#these names bro. i love fortnite

[tv-sparkle]

[pboogerswbb]

TOO LOST IN YOU - part IV

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc

Warnings: smut and i mean FILTHY OK, toxic!paige, kinda cheating, language, etc.

Wordcount: 7.4k (sorry but there's smut ok)

A/N: TY for being so patient with me, i've been feeling sick but slowly getting better and finally got this done. finally some fluff for y'all. also please leave feedback/live reactions I LOVE THAT SHIT! ok enjoy guys mwah <3

-

“You’re joking, right Paige?” A frustrated voice comes through the speaker as I lean back on the couch, spreading my legs to find a more comfortable position. The game of fortnite me, Aubrey and Ice had been planning on for like a week was turned down, not wanting the phone’s mic picking up the sounds.

“‘M afraid not,” I mumble into the phone, biting my lower lip in concentration. I was so close to getting a kill if I could just finally hang up, but here I still was, fifteen minutes of going back and forth on some topic that didn’t need all this drama with a girl whose last name I’d forgotten.

“But it’s my birthday,” Clara whines into my ear. Watching my character get killed, I groan and tilt my head back, throwing the controller onto my grey sweats.

“I know, baby. Look we can do a lil something next week, lemme make it up to you,” I say into the phone, needing to get this girl to get off my ass. “I promise.” I didn’t mean that though, it was just empty words.

Truth was I just needed some time, after what happened the other night with Valerie I had felt my thoughts chipping away at me. The things running through my head had made sleeping impossible and practice even worse. The lack of control I felt when she was around me was terrifying. I needed a night just with my girls, badly.

I felt tense, distracted.

“Clara, whatchu want me to do? it's an emergency.”

To get away from Clara’s plans for the night Aubrey and Ice had helped me to come up with an elaborate lie about me “pulling a muscle in my wrist and it needed resting”. I hadn’t found it as believable but for Clara it worked.

The girl’s soft sigh comes through the phone. “Fine, ok. But you gotta make it up to me.”

“I will I will,” I mumble, unaware of what I’m really saying, stuffing my mouth with a fistful of popcorn from a bowl on the couch. Sitting cross legged on the floor, Ice lets out a loud laugh, quickly covering her mouth as I give her a scolding look, pointing to the phone. Thankfully Clara doesn’t hear a thing.

As the new game begins I quickly grab the controller from my grey sweats, I needed to wrap up this call quick.

“I wish you’d let me come take ca-”

“Gotta go Clara, happy birthday,” I yell hurriedly into the phone before Clara could even finish, hanging up the phone and throwing it onto the couch which makes Aubrey and Ice snicker.

-

“Bro you suck at this game!” I yell at Aubrey who looks at me offended.

“Nah, that wasn’t my fault!! It was Ice!!” she scoffs.

The ringing of my phone interrupts the conversation. Before I can pick it up, or even complain about Clara getting clingy, the sound stops. Not to sound too cocky or like a piece of shit but if it was one of the girls on my roster, that ringing wouldn’t have stopped for a minute. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the power I had over some of these chicks, how they stayed up till 4am just to see if I called them up. They didn’t need to let me know it’s what they did, I knew all too well.

I grab my phone and quickly unlock it. With wide eyes and heart fluttering, I dial back.

“Paige I thought we were gonna have a girls’ night,” Aubrey groans but my finger comes up to shush her when I hear a soft voice come through the phone.

“Hey?” 

“Valerie?” I ask, I can barely hear her from the loud traffic nearly burying the sound of her voice.

“Wh- why are you callin’ me?” she asks, her words are slurred enough to let me know she’s drunk. Even so, hearing her sweet voice might as well have been a choir of angels singing. 

“You called me, mama,” I chuckle softly, walking away from the girls to hear better.

There’s a moment of silence between us as I slide into my own dorm room, closing the door behind me, leaning against it. 

“Oh… uh I was trying to call Paige,” she murmurs and loudly gasps. I can hear her slapping her own mouth and a cocky smirk grows on my face. “JAY, JAY I WAS. I was trying to call Jay.”

The bite on my lower lip stuffles the laugh I let out. Honestly, it made me feel a little smug knowing she said my name instead of hers. I wonder if I was really on her mind that much. It had been quite a long time since I had wondered anything like that.

“Ohh right… Justine,” I joke, the name making me giggle each time. This time, Valerie giggles too. 

“Don’t make fun P.”

“Alright alright,” I chuckle walking over to my bed and sitting down on it, pulling down my sweats a little so my boxers peak out. Faint screaming in the background of the call reminds me of why Val called in the first place - she’s drunk. “Woah, where you at Val?”

A deep sigh comes through the phone. “I dunno where my friends went, they were my rideee,” she whines, the sound of the cars making it hard to hear her. I lean forward resting my elbow on the knees.

“Did you call ‘em?” I ask, concerned over how drunk she was. How could her friends just dip? I’m gonna need to have a word with them.

“I’m nodding,” she slurs out and groans frustratedly. “Such a long way to walk,” Valerie whines again.

I’m already reaching for my keys when the words come out of my mouth. “Drop your location Val.”

She groans. “I’m walking by the highway.”

“You’re WHAT?” I yell into the phone, throwing on a puffer vest over my grey sweatshirt, struggling to get my shoes on. This girl was gonna get herself killed I swear.

“Relaaxxx.”

“Sit down and drop your location, I’m comin to get you ma.”

“Paige you’re so dr-”

“Sit your ass down. I’m so forreal now Valerie.” I command, without even waving a careless bye to the girls as I rush out, the plans for a girl’s night quickly forgotten. After a whine and a sigh from the drunk girl on the line I hear her set herself onto the ground.

“Fine,” her voice murmurs and I sigh in relief.

All of the fury I felt at her for being so careless goes away when I see her, in boots and a leather jacket thrown carelessly over her skimpy dress, sitting on the ground playing with the ends of her golden brown hair. I pull the car over, quickly rushing to her. How could her friends leave her in a state like that? From now on I should watch over her all the time, just to make sure she doesn’t get in trouble.

Nevermind her friends, how could Jay let this happen? If Valerie was my girl she would not be alone like this, yet alone going out without me at all. She needs someone who takes care of her, who truly cherishes every single thing about her. 

“Paigeyyy,” she smiles as I reach down and pick her up, her hair was a mess and eyes bloodshot and tired. There’s a strong smell of alcohol as Valerie wraps her arms around me, but I don’t mind. I wanted to be mad at her for being so irresponsible, for making me come get her. But I couldn’t be.

I grin as I help steady her. Anyone could notice she’s gleaming looking up at me. Usually that would make my chest tighten, make me feel sick and claustrophobic. Now, for some reason, I felt like gleaming too.

“C’mon silly girl, before you get in more trouble,” I murmur, opening the door and making sure she gets in the car, helping her with the seatbelt.

“I got it Paige,” she laughs as I reach over her lap, grabbing the belt but I slap her hand away gently, biting the inside of my cheek to stifle the way I wanted to smile, the butterflies growing inside me.

“Lemme do it ma,” I tell her hoarsely. She’s grinning at me stupidly as I buckle her in, my fingers running along her neck to fix the belt. When our eyes meet just for a moment, it takes every bit of my self discipline not to kiss her, the way her tongue slides over her lips enticingly.

The drive back is quiet, soft R&B the only sound filling the car. I hum along to the songs, tapping the steering wheel to the beat. Valerie watches as she rests her head against the seat. An involuntary smirk takes over my face, my eyes flicking from her to the road to my speed. I was driving much more carefully than usual, I had something precious to take home.

“You admirin’ the view?” I tease earning a lighthearted scoff from Valerie.

“No I’m… thinking,” she explains slowly, moving her eyes to the road too. Suddenly she wasn’t so giggly, but seemed to be sobering up.

“I got some water in the back if you need,” I tell her, already reaching for it, other hand on the wheel as I lean back on the driver’s seat.

She reaches for it with me, our fingertips brushing against each other as I hand it over. “Thanks,” she murmurs and takes a few big gulps.

Valerie’s shoulders slump as she takes a deep sigh, I know her well enough that something was clearly on her mind. 

“I lied P,” she says, her voice small. For a moment a wave of confusion washes over me, and I look at her expectantly. My first assumption is she’s talking about what happened between us in the bathroom, about how she hadn’t told Jay about it.

“‘S okay Justine don’t have to know,” I quickly console but Valerie is shaking her head.

“No I meant… Fuck, I mean I did mean to call you,” she let’s out, frustrated. “It wasn’t an accident.”

I swallow, feeling a heat rise to my cheeks. Was I… blushing? I must be more whipped than I realised.

“Oh yeah?” I ask, my tone a little too needy for my liking - I didn’t want her to think, no, to know I cared. That it mattered to me. Valerie could never know how I felt. I would just end up fucking everything up, at least now I had basketball. That’s enough.

“I just… I dunno I don’t wanna go to my dorm,” Valerie sighs, fidgeting with her fingers on her lap.

“Why’s that?”

“Jay’s waiting for me,” Valerie says with a slight shake in her voice.

Oh. 

At first I’d been more jealous than I’d like to admit, the idea of Valerie, my Valerie, with someone else made me sick. But running into them at that party I knew Justine could never do what I could. But most importantly, Valerie didn’t shine the way she did with me with Justine. I had an inkling there was nothing to be jealous of, and got my confirmation in the bathroom. But now, I only felt more validated. She didn’t even want to be around her. She drunk called me, not her.

