#these lyrics on him? ugh. so peak.

[morelikesin]

all the while they said

are you outta your head?

[ireneaesthetic]

Pointing out little moments and details of my fav s3 scene.

choir practice scene • episode 2

this scene caught me so off guard, in the best way possible.

it only took simon's "you should do an activity you actually like" for wilhelm to drop everything and choose getting to spend more time with him!

simon's reaction at wille joining the choir was also mine: he can't believe his eyes and keeps looking back at him with the brightest smile on his face. and simon shifting wille's attention to where the song lyric is bc it's all new to him is adorable.

wilhelm's little proud smirk between the kisses while simon is so into it: he knew and imagined simon's surprised and happy reaction to all this, but i bet he was thriving to see it up until this very moment. so he might just be thinking that he made the best choice of his life.

having to practice and wait for everyone to leave was probably torture for simon, when all he really wanted to do since wille came in was this (simon's main love language is clearly acts of service btw *cough*). he felt important, cared for, loved - and couldn't wait to reciprocate it.

also, he's holding the key chain and happens to do the middle finger with the same hand. if you look at it as a way of saying 'mind your own business' to us is quite funny.

simon setting the rhythm and wilhelm fully going along with it. they don't even separate their lips before leaning in for another kiss - melting into it. they literally said 'no need to catch air bc we're already breathing each other in'.

simon not breaking physical contact even once. his hands are the third main character in this scene: they act like a glue for their bodies and carry so much passion. it is peak chemistry.

going on his tiptoes to push himself as close as possible and clinging to wille for dear life is the most simon thing he's ever done. love really brings out the cuddliest version of him.

smiling into the kisses and out of the kisses? insane of them if you ask me (i support it) (keep doing it lovers).

wille smiling and biting his lip bc he's the one overwhelmed by simon's presence now. physical touch is his love language and he's flooded with simon's - he must feel the luckiest boyfriend on earth.

one of their greatest proofs of love has always been to provide each other's comfort by being exactly what they lack receiving from other people or what they need most of the times - it's a constant learning of how to give and take.

they can't get enough of it: it's not even only about the kissing but more about their need to just keep pulling the other closer, leaning into each other, slowing their movements to not leg go yet but take time to touch and deeply feel instead - wille's face speaks for itself. this hug is so intimate ugh.

it's finally shown a glimpse of wille's hand on simon's back! it was always there obv but it's nice to see it more properly.

wilhelm obsessing over simon's neck and simon who tilts his head back to make it more accessible. wille could've done it all and trace the path with kisses - simon wished - but the boy knew what he was doing!

the way simon looks up at him and wille rubs their noses back and forth, keeping his eyes on him, gives me butterflies.

they're super affectionate and it's the easiest thing for them to do. the intimacy that comes with their whispering, their own personal space becoming one for both of them to share bc it's safer, warmer, a lot more comfortable. everything is such a manifesto of how much they genuinely adore each other - it's what makes this the it scene for me.

their bottom lips touching are sooo *internally screaming*.

wilhelm stands still to let simon's lips brush past his own and simon's cheek resting against wille's lips to enjoy the feeling a little longer. they look so peaceful.

it happens after wille's "i like listening to you sing": they went from "he likes it when i sing" / "i do too, don't i?" (locker room's fight in s2) to wilhelm actually telling him that listening to his voice is one of the main reasons he joined the choir. it has to be extremely special for simon to finally hear it.

idk if it's just my mind making this up but let's pretend simon is kissing wille's neck here!

wilhelm picking simon up by the waist to carry him elsewhere and keep the thing going more privately. that's my wille.

can you believe this is the face of someone who's saying that he needs to go? to not miss the bus? he just looks crazy in love to me.

wille's laugh is cute! and simon throwing his stuff on the floor bc the priority was to push his boyfriend against the lockers to make out will never not be funny.

also, @allthefakepeople once said the only thing that could've made this scene even more perfect is if simon paused when walking away and ran back to wille to steal a quick goodbye kiss - ahhh i'd have been so here for it!

[b1nniecat]

🎶 counterpoint 🎶

chapter III: resonance.

pairing: college!au park wonbin x fem!reader

content warnings: swearing

wc: 2.1k

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♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡

The campus café was packed, the low hum of chatter mingling with the hiss of steaming milk and the clink of ceramic cups. Y/N sat tucked into a corner booth, her notebook splayed open in front of her, a half-finished iced latte slowly sweating on the table.

The page was a mess of scribbled-out lines, arrowed rewrites, and faint coffee stains. Her pen hovered over the paper, fingers trembling slightly as she tried to form the next sentence.

“I was thinking we could build the song structure around a softer acoustic verse before leading into a stronger instrumental chorus—kind of like a gradual climb.”

Wonbin’s dismissive voice echoed in her mind.

“That’s basic. Everyone does that.”

Y/N gritted her teeth, crossing out yet another line.

Too cheesy.

Too dramatic.

Too basic.

The words spiraled in her head, layering over one another until her chest felt tight.

“Ugh,” she muttered under her breath, smacking her pen down on the table and leaning back in her seat. Her eyes scanned the café aimlessly, looking for anything—anything—to pull her out of this loop.

A couple laughed nearby, sharing a dessert. A student in the corner dozed off with his head resting on an open textbook.

But her gaze kept slipping back to her notebook.

Her lyrics had always been her safe space. A place where she could put her emotions into something tangible, where they’d make sense. But now every word felt hollow, every idea stale.

A chair scraped across the floor, and Y/N glanced up to see Ningning plopping into the seat across from her, a bright smoothie in hand.

“Well, you look like you’ve been through it,” Ningning said cheerfully.

Y/N let out a weak laugh. “Thanks.”

Ningning’s sharp eyes flickered to the chaotic scribbles in Y/N’s notebook. “Writing again?”

Y/N shrugged, closing the notebook with a soft thud. “Trying. Failing.”

“Creative block?”

“More like… creative self-loathing.”

Ningning hummed, tilting her head slightly. “Is this about—?”

“No,” Y/N said quickly, cutting her off. “It’s not about him. It’s just me. I’m just… stuck.”

Ningning raised an eyebrow but didn’t push further. “Alright, we’re not spiraling today. Close the notebook. Take a breath.”

Y/N exhaled slowly, leaning back in her seat as Ningning pushed her smoothie across the table.

“Here. Try this. It’s supposed to taste like sunshine and rainbows or something.”

Y/N took the cup and sipped hesitantly. Her face scrunched up immediately. “Why is it so sweet? Did you order liquid candy?”

“Excuse me, this is peak beverage science. You just have boring taste buds.”

They both laughed softly, the tension in Y/N’s shoulders easing slightly. For a moment, it felt like the frustration clouding her head had cracked open, just a little.

Ningning’s gaze flickered back to the notebook, now closed but still sitting between them like an elephant in the room.

“Okay, serious question.” She leaned forward slightly, her voice softer now. “Are you stuck because you think your ideas are bad, or because someone else made you think they are?”

Y/N froze.

She opened her mouth, closed it, then shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“It kinda does.” Ningning poked her straw into her smoothie with exaggerated focus. “Because if it’s the second one, then he wins. And we don’t let broody boys with questionable social skills win.”

Y/N let out a sharp laugh, shaking her head. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Because it is simple.” Ningning grinned, winking. “Now, are we gonna sit here and let you keep angsting, or do you wanna grab a snack and people-watch with me?”

Y/N hesitated for half a second before she nodded. “Alright. Snack run sounds good.”

“Attagirl.” Ningning stood up and motioned for Y/N to follow.

As they walked toward the counter, Ningning chattered about some guy in her econ class who pronounced “macroeconomics” like it was a new species of pasta. Y/N found herself smiling—not because her frustrations had disappeared, but because, for a moment, they didn’t feel so heavy.

But as they stood in line, waiting to order, Y/N’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She fished it out and glanced at the notification.

Y/N’s stomach flipped slightly, her thumb hovering over the notification before she locked her phone again and shoved it back into her pocket.

She sighed softly, shoving her hands into her pockets.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

The practice room was dim, the glow from the lone dusty lamp casting uneven shadows across the scratched wooden floor. Scattered sheet music and pencil-smudged lyrics lay abandoned around Wonbin, his guitar resting silently across his lap. His head was tilted back against the wall, eyes tracing faint cracks in the ceiling paint, his fingers motionless over the strings.

His mind wouldn’t quiet.

The same intrusive thoughts circled endlessly—the sharp edge in Y/N’s voice, the flicker of hurt in her eyes, the ghost of a conversation that felt like a stone lodged in his chest. And underneath it all, the ever-present weight of her. His ex. The lingering ache of words left unsaid and feelings left unresolved.

The faint sound of sneakers against the hallway floor reached him before the door creaked open. A mop of brown hair peeked in, followed by Seunghan’s lazy grin and Sungchan’s wide-eyed curiosity.

“There he is,” Seunghan said, stepping inside with a faint smirk. “The prodigal guitarist, lost in the void of his own thoughts.”

Sungchan followed, dropping his bag carelessly by the door and sliding onto the floor without hesitation. “You know, if you sit here long enough staring at the wall, it might start talking back.”

Wonbin didn’t move, his gaze still fixed somewhere far above them. “What do you guys want?”

Seunghan nudged a piece of crumpled sheet music with his foot before leaning against the edge of the table. “Honestly? To make sure you don’t turn into a piece of furniture in here.”

Sungchan propped his elbows on his knees, studying Wonbin carefully. “You’ve been here since, what, lunchtime? It’s dark outside now.”

Wonbin let out a faint sigh through his nose but didn’t respond.

Seunghan crouched by the table, leaning against it as he studied Wonbin’s face. “Alright, Bin. What’s the plan? Sit here until you grow roots or actually talk to us?”

“Not in the mood,” Wonbin muttered.

“No shit,” Sungchan said with a snort, tearing open his bag of snacks and tossing a chip into his mouth. “But, like, you’re also not in the mood to not think about it, so maybe just let it out. Otherwise, we’re all just wasting time.”

Wonbin’s fingers tightened slightly around the neck of his guitar. He didn’t look up.

“You already know what happened,” he said after a long pause, his voice low. “What’s the point?”

“The point,” Seunghan said, pulling a chair over and plopping into it, “is that you’re obviously still beating yourself up about it. And we’re here to… I don’t know, bully you out of your funk.”

Wonbin’s lips twitched faintly at that, but the small flicker of amusement disappeared almost immediately. “I was out of line,” he admitted softly, his gaze fixed on the floor. “She didn’t deserve that.”

“Well, duh,” Sungchan said, stuffing another chip into his mouth. “But, like… you’re human, Bin. You had a bad day. It happens.”

“It’s not just a bad day,” Wonbin shot back, his voice sharper now. “I—” He stopped himself, exhaling sharply as he leaned his head back against the wall. “I’ve been off for weeks. Since…”

He didn’t have to finish. The breakup. The ex. They both knew.

Seunghan tilted his head slightly. “You still hung up on her?”

“No,” Wonbin said quickly, too quickly. His hands flexed over the guitar again. “It’s not about her anymore. It’s just… everything. I feel like I’m carrying this weight that I can’t… I don’t know. I can’t drop it. Even when I want to.”

Silence hung heavy in the room for a beat.

“You lashed out because you’re tired,” Seunghan said finally, his tone softer now. “Not just physically, but, like… emotionally. And it’s okay to admit that. No one’s expecting you to be fine all the time.”

“Yeah,” Sungchan chimed in. “But also, you’ve got the self-awareness thing down already. You know you messed up, and you feel bad about it. That’s literally, like, 80% of the problem solved. You just need to do something about the last 20%.”

Wonbin frowned slightly. “Like what?”

“I dunno. Start by apologizing?” Sungchan said with a shrug. “She probably already thinks you hate her, but maybe if you, like… don’t bark at her tomorrow, it’ll help.”

Seunghan leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “You don’t have to fix everything in one day, Bin. Just… don’t let it get worse. You care about this project, right?”

Wonbin nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“Then show her that,” Seunghan said simply. “Start there.”

Wonbin’s lips pressed into a thin line as he mulled over their words. He let out a slow breath, his fingers finally strumming the strings of his guitar once—soft, hesitant.

Seunghan stood up, clapping a hand lightly on Wonbin’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. Sungchan bought snacks, and I’m starving.”

Sungchan waved the bag of chips in the air. “Consider it an incentive.”

Wonbin hesitated, his gaze flicking toward the scattered papers on the floor, before finally standing up with a small sigh. “Fine.”

Sungchan grinned as he slung an arm around Wonbin’s shoulders. The three of them walked out of the practice room together, the dim hallway feeling just a little brighter.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

The fluorescent lights buzzed faintly in the hallway as Y/N walked briskly, her tote bag swinging with each step. The evening chill lingered in the air, clinging to her skin even after the warmth of the library. Her headphones hung loosely around her neck, her mind still spinning from hours of studying and the earlier conversation with Ningning.

As she rounded the corner toward the dorm elevators, voices echoed faintly from the opposite direction. She glanced up instinctively and froze.

Wonbin.

He was walking a few steps behind two other guys, his head slightly down, hands stuffed into his hoodie pocket. One of them—tall, animated, with a lopsided grin—was laughing about something, his voice loud and carrying in the otherwise empty hall. The other nudged him lightly, grinning along.

Her pace faltered for half a second before she forced herself forward. Her gaze locked ahead, her expression steely, but her grip on the strap of her bag tightened.

The trio grew closer, their voices overlapping until one of them—not Wonbin—caught sight of her. The laughter died down abruptly, and their pace slowed.

Wonbin lifted his head just enough for his gaze to meet hers. He froze for a second—too long to be subtle—and she didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched.

The other two guys glanced between them, brows raised slightly, clearly picking up on the sudden tension in the air.

Y/N didn’t stop walking. Her eyes narrowed slightly, just enough to make her point. Her chin lifted a fraction higher as she passed them, not sparing even a glance at the other two.

“Hey,” one of the guys—the taller one, with the grin—said awkwardly, clearly addressing her.

Y/N didn’t respond.

The silence that followed was thick and uncomfortable, stretching out as her footsteps echoed behind her.

Once she turned the corner, disappearing from view, Sungchan turned to Wonbin with an exaggerated blink. “Wait… was that—?”

Seunghan didn’t give him time to finish. “That was her, wasn’t it?” He covered his mouth with his hand, nudging Wonbin’s shoulder. “Dude.”

“Shut up,” Wonbin muttered, his shoulders stiffening visibly.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Sungchan held up a hand, his tone somewhere between teasing and incredulous. “That’s the girl you were talking about?”

Wonbin didn’t answer. His hands were still jammed in his hoodie pockets, his jaw tight as his gaze remained fixed ahead.

Seunghan let out a startled laugh. “Bro, she didn’t even look at you. That’s brutal.”

Wonbin let out a harsh exhale, dragging a hand down his face. “And here I thought you guys would take something seriously for once.”

“Alright, alright,” Sungchan said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “But, uh… have fun trying to mend whatever you managed to fuck up in the span of a day.”

Seunghan snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that. She looks ready to deck you next time.”

“I hate you both.”

♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. ♫⋆｡

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🏷️ @sftsohee @wonychu

a/n: hi!! going to be a little busy in the upcoming weeks but thankfully i worked ahead and have chapters 4 and 5 in the drafts already :3 updates will be a little slow until i find the time to basically finish all chapters in one sitting. after that, it’ll be consistent posting!!

- b1nniecat (>ᴗ•) !

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 29 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

Listen when I say these characters have a mind of their own, I mean it. I was just chilling writing the start of the last episode and then all of a sudden boom, we kissing and shit. Like ah excuse me, this wasn't in my plan, what are we doing? But hey they deserved a we treat and I mean so do we. So this chapter is definitely rated, if you aren't over 18, back! Back, I say! 🤺

TW: sexy time lmao, long chapter

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, anyone else please let me know.

We entered Bavaria in early May, and we had been tasked in capturing Berchtesgaden. It was a town high in the Alps, and was the symbolic home of the Nazi party. Apparently all of the important men of the party had houses there. Even though the man was dead, Hitler had ordered the SS to make it their last stand to keep the enemy out of their “sacred” town. 

I sighed, staring at the mass of boulders that blocked our way up the mountain, the hot sun beating down on my back. We had been stuck here for hours, waiting for someone with more artillery than we did, so we could blast our way through. 

I hummed a tune twirling a curl around my finger, trying to remember all of the words to the song I had stuck in my head. I couldn’t for the life of me remember the lyrics, only the melody played on and on in my mind.     

Lieb leaned against the wheel next to me smoking. “How long does it take for engineers to arrive?” I asked while shielding the sun from my eyes as I looked over to Lieb. 

“Who knows?” He said while taking a deep drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke in my face. 

“Lieb!” I whined pushing him away as he chuckled. 

“Stop humming, you’re driving me insane.” He retorted, shoving me back. “You just keep repeating the same part over and over again. You’re just as bad as Web and his stupid quotes from his literature.” I gawked offended by his comment, no way I was as annoying as Web.  

“Ugh, rude!” I got up from my position, dusting the dirt off the back of my pants. Lieb grinned at me, knowing he had wound me up. 

“Stop smirking!” I nudged his leg with my boot. “Take it back!” I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him my best pissed off face. 

“You’re not as annoying as Web.” Joe held his hands up in surrender. I laughed, smiling down at Lieb, who grinned back at me. 

“What about me?” Web startled me as he snuck up from behind. My eyes grew wide, plastering a smile on my face. 

“Web you need to stop sneaking up on me, seriously.” I burst out laughing, fortunately he hadn’t heard what we were talking about. 

I loved Web, he was so sweet, but his endless love for literature got very tiring. Somehow the conversation with him always ended in his love of books and all things written. Half the time I had no clue what he was talking about, I would nod and smile adding in, “Oh that’s so interesting.” But I wasn’t listening by that point anymore. 

“We were just talking about how long it would take the engineers to arrive.” I skipped over the most recent conversation we had, I didn’t want to hurt the poor man's feelings.  

“I think they are going to try something right now. Everyone is getting tired of waiting.” Web pointed to the pile of rocks that blocked the road. 

I peaked my head over the truck to catch a glimpse of two soldiers standing in the middle of the road with one of the bazooka's we had with us. I covered my ears just in time to muffle the explosion that blasted into the debris.

“I don’t think that will work.” I huffed, it had hardly made a dent in the huge pile. 

“No, but that does look fun.” Web grinned admiring the massive explosion. 

“Yeah!” Lieb launched to his feet. “Web, we should go help.” Web and Joe excitedly nodded at each other racing off to the front of the road.

“Ok, bye.” I said to the pair's back as they enthusiastically scurried away.  

I slumped down again, the same song still stuck in my head. 

“Aw, Em.” A large hand reached down and ruffled my hair. I looked up to find Bull standing over me. 

“They ditched me, for explosives. Can you believe that?” I asked in astonishment. 

A wry grin formed on Bull’s lips, he tilted his head to the side with a hearty chuckle. “I can’t say I am, little lady.” He said in his thick country accent. 

“No you’re right. I’m not shocked.” I laughed, shaking my head. 

I looked over to find Web and Lieb stacking grenades on the landslide of rocks. They sprinted back to where the two other soldiers stood still with the bazooka. Their grin’s were child-like as they ran back. 

Bull and I watched them, laughing at how excited they all seemed to be. Was it really that much fun blowing things up? 

They didn’t wait long, firing the rocket right into the pile of explosives the pair had set. The ground shook, as the booming echoed around the mountains. But still the pile of rocks seemed to remain the same, at least they were having fun. It was nice to see genuine smiles on their faces. 

“Easy!” Speirs yelled from the front of the trucks. “Let’s move out!” Spiers grinned widely with a skip in his step as he made his way back through the parked vehicles. 

“Are we not waiting for the engineers anymore?” I leaned over to Bull. 

“Guess not.” Bull smiled. “We better get moving, come on.” He took me by the crook of my arm, leading the way behind Speirs who was getting together all of Easy so that we could leave. 

*****************************

“It’s so quiet.” I whispered to Don as we walked. He nodded in agreement before turning back to the task at hand. 

Easy Company tiptoed silently down the empty streets, the group had found an alternative route up the mountain. We had been told to be on guard, and to expect the unexpected. 

So the soldiers walked through the streets with their weapons drawn, readying themselves for whatever was waiting for us.   

