#these puzzles stumped me so hard lol

[wendydoodles]

So nice of the monsters to wait during puzzle time...

[finniestoncrane]

Sup dude! I have some NSFW emoji's for Ak Eddie, because I'm so normal about him lol 😈🫠💚

I didn't know which one to pick between these 3, so you can pick <3 🎉,😺 or 🎥

Lots of love 💚

🎉 celebration sex headcanon

it's like a reward!! he's often so overcome with positive emotions (and to be honest, a complete hard-on for his own genius) once he's solved a problem or finished a project or figured out the best puzzle to stump batman that he's entirely incapable of holding himself back from you. he's walking up to you practically humping the air, so you know to prepare yourself for a rough ride

😺 how they eat the pussy

like he's actually eating it. face burie, nose against your clit, tongue inside, lips clamped around yours like a suction cup, throat filled with your slick as he sucks deep and hard

🎥 filming or making a sexy movie

he's got all the equipment to hand, he just has to make sure that he doesn't mistake your private movie with his recorded riddles for batman... would be a shame is the dark knight was to see you being completely ravished by eddie... or would it... would it actually give eddie a bit of an ego boost... much to think about...

send me a nsfw headcanon prompt

[heartshapedbubble]

Ooo could you write luchino and wu chang walking in on their s/o getting punched in the mouth. The context that they missed is that s/o tried to stop a fight but ended up getting their ass handed to em, it did work tho! Fight did stop, mission failed successfully lol

Oh hey look a scorpion 🦂

i love asks like these they make me smile so hard when i get them (these r a bit short tho sorry :c)

scorpion i hope you're still with us now in the moment of posting🙏🙏 you're a real warrior

luchino diruse and wu chang walking in on their s/o getting punched in the mouth hcs🦎☂️

luchino diruse🦎

"Amore mio, where are y- What just happened? What have you done to them!?"

jumps the second he sees the scene in front of him, going straight for the other person's head

you'll have to restrain (warning: very hard considering he weighs the same as an adult grizzly bear and your hands will hurt due to his scales) and keep convincing him for a good 5 minutes that it's your fault, not theirs

good luck with having the patience to get that through tho since he's going to be spewing insults in italian at them and hissing, seeing only red

once it finally gets to him he's... confused? but at the same time he feels incredibly ashamed and will apologize profusely to the other person

as you two get going he's going to groan about how careless you can be and how sometimes you should rethink things before acting

all that complaining while he simultaneously plants you on his shoulder and wipes the blood from your face :')

"Tsk, splendore, you should really think things through first with that head of yours... promise me that you'll be more careful next time, piantagrane, will you? "

wu chang☂️

"___, dearest? Where are you- Oh my!"

xie tries to avoid conflict at all costs so he's quite stumped at first

the first thing he goes for is you, kneeling down and grabbing you the second before you lose your balance and hit the floor

not releasing you from his grip (in fact, he pulls you even closer to him), he starts questioning the other person, his tone hostile and less composed than usual

he's not that much of a hothead so telling him the truth won't take long, and he'll formally apologize to the other person for accusing them, although puzzled on why you're being so defensive of them - you were the one who got hit, after all...

the second you two get a bit further away he starts tending to your injury, not wasting any time, wiping blood off of your lips and nose with his sleeve and checking your jaw in case of broken teeth

"I'm so relieved it wasn't anything worse than this... but please, sweetie, will you be more careful next time? You almost gave me a heart attack... I know you had good intentions, but sometimes you really have to know how to control yourself."

~

"___? Come here, where did you g- Ah, god."

fan would barely supress his laughter tbh

goes up to you, picks up the entirety of your body weight with one hand and puts you back on your feet

starts nagging the other person for details, not even being mad, until you tell him what actually happened and he just loses it and starts laughing uncontrollably

takes you by your hand and yanks you away with him, still laughing as he says his goodbyes

wujiu can be evil yes (especially in this scenario) but he's not a complete asshole 😞 although he'll annoy you to no end about your failed little heroic attempt to stop a fight he'll be doing it so you're going to be less focused on him brushing the blood off your chin with his thumb (GOD FORBID wujiu shows affection without sneaking in something mean)

"Jeez, ___, you should have seen your face when you got hit! You should have known what was coming the second you tried to intervene... H-hey now, would you stop wriggling?! There's more blood under your nose..."

[jojo-schmo]

what are your personal favorite headcanons for meta knight?

Boy, oh BOY am I glad you asked!! You have unleashed me!!

First of all, I am very much Team White-Eyed Meta!!! (And his pretty pink cheeks!!!!!) -slams my drawing from last year on the table as exhibit A-

I respect everyone on Team Yellow-Eyed Meta since that's what is technically canon. But I just think drawing white eyes is so fun and pretty to look at... My first Kirby game was Squeak Squad and I was so mesmerized by his pretty white eyes when they were revealed for that split second! I'd replay that boss fight a bunch as a kid just to see them.

So yeah, I have the power to be in denial about a few facts for my own amusement and that's one of them. Draw and consume the content that makes you happiest, friends!! :P

About his backstory and origins, I don't have any solid headcanons of my own since I really like seeing other people's takes on it! Being Dark Matter-born, made by Nightmare, blending anime and game lore together, etc. There's so much I enjoy! His mysterious past can be frustratingly open-ended but at least it's given a lot of people the opportunity to be super creative!

I do like to think he gets more enjoyment out of a good, honest battle than he likes to let on. I mean, it's what he's best at! He fights for fun! An entire arena was built for him in Waddle Dee Town!

...So speaking of fighting, I've been doing some thinking about his powers... Like a lot of thinking. This is what I really wanna talk about!!

He's got some good old-fashioned, hard-earned skill with a sword. Probably from years of training. But his more powerful attacks use a lot of wind and electricity. That's why I think Meta Knight has the power of Storms.

Some examples of his use of wind:

One of his signature moves is Mach Tornado, after all!

Now, the bat effect to his spin in RtDL Deluxe kinda puzzles me. It just looks cooler I guess. This is a dude who put his face on his airship so why not have tiny bat particles come from your signature moves? Could just be a natural evolution of his power growing stronger, teehee.

Anyway, here are some examples of his use of electricity: (This man has a LOT of electric effects in his attacks!)

So much electricity!! Zappo! Bzzzzt!

And as a bonus, when Meta unsheathes Galaxia in the anime it materializes from lightning. THAT IS DOPE AS HELL. I don't personally subscribe to much of the anime lore, but I eat this detail UP.

Next, I used to think Meta had telekinesis because of Star Allies. All that purple aura when he lifts the rocks seems like solid evidence.

But then he does the same move in Forgotten Land and he's actually lifting the rocks with wind!! And a lot of it!! So his mastery of wind is significant to me! Probably helps him fly better too! I think his use of wind could certainly give his opponents the impression that he has telekinesis and psych them out a bit!

Finally, I used to think his duplication move was because of the Jamba Heart in Star Allies but I realized he does this in the Kirby Mass Attack mini game (whose canonicity is probably up for debate, but hey.) I'm willing to hear someone else out for an explanation because I'm stumped! Lol :P

....So yeah!! TLDR I think he is a swordsman with the power of Storms!

I'm interested to see other people's takes on him, this is just what I've made up for myself, haha! Either way, I love Meta Knight and he is super cool!! Thanks for reading!!

[lipsticklens]

🍓🍎🍊🍌🍏🥥🌶️🥬🍄‍🟫 for anyone of your choosing :3c

— @mister-ancunin !!!

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

ooo that's tricky, because i think there's a few different schools of thought ... honestly, i think he would've liked to go to college for something simple but intelligent ( like engineering or smthn? ) but he's so good with kids, and he loves them so much, i do think he would ultimately like to stay in education. just maybe without having the weight of all mutantkind on his shoulders ;;

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

does soup count?? lolol... honestly i'm sure it says somewhere off-handedly in a comic, but i'm not finding anything in search results ... honestly i think he drinks water more than anything else. maybe a nice sparkling water? ooo i bet he loves la croix. the beach plum flavor of la croix. final answer lol

i don't see him as a heavy drinker, btw. he indulges socially or if he's really upset. but he isn't inclined to drink a beer over a soda, for example.

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

i think he'd be a little concerned tbh - like, are my hands shaky? or weak? am i feeling ok? ( i usually actively want to peel my own oranges, because my sensory needs are very specific when it comes to fruit ) but he would definitely do it! and he'd make it as clean as possible, peeling off all the white bits and stingy parts, since he knows it's hard for me to have inconsistent textures in my mouth ♡♡

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

he loovves the big light lolol i think he likes a room to be as brightly lit as possible. "what's the use of a room you can't see everything in?" type of thinking. he would have the big light and all the lamps on in a room at once ... if he didn't have to worry about the electrical bill, that is.