“‘S that why you got so fucked up? Because of Jay?” I try to sound nonchalant, like I didn’t care. But I needed to know for sure. I needed to know I wasn’t delusional in thinking she couldn’t just move on from me, from us.

“Something like that,” she chuckles and shifts in the seat, sipping her water still. Without thinking it through, what it might mean, what it says about my feelings, the words slip out.

“I can take you to mine,” I suggest, knowing full well my biggest rule was not letting girls sleep over. I guess my rules had gone way out the window with Valerie.

She scoffs and shakes her head, my heart aching at her disapproval. “No P, it can’t happen anymore, I mean it this time.”

A scoff leaves my mouth as I pull up to the campus parking lot.

“I didn’t mean that dumbass, I mean just to sleep,” I groan, parking my jeep. “I’ll even sleep on the floor.”

Valerie looks at me wide eyed and dumbfounded. Guess I wasn’t coming off as nonchalant as I’d have liked. I felt a strange feeling grow inside me that I could only call nervousness. It had been a while since a girl had made me feel anything even close to it.

“Okay,” Val nods and a wave of relief takes over me - I didn’t want her to go yet. Being with her felt good.

“Okay,” I repeat watching her start getting out of the car. I do the same and we head towards my dorm. Without thinking about it much, my hand wraps around her waist, whether to hold her up or to touch her I’m not sure.

Jana and Allie are in the kitchen talking, their heads peeking out when we come in the door. Meeting their gazes I realise I have never introduced a girl to my teammates.

“Yo, uh, this is Valerie,” I say a little awkwardly, the new situation making me unsure of how to act. Allie and Jana share a look that I pray the drunk brunette clinging to my arm didn’t notice. Looking down I see she’s too busy struggling getting her shoes off. Without thinking about it, I kneel down and my fingers unbuckle the strappy heeled sandals she was wearing, my touch on her skin tender and careful.

“Hey girl,��� Jana says intrigued, waving her hand at us. As Valerie nearly trips, she lets out a loud giggle, my hand gripping her thigh, steadying her.

“Whoa there,” I chuckle, standing up from the ground as the brunette slaps her face with her hand, bashfully.

“I’m sorry I make a much better first impression when I’m not drunk,” her sweet voice lets out and somewhere deep down I feel my heart flutter at the idea of her wanting to make a good impression on my friends. Jana and Allie both let out friendly laughs as I guide Valerie towards my room.

“She’s gonna sleep here tonight, that cool?” I ask as we pass my roomies, who are both nodding but clearly shocked at the prospect of me letting a girl sleep over.

I bring the brunette to my room by her hips, closing the door behind us as she throws herself face first onto my purple sheets. She looked good like that, in my room, on my bed, burying her nose into my blanket. For a fleeting moment I let myself dream of an alternate universe where she could be here waiting for me, all the time. Only for a moment though.

“C’mon ma let’s get you ready for bed,” I suggest softly, walking to the bed. She groans and flips onto her back, my eyes flickering to her upper thighs where her dress had hiked up. A sudden need to touch her comes over me, but I push it away. It wouldn’t be right like this.

“But your bed’s so comfyyy,” Valerie lets out a whine as she stretches, her pretty eyes fluttering shut. I can’t help the smile that forms on my face, my heart aching at how cute she looked like this - drunk and tired, mascara flaking underneath her eyes and a small pout on her lips.

Throwing her a navy blue Uconn shirt to sleep in is finally enough to get her to sit back up, her eyelids half closed as her hands start pulling her dress down.

With wide eyes I quickly turn my back to her, staring at the wall. As much as I wanted to, it didn't feel right to watch her change. Valerie only giggles, and I hear her stand up and shimmy out of her clothes, my mouth growing dry from the filthy thoughts in my head right now, the way she was completely bare behind me.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before P,” she says teasingly and I almost groan, my mind jumping through memories of the way she looked in just a pair of panties, the curve of her ass, the way her tits sat pretty on her body, that long golden brown hair trailing down her back. Fuck. I felt myself getting wet. I rub my jaw frustratedly, trying to shake my dirty thoughts.

“Just get dressed Val,” I murmur, my voice hoarse with need. Finally, she obliges, throwing on the t-shirt I gave her. It’s not enough to stop my filthy thoughts, seeing her in my shirt and a pair of white lacy panties, thick thighs all on display, nipples hard and visible through the shirt. No. This wasn’t the time.

Valerie is about to crash back into the bed right when I grab her waist to keep her upright.

“Wanna sleep,” she whines as I guide her towards the bathroom.

“I know ma, in a little bit I promise,” I nearly whisper. It was the first time in my life I had promised anything to a girl and meant it.

Closing the bathroom door, I sit Valerie on the counter, her feet dangling off the edge which makes me smile. Grabbing a brand new toothbrush I try to hand it to Valerie, but her head is almost nodding, eyes completely shut now. This girl would be the death of me.

I wet the toothbrush, and gently holding her face, I brush her teeth. My face is only inches from hers as I watch her start to smile, realising what I was doing. For a moment her eyes flicker open and meet mine, and I feel something I have never felt before. I can’t name it, or quite place it, but the warmth in my chest, the blush on my cheeks and the way my breath hitched made itself known.

“Thank you,” Valerie murmurs, her mouth full of foam. She spits it into the sink, rinsing her mouth as I hold her hair, so incredibly softly, as to not hurt or disturb her.

“Let’s get this makeup off mama,” I say mostly to myself, wiping it all off with some micellar water, trying to be as gentle as I could. Her brown eyes roam my face, making me feel flustered.

“What about my skincare routine?” Valerie asks with a furrow of her brows and I chuckle, shaking my head, going over her face with a cotton pad.

“You don’t want me doin’ that, trust,” I murmur as I’m finally done. Watching her, the way her long dark lashes fluttered, her plump lips and soft skin made a shiver run down my spine. She must’ve been the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, even more so like this.

I suddenly notice that my hands are rubbing on the skin of her bare thighs as she watches up at me. I can’t help myself when I lean down and press my lips against her forehead, the tenderness of it making my eyes close. Valerie hums and wraps her arms around my neck, her legs doing the same as I pick her up like that, holding her up by her thighs. Her skin was soft and warm underneath my fingertips, sending sparks all over me. 

I carry her to my bed as she clings to me, gently laying her down on my bed and tucking the blanket over her, brushing a strand of hair off her face.

“I’mma get you some water and go sleep on the couch ok?” I murmur, my fingers brushing against her cheek. Her hands urgently grab my wrist and pull me closer.

“Don’t go,” she whispers and my heart nearly breaks at the way her voice sounds, pleading. 

“You sure Val?” I ask carefully.

“Please.”

It doesn’t take more than that to have me throwing off my clothes, leaving me in black boxers and a Nike sports bra and climbing into bed next to her. I carefully lay my head down onto the pillow, studying her features. The curve of her nose, the way her eyebrows arched, the hint of red on her cheeks from the alcohol. Her eyes flicker open, meeting mine as we stare at each other in the dim room. I could feel the heat of her breath on my face, and she inches her head closer, our noses brushing against each other. I nearly whimper at how good it felt, being this close to her.

My blue eyes travel to her lips, the way they glistened as her tongue brushed over them, the way her lower lip was that much more plump than the upper one. In the haze of the night, it’s like I’m outside of my body, unable to control myself when I lean in and kiss her. Immediately Valerie hums, and I think I’m in heaven when her mouth opens to move against mine.

We had kissed plenty of times. But it was never without fucking afterwards. This was completely new, kissing just because. I didn’t know kissing with no end goal could feel this good. I breathe heavy and loud through my nose as our lips move against each other, Valerie’s hand pulling me closer from the back of my neck. My hand on her waist slides underneath the t-shirt and I press my body flush against hers. I feel all of her, the bare skin of her legs wrapping into mine, her breasts against me. But it’s enough for me. Just to have her like this. 

“P?” Valerie whispers, as I nuzzle my nose against her, breathless from the kiss.

“Yeah?” I murmur softly, the overwhelming warmth in my chest feeling dizzying.

“I-” she hesitates. “I know you don’t… like when girls spend the night-”

I stop her with a kiss, more for my own sake than hers. It might drive me insane if I have to think about it for longer than ten seconds. The way I was bending all my own rules, the feelings deep inside me. I felt terrified. I didn’t wanna think about it right now.

“You needed me Val,” I whisper against her lips, knowing it wouldn’t be a solution but that explanation would do. It’s not like I was in love, but I did care about her to an extent I guess. And I would never let her be in danger. Ever. I helped because I wanted her safe and because deep down I was a good person. But it has nothing to do with love.

I wrap my arms around the girl next to me, pulling her face into the crook of my neck, her leg swinging over my waist and nuzzling into me. I gently run my hand up and down her back until I feel her go limp in my arms and just for a second I let myself inhale the scent of her, my nose buried into her hair. Maybe, just maybe, if I wasn’t Paige Bueckers, if I wasn’t me, this might have had something to do with love.

-

As the morning sun shines in through the window I feel myself stir awake, immediately met with a pounding in my head as my eyes flutter open. I feel a tight grip around my waist, holding me tight. For a moment I get the uneasy feeling that it’s Jay, but then I hear the light snore of Paige in my ear. Warmth spreads all over my body when I feel her pull me closer in her sleep, her nose pressed against the back of my neck.