The town was eerily still, white flags hung from the windows of the houses we passed. The town appeared empty, there was no one present. The deserted village sent shivers up my back. Something that should be so busy and bustling with life now sat forlorn and abandoned.

Still I couldn’t deny that the place was beautiful even in its abandonment. The houses looked cosy and quaint as the tall mountains loomed over the small village. 

My eyes darted from one place to another, taking in all the sights that laid before me. A large red banner caught my attention. 

“Jesus.” I muttered to myself, eyes practically bulging out of my head as I took in the large swastika that covered the building in front of us. 

It was strange to see a symbol that meant peace and well-being have such a sinister feeling now attached to it. 

“Well, they really weren’t hiding it were they.” Grant said from beside me as we both gawked at banner’s. 

“Nope.” I agreed with the man. 

We made our way inside the big building that had ‘​​Berchtesgadener hof’ proudly displayed over the entrance. 

“Was it a hotel?” I leaned over to whisper to Don as we walked inside what appeared to be the foyer. 

“I think so.” Don confirmed. 

Like the town the hotel was just as quiet, no guests seemed to be staying or staff either.

I shied away from the brass sculpture of Hitler, that was prominently displayed in the middle of one of the rooms we walked through as we continued to search the building.  

A clanging made me jump from my skin, we rounded the corner to find a lone clerk being held at gunpoint by Lew. His eyes darted from Nixon to the rather large book that sat on the desk. 

“Looks like a guest book.” I said loudly, glancing over to Lew who nodded his head. 

“Everyone who was anyone signed into this hotel. And now we have all the dates and names of anyone who ever supported Hitler in his plans.” Lew said as he flicked through the book. 

“Guess there are staff after all.” I mused, watching the clerk scamper away.

************************************ 

Don and I walked around together forgetting the mission at hand, being too caught up in the lavish hotel. 

“Should we sneak into one of the rooms? See if the bath works?” Don asked suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at me. 

“Donald!” I giggled at the man giving him a whack. “No, well. No, we couldn’t. Well.” I debated the very enticing idea. 

“Oh come on! Speirs is probably out there now stealing all the silverware.” Don grinned at me, his fingers finding the nook of my arm to bring me along in his mischief. 

“Fine! We will look, quickly.” I added but not putting up much of a fight as Don dragged me down one of the halls.      

We pried open one of the doors, standing in the entrance way admiring the room. In the middle of the room sat a giant four poster bed. The duvet looked elegant, satin and lace coverings, with large fluffy pillows adorning the head. Across the room a tall window opened up, looking over the alps that surrounded the town. 

Don and I moved further into the room, finding our way into the bathroom, which seemed to be even bigger than the master suite. A white clawfoot bathtub stood proudly in the middle of the space. 

The far side of the room was taken up by a vanity that covered the width of the wall, with large basins that you could bathe in, if you so wished. 

“Fucking hell.” I uttered, completely in awe of it all. 

“Yup!” Don nodded as we looked over all of the interior. Even the ceilings were beautiful, fluffy white clouds and the bluest sky had been painted onto the roof of the bathroom. Gold accents of branches and leaves vined out into the sky. Everywhere my eyes could see the room was filled with exquisite details. 

“It’s stunning.” I couldn’t pick my jaw off the floor. 

“Eh, it’s alright. I’ve seen better.” Don shrugged, not seeming impressed with the glamour. 

“What?! When?” I asked in disbelief. 

“I have, truly.” I shook my head scoffing at him. 

“When?” I eyed him suspiciously. 

“Well.” Don started slowly making his way over to me. His stride was confident, freezing me in place. I sucked in a breath as he drew near, suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore. The look in his eyes sent the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. 

“There’s you.” Don had moved closer to me, my back pressed into the cold marble basin. My breath hitched in my throat as he leaned even further into me. 

We weren’t even touching yet, but the way Don took up the space had me stunned into silence. 

“You’ve gone all quiet on me.” He teased, deliberately placing his hands either side of my body, caging me into him.   

Goosebumps rose on my skin, I felt my cheeks flush. How had he turned this around so quickly?

“Emily?” My full name dripped off his tongue, as he smirked at me tilting his head ever so slightly. He knew what he was doing to me. 

I swallowed, trying to find my voice again. 

“What are you doing?” I asked softly, scared if I raised my voice too much it would disturb whatever was happening. 

“Nothing.” Don breathed, leaning further forward. “Is there something you want me to do?” His whispers tickled my neck. I hid away the sensitive skin, turning to meet his gaze. 

My heart pounded in my ears as our eyes locked. His stare was full of want, I almost melted into a puddle right then. 

“Stop teasing me.” I pleaded. The tension was overwhelming but exhilarating at the same time. It felt as if I was a raw nerve, the slightest of touch would set me on fire. 

“Oh my love, I’m not teasing.” Don smiled, but it wasn’t his normal smile. There was another intention behind it. I gasped as his hand cupped my cheek gently tracing over my jawline, it was only a slight brush but I found myself leaning into his palm. He didn’t give me the satisfaction, stealing away the brief contact. 

I glared at the man. Don was clearly teasing me. 

“Don.” I protested, trying to find his hand to bring back up to my face. But instead he found me first, holding my wrist still. 

I tried again with my free hand but it was no use Don had me pinned. 

I groaned in frustration. 

“You’re teasing me.” I whined, huffing. 

My annoyance didn’t seem to deter Don from his antics. He moved forward his mouth inches away from my ear. 

“You have to ask nicely.” Don’s lips brushed over the sensitive skin of my jaw. I suppressed a moan by trapping my lip between my teeth. 

“Please. Donald Malarkey, you have me. Now do something about it.” I challenged him. 

A smile formed on his lips but I only saw it for a split second before his lips crashed into mine. I sighed into the kiss as his hands cupped my face pulling me closer to him. My hands roamed around his body, tracing anything I could get my hands on. I didn’t realise how much tension had built from our last kiss, but I needed him so badly it hurt. 

Don swiftly lifted me up, sitting me on the edge of the basin as we continued to kiss. I opened my mouth as our tongues swirled together. It was an addiction, I couldn’t get enough. I needed him closer. I grabbed at the fabric that impeded me from Don. 

I tugged off his jacket, too busy kissing him to see where I threw it. Don’s hand’s did the same pulling the material from my arms tossing the item to the side. I gasped as he pulled me forward, sliding me to the very edge of the bench. Don pressed himself to me, even with pants on I could feel everything. 

“Off, I need this off!” I said breathlessly, pulling at his collar. I helped him tug off the t-shirt, admiring his body lovingly. I raked my fingers down his chest, sliding my hand below his belt. Don shuddered seemingly immobilised as I palmed his front. 

Don snatched my wrist, a wry grin forming on his features, “We have plenty of time for that later.” 

A pout formed on my lips. He moved forward kissing me gently. Unlike before he savoured the kiss. Don’s lips moved over my face, gently placing kisses at the corners of my lips, by the creases of my eyes, my temples and cheeks. His touch was so soft but everytime he moved to a different spot I could still feel the last caress. 

I captured his face in my hands, my thumbs tracing over his features. With each movement I kissed him gently. 

I sighed in pleasure as Don’s hands found the small of my back pulling me even closer. 

“Take it off.” I begged, needing the fabric that separated us to be removed. Don’s finger’s found the hem of my shirt, slowly dragging it up my body. I arched into him, enjoying the feeling of his fingertips brushing on my skin. 

Don threw my top to the side, I didn’t have the patience to be admired just yet, still sporting a bra. I brought his hands around my back to the clasp. 

He made quick work of the fastening. I felt it loosen from my back as he pulled the straps over my shoulders and down my arms.  

I sat half naked watching Don take me in. He blew out a breath, shaking his head slightly. 

“Fucking hell. And you’re all mine.” Don said to himself, I giggled at him. 

“Donald, stop gawking and kiss me.” I said my tone was playful. But I didn’t need to tell him twice. He moved forward pressing us together, his fingers dragged down my exposed back sending shivers up my spine. 

Don’s head dipped down to my neck slowly trailing his lips down my skin. I leaned back enjoying the feeling of his tongue swirling down my body. I gasped when his mouth latched onto the soft flesh of my chest. 

Don’s lips nipped and sucked, finding his way down to my erect nipple. His other hand massaging my other breast as he assaulted my nipple with his mouth. I leaned my head back, mouth open in pleasure, moans and gasps fell from my lips in hasty succession. 

He moved to my other breast giving it the same treatment as the previous. I panted and bucked against him, the feeling of his kisses and hands sending me spiralling. 

“Fuck! Holy fuck.” I groaned watching him enjoy me. The wetness between my legs somehow grew more. I pulled his face back up to mine, needing his lips on my own again. 

My hands snaked down to his pants, trying my best to undo his belt while not being able to see. It was harder than I thought, after a while of fumbling around I finally pulled away to glance down at what I was doing. 

“Desperate?” Donald asked, smirking. I didn’t even deny it, breathlessly nodding my head while still trying to yank the belt from his pants. 

“I have waited far too long for a belt to put a stop to it.” I groaned, still failing at the simple job. 

“You’ve waited, oh my love, you don’t know the half of it.” Donald’s hands found mine, taking over the task. I watched him easily pull the belt free and remove it from his trousers. Don undid the button, loosening them around his hips. I greedily licked my lips moving my hands to his waistband tugging them down. I bit my lip, a shy smile formed on my mouth. 

I couldn’t wait any longer, my own hands unbuttoning my pants and trying my best to shimmy them down while still being perched on the counter. 

“So impatient!” Don tutted, his arms lifting me so I could successfully pull down my clothing. 

I kicked off the green cargo pants, leaving us both in just our underwear. I giggled, somehow the innocent looking in the rooms had gotten out of hand. 

Don kissed me again, his fingers lazily dragging around my body and into my hair. I did the same, tangling my fingers in his and pulling gently. A low moan left his lips as he moved his mouth over mine. The electricity between us was almost palpable, with every touch and sound I could feel the lustful energy flowing through my body. 

I yelped in surprise as Don lifted me so easily from the basin. I didn’t look where he was taking us too busy assaulting his face and neck with kisses. 

We landed gently on the decadent bed, but Don and I were too enraptured in each other to truly appreciate the comfort of the soft mattress and the silk sheets against our skin. 

Don ran his fingers down my side, teasingly stopping around the hem of my underwear. He pulled it back, snapping the waistband against my skin. In the same movement Don dipped his head down, trailing soft kisses down my skin and stopping near my collarbone to nip at the sensitive skin.  

His hand slipped down between my thighs, caressing around my hips. I rocked back, eyes closed in pleasure. I couldn’t stifle the loud moans that fell from my lips. 

I could feel his smirk as he placed more feverish kisses around my navel, his hands roaming around my thighs never quite landing where I needed them too. Don was making me beg for it. 

Don’s touch continued down towards my hips, his lips finding the right spots to make me squirm and bite my lip in desperation. 

“Don.” I pleaded through my pants.  

“Yes my love?” He said with a smirk, as his kisses wandered down, his touch still tantalising and teasing. I could feel Don’s breath against my core, as he continued to run his fingers along my inner thighs.

“Stop teasing me!” I whined. 

Don chuckled at my pleading, looking up at me with a devilish smile. I watched as he bit my inner thigh gently in response. 

“Beg for it.” He said in a low husky voice that was filled with desire. 

“Please Donald, make me feel alive!” I begged, feeling so vulnerable in his arms. 

“I love you.” Don said before he pulled my underwear from my body, taking his time admiring me placing sweet kisses to the soft skin between my legs. I groaned as his mouth found my core, his hot tongue swirling over my bud of nerves. 

I cried out in pleasure as he feasted on me, I gripped onto his hair hanging on for dear life as he shook me to my core. I trembled in ecstasy as Don’s tongue dipped inside of me.   

Don seemed to enjoy seeing me come undone, moaning against my core. His fingers slipped inside of me pulling in and out with force. 

I threw my head back screaming into my free hand that covered my mouth. I arched and bucked against his every move. Don’s free hand pinned me to the bed to stop me from escaping the overwhelming feeling that rippled throughout my body. 

He sucked and nipped at my sensitive core as he worked his fingers in and out of my entrance. 

Bright colours swarmed my vision as I shook, I had reached my climax. I held onto Don, the only thing that seemed to be grounding me to reality. It felt as if I had left my body, floating above the scene that was playing before me. Don did not stop his movements, riding out the orgasm as long as he could. 

My breath left me as I writhed under his touch, I didn’t think that it could last long, but I was still overcome by my euphoric satisfaction.    

Finally he let me come down, pulling away from my core. I caught my breath, eyes still closed trying to come back to the real world, rather than the cloud I was floating on. 

“I think you were trying to kill me.” I panted as Don moved back up to kiss me gently on my lips. 

“What’s more alive than being nearly half dead?” Don chuckled as he lay against me, his fingers tangling into my hair and pulling me towards him. He rested his forehead against mine, our breaths mixing together as we enjoyed the quiet moment. 

I closed my eyes enjoying the simple sounds, his soft breaths fanning on my face, and the quiet heartbeat that pulsed against my own chest. I kissed him again, I kissed him like I would never see him again. 

My hands travelled down his torso, it was my turn to show him how much I loved him. I palmed his hard cock through his underwear. Don groaned into my mouth, keeping his eyes squeezed shut. 

I trailed my kisses down his neck, chest and stomach. Don sighed in pleasure, lying his head back against the bed. Every touch under his hands and the feeling of his skin on mine, I felt the love and desire he had for me, I wanted him to feel the same as I kissed him. I wanted to make him want me more than ever.  

I let my tongue drag down his hips, swirling over the sensitive skin. I needed to drive him insane with desire, like he had me only moments before. 

Tugging down his briefs his hard cock sprung free. I tossed the item of clothing to the side. I bit my lip taking in his size, how he had hidden that from me I had no idea. I wrapped my hand around the base stroking my thumb gently up the shaft. Don shuddered under my grip, groaning huskily. 

Don propped himself up on his elbows and I started slowly moving my hand up and down his length. I licked my lips desperately wanting to taste him. 

“Jesus christ Emily, you’re going to be the death of me.” Don muttered a mix of shock and pleasure on his face. 

I grinned. I continued to stare at him as I moved forward, my tongue darting out to swirl around his tip. His cock twitched in my hand, Don looked as if he was going to pass out. 

“Now who’s teasing?” He leaned forward brushing a curl out of my face. I wrapped my lips around him sucking. Donald inhaled sharply tensing under my touch. I moved further down, bringing more of him into my mouth. Don’s breaths grew uneven as I continued. 

I bobbed my head up and down, taking as much of him as I could into my throat. My hand still gripped the base of his cock moving as I sucked and licked. 

“Oh god!” Donald moaned watching me with lust filled eyes. 

I pulled back sucking in air as I continued to massage his cock with my hand. Don gripped onto the bed sheets panting heavily. His fingers weaved into my hair, gripping just as tightly as he was the fabric under him. I continued my assault, my pace becoming faster. 

“Don’t stop my love.” He begged, he was almost to his limit. I did as he asked, continuing my rhythm. 

“I’m going to cum!” Don whined pulling back from me, but I held his hips steady, looking up at him through my lashes. I wanted to taste him like he tasted me. I didn’t stop, bobbing my head and sucking. I felt his body jolt under me, hot liquid filled my mouth as I watched Don’s eyes roll back in his head.      

“Em.” Don breathed, sitting up from his position and moving down to where I knelt between his legs. His hands cupped my face peppering my skin with light kisses. Don pulled me up to him, as we laid back down against the bed, limbs tangled and bodies entwined. A moment of pure serenity as we embraced each other, basking in the warmth of one another. 

“I love you.” I whispered as we gazed into each other’s eyes. 

“I love you.” Don lips brushed against my skin. 

“Guys we’re leaving!” The door burst open as Babe and George sauntered into the room. Both Don and I screamed in surprise, scrambling to hide ourselves. Don dove over me, covering my body with his. His ass out in the wind for all to see. George and Babe’s eyes bulged seeing their friends bare butt pointing right in their direction. 

“Get out!!” Don screeched, as I hid beneath him trying to contain my fit of giggles.

“Oh my god!” George gasped covering his mouth as Babe stared wide eyed at us. 

“Guys get the fuck out, right now!!” Don demanded the men leave. But it still didn’t work, the pair didn’t budge. 

“What is going on here?” George asked through bouts of laughter he shared with Babe. 

Don grabbed the nearest pillow chucking at the heads of the two men who were crying with laughter. 

“OUT!” Don yelled, but he was trying not to laugh as well. I wrapped my arms around his waist keeping him close to me. Don was the only thing keeping my naked body out of sight of the pair of idiots who howled with laughter in the still wide open door. 

“Fine, we will go. But it’s going to cost you.” George waggled his finger at us as he hauled the still hysterical Babe out of the room. The door clicked shut, as it did so both Don and I sighed in relief. 

“You didn’t lock the door!” I playfully smacked his chest as he grinned down at me. 

“Neither did you!” But we couldn’t stop our own giggles from escaping our lips.

---------------------------------

Chapter 30

[beefromanoff]

Going Under Ch. 26

summary: things reach their peak...in more ways than one.

characters: Bucky Barnes x OC

soundtrack: I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

warnings: fluff, pop star fantasy x love story, set in an AU where the Avengers reunite after Civil War, pre-infinity war, slight angst, hurt/comfort, lonely reader/OC.

author’s note: okay OKAY this is big, and the first of this kind that I've written...so please give me feedback! It took 26 chapters to get here so I hope it was done right! ugh so many emotions, I hope you enjoy!

PS - special love to @charmedbysarge for the love and support, you being invested makes me even more invested and want to get things up even faster! I appreciate you! <3

chapter list

_________________________________________

The training room buzzed with energy.

Two dozen agents practiced hand-to-hand combat, honing their skills just like every week. 

Just like every other week, Gianna sat at the edge of the training room, back against the wall. Her notebook was spread open on her lap. Typically, musings and lyrics poured out of her pen faster than she could write them down. The past few days…quite the opposite. The pages in front of her were completely empty, save for the scrawled doodles in the margins. She sighed, looking up at the noisy room. 

Weaving through the pairs of sparring partners, Bucky paused every so often to provide guidance. His movements were precise and powerful, even when he demonstrated things at half speed for the agents to learn. Watching him had become a familiar routine, one Gianna looked forward to each day. But again, lately, something felt different.

His voice echoing through the cavernous room, Bucky called the agents to gather around, ending the training the same way he always did - with a few sparring sessions of his own. Agent Allison, the one who infamously had the hots for him, practically leapt to the front of the crowd, volunteering to go first. 

In the weeks since she’d been at the compound, it had become common knowledge that Gianna and Bucky were very much together. There was a strict no-media protocol on the compound, with everyone who entered having to sign an airtight NDA. The precautions were for keeping much greater secrets, but it definitely made for a much more private relationship while they stayed here. Even if the agents saw Bucky shove Gianna up against this exact wall in the training room (not that she’d ever daydreamt about it), they couldn’t say a word, take a photo, nothing. 

Most of the agents had healthy discretion, acknowledging the high-profile relationship existed without making it a thing. Gianna guessed that after months of watching the Black Widow and Captain America with their ongoing will-they-won’t-they thing, the agents had become desensitized to the outlandish things they saw at work. It wasn’t like they could go home, hit happy hour with their friends, and talk about how they’d spent the day sparring with the Winter Soldier. 

Although if anyone were to try and boast about it…Gianna knew it would be Agent Allison. She narrowed her eyes, watching them. 

Bucky’s every move was calculated, his strikes sharp and unforgiving. His face remained blank, clearly nowhere close to his full exertion. As much as Gianna hated to admit it, Agent Allison was skilled in her own right. She fought valiantly, no doubt showing off, but he made quick work of the round. Bucky swiftly disarmed her and, with a controlled motion, sent her to the mat. The thud echoed through the room as she landed on her back. Gianna bit the tip of her pen to disguise the grin that threatened to play across her face. 

No sooner had she reprimanded herself for being so satisfied with the agent’s defeat did another thought cross her mind.

The way Bucky had sparred with her, and every other female agent, was the exact same as he sparred with the men. He held back, naturally, but he definitely didn’t take it easy on them. He let himself beat them, quickly. He hit them, hard. He didn’t treat them like they were breakable. 

It bothered her, not at all because of his sheer strength, but because of the contrast between his approach with her and with the agents. The memory of his protective outburst at the lake just a few days ago resurfaced, muddled with the image of him throwing Agent Allison to the floor just a moment ago.