( honestly i suspect having light shining on everything helps him see, since he's vision impaired and has to decipher everything through a very red color filter. but he doesn't want to admit it. )

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

i headcanon him as a bisexual trans man!

i think he knew he was a boy from a very early age, but didn't put it into words until professor xavier took him in. and of course, xavier was extremely supportive. i see him transitioning pretty fast and early on. like, it wasn't even a big discussion? he was very certain of it all.

being bisexual came on slower for him, i think. maybe mostly because he didn't realize it was odd to find your male friends so handsome? of course he was head over heels in love with jean right from the start. but honestly i think he would get crushes on boys at school pretty easily and frequently ( sliding in that i also headcanon him as very polyamorous lmao ) maybe he was talking to bobby about how being gay feels? and he realized "ah. i also feel this way... hmm."

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

one of my favorite things about scott is that he has to be very careful in picking hobbies, because he becomes obsessive so quickly and easily. he once played horseshoes for 27 hours and only stopped because bobby pulled the stake out of the ground. me n scott share so many diagnoses honestly . . .

that being said, he loves puzzles of all kinds! jigsaw puzzles, word puzzles, logic puzzles, number puzzles... anything that can stump him for a while! things that are intentionally time consuming.

he also likes board games, billiards, and things that are strategic and competitive at the same time. he likes to show off. and win things.

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

i don't think he has any personal home remedies. honestly no one was around enough in his childhood to pass any down to him (ノдヽ) and once he settled in with xavier and the team, i don't think any of them suggest anything other than medicine. but i'm sure if anyone suggested something enthusiastically enough, he'd be willing to try it! i, for one, definitely convince him to gargle salt water anytime he has a sore throat.

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

uhhh basically everything he does, lmaooo ♡♡ where do i even start. he eats cereal and soup constantly. he keeps all of his clothes and drawers meticulously organized. he used to he a radio announcer. he never deletes notes from his phone or throws away sticky notes ( he's worried he'll need them again later?? ) he's a funny lil guy, for sure . . . ♡

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

well, most fitting would be either a giant or ( ironically ) a phoenix, i think! but as for what he would choose, hmm... tbh i think he would choose a sasquatch. he would like the idea of still having human-like intelligence, but being enough of an animal to live in nature. and he relates to the idea of cryptids being mysterious and powerful, but still hiding from hunters.

[everfascinated]

For the music asks: 20, 21, 23, and 26!

They weren't joking, these questions are hard! I took some time to try and puzzle it out and I'm still not certain of my answers lol

20: A song that has many meanings to you

Swim by Valley - I can't say why, but every other time I listen to this I feel like I get something else out of it

21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

Judith by A Perfect Circle - Looking through my likes and playlists I actually have a surprising amount of songs with people's names in the title, this one always surprises me though. I have a bad memory for song titles and bands, but I know every word of this song even after like two decades knowing it

23: A song that you think everybody should listen to

A Good Song Never Dies by Saint Motel - This is literally so hard for me to choose because A - songs are different things to different people and B - I'm the kind of person who thinks everyone should at least try out 75% of music as a whole lmao This song is super relatable and catchy though

26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

La Vie En Rose by Édith Piaf - This is probably cliché, but it's really true. idk if I'll ever be in romantic love but this song makes me hope for it a little. I enjoy both the English and French versions though I can't hold the lyrics for the second in my head for longer than a few hours lol

Thank you for the ask! If anyone else wants to stump me with music, the list is here!

[hylaversicolor]

ok sea of darkness review

great vibes and ambience. unfortunately the world felt too empty. not the setting as a whole (the emptiness added to the vibes) but the ship especially felt like, for as beautiful as it was, there was nothing in the rooms except for places for you to stand and do sudoku. like there were a lot of locations to visit, but not a lot to do as far as exploring and snooping and like. being a detective. i think ran was the first game to really have this problem but this is a more general problem with the later nd games as a whole. e.g. in trt you dust for fingerprints and unlock a security system with a 4 digit code. if trt had been made in 2013-2015 you would have had to recreate the fibonacci sequence with music notes or something in order to achieve the same effect. like why to unlock soren’s tablet did we have to create volcanic winter with pictograms? isn’t the point of a password to be able to quickly and easily access the info on your tablet rather than ruminating over a puzzle, regardless of how fun and cute it is?? volcanic winter should have been a minigame that you could access Inside soren’s tablet, kind of like finger tips for typing, and maybe soren is obsessed w it and makes nancy play and beat him bc he’s bored and lonely and THEN we get to develop soren’s character while integrating the puzzle into the gameplay idk. also why did we have to play 2048 to turn on the lighthouse, that seems like another thing that you would want to do pretty much instantaneously lol. the game throwing in a little meta joke about how unnecessarily complicated it was didn’t make it better. it would have been really cool to actually have nancy go in and collect materials to improvise lighting the lighthouse from scratch, maybe using refraction or fire starting or something (probably impossible w real physics but whatever nancy operated a jetpack in hau who cares). then you get the sense of urgency of running around grabbing items that you’ve seen before but only now have put together how to combine them to solve a puzzle, rather than just sudoku variant #6049283. i’m biased bc i love mechanical puzzles tho.

i actually did like a lot of the puzzles but a lot of them felt like they should have been bonus puzzles, e.g. i liked that the dinner serving puzzle was optional, it felt like a combination of saw bento and ice cooking but less stressful. for some of the nd games i can understand having puzzles (like cur where it’s multiple generations of genuine eccentrics purposefully creating puzzles to stump their descendants as part of an initiation ritual) but there was absolutely Nothing in lawrence’s character that indicated that he would create something like this for his descendants to solve (i had the same problem with gth). only sort of related but oh my GOD why did magnus have his stuffed animals like that. towards endgame it really did feel like sudoku after sudoku after sudoku for no reason. and again - i enjoyed the puzzles! i like doing puzzles!! the one puzzle that i REALLY loved was the bilge puzzle with the numbers. it felt like classic nd and was quite hard and the sense of urgency was there. but i’d argue having So Many puzzles dragged the plot to a dead standstill and pulled the focus away from the characters.

speaking of, the characters were fine to great. the culprit was too obvious and there was very little mystery around their motivation for me. gunnar was the best character. elisabet was just kind of there and felt like kyler reskinned and done slightly better. soren was fun. dagny was fine but why did the devs put a big chunk of her backstory dialogue over the heater puzzle, like stop talking i’m trying to concentrate lol. there also wasn’t a whole lot of intrigue wrt the characters. people were surprisingly up front with their motivations (esp dagny) which was fine but i felt like the character twists came too late or not at all. you sort of just got what everybody was about from the moment go and there was no need to delve any deeper. again except for gunnar, whose character revelation was really nice and really beautifully acted.

also there wasn’t really a greater theme connecting all the characters. gth for all its flaws did this really well. in sea they tried to do something like “we all treated [culprit] badly because we’re a small town and we should do better” but we didn’t Really get to see that in action. especially from magnus who outright says this but we never really get to see that in writing throughout the game so it kind of comes out of nowhere from him (unless i’m missing something). also magnus was kind of a joke character w his limericks and his obsession w the ship but again when we met him we didn’t really get any of that. i didn’t buy his and elisabet’s connection or relationship and when they got back together at the end i was like oh. uhh..okay. again inconsistent characterization a la thornton hall for the purpose of cramming puzzles into every last nook and cranny of the game

dagny’s lesbianism was like. nothing. i had heard she was a canon lesbian before playing so i was kind of excited to see what HeR would do with it and when i got to it i was so disappointed but i can’t really put my finger on why. i guess it’s not that it was stated nonchalantly but that it’s completely superfluous to the plot whereas they had PLENTY of chances over their entire catalogue of games to change any number of straight romances into gay ones WHILE tying into character themes and beats but they didn’t (colton comes to mind in particular, maybe deirdre too). however i respect that it made a bunch of people on the nd forums very mad. that made me like it a little more lol

they did a good job with the setting but i wanted them to take it even further. there was a little bit of viking and volcano stuff right at the beginning but it didn't really go anywhere. also so sad we didn't get a nancy drew hot springs epsiode :(

anyway despite all that i really loved the game. it was a solid 7 or 8 out of 10 for me. i’ve said this multiple times but the thing that really sells a game for me is the ambience and sea had that in droves. i am personally not a big fan of the puzzles being almost completely divorced from the story but i respect that that’s some people’s thing. i will probably play it again but boy did the matchy puzzles get old by the end

[leobashi]

Hey so I’m doing your crossword and I’ve got 7 left I think? 7 or 6! I’ll have to continue after work but damn this has been hard. I love little research projects like this where you have to catch the little mentions of the answers in the tags of a post- this is very fun!!!!