A soft smile spreads on my face as I remember last night, Paige picking me up, driving me back, taking care of me, letting me stay over. My stomach fills with butterflies knowing this isn’t what Paige did for any girl. The only thing that mattered to her was ball and that’s it. Girls were just a distraction, something fun to do. But she didn’t care, right? Then why did it feel like she did, when she took care of me last night?

An incredible thirst from my hungover takes over, and I carefully peel Paige’s hand from my waist. Thinking I was sneaky enough to make my escape, I start to climb out of the bed when the strong arm quickly pulls me back down, pressing my back into her front once more.

“Where you going?” Paige’s voice is deep and hoarse from sleep, words muffled against my neck as she holds me down, nuzzling her face into my skin.

“Need some water,” I murmur trying to flatten my hair and push the hand away but Paige doesn’t fold. All she does is shake her head. 

“No,” she murmurs and holds me even tighter. It’s almost overwhelming, the way I was getting affection from her. For a moment I try and figure out why she would act like this, but then she kisses my shoulder through the navy shirt and I forget all about it.

“Paigeee,” I giggle but she only keeps shaking her head, her hands tightening around me.

“A lil longer,” she hums, her voice tickling against my ear.

“But I’m thirsty.”

“Fine.”

With a groan, Paige gives my cheek a kiss and climbs out of bed, putting on her basketball shorts and going out to fetch the water. I scooch up on the bed, quickly fixing my hair and trying to make myself look presentable when Paige walks in, carrying two bottles.

“There you go princess,” she grins. Her hair is matted and blue eyes tired as she gets back into bed next to me but I’m quite sure she’s never looked better. However, a sliver of fear in the back of my mind is nibbling away at me. I didn’t understand why she was acting this way, usually Paige’s motives were clear to me. Not this time.

Before I can spiral Paige leans towards me and presses a gentle kiss on my lips, her hand holding my cheek as she does. I kiss her back softly, my stomach twisting. Could she really be this good to me?

Paige pulls back and smiles. “Good morning Val,” she hums with another peck to my lips. I let myself smile back, deciding to worry about this later.

“Morning P,” I whisper and pull back to sip on my water, it soothing the pounding in my head. 

“Hungover?” the blonde chuckles but I shake my head, though maybe I did feel the shakes a little bit. 

Paige bites her lower lip not believing a word I said with a knowing smirk. She grabs her glasses, putting them on herself to see me better in the morning light. I can’t lie, she looks fucking amazing in her glasses and it makes it hard to ignore the ache between my legs when she looks like that - silver chain with a cross on her neck, sports bra, shorts and those fucking glasses.

I snuggle back underneath the blanket, pulling it all the way over my head, like that could somehow hide my filthy thoughts.

“Yo, where you going,” Paige laughs hoarsely, pulling the blanket away. I quickly bury my face in the pillow to hide.

“I don’t look good in the mornings,” I murmur, a blush rising to my cheeks from the way she was staring, let alone the dirty thoughts in my head.

Paige snorts and brushes my hair away from my face. “Oh so you care that much what I think huh?” her voice is smug and it makes me slap her arm, making her hiss.

She slides underneath the blanket too, her head resting next to my pillow. I can feel her watchful eyes roaming my face.

“Get outta here with that shit Val, you know you’re fucking gorgeous,” she murmurs, her words lighthearted but to me they mean more. My stomach filling with butterflies, I finally turn to face her, eyes meeting hers.

“You really think so?” I ask in a moment of vulnerability. I was a confident woman, someone who took care of herself, didn’t need anyone’s approval. But with Paige I found myself craving it. I hated it

With a roll of her eyes, Paige smirks and pulls me on top of her. “C’mere ma,” she murmurs and her hand drags me down for a kiss by the back of my head. I sigh into her lips, my body against hers and legs straddling her as Paige’s big hands explored my body, slipping underneath the t-shirt and brushing against my side. All the need accumulated since last night, no, since that night in the bathroom finally tips over.

I break the kiss to sit back up and pull off the t-shirt, Paige’s mouth agape as she looks up at me, wetting her lips as her eyes wander around my body, letting out a heavy breath as her gaze lands onto my breasts.

“Perfect girl,” she coos, bringing her hand to cup my breast. Goosebumps cover my skin as I lower myself back to kiss her jaw. I had completely forgotten about Jay at this point, all I saw was Paige.

My hands are quick to find her shorts, pulling them down with urgency while my lips suck on her neck. Usually she reminded me not to leave marks but this time all I hear from her is heavy breathing and quiet groans, bucking her hips up at me. I grin against her neck, testing the waters and sucking a little, enough to leave a little mark. Paige only hums and helps me by throwing her shorts onto the floor.

My fingertips sneak underneath her sports bra, my other hand pushing Paige’s rising hips down, seeking to find contact somewhere. 

“Take it off,” I whimper and watch her lust filled gaze never break eye contact as she pulls the bra off, leaving her only in the black boxers. I found my mouth salivating for her, wanting to bury myself between her legs. But I must take my time, I needed to. I needed to drag it out as long as I could.

I watch her hiss and throw her head back as my tongue swirls around her nipple, feeling it turn hard underneath my tongue. Biting on it gently, I grind my clothed core down on her thigh, my wetness growing unbearable. 

“Val, you’re killing me,” Paige nearly whines and I giggle, leaving red marks on her breasts, my hands gripping her thighs tight.

“Good,” is all I say as I continue my descent, placing sloppy kisses all over her abs, my mind wandering to the dirty thoughts of what they’d feel like flexing under my pussy, grinding my clit against them. I needed to keep that in mind for the future. But not now, I needed to taste her.

Paige groans frustratedly, and I feel her hands coming to my head to push me down. I slap her hands away, pinning them by her side, lifting my head to look at her. She could easily push my grip away and take me, but Paige was letting me have my fun, my fingers digging into her wrists.

“Baby, c’mon,” she whines, looking down at me with her teeth biting down on her lip, brows furrowed and hips bucking. 

“Keep those hands to yourself Bueckers,” I murmur, my lips kissing along the band of her boxers. I hear her groan, arching to my touch. I lift my gaze to her, my eyes wide. “Oh, you want these off?” I ask, acting dumb, slowly beginning to pull down the boxers.

“You’re such a bitch,” Paige says, trying to sound serious but a small whine comes through in her voice, making me grin. 

“I think you like it,” I tease, finally pulling the boxers off her. “I think it makes you wet,” I grin seeing the way she’s glistening for me as I spread her legs apart, making room for myself.

“Fuck it does ma,” Paige moans, watching me descend inbetween her legs, her hand finding my brown hair and pulling it off my face. I maintain eye contact, my own core leaking through my panties at this point as I kiss her inner thighs, feeling the way they tremble underneath my lips.

“That’s fucked up, you should go to therapy,” I grin, my mouth slowly inching closer to where she needed me most. “That’s gotta be some kinda- mmph,” suddenly Paige’s hands both pull me to her core, my mouth buried in her cunt as she lets out a guttural moan.

“Ohhhh shit Val that’s it,” she groans as I take the hint, my tongue swirling all around her folds, softly lapping against her clit just the way she likes. Her taste on my tongue feels like heaven and I feel my own eyes roll back from how good it felt to have her like this. My arms wrap around her thighs, pulling her impossibly closer as my lips suck on her clit, earning desperate whines from her.

“Mmmh, that’s it, just like that ma,” she moans and I hear her hiss as my tongue slips inside her, nose rubbing against her clit. Paige is making a mess of my face, and the sheets but neither of us bother to care at this point. She leans up against her elbows to see my ass in the mirrored closet opposite to her bed, letting out a groan as she sees the reflection of me bent over, eating her, a wet spot visible on my panties.

She leans over and I feel a loud smack on my ass as I continue to make a mess of her with my tongue, alternating between sucking her clit and licking sloppily. “Mmph,” I moan against her, it sending vibrations all over her body. That was enough for me to feel the muscles on her thighs start to tighten.

“Taste so good baby, fuck,” I whimper on her pussy, making Paige let out a guttural groan, her grip in my hair tightening further, guiding my mouth just right.

“Such a fucking good girl,” she hisses, watching me in the mirror, her eyes heavy as she found herself getting closer just from the way my tongue is lapping her up. “So fucking- ahh shit, sexy,” 

“Yeah you think I’m sexy?” I whimper against her dripping cunt, shaking my head with my tongue buried in her folds. Paige’s eyes flutter shut and she nods, jaw going slack.

“Perfect, so good for me,” she mumbles, barely able to hold herself together. “Gonna make me– shit, gonna make me cum.”

I keep lapping her, listening for her reactions and holding her still as her body started to squirm underneath me, building to her orgasm. “Baby I need you to cum,” I murmur, my jaw hurting but the sounds coming out of Paige’s mouth making it all worth it.

“Please, Paige,” I whine and that does it. I feel her gasp, her hand gripping my hair and burying my face into her. I could barely breathe but I don’t mind as my mouth works tirelessly to get her over the edge.

“Valerie, oh fuck,” she groans, her head tilting back and back arching as she reaches her orgasm, grinding herself against my face. It’s so hot I nearly come too. I guide her through it, licking her until her moans turn high pitched and her hands in my hair ease up.

Panting, she brushes her hair off her face as I wipe my face onto her thigh, watching her from between her legs.

“Goddamn baby,” she says hoarsely, trying to catch her breath. Giggling, I climb back up on top of her, Paige’s hand slapping my ass hard enough to make me let out a squeal. 