Goddammit, Gianna. Don’t make something out of nothing. He’s obviously not going to treat you like a combat trained field agent with years of experience. You’re manufacturing conflict. 

She shook her head to clear it, but couldn't shake the knot that had formed in her stomach. 

________________________________________________________

“Oh, Lordy, something smells good in here!” Sam announced his presence in the kitchen as Gianna stirred a pot on the stove. 

“Once, just once, could you enter a room quietly?” Bucky scowled from his seat at the kitchen island, keeping her company while she worked. 

“Yow, somebody’s hangry.”

“Make yourself useful,” Wanda thrust a stack of plates into Sam’s hands. “Set the table, don’t forget forks go on the left!” 

“Yeah, yeah, not my fault y’all treat every dinner like the Queen’s joining us.” He rolled his eyes but obliged. 

Even after the weeks she’d been at the compound, their dinner tradition hadn’t faded. Almost every night, Gianna and Wanda would cook for whichever variation of the team was there. They’d eat at the table, sit and talk for way too long, and then tackle the dishes before going their separate ways. Everyone teased the girls for their commitment to the new tradition, but it was clear that not one person wanted to give up the wholesome family atmosphere it brought. 

“Oh, I left the pie in the fridge downstairs. I’ll be right back.” Wanda disappeared around the corner, leaving Gianna and Bucky alone in the kitchen. 

“Have I told you lately how pretty you are?” He cocked his head to the side as he stood and rounded the island. 

“Hmm…” Gianna pretended to think. “Would half an hour ago be considered ‘lately’?”

“Absolutely not.” He caught her wrist and pulled her close, wrapping his hands around her waist. 

“Bucky,” She giggled between kisses, her face still flushing at his adoration. 

“What?” He grinned and moved his hands up to her cheeks, kissing her slowly. She melted into him, only being brought back to reality by the oven timer dinging. 

“As much as I’d like to keep this going, I didn’t spend two hours slaving away just to burn a whole lasagna.” She stood on her tiptoes and gave him one last kiss on his prickly jawline. “Not a full stop, just a pause.” 

As Gianna rifled through the kitchen drawers, the oven timer kept dinging. “Ugh, if Wanda moves the oven mitts one more time…” She heard the oven open behind her and turned to see Bucky grab the casserole dish with his left hand, depositing it on the stove. He must have heard her gasp, turning to grin. 

“It’s multipurpose.” He wiggled his vibranium fingers at her, unphased. 

“That’s the true hero work,” She winked. “Now go sit down, play nice with Sam.” 

He groaned but turned to head for the dining room. Waiting for the lasagna to settle, she looked around for what was missing. Glasses. Of course, the only clean ones left were on the very top shelf. She climbed onto the counter, putting a knee on the smooth marble and pulling herself up by the open cabinet door. 

“Sam forgot napkins, hey, what are you doing?” Bucky frowned as he walked back in. 

“All the other cups are in the dishwasher. Here,” She passed two glasses down to him. 

“I could have gotten those for you.” 

“No need,” She handed him the last two and scrambled down. “I’m resourceful.” 

“You could have fallen, hit your head, stepped on the hot stove…” 

“But I didn’t.” 

“But,” 

“Buck,” She interrupted him. “I’m fine.” 

He paused for a moment, brows still knit together, but took the glasses into the other room without another word. 

________________________________________________________

“I don’t think I can eat again for a week.” Bucky groaned as he laid back onto the bed. 

“I’ve heard that before.” She grinned as she unfastened her earrings, setting them on the nightstand. “Yet you always seem to have a change of heart around breakfast.” 

“I’m weak for pancakes.” 

“You seem to have a few more weaknesses than that.” She purred, climbing onto his lap.

“That doesn’t sound like me.” He smirked and propped himself on his elbows. Gianna ignored him, running her fingers along his jawline. 

“If I recall,” She slid her hands under the hem of his sweatshirt, hands cold against his warm body. “We have unfinished business.” 

Bucky sat up, putting his hand on the small of Gianna’s back to keep her steady as he shifted beneath her. “That…” He kissed her, soft and slow. “We do.” 

They hadn’t discussed what happened after the lake. When she’d quite literally laid herself bare and he left the room. She tried to tell herself he meant what he said, he felt gross from his mission and wanted to shower. She knew he wanted to ‘take things slow’ - but what did that mean? They’d been…whatever they were, officially, for weeks now. He slept in her bed almost every night. He kissed her in front of God and everybody. He’d shared his most intimate thoughts with her by revealing his journals. 

But every time she tried to push things just a little further…he’d stop. He’d shift the tone to sweet, playing with her hair until she fell asleep or tracing circles on the small of her back. It was kind, gentle, honorable. At this point, however, she’d had her fill of kind, gentle, and honorable. 

Gianna pulled back from his lips, raising her arms above her head. Their eyes locked as his hands slid up her back, the fabric of her shirt rising with it. Slowly, tenderly, he lifted it over her head and let her tousled hair tumble down her back. After letting his gaze drift over her for a moment, soaking up the delicate lace of her bra, she tugged his shirt over his head. Their warm chests pressed together as she wrapped her hand around his neck and kissed him again, tongue parting his lips immediately. 

His grip tightened around her back as the kiss intensified, her hands tangled in his hair. Feeling especially impatient, Gianna slid off of his lap, her bare feet landing in the carpet between his knees. She pulled back from his lips, eyes hungry, and gently shoved his bare chest to push him back to the bed. He complied without protesting, watching her every move. 

Her hands drifted to his hips, tugging on the drawstring of his sweatpants. Bucky’s eyes darkened. When the knot came undone in her delicate grip, she slipped her fingers inside the waistband and tugged them down, leaving them in a discarded heap on the floor. 

Gianna rose, pausing only for a minute, to look over him sitting in his boxers. The muscles of his abdomen were taught even as he laid back on his elbows. His dark hair had the oh-so-familiar evidence of her hands having run through it. His jaw was clenched, blue eyes raking over her body. 

God, he’s pretty. 

Afraid of waiting any longer, she climbed back onto his lap, his hands meeting her hips in a desperate, greedy grip. Their lips crashed together as he rolled over on top of her. Gianna gasped into their kiss as his hips pressed against hers, his desire more than evident. 

Suddenly, tragically, infuriatingly…he tore himself from her and stood, out of breath. 

“I, we can’t.” He didn’t meet her eyes. 

“Why?” Gianna cried out, unable to contain her frustration. Bucky turned his back to her, walking around the room. “Bucky, look at me!” 

Slowly, he approached the bed, staying out of arms’ reach. He still didn’t look at her. 

“Bucky…” 

“I told you…” 

“No, you told me you can’t. You told me you want to do this right, but you won’t tell me why or when the right time is! For God’s sake, I am throwing myself at you, and you’re walking away from me,” Her voice cracked at the end and he looked up with guilt-ridden eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” He reached out to cup her cheek but she caught his hand. 

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to want me.” 

“Gianna…” Bucky dropped to his knees in front of the bed. “This isn’t about me wanting you…that has never, ever been a problem.” 

“Then what is the problem?” 

His blue eyes looked back and forth between hers. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“God, Bucky, I’m not made of glass!” She climbed off of the bed, throwing her hands in the air. “Why do you treat me like I’m breakable! You freaked out when I was just having fun, doing the same thing as everyone else, you didn’t even like when I climbed on the counter to get a dish from the cabinet, and I know you made Peter come with us to New York because you were afraid I wouldn’t be safe enough with just Wanda.” Her eyes narrowed. “You have always protected me, always kept me safe, but it’s like that’s all you want to do!” 

His eyes were torn, it took everything in her not to rush to comfort him with the heart-wrenching look he had on his face. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He repeated, his voice coming out as a growl.

“You don’t have to worry about hurting me -” 

“I have to worry about hurting everyone.” He hissed, angry at the reality and angry it had led to this when all he wanted was to give in. “Especially you.”

“You don’t treat me like the others, the way you threw Agent Allison on the ground today,” Gianna paused, steeling herself, furious that she even had to mention that woman in her own bedroom. “Do you…think I’m weak? Do you think I can’t handle myself?” 

“No, Gianna,” He crossed the room in two steps and cupped her face. “That’s not it at all. You are…easily one of the strongest women, strongest people I’ve ever met. You’ve been through more than anyone should have to endure and you’ve done most of it alone.” He searched her eyes. “It’s not that I think you can’t handle things…it’s that I don’t think you should have to. I…I want better for you. I want to give you what you deserve, keep everything bad away.” 

Her face softened as his desperate words. “I don’t need everything bad to be kept away. I just need to keep the good close.” She tucked a dark strand behind his ear. “I just can’t seem to get close enough.” 

Bucky’s thumbs brushed her cheeks, the conflict in his mind almost palpable. “I…I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Her brows knit together, watching the anguish on his face. “How would you -”

“I don’t trust myself.” His voice was strained. “With how I feel about you, what I want…” 

“But I trust you.” She tilted his chin to look back at her. “What about what I want?”

Gianna took a step back. The number of days she’d worn matching lacy undergarments, just hoping it would be the night he’d take them off of her…she’d lost count. Tonight, standing before him in the delicate, lacy blue set, the one that reminded her of his eyes when she picked it out in the store…she didn’t think she had enough patience to hope for another day. 

“Bucky…” She breathed. “Ask me what I want.” 

His eyes slowly, painfully, rose to meet hers. His breathing was labored. He was losing the battle with himself. 

“What…do you want?” 

“I want you to stop worrying.” 

She stroked his cheek. 

“I want you to know you make me feel safer than I ever have, in my life.” 

She held his metal hand in hers, kissing his knuckles. 

“I want you to appreciate this stupid lingerie I picked out specifically for you.”

She took two slow, deliberate steps backwards, letting his eyes trail over her. 

“I want you to stop acting like I’m breakable and throw me on this bed like I’ve been dreaming about for months.”

“Gianna,” His voice was a low warning, all his restraint about to break. 

“I want you to fuck me.” 

Half a second. 

That’s how long he hesitated before he snapped. In two strides, he crossed the room, never breaking eye contact with her. Before she could process, he’d picked her up, one hand supporting her and one hand gripping her cheek like his life depended on it. He kissed her harder, hungrier than he ever had before. Moving his hand away from her face for a split second, he reached around her back and ripped the clasp off of her bra. Without setting her down, he climbed onto the bed, still holding her to his body as he supported them both with his other arm. 

He ran his tongue along her lower lip, moaning into her mouth. With a deep kiss, he deposited her onto the bed, rising up on his knees. Gianna let out a small whine as he pulled away but was quickly silenced by the look in his eyes. He reached down and took the delicate lace of her bra between his fingers, lifting it off of her body with ease, thanks to the mangled clasp somewhere across the room. He set it to the side and ran his hands across her collarbone, tracing the outline of her breasts, before trailing his hands down to her hips. A trail of fire lit Gianna’s skin everywhere he touched her. 

Bucky traced the lace design, committing the image to memory. In one swift movement, completely contradictory to the gentle way he touched her, he grabbed them and yanked. The lace ripped with ease and he tossed the ruined material to the side. 

“Fuck.” 

Gianna sucked in a breath, the sight of him looking at her so lustfully making it suddenly hard to breathe, to think at all. “Please,”  She pleaded. 

He didn’t make her wait. In a second, his boxers were ripped and discarded right next to her panties. He was on her, arms caging her in on the mattress. He surrounded her. All she could see were piercing blue eyes, inky black hair hanging down over her, silver vibranium glinting in the moonlight. He filled her senses. He burrowed into the crook of her neck, kissing her collarbone, nipping at the delicate skin below her ear. She moaned, fingers running up his back. 

His hand cupped her jaw, giving her a long, wet kiss before pulling back. His thumb ran across her lower lip, not able to fully let go but needing to put his mouth on the rest of her. He kissed, nibbled, bit what felt like every inch of her neck, chest, stomach. Gianna squirmed, urging him back up, but he caught her hips in an unyielding grip and held her still as he continued. 

Bucky slid off the edge of the bed, again kneeling on the floor beside it. Still holding her hips, he yanked her to the edge of the bed, parting her legs around his face. His eyes met hers as he sank out of her view, draping her legs lazily over his shoulders. The gleam in his eye when he tasted her was almost predatory. Though she couldn’t see his face, Gianna knew, could feel that he was smirking. She threw her head back as a moan escaped her, bucking her hips against his face. Again, he gripped her waist and pinned her down, ensuring she wouldn’t move before his left hand disappeared. A cold, vibranium finger slid inside of her, moving at a tantalizing pace. 

She couldn’t tell if it was ten seconds or ten minutes that he stayed between her legs, time passed differently with that kind of ecstasy. Before she knew it, everything that had been building up since she first saw him, saw those blue eyes and the muscles through the back of his t-shirts…all of it coiled inside of her until she couldn’t take it anymore. Her secret, lust-filled daydreams mixed with all the memories of his face swirled through her mind as she cried out, her legs wrapped around his shoulders. The grip he had on her waist with his right hand was sure to leave a mark, but it was nowhere near her mind at that moment. Her eyes flew open, arching her back, and the last thing she saw as she came undone was that tousled black hair between her legs. 

Gianna fell apart in his hands, quivering as the waves of pleasure slowly subsided. Far from satiated, Bucky slowly pulled back, kissing the insides of her thighs as he did. The way they trembled in his hands made him even more feral, made him need her even more. 

He slid his hand under her back and moved her to the middle of the bed, climbing on top of her. Her eyes were dazed, looking up at him like he was the sun, the moon, and all the stars. Using his legs, Bucky nudged hers open and settled between them, ready to finish what they started. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, tasting the thinnest sheen of sweat across her brow. 

“Are you sure?” 

She looked up at him with those big green eyes. Wordlessly, her hands snaked down to grab his hips, pulling him towards her. He moved slowly, watching her face for any kind of discomfort as he pushed into her for the first time. With a soft whimper, her eyes rolled beneath her lids, head falling back to the mattress. Bucky bit his lip, commanding himself to take it slow. More impatient than him, Gianna’s legs wrapped around his waist and locked, pulling him deep inside of her. Their moans mixed together as he paused, fully entwined with her. 

He could smell her, feel her, taste her…she was everywhere. She was everything. 

After a moment of letting her adjust, Bucky kissed Gianna, so gently she had to open her eyes and make sure it was real. There was a moment of overwhelming, intoxicating warmth that flooded her as his eyes opened and met hers. They paused, pressing their foreheads together and breathing the same breath. 

“Move,” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but a command nonetheless. 

So he did. 

Pulling back and thrusting into her, he picked up in pace and force until the room was a hurricane of sweat, moans, and the sound of skin on skin. Gianna heard herself cry out his name, but it felt otherworldly. Nothing was real to her except the feeling of him, of James Buchanan Barnes, inside of her. 

When he fell apart, it was the most delicious sight she’d ever seen. His eyes rolled, he threw his head back, his mouth opened to let out a low moan as every muscle in his beautiful body tensed. 

They laid there for another undefined amount of time, limbs tangled, sweat mingled, hearts pounding. Bucky’s arms cradled her head as he laid his on her chest, soothed by the rise and fall of her breathing. 

“Bucky?” 

He lifted his head, stroking her hair off of her cheek. 

“I want this, all of this. Always.” 

His lopsided smile spread across his face. “That good, huh?”

“Bucky,” She nudged him. “I’m serious.”

“Gianna…” He propped himself up and traced her hairline, her ear, her jaw. “I couldn’t even resist you when all I had was the idea of you. Now that I know you, now that…I can never go back to a life without you.” 

She bit her lip to keep the goofy, giddy smile from breaking through. Having heard what she wanted, she pulled herself out from under him and padded over to the oversized tub in the corner.

“For the record,” Gianna grinned as she turned on the hot water. “It most definitely was that good, and you better actually join me this time.” 

Bucky rolled off the bed, grinning right back. “Don’t have to ask me twice.”

[thebikles]

I worked so hard on this playlist enjoy

I wrote up a little explanation for most of the songs instead of actually writing fan fiction:

From Eden - Hozier 

This one’s pretty self explanatory the whole song works so well for them 

“Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know / I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door” always gets me 

I love how we have yet to actually learn about the details of Crowley’s fall - it’s this negative space holds so much weight in the narrative 

while Crowley’s lines about ‘hanging out with the wrong people’ and ‘sauntering vaguely downward’ are quite funny they seems like a defensive sort of nonchalance 

Does he perhaps?? Have TRUAMA????

I have this fic idea where in season 3 Azirphale finds the file on Crowley’s fall and THAT’S when he snaps and finally accepts that the system really is bullshit 

Also the line “Honey you’re familiar like my mirror years ago” reminds me of the tableau of them on the gates of Eden in the very first episode 

Too Sweet - Hozier 

Another fandom classic 

I like to envision it in Crowley’s voice in a ‘the lady doth protest too much’ kind of way 

Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground 

A BAND CROWLEY CANNONICALLY LISTENS TO 

This shit kills me: 

“Thought of you as my mountaintop

Thought of you as my peak

Thought of you as everything

I've had, but couldn't keep”

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine 

I imagine this one as Crowley re-inventing himself after he falls (also I just really like this song and wanted to fit it in somehow) 

“And I am done with my graceless heart / So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart” —> a juicy unreliable narrator: Crowley WISHES he didn’t give a fuck but to quote David Tennant, “actually his problem is (...) there’s a bit too much heart really” 

Also the line “damned if I do and damned if I don’t” isn’t particularly groundbreaking lyricism but it gets at Crowley precarious position of having to perform the aesthetics of evil while hoping that nobody notices as he helps people where he can 

that aspect of his character really gets to me

Something about getting consistently punished for doing the kind thing and compulsively doing it anyway - particularly that scene in season 2 where he talks that girl down from killing herself and is immediately dragged to hell for it - a wild thing to include in a show billed as a comedy by the way 

Stuck in the Middle With You - Stealers Wheel 

I just love unlikely friendship stories I don’t know what to tell you man 

As the World Caves In - Matt Maltese 

One of my favorite songs just in general 

Very somber - but also evokes Pratchett and Gaiman’s irreverent story telling style 

 “We’re gonna nuke eachother up boys till old Satan stands impressed” 100% sounds like something Crowley would say 

A delicious sense of exasperation in both of these songs like “ugh we’re going to fall hopelessly in love what a terrible inconvenience” 

Also extreme circumstances forcing prickly characters to rely on one another?!!?? I can’t get enough

What to Make of You - Olive Klug 

A great song if you’re into indie folk 

I really love the line “I thought I was immune to this kind of pining / but it lends itself too well to aimless driving” for Crowley 

The chorus too: “I know that you don’t know what to make of me” 

There’s a compelling resignation to that line made even more poignant by the ending of season 2 

This subtle reference the cognitive dissonance Aziraphale lives with: ignoring his own moral compass in favor of what his bosses are telling him to do because he can’t quite give up his identity and security of being one of the ‘Good Guys’ 

Obviously Crowley loves asking uncomfortable questions but I like  that this chorus implies a slight exhaustion with his role as the thorn in Aziriphale’s side because of course Crowley wants so much more than that…!!!

Puttin’ on the Ritz 

No angst in this one just Aziriphale having a grand old time in the 1920s 

It Will Come Back - Hozier 

More evidence contributing to the headcannon that Crowley spilled his sad drunk  heart out to Hozier one night at a bar - we already know he canonically inspired Shakespeare lines 

“Don’t let me in with no intention to keep me / Jesus Christ don’t be kind to me / Honey, don’t feed me, I will come back” 

Really reminds me of that scene at the satanic nunnery turned corporate retreat center in season 1 episode two: 

“Shut it - I’m a demon, I'm not nice!” 

Also I love how Crowley, despite all his aloof affectations, is always the one taking emotional risks - asking Aziriphale to run away with him to Alpha Centauri and of course the end of Season 2 - there’s this hint of desperation to him that I just can’t get enough of 

“You don’t understand you should never know / how easy you are to need” UGH the YEARNING 

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen 

I mean - come on. 