I do want to mention that someone else tagged me in their post and have only 4 answers left to complete it. I didn’t want to reblog it because I don’t want to spoil the answers

BUT they are currently stumped on some of the hardest ones! I think I’ve mentioned it, but the answers to some of these are things I have mentioned maybe once or not at all online publicly. You might be able to guess the answer based on context clues. The character answers (except my headcanon names for Chase’s children) are all egos, canon and, in some cases, non-canon.

I’m also really glad that you’re enjoying it! I really enjoyed making the crossword puzzle and was worried that people would actually hate it. Tumblr does have a broken tagging system lol. I think I’ll still make a second one just for fun (and I’ll probably provide a prize for that one too for anyone interested).

Also, I completely forgot that I hide so much info in the tags of my post lmao. It’s fun tho ;)

[serinemolecule]

Scenes from the rat Japanese Discord (the unattributed ones are me talking):

-----

word of the day is 大胆

daitan

"large gallbladder"

also "how dare you"

you see, according to traditional chinese medicine, the daring is stored in the gallbladder

-----

fun fact: 黒茶 (black tea) is "dark tea"

bc 紅茶 (red tea) is already "black tea"

I learned this in China

when a tea saleslady showed us 黒茶 and was like "LOL guess what the Americans call this"

-----

ok

here is all you need to know to make conversation like a native:

いい天気ですね

("Nice weather today, huh?")

(I said this after having this conversation like five times that day.)

-----

(source)

"Tactical magic staff"

-----

me: TIL the Enuma Elish is a real thing

me: I'll be honest I only recognize Enuma Elish as the name of a gay hentai involving Gilgamesh the Fate/stay night character

Limitless: not even Gilgamesh's Noble Phantasm? :v

me: look I'm not a nerd

Limitless: yeah fair

me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "yeah fair"

me: "I'm not a nerd" IS LIKE THE LEAST TRUE THING I'VE EVER SAID IN MY LIFE

-----

apparently it's pretty hard to recognize 虹 in isolation

I was like "I can't think of this insect"

turns out, this is because rainbows are not insects

what a misleading radical

-----

nextworldover: 洗熊!

(the Japanese word for "raccoon" is araiguma which means "washbear")

me: it's called a washbear because it washes food before eating it

nextworldover: that's adorable

-----

today I spent a long time trying to puzzle out what kyuubiiroppu was

I haven't been stumped by katakana in a long time

but today, I was defeated

turns out, it's QBLOP

-----

(Outlier kanji dictionary)

"Note that this is a pre-order. We'll be releasing very soon (February 2021)"

love to see this on a website in June 2021

really inspires confidence

-----

(nigero means "retreat!" in Japanese)

-----

me: I remember like 15 years ago when people online learned I was a girl and asked for pics I'd just give them a link to the Google Images search for "hot asian girl"

me: No one's asked for pics in a long time now, all my internet hangouts are too autistic lol

someone: I feel like asking would be impolite but if you feel like randomly sending selfies I won't be offended or anything

me: https://www.google.com/search?q=hot+asian+girl&tbm=isch

me: you walked into this one

-----

(Autocorrect turned "I'm going to be late! please start without me!" into "I'm going to be late! please start blooming!")

-----

(explaining how China started to use "emperor" instead of "king")

in later Warring States period, the other Zhou leaders started calling themselves 王, which was in essence them deciding they were powerful enough that the charade was unnecessary

and this led eventually to Qin Shi Huangdi creating a new title for himself (for conquering the other states, as a treat)

-----

me: word of the day is 泡立て器

me: whisk

me: literally "bubble-making machine"

me: (learned from the instructions on this bag of karaage batter, unrelatedly I'm making karaage)

tototavra: do you have a recipe you'd recommend?

me: recipe:

me: 1. buy a package of powdered karaage batter

me: 2. follow instructions on package

me: this is also how I make mapo tofu ;)

me: now curry, curry I entirely ignore the instructions on package

me: and mapo tofu I add green onion whether or not the package tells me to

-----

someone: So is the school uniform in this comic Chinese, Japanese, or Korean?

me: It's obviously not Chinese, you can tell because it looks good.

me: Chinese school uniforms look like this:

me: And Japan and Korea's school uniforms look like this:

[professorchaos]

LOSING IT /pos over kenny as a hope player considering hope is faith, authenticity, and sexuality & that in canon they were the product of a cult ritual. also savior status? considering it thoroughly

however maid, mage, or page of rage butters are masterworks ideawise. placing her is hard but she's almost definitely hope-rage dichotomy bound imo.

i cannot for the life of me place stan but I could see a doom player there. non sequitur but that boy is ripe to become tma desolation entity. knight of void meshes well with some fanon interp. heart could also be a good one? identity? puzzle of a man. wish m&t would put more effort into characterization but "sp is not for us" is unforch a given

kyle is a mage or heir of blood.

wendy actually gives me mind vibes ie choices and their outcomes, justice, pragmatism. lawyerly demeanor. but im no expert. i feel like shed be more of an active class

space bebe (the thought of her being vital to the game .)

whenever this line of thought stresses me out i think about kernelsprites. so much satisfying material there

thank you so so much for sending me this ask i have been thinking about it and thinking about it. i NEED to know your thoughts on kernelsprites bc they have me stumped!!! (that is, for a troll au at least... obviously for the kids as, well, kids, that's a whole other matter... oh my god. the funny little games to be played in that space lol) kyle as heir of blood is fun i feel like he would not enjoy that title especially prior to understanding and growing into it (well, duh - blood players). mage however feels even more fitting for him. he's so stressed out so often (for good reason) n i feel like that particular combination of class and aspect would definitely be in line with that stressed-out world-weary personality of his. honestly yeah i could see wendy as mind! and DEFINITELY bebe as space... or maybe life? at least fanon interpretations of her remind me of fanon interpretations of feferi (who incidentally is one of my ultimate fav hs characters so i feel instantly warmed to bebe in this au at the potential comparison). she also def has some of kanaya's fussiness and etc so space really does feel fitting. ehh... there's so much room for characterisation with the girls that it's kind of hard to pinpoint what they "would" be so maybe it's more fun to focus on what they "could" be. in which case, i kinda feel like bebe as a rogue of space could give her some interesting characterisation + struggles. HOWEVER i am biased towards rogues because nepeta and roxy are kinda my hashtag AHEM! furever girls so i kinda love the idea of ANY of the girls as rogues (bebe... heidi... nichole mostly) i saw someone place eric as heart and i'm curious about the idea but i really need to think on it more. he's even more of a puzzle than stan! (who, if you couldn't tell, is definitely the main 5 member i think the least about... sorry, stan). kenny and butters as hope & rage is so fun esp if they LARP as foils which they obv do. augshhsushghisjhjsk

[frenchmarshmalloww]

For those who were sad over my last post, here is a bit more angst but it gets better, promise :)

The timeline is kind of hazy, a sort of post S2 in terms of timing of the relationship but without the actual events of S2. OK it doesn't make any sense, just read lol.

The rules of tricking

I stand there, lost in thoughts, admiring the man laying on the couch in front of me. His body still makes my heart beat faster, a work of art if I ever saw one. Oh, how I wish I could be immune to it by now. Life certainly would be easier for me if I had been able to just get it out of my system. To just fuck him out my head, of my heart.

“Justin”

He startles me out of my musings, eyes on me from his position on the couch, hands in the hair of the trick blowing him. Not wanting to be left out any longer, I come closer, bend over the armrest of the couch and run my hands over his chest, play with his nipples. Brian sighs contently, music to my ears. I look at the other man straddling his thighs. He’s pretty hot, perfectly fitting the rules I secretly follow when choosing them. Hot enough that Brian would want to fuck them, not hot enough that I would not want him to fuck them. It’s a tight rope but I manage.

I remember clear as day, the night we came up with this new deal.

For the umpteenth time, we were coming home from Babylon fighting. I had caught Brian in the backroom fucking some twink, or was I the one being fucked? It doesn’t really matter I guess. Once in the loft, neither of us wanted to back down until, and boy was I stunned when it happened, Brian took the first step.

“Look Justin, this is getting really old. We have to find a way to just handle this better. How about some rules?”

