#these kinds of convos make me self conscious at times too bc i used to watch movies with my mom as a kid | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ofgentleresolve-a · 4 years ago

Text

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. What does your muse smell like?

you know the regular head & shoulders dandruff shampoo one might normally buy? yeah most times that’s what lam smells like. pretty boring, but he makes a point to shower before going to work. now outside of the classroom is a more interesting story. since he lives with raphael, it’s not unusual for him to come out with a pungent smell as the result of some weird food combo ray made him try that he tried. the other alternative is that he smells like mulch and on a more metaphorical sense, sunlight?? dunno how that’s supposed to smell actually, but despite being a video game enthusiast, lam’s kinda like a plant in that sense. thriving in the sunlight actually.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

warm and dry! they might seem a bit more on the bony side just because he hasn’t quite mastered the art of self-care yet, BUT they’re nice and soft to hold for the most part. i’d say that there are a healthy amount of calluses on both hands just because long periods of holding writing utensils for grading and button smashing from video games and from gardening.

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

eeeeep, so you see, lam has this terrible habit of like forgetting to nourish himself simply because he got too invested in a. grading papers, b. whatever video game/plant that had his attention, or c. just some weird tangent he got himself into. it doesn’t help that he doesn’t know how to cook either. before becoming roommates with raphael, he had a lot of takeout- fries were a must, burgers, fried rice with broccoli and chicken. he went a lot to the nearby thai restaurant to get tom yam, pad thai, son yam, curry, and more of the thai variant. after he becomes roomies with raphael, his palate unintentionally gets a lot more varied as he and ray quickly come to an agreement- if lam is willing to do both of their laundry, then raphael will cook for both him and lam. and raphael has a wide palate, one day cooking risotto to the next day making nasi lemak or hainanese chicken rice. needless to say, lam’s been eating a lot better with raphael around, as the other also makes it a point to make food smell enticing enough to grab lam’s attention.

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

i guess he does?? he doesn’t really sing much but he might hum a tune or two. he’s never really asked for anyone’s opinion...i’d say his voice is more on the higher end of scale BUT he’s usually on softer side as well. he can probably hold a decent tune but don’t expect him to be getting any applause or special attention for it.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

lmao there’s a lot. first there’s the fact that he hasn’t quite mastered the art of self-care so there are periods of time where he might forget to eat...and sleep due to his work or whatever tangent has his mind occupied. if he hasn’t slept enough you usually tell by the number of cups of coffee he’s downed and also by the fact he’ll be able to fall asleep just about anywhere (standing up, sitting at a desk). he also get overwhelmed quite easily actually? like he might not look like it, but when he does get overwhelmed or stressed out, he’ll zone out even if he’s in convo with someone.

not sure if this counts as a bad habit, but he also really likes enclosed spaces. if he gets especially stressed out, he might just sit in closet to calm down. might even take a nap in there too.

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

it swings between college student look and business casual. as a teacher, he makes it a point to look at least somewhat put together- think button downs, blazers, with khaki pants. he wears a lot of turtlenecks too.

outside of work though, he’s a lot more casual. he likes his sweats and hoodies, he likes just a plain ol’ t-shirt/shirt. more athletic clothing one might say. the important part in both cases though is that he usually prefers long-sleeves to short-sleeves, largely due to the surgery scar he got from his accident. it’s not that he’s self-conscious about it, but more of that he doesn’t want it to draw attention from his students and acquaintances. that and he gets cold easily, even in the summer.

hair though, it’s pretty simple. shampoo everyday and comb it.

7. Is your muse affectionate? How much? How so?

with most people no. he keeps a physical distance especially with his students ( bc a teacher has to anyways ). he wasn’t raised in an especially physically affectionate household so he keeps decorum as his standby mode.

now with friends on the other hand, you wouldn’t think it of him, but he can be surprisingly very forward with it? like he has to be comfy with u which can be a process in and of itself, but once you have his trust, he’s the kind of person who will take a seat next to you and without any warning invade ur personal space ( if you tell him you’re uncomfy tho, he’ll keep that in mind ). very clingy as well- lots of tugging on shirts to stay. he doesn’t like being alone with strangers so if u take him to a party, he’s more than likely to cling to the one person he knows.

romantic ( platonic ) partners on the other hand, now he’s like super touchy and affectionate there. lots of cuddling and ‘no stay here, i need a furnace warmer pls’ if there ever comes a time where lam gets a ship, pls know he is a koala bear.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

definitely on his side/fetal position! to be more specific, he always sleeps on his right side so that his bad arm is resting against the mattress. that’s both for practicality reasons and safety reasons- wouldn’t want that bad arm in the line of fire after all. i will say though, if he’s sleeping next to a romantic (or platonic) partner, he will curl in against them, fit into any space next to them. when possible he likes falling asleep in small spaces.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

good question. is he playing video games? no? then probably not. i’d say even though he’s more on the quiet side, he has no problems with speaking up especially in academic settings. volume wise, he tends to fall more on the softer side so occasionally, he’ll be asked to repeat himself. he’ll often use this to his advantage when it comes to troublesome students/people in general. now if he’s playing video games, that’s a different ball park- he can very into them...that’s when you might be able to hear him from another room :D

Tagged by: @astralglam ( THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving me an excuse to talk about my hot mess dummy son!! )

Tagging: @shamsgoddess @wraithsea @bethelbound @bloodxhound @phantombs @kwatregats ( for teo! ) @risinglegacy ( for dion! ) and uh, anyone who feels like getting into the physical deets about their muses today!!