“Stop, you’ll leave a bruise,” I complain, but Paige grins arrogantly, pulling me into a sloppy kiss. I moan hard, feeling the dampness in my panties growing unbearable.

“That’s the point ma,” she chuckles against my lips, suddenly flipping me over and spreading my legs wide as she sits between them, biting her lips and gazing down at me. “Fuck,” she groans looking from my damp panties to my dark eyes. For a moment she looks almost a little flustered, trying to find the words.

“I uh, I got something new,” she says, her cheeks turning even redder. Curious, I lean up against the pillows behind me. “For us, I mean.” 

Wait, she knew I was seeing someone, and she was seeing someone too, but she got something just for us two? What game was she trying to play? It felt impossible to figure her out.

Before my mind begins to race further, Paige has dug out a blue vibrator wand and is kissing me more tenderly than before. She pulls away a little, clearly hesitating for a moment.

“I don’t want you using the same toy on me and your other bitches,” I tell her a little offended but Paige quickly shakes her head.

“No no no, Valerie ‘s not like that,” she urgently stops me, kissing me softly. “It’s just for us, for you. No one else.”

Her words sound soft, almost tender against my lips which only makes me grow wetter between my legs. I didn’t know what parts were an act and what were genuine. All I knew is I needed her badly.

The moment I nod, Paige’s hands slide underneath the band of my panties, sliding them down to my ankles tenderly, her kisses soft and sloppy against my lips, moving to my neck. The breathy whimper I let out makes Paige let out a heavy breath as her hands spread my legs wide apart, wetness dripping out of me already.

“So pretty,” she murmurs hoarsely, licking her lips as she grabs the vibrator, the quiet, steady buzzing signalling it was turned on. I watch her wide eyes as she brings it to my thighs.

“Paige please,” I whine out squirming as she kneels between my legs and places her knees on my thighs to hold them wide open and steady. She watches me writhe underneath her, nearly gasping for air from how bad she loves seeing me like this.

“Nuh-uh,” she shakes her head, the vibrator ghosting my cunt to find my opposite thigh, vibrating against it. “You know what to call me.”

Fuck. She had gotten like this once before, made me call her something that drove both her and me wild. She knew I would remember what it was.

“Fuck. Daddy, please,”

With that Paige presses the toy against my swollen, sensitive clit, immediately forcing wetness to drip out of me as I gasp and grab onto the sheets around us. She gasps with me, like she’s feeling it too as my legs immediately start to shake, wanting to close around the toy, but Paige’s legs are pinning me down. It was way too much, overstimulating in every sense.

“Too much P,” I cry out but Paige shakes her head, shushing me as she towers over me. 

“Just a lil more ma, you can take it,” she coos, leaning down to press kisses on my open mouth, turning the vibrator on a higher setting. “‘S gonna feel so good I promise.”

I feel my eyes grow teary as the toy vibrates against my soaking cunt ruthlessly, when suddenly all of the overstimulation turns into nothing but pleasure. My eyes roll back and I let out a loud moan.

“Daddy, shit,” I whine, my back arching and my nails digging into Paige’s back as she holds the toy steady on me, slowly starting to circle my clit with it making a quick mess of me.

“You’re so wet baby,” Paige gasps shocked as she glances down at the way her hand and the sheets were glistening. But I barely notice, already feeling that coil in my abdomen start to tighten. I’m gasping desperately now, hands grabbing anything they could, moaning loudly as Paige kissed my jaw and neck groaning against my skin.

“Daddy I’m gonna come-” I cry out, tears spilling from my eyes, Paige moving the vibrator against me sloppily, driving me to the edge.

“Fuck, already?” Paige asks, surprised but impressed, her nose pressing against mine. My legs tremble desperately as her free hand slides up to hold my jaw.

I nod, my eyes squeezing shut as I’m just about to roll over the edge. Suddenly Paige pulls the toy away from me, making my eyes snap open and leaving my core throbbing, no, aching for relief.

“What the fuck?” I ask but Paige just grins down at me. 

“You didn’t say please,” she smirks, making me roll my eyes.

“I don’t have to say please,”

“Yes the fuck you do.”

“No I don’t,”

“Fine if you don’t wanna come ma.” 

Frustrated, I groan. I simultaneously hated and loved when Paige made me beg for it. I hated giving her the satisfaction. But lying underneath her with my cunt throbbing and tears rolling down my cheeks I would’ve done anything to come for her.

“Please,” I say, my cheeks blushing as I look up into her blue eyes. She was enjoying this a little too much.

“Please what?” Paige teases, pushing the vibrator against my inner thigh again. It makes me moan softly, wanting to buck my hips closer, but it was useless.

“Please daddy,” I finally whine, earning a smile from Paige.

“Good girl.”

The vibrator is pushed against my clit again, now turned up all the way, forcing a moan to spill from my lips as I feel my orgasm quickly start to build once more.

“Open your mouth,” Paige commands and I don’t even think about it when I push my tongue out and feel her spit into my mouth before kissing my lips fiercely, moving the toy in a circular motion against my swollen clit.

“Daddy, fuck, please, please, please,” I plead, not even completely sure what for as my mind turns hazy and my body trembles uncontrollably.

“Such a good girl for daddy,” she praises with a hoarse voice, nose pressed tight against mine as she kisses my open mouth, bringing me to the edge.

“C’mon pretty girl come for me.”

I feel my body ride over the edge, all the muscles in my body tightening, back arching and a high pitched moan leaving my lips as the pleasure finally releases, waves of ecstasy rushing over me.

“Aww shit, look at that ma,” Paige mumbles, looking between our bodies watching the way my cunt was squirting all over her arm, legs and bed. My mind turns completely blank, eyes shut tight as my nails nearly draw blood from her back, the pleasure overwhelming me. 

I swear I black out for a moment, only returning to consciousness from how suddenly overstimulating and almost painful the toy felt against my clit.

“Stopp, stop stop stop,” I whine pushing Paige’s hand away as she chuckles but obliges. The quiet buzzing of the toy ends as it’s thrown onto the mattress and the blonde crashes on top of me, nuzzling her nose into my neck.

I take a moment to try and catch my breath before I realise what just happened, and what a mess I had made. Looking down at us and the wet spot we were lying in I sigh, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Fuck I’m sorry P,” I murmur but she pulls away, looking at me shocked.

“For?”

“For, well…” I mumble and point to the mess but she only smugly smiles and shakes her head.

“You’re kidding, ma that’s so sexy,” she arrogantly says.

My eyes widen in surprise. “Really?”

Paige licks her lips and nods. “Ye, really. Never made you squirt before.”

I blush a little as Paige presses a soft, tender kiss on my lips - almost loving.

“C’mon let’s go shower,” she murmurs.

I giggle a little, shaking my head. “I cannot stand yet.”

“Oh,” Paige laughs and looks down at my legs that are visibly still trembling.

“I’ll carry you then,” she says and easily scoops me up, walking us both towards the shower. 

I rest my head on her shoulder, watching the way her nose turns up at the end, the way her lower lip pouts and how her jawline sharpens as she tilts her head. Something about her had changed. Lately she had been more caring, kind, tender. I didn’t understand it. All I knew is the way my heart fluttered and my mind eased up around her, I was in big trouble with Paige Bueckers.

-

taglist:  @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch @mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @justliketoreadsowhat @oreo2sblog @sftlyortega @slvt4her @julieloveswbb @vsz333 @faeries-posts @vamptizm @ellapurnellmybeloved @ivorygoal @onlyhereforpazzi @thelightknight21 @paigeluvvr @absolutelydreadful @imamartini @lupinqs @authentic-girl03 @isurpussygreen @xxloveralways14 (SORRY IF I FORGOT TO TAG)

[astralnymphh]

gamer!ellie would def be a sweat on fortnite, like her obsession with it is just borderline insane (me fr)

-🧟‍♀️

౨ৎ oh she definitely yells at kids on there. gets so serious abt it too. if u were to chance upon her she'd be couped up in her little leather gaming chair, snacks galore scattered upon her desk, her feet tucked beneath in a criss—cross position (back for sure hunching n u scold her abt it all the time) and literally twiddling that fucking controller like it personally offended her. the fingers wrapped taut around the plastic legs flushing of her natural pigment— literal cherub red fingerprints, thumbs wrestling the little joysticks, so vigorously, so madly, ur ears pick up faint clacks from ayond the oaken bedroom door. and her face— gosh her face, laughable. thick bush of her scarred brows knurling into the hood of her eyes, dragon–esque, if you want to ponder a term, just angry looking. STOPP cause she'd be so baaddd with mic privileges. there's an ongoing list of things spat from that filthy gob of hers, namely: "BITCH!" , "I'M NOT GAY!" , "your parents don't love you!" , "SANTA ISN'T REAL!" , "YOU'RE GAY!" or— oh my, if she joined a cod lobby it'd be, "i've got hoes andddd you don't." (ur her only hoe) , "suck my big, faattt, thick dick!" , "KILL YOURSELF." but it'd be in that deep bellow that ripples so satisfyingly from her chest, you start to dote when she gets enraged at the silly little pixels flashing her screen.

know she gonna need crazy head after those matches tho. wait i kinda enjoy writing for gamer!ellie GUYS GUYS GIVE ME SCENARIOS SFW/NSFW ANGST (angst 💀💀bro cried at the roblox sad stories from yt) ASKS IDC

[moodyvoid]

Hi, How are you ☺️.

Can you guess the LOV's favourite games. Or just the Genre of Games they would like.

