#these dranks ain't cheap

[42ds-too]

Happy pride, pervs... It's not too late to buy me a drink before I head to the MouseHouse. (Trips count too!)

There might even be some spicy pics in it for you, from me AND my bestie, together...

[imdead770]

The Outsiders x Reader fluff - Johnny Cade

Authors Note: He's so sweet, I love him so much. So sorry for the wait, but it's here now. Enjoy.

Johnny Cade

▪︎ Words cannot describe how sweet this boy is.

▪︎ Once he finally realized he liked you he tried to ignore it

▪︎ He's never really had a girlfriend, so the idea of finally having one freaks him out

▪︎ What if he got rejected? You were way out of his league, anyways. At least that's what he thinks.

▪︎ The gang practically had to force him to ask you out

▪︎ Either A) he asked you out indirectly

▪︎ Or B) the gang set out two up

▪︎ Either way, there you two were, sitting at the diner across from each other.

▪︎ It was pretty awkward at first, he didn't really know what to do, so he just drank his milkshake to fill the silence

▪︎ Eventually you finally managed to start a conversation

" ..remember when Two-Bit shaved that squirrel Pony found? "

" heh.. yeah "

▪︎ After that the two of you hit it off

▪︎ 15 minutes in and he got more comfortable, smiling every time you talked

▪︎ You both talked, sharing a basket of fries and drinking milkshakes. 10/10 date.

▪︎ He insisted to walk you back home

▪︎ You walked right beside each other the whole time

▪︎ He wanted to hold your hand but he wasn't really ready for the whole pda thing

▪︎ Which is fine, he warms up to it later.

▪︎ Whenever you got to your house he didn't want to leave

▪︎ Instead of saying 'goodbye' like a normal date, you kissed him right on the cheek

▪︎ His smile was the sweetest thing you ever saw.

▪︎ Once you two got to your third date he figured out he really liked you

▪︎ Not just a crush, this was a thing now.

▪︎ You were both sitting at the drive-in together, right beside each other

▪︎ That's when hee finally worked up the courage to put his hand on top of yours

▪︎ You just smiled, keeping your lit-up eyes on the movie screen

▪︎ Your first kiss was probably that same night

▪︎ Not anything intimate, just a really sweet 5-second kiss

▪︎ Someone in the gang probably somehow saw it

▪︎ The whole gang found out before Johnny even got back to the Curtis house

" HOLY SHIT, JOHNNY! "

" what..? "

" Whaddya mean what!? Ya' got 'er to kiss ya'?!?"

▪︎ Once you two got more comfortable with each other, physical affection became as normal as a blue sky.

▪︎ Sure he still flinched whenever you touch a scar on his hand, but it's getting better.

▪︎ He'll hold your hand, pull you against him, play with your hair, all that.

▪︎ He keeps pet names simple

▪︎ Baby, babe, darlin' or just your name

▪︎ Always makes time for you

▪︎ It doesn't matter if there's a rumble on date night, he'd come watch a movie with you with a broken nose.

" Johnny.. you sure you don't wanna go to a hospital? "

" I'm sure, baby, it ain't even that bad. "

▪︎ Dates are normally pretty laid back and of course, cheap.

▪︎ Drive-ins, movie nights, sitting in the lot together

▪︎ One night you just sat on the grass of the lot talking, sharing a cigarette (or not, you do you)

▪︎ It doesn't matter to him as long as he gets to spend time with youm

▪︎ After a while he starts coming to your house instead of the lot

▪︎ And he's so grateful for it

▪︎ He finally has somewhere to sleep that isn't lotus infested and cold

▪︎ That and he had someone he could trust, someone to hold him.

▪︎ He always feel safer with you, like nothing could happen.

▪︎ The gang's grateful for it too

▪︎ They notice that Johnny isn't as jumpy when you're around since he's too focused on you too even flinch.

▪︎ He always finds gifts to bring you

▪︎ Sometimes Soda will give him something free at DX, sometimes Dal will steal something, other times he'll just bring you flowers he found.

▪︎ He doesn't really flirt but he definitely compliments you a concerning amount.

▪︎ HIS SCAR!?

▪︎ The same way you'd trace Steve's tattoo or play with Dal's necklace, you'd trace his scar

▪︎ Him laying down with you, listening to your steady heartbeat as you push his greased hair back to trace the scar.

▪︎ The first time you did it he tensed up, but now it's relaxing to him

▪︎ The way your thumb goes from his eyebrow down to his cheekbone could make him fall asleep.

▪︎ 😭❤️

▪︎ He knows you don't like playing with his greased up hair, he doesn't like it either, so he starts washing his hair more

▪︎ Eventually he's at the Curtis house and your house more than he's at his house

▪︎ Again, everyone's grateful for it.

▪︎ It was probably some random night in your room where he said he loved you

▪︎ He was just laying on your chest, listening to you hum quietly as you played with his for-once-actually-clean-hair

".. yknow I love you, right? "

▪︎ It took you a second to process it.

" ..yeah, I know. Love you too, Johnny "

▪︎ 😭🫶

Two-Bit's next!

[noxexistant]

ai-less whumptober; day three

@ailesswhumptober 3 — shared trauma, survivor’s guilt, “It’s not your fault.” ↳ october, 1899 word count; 1.5k

cw; sibling death, implied alcohol abuse

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Jack thinks about Michael every day of his life. Maybe that's a good thing. He can't imagine the guilt if he didn't. But he also, really, can't imagine being able to…not. The thinking is one thing, but the nightmares are another.

And then there's the reminders.

Jack is all too aware his brother's death had had witnesses, all those boys watching out of the Refuge windows as they'd hopped the carriage, as Michael had slipped — and witnesses talk. Newsies talk, every shoeshine and street rat in New York talks; there ain't much else to do when they're working dawn 'til midnight or locked up behind those barred windows under Snyder's heel. Everyone knows. But it's one of those things most folk don't dare talk about — not when he's Cowboy, not when he's got the mask of being a leader to hide behind. Folk don't mess with him, though it's not the same way they don't mess with Spot Conlon. It's not fear.

They just…like him. Too much to bring up his dead little brother every time the urge might strike, whether they're pissed off with him — Jack thinks about his photograph, silently torn to shreds after he took the money — or they're just curious.

The Delanceys have no such reservations.

"Hey, Kelly," Oscar calls out from a little way down the alleyway Jack had just turned down. "Happy anniversary."

It's not. It's in a couple weeks. But Oscar's never been good with numbers.

"Fuck off, Delancey," he responds.

It's fucking cold. Too cold for October, too cold to be outside all day, but Jack doesn't have a whole lot of choice. He'd sold like shit, the way he always does in that lull between the cold weather starting and Christmas coming in — it's late and he's only just sold his last pape, he just wants to be done. But there Oscar is, leaned against the wall of the alleyway Jack's trying to cut through to get back to the lodging house, cigarette in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. He smells like the stuff, but it isn't the sharp, acrid smell of the cheap booze that can usually be found amongst the newsies. It smells good. It looks good.

Oscar grins at him, lopsided. Jack can guess that what's been drained from the bottle has all been drank by him tonight, and his suspicions are confirmed when Oscar brings the bottle to his lips and takes a long, easy drink.

"How long's it been now, eh?" he asks as he draws the bottle away, voice still a little tight as he swallows, utterly casual. "Since Michael. Ten years?"

His tone is lazy, something smug and amused and utterly infuriating in his face. Jack rolls his jaw.

"C'mon, Oscar, get your fingers up. Try an' count it out."

Of all the possible reactions, he isn't expecting Oscar to laugh.

Violence would be expected, normal, but Oscar laughs, the way he usually only does when he's beating someone into the pavement or ruining their day.

It makes something in Jack's gut curl, burning hot and angry.

"Y'know, I really don't get it," he says. "Why you're like this. Why you act like all that time in there was nothin' to you, jus' somethin' to crack jokes about now. I saw you. Every day. Saw you go through Hell with me. An' your little brother."

Oscar takes a slow drag from his cigarette, still sort of smiling around it. One side of his mouth curled up to bare a canine that gets covered when he exhales the smoke into the cold night air.

"Been through worse," he says with a shrug. Takes a swig of his whiskey. "An' clearly I did better in there 'n you did. Got my wee brother out alive an' all."

The noise he makes when Jack throws him into the wall is satisfying, at least. A grunt from deep in his chest as the air is knocked out of him, a dull crack of his head hitting the brick last. His cigarette tumbles to the floor, and Jack takes no small amount of satisfaction in catching it beneath his boot and scraping it hard, mangling it into a spread corpse of tobacco, though Oscar keeps a firm hold on his whiskey.

And then he smiles again, lazier this time.

"You always been jealous."

Jack had seen Morris go through Hell in the Refuge. As much as if not more than Jack himself and Oscar had faced. He'd been tiny when Jack first saw him. A tiny, malnourished little kid who'd clearly been brutalised all his life. For the first few years, Jack had believed Morris to be a lot younger than he is — Michael's age, maybe. Never could've guessed that he's only a few months younger than Jack himself. But Morris was always well looked after by Oscar, regardless of the circumstances in there, or the circumstances of wherever they'd come from. Morris was forever under the protection of his older brother. Oscar, who would start fights with the other boys to wrench their rations from them to give to Morris. Who'd stay awake all night and curl himself around his brother, vicious and protective like a dog, or sit vigil at his bedside to ensure nobody dared come close. Who'd walked out of the Refuge, freshly eighteen, with his hand clasped around his little brother's bony wrist when their uncle had arrived, looking for boys to put to work.

Maybe Jack thinks about them near as much as he thinks about Michael. It's a fact he fucking hates.

He'd compared himself to Oscar at every possible turn as they grew up, confined together, the only other older brother he'd ever known to compare himself to.

He'd wondered, in the wake of Michael's death, if he could've kept him alive, protected him better, if he was only more like Oscar. More vicious, more controlling, more willing to bide his time and take it for as long as he had to until it was over, instead of always having to try and run. Maybe he could've been stronger.

"'M'glad," he says, without. Really thinking about it. Means it, at least. "That you got your brother out."

He's still got Oscar pinned to the wall, leaning his weight against him with hands balled into the worn fabric of his jacket, but finally he forces himself to let go. Staggers a step backwards, skin feeling heavy on his body. Grief feeling heavy on his aching shoulders.

There's a brief stretch of silence. And then Oscar wordlessly holds out the bottle of whiskey between them.

Jack takes it without hesitation, and tips it back to draw a long swig from the bottle. It's good. Rich and warm, burns down his throat right to his empty stomach. Oscar's looking at him.

"You expectin' me to lie to you?" he says, but his voice is softer now. "Tell you it's not your fault?"

Jack shakes his head, and takes another swig, maybe half because he can and half because he's cold. Mostly because he needs it.

"Know it is," he says forcefully. "'Course it's my fault."

It had been October then too, and he knew then how utterly miserable winters in the Refuge were. He'd just wanted to get out before the cold set in, wanted to get him and Michael somewhere they could stay warm. Boys always died during the winter in the refuge. And isn't there a sick irony to that.

"I—" Oscar says suddenly, then stops himself. Swallows, and drops his head back against the brick again, pale eyes looking up at the sky. "Dunno how you kept goin'," he says. "Dunno that I could. 'f Mo…"

Jack swallows too. He can't help but look at Oscar, closer than he usually ever gets to be, something. Sickeningly intimate about the vulnerability in this moment. The older boy looks tired. He looks sad. And then seems to experience his own wave of grief, as if realising in an instant that he's said more than he wanted to — revealed too much, like Jack hasn't already seen everything. Hasn't seen Oscar holding Morris' limp body and screaming. It was just the fact that Morris woke up.

"Fuckin'. Whatever," Oscar mutters. "I gotta get home."

Jack imagines Morris is waiting for him.

It's how it always is, when the two of them are apart. They're just waiting to be reunited, two broken halves of a whole. Oscar goes suddenly, without another word, and Jack watches him walk away with his hands shoved in his pockets, boots crunching. He's still got his own hand around the neck of the bottle that Oscar had left with him. There's still a warmth to it where Oscar had held it.

Jack takes another swig, and starts heading his own way home, trying not to think about Michael waiting for him somewhere.

[ungoliantschilde]

Backtracks, 2009

…there’s simply too much here for me to cover in one succinct post. This boxset was made for diehard fans.

Yes, of course I have one.

The box itself has 9-Volt Battery in it and you can plug a guitar into the top of the box. It reportedly works. There are reproductions of tour posters and memorabilia, a temporary tattoo of the parrot on Bon Scott’s arm, a guitar pick, a vinyl record of rarities, DVDs of even more videos, a concert from 2003. And more. Live rarities. Songs from when they were a bar band that never got recorded or only showed up as B-Sides from old singles. It’s a box made for fans that have loved this band for their entire history.

Of course I fucking love it.

My favorite thing on it is the lost Bon Scott gem, “Carry Me Home”.

“Carry Me Home”

the lyrics make me laugh every time:

The bartender's working on a late night shift

Cheap bums and blondes and barmaids on a midnight drift.

And the dance band's playing the same old slam

I'm sinking whiskey and you're sipping fine wine

I don't know what it is you're trying to prove

Well it should be you but it's me who can hardly move

And I've got my reputation lying on the line

Come on baby, be a good dog and help the blind

Oh won't you carry me home

Won't you carry me home

Won't you carry me home

(like a truck, pick me up)

You ain't no lady but you've sure got taste in men

That head of yours has got you by time and time again

My arms and legs are aching and my head's about to blow

And your back's been breakin' and I'd hate to spoil the show

But I've just spent next weeks wages and I'm right out of coin

But you want more and it's half past four and they want to close the joint

But we can't afford a taxi, and it's too late for the bus

But I've been told by friends of mine you're someone I can trust

Carry me home

Oh won't you carry me home

Ohh! Carry me home

(don't let me lie here in all this beer)

You drank all your booze and half of mine

I'm bleary eyed and you're waiting for the sunshine (to come and kill me)

Just like the man who threw me on the floor

Don't matter, while I'm down here I might as well try and find the fucking door

Excuse me, have you seen it? it's about this big

And have you got a plastic bag 'cause I'm gonna be sick

I'm dead drunk and heave'n hanging upside down

And you're getting up and leaving, you think I'm gonna drown

Carry me home

Yeah won't you carry me home

(I need your help)

Carry me home

Carry me home

Oh won't you carry me home

Yeah carry me home

[mahvaladara]

Vecenia: You came, my lord!

Neer: I said I would.

Vecenia: I wasn't actually expecting you to accept my invitation, my lord. I am beneath you.

