#these ones just sap energy
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No wait!! What was Gepard's second letter?!?!
One was business but the contents of the second weren't mentioned, is this a secret jus for them? T-T
Absolutely adore your writing btw. My heart broke with the first part and I am on cloud 9 with how the second part ended!!! <3
((The context: Lucid Dreamer ficlet part 1 and part 2))
His second letter was personal, give the man some privacy, Anon!!
If you want an actual answer though haha, I've decided it's best left to the imagination. Like I think it would be actively detrimental to the story if I wrote it out word for word. Sometimes part of writing is knowing what to flesh out and what to not.
I don't think it would be a confession, though.
I think Sampo has a hilariously hard time laying himself bare, even though he LOVES getting attention from Gepard. For being a personal letter, it probably doesn't get TOO personal, and the only reason Sampo would leave such a thing behind for him at all is on the off chance he'll never see him again. I think it would take a pretty extreme circumstance, like death, to make Sampo be honest. But then, what does honesty matter at that point? Is it worth it, will it only make it worse? Does it change anything? Sampo will still be dead and gone. Gepard will still be left behind. Does Sampo want Gepard to know anything? I'm not sure he would.
(That said, it does make for a good scene, doesn't it? Gepard pokes through the safehouse, and he finds the beat up metal box, full of letters. He sees one with his name. And he slowly sinks onto the bed, carefully pulls it open.
The letter is still never shown. But it's not the words that are important.
It's the way that Gepard holds it tight between his fingers, realizes that he's creasing the paper, then urgently smooths it out again. It's the way that every successive sentence makes his breath stutter. It's the way he gets to the end of the page and is suddenly so, so exhausted that he sits curled over the letter, heart too heavy to hold until it's unbearable weight bowed his back.
And finally, Gepard drags himself up. Sighs all the air out of his lungs. He grabs the box, and he makes his solitary march back to Belobog.)
((When he returns, he reports straight to Bronya, and shows her what he found. Bronya notices that there's only one letter in there with Gepard's name, one with nothing but detailed instructions, and she elects not to say anything. She doesn't want to rub salt in the wound, especially not one so fresh.
She completely misses that Gepard has kept the second letter separate, tucked away in his armored coat, in the inside pocket against his chest.))
#gepo#sampard#hsr sampo#hsr gepard#gepard landau#sampo koski#bronya rand#hsr#honkai star rail#my fics#lucid dreamer#ask#anon#I don't think that Gepard would show a big visible despairing reaction- he doesn't panic or sob or anything like that#It's not that he doesn't care and it's not that he's withholding his reactions#It's just that I think Gepard feels grief the way one feels chronic pain#you get used to it. you learn to live with it. you have to. it kills you otherwise.#and grieving in a physical way like that- it is EXHAUSTING. it saps your strength. it burns you down to nothing but wax and wick.#so in the same way that a patient with chronic pain does not always present pain in a typical fashion...#so too does Gepard not always show his grief#he doesn't have the energy for that anymore. he's done it all before. he's already been through it. he will go through it again.#he's just. tired.
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it's been a sec since i've done a translation! but i think this comic is really sweet so translation under the cut!! the title on the comic is "kiribaku and tododeku who aren't public about their relationship (having mild heart attacks)", and the caption on the tweet is "i wanna read 10000 stories about people finding out about kiribaku and tododeku's relationships"
Hero Radio OFFTiME! On our program, you can hear top heroes spill a little bit about their private lives. Today's hosts are Deku and Red Riot! What kinds of things will they talk about? Let's see!
Midoriya: Man, you must be tired! You came here straight after a night shift, right? Are you feeling alright?
Kirishima: All good! Besides, you've been working ten days in a row, right? Good on you!
(word bubbles - Very, Very Tired)
M: Alright then, our first letter of the night...this one comes to us from BlueMackerel-san, who asks, "How did you spend your last day off?"
K: Uhh...oh yeah! Hiked 'n camped! And ate a ton of campfire food!
M: Oh, with Kacchan?
K: Yep!
M: He sure does like hiking.
Flashback Kirishima: WHOOPIE!!
Flashback Bakugou: Just eat it
M: What'd you two eat?
K: The works! Spare ribs, and homemade sausage, and meat, and more meat! Bakugou always packs a ton of meat to barbecue, it's crazy good! What about you?