Sorry if someone else has already asked

Shigaraki has been confirmed to have played a lot of PvP games, but then switched to simulation games. We know he plays League of Legends (I’m pretty sure that’s where he got the name of the league from lmao) He was a League of Legends/Call of Duty/Fortnite gamer. I’ve joked about it before, but I think he’d actually really like Animal Crossing. The game is so reflective of taking on the role of a leader and caring for your villagers and making the town better for them (like he wants for the league members 😭)

Spinner is also confirmed to have liked League of Legends, and from the context we get about him and Shigaraki bonding over video games, I’m willing to bet their tastes are very similar— however he loves the Grand Theft Auto series. (That is how he learned to drive, after all). Also, I feel like he’s probably lost several months of his life to World of Warcraft.

-the rest of this is just my assumptions bc we have no canon info about the others gaming habits lmao-

Dabi doesn’t game very often, but he’s the only one in the league who is willing to play horror games. He probably also likes games like Dead by Daylight, but only if his role is the killer.

Toga gives me Sims energy and she works hours on making her sims perfect (yes, she will make people she knows irl). She also definitely plays dress-up games and dating sims.

Magne doesn’t strike me as an avid gamer, but she would LOVE playing the Jackbox party games with the league. She also gets mad competitive over board games lmao

Twice gives me classic Nintendo vibes. Super Mario, Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, Donkey Kong (etc.) He probably loves Super Smash Bros.

Mr. Compress also doesn’t strike me as an avid gamer, but Shigaraki once suggested Ace Attorney to him and he loved it. (this man lives for a courtroom drama)

Kurogiri unfortunately isn’t a gamer. However, I could see Shigaraki trying to teach him how to play video games and then Kurogiri trying to teach Shigaraki how to play card/bar games in return.

Giran 👈 THIS MAN GAMBLES ONLINE

AFO has never touched a video game in his life, and if he has, it was Pong— and he sucked at it.

[yizmiu]

SITUATIONSHIP 〻ᯇ # lee heeseung

001. BOMBOCLAAT | smau + written 760 wrds

IN WHICH ✶ y/n loved the idea of love, simply because she hadn’t experienced it yet. She hoped and prayed that love would come to her at the perfect time of her life where she’s mentally stable and ready for it. So when she suddenly gets attention from Lee Heeseung—she can’t tell if she likes this or not? This sudden attention, he was extremely sweet to her, way too sweet that it was suspicious. Given his reputation, Heeseung wasn’t the type to settle. So why was he all up on Y/n? and just why was Y/n enjoying it? She was confused with herself and her new situationship, maybe she’s just overstimulated by everything and scared to commit.

“Oh my god, Hani! You just stole my kill.” Y/n groaned in disbelief. “Oh, I’m sorry.” The boy laughed, “I’ll let you have the kills, I'll just assist you now.”

“There’s shooting to the right, let’s rush!” Seunghan said as his and Y/n’s characters sprinted towards the shooting. “Okay. You got that, Y/n!”

“OKAY NEVERMIND PLEASE COME HELP ME!” Y/n shouted as everything went downhill as soon as she started shooting. “I DONT GOT THIS I DON’T THINK I’M THAT GOATED.” She rapidly spoke as she tapped quickly at her mouse.

“I got it.” Seunghan said as he quickly killed the team that was attacking Y/n. “Thank you, Hani. You’re my savior.” Y/n sighed in relief.

“Of course, we just have one more person now. Let’s go to find them.”

—

“Hi, chat!” Heeseung waved to his webcam. “Me and Jake are gonna play a little fort today, maybe some roblox if I feel like it.” Heeseung explained the game plan for his stream today.

“Hi, chat.” An Australian accent spoke out, breaking the sound barrier which hurt Heeseungs ears, along with chat’s. “Jake, your mic is so loud bro.” Heeseung laughed as he switched the screen to discord, where you could see Jake adjusting the volume of his mic.

“Is this better?” Jake asked, Heeseung nodded his head approving the sound quality of his mic.

“Chat, I was just peacefully playing Sims 4 when Heeseung-Hyung suddenly tweets saying we are playing fortnite? I didn’t agree to this at first, I was busy making the boys.” Jake argues. “Jake likes to also give himself a girlfriend, right?” Heeseung teases, with a smirk on his face.

“Hyung, you know my dm’s are crazy filled.” Jake tried to show off. “Whatever, let’s just play fort, is your update done?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, do you want to play squads for the shits and giggles? We can just hope they have mics.” Heeseung suggested. “Yeah, playing with strangers…can be interesting sometimes.”

“Okay, ready up.” Heeseung says and Jake does so.

The two loaded into the game, being put into a squad with the users, “HaniHehe” and “FashionQueen127”.

“FashionQueen127? What kind of username is that?” Heeseung asked. “Says you, KittyDestroyer.com??” Y/n asked in confusion.

“I’m a kitty destroyer, it’s very literal.”

“And I’m a fashion queen, it’s very literal.” Y/n said seriously which made Heeseung and Jake laugh.

“I’m only playing around.” Heeseung chuckled. “HaniHehe, is your name Hani?” Jake asked. “It’s my nickname, my name is Seunghan.” Seunghan answered. “That’s cool! I’m Jake, duh, it's in my username.” Jake scoffed at himself.

“I’m Heeseung, what’s your name, FashionQueen127– Do you like NCT?” Heeseung asked mid sentence. “I do like NCT!” Y/n said with some excitement. “Oh, and my name is Y/n.”

“I’m streaming right now, say hi to my chat.” Heeseung said as he pinpointed “Fencing Fields”. “Let’s go to “fencing fields.”

“Hi, Chat.” Seunghan and Y/n said at the same time. “What’s your twitch username?” Seunghan asked. “It’s just my name Lee Heeseung.”

Y/n and Seunghan knew who Lee Heeseung was, hello who didn’t know Lee Heeseung?

The two went silent for a second, debating whether or not they should mention the fact that they both go to the same college as him.

“What’s your twitter?” Y/n asked. “It’s heeseung2earth! Do you listen to wave2earth?” Y/n loves wave2earth, she even saw them live once. “I love them! I saw them live before! I’m about to follow you.”

“Me too!” Seunghan said as he pulled his phone out. “Hey, I want new followers too. My user is jaeyun.sim!” Jake said.

user ynzhng has followed you!

user honghani has followed you!

Heeseung looked at his phone, looking at their profiles before following. Stunned at Y/n’s profile, he thought she was pretty.

“You guys go to Primrose? We go to Primrose!” Heeseung gasped as he followed the two. “Small world.” Y/n awkwardly chuckled.

“You knew who I was, didn't you?” Heeseung smirked. “Yeah, we did.” Y/n confessed, “You don’t know who we are– who I am at least so I didn’t say anything.” Y/n chuckled.

“What do you major in?” Heeseung asked as he looked around for loot. “Fashion.” Y/n answered plainly.

“And you major in dance right, Seunghan?” Heeseung asked, Seunghan was a familiar face to him.

“Yeah, I do.”

“You’re in…the Riize crew, right?” Heeseung tried to remember what dance crew the other was in. “Yes, I am!”

“That’s cool! Chat, we just made new friends!”

m.list — previous — next

ᯇ ೀ jayjay note ; yasssssss first chap, feedback is always appreciated!

ᯇ ೀ taglist ( open ) ; @lilacnini @haechology @heegyuwrld @wonyoungsvirus @enhaz1 @sparklingsjy @skzeyeu @euncsace @hotsforikeu @simjyunnie @yenqa @eleanorheartschishiya @ahnneyong @teddywonss @parkwonbinluvr @k1ttylvr @doulcie

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Nowadays (in 2024).

Ponyboy (born 2010)

on playstation 24/7

“FIVE MORE MINUTES, DARREL.”

his username is smth stupid like ‘smokersleftlung’ or ‘mylittlep0ny’

“wya?” when ur at his door

vapes.

SORRY.

noah kahan lover

jeans, steel toe boots, camo shirt, neon orange jacket.

would try to get his friends to read

but gets called a dork :)

“Something in the Orange” on full blast while thinking of Cherry

posts horrendous .5s of himself on snap

typa guy to hold a fish on his instagram

favourite show is probably yellowstone

Johnny (born 2008)

loves open boxing the gang !

sad he has an xbox and not ps like the boys

HATES fortnite.

unironically says skibidi gyat

“hey dal, look at that furry over there.”

its just some kid.

foster care.

dallas would add him on snap and getting annoyed when he said “wyll”

has a stupid bow by his name

“johnny🎀”

like bro you are not coquette.

cries to wlw poetry.

snap user: “ooh_achurch” insta: “cadecade55”

used :3 once and never did it again.

watched friends and says “hes so me” whenever he sees ross.

Dallas (born 2007)

“wyll”

typa guy to yell GYATTT in public

barks at emos and furries

vapes in the school bathroom

racist.

would call you a slur for looking at him for more than a second.

mullet + perm combo

jumped a 7 year old and got on the news

male manipulator core

owns a husky named after himself

knife enthusiast.

screams at his dad for ten more minutes on the playstation

“do u send?”

no i do not thank you very much.

suicide boys. lil peep.

thinks he’s dean from supernatural

same username everywhere: “imnottexan”

fav show: big mouth

Adelaide (born 2010)

regina george but on a mental level

gatekeeper.

arsonist !

had a friend group with “bug” “kai” “arson” and “alex” in 2021 and nearly khs.

almost thought she was bi.

fought a girl in the locker room at school

takis, cookie monster pajama pants, latina makeup

SABRINA AND CHAPPELL LOVER, used to be a swiftie

sturniolo triplet fan (owns all of space camp)

buys clothes from shein

usernames: “addiethebaddie” “adelaidecurtis”

fav show wld be shameless

BEDROTTING.

grew up on spongebob and bubble guppies

writes poetry in her notes app

Darry (born 2004)

“live laugh love” sign somewhere in the house

“Doesn’t know how to text normally .”