#( dash games: lamon. )#( headcanons: lamon. )#this was fun to think about!!

4 notes · View notes

kylorenpunk · 6 years ago

Note

Payback is a bitch. Do them all.

“itAy thanks for curing my evening boredom

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I think it was my friend Elli during a service project or my friend when we went to the movies (we occasionally pretend we’re a couple when we go to the movies lmao)

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy. It was super hard to make friends during grade school. But if you put me with the right people I can be outgoing. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My friend group tomorrow. I think we’re playing smash again? 4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so? I have no idea tbh. I know I was a bitch when I was younger though. Hopefully I don’t put off those vibes now 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

The only time we interacted I was drunk so no lol. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Tattooed, nerdy vibes, can make me laugh, nice eyes, idk I just like guys ok7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

HA. Nope. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Romantically? or friendship? Also bold of you to assume whoever does these are straight. To answer, my friends who are all homies. 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Depends on the subject. I am always down to make sex jokes but don’t fucking tell me the shit you did with your SO the other night.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I’m always down for deep convos tbh so I do this frequently. I think the last full length deep convo I had was with Jessica though? 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“LMAO” to Joey bc I rick rolled his ass. Bitch apparently I’m always texting you? 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

According to spotify it’s: Alexander HamiltonGoodbye Yellow Brick Road (Sara Bareilles’ cover) When I Was Your Man (Aaron Tveit’s cover) The Greatest Show The number one song is one I don’t listen to any more so I’ll replace that with the song I’m listening to “How Far I’ll Go”

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

God yes. That’s the BEST feeling. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Not really miracles. But I do believe in luck in a sense 15. What good thing happened this summer?

My birthday. Going to Chicago. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Sure I’ll kiss my mirror again. Sorry y’all I don’t kiss and tell.17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Absolutely.18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

I have had so many I don’t remember my first crush. And I know for a fact I didn’t start talking to crushes till the middle of high school19. Do you like bubble baths?

No I hate baths. I think it’s gross. 20. Do you like your neighbors?

I like their dogs. Especially the beautiful pit I get to dog sit 21. What are you bad habits?

I get very nervous very easily. I’m unsure of myself. I’m also messy.22. Where would you like to travel?

New York and Europe 23. Do you have trust issues?

Who doesn’t? 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

When I go to sleep.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My stomach. 26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check my phone. It’s really bad. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Neither. I like my skin color even though I’m pale as fuck. 28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I’ll have to say my friends Yara and Josephine. Love all my other friends and no offense to y’all I’m just really self conscious 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

LMAO one basically did the other day. At least he regrets how he treated me. That’s some tea. 30. Do you ever want to get married?

Hell yeah. Am I currently ready for it? Hell naw. 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

She’s too long. I really want to cut her but that costs money. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Chris Hemsworth and Anne Hathaway. Or Vanessa Hudgens33. Spell your name with your chin.

done. That was strange? 34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I did soccer for one season when I was 6. I spent most of the time playing with my hair. That was the end of my athletic career. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV bc we have netflix and hulu 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Tons of times. It’s my brand. 37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I’ve been doing shitty mouth pops recently. I also start rambling about my day.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Someone that puts up with my bullshit 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

TJ Maxx. Ulta. Target. I don’t shop often. 40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m outta that shit hole. Have been for 5 yrs. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Of course. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m listening fully and don’t really have anything to contribute yet. 43. Do you smile at strangers?

Working at a hotel has forced me to. I hate it. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPACE MOTHERFUCKERS - the ocean freaks me out45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Needing to pee, hunger or work 46. What are you paranoid about?

EVERYTHING. Mainly the future tho 47. Have you ever been high?

Nah. Not opposed to it though. 48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yep. I get really touchy. It’s weird. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Stalk people’s social medias? 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Grey 51. Ever wished you were someone else?

I wish I was Vanessa Hudgens. 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I won’t write it here 53. Favourite makeup brand?

NYX. Cheap and good. 54. Favourite store?

Target 55. Favourite blog?

My own. 56. Favourite colour?

Pink or Green. Depends on the day.57. Favourite food?

Anything with pasta or rice 58. Last thing you ate?

pasta 59. First thing you ate this morning?

beef jerkey. I have weird cravings60. Ever won a competition? For what?

For being the world’s most emotional bitch 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Hell no. Stay in school kids. 62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope.63. Ever been in love?

Yep. Still don’t kiss and tell. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I know I just said I don’t kiss and tell but this isn’t talking about the person. Wet. Gross. Sloppy as fuck. They were shit at kissing. 65. Are you hungry right now?

Nah. 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I have one tumblr friend. He’s a pal. 67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Twitter. I’ll make one for this blog soon. 69. Are you watching tv right now?

No I’m listening to Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson. 70. Names of your bestfriends?

Kim, Michelle, Jessica71. Craving something? What?

Nothing. 72. What colour are your towels?

