#these started with an armand warm up and I’m really happy I continued making them

[bethanyeliseart]

the vampire louis & co.

[jj-lynn21]

it’s Roman and reader 3rd anniversary coming up and reader wants to do something really romantic like go dancing. If course he’s against this, but comes around to the idea. So there having a good time, dancing to slow songs and that’s when Roman decides he wants to propose.

I am not big on marriage myself so that is why I was thinking Roman and Princess would just love and trust the other not to stray even without a piece of paper. But maybe a situation as you described just feels a certain way to Roman and he thinks just maybe they should get married. This is about two years from now since it is the third anniversary of when they moved into together. They have a kid. Roman is a bit more mature. Peter and Letha are already married in this Alternate reality. They have six pups/kids.

Roman and Princess: The Third Anniversary

You are gathering up toys in the playroom Roman built for the children last year. The huge, elegant dining room with full bar was cut in half by a new wall with a door between both rooms. This cut his bar in half, but there was still enough room for the oak table and chairs for 20. Tiny Furniture for children and a few comfy spots for adults were added. A bathroom just for children was put in the playroom. Cherry wood toy chests and shelves were filled with every toy a child could possibly want.

Roman still bought more when his little one expressed interest in anything. His angel got everything just like you did. There was plenty of room for Peter and Letha’s “hounds from Hell” as Roman and Peter called his kids lovingly. This was a safe area for the children to play.  

Roman came home at his usual time. Not a minute late tonight. He brought dinner from your favorite restaurant like he told you he would on the phone earlier. He checks on the little one sound asleep before changing into sweatpants and a tank.  

“How’s my Princess tonight?” He kisses your lips softly before moving down your jaw line to the sweet spot on your neck. Then moves back to nibble your ear. “Did you get to eat today or drink something vital?” He noticed you were pale.  

“I didn’t get the chance really.” You moaned slightly. “But we played all day. I read a little to relax when the little boss napped.” You turned to put your arms around him. “I cleaned up the playroom.”  

“You never have to do that Princess.” Roman wrapped around you putting your head to his chest. “We have people for that. You have been taking care of the little one all day. How about you let me baby you for a while?” He swayed. 

He led you to the table of takeout food. “It all looks delicious.” You sat down as Roman was pouring you a large wine glass of the good red stuff. You take a few sips and your color starts to come back.”I should have had some of this hour ago.”

“You need to take care of you a little more, Princess.” Roman sipped his drink. “I will come home at lunch from now on to take a turn playing so you can eat and drink something.”

“You don’t have to do that Roman.” Your eyes farrowed not wanting to change up the baby’s routine or bother Roman.  

“I think I need to because I never get to see our child.” He took a large bite of rare steak. “And I think you could use a little midday break. I could do that, or we get a Nanny.”

“No Roman.” You pouted. “I don’t want someone else raising our child.”

“Then it is settled.” Roman sipped his drink. “I come home at lunch.”  

You ate slowly. Drank all he poured you and he poured you more. “Do you know what Saturday is, Roman?”

He teases you. “Um Grocery day? Perhaps a birthday for someone?”

Your lips purse. Brows knit together. “No, you should know it is our...”

“anniversary.” He says the same time you do.

Roman chuckles. “I was just teasing you. Of course, I remember Princess. What would you like to do?”

“Dancing.” You suggested. “Can we go dancing? A night or a few hours at least for just you and me? Damn that sounds awful for a Mother to say. So selfish.”

“You are not selfish, Princess.” Roman assured you.” He thought about your proposal for a moment. “I was waiting for you to be ready. I’m not sure about the dancing part but I will find a nice place to take you for the evening. Peter and Letha can watch our little one. The kids love playing together.”

You sighed a little disappointed but put on a smile for Roman. Wherever he took you would be fabulous. “They do have the most experience with kids and the kids do love spending time together. Just keep your mind open to the thought of dancing?”

“I will think about it.” You both finish dinner. Then head to the bedroom for some quiet sex so you don’t wake the young one.  

On the morning of your anniversary, you woke seeing your toddler and Roman Reading a a story book quietly. Roman smiles when he sees you looking. “Happy Anniversary. I’ll get your coffee.” He took the little one on his hip. They brought you back breakfast in bed with your coffee.

The little one crawled beside you. “I made toast.”

“Is that so?” You took a bite of toast first. “Good job.”

Roman sat on the other side of the child already in his suit sipping his coffee. “I have to go into work for just a few hours before I give you your big surprise. He winked getting up. “You two have a great day.”

After breakfast you took your two-year-old with their book down to the playroom. You put on a warm robe to read and play. The maid cleaned up the remains of breakfast, cleaned the rest of the bedroom and worked her way downstairs. She never touched the playroom until Roman, Princess and their little one were in bed for the night.   The fruit bowl was full on the kitchen counter when you and your toddler ventured to the kitchen for lunch. After lunch you put your hyper two-year-old down for a nap. This is when you finally got to shower.

Roman calls you as you are putting on some light daytime makeup. You picked up right away. “How is your day going sweetheart?”

“It is going good.” You have the phone on speaker as you continue your routine. “How is yours going?”

“I will be home soon to swoop you away.” He had his last client for the day on hold on purpose as he talked to you. “Wear my favorite dress. The longer more sophisticated one. Peter, Letha and their pack should be there shortly.”