(jkjk)

“PHONE ON THE TABLE WHEN YOU GET HOME.”

has a pinterest board full of pumpkins and dogs

invested in the kardashians

the therapist friend

facetimes the gang when he’s on lunch break

doesnt understand what skibidi is

ONLINE COLLEGE!!!

blasts dad rock when he drops off the twins at school

duct taped two-bit to the top of his car during freshman kill week

did the same to steve

class of ‘22

lowk eats up lana del rey

hates twitter and instagram

username: “darrel_curtis”

believes in angel numbers (me too king)

has a picture of him holding a fish on his instagram to ‘attract the females’

Sodapop (born 2008)

boycott

belittle

boyboss

owned wizz for less than a day

trolled little kids on roblox with steve

saw too many… things on omegle.

scrolls on tiktok for hours.

usernames: “thispxssytasteslikepepsi” “sodap0p08”

binges twilight in hiding

also barks at emos and furries

laughs at any kinda fart joke

showed pony a picture of a horse and said “found u online”

they fought.

threatened to break the tv when he couldn’t play slime rancher for three hours

turns his life360 off when he goes out with sandy or to a car show

Two-Bit (born 2006)

broke four controllers when he played seige

trolls on fortnite

finally fucking finished high school (class of ‘24)

ice cream scoop hair

binges bojack horseman

bo burnham’s biggest fan

made a huge deal when the queen died

refused to wear a mask during quarantine because ‘ITS FOR SISSIES’

preaches the second amendment “MERICAAA”

username: “twobit”

sends random memes in the gc when the others are fighting

hates xbox users

complains about adelaide using shein

“tummy hurty” posts on his insta story

would slap the shit out of you if you said seige was just a game

Steve (born 2007)

trolls on dti

eats goldfish like his life depends on it

username: “handletherandle”

also preaches the second amendment

and the first

and the fifth

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICA—

went on a school trip to dc and hated everything he had to eat

doordashes when he has enough

hypocrite

wld call you a slur for a GOOD reason

avid minecraft player

and overwatch.

mountain dew addict

reposts politics and cars on twitter

hates minion memes

“wyll”

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

[citr0us]

NSFW ALPHABET - MATT STURNIOLO

Summary: alphabet headcanons about what sex is like with matt

!warnings: smut

A - Aftercare (what the are like after sex)

Matt is supeeerrrr affectionate with you after sex, asking if you´re okay and then going to shower with you. He gets very clingy with you, he loves just to cuddle while watching someting. Super cute

B- body part (their fav body parts of theirs partner)

Matt love your ass and thighs. he loves feeling them, and squeezing them. When you wear short shorts, he loves to watch how hot your ass looks in them.

C - Cum (where he likes to cum)

He loves cumming in your face, mouth and titties.

He loves watching his cum dripp in your body.

D - Dirty Secret (self explanatory)

He has a video of you masturbating that he uses to get off.

He tried with your photos, but it's not the same

he loves hearing you moaning, and he lovesss seeing your face while doing.

E - Experince (how experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing)

He has at least 1 or 2 bodys before you. He kinda knows what he is doing tho

I believe that yall will need to talk, and you will have to teach him some things

F - Favorite Position (self explanatory)

when he is on top of you, being able to see your body, curves and tits. he likes to see your face and expression

G- Goofy (are they serious in the moment?)

At first he would gigle a little, but then he would get serious and focused on your pleasure

H - Hair (if they have a lot of hair or little? is shaved?)

he's not full shaved

I - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he loves going slow and sensual he loves to making you feel good and take his time with you

J - Jack Off (masturbation)

he doesn't have to do it anymore because of you. If you are far from each other he would see some photos and videos of you to get off

K - Kink (pretty self explanatory)

Him being dominant, and bossing you around

L - Location (favorite places to do)

his bed where he can be comfortable with you. If it's at your house, I believe he'll accept it anywhere. sofa, bathroom…

M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your moans, evertime that you scream his name and show him that you are enjoying it

N - No (something that they wouldn’t do)

anything that involves his ass (idk)

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving)

Matt is a fucking giver

everbody knowss about matt the munch, This man loves to eat you outt and hear you moan for more and more

he know how to use his tougue

P - pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I feel like he can be both It depends on his mood. but generally is more slow and sensual.

Q - quickie (their opinions on quickie)

He would never say no to a quickie, but he likes more having time with you

R - risk (do they take risks?)

He's not the type who likes to take risks, he likes to do it at his house or yours

S- stamina (how many rounds can they go for?)

Matt usually can go for 2 rounds at least. but when he really wants he can go for 3 very easily

T- toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own any toys, but if you do he would use them on you.

U- unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you, and see how long you can last. doing things and saying things to you

V- volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc)

It's not that loud, you can hear some groans. But when he's getting close he gets kinda loud (like when he is playing fortnite ifykyk) and he starts talking too ''yeah, just like that'' ''c'mon yn don't stop''

W- wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Matt loves the idea of him fucking you on his car, with the loud music in the back.

x- x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Matt doesn't have big dick energy, butt i know it's long guys. trust me

y- yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HORNY all the timeee.

everbody knows that he his a fucking slut bro, he would get turn on by you just looking at him.

z- zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He is soo exhausted afterwards, he tries to wait for you to sleep first but he always sleeps first

[ball-of-butter]

red queen characters and their fav video games:

mare: grand theft auto 💀🙏 any gta game she can get her hands on but it started with the chinatown wars on ds

cal: missed out on a proper childhood so is treating his inner child to fnaf for the first time and idk… something something about the story being an overarching narrative about a brother trying to pick up the remnants of his family through his grief… he says he doesnt get the lore butbhe kinda does. also had a goat simulator phase for the same reasons but minus the angst

maven: i would like to say some really cool psychological game but this mf would probs love playing chess against a cpu the most 💀 silent hill takes second place though (he’s obsessed with the idea of a purgatory of one’s own making… hmm… i wonder why 🤔)

evangeline: mario cart (she eats anyone who even THINKS of playing as peach)

elane: some sort of dating sim methinks… maybe like those ikemen games (let her be y/n)

ptolemus: fortnite for the dances.

kilorn: also fortnite but he has one-sided beef with ptolemus on there who keeps trying to add him. he also has the toph skin and keeps wiping the floor with his ass (ptolemus has the miles morales skin)

cameron: the attack on titan vr game where the world’s best comedy is originated from

gisa: what remains of edith finch. cursed family narrative goes hard with these folk.

shade: hes a legend of zelda girlie.

diana: she genuinely doesn’t play any game besides minecraft because she gets forced it by other people. but i know she’d love red dead i just don’t think she could be convinced into playing it (tragic)

iris: virgo versus the zodiac would speak to her, i feel. she has a secret weird side that only indie games could tease out of her.

wren: star stable!!! secret horse girl lore.

thomas: resident evil 4 because depending what you headcanon him as hes either feening for leon or ada or both.

coriane: definition of stardew valley girlie. but considering what she went through maybe yume nikki would be a game she keeps close to her heart (someone check up on her).

elara: if the sims 4 existed in the red queen verse it could have saved a lot of lives. maybe even her own.

sara: she wipes everyone in super smash bros you best believe it.

julian: castlevania: symphony of the night… mm the grip it has on this nerd loser… do not even breathe the name alucard around him he will give you the entire dracula lore starting with le fanu’s carmilla.

dane: detroit become human. played markus’ storyline and bro suddenly was made to govern a democratic republic for the people by the people.

[pjsk-headcanons]

omg i have so many hcs for the characters and video games. warning this is probably the longest ask ill ever write

ichika - big classic sonic fan, also likes rhythm games (like rhythm heaven n stuff)

saki - played a lot of pokemon in the hospital bcs tsukasa would bring her his gameboy and pokemon ruby (or smtg) bcs once he showed her a surskit and she begged him to let her play bcs it was cute. she is now a die hard pokemon fan

honami - doesnt really play video games but she has lets go eevee and a bunch of eeveelution and pikaclone plushies

shiho - plays like everything, but she especially likes fighting games and ace attorney. also plays every mario game when it comes out but only bcs "of how popular he is"

minori - LOVES needy streamer overload and cute rhythm games like melatonin. she also deff plays like harvest moon & stardew valley & stuff

haruka - before she became an idol she would play like silly mobile games but she never really got into games

airi - she is obsessed with the legend of zelda and completes every game on release (unless she has a show) (thats the only exception) shes tried other games simular to tloz but none have really stuck

shizuku - she knows like the basic controls of super smash bros brawl but she sucks like hell

kohane - still cries over abandoning her nintendogs sometimes. she plays a lot of raising animal games and tycoons on roblox sometimes

an - name one rhythm game she hasnt played i dare you. any game that can slightly require musical tallent or a sense of rhythm has been played by her (not in full but like). also she likes warioware

akito - sonic nerd. tails is his fav character with shadow in close second bcs of a middle school phase he went through but shadow stuck as a fav. ena has also played a lot of sonic bcs of this man

