#these singers have so many songs that will make you wanna write btw

[ash-mcj]

I have a very specific type/vibe of music I like to listen to when I write, and it’s taken me awhile to find singers to put in my playlist. So, if you happen to listen to any of these and want similar suggestions, you might like the others in this list! If you have similar-vibe singers or songs, please let me know ❤️

Lennon Stella, Gracie Abrams, Sara Kay, Alec Benjamin, Anson Seabra, Sasha Alex Sloan, Luz, carobae, Zoe Wees, Holly Humberstone, Sody, JP Saxe, Hayd, Matt Maeson, Phoebe Bridgers, Jordan Suaste, Lizzie McAlpine, Lexi Jayde, Lana Del Rey, Rhys Lewis, Austin Blue, Avery Lynch

[omegalomania]

hey gang what time is it its time for another joe trohman podcast. this actually came out like a month ago but i missed it until isa linked it to me and because i like doing these heres a highlights reel

the host says he appreciates that joe opened the book with the question of whether or not satan fucked his wife to which joe replies "well you know, when you have kids, sometimes you wonder that. you truly wonder what are these demons. i love my children btw they're phenomenal."

sometimes it does get tiring playing the same songs over and over. joe says that "thnks fr th mmrs" has a really good energy and tempo that keeps it exciting to play live

he talks about playing a really short iheartradio christmas show pre-pandemic and nobody in the crowd knew "sugar we're goin down" since they were only familiar with the more recent hits like "centuries" and "uma thurman" and joe said that it made him fall in love with sugar all over again in a weird way ldjfldkfd

he laments recently getting the chance to see wu-tang, nas, and busta rhymes at the hollywood bowl but he didn't go

his love language is giving gifts! he got his brother a custom drum set (which his mom attempted to throw out)

he reiterates that when writing the book he didn't want to be mean to any of his bandmates cause he likes them and thats not what the book is about! the host makes a joke: "like how you guys had that threesome with simple plan...i understand, you don't wanna get into that!" joe is offended that he clearly doesn't know how many guys are in simple plan. "there's more than three guys in there! the orgy was far larger than you give it credit!"

he doesnt remember any other names that the band could have been called but he does think fall out boy is a pretty terrible name for a band. "i can't believe i'm in a band called fall out boy."

discussions of the band origin and how joe funded it with his bar mitzvah money ("fall out boy, funded by judaism!") but when asked about financial gains from the band he says they all split everything evenly and it's one of the things that's helped them last this long

talking about scott ian and the damned things and he talks about how managing a supergroup is like herding cats because everyone is so busy with their respective groups. he says he'd LOVE to do a third damned things record though!

he talks about how weird it was to have this boy band aspect to them when they were at their peak pre-hiatus, because they were all hardcore kids and punk kids.

he recalls that around this time patrick asked their manager, with visible concern, "are we...the nsync to panic at the disco's backstreet boys?"

he's glad that they've outgrown that and kept pushing forward and looking forward, and by now they're no longer a boy band. "we're a man band!"

he thinks it's kind of neat to see the emo movement of the aughts become nostalgic and cool now ("it was not fucking cool when we were doing it [...] we stuck around for long enough to Not Be Lame"), but it's a big thing for fall out boy that they do not want to be a nostalgia act and they want to keep making new albums.

the host semi-jokingly says "so you and panic at the disco are not gonna go out on tour, is what you're saying." joe says "no" very flatly and i lose my shit.

he denies that fall out boy is working on any specific new music. he says they're just piecing things together organically and that no real album has coalesced. (note: this episode aired 11/12, ~2 weeks before the fob8 tribune ad)

he talks a bit about working with brian posehn on the axe and how much he loved doing it! he calls the whole story a metaphor for dealing with pain and trauma and the different ways there are to confront that stuff. he said the axe is coming out as a trade "soon" so people who don't have a subscription to heavy metal can read it

his first concert was tom petty and the heartbreakers when he was 10 or 11

he says the two things that matter most for a band's live show are the drummer and the singer. he then proceeds to be extremely sweet about patrick and andy.

"patrick, he's incredible, he's so gifted, and he's worked so hard with his voice lessons and figuring out how to sing from the diaphragm properly, and he really knows how to work through when he's sick and having real issues, so he's quite a trooper."

"and andy is just a great drummer. when he thinks he's had a bad day i'm like...yeah. sure. i don't think you know what that is."

he did not get laid in high school. first time was in a shared tour bus, listening to testament (a thrash metal band), when he was 19. (they never saw each other again)

since testament was the soundtrack the host asks if he ever gets a reaction whenever joe hears chuck billy (testament's lead vocalist). joe says without missing a beat, "when i see him i do, that's for sure."

he is an avid bowler. he has a wristguard and a spare ball and he used to take lessons. he calls it great stress relief!

[theloveinc]

okay scrolling through ur bkg tag and saw ur tags on drummer bkg post!! (which love btw!! the whole jealousy song is so him dhdbsjsna like hes such a wet soggy cat i need him) ANYWAY and u saw japanese breakfast and u how u thought the lead singer and guitarist were dating but they’re actually married 😭😭😭😭 have you read crying in h mart? it’s about her mother dying of cancer and their relationship but she also writes about her and her husband getting together and oh my god their relationship is so beautiful and they love each other so much. when i saw them in concert anytime they looked at each other id tear up. yes i am crazy! anyway!! i was also high as hell at that concert too!! they put on an excellent show. i got to see them another time when they opened up for paramore too which was very cool

i've actually had a copy of crying in h-mart for YEARS except i've only ever managed to get about three chapters in, i think because when i first started it, i ended up getting a little swamped with school...

but it's still on my shelf WAITING FOR ME and this makes me want to pick it up again!! i know my friend finished it last month and put it on her rec list (also my mom loves it weirdly??), so i'll def put it back in my current pile of to-reads!! (which is huge rn because i have so many books i wanna donate to the classroom i'm working in, but actually want to finish first asdfajdkaj).

anyway, YES, I was BLOWN away by their performance!! which is always an experience bc i remember i wasn't super familiar with their music beforehand and they ended up being in my 10 ten artists or something the year after. i even managed to get the setlist!! which i gave to my friend bc she was the one who invited me<3

you can tell the whole band just has amazing chemistry with one another, and it shows not just through the music put in their stage presence, as well, which is not an average feat. you're so lucky you got to see them twice AND PARAMORE!! did you see the recent video where something went wrong on stage and hayley sang "someone is getting fired??"

LOL ANYWAY, thanking for the lovely ask and rec to pick CIHM back up!!

[twinhood-2dot0]

A Shallow Dive into Sampling, Remixing, and Covering

Before we begin, I will define these words. My definitions are mine alone and there may be official ones, but I’m going to be sticking to mine.

Sampling: Taking a part of another song and using it in key elements of your songs.

Remixing: Taking a song and remaking elements such as melodies and basslines.

Covering: Recording of a song with minimal lyrical or musical changes.

So, I’m a huge fan of sampling, but many consider them copying. Hank made a video on it, which you probably have already watched but I will link it nonetheless.

I think of sampling as writing a love letter to a song. Take Avicii for example. I consider him a master of sampling. Yes, I know, I consider him a master of music, but my favourite things in his songs are his samples. 

So, his first big hit and also the anthem of Tomorrowland, the biggest music festival, as voted by fans, Levels, is a song he made, just to sample Etta James’s Something’s Got a Hold On Me because he loved it so much. I don’t think you can get any closer to a love letter. (BTW you don’t have to listen to the whole songs, just the parts I link)

(Tumblr doesn't wanna abide by timespants so just use the link or listen to the whole song (highly recommended))

(Dumb rule apparently only 10 videos are allowed per post so I will use spotify where relevant)

Here’s Levels

And here’s SGHOM (this one works the sample is at the beginning)

My favourite song of all time, Dear Boy, samples Hymn by Jonas Knutsson Band, a jazz song. He made a prog house bop out of a jazz song.

Dear Boy (Timestamp)

Hymn (Beginning)

There’s a ton more examples, but listing them all would take a ton of time, but here’s one last one.

Kygo, Avicii, Sandro Cavazza - Forever Yours (Beginning)

Sting - Shape of My Heart

I don’t think this shows lack of creativity, I think it does the opposite. I never would have heard these songs if Avicii did not sample them so I got him to thank for that. Moving on, we have Daft Punk, one of Avicii’s biggest inspirations, no idea if he was inspired to sample by them too. (I’m sorry I circled back to Avicii but that’s just how it is with me, I’m sorry.) 

Daft Punk samples lots. And I mean lots. I don’t think lack of creativity even applies here because the samples are creative in and of themselves. Here’s a 2 min video (I’m sorry but you need to see this):

Here’s a song I love that has been sampled a lot.

David Martin - Can’t Smile Without You:

It’s been covered by Barry Manilow and The Carpenters, but I want to focus on the samplers here.

Daft Punk - Instant Crush:

And also by Marshmello in Leave Before You Love Me:

Now, onto remixing. I don’t think I have much to say here, I think everyone knows what remixing is, but anyways, I’ll provide an example (Trying my best to not link an Avicii song but he does make the best remixes even if they’re very few). While in the process of writing this I was watching a video of Daft Punk samples and they even sampled the Apollo 16 and 17 missions apparently. 

Okay let’s get back on track. Kygo in the space between his 2020 and 2022 albums released a lot of covers/remixes of 80s songs. Kygo, Whitney Houston - Higher Love:

Whitney Houston - Higher Love: https://youtu.be/DbmiyLe2OnY

I cannot for the life of me find Whitney Houston's cover on Spotify, so enjoy the original Steve Winwood one:

I call this a cover/remix because according to my definition it should be a remix but the naming of the track seems reminiscent of covers. If it had a different singer I’d classify it as a cover but no, it’s Whitney Houston with Kygo instrumentals so it’s a remix in my eyes. (Also footnote, Higher Love was originally performed by Steve Winwood, covered by Whitney Houston and remixed by Kygo.) Kygo also got big by posting his remixes of songs on Soundcloud, so here’s one of them, it’s an Ed Sheeran one:

Kygo's remix is an unofficial one he posted on Soundcloud so no Spotify :(

Ed Sheeran - I See Fire (Kygo Remix): https://youtu.be/F3o1izxjCkM

Ed Sheeran - I See Fire: https://youtu.be/2fngvQS_PmQ

Imho this is the third best remix ever made behind Avicii's best.

Anyways, moving on to covers. Jasmine Thompson is a famous cover artist, and made a cover of Ain’t Nobody. I guess Felix Jaehn liked it and made a backing track for it. Here there’s new instrumentals and new vocalist, but nothing else has changed.

Felix Jaehn ft. Jasmine Thompson - Ain’t Nobody: https://youtu.be/5j1RCys4R0g

Chaka Khan - Ain’t Nobody: https://youtu.be/-Ro8-ngA8gs

The next song is an ABBA one! This is a unique case in that I love both versions equally. Again, new instrumentals, new singer (I think?), same melody, same lyrics

ABBA - Gimme Gimme Gimme: https://youtu.be/XEjLoHdbVeE

GAMPER & DADONI - Gimme Gimme Gimme: https://youtu.be/OR5jsmDTUrc

I’ll sign off with a hilarious song I discovered. It’s a song about a girl who’s in utter denial about her breakup. I know I shouldn’t be laughing but holy hell the level of denial:

NOTD, Nina Nesbitt - Cry Dancing: https://youtu.be/Qp-UbtDVf7I

Okay, that’s it from me, I tend to ramble on, sorry, see you on thursday!

-Alia

(Oh wow I overshot by about 5 times damn, the shallow dive turned out to be pretty deep also this took a lot of effort please appreciate not the post it's pretty much a rant but the embeds took effort and also the last minute edits scrambling to somehow get this done by 12 even though I had most of the content ready days ago this is literally the only thing I can get done on time ok thank you bye i'll stop talking now see you)

[nexyra]

James Ironwood, for character ask? 👀

Aaaa thank you so much for the ask ♡ More rambling incoming !! Sorry for the wait btw, I've been both pretty busy and tired ;;

If you hate James Ironwood and don't wanna hear one good thing about him tap out now please ღ

My fav ship(s) for the character

I am not a super big shipper when it comes to James, but there are still some I like more than others soo here goes :

I think Ironwitch is a pretty good one. It's not necessarily a ship I'd search content for but I think these two would work well together ! Glynda is stern and honest and a no-nonsense kind of woman. She has the strenght to stand up to James when he slips or gets too stubborn when faced with the high stakes. At the same time, we've been shown that she cares for him and she knows he's only trying to do what's best for people. She has faith in him but also the ability to stand at his side as an equal. She seems to be the more steadfast of Ozpin's circle : loyal, you know you can trust her, and she will not crumble. This is the kind of personnality that I think James both admire and feel safe with. And the other way around, I think James is a good match for Glynda too. On a day to day basis, he's serious enough to not annoy here, but he's also a softie in some aspects and that's a nice combination to smooth out Glynda's edges.

Ironqrow is a completely different dynamic. The "we're annoying each other" dynamic is not one I'm particularly interested in usually xD But these two certainly had strong & interesting moments so it's a pretty valid ship !! Despite how they might butt heads because of the difference in their upbringing they (prior to V8) clearly trusted each other with their life. Even if Qrow jokes about shooting himself if he had to be one of James' man, when everything goes to shit there is no doubt in his mind that James wasn't responsible. Similarly, while James talks of shooting Qrow for his misbehaviour, when push comes to shove and we meet a tired Ironwood, run ragged by the pressure he's under... the only thing he does is hug him and reiterates how glad he is to see him. So again, they clearly have a lot of faith and trust in the other, and that's solid ground for a relationship.

My least favorite ship(s) for the character

Same spiel as always, shipping kids and adults is a big no from me; so any ships between Ironwood and RWBYJNOR can qualify here. That said, among the less uncomfortable ones, here are those I don't really like

This one is again because I love their relationship but platonically only, I'm talking of Winter Soldier. The reading I like best is not that Ironwood is Winter's Jacques 2.0, nor that he groomed her; but that he was an important father figure in her life. Protective and caring, who tried to help her escape with what he knew. I don't see James recruiting Winter as a way to gain a strong ally. But rather that Winter wanted to detach herself from her family name, and make something worthwhile of herself all on her own. And that the military is what Ironwood knows and understand, so naturally it's a career he'd see as a good path. Just like Winter then proposed it to Weiss. I like to think they care about each other a LOT and they're their own tight family in between the lines, even if professionalism might throw a wrench into it. For short I love them together but not romantically please =)

I don't know if there's a ship name for this, but Salem x James Ironwood would be a big nope from me too... In general, let's just assume I ship Salem with nobody because abuse.

My fav & least fav platonic relationship(s) for the character

Fav platonic relationship would be (have been because we dont talk about V8?) with Winter. Fooor the reasons I've explained above I suppose x) I (again) love the trust they had in one another and the quiet support.