“I’ll be ready.” You brighten your look a little and bring out the crimson lip stain that stays on no matter how much Roman kisses you. “Well, I don’t think anyone is ever really ready for that many kids to visit but I am ready for you.”

“You better be.” He was grinning wide.  

His words. His tone. It gave you chills. The kind of chills you felt to your core. Roman’s seductive low voice was good for that. You finished getting ready just as the child woke toddling into your room as you slipped on your dress.

“Momma, pretty.”

You smiled at the child. “Thank you, baby. Are you ready to play with your cousins? They should be here soon.”

“Ya ya ya.” The young one spun around happily.  

The doorbell rang and the child dragged you down the stairs as the maid was announcing Peter and his pack. Letha and Peter hugged you as the little ones ran into the playroom to destroy it.  

“Go keep an eye on them.” Letha patted Peter’s shoulder. Peter did as she told him. “You don’t worry about a thing. Peter and I can handle one more. We have a system. “

Roman came in the door with a single rose to present to you. He had changed from the suit he left in to a sleek all black suit. A black satin dress shirt with matching tie under his jacket.  “Happy Anniversary, Baby Girl.” He kissed your cheek. “Hey, Letha. Thanks for coming over.”

“No problem.” Letha smiled. “You two have a nice time. Excuse me. I should make sure they ain’t all climbing Peter all at once.”  

She disappeared into the playroom. Laughter could be heard as Peter chased the children around the room. This put your mind at ease before you left with your love.

“Where are we going tonight?”  

“You will just have to wait to see.”  

He drove a little way out of town. He pulled into Club Class. The sign was golden light. White lights lined the walkway. Two muscular men stood at the entrance.  

“This is very exclusive.”  Roman escorted you. “Godfrey.” He told the guardians of the door. They nodded opening the door for you to enter.

You were a little surprised to see couples dance to a live Orquestra. Only five other couples. Two more sitting at what seemed to be sold gold tables with chairs to match.  

The Maitre'd took you to your table. “Your Armand de Brignac Brut Rose Champagne will be out shortly. Then your 4-course prefix meal will start.” He leaves you and Roman.  

“Oh, Roman.” You reached for his hand. “This is perfect.”

“Not yet, but it will.” Roman said slyly.  

Caviar and crackers came out with you champagne. You nibbled a little and sipped a glass of perfectly chilled champagne. A chilled caprese salad came out next. When you were finished with that course Roman surprised you by standing and offering you his hand.

“shall we dance?” He bowed to you.

You rose taking him up on his offer. He glided you across the floor like a pro. You were pleasantly surprised. He spun you out and back into him. It made your head spin. “I thought you couldn’t dance?”

“I never said that.” He smiled. “I said I didn’t like to dance. Olivia made me take lessons when I was in grade school. It was extremely embarrassing and felt very wrong. It feels right with you.” He murmurs as he looked into your eyes with love. He was satisfied that he had given you what you really wanted tonight.

You ate the next two courses as he fawned over you. He told you how lucky he was to have you. How beauty you truly were. Everything you always liked to hear come from his mouth. The more he looked into your eyes and saw sincere love the more an urge came over him. The urge to finally proposes. He knew right then he would not wait much longer before he made you legally his.  

[lovejustforaday]

2020 year in review - honourable mentions

It’s year-end list season folks. I’m gonna be listing off my top 10 for this year with some tasty reviews, but I also wanted to make an appreciation post for a few albums that didn’t make the cut, so here’s a collection of mini reviews for five albums that almost made the top 10:

WEST OF EDEN - HMLTD

Main Genres: Art Punk, Glam Punk, Art Pop A decent sampling of: Dark Cabaret, Progressive Pop, Synth Punk, Post-Punk, Punk Blues

West of Eden is what I imagine what happens when a bunch of theatre kids become punk rockers. I had no idea who HMLTD were before I checked them out this year on a whim, and boy am I glad I did. This is very eclectic punk music with pop hooks and a lot of influence from cabaret and musical theatre. Definitely the kind of album where the artist throws everything at the wall to see what sticks, so it’s a mixed bag, but there’s a lot of pay off too. “The West Is Dead” is a wondrously flamboyant opener, and “Satan, Luella, and I” is a such a massive song, with a brilliant clash of aesthetics that is one part wild west, one part gothic, and one part broadway fanfare. Also I swear they’re sampling a vocaloid voice track on “Why?” so that’s something. Check this album out if you wanna get weird. 8/10

Highlights: “Satan, Luella, & I”, “The West Is Dead”, “Where’s Joanna?”, “To The Door”

FUTURE NOSTALGIA – DUA LIPA

Main Genres: Nu-Disco, Dance Pop A decent sampling of: Funktronica, Synth Pop

Ironically, 2020 has been a really big year for nu-disco even though we can’t go out to the clubs. Likewise, this somehow ended up only being my second favourite disco/pop crossover project this year, but this is still a great album and the singles are easily the best thing to dominate the charts this year. If Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? is classy, sensual, and soulful, than Future Nostalgia is spunky and free-spirited, like the perfect soundtrack to a night out with the girls. Dua Lipa has really proven she’s a force to be reckoned with in the pop world, and I’m glad she’s starting to approach the level of stardom of artists like Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande who frankly I think she’s starting to really outperform musically. The last two tracks standout as easily being the weakest, although unlike some man-children I’m not mad at the lyrics of “Boys Will Be Boys”; it’s just a weak song musically, but not enough to make me forget how much the rest of this kicks ass. Honestly, it’s a crime that I can’t be drunk off my ass shouting the lyrics to “Hallucinate” in a gay bar right now as I’m writing this, but I digress. Very good album, proud of Dula Peep. 8/10 Highlights: “Hallucinate”, “Break My Heart”, “Don’t Start Now”, “Levitating”