Neer: I do see a second glass. So you were expecting me. I'd hate to disappoint you. And you don't need to call me lord, Neer is just fine.

Vecenia: Neer... I always found your names rather odd. Neer and Seer. I would have thought Duke of Star Valley, Lord Valaveer C'Silla would name his heirs something... more...

Neer: Posh? Long? Regal?

Vecenia: Yes! What does Neer mean?

Neer: Hmm... Calm, patient, silent.

Vecenia: You're quite talkative, so... I think it needs a revamp. So, mead?

Neer: Mead?

Vecenia: Destiled honey. Have you never had it?

Neer: Can't say I have.

Vecenia: Noble Heir of the C'Silla house never drank mead? Too cheap for your taste?

Neer:... Perhaps for my father's.

Vecenia: Well, my lord. We need to fix that! Ain't having you stand here like some uppity milkdrinker!

Neer: Uppity what?

[ghostbxsted]

"It's part of the United States of America. Planet Earth. I'm guessing Earth ain't a thing where you're from?"

Just out of spite, he's going to make all 15 burgers in his order the Ghost Pepper special. Plus, he has a theme to stick to. He has to do it for the meme now. "Nah, I've drank straight ectoplasm out of a filter before, so I ain't worried about my stomach much."

"The great thing about fast food joints? Food's cheap. You can order in bulk without emptying out your wallet completely." Danny grins, putting down his menu just in time for a waiter to check their table.

Another great thing about Isola is that no one bats an eye at strange bulk orders in the middle of the night.

ghostbxsted​:

“The name is like, ironic. Intentional.” That’s what literally every teen in Amity insists upon, anyways. “But I’m tellin’ ya, they’re the best burgers in Illinois.” …Not that he’s really traveled around the country much. His trips to Wisconsin were mostly spent wrangling with a certain deranged billionaire. Who is, thankfully, not here right now.

Out of sight, out of mind, as the saying goes. Something like that.

Danny makes himself comfortable at the edge of the booth across from the man, picking up a menu without a moment’s hesitation. Whether he was actually also making note of possible escape routes was his business, and his alone.

“Oooh they got something called the Ghost Pepper Bacon Burger,” He wonders, absently, if it’d taste anything like raw and unfiltered ectoplasm. Hmm… Either way, it’s got ghost in the name, he’s like. Legally obligated to order at least one of those.

“How d'ya wanna split the bill? Half n’ half? I order fifteen burgers, you order fifteen, or what?”

"The hell's Illinois?" He mutters, squinting to himself as if he can find the answer in his brain-- it's empty, buddy, you won't find it there. Shaking his head again, Razlo goes back to the menu.

"You're gonna be shitting your brains out--" Razlo 'advises' him, not even looking up. The big man is rather boring, so the most adventurous he might get is something with mushrooms or with an egg in it.

"We can do half and half yeah. That's fine with me."

The former assassin isn't too worried about money, nor whatever big check they can throw at this duo.

[mtlgrandprix]

adulthood is realizing you can just.... get drunk on a weeknight if u want

but then also realizing why u shoudn't do it as soon as u do

[tessaquartz]

I need to know for certain if Robert is the baby daddy! I don't think I'll be able to rest until I know if the ONS actually happened because I still live for the "Rob and Bex never slept together theory" and that the events weren't as they seem (Robert's sobriety/consent giving ability 👀 seems fishy). I need confirmation. Emmerdale doesn't even air in my country (sadly, I do not have foxtel) and it has this much impact on my mental health and control over my life ffs 😂😂😂

[samanthalightning]

She's Got A Date-EoWells X Allen!reader- Part IV

*The GIF is not mine. All rights to the owner*

Part III

Summary: After getting wasted last night, you meet up with Barry and he offered you some advices. Based 1x03

Warnings: None. Just a tad angsty.

***

Extremely groggy, currently having a mind-splitting headache and has the worst case of hungover, it was a miracle that you woke up early— well, thanks to your siren-like alarm. You hate yourself for drinking like a viking and like your liver regenerates like Barry.

Last night was a blur— or at least the part you got home. You blacked out. You have absolutely zero recollection of how you ended up in your bed, in your pyjamas, and your car parked the wrong way. You figured you drank and drove, you might have someone to do with that one. You are so lucky no one caught or Joe would've made sure you won't see the light of day. But everything prior that was still very much intact in your mind. Everything.

You were supposed to meet up with Barry for breakfast today at Jitters. You were headed there anyway for some coffee. It's not far from your apartment, which was nice, because you don't trust yourself with driving hungover as much as driving drunk.

When you arrived at Jitters, Barry was already there. He waved as his eyes caught you entering. You smiled in return. You went to him, put your bag on the floor and took a seat on the stool. Cups of coffee were on the table, it seemed like Barry had already gone through half of his coffee.

"I already ordered for you," he said. "And I got you this ham and cheese sandwich from that bodega." He placed a brown paper bag in front of you.

"Thanks," you mumbled, taking a sip of the coffee. You rummaged through the bag, and took the foil-covered sandwich. It was still warm. Your favorite bodega was all the way downtown. It's a trip to get those treats, which is why you almost never get them. Thank God for Barry and his super speed.

You quickly removed the foil and took a large bite. You groaned happily as you chew. Coffee and greasy sandwich; it was heavenly and bitter. It hits the right spots, it feels as though a part of your soul re-entered your body.

Thank God for Barry and him knowing you so well.

Barry chuckled amusedly at your reaction. "Had some fun last night?" He teased, pointing to your sunglasses covering your eyes.

In your defense, it was very bright outside today.

You rolled your eyes, not that he can see through the lens— or can he? You didn't know. "Just had a few drinks with Iris," you said.

He nodded, half convinced, took a sip of his coffee. "Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm falling apart," he sang in a low voice, but enough for your heightened hearing to hear.

Your head quickly jerked up to him, eyes mortified. "How did you know that?" You whispered. Your thoughts ran wildly. Maybe someone took a video of you drunk as hell, and maybe you're trending on all social media platforms or maybe you became a meme.

He shrugged, pursing his lips. "I don't know, you belted those notes in the streets last night,"

Perplexed, you look at him, and it's like he was waiting for something to click while smirking devilishly. Then it dawned on you. All of those questions you asked earlier were answered. He took you home. Which makes sense why he got these sandwiches for you.

"Oh my God," you groaned, burying your face in your hands, cheeks turned into a dark shade of red. Though, you still remember nothing.

Barry laughed hysterically. He loved teasing you so hard.

"Yeah. You called me last night, begging me to pick you up, because you're too drunk to drive," he said as his laughing ceased. "You both refused to enter the car. You started screaming, giggling like 5-year olds. I was lucky the street was dead."

Oh poor Barry. You can imagine, he must be so embarrassed.

It was a relief that even if you're drunk, you didn't risk driving. Maybe you're not as hopeless as you think you are.

Still, you dwelled in your embarrassment.

"So, who is it?" He asked. You look up to him again, eyebrows furrowed with once again cluelessness and confusion. You had a hunch what he was talking about, but it's always safe to pretend you don't know. It can't hurt them. He looked at you incredulously. "Come on, Y/N. You were talking the whole car ride. About some guy, and how things are so complicated and you were tired of it. I've never seen you like that before—"

"—clearly haven't seen me in a frat party before," you snickered, taking off your glasses.

"I'm serious. What is that about?" He insisted firmly, anticipation and a squint of frustration was evident in his face.

You grimaced, mentally hissing at yourself. You couldn't just zip your mouth and reveal your secret. Might as well announce it.

You messed up. You can lie, but what's the point? He's Barry. If he's anything, that's persistent. He tried breaking in Iron Heights.

"I'm dating someone," you confessed.

Barry blinked, clearly caught off guard with your confession. He expected it, but what surprised him is that you hid it from him. He stuttered for a while, before he was able to form a coherent sentence. "Oh. Okay. What happened?"

You sighed, looking down at the table. You took another bit of your sandwich, taking your time to chew. Contemplating whether to elaborate. It's pretty heavy to unload, you didn't expect telling your brother you're dating someone so secretly. And for sure he won't be able to take it all at once. You have to be vague.

"He—he doesn't want anyone to know we're dating, because there are certain consequences that come with it," you explained. It felt foreign to talk about your love life. For the past 6 months, you kept it all to yourself. The bad, the good. You bottled it up inside.

He raised an eyebrow, concern crossed his features. "And you're comfortable with this?"

"At first. But then it felt restricted and suffocating," you explained.

"Did you talk to him about this?"

You nodded. "Yes. He wasn't very convinced. I honestly don't know what to do," you huffed, slumping your shoulder.

It ain't rocket science to figure how deeply i troubled you. It breaks his heart that his little sister is going through some stuff, and she was going through it alone.

"Talk some more. Be honest of what you're really feeling," you thought was pretty rich and ironic coming from him. "You're part of this relationship as much as he is. You have a say in this, and if you don't feel like this isn't working out for you, then maybe you shouldn't be in it at all."

His words hit you like a brick— thousands of bricks hitting you all at once, if you're being accurate. It hurts, because it was right. It hurts, because it deeply matters. You felt the sting in your heart, your jaw tightened. You don't want to think about it, but he's got a point.

Barry was worried with your lack of response, as you think deeply in the distance. "I'm not saying break up with him, okay? I'm just saying this is something you should really talk about and consider. You can't bottle it all up." He doesn't want to screw up his sister's love life or push her to do something that might hurt her, but not exactly disregarding the advice he made.

When he's not being a total dork, he's pretty wise.

You pressed your lips is a hard line, taking it all in. "I know," you murmured.

You weren't able to say anything after that. So did he. It was some heavy weight of emotional stuff to unload to your brother. Your hungover was gone, and who knew these kinds of talks are better than coffee and grease.

Barry decided to break the silence. "This explains so much," he laughed and so did you. You weren't pretty subtle. "Do I know him?" He quirked an eyebrow.

You hesitated, but it's not like Wells' is the first that will come to his mind. Gradually, you nodded. "Yes. But I'm not gonna say who!"

"He isn't someone like Oliver Queen, right?" He half-joked, but deep inside he meant it.

You almost spat your drink. "No!"

Barry went to the precinct, and you headed to S.T.A.R Labs.

You tried to act as normal as possible, even though what Barry said deeply affected you. Thank God Caitlin arrived before you, so you wouldn't have to deal with interactions with him.

You couldn't still believe how much emotion you felt last night; how intense it is. You minded it, but you didn't think you would actually get drunk about it. You have no idea how to deal with it, and if it's the right time to deal with it. You can't go on and help your brother save the city, while your mind is filled with thoughts about him.

Right now, you choose the city.

As soon as Cisco arrived, which wasn't very long, you worked on finishing the pipeline.

It wasn't easy though, you worked on the same thing, be in the same room, act like you didn't get hammered because of him last night. Every time you spare him a glance, and he would look back and he would smile, having no idea what you were going through, it would break your heart just a little bit more. Each minute that you let your feelings be unknown, Barry's words sink into you furthermore. But it occurred to you that the reasons why it was hard were also the reasons why you should keep it together.

The prison was done before lunch. He and Cisco worked over-overtime last night, so there wasn't really much to do, but set it up. It came up together well; durable, functional. The cells slightly look like pods, and given Francisco Ramon's obsession with Star Wars, it makes sense. The test run will happen when 'The Mist' is captured, since Barry doesn't want to participate. But rest assured, you and Cisco worked on it very hard to make sure it works.

Now with the biggest task done, the only thing left to do is go through a bunch of workload and have lunch.

"Hey, Caitlin and I are gonna grab lunch, wanna come?" Cisco asked, putting his coat on. "It's that new place that serves amazing cheap steaks and burgers,"

You realized that the place he was talking about was the very restaurant that you told Wells.

You shook your head. "No, you guys go. I already ordered some food." You smiled, declining.

"Okay, your lost. That place is amazing," he elaborated, clearly pleased with the place. It's Cisco, though. And food.

You snorted, turning your eyes back to the computer. "As I heard," you murmured underneath your breath with a tinge of bitterness, as Cisco strided out of the cortex.

On the bright side, someone from this place already went there. But much to your dismay, it wasn't you.

Your phone dinged. You picked it up to check, and it's what you have been waiting for. The delivery guy is right outside the lab. You quickly headed down to pick it up. You gave the delivery guy some tip, before excitedly went back inside.

You were salivating when the intoxicating smell of Chinese food filled your nostrils.

When you got up, Wells was there. He took a waft of the take-out foods. "Is that from Mann-Lee?" His eyes lit up in recognition. He was the one who introduced you to the restaurant. He said it's the only Chinese place he likes, because it tasted like the food he had in Shanghai. Of course, he's been to China.

You nodded, placing it on the desk. You quickly took out every box of food in the bag, and dug into your chow mein happily and satisfied, not bothering to take a seat.

"Did you order some for me?" He asked.

Unable to speak due to your mouth being filled with noodles and potstickers, you nodded. "It's in the box," he chuckled at your attempt to speak.

He helped himself and rummaged inside the bag's remaining contents. Upon opening one, his face fell, seemingly disappointed. He opened another box only to be disappointed again. He was looking for something specific. Your wonder started to grow, watching him.

He turned to you, and you raised an eyebrow. "Did you order some of their Beef Broccoli?"

"No. Did you want that?" You inquired.

"Yeah." He forced a half-smile, waving his fingers dismissively. "It's okay. I'm fine with Kung Pao Chicken; it's decent enough,"

For some reason, your mood soured. Decent in Harrison Wells' vocabulary means it's not good enough; he doesn't hate it, but he doesn't love either. You felt bad that you didn't know what he actually likes, but in your defense, he never says, and he lets you eat it. He never complained.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't like it," you said. You didn't want to watch him suffer eating something he doesn't like while you enjoy your own lunch.

"No, it's fine," he assured you.

"No, Harry. I mean it— you don't have to eat it," you insisted with more vigor in your tone.

He ignored you, and took a bite of the chicken. You scoffed in disbelief, frustration fueled in your chest. You want to stop him as he continues eating, but you decided against it. It's too petty to get angry about, not worth it.

You eat your lunch in peace, every time you turn to Wells, he would wince every now and then when he takes a bite. You don't know what about Kung Pao Chicken he doesn't like, but he doesn't just like it. You tried to let him go through it, but you're starting to get annoyed. And of course, you couldn't stop yourself.

"Okay, stop," you suddenly spoke, putting your food aside. "You don't have to eat, you don't like it." You tried to grab the food out of his grasp, but he swerved swiftly.

"Y/N, I said it's fine!" Wells said, displeased at your attempt to take his food away.

"It's not! You don't look fine— you don't like it!" Your voice rose a little.