There was also his relationship with Oscar that I really liked during V7, although it has been soured a bit by the (valid) reading from some people that Ironwood sought out Ozpin a lot through Oscar, and given his identity issues it is not ground for a greatly healthy relationship. Their interactions were still very intersting though ♡ I consider Oscar to be the kid who went at trying to appease James' fear or make him reconsider his decisions the best way. There was true understanding and hope for a working relationship here. I do feel that Oscar put in more work than James however (emotionally) and I wish there had been pay-back instead of a gunshot.

For my least fav relationship ? Probably Robyn or Watts ? Robyn was always very antagonistic toward Ironwood since their priorities are so different. And I overall just don't really like her after V7 so there are very few relationships with her I'm interested in (the exception is her ship with Fiona I think it's cute). Meanwhile, Watts is just a petty asshole hell bent on ruining Ironwood because he didn't pick his project. I'm not very interested in hate relationships, and since theirs wasn't deeply explored anyway, it's even more the case here. Their fight was great though, one of my favorite RWBY fights !

My favorite thing about the character

Well this was completely proven wrong by V8 buuut as of V7 I liked that he was a deconstruction of the military general (dictator) trope. Sooo you can guess how i feel about V8 X) In general among RWBY, several of my fav are fav BECAUSE they look like one trope but also have key differences that from the get go make the character stray away from said trope. For example I'm not a fan of the princess tsundere archetype at all, but I loooved Weiss in V1 BECAUSE she was extra-willing to listen and change her mind, and you could very easily tell that it was her upbringing speaking more than herself in most occasions.

Similarly, I wasn't a big fan of Ironwood before V7. I didn't hate him you know and he wasn't lower than most characters in my Tier list but I also didn't particularly care. But you know what ? I've aaaalways had a really soft spot for the "angsty angry traumatized teen". And RWBY made the mistake of extending that soft spot to "tired adults trying their best" (only to repeatedly beat them up/make them villains after making me care about them but what can you do uh)

Soo in general, I loved that Ironwood was trying so hard. I loved that he was tired and in over his head but learning and listening and trying to do good and be better despite his fears. I liked that he told his entourage about Salem and was loyal. I liked that he cared about helping the people above his own image and the way people perceived him. I liked that you could tell this was a terrible situation all around, and his decisions WERE questionnable but we could SEE that he meant WELL and was genuinely trying so hard despite how scared and tired he was.

My biggest criticism for the character

Well this won't be a surprise but in general I just wished he had stayed a morally grey character we were allowed to feel for instead of a cartoon black villain. I didn't need James to be THE Hero or anything like this despite some accusations levelled at those who like him. Him becoming one of RWBY's antagonist is honestly fine by me ! It is interesting. But I'd have preferred they kept him ambiguous and trying in his own way. (And smart because V8 Ironwood was dumb af)

I can be a tad overprotective of his character since he's just... so despised, so I think that I have inadvertently distanced myself from any of his flaws... somehow like "people are already yelling all of them so I don't need to add to this shit show" you know ? skjfkd But I KNOW he has them and it would still have been good to develop his flaws, just... not like that

But yea I'd have liked it if V8 Ironwood DID diverge from RWBYJNORQ and became an antagonist but not an iredeemable villain. LIKE,, we redeemed Hazel and Emerald and IRONWOOD is where the writers draw the line by saying "nope this one is rotten" ?? What ?

When was their writing at the peak according to me (ex : best season)

V7 definitely ! Ironwood carried V7 so hard haha. His character was fleshed out and given nuance and made to struggle and evolve and I loved him in that volume.

A song I think fits them & why

Hunger • Monsters & Men Human • Rag'n'Bone Man Way down we go • Kaleo Beekeeper • Keaton Henson Thistle and weeds • Mumford and Sons Castle of Glass • Linkin Park It's all so incredibly loud • Glass Animals

A headcanon to make up about them

His metal parts impact his metabolism so Ironwood is terrible at holding his alcohool and very little manages to knock him out. He's a workaholic. His low tolerence for alcohool is a great tool whn friends need to put him to sleep.

His joints crack and hurt in the cold, his metal parts as well and they are an hassle in the sand. James like to keep his room temperature warmer than the average atlasian because of this, otherwise he has to spend 30 min every morning simply unwiding muscles to move around efficiently.

He's not a good singer but has a nice low voice for telling stories. If he had kids, he'd probably avoid lullabies but compensate with bedtimes stories.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

As always, I'm kind of reflecting along the way as I write this, and one thing I'm thinking right now is... Doesn't it take away from the atlas arc message ITSELF to just pile up so many "standard bad guy" stuff on Ironwood ? Like, I wanna ask... why do we hate him ? Is he an antagonist because he lets fear get the best of him ? Because he's a classist who doesn't care about Mantle like some fans argue ? Because he's too stubborn and wants to be THE hero ? Because he doesn't listen to others ? Because he abandonned Mantle ? Because he kills peopke left and right ? Because he wanted to bomb a city ? I think you might see where I'm going with this : his status as villain is kind of messy. V8 just kept piling-up flaws and villainous actions onto Ironwood with no concern for whether this was a lenght he would go to (using the certainty that he would go to any lenghts to enact his plans), ,or whether these were one of the initial flaws/failings that led to his "fall" as an antagonist. What lesson is Ironwood supposed to learn ? Personally the very first time I yelled at my screen "No ! Why would the writers choose that ?" is when Ironwood shot Oscar. When answering criticism against medias, many people tend to look at it only through the lense of "well it makes sense in universe" or as if there were no other ways for the story to devolve. But at the end of the way, everything in a story is a choice from the writer even if it is influenced by the characters' personnalities. If I took the scene where Ironwood shoots Oscar, someone might tell me "he's crippled by his PTSD, he COULD do this." Maybe, that's a reading I can somewhat understand at least. But the writers have the power to NOT put his character in such a position. When I saw the wreck that was V7 finale, I ranted to my bestfriend about it and at no point did i say "why did Ironwood do that", I said "why did the writers make him shoot Oscar, the only point narratively would be to make irredeemable" Aaaand that's what they went for and I obviously didn't care for it. So if I had to rewrite it; I would have kept Ironwood's "mistakes" more focused. If he's wrong because he wants to abandon Mantle, because he's (understandably) scared and doesn't want to take risks; then stay focused on that. It's what makes RWBY leave, and out of all his V8 actions that's really the only thing RWBY needed to tell the whole world he wasn't an ally anymore apparently. - Don't make him shoot Oscar point blank, instead Oscar can simply fall because he flinches away from Ironwood's outburst; and a distraught/guilty Ironwood can decide that he doesn't have the time or capacity to help because of the tense situation. (Killing and not saving someone don't hold the same moral weight at all). - Don't make him kill people left and right or bomb cities, maintain the flaw of Ironwood struggling with his PTSD and his fear and not being able to take risks. - Don't paint him as a black villain, and eventually write V8 in such a way that RWBYJNORQ show taking risks might lead to a bigger victory, which was the volume's theme anyway. For example, following Oscar's destruction of the whale, a growth can occur that would bring back together the two anti-Salem factions : Oscar's risk put Atlas out of harm's way, which leads to Ironwood seeing that maybe there WAS a way to save Mantle as well as Atlas despite Salem's presence and he might have jumped the gun too quickly because of his fears. I'm not sure, I haven't thought about this extensively honestly but I hope you see what I mean. I think it would have been more focused & more in-character to focus Ironwood's failings on his fear; and the fact that he cares for the people and the greater good sometimes at the cost of the individuals. The idea that by sacrificing individuals too much you forget the people you're fighting for in the first place, could have been interesting to dig deeper into. Keep to the idea that Ironwood is somewhat disensitized to the individuals suffering for the sake of the greater good, instead of making him just

callous & uncaring.

My guess for their MBTI/Enneagram

I think pre-V8 Ironwood was an unconventionnal ENFJ. Aka, the type of character no one would type ENFJ because they go by stereotypes and Fe stereotypes are just enneagram 2 everywhere (aka nice, kind, helpful) whereas Ironwood has an enneagram tritype very common among xxTJs so that's what he looks/behaves like, but the way he thinks (what's best for the people, ethical values derived from an Atlasian upbringing) align more with Fe cognitively I think I'm going with ENFJ 6w5 1w2 3w4

Starting from V8 though, Ironwood veered clearly into ENTJ territory (types aren't supposed to change but I wouldn't say RWBY is the most consistent media when it comes to characters' personnalities)

One aspect that I think would be nice to delve deeper into ?

I understand why they didn't care to, but it'd have been interesting to get a few backstory hints for Ironwood. How did he lose half his body ? How did Oz recruit him ? Or some pieces about his upbringing ?

[soundsof71]

So, considering you are a passionate fan of music released in 1971, I feel justifiably obligated to ask you what you think of Buffy Sainte-Marie's 'She Used to Wanna Be a Ballerina' album. 😂 (Also, it would make me beyond happy if you could post more about Buffy, my friend! Thank you! ❣)

Buffy Sainte-Marie + Crazy Horse - what’s not to love? LOL I confess that it was the Crazy Horse connection that caught my attention first. I had a general idea who Buffy was, had seen her on TV a few times, but I was a big Crazy Horse fan. News that they were her backing band for this album was easily enough for me to scoop it up.

They weren’t doing anything much with Neil Young in 1971 (other than this album, on which Neil also appeared!), but they had released a tasty solo album in February 71, produced by Jack Nitzsche (who also produced this, and would later marry Buffy), and featuring Ry Cooder (also featured here, although did not marry Buffy). 

(btw, the first place that Buffy, Ry, and Jack worked together was on the Nic Roeg film Performance, starring Mick Jagger. People obviously remember Mick in that, but musically, Buffy was the best part!) 

She Used To Wanna... also features Jesse Ed Davis, a Native American guitarist and singer who was a frequent “usual suspect” at these sort of “sure, invite everyone!” jam albums of the era, and played a prominent role at 1971′s biggest concert (at least in the US), The Concert for Bangladesh on August 1.

(I know you know  RUMBLE: The Indians Who Rocked The World, the documentary about indigenous music’s influence on rock and roll, which has chapters on both Buffy and Jesse Ed. I just watched it again recently, and love it! A reminder of Buffy’s pivotal role in classic rock history. Not mentioned in the film: she relentlessly championed the work of her fellow Canadians Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen, helping them get their first record deals.)

I haven’t listened to She Used To Wanna Be A Ballerina for a while, so I definitely need to do that, along with posting more pictures of Buffy.  (I can’t believe I’ve only posted two!) 

But I’ll tell you what still stands out to me about that record years later. “Smack Water Jack” is an underrated track from Carole King’s Tapestry that got a ton of airplay at the time. Quincy Jones did an instrumental cover as the title track for his terrific 1971 album, too, but it has somehow faded to obscurity since then. Buffy takes a playful trifle, and turns it into a powerful fable of men of color who explode into violence in response to the violence visited upon them, and self-satisfaction of whites in authority who answer their demands for better living conditions by killing them on the spot. 

No need for a trial when you can murder them in the streets, right? “You can't talk to a man when he don't wanna understand / And he don't wanna understand” hits different when Buffy sings it, and in 2020 for that matter. 

It’s also just a terrific performance whose combination of soul and rock and roll and driving piano in a sort of Old West-sounding context would have made this sound right at home on a record like Elton John’s Tumbleweed Connection  or something by The Band. I’m limited to five video embeds per post so I can’t embed it here, so I'm linking instead: anyone who hasn’t heard this definitely needs to.

Her cover of Neil’s CSNY track “Helpless” has things I like even better than Neil’s original, including Merry Clayton standing in for CSN. Buffy’s version is more muscular (thanks again to Crazy Horse), and taps even more deeply into the isolation of the song that the star power of CSNY somewhat obscured. 

Buffy’s version also made a brief but memorable appearance in the 2018 film Hotel Artemis, starring Jodie Foster. A weird little movie that I loved maybe more than it deserved LOL but I recommend nonetheless:

I know that this album gets attention because of the unusual number of covers, including one by Leonard Cohen, and a cover of a cover that Leonard had made famous on top of that, called "Song of the French Partisan” (hers is the far superior version imo, a song of French resistance to Nazi occupation from the perspective of a woman hiding a resister), but there are a couple of standout originals too. 

I love the title of this record, and the title track is a delightful little stomper that playfully cautions against equating the intentions of grown women with the childhood fantasies they’ve grown out of. More Merry Clayton goodness here on backing vocals too. 

“Soldier Blue” is a powerful song first written for the 1970 film of the same name, billed at the time as “The most savage film in history” -- and maybe it was. It used the 1864 Sand Creek Massacre as a metaphor for Vietnam, and it's still shockingly brutal. It was the third-highest grossing movie in the UK in 1971, though, and the single became a top-10 hit for Buffy there. 

It didn’t do as well here, either the song or the movie. Perhaps not shockingly in retrospect, Soldier Blue was pulled from American theaters after a few days, the Vietnam metaphor not at all lost on the Nixon administration. 

As horrifying as it was, this is about when I was reading Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee (first published in 1970), and Soldier Blue resonated with me in a whole lot of ways. Here’s the song in the opening credits of the movie.

I was also really struck by “Moratorium”, which is the story of “Universal Soldier” (from her 1963 debut, but a bigger hit for Donovan in 1965), coming from the opposite direction. In the earlier song, she blamed war on the soldiers who think that fighting is honorable, but here, she has empathizes with the young men, boys really in many cases, who’ve been lied to by their countries, their parents, and even their friends. They’re not vainglorious. They’ve been duped by people they trusted. 

(I don't think she takes enough into account how many men sign up to fight because they want to embrace and celebrate their worst, most violent impulses, which was of course an undercurrent of “Universal Soldier”, but I appreciate her empathy here. More than one thing is true at a time.)

Buffy goes even farther, though, calling on soldiers to support and validate demands for peace as explicitly supporting them, summed up in the unforgettable cry, "Fuck the war and bring our brothers home!" 

1971 was the peak of antiwar demonstrations in the US, with the biggest crowds ever seen in this country until the 2017 Women’s March. The May 1971 demonstrations pretty much shut down Washington, culminating with Vietnam Veterans Against The War throwing back their medals on the steps of the US Capitol, incredibly powerful stuff to see on TV in my formative years, and Buffy was right there in it. Anti-war songs were a cottage industry for sure, but nobody was writing with the nuance and empathy that Buffy was.

Here’s a 1972 performance of “Moratorium”, Buffy and a piano, and more emotionally bare than that:

There’s obviously lots more to say about Buffy, far outside the realm of protest music that was actually just a small part of her musical palette -- her pioneering experiments with electronic music, her educational philanthropy starting in her 20s, Sesame Street, you name it. Her commercial peak was still in front of her, and while I can’t say that this is my favorite of her records, it does have some of my favorite songs of hers, and 1971 and She Used to Wanna Be A Ballerina is definitely where I went from knowing who Buffy Sainte-Marie was to being a fan. 