“Rules? Like what?”

“Like, I don’t know… No tricking in front of each other for starters, no tricks in our bed, and we have to be home by 2AM every night.”

Seemed to me like he knew very well what he meant by rules. Apparently, he’d been thinking about it for a while. Still reeling from our fight though, I didn’t want to be amicable. So, like a five-year-old I stumped my theoretical foot and said “How about no tricking at all?”. It was worth a shot, right?

The look he gave me told me all I needed to know, so I switched gears rapidly. If he wanted a negotiation, then I had to come up with a proposition of my own.

“How about the total opposite?”

“What, like more tricking? Justin, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“No, I meant opposite to your proposition. Here’s my counter offer. We trick together, I pick them, we get them here and then we share them. No one on one, no repeat.”

I should have taken a picture of his face at that moment. The perfect mix of surprise, awe and lust. Yes, I had him.

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“OK.”

“OK.”

That was 4 months ago, and since then, we’ve shared guys about once a week. I guess I thought Brian would get tired of it at some point, that he would break the rules and I’d have to go back to watching him fucking anything that moves, but he seemed to enjoy it and we’ve never talked about it again.

Back in the moment, I glance at the pretty brunette blowing my … Brian. He’s very enthusiastic, too much if I say so and I need to reassert my control over the situation.

“Don’t you dare make him come” I snap.

Brian scoffs below me and says “Not a chance, babe”. Cocky bastard. I would have believed him too if it wasn’t for the way his voice broke on that last word, betraying how turned on he already was. Stupid trick.

I bend lower to catch his mouth with mine. The angle is all weird, being upside down, but somehow it makes the kiss better, filthier, sexier. I deepen it, pressing more of my weight onto him, until I feel his hand pushing urgently at my shoulder. I break the kiss and look at him questioningly. That’s the moment I realize he’s having trouble catching his breath. I must have been crushing his airways and he has to take big gulps of air now. I’m about to apologize when I notice how dark his eyes have gotten, how harder his dick is in the other’s mouth.

Smirking, I say to him “You liked it”. He plays dumb, of course. “What?”

“Don’t lie to me Brian” He never has, I don’t want him to start now.

“OK, yeah” then in a breath “Please”.

“Please, what?” I know I’m enjoying this way too much, but damn, it’s not often that I get that kind of dominance over Brian fucking Kinney.

“Please do it again” he reluctantly asks. Not ever having been able to deny him, I comply and for the next minutes, it feels like it’s just the two of us again.

Later, after we relocated ourselves on the bed, I find myself watching Brian prepping the other guy to get fucked. He’s got two fingers inside of him, and the pretty boy is already writhing under him. He’s still clear headed enough to stroke my cock so there’s still that. Once he’s ready, Brian pulls him up on his hands and knees, puts on a condom and enters him in one swift motion. The trick moans loudly and although I hate it, the sound makes me harder. Having Brian Kinney fuck you is a religious experience, it’s hard to focus on anything else. I’m this close to patting him on the cheek and say I understand how he feels. I let Brian get into a rhythm before I slide myself under them and shove the trick’s dick in my mouth. I’m not giving my best, it’s been a while since I did, but apparently Brian is putting in enough efforts for the both of us because the pretty boy is losing his mind, crying out loudly.

Few instants later, I feel Brian’s eyes on me. I know what he wants, same as always. He wants me to look at him when he comes. As if that would make what we’re doing more normal. I usually comply. Anything to pretend that it’s just the two of us. But tonight, I can’t. If he looks into my eyes, he’ll see. He’ll see all the things I’m not saying, all the things I don’t want him to know. That I cannot stand it anymore. That all I feel at this moment is disgust and sadness. So, I close my eyes to avoid his and I suck harder. I want this to be over already. I don’t have to wait long. A few deep thrusts in his ass and the trick is coming down my throat, taking Brian with him few seconds later. I swallow it all, out of habit at this point, and as soon as I feel his cock start to soften in my mouth I get up and leave. They are both catching their breath as I make my way to the bathroom. Glancing down I realize I am not even hard anymore.

I take a quick shower, trying to make it last long enough for the intruder to be gone when I get out of the bathroom. I perfected my timing so well over time that as I step out of the shower, I hear the door open and close. I dry up quickly, tying a towel around my waist and I get out of the bathroom. Halfway to the bed I walk around Brian, standing there only wearing his jeans, top button undone. I don’t stop, eager to put this all night behind me. He won’t let me though. He catches my wrist and pulls me into him.

“Hey, don’t.” The softness of his voice just about breaks me. I have to push through though, if I want to keep him, I need to play by the rules, he’s made that much clear.

“Don’t what?” I try. I know I am not fooling him, but I’ve been trapped in this role so long I don’t even know how to be anything else now.

He sighs deeply then lets me go and looks at me. I am not sure I know how to read his eyes. Is that pity? Suddenly panic is rising inside me. I went too far, I let him see and now he’s going to get rid of me. It happened before, when I started caring too much. It’s always the same with us. He tells me not to expect anything and I don’t for a while, and then I start to want more, and he pulls away, saying he won’t give me what I want, what I need. I leave, certain I will be better off without him, yet every time I come back, surer than ever that what he has to give is enough if it means I get to be with him. And again, and again. Except this time, he seems to be the one wanting me gone and the thought of not being able to come back to him makes my eyes burn.

“You’re unhappy.” He states. And I know where this is going, so I lie through my teeth. “No, I’m not. Look I’m sorry I wasn’t really into it tonight; this guy wasn’t really doing it for me I guess. I need better standards.” I try to joke, but it falls flat.

“Justin, we have to stop this.”

No, no, no, no, please don’t.

“Don’t worry Bri, next time will be extra hot, I swear. Might go for a blond next time. You’d like that right?” I try flirting. I never go for blonds. The only blond that gets to be fucked by Brian should be me.

“Justin, stop! There won’t be a next time.”

That’s when my heart breaks. I feel it in my chest, it’s being torn apart and shred to pieces. Then suddenly, as if something jumped started my system, I have to move, to run. I cannot be here anymore. I cannot look at him, still in the fucking afterglow of coming in this guy’s ass and see anything else than the pain of losing him, for good I suspect this time. I walk to the couch and start putting my clothes back on. When I’m dressed I grab a bag and go to the closet, I take whatever I come across, some might not even be mine, but all I think about is how I need to get out of here and fast.

A few minutes later, I’m making my way to the door when Brian stops me with a strong grip.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting out of here before you kick me out.”

He looks at me puzzled. Then something clicks in his mind and he smiles. The bastard is smiling at me when all I want is to be alone, so I can break down in peace.

“Justin, I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was we need to stop with the tricks.”

“OK… “ I am really confused at this point and it’s messing with my dramatic exit so I just stand there waiting for him to elaborate.

“Shit, I’m so bad at this. Let me try again.” He’s visibly struggling with whatever he’s trying to say, and despite the overall pain I feel deep inside my bones, it’s my turn to smile. I mean, how often do you get to see Brian Kinney struggling to express himself?

“Justin, I want new rules.” He finally says with a resolve that scares me a little. OK, fair enough.

“Yeah sure, do you want to go back to fucking them on your own?” Please anything as long as I can stay.

“No.” Fuck.

“OK then…” I keep trying to delay what I feel is inevitable. He cuts me off right there.

“Would you please just shut up and let me say this?!”

“Yeah, ok, sorry.” Go ahead, break my heart, I’m all ears.

He takes a deep breath, like he’s preparing himself for the worst and then looks at me and says:

“I want the new rule to be that we only fuck each other. No tricks, no backroom, no cruising, no nothing. You and me in our bed, or well anywhere really, from now on.”

I’m having a stroke. It has to be it, right? I can’t feel my legs, my heart is racing, there’s a white noise in my ears. I want to say something but my brain’s not working, my mouth either. I’m just gapping at him like a fish out of his water bowl. A minute has passed, maybe twenty for all I know, and I manage to find my voice again.

“Do you mean that?” I hate how small I sound, but I have to make sure. I can’t let myself hope.

“Yes, I do.”

“But you need it.” I feel stupid for fighting him on this, but that’s what he’s been saying for the last two years. Monogamy is shit. I don’t believe in love, I believe in fucking. Those are his words. What kind of game is he playing now?

“I need you more.”

I realize I’m crying now. 4 words. Not the 3 I desperately want to hear but this is certainly close enough. He needs me. More than he needs to fuck random guys in a backroom. More than he needs to be the king of Babylon, of Liberty Avenue.