Pink and green72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

It used to be two until I got a new giant pillow this week. 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have them. I don’t sleep with them. 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Four. I just counted. 75. Favourite animal?

Meerkats 76. What colour is your underwear?

Pink. 77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Strawberry79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Grey and pink 80. What colour pants?

Dark grey and green - I’m in house clothes I don’t match 81. Favourite tv show?

Jane the Virgin 82. Favourite movie?

Hairspray 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls. The second one was trash 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Bruce87. First person you talked to today?

Joey?88. Last person you talked to today?

Joey. What the hell. 89. Name a person you hate?

Hm they don’t need their name here90. Name a person you love?

My brother91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Someone from work 92. In a fight with someone?

Nah I don’t deal with that bs 93. How many sweatpants do you have?

None. I do leggings tho ( I think I have 7 or 8)94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

2 hoodies 95. Last movie you watched?

The Green Book96. Favourite actress?

Anne Hathaway? 97. Favourite actor?

Mark Hamill 98. Do you tan a lot?

I burn a lot. I’m pale99. Have any pets?

No 100. How are you feeling?

Alright. Kinda pumped bc my fav cover of Come Together came on (from the Justice League movie)101. Do you type fast?

Yes but this is still taking me a while to get through 102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Hell yeah. No tea is being spilled tho103. Can you spell well?

If I have a pen and paper I’m decent. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I miss some ppl yeah. Adulting sucks bc you can’t see everyone all the time105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Lol that was the only rebellious thing I would do in high school 106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Not that I know of? 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes I love horseback riding 108. What should you be doing?

Studying for the GRE109. Is something irritating you right now?

Boring drama stuff. I won’t go into details. I’ll get over it. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Everyone has. 111. Do you have trust issues?

Sis you already asked this. Yes. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My mom? I was crying bc I could fit into old shirts 113. What was your childhood nickname?

Family calls me Kari. Friends call me Rina114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yep. Last month. 115. Do you play the Wii?

We play Netflix on the wii116. Are you listening to music right now?

“I am Woman” by Jordan Sparks 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Only from a can. I hate soup. 118. Do you like Chinese food?

Fuck me up with crab rangoons 119. Favourite book?

Eragon120. Are you afraid of the dark?

I don’t like not being able to see. So sure. 121. Are you mean?

I’m a dick to those I care about. Sorry. 122. Is cheating ever okay?

Absolutely not. Dump their ass. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Nope. 124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe in infatuation at first sight125. Do you believe in true love?

Not sure 126. Are you currently bored?

I was till I started this 127. What makes you happy?

anime, superheros, nerdy shit, music and makeup 128. Would you change your name?

No. I used to want to as a child. 129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer. 130. Do you like subway?

No. It’s gross. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Politely decline132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Already answered. 133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“Yoko Ono, she got that Yoko OnoYou know that shit that made John Lennon go soloKnow that shit gotta be lethalIf that pussy broke up The Beatles” - Jay Z

Murder by Justin Timberlake (Featuring Jay Z)134. Can you count to one million?

I could. I don’t want to though.135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Not sure. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed. 137. How tall are you?

Five foot. Three inches. 138. Curly or Straight hair?

My hair is wavy. I like both.139. Brunette or Blonde?

I’m a brunette140. Summer or Winter?

summer141. Night or Day?

day 142. Favourite month?

october143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope but i’ve considered. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark chocolate. I’m old. 145. Tea or Coffee?

tea - coffee gives me the shits 146. Was today a good day?

It was decent. 147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars148. What’s your favourite quote?

“It’s not who we are underneath, it’s what we do that defines us.” - Batman Begins 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes and No150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)

GRE prep book “Directions:” It said more but my fingers hurt from typing all day.

#me #about me #ask #I underestimated this #I'm sorry mason

4 notes · View notes

wooahaes · 2 years ago

Note

hiiii! i absolutely adore enouement & lhc and i was wondering if you were planning on making it a whole series? with each of the boys? i honestly really enjoy the universe you made and the whole dynamic between each of the character. i also really enjoyed a chubby reader that is about other insecurites rather than their weight. it was refreshing!! i'm not trying to pressure you or anything i am just really curious. i do really enjoy your writting :D <3

so im kissing u on da mouth rn for this ask /j

first of all i wanna say it: ur so sweet!!!! thank u for enjoying my writing!! it means a lot <3

aaa okay so fun fact.... i had like... two more fics kind of planned for tht universe? one was another chubby reader w vernon (i think i've talked abt it before maybe?) and another was a gn!reader with dino where they were fake dating. vn fic has more planned for it as of rn (it kinda deals w some fatphobia n body image issues that arent exclusive to reader!!) and genuinely feels like a slightly heavier read? but its still something i'd enjoy writing lol

like at one point in lhc i mention seungkwan having to give up movie tickets and chan immediately snatches them up bc the other two ppl were vernon and a friend? that friend was gonna be the reader of dino fic!! they're friends lol the entire premise was "ppl gettin fuckin NOSY abt chan not dating anyone so he pitches the idea to his friend with a plan to stage a breakup later and whoops idiots fell for each other" bc im a cliche bitch!! which tbh could work as a later fic if i decided to write more members before then bc i could hit maybe on the pressure of dating someone when ur friends all start getting together w ppl. theres less planned for this one (i wanted to finish planning vn fic since chronologically it happens after lhc but before dino fic) but i did have like. a long convo planned out of chan dumping reader bc he caught feelings and his friends confronting him over it.