I'll also note as I do now and again that while this blog started as an offshoot of a book on 1971 that I’d started but abandoned, I mostly listen to music released now. That’s always been my policy, including in 1971. When 1972 rolled up, I was mostly listening to music from 1972, music from ‘80 in ‘80, ‘91 in ‘91, 2018 in 2018, etc., to name just a few other favorites. (Plus The Beatles, okay? LOL I still listen to The Beatles every day. No apologies.) Honestly? It took me until 2011, in my fifties, when a whole bunch of 40th anniversary editions of 1971 albums got released all at once that made me think, “Wait a minute, this was maybe THE pivotal year in classic rock history!” 

So yeah, the historian in me dug into 1971, but even though I happened to be alive and enthralled by music in that year, what I’m doing here has nothing to do with nostalgia, or any idea that that was the *best* year in music, even if for the narrow slice of music that is classic rock, yeah, it absolutely is. For soul/R&B too, and for the explosion of women artists outside the even narrower confines of pop as well. This is not subject to debate. No year like it, before or since. It's just that classic rock is a such a narrow slice, and I like my slices wide. LOL Which is also why my blog has less and less 1971 content as I go along. 

While my general policy is that my favorite year for music is THIS year, this particular year hasn’t left me as much energy as usual for listening to music. Some of it is These Trying Times™, some of it is my bipolarity and schizophrenia getting the better of me in waves, as is the way with these, uhm, things. (Keep taking those meds, kids!) I listen to music and post about the people making it as a creative act, not a passive or reflexive one, and I just haven’t felt as creative as usual.

(This is also has everything to do with why so many Asks have been piling up unanswered. I apologize if you’re one of the many kind and indulgent souls who’s gotten in touch, but I swear I’m gonna get to ‘em all!)

To get an idea of what I’m ACTUALLY passionate about right now, my “to be edited later” running list of 2020 favorites randomly added to a playlist as I encounter them, to be properly curated later, is at Spotify, cleverly entitled “2020″ -- 94% women, which is about right. LOL 

But since I do in fact listen to old stuff (by which I mean 2019 LOL), I made a list of mostly 2020 bangers from women rockers with some tasty treats from 2019 that I haven’t been able to let go of just yet, inspired by a post I saw at tumblr saying that punk music by women is just plain better (also beyond debate), called “Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam”. I’ll be posting an essay with a YouTube playlist soon, because god forbid that I only talk briefly about anything LOL and most of these women need to be heard AND seen.

Like Buffy Sainte-Marie, whom you'll both see and hear more often on my blog soon. Thanks for the reminder! Always a pleasure to hear from you and be challenged by you. :-)

Peace, Tim 

[choibinn3]

get to know me game!!

tagged by: @tyunni

tagging: @tyuncafe this is suuper long btw so dont mind it if u dont wanna do it!! hehe

what day is your birthday? dec 8th, sunghoons bday 😥 (thats how i heard abt enhypen actually, my friend was like "OMGG u share a bday wirh my bias!!!!")

what’s your favorite color? pink <33 it makes me so happy

what’s your lucky number? 8!!! like my bday date :')

do you have any pets? no :(( want a kitty real bad though

how tall are you? skipping. no comment. next question.

how many pairs of shoes do you have? like THREE and i rotate between two ♥️

favorite song? kpop?? um rn fever by enhypen or ghosting.. non kpop would be amoeba by clairo (shits GOOD plz go listen to it)

favorite movie? not the biggest fan of movies, but im suuper into slasher films/horror!!! so maybe smthng from there??

what would your ideal partner be like? jungwon ♥️ LMAO

do you want children? nope!! love kids but parenting doesnt sound like smthng id want to do unfortunately

have you gotten in trouble with the law? not that i know od?? Dont tell anyone

bath or shower? shower.. i dont thinj ive ever taken a legitimate bath b4, always showered

what color socks are you wearing? soz to say this but socks suck!! also irs 11pm and im in bed BUT THAT STILL STANDS

favorite type of music? like genre?? no clue, but i typically like music that reminds me romantic pining (aka, fever ♥️ or around you by hyunjin)

how many pillows do you sleep with? pillows are four!!! plushies,?? infinite bitch!!

what position do you sleep in? curled up on my side hugging smthng hehe

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? yk that sleep where like,, ure sleeping... but u feel awake the whole time?? and rhen u wake up fuckin groggy like uve just been lying there.. that.

what do you have for breakfast? no breakfast!!! 2 cool 4 that. also i wake up at like uhh 11am-3pm sometimes

have you ever tried archery? NO!! sharp objections should not be in my possession apparenrly. tch 😒

favorite fruit? strawberries? mangoes?? anything fresh

favorite swear word? no favs, jm too indecisive for that :((

do you have any scars? yea, i dont have a cool story for them though.. i was just a scab picker kid lol

are you a good liar? SHITTY. horrible, the worst. i cant lie dor shit nd it gets me all shcoked everytime someone is like "mai ure LITERALLY so bad at this" during a lying game lol

what’s your personality type? istp-t!! same as huening whoooo 🎉🎉

what’s your favorite type of girl? mean girls...... i jusy like mean ppl in general but mean gurls have a special space in my heart ♥️!! theyre so demonized but as long as theyre not acrually complete assholes (like homophobes, bigots yk?) they r everythint 2 me

innie or outtie? gots an innie :]

left or right handed? right

favorite food? no favs again!!! but SPICY FOOD YUMM

favorite foreign food? probs uhh Bún bò Huế!!! im viet so idk if that counts as "foreign" but omgg ITS SO GOOD

are you clean or messy? messy!! i feel like everythings much more comfy and natural.. not like too messy though

most used phrase? BARK BARK (not proud of this one guys)

how long does it take you to get ready? like 40-60mins... ONLY BC i zone out tthough and forgot im meant to be gettinf ready LOL

do you talk to yourself? Yes. i do <3 thats also why i read&write fanfictions

do you sing to yourself? mhm!!! esp when the songs too good i sing along or throughout the day

are you a good singer? actually, literally not sure at all. i took chorus since like elementary school tho if that helps

biggest fear? heights and commitment ♥️

are you a gossip? what does this mean. but i think?? i like heaeinf gossip but im not tonna get outta my way to talk abt it ?

do you like long or short hair? on myself short!!! but guys&girls nd just everyone in general look so damn good with long hair sometimes

favorite school subject? none lol <33!! school sucks this question pains me every time i see it on back2school answer sheets

introvert or extrovert? introvert, im a lil hermit all cooped up inside my room all the tim3 ://

what makes you nervous? ppl i like are cool!!! or like ppl in general, i cant even order my boba by myself dude

who was your first real crush? i THINK. it mightve been my bff from when i was in 5th grade.. idk if this counts bc i (THINK) but like...... i cried so fucking much when we stopped being friends. it felt like a breakup and im still not over it tbh (tmi?)

how fast can you run? not fast at all but i can JUMP

what color is your hair? black, still have virgin hair!!

do you like your own name? umm tbh no, but my screen name (mai) is my middle name anyways so i dont think that matters too much

what makes you angry? people who dont listen :( pisses me off but tbh i dont get angry often

do you want a boy or a girl as a child? NEITHER. if i had to pick maybe boy but NOOOOO

what are your strengths? ive been told im endearingly stupid (like twice by the same friend) and it stuck with me. like AWWW :(( U THINK IM ENDEARINGG??

what are your weaknesses? id say im too socially anxious, public speaking makes my hands shake and i cant speak so its real bad

what’s the color of your bedspread? like white with blue polka dots ^_^

what’s the color of your room? this nice beige color,, like the color of my blog rn actually!!!! i based it off of jungwons color scheme but ig this works too

[bangtan-madi]

Top Albums of 2020

I was tagged by the amazing @joonni to list my top nine twelve albums of 2020! This was honestly so hard, but so fun. I love any tags to do with music xD (Your music taste was amazing btw! Sorry I went a little crazy and did a few extra lol.) Thanks lovie 💓

I went with the albums that I loved as whole (aka I loved most, if not all, of the songs) and listened to the most this year. Some choices have deeper meanings, while others were just flat-out enjoyable. I also stuck with albums that came out this year only, but I wasn’t sure if that was inherently part of the challenge. I wasn’t too picky on the criteria, just went with the ones that made up the score for my 2020. All albums have Spotify links incase something catches your eye! (Apologies for my extra-ness; I added recommendations from each album and a brief...ish explanation as to why it made the list.)

Also, they’re in no particular order, because this was difficult enough...

Map of the Soul: 7 by BTS

Explanation — This album was my first comeback as part of the BTS Army. There are so many tracks that I adore, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I was so excited for music. It breathed life into my Spotify, it was the album I listened to the most this year, and Black Swan was my most listened song. The differing music genres that they played with, all the way from orchestral to trap to hip hop and synth pop, left me more and more excited as the songs progressed. If there was a #1 on this list, it would be MOTS:7.

Highlights — Interlude: Shadow, Black Swan, ON, We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal

Zero: Fever Part.1 by Ateez

Explanation — This was the soundtrack to my summer. I hadn’t heard much from Ateez, but what I had heard, I wasn’t a huge fan of? Maybe I hadn’t been grabbed yet, but oh boy. Zero: Fever definitely did that. Every track is such high energy and memorable, so it was so hard to pick favorites! I’ll always think back on this one for summer, and will be transported back to plenty of sunset commutes.

Highlights — Fever, Thanxx, One Day At A Time

The Dream Chapter: Eternity by Tomorrow x Together

Explanation — Until this mini album, I had only listened to TXT in passing. I liked their stuff, but I feel like this is where they really found their stride. TDC:E caught me totally off-guard, in the best way possible. To me at least, this one is a work of art. Each of the six tracks is so entrancing, and so different from each other while still working together as a cohesive story. And don’t even get me started on the MVs! This is an album that I listen to for feels and fun, which to me, TXT are just brilliant at. 

Highlights — Fairy of Shampoo, Maze in the Mirror, Eternally

Dystopia: The Tree of Language by Dreamcatcher

Explanation — It took me forever to find a girl group that I could really stan, like hardcore. This comeback for Dreamcatcher was when I realized they were it for me. This album in particular is so diverse. Their voices are both haunting and beautiful, and the way they interweave rock/alternative elements into their music has always turned my ear. They are so different from so many other girl groups out there, from the sound to their stage presence to their aesthetic. I will never stop talking about them, and this album really shows the best of their work thus far.

Highlights — Red Sun, Sahara, Paradise

BE by BTS

Explanation — How could BE not be on this list? What a perfect end to a shitty year. There’s something so comforting yet uplifting about this one, and I will happily admit I cried when I first heard Blue & Grey. Who am I kidding, I still do. There’s only one other artist I have listed on here with two albums, so BTS is in good company. What more is there to say other than BE was the warm hug we all needed.

Highlights — Life Goes On, Blue & Grey, Dis-ease, Stay

Heng:garae by Seventeen

Explanation — This is another group that I hadn’t listened to much before this album. I was so surprised and excited. Every song that passed, I found myself smiling more. Their voices are astoundingly beautiful, and the songs are sickeningly catchy. Another album that I go to just to have fun. It’s one of my favorites to just put on when a day is good, but doesn’t Seventeen make it a little better regardless?

Highlights — Fearless, Kidult, I Wish, Together

The Untamed by various

Explanation — If you’ve seen the Chinese drama The Untamed, then you know exactly why this is on there. This album is a collection of songs that are themes for the characters in the show, most of which are sung by the actors themselves. Let me tell you; I don’t know a lick of Mandarin, but these are some of the most stunning songs I’ve ever heard. It’s one of the things that drew me to the drama to begin with; everything, including the music, is breathtaking. The classical Chinese sound plays so well with the character’s stories and singer’s vocals. They tell stories all on their own and give the drama so much depth. Even if you’re not a fan of the show or webtoon it’s based on, give this one a listen. You won’t be disappointed!

Highlights — [Wen Qing] woodland, [Wen Ning] Chi Ni, [Lan Xichen] Bu You, [Jiang Yanli & Jin Zixuan] Yong Ge, [Interlude] Yi Nan Ping, [Nie Minghao & Nie Huaisang] Qing He Ju

Humanity (Chapters I & II) by Thomas Bergersen

Explanation — If you know anything about me, you know how important orchestral music is to me. It’s been a huge part of my music journey ever since I was in middle school. Thomas Bergersen has been my favorite composer for years; the way he integrates the classical with the modern is just...there are no words. These two albums cannot be listed separately; they’re part of a seven-part project titled Humanity. Chapters I & II came out in 2020, and honestly, I have no words. The way he tells a story through almost entirely lyric-less work is just immaculate. I’ve never felt more powerful, emotional, or inspired than when listening to these two. I cried when I first heard Your Imagination and Materialize. No matter how I am feeling, whether I need inspiration or hope or just some peace of mind, I go here. I’ve never felt more healed than when listening to his work. If you take a chance to listen to anything on this list, PLEASE. Give these a try. 

Highlights — We Are One, Wings, Humanity, Your Imagination, Materialize, Innocence, The Stars Are Coming Home

Brightest Blue by Ellie Goulding

Explanation — I don’t listen to a ton of western music that isn’t orchestral or lofi, but I used to adore Ellie Goulding. Halcyon was my entire teen-hood. When I saw she came out with a new album this year, I gave it a listen for sentimentality reasons. And boy, I still love her. Her voice is both angelic and haunting, and her sound is so unique. The messages given in these songs are powerful, potent, a tad bit bittersweet, and especially valid for young women navigating adult life. Also the instrumentals backing her vocals are often big and grand and symphonic, filled with piano and violin. That’s enough to get me to listen. And to top it all off, the collabs she has on this album are so fitting for each track, it’s absolutely beautiful.

Highlights — Start, Cyan, Ode To Myself, Woman, Flux, Overture, Slow Grenade, Hate Me

Beneath Your Waves by Sleepy Fish

Explanation — If there’s one kind of music that shuts off the little anxiety bug in my brain and gets me to work, one that isn’t as intense as orchestral music and that doesn’t put me into sensory overload like orchestral sometimes does, it’s lofi. And Sleepy Fish does it so freakin’ well. This album that came out this year is one of my most often repeated over and over. When I’m struggling with sensory issues at work, I put this one repeat and my mind just...goes...quiet. It’s like medicine. And the tunes are so catchy and sweet. I’m instantly transported to someplace magical, some seaside city straight out of a Ghibli film, and far away from the things that are troubling me. Then I can finally get some work done, get to sleep, or just quiet my mind. If you struggle with sensory issues or anxiety like I do, give this album a shot. Also, the album titled My Room Becomes The Sea from 2019 is excellent.