He exhaled audibly. "It's just food,"

"I know it's just Kung Pao Chicken that I ordered that you don't like, so just admit it and stop eating!" You spat.

He scoffed in disbelief. "What is wrong with you? I am eating it!"

"But that's the point!" You snapped loudly. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do— you never do!"

Realizing what you've said, you shut your eyes. Your hands flew to each side of your head, fingers weaved through your hair, tugging on them. You needed to calm down and take breath, and be rational. The last you want to do is do something reckless and irrational.

"Is there something wrong?" He questioned firmly.

You mentally grimaced at the question. It was a stupid question; it's basically screaming at his face. "Nothing," you muttered.

Of course he didn't buy it. You weren't exactly selling it well. Or at all.

"It's something. You're enraged over food," You don't honestly know how he can keep his tone down, but it was evident he was agitated. You hate it so much right now.

You sighed wearily, refusing to face him. Afraid of what might happen if you do.

"Let it go, Wells," you pleaded through your gritted teeth and clenched jaw.

"No. I'm not gonna stop until this is settled. Tell me, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

He continued on, pushing you to speak. The idea of unloading all of your hidden burdens entered your mind, but you don't have the emotional capacity to face the fact that this is taking a toll on you. You tried to hold your ground, but his voice overwhelmed you.

You pushed your chair back, getting on your feet and facing him.

"Everything is wrong, Harrison!" You shouted, your voice boomed inside. Wells almost flinched. "Everything is wrong with us!"

Wells shook his head, baffled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't take this any longer,"

"Can't take what?"

"This—" you gestured to you and him. "—This arrangement we made!"

Wells sighed, distressed, catching on what you were saying. "I thought you were okay with this,"

You chewed on your bottom lip, as you folded your arms across your chest. When you spoke, your voice dropped into a whisper; you couldn't control it. "I thought so too. Then last night, Iris vented out to me." You paused. You struggled to keep it together, now pressing your tightly folded arms on your chest. You continued. "They were having problems, same as us. I gave her some insights about everything, and then I realized that's how I feel!"

The underlying problem he thought he got handled was more intense than he thought. Time was running, you couldn't pick more of an impeccable timing, and the team could waltz in anytime while you were having this fight. He couldn't afford anyone finding out about it.

He took off his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Y/N, this is not the time for this," he said.

You snorted, your anger erupted in your veins. You were tired of avoiding the elephant in the room.

"When is the perfect time? When it's too late? When we break up?" You didn't want to say it, but it was at the tip of your tongue, waiting to be asked ever since you realized it.

His expression hardened. You already see the gears working. "Y/N, don't go there," he murmured, not glancing up to you.

"Why?" Your voice cracked into an almost sob. That was it. The tears found their way and pool at the rim of your eyes. "I tried to make myself believe that I understand, but I couldn't help but think that maybe you're scared that if things don't work out you won't have to deal with other people, thinking that you slept with a 24-year old girl."

Soon, every emotion you were feeling last night came rushing back to you; the confusion, the anger, the love and the pain— towards him and yourself. It seeped, not only to your heart, but through your very bones and weary soul. All too soon it became overwhelming, your chest tightening, your stomach knotting, struggling to keep it at bay.

Thinking it was one thing, but saying was a whole new realm of pain you didn't know you existed, let alone capable of feeling.

He glanced up to you, eyes staring into you meaningfully. "I would never think that. I made so many enemies, Y/N. Before and after the accelerator exploded. The last thing those people want is to see me happy and that puts you in danger," he reasoned.

You tried to steady your shaky voice. "I know. But your reasons and your excuses, they won't matter in the long run. The press, Joe, our friends, my brother— everything they say won't matter to me, because they're not the ones who loves you like I do, and they're not the one in a relationship with you." You told him, staring back, before turning away, as they threatened to fall.

You inhaled sharply. "I love you, Harrison Wells. And no matter what they say about us or you or me, I'll love you. Damn, you put my brother in a 9-month coma, but I loved you nonetheless!" You pointed your index finger at him in the air.

He let you speak, taking it all, as waiting for you to finish, let it all out and explain his side. And then, you'll be swept off your feet again, as if all of your feelings and thoughts didn't exist in your mind before. Barry was right. You couldn't believe you were getting to this point, but he was right.

"But I don't wanna hide anymore. I want to do more. Be free. If you don't want anyone to know that this relationship is happening, then maybe we shouldn't happen at all," You stated.

You both were silent, the tension was thick and you could cut a knife through it. Suddenly you couldn't move, like all of your energy was drained from your body.

You turned away before you could see his reaction. The pain was unbearable; it's best if you don't see it.

Mustering all the courage and strength you have left and your body, you took a step to leave the room. He tried to stop you by reaching out, but you recoiled, before his fingertips graze your skin.

"Don't,"

You strided out of the cortex, your shoulder straightened, held up high to hold your tears, but every step you take, the control you have dissipates. Slowly, your tears overflowed. You wiped the tears, though it didn't make any difference, your tears fell and fell, soaking your neck. Soon, all hell broke loose, sobs racked your body, your hands flew to your mouth to muffle your voice.

Wells was left with nothing, but the sound of your footsteps received, your muffled sob through the walls; thousands thoughts and emotions, and the weight of your words.

***

My parents are fighting. This one made me genuinely sad. Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you share this and give it some love. Thanks!

Part V

[oh-to-be-a-murderer]

I did that once when somebody made me some coffee but they forgot to add like half the milk and later added a cheap oily chocolate. It was hell, but mama ain't raise no impolite bitch so I drank it.

Lala: makes NaNa a cup of tea but puts salt in it NaNa: sips tea Lala: NaNa: finishes tea Lala: Didn't it taste bad? NaNa: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all. Lala, tearing up: Oh, okay.

[mesangelique]

Part 1/2 of a story with a pairing no one requested : JOHN MARSTON/KIERAN DUFFY (I will post it on AO3 tomorrow)

Rating : R / 18+

Warning : alcohol, drunk sex, SMUT (but not in this part)

Thanks to @bluesilksilverspurs for the beta reading 🤠, I hope you will give this pairing a chance and like this first part ~

It's been a long day, an exhausting one. Arthur, John, Bill and Kieran went to Six Points cabin, hoping to find Colm O'Driscoll, but they found nothing spare a little cash, and Arthur's life had been saved by the « ex O'Driscoll boy » - otherwise known as Kieran Duffy. In doing so, Kieran had earned the right to be able to stay with the gang like any other member, doing chores and taking care of horses. Oh, he is well aware he won’t be able to disappear for days on end as Arthur or Micah do, but at least he won’t be tied to that tree anymore.

 

 When the group got back to the camp and were explaining to Dutch what had happened, Lenny had arrived, panting, terrified, babbling about Micah waiting to be hung in Strawberry’s jail. At that point, Dutch suggested Arthur take Lenny into Valentine to relax a little, and now, hours later, John noticed he himself was drunk as he stood up from the stool in the saloon. The world started to turn around as if he was on a roller coaster, but all he managed to do was order another drink.

 

 Arthur and Lenny had the great idea to invite John and Kieran to their little "having only one drink” thing. John was invited because he was standing there when Dutch suggested the outing, and Kieran mostly because that kid saved Mister Morgan's life - and desperately needed a bath. Hosea had also told Arthur that they had to accept him in the gang. John didn’t care much for stuff like that as long as this O’Driscoll was getting a good wash first.

 

 And speaking of the O'Driscoll boy - he had just taken a whiskey and sat right next to John, drinking thirstily straight from the bottle. John couldn't help but look at him, squinting his eyes. Now that he was clean, smelling of soap and tobacco instead of horseshit and piss, with his hair framing his thin face, he was not THAT disgusting… Actually, it was maybe the first time John was really looking at him; at his thin beard, his worried dark green eyes, his nose. John frowned. He shouldn’t be looking at him like that. But he was drunk.

 

 Yes, that's why.

 

 "Think ye can drink better than me, O'Driscoll boy?" He chuckled deeply, his laugh raspy like his voice. He didn't have to find anything else to say to have Kieran looking at him with his scared deer eyes, a rabbit about to run for his dear life. "C'mere I'll show ya how WE drink."

 

 Not giving him time to answer, he grabbed Kieran's whiskey bottle and brought it to his lips, taking big gulps, the whisky running right down his throat, burning and warming him up, and once he had run out of breath he handed the bottle back. John had to admit he was quite proud of his performance - he didn't choke or end up coughing.

 

 "Dare you to do better than that. O'Driscoll." He whispered, leaning a bit towards Kieran, smirking arrogantly. Why was he like this suddenly? Why did he suddenly want to impress that O'Driscoll boy? Ah yes, he was drunk, maybe he didn’t have to search further for a reason, maybe …

 

 Kieran’s eyes were wide, seeing his bottle being stolen like that. He was already tipsy, so he didn’t react like he normally would. Actually, he had been focusing on John Adam’s apple, the way it had bobbed up and down as he swallowed the alcohol… That ride earlier, where his body was fully pressed against the other man’s had made him look at John Marston differently.

 

 And here, now, he was mostly drunk, and his initial shyness was gone. He was just chuckling, cheeks red like a teenager, a happy one, the one he never was. Being alone like this with John should be quite embarrassing, to be honest, and at first he had been afraid. But now... John was so drunk he probably wouldn’t be able to walk straight. He was giggling and evidently really proud of his drinking performance.

 "Gimme that- you'll see I can!" Kieran retorted, reacting to John’s arrogant smirk and trying to avoid looking too long at the man’s lips and at that drop of whisky on his neck. Without much more thought, he took the bottle and emptied it. A delicious burning sensation in his throat, his head feeling so light he could float. All his anxiety, all his problems just drowned in the liquor, and so he laughed, pushing the bottle away, proudly looking at the other man.

 "Ah ah! See Marston? Was able to follow you on this!" Kieran chuckled, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows (or trying to do so at least). He closed his eyes for a few seconds and suddenly, a hot wave was spreading all over his body, thickening his saliva. Now he was looking at John, at his dirty hair, his three days old beard, his scars … How fascinating are these scars, how marvellous they are … That very one on his lips.

 "Pheeew, it’s so hot in here." The ex-O’Driscoll breathed out, looking at the ceiling, taking his dust coat off. He felt like he was on fire right now. He would love to jump naked in some river... or in some horse's trough. His cheeks were red and burning, and he could almost feel sweat droplets forming on the back of his neck. He continued, "So hot in here…. So, what we doin' now – ya know, since I finished the bottle" Kieran chuckled, trying to get rid of his neckerchief.

 

 Oh he is a mess, a fucking mess right now, unable to talk properly, babbling shitty stuff that is ricocheting about in his head. He must be mad - drinking that whole bottle hadn’t really been a good idea. Even if he thought it had impressed John… John had watched him emptying the bottle, mesmerized, in fact, by the sight of that boy drinking like he hadn't drank in days.

 

 "Ain'tcha a thirsty one, eh?" John had given a husky laugh when Kieran lowered the empty bottle and then started whining about the temperature. He can feel a warm feeling in his groin, spreading up his spine right now, and it is making him feel like he is burning too. That very same feeling he has when a pretty lady walks by and he pulls her onto his lap. The only problem is that he ain't looking at a pretty lady right now. He is looking at a very drunk O'Driscoll boy. Well, an ex-O’Driscoll boy. He is looking at Mister Duffy. Kieran. Kieran Duffy. What kind of a fool is he, John Marston, to be looking at a guy like this? The last time it happened was a decade ago. But he is drunk tonight, so that must be why. That’s obviously why.

 

 "I suppose you're pretty hot now what with all that booze you've been drinkin'. C'mon, let's get out of here and take some air" John grumbled, pushing away from the counter and bumping into some tables before finally making it to the back door. He opened it roughly, almost knocking an old man backwards while doing so. John could hear Kieran behind him, trying to act naturally, as if they hadn’t just been drinking like two sailors, and as he held the door open for him, he was able to clearly see that Kieran was having a hard time even walking straight.

 

 As Kieran drew level with John, he even tripped, and although John did not know how, or why, his reflex was to react fast, fast enough to grab him. The amount of alcohol in his own blood was sapping away at his strength though and ultimately he found himself pinning Kieran against the nearest wall with the weight of his whole body, his hands on each side of Kieran’s head and his face almost buried in his neck. His body felt spineless and he was suddenly very tired. Both of them were giggling like teenagers after their first beer. He couldn’t even feel his legs anymore. In fact, neither of them could feel their legs right now.

 

After almost collapsing on at least three occasions, they were both outside proper now. Navigating the tiny step outside of the saloon almost pitched both of them over, which was no surprise at all seeing as how drunk they were, but now they were here, leaning against another wall. How did they even make it this far? No one will ever know.

 

"You alright?" John asked in a thick voice, their noses nearly touching. They are close. Really, really close. Kieran can feel every piece of the wood behind him snagging on his shirt and scratching his back, he can feel how muddy the ground is, how cold the air is but how hot he feels, like he is burning inside. He tried to focus on everything but their sudden closeness. Because the problem is the ex-O’Driscoll is far more into men than the church wants him to be, than society wants him to be – it’s a problem he has known about for a long time, and has tried to hide for even longer… people get hanged for it. Kieran could hear his heart in his ears, his blood pumping roughly, and his lungs running out of air, his tongue heavy in his mouth but most importantly that warmth waking up in his lower belly, spreading in his groin, curling up his spine. Having John Marston, drunk, his nose almost against his, his body flush against him... He swallowed thickly, looking at John’s lips as though hypnotised, and managed to nod, his green, greyish eyes glancing over John’s scars.

 

"Y-es. 'Am alright, Mister." He whispers.

 

 John's breathing was suddenly deep and fast. He could feel Kieran's warmth mixing with his own. Strangely, he didn’t mind. He knew damn well he was already growing hard, mostly because of the  alcohol, of course. He always got so horny when he started getting drunk, so the fact that it was Kieran and not another cheap whore isn’t so surprising, right? The fact that he found Kieran’s eyes fascinating and his lips kissable right now, and his so thin, fragile collarbone beautiful – that was just the alcohol. This closeness wasn’t helping, creating friction on his - their - cock under his – their - pants, having him - them - hum deeply, both acting like they did not hear or feel the other.

 

"Yea? That's good then. Yea."

 

 There was a silence then when John met Kieran's eyes, and his mind was filled up with dark fantasy and desire and want and that need of possession. He rarely felt that with a girl, that possessiveness rising. But he had really drank a lot tonight, they both had really drank a lot, and Kieran looked like a lamb waiting for a wolf to eat him.