I jump into his arms, sobbing in his neck, peppering him with kisses. I’m so happy I could sing, dance, whatever. He wraps his arms around me instantly, holding me tight. I feel his smile against my hair and it makes me cry harder.

“Hey come on, don’t cry. You know I don’t know what to do with crying people.”

I ignore his attempt at lightening the mood and kiss him deeply, letting myself feel it all. After a few minutes, we break apart, both breathless and hard.

Brian, pulls away slightly and looks at me like he can see into my soul.

“Justin, you know I …” He trails off.

His eyes are pleading with me not to push it, not to force the words out of him. I see the fear, but also his desire to make me believe, that in his own fucked-up way, Brian Kinney does love me.

“Yeah, I know. Me too.”

Relief floods his features, he must have been really torn up over this. I’m an asshole for enjoying it but I feel like I deserve it somehow.

“So now that it’s settled, could you stop being such a drama queen and put that stuff back?” He points at the bag on the floor.

This time, I let him joke the seriousness away and throw the bag in the vague direction of the closet.

“I’ll put it back later. First, I need you inside me, seems I’m the only one who did not get off tonight.”

I take his hand and lead him to our bed. From behind me, I hear him murmur, not sure I’m even supposed to.

“Whatever you need Sunshine, whatever you need”. And for once, I know he means it the way I want him to.

[spookyold-saintjm]

2 and 5 with Dark and a Clumsy Reader, cuz I’ve had my fair share of accidents and injuries while decorating

2: Do you need help hanging up the Christmas lights?

5: I made you some hot cocoa.

From this prompt list. 

Anon I feel you on that hardcore. Christmas decorating stresses me OUT, pals. I abbreviated one of the prompts to fit Dark’s voice a little better. Does that mean I lose? LOL.

Hope everyone is having a great holiday season!  

Darkiplier x reader

You cursed before you’d even taken enough steps back to see the tree in full.

You were spending your evening putting up a Christmas tree, but you had never done a whole setup by yourself before. You expected it to be fairly straightforward; after all, you’d been doing this almost your entire life with family or friends, so why should accomplishing it on your own be all that much different? 

You quickly found that you were mistaken.

First of all, you weren’t using a real tree, so lugging the box with the huge artificial tree from storage was already a chore. Next, fluffing it out was such a pain in the ass you were ready to quit before you were even halfway finished. It just never looked right.

Now, you were working on stringing the lights, but you simply could not get them aligned the right way. You had nearly fallen off the chair you had been standing on while trying to toss them around to the other side of the tree, more than once. Not to mention, you’d nearly knocked the whole damn thing over when you tripped over a stray strand of lights lying on the floor. 

You huffed in frustration as you stared at the somewhat lop-sided lights. This shouldn’t have been so difficult, dammit! You took a moment to attempt calm your nerves, steadying your breathing and trying to focus on how the egos would be so excited to see the tree sparkling in the lobby when they arrived back the next day.

You were just about to hop up on the chair again to adjust one of the upper rows of lights for maybe the millionth time when a deep voice behind you nearly made you jump out of your skin.

“Do you need help?” Dark’s voice almost echoed through the room. You flinched and spun around, somewhat relieved when you saw the source of the sound. Somewhat.

Dark was the one who still made you a bit uneasy. Brief explanations and context from the other egos had given you a faint hint as to the turmoil this man carried within, but nevertheless, he kind of, well…alright, he scared you a little bit.

He didn’t speak to you often, other than to ask the occasional question or make a request for you to bring him something during the day. Never hellos, goodbyes, or anything personal, just conversation to get you from one point to the next in the progression of the day’s work. 

“Dark!” you exclaimed, taking a small step back. “I didn’t realize anyone else was still here…” 

“I had some extra work to accomplish,” he stated. His head took a slight tilt as he peered at the scene behind you.  “And it looks like you did, as well.”

You nodded, a nervous smile appearing on your face. “Ahhh, well, I thought it would be something nice to look at for the next few weeks…” you felt your face get warm in embarrassment as you glanced back at the tree, “But it turns out I’m not so good at doing this on my own.”

Dark considered carefully before speaking, his eyes drifting from the tree to you, and slowly back again. “Very well. I’ll help you. You’ll be here all night, otherwise.” 

You blinked, unsure if you should be grateful for the help or insulted that Dark made it so obvious you were having a hard time accomplishing the task on your own. “Oh! Uh…well, alright. Thank you.”

The two of you quickly got started, Dark taking charge of physically stringing the lights as he was taller and had longer limbs than you, and could more easily able to navigate his way around and through the branches. You stood back and guided him on placement; you had a good eye for decorating and knew when things looked perfect, but it was the act of doing it that seemed to stump you in this scenario.

Dark stepped over to your side once the lights were placed, studying it for a moment before giving a single, silent nod of approval.

“Thanks again for your help,” you turned to him with a kind smile. “I really appreciate it, I’ll start the ornaments after—”

“You think I’m going to leave before the job is done?” Dark asked, his lips a thin line when he looked back at you. 

“I—“ You glanced over at the boxes of ornaments stacked off a few feet away from the now-sparkling tree. “I mean, you really don’t have to do anything else…”

“I said I would help, didn’t I?” he stopped you, already walking toward the boxes. He thoughtfully stared down at the box for a moment, then picked up a single, red orb. “So. How many of these are in this box?”

And that began the process of decorating. You knew Dark was someone of a meticulous nature, but he wholly proved himself in the hour you spent carefully constructing the placement of each ornament on the tree. Your creative minds worked surprisingly well together, and it was definitely nice to have someone with steadier hands and feet and…you know, was just less clumsy in general.

Dark was working on some final touches that you had both agreed to when you stepped out of the room, coming back a few minutes later with two steaming cups of a dark liquid.

“Here,” you offered one of the cups out to him when he glanced over his shoulder at you. “I made you some hot cocoa.”

Your brain sent off a sudden, internal alarm. What do you think you’re doing?! This wasn’t a man you could just offer hot chocolate to. He could so easily destroy you in ways you didn’t even want to consider.

You quickly retracted your arm back towards your body when you realized the absurdity of the offer. “If you like that kind of thing, it’s okay if not.”

Dark stood straight, facing you. He blinked once, his eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s…very kind. Thank you.” Dark slowly reached for the cup, almost seeming unsure, himself. You met his hand halfway, your fingers brushing just enough to send a strange wave of surprise through your body as he took the cup from you.

He stared down at the cup for a beat too long, enough to make you wonder what he was thinking about, before he gently lifted it up to his lips and took a short sip. You took a much longer sip from your own, your entire body suddenly feeling very stiff. Especially because now, the faintest upward curve of the corner of Dark’s mouth had caught your eye. 

You smiled back, and Dark’s face quickly fell flat again. You realized he must have not known he was smiling (sort of) in the first place, and you suddenly wanted nothing more than to flee the room at top speed. Dark spoke again before you had the chance.

“It’s been some time since I’ve just…spent time with someone else.” His eyes studied your face, trying to figure you out as if you were a puzzle and betraying the relaxed, casual demeanor he otherwise portrayed. “But, y/n, I must say I’ve enjoyed this evening.

“I—I’ve enjoyed it, too.” Your cheeks suddenly felt warmer as you were flattered at his efforts to be kind to you.

He almost seemed to hesitate before he replied, his eyes finally meeting your own with an earnest stare that could have sucked you in for hours. “In fact, if you’re okay with it…perhaps we could do it again, sometime.”

Your stomach dropped at his words, but there was no second-guessing, no doubt in your answer. You nodded, your smile spreading and your heartbeat rising when you answered him.

“I would like that, Dark.”

That half-smile of his returned yet again, and you stored the image in your mind. It was something you didn’t want to forget any time soon.

[babbushka]

Hi,Z ✨from the 40 questions for fic writers would you please answer if you’d like of course #4,7,8,15,&16 ☺️

Hello my dear anon! Thank you so much for asking :) 

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Oh my gosh in terms of chaptered fics, 9 or 10, I think! Lol. I have lots of plans for the new year, and I can’t wait to get cracking on some of them. There’s a lot of fun in just thinking about and daydreaming about the ideas though, so even if 1 or 2 of those actually turn into something, I’m still grateful for the time to mull over new AUs or ideas. 

Currently the one that’s on my mind is Beyond Reasonable Doubt, which will be a Lawyer!Kylo AU chaptered fic in which Kylo is wrongfully accused of murder and needs you to represent him. Classic slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, murder mystery court-room drama, lol. 