I really wish they had played this song durring a more significant scene in season 2 but you can’t have everything 

Or like a montage of Crowley getting ready to leave the house making sure his hair is perfectly greased would have been delectable 

Somethin’ Stupid - Frank Sinatra 

“Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you” 

I really need to write a fic inspired by this song 

Love Crowley being deeply frustrated with what a sap he’s become

Once A Bunch - Adrienne Lenker 

I mainly chose this song because of this line “Half a margarita, have a little dance / Let's fine dine the demons and give peace a chance” 

There’s something deeply appealing to me about their dinner dates idk 

Also these lines in Aziraphale’s voice 

“I pulled you in, I pushed you out right from the start” (a reference to that scene in season 1, ‘you go too fast for me Crowley’) “I was leaving before I'd arrived” (something about Aziraphale always conceptualizing their relationship as a doomed one - but  as we learned from the Beezlebub/Gabriel plotline NOTHING WAS STOPPING THEM FROM BEING VULNERABLE WITH ONE ANOTHER THIS ENTIRE TIME) 

 “your eyes magnetic, that moldavite flame / Stopping the traffic, all six lanes” (Crowley’s snake eyes , his 90 miles an hour  in central london - anyways) “Calling me baby, barely saying my name /I was leaving before I'd arrived”  something about how they skate the line between plausible denability so finely - playing a game of gay chicken for thousands of years 

 That line reminds me one from the song Middle Cyclone, which is also in this list “it was so clear to me, it was almost invisible” 

“We're a team, a group. Group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't.” - I copy pasted this line from the transcripts online and immediately teared up this show has me in a CHOKEHOLD 

I, Carrion, (Icarion) - Hozier 

Speaking of breaking down in tears 

I listen to a lot of sad music but I always have to skip this song on my playlist if I’m not ready to stare into the middle distance for a good fifteen minutes 

“And though I burn, how could I fall? / When I am lifted by every word you say to me?” alskdjfals;dkfja;s

“Once I had wondered what was holding up the ground / but I can see that all along love, it was you all the way down” – Aziraphale as the thing that keeps Crowley from being entirely cynical about the world 

Also the chord change on “I do not have wings, love I never will” (!!!!!!) as a reference to the end of season 2, Crowley refusing Aziraphale’s offer to become an angel again - but here its sung in a really sweet kind of resignation

Also I love the poetry of this song “If the wind turns / if I hit a squall / allow the ground to find its brutal way to me” the pleasing inversion: the idea of the earth as the thing moving as opposed to Icarus, and the word brutal wedged into the almost twee line ‘find its way to me’...

“if I should fall, on that day / I only pray / don’t fall away from me” hhhhhhhhh

This could be in either of their voices but I do have a particular weakness for Aziraphale-becoming-a-demon-after-the-end-of-season-one fanfics 

Take on Me - a-ha 

I’ve heard this song countless times but I never really listened to the lyrics… 

There’s something about the lines “take on me / take me on” not the kind of lyricism you usually get from a pop song about a crush 

Like yeah relationships ARE an emotional committment and that’s okay! I like how the speaker doesn’t dance around the idea of love as something you have to work for or that they themselves might be burdensome at times- they in fact embrace it 

Really reminds me of the musical Company the way she sings in the finale with these epic yearning major chords “someone to crowd you with love / someone to force you to care / someone to make you come through / who’ll always be there” 

What does this have to do with Good Omens you ask? Idk man something about Crowley knowing full well that being together would be difficult and wanting it badly anyway 

“It’s no better to be safe than sorry” 

Perfect Day 

Aziraphale and Crowley sample fine wines throughout history!!!

“Just a perfect day, drink sangria in the park / and then later when it gets dark, we go home (...) oh it’s such a perfect day / I’m glad I spend it with you / it’s such a perfect day / you just keep me hanging on” 

I love how simple the lyrics are in this one I think it’s the same reason why that image of Crowley sheltering under Aziraphale’s wing is so appealing 

“Just a perfect day, you made me forget myself / I thought I was someone else, someone good” owww

Hide - Rainbow Kitten Surprise 

A song about being closeted so it works pretty damn well for Aziraphale 

I love this line: 

“I got some radio wires soldered to my heart / you’re the only thing that’s coming in / I’m getting static from my better sense / nothing on the FM” 

Also I like the dithering rhythm of these lines, feels like something Aziraphale would say “I hate you more than I miss you / that’s not true, I’d hate to miss you (...) you don’t call, you don’t write / you know I’ve been up for 40 days and 40 nights / and all my fears have multiplied / by the silence in your eyes” 

Their fight after Aziraphale refuses to give him the holy water…. 

Nobody - Hozier 

MORE HOZIER 

“I once warmed my hands / over a burning Maserati” is such a badass line and so good for Crowley 

Also the list of all the wild things he’s done always followed up by “but I’ve had no love like your love / from nobody” works really well since they’re both immortal 

“I’d be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint / I wouldn’t fall for someone / I thought couldn’t misbehave” harrowing flashbacks to the end of season 2

News from Heaven - Runrig 

Something something Crowley forgetting to be bitter for a moment 

(I mostly just love this song) 

Crystal - Katy Kirby 

Okay this actually is my favorite song at the moment 

Really helps when I’m feeling OCD 

And I love it as a representation of their moral/philosophical debates throughout history 

“You’re biting down on gold again / you’re grinding pearls against your teeth / spare me your obsession with that incorruptibility / The rhinestones on your baseball cap reminding me of when / the salt left crystal on the sunset of your sunburned skin” 

FUCKING POETRY (of course it requires a bit of suspension of disbelief since Aziraphale would never wear a baseball cap but the sentiment still stands) 

Also the repetition of “why wouldn’t that be enough” ow he’s really trying so hard 

Origin of Love - Mika 

“Love is a drug and you are my cigarette / love is addiction and you are my nicorette” Crowley trying to make their dates at the Ritz suuuuuper demonic 

A bit cheesy lyricsm but I love this song it’s really sweet and such a bop 

I think I read this in a fic somewhere - Crowley being pissed at Heaven on Aziraphale’s behalf, something along the lines of “he’s the best of them and they don’t deserve him!” 

Something about humanity and something about how genuine kindness doesn’t need all these self justifications 

Or - sometimes going on a lunch date with your best friend is so much holier than a fucking cathedral 

The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields 

In a very similar vein if you read the song as an allegory to the Bible 

Bloodless - Andrew Bird 

Aziraphale having DOUBTS 

“I’m keeping mine with the altursits / putting my weight behind the dancer” (idk something about Aziraphale hanging out with Oscar Wilde)  “ I know it’s hard to be an optimist / when you trust least the ones who claim to have the answer / it’s an uncivil war” 

“Turn around and quote a well known psalm / don’t you worry bout the wicked? / don’t you envy those who do wrong?”

I like the double meaning of that line - if could either be read as a command or a question.

Into My Arms - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Flood 

Absolute smaltz city I  have no excuses 

“I don’t believe in an interventionist God / But I know darling that you do / but if I did I would kneel down and ask him / not to intervene when it came to you / will not touch a hair on your head / leave you as you are / if he felt he had to direct you / then direct you into my arms” 

I mean 

Fuck man. 

Thinking about the scene when Crowley finds the burning bookshop 

Paul - Big Thief 

I listened to this song thinking about Them and it *did* ruin me.

The whole song works really well I think so I won’t write out all the lyrics 

But for some reasons these lines in Crowley’s voice really killed me: 

“I'll be a real tough cookie with the whiskey breath

I'll be a killer and a thriller and the 'cause of our death”

It’s so resigned in the context of the song - I think that Crowley is very aware that he’s playing a role - and he does it with great flair and makes it his own, but it’s still limiting. CAUSE UNDER THOSE 15 LAYERS OF SPITE HE’S AN ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART. 

“We were just two moonshiners on the cusp of a breath

And I've been burning for you, baby, since the moment I left”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crazy. 

“But I'll push you from my brain

See, you're gentle baby

I couldn't stay, I'd only bring you pain”

I don’t tend to read fics that interpret Crowley as insecure about being a demon that doesn’t seem in character to me - but this line GETS ME. I guess I don’t even read it here as insecurity so much as Crowley’s awareness that they can’t get too reckless with their ‘fraternization’ lest he get Aziraphale in trouble 

No Big Deal (I Love You) -dodie 

I knew I had to find a dodie song for them and I knew it was going to be devastating and I was right 

“I don’t mind, say ‘I care, you’re the best’ / yeah you hold me like it’s already said / I don’t mind, I will do this dance / for the rest of my life, for as long as you want” hhhhhh

“On a Sunday, we’re together / god I love you, says not one of us ever / in the half light, where you tease me / god I love you would be far too easy (...) look at me like that hold your breath ‘cause we’re good / it’s no big deal” 

I don’t know what kind of analysis to do with this it just really reads like fucking angsty good Omens fan ficiton 

Something about Crowley’s nonchalance as an affectation 

Someone about the way that Micheal Sheen chooses to play Aziraphale - his eyes are SHINING, all the time 

Really reminds me of the scene in season 2 when Aziraphale’s so excited for them to dance together 

Middle Cyclone - Neko Case 

“Did someone make a fool of me / ‘fore I could show ‘em how it’s done” yeah 6,000 years of pining is pretty foolish 

Also reminds me of the Maggie and Nina's intervention

“I can’t give up acting tough / it’s all that I’m made of / can’t scrape together quite enough / to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love” 

THEY’RE SO REPRESSED I’M OBSESSED also side note I love how the plot line with Gabriel and Beelzebub reveals that THEY TOTALLY COULD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER THIS ENTIRE TIME 

Like yeah Heaven and Hell are still barriers but a good chunk of the actual conflict is that they’re two deeply stubborn individuals who are bad at feelings 

“It was so clear to me / that it was almost invisible” (!!!!) “I lie across the path waiting / just for a chance to be / a spider web trapped in your lashes / for that I would trade you my empire for ashes / but I choke it back, how much I need love” 

Anyways. Feeling super duper normal. 

Real Estate - Adam Melchor 

Idk man I’ve just loved this song forever 

Season 2 Crowley shooting his shot I’m sure it’s going to go really well for him 

“I’m running out of real estate” (literally he’s living in his car) “tryna make all the right moves / I don’t wanna hesitate / I would bet the house on you” 

Cue flashbacks of Crowley hanging around the bookshop all the time 

There’s something so earnest about this song and about Crowley’s speech MY GOD I feel like I need compensation from David Tennant for the emotional damage 

Love is an Accident - Flyte

Oooooo bitter Crowley 

And honestly Azirphale this entire show - I’ll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die

This whole song works so well 

“‘Cause love is an accident waiting to happen / to me and to you / so bite your lip and hold your tongue / and be so careful what you say / play the beat with muffled drum” 

I love this line in particular and the accompanying chord change “So don’t you play that awful song / the one that cannot be unheard”  for the end of season 2 

Something To Beleive in - Madison Cunningham 

One of my favorite Aziriphale/Crowley songs 

Works as a great character study for Aziriphale, though also sung in Crowley’s voice: “you want something constant / and you want something sure / something you can hold / something secure (...) If you need something to believe in / you can believe in my love” 

‘I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can. Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic.’

“Well, I’ve spent my life looking / for a truth I can bear / but kingdoms are just sand / and a throne is just a chair (...) I’ve needed someone to believe in / can I believe in your love?” 

I know that this story (especially the book) starts out as a comedy and we’re meant to read Crowley as perfectly fine with being a demon when we meet him on the Gates of Eden 

But you can pry the headcannon out my cold dead hands that Crowley feels incredibly lost after his fall and that Aziraphale is the first one to be nice to him and treat him like a person 

Afraid of Heights - boygenius 

So proud of how devastating this is 

from Aziraphale’s perspective during their fight at the end of season 2

“’Cause one man’s dream is another man’s death / I remember when you told me that / didn’t know what to say so I just laughed / but now I know it’s not funny” a;sldkfjal;sdkjfaskl

Another reference to their debates throughout history - the last line feels so in character for Aziraphale 

“I know I was a disappointment / know you wanted me to take a risk / not everybody gets the chance to live / a life that isn’t dangerous” Crowley’s in pain because he feels he has nothing to lose and Aziraphale’s in pain because he feels he has EVERYTHING to lose. hhhhhhh

 “ you called me a crybaby / but you’re the one who got teary / telling me what to believe” again I love when roles are reversed and inverted - Aziraphale is supposed to be the soft and tenderhearted one, but Crowley is always the one making himself vulnerable 

“how we’re stuck in entropy / how it hurts to hope / how it hurts to hope for more / how it hurts to hope the future could be better than before” 

I love this line - I think it’s slightly biased coming from Aziraphale in this moment - he thinks Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven because he’s stubborn and cynical (which to be fair, he is) but Aziraphale’s always been shielded from how cruel Heaven can actually be - he never saw (or didn’t want to see?) Crowley’s fall, he never saw Gabriel try to kill him 

But at the same time - I don’t blame Aziraphale  for accepting the position as archangel - he knows to some extent that he’s walking into a rigged playing field, but if there’s even a chance he could save the world then of course he’s going to take it 

God I love flawed characters god I love conflicts where everybody’s wrong and everybody’s right 

You Don’t Have to You Love Me - Dusty Springfield 

This appears on the official Amazon Prime Good Omens playlist (It plays very faintly in the background during one of the scenes in Maggie’s shop I’m pretty sure) 

And I know this isn’t a queerbaited show but I was still like “they’re allowed to do that??” 

I love the DRAMA of this song 

There’s this tragic bargaining in the lyrics

“You don’t have to say you love me just be close at hand / you don’t have to say forever / I will understand” 

But I also always imagine the “I will understand” sung with the utmost venom and sarcasm 

Bitter Crowley my beloved 

All My Little Words - The Magnetic Fields

I have so many songs for the end of season 2 that shit did something to me

“But I could never make you stay / Not for all the tea in China / Not if I could sing like a bird / Not for all North Carolina / Not for all my little words” 

Something about how their love for the world is what brought them together, but it’s also the reason why Aziraphale feels like he has to leave

Good Luck, Babe! - Chappell Roan 

I think that Crowley would slay in all of her outfits

Also if he’s crying to this song at the bar then that’s nobody’s business 

“IT’S FINE, IT’S COOL / YOU CAN SAY THAT WE’RE NOTHING BUT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH” 

It’s Over Isn’t It? - Steven Universe, Deedee Mango Hall 

Verging into speculative season 3 territory 

SAD CROWLEY 

This song works so well - it feels very musical theater to me (I should really get around to watching Steven Universe) 

I’m sure that the original song was about a romantic rival but I love how in the context of Good Omens the ‘you’ being referred to is GOD - the tragedy of it all that was never a battle that Crowley could win but he tried so hard anyway 

“It's over, isn't it? / Isn't it? / Isn't it over? / You won, and she chose you / And she loved you and she's gone / It's over, isn't it? / Why can't I move on?” (that haunting last image of Crowley standing by the Bentley sunglasses back on because he tried being vulnerable that didn’t work) 

“War and glory, reinvention / Fusion, freedom, her attention / Out in daylight, my potential / Bold, precise, experimental / Who am I now in this world without her? / Petty and dull, with the nerve to doubt her / What does it matter? It's already done”

It’s so villain monologue I love it 

Promise - Laufey 

Finally a song from Aziraphale’s perspective I’m sorry I’m very biased 

I will basically end up writing the lyrics to this entire song but it’s IMPORTANT for the LORE

“I made a promise / to distance myself / took a flight, through aurora skies” (reference to heaven?? woah)  “honestly, I didn’t think about / how we didn’t say goodbye (...)” ouch they DIDN’T say goodbye did they! “it hurts to be something / it’s worse to be nothing / with you” 

Aziraphale holding back tears in that last scene???? Hhhhhhh I love these actors they should win all the awards 

“So I didn’t call you / for 16 long days / and I should get cigarette / for so much restraint” 

The image of a worn out, maudlin Aziraphale sneaking a smoke is EATING ME ALIVE holy shit 

 “no matter how long I resist temptation / I will always lose / (...) / I’ve done the math / there’s no solution / we’ll never last / why can’t I let go of this” 

Notice  how the last line here mirrors “why can’t I move on” from It’s Over Isn’t It? I love my job. 

Strange - Celeste 

Just a sad sad breakup song was listening to this in my brain rot era after season 2 and it stuck 

In Crowley’s voice: “I tried for you / tried to see through / the smoke and dirt / it wouldn’t move / what could I do?”

Honestly would love to see an animatic of this one though 

9/10 - Jeff Rosenstock 

I’ll be severely disappointed if Crowley isn’t an absolute drama queen after season 2

“Nine times out of ten I'll be stoned on the subway (...) / Dodging eye contact with anyone who looks my way / Nine times out of ten I'll be thinking of you”

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now - The Smiths 

very similar energy

I want to see Crowley in an absolute SULK listening to this song. He’s smoking ciragettes, mice are sleeping in his eye bags like hammocks, everyone within a 15 mile radius knows he’s a divorcee. He’s still wearing leather pants because he does have standards. He’s drinking espresso martinis at like 11 AM etc. 

Bad Relgion - Frank Ocean 

“If it brings me to my knees / it’s a bad religion” is such a raw line for Crowley. Also this song slaps, by which I mean makes me cry. 

Girls Against God - Florence and the Machine 

This is more of a fic idea than anything else. “What a thing to admit / that when someone looks at me with real love / I don’t like it very much / kinda makes me feel like I’m being crushed” I JUST THINK THEY WOULD BOTH BE TERRIBLE AT RECEIVING UNGUARDED AFFECTION. 

“And I know I might not look like much / just another screaming speck of dust / but oh God you’re gonna get it / you’ll be sorry that you messed with us” In the music video in my mind it’s cutting between Aziraphale in Heaven and Crowley on Earth and them both absolutely going through it. Aziraphale is pulling off some excellent espionage and Crowley is just flipping off the sky. 

August - Flipturn 

OUGH one of my favorite songs ever 

“WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT / WE DON’T HAVE THE TIME / WE THOUGHT LOVE WAS SOMETHING / WE WEREN’T MEANT TO FIND” hhhhhhhhh I kind of like this interpretation of their characters better than like some of the hopeless pining written in fanfiction (and what I’ve been writing about this whole time I know) - that line ‘we don’t have the time’ is so very British - I kind of like that angle of understated tragedy, like neither of them are quite as heart broken as they could be because it didn’t occur to them to hope for more…. 

And the chord changes where he layers on “and I’ve loved you from the start” over the chorus????? In shambles

The Literal Start.  

Shrike - Hozier 

Firmly in season 3 headcannon territory 

This one’s in Aziraphale’s voice 

“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted / ah but I’m singing like a bird bout it now” hhhhhhh

After everything he’s been through Crowley deserves like 15 declarations of love

“I was housed by your warmth / and thus transformed / by your grounded and giving / and darkening scorn” SO POETIC and such an apt description of Crowley 

And if you want to be REALLY sad you can interpret it as some sort of sacrifice on Aziraphale’s part: “remember me love / when I’m reborn / as a shrike to your sharp / and glorious thorn” 

Side note I really want Aziraphale to get properly angry after season2 - my personal headcannon is that he finds the file of Crowley’s fall (a scene which has been conspicuously omitted throughout the show because surprise surprise it’s fucking tragic) and finally Gets It. 

Up the Wolves - The Mountain Goats 

What if they talked to God?? Would be difficult to pull of in a way that felt satisfying but it would be wild

“Our mother has been absent / ever since we founded Rome / but there’s gonna be a party when the wolf comes home” 

CROWLEY: “There’ll always be a few things / maybe several things / that you’re gonna find really difficult to forgive” 

I love how cathartically John Darnielle sings these lines “I’m gonna get myself in fighting trim / scope out every angle of unfair advantage / I’m gonna bribe the officials / I’m gonna kill all the judges / it’s gonna take you people years to recover from all of the damage!!!” Crowley gets to have a little unholy rage as a treat – reminds me of the scene from season 1 when he drives through the flaming motorway 

Your Face - The Lake Poets 

This is definitely an Azirpahale pov 

“I never want to go away again / I just can’t face one more goodbye” there’s something about the simplicity of these lyrics that really gets to me 

“Out here I try my best to occupy / my mind with things that I should do / but in my heart and soul I recognize / there’s nothing I want more than you.” anyways. 

I like the image of Aziraphale really holding out, keeping a stiff upper lip in heaven and then as soon as they’re reunited he’s like “OH CROWLEY IT WAS TERRIBLE!!” 