im not sure if i'm 100% down to write a fic for each member but like... i do genuinely rly like this universe? i'd have to keep track of how much time has passed between fics tho since LHC takes place a few months after enouement and untitled vernon fic takes place like... the following fall? im using western school year shit sue me lmao

but i'd at least be interested in doing it!! idk if i'd do multi-part fics for ever member or if i'd go back to a longfic like enouement for a few of them. i feel like there's def potential for more set in the universe! esp considering the number of members still in school lmao

like im open to a fem!reader in general. im open to more fem!chubby readers bc i rarely find those fics myself and im happy to help other ppl in my boat like... find representation written specifically for them yknow? but im also open to more gn!readers for the saga? i think i'd def want a balance in there ykno if im gonna write more fem!reader fics. i wouldnt want every fic to be fem!reader bc i feel like thats unfair to ppl who dont identify that way yknow?

also idk just know it like... genuinely means a lot to hear feedback on lhc and ppl who are glad i wrote a chubby reader whos insecurities arent fully abt her weight? lhc didnt really net that much attention which is fine lmao i really don't write for the attention i'm getting otherwise i'd write for a bigger group too. its just nice to know that other people also were kinda bothered by the way chubby reader fics default to the "im insecure bc im not hot :(" mentality since imo being chubby is like... way more than that. it just weirdly reinforces the idea that we should hate ourselves and our bodies for just existing.

like. vernon fic would have a chubby reader who deals with body insecurities but its more so "people are harassing me now bc of my body and its making me self conscious after i finally thought i grew past hating myself" than just the generic "i think i am ugly :(" feelings if that makes sense? also theres a reason for that harassment (this fic was Also once a smau like lhc was). like i said, kind of a heavier fic compared to lhc.

anyway ill stop rambling but to answer ur question for good: im interested! nothings really on the table outside of vernon + dino fics, but im def interested >:3

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon

1 note · View note

souljournaler · 3 years ago

Text

shadow check-in

here's some notes from checking in with my shadow. they've been a bit loud lately, & it's starting to become distracting. this is our conversation. I'm blue, shadow is red

whoa hey that's a lot of space you're taking up in here

and whose fault is that?

yeah ok well there's a lot of stuff happening right now in the world thats stressful

yeah well u can't save everyone

I'm not trying to save everyone

sure jan

so what's up? you seem to need my attention a bit more right now

you can't just pop in to say hi?

I'm literally doing that right now actually

ok ok ok so listen listen

fuck you

please tell me what's up

(career doubts due to feelings of personal inadequacy) & (fear of f*sc*st p*l*ce st*te)

idk why you even bother with a career, the collapse of the empire is coming. besides, no one wants your advice, & you've got no other skills. why would people keep you around when everything is going to shit? especially when u benefited from oppressive systems for so long & even strived for a seat at their table? do you even deserve to stay around?

man you know like most of that isn't true, but do i hear you're afraid of being abandoned by people you love who you've put a lot of energy into building relationships with. why do you think they'd abandon you? we have lots of cool friends who have stayed around they all the hard times.

no YOU have friends that love YOU. and theyre only going to stay until things get TOO bad, and then theyll decide we're a lost cause. especially when they see me

we're the same person mate. & the lads have seen you. & theyre still around

most ppl leave though

and plenty will. it sux but it is what it is. you of all people know better than anyone we can't please everyone, where's that energy now?

ok ok shut up fuck you, i get it

ok i have a question for you now

ya?

why are you afraid that something is gonna take over that we can't control?

cuz it might make me do something that scares other people, & you'd never let me hear the end of it if that happened. you'd probably even tell me it was our fault.

lol thats true. you already scare people enough without being hijacked by a scary entity though, so what's the problem?

LOL thats true. i wouldn't want to accidentally hurt someone though

again, you already do that without being hijacked

fuck ok yeah ig thats tru. i just would rather have my wits about me if I'm gonna do something stupid.

i feel like not being conscious or fully in control of your actions is probably a good excuse though if something were to happen

dude

why not

dude. autonomy

so you'd rather actually choose to hurt someone while fully present for your mistake?

that's kind of warped. is it a choice if it's an accident?

hm. guess not. is it really an accident if you choose to do the thing that caused it?

i think you just answered your question

so you'd channel again? full shift?

I'd like to. i don't really have an occasion though

you don't really need an occasion

i feel like i need an occasion

why

...

you could just be chilling

who would i even channel?

you could channel me ��

i could. what would you have us do?

[redacted]

ok see, that is exactly why im afraid of full shift channeling, cuz you might do some shit like that!