Highlights — Velocities, Sunbreak, Swimming, Nights Like These, Winter Winter

WOOPS! by Woodz

Explanation — Another mini album that is just a blast to listen to, but it also has such a soft side that hits me in the feels. I don’t see a lot of people talking about Woodz, but you all should give him a listen. He’s so talented, and his voice on this one is just *chef’s kiss* everything. The mixing is also impeccable and pairs so well with his vocals.

Highlights — Bump Bump, On my own, Sweater, Tide

D-2 by Agust D

Explanation — I mean, we all knew this one was gonna be dope. Yoongi did not disappoint. This mixtape is so different from most of the stuff I listen to, but I absolutely adored it. The truth and rhythm and pure talent in each and every verse stuns me still. I find myself especially drawn to this one when I’m frustrated (not exclusively, but often, ‘cause 2020.) Both his truth and sound give me a safe place to feel that frustration and anxiety and vent/work through it. I don’t know what it is about Yoongi, but to me, all of his work is like a comforting friend going, “Hey, you’re totally valid and okay for feeling this way...but it sucks, doesn’t it?” 

Highlights — Daechwita, People, Dear my friend

Now, I’ll tag these lovely people! Only if you wanna :)

@kooala​ @cultleaderyoongi​ @yoontopia​ @hobicomeholla29​ @helenazbmrskai​ @moon-write​ @dreamcatcherjiah​ @ditttiii​

[pavcrti]

chicago’s very own pavarti kumari has been spotted on madison avenue driving a rose gold model x , welcome ! your resemblance to mishti rahman is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty fifth  birthday bash .  your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re fiery , but being eloquent might help you . i think being a pieces explains that .  3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be fresh fields of lavender that expand into a cotton candy sky , the reflection of the sun caught in the glimmer of a crystal , rhyming couplets professing deep - seeded emotion . ( i ghost write songs for artists who like to claim they write their own work . ) & ( cis female + she / her  ) +  ( emily , 25 , sher / her , pst )

holy shit , it’s ya girl . i’m back after needing a bit of a break from being in a group . and bc i honestly adored this place sm and i made so many great friends here i am back . . . 👀 i expect plots with each and every one of u btw so u best deliver . i desperately wanna get this finished before i pass the fuck out . i’ll be joining the server in the morning , but in the meantime if u wanna be my friend  👀 👀 titsiana praises satan#7989

    biography .

name : pavarti kumari 

age : twenty five

gender : cisfemale

zodiac : pieces 

sexuality : bisexual 

profession : singer / songwriter 

hair color : black

eye color : brown

piercings : both lobes , nose 

tattoos : none

voice claim : jhene aiko

released albums : sail out ( ep ) , trip 

miss pavarti was born in bangladesh . her parents are both 100% bangladeshi and immigrated to chicago when pavarti was four years old . she had an older brother who was five years older than her . his name was siva .her family traveled back every summer so she is very immersed in the culture of her homeland and is a very spiritual person as a result . from a young age , pavarti had a fascination with the english language . not only was it so complex , but there was so much that could be done with it as well . she loved poetry and different types of prose . she also developed an absolute adoration for hip hop as a result . she’s been able to work several of her lyrical inspirations in her albums , something she would’ve never anticipated growing up as an immigrant child . when she entered middle school , she joined the school choir as an extra curricular activity which is what inspired her love for music and introduced her to her vocal talents . within time , she began combining her inclination for poetry with her voice . she wrote her first song at thirteen and began to freestyle for her friends . unfortunately , she was never taken too seriously by her peers . she was a female , hardly the usual suspect for the rnb , soul vibe that her voice conveys . before she graduated high school , her brother siva was killed in a car crash . the unexpected death of her best friend and protector sent pavarti into a spiral . this begun her tendency to alter her reality to escape from her pain with the help of drugs . she frequently writes about her brother in her music . when she was eighteen , she was discovered , ironically , by a manager of a local rapper at a poetry slam she was performing at . she impressed him and he introduced her to his client . this is how pavarti entered the hip hop scene , albeit , in secret . in hip hop , it’s very custom for performers to write the tracks that they put out themselves . pavarti learned that she could learn the skills of the trade whilst making her own connections and making pretty good cash , as well . as the years progressed , the notoriety of her clients rose . she’s written bars for multiple big names and by harvesting these friendships , she was able to get signed to a record label and put out her first ep at age twenty one . it was well received by critics and pavarti was thrilled to be taken seriously as an artist doing what she loves . she kept working , kept her nose in her business and released her first full album , trip , just last year . she feels like she is constantly growing artistically and finds herself inspired everywhere she turns . she’s currently working on her second full album and just dropped a new single , p*$$y fairy . other than that , there’s not too much else to note in her history . she did not grow up rich , rather she’s only recently come into wealth . her money is very new and she’s not too skilled at spending it wisely .

    personality . 

okay , so this will probably just be a long winded explanation that no one really asked for / needed but here we go ! first and foremost . . . pavarti is a dreamer in every sense of the word . she’s whimsical , she’s connected to the earth around her . she drifts off into elaborate day dreams and tells herself stories in her head as she falls to sleep . she is very spiritual . she meditates twice a day . her house always smells of incense . she has an affinity for weed and hallucinogenics . she really enjoys writing under the influence . her album trip is literally inspired by several drug experiences she had that had a profound impact in her life . pavarti’s general demeanor is borderline wall - flower . you wouldn’t expect her to be so shy , but she is . she’s the giggly girl who’ll hang back and let someone else come to her first . in the meantime , she’s taking in every single detail . she’s incredibly observant . sometimes she thinks in poetry . she realizes that she isn’t the typical visual for a female hip hop , rnb artist but it’s truly her passion in life and her art flows through her . she says more in her songs than she does to the people she needs to and that can definitely be problematic . with that said , pavarti is very well spoken . girl knows how to sweet talk her way through just about anything . but she also has the temper of a devil . she does not tolerate being fucked around with . she has that attitude about her where she will go and key your car if you hurt her or one of her best friends . people typically wouldn’t expect such an explosion from someone so outwardly sanguine and easy going but she’s the type to scratch someone’s eyes out if she has to . her music is her spouse . this fucks her up relationship wise a lot because she tends to let chances pass her by because she would rather stay undistracted . she has an ego , but not really in the outward way that one would anticipate when ego is involved . she knows she’s talented . she knows she’s attractive . but she also knows that she’s fucking lucky to be where she is and she’s grateful . pavarti is the type who wakes up with a smile because she has another twenty four hours to be alive . she doesn’t take things for granted --- she used to , until she lost her older brother and she realized just how quickly things can change . pavarti is a fiercely loyal individual to her friends . she will stand up for them , no matter what . the thing is , she expects it back . she is very much aware of her self worth and does not react kindly to a one sided vibe . 

    plots . 

ok , ok , ok . . . so how i am going to do this is offer up some songs / song pairings for songs that i believe pavarti has written for specific people with certain plots in mind for at least her side of things . and then i will also list some basic plots that aren’t based on anything in particular , but are still plots that i would like very much to have ! the links go to lyrics ! all plots are gender neutral , so ignore any pronouns that are in the songs .

bed peace / stay ready / while we’re young --- fwbs with feelings : pavarti and your muse have been friends for a while . somewhere along the line things crossed the line and they began hooking up . it’s obvious that they feel something intense for each other but something is always in the way of them being together --- plus , neither are really sure if the friendship could withstand a romantic relationship crashing and burning . so here they are , stuck in this awkward limbo . they hook up , hang out , awkwardly third wheel when the other is dating someone else . it’s an interesting dynamic and pavarti wouldn’t deal with drama with anyone else but your muse . they have a really compelling bond and neither can think of life without the other but things have been like this for a long time and there is only so long a relationship as complicated as this one could actually function .

the worst / comfort inn ending / moments / when we love --- exes that ended badly with lingering feelings : this was . . . just a crazy hot and cold relationship . when it was hot , it was fucking hot . when it was cold ? damn . hell itself could freeze over . they probably have done and said a lot of nasty , nasty shit to each other . at the same time , they could’ve been literally planning their wedding at some point because they both were incredibly serious about each other . in comfort inn ending , pavarti suggests their relationship was a result of her cheating on another boyfriend to be with your muse and your muse ultimately cheated on her as well . we can discuss that but i would high key kill for the extra drama . around the time pavarti was writing her first full album , they had a rekindling that inspired her to write moments and when we love . i don’t envision this relationship having ended in a decent way from there , though . more cheating ? fighting ? they were definitely toxic . she’s definitely planning on dragging their ass some more in her tracks .

lsd / sativa --- platonic soulmates : omg so this plot is . . . so fucking cute . but these two would basically die for each other . there is zero sexual attraction , just genuine , pure love . they do everything together . but what really sealed their bond ? well . . . many different intense acid trips , of course ! they love to get high together and forget about the world . they both feel like they can trust the other because they have been present for so many life - changing moments . they rarely go a day without seeing each other and absolutely never go a day without talking in some capacity . sometimes they fight like siblings . but pavarti would honestly kill for your muse . there is nothing she wouldn’t do for them . 

new balance / newer balance / you are here / clear my mind --- the romantic bad influence : this plot is another messy piece of trash . from the beginning , when they first met , pavarti always thought your muse was too good to be true . they reminded her so much of her brother . she felt this sense of peace with your muse . she fell in love quickly but at the same time , felt like there was something looming over their relationship . like it wasn’t permanent . like it’s all just a dream . the bad influence part isn’t portrayed too much in the lyrics other than stressing pavarti’s fear that your muse isn’t exactly who they say they are and this relationship is doomed to fail somehow . she knows that when this explodes in her face that it’s going to destroy her . i see your muse bringing out edgier sides of pavarti’s personality . they party a lot , they influence pavarti to do crazy things with them and she does and she feels so alive with your muse . that is , until , it all crumbles . the facade is destroyed and whatever it was that your muse wasn’t being upfront about shatters the way she feels for your muse entirely . she feels betrayed . clear my mind is pavarti’s way of trying to hype herself up to be stronger than she really is . 

never call me / --- best friends turned enemies : this is my last long one i promise , wtf , why did i decide to do this . anyways --- this plot is again , a shit ton of angst so enjoy that . your muse and pavarti used to be the best of friends . inseparable . that is until things went south . fast . we can discuss what it was that happened between our muses but it was something huge and preferably something where they both could stubbornly blame each other . pavarti feels slighted because she thinks that your muse should be the one who reaches out and perhaps your muses could be thinking the same about her . 

romantic plots : crushes , unrequited love , hateship , party hookup , friends with benefits , secret fling , summer romance 

platonic plots : give me close friends ! and tons of them please ! thanks . roommates , drug buddies , confidants , unlikely friendship , travel friends , only friends in the dms , enemies turned friend

[carlottastudios]

Why does my internal motivation seem to hate posting on Saturdays so much? But regardless, you guys ARE getting two posts this weekend! Hurray! Hopefully, these will lift your spirits at least a little during these nutsy times. Also, get ready for a long-ish description for this drawing because I feel it deserves it. This is a bit of a special sketch for me, not only because it features my current-favourite-ship-ever, but also because it was inspired by a certain song. A song which is basically KeithxZuri in a nutshell, and thus a song that I have personally dubbed “DA KEIRI SONG”. Yes, in all caps. Because I’m extra and because, seriously, it’s a beautifully fitting song. The song is, as you might’ve guessed from the title of this sketch, Shelter by Ray Lamontagne, but SPECIFICALLY, the cover version by Steven Yeun. And if that name rings a bell, THEN IT SHOULD! BECAUSE IT’S KEITH’S VOICE ACTOR! That’s right! The VA for half of this ship sang a beautiful cover of this song (not to mention played it on the guitar) (can I just take a moment to acknowledge the fact that Steven Yeun has the voice of an angel?) (oh, and I totally headcanon that Keith can play the guitar now!), this song which is beyond-a-doubt the theme song for this ship. Can you see now why I found this song so fitting that I had to make a drawing based off of it?!?! And why I hope to write a fanfic based on it too?!?! Now, given my huge-ass list of fanfic ideas, I can’t make any promises on the fanfic front, but I will try my darndest to write this one! And I will attempt to fill it with feels, hurt/comfort goodness and romantic softness out the wazoo! Now, I could end this description here, buuuuttt I wanna wax poetic a bit longer on why I find this song so damn fitting for my precious emo babus, as well as touch on why I drew them like this, soooooo I’m gonna! XD Firstly, I’m just quickly going to share the lyrics of the song to you guys so you all know what I’m talking about during my poetic waxing (also, here’s a link to the cover so you can fully appreciate Steven Yeun’s blessed rendition of this song: https://youtu.be/k6wDOi2HrsI): I guess you don’t need it I guess you don’t want me to repeat it But everything I have to give I give to you It’s not like we planned it You tried to stay but you could not stand it To see me shot down slow as though it wasn’t an easy thing to do Listen well All of this around us will fall over I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do You will shelter me, my love, and I will shelter you I will shelter you I left you heartbroken But not until those very words were spoken Has anybody ever made such a fool outta you? It’s hard to believe it Even as my eyes don’t perceive it The very things that make you live are killing you Listen well All of this around us will fall over I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do You will shelter me, my love, and I will shelter you I will shelter you Alright, so you all know this song now? Good! Now why is this song so fitting for keiri, you might be wondering if you weren’t one of those to whom I’ve rambled about keiri in private chats and therefor know more about this ship than most of my followers? Allow me to enlighten you!!! The song seems, at least in my interpretation, to be about a couple who’s facing difficulties, but that still love each other, and the narrator/singer affirms this love and this commitment and devotion they and the person they’re singing about/their partner have. It’s like the whole message of this song is “This isn’t going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it, and even if everything else goes to shit, I know you still love me and I sure as heck still love you, and that’s what matters”. At least, that’s how I interpret it, and I know it might not be the original intended meaning, but that’s the meaning I get from this song. And this message pretty much describes how Keith and Zuri get together in most of my headcanons, including my main headcanon, which is the storyline I would write if I were in charge of VLD and had to make it a show. See, Keiri isn’t a fast-burn romance. I wouldn’t call it a slow-burn either, because I’m a bit too impatient to make it a slow-burn (I prefer couples being together over the process of them getting together), but the point is that they don’t get together immediately. The biggest reason for that is because of their emotional baggage. Keith, as we know, has trust issues and fears getting rejected and hurt by people he cares about. Zuri, for her part, is still stuck in the grieving process for the many losses she went through in her life and she fears that, if she gets close to someone again, they’ll just end up dying in the war just like pretty much everyone she cared deeply about in her life until this point. Nonetheless, they end up forming a bond and grow to deeply care about each other. It gets to the point where Keith trusts Zuri, views her as a close friend and even likes the idea of being in an intimate relationship with her (it helps that, yes, he finds her attractive). On Zuri’s side, it’s much the same: she trusts Keith, she’s attracted to Keith, she enjoys his company, she finds that she’s closer to him than she is with anyone, and the idea of being in a relationship with him does appeal to her very much. But it also scares her. All of the things I just said about how she views Keith scares her. Because what if something happens to him? What if he gets injured or worse in the war? What if it claims his life as well as the lives of everyone else she’s opened her heart to? Then all the pain of loss that she’s been trying to numb herself to and supress all these years will come crashing back, maybe even worse than before! So, even as she and Keith grow closer throughout their “courtship” period, she’s trying the whole time to keep a distance between them, to subtly push Keith away, to prevent him from getting too close, to keep from letting him in entirely. But Keith realizes what she’s doing. I mean, it’s hard for him not to: it’s what he’s been doing for years. And he knows first-hand how lonely and sad this kind of self-isolation feels, not to mention how unhealthy it is! BTW: I just want to note that, at this time, he’s forming closer bonds with the other paladins and getting a truly supportive found-family/support system, even though all that stuff with the BoM is still on his mind. I just wanted to say that he is in a better headspace by now. Still not perfect, but better than at the start of the show. So, yeah, he recognizes what Zuri’s trying to do and he knows that it’s not okay. So, he confronts her about it, which does get her to reveal what she’s going through and to admit that, yes, she’s been trying to push him (and the other paladins, I might add) away because she’s so terrified of the pain that losing him (and them) will cause her. And Keith is understanding, but also more determined than ever. He lets her know that he understands why she’s doing this, to avoid pain, but it’s going to cause more harm than good and it’s just going to hurt her in the long-run and he doesn’t want her to go through that hurt. He understands that she’s scared and that she has reason to be scared (they are fighting a war, after all) and that, honestly, he’s scared of losing his loved ones too. Hell, he did lose a loved one, his father, years ago, and it does still pain him. But that doesn’t make him wish he’d never loved his father. Similarly, his fear of losing the paladins doesn’t make him love them any less, and his fear of losing Zuri doesn’t make him not love her. It just makes him want to make the very most of his time with her. He tells her that he’s there for her, that no matter what she does, he’s not going to stop caring about her, and he knows that she cares about him too. He doesn’t push this part too much, though, thankfully. He respects Zuri too much to try coaxing her into the relationship that, let’s face it, they both know she wants. He’s ready and willing to be with her, but only if she is. It’s got to be mutual and, if she decides that she just isn’t ready to face her fear or that loving him is worth the pain that it could bring, he’ll be sad as hell but he’ll respect that. Thankfully, though, Zuri, after given a bit of time to think it over, does choose to stop living in fear and letting it cause her so much internalized and supressed heartache and misery and loneliness. So, even though it scares the shit out of her, she confesses her feelings for Keith and they finally get together. Of course, they still have their own issues and their problems don’t go away with them getting into a relationship. But the fact that they’ve found someone they can be open with, someone who they know will support them and love them throughout all of the trials life can offer, does make things easier. They are each other’s shelter in the storm of life, so to speak: not making the storm go away, but making it easier to bear as they get through it. And that, kids, is why I effin’ love my ship and why this song (particularly this version of the song) is their theme song! Also, I think that’s a long enough description for you! If you read the whole thing, you earn a gold star and a cookie! REFERENCES: None to be had except the character designs! DISCLAIMERS: Voltron: Legendary Defender © DreamWorks & World Events Productions Zuri © me this drawing © me