“I miss you so much I can’t think straight / I miss you so much I can’t sleep / when I get home, I’m never leaving again / I’m yours and I’ll be yours to keep” 

Me and the Devil - Soap&Skin 

Idk Azirpahale deserves a badass moment 

But I also feel like it would be a Legally Blonde scene where he whips out some bureaucratic loop hole that lets them go free 

And then they get to stride away to this song 

Like Real People Do - Hozier 

Conflicted about including this one - on the one hand it’s a little icky in the context of Neil Gaiman writing them as asexual because of their status as non-human entities and their ensuing romance made possible by their shared affection for the human race (though thankfully that reading is muddled by Beelzebub and Gabriel’s plotline) – veers a little too close to shitty “sex is what makes us human” discourse online 

THAT BEING SAID as an aspec person I fucking love this song so let’s all just be cool and chill about it

I think you could read the line “we should just kiss like real people do” not in the literal sense but more like ‘let’s pretend just for a moment that we aren’t hereditary enemies tasked with saving the world’ and some other tragic fantasy of that ilk 

Also I like setting this song somewhere post season two 

“I will not ask you where you came from / I will not ask and neither should you…” – I would love a scene where their both still mad and have some shit to work through but right in that moment they’re just so desperately happy to see one another 

Alexandria - Katy Kirby 

Obsessed with Katy Kirby 

FINALLY a happy ending song 

“I’ve gotta hand it to ya / it’s even better than I thought it would be” 6,000 YEARS OF PINNING anyways. 

“Baby you’re off the hook / for every promise that you couldn’t keep” hhhhhh

“I’d crack open my chin / before I would let you, let me / pull you over the edge” just kidding this song is still sad - I love fics about Crowley being paranoid that he’ll accidentally cause Aziraphale to fall 

Also I love this line in Crowley’s voice: “I run my thumb through your hair / like a stack of hundred-dollar bills I think I’ll keep” 

Lights Are On - Tom Rosenthal 

tooth rotting fluff - I think they deserve to rest and be ignored by  middle management for a little while

“God stood me up / and I don’t know why / lights are on / but nobody’s home / there ain’t no love / like our love” 

For You - Laura Marling 

“I thank a god I never met / never loved / never wanted / for you” is such a devastating line for Crowley 

No One’s Gonna Love You Like I Can - Laura Marling 

I have no excuses for this purely mushy bullshit 

Also the string arrangements in this song are to die for

[snowbunnytrick]

(I think I nearly blacked out writing this I was possessed by the divine Peterick spirit. I'm too scared to put this on my own blog but I need the world to hear and I think you'd like this ram me based on your fic ref list)

Not to like, insanely dead dove-ify peterick but something that swims around in my head SO MUCH is how it really does feel like Pete took Patrick on a whirlwind when he was just a kid. Some slightly creepy, hopelessly suppressed bi-curious in the early 2000s, touch starved, boystarved, Patrick-starved 20/21 year old falling in love at first sight with a precious, pink, stupidly awkward dork 16 year old. So much that he still remembers what Patrick was wearing. Doesn't care for his audio recordings that Joe showed him until he SEES him, yknow? There's an inherent freakness there.

Promising his mom you'll take good care of him and sleeping next to and on top of him, crowded and trapped in the back of a shitty van you can barely cover the gas costs of. Spinning around and shoving against him on stage and screaming in his mic and getting to take him home with you every day. Your golden ticket, a sweaty teenager getting into YOUR van.

Ugh and I could go on forever about it. How by ioh there's this inkling of Patrick growing up. Still so young but getting his senses. Seeing how real relationships work. He's in his 20s now. 22/23 and Pete 26/27 and seeing his grip loosening. He knows he's losing him. He's even clingier on stage, writing love songs about teenage promises and calling him before calling even his mom after overdosing. (Though I'm not sure if that one is urban legend.)

I think part of how bad the band dynamic was after Folie was that venom Patrick had for Pete. It's 25/26 and 29/30. Patrick sees Pete being sold as this tabloid figurehead and he's stolen his late teens and early 20s. Spent his last high school summer with this dickhead who can't keep his life together. Who fights with him on everything and he needs out NOW but Pete's holding on so tight he's drawing blood and then licking the wounds. He needs him.

Soul Punk being the flop it was (completely ahead of it's time, besides the point) and feeling like you've failed. Pete made you peak and dragged you down with him. You can't start over. So you give in. He asks to hang out again and you get those words again. The same ones that made your brain light up with their rhythm at 16. The drummer in you. And you go back to him. And things are scary and careful and you're walking on eggshells but it's nice. It comfortable. You sink back in and do 2 records back to back. He's learned. He knows what he's done to you but he doesn't have to apologize. His lyrics are his apology.

Mania being so polarizing, too. Trying new things and not letting it get to you this time. You've conquered each other, you don't need the world. You can write music for each other and yourself and no one else. And stardust is just. So so so full circle. It's okay. Everything makes sense again. You can dance on stage and Pete can recite his words to people and not just a recording booth. It's 39 and 44 and you wouldn't trade it for the world.

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH OH MY GOD ……. what a wonderful little essay you’re SO fucking right!!!! something that has always drawn me back to them after drifting back and forth to them in bursts of obsession is just. like. every single little facet of their relationship that has developed over the years and how it all well and truly stemmed from this very strange, unnatural, curious, twisted, enchanting fascination that this local too-sick celebrity cursed/blessed with boundless charm and a too-big heart and so much ink and mean white teeth and dirty dirty hands had with this fucking geeky teenage boy with patchy sideburns and bitten-through red lips and an off-kilter voice that he was still trying to grow into and limp skinny wrists and a pudgy stomach. he took that teenage boy to college parties, he bought him gifts, he took him to the movies, he made sure to saturate every square inch of his life with this new world that this kid was being thrust into—partially by force. waiting with baited breath until summer break starts and taking him across the country with him to breathe into his neck and touch him and tug on him and push him around until he snaps and it feels so fucking good when he does. patrick’s entire adolescence and the foundation of the rest of his life was permanently altered through pete and everything that started in the summer of 2001 still remains to this day in little touches and glances and inside jokes and intimacy and tenderness and adoration that most people would kill to feel. it’s so endlessly, hopelessly romantic and there are so many wounds that have been pulled open along the way and then either clumsily or carefully sewn back up…..… all these moments of intense codependency and tragedy and violence and anguish and possession and desperation. they feel so deeply for each other that it’s manifested so many times in the worst that humanity has to offer. i’ll never get away from them because they will never get away from each other because they physically can’t. it destroys them every single time it happens. and that makes me happy

[anietydriven]

⚠️ BLOOD / GORE WARNING⚠️ (Made my own little spin on it)

»»————-　[ Chapter 7: You are my Black Sorrow ]　————-««

Till stayed in the spot for a few hours before Ivan shifted his body away as he slowly woke up.

"Rise and shine."

"Hm..?" Ivan grumbled as he rubbed his eyes. He turned his head to see Till.

He froze for a split second before rising to his feet and hid under a blanket. Till tilted his head in confusion, What's up with Ivan? Ivan was happy, excited even. He just didn't think they'd sleep together! Although they didn't do anything yet. A part of him was putting himself down thinking.

'Give up on it. He'll never love you. He loves Mizi.'

Till calmed down and came to his senses as he pulled the blanket off of himself. Ivan gave his iconic smile with his cute little fang peaking out.

"Evening.. Sorry about sleeping on you."

"No need to apologize. We both passed out. Urak was being kind enough to not wake either of us up." Till smiled faintly.

Till grabbed his book and turned his attention onto Ivan.

"Your round is tomorrow. Should you rehearse it?" Till asked softly.

"Eh, I'll do it in the morning. My round isn't until night time."

"Then what will you be doing..?" Till wondered.

"Hm.."

Ivan tilted his own head, he didn't know what he'd be doing. But he just knew for now being around Till isn't good for himself. He shrugged as if he's acting like an airhead.

"Dunno. But I'll be back around bedtime."

The boys shares a dorm, which is why he said that. Ivan turned his back towards Till and waved bye. He left the room, he had to distract himself otherwise he might just fuck things up. Ivan did things to distract himself. Such as working out. They might be stuck in space but he still wants to stay fit. He got on a pull up bar and pulled his body up over the bar.

Ivan didn't notice Mizi staring at him. Mizi watched him before speaking.

"How was your date?"

"Date? It wasn't one.. He kept on talking about how he wished you were there with him." Ivan stated bluntly.

"Ugh he's so dense.. How did he fuck this up for himself?" Mizi mumbled.

Ivan glanced over towards Mizi as he pulled his head over the bar, with his calves crossed in the air, near the back of his thighs. Mizi snickered as she said.

"You're lucky you're in here alone. Otherwise your fangirls would be drooling everywhere." Mizi teased.

"Oh? Why's that?" Ivan asked oblivious.

Mizi stared at Ivan with an unamused expression, she gazed at his body. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but he was wearing gym shorts. Mizi was unsure if Ivan was serious about not knowing.

"Y'know how girls are. Seeing men exercise and get all.. sweaty." She gestured to his body.

Ivan did one more rep of chin-ups. Which was he had used his arms to pull his whole body up, to have his chin above the bar. Then he had lowered his body to the starting position He had let go of the bar, allowing him to fall to his feet. Ivan wiped the sweat off of his face. However there was sweat rolling down Ivan's chest. Mizi just stared at him disrespectfully. She began to see why girls are fawning over him.

However she is still loyal to her girlfriend, besides she's a lesbian. She shrugged it off before she sat on a bench. She tossed a water-bottle towards Ivan.

"Thanks." Ivan mumbled.

He had gulped the water down before he went to his dorm room and fell asleep. Ivan had a bad sleep pattern. Even so he still woke up full of energy. This man had stayed away from Till, rehearsing his song. They had to write their own song. Ivan had made one copy for his competitor.

Ivan might only care about Till but he's a relatively nice person unless if they provoke him. So there's no point in not giving her a copy of the lyrics.

Till felt a bit uneasy. It's not that he's worried, it's just whenever Ivan doesn't talk or go bother them Ivan is usually up to no good. So he walked down the halls, stopped at a door and stared inside of the room. What he saw was indeed Ivan. However what he saw was Ivan sitting on the ground, head against the wall. He couldn't see Ivan's face but he knew that body language anywhere. Ivan was thinking of his past. After all, that's what they all do.

Till didn't want to distract him or interfere, so he continued to walk down the corridors towards Mizi's room.

'At least he's not plotting anything.' Till thought to himself.

Ivan was having memories of his past. He remembered how he didn't care about whether he died or not. Because he remembered he was being dangled over the roof of the building by a Gorilla-Cyclops alien. Ivan also remembered how he first got interested in Till.

That was the first time he felt anything besides emptiness. Ivan had came back to reality, he disliked the reality. Ivan smirked to himself as he glanced towards the door to see no one was there. He shook his head, returning back to the song.

"I hate this world. At least I have Till." Ivan huffed.

A half the day was the time Ivan took to rehearse. He went into the waiting room once the sun had vanished in the sky above. He was waiting for his round to start which was 5 minutes away. Ivan was wearing an a black top and grey pants with belts and straps on his pant legs.

Till snuck up behind Ivan which slightly startled Ivan.

"W-Why are you here..?"

"Well.." Till hesitated but he continued.

"You better win this. I see you as a friend, but seriously. I care about you.. If you win this I'll ask Urak— Try to ask Urak if we could go out into town. Since you seemed happy yesterday.."

Till wasn't the best at encouraging people. I am stared at him before tilting his head.

"Oh, you don't have to force yourself."

"I-I'm not! I'm genuinely worried about you die neither Mizi and I will be sad. You always get yourself in danger." Till stared at Ivan, unamused.

Ivan glanced away because he was guilty in that sense. He's always been one to experience near death. It's as if Ivan was a death chaser.

"You have no need to worry. At least be genuine with your words before speaking. However, I'm confident I'll win this round." Ivan smiled.

Although he's always negative about the world around him. He's still a confident player in this competition. He just bit his lip before saying.

"I hope you know. If I win this, We'll have to compete against each other. Are.. you sure you want this?"

"I.. I know that." He honestly had forgotten about that much.

It's just now isn't the time to worry about that. Especially since they should focus on the round they are at right now. Till glanced at the clock before he left the room. Leaving Ivan alone. Ivan bit his lip, drawing blood due to his fang. He turned to the contraption and stood atop of it.

He could hear the announcer talking.

"Now is the time you've all been waiting for! Here comes our competitors, Ivan and Sally!"

Ivan and Sally has been raised up onto the stage due to the elevation contraption. Ivan stared out into the crowd along with the cameras. He confidently strode forward towards the microphone. Just as drums played in the background, Ivan opened his mouth.

"The soggy darkness crouched down.

Even if we shake our heads, It's always been the same place.

I can't reach you, so I imagine Alone.

You who shines I stand next to you.

So black, black as it can be.

The dark sea gets deeper as you approach.

Like a black, black sorrow!

A story of such woe.

At the end of this story, there is only a cold spot.

Stained with blood and empty air."

Ivan paused a minute while the drums and the guitar continued. Ivan bit his lip while thinking about Till. He hoped Till was watching this.

"Where your eyes reach,

Where your fingertips brush.

Waiting for you endlessly.

The red light inside the black darkness,

Turning the hourglass.

Spending a long time with you..

So black, black as it can be!

A dark sea gets deeper as you approach.

Like a black, black sorrow.

A story of such woe

At the end of the story,

There is only a cold spot stained with blood."

Ivan raised his hand towards the camera.

"Such black, black sorrow!

To me you are,

To me you are my

Black sorrow!

You are my

Black sorrow!"

Till and Mizi were watching this all happen together. Mizi knew this song must be about Ivan his mental state around Till. Till on the other hand didn't know it was about his mental state, let alone himself. Till knew it was about Ivan, but that's about it.

Both Till and Mizi held their breaths, that they didn't know was being held. They were staring at the screen. How did Ivan get such a high rating?! Ivan's points?

90

Mizi snickered. "I knew he wouldn't die. But uh.. Ivan looks so dead inside."

"Huh..?" Till hasn't noticed it, but looking back at the screen. He did look dead inside.

Ivan turned his head to look up at the scoreboard. He didn't think he'd get that high, but he knew he'd win. Ivan's eyes turned to look at Sally.

Just as he looked at Sally, his eyes very slightly widened when he watched Sally's head get a hole in it. It was due to the gun. The gun had shot through Sally's eye.

Ivan stared in awe before he covered his mouth. Was he disgusted? No. He's hiding the twisted smile he had. So that's the outcome that happens when someone loses..

'Oh this is getting good.' Ivan thought to himself while he feigned disgust.

But his eyes were fixated on the gaping hole in that girl's head. He could see her twitching brain. Meanwhile, with Mizi she gagged while Till stared at the screen.

Ivan had his mouth covered to calm down. He had to calm down to see his puppy, Till. By the time Ivan arrived by Till's side, Ivan had looked calm. He saw Mizi's disgust. A part of him was having a kick out of it but he had that deep inside of him. Ivan feigned disbelief.

"I didn't know people died when they would go that far.." Ivan sighed.

"I told you not to fail." Till sighed before asking.

"When do you wanna go out again?"

"You mean like a date?" Ivan asked almost bluntly.

Till nearly choked on his saliva. "The fuck?!"

"...." A pause from Till.

It won't hurt to amuse Ivan. Then again he did say that he'd ask Urak to go out again if Ivan won.

"Fine, After round 4 some time I'll only go on One date. I heard going on a bro's date isn't.. y'know romantic" Till gave in.

Till wasn't taught anything by humans, he learned all of this in books. Till was doing the 'It's not gay if it's a bro-date'. Till knew asking Urak for this will bs hard. Not for Ivan but for himself. Ivan smiled happily and hugged Till. Which till squirmed in his grasp.

Mizi didn't know what was going on in Ivan's head but he was happy seeing the both of them having fun. She sighed softly.

"Till sweetie.." Mizi got close to Till's face. "There's no such thing as a bro's date.."

Ivan glared daggers at Mizi as if to tell her, 'Back off.' without saying it.

Mizi backed up from Till. "You two should kiss." with a cat like grin.

"Hell no!" Till hissed while blushing heavily.

Ivan clicked his tongue. "No take-backsies."

Ivan wasn't going to pass up on going on a date with Till. Till on the other hand was dreading this already. But on the plus side he didn't give a specific date.. Maybe, just maybe Ivan will forget.

To be continued.

»»————-　　————-««

[scary-flag]

Ahhhh yay you’re watching JCS!! As an avid JCS fan I went absolutely feral when Con mentioned the Judas/Jesus dynamic as a basis for Izzy & Ed. My most favorite parallel is during “Damned For All Time/Blood Money”:

Judas’ lyrics of “I came because I had to I’m the one who saw/Jesus can’t control it like he did before/Jesus wouldn’t mind that I was here with you/I really didn’t come here of my own accord/just don’t say I’m damned for all time” are so supremely Izzy to me. Like I had to do this, Ed knows I had to do this, it’s not betrayal it’s for his own good.

And then it’s just as heartbreaking when Judas sings his final song. When he goes back to the earlier melody that Mary Magdalene sings: “I don’t know how to love him/I don’t know why he moves me/he’s just a man he is not a king/ does he love me too? Does he care for me?” Ugh I genuinely love this musical lol and I love that Con gave it a shoutout! He’s a musical theatre bb too and he probably came up around when this was at its peak. Anyway glad to hear it’s giving you lovely Ed & Izzy vibes!!

Yes, I was thinking the same about the Damned For All Time/Blood Money. But ever since I watched OFMD for the first time I had felt the vibe with Ed/Izzy, you know, with the devotion, selling Ed out to the English thinking it was for his own good, but ultimately regretting it, and so on. There is something deeply *religious* about Izzy's actions and attitude and no one's gonna change my mind.

Having watched the entirety of JCS finally I definitely get what Con meant on that panel, about the Ed/Izzy and Jesus/Judas.

Yeah, Con has a long history with musicals after all. I still hope one day a full recording of Blood Brothers with him will resurface on the Internet.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 4th May

We've got a real assortment of romantic situations this week, by the look of things. One of these songs I know, but the others are a complete mystery to me. So without further ado...

Someone Else's Baby - Adam Faith (peaked at Number 2)

There seems to be some sort of competition going on at this point among these late 50s/early 60s musicians about who can sing the word "baby" in the weirdest way. Buddy Holly started it off, but Adam's really going for the title here, with about three different pronunciations. The one where he goes with "by-buy" is particularly unappealing.

Actually, the whole song makes Adam sound rather unappealing, as he thinks about a friend, singing about how If I acted bad / I could steal his fairy queen. You see, Adam has the hots for his friend's girlfriend. And sure, this guy would be mad. But I can't resist the thought of being kissed by / Someone else's baby. Yikes, Adam. He doesn't even seem particularly attracted to this girl, it almost seems more like the idea of her cheating on her boyfriend is the whole appeal, here. Gross, and more than a bit of a red flag - you get zero sense that Adam even cares if this girl likes him back, he's so determined to kiss her. Ugh.

Musically, it's trendy, at least - you've got the Buddy Holly strings and hiccupping vocal style that's so popular at the moment. Add a glockenspiel, and a frankly alarming key change near the end, and you've got something catchy and peppy enough to stick in the head. I'm not surprised this got to number 2, you know. Just a bit disappointed. I know Adam likes to play the bad boy, but c'mon, everyone - do we have to do the whole homewrecking thing?

Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers (1)

Thankfully, the Everlys would never stoop so low. In fact, in some ways, we've got the opposite side of the story here, a story about a man who's been cheated on and messed around with once too many times, and is ready to break up with his girlfriend over it. He's fed up of everybody calling him a clown for letting his girl treat him that way, and declares that I gotta stand tall / You known a man can't crawl / But when he knows you're tellin' lies / And he hears them passin' by / He's not a man at all. The Everlys are feeling humiliated, and they're not standing for it any more.

There's a fun mix of emotions, here - you've got a simmering anger that leads them to declare frostily don't want your love anymore / Don't want your kisses, that's for sure, but you've also got a softer, sadder side that's just bewildered at it all, as he asks Cathy that when you see me shed a tear / And you know that it's sincere / Don't you think it's kinda sad / That you're treatin' me so bad? Don (or is it Phil?) just doesn't understand how Cathy could treat him like that, even as he coldly rejects and casts her away.

Lyrics aside, it's also a masterclass in tight harmonies, with one of the brothers staying high while the other cascades down the scale on the chorus, with both of their voices plaintive and accusatory in turn. Add a steady, heavy snare beat, and some reverb-heavy guitar, and you've got a song that has a sort of solidity to it that I like a lot. Apprently they did something with a tape loop to make it sound like it was two drummers, and you can kind of hear it, there's just a lot of drum going on.