toya - wasnt allowed to play video games but vbs and the tenmas are slowly introducing him to those like combining games like tetris and suika game. hes surprisingly good

tsukasa - hyperfixates on pokemon like every other month. he makes a persona for every character he plays and gets emotionally attached and stuff (totally not projecting)

emu - kirby lover!!! also plays splatoon at least every splatfest and cooking games. she deff plays a lot of vr and has liked that job sim vr game with the tv robots

nene - we all know she likes shooting games (but idk that many so bare w me). she deff is the one who introduced emu to splatoon & they always chiose the same splatfest team. she also plays just any arcade shooting games and used to play fortnite but shes more into cos & apex now

rui - rui makes his own video games (rom hacks the shit outa every game he plays) (also has homebrewed his wii and wii u)

kanade - likes low stress games like melatonin and animal crossing. she also plays like stupid sims like bee simulator and placid plastic duck sim (one of her favs). she doesnt like multiplayer games that much though

mafuyu - she had a gameboy advanced that her dad got her when she was younger and she played like any game on clearance bcs her mom would get pissed if a game cost too much. that gamebot is now smashed and sold for parts, so are all the games

ena - HATES sonic with a passion. i wonder whos fault that is. she would always play those dress up games but woukd mess with photoshop and stuff more

mizuki - she wasnt allowed to play like rhythm games or fasion games when she was younger. she was told to play mario, or the legend of zelda, or starfox. she managed to convince her parents to let her play kirby and shes been obsessed ever since

🍼 anon (SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LONGER THEN MY FUCKING BODY)

.

[literallyveronixa]

still water + controlled rage + just put the fries in the bag + #nevergoon + sigma internet theory + womp womp + lil bro + hawk tuah + noradrenaline + 3,3 cuandadysproside + english or spanish + Anger issues + Balkan parents + Balkan rage + sigmadroline + jonkler laugh + german stare + sigma repect + crashout + the alpha leads the beta follows but the sigma walks alone + sigma phonk + pen island no spaces all caps + beethoven virus + i finna gyat + bluddy think he wesley slimeson + those who know how to flicker goon: + BOI + sigma sydrome + why so serious + chinese guy laughing + yns + 808 + bop + 1000 bottles of baby oil + bro think he carti + andrew tate rizz + fanum tax + no edging in class + ishowspeed turbulence + fortnite skibidi + bussin + blawg shlawg + bill collecter + goofy ahh quandale dingle + Skibidi gooning + Mongolian Munting + Indian felching +skibidi gyatt + rizz only in ohio + duke dennis + did you pray today + livvy dunne rizzing up baby gronk + sussy imposter + pibby glitch in real life + sigma + alpha + omega + male + grindset + andrew tate + goon cave + freddy fazbear + colleen ballinger + smurf cat vs strawberry elephant + blud + dawg + shmlawg + ishowspeed + a whole bunch of turbulence + ambatukam + literally hitting the griddy + the ocky way + kai cenat + fanum tax + garten of banban + not the mosquito again + bussing axel + in harlem + whopper whopper whopper whopper + 1 2 buckle my shoe + goofy ahh + aiden ross + sin city + monday left me broken + quirked up white boy busting it down sexual style + goated with the sauce + john pork + grimace shake + kiki do you love me + huggy wuggy + nathaniel b + lightskin stare + biggest bird + omar the referee + amogus + uncanny + pizza tower + portuguese tuah + zesty + kumalala savesta + quandale dingle + glizzy + rose toy + ankha zone + thug shaker + morbin time + dj khaled + sisyphus + oceangate + shadow wizard money gang + ayo the pizza here + PLUH + nair butthole waxing + t-pose ugandan knuckles + family guy funny moments compilation with subway surfers gameplay at the bottom + nickeh30 + ratio + opium bird + cg5 + mewing + fortnite battle pass + all my fellas + gta 6 + backrooms + gigachad + based + cringe + redpilled + no nut november + F in the chat + i love lean + looksmaxxing + social credit + bing chilling + xbox live + mrbeast + kid named finger + better call saul + i am a surgeon + hit or miss i guess they never miss huh + i like ya cut g + ice spice + gooning + fr we go gym + kevin james + josh hutcherson + metal pipe falling + Lithuanian respect moments + Venezuelan water polo + those who know + mango phonk + adrenaline + flow state + Hawk Tuah Respect + noradrenaline + balkan rage + Jonkler + Sigma rizz + still water + German stare + Russian frown + winter arc + ksi new song + still prime + Jamaican rage + Brazilian whistle technique + Canadian laugh + Norwegian smoldering + Locked in + Logan paul + ohio + Argentinian aggravation + Indian sigma respect moments + morrocan stock market + ancient skibidi toilet technique + North dakota stare + Switzerland sacred battle techniqueLithuanian Respect Moments + Venezuelan Water Polo + Those who know + Mango Phonk + adrenaline + flow state + Hawk Tuah Respect + noradrenaline + Balkan Rage + Jonkler + Sigma Rizz + Still Water + German Stare + Russian Frown + Winter Arc + KSI'S New Song + Still Prime + Jamaican Rage + Brazilian Whistle Techniuqe + Canadian Laugh + Norwegian Smolder + Locked In + Logan Paul + Ohio + Argentinian Aggravation + Indian Sigma Respect moments + Moroccon Stock Market + Rare Fish Market + Ancient Skibidi Toilet Technique + North Dakota Stare + Switzerland Sacred Battle Technique = Those who know 💀💀💀☠️☠️☠️

please leave me alone. i fear for my safety.

[ventismacchiato]

skibidi gyatt rizz only in ohio duke dennis did you pray today livvy dunne rizzing up baby gronk sussy imposter pibby glitch in real life sigma alpha omega male grindset andrew tate goon cave freddy fazbear colleen ballinger smurf cat vs strawberry elephant blud dawg shmlawg ishowspeed a whole bunch of turbulence ambatukam bro really thinks he's carti literally hitting the griddy the ocky way kai cenat fanum tax garten of banban no edging in class not the mosquito again bussing axel in harlem whopper whopper whopper whopper 1 2 buckle my shoe goofy ahh aiden ross sin city monday left me broken quirked up white boy busting it down sexual style goated with the sauce john pork if you actually ready this plz say "i got a level 10 GYAT!!!" grimace shake kiki do you love me huggy wuggy nathaniel b lightskin stare biggest bird omar the referee amogus uncanny wholesome reddit chungus keanu reeves pizza tower zesty poggers kumalala savesta quandale dingle glizzy rose toy ankha zone thug shaker morbin time dj khaled sisyphus oceangate shadow wizard money gang ayo the pizza here PLUH nair butthole waxing t-pose ugandan knuckles family guy funny moments compilation with subway surfers gameplay at the bottom nickeh30 ratio uwu delulu opium bird cg5 mewing fortnite battle pass all my fellas gta 6 backrooms gigachad based cringe kino redpilled no nut november pokénut november foot fetish F in the chat i love lean looksmaxxing gassy social credit bing chilling xbox live mrbeast kid named finger better caul saul i am a surgeon hit or miss i guess they never miss huh i like ya cut g ice spice gooning fr we go gym kevin james josh hutcherson coffin of andy and leyley metal pipe falling

i hate how i skimmed thru it and recognized most of the references 😭😭

[yakuzacasual]

Game of choice

Round of rapidfire late-night thoughts based entirely in my own gaming experience of a european, and things i've gotten through osmosis.

What kind of games they play with Yagami, Kaito, Sugiura, Higashi, Tsukumo, Mafuyu, Saori, Hoshino, Kuwana

Yagami needs his mental stimulation, with how many cases of his end up being a literal wild goose chase. He would totally be into Layton games and maybe even Ace Attorney if we feel a little on the nose. Eventually falls victim to the Spike Chunsoft pipeline from Danganronpa, through AI: Somnium Files, to Zero Escape series. 999 is now his favourite.

Kaito only cares about multiplayer shooting games with his buds. Rainbow Six Siege, Battlefield, PUGB you name it - he probably tried it. Aside from CS:GO, he was banned from ever trying CS:GO by Sugiura. Got roped into Fortnite along the way and although he clearly enjoys it, he keeps complaining it's clearly for kids.

Sugiura plays pretty much anything popular - Minecraft, Fortnite, GTA, Valorant - usually just to kill time. He doesn't care all that much about having "experiences that will change the trajectory of his life forever", as Tsukumo puts it. What only a handful of people know, however, is that he is absolutely INSANE about Mirror's Edge. Go figure.

Higashi will let his history nerd run wild and will put his hands on anything samurai period drama adjacent. He's been through things such as Ghost of Tsushima, Ishin and will brave the toughest of challenges in Sekiro and Nioh for his dose of the good shit. Recently he's been even caught trying out Katana Zero and despite not being his usual kind of setting, he ends up loving it.

Tsukumo is a League of Legends youth survivor and years clean of the cancer that enveloped him. These days he's neck deep into jrpgs and visual novels of all kinds. Most notably, he is THE Xenoblade Chronicles fan and has played literally every entry in and adjacent to the Megami Tensei series. Refuses to talk about Persona though, absolute SMT truther.

Mafuyu is the absolute casual girly player, with hundreds of thousands of hours in between things like Fashion Dreamer, every Sims generation and a touch of Splatoon when nobody's watching. Was there back when Flash games were a thing, where she would spend all evenings on the dress-ups and Devillish Hairdresser. Probably played Stardoll or something.