 

 "Thought you were hot? Gotta do something about that, right?" John whispered thickly, lowering his eyes to Kieran's throat, almost able to hear his thundering beating heart when his hands went to the collar of his shirt and started working on the buttons. The alcohol doesn’t help his fingers at all, but he was slipping one button free and then another…

 

"Yeah- I'm… I'm hot - but w...whatabout you ?" Kieran whispered back, trying to keep his voice steady, but freezing immediately, unsure. He could feel John’s hands on his shirt, feel his fingers working on opening it – the way his breath was coming quicker and his eyes had grown significantly darker. Kieran couldn’t help but bite his lip, and couldn’t decide if he hoped John would notice it or not, the way he himself has noticed John’s hooded lustful gaze and the way he is staring at his face, his neck.

[supervillainny]

Dependence

Written for @mandatoryfunday, the St Patrick’s prompt.

"I ain't a drunk," Bucky said, and scratched at the dark stubble that covered his jaw until the murmurs died down, until the concerned looks from the crowd were all directed his way again. He felt like he was under a spotlight, standing up at the scuffed wooden lectern like this, and it was just different enough from the VA meetings he was used to to make him feel a little on edge. He shifted his weight and tucked his hair behind his ear, not feeling enough himself to try on any kind of a smile for size.

He cleared his throat, the sound echoing awkwardly from the hall's cold walls, and tried again.

"Drinking ain't my problem," he said, and that hit the crowd a little better, settled them. He looked over at the guy by the coffee urn, let his eyes unfocus a little so he could be talking to one person rather than the crowd in front of him. "I, er."

The guy with the coffee turned to look at him, flashed him a smile from across the room. He was blond, like Steve, but taller; he had purple aids in both his ears. He'd talked about emptiness, when he'd been standing where Bucky was now, and how the line of beer bottles could be made to fill it; he'd talked about not feeling good enough; he'd talked about his dad. He'd talked with an easy honesty that'd hurt, a little, and he'd still managed to make the crowd laugh.

Bucky took a breath.

"My buddy Steve," he said, "is wearing a 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish' shirt right now, and probably telling drunk guys off for disrespecting girls. He's like - he's like a gold coin in a mud puddle. Whatever shit there is, you know it's not gonna stick." He looked down at his hand where it was wrapped around the lectern, bracing him upright, white-knuckled. He shrugged, so his other sleeve swung free from the pocket he'd tucked it in. "Him and me, we fought together overseas, and he came back - scratched up a little, maybe but still -" he snorted, "still shiny. Still valuable, y'know? So Paddy's day, he's out keeping the streets safe, maybe drinking a beer or two outta respect. And me, I came here 'cos drinking ain't my problem but -" he tilted his head forward a little, let his hair fall forward, 'cos he didn't want to have even a chance of meeting anyone's eyes. "But I'm pretty sure it could be, if I gave it a chance. 'cos I didn't come back right, like Steve did. And I gotta tell you it scares the shit outta me, who I could let myself be."

He rubbed a hand across his mouth, and he could feel it shaking a little as it rasped across the stubble, there.

"Thanks for lettin' me be here," he said. "Sorry I couldn't be more help."

The couple steps down from the stage were loud in the silence; they hadn't figured out how to take him yet, maybe, but that was okay. It meant no one tried to talk to him as he ignored the folding chair he'd pushed himself up off of, gripped by some crazy urge to unburden a little. It meant he got all the way to the table with the coffee and the cheap cookies without having to pretend at a smile.

"You didn't introduce yourself," a voice said at his elbow. Behind him, the moment had broken, the meeting moved on; the crowd smiled wide and chanted 'Hi, Martha' to the tired-looking woman up on the stage. Bucky turned his head to see the blond guy, topped off coffee in hand. "Skipping out on the ritual humiliation is cheating."

"I don't remember hearing your name," he said, and the guy shrugged.

"Yeah, well, you came in late, you missed out on my tales of the circus, too." He grinned, the way he had after making a joke about his hearing aids, right after he'd told them about how hard his dad hit when he drank. He had a beautiful goddamn grin.

"Bucky." His voice was kinda gruff. He kept forgetting to use it, when Steve didn't come by.

"Clint." He held out a hand, then switched off his coffee quickly and offered his other without awkwardness, without making any kind of a thing out of it. His hand was warm. Bucky had to make himself let go.

"You been here before?"

Clint rubbed the back of his neck with one big hand, revealing the hole in the armpit of his faded purple shirt.

"I got coerced," he said. "Apparently I can't be trusted with the dog if I'm drinking, so -" he shrugged, and there was a moment there where his expression got a little lost, took a left turn at rueful and headed into regret.

"Girlfriend?" Bucky tried to sound sympathetic. Wasn't sure it worked.

"Fuck no. My -" Clint frowned.

That was a good look on him too. This was not about as far as possible from why Bucky'd come here tonight, but regretting it was an effort he didn't need.

"I don't know how to explain it from this end. She's my hero?" Clint grinned, and his grin was an invitation for you to join in. Bucky wasn't quite ready to RSVP, but he was willing to put a pin in it for later.

"That's... sweet," he said.

"Yeah, and it's not quite - I mean she is, no question, but I meant more like... I'm her sidekick."

"You'd think that'd be a tough thing to admit."

"Nah," Clint said, easy as anything, "Katie-Kate's fuckin' amazing, I'm lucky as hell." He gave Bucky a sly sideways look. "She's also, like, twelve, and I am in no way that skeevy."

"Good to know," Bucky said.

"Yeah?" Clint's face was a study in attempted casual; it was a study in a failed attempt.