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

For this question I’m going to choose this scene from Each Eye, my Mob!Kylo Ren x Reader fic: 

You were hunting, hunting him down. On your way to rip him apart limb from limb, on your way to gouge out his eyes and yank his heart straight out of his throat.

Snoke.

The man who had ordered your beloved to kill his father, which he had done! Which he had done so well, so deservingly – it hadn’t been enough. Not enough for Snoke, not enough for him who lured him into a trap for his sister to strike him down. The wretched old man, the monster who had taken your Kylo away from you, who had warped and twisted him into a puppet who had to obey.

Well, he didn’t have to obey any longer, not anymore.

Kylo was passed out, blacked out in your bed. You had found him had saved him, had sewn the chasm of his face back together with ugly fucked up stitches because you didn’t know how to do any better, you didn’t know. You had never done anything like this before, had never even seen it done. Nothing but sheer force and willpower had pushed your fingers forward, nothing but blind determination and fear had given you any sense of calm.

Were you calm?

For context, this story is about how Kylo Ren deals with the apparent news of a traitor within his family of organized crime moguls. The entire fic is shadowed by a sense of underlying tension between literally every character (other than Kylo) and you, but for the majority of the story there isn’t a clear reason why. The paragraphs above are the beginning of that why. 

I’m proud of this whole setup because really it’s something that is set up through the entire story leading to this point. There’s a curiosity there -- why does everyone fear her? Why does everyone blindly respect her? Even Kylo submits to her, and he doesn’t submit to anyone. 

Well, in the scenes that follow, you find out exactly why. It also unveils another layer to her character that we don’t see in the present. In the present, she is perfectly put together. In the flashback, she is absolutely unhinged, and that is a sort of simmering dichotomy that everyone in the story -- and now at this point, the audience -- knows can flip at any moment. 

She is capable of sheer brutality, and you see that firsthand. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

You know what I’m also going to choose a scene from Each Eye for this question lol, which as a matter of fact follows shortly after the scene mentioned above: 

“Do you remember? Remember what I did to him?” You asked softly, removing the napkin from your lap, folding it and placing it on the table. You knew there was one last course coming, some sort of ice cream, but you didn’t care.

You wanted to go home, you needed to plan.

“Yes.” Rey said, voice barely above a whisper, because she did – she was there.

“Remember how I spared you?” You asked, snapping your finger and drawing her attention so that she could look at you, so that you could look at her, really look at her.

“Yes.” Rey answered, terrified.

You were no longer all smiles, all warmth. You were no longer sunshine and charm as you had been, as you tried to always be. No, no now you were angry, now you were impatient, now you were offended. Your eyes were cold and hard when you regarded her, when you bore your gaze into hers as you leaned in ever so slightly, leaned in just enough to make her lean in too.

“I’m starting to regret that.” You whispered, before pulling away.

The waiter arrived then with the ice creams, and you returned to your normally cheerful disposition, checking your phone and collecting your belongings.

“Shit, would you look at the time!” You laughed breezily, apologetically to the waiter. “I need to get going, Kylo will be expecting me back home soon. You know how he gets if he’s away from me for too long.” You said to Rey, who was stunned.

“Of course.” She said, mind racing, pulse jumping.

The waiter nodded, handed the ice creams off to someone else passing by so they wouldn’t melt, no use in wasting them on people who wouldn’t eat it.

You eyed the little piece of newspaper that was still on the table, and picked it up.

“Oh, would you mind holding onto this for me? He doesn’t like it when I fill in the puzzle without him, gets all sour.” You winked, folding it up and handing it to Rey.

“Did you finish it?” Her voice shook as she accepted the paper.

“No, there’s one left, I was hoping you could solve it.” You smiled warmly, standing up and putting on your coat, “It’s got me stumped I’m afraid. Forty-two across.”

There’s a lot of dialogue in the Tea Room scenes, because there’s a lot of unspoken truths being revealed. But I like this moment a lot, because it’s the moment that Rey realizes she is completely and totally fucked. It’s the moment where, without saying anything at all, you tell her that you know what she’s done, what she’s doing. 

It’s also an example of that switch I mentioned above being flipped, how thin the layer of her patience is. It was all in all, just such a fun scene to write, that whole tea moment. 

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

This is such a fun question!! For those who may not know, I’m actually a spec screenwriter, and I use many of my chaptered fics as the base/starting point for some screenplays. So do keep an eye out, because there’s actually quite a few in the process of being tweaked and adapted into scripts. 

But to pick just one for this question, the answer is definitely Two Doves, a Flip Zimmerman/Reader fic I wrote which gives us a glimpse of Flip’s time in Vietnam. 

There are so many movies about the war in Vietnam, but in the updated for-screen version of Two Doves, that movie is more about veterans grappling with death and grief, humanity, morality, and what it means to be human. It’s very much an anti-war film that talks about the treatment of veterans after the war and how that’s a parallel to the treatment of vets today, as well as a commentary on the imperial militant industrial complex that has such a grasp on our country. 

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Oh hands down Flip & His Darling Jewish Wife. I just have so much invested in that version of Flip, and there’s so so much that I could write about with them. Probably because that AU is also the personal AU put into prose lol, but idk. I’m just always very interested in seeing where they go, and how they handle the things life throws at them. 

[bapyess1r]

Sunny Daze

WARNINGS: cursing, substance, a bit of angst

Pairings: Sam Drake x OC

Author’s note: I started to write a thing.... I wanna see where it goes! Please tell me if you like it! I’m genuinely curious lol

Chapter 1

Sunny’s POV

I sighed, knocking on the hotel door as I adjusted the weekend bags over both my shoulders, hoping that Nathan fucking Drake hadn’t once again called for me just to do research. Or to break into or solve something… My best friend had a tendency to call and have me leave at the drop of a hat for something I could’ve done from my computer at home. Nate liked to call me “Brain” sometimes because I could solve most puzzles and mechanisms he got stumped on during jobs. Any time he had a robbery job, I was that voice in his ear telling him where to go and what to do. Lights out? I’d handle it. Bypass security? I got you. I even assisted on treasure hunts sometimes. I was good with hand to hand combat and weapons. And none of this was legal by any means but it was a job. Better than the one I currently have…

I shook the thoughts of doubt quickly as the door knob began to twist. I crossed my arms raising a thick bit shapely brow when he opened the door. “Sunny!” He exclaimed, embracing my teeny frame in his hefty arms. I returned the hug reluctantly, rolling my eyes and lazily patting him on the back.

“What do you want, Nate?” I asked tactlessly, my voice thick with a southern drawl.

“Oh, c’mon! You’re not still mad about-”

“Yes, I’m still mad about it, Nathan!” I exclaimed but he placed a few fingers over my mouth to shush me and hurried me inside the room.

“Shut up! People can hear you out there!” He said, closing the door behind me as I stared at him incredulously. Standing in the room was that sweet old man that I’d recognize anywhere. A smile crawled across my lips as I set down my bags by the couch and opened my arms to him.

“Sullivan, you son of bitch!” I laughed as we approached each other.

“Get over here, kid!” He said, ashing out his cigar and hugging me with a tight familial hug. “How are ya, Sunny?”

“Same ol’, same ol’. Jet’s got me workin’ the bar and waitressin’ now mostly. Way better than stage in my opinion. A couple of hecklers with wanderin’ hands now n’ then but…. nothin’ I can’t handle!” I smirked with a simple shrug. He huffed and shook his head.

“I do really wish you’d find somewhere else to work. It’s no place for a smart woman like you.” He told me, sitting back down at the table with a grunt.

“You n’ I both know why I can’t do that, Sully…” I said softly, looking into his blue eyes helplessly. He sighed, nodding.

“I know…” he said solemnly and I placed a consoling hand on his shoulder before noticing the man outside on their balcony, smoking a cigarette. Nathan approached me as he noticed my stare and leaned in.

“So… long story short…… that’s my brother…” he told me carefully and I gasped. I looked at him with my big brown eyes, covering my mouth.

“Get out- really?!” I exclaimed in a hushed tone. He nodded. I shook my head in disbelief. “You had a brother?! This whole time and you never told me? Me?!”

“If it makes you feel any better, Elena doesn’t know either…” he spoke with a look of guilt as he looked down and played with the cuticles on his fingers. I gasped again and punched him in the arm. Hard.

“You haven’t even told your wife?! Nathan-” I began but he waved me off.

“Yeah, Yeah, I know: I’m a piece of shit.”

I scoffed. “So...what’s this all about?” I asked just as his brother had turned around. My stomach lurched as his eyes met with mine for a brief second and Nathan pulled me over to his room to explain.