[bandzrus]

My Kinda Lover (One-Shot)

The Dirt!Vince Neil x Reader

Masterlist

SUMMARY // requested by anonymous – Vince being shy around a girl, getting nervous and messing up a show when she’s there

NOTE // the year is 1981 btw, right before Motley Crue formed.  Uhg, I feel like Vince is so much harder to write than Nikki or Tommy, even though I love him.  

WORDS // 2905

TAGLIST // @mainly-me @shamelessobsessions @broken-pieces  @calspixie  @shouttatthedevill  @cigarettes-after-sexxx  @thatbandchick39  @buckyofthemyscira  @countrygirlswonderland  @kawennote09 @tommyfuckinlee @miserablecunt  @madsthegroupie  @livingforrt  @catsoo12  @whisky-a-go-go @motherloovebone @rysepieces98  @kickstartmyheartmc @voguesixx  @marvelismylifffe  @iluvmesomemarvelndc  @princesof-theuniverse

***

              It was a series of convoluted events that got you and Vince Neil together. Your brother was the leading cause of these events, and being the teasing older sibling that he was, he wasn’t ever going to let you forget it.  It started a month before it happened, when your brother finally stopped sleeping through his history class and saw Mandy.  New to school and therefore single, your brother was one of many bachelors who asked her out, all with no success.  Except your brother wasn’t a quitter, and he made it his personal mission to follow her around like a love-sick puppy opening doors for her, picking flowers, and going to every party she was invited to whether he was on the guest list or not.  And that’s how you wound up at Angie’s pool party.

              Angie was one of the most popular girls in your brother’s year and was notorious for throwing the best parties in LA.  Her parents both worked in big law firms and spent more of their time at the office than at home, which meant Angie had the run of the mansion.  It was never difficult to score an invite to one of these parties – as long as you’d never had an unpleasant run-in with Angie, you were welcome to help yourself to all the booze, bikinis, and pool floaties Angie had to offer.  You barely knew Angie and wouldn’t have gone to the party on your own accord, but your parents insisted your brother take you along since they were going out of town for the weekend and didn’t want you staying home alone too long even though you were plenty old enough to.  Your brother of course was going because Mandy was going.  And while you poked fun of him all the way there like the annoying little sister you were, it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to you.

                “If you’re wearing your speedo right now Jason,” you warned your brother. “I’m going to disown you.”

              “Chicks dig the speedo!”

              “No we don’t!”

              “Mandy won’t be able to resist me,” grinned Jason, gripping the wheel of his ’69 Mustang casually with one hand while his other hovered over the shifter.

              “You’re going to send her into shock.”

              “Shut up.”

              “I’m going to call the police and say there’s a guy exposing himself if you come out in your speedo,” you said, feet resting on the dash.  You tapped your fingers along to “Free Ride” by The Edgar Winter Group on the radio.

              “I swear to god, Y/N if you embarrass me in front of Mandy I’ll-“

              “You don’t need my help to do that, you’re perfectly capable of embarrassing yourself all on your own,” you chided.  “And your threats don’t scare me.”

              “I’ll tell mom and dad you were drinking.”

              “Jason, I’m twenty.”

              “Yeah, underage!  They’ll ground you.”

              “When they found out I drank at Hailey Anderson’s party in eleventh grade they didn’t care,” you pointed out.  “They’re not going to ground me now.”

              Your brother frowned and didn’t say anything for a moment, knowing you’d won the argument.

              “Fine, can we agree to just leave each other alone at this party then?”

              “I would like nothing more than to not associate myself with you,” you agreed.

              “I don’t want you fucking things up between me and Mandy, I think she’s finally coming around.”

              “If you say so,” you sighed, turning your head to look out the window at the passing California hills.  It was nearing the end of May and the perfect day for a pool party, and if you were being honest you were glad you were going to a place with a swimming pool.  It was hot as hell outside.

              Angie lived up on a hill, and as your brother pulled into the long driveway you could spot part of the Hollywood sign in the distance.

              “Come on, shitbird,” Jason called, pocketing his keys and swaggering up the path to Angie’s front door.  You could already hear the party in the backyard.

              “Coming asshat,” you snapped back.  Name-calling was nothing out of the ordinary with you two, and you’d probably been reprimanded more by your parents for that than any other bad deeds. Ringing the bell, the two of you waited patiently on Angie’s doorstep until she came to the door.

              “Hey Angie!” greeted Jason, putting on what he thought was his most charming smile.

              “Hi Jason.”

              Angie was blocking the doorway, one hand on her hip and the other on the doorframe.

              “We’re here for the party.”

              “Aw, Jason!  I thought we were selling Girl Scout cookies!” you whined, giving your brother your best pouty face.  It made Angie laugh.

              “I didn’t know you had a sister,” she mused, giving you a friendly smile. Jason just rolled his eyes and sighed, abandoning his smooth-guy act.

              “My parents forced me to bring her along – I made her swear she’d just sit in a corner with a beer or something.”

              “How old are you?”

              “Twenty.”

              “Did you bring a bathing suit?”

              “Yup,” you answered, flipping up your shirt to reveal your red bathing suit.

              “Want a beer?”

              “Love one.”

              “Come on in then,” smirked Angie, lifting her arm so you could get inside the house.  Jason made to follow you, but Angie blocked him off again.

              “Hey!” he protested, throwing his hands in the air.  “What gives Ang?”

              “Did you bring a bathing suit?” she inquired, eyeing your brother up and down critically.

              “He wore his speedo,” you informed her, giving Jason your best shit-eating grin.  He flipped you off.

              “A speedo huh?”

              “Chicks dig it.”

              You and Angie shared an understanding look before she turned back to your brother and lifted her arm to let him pass.

              “Thank you,” he scoffed, shooting daggers at you.  The two of you followed Angie through the house and out to the backyard where about forty other people your age were milling around drinking beer, smoking, laughing, or splashing in the pool.  Yup, a perfect day for a pool party.  You spotted Mandy first and smacked Jason on the arm to get his attention.

              “Try to not embarrass yourself too much,” you said.  “I’m grabbing a beer.”

              “Fuck off.”

              “Gladly.”

              Watching your brother shrug off his leather jacket and run a hand through his hair like some kind of preening bird, you rolled your eyes and then headed for the drinks table.

              “Just a beer thanks.”

              “Sure.”

              Handing you a cold one from a cooler full of ice, the guy running the table waved you off as a gaggle of girls came up to him.  Popping the cap off and taking a swig, the cold liquid felt especially good on a hot day.  You noted a few people your age milling around, but then something else caught your attention.  At the far side of the pool there was a drum kit and some other instruments set up. Taking another sip of your beer, you decided to wander over and investigate.  As you were making your way over trying to catch a glimpse of who exactly was about to play, music filled the air.  You recognized the song almost instantly.

              “You got my motor racin’

              I find my thoughts embracin' your every move

              I wanna set you reelin’

              I want to make you feel the way that I do

              And oh

              I been thinkin' 'bout you for so long

              I don't want to lose ya, you're my kinda lover

              My kinda lover

              My kinda lover

              My kinda lover!”

              It was “My Kinda Lover” by Billy Squier, accept it sounded better than the original which you hadn’t thought possible.  Elbowing your way through the crowd that had gathered, you finally spotted who exactly was playing.  Three long-haired brunettes on drums, keyboard, and guitar, and smack in the middle the hottest guy you’d ever seen.  Baby blond hair, tight white snake-skin leather pants, studded belt, jean jacket – he screamed rock star.  Your jaw dropped open.

              “Oh fuck me,” you muttered under your breath.  You couldn’t take your eyes off him; none of the girls crowded around the band could.  Totally mesmerized by the way he moved his hips, the longer you stared the less you realized you were drooling.

              “My kinda lover

              My kinda lover

              My kinda lover

              My kinda lover!”

              Leaning in close to a few of the ditsy blondes next to you to finish the last bout of chorus, the band wrapped up the song.  Cheering, whistling, and swooning, your good day had just turned into a great one.  And it was about to get even better.

              “Thank you, we are Rock Candy!” said the blond, giving the crowd a winning smile.  Blinking and shaking your head, you finally realized you had drool on your chin.  The blond singer glanced over at you and chuckled as you wiped the drool off with the back of your hand.

              “Shit!” you muttered, feeling yourself blush scarlet.  The crowd was starting to dissipate now that the band was abandoning their instruments in favour of cold booze, but a few of the girls were sticking around hoping for more.  When they realized the blond wasn’t paying them any attention and looking at you instead, you could hear them make a couple nasty remarks under their breath before they too wandered off.

              “Never had that before,” commented the singer, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand as he adjusted the mic stand with the other.

              “Hmm?”

              “I’ve never had a girl physically drool before,” he laughed.

              “I wasn’t-“

              “I dig it.”

              “Wha- really?  I’m totally embarrassed,” you confessed.

              “Yeah.  Makes me want to actually consider being a real rock star.”

              “I thought you already were.”

              “Really?”

              “What the fuck do you think?” you laughed lightly.  “I was drooling!”

              “Now, was that over the music or just over me?” the blond asked coyly, taking a step towards you and adjusting his pants.  You bit your lip.

              “Cocky son of a bitch, aren’t you?”

              “Been told that before.”

              “Both,” you answered honestly.

              “Want to get something to eat?”

              “I’d love to.”

              Swaggering back over to the drinks table, you started munching on chips while the singer asked for a beer.  You leaned your hip against the table and ignored the judgmental stares of other girls as you waited for the blond to pop the cap off his drink.  With a hiss, the metal cap came off and he took a rock star length swig of beer before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

              “Before I start calling you Drool Girl, mind telling me your name?”

              You laughed.

              “It’s Y/N,” you answered.

              “Vince.”

              “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you, Vince.”

              You bit a particularly large chip in half and then held the other half out to Vince.

              “Pleasure to meet you too,” he said, letting you feed him the chip.

              “What brings you around here, rock star?  I’ve never seen you before.”

              “Free booze,” Vince held up his bottle.  “Hot chicks.

              This time he gestured at you.

              “What about you?”

              “I came here with my idiot brother,” you confessed.

              “Oh?  Which one’s he?”

              “The one flexing his non-existent muscles for Mandy over there,” you pointed. Your brother looked like a total wad, taking turns gawking at Mandy and his own bicep.  Vince just laughed.  

              “He thinks he’s got game.”

              “You’re related to that guy?”

              “Unfortunately yes,” you sighed, turned back to the blond and taking a sip of the beer you’d forgotten was in your hand.  “He’s been going after her for a month now, you’d think he’d give up but no.”

              “She’s way out of his league.”

              “Oooh yeah!”

              “Does he have a cool car?”

              “Huh?”

              “Does he have a cool car at least?” asked Vince, taking another long swig of his drink.

              “Yeah, he drives a Mustang,” you frowned.

              “He taken her for a drive yet?”

              “Uuuh-“ just as you were about to reply no, you saw your brother grab Mandy’s hand and by the way he was gesturing you could tell that’s exactly what they were about to go do.

              “-I was gonna say no, but…” you pointed at the two of them with the head of your beer bottle.  The singer just laughed again.

              “Do you drive anything?”

              “I’ve got a 280z.”

              “Shit, really?” Vince asked, nearly choking on his beer.

              “Yeah.”

              “I’ve wanted one of those forever.”

              “Well, you’re gonna be a rock star, I’m sure you’ll be able to afford one in no time,” you giggled, twirling a bit of hair around your finger.

              “You really think I could be a rock star?”

              “Definitely,” you purred, taking a step towards him and fiddling with the hem of his jean jacket.  

              “Hey!  Vinny!”

              It was one of the other Rock Candy members calling for the singer. Turning his head, Vince gave a nod of acknowledgement.

              “Hurry up, we’ve got another song to do!”

              “Give me a minute, geezus!”