SILVER LADDERS – MARY LATTIMORE

Main Genres: Ambient A decent sampling of: Post-Minimalism, New Age, Electroacoustic

I checked out this album because it was co-produced by Neil Halstead of Slowdive (my all-time favourite band), and I didn’t know what to expect from the process of a shoegaze giant producing an album of instrumental harp music. Thankfully, I’m happy to report that the end result is both unconventional and beautifully mesmerizing. Mary Lattimore’s Silver Ladders is a heavenly ambient album comprised mostly of just gently plucked harps, warm reverb, and the occasional addition of sparse bass and synths. Lattimore’s harp work is intricate but subtle, and the songs make a lot of good use of the space between notes, especially on the title track “Silver Ladders”, a haunting siren song that ends in a crescendo of shimmering echoes. I find the shorter ambient pieces on the album work a lot better than the two darker, longer pieces “Til A Mermaid Drags You Under” and “Don’t Look” which I find to be a tad bit dreary. Still, like all good ambient music, this entire project is a lot more than just ‘background music’ and it really captures the imagination of the listener. I want to get lost at sea listening to the cold air of Mary Lattimore’s harp, but I’ll gladly settle for listening to Silver Ladders on the bus ride home instead. 8/10

Highlights: “Silver Ladders“, “Sometimes He’s In My Dreams”, “Chop on the Climbout”

SHRINES – ARMAND HAMMER

Main Genres: Abstract Rap, Experimental Rap, East Coast Rap A decent sampling of: Conscious Rap, Hardcore Rap

Definitely my favourite album cover of the year, and it’s a completely real photo of an incident that actually happened so that’s pretty crazy. As for the music, Shrines is a hypnotic, cryptic hip hop album with hard leftist politics and very interesting production that sounds like the sonic manifestation of a head full of cynical thoughts. Billy Woods and Elucid spit rhymes with a lot of poetic frustration, expressing the feeling of utter disenfranchisement by the power systems of classism and racism that dominate their society. The first half of the album is mostly tracks that are energetic like the absolutely ferocious “Leopards”, while later tracks like “Flavor Flav” and “Ramesses II” are mostly mellow and bitter. The beats can be disorienting and confusing, and some of the tracks are kinda formless, so its definitely not an album to dance to, but Shrines is great for a more introspective listen on a late night walk. If I had to pick an album that captured the zeitgeist of 2020, this is probably it. Great music and important subject matter. 8/10

Highlights: “Leopards”, “Dead Cars”, “Flavor Flav”, “Pommelhorse”

ISLAND – OWEN PALLETT

Main Genres: Chamber Folk A decent sampling of: Art Pop, Modern Classical, Ambient

Owen Pallett is an indie folk artist who has had one foot in the sophisticated world of modern classical music for some time now. Likewise, Pallett’s 2020 concept album Island is grand and orchestral with distinct movements. Continuing the saga of his character Lewis from his 2010 LP Heartland, the new album is equally philosophical and complex, telling the story of Lewis being metaphorically stranded after killing his manipulator god at the end of the last album in the saga. The majority of this album is brilliantly nocturnal in a way that is neither creepy nor unsettling, instead conjuring the invigorating fantasy of a mysterious and enchanting night of a full moon. “Paragon of Order” is particularly enchanting, and while this album only sits at #11 on my year-end list, this one track in particular is probably in my top 3 of the year because it’s just so incredibly magical and captivating in a way that feels like it’s lifting me to a heightened sensory experience every time I listen to it. The last few tracks are a little confusing, especially “Lewis Gets Fucked into Space”, taking a somewhat abstract direction that deviates from the gorgeous imagery of the first half that I fell in love with. Nevertheless, Island is an album I’ll want to revisit on nights when I’m feeling excited or inspired. 8/10

Highlights: “Paragon of Order”, “--> (i)”, “Perseverance of The Saints”, “--> (iii)”, “--> (ii)”, “The Sound of The Engines”

[blackmuzak8484]

nortey dowuona’s best of 2020

to be completely honest, I decided to do this entirely for TSJ. otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered at all. Best end lists are for music nerds and billboard chart nerds and industry vultures, and i happen to be subscribed, in the discord and in the comments of the youtube vids of these folk. so, i decided to pick 10 out of random from the big best of 2020 i was compiling for the whole of the year, which I was gonna post to this Tumblr at the end of the damn year, but I guess I can just post the link to the playlist in the bottom of this post. Here, i’m gonna write about 10 songs I personally love, and pick out a few artists i specifically loved:

artist of the year.

RAP Ferreira put out his best album and best verses in a year everybody either stagnated, fell off or got rendered irrelevant by the world at large. He was ebullient, hilarious, thoughtful and even surprisingly honest. I enjoyed the fact that now he’s begun to create a real platform for many talented folx, and I hope he continues to do that in the margins and make even more beautiful music in the years to come.

rookie of the year.