Overall, I'd say it's the sort of song you only have to hear once or twice to feel like you know it - and impression that I think is helped by not really having verses, just a sequence of repeating choruses and bridges that go back and forth and then fade out at the end. It's a snapshot into a moment in a relationship, more than a story, so it doesn't really have to "go" anwhere, as the Everlys just sit and stew in their feelings of betrayal and humiliation, and it makes for a really cool song.

Sweet Nothin's - Brenda Lee (8)

We haven't really heard from Brenda Lee yet, but she's been putting out music since 1957, and is a fixture in the US charts at this point. And honestly, just going off this record, I can see why - she's got a powerful voice. She barely lets it off the leash here, but you still get it peeking through on the line about how my baby whispers in my ear, for example, before she reins it back in on the mmm, sweet nothin's line, or the line about keeping his secrets to herself. Which makes sense - a nice bit of sound-painting. She really wants to sing loudly about her baby, so that everyone knows, but she also wants to be a bit coy about it, to keep their special moments special, private. It's cute.

As you can kind of tell, this is all in the context a song about the things a lover might tell you, all the "sweet nothings" you might whisper to one another. Which I guess explains why the starts with a weird, unintelligible whispering man and a comedy uh-huh, honey from Brenda, plus the little pss pss pss whispers in the background, all of which unfortunately give the song a certain goofiness that doesn't necessarily do it any favours. The backing whispers, in particular, sound like somebody's trying to call a cat over, more than anything - I get what they were trying to do, but the song works fine without them.

That said, there are a lot of touches that kind of win me back over, from Brenda's sheer confidence and brass, to the little Southern twang she injects into lines like the one about how she's sittin' in class tryin' to read my book and the breathy way she sings about those sweet nothin's. Plus halfway through you get to this excellent rock and roll sax solo, complete with hand-claps. I love some hand claps. All good stuff.

Zooming in, I also really appreciate the moment later on, where Brenda's sitting out on the porch talking to her love, when mama turned on the front porch light, sayin' / "Come in darlin', that's enough for tonight." She drops into a spoken register for the mother's lines, and it just feels charmingly real, the sort of thing your mother might say, as a politely but firmly worded reminder not to get too carried away. You can almost feel the slight disapproval in the way Brenda voices it, the hint - ever so slight - that Brenda and her boy might be getting up something a little more scandalous than just talking. Or why else was that porch light off, eh?? I see you there, Brenda!

I enjoyed all three of these songs - they all feel pretty typical for this era, and I like that they're all about completely different romantic situations, from the forbidden allure of somebody else's partner, to the anger of being treated like a fool, to the first blush of young love. All three artists have quite distintive styles and voices for it, too - but I think the overall texture and quality of the Everlys - plus their lack of weird whispering men and their lack of general skeeviness- set them apart here. (I am looking forward to seeing Brenda Lee again, though, preferably without the comedy backing).

Favourite song of the bunch: Cathy's Clown

[thatbanditqueen]

When the year is all over, and Spotify shames me with the evidence that I have listened to Elvis for one hundred billion hours, I imagine that there are going to be a bunch from the 1950s. I Was the One has already come up for me on a few of your other challenges, probably in my top ten of all Elvis songs. There are so many in heavy rotation for me.That's Alright Mama, Blue Moon, Earth Angel, Lawdy Miss Clawdy, Good Rockin Tonight, So Glad You're Mine, One Night With You. All the soundtracks. Too many to list. I am being very disobedient and going way above the three song limit. Sorry, @be-my-ally listed six, and, ahem, a few others did not follow directions, so I took my cues from them.

Shake, Rattle & Roll Top form proto punk where Elvis is almost growling/yelling, and the lyrics are so dirty. It means a lot to me because it was his first TV song, and he just bursts through the screen into the consciousness of the country. BAM.

Don't Be Cruel There are a few versions of this, and I love them all. All 500 from the Million Dollar Quartet. The polished upbeat studio version, with clapping pitter patter of his hands (or someone's) keeping time. The way he says "hmmmmmmm" ? I also get sentimental about this one, it is one I remember listening to and dancing around to as a kid, and then it was Gladys' favorite song.

Is it So Strange On of my favorite Elvis ballads. Maybe my top one. His voice is so deep at the beginning, and then it becomes more earnest and high, and you just hear his range and emotionality. It is so heartbreaking, and I feel it, it is about a lover trying to win back his love and not having eyes for any other girl. June asked him to record this song, and then the album came out after she broke it off. Ugh, the angsty angst. I might just wallow in it for a while.

I Need Your Love Tonight OK, I think his voice is peak dork cute on this, the way he hiccups "wowee" and "pow pow" and then croons "I got the hi-fi high and the light down low," oh god. Be still my quivering quim. And I think the guitar solo is fun too.

Now and Then (There's a Fool Such as I) Can I just group this with Need Your Love? it was the B side on the single. There was a period of about three months when I had to play this song first thing in the morning everyday and it living in my head. That opening guitar riff might be the reason. But then it is the way he croons/slurs the lyrics in a low voice. Then there is the way he grows Then - a when he sings "Now and Then." Ugh. Listen to Hank Snow's version and then listen to this one.

I Asked the Lord Earnest, slow Elvis singing gospel as he plays the piano with a soft deep voice. It is so operatic and sentimental as it crescendos, yet seems so intimate because it's a home recording. I think of him in Germany, a far off look in his eyes, feeling all alone and unsure about his future, singing this, and I can feel the melancholy and I am right there in the same emotional state and I feel connected to him intricately. The melody hits a melodramatic sweet spot for me.

Santa Claus is Back in Town Pretty sure I am one of two Jews in this subsection of the fandom, so I am surprised that I am the first to list this. Or maybe not. I think most American Jewish girls are at least Christmas curious if not full out Santa sluts. Our whole culture becomes Christmas for two months, can you blame us? Plus I grew up celebrating it with friends and family who were not married to Jews. And Elvis' Christmas music is just fucking balls. Anyway, oh man, I love this song. The bluesy melody, the naughty lyrics, his voice, from a growly snark to sexy croon. Brrr. My favorite xmas song.

Elvis Top Three - 1950s Songs

Hello my sweet Elvis friends! The question this week is…what are your top 3 Elvis songs from the 50s? (This to me would include anything recorded in the 50s, even if it wasn’t released until later). This one was SO much harder than I thought it would be. As I looked through The Complete 50s Masters to help me decide on my top three, I was just astounded at the sheer number of great songs he recorded in such a short time span. This man was truly legendary (as if you all didn’t know).

As always, this list could change tomorrow (or in an hour), but here are my top three in this moment:

One Night – Elvis gives such a soulful, sexy rendition of this song; I can’t even tell you how much I love his vocals on this. I also love the story behind the song. The record label felt the original lyrics were too suggestive, but Elvis loved the song so much he played around with it and came up with new lyrics that allowed him to release it as a single. When he performed it at the Comeback Special, you can see how he sort of surprised himself by slipping back into the original lyrics. This is one of those songs you could tell he really enjoyed performing. His passion when he sings this just makes me feel some kind of way.

Heartbreak Hotel – This one is just classic. It was definitely his breakthrough song for a reason. The haunting, hiccup-y vocal, the bluesy piano riff, the lyrics…this to me was just so different from other rock n’ roll stuff. I think it really set him apart. And I love his really bluesy live versions of this later on.

Don’t – I’ve just been kind of obsessed with this one lately. I think the lyrics are sweet (“This you can believe, I will never leave you” – swoon), and this man could just sing a ballad like no one else. His voice makes me feel safe. It is really just perfection.

Runner-ups: It was just painful how many I could not include. Some others up for consideration were Just Because, That’s All Right, Shake Rattle and Roll, Any Way You Want Me, Tomorrow Night, Trying To Get To You, Anyplace is Paradise, Milkcow Blues Boogie…I could go on forever! ❤��

Please share your favorite Elvis songs from the 50s! Anyone join in the fun! 😘

@whositmcwhatsit @be-my-ally @thatbanditqueen @ellie-24 @vintagepresley @lookingforrainbows @prompted-wordsmith @flwrs4aust @iloveelvis @argeriant18 @loving-elvis @alienelvisobsession @ab4eva @manebioniclegali @deke-rivers-1957 @rjmartin11 @elvisalltheway101 @satninroses @doll-elvis @devilsflowerr @missmaywemeetagain @troubleinapinksuit @cryingabtab @generoustreemystic @samfangirls @animalloverthingsss @velvetelvis @everythingelvispresley @arrolyn1114 @claire-elvisgirl @kendralavon7 @vintage-leisure @blighted-star @queenncreole @basicpresleygirl @lllsaslll @elvissbabygirl @powerofelvis @ashtag6887 @sissylittlefeather @dkayfixates @peskybedtime @lettersfromvenus @burnthheparaphilia @thetaoofzoe

[hiphop-rap-and-basketball]

Die For You • Jayson Tatum

Pairing: Jayson Tatum x baby momma reader (lmaoo)

Word Count: 1,967

Summary: surprise shortyyyy 🤰🤰🏻🤰🏼🤰🏽🤰🏾🤰🏿

Warnings: none, just slight reference to seggs obviously but it’s very fluffy/sweet

A/N: n: well well well, if it isn’t me in my FEELINGS. We been knew tho lmaoo. this is kind of… angsty??? Idk??? Is that the word? I just start writing and see where I go lmaoo. Can’t believe I’m dropping my first Jayson imagine let’s goooo. It's very short and sweet but I like it :) just a lil something something since I haven’t posted and just want to get my mind off things.

💖This imagine is inspired by the song Die For You by The Weekend, it’s kind of an older song but if you haven’t listened to it in a while go listen to it right now! Then listen to it while you’re reading, then listen to it after you read it. Lmaoo jkjk I can’t read and listen to a song at the same time but like ugh the way the lyrics goes so perfect with this little short story. Just do it 😏

“I would die for you and Deuce, I hope you know that.”

Those were the last words Jayson said to you since your conversation on the phone last night that ended with you in tears.

As you looked down at the pregnancy test box in your clammy and shaky hands, you were hoping he meant that shit.

Your conversations lately had not been well. You missed him terribly when he was gone for long periods of time and that resulted in you lashing out on him about making time for you. You understood basketball was his career and the NBA was always his dream. You loved Deuce with all of your heart and Jayson changed your life.

But you missed the date nights, late night talks in the car, the romance being at its peak when everything felt so new. Laughing until your stomach hurt and eating way too much on date nights. Those days felt like a distant memory now as so much has changed as his career improved tremendously.

So you finally decided to open up to him about that feeling you had in your conversation with him on the phone last night. He chose his words carefully as he knew you were valid in your feelings but sometimes he would not be in the mood to tolerate your mood, like last night, for example.

When he said that one sentence that made you question everything.

“You knew what you signed up for by being with me.”

He was a good father to Deuce, which made up for a lot of your sad feelings about your relationship. But that was the problem. He poured into Deuce, he poured into basketball, but for the past couple of months, it felt like he did not pour into you.

When he said that sentence your heart immediately sank. It almost felt like you meant nothing to him. Your thoughts were irrational and your emotions where all over the place.

Flash forward to today, you sat on the cold bathroom floor tiles with a million thoughts running through your mind of all the possibilities after seeing the results of the test. The past couple of weeks you had felt a lot of nausea in the mornings and late nights. You were weaning off of breastfeeding and had yet to have gotten a chance to pick up birth control pills from the pharmacy.

Pregnant or Not Pregnant. You had two options.

Pregnant would mean another long nine months of nausea, sleepless nights and many mood swings that you would most likely unintentionally let out on Jayson. It would mean a lot of questioning whether or not Jayson was worthy of being the man to have your kids, as there were many night you would sleep alone and uncomfortable, while he was somewhere across the states celebrating another win for the Celtics.

Not pregnant would mean today would be just another day of taking just another test that would not mean anything once it was tossed away in the garbage.

You looked a Deuce who was in his playroom across from you in the bathroom. The tv was on and he was distracted by the array of toys sitting in front of him. You regained your focus on the task at hand now. You had to take it, you knew you did. You did everything you could today to avoid possibly seeing those two little lines on the small rectangular screen of the stick.

The apartment was clean, the dishes were washed, the bed sheets were neatly folded. You had completed every task possible just to avoid the ultimate feeling of your heart dropping to your stomach in response to those two little lines.

Once you finished your business, you set the test upside down on the bathroom sink quickly. You shut the door and focused your attention to Deuce for a moment as he rubbed his eyes and looked ready for bed. You picked him up into your arms and prepared him for bed. Laying with him and playing with his fingers as he looked up at you, drinking from his bottle before his eyelids grew heavy, as he quickly fell asleep.

Your heart raced again as you remembered what you were doing prior to laying with him. You sighed deeply, finally ready to face your truth. Your shaky hand reached for the door knob, as you twisted it slowly and looked at the test sitting upside down on the bathroom counter.

You stared at it for a moment before finally lifting it.

Two lines.

You let out a deep, choppy exhale. You looked down at your stomach, rubbing it for a moment before looking in the mirror. You had not a clue how far along you could possibly be. You felt your emotions get the best of you again, thinking about being pregnant.

The beauty of it was the end result, having a beautiful child that looked like you and your lover. Raising them to be a strong individual with the knowledge of their cultural background making them who they are and every reason for them to be proud.

The painful part was yet to come. As you began to think how you would feel more sickness, more swelling, and soon enough you would be carrying around a heavy belly. You sat down and cried alone on the cold bathroom floor, wondering how you would do it all over again.

When you finally regained the strength to get up, you made your way to the kitchen for a big glass of water. You searched through the cabinets in hopes that you would come across the half empty bottle of prenatal pills that you may or may not have still had around there somewhere.

You heard keys shuffling from a distance in the hallway. Hearing him unlock the door felt painstakingly long as you fumbled out a pill from the bottle and stored it back where you found it. You tapped your fingers on the counter until finally you observed his tall figure walk into your apartment.

He drops his bag on the floor to the side of him as soon as he saw you. Without saying a word he scoops you up effortlessly, and you wrap your legs around his waist and arms around his head, burring your face in the crook of his neck. He held you for a moment, deeply inhaling the familiar smell of home for him that was you, that he missed so much when he was gone.

“Hi,” he whispered near your ear.

“Hi,” you managed to mutter back as he set you back down to your feet, still holding you close for a moment.

“Deuce?”

“Asleep for the night,” you whispered. You reached up to caress his cheek with your hand, he brought his hand to yours, intertwining your fingers together as he looked into your eyes. “How was your flight?” You asked him.

“Long,” he replied, voice husky and strained when he spoke. “How are you?”

“Um,” you sighed, shifting your weight from one leg to another. “I’m okay.”

His smile grew as he observed all of your facial features. Even though he had hundreds of pictures of you saved in his camera roll, nothing beat the feeling of seeing your beauty in person.

“Look I…” he began. “I thought a lot about what you said and, there was no reason for me to speak like that to you or even say that, really.”

You sat down now, trying to process his words as your mind was still distracted on your news. He continued and you wondered what he would say, and when would be the right time to tell him.

“I love you, with all my heart. I haven’t been the best man to you and I want to make it up to you. I want to be a better man for you, because you deserve that. You deserve the communication from me that you ask for- not no half ass shit.”

You looked at him in awe, feeling warmth in your heart as he was taking accountability for his actions. You wished he would have said all this sooner. But he was saying it right now, and that was step one of many.

“Jayson,” you replied softly.

“I mean it, you’re my one and only. You deserve so much love and I can show you so much more. I’m so, so sorry,” he trailed off, looking genuinely sad as the words spewed out of his mouth, you felt a tinge of guilt in your heart for going off on him in almost every phone conversation lately but this is really what you wanted and needed to hear.

“Thank you… I love you Jayson. I just want to feel appreciated and loved by you.”

“I know… I love you too. You deserve that.”

You stare at him for a moment as he continues to form words to say you felt the familiar lump forming in your throat in response.

“It’s not a hard request. I feel stupid for even treating it like it was one. I put basketball first everyday of my life but that doesn’t mean you should be neglected in the process. You’ve taken such good care of Deuce and he loves you so much…”

“Jayson…” you whispered almost inaudible.

“What?” He asked with his brows furrowed still, looking into your eyes with deep concern.

“I’m pregnant,” you mumbled, not realizing that breaking the news to him would bring even more tears to your eyes, and it did. Your vision grew clouded and when you closed your eyes for a moment, tear drops spilled down your cheeks.

The look on his face was not what you expected. You worried he would be upset. He looked the complete opposite, in fact, he had the biggest smile growing on his face.

“Really?” He replied.

You nodded, rubbing the tears from your eyes but they kept coming.

“Y/N- I’m- I’m so happy,” he picked you up again, spinning you around this time and setting you down. He grabbed your face with both hands and gave you the sweetest kiss, before rubbing his nose against yours.

“How far along? I mean- did you just find out? Y/N - I’m so- wow,” he chuckled, unable to form a proper sentence.

“Today, um- I-I just took the test.” You sniffed.

“That recent? Well. We did have a good night on Valentine’s Day,” he chuckled and you rolled your eyes at him in response.

“Jayson,” you chuckled.

Although, reminiscing on that night did send shivers down your spine. He knew how to make love to you, and he did it well.

He knelt down to bring his face to your stomach as he began planting kissing on it and rubbing it and hugging you a dozen times.

“I can’t believe it,” he smiled in between planting a dozen more kisses on your belly. You brought your hands to his head, running your hands over his tousled hair as you giggled.

“We’re ready. Oh Y/N, this is so beautiful- you’re so beautiful. I hope it’s a girl,” he smiled, giving you multiple kisses on your lips now.

“Why’s that?” You giggled.

“I want to be a girl dad… and I think Deuce would love having a little sister.”

“Aw, Jayson,” you smiled, poking out your bottom lip pretending to not cry but crying anyway.

“Can we go make another one? Right now?” He replied, looking into your eyes with his hands gripping your waist.

“I don’t think it works like that, Jayson,” you giggled.

“It does now,” he chuckled, scooping you up into his arms and walking you to your bedroom as the two of you were enamored for each other all over again.

[itsjustatragedy]

It's a Soulmate Thing (Part 1)

Warnings (None that I can think of?)

Wc = 1,311

Summary = You met Nagito online and developed a crush on him, however after having a strange dream about a man who sang to you, Nagito starts to tell you what he knows about said dream.

Notes = (does that summary even make sense >_> probs not. Also Komaeda has brown hair in this! Just a personal headcanon of mine that he has it ^ - ^, sorry for the confusion in this btw!)

You always knew what you needed. Your whole life you knew, your whole life was centered around finding this very thing.

When you met him online, you didn’t really know what to think. It seemed too good to be true. The two of you hit it off almost instantly, the only thing that got in the way of you talking was something out of your control. Yet that never really seemed to bother him.

He introduced himself fully in the span of a day. He told you his name was Nagito Komaeda. You felt oddly familiar with that name, as if you’ve heard it plenty of times before. It made you smile, without you really knowing why. You decided to introduce yourself as well, not wanting to just be known by your username. 

He told you your name was pretty, beautiful even. You laughed, asking if he was always this flirtatious with random people online. He insisted he wasn’t at all and apologized if he was coming on too strong. 

“Not at all, it’s just new.” you told him. You felt a strange sense of relief after saying that. Soon after, he texted you “It is for me too.”

It wasn’t long till you learned where he went to school. Hope’s Peak, the pretentious school for talented individuals. You were shocked. 

“That’s amazing!” you gasped. “What’s someone like you doing talking to someone as average as me?”

“Average? You?”

“Mhm, that’s me.”

His reply came quickly. “You’re not! Believe me!” 

You rolled your eyes, making sure he could see it through the video feed. “You’re just saying that–”

“Why would I lie to you?” he typed. 

“I.. huh… guess I’m just used to people lying!” you said, laughing the matter off. A feeling of dread filled you, you couldn’t place why. 

When you two said your goodbyes that night, you dreamed of something wonderful. You saw the person you needed, that you wanted. They had light brown hair but every other feature was blurred. You remember him singing for you, his voice came out as an angelic symphony. Yet something was off. He was singing a song only you and Komaeda knew, one you had written about Komaeda himself. 

When you woke up, you texted Komaeda almost instantly. 