"Yeah," Bucky said, and tried on that smile.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [so like evening like probably not expecting this] Janis: what you up to tonight Jimmy: What are you about to ask me to do? Janis: Sadly, nothing that exciting Janis: but I need out of this house so if you've got something going on, we can make some #content Jimmy: Find a party and I'll meet you there Janis: Okay Janis: it's been dry so far but not everyone can have decided to be boring all at once Jimmy: have you moved to a new town without telling me? Jimmy: bit rude to make me fake ldr Janis: God, I wish Janis: I need to be several towns over with the noise that being made in this gaff rn Jimmy: They're there and you didn't invite me? That's more than a bit rude, mate 💔 Janis: Oh yeah Janis: sleepover fetish is so real 🤤😍 Jimmy: You know how I feel about you in PJs Jimmy: how dare you Janis: I know you're just gutted you didn't get a chance to see 💀👑 in hers Janis: 💔💔 hurts Jimmy: [brings back the # he started about her only wearing pjs cos I skim re-read that convo post school trip yesterday] Janis: Fine, come over Janis: if you love a throwback that hard Janis: we won't be sharing a room with them though Jimmy: I'd 💕 some enthusiasm Janis: You can have all the snacks they won't eat Jimmy: Has my true love cleared that? Janis: You have to save her from herself Janis: they do it on purpose, it's a binge waiting to happen Jimmy: hot Janis: If you've got a saviour complex Janis: put on your cape, crown of thorns, whatever suits Jimmy: If you've got a short enough memory to forget me saving you from a life threatening injury and nursing you back from the brink Jimmy: suited you then Janis: I remember, if less dramatically and in your favour Janis: but I never said it didn't suit Jimmy: know my audience and how they remember it Jimmy: Give me your address then, Juliet Janis: Hmm, Grace would say you owe her damages, probably Janis: [does, lol soz] Jimmy: she knows where I am if she wants to claim Jimmy: I'll have 'em off you though for taking the piss Janis: Only my parents doing that Janis: I'll pay for an uber if you can cope with the flex Janis: desperate times, like Jimmy: shut up Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude is sending me into the middle of nowt to get 💀🔪🔪 Janis: You can trust me Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 🙂🙂🙂🙂 Jimmy: Stop messing about, rich girl Janis: I ain't, look on street view or some shit, it's a big hippie farmhouse Jimmy: [does so a pause] Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Janis: I'll get you an uber now, yeah? Janis: before they 💀🔪🔪 me in some sleepover satanic ritual Jimmy: I can't have them fucking with our pact Janis: my hero 💘 Jimmy: there's your first caption sorted Janis: I'll think of something as mushy for you in the meantime Jimmy: do you need owt other than a ✞? I'm at the shop Janis: 🤔 Janis: get a like meal for two I can pretend I cooked Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I assume you've got 🚬s Jimmy: I'll grab drinks though Janis: can do Janis: we have some shit here too though Jimmy: What's #goals when you're not drinking a flat white? Janis: if it's pink and alcoholic Jimmy: [sends her pics of different drinks like rose wine or pink gin or whatever else like ?] Janis: Better go gin Janis: it is an emergency Jimmy: [when that's got mum energy so you're lowkey triggered and don't reply] Janis: [when you think it's 'cos it was too pricey or something so you're like oh no faux pas] Janis: the rose would be fine too, I'm not fussy, as you know by now Jimmy: [thinking about Harry too now but sends a selfie from the uber with the gin secured like everything's fine] Janis: 😍 Janis: should I socials that? Jimmy: Why not? Janis: idk how vain you're feeling Janis: maybe you wanna fix your hair Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: if I weren't I wouldn't be coming to mess up yours Janis: 😏 Janis: [does post it, with all that enthusiasm about him coming that is so fake uhuh] Jimmy: [a cute little back and forth in the comments while he's on route] Janis: [one of them clearly has liked it so now they know they know] Janis: There we go, committed now Jimmy: [love that though cos it gives them an excuse to go harder with it which he would and is] Jimmy: Is that a record or what? Janis: wait 'til you see their creepy faces fogging up the glass Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: no horror films needed Janis: got the setting Janis: even if I 🤞 I'm here, like Jimmy: Promise you'll protect me Janis: 💪 babe Janis: you're safe with me Jimmy: Say it then Janis: What? Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Oh Janis: I promise I'll protect you from 💀👑 and her underlings Janis: salt circles all ready, like Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: you're feeling generous Janis: have you opened that pink gin without me Jimmy: you ain't feeling any trust towards me Jimmy: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: I'm trusting you with my life rn Janis: you've got to fend off the pillows in the night Jimmy: hot Janis: glad you think so Jimmy: oi, be glad you know it Jimmy: that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: Add it to my collection Janis: 🎟🎟🎟🎟 what do I win when I get enough? Jimmy: What do you want? Janis: fuck a 🧸 obvs Jimmy: If that's what you're getting me to this sleepover for, steady on Jimmy: he can buy me a drink first instead of making me bring my own Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: stop Janis: his plans are set and he is gutted Janis: 🚫 sneaking out Jimmy: me an' all, put in loads of groundwork on that trip Jimmy: treating him mean and all that bollocks Janis: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: when it was all a cunning ruse to see Mr. Bear again Jimmy: It's my turn to cheat, Joanne Janis: you'll have to take your free pass to the bathroom 'cos we can't not share a room Janis: and I don't need to witness that tah Jimmy: It's alright, I won't kiss him on the mouth Janis: she probably practices on him Janis: it'll be sticky Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: I said I never opened the gin not that I ain't drank nowt Janis: such a lightweight Jimmy: Leave it out, pisshead Jimmy: I didn't know you were gonna 🍑📞 Janis: Do you feel cheap? Janis: 'cos that ride ain't, so don't worry boo 😘 Jimmy: I ain't been in an uber before, how could I not feel 🤑🤑 Janis: 🤞 you get here unmurdered and unmolested Janis: driver gonna ruin my night, like Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: that might make my night 💕👴 Janis: obviously, I am here to ruin your night Janis: 🍑📞 shoulda let you know Janis: were you out? Jimmy: With who, my other fake girlfriend? Janis: I can be that jealous Janis: they'd pretend they didn't love that but they so would Jimmy: I'd drink to it Janis: [a picture of 🧸 in the washing machine like 'bout to drown a bitch for you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: sod nudes, get you a girl who sends 💀💀💀 threats she's about to follow through on Janis: you're so welcome Janis: he'll be date ready and so will you 🍆💦💦 Jimmy: Depends if they've set a trap on the front door Janis: There's no way they'll be ready for gentlemen callers that soon Janis: you could be travelling from the fucking moon and they'd still be hiding Jimmy: Asia's always ready for me, babe Jimmy: The tall one an' all Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: soz that you thought you were my only starcrossed lover Janis: Of course not Janis: just the idea of those two doing anything beyond 😭 makes me wanna 💀💀💀 obvs Jimmy: I might 🤢🤢🤢 which is 💀👑 ultimate kink so please shut up Janis: Errm they're your lovers, not mine Jimmy: sound more gutted, mate Janis: what is it this time Janis: 😍 for you or them Jimmy: Me obvs Jimmy: keep up, girl Janis: thanks for saying I'm doing a 🥇🏆 job Jimmy: You're not gay, Judith Jimmy: And even if you were, you ain't 🥇 enough to fake 😍 for them Janis: that was very affirming and then rude Janis: but I'll take it Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: I'd offer you a gold star but that's a bit Janis: insulting at this point Jimmy: I never thought you were Janis: ? Jimmy: Why did you reckon I thought you were gay? Janis: 'cos you said I was obsessed with them Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: I said the bollocks they say and do is more important to you than it is to me Janis: You might wanna work on your phrasing then Janis: but idc Jimmy: Alright Janis: but for the record, I only think you're gay for Dan Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: v offensive that I've not affirmed your heterosexuality in his 👀 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: I won't Janis: deeply wounded Jimmy: Tah for the warning so I don't go arse over in the blood Janis: not a very heroic way to die Janis: even Romeo did better Jimmy: He had Bill, I'm holding my own 🖋 Janis: hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: [tweets that gem] Jimmy: [having another flirt via socials] Janis: [love that for you] Jimmy: Have you got a balcony? Janis: Sadly not Janis: been let down big time there Jimmy: And I couldn't fit the 🎻 in my overnight bag Janis: Just when we needed it most Jimmy: it's a piss poor shout, I'm sorry baby Janis: It's alright, in terms of convincing them we're fucking all night, probably need a less 💔 soundtrack Jimmy: 👍 or 👎 to Romeo + Juliet soundtrack? Janis: yes Janis: of course Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: For an all nighter we've got our Easter Rising one an' all, Tah Dan Janis: He'll be thrilled he's having a hand in our fictional fuckfest, I'm sure Janis: a hand in was the best choice of words there Jimmy: He'll be getting me through it 🍆💦💦 Janis: 🤤 hard same Janis: you were such a cockblock Jimmy: Invite him over, I'll go home Janis: He probably has a curfew Janis: God bless Jimmy: Bringing him into it an' all again Janis: He does reside here Janis: apparently Janis: I've never seen him and he doesn't do any chores but Jimmy: holy 👻 and unholy 👻 boy in your gaff Jimmy: might be a scrap Janis: you'll be buzzin' then Janis: making your night over and over, babe Jimmy: can't stop being #goals you Janis: not an amateur Jimmy: loads of time to prove it in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You do sleepovers with your mates before? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 🤷 Janis: curious Janis: not as talked about Janis: what do boys do Jimmy: What do you reckon? Jimmy: I'd be gutted to 💔 you Janis: Obviously I'm 💔 that you don't talk about girls and 'practice' kissing Janis: but if you confirm you just play videogames and drink cheap beers on the low, I think I'll survive Jimmy: We do talk about girls but there's no need to practice kissing when you're this 😎🏆 Janis: 😏 okay Janis: not sharing your expertise is selfish of you Jimmy: My ex shared it round plenty, don't worry Jimmy: Half the north knows my tips and tricks Janis: Bummer Janis: No thinking I'm special then, I hear you Jimmy: I can't stop you thinking owt Janis: It's alright, I'm specials in every other way Jimmy: Bighead strikes again Janis: yeah, try and deny it, dickhead Jimmy: That you think you're special? Janis: You know what I meant Janis: you 🙊 me 🙉 Jimmy: Oi I'm 🦍 Jimmy: Ask my man Janis: You're SO hench, babe Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: I'm SO lucky Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: You picked a film for us to not watch yet? Janis: I'm debating what the worst romcom of all time is Jimmy: [sends her a little list because he's had a nightmare girlfriend] Jimmy: off the top of my head Janis: kink unlocked Janis: that's worse than any of the others so far, God Janis: deviant Jimmy: Piss off Janis: No wonder they all love you Jimmy: They ain't unlocked any of my kinks, real or fake Janis: Are you sure? Janis: they're accomplished stalkers if fuck all else, like Jimmy: I don't have a tinder with 'em listed Jimmy: What are they gonna stalk? Janis: Yo 🧠 Janis: vampire style Jimmy: You're the only 🧛 I've met Janis: 😏 Janis: and I'd do it again Janis: were I not bound to protect you Jimmy: Crack on Jimmy: If we're meant to be pulling a 💕 all nighter you'll have to do something Janis: If we're convincing enough, they'll spread it 'fore us Janis: spare your precious skin Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: [is extra on socials again for the final time like see how convincing I am] Janis: I know it didn't hurt that bad, baby Jimmy: Do you? Janis: Did it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: That's not fair Janis: if I Mike Tyson'd you you have to say Jimmy: I'll tell you in my oscar speech Janis: You'll be thanking me then Janis: ha, knew you loved it Jimmy: for the adversity Jimmy: tah Janis: pisstake Jimmy: you Janis: ☝ boy Jimmy: Why are you trying to truth or dare me before I'm in the door? Calm it down, Joan Janis: Party don't start 'til you walk in? Janis: Psh Jimmy: I need an audience and a stage, Bill can relate Janis: Duh Janis: what it's all about Jimmy: #whenshegetsyou Janis: we're a step away from a contract Jimmy: 🩸🖋💌 Janis: trying to tempt me with some bloodletting Janis: 😳 is it hot in here Jimmy: I wanna get my 🎟🎟🎟🎟🎟 too Janis: you already knew that one Janis: #eargate Jimmy: Yeah but now you're in the mood Jimmy: might let loads slip Janis: You'll have to work harder than this Jimmy: [🔥 sext because why not] Janis: did your driver co-write that or Jimmy: You can ask him when you pay him, that won't be weird Janis: just wondering where the audience is Jimmy: Post it if you wanna find them, not gonna be far away Janis: [does not] Janis: I'm not going to make you meet my parents, by the way Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Should be a rule that Jimmy: I'd bleed to keep you away from mine Janis: Now you're just trying to be hot Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: #effortless Janis: you better not be in that car Janis: not paying your cleaning bill too Jimmy: It's behind the ear you didn't take off Jimmy: We're alright Janis: Can't say I'm not fair 😏 Jimmy: Not when anyone's about Janis: I know the audience too Jimmy: Be a long night if you don't Janis: shut up Janis: they'll crash before we do anyway Janis: then you can actually do what you want Jimmy: I know you wanna talk about girls and play videogames like a northern lad Jimmy: 🥧🥔🍺 weren't the meal deal though 💔 Janis: 🖕 Janis: oh no, however will I cope Jimmy: I dunno, mate Jimmy: I'll have to double up on the heroics, me Janis: you're allowed to sleep, you know Janis: overtime ain't an all-nighter too Jimmy: might do but I only chucked the one bottle in my basket Janis: we've got some great sleeping pills Janis: dessert 💕 Jimmy: You're alright Janis: 🤷 Janis: not on commission Jimmy: You must know the audience if you're trying to knock me out this hard Janis: How long can we be in each other's company before you try to seriously injure me Janis: nothing but self-preservation here Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I know my own 💪🏆 Janis: Doing it on purpose don't make it no better Janis: 'less I asked for it, obvs Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: 'Cause if that's a #kinkunlocked I'll have my 🎟 Janis: 🙊 Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: 💀👑 is definitely a freak Janis: probably just encourage her to keep 👀 Jimmy: 🍿 or 📹? Janis: cotton balls soaked in 0cal 'butter' spray Jimmy: 😋😋😋 Janis: though if she were to 📹 wouldn't be the first time Janis: still getting tagged 🙄 Jimmy: #same Janis: hmm, at least your tits aren't low-key out Jimmy: I'll get 'em out tonight Jimmy: Only fair Janis: 😂 Janis: clearly dying to anyway Jimmy: They're 🥇 I gotta keep it #goals Janis: this town ain't big enough for both our heads Jimmy: It's alright, I ain't gonna be here long Janis: Nah? Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: Yeah, well convincing that one Jimmy: Not on the clock yet Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: 💀👑 got you plaiting or 💅? Either way you're gonna need some glue Janis: not touching her without gloves Janis: one of your girlfriends is asking about you Jimmy: Duh we'd get caught for the 🔪🔪💀 before we had chance to piss off anywhere Jimmy: Which one? Janis: you're pissing off anyway, I'll have to live, murder and die here Janis: now you're interested Jimmy: Oh come on, baby, where I go, you go 💕 Janis: you can drop me off the first place that isn't here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: kink unlocked Janis: have a 🎟 Jimmy: Common sense ain't one Janis: don't tell me what my kinks are and aren't, boy Janis: you're not in control like that Jimmy: I'm 👮🚔 remember Jimmy: might be a kink division Janis: you are ridiculous Janis: and garda ain't telling me nothing Jimmy: I ain't a paddy, law's different up North, that'll be why it's grim Janis: I've seen the procedurals, mate Janis: you aren't old and grizzled enough to be the maverick Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You'll make the driver 😳 Janis: 🤞 you crash, of course Jimmy: Not unless it's right outside yours and you can throw yourself in front as we do Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact not 👻 me and widow you Janis: but you love black Janis: but fine, I'll throw myself on the wreckage Jimmy: on me, give a shit what you wear, hun Janis: fine, I'll go play dress up with them Janis: good luck faking 😍 then Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: 1. PJs or I ain't coming in Jimmy: 2. maybe I wanna be pretty an' all, bit rude not to wait for the love of your life Jimmy: 3. 🥇 or nowt Janis: 1. admit you care more Janis: 2. you're pretty enough, sweetheart Janis: 3. 