Enny by a mile. Everybody else who debuted this year got hamstrung by the pandemic but she created 3 great songs, each thoughtful, insightful and a joy. Apparently she just started publicly releasing music to a large audience, and I hope she gets better and better, and even gets bigger than J-

most pleasant surprise.

Vic Mensa’s V Tape. An artist who I though had no more moves left completely turned around his whole career with a fantastic performance at Lollapalooza, a fantastic fleet of features and tis gorgeously produced EP which had some of his most brilliant songs on it. I love it all, Vic Mensah is well and truly back. Welcome back bro. (ALSO, DROP THE DRILL TRACK.)

GREAT THING A GHANAIAN ARTIST DID.

Strongman Burner, Amarae, Okunta Kinte, Vic Mensah in general.

cool things my friends and classmates did.

Justine Darcenne’s #4TheBaeless. Valencia Rae’s Siren thyhomebodies’s Coming of Age. (Phil, a producer in the group, made his own studio!) Brad built his own computer. petit abri put a track on APT9 Record’s compiliation album Volume II. khaalid anderson’s transitions. (khaalid will also be performing at Beats & Brunch on January 23, 2021 at 11 am.) Yannick Paul’s Bear Fruit. The Big Climax’s This Is Ya Boy kxng jetson’s Waves (ft. Kokko Williams & Mike Mezzl) Nicole Gonzalez performed in The Composer’s Melody. Victoria Marie released a bunch of beaufiful covers on her Insta, @toriiii_marie @ph0ssy_jaw works as a counselor online. Pay her at her PayPal. Johnny Aperano Yoba was on People AND Vogue. Dalitso is a wonderful pianist at his church back home in Zambia. Kobina is a fantastic drummer at his church. Kayla graduated with a BS in Music Technology and Industry! Damian been cookin on his insta. Travis graduated! (Look out for Clan of Dragons.) Rorghino Flores made a documentary! Francis (and Animax FYB) put out Mmofra on AmaLexPrime! (play it with yo kids.) A Hype has been dropping crazy all year, roll by his SoundCloud and check out Persistence Of Memory. Reina H been doing great covers on her Insta, @challenges_inlife. Hannah placed music on C. B. S.

best albums of the year (that nobody’s written about).

Maya Huyana -1991 DaWeirdo - Broke and Ugly $ilkMoney - Attack of the Future Shocked, Flesh Covered, Meatbags of the 85 VI Seconds - Because Why Not/Never Knows Best Erik Cain - Heart & Soul Vol. 2 Dimitri & the Scarecrow - Messenger is Sender (from 2015, finally got released onto streaming this year, still pretty great and another great Zimbabwean rapper for us to all fawn over, just like billy woods) Flowking Stone - Gifted 1 The Hoodies - Incommunicado Jayy Grams - Every Gram Counts Domo Genesis/Mike and Keys - Just in Case1/2 Madwiz - God’s Gold Teeth Maez301 - Hasaan Daara J Family - Yaamatele Dai Burger - Dessert EP TeePhlow - Road To Phlowducation II Tef Poe/Blvck Spade - Preacher in the Trap Terrell Hines - Portal One: The Mixtape redveil - niagara Nyukyung - Trap Harmonix AdrianXpression - Sucka Deante Hitchcock - Better (Deluxe) maassai & jWords - ve.loc.i.ty tobe nwigwe - cincoriginals everything Kelsey Lu did this year.

strangest things happening in music in general.

vic mensah actually making a great record. goldlink going through a narcissistic collapse and winding up making the best music of his career. redveil blowing up off Fantano calling him wack. pharoahe monch finally making a rock pivot and it actually works. meet me@the garden coming 10 years too late for my 14 year old self. RAP Ferreira being in the NYTimes, selling a vinyl record for $72, creating an actual nostrum grocers in a video game so we can listen to his next record. The entirety of the playboi carti phenomenom. The entirety of the lil uzi vert phenomenom. The entirety of Chance’s instagram EP being far more money worthy then the entirety of the Big Day and yet being released on Insta and not immediately monetized. Deante Hitchcock releasing a great album and being completely forgotten armand hammer releasing their underground kings wayyy too early. my ass continually not actually looking into amapiano despite always loving it when I review it. several good songs needing to be tacked on to a prior youtube vid as an ad for me to find them instead of actually listening to the artists. santan dave still releasing good verses after he made his illmatic. (expect his new album to suck.) slowthai becoming cake. (we let that go way too far.) Guapdad and BfB Packman being wonderful. Finding out BfB PAckman is a better rapper than Sada Baby. John Boyega putting on Ego Ella May. Having to admit Young Dolph was good all this time and i missed out like a fool.

best tv performance.