I'm just kidding! unless...?

no. no [redacted] yet

yet!!!

yet. see this is why i have to rely on our higher self so much

i actually think [redacted] is a good idea if you're trying to [redacted]

please don't, that's really not helping right now

right right, ok, bye

bye

bye bitch

so you're afraid that whatever spirit we channel is gonna exploit my energy to make you do stupid shit?

yes

lol, again, u dont need me to do stupid shit, you'll do that all on your own

thanks

i just mean, the fear is pointless. at the very least, you don't have to be afraid of me, specifically, making you do stupid shit. you stop me all the time, even when our state of consciousness is hella altered. i TRY to get you to do stupid shit while we're out of it. sometimes i succeed, but if we end up too fucked up, even when you're literally unconscious, you know who steps in every time?

higher self?

higher self. remember that time we were drugged?

yes. i mean no. but yes

the driver's seat was wide open then. & higher self stepped in to protect us

that's nice of them

yes. "nice." 😬 anyway i can't rly answer for other spirits outside of us, since i still always have u falling for my bullshit (lol btw. you have GOT to stop doing that, or keep doing it, idc) but i think we're stronger than you give us credit for. between me & higher self, we wouldn't let anything happen to us. you need to trust us more.

ok. that's actually really nice, shadow. thanks

yeah, you know, it's just true, ok? you don't have to thank me for stating a fact

shadow you know you can just take the compliment right?

fuck you. anyway just, if you wanna channel, just do it

but ppl might think im weird & crazy!

ppl literally already think you're weird & crazy, get over it

you know we care a lot about what ppl think.

no. we don't. we care about someone sending cops after us.

ok true. what do you say about that tho?

easy, don't talk to cops

yes bc that's SO easy in these united states of america

ok ok, i hear you. so let's think, what IF the cops came to get us for channeling? all someone would have to do is claim you're violent or a danger to urself & others, then what? death by cop?

that's the fear, yup

what, so you're afraid of being murdered by a cop?

yes

hm. well, i would just [redacted] in that case

which would probably get us killed faster, actually

maybe! ok probably. what if they took us though? what would happen then?

probably a mandatory 72 hours, maybe longer if they wanted to keep us locked up

& we've gotten thru that before, right?

right. it's worse now though than when we were a teen

what are you afraid of there? other than being held against our will longer than the mandatory 72 hours, of course

you know, same shit grandma went thru. sedation, r*pe, & shock "therapy"

why would they do that to us though?

idk, i might not be able to mask that long & have a meltdown or smth. also not much we could do if one of the employees was a r*pist.

ok yeah that would suck. how likely is that actually, though? or are you just scared because of confirmation bias?

probably confirmation bias.

ok well then maybe realize that's not a likely enough scenario for u to spend so much energy on a block of fear like that. we don't need it right now. if it ever becomes useful, it'll still be here for one of us to put it back. but for now, what do you want to do?

i want to be able to channel again, full shift

ok then. I'll hang onto this block until we need it, if ever. ok?

thanks. i know you & higher self will keep me safe

yeah, whatever. you'd better.

ok im a bit tuckered out from that. good convo though, i think

toodles

Sol

#journal #shadow work #channeling

0 notes

flowers-in-your-dustbin · 7 years ago

Note

All the numbers again (second tag reblog)

1: When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal cause I like to drink it!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yeah, but when I can get into the warmth after that's even better!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I try to remember the page number instead so usually end on a multiple of 10 or 5.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea: Two sugars, milk, hopefully brewed by the gal. Coffee: I don’t!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Kinda!

6: do you keep plants? Nope!

7: do you name your plants? None to name!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Oils if I had the money for that so typically watercolours

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I am right now.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Typically side, but back is fine. Not stomach really!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Oh My Gouda.

12: what's your favorite planet? Uranus ;)

13: what's something that made you smile today? My gal surprised me with a beautiful orchid

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Edgy expose brick aesthetic

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Uranus’ blue glow is due to an abundance of methane which filters out red light.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti carbonara probs! Especially cooked by the best.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don’t! I did want pastel pink in August.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I had a paddy fit in primary school because I used to always sabotage my meals so I didn't eat them but I spilt milk on something I legitimately didn’t mind having... I cried over spilt milk.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do! I write the days events and my feelings, I draw key points or little objects. Not all the time tho.

20: what's your favorite eye color? A nice hazel-y to chocolate amber brown woop

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. A grey Kanken Fjallraven, if Switzerland counts as hell, there you have it.

22: are you a morning person? Yeah! I’m straight too!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Exactly that, nothing. With a side of music.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Only the one.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned slaughterhouse. Soz vegans

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Black old skool vans hehe original

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Strawberry!

28: sunrise or sunset? Why not both in a day?

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? I’m not sure!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? I’m not sure, close calls/

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks. Weird socks are fun. So are odd ones. I do not sleep with my socks, nor do I confine myself to white sock hell.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. We had deep convos for the time, we probs cried, then probs went to sleep.

33: what's your fave pastry? Uh choux just cause I can remember that is one. Hahahaha.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had one called Baxter Bear which was the best, he was quite obviously a bear with a red scarf and his own passport. I threw up on him in the car and he was never the same again, he disappeared short after. Don’t ask about Scrubs the dog.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do, I just don't use them often.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? The xx

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? A healthy middle.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Couldn’t possibly. There’s a fair few.