M: Mmm...I slept in until around noon...and I think that day, Todoroki's family invited me over for dinner. His sister is a great cook!
Flashback Fuyumi: Welcome, welcome!
K: Coooool. So we both ended up just spending the day with our boyfriends, huh-
M: UH- um-
K: Huh? OH-! Cut! Cut!! Can you guys pretend you didn't hear that last...
M: Ohhhh my goddddddd
Narration: Our next letter comes to us from DieYouScum-san, who writes, "I'm killing you when you get home"
#kiribaku#tododeku#translation#bnha#this is a short one that's mostly kirishima and deku talkin but i think it's very cute#i'm also still completely in shock that tumblr now lets you go back and fix typos in tags#good on ya tumblr stuff#this is just a super quick translation before bed and i played it kinda fast and loose w the expressions!! but i did my best to get the#meaning across!!#to talk abt mostly unrelated stuff yesterday on my way home from a long weekend i dropped by tokyo and to a huge anime resale store#they had soooo much bnha stuff but pointedly they had a whole separate building across the street for doujinshi#my local anime resale store lately has gotten so few bnha doujin that they stopped sorting them by ship so it's basically not worth looking#but this one had a ton of krbk all laid out and i was this close to not even going into the store but i came out w a little stack!#crazy to see so much krbk in person that i even had my /pick/ of safe fluffy stuff#anyway one of the ones i bought is abt them living together and the cover illustration is kirishima elbowing bkg in his sleep#i was gonna not just read more krbk before bed tonight but it looks so sweet and up my alley#ik i don't post much on here anymore and it's mostly bc adult life saps the paragraph-typing/thread-typing energy out of me#but those guys still have an apartment in my brain#hope you guys are doing well!!
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Today's Daily Degurechaff is… enjoying some delicious k-brot
#Src: Fan Art#Mod's Art#dailydegurechaff#youjo senki#the saga of tanya the evil#tanya von degurechaff#based on that one meme of lisa simpson. you know the one#it’s a little later than usual today sorry. im blaming covid for that.#despite everyone talking abt how it just saps ur energy i still didn't really anticipate it ;;
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*looks at nanowrimo*
*looks at myself*
*sighs*
#melody rambles#on the one hand god I'd love to#but knowing A: my commitment issues B: my upcoming work schedule (will sap me of all energy)#and C: I don't want to burn myself out#On the bright side#I did write a good deal for october!#and I have some smaller projects I've been working on!#so I am writing#idk man#maybe next year or something#50k is just a lot man jdfkdkjfsl
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Not another one.
#hes only cute bc hes basically just j'onn but worse#he got that wicked martian autism i love itttt its my weakness. but young justice saps my energy whenever i try watching it#i wont go into it much bc everyone will hate me for just how much of a hater i really am#you can tell who th first one is from this picture too. haven't stopped thinking about psimon yet#hes Mine ok. my [every cutesy nickname under the sun]#self insert#selfshipping#📡 incoming transmission 📡#f/o#self ship#mlm self insert#mlm selfship
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i thought i wouldn't like the mink car version of first kiss bc the severe tire damage version whips so much ass but i am not immune to sappy love songs ahouuuu bwuh huu huuuuu
#ignore me#it also does cut to the core of what i love about the song... a relationship so settled and comfortable#and yet every kiss feels like the first one again full of energy and potential and wanting more more more#AND I'M A SAP!! OK!! A SUCKER A MARK A ROMANTIC FOOL#i want another first kiss...... how bout another first kisss..... ablooo hoo hoo#they might be giants#in other news i just listened to mink car all the way through today. not my favorite but by no means bad#mr xcitement grew on me a LOT when i started thinking of it as more of a soul coughing song#god i love soul coughing too. shit. i should get back into them#get onto the BUS. thatll take you straight to BEELZEBUB#IF YOU EVEN CARE!!!!#ok old man's up past his bedtime nghty night
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Lol I've been literally too tired to function today. I spent the entire day just trying to "wake up", but I'm still just as tired right now as I was when I woke up this morning (and is why I haven't been super active or capable enough to interact, despite how hard I've been trying). How does anyone function this time of year?! (at least on my side of the globe). I even had a nap today and it didn't help (in fact, it made me more tired). I've had no ability to concentrate and no energy whatsoever 😔