💪 Jimmy: More than what? Janis: just more than you protesting Jimmy: About what? Janis: that you don't give a shit what I wear Janis: you started a # Jimmy: Mr Lucas gives a shit what you wear, I just fake it Janis: real mvp Janis: he'd be way more buzzing my parents were out Jimmy: probably a bit late to invite him Jimmy: I reckon I'm here near enough Janis: know how you feel about threesomes Janis: I'll come find you Jimmy: first off, it were you who 🚫 my proposition for us and that dickhead of yours to have one Jimmy: second, you better had, you did 🤞 Janis: Was not Janis: and he's not MY dickhead, just a dickhead, don't put that on me Janis: [meeting him dramatically 'cos they watching, turning her eyes up to the window so he can see] Jimmy: [we know he's gonna go with it and we know why so] Janis: [we all know you're both grateful for an excuse to kiss each other on sight] Jimmy: [pick her up boy even though you'll have to put down what you're carrying #priorities] Janis: [when y'all would NEVER let a man lmao] Jimmy: [we all know y'all are lowkey like DON'T TOUCH ME] Janis: [tbf a boy was like i can pick you up when i was like 13 and i was like you can't and then he tried and was like oh you're heavy rude you're just weak] Jimmy: [I'm so 😡] Janis: [don't need that potential trigger in your life ladies] Jimmy: [I'm dying though like get inside you two, there's never any need to go as hard or long as you do] Janis: [so method lol] Jimmy: [Gotta like throw the food at her as soon as you're inside because a second has passed without being rude and god forbid] Janis: [just judging his choices like hmm 'cos same] Jimmy: [😒 like oi as if he's not just been rude but opening the gin even before there's glasses #calm down] Janis: [raising a brow but not saying anything 'cos you're like yeah, fair, pointing him over to wherever the glasses are so you can fake cook this meal real quick] Jimmy: [raising his own like oh you fancy as if he was just gonna swig it from the bottle forever but pours some into her mouth first because so needed and shamelessly flirty all the time before going to sort glasses like nothing even happened okay] Janis: ['have some decorum, boy' 😏 until he does that then you're like 😳 'tryna get me drunk too' tutting dramatically] Jimmy: [just shakes his head also 😏 at the words and the tuts 'Don't worry, I know, wouldn't be very goals, that'] Janis: [shrugs 'depends'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I know it would be for you but we don't set the goals] Janis: [looking back 'til the microwave pings and brings you back 'round 'you've seen 'em at parties, right pissheads'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'You're a lightweight, and we've got content to create' realises that rhymes and does a little flourish in the air like he's writing with a pen cos poet and nerd] Janis: [when you can't help but lol, even though you're trying to 🙄 is creating #content already and making this meal look #aesthetic and #goals for the 'gram before pushing a plate at him like there you go] Jimmy: [control your 😍 over her cute laugh by acting like that food is so interesting and important] Janis: [but don't control it too hard 'cos cringe couples always take pics of each other eating so get ready for your closeup boy] Jimmy: [that's tea and you know they are seeing/interacting with all this nonsense so you gotta go for it] Janis: [hence you know to stay out the kitchen but you won't, like what you need ladies] Jimmy: [thank god they'd hear them coming so he can be like come sit on my lap for a sec as if that's where she's been the whole time, just not practical, I'd throw food all over you by accident boo] Janis: [again, doing things y'all would never do, and we know you two love this so] Jimmy: [like I'mma just feed you something girl let's see how hard we can trigger Mia] Janis: [how you don't lol, just permanent 😏 like living your best life] Jimmy: [we've only just begun to live] Janis: [classic 'oh you've got something here-' and shamelessly caressing his face] Jimmy: [shameless makeout sesh ensues because if you stay now gals you're the ones making it weird] Janis: [clearly overstaying your welcome for slightly too long before making a comment and running off giggling like you're 12] Jimmy: [let you go 🚬 once they're gone boy cos longest uber ride ever] Janis: [truly, the struggle is so real, wait 'til we make you go on the bus that goes all 'round the houses lol] Jimmy: [hasn't invited her cos we back to being rude obvs] Janis: [so charming lol, on the sofa like 😒] Jimmy: [when you're ages and we know it's because you always need all the moments after kissing her] Janis: you want me to pay for 🚬 or what Jimmy: Save the flex for one that's more #relatable to the fans Janis: I asked if you'd got 'em, could've warned me if I weren't getting none, like Jimmy: Come here Janis: You can save it for me Janis: take breaks in shifts Janis: professional Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👌 Janis: soz, btw Jimmy: For what? Janis: not brushing my teeth Janis: know its a big pet peeve Jimmy: used to how minging you are by now, Josephine Janis: if you gave some warning Janis: face hugger Jimmy: soz I can't always hear 💀👑's bones creaking, bit deaf, me Jimmy: might be the one ear Jimmy: and anyway it depends Janis: It's romantic, you wanna be a great artiste, don't you Janis: and what does it depend on then Jimmy: Why would I wanna be owt of the sort? Jimmy: It depends what lads you've had round before me, what else? Janis: get bitches get money Janis: obvs Janis: I was talking about being mid-dinner, don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: 👌 Janis: will ask about getting that revolving door installed though Janis: tah for the reminder Jimmy: Gracie'll be 👍 when you do Janis: yeah Janis: whole house full of slags, like Jimmy: you do live in the middle of nowt, gotta have something to do Janis: decent excuse Jimmy: only so much horse riding even a rich girl can do Janis: one in the same if you're that kind of rich girl Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: obvs Janis: have to have one to pay for the other Janis: basic maths Jimmy: Alright 🤓 Janis: giving you 💰 tips for nothing here Jimmy: can't take it with me Janis: why not Jimmy: What do you mean? Jimmy: I reckon hell's got a free bar in the very least Janis: Optimistic Janis: I've at least heard that passage, like Janis: you'd be so lucky Jimmy: if you want the pessimistic angle, it'll rot in the ground Jimmy: got that covered Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [comes back in cos can't be out there forever] Janis: [puts hand out like gimme 'cos obvs you need to leave immediately] Jimmy: [does but also gives her look like bit rude] Janis: [a look like you started it but still saying thanks, not a heathen] Jimmy: [chucks her his jacket/hoodie or whatever even though it's april] Janis: ['good thinking' as she walks out the door] Jimmy: [drink your gin boy] Janis: [clearly taking a cute selfie in that, minus cigarette] Jimmy: [be extra fake to hide how good you think she actually looks please] Janis: [ah the fakery of it all this is fine lollol] Jimmy: [I'm gonna give her a bit then have him come out like he DESPERATELY needs something from his pocket suddenly 1. what even would that be boy 2. no you don't 3. you also don't need to be so hot about it like reaching over her and all that jazz] Janis: [just a LOOK] Jimmy: [when your plan was to just walk away but of course you have to give her a look back] Janis: [offering out the 🚬 like he didn't just have his own, but then doing the sexy blowback moment when he's like okay] Jimmy: [he's just dying now, aren't we all, like didn't expect that did you bitch] Janis: [definition of 😏] Jimmy: [walk away Jimothy you're in too deep] Jimmy: [but I like to imagine he walks into one of the flat whites when he's all flustered, feed that narrative even by accident lads] Janis: [joy of joys, poor boy lol] Janis: you can pick a film Janis: one you might actually wanna watch then one to switch back to Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: 👍 Janis: Brb, I'll go pretend to do what girls do Janis: [comes in but goes upstairs] Jimmy: [we all know he's watching her go, boy be careful] Janis: [we all throwing all the glances like this ain't a dangerous game] Jimmy: [take the time she's upstairs to calm down please and thank you sir] Janis: [we out here brushing out teeth obvs] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but at least being in there can give you the idea for bathgate] Janis: [🔥💡] Jimmy: [what could possibly go wrong like] Janis: [hohahaha] Jimmy: [sending her some of his fave comments from what they've posted so far cos shady bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos likewise] Janis: wish Dan would comment though Janis: what's he up to Jimmy: 💔💔 Hang on Jimmy: [has a stalk and likewise sends her his fave things he finds] Janis: awh Janis: what a man Jimmy: that his missus? Jimmy: 🔪🔪 Janis: so jealous Janis: learn to be fake happy Jimmy: in a bit, gotta go arrange a 🥇 threesome Jimmy: be really happy after Janis: wait 'til you're off the clock Janis: do whatever you want then Jimmy: UGH Janis: it's mutual Jimmy: 🤞 that's what Dan's girlfriend'll say Janis: she's dating Dan Janis: her lack of sense and taste is obvious and in your favour, congrats Jimmy: I KNOW HE'S SOOOOOOOO 🥇👑😍🏆💪 Jimmy: tah for the #hype babes Jimmy: I reckon now I can 🎯 Janis: [comes down like let's get this over with] Jimmy: [puts on whatever he can bear to watch cos even the flat whites ain't gonna appear that quick] Janis: [and sitting as far apart as you can without it being impossible to be all over each other in 5 secs when needed] Jimmy: [does top up her drink for her though cos isn't as rude as he pretends to be] Janis: [cheers and drinks that too fast] Jimmy: [he's gone the other way and barely touched his because he's like I'm clearly too drunk rn after what happened with the blowbacks] Janis: [ah the confusion and awkwardness] Jimmy: [just on his phone even though he should wanna watch this since he picked it lol] Janis: [getting herself more drink that isn't gin] Jimmy: [wise move babe] Janis: [although mixing perhaps isn't, but rude like that and it isn't as if you've hung with anyone in time now nevermind the clusterfuck of what is this] Jimmy: [Christ knows what he had to drink before he got here so likewise a dickhead and likewise antisocial we know] Janis: [can't leave this forever though have some of 'em run through like we need drinks or whatever they're coming up with, so you gotta low-key launch yourself at him and get into some kind of snuggle position like oh hey but also not hey, only 😍 for him soz] Jimmy: [he changed it to a rom-com cos good reflexes though] Janis: [offering them the gin like I'm such a nice person and I'm so good here 'cos that'll piss Mia off] Jimmy: [when you have to snuggle her extra hard cos you're trying not to lol] Janis: [tickling him 'cos PDA comes in so many forms why are you just watching this lmao] Jimmy: [when he'd be so mad about it but all he can do rn is playfight cos gotta be 😍] Janis: [when you know it so now you're loling too with secret 😏 that only he gonna pick up on] Jimmy: [gotta exploit wherever she's most ticklish like 😏] Janis: [regrets, you have none, even though you're dying] Jimmy: [just having fun working out all the bae's ticklish places like this is so casual] Janis: [all 'oh my god, stop' in that fake ass don't stop way] Jimmy: ['make me' cos we all know what that means haha] Janis: [mmmmmakeout time, take your cue to leave] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you don't notice that they've left for a bit] Janis: [always think that like how you breaking this up just like, anyway] Jimmy: [honestly forever going 0-1000 and back again like this is fine] Janis: [no wonder you going cray] Jimmy: [literally, unrelated but did Mia take that gin or nah? lol] Janis: [I feel like Asia took it like yay and Mia will tell her off lmao] Jimmy: [that's real af so I second it and Grace is gonna drink it cos they are doing her head in] Janis: [when you need to get drunk to enjoy your friend's company, happy days] Jimmy: [when your friends are so obsessed with your sister and her man though] Janis: [soz it's a moment babe] Jimmy: [just you wait til bathgate gals] Janis: [oh lordy] Janis: what else do girls like them like then Janis: 'cos you got to admit, it's a laugh getting to 'em and winding them up Jimmy: [a really cute concentration face while he's thinking] Jimmy: Facemasks? Janis: [hiding your 😍 by pulling a pisstakey face] Janis: alright, but I ain't putting any of the weird shit on they do Janis: especially if I end up looking as rough as them Jimmy: Hang on, I'll go ask Gracie if she's got any of those bollocks sheet ones everyone 📷 themselves in Jimmy: What animal do you wanna be? Janis: 🤔 are you serious Jimmy: 🙀 it is then? Alright, I'll ask Jimmy: [Gets up and heads towards the stairs] Janis: you don't even know what room is hers Jimmy: I'll follow the 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [and is] Janis: your ⚰ Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'll chill here and ponder my inevitable grief-fuelled suicide Jimmy: hot Janis: soz you won't be around to 👀 Jimmy: 👻 Janis: a 👻 with a threesome to plan Jimmy: I won't be able to touch nowt so I might as well 👀 you 🔪⚰ Janis: love being 2nd choice Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Dan's missus is 🥈 you're 🥉 my dear Janis: fuck off and hurry up Jimmy: [Comes back with the masks like 😏 and of course puts hers on her even though she easily could herself but gotta have that whole MOMENT of him getting her hair out of the way first cos shamelessly loves touching it] Janis: [when this is somehow more intimate than anything you've done so far so you're like where do I put my eyes] Jimmy: [they're really sticky though and he isn't expecting it so he's like wtf and grossed out but then amused at himself and it's so cute bye] Janis: [yeah they're gross she's probably horrified so that'll break the tension just like what the fuck but lol too] Jimmy: [he's genuinely smiling and loling for the first time since god knows when] Janis: [when he's so cute you have to slap this ridiculous on his face fast] Jimmy: [what animals should they be? I think he should be a 🐼 cos lol] Janis: [that's a popular one, we can say there was a 🐱 'cos why not] Jimmy: [yass take your nerdy selfies lads] Janis: [when they'd still look cute too, arseholes] Jimmy: [I'm as fuming about that as Grace would be that he came to her room when she's been hiding all night] Janis: [things are only gonna get worse soz gurl] Janis: this is a great poker face Janis: [says something #shocking and ridiculous with the dead face it gives you to prove the point] Jimmy: [when you lol and yours slips cos they do and they are crap but you take it off and throw it at her anyway cos it's wet and gross and you hate it] Jimmy: decent weapon an' all Janis: [throwing it right back like excuse me] Janis: you're a child Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: if you wanna go home, phones over there, baby Janis: [throws the masks in the direction of like an animal] Jimmy: [moves like he's gonna get up and go but nudges her playfully instead like what's next] Janis: [ponders seriously] Janis: I need to get this gunk off me Janis: [pulls him up like follow me, does not need to be hand-holding but are going upstairs so you know, just in case] Jimmy: [love it and so does he] Janis: [I say get in that bathroom] Jimmy: [gets in the bath like he did at the party just watching her sort her face out] Janis: [looking at him via the mirror like what are you doing but amused not annoyed] Jimmy: [hits her with a 'What?' like he's not shamelessly looking at her] Janis: [nods like 'you want me to run that or?'] Jimmy: [just reclining in there like a nerd and shrugs] Janis: [shakes her head and comes over, acts like she's leaning over to turn the shower on, but doesn't and instead gets in the other end like, see why you like it so much] Jimmy: [does a hand movement like he's splashing her with imaginary water cos oi] Janis: ['nerd' 😏 but reclining and putting her feet in her lap like don't mind me] Janis: his* Jimmy: [just being soft instead doing the this little pig went to market thing to her toes quietly like it's meant to be under his breath but it's not his own funny version probably cos he is a nerd] Janis: [just letting this be even though being soft freaks you the fuck out on the low 'you're so weird, new kid' under her own but nudging him just in case he's forgotten that that's a ref and not a massive drag] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ah good times cos he obvs remembers 'feels like ages ago that'] Janis: ['yeah' and pausing 'cos truly, so much going down in such a short space of time 'didn't think you'd still be here- not in my bath, like'] Jimmy: [nods cos same] Janis: [when you feel the mood shift so you're like away from that topic 'we'll always have the playlist'] Jimmy: [he obvs puts it on cos that bitch but quietly so Mia and Co don't hear it over their music or film or whatever and judge] Janis: [just like what kinda mood music lol, just grooving lowkey 'well worth the A'] Jimmy: [😍 cos I can't stop him if she's gonna be that much of a babe] Janis: [hitting him back with a 'what?' but in a challenging kinda way] Jimmy: [getting out of the tub like he's just remembered he's still got that mask residue on his face which true but like you don't have to literally deal with it this second] Janis: [just stretching out and back, closing her eyes] Jimmy: [taking his t-shirt off cos he said he'd get his tits out and also it means he can throw it at her playfully before washing his face] Janis: [shook and then 😠 'it stinks' and throwing it back like okay it so clearly doesn't babe] Jimmy: [😏 to hide the fact you're lowkey worried that you do smell like oh no and because you're awks and you don't want her to know, pulling her up to sit on the edge of the bath so you can take a selfie kissing her whilst topless for the fans because that's as far as your contribution to bathgate has got so far] Jimmy: [but then you stop to make sure the bath looks aesthetic and generally faff like she did with the food earlier so excuse to go again for the re-do] Janis: [taking it and reposting it on your story with 😍 over his nips] Jimmy: [🙄 even though you're actually amused cos can't let that show] Janis: ['you wanna be x-rated?' at the 🙄] Jimmy: [Gives her a look like well that depends what you mean even though he knows she ain't suggesting they get x-rated 'cause cheeky like that] Janis: [winks but then gets off of the edge of the bath, going through wherever all the bath lotions and potions are kept 'run it hot, lover boy'] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow but obviously does and draws the infamous love heart with JJ inside in the steam on the mirror] Janis: [bringing over an armful of shit and picking a bottle and pouring a stupid amount in, looking at him like, fill your boots] Jimmy: [when you have fun putting loads of shit in like when you're a kid and you make potions] Janis: [Grace gon' be fuming again, so soz but not really, when there's an aesthetic amount of bubbles and colour going on, taking a deep breath and hoping you did that quiet enough as you take your clothes off like in we get] Jimmy: [puts loud music on so you can pretend you're busy with that not 👀 at her] Janis: [at least there's sooo many bubbles to artfully place lol this is fine this is normal] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like are you sure because you're a soft good boy but you also don't wanna ask because it's gotta be all so fake and you don't care so you're just lowkey taking an age outside that tub pretending it's because you're getting the lighting and angles right and bollocks like that] Janis: [just letting him 'cos not trying to be a pushy bitch but also like, well I've done it now boy so 'you can leave your pants on' but in a tone of, again, I haven't so] Jimmy: [well we know he won't and doesn't cos there's a challenge there and they are always accepted] Janis: [when you don't wanna 👀 but also don't wanna make a massive point of turning away 'cos that's not chill and idgaf attitude so you focus on looking at his face and then instantly regret that 'cos eye contact like oh, we doing this] Jimmy: [such intense eye contact being maintained like okay we just eye fucking rn this is fine] Janis: [when anything and everything you could possibly say rn sounds like double entendre, like is it hot enough for you etc, so you just settle for 'okay?'] Jimmy: [can only nod because likewise can't trust himself to speak atm] Janis: [taking a picture of the bath setup to be like #boydonegood about it but you know you're just buying time before the actual show of it all] Jimmy: [letting that happen because not gonna be a dick about it] Janis: ['you're the photographer, how do we get the best shot?'] Jimmy: [you move boy because we don't need to force her to and have a bubble nip slip when we've only just begun but like obvs position her however you do need to because we're obvs taking this very seriously here and the cute concentration face is back] Janis: [just shamelessly watching him work, but definitely moving closer than he positioned you like is this okay, testing those limits honey] Jimmy: [just says 'Alright' like are you asking her as a question or are you saying you are or are you like we're ready, what's the truth Jimothy] Janis: ['is it?'