              “Hurry the fuck up, dude!”

              “Fuckin’ asshole,” muttered Vince, turning back to you.  “Sorry ‘bout that.  Can we finish this later?  Maybe over another one of these?” he held up his beer bottle before downing the rest of its contents.

              “I’d love that.”

              “Cool.”

              And with that the blond planted a flash of a kiss on your lips before nudging his way through the crowd.  Standing there stunned for a minute, it took a particularly loud scoff from a nearby girl to snap you out of it.  

              Eating another handful of chips and finishing off your beer, you decided it was high time you peel off your street clothes and strip down to your bathing suit.  The band had already started playing, and once again you recognized the song almost instantly.  It was Deep Purple’s “Highway Star”.  Balling up your t-shirt and shorts and tossing them under the nearest hedge where nobody would bother with them, you were about to shimmy your way back to Vince through the crowd when suddenly you had a better idea.  Grinning to yourself, you jumped into the pool.  Submerged, you were pleasantly surprised at how warm the water was.  The LA sun worked fast.  You swam towards the other end of the pool, only breaking for air when you came up on the other side.  Gripping the edge with one hand, you ran your other through your wet hair.  If you were doing this right, you looked like a damn model. The crowd still had a couple gaps in it and from your vantage point you could see the singer perfectly.

              “Nobody gonna take my car

              I'm gonna race it to the ground

              Nobody gonna beat my car

              It's gonna break the speed of sound

              Oooh it's a killing machine

              It's got everything

              Like a driving power big fat tires

              And everything!”

              Vince’s eyes met yours, just as you started making the move to get out of the pool.  Pushing yourself up chest first, you winked at him.  Your bathing suit left little the imagination and you knew it.  Sliding out of the pool with more grace than even you knew was possible, Vince’s singing started to falter.

              “I love it and I need it

              I bleed it

              Y-yeah it's a wild hurricane

              Alright hold t-tight

              I'm a highway star!”

              Smoothing your hair, you let the water run off your body as you smiled and bit your lip at him.  Maybe the red on the blond’s cheeks was from the heat or the singing, but you knew better.

              “N-nobody gonna take my girl

              I'm gonna keep h-her to the end

              Nobody gonna have my girl

              She stays close on every bend-d

              Oo-ooh she's a killing machine

              She's got everything

              Like a moving mouth body c-control

              And everything

              I l-love her I need her-“

              The band was getting annoyed with Vince, you could see it on their faces and even hear it in their playing.  More than just some of the catty girls were staring at you now.  A bunch of your brother’s colleagues were too, and of course Vince couldn’t keep his eyes off you.  He cut the chorus short, and the band started to trickle off, wrapping the song up before their singer butchered it too badly.  Vince let go of the microphone and gave an apologetic look at his bandmates before stepping into the crowd.  You were still standing near the edge of the pool, one hand absently playing with your wet hair.

              “I’m sorry, was I distracting you, rock star?” you asked, faking innocence. The blond wet his lips nervously, looking down at his feet for a brief moment before back up to you.

              “You did that on purpose,” he said plainly.

              “Maaaybe.”

              “First you drool for me, and now you’re getting wet for me.”

              You knew he was talking about a different kind of wet.

              “What are you going to do about it?” you asked him, lifting an eyebrow.

              “Give me your number and you’ll find out.”

              “Fine.  Got a pen?”

              Vince looked back at one of his band buddies for a pen.  Thankfully one of them had one.  You took it and then grabbed Vince’s hand in yours.  Using your teeth to pull the cap off, you carefully scrawled your number onto the singer’s wrist.

              “There,” you finished, letting go and recapping the pen.  “Use it.”

              “Oh I will,” promised Vince.  “Especially now that I know you’ve got a 280z.”

***

Uhg, I’m so sorry this took so long for me too finish, it’s not even that long and I liked the concept.  Next on my list is part 10 of TNFT, but I may take another break soon and work on some more of my requests.  I hope this didn’t suck too much and let me know if you want to be tagged in anything!

[interesting-blog-name]

SLIGHTLY NEW ALBUMS I LIKED (Little Simz - GREY Area; Monsune - Tradition; Backxwash - God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It)

More loose reviews that I write and instantly want to get out of my Word document and into Tumblr without much of an overlaying theme between the albums or any planning as to which ones I’ll be releasing at which point, but it is what it is. This time I’ll be compiling some recent-ish albums I’ve enjoyed, two of which I’ve come to know from TheNeedleDrop (I try not to watch reviews before writing down my opinion btw), and one EP from an artist I like. Here it is.

Little Simz – GREY Area

Little Simz, the 26-year-old British rapper, is an artist I’ve loved the first time I heard her, when I listened to Selfish for the first time and saw her cover of Feel Good Inc. in triple-j’s Like A Version. Today, May 30th, I was planning on listening to White Chalk by PJ Harvey, but from what I read, it’s a pretty depressing album, and I’m not in the mood for that right now, so I picked GREY Area from my future listening list.

It’s really nice to hear a rap album like this once in a while. The instrumentation is organic and well thought out, her flow is amazing, and her lyrics have so much substance and personality to them, ranging from the happier, more reminiscent tone in 101 FM to the much more aggressive tracks Offence, Boss, Venom and Pressure, she’s always giving her take on life, telling the experience of what it’s like being a black person with big dreams in England, seeing friends die while she tries to go somewhere in life through music.

The main tone she picks for her self-narrative is an unapologetic view of the world around her; she tells the listener: “’til now I ain’t ever been the selfish type, ‘till now I ain’t ever told nobody no, don’t get it twisted. This shit ain’t happen overnight” in the biggest song off here, Selfish, featuring the most calming and lavish pianos and violins in this album, and an amazing feature by Cleo Sol on the hook. Pressure features an amazing batch of verses all about. Same thing with the intro, Offence, with its bold, empowering chorus; although the track comes off more playful with its cartoonish sound effects nearing the end than the raw message of the track mentioned previously. A great, high-spirited track to start off the album.

What isn’t as high-spirited is the next track, Boss, or, to be fair, almost all the other tracks in the album. Boss is a big fuck you to anyone you might dedicate the song to: the hook has Simz’s most aggressive delivery in the whole record, and the entire message is about getting over those who hurt you and coming up.  The second verse is something else.

Wounds, featuring Jamaican singer Chronixx, deals mostly with the gun/crime problem ever-so-present in marginalized communities all around the world, and she tells the story from the perspective of both herself and as a companion of the “gun man”, repeatedly mentioned in the song (“When a gun man only knows self-hate, them bullets show no love”). I’m not super crazy for Chronixx’s hook, or the much slower tempo of the track, but it fits well with the groovy instrumental. Venom, on the other hand, is a super exciting, menacing song. She goes all out over the violins playing in the background, but unfortunately, the track burns twice as bright to last half as long.

To lighten the mood a bit, 101 FM brings the most electronic instrumental, with cheerful, banging 808s and synths, and lyrics about her come up as a rapper, probably the verses where her British accent and slang dominate the most, giving them a more personal feel somewhat. Pressure doesn’t feature the most compelling instrumental or hooks in here – the Little Dragon refrain is mixed very poorly and the vocalist just doesn’t do a great job -, but the verses compensate for that, especially the first one, probably one of the most heartfelt and important ones in this album. Therapy talks about Simz’s struggles with finding comfort in therapy. The instrumental is average for the project, but still slaps, so that’s nice.

Sherbet Sunset is an ode to a broken relationship, and a theme that could be handled so poorly by other artists is handled masterfully by Little Simz. In three verses, she displays so many sides to what I assume is one relationship, so many emotions and thoughts that she shares, it really feels like she’s transcribing something of a focused, bright mind rush over the track, and it amazes me how she can reveal her feelings so well on a track like this, progressing from the regret of not seeing how it’d go wrong, to the anxiety that comes from spending all that time for seemingly nothing, to coming to terms with it in the last verse (although not quite). It’s a stunning song now that I listen to it again.

To close it all off, we have Flowers, mainly a tribute to various artists from the 27 club, with mentions of Jimi Hendrix and Amy Winehouse in the verses, trying to relate to their struggles with drug addiction and quick fame. It’s incredibly powerful and a great finisher.

I don’t dislike one track in GREY Area. It’s well conceived, a great statement, it really feels like she gives her all to make every track memorable, and even though her delivery is mostly monotone throughout the whole album, that also works to her favor, as she has a very unique and recognizable voice. So the lyrics are extremely well written, and the only reason I don’t give more examples of that is because I got a whole lot of school shit to do, the instrumental work is clean and precise, and I don’t have a whole lot to complain about. Check this shit out if you haven’t.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: 101 FM, Venom, Selfish, Offence, Boss, Pressure

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: lol nah

 8.7/10

“Why you wanna all dress lies as truth? Have you ever seen what silence do? I don’t wanna see no violent troops putting out fires that haven’t been started”

 Monsune – Tradition

Damn I did not expect to like this as much as I did.

Monsune is a Chinese-Canadian singer who has recently been gaining some popularity from his amazing song OUTTA MY MIND, which features a funky bassline and high-pitched guitar playing that some have compared to Childish Gambino, specifically his album “Awaken, My Love!”. I decided to check out this short EP by him to see if he had anything more to offer, and it’s safe to say, he does.

The first track off Tradition already shows what this guy can do with his production. It starts off with the same vibe off of his previously mentioned biggest track, but on steroids: a prominent bassline, pitch-altered backing vocals, sunny guitars, and drowned out drums. His voice is also reaching higher notes in this song than in OUTTA MY MIND, but then in the middle of the song it all slows down for a very welcome beat change that shifts the song from this summer anthem to a very chill R&B tune. It’s amazing stuff, although I don’t understand why he chose to put some very noticeable autotune in this part.

CLOUD is my least favorite from the EP, but it’s still a very solid song, it’s just not amazing. The bass is still very strong, and the bridge later on in the song is addictive as shit. After that track comes OUTTA MY MIND, and then his style completely switches in MOUNTAIN, which starts off with some solo guitar and his low, beautiful singing. It’s actually really moving for some reason lol. It then picks up in the hook, the drums kick in along with what I assume is a keyboard, and his voice reaches the top of his range for the backing vocals, it’s a very well-made song.

JADE finishes Tradition off extremely beautifully, with a smooth acoustic guitar intro over a nice-ass bass, some ethereal, trippy scenes of Monsune floating over the ocean and appearing out of thin air in front of you (probably not you, the listener). And then all of a sudden this madman screams off the top of his lungs in the middle of the track and I fucking love it.

The flaws this EP has are mostly related to the mixing, which I think can be a little too harsh in some sections such as the big breakdowns in JADE and MOUNTAIN. Plus, I know lyrics aren’t a focus on a project like this, but it would be nice to get something more than love songs in the future perhaps. Still, loving this EP, so glad I checked Monsune out. You should too.

 WORST TO BEST: CLOUDS, 1998, JADE, OUTTA MY MIND, MOUNTAIN

 8/10

“Don’t you wanna come down? Cause I’m so bored of walking on the same old sky”

 Backxwash – God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It is an album by American rapper Backxwash, who received a new wave of attention after Anthony Fantano reviewed this album in his channel and gave it a decent 8. I haven’t watched the review yet, but I was interested in checking it out because of the high score, and especially since when I looked it up on Spotify, the songs only had around 8000 views.

Dark subject themes and the whole dark trap aesthetic are the core of this album. I, personally, have always been a fan of aggressive, heavy rap music, from more underground names like gizmo and Fukkit, to the more mainstream variant of these sounds, like XXXTENTACION. This album, however, operates in somewhat of a separate lane.

Many of the dark, edgy rap I used to listen to religiously back in the day was borderline mindless. Shit about ripping someone open, hollow flexing, except separated from mainstream rap only because the rapper in question is screaming their brains out when talking about designer clothes, instead of mumbling like your average Lil Baby, and, of course, personal problems, depression, being mad about whatever it was. Unlike its other contemporaries, however, it seems Backxwash has much more thought and elaboration into what she wants to yell about. Instead of hiding behind bass-boosted rather formulaic instrumentals, she takes the more scenic route, with still very dark, but more intricate gothic beats, sampling various religious speeches and implementing them into songs about black magic and overall unhappiness. The Black Sabbath sample that opens up this album should be enough for any listener to immediately understand what they’re about to get into, as the title track brings heavy percussion and some of the most graphic lyrics in the album, which it already doesn’t lack. Lines about downing pills and vodka, contemplating suicide, and blank vocalizations of anger (“I want war with these bitches, I want corpses and weapons”).

The track that resembles an average edgy Soundcloud rap song the most is Black Magic right after, with its own interpretation of the “ay” flow, shouted with a tone reminiscent of someone like Craig Xen. The big difference comes with the much grander production, especially the growling guitars that get introduced halfway, reminding the listener of Backxwash’s skill as a producer. From what I could tell, she was responsible for the production of the tracks in here, and considering there are no vocal guests except for Malldate’s quick appearance in Into The Void, I’m assuming the features listed in the tracklist are all producer credits as well, the feature in this track being Ada Rook, providing the amazing guitar work for this song.

Spells is mixed for me. I don’t enjoy the attempted singing in the chorus, and it falls completely flat to my ears; the beat is hard as ever, but the lyrics feel slightly disconnected with each other. At one point, she’s talking about going to Hell to her mom, at the other she mentions doors opening and closing in an office and how there’s no one in some corridor, and it doesn’t go anywhere from that, with lines such as “heart is so dead with tissue” not exactly evoking any sort of emotion or imagery.

Black Sheep is the most effective song out of the first four; it seems to filter all the positive aspects of the other tracks and package them into one quick serving. The beat is chaotic and in a constant state of unrest, the lyrics are centered and aimed at various of Backxwash’s problems in life, such as her father, people who want to bring her down and put her “in line on the X and O’s”, and overall venting. After that comes a brief interlude, the first of two that don’t have much use in the album except as pallet cleansers. It’s followed by Into The Void, a track that mentions her paranoia of being harassed and possibly killed when walking around in the streets and the deli. It’s haunting, and definitely the best song in here; it is laser-focused in the exact way I wished the previous tracks would be. Her vocal delivery is extremely expressive, and she tells the story in a way that gives the listener a brief, but at the same time immense glimpse of the reality that trans people face and have to go through, in a morbid fashion.

Adolescence is very short and eases the pace a bit after the intense emotions of the last. It’s a message to her younger brother that quickly descents into a confession of her inner struggle, mentioning possible overdoses and being too old for the 27 Club and fearing going to therapy. What’s great about this song is the fact that, even in such a short amount of time and with a less explosive instrumental, Backxwash manages to evoke her emotions so well; this is definitely what she does best in this record, and it overcomes the times where her delivery is flawed and her words are slurred and hard to understand. After this comes Amen, and holy fuck is this an angry song. Criticizing the hell out of the church, Backxwash comes at greedy pastors and their irresponsible spending when the churchgoers who support him are in need. My big problem with this song is the fact that the hook, as impassionate as it is, doesn’t do much for the subject, and the verse is way too short to have any impact with its theme. Lines like “these politicians politicking” don’t help much either.