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black? Emo ik.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a necklace I got for my 16th its very cute and only comes out when I have heterosexual days to masquerade it. It’s nice.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, it’s my favourite ever. I don’t read as much as I used to, sigh.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! There’s a cute local one. They do unreal Nutella pancakes and its quite central and very aesthetic-y. Yum!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My gal, typically on the way to my car where I point out Orion or The Dipper. It’d be nice to do it properly sometime.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Two days ago.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? When I need to.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Someone mentions a dog, then I normally incorporate the word ‘ruff’ as a homophone for ‘rough’ and get death stares. But I like it.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Gherkins.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Abandonment/loneliness hahahah yes it is.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I do like buying records yeah! I can’t say until April the 23rd but I’ll have bought another by then.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? I don’t think I do have anything odd!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Uncomfortable by Wallows, as well as Fast Food by D.I.D and many many more.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? The new Patrick one is doing pretty good.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Nope, nope, nope and nope!

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog. I didn't walk him.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Hahahah you wouldn’t want to know.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Feeling secure with them, if you get me.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? CAN YOU DO THE FANDANGO!?!?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? K is probs the wine mom bc I'd say A but she’s not as sensible, thus A gets the Aunt role.

59: what's your favorite myth? Bulls hate red, they’re actually colour blind lmao.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t mind a bit of poetry! Marking Time by Owen Sheers is noice.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Me and mum put a fancy brooch in a pack of digestives for someone. I’ve received stupid spellings of my name on the birthday cards.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Rainbow order woop.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yep!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Cutesy and white and blue and stuff idk. But I wouldn't wear one haha.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Serene! Albeit Silent Hill-esque

68: what's winter like where you live? Fun! Cold! Disruptive!

69: what are your favorite board games? The Game of Life/Monopoly/Articulate!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope!

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? English Breakfast, brewed by the girlfriend.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? I've been known to be.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Overthinking. Nail biting.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Ginger.

75: tell us about your pets! A doggo! A beagle! and a fish...

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Revising!

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? anyone in the fanclub needs natural selection to do its thing.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Surprised me at work with flowers.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? White, because I’d like grey but we haven’t got there yet or painted the house since its still pretty new.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. I don't have the time for that shit.

82: are/were you good in school? I was! I still think I am! Who knows.

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Smithsmithsmithsmithsmiths

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Yeah! Quite a few. All tonal, but above all a Venus sign and more importantly the great wave off Kanazawa by Hokusai

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don't fun fact I used to read them start to feel sick.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I feel stupid for not knowing what they are.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Donnie Darko.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not Gothic. Can’t go wrong with a bit of impressionism.

89: are you close to your parents? I think. Depends on the time of day.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Starts with E, ends in Dinburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere abroad really, just a couple of good cities.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Barely sprinkles, but I have a drowner with me to compensate.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. Full stop.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My girlfriend’s. mum!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work, a party, a Harry Potter film, a sad Sunday.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I leave them for as long as possible

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ENFJ/Pisces/Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Hah idk.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Nude - Radiohead is the one I’m thinking at the mo’ and I can’t think past that.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future. Don’t need to lament on the past when I hope I have a good one ahead of me. Then from there I'd click 5 back so I’m right back to where I am, cheers.

1 note · View note

followyourtruthandlove · 7 years ago

Text

Saturday, January 20th: Steve Tannen

(The Weepies)

What compelled him to begin in the first place:

1. Love of music

2. Wanting to write the music, or needing to write

Leonard Cohen lyric “You don’t really care for music do you?”

Not everyone Loves music

(*** Right, wow. So true. And also…Hallelujah)

Ecstatic moments

Memories connected to music

From those moments came what he was trying to connect with this whole time

Memories- related to music. With music. (**Yes. Yes. **)

Didn’t know option be singer songqriter musician

Bc not seen or given as option growing up

No one tells a kid they can be that

But everything was pointing to it always

(**again yes yes**)

Brothers old 5 string guitar out of tune was how his style came to be

Changing melody bc different voice

Poems to music

Trying to do what other people did that made me feel good, badly (music) that who he was emulating badly (((Yes. Yes.)))

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentameter)

(((GOOGLE: “Deb Talan & Steve Tannen began writing together the night they met in 2001 at Club Passim in Cambridge. Their band's name, The Weepies, is inspired by the term used for old movies that are guaranteed to deliver a good cry, an effect that's certainly true of their subtly intoxicating folk-pop (though they're often tears of joy.) “... WOWWOW)))

4 chords from musician living in mom’s basement teaches him and then he realizes he can do in any way he wants

Revelatory (***oh this word right here***)

Collaborating together is trusting someone

Enough to bounce your ideas off of

Self-critical/ together

Good to have someone you trust

Collaborative process

(AH) Bravery it takes to put yourself out there like that

(((Googling Downtime: https://www.417mag.com/calendar/?search=&category=Music#event-listing ))) ((No other “luck”))

((Wait wait maybe American Beauty?))

(((AH had to get through the fear and moment of terror to get to the next step, had to go through that)))

Challenge he and his wife have for each other

Ex. Open thesaurus point to a word choose a near rhyme, that’s your chorus

Ex. Sit at piano while watching Ghandi opening scene with sound off and write

Edie Carey

(Love that she is doing hers outside)

(Group with AH “Live from New York” ended up being for singer-songwriters)

“Isn’t it funny how that can happen…there’s so many Blanks that have yet to be filled in”

Ani Difranco- That moment – in tears

Realizing she wanted to do this

Gateway artist was Shawn Colvin (saw at 15)

Then always listened to famous people, creating dance routines etc.