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?' Boy you're so annoying] Janis: [splashes him, using the water to mess up his hair appropriately 'just take the photo then'] Jimmy: [when you're gonna be like 😒 oi but that's actually a good idea when it clicks what she's doing and you take the shameless excuse to be like 'hang on' and run your wet hands through her hair too and we all see you taking your time with that] Janis: [just not breathing 'til he's done 'how do we look?' and a LOOK 'cos you can see how he looks] Jimmy: ['you look-' only breaking that LOOK to stare at her lips honey 'goals, obvs' eventually gets said because focus boy but it's so not what he was gonna say goodbye] Janis: [when you're so frustrated the 'come on then' comes out so easily] Jimmy: [taking so many pics from so many different angles and kissing her in so many different ways like do you need to be this extra, the answer is no but also yes] Janis: [when you're going in, like you're ever uploading more than one of these each like yes, we need all these options] Jimmy: [like we all know at certain points the camera ain't even taking pics but they haven't noticed/ do not care] Janis: [we all know with the amount of shit you put in its gonna be slippery as hell so gonna allow you to legit slip further onto him without it being a shameless oopsies moment] Jimmy: [add to that how good it would feel to not just be stopping and starting like you've had to all night #dangerous] Janis: [when the pretense of making noise for them is so thin at this point like okay] Jimmy: [regretting putting that loud music on now aren't you boy because yeah good luck not making all the sounds ever rn that only she can hear] Janis: [we know no one is stopping to turn it down rn] Jimmy: [they wouldn't stop if the bath fell through the ceiling rn lol] Janis: [true that, just gently pulling him down so he's laying on her like are you even in frame] Jimmy: [we know he's not and nobody's bothered god bless] Janis: [how far are we letting this go/how do we stop 'em lol] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking cos like someone could knock on the bathroom door like excuse you but that might just encourage them more depending on who they think it is] Jimmy: [maybe one of them actually could slip because actually perilous?] Janis: [orrr what if they didn't actually lock the door 'cos when you're faking it'd be bants if they walked in but now it ain't so you'll both be mad] Jimmy: [AMAZING we simply must] Janis: [💀#2 enter] Jimmy: [when you literally can't get out of that bath regardless of what happens because too turned on and even if you grab a towel that's not really gonna hide anything so you're just like ...........] Janis: [at least you can take the lead like get the fuck out bitch Jimmy: [he'd be actually shook though cos like this early on there's a part of him that still doesn't realise how far the flat whites are willing to take shit but then oh hey girl] Janis: [they're just so immature truly, like when Liv was like WE'RE NOT IN YEAR 11 ANYMORE' to Mini lmao like y'all are but still, we're mature laydeez now] Jimmy: [honestly, Grace and Janis would have a reason to be stuck cos their sister died when they were 12, what's y'alls] Janis: [#eatingdisordersquad Jimmy: [And Mia's weird daddy's girl energy ew] Janis: [this is why y'all are only friends with each other, lordy] Jimmy: [I'm intrigued to know what Ava thinks because she didn't exist before and like] Janis: [she'd think they were really tragic and cringe but it's not like she has to hang with them longer than the odd event like Grace's bdays so she wouldn't be like umm your friends] Jimmy: [poor Grace in a toxic relationship with someone for a decade that she doesn't even get to bang] Janis: [come get your toxic friend 'fore she get drowned lmao] Jimmy: [you know Mia would cos can't resist] Janis: [well that's that ruined, just getting out towels and taking one so he can get dried in some semblance of privacy, like] Jimmy: [the levels of fuming] Janis: [some time] Janis: my room is upstairs again Jimmy: 👌 Janis: but if you wanna go Janis: get that Jimmy: And let 💀👑 win? Piss off Jimmy: You're the 🙀 Janis: How am I Jimmy: You scare easily, we worked that out ages ago Janis: Bollocks, you take the piss and have done for ages Jimmy: How do I? Janis: not scared of anything Janis: least of all 💀s Jimmy: Easy to 🗨 Janis: Not as easy to live Janis: but I manage Jimmy: Can you manage to think of owt that'll pay her back or what? Jimmy: You said they'll crash before us Janis: I'm thinking Janis: sure could make her piss herself or shave off her eyebrows but not 12 and it needs to be something better Jimmy: Duh Janis: Clearly not that duh Janis: can't blame 'em for lacking the mental capacities I guess but still will Jimmy: Can't think of nowt when you're starving to 💀💀💀 Jimmy: #relatable Janis: you're thinking of your stomach rn Jimmy: Yeah? Janis: so fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: convention down the hall, go learn some tips Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Hope you're dressed this time Jimmy: They don't so I obvs am Janis: Exactly Janis: probably time for more desperate measures Janis: restraining orders all 'round Jimmy: When should I date yours for, Jules? Jimmy: About a week from now or? Janis: Suits me Janis: works both ways Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where are you actually Janis: it's sinister creepin' about like a 👻 Jimmy: ? Janis: I like to know where everyone is Janis: know where to avoid Janis: don't need repeats Jimmy: I'm outside Jimmy: Avoid the 🚬☁ Janis: Will do Janis: add it to the score I'm keeping though Jimmy: Or just keep up Janis: I'm avoiding your secondhand smoke Janis: put it behind your ear, I'll find it Jimmy: Like I said 🙀 you Jimmy: And you're meant to inhale not bite down Jimmy: so I probably won't put it there Janis: Now who's the pussy Janis: and you told me to Janis: not standing the opposite end of the garden like an overgrown gnome Jimmy: still you then Jimmy: dark's nowt to be scared of, babe Janis: stop saying I'm scared, dickhead Janis: I'm just not a smoker Jimmy: since when, dickhead? Janis: since forever Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: I'm a convincing fake, I know Janis: nothing real about me, remember? Jimmy: 🙄👏🏆 Janis: not that impressive a quote, honestly Janis: you've said better Jimmy: You've done better Janis: 💔 Janis: so sorry Jimmy: I'll be here with the orchestra lads Jimmy: [sends her a little vid of him doing a 🎻 mime] Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: keep that one between us Janis: dunno what that'd imply about the last post but nothing good Jimmy: ❌ my 💘 Janis: deflate your ego more like Janis: can't have you walking 'round like pinhead Jimmy: What ego? Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: Fake dating you, aren't I? Janis: Yeah Janis: you're so lucky Jimmy: Desperate more like Janis: That's obvious Jimmy: Gotta keep it #goals baby Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: can't get enough ever, me Janis: Already said you're fat Janis: preferences in common with them is no surprise to me Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: will have to go home for a 😭😭 Janis: Enjoy Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Enjoy your 🚬 oh wait nah Jimmy: Enjoy the IOU Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: Like you're the only boy with bad habits and a lighter Jimmy: Cavemen invented 🔥 so you'll be grand 🍀 girl Jimmy: if you 🍑📞 party boy now I can kick his uber soon as he gets out, job done Janis: I wanna be disappointed twice in one day like you wanna hang 'round this place Jimmy: so crack on Janis: Funny Jimmy: the joke is I'm still waiting for you to think up a proper idea to piss off them lot Jimmy: sort it out Janis: night's still young Janis: and where's your idea Jimmy: I get it, I look half decent for 45, stop flirting with me and concentrate Janis: What ego? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: I don't know Janis: the problem is everything pisses them off Janis: Grace cries at the drop of a hat, for fuck's sake Janis: it's too easy Jimmy: Alright, what if we give 'em something they really want instead Janis: Self-esteem and good hair? Jimmy: Something they reckon they want but they don't want from us Jimmy: Your gin trick but amplified Jimmy: 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: I see what you're saying Janis: bit too soon to hand out invites to the fake wedding Janis: but if you can stomach it, we can give them the attention they're after Jimmy: 🥇 me Jimmy: Nowt I can't handle Jimmy: Or stomach 'cause I'm obvs such a fat git Janis: if the XXL fits Janis: right, let's go invite ourselves to the sleepover, then 🤢 Jimmy: But it looks better on you, girl 💕 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: you just wanna get your tits out again Jimmy: for you 😘 Janis: I'm sure I won't be able to keep my hands off you, covered titties and company be damned Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: What if this backfires? Jimmy: might reckon I'm bored of you and wanna swap you for my truest love Jimmy: bit too real that Janis: You'll have to resist flirting with them, obviously Janis: but you aren't any good at it so I doubt that'll be an issue Janis: just try not to embarrass yourself Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm just saying if we're so 💕😍😘 why are we getting involved in their bollocks? Janis: Because, I'm such a nice person, and we're so sorry and so embarrassed about earlier? Jimmy: make it at least make fake sense, Jasmine Jimmy: But alright Janis: I don't wanna fuck any of them Janis: sorry 'bout it Janis: I don't know how else you reckon we can 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: soz you think you saw us fucking gift baskets Jimmy: Alright, shut up, I might be overthinking it Jimmy: Soz I'm proper 🧠 Janis: What was that about fake sense? Jimmy: What was that about you doing shit 'cause I told you to? Jimmy: 🤐 mate Janis: That's only when I wanted to do the thing anyway Janis: great at giving me excuses, you Jimmy: You wanna have a lovely chat with 'em all then, do you? Jimmy: Sound Janis: suit you if I did Janis: any excuse to ruin their night Jimmy: Suit me if we didn't have to do any talking Jimmy: I'm that romantic, obvs Janis: Done that part Janis: and you were given an out so you've got no room to complain Jimmy: Where and when was I? Janis: I've literally told you to piss off three times Jimmy: And I've told you I ain't letting 💀👑 reckon she scared me off Jimmy: Or reckon I just leave after we're done like every lad she hasn't 🐍 Janis: Alright, your choice Janis: why do you wanna look like an 😇 Jimmy: Why do you want me to look like a twat? Janis: It doesn't make you seem like a twat Jimmy: It makes it seem like a 🍑📞 that ain't what this is Janis: Obviously not Janis: we are love's young dream 🙄 Janis: my parents are only on a date night themselves though so we're gonna have to get in my room and hide you sooner rather than later Jimmy: If you want me to go, say that Janis: I don't care what you do Janis: I'm stuck regardless Janis: just saying, it's a rule, you said that Jimmy: What it is is a 🥇 excuse not to make the 💀💀💀 with 💕 a well slow death Janis: Come on then Janis: mercy kill it is Jimmy: [Appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [avoiding eye contact like it's your job, just a nod like alright and making your way to Grace's room] Jimmy: [pulling her back like hold my hand bitch] Janis: [Clove has entered the chat, also Winnie] Jimmy: [don't think about how he'd look in whatever he packed to wear to sleep] Janis: [don't you think about it ladies, low-key giving 'em evils even though you gotta be nice Jimmy: [I'm loling because Mia would want to tell them to fuck off cos fuming he's still here but what Grace says goes because it's her house bitch and we know she loves Janis more than you so] Janis: [when you're tipsy and just happy they're here to save your night 'cos your friends have just been talking about 'em and boring you lol] Jimmy: [honestly] Jimmy: [they should be painting their nails because ofc and Grace be like offering to do Janis' cos ILY and Jimmy's like I'll do it cos that's the kind of pinterest bullshit but like he'd obvs do a good job cos artsy hoe and pick a colour she actually fucks with] Janis: [just prolonging hand-holding, we all see you boy] Jimmy: [return of the adorable concentration face] Janis: [we love to see it, when we're sneaking peeps] Jimmy: [Grace putting it on her story to do the work for you lads, Mia be raging] Janis: [hohaha, also blatantly gotta paint his 🖤] Jimmy: [Asia offering him the dregs of the gin back but he's like 'I'm alright' and 😍 at Janis cos so #nice and #lovedup bye] Janis: [smuggest happy face] Jimmy: [a little kiss that you so don't need to give her] Janis: [all pouting like you didn't gatecrash their night] Jimmy: [soz Grace you've done nothing wrong tonight but your friends suck] Janis: [we all know she's having more fun now like soz we're just doing this to piss 'em off] Jimmy: [nothing could ever piss Mia off more than how obvs it is that Grace would rather hang out with JJ so thanks babe] Janis: [doing us a solid] Jimmy: [what other cringe activities can we make coupley af?] Janis: [we could play some kind of game, as they are that childish, idk what] Jimmy: [Mia could suggest like never have I ever or something to that effect cos they're all hoes and they think Janis is such a virgin so she wants to show her up] Janis: [that's a good idea, and they could keep saying really mushy romantic things like #awh 'cos that'll really piss her off] Jimmy: [turn it around on her cos you've never had a bf have you babe so] Janis: [awkwar silence descends lmao] Jimmy: [soz again Grace] Janis: [Asia got her man god bless] Jimmy: [Grace would so end up going off to the bathroom or wherever upset so Mia would be buzzing] Janis: 😬 Janis: she doesn't have feelings to hurt Jimmy: You should go after her before 💀👑 does Jimmy: proper 😇 Janis: Ugh Janis: pains me that you're right Janis: on so many levels Janis: [goes] Jimmy: oughta be used to it by now, mate Janis: 1. ha Janis: 2. it's more about how badly I don't want to console her than it is about admitting you've ever had a good idea Janis: 3. massive headed twat Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: And I miss you already too Janis: you can run down a single flight of stairs and not get winded, yeah Janis: should you need to 🔪🔪🔪🔪 Jimmy: Is the 🔪 in my back or nah? Janis: I dunno where they'll wanna stick it first, babe Jimmy: hot Janis: if you say so Jimmy: I've still got a 💀💀💀 wish, baby, where's yours gone? Janis: you clearly don't get how much it kills me being nice to my sister Jimmy: I never said owt about being nice Jimmy: 💀👑 wouldn't be if she'd taken the job off you Janis: I'm not gonna give her a pep talk about how more dick the better either, tah Jimmy: Get your boyfriend on the line, he'll be up for having a go Janis: You're very helpful Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: Be why Asia's asking me how to make her lad more #goals Janis: She's shameless Janis: sadly don't have his # either or I'd dob her in Jimmy: @ [whatever his actual socials are idk because of course he knows that the shady bitch] Janis: 😂 okay gossip girl Jimmy: xoxo Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll anon it at him Janis: as I've got a rep as such a nice person Jimmy: 👍 Janis: oh Janis: he's unfortunate looking Jimmy: Did you think he'd be more 🤴 than 🐸? Jimmy: Come on Janis: 🐸 is generous Janis: tadpole, like Janis: I thought he'd at least have to be fit Janis: if she was airing you Jimmy: Piss off Janis: SHE 👏 HAS 👏 A 👏 BOYFRIEND 👏 Jimmy: I hate you Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: come back Janis: they're being that bad huh Jimmy: whatever you wanna call trying to dance with me, that'll do Janis: how horrific Janis: pick up your phone Janis: [calling him so they can hear being like 'we need your help to carry this' 'cos gone to make hot chocolates to cheer her] Jimmy: [a coupley af phone moment because those couples who stay on the phone til he's literally a step away from her] Janis: [nerds] Jimmy: [gives Mia the biggest mug like fuck you] Janis: [definitely put loads of baileys in and cream the whole works like drink up bitch] Jimmy: [chin chin gals] Janis: [sipping like 😏 getting cream moustaches then smooching 'em off, disgusting] Jimmy: [also they should dance cos he refused to dance with