#i'm literally SO sapped of energy and sleepy it's insane#like ALL DAY sjflsjsf#why must my body suck so bad when there isn't enough sunlight???#I REALLY hope I'm a bit more alive tomorrow bc I don't wanna waste my days off unable to do the things I like before I'm back at work again#- cuz that is SO incredibly demoralizing and just makes the depression an even worse negative feedback loop#please I hope I'm more awake tomorrow; I am on my hands and knees begging to the universe#but I've inevitably lost the battle today and am gonna give up just go to bed; ugh :/#like imagine you had to wake up at an ungodly hour while only getting a few hours/no sleep; that's how I've felt all day#worst part is is that when I get like this I get even more sensitive to things like sound and light and I have to be careful to not trigger#- migraines (almost got one today but narrowly avoided it)
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Mmm yeah might as well post my Sonic oc too. She’s usually in her treehouse playing video games and lounging around, she’s got such a chill aura about her that she could walk into a club and instantly mellow everyone out. She also has long, retractable claws, sorta like Wolverine but they’re in her fingers actually
I know she’s sorta simple looking but honestly I kinda like simple character designs, like she doesn’t gotta have anything too crazy going on
#sonic oc#I really like sloths#did you know that apparently they’re so stinky and unappealing that predators just do not wanna eat them#like they’re only able to survive because they’re so pathetic#one day I might give her a full character sheet but I am just sapped of all my energy tbh#my art
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wow okay today was one of the most emotionally draining days i’ve gone through in recent history. and that’s saying something
#this show is making everyone angry constantly and sapping their energy and sympathy#i learned! that i experience trauma flashbacks! during a fucking run of the show!#had a flashback and silent panic attack and spent hours coming down from it#got to unwind with friends which was much needed#but then one of my friends exposed my crush in front of people who did not know. which uh. is not something i can just brush off#and thats minor and will be fine but god this week has been fucking shit and it’s one more thing#also missed class bc of tech and i feel guilty about that even though i have no reason to#i have so much fucking shit due across the next week and no physical time to work on it bc of performances#i’m gonna have a breakdown and cry i think#and i want to call my parents but i’m also. a little scared bc of this flashback i don’t want to accidentally make it worse when looking for#- comfort. especially bc i can’t fucking tell them#this semester has FUCKING SUCKED. i want to scream and cry#ted talks
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ugh I was going to sit down and write tonight but now my organs are big fucking mad, which is, of course, consuming my active brain power
things I can do while my brain is preoccupied: watch TV, listen to music, play lightweight video games that don’t require much Brain
things I cannot do while my brain is preoccupied: difficult video games, creative writing, problem solving, etc
#jay speaks#if you are one of the lucky few who has never dealt with any significant pain:#let me be very clear. pain consumes a LOT of brain#I am extremely lucky that I do not experience chronic pain#but I can absolutely understand how it can sap a person of energy#i mean hell just look at the time I went to urgent care#I'd had a similar episode a couple years before that#that first time? I spent the night curled up on the bathroom floor#good times. still kinda wish it was appendicitis so I could be like yeah#it's gone it won't happen again#but no. we don't fucking know what it was but it happened twice#and i'm just waiting for it to happen again#but tbh if it does I'm hauling my ass over to my workplace and being like#give me narcs or I will take them out of the pyxis myself
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[We are aware of the current deficiencies with the current denizen file system and are currently busy working to improve them, with our file manager Eskobar overseeing the changes of course.]
[Update continues below.]
--
[One of these improvements is a letter ranking system to help better identify the potential risks your fellow denizens may pose to you or the lack thereof- remember, always be careful of who you trust.]