Saori finds herself lured into the strange appeal of Cultist Simulator, which somehow escalated into her being insane about Lobotomy Company and Library of Ruina. I don't know either. Suffice to say, she enjoys card and management games, with a bit of weird fucking lore on the side. At times she emerges from her solo player cave to kick people's asses in Dead By Daylight - she can WRECK with any killer.

Hoshino was there for the Giant Dad phase and has, ever since, remained one of the greatest, most viscious Dark Souls PVPers. Bro used to have absolutely no mercy with his neigh beast skill in the game and if you squint, he might've won a DS speedrun competition once or twice. These days he only logs in to help in multi (think along the lines of Let Me Solo Her) and will not shut up about Disco Elysium.

Kuwana is yet to recover from Hotline Miami brainworms even though it has been literal years. He has tried his hand at similar recommendations like Superhot, Ruiner or Ultrakill but nothing has ever stuck quite the same way. Ends up replaying the games every year like a religious ritual. Might end up getting into Katana Zero, but ends up so pissed with the ending he vows never to give chances again.

[damian-al-ghul-wayne]

skibidi gyatt rizz only in ohio duke dennis did you pray today livvy dunne rizzing up baby gronk sussy imposter pibby glitch in real life sigma alpha omega male grindset andrew tate goon cave freddy fazbear colleen ballinger smurf cat vs strawberry elephant blud dawg shmlawg ishowspeed a whole bunch of turbulence ambatukam bro really thinks he's carti literally hitting the griddy the ocky way kai cenat fanum tax garten of banban no edging in class not the mosquito again bussing axel in harlem whopper whopper whopper whopper 1 2 buckle my shoe goofy ahh aiden ross sin city monday left me broken quirked up white boy busting it down sexual style goated with the sauce john pork grimace shake kiki do you love me huggy wuggy nathaniel b lightskin stare biggest bird omar the referee amogus uncanny wholesome reddit chungus keanu reeves pizza tower zesty poggers kumalala savesta quandale dingle glizzy rose toy ankha zone thug shaker morbin time dj khaled sisyphus oceangate shadow wizard money gang ayo the pizza here PLUH nair butthole waxing t-pose ugandan knuckles family guy funny moments compilation with subway surfers gameplay at the bottom nickeh30 ratio uwu delulu opium bird cg5 mewing fortnite battle pass all my fellas gta 6 backrooms gigachad based cringe kino redpilled no nut november pokénut november foot fetish F in the chat i love lean looksmaxxing gassy social credit bing chilling xbox live mrbeast kid named finger better caul saul i am a surgeon hit or miss i guess they never miss huh i like ya cut g ice spice gooning fr we go gym kevin james josh hutcherson coffin of andy and leyley metal pipe falling

What the hell did I just read.

[tgshydestan]

skibidi gyatt rizz only in ohio duke dennis did you pray today livvy dunne rizzing up baby gronk sussy imposter pibby glitch in real life sigma alpha omega male grindset andrew tate goon cave freddy fazbear colleen ballinger smurf cat vs strawberry elephant blud dawg shmlawg ishowspeed a whole bunch of turbulence ambatukam bro really thinks he's carti literally hitting the griddy the ocky way kai cenat fanum tax garten of banban no edging in class not the mosquito again bussing axel in harlem whopper whopper whopper whopper 1 2 buckle my shoe goofy ahh aiden ross sin city monday left me broken quirked up white boy busting it down sexual style goated with the sauce john pork grimace shake kiki do you love me huggy wuggy nathaniel b lightskin stare biggest bird omar the referee amogus uncanny wholesome reddit chungus keanu reeves pizza tower zesty poggers kumalala savesta quandale dingle glizzy rose toy ankha zone thug shaker morbin time dj khaled sisyphus oceangate shadow wizard money gang ayo the pizza here PLUH nair butthole waxing t-pose ugandan knuckles family guy funny moments compilation with subway surfers gameplay at the bottom nickeh30 ratio uwu delulu opium bird cg5 mewing fortnite battle pass all my fellas gta 6 backrooms gigachad based cringe kino redpilled no nut november pokénut november foot fetish F in the chat i love lean looksmaxxing gassy social credit bing chilling xbox live mrbeast kid named finger better caul saul i am a surgeon hit or miss i guess they never miss huh i like ya cut g ice spice gooning fr we go gym kevin james josh hutcherson coffin of andy and leyley metal pipe falling

[trainedchimpanzee]

Skibidi gyatt rizz only in ohio duke dennis did you pray today livvy dunn rizzing up baby gronk sussy imposter pibby glitch in real life sigma alpha omega male grindset andrew tate goon cave fizzy fazbear Colleen Ballinger smurf cat vs strawberry elephant blood dog shmog ishowspeed a whole bunch of turbulence bro really thinks hes carti witawy hitting the gwiddy the ocky way kai cenat fanum tax garden of banban no edging in class not the mosquito again bussing axel in harlem whopper whopper whopper whopper one two buckle my shoe goofy ahh adin ross sin city monday left me broken quirked up white boy busting it down sexual style goated with the sauce john pork grimace shake kiki do you love me huggy wuggy and daniel b lightskin stare biggest bird oh am i the referee amogus uncanny wholsome reddit chungus keanu reaves pizza tower zesty poggers quandale dingle lizzy thug shaker morbin time dj khaled sisyphus oceangate shadow wizard money gang ayo the pizza here pluh nair butthole waxing t-pose Ugandan knuckles family guy funny moments compilation with subway surfers gameplay at the bottom youwo delulu opium bird cg5 mewing fortnite battlepass all my fellas gta6 backrooms gigachad based keno cringe redpilled no nut november poki nut november foot fetish f in the chat i love lean looksmaxing gassy social credit score bing chilling xbox live mr beast kid named finger better call saul hit or miss i guess they never miss huh i like your cut g icespice fr we go gym

[notstilinski]

Teaching Angela Fortnite Starters !

Taken from the Smosh Games' livestream, Teaching Angela Fortnite! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! 

“I want to ask you what you think a Dub is?”

“Is that where people go, “Come home with a W”?”

“It’s kinda like Survivor?”

“I’m a little dang nervous because of the Squads here.”

“I DON’T NEED A WIPE! I’LL USE A WIPE WHEN I’M DEAD!”

“Yeah, that’s crazy that you think that.”

“I sound like a fucking ad right now.”

“I guess they have a pig? Is that something (Name) does?”

“Of course you gotta be weird about her!”

“I would say that all of Fortnite is gay Fortnite.”

“Okay? Okay. Then what the tuck are you here for? You’re not going to help me?!”

“MY BROTHER IS IN THE CHAT!”

“(Name) are you awake?”

“Okay did you see how that liquid was kinda really weird?”

“Yeah! I think we have it in Theatre Kid Mode.”

“Okay, so now when I see someone, I just run?”

“We’re in a game.”

“People are saying you radiate Favorite Cousin vibes.”

“L for /lock in/. Got it.”

“I had to train myself to not panic. I went to therapy.”

“We wanna hit that person with our car.”

“Grand Theft Auto is for sinners!”

“There’s a guy so hit him with your car.”

“Guys! Women are good!”

“Let’s fucking leave this bread and breakfast.”

“Where’s that guy I never killed?”

“Where is she? Where’s my daughter?”

“How do I make a car kill?!”

“Where’d she fucking go? Where’d the bitch go?”

“No! It’s okay, it’s okay. I need faith in the room!”

“This car has cellulite now.”

“What if it’s been (Name) this whole time?” 

“What is this copyright free song?”

“(Name) is so insanely patient, dude.”

“Not me getting starstruck.”

“Oh my god! Mom, (Name) and (Name) are fighting!”

“This is so sick. And by ‘sick’ I mean BORING.”

“So, like, kill this person.”

“Bro, I feel like an absolute cuck.”

“Oh no, here comes the crazy scary, beautiful lady!”

“Uh oh, I can’t do letters!”

“It’s just gonna look like they’re jerkin’ it.”

“No but when they come in you have to fucking slaughter.”

“Oh so you don’t know that this is really impressive? What I’m doing?”

“This is probably the first game since you played since, like what? Crash Bandicoot?”

“This is, frankly, terrifying.”

“You killed so many people just now.”

“I can’t believe (Name) is Ninja.”

“Where’s my brakes wife and my sandwich?”

“”(Name) marry me.” Uh, cant. My partner would be pissed.”

“”How do I know when they die?” You make sure of it.”

“So, anyways, I resumed blasting.”

“Stop saying they know.”

“Death by B.O.B.”

“It’s like you brought a shot gun to baseball.”

“You’re playing against eighty year olds, five year olds and other theatre kids.”

“Imagine getting dissed that hard by (Name).”

“Don’t call them bitches, bro.”

“Is (Name) wearing pants? No.”

“Uh, yes, because of Slay.”

“I really just wanted to come here and Slay.”

“The best part is when they don’t do great.”

“Oh, you hate to see women fight each other like this.”

“I’m going to need you guys to apologize.”

“Okay, I was just about to say that I’m used to being ignored.”

“(Name), no. We love you and we know that we could fuck with you.”

“Anytime someone shows interest in me, I’m like, “Oh, you hate me.””

“Now you’re in a Dodge commercial.”

“There’s nothing about conflict resolution that I’m not scared of.”

“Are we in a little town in Spain?”

“(Name), (Name). End it.”

“Nickelback meets Nine Inch Nails.”