Seemed so far away, couldn’t see how to get to where they were

Then when seeing Ani, she was close-up and attainable

Amazing- far from her in terms of skill

But close in proximity- 3 feet a way

Alewaysd loved writing words

If able to work at it, figure out how to play instrument

Can marry singing (always had been a singer) with playing and writing

Was able to see self performing from there

(AH relating – saw WHITNEY HOUSTON ?!?!?! o.m.g. to the unth. Wow. Sync

Thought about how she could never do that)

Felt far like some other creature

(AH saw Indigo Girls liked what they wrote about, liked thinking about what they wrote about in own inner life can help others with their inner life)

Humanness to singer-songwriters

You hear them play this transcendent music

Blows your mind

Followed by humor and/or personal stories (ex. What they had for lunch that day)

Being up close and personal

Close to other human being

Sing magical

Duality

All at the same time

Allows to connect

Care about what those are writing about

( I ) can write about things that are meaningful to me

Singer songwriter music lets you in in an intimate way

Sees fearlessness in self as coming from lack of a filter

Cries when hits on Truth even in happy songs

At least at some point

If she doesn’t cry feels like job isn’t done

Cries= knowing that it’s true

(Emo pain can show up in body ex. Sinus infection-psych related)

( AH: Feeling in people are buried songs bring up and out

Can be scary- do I really want to feel this on the way out

Vs. just thinking picking old scab

Tool for healing)

Writing for selves (Freudian slip?) all of my selves

Has to be feeling it truly- whether reliving past or present

Always helpful

Often tend to be pressioned- (sp.)

Songs telling about things that are going to happen that she is not ready to deal with yet

Some direction or decision, the songs know before she does sometimes

(AH- Learns about self and own interiority through writing in a way that can’t be accessed elsewhere. Engaging in music draws it out of you)

Magic component

Music component can be unconscious in so many ways allows for it to be birthed out of you

In ways that can’t be done in convo with friend

“Mary Gauthier says cocktail conversation”

(“Songwriting: proceed with caution “- AH, “may accelerate person growth”)

Get out of the way bc things are happening before we even realize it

If a song is asking to be written you have to write it

Don’t have to play it

Even if for simply for exercise of writing it

Or experience of healing or revelation or whatever is going to come from it

Gets up really early to start day by writing

Quiet with clear mind to write, an accomplishment for the day

Did “Artist’s Way”- manifesting creativity in your life

Morning pages- before you even put your feet on the floor

Like Draino-ing all the stuff in your head

Loss being freeing

Painful but liberating

Ability to move on, move forward.

Advice: Write lots and lots and lots of songs

Even if meh

Keep digging

Just worry about writing great songs

The kind that make you fall apart in the most beautiful day

Work your butt off

Write true songs

Be true and real, can’t go wrong

People will be drawn bc people will see themselves in them

Has a cheese bar. As in puns etc. Vs. a sad bar (limit)

But write it anyway and then edit

Don’t be editor all the time, wants to open the door

Won’t edit words into metaphor

Lets go bc hasn’t tapped into Spiritual, Universal River that all artists swim in

Need to get there, can’t technical his way into it

So goes back to the river

Getting to the river…Writing, doing.

There’s a sense of connection sort of with have a Home life and kids that fills up some of the insane need for connection that fueled his early writing binges

Some of the fire has changed over time into a slower burning flame

(AH Hammering away…economy of language,

When collaborating and giving feedback-

More often they come from subconscious place

But some are conscious

Regrets more conscious choices

Don’t worry about what the world has to say about where you are or how you are doing it

Just do it, you know you have to do it anyway so just do it.

(“Horrible Failure- living on brothers couch, deb at starbucks)

William Carlos Williams greatest poet American ever produced- and it’s bc he wrote everyday

Being with a writer/ partner can’t imagine one who doesn’t do it- write all the time and see things in that way and in their head by being in the world that way- bc they get it they get eachother and eachother’s “zoning out” bc rhyming/writing in their head and/or finding scraps of paper everywhere.

(AH: Hotel New Hampshire get obsessed and stay obsessed. Great place to put obsessive qualities)

Persist in failure, persist in obscurity, persist in success, persist in failure, persist in obsurcity- Robert Fripp

Arc/art of the artist

Different advice depending on where you are:

If in the

Beginning- don’t be afraid to copy and find out exactly what they did

In singing along you will find your own voice- (who he is sneaks in…sometimes (((yes. Yes.))) )

Had quit writing, someone he dearly loved came over and told him why a failure because not like Cole porter or Robert Johnson writer…

Told he was too complicated, too wordy, too in love with himself, you think your experience is everybody else’s.

A lot of people who become actors or artists have someone in them says “oh yeh” where someone told them no …

(((Gosh I want to be like them. Like that, Love. How wonderful.)))

