and getting to know others; I’m just not focusing on finding an LTR. And you know what? That’s okay. Eventually, the right one will come my way, but until then, I’m going to continue bossing up my life and becoming the person I need to be.

I’d love to hear your stories on serial dating in the comments section!

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Original article: 7 Things I’ve Learned from Becoming a Serial Dater

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