[This new letter ranking system is as follows]:
D-rank - D rated Denizens are effectively just your average joe schmoe, they don't usually have powers, and if they do they usually aren't offensive, or are simply so impractical theres very little ways if any to be harmful. A good example of a D-rank denizen would be ID #2200
C-rank - C rated Denizens are much similar to D-rank however the biggest difference is they do have substantial abilities that could be harmful in the wrong hands, but thankfully C-rank denizens are typically the example of powers "in the right hands" so-to-say. A good example of a C-rank denizen would be ID #0004
B-rank - B rated Denizens are basically the "middle of the road" tier. They aren't exactly harmless, but they're not exactly dangerous either, it's difficult to explain, essentially another you know it when you see it type of situation. A good example of a B-rank denizen would be ID #0325
A-rank - A rated Denizens are those whose scale is tilted a bit more into the dangerous direction, whether this violence is intentional or not they are known to be unstable and have outbursts that may result in serious injury or even death, it's not recommended to bother them if you can help it. A good example of an A-rank denizen would be ID #0115
S-rank - S rated denizens are few and far between, but are a force to be reckoned with nonetheless. They're violent, destructive, and disregard any attempts to stop such behavior, either finding it fun or necessary or for other reasons. The ways to handle them are different for each individual, remain wary and on your toes. A good example of an S-rank Denizen would be ID #1000
U-rank - "U rank" is a very seldom given title, often reserved solely for those with deific powers, or those who have fragmented (fragmentation is further indicated by a ☥ symbol by the name.) It is highly ill advised to seek out anybody with this label unless you absolutely know what you're doing, or are operating under my orders. A good example of a (non-fragmented) U-rank denizen would be ID #4444
[The rest of these improvements are more minor things, including but not limited to]:
- Changed "Distinct Marks" into "Distinct Traits" to reflect its current usage
- Slightly more detailed descriptions for Hair and Fur besides just the color
- New description section for a denizen's Skin where applicable
- Mr. CocoCoolatta is working on new art for some of the more "scuffed" files that "look like shit"- its words not mine
- For Phonians only, adding the "Song" category to properly document the tune of applicable denizen's phonoglands
- Touching up some files with more lackluster descriptions where necessary
- Removing unsavory edits made by... "third parties" that will only remain visible to higher ups in The Archive
- Urging Professor Radiant to change his password so these edits stay private
[And one final note, my apologies for the radio silence lately and lack of updates to our database, things have been busy in our facilities lately and it's gotten in the way of proper procedures around here. But not to worry, I assure you this is only temporary, we will be back on our feet soon enough, so long as I have anything to say about it.]
Sincerely, Doctor Rito Kusatta
#🌻 - in-character post#[other tags buffer]#the liminevator#update post#ooc: (HEY HII ITS ME. coming in with the cleverly disguised hiatus aknowlegement)#(this project is not on hiatus at all though i should clarify- ive just been working mostly behind the scenes lately for a few reasons)#(reason one and biggest of all is simply burnout. ive had a really easy time making concept art. but finishing stuff is the hard part)#(reason two is a lot has been going on in my personal life thats been sapping me of energy REALLY badly because its been a lot to process)#(I wont go into detail but... lets just say it'll come through on this blog in its own way. you'll see eventually.)#(your only hint is that its gonna be gross. like probably the mouth\washing ultrasound section kind of gross.)#(anyways. reason three is just that ive been busy with some other artistic obligations as well in the background. not much to say there)#(ANYWAYS thats enough of me yapping my head off. this project isnt going anywhere. im just tired lol)#(the world is stupid and scary right now and i hope everyones staying safe out there. things are gonna be okay... eventually)
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google search how to get over myself
#taz talks#i am in a Mood today and there really is no solution except passage of time#do you ever feel like nobody gives a shit about you and you know it’s both petty and false but The Brain Juices won’t stfu about it#the last 5-6 times i’ve shared art with my discord friends it’s been more or less ignored#like not even emoji reactions just… nobody acknowledges i did anything#and i am not drawing For them really#but it still bums me out#esp because i’ve had so little motivation and time to draw lately so the doodles are a bigger deal#i’m also a jealous asshole and that’s a whole thing#at the end of the day nobody but me will ever actually read my dnd oc fics#and i have to be okay with that#they don’t owe me the time or energy#it just makes me a little sad#or a lot sad#i have so many stories to write but i’m just screaming to the unanswering void#and the unanswering void has a way of sapping one’s interest
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I had an appointment this morning, and I woke up extremely groggy. I was expected at town hall to renew my ID card. The process was quick. I had to wait only one minute, and the appointment itself took maybe five. They cut out one of the photos I had taken in their photo booth the week before, which got scanned. They scanned my finger prints as well, which is the first time they've done so and I'm not sure how I feel about it, and then I had to digitally write my signature.