“Dude.. I just had a dream about that song I showed you…”

“Oh? What was it about?”

“I.. don’t really know? All I can remember is this dude.. He was singing it to me.”

Komaeda paused typing. Did you say something wrong? If so, what?

“What else do you remember?” he finally asked.

“Oh um, he had brown hair? Sorta light colored?” 

“Anything else?” “Umm.. he sang this lyric that I don’t really remember.. But it wasn’t part of the current song.”

“Was it something along the lines of hope?”

“Uh.. what do you mean?” you asked. You didn’t know why he was pressing you for answers. 

“Just anything to do with it, maybe he called you his hope?”

“Actually.. Yeah… I think he did?”

"Do you recall his name?" 

"He never told me… I think? Maybe? Ugh sorry, just don't know." 

Komaeda paused his frantic typing. Nerves filled me to the brim. "Ko?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I was there?"

You paused before laughing nervously. "W-what? How would that even be possible?"

"Ah.. you don't believe me already.. Wait, I can tell you exactly what happened during our time there. If you’d allow me?”

You shrugged, “Um… sure. Go off.”

Without being able to see him, you could tell Nagito began to relax as he continued. “We were at my mansion, I had my guitar and was trying to teach you how to play a few chords. You struggled on a few but got the hang of it. You asked me a few moments later how I knew how to play the guitar in the first place–”

Silence filled the chatroom. Between you being able to verbally communicate and him being able to type, nothing was being said. Komaeda began typing once more after noticing that you, most likely, didn’t know how to respond yet.

“I told you about my parents, and how I lost them. And how my mom loved music, so I wanted to carry her hopes on through that form. You wouldn’t happen to remember any of this yet, would you?”

Thoughts flew through your mind, thoughts that felt too much like forgotten memories. Memories of the brown haired man, laughing as he told you the most tragic story you’d ever heard. A memory of how you held him afterwards, not knowing what else you could possibly do. 

“I… I don’t think I remember it fully…”

“That’s okay.. Don’t force yourself to. Do you want me to go on? Or should I just shut up now?”

“Keep going.. If you could?”

“Okay.. Well, after I told you that, you asked if I sang at all. You should’ve seen your face when I said I did, you just looked so happy.. Basically you asked me right away if I could sing for you.”

“And you did..”

“And I did. I’ve done it for you before, though I doubt you remember those times.”

“Wait.. I.. you’re the one in my dreams?” 

“Yeah…”

“H-how do I know you’re not lying? I mean.. It doesn’t make any sense?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you.. You’d already know if I was anyways.”

Your head was spinning at this point, none of this was making any sense to you. Wasn't this all something you would read about in those soulmate fanfics? 

"Wait.. why can't you just speak? Or show me what you look like Ko? Wouldn't that solve this all?" you asked.

His response took a moment, "You still wouldn't be able to actually see me… I'd be a complete blur to you."

"What?? Nagito I don't understand?"

"That's okay, I wouldn't expect you to right away. But.. if you want I can try and gist the situation."

"Please do?"

"Basically we are destiny bound, soulmates if you will. You and I are meant to be together throughout every timeline."

You paused, trying to process what he was saying. 

"What does that have to do with not being able to see you? And seeing you in my dream?"

"Well, that's the thing… you have to be able to physically see me for me to become clearer to you. Sounds weird, I know."

"So.. Basically being able to see you in person is like getting a new prescription or something?"

"I mean.. I guess you can put it that way? I'm so sorry.. I know this is all so confusing.. I just really got excited when you said you could remember me! Well I mean.. parts of me."

"... But.. there's no way I could see you in person, is there?" 

"I.. I'm going to try my best.. I have the money and everything to do it.. but there's just…"

"Alotta complications?"

"Yeah…"

Silence surrounded you both, until Komaeda typed a quick, "Hang on a second."

You waited. 

Suddenly, a distorted voice came through your headphones. "H-hey.. can you hear me?? I-is this thing even working?"

That's it, that's the exact voice you remember hearing. 

"K-komaeda? I can hear you!"

"Y-you can!? Ah, I'm so glad! Here wait.. I'll try to turn on my camera.. don't expect much though.."

Static filled the screen for a few moments before eventually disappearing. A blur of long, fluffy, brown hair appeared. The blob swirled as it moved backwards. 

"I, uh.. I'm not really a sight to behold, am I?" Komaeda laughed. 

"Y-you're.. You're like—"

"A complete blur right now?"

"Y-yeah…"

Komaeda seemed to nod on screen, before bringing what you assumed to be a hand up to his chin.

"Hey… you're scared.. aren't you?" his calm voice came through. 

"U-uh.. yeah.. how'd you know?"

"Soulmate thing."

"Ah."

[itsallyscorner]

request:

maybe like a part 2 where the reader was a singer!

but maybe like everyone in the marvel cast goes to the sweetener world tour to suprised them n congratulate them?

Thank you for the request, hun! I appreciate you for reading my other stuff and suggesting a part 2! Now that I think about it, I might make the whole singer thing into its own series of imagines and headcanons! Just a thought🥰 Happy reading!❤️

A/n: I’ve never been to an Ari concert, so I don’t know the set list, but enjoy my loves❤️

💌.

Sweetener

(She’s so pretty ugh)

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You leaned forward making sure your makeup was all good and to check if your lipstick has smeared onto your face.

“Everything good, hun?” Your makeup artist, Perrie, chirped from behind you. You took a step back, getting one more look.

“Yes Ma’am.” You turned to her and she was holding up the familiar bottle of setting spray.

“One more spray for good measure.” She motioned for you to close your eyes and you did. You breathed in through your nose as you felt the vibrations of the arena. The mix of the music playing out on stage mixed with the cheering of your fans added to your adrenaline.

The tour was finally at Inglewood, California, the last stop of the Sweetener World Tour. You had been traveling around the world for the past 10 months, performing every night in a different country or state. As tiring as it sounded, you absolutely loved the experience. Not only were you traveling and seeing new places, you were meeting your fans from different countries and doing what you loved. After 101 shows and 3 tour legs, it was finally coming to an end. The ending of tour was always bittersweet. You’ve been traveling with multiple people and crew who have grown to be another family. You were going to miss them so much but it was time for you to go back home to your real family. Not only have you missed your parents and siblings, but you also needed the rest. 10 months of nonstop traveling definitely took a toll on you. But nonetheless, it was all worth it.

“All done!” You opened your eyes to see Perrie smiling at you.

“Thank you so much!” You pulled her into a hug as your eyes began to water. You groaned playfully and tilted your head back.

“I’m gonna miss you doing my makeup everyday. Ugh, I haven’t even gone out on stage yet and I’m crying already.” You laughed through tears as Perrie began to protest.

“(Y/n), I swear if you mess up your makeup, you’re never going to hear the end of it. Cry later!” She laughed as she tried to get you to stop the tears from falling.

She gripped onto your arms and yelled, “NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY REMEMBER?” You bursted out laughing at her reference. You waved your hands at your eyes and when they finally felt normal, you looked straight.

“Okok, I think I’m good.” You released a breath as you smiled sweetly at her, “I love you!” You giggled pulling her into another hug.

“I love you too, darling. Have fun out there, you’re going to do amazing like always.” She squeezed you tight before letting you go. Victoria, one of your dancers and friend, peaked her head into the room.

“You ready? They’re waiting for you in the circle.” She informed you holding a hand out. The circle was like a pre-show ritual you had backstage with all the dancers and crew. You took her hand as you all walked out the makeup room. Your heels clicked against the floors, echoing in the hallway. The closer you got to the stage the louder the fans got and the stronger the vibrations got.

The circle was already gathered with all the dancers and crew. When Scott, another one of your dancers and friend, noticed you he began to cheer. Everyone followed along as you entered the circle. You were tucked in between Scott and Brian, who were twins. The two have been your dancers since the beginning and still are how many years later. You were truly grateful for them and everyone who was included in your Sweetener family.

“Damn. Last show ya’ll!” You began causing them to all cheer. You waited till they quieted down, shyly laughing, before continuing.

“Um, I don’t wanna get all emotional and shit right before going on stage. I’m gonna look like a mess out there with my mascara running down my face. Perrie I’m sorry!” You laughed. “I just wanna say, thank you to every single one of y’all. You guys have been the most fucking amazing people to work with. You guys have been working day and night to make the show as spectacular as it is and I love you all so much. You guys are my family and I can’t wait to write another album so I can tour with y’all again. I just want to hug every single one of you, you guys mean so much to me. Like literally, from the bottom of my heart I love all of you so much. I know I’ve said that like multiple times, but I really mean it. Y’all are gonna get a fatass check after this.” You finished making everyone laughing again. By now a few tears have made its way down your face. You even saw a few people’s eyes well up.

You laughed as you heard a chorus of “I love yous” as everyone squeezed in for a group hug.

“Alright! That’s enough crying, let’s get this show on the road!” You cheered to help everyone from crying. Everyone moved out the circle and got into places.

Before you can get in place, Perrie pulled you aside to fix up your makeup. Your stylists began smoothing out your skirt and making sure your knee high boots were securely on. Next was to get your earpiece on while one of the stage hands gave you your mic. From backstage you could hear the intro to the concert playing causing the fans to scream louder.

You got into place as you got the signal to start singing. You sang the opening lyrics of Raindrops (An Angel Cried) and began to smile as your fans sang along.

The platform began to move up when you finished and the beat of God Is A Woman began to play. You were now on the stage, the sea of white lights looking back at you. The adrenaline was still running through your veins. You performed the song, acing every move of the dance you’ve learned 10 months ago.

When the last note of God Is A Woman played, all the lights turned off except for the red lights on the stage.

“INGLEWOOD!” You yelled into your mic, your fans cheering even louder than before. You shared an excited smile with Brian.

“Welcome to the Sweetener World Tour!” And with that the opening notes of Bad Idea began to play, the show finally kicking off.

You were in the middle of singing R.E.M which was part of Act 2 of the concert. You moved towards the pit to see familiar faces beaming up at you.

“Boy, you’re such a drea— oh my god!” You squealed as you saw the pit full of your Marvel cast mates. You saw all the Chris’, both of the Tom’s, Robert, Scarlett, Elizabeth, almost everyone you’ve worked with in Marvel was there. You got down to your knees to touch their outstretched hands.

The fans screamed as the camera from stage panned down to the pit where all the actors were. You took the mic away from your mouth and leaned down to them.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked them through the loud arena.

Scarlett, Brie, and Lizzie were the nearest to the stage.

“We’re here to surprise you! It’s your last show and we wanted to be here for it!” Scarlett yelled over the track that was playing.

“We’ll catch up later, keep going!” Lizzie urged you to continue the concert with a toothy grin.

You held onto Brie’s hand as you sang to them, “Inglewood let me hear ya’ll! Excuse me um...”

“I LOVE YOU!” The fans sang back to you, including your cast mates. You dusted your knees off and continued to walk around the ramp. Before you could leave, you sent an excited wave to Brie and the rest of them.

~After the show~

You hopped off the platform that brought you down from the stage and were greeted by a bunch of congratulations and cheering. You and your dancers shared another group hug.

“(Y/N)!” You heard a familiar voice yell. You follow the voice and see Anthony waving at you with his infamous grin. He was accompanied by the rest of the cast behind him. You run towards them and jump into Anthony’s outstretched arms.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sweaty, but I’m so happy to see all of you!” You wrapped your arms around Anthony’s neck as he spun the two of you around. He let you go and you were suddenly being pulled into hugs by everyone.

When you got to Robert, a proud smile was on his face as he cradled your face, “Sweetheart, that was amazing. You’ve outdone yourself.” He pressed a fatherly kiss to your forehead and pulled you into a hug.

“Thank you.” You laughed, your eyes welling up with tears once again. Next was Chris (E) who playfully shoved Robert.

“Stop it, you’re hogging her! Let me hug (y/n)!” He childishly whined. He gasped when he saw your eyes watering.

“And you made her cry! C’mere.” His arms enveloped around you as he hugged you tightly.

In your ear his whispered, “You absolutely killed it.”

You thank him and move on to Scarlett who already had her arms out for you, “Surprise!”

“This was your idea?” You asked her as she hugged you. A cheeky grin quirked on her lips.

“Maybe” she teased dragging the ‘e’. You hugged her again as she laughed into your shoulder.

“Thank you, Scar. This means so much.”

“It’s not a problem, honey. We just wanted to see you together while you did your thing up on stage.”

You were now full on crying through a smile as your Marvel family showed you mass amounts of love. You stumbled into Tom (Holland) who instantly grabbed you into a bear hug. Tom’s actually seen your show in London with his friends and brothers, so this was his second time seeing you perform.

“You know what’s so crazy?” He asked you leaning down to your ear so you can hear him.

“What?”

“It’s literally just as great as it was in London. Like everything looks the same, you sound exactly the same, everything! The show was fantastic!” He looked at you with wide eyes with so much amazement on his face.

You laughed at him and patted his shoulder, “Thank you, Tom.”

Suddenly there was a commotion a few feet away from you. You saw Robert standing on one of the cases your crew used to store equipment in.

“ATTENTION EVERYONE!” When everyone backstage was looking at him Robert sent them a sweet smile and was handed a megaphone.

“Alright, so I gotta say, (y/n), you definitely know how to throw a show. Everyone who was part of this tour, your hard work pays off because that show was the most fun I’ve had in a while! (Y/n), you keep surprising us everyday with your talent and I hope you get to do more of what you love in the future. As my way of thanking you all for throwing such an amazing night, I want to take out every single one of you for dinner! I just rented out a whole restaurant just for all of us and I hope to see all of you there!” Robert said into the megaphone. A round of cheers and claps were heard from everyone at the announcement. As everyone began to file out, you were being called to get out of your costume.

Before you can turn to leave you hugged Robert and looked at all your cast mates who showed up for the night.

“Thank you guys for being here, it really means a lot.” You sniffled, wiping a tear from your face.

“And you, I can’t believe you rented out a restaurant for my crew, thank you Robert.” The older man just waves you off as he slung his arm around your shoulder.

“Not a problem, sweetheart. We wanted to be here and we are all so proud of you, you’ve come a long way, (y/n).” He gave your shoulders a squeeze.

“Now run along now, you still need to get changed and I’m starving. Go.” He teasingly turned you towards your stylists. You rolled your eyes as you waved at all of them.

“We’ll see you at the restaurant!” You heard Brie yell after you. You quickly turn back, “OK, I LOVE YOU!”

The further you got you heard Evans scream, “I LOVE YOU TOO!” You turned down the hall, your laugh echoing against its walls.

That was definitely one way to end a tour.

[saltiestcoconut]

Thank you for tagging me @offlineblues !

Let's keep up the tradition and shove it under a read more lmao

I ain't gonna tag— fuck it @4lmog @shifuto get your asses in here you too @mewhoismyself

Last song:

Last movie/show:

(let's pretend that prev's last song didn't instantly make me crave listening to) MORNING LIGHT HYMNUS oh my god is this song such a banger and an absolutely gorgeous love song (it's perfectly named too since the song is dedicated to a character whose name means morning star) ugh this song is so raw it's hard to believe that it's one of belials theme songs of all things (granted it's avatar belials theme but it's still belial) with lyrics as raw as its too hard to describe the million lonely nights without you | someday we shall meet once more (how much longer must I wait?) | a sea of love, tides of hate lie before us / drown in my soul, give yourself all to me, and wander no more | I need you back besides me, hollow fool that I am | grant me just one wish I beg, please take your servant's hand... Oh my god just kill me now this is peak romance it speaks to my very soul imagine someone feeling that intensely for you . . . (Yes I wanted an excuse to talk about this song I just love it so much)

Favorite Color:

I have a few favorite colors like blue purple black white gold is a pretty color too there's a lot of pretty colors out there too it's on a case by case basis surely

I watched that demon slayer movie with my sister last month! Yay I actually watched something semi recently lmao (it was really fun she got us tickets to the 4D version (it wasn't in 3d unfortunately) where the chairs moved so I affectionately called it the rollar coaster simulator lmao) I should really watch the what fourth season? Sis and I were confused cause it literally opened in the middle of an arc so naturally we were missing some information lmao (can y'all believe my sis watched the newest season without me (again) unbelievable) other than that I think the last show I watched was go rush? My laptop is acting up so I can't watch shows even if I wanted to . . . (my charger broke too so I can't use it while charging even if I wanted to)

Sweet / spicy / savory

Def a big fan of spicy but I like savory and sweet things too I probably have a higher sweet tolerance than some people maybe idk my sweet dislikes is pretty long . . .

Relationship status:

It's complicated (the only thing complicated about it is my feelings about romance in general lmao)

Last Search:

Morning light hymnus pokemon legends arceus on eBay I wanted to check to see if the steel book is affordable (it is)

Current obsession:

Granblue Fantasy 100% it's consumed my life why must a gacha game beat out my card game (gacha) obsession it's kinda funny— within gbf itself the archangels and dragon knights definitely I love vane he's the best malewife (I can make a malewife out of lucifer or sandalphon five bucks) (belial is already a malewife don't gotta do anything to him it's in his being)

Wow I rambled a lot if you read through it all thank you for listening to my insane ramblings!

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER ASK GAME

tagged by @pocketsonny ♡ thank you!

i ramble on too much, so i'll make it a read more! here goes~

TAGGING in advance (if you want)

@armos @fleury @saltiestcoconut @gntk

Last Song

i've been listening to MMBN's OST for around 2 weeks straight. i would really like to play this game soon, since i bought the collection on sale for 50% off~ (looks at @pocketsonny who keeps nudging me to play as well by talking excitedly about it)

Net Battle and Fire Field are so good...

Favorite Color

i really like gray the most, i think. i really like rose pink, lavender and lilac purple, flowery yellow, and soft blue and mild green a lot as well! something like this?

i also love the colors of the sunrise, the sunset, and the galaxy

Last Movie / Show

the last movie i saw became my favorite movie! i watched it with @xx-moonluster-xx and @duelofai !

i had a lot of fun. Nausicaä's messages of decay and rebirth were so wonderful. also i love the gentle giant bugs and the extraordinary fantasy world they created (it was so beautiful and the OST is so good too)

otherwise, i've been rewatching FMAB in a group with 3 people after 12 years. it used to be my favorite series a long long time ago, so i'm really happy to watch it now that i'm older and understand the world from another perspective (and thus, understand and resonate with the grim reality this series often times presents)

Sweet / Spicy / Savory

Relationship Status

spicy, definitely! savory is always good! i'm not the biggest fan of sweet!

@armos and i celebrated our 10 years dating anniversary in January!!

Last Search

Current Obsession

definitely not the movie and show official art above—

this will be random, but, lots of people on twt have been posing and dressing up the new plush Yusaku, so i've been itching to see them in new and fun ways. isn't he adorable? i just want to squeeze him (shows you mine i bought for my partner)

additionally, i've been playing a lot of Blue Rescue Team again lately (i have almost 500 hours on record) because i'm trying to recruit them all! it's a bit of a task, though. there's tons of 1% encounters and they can take a long time to get lucky and join you. (pictured: me recruiting all 1% encounters at once in Howling Forest somehow)

[kinglazrus]

Deep Wounds Ch. 1 - Who's to Blame?

Phic Phight | Next | AO3 | FFN

Submitted by @q-gorgeous: Identity reveal. Dash finds out Danny is Phantom. Could be swagger bishie or not, either or is okay.

Submitted by @aj-itated: Dash catches Danny changing after gym, and spots a huge (poorly stitched) wound on his side. Dash is now convinced Danny is either abused or part of a gang, and has no idea how to deal with either - or how to interact with Danny, now that he can't bully him.

Summary: Dash didn't mean to see it, not that it was his fault. If Danny didn't want anyone to notice the bloody mess on his side, then he shouldn't be checking his bandages in the middle of the boy's changing room. But it's too late, and Dash has no clue what to do now that he thinks Danny might be getting hurt at home.

Word count: 4253

“He’s gonna know.”

As Tucker's shadow falls over him, Danny starts, rudely yanked out of his daydream. The hand cradling his chin drops to his lap, fingers brushing the grass, and he fixes Tucker with a confused glare. "What?"

"You are super unsubtle," Tucker says. "He's gonna knooow."

Tucker and singsong aren’t two words Danny would normally use together, but it is the best way to describe the lyrical bounce in Tucker's voice as he drops onto the grass. Too bad his musical prowess seems limited to teasing jabs and not the screeching caterwaul Danny usually associates with Tucker and singing.