0 notes

foolishbelievers · 8 years ago

Text

Russell Dickerson 1/29/17

So I was originally supposed to go with my best friend to this “Country Brunch” thing with Russell performing. She couldn’t go, so my mom was going to come with me, and then she was sick today so my dad came just so I wouldn’t have to venture through NYC alone lmao. I could have, but it’s not appealing, and I don’t get to spend much one-on-one time with my dad anymore, so I’m glad he came. He was a trooper and stood through the show and went to the VIP with me and everything haha (he’s not a music person).

The venue is a (hipster-ish) country themed bar/restaurant that was really cool. Their food’s not great, but the drinks are, so it was fine. The stage was in the back (there was no backstage entrance, only one at the front of the stage), and there was a downstairs area where the kitchen was, and it had another room with another bar and some seats, as well as a pool table, a beer pong table, and corn hole; that’s where the VIP was before the show.

They called us in by name for VIP, and I somehow ended up first. When we walked in we weren’t sure where exactly to head to, and some radio people gave us little gifts, and then I turned around and Russell was just... there... and since I wasn’t sure what was happening (what the setup was??) I didn’t go right up to him. But he walked right up to me with open arms and was like “hey!” and went for a hug and said he liked my shirt (I was wearing one of his merch shirts that says “runs on coffee and red wine”) and I responded saying “thanks! I like the song ;)” He also acknowledged my dad, who immediately made it clear he was my father (l o l) and that I’m the big fan blah blah blah and he was only there to make sure I got through NYC safely and I rolled my eyes a bit to myself and Russell laughed and was like “nah she’s fine” lmao. I mentioned having seen him earlier this month on LI and he was like “Oh! With Tyler Farr right?” and I was like “yeah and LNT” (bc apparently I can’t shut up) and my dad chimed in about me being a Thefthead (i was dying inside bc i didn’t want to make it about them but w/e Russell was v nice about it) and I tried to round out the convo by explaining that I’d found his music through their pandora station and that I’m now absolutely in love with his music blah blah blah and we talked a little more (i can’t remember exactly what abot bc i was just having a moment standing there trying to be cool talking with him bc he’s just... so sweet... not that it was surprising but the situation was so chill and adgkldgf) but not too long bc we didn’t want to take up too much time when there were other people (i hate being the first one at meet and greet type things lmao)

after he talked with people we took photos and one of the radio people took them for us. when it was my turn and i stood next to him, Russell pulled me into him and i freaking died tbh he had a fair grip on my shoulder and my head was literally on his chest bc we were so close (and it was nice bc i get self-conscious about personal space like i never want to cross a line even accidentally so it’s validating when the artist is cool with close contact idk). we took four pictures bc even tho my phone was on auto flash, the lighting where we were kind of sucked, so after the first pic the guy was like “oh that one is messed up, let me take another,” and after the second one, he said it was better but not good, so he showed it to me and Russell and we took another one (in all of this i didn’t really say anything, mind you lol), and that one, i thought was okay, but it was still a little dark? i guess? (my phone’s brightness was on the lowest setting so that might’ve made it look worse) i wouldn’t have complained it that was the one but Russell insisted on taking another one so we could have a pic that was just right and i wasn’t gonna complain so we took a fourth one, and while the guy was checking it, Russell kept holding me into his side and was like “just keep holding it! keep holding it!” jokingly like just in case that one came out poorly, too, and then he took my phone to check it and it was A+ so he gave me my phone back and I thanked him and walked away in half a daze

he also played a couple of songs which i didn’t expect. he played a little of Blue Tacoma which is my fave of his so i was pumped and he made direct eye contact with me during the song while i was singing along and he smiled and i ascended (usually the only eye-contact i make with artists/performers during performances is funny/awkward haha) and he obviously played Yours and it was so beautiful in that intimate setting

we hung out a little more downstairs. my dad unknowingly sort of made friends with the lead singer of the opening band while they were talking about, i kid you not, Irish-related topics ? ? ? it was funny idk. my dad and i went up early to grab a spot and drink and watched the opener. side note: i discovered that i like Bud Light today.

highlights from Russell’s set:

we were all standing a little back from the stage (bc the only way to get on/off was the front, so we had left room) and he told us to get closer, and the crowd like, hesitated (these woman got in front of me last minute and weren’t moving and i was about to be like “biiiiiiitch if you don’t want to go up then let me through bc i will” lol) and Russell was like “I don’t know what personal space is” which ik from experience now hahahaha he also joked about it saying “it’s like a fifth grade dance in here” during MGNO, when he puts in I Wanna Dance With Somebody, he went out into the crowd and danced with some of us (he danced directly in front of me which was v awkward bc he’s so tall lmao) and it was really cool and honestly v cute like he was twirling girls around and stuff honestly i love him also HE PLAYED WHISKEY ON MY BREATH. I COMPLETELY FORGOT HE’S ONE OF THE WRITERS (THERE’S SO MANY LMAO) AND HE STARTED PLAYING IT AND I WAS DYING. I DIDN’T EXPECT THAT. AND PEOPLE IN THE CROWD SANG ALONG WHICH MADE IT EVEN BETTER. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT.

when i left i had absolutely no voice and it felt so fucking good to feel the cold air outside bc of how hot the damn bar was but it was so much fun and ughhhhhh i already miss it.

#concert stuff #russelled

0 notes