Chance The Rapper’s “A Chi-Town Christmas.” IDK’s “Change The Channel.” Sa-Roc’s Tiny Desk Concert. Chika in general. Robert Glapser’s “This Changes Everything (ft. Denzel Curry).” SZA at the Roots Picnic. Sampa The Great at the Roots Picnic. RAP Ferreira in general. Umi’s “Introspection Live Show.” Alexa Esperanza’s cover of “Is It A Crime.” Bad Bunny in general. the jwords, nappy nina and MIKE performances at Satellite Syndicate

most embarrassing piece of music i love with all my heart

Logic’s No Pressure. In all sense of the words I should not love this album like I love my siblings but I do. It is beautiful.

best 10 songs of this year objectively

1 - RAP Ferriera - An Idea Is A Work Of Art (ft. Mike Ladd) [prod. by Kenny Segal, mr. carmack and Mike Parvizi]

I know, I know. In all honesty Doldrums should be here. Then Noz put it on his best list and I had to be all ChiTown Go-Getter and pick the next better thing: this. And in all honesty, it has the best lyric RAP spits on the album: “we build better answers.” But it’s not just that, it’s RAP’s most animated performance, the most dexterous piece on the whole album and the most gorgeous beat, a loping bassline sliding behind the flatfooted drum, allowing Mike Ladd, his musical father, to gently drift through, saying, “what if royalty depised us?” and knowing the only gold is soul and giving it to all of us, all us maggots and vultures and locusts and weevils, to hold to the light so we can finally see. On the quest to get open and free, we continue.

2 - Chika - U Should [prod. by Lido]

I heard this the night it dropped and shot 2 insta videos playacting as it played. But apart from that, it’s a intimate, beautiful song about getting to know a new lady love, so tenderly sung it might melt and disappear if not held gently, with a sweeping guitar lick and purring trumpets sliding all over the place, Chika softly holding each frayed piece together into a considered, gorgeous piece - wait, she’s talking her shit.

3 - Issa Gold - Boys Don’t Cry [prod. by Kingjet & Sherwyn and Matt Zara]

The only reason this isn’t number one is because it dropped on Christmas Eve. But otherwise, it’s a openheart letter to us all. “it’s a lonely path being different,” Issa says, swimming in the melted ice caps as he once danced happily on the edges of melting glaciers that failed to drown him, looking at the world that keeps hurting his heart, yet he still opens his eyes and smiles, and dances. The heavy drums are so bouncy the whole song suddenly flies, formerly a hidden murmur becoming a bright sunlit flight across the sky so we can all see. I can’t wait to see Tempus, if it’s anything as good as this was.

4 - Deante Hitchcock - Growing Up/Mother God [prod. by Brandon Phillips-Taylor]

In all honesty, “Growing Up” is really not the best song on Better. It’s a sweet, happy song with a smooth, crackling bassline with soft, ghostly synths, but still kinda ok. It’s the song added at the end, “Mother God”, that has warm, sizzling piano chords and gorgeous singing in the back. It’s one of the few time I’ve ever heard a man pay homage to the woman in his life and to the God above while being entirely sincere and not faking the funk. The way he praises his mom, his lady, remembering the women in his family taking care of him and him foolishly neglecting Breonna due to his overburdened mind feels full of details, remembrances, explanations and praises. Plus, it actually makes sense that God, if she exists (she does) is a woman since -

5 - Yana Perrault - whiskey and weed [prod. by slate]

Apparently, Yana Perrault is verified now. Excellent. {YES YES MY GOD YESS}, It means more folks know about how great this song, and Yana herself is. If I had any sense, I would’ve written up 12:21 as the best song of 2018, but such is life. Anyway, we have this smooth, bass heavy slinker with shimmering percussion and lumbering drums about hooking up with a former flame who’s “sober” yet keeps on calling Yana to break their sobriety, “know we ain’t talked in a while but you still know my address,” she wryly mentions. As the beat sprints away under a warm cocoon of accapella echoes, it mirrors a relationship so tenuous it might disappear into the wind. Yet still strong enough to have whiskey on call.

6 - Marlon Craft - Culture Sick Freestyle [prod. by Cormill]

Apparently this was supposed to be a shot at Flex. And since Flex is a woman beater and a lame, good for him. Shouldn’t have even gone on Flex to be honest, but then again neither should Jay Critch or Tyler or Black Thought and besides, I watch those freestyles too. And on the freestyle, Marlon frankly put things in perspective. “You don’t want us to better, you just want to be cool still.” This describes all of rap media to be real. And tellingly, it only has 310,000 views. Methinks nobody really wants real. But I do. Thank u Marlon, you continue to be the best white rapper alive. (Nowhere near the best rapper tho, and if Token hadn’t fell off -)

7 - Miah - Cascades [prod. by Cedes]

I’m sideeyeing the boy Miah cuz I had to search up his Audiomack to find the producer’s name (it’s Cedes, and they have a really great avalanche of Drake Type Beats is you like that kind of thing). Were you trying to trick folk into thinking you produced it yourself? You don’t need to do that shit. Especially since you’re writing stuff like “back in high school all my peers were tryin to hit the league / until the league too far from reach so they tap dancing over beats.” When you can frankly break down life that clearly, don’t be trying to hide producer’s names unless you actually learn to produce too. Plaster your name all over that shit.

8 - Justine Darcenne - Off Days [prod. by Mikhail Miller] / Enny - Peng Black Girls (ft. Amia Brave [prod. by Paya]

Justine is indeed my classmate, but that’s not why this song is here. it’s here because it’s a nice little guitar driven song with a spellbinding bridge that’s the best thing I’ve heard her do yet. And I’mma keep it short cuz I already wrote this up at the Singles Jukebox.