“Did you bring the stuff?”

“Yeah I brought the stuff- now stop bullshittin’ and tell me what’s goin’ on! You got me all the way out here in Italy for why?!” I snapped beginning to lose my patience. And I didn’t have much. He explained to me the story of his brief time in a Panamanian jail and how he thought his brother had died years ago. My eyes widened with every detail and eventually I leaned against the dresser with my arms crossed; just trying to digest all that he told me. “So…. Rafe Adler, killed a guard and Sam got stuck doin’ the time while you got away? How’d he get out if they had it in for him so bad…”

“He escaped with his cellmate, Hector Alcázar, who’s some big mafia figure. He had arranged a jailbreak and wants half of our findings as payment for Sam’s freedom.” He said worriedly. I stared at a dirty spot in the shoddy carpeting and nodded my head, fidgeting with my fingers. This was indeed a lot to take in.

“And you need my help for this?” I asked.

“I didn’t know who else to call...” He said knitting his brows together. Obviously, I was going to help him. He was my best friend and I’d do anything for him. Helping him save his brother was the least I could do for all that he’d done for me in my life.

“Well first… I need a drink…and a cigarette…” was all I could come up with in response. I slipped by my best friend and went back to the common area, pulling a stick from the packet in my jacket pocket with my teeth, my bestie trailing at my heels. Sully and Nathan’s brother sat at the table holding a casual conversation, huddled over the table with their drinks as I entered the room, lighting the cigarette and placing my hands on my hips. They both looked at me as I sat down at the table and poured myself a drink. I looked directly at Sam, his hazel eyes widened as I gave him the meanest mug possible. “If Nate gets hurt by this… in any way other than a bruise or a scratch, so help me God, I will kill you before Alcázar gets the chance. Do I make myself clear… Samuel?” I said, pointing my burning cigarette at him, my eyes never wavering as I leaned into the table. He blinked at me and nodded as Nathan sat down to join us, maps, papers, and books in his hands.

“And she means it, boy…” Sully added cautiously.

“Crystal.” He responded simply, a Boston accent dripping from his lips.

“Fantastic. Now… what’s the plan?” I asked as the younger Drake placed everything on the table before us.

“I guess we’ll bring you up to speed.” Nathan said with a small smile.

After about an hour, I was caught up to everything going on and we planned our strategy to steal the St. Dismas cross from the Rossi Estate auction happening in three days. Everyone began to peel off to catch some shut eye, except the eldest Drake. He walked off to take a smoke break and I was inclined to join him after I’d finished my drink. I took a long hard look at him as I sat alone at the table. He was tall. But I was super short so everybody seemed y’all to me. His shoulders were broad, his chest and arms strapped tight with muscles. His thick brown locks were pushed back off of his face. I’d almost call him attractive if I weren’t so pissed at him for dragging Nathan into this. He seemed okay talking around the table but something just didn’t sit right with me. Like he was hiding something. ‘Imma figure out what eventually….’ I thought as I stood to have another cigarette. I walked over to the concreted railing to stand uncomfortably close to this brother without a word. It didn’t take long for him to attempt to break the awkward silence. “So how long have you known my little brother? Y’know what's your story?” He asked.

“I went to MIT. Graduated, life got hard afterwards and I ended up moving back to Texas doin’ office work. Which sucked.” I began and he let an amused chuckle escape his mouth before taking a quick drag. I smirked as I continued. “To spice things up, I kinda sorta maybe hacked into the company’s funds and…. I’m sure you can imagine how that shit turned out. I had to leave town; got a whole new identity, met Elena at a gym randomly. Then I met Nathan through her. We’ve been friends ever since. He calls on me for a few jobs and some assistance once in a while.”

“And what is it that you’re doing here? No offense, sister, but I told Nathan I don’t trust anybody on his contact list with my life and I don’t know you from a can of paint.”

“And I don’t know you. But I’ve known your brother for the better part of 15 years so I don’t think you have any rights in questioning my abilities because I don’t have to help you.” I fired back, crossing my arms as smoke exhaled from my nostrils. He raised a thick brow and chuckled.

“You got spunk, lady. I like it.” He put out his cigarette and adjusted his pants. My nostrils flared up as I took deep controlled breaths. I never met a man sassier than me but I guess I couldn’t say that anymore. “We’re doin’ recon in the morning. I suggest you get some sleep.” He smirked heading to his room and closing the door, leaving me with the couch.

“Dick…” I mumbled to myself as I tossed my cigarette over the balcony and started towards the couch. I landed on it wondering if I was supposed to be here. I found myself wondering that a lot lately. After every job, I always felt a sense of slight fulfillment. It never lasted long though. I was never satisfied and always looking for a job to do. If it weren’t for Nate, I’m sure I’d be in a helluva lot more trouble than where I was. It was that thought alone that made me feel like I was okay. I was going to give 110% to help him save his brother. Then we’d be even. I let myself drift off as the whiskey began to take effect, falling into a drunken, dreamless slumber.

Read More on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472005

[bees-nest]

If any of you amateur sleuths want codes to solve, go to the puzzle raffles section of scrap.tf. GAWD I spent like all evening on these two puzzles and it was cool and rewarding but the second one was obvious and it was stumping me so hard lol

[lynxgriffin]

Straight Outta Monster Narnia

HEY HEY I WASN’T EXPECTING TO DO THIS EVER AGAIN BUT WE’RE BACK

I’M GONNA PLAY ME SOME DELTA RUNE HERE

THOUGHTS AS I GO! ARE UNDER THE CUT!

Here we GOOOOOOO~!

Survey Program! Nice! Ominous!

I am here yes!

Truly excellent dude

OH MAKING A VESSEL NOW what are we Xehanort

NEATO I can pick Chara or Frisk heads or others…

Let’s do someone new. This kinda longish hair head.

STRIPES FOR DAYS! Longish sleeves, methinks

The legs are almost all the same LMAO

This is so friggin creepy I l OVE IT

Favorite food is PAIN nah it’s soft

BLOOD TYPE D. D for DOGGO

You have been gifted with kindness, not-XionFrisk

Pain AND seizure. Kinda wonder what happens if you say no tho…

But I don’t want to start over so let’s go with yes

OH FRIGGIN BUUUUURNED BY THE GAME, HAHAHA

Hi Toriel, you’re looking nice!

That’s a lot of friggin trophies over there

Also Kris, you need some eyes

RELIGIOUS SKA

So we have overachieving perfect child and sad boring child, okay

Awww Gerson wrote a book! How neat

It’s only you…..FOR NOW!!!!

It just isn’t home without white fur stuck in the drain, is it

CHAIRIEL’S RETURN!!!!

Also there’s some weird graphical flicker going on when I move and I wonder if it’s not because I’m playing full screen here

“Spray For The Boys, Flamin’ Hot Pizza Flavor” Damn Toby I missed your incredible sense of humor

DOES TORIEL USE PET SHAMPOO please say yes

ASRIEL’S AT COLLEGE AND UNDYNE’S A POLICE MONSTER, PERFECT

PROFESSOR ALPHYS IMMA GET AN A+ IN ANIME CLASS

DAMN who do I pick as my partner

Like…I really want Temmie…but also Snowdrake…

Random snake is also very good…

Ahhh I see this is gonna be pre-determined

HAHAHAHA FUCKIN BURNED AGAIN BY THIS HORRIBLE BLUE DUCK

Thank you cool snake I love your origin story

Oh this reindeer girl is very cute

MOTHA. FOKKIN. SUSIE

I instantly love her, goodbye

Oh Alphys you’re so not good at putting anyone in trouble

I JUST REALIZED TEMMIE HAS HER EGG ON THE DESK

Susie are you eating chalk

Oh sheet I like Susie less now

GAH DAMN THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY

Susie, Kris doesn’t even HAVE a face

Haha totally cut off my answer there

Hmm. I sense…a theme here.

Wow this really is putting on the restrictive aspects here

Now that’s a spooky face

Oh it ain’t gonna be that simple, mean girls

Well, this sure seems like an underground! Also…Kris is green now, okay

Hi there creepy waving things!