The very distorted second interlude, Heaven’s Interlude, takes us to the last track, Redemption, the least intense song in here, which is appropriate as a sendoff. She expresses her frustrations towards her dad’s frustrations towards her being trans, and while the entire sentiment of the song is great and well formulated, I can’t find a way around the lines “Fuck these fucking boomers, fuck these fucking losers. Fuck theses motherfucking fuckers in their fucking two truck. Fuck these fuck(sic)abusers, and fuck these fucking rumors.”, they just emanate Limp Bizkit energy.

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It is a very passionate, real, well produced and well-conceived album; it bears themes that are immensely important to be brought to the music scene, and by mixing that message with its explosive and polished production, it amplifies it a ton. However, as powerful as her deliveries are, I believe Backxwash can go much further with her songwriting and song structuring in the future, as well as her intonation, because that was really all that was keeping this album from being legendary. If she can do more of this in songs that are longer and super focused around whichever topic she decides, she can make something legendary. And thank God she got reviewed by Fantano, I hope she can take this opportunity and make something huge out of this.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: Into The Void, Black Sheep, God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It, Adolescence, Black Magic

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Spells

 7.7/10

“Chosen one, sad bitch, lowest scum. Coldest, huh, black sheep talk to ‘em. If the situation changed I would have said the same shit, exactly the same.”

[yellowsugarwords]

I saw that you did on what topics the kids are more interested in so i wanted to know what the Ericson kids type of music and bands/singers they listen to. Like we know Louis likes classical music so i wanna know the rest. Have a nice day btw ~ 🎸🖤

I’m gonna write this in the context of the apocalypse, but that the kids stumble across a bigger box of records in one of the store rooms :) and thank you anon! I hope your day has been good too!

Clementine: Clementine was a fan of whatever made AJ happiest, but genuinely found herself enjoying the jazz record Ericson had. It reminded her of her parents - the way they would always play jazz music in the living room whenever her relatives came to visit. Mom always said it was their “fancy record,” the one they valued most. It made Clementine feel closer to home.

AJ: AJ was mesmerized by all music, having never experienced it before. Any record someone could slap on he’d love, although he was addicted to the only pop hits record Ericson had. “It makes me want to dance!” He’d explain to Clementine. “It makes me happy.”

Marlon: Marlon preferred either the music he recognized or music that blended into the background so he could get work done. He only liked a handful of songs on their rock record, even though it used to be his favourite genre, and normally resorted to listening to swing or classical. “Nowadays, I always have something to do.” He’d explain. “I don’t have time to not.”

Louis: Classical music is clearly a fav of Louis, but due to the apocalypse he had trouble differentiating between artists. To him, they all fell under the realm “classical,” and he loved them all equally.

Violet: Violet couldn’t explain it, but she loved the jazz records that Ericson had. While she’d still listen to the rock records they’d stumbled across with some of the other kids, she’d never admit how much she loved it whenever someone put on jazz. She’d also never admit how bummed out she got whenever they turned it off.

Mitch: Before the apocalypse, Mitch loved rock. Especially classic rock. He was on top of the moon when he found a ‘classic rock hits” record in one of their new boxes. He popped it in whenever he got the chance, jamming to Queen and Elton John.

Willy: Like Mitch, Willy decently enjoyed rock music but also genuinely enjoyed swing music. It made him want to dance - something he’d never had the chance to do before. Whenever he danced absentmindedly, it felt as if nothing else mattered.

Aasim: Aasim would love swing music, mainly it was because the most upbeat out of the handful of records they had to listen to at Ericson. “I don’t know how you can feel down when listening to something like this.” He’d say, beaming.

Ruby: Ruby would love the rock music Mitch always put on, but had a calling to jazz. Normally she listened to it alone or when everyone else had gone to sleep, as not many people enjoyed listening to it with her. She’d sit, eyes closed, and let the music carry her away.

Tenn: Tenn, like Louis, really enjoyed classical music. It felt like wonderful background music for whenever he as drawing, and he felt like it gave him more creative drive and inspiration. He couldn't explain it, but Louis knew exactly what he emant. “Can we put on my favourite?” He’d always ask when searching for one of the two classical records Ericson had.

Omar: The pop record without a doubt. Omar danced like nobody else to that record. It came on and everything else for him stopped. It was so upbeat and happy and free that Omar couldn’t help but feel free. “How can you not love these guys?” He’d ask, not knowing any artist on the record.

Brody: Brody adored the pop record. She remembered all of the songs clearly - ones she would sing with her mom in the kitchen before she was sent away for school. It reminded her of simpler times. She felt as though she was closer with her mom whenever she sat down to listen to ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.’

[kristallioness]

August Recap

Hey, dear followers! Let me start by saying that.. phew, there are a lot of you now! Even more than a thousand. Which means that I need to do a new follow forever since the last one I made back in.. April 2017? Wow, took some time to gather that final quarter missing from a 1,000.

I'm happy to say that this is a legit number, because I recently cleaned up my list of followers by blocking all the obvious porn, bot and/or bot-porn blogs.

However, I'm gonna postpone making this new follow forever until I have a new banner for it. Namely, I still have 4 super-belated Kataang Week submissions to finish (2 drawings, 2 fics) and I intend to use one of these images as the banner.

I feel bad enough for not finishing these on time, or getting anything related to my blog done in time recently, for that matter. Life has been hectic since March, when I began applying for all available internship/job positions that could possibly suit me (and the same cycle started again now).

As some of you may remember, I eventually managed to get a 2-month paid internship for the summer. Well, I finished it in the middle of August and I have nothing but positive words to say about the company, their employees, the working environment.. everything!

I really would've wanted to continue working there full-time, but they didn't have an opening for the position my internship was built on. Nevertheless, I'll keep my eye out for similar available positions in the future and try again when (or if) the time comes.

But I shall always remember the time together with them fondly. The feeling of success (since I finished my work on time), gratitude and happiness outweigh the feeling of sadness about having to leave. I sketched this into my notebook the day I left and showed it to my team, including my mentor (they were all rather fond of it):

A couple of days earlier, as I was waiting for the tram to go to work in the morning, I saw a little girl walk to the stop opposite to mine together with her mother. She was carrying a pretty plush Princess Celestia from "My Little Pony". These bigger-sized ponies had been on sale for a long time in many shops, so I decided that I'm gonna go buy one for myself, too.

So, the day my internship ended, I brought all the gifts and my diploma home, went back outside and headed to the toy stores nearby. I didn't buy any of these ponies since the bigger ones seem to be sold out. But I accidentally stumbled across an even prettier toy:

It was Trinket from "Nella the Princess Knight", only 1 remaining and she was more than HALF OFF! I felt like the luckiest girl in the world! I'd checked out the smaller ones a while ago, but those Trinkets didn't seem as pretty as this big one. And she was coming home with me!

I barely got to cuddle her in bed for one night when I suddenly came down with a sore throat the next day. My mentor had also fallen ill a few days prior to the end of my internship, so it was no mystery where I caught it from.. I'm practically healed now, just gotta get rid of this stuffy nose that keeps bothering me twice a day.

Anyways, after my sore throat had almost gone away and my runny nose began to act up, I still went to celebrate the Restoration of Estonia's Independence on the 20th August together with my dad by going to a family event at our television tower in Tallinn.

The television tower is the place that normal citizens came to protect from the Soviet tanks the day after we'd declared ourselves independent from the Soviet Union in 1991. The Estonians were lucky, because the Russians didn't open fire against us and eventually withdrew their troops. Unfortunately, the Latvians and Lithuanians suffered from human losses that day, trying to protect their own important landmarks.

For the first time, I actually had a strong feeling of pride, joy and festivity. We haven't really celebrated this day in any special way so far (except for maybe buying a small cake or watching the reception at the President's residence at Kadriorg on TV), but going to this event made it feel more special this year.

The police, fire department, ambulance, Defensive Forces (Kaitseliit), Women's Defence League (Naiskodukaitse), our NATO allies and other important organizations demonstrated their equipment and skills.

(Btw you Americans can curse YOUR police as much as you want, but the police here in Estonia, and most likely in the rest of Europe, are NOTHING like it compared to yours. They are respected, do excellent work in protecting our citizens and catching criminals, do not follow racist beliefs, use a gun ONLY as a last resort. Of course, we have very, VERY strict gun laws here, too, so they RARELY need to use their arms anyway.. Frankly, I wish there were more of them on patrol, due to so many drunk drivers getting caught each day in my country. So if you EVER dare say something disgusting about OUR police, I will come at you.)

The President of Estonia, Kersti Kaljulaid, together with the President of Lithuania, Gitanas Nausėda, gave short speeches and had a nice walk around the area as well. It was hilarious since, moments before the two Presidents arrived, a small cloud appeared above us and it began pouring so hard that most people fled to the nearby tents. The benches in front of the stage became empty and one group of people huddled together in front of it (the top edge provided them with some cover from the heavy rain).

Once Kersti Kaljulaid finished with her speech, she gazed upon the small crowd in front of the stage and noticed a couple of kids. I think they must've wanted to say something sweet to her, or she wanted to "rescue" them from the rain.. Either way, she grabbed them by their hands and helped them climb up on the stage, after which those two kids hugged her. I swear, I melted into a puddle right then and there! It was soooo adorable! I love our President SO MUCH (and this isn't the only reason why)! I even managed to take a photo of the moment:

Later in the evening, one of our most famous, handsome sexiest and loved male singers, Uku Suviste, gave a free concert to everyone who'd decided to stay until the end. I even got to take a photo together with him! (@thecaroliner can see it on Facebook.)

Before I temporarily moved back home from my rented apartment, me and my dad went on a ride in the new Skywheel of Tallinn at T1 Mall of Tallinn. It's a brand new ferris wheel, which was opened in April this year, and it's a part of the capital's silhouette now.

I'd been wanting to go ride it since the beginning of June, as soon as I'd moved to the capital. But since my internship absorbed most of my spare time and I was beat during the weekends, I thought it'd be a lovely reward for myself (for finishing my internship) in the end.

I definitely wanna go ride it again at nighttime this coming winter, when the snow has covered the streets and the streetlights and Christmas decorations light up the entire capital. I can imagine what a beautiful sight this will be! And I wanna take photos of it.

I had the biggest surprise after I'd got off the ride. There's a small shop on the floor where you can enter the ferris wheel, and I happened to see a plush toy of Rubble from "Paw Patrol". Yay! Now I have all 4 available pups (I do wish they'd make ones for Rocky, Zuma, Everest aaaand.. *searches the name*.. Tracker, too!):

*wipes forehead* Oh boy, writing all of this down took some time.. But it was fun to go through all these awesome things I did this month. And to write down what I need to do during these upcoming months (which includes making a longer post about the Dance and Song Festival I went to at the beginning of July, cause this was kind of important). I hope you've all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it all together!

[alexconfusion]

1-100 please (I’m serious... or at least do like 20 of em. The first twenty. But I’d prefer them all)

Is this a challenge

1 Middle Name- Katherine

2 Age- 13 (yah I know I’m a baby blah blah blah shut up guys djskdjjd)

3 Birthday- May 8, 2006 (8:29am, to be exact)

4 Zodiac- sun: Taurus moon: Virgo, I believe

5 Fav Color- blue is my aesthetic but purple is my fav

6 My Lucky Number- five

7 Pets- two guinea pigs (ginny and lily), two dogs (bailey and maya) [i will provide pics if you want]

8 Where I’m From- Massachusetts

9 Height- 5’1

10 Shoe Size- eight

11 How Many Pairs of Shoes I Own- three

12 My Last Dream- Shane Dawson fixed my family issues and helped me come out to them (it was awesome, 10/10 would do again)

13 My Talents- piano (I have soundcloud check it out if u want), writing

14 Am I Psychic- HELL YEAH I AM shoot me an ask if u wanna know more cuz it’s kind of a long story (ok maybe not actually psychic but it’s a fun story)

15 Favorite Song- Amnesia - 5sos (it makes me cry every time and I don’t even care)

16 Favorite Movie- Into the Spider-Verse

17 My Ideal Partner - idk u tell me

18 Do I Want Kids?- potentially, but if I did I would adopt

19 Do I Want a Church Wedding- nah they look boring. I was part of the wedding party for my cousins wedding and it was absolute torture

20 Am I Religious- not really

21 Have I Ever Been to the Hospital- yeah, I was seven and stepped on glass at the beach (huge gash, kinda gorey, wouldn’t reccomend) anyways I didn’t know I cut my foot open at first and walked around the beach and a fuck ton of sand got in it (I had a very rough summer)

22 Have I Ever Been in Trouble With the Law- fuck no who do you think I am??

23 Have I Met any Celebrities- nope

24 Baths or Showers- showers duh, they’re good for so many things: crying, hair washing, pretending you’re standing in the rain,

25 What Color Socks am I Wearing- striped gray with blue owls (yes they are lit)

26 Have I Ever Been Famous- uh no

27 Would I Like to be a Celebrity?- sometimes I think it would be cool because if I make a lot of money I could help a lot of people, but usually no because having privacy is important to me

28 What Type of Music do I like- pretty much anything but acoustic versions have always had a special place in my heart

29 Have I Ever Been Skinny Dipping?- no gross

30 How Many Pillows do I Sleep With- one on each end of the bed so I can flip upside down and still have a pillow

31 What Position do I Sleep in-

(It’s comfy)

32 How Big is My House- two main floors, attic, basement

33 What do I Have for Breakfast- usually nothing, either because I slept through the normal breakfast time or because I didn’t have time to eat

34 Have I Ever Fired a Gun- no

35 Have I Ever Tried Archery?- Hell yeah I did, summer camp was a wild time almost shot someone in the face

36 Fav Clean Word- twilight

37 Fav Swear Word- fuck

38 Longest I’ve Ever Went Without Sleep- forty eight hours (those were two of the best days of my life btw)

39 Do I Have Any Scars- yeah

40 Have I Ever Had a Secret Admirer- nope but I wish

41 Am I a Good Liar- fantastic, actually

42 Am I a Good Judge of Character- what,, what does this mean??

43 Can I do Any Accents- I can do a really terrible British accent but nobody likes it

44 Do I Have a Strong Accent- nope

45 What is my Favorite Accent- Australian

46 What is my personality type- on the Myers Briggs test I’m an Adventurer (it’s creepily spot on, I highly recommend taking it)

47 My Most Expensive Piece of Clothing- Are vans clothing? If so my blue high top vans that I fucking adore. If not, probably my adidas shorts or something

48 Can I Curl My Tongue- I can do the classic fold in half one and the three leaf clover. look it up, it’s cool as hell

49 Am I am Innie or an Outie- innie

50 Right or Left Handed- right, but I’m ambidextrous when playing golf and I play lacross lefty

51 Am I Scared of Spiders- a little, not a phobia

52 Favorite Food- pears or frozen yogurt

53 Favorite Foreign Food- sushi

54 Am I a Clean or Messy Person- tbh it fluctuates but mostly clean. Like I myself am clean but my room is a wreck yknow

55 Most Used Phrase- “oh shit”

56 Most Used Word- oof

57 How Long do I Take to Get Ready- ten minutes, fifteen tops and five minimum

58 Do I Have an Ego- I don’t think so?

59 Do I Suck or Bite Lolipops- bite

60 Do I Talk to Myself- sometimes, it’s usually just strings of curse words

61 Do I Sing to Myself- yeah on occasion

62 Am I a Good Singer- no but my friends seem to think so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

63 Biggest Fear- losing everyone I care about/everyone I care about hating me

64 Am I a Gossip?- only if it’s not something serious and only to my closest friend

65 Best Dramatic Movie I’ve Seen- schindlers list, haven’t seen the whole thing (I’m kinda scared to) but it looks incredible even though it’s so horrific

66 Do I Like Long or Short Hair- I don’t really care, but I do kind of like longer hair on other people (i.e I like girls) (yes girls with short hair are awesome too but long/medium length hair is just.. yeah.)