"What are you talking about?" Danny asks, his annoyance mounting.

"Oh, come on." Tucker leans back and sweeps his arm out to the field, motioning to the warm-up game some of their classmates are playing, which Danny had been watching fervently until he was interrupted. His gaze skims over the scuffle taking place over the ball, settles briefly on Dash lounging in front one of the nets, then goes back to Tucker.

"I don't know what you mean," Danny says.

"Tucker, be nice. Don't tease the oblivious," Sam cuts in. Sitting on Danny's left, she is flipping through a book rather than watches the scrimmage. How she got the book past Tetslaff, Danny has no idea. Magic, maybe. The more likely answer is that Tetsflaff saw it and just didn't care since Sam one of the best students in their class.

Danny could never get away with it, though. "Seriously. What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh, poor Danny." Tucker tsks and shakes his head. "In time, you, too, shall mature enough to understand your own emotions."

"I'm mature enough to ectoblast you in the face," Danny says.

"That is literally the exact opposite of mature."

"You're the exact opposite of mature."

"Game time!" Tetslaff's bellow cuts off what surely would have been a clever retort from Tucker. Her booming voice, powerful enough to challenge Danny's father's, echoes across the field and brings the scrimmage to a halt. At the far net, Dash rises to his feet and brushes the grass from his shorts.

"Captains!" Tetslaff calls. Valerie and Dash's hands shoot into the air, faster than anyone else's. Sam, still focused on her book, raises her hand half-heartedly, then lowers it to turn the page. No one else offers to be team captain, but Tetslaff doesn't seem to mind. This is how their classes usually go when they do team sports. "You know the drill. Pick your players, take your positions, and for heaven's sake, someone take Fenton."

Snickers break out through the class. Danny drops his face into his hands, muffling a groan against his palms.

He hates gym class for a lot of reasons. For one, sports aren't really his thing. He might be strong, thanks to his ghost half, but that doesn't make him any better at sports. Because of that, he's usually the last picked when it comes to games like soccer. And then there's Dash, who sucks sometimes, but he used to suck more. A lot more. He has mellowed out since freshman year, although he's not opposed to jostling Danny in the hallway now and then.

But the absolute worst thing about gym class is playing when he's injured; it doesn't happen often. Danny's been ghost fighting for nearly three years now, and he doesn't get hurt as much as he used to. Experience has wizened him up to the wonders of dodging. His enemies still get lucky sometimes, though, and last night, Technus got him good. Hacking and slashing isn't usually Technus' thing, but the rabid dishwasher the ghost sicked on Danny was damn good at it. He has the deep slash across his left side to show it.

It's healing well, but a wound like that needs more than a few hours before he is back in peak condition. Sam, whose house was closest after the fight, stitched Danny up as best as she could. Both she and Tucker had gotten good at that over the years, but for all Sam's skill, she was still just a high schooler who learned off YouTube tutorials. Before bed, Danny bound the wound tight, took a couple of Advil, and slept with an icepack slapped against his side.

It still hurts like hell, though.

A sharp whistle pierces Danny's thoughts. He winces at the noise, along with most of the class. Dash and Valerie, the victims of Tetslaff's ire, actually flinch.

"Baxter, Grey, stop bickering," Tetslaff says.

Caught up in his thoughts, Danny hadn't noticed their argument, but it's impossible to miss the tight anger in Valerie's crossed arms or the annoyance in Dash's glare.

"Baxter, Grey made her pick. Mr. Cheong goes with her." Tetslaff points at Kwan, then jerks her thumb toward Valerie. With a despondent sigh, Dash pats Kwan on the back, watching his best friend trudge to Valerie's team as if he was going to his grave.

"They're so dramatic," Danny says.

Tucker nods in agreement. "I know, right?"

Sam lowers her book to stare at them. "You cannot be serious."

"What did we say?" Danny asks.

Sam sighs and rolls her eyes but doesn't elaborate further.

Back on the field, Valerie gestures to the dwindling number of classmates yet to be claimed. "Your next pick," she says to Dash.

Dash scans the lineup, his gaze lingering on Danny for a few moments before skipping right over Tucker to Sam. "Manson, you're with me."

"Ugh, of course." Sam marks her page and passes the book to Danny. "You gonna be okay? How's your side?"

He holds back a grimace. "I'm good. I'll tell Tetslaff I'm sick or something so I can sit out."

Sam nods, satisfied, and joins Dash's team.

"Tucker!" Valerie calls.

"Good luck, dude." Tucker gently pats Danny's shoulder before stepping onto the field.

With his friends gone, and the rest of the class distracted by the team pick, Danny shuffles over to Tetslaff. "I don't really feel good. Can I sit out?"

Tetslaff looks him up and down. "You gonna throw up?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"You got a fever?" Before Danny can even answer, Tetslaff slaps her hand against his forehead. He flinches back, wanting nothing more than to peel her warm palm off his skin. She holds it there for a few seconds before finally drawing away. "No fever. got a doctor's note?"

"Uh... no? I've been at school all morning."

"If you feel like you're about to throw up, book it off the field. Otherwise, you're playing."

"But—"

"Fenton, do you really want to be the only kid in Casper High history to fail gym class?" Tetslaff asks.

The threat might have been more effective if Danny hadn't spent half his high school career one bad grade away from flunking out, but he doesn't have the energy to fight her on it. "Okay, Coach."

"That's the spirit! Now get out there and show me some hustle!" Tetslaff slaps Danny on the back. He bites back a cry of pain as he stumbles forward, one hand shooting to cradle his side. Tetslaff's hand, though broad, missed the actual injury, but the sheer impact made his bones rattle and his wound flair with pain.

"Okay," Danny mutters. Just stay out of Dash's way and move enough to escape Tetslaff ire. It can't be that hard. He presses a hand to his side, feeling the thick gauze through his shirt. Closing eyes so that no one sees them glow, he phases his palm through his shirt and ices over his injury. The numbing cold helps, somewhat, and it should hold up for the whole class.

"I can do this." He falters when he steps toward the field. It looks like Valerie and Dash finished picking their teams while he was busy with Tetslaff and the game is already underway. He hovers on the sideline, unsure where to go.

"Getting worked up already?" Valerie's voice startles him.

Danny flinches and twists toward her, sending a sharp twinge across his ribs. He hisses, regretting the sudden move, and squeezes his side once more.

"You okay?" Valerie asks.

"Just fine. Sorry, what did you say?"

"You look like you're stressed out already. It's just soccer."

Danny rolls his eyes and nudges her arm. "Sure. Tell me that when Dash's team is up by five and I have stop you from kicking his kneecaps in."

Valerie laughs, no denial falling from her lips. "Oh, please. We both know I'd go for the throat. You're with me, by the way."

"Oh, thank God."

"Don't kid yourself, Danny. We both know you'd love to be on Dash's team."

Danny's mind blanks for a moment, his cheeks growing hot against his will. "Uh... what? He literally used to beat me up every day."

"Keyword, 'used to.' And I never said you had good taste." Valerie shrugs. "Except for me, at least. But don't worry about it. Now come on; I want you on defence. You suck at scoring, but at least you can take a hit."

Danny hopes he doesn't need to.

—

No hits come his way, to Danny's immense relief. At least they are playing soccer and not football. Or floor hockey, God forbid. Danny's ankles still smart from the last time they played that. With soccer, there's not a whole lot of opportunity for Danny to get knocked around. Stuck on defence, he even has an excuse to hang back, hold off on all that "hustle" Tetslaff wanted to see. His teammates charge up and down the field, shouting and jeering as they fight over the ball, and Danny gets to trail behind, halfway between the throng and his team's net. He spends most of his time watching Dash. Purely so that he's ready if Dash decides to go after him, not for any other reasons.

"Suuure that's the reason," Tucker says when he notices Danny staring.

"It is!" Danny's protest falls on deaf ears.

Dash catches Danny's gaze more than once. Rather than looking away, Danny can't resist offering a shit-eating grin and a friendly wave every time. If he had any self-preservation skills, he would stop immediately. But there's a reason he's half-ghost now, and it's definitely not because of his critical thinking skills.

He manages to stay out of the action, for the most part, only rushing in when the ball comes close to him. Otherwise, Tucker and Elliot handle the rest. Tucker knowingly spares him the pain of ripping his stitches. Elliot, meanwhile, likes to swoop in at every opportunity to show Danny up. It might have gotten a rise out of Danny any other day, but right now, when his side throbs every time he takes a step, Elliot is welcome to do whatever he wants.

When they have class outside, Danny can't tell how much time is left. He guesses they are about halfway through, and nothing bad has happened yet. Maybe he can get through this, after all.

That's when he jinxes himself.

"Heads up!" Valerie's warning shout comes just in time. Danny ducks instinctively, hissing when his injury pulls. The soccer ball flies over his head, skimming the top of his hair. Then, Dash collides with Danny, his shoulder digging into Danny's side. He cries out as he goes sprawling, hands shooting to his side. It burns, searing across his ribs, almost as bad as when he first got the wound. The pain makes his head spin and his breath ragged.

He must blackout for a moment, because one second his face is pressed against the cool grass, and then suddenly he's staring up into Tetsalff's concerned face, Valerie, Sam, and Tucker hovering behind her.

"Deep breaths, Fenton," Tetslaff says.

It would be great advice if breathing didn't make his chest expand, and his chest expanding didn't make the gash on his side strain against the few stitches that hadn't popped when Dash rammed into him at full speed. What the hell. That was such a dick move.

"Okay, Fenton. You're out for the rest of the class. Go to the nurse if you need to," Tetslaff says.

He nods but makes no move to get up. He doesn't know if he can.

Tetslaff sees his plight, whether she understands the reason for it or not, and barks over her shoulder. "Baxter! Your fault, your problem. Help Fenton inside."

"We can take him," Tucker says. At the same time, Dash whines, "Come on, Coach. There's no way I hit him that hard."

Tetslaff sticks out an arm, holding Sam and Tucker back. "Get to it, Baxter."

Dash groans but relents and steps into Danny's field of view. Rather than kneeling, or doing anything actually helpful, he bends down a little and sticks out his hand.

Danny stares at it.

"Well? You're holding up the game, Fenton."

Danny almost gets up on his own, just to spite Dash, but the second he tries to lever himself up, his side screams, and Danny has to bite back another cry of pain. Reluctantly, he grabs Dash's hand. Dash hauls him upright, far from gentle, and sets Danny down on his feet. Dash starts forward, but Danny hangs back.

"Hurry up," Dash says.

"Just... hold on a second." Danny squeezes his eyes shuts and clamps his hands against his side. The pressure helps, a little. If he's bleeding, it'll at least hide the evidence. He really hopes he put enough gauze on the wound. He didn't exactly think he'd be dealing with this today when he wrapped it.

"Dude, we can take you," Tucker says. He and Sam haven't moved away. Even Valerie still hovers close by, giving Danny a concerned look over his friends' shoulders.

"Manson, you're team captain until Dash gets back. Foley." Tetslaff shakes her head. "Your grades aren't much better than Fenton's here. Let's go, back on the field. It's game time.

"But—"

"It's fine, guys." Danny tries to smile, but he is sure it comes out like a grimace instead. Neither of them look like they believe him.

"Ms. Tetslaff!" Valerie steps in front of the teacher. "Danny's on my team. I want to make sure he's okay. Kwan can take over as captain for me."

"Okay, fine. Now let's get back to the game, people!" Tetslaff puts a hand on Sam and Tucker's shoulder each and pushes them toward the field. Over her shoulder, Sam mouths "Thank you" at Valerie.

"Can we just hurry up?" Dash says. Before Danny is ready, Dash's hand clamps down his shoulder and starts driving him forward. Danny stumbles, nearly tripping over his own feet, and is forced to open his eyes or else go tumbling all over again. Valerie appears on his injured side, walking fast to keep up with Dash's pace.

"Are you okay?" she asks. She reaches toward Danny, but holds back, her gaze flitting down to the hand over his ribs.

"Yeah, totally fine. I, uh, got caught up in that ghost fight yesterday, got a little bruised," he says.

"You should have told Tetslaff. She would have let you sit out," Valerie says.

"Yeah, I should have." Too bad Danny hadn't thought of that lie before. And it wasn't even a lie, technically.

The walk to the gym doors feels much farther than it did at the start of class. Dash yanks the door open once they're close enough and deposits Danny on the nearest bench. "There, you're fine. Whatever."

"Don't be such a dick, Dash," Valerie says.

Danny wobbles, bracing himself against the wall as he sits down. While Valerie helps, grabbing his arm and keeping him steady, Dash doesn't make a move.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asks.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna sit for a bit."

"If you say so." With one last concerned glance, Valerie leaves the gym.

Danny sits, one hand pressed against his side, feeling the deep, pulsing ache that won't leave. The ice he applied earlier hasn't faded yet, but if Danny's stitches are ripped as he suspects, a little numbing cold won't help for much longer.

Dash clears his throat, reminding Danny that he hasn't left yet.

"What?" Danny glares at him through half-lidded eyes.

"Sorry, or whatever. I thought you were gonna move, okay?"

"You sure sound sorry."

Dash bristles. "Whatever, Fenton. I was trying to be nice, but I guess I'll just fuck off then."

"Yeah, you do that."

Dash stomps out of the gym without looking back, slamming the door behind him. The bang echoes through the empty room. Alone at last, a whimper slips through Danny's lips. You would think that, over the years, he would get used to getting injured so much, learn to adjust to the pain. Whoever first said that was such a liar. It never stops hurting. Dizzying pain is dizzying pain no matter how often you experience it.

Danny sits for a few minutes, breathing slow and even, bracing himself for what he knows is coming. Peeling his hand away from his side, he checks his shirt. Faint pink splotches greet his eyes, not a lot, but enough to make him groan. He reaches under his shirt, slipping his fingers underneath the bandages, and probes the tender skin. His fingers come away slick and red.

"Shit." He applies a fresh coat of ice, enough to seal over the wound, and pushes himself off the bet, slick hand sliding against the wood. The entrance to the boys' changeroom lies only a few feet away, but it feels farther. He shuffles inside, bracing one hand against the wall. The hall leading in stretches for a good ten feet before cutting into a sharp right angle and opening into the main room.

The silence inside is just as oppressive as the quiet of the gym. Even though it's the middle of the school day, being here without the chatter of other boys as they change feels odd.

Danny lets himself slump onto the bench, breathing heavily

"I'm gonna kill Dash," he says to the empty room. But knowing his luck, Dash would come back as a ghost and haunt the hell out of him. It seems like the kind of asshole thing he would do

Danny fumbles for his bag, hooking his finger around the strap and dragging it close. It takes him a minute of digging to find his phone, which he stuffed inside at the start of class. He quickly checks the time. There are ten minutes left of class. More than enough time to check his side and get patched up before Tetslaff dismisses everyone to get changed.

The smart thing would be to go into one of the showers, make sure he has complete privacy, but he doesn't want to put in the effort of walking that far.

"It'll be fine," Danny says and gets to work

—

Dash doesn't return to the game. As the gym door slams beside him, he leans against the wall and stares down at his shoes. Outside, he looks composed, but in his head, his thoughts tumble about. He can't shake the image of Valerie's glare. Fenton couldn't take a hit, so what? It's not like Dash actually didanything. He's gotten Fenton a lot worse than that before. It's not his fault the guy was already banged up from some dumb ghost fight. Not his problem.

And yet, the pained cry as Dash bowled Danny over, the sight of his crumpled body on the grass... it makes Dash shudder.

"I apologized," he says. There's no one around to hear it, to justify him. He wonders what his therapist will say about this, if Dash bothers mentioning it at their next appointment.

Valerie's glare flashes through his mind again.

"Okay, fine!" He throws his arms up and shoves away from the wall. One quick moment to check on Danny, then he'll return to the game. He's only doing this so that his therapist doesn't give him that look on Monday; the look that isn't quite disappointed, because she could never be disappointed in one of her clients, but comes pretty damn close.

Dash only receives that look when he does something dumb, like shoving nerds in lockers or taking his anger out on someone else.

Dash eases the door to the gym back open and peeks inside. The bench he left Danny on is empty. A smear of red stands out against the pale wood. Dash creeps inside, closing the door quietly behind him. His heart sinks as he nears the bench, and comes to the unmistakable conclusion: blood.

Not my fault, Dash reminds himself. It does little in the way of reassurance. Walking briskly, he heads for the doors leading further into the school. If Danny is bleeding, he must have gone to the nurse. Which means he will be fine, but Dash needs to be sure.

A low groan stops him in his tracks.

For a moment, he thinks he imagined it, but then it comes again, accompanied by a pained hiss. The sound comes from the changing room. Holding his breath, he turns from the door and enters the changeroom.

Short, sharp breaths greet him, growing louder as he nears the main room. A shaky whimper cuts through, followed by a gasp.

Dash peeks around the corner. He sees Danny's shirt first, discarded on the bench. Next to it is a pile of wrappings. It looks like the ace bandages Dash uses whenever he gets a sprain, although he doesn't remember seeing Danny wearing any. And then, he looks to Danny himself and pales.

One arm drawn back, head tilted forward to see his side, Danny peels a stained gauze pad away from his bloody ribs. Suddenly, Dash can't breathe. His throat feels clogged. His heart hammers in his ear. The gash in Danny's side is easily the length of Dash's hand. It rips across his ribs and curves up toward his armpit, ending just under his arm. Dash doesn't know much about first aid, but the stitches holding the wound together look sloppy. They pull in different directions, turning what appears to be a clean cut into a wobbly mess. Around it, Danny's skin is stained red. Blood seeps between the stitches.

A few small drops slide down Danny's exposed skin as Dash watches, pooling briefly against the waistband of his gym shorts before they are absorbed

"Fuck," Dash whispers.

Danny jumps back, spinning mid-air to face Dash. In his horror, Dash doesn't think to question the impossibility of that action. Danny drops the gauze pad, which lands bloody side down on the floor, and clamps his arm down over the injury.

"What are you doing?" Danny's voice hitches, caught between an accusing growl and a startled squeak.

Dash gapes, mouth opening and closing as he searches for something to say. His mind comes up blank. "Danny, what... what the hell? What happened to you?"

Dash's voice seems to snap Danny out of his shock. All at once, his body goes rigid and his expression turns cold. "Get out."

"You need to go to the nurse!"

"DASH!" Danny bellows.

Dash stumbles back, falling against the wall. Tetslaff's laugh voice is loud. Jack Fenton's voice booms. But just now, Dash felt the floor shake under his feet. Danny's voice rumbled in Dash's chest, knocked him off his feet. The whole school must have heard it, they had to.

"I won't say it again. Get the hell out right now," Danny says.

Dash obeys. Whether it's out of fear or a genuine desire to follow Danny's will, he can't tell. He books it out of the changeroom, across the gym, and bursts outside, only to come face to face with Kwan and the rest of the class.

"Whoa!" Kwan reels back in surprise. "You missed the rest of the game. Val's team won."

"Oh, the game. Right." Dash takes a deep breath, struggling to get himself under control.

"So... you gonna let us in?"

Dash doesn't move.

"Get out of the way, Dash," Valerie says. Pushing to the front of the group, she tries to shove past him.

Dash leaps in front of her. "No!" He can't let anyone else see Danny.

"Dude, not cool. We want to check on Danny," Tucker says.

Dash wavers. Danny's friends have to know what's up with him, right? There is no way he could have stitched that up himself, not with how much struggle it took to even look at the injury. When Tucker and Sam slip by Dash, he makes no move to stop them. Their entrance opens the floodway, and soon enough everyone is pushing past Dash into the gym.

"Wait!" He latches on to Kwan's arm as his best friend passes.

"Did something happen?" Kwan asks.

Dash swallows, unsure how to answer. "Sort of?" Now isn't the right time to tell Kwan, though, not with their classmates around them, and the rest of their friends absent.

"Let's go get changed." Kwan pats Dash's shoulder and guides him forward. Every step closer to the change room, Dash's anxiety mounts. Danny reacted so poorly to one person finding him. Dash can only imagine what will happen—what stricken look Danny will wear—when half their class walks in on his shirtless and bloody.

Except, when they turn the corner into the change room proper, Danny isn't there. His stuff is gone, too. Tucker's crumpled gym shirt covers the spot where the gauze pad landed. There are no signs Danny was there at all.

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