Enny released this soft, cushiony record with washed out synths over bulky drums and floated FLOATED over them without even trying to run in the tar, saying frankly, “He said to me, 'they put guns in the streets, that’s what they wanted for me.’ And I said, ‘G, someone can fix you a plate but no one can force you to eat.’” After all, why not try to live for something greater than what the world has expected you to be. And Amia sings, “We’re gon be alright, ok?” with the joy and excitement of someone realizing the words coming alive on their tongue. One of the best songs of this miserable year, and it’s kinda funny watching Jorja accidentally Drake out Amia and even Enny (and by funny I mean irritating.)

9 - Tobi Lou - okay (ft. Dreezy) [prod. by Matteo Woods & Dilip]

Fun fact: Dilip did some great songs with Otxhello, a producer who recorded and mixed 2 records on my first album. That again is not why this song is here. The warm, swinging synths and heavy, bouncy drums are why this is here. Oh, and Tobi’s goofy, silly lyrics and his surprisingly effective Missy Elliott tribute are great too. But obviously, the verse that vaulted this into top 10 was Dreezy, which opens with such a openhearted line, “i can’t help it, it’s too hard to say I’m sorry.” And every line is harder than the last, until she closes with “and I ain’t talkin frontals but we got the city sown up.” Absolutely amazing.

10 - Strongman Burner - Pilolo (ft. KelvynBoy) [prod. by Nixie]

The sweet, gooey synths are poured over the soft, zipping and smooth drums as the wiry bass whirls between Kelvyn’s soft, thin crooning as Stoneman tap dances over the drums, both desperate and defiant, trying to salvage a sinking relationship that he knows is already gathering coral and snappers. It’s the best afropop song of the year and yet it still has a Nigerian on it (well, I put 4 Nigerians on here, next year I’m rectifying that.) And they even did a song together last year , not as good as this. At all. (still pretty good tho.)

best 10 songs i love (but not enough to write full paragraphs for, I already put 10 in and this is already 5 goddamn pages)

11 - Logic - Heard ‘Em Say

best song on the project that isn’t Dadbod but at least it isn’t tempting fate.

12 - Deqn Sue - Creep

I already love this for having a gorgeous bridge, and is cute af. Yes Sue, you can creep.

13 - Quelle Chris & Chris Keys - Sudden Death/ka - i love {moms, mimi, kev}

QUELLE CHIS CAN SANG SANG./ka can heart heart write.

14 - IDK - Square Up (ft. Juicy J)

I don’t know why this is here either but this slaps regardless.

15 - Nappy Nina - Modestly (ft. Maassai)

Maassai is creating some of the best raps out here. so is Nappy Nina.

16 - Kehlani - Lexii’s Outro (ft. Lexii Ajaii)

Let’s celebrate our great rappers when they’re alive (and this includes me. Pls Chika, don’t win Best New Artist.)

17 - Samad Savage - Goodnight

What Travis Scott should’ve tried to be instead of what he is now. Samad still dope af regardless.

18 - Bad Bunny - Si Veo Tu Mama

The way Bad Bunny actually hits that last note makes me feel so excited and alive.

19 - Fat Tony - Back In The Saddle

I fucked up. But I’m getting back in the saddle, back in the saddle next year. NO NIGERIANS ALL NIGERIENS. #ENDSARS tho.

20 - Lady A - the truth is loud

Why am I the only one who has this on a best list? I have 34 bot followers. Vibe, step it up.

best of 2020 music right here folxs.

worst music things of the year:

The Pop Smoke album. Just in all areas. (Better win that Grammy tho.) Travis Scott in general. (So loud and empty and boring.) Big Sean’s Detroit 2. (why does this exist? Just put out Deep Reverence and Detroit Night Cypher and leave everything on the cutting room floor fo the next album.) Remembering all the great rappers who are dead or incarcerated. No Kendrick album (just leaks. Not good enough.) J. Cole and Noname beefing and Noname getting strung up by twitter. Jay Rock pushing being anti-vaccinations. The realization that Normani might never drop a single record ever again. Tory Lanez in general. Joyner Lucas making actually good songs and falling off almost immediately. Cardi B in general. Anything positive being said about steven Universe songs. Luzamity shipping (until it’s canon please stop! Willuz is RIGHT THERE!)

[izzy-b-hands]

Fictober 2019, Oct. 16th, “Listen. No, Really Listen.”

Fanfiction

Fandom: The Pacific

Pairings: Eugene “Sledgehammer” Sledge/Merriell “Snafu” Shelton

Rating: G

Warnings: None

2,291 words

I’ve never written them as having kids, but I figured I’d give it a shot on this prompt. Baby gets left on their front step, and what are they to do?

“You got Snafu, how many I help you?” Snafu’s voice was difficult to hear between the din in the background and... “Is that a baby?” 

“He got left on the doorstep,” Eugene fussed as he tried to adjust the baby to his other shoulder, away from the phone, even as the baby tried to shove his little face and head full of dark curls into his chest. “I was cleaning the house, the doorbell rings, by the time I get there whoever rang it is gone, but there’s a basket and-” 

“Baby?” Snafu asked. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Maybe six months old, skinny, and upset as can be right now. I ran all up and down the road looking for whoever left him, but whoever it was must have moved fast.” 

“Maybe they’re thinkin’ your old man still lives there? I mean, if you absolutely had to drop a baby somewhere, with a doctor would be a good spot,” Snafu said.