To reiterate: this is soooo creepy AND I LOVE IT

Puzzles! We got puzzles again! CREEPY PUZZLES

Whelp, we found Susie, just kinda hiding out in a…dead dust bunny thingie

LOL so much for a party member following you around

Well this is a new and interesting take on the bullet hell mechanics

Such interesting and different architecture

THE KINGDOM OF DARKNESSSSS

Yes let’s take a sudden HARD SHIFT into Final Fantasy

THE QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS that was an MST3K ep you know

About like…Leonardo da Vinci actually. Except he was a whiny bitch

LMAO Susie just “nah destroying the world sounds neat”

JOKESTER SANS GLIDES IN A FLAMING TRICYCLE SURE WHY NOT

VERY DIFFERENT COMBAT SYSTEM

“Dunno how I got an ax but like, that’s cool”

CAN’T WAIT FOR THE REMIXES OF THIS BATTLE MUSIC OKAY

Dunno if there’s a pacifist version of this game but I stick to tradition so I’m gonna try it

RALSEI. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

THE POWER OF FLUFFY BOYS SHINES WITHIN YOU it sure as hell does, game

The heckin heck Ralsei is so cute

Yup yup we gonna try pacifist this first time!

“If you’re reading this…I guess you’re dead.” Fair enough.

Gaster noises when trying to use the cell phone, hmmmm…

It’s an inverse papou fruit!

Susie just up and attacks this cake, all right

Battle is cool but it’s gonna take some getting used to, think I accidentally used both of my items

YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION WON’T SAVE YOU NOW

“It’s like a dinner made out of three glasses of milk” Ralsei you’re SO CUTE

Now to see if TP stays leveled between battles…

“I thought you were running away.” / “Yeah, I finished.”

Fugdamn I want —pictures of Spiderman— remixes of this music ON MY DESK TODAY

FRIGHTENING FANFARE

Damn that puzzle still is tricky

Gah damn that was hilarious but also terrifying

We have the power of FLUFFY BOYS and MEAN GIRLS we are UNSTOPPABLE

Ohhh so that’s what the heart outline does!

Now that is a coooool cat and I like him already

Awww I don’t have enough money for the spooky sword

Susie just roastin’ everybody left and right

THEY GOT BARRY

These mechanics continue to be interesting and a bit more complex

“Damn, didn’t get to impale myself” I’m sure you’ll get your chance Susie

It’s really interesting how we’re basically group-battling to PREVENT the tank from beating the crap out of everyone

Oh now that light trick is weird

They keep throwing the usual chess and playing card guys at us and somehow I’m Suspicious

Is that a bucket. ARE Y’ALL HOMESTUCKING AT ME AGAIN

LMAO did Susie call us the Fuckboys or something

Oh, the Shit Squad, I guess!

THE POWER OF THE SHIT SQUAD SHINES WITHIN YOU HECK YESSSS

“I, Mr. Society, am far too intelligent to ever bow down to such a tyrant!” Hmmm.

Oh, it’s Sir Lion Plateface again

L E G S

THE BOSS JUST DRINKS A GALLON OF MILK THAT’S FINE

Well Ralsei got kinda junked there but WE DEFEATED SIR LION PLATEFACE

Cakes…are also my enemy…

Yeeeeah kinda saw that one coming

Susie I get the feeling you’re not going to enjoy being a bad guy either

Dang son I have no clue what’s going on anymore WE JUST HAD SOME SALSA IN A TREE STUMP

This jack’s got my number

That sure is a three-eyed three-headed cat thingamajig

Awww I like Clover

“All proceeds go to kicking your ass” CAN I USE THIS LINE IN REAL LIFE PLEASE

Hot damn we just squeaky hammered our broken cake into ULTIMATE CAKE

Why does a sweet little boy have a mustache indeed.

Create a machine to thrash your own ass, nice

It’s my beautiful death laser duck! Tops in GUN’S

Man Susie and Lancer are just having the time of their lives here

Finally, respect for pinecone-eaters!

Awww Susie, are you actually starting to worry about someone who respects your eating of chalk and pinecones

Oh thank goodness, got through that maze thing

Yes, finally, it’s our DUCK TANK LASER

Why does it say Tuna on it

“Your design sucked so we blew it up” This is like that one Berlin tour guide I had

GANGED UP ON THEM WITH KINDNESS, HA

Whelp, back to telling enemies that Susie will kick them in the shins I guess!

YES LANCER JOIN THE SHIT SQUAD

OMFG THAT FAAAAACE WHAT IS THAT FACE

Hey we’ve got a full Final Fantasy team now! Neat

STOOL FORME

I like how Lancer just sliiiiiides around outside the party instead of walking with

Hmmm well that friendship feeling didn’t last long

You done got locked in the dungeon

Yup sure did eat that jail moss two minutes in

HUH, we’re controlling Susie now

In which choices do not matter…

SUSIE’S FOKKIN PISSED

And we can’t control her actions…but why controlling the human soul?

A pair of eyes got arrested?! What IS the world coming to?!!

Oh dear, we found a bunch of kings in baby jail

Why are these filthy cages so happy-looking

Awwww Susie joined the party for realizes!

So, this about final boss point for this business?

Why are you guys just sitting on a pile of loot

And just who is this sassy lost child?

BAAHAHAHAAA

HECK YEAH WE GET TO FLIRT AGAIN

I am now BED INSPECTOR yes

Hello again fancy blue boy

“Can…can we see it” / “No.”

This sure is a jammin party with CLUB MUSIC OH HO HO HO

Awww he put his bicycle to bed

‘Welcome to my shop, you ungrateful worms” HELL YEAH

I do not wisheth to hear your MP3s! I would rather listen to the sweet song of Death!

Prepare for a battle with…WHATEVER THIS IS!!!!

JUST FUGGIN CHUCK RALSEI AT SIR LION PLATEFACE, I LIKE IT

Six dollars, for all of that?! Geez

WHELP this looks like final boss time…

Hiiiii there Lancer

Oh dang is gettin serious now

Oh woooow that’s…someone’s fetish right there

HOKAY that was tricky but! Having the defense abilities certainly helped with pacifism through that…

Despite ending this peacefully, I don’t think this scene is gonna end on a happy note…

W H E L P

DAYUM that face from Susie!!

Awwww poor Ralsei

We only have BAD-byes WUAH WUAH WUAAAH

DAWWW lil’ Asriel-lookin dude with glasses (and YES I see that anagram there)

LMAO Susie’s face

EPIC ROCK MUSIIIIIC

Also I’ve really been enjoying the color effects

Awww look at this epic adventure you two had in the closet

So basically we went to Monster Narnia, neat

Awww Susie likes Monster Narnia

Oh no we worried Toriel! THE WORST

LIBRARBY

YOU STUDY THOSE HOT DEMON COMICS FOR COLLEGE, TEMMIE

Hiiii Toby you busy makin’ something!

ALPHYS NO, YOU BETRAY MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE

OFFICE UNDYNE, DOn’T ARREST ME

I like reindeer girl’s rowdy hospitalized dad

PARTY ANIMAL TORIEL CONFIRMED

I like how there’s just a poster on the wall in this room that reads PAIN

The police tape simply reads NGGAAAAAHHHHH!

Good grief there’s SO MUCH STUFF TO EXPLORE HERE BUT I HAVE TO KEEP GOING

Snowdrakes don’t have arms, oh no!!!

“Does it hurt to be made of blood??” ….Yes. Yes it does.

HIIIIIIIII SANS

Woah woah woah WOAH WOAH SANS

Everyone is here! Even Ice Wolf!

Yes I’ll take a Double Ice Pizza you weirdos

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD IT’S BURGERPANTS

10 OUT OF 10 GAME NOW

HIS FACES!!!! “C H I C K S”

That was brilliant, Burgerpants, thank you for existing

Catty!!! Hey where’s Bratty!

Noooo you gotta be besties with Bratty!

Brother Doug…?

Oh no, Mettaton, come out and talk to us!

ASGORE, HELLO

OMG Asgore hugs

Soul flowers….???

Awwww got some flowers for Toriel

THE GAY GUARDS IN THEIR GAY FLANNEL, YAY

It’s so late but I can’t stop until I’ve talked to LITERALLY EVERYONE

Thaaaat’s politics! …Rarely.

Comes to church for the fruit juice, sounds about right

DOG GRAVE, NO

Let’s go into the woods…what could go wrong…

Why can’t I get into the creepy shed…

Well, I think I got everything, so let’s go home now…

ASRIEL MAINS YOSHI IN SMASH CONFIRMED

Awwww Toriel is not big on Asgore’s bouquet!

OKAY decided to go to sleep here.

…Well that didn’t work out great

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT??????????

WHAT????????????

WHAT?????????

HAHA I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE FUK HAPPENED IN ALL OF THIS BUT UH. WHEN’S CHAPTER TWO??

THAT SURE WAS A HELL OF A THING

No really Toby please WHAAAAAAATTT

OKAY I HOPE I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT BYYYYEEEE