67 Can I Name all 50 Stares of America- I could when I was 8 but now I can only list like 10

68 Favorite School Subject- English

69 (haha) Extrovert or Introvert- introvert

70 Have I Ever Been Scuba Diving- no and I don’t think I’d want to

71 What Makes Me Nervous- talking to people I don’t know

72 Am I Scared Of The Dark- not really. unless I like hear a noise and start imagining all the possible causes of the noise and freak myself out

73 Do I Correct People When They Make Mistakes- yeah sometimes, but I try to do it as nicely as I can (unless I don’t like the person *cough* my brother *cough*)

74 Am I Ticklish- yes. very.

75 Have I Ever Started a Rumor- no, but people thought I did and that was a whole mess

76 Have I Ever Been in a Position of Authority- I mean I was a captain when we played kickball in gym (does that count)

77 Have I Ever Drank Underage- nope, and I don’t intent to

78 Have I Ever Done Drugs- nope, and I don’t intend to

79 Who Was My First Real Crush- olivia, fifth grade. I pretended I had a crush on the guy next to her so I could stare at her and pretend I was looking at him

80 How Many Piercings Do I Have- none

81 Can I Roll My Rs- no matter how hard I try I can never seem to get the hang of it. and I’ve tried, believe me, I sound like an idiot every time but I still try

82 How Fast Can I Type- 135 wpm

83 How Fast Can I Run- Moderately fast, but not for very long

84 What Color is My Hair- dirty blonde

85 What Color Are My Eyes- they switch between gray, green, and blue, but they’re mostly a combination of all three with green being the most noticeable (I ask people this question a lot and they usually say blue or green)

86 What am I Allergic to- nothing I’m invincible.

87 Do I Keep a Journal- yup, eight years and counting. fun fact my first entry ever was a full two and a half pages about dolphin facts, complete with a picture

88 What do My Parents do- my moms a vet, idk what my dad does (it’s something with pharmaceuticals I think)

89 Do I Like My Age- eh on the one hand I can say I’m a teen but on the other people are like “omg!!! babey???? ur a babey omfg..”

90 What Makes Me Angry- when people are condescending or hypocritical

91 Do I Like My Name- I hate my first name (irl it’s not alex but I’ll probably end up changing it) and I hate my last name (long story) but I kinda like my middle name cuz it reminds me of Six

92 Have I Thought if Baby Names, if so What Are They- idk I’d probably name them after my friends (i.e hailey, lander, flan, drew, finn, that’s about it)

93 Do I Want a Boy or Girl For a Child- first of all when did I say I wanted a child and second of all I don’t care

94 What Are My Strengths- shitposts

95 What Are My Weaknesses- dealing with emotions, controlling anger, handling criticism, there are definitely others but I’m tired okay

96 How Did I Get My Name- first name: bible, middle name: my great grandmother, last name: my dad

97 Were My Ancestors Royalty- not that I know of

98 Do I Have Any Scars- see #39

99 What Color is My Bedspread- I don’t have one but my sheet is dark blue

100 What Color is My Room- a light blue teal-ish color

[dreamiesformula]

Triggered - Seo Changbin

When the one person you trusted to not break your heart does just that... how do you recover? Broken one too many times before can you forgive him?

To say you were insecure was an understatement, your whole life you were made to feel less than everyone else, worthless, ugly and a waste of time. That was until you met Seo Changbin rapper for famous idol group Stray Kids, exactly 2 years ago today. He made your life worth something, he made you feel loved, wanted, needed he made you feel beautiful. So you wanted to make him feel special and surprise him with lunch, before your very exciting anniversary night but shit backfires!

Y/N’s P.O.V

He is everything that’s good and I felt so bad about having to rush to my best friend Jack’s house early morning, but it was only cause he is helping me to organise Binnie’s surprise for tonight! Dinner at his favourite restaurant, 2 tickets to a Chase Atlantic concert being performed in a bar (since he said he wanted to see my favourite band live with me), then back to my place for a long night of appreciation and sentimental words, oh and loving.

Walking into the JYPE building even after all this time still made me nervous, I’d brought enough for the 10 of us to eat but probably would end up making sure Changbin ate enough for the both of us. I make my way to the dance studio where they undoubtedly are overworking to perfect their lastest comeback, but to my surprise I hear them talking.

“I just can’t handle Y/N today man, the stress and exhaustion may be getting to me but god I can’t deal with her insecurities. Every night she’s crying over something new, worrying I’ll leave her, skipping meals. Every single time I come home she’s panicked and I can’t deal with her insomnia one more sleepless night I’m gonna lose my shit.” I hear Changbin ramble on, standing at the door awe struck and frozen with fear. I hear footsteps...

“That’s not nice Changbin!” Jeongin defends me, bless him he’s always been so kind to me.

“Yeah maybe you’re being a little bit harsh, she’s had it rough and on today of all days you shouldn’t be bagging out the girl you’re dating.” Chan agrees knowing full well what today was while Changbin seemed lost.

“Today of all days? What do you mean?” Tears start rolling down my cheeks as the foot steps getting closer before you could process the door swings open revealing a very shocked looking Jeongin and scared looking Chan.

“Don’t.” I choke out handing Chan the food and with blurry vision and my head up high looking Changbin dead in the eyes. “I know where I stand, happy anniversary btw asshole. Enjoy it on your own!” Sarcasm lacing my voice as I spin on my heels ignoring the pleads of the boy who was and is my world.

Changbin’s P.O.V

I go to chase after her, I was dumb, I didn’t mean any of it. I said it myself I’m just tired and stressed, one things for sure, I need her.

“Changbin, Jyp is on his way and you know that, you can’t leave now.” Woojin scolds.

“Hyung, I cant just let her leave, not like this, not today, not anyday. I need her I was just being a dick, you all know that.” I say pointing to the members.

“I’m sorry but right now Woojin is right, she’s already gone, your damage has been dealt.” Minho backs Woojin up looking at the boy sorrow filling his eyes, Minho of all people knew the extent to which Changbin needed Y/N.

“Did you really forget what today was Bin?” Felix asks, his voice a whisper as he stood beside the boy.

“Yes.” He breaks “I fucking forgot.” He colaspes to the ground in his own sorrow he doesn’t hear his boss entering the studio.

“Changbin, what’s wrong?” The man dressed in casual attire sounds genuinely concerned.

“I-I -I’m just a bit cranky today sir, I’m sorry.” He stands up momentarily regaining his composure.

“Well you boys have tonight off, but I wanted 3 racha to go to a show tonight. The group is an Aussie group, I figured you’d like that Chan...” he chuckles to himself “the point is to widen your musical exposure and hopefully give you some ideas for beats, composition and you’ll have a chance to talk to them afterwards. In return they’ll come to your show later this month, their manager wanted them to have some free time and they wanted to check you boys out after hearing that you’ll be watching them.” They all nod Changbin regretting so afterwards.

“The show starts at 8pm, goes for about 2 hours and you’ll meet them afterwards. Changbin I know it’s your anniversary but is there anyways you could call Y/N, I’ll pay for your make up date, I know how inconvenient this must be and I’m so sorry.” He smiles genuinely patting the boy’s back and walking out.

“Fuck as if it couldn’t get any worse.” He grunts turning to Chan who’s still holding the bag.

“She brought this for us.” Chan says followed by “She’d want us to eat it regardless.” A bittersweet smile on my face as I realise exactly the magnitude to which I have just fucked up.

Y/N’S P.O.V

“Yo mitty, so I’m coming to your show tonight, was wondering if you and the boys wanted to get drinks after. Like old times back home!” I ask excitement filling my broken voice, my voice hoarse from an hour of sobbing until I decided I’d just go to my friends concert and let lose. Have a good time like we used to!

“You know I’m always down for that, but we gotta meet with some idols or something after who are coming, you’re more than welcome to join back stage. We can race fireball like old times?” The boy chuckles over the line.

“Alright Cave, you’re on!” I smile proudly knowing I’ll kick his ass just like old times!

“Alright cutie you’re on.” With that he hangs up the line, cutie was what he used to call me in highschool. Some junior tried to hit on me during our last year and he swooped into rescue me, I miss those times. No broken heart, no betrayal, just a bunch of idiot friends having a good laugh and writing some songs.

I get dressed while calling Casper to update him on the situation. I take my lacey black bra and pair it with some black ripped skinny jeans and a pair of combat boots and leather jacket to top off the bad ass bitch vibe for tonight. Put my piercings in, necklaces on, straighten my hair and do some light make up and boom ready to have an awesome time. Despite the ever growing pit of grief in my stomach, was I really that needy? Desperate? Clingy? That I managed to make Changbin the man who would always call me the love of his life, hate me.

Changbin’s P.O.V

3RACHA pulling up looking hot as fuck. Chan dressed in his mixtape 4 outfit (cause that’s a fat OOF 🤤), Han Jisung wearing his outfit from the boxer street video (p.s author loves her baby UWU he’s so handsome.) and Changbin wearing his outfit from SBS Inkigayo ep 997 (because Oml What an absolute king of I am not a goth but black is such my colour and I own this shit). Okay visual cue out!

“What the fuck is up Seoul? We’re Chase Atlantic thanks for coming out tonight.” The crowd screams “it’s super amazing to be here tonight and we hope you all have a dope time, our first song tonight is Triggered. I wanna hear you get loud.” A man with long dirty blonde / brown hair hypes the crowd up and they begin. The music itself wasn’t bad but most of the lyrics went in one ear out the other, lots about drugs but then again I only picked up half the songs contents but after all we were only there to listen to their use of sources, beats and their instruments so if it works, it works.

Next was a song called Swin, Cassie, Into It, 23, Lust, Friends, Uncomfortable, Drugs & Money, Right Here, What U Call That, Ozone, Devilish, The Walls, Okay and then they talked for a little. I scan through the crowd from our seats which were front section of second level as I was not really understanding what they were talking about until I see her, there she was, Y/N here, or at least I think it’s her I can only see her back but she’s got the jacket I gave her on. It had a SPEAR.B patch on the back, one she had designed for me when we were only known as 3RACHA. Surely it’s her the hair colour and jacket, surely that’s MY Y/N.

“Oi Chan?” I turn to the blonde haired Aussie to my left “is that Y/N?” I question pointing to where the girl is.

“Looks like it, that’s her jacket after all and this is her favourite band.” He looks slightly annoyed I hadn’t put two and two together, Aussie band, Chase Atlantic. Y/N always talked about how one day we’d go to their concert and we’d be the hottest couple because she had me. I told her I wanted to go see the things she loves. Jesus today keeps getting worse. Time ticks on and I can’t help but watch her, the girl I love, dancing with some other guy, laughing, singing, being happy. When I left her broken-hearted.

“This is our last few songs, these are You Too, Meddle About and Like A Rockstar! Enjoy Seoul you’ve been fucking awesome.”

I watch by as she gets crazy, let’s go and enjoys herself. Was she really unphased? No, I could tell, I know her better than anyone.

The boys wrap up the show and I watch as the lead singer leaves before we head back stage. My eyes searching for her, but she’s no where to be seem.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“MITTY” I scream as I hurl myself at my oldest friend who’s laying in the green room couch. “CUTIE!” He screams back tickling me “how the fuck have you been man?” I ask as we spend time catching up we hear a knock. “Yeah come in” Mitchael screams “bro my fucking ears, Jesus” I complain getting off of him and going towards Clinton as he’s where the drinks are. “Clint? Gimme something strong yeah?” I plead “Jesus rough day?” He chuckles “you have no idea man. No I fucking dear” I sigh turning around and regretting it instantly.

There he stood, Seo Changbin looking as good as ever. Without much thought I down the entire drink and head back to sit with Mitchel, Chan breaks the momentary awkward silence “hello it’s nice to meet you, we are 3RACHA.” Chan extends his hand to Mitchel but instead he bro hugs him, “how’d you enjoy the show man?” Clinton asks Changbin as they bro hug “uh... it was really good, I-I really like the uh compositions of your music-c.” I smile slightly to myself he’s doing so well my precious boy, Y/N SNAP. OUT. OF. IT. “That’s so nice, thanks bro.”

The night or the next hour and 30 minutes at least consisted of everyone sitting on the couches sharing advice, ideas, stories and me on my phone. “You know this little chick right here is pretty good with a beat, we used to have jam sessions and she always started our old songs.” Mitchel looks down at me as I occupy the space next to him, “she even sends us samples and lyrics still to this day, cutie over here got mad skills.” My eyes go wide knowing full well Changbin just heard and understood everything that was said, I hum from behind my phone screen too scared to look up in fear I’d meet his eyes. Those same eyes I can feel burning a hole into my forehead right now, “how about we watch some of your videos, I know we get to see you live soon but aye give us a sneak peak!” Clinton changes the topic, my life saver. Chan pulls out his phone and everyone huddled around where he was sitting I stand at the back close to Changbin just too rest the waters, knowing he was both sad and jealous I didn’t want to escalate things. He notices my position and while everyone is focused on the phone snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me closer into his side “baby, you know I love you. I was a dick I am so sorry. I need you to stay with me. Please love.” He whispers in my ear sending shivers down my spine as he peppers soft, sweet kisses along my neck, “we will talk about this later” I muster up all the courage I can to detach myself from his side and go back to sitting on the couch scrolling through my phone. “Y/N, you good?” Clinton asks knowing I’ve had a few drinks “yeah boys, all g” I smile.

“Talk about sick beats man, those are dope. So you make all your own shit. Composing, mixing, lyrics. The whole lot yeah?” Changbin nods “yeah the whole lot.” He smiles confidently, fuck he’s making this hard.