I will receive a letter in the mail sometime soon, with my new PIN code, and then I can make a new appointment to go and pick it up. The last days of my current ID card, with a photo of me from 13 years ago, have begun.
When I got home, I was so tired still that I decided to crawl back into bed and slept for a while. Now I feel like the above all happened yesterday. My brain is very confused.
#this is terribly written but I have no energy to do better#writing#my writing#a story every day#2 July#2024#I told my parents yesterday that I would probably crash on Thursday#because I had two appointments yesterday#one today#and then another one tomorrow#and three days of having something to do just saps all my energy these days#but I guess having two things to do yesterday and then the one this morning already did enough sapping on its own#isn't this fun
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can barely feed myself bc I keep looking at the kitchen and dissociating
#idk whats wrong im just hating the act of cooking all the time ever#idk. maybe i cant actually get a job because then my energys just gonna be sapped by that and then the parents would hate me more#idk man. i hate being around the parentals so fucking much theyre just these two fucking gen x assholes that i live with#i want rice. i want a big meal but i have no more spam and no one else is going to make bacon and i have no other meat i like#i literally hate eating i hate food i hate taking care of myself. i hate myself so fucking much
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#vent#don't you just love it when one bad thought ruins every fucking thing and now it's hard to just#do the things you had enjoyed doing just a day ago#the bad thought half relates to what i'm doing but if i were to explain it to someone#i'd just sound fucking stupid#it's stupid. i shouldn't be so hung up on this. it's fucking stupid#and now it's ruined every fucking thing#it's just a silly game. i don't need to think too deeply on it#but now it's sapped my energy for everything else#and studying is surprisingly the only thing i can still do#because everything else just doesn't seem appealing anymore#i should go out tomorrow. i don't fucking know.
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#midterms week is so stressful and for what#also losing my phone Thursday evening and only getting it back this morning meant that my functionality over the weekend plummeted#other issue is that with my fatigue I cannot handle a 3 class day- especially one that doesn’t give me time to rest#by the time I get to my last class on Mondays and Wednesdays I am like half asleep and barely capable of coherent thought#and it is an entirely discussion based class that I have to write an essay for#i have a test for one of my other classes but honestly half of it is 6th grade chemistry and the other half is environmental issues I#learned last semester so I’m not too worried#but there’s no clear prompt for the essay!! and I’m behind on the readings and barely remember classes because I’m so fatigued by the time I#get to the classroom- this isn’t even something that becomes a problem halfway through that class#honestly it usually becomes a problem a bit before my second class ends just because of how that class functions#we do small group discussions every class and I can never hear what people are saying because it’s so loud and there’s like three people who#are just. so. loud. and I can’t hear someone else talking even if they’re literally right next to me#so that saps a ton of energy#I might ask my professor if going forward I can choose to opt in or out of that part due to how much fatigue it causes and how much I#struggle just to understand what someone is saying#I also need to send an email to the ODA because they dropped the ball in a couple different ways in regards to my accommodations and I need#them to fix that. also like. I know the head of the department. we have had multiple conversations since I am the chair of the student#disability group and she is the head of the disability department#I also know multiple people working in the ODA (students) and another person who I specifically can go to if an accommodation is denied#because she will get them to revisit my case (and likely approve the accommodation)#what I’m saying is that I have Connections. but they’re worthless if I don’t know if I’ve been approved or denied an accommodation!#I’ll send them an email. cc the person I met with both this year and last year (who somehow managed to remember me?) and see what happens#one of the issues is that they approved me for an accommodation to use this application and said they’d send me a link to access my account#and they just. never did! like they approved an accommodation and then failed to provide me with said accommodation#and the last thing that the ODA wants is the person in charge of the disability group on campus to decide that they’re not doing a good#enough job because I can cause a huge commotion#I have semi-regularly emailed with one of the assistant deans. I am actively communicating with one of the organizers in our#campus’s student labor advocacy coalition (which I was a part of last year) and they are super experienced in making a big impact about#an issue. I also learned from them last year and we support each other this year so again. Connections#they really don’t want me on their bad side. should I have to threaten my way into getting my accommodations? no but I will as a last resort
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