“That might be it. There’s a note in the basket, but I’ve got my arms full right now so I haven’t read it yet,” he sighed as he bounced gently, hoping it would ease the baby’s sobbing. “I hate to ask this, but would the shop let you come home early today?” 

“Hold on,” Snafu said, and Eugene could hear him move away from the phone just a bit. “Hey! Somebody left a kid in our driveway! Can I head home, give Gene some help?” 

Not far enough away from the phone, however, and Eugene cursed at the combined volume of Snafu yelling, the shop din, and the baby on his other shoulder. He could deal with noise, but it was an awful lot right at the moment.

“That’s fuckin’ weird!” came the shouted reply from someone in the shop. “Yeah, go home. We got it for today!” 

“You and the kiddo hold tight; I’m on my way,” Snafu hung up, and Eugene all but tossed the phone back down to the set. 

“I know. You’re hungry, tired, probably more hungry than anything else honestly, but I don’t have much in the way of food for you, buddy,” Eugene soothed as he walked them back to the kitchen and checked the fridge again, as if the contents (beer, half a loaf of bread, and a wedge of cheese) would have somehow changed. “We need groceries, and even if we’d gotten ‘em yesterday, don’t usually buy for a baby, so no idea if we’d have anything...that isn’t what you wanna hear though. Hell, I’m sayin’ it, and it isn’t what I wanna hear.” 

“Dad’s in his office hours now, or I’d call him and have him bring something for you,” he continued, bouncing gently on his feet, hoping to soothe the painful sounding crying from the baby. “Shit. Should have had Snafu pick something up...” 

He shifted the baby to his hip as he went back to the phone, and dialed Mary and Sid. 

“Phillips’ residence,” Mary sounded so warm, so cheerful, so like someone who might have something fit for a baby in her fridge. 

“Mary, I have a baby.” 

“All on your own? Well, color me impressed. Does Snafu know, or is that a surprise for when he gets home?” 

Eugene sighed. “Funny. He does know, and he’s on his way home, but I have no food suitable for a baby, and I didn’t think to ask Snafu to get us anything, and the little guy is just bawling his eyes out, and I mean, I’ve never heard a baby cry this hard, and I don’t think they can hurt themselves doing that, but what if they can, and-” 

“Eugene,” Mary interrupted softly. “How about I bring over some things the baby can probably eat, and then we can all relax until Snafu gets home?” 

“Okay, yeah. Thank you; I’ll find a way to pay you back, have you and Sid over for dinner this weekend maybe, or-” 

Mary laughed. “Just relax. I’ll be over quick as I can.” 

It helped, knowing the cavalry was on the way, but the baby didn’t understand that, and his pitiful cries weren’t lessening.  

“Buddy...you gotta calm down. Why am I telling you that? You don’t know what ‘calm’ is, really. And why should you? You got reason to cry,” he hummed as he tried another circuit around the first floor of the house. “Look, here’s Queen! Say hi to the kitty!” 

He knelt down to try and show him Queen, but Queen only sniffed the baby’s foot, looked at him as if to say ‘Really? This is the best you can do?’ and flounced away upstairs. 

“Okay. How about the backyard, huh? We’ll go see what’s out there,” he said as he went to the front door, unlocked it for Snafu and Mary, and then went out to the backyard. 

The afternoon was turning into the soft early evening, and the sun filtered through the trees that lined the edges of the yard, just outside of the fence Snafu had built to make sure the cats stayed safe whenever they went out. Birds chirped in the branches that extended over the fence, flitting through the leaves. 

It was one of Eugene’s favorite sections of the yard, along with the garden, and he headed straight for it. 

“Look, see all the birds? They make noise too, but they sing. If we stop crying, we can hear them better.” 

The crying slowed just a bit, as the baby started to peer around the yard, eyes red and obviously tired, little lower lip stuck out in a pout. 

“That’s better, see? Listen,” he said softly. 

The crying started to veer up in volume, but he went closer to the branches, pointing out the tiny sparrows, the swallows, the robins, and others hopping about. “No, really listen.” 

Finally, the crying slowed to sniffles and the occasional whine as the bird song surrounded them. 

“Calms me down too, being out here with them,” he said, gently patting the baby’s back. 

He didn’t pay much attention to how long they stayed there, the baby calming enough to switch from sniffling to babbling, particularly something that sounded like ‘bird’, a chubby hand pointing to the birds as they fluttered by. 

“You two still hungry?” Mary’s voice startled him back to reality, and he turned to find her and Snafu stood at the back of the yard, smiling. 

“How long have you two been there?” 

“Long enough to know you were all panicked for nothing. Look at you, you got this,” Snafu replied. 

“Not really,” he blushed. “Just lucky he likes the birds too.” 

“Well, why don’t you say good night to the birds and come inside. We got groceries, and that note read too. Think you’ll be interested to give a read as well,” Mary said and lead the way inside. 

They settled in the kitchen, and the baby turned to him with the tiniest, saddest look on his face at the lack of birdsong. The fussing that started up was quiet, but he sighed internally at the thought of the baby being upset again, when he’d just gotten him happy. 

“Gimme. You need a break,” Snafu said, taking the baby from his arms. 

The baby stared at Snafu wide-eyed as Snafu settled him on his hip, murmuring something in French, almost instantly quieting him. 

“How...” Eugene stared. 

“Lot of neighborhood siblings. Used to babysit for most of the neighbors once I was old enough. Like having a bunch of little brothers and sisters,” Snafu replied as Mary handed him a bowl of what looked like strained peaches and a spoon. 

“You gotta eat up nice, okay? We don’t got a high chair for ya,” Snafu said to the baby as he sat and set the baby on his lap. He moved a spoonful of peaches towards the baby, who instantly batted the spoon out of his hand and onto the floor. 

Snafu sighed. “Okay, alright, Armand. I asked for that, didn’t I? Invited it by saying anything at all...” 

Mary snickered. “You jinxed it is what ya did, Snaf. Didn’t he, little man?” 

The baby, apparently named Armand, finally gave them a smile as Snafu handed him back over so he could clean the floor. 

“You read that note, and I’ll take Armand back in a moment and we’ll try again,” Snafu said. “Not gonna toss the spoon to the floor this time, right? “

“Yah,” Armand babbled. 

“Here,” Mary said, and handed over the note from the basket. “You read, and I’ll help Snaf.” 

“I’ve got it,” Snafu fussed. 

“I’m here to help, let me,” Mary insisted. 

As they playfully argued, Eugene bounced Armand on his leg and set to reading the note. It was short: 

I’ve watched you and who I can only assume is your husband for awhile now. I’ve been struggling to keep Armand and myself fed and safe since my parents kicked me out, and I know I can’t keep it up much longer. I have enough money to start over somewhere else, and as much as I don’t want to give my baby boy up...I want him to be safe, and healthy, and happy, and with people caring for him who are all those things too. You both seem like those people, who won’t judge me too harshly for my actions. Please, raise him well like I know you will, and let him know his momma loved him very much. 

Thank you.

It was unsigned, and in handwriting his didn’t recognize. Who knew how far away the woman had come from, or how far away she was now. He regretted he couldn’t somehow reach her and help her, but if nothing else, he could do as she asked, as long as Snafu was ready for it as well.

“So...we have a baby?” 

Snafu gave him a soft, careful glance as he stood up from the floor. “I mean...I know the other options. Had a sibling end up there...foster care, and all that. Never did hear from her again. So...” 

“We have a baby,” Eugene smiled. 

“We have a baby,” Snafu grinned. “I mean, there’ll be stuff we have to work out. Who goes in to set up him for school, and all that, but with everything we’ve seen so far...think we can figure that all out. Right, little man?” 

Armand giggled, and it felt right in a way he hadn’t realized it would. Fatherhood had crossed his mind before, and he’d talked it over with Snafu, but they’d figured there would simply be no way to adopt without the less kind and tolerating sort of people...asking questions. Getting in their business, keeping them from being a happy family. They were lucky in that overall, there weren’t many like that, but even the few could make things difficult. 

“Congratulations are in order!” Mary chirped as she tossed the used rags into their sink, the mess cleaned and the floor back to shining. “Let me call Sid, and on some friends. You’ll need so much...diapers, a crib, some toys of course, changing table, and that’s just the bare bones...we’ll get you taken care of, give me five minutes!” 

“We can buy some of it,” Eugene protested. That was a lot of kindness to ask from everyone. 

“At this hour? From who? You need at least the diapers and bed tonight, so don’t you argue with me,” Mary replied. “And keep feeding him! He’s happy for the moment, but he’s still gotta be hungry!” 

They watched her head for the phone, and laughed. 

“The hell would we do without her?” Snafu said as he picked up the spoon and bowl and started to try and feed Armand again.

“Be pretty goddamn hopeless, I think. Thank heavens for Mary,” he replied as caught some of the peach falling from Armand’s mouth. “Gotta actually try and get in his mouth, Snaf.” 

“I’m tryin’,” Snafu replied. “Peach not your thing, buddy?” 

As if made of pure and adorable spite, Armand swallowed the next spoonful down happily.

Snafu smiled. “What a little asshole. How is possible to love someone that impossible so damn much?” 

“Same way I love you,” Eugene smiled, even as a spoonful of peach hit him in the face. 

“Spoon slipped,” Snafu giggled. 

“Lies, but I still love your ass,” Eugene shook his head. “Someone is gonna need a bath after this.” 

“Nah,” Armand said, in the process spitting out his current spoonful of peach onto his already stained onesie. 

“Also lies,” Eugene laughed. “C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up before the neighborhood comes over with things for you.”

“Nah,” Armand replied. 

“Wanna bet ten bucks his first word is no?” Snafu asked as they headed for the bathroom upstairs, passing Mary, still on the phone, a notepad full of notes in front of her. 

“I’ll be happy no matter what it is,” Eugene said. “Just can’t wait to hear it.” 

“Maybe his mom’ll reach back out,” Snafu said quietly. “Would love to let her know what it is. Give her updates on him.” 

“I hope she will,” Eugene replied. “I want her to know he’s gonna be safe, and happy, and healthy. And clean, in a little bit.” 

By the time everyone was over, with clothes, diapers, toys, and just about every other baby-related item they could have wanted or needed, he was. Dressed in a fresh diaper and clothes, he was a charmer to everyone, and it felt like the house was complete with him there. They both knew there was plenty difficult to come, probably sleepless nights as Armand adjusted to a new home, and more as he grew, but they were ready for it. The good and the bad, and everything in between.