y'all] Janis: [obvs] Jimmy: [her like nah so he can be like oh please I really wanna, just to really annoy them] Janis: ['cos real also what a mental image like are you all gonna watch or are you gonna dance with each other like what's going on gals] Jimmy: [gaaaaaaaay] Janis: [just bopping sadly alone with your hot chocolate, amusement] Jimmy: [we all know Jimothy just wants to pick her up again so] Janis: [please 'fall' down onto the bed like whoops what are we like] Jimmy: [100%] Janis: [Mia's eyes boutta pop out] Jimmy: [Also Asia should 100% get a call from her man rn] Jimmy: [Jimmy trying not to cackle] Janis: [just biting your tongue so hard] Janis: 🙈 Jimmy: we need to go Janis: you don't wanna witness the downfall of your nemesis? Janis: I can always tickle you again Jimmy: You can try 💪 Janis: [does 'cos being that annoying like soz you're on the phone we're just so 😍] Jimmy: [lets it happen because he needs to lol and NO other reason NOPE] Janis: [try not to cackle lads] Jimmy: [HAS TO kiss her so he doesn't again no other reason so] Janis: [definitely not actually enjoying that, definitely doesn't have to stop it kinda abruptly 'cos will get carried away, no] Jimmy: [when you're like ? but you can't say or do anything because that audience but then 💡 you quickly trace an o and a k on her with a question mark sneakily like because I love when he does that] Janis: [just squeezing his hand like a yeah but drawing a 😒 face] Jimmy: [a genuine smile even though he should also be 😒] Janis: [I think Asia should run out to talk with her mans then come in crying so they can leave lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [ended that relationship whoops, run and lol run and lol] Jimmy: [don't be too happy tho boy you don't want her to think you actually wanna get with Asia] Janis: [she's gonna be on you harder than ever boy, oh my, like new boy guess what, god bless] Jimmy: [oh lord imagine] Janis: [at least she's not 💀👑 levels of snek, just dumb and tragic] Jimmy: [lowkey reminds him of his ex not in a 😍 way lol] Janis: [oh dear, getting to where the stairs are like 'lounge or my room?'] Jimmy: [shrug because can't answer a question] Janis: [nudges him like make a decision, boy] Jimmy: [nudges her back like no you] Janis: [looks at her non-existent watch and then pulls him up the stairs to her room] Jimmy: [off you go lads] Janis: [like cali could be home at any moment but not really #shameless] Jimmy: [you two and your flimsy excuses, love it] Janis: [is this the first time in her room?] Jimmy: [yeah because the other first time we did is when they actually hook up if memory serves so way after this] Janis: [enjoy that, boy] Jimmy: [we know his is no better and he can't judge] Janis: [at least there's shit still there from when you cared, shrugs and gestures 'round just like put some music on, do what you want] Jimmy: [👀 around like he's a nosy bitch but actually just doesn't know what to do with himself] Janis: ['you found plenty to fake do down there' 😏 but masking that you are awks too] Jimmy: [gets a pen and paper and starts doodling giving her a look like you happy now? all 😏 cos so awks] Janis: [sticks her tongue out at him, laying down and scrolling her phone 'cos we know it's popping off from #bathgate] Jimmy: [throws a paper airplane at her] Janis: ['excuse me?' sitting up, resting on her elbows like so #shook 'I'm checking we're still relevant, can I help you?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos they both know there's no need to check and it's all happening rn like my boo said] Janis: [mimes his head blowing up bigger and bigger then exploding, we all know she was just looking at the pictures again shh] Jimmy: [mimes a gun to his head then a dramatic fake death] Janis: [crawls over to where he is like she's gonna lick up the blood] Jimmy: [does a 🕆 with his fingers cos she such a vampire] Janis: [mimes a hiss like how dare you] Jimmy: [sets up a game of hangman on the paper and pushes it over to her] Janis: [😏 and writes down 'I?'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -I-] Janis: ['E'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -IE] Janis: ['D' 'cos got your number boy] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I DIE] Janis: [lols 'L'] Jimmy: [what bit do you draw first when there isn't I've forgotten] Janis: [the pole that goes up] Janis: [pouts 'S'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - -ISS I DIE] Janis: ['K' 'cos also got your number and a LOOK] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - KISS I DIE and blowing her a kiss IRL like we gotta keep this sassy and light] Janis: [buzzing 'cos you gonna win lol 'A'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- A KISS I DIE] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [T--S -IT- A KISS I DIE] Janis: [fills in the rest because now obvious 'THUS WITH A KISS I DIE' 😏 and also hanging the stickman still and making him look like him with shades and floppy hair and a leather jacket] Jimmy: [draws a stick person her crying but also a vicar and they've both got rings on and there's confetti and she's wearing a wedding veil etc cos throwback to the easter rising when she married that dude] Janis: [draws a union jack flag in the vicar's hand, then a knife in his 💘 and then draws a vial under her tears with ☠ and 'POISON' on the label] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [adds vampire fangs to herself and two little holes on his hanged neck like excuse me thank you] Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [lays back down 'what else do you wanna play?'] Jimmy: [lies down too LOOKING at her 'What do you wanna play?'] Janis: [stops breathing for a sec, bye but turns it into serious thinking face] Jimmy: [just staring at her, waiting but like why you gotta be so hot doing that boy] Janis: ['don't have any new games' casting her eyes over to whatever the last console she got was before she stopped giving a shit about everything 'you can talk about girls for-' invisible watch again '-five minutes, if you wanna, northern boy'] Jimmy: [talks about how much he hates Mia for a 5 minute rant lol, lying down staring up at the ceiling] Janis: [when you're so 😍 unironically thank god he's not looking] Jimmy: [nudges her when he's done like it's your go] Janis: [quick snap into a 😏 'you stole my bitch' and nudging him back then turning her eyes to the ceiling and talking about Grace instead] Jimmy: [takes his turn to talk about 💀#2 because still fuming about bathgate not that he's gonna rant about that, be careful please] Janis: [just nodding like mhmm preach then takes her turn to talk about Asia but like, try not to mention you're potentially jealous of her 'cos he might like her] Jimmy: [throws something at her like he's so offended she's slagging off his bae] Janis: ['so chivalrous!' 'cos he hit her with whatever she's now gonna hit him back with, let us assume a pillow fight for the cliche] Jimmy: [yas we need that shameless flirty MOMENT] Janis: [doing it, pinning him and tickling him like 'admit you love Asia'] Jimmy: [when you just flip reverse it 💪 so you're doing the same to her 'admit you're jealous of our true love'] Janis: [getting out a 'never!' between your lols] Jimmy: [opening and closing his mouth cos was blatantly gonna say something but then aborted mission] Janis: [reaching up and opening and closing his mouth yourself a few times like a 🐟 'catching flies, Taylor?'] Jimmy: [just sniffing her dramatically like 🤔 and giving her a look like you're not that bad] Janis: [punches his arm but vaguely affectionately lol 'how could either of us stink after that bath full of shit'] Jimmy: ['answered your own question there'] Janis: ['We smell like unicorn farts and rainbow dreams, obviously, did you not read the labels?] Jimmy: ['Too Northern'] Janis: ['Too distracted' under your breath like who said that] Jimmy: ['What?' Even though he 100% heard] Janis: ['See' and poking him in the chest like, you just proved my point there, not paying attention] Jimmy: [moves her finger down to his stomach shaking his head like he's so hungry and deprived of promised snacks that he can't possibly survive nevermind concentrate] Janis: [🙄 and poking his stomach harder, bit rude, 'come on then fatty' and wriggling out from under him, where she still is btw, gesturing like come on] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna leave this room and risk seeing either flat whites or her parents so you've got such a lil pout on 'shit host, you'] Janis: [a look like really 'lazy and all, chat shit about my rich girl work ethic ever again...' 😏 and goes to forage] Jimmy: [throws the pillow at her as she goes cos so mature] Janis: I'm taking all the good snacks now Jimmy: I'll have 'em off your 💀💀💀 body when you get 🔪🔪 Jimmy: bit of blood ain't gonna hurt nowt Janis: I've turned you Janis: not gay Janis: just vampire Janis: should've had your ear off and ended you there and then Jimmy: brb gotta send that tweet Jimmy: #notgayjustvampire Jimmy: what a read Janis: you would wanna be that couple Janis: not rawring at people with you Jimmy: I've got the fucking 💅 for it Janis: deny that you love it Jimmy: You really want me to throw my 💕 about tonight, eh? Janis: Not calling you a slag Janis: or am I Jimmy: can do Jimmy: be a misread but what ain't with you Janis: Doesn't feel like a #kinkunlocked to me Janis: and you're the one who claims he can't Jimmy: Claim I can't do loads of things but here we are Janis: Total opposite, bighead Janis: so rare you aren't bigging yourself up like the complex is so real Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: I get that it would be easier to fake this if I was more your type but 💔 Janis: You can't say I haven't faked it perfectly Janis: everyone believes it Jimmy: That weren't what I were saying Janis: What were you saying then, elaborate Jimmy: for a start that the locked door ain't the only appeal of a bathroom for your boyfriend Jimmy: 🎻 that every surface weren't mirrored Janis: 🙄 Why do you keep bringing him up Jimmy: Why don't you want me to? Janis: because I don't like thinking about him, never mind talking about him Janis: he's at a lot of parties, I'm sure you'll get a chance to see him again, like calm down Jimmy: It weren't me who wanted to 👀 that dickhead Janis: Me either, obviously Janis: well busy looking at myself, does that suit you? Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: What? Jimmy: What? Janis: What would you like me to say? That I love him? Or even fancy him? 'Cos I don't so I'm not going to just 'cos you need me to, for some reason Jimmy: Why would I need that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: It's bollocks Janis: Then you can stop bringing him up Jimmy: I can do what I like, tah Janis: Alright, be obsessed with him Janis: I don't have to listen Jimmy: keep being a dickhead Jimmy: you obvs can't help it Janis: 🙄 Janis: good one Janis: I never said I weren't and I've done fuck all wrong Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: I'm just gonna go Jimmy: They don't need to know I have Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll get you a ride Jimmy: It's alright Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: I said it's alright Janis: I got you out here, I can get you back too Jimmy: I can get myself back, I'm in no rush Janis: The buses have stopped coming out this way and you are miles from yours Janis: take the ride Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: Why are you being a dickhead for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: Yeah, alright Janis: Yeah, you Janis: if you don't want the ride, then use my bed and wait 'til the AM Janis: you'll be left alone Jimmy: I don't want your bed either Janis: then take another one, this house is filled with fucking empty ones Jimmy: that's not creepy Janis: I have siblings that've fucked off Janis: that's all Janis: guest rooms are the reward for having lots of kids Jimmy: bit late for my dad to crack on there but I'll @ him any road Janis: never too late for blokes Jimmy: Northern 40s is rest of the world's 90s Janis: Still Jimmy: Still, he can't keep a bird for any length Jimmy: it's all stacking up Janis: you're gutted, clearly Janis: who doesn't want nine brothers and sisters Jimmy: Love raising his kids for him, me Jimmy: Why not do it a load more times? Got nowt else on Janis: After the 5th you can delegate Janis: your sister is definitely old enough Jimmy: Tah for the insider trading tips Janis: what are friends for Jimmy: Do you want a real or fake answer? Janis: why would you need to fake it Janis: not being wire-tapped here Jimmy: I might be wearing one 👮🚔 Janis: Her word is only law if you've not got the upper body strength or brain function to fight her off Janis: so go ahead Jimmy: You admitting I have? Janis: I'm admitting I'd know if you were working for or with Mia Janis: she's not as smart as she thinks and I'm not a fucking idiot Jimmy: And I ain't got enough upper body strength or brain function for that many jobs Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: You're exhausted just thinking about it Janis: relatable Jimmy: I'm sorry for bringing him up, alright? Janis: Alright Janis: I just don't get it Janis: like yeah it was a dick move but you don't reckon I was punished thoroughly enough or what? Jimmy: it's nowt like that Jimmy: I just Janis: Well it's alright, forget about it Jimmy: maybe I don't get it an' all Janis: Yeah Janis: I get that Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course Janis: much as it pains me to admit I don't know everything, like Jimmy: I won't send that tweet Janis: Cheers Jimmy: come back Janis: Okay Janis: [back with the snacks] Jimmy: [going through 'em so you don't have to look at her rn] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [raising his head like ?] Janis: ['I-' and stopping 'just-' and again, before settling on 'don't go and get lost, alright, I'd almost feel bad'] Jimmy: ['alright' and shoving her a controller for whatever console she has so they can play retro games and be competitive about it for a bit] Janis: [a mood] Jimmy: [as is throwing snacks into each other's mouths so simply must] Janis: [all the competitiveness] Jimmy: [speaking of I'm gonna do another hangman cos she guessed that one too fast for his liking, hold onto your hat bitch] Janis: [it was fun honey] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- - -------- --- -- ---] Janis: ['A'] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- a -------- -a- -- ---] Janis: ['Y'] Jimmy: [-- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay -- ---] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['S'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- s--- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['D'] Jimmy: [t- d-- -y y--- s-d- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- d--] Janis: ['IE' 'cos we can sense a theme lol] Jimmy: [pout like how you gonna guess two letters bitch but we doing it] Jimmy: [t- die -y y--- -ide is s--- a -ea-e--- -ay t- die] Jimmy: [*side I can't type bye] Janis: [sings it at him] Jimmy: [when we know she's a good singer but he don't cos karaoke ain't happened yet so control your 😍 by drawing the hanged person but as 💔 Asia this time dropping a phone with a speech bubble of whatever bollocks they heard her boyfriend say] Janis: [draws him as a tadpole having a party in a pond with lady frogs and fishes] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: ['do you reckon I should feel bad about breaking them up?' shoving more snacks in her face, like] Jimmy: [when you give her such a wtf no look 'do they feel bad about wishing we would?' doesn't give her chance to answer cos obvs a rhetorical question 'there's your answer, like'] Janis: [shrugs like yeah, true 'but their love is so real' but rolls her eyes 'cos I doubt they were ever #goals] Jimmy: [shrugs back does a 💔 with his hands 'nowt I can't fix' and winks] Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [goes to her window and opens it really wide to 🚬 leaning out dangerously far so he doesn't get any smoke in her room cos still doesn't wanna leave and see anyone] Janis: [comes to the window and looks out 'their car ain't back' like does that mean get out or] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh no cali are coming for their 👑 by being so goals] Janis: [makes a face like don't] Jimmy: [goes to pass her the 🚬 like a peace offering but then is like oh you obvs don't want it my bad kinda takeback gesture cos what she said before about only faking it] Janis: [walks away 'cos stubborn] Jimmy: [just 🚬 and watching the 🐈s outside casually] Janis: [just back playing a solo game, pretending you ain't pouting] Jimmy: [sending her highlights of bathgate even though she's already seen them all cos shamelessly like pay attention to me] Janis: good thing we ain't in school Janis: last time they got this excited over a #scandal they put Jesy Halls in isolation for weeks Jimmy: You don't wanna be in isolation? Jimmy: fakest bollocks you've ever chatted Janis: You know they'd put you in and leave me out to get torn apart Janis: ⭐ Jimmy: what you get for being such an athlete Jimmy: and hey, might learn your name while I'm in there so it ain't all bad Janis: What you get for being so soft Janis: think of my mystique, would ya Jimmy: keep that to yourself, tah, it'll make us both look properly un-goals Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Go on, might get to eat some snacks myself if you're struggling Janis: Fuck off Janis: I'm not encouraging you to talk about your dick so you can 🐽 Jimmy: you started it Janis: Nah Janis: why would I ever bring that up Jimmy: Why did you just? You tell me, girl Janis: 😒 Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: You're easy to annoy Janis: I think you'll find most sane people don't wanna discuss your genitals Janis: just them downstairs Jimmy: 💔 Janis: you're buzzing Janis: be sneaking down in a few Jimmy: busted me Janis: mhmm Janis: wouldn't be a good real cheat, you Jimmy: my dad's got that covered Jimmy: I don't want 🥈 Janis: fair enough Janis: Freud's all over that statement Jimmy: he can be next for a 👻🥊 Janis: this is what comes of violent games Janis: [throws a bag of snack at him] Jimmy: [catches it like 😏] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: ���🏆 Janis: are you nearly done Janis: freezing here Janis: [in your short shorts] Jimmy: [wasn't done but gets done immediately cos #whipped] Janis: [gets under the covers] Jimmy: [comes over and tucks her in like a nerd] Janis: [allows this to happen like you're gonna go sleep 😊] Jimmy: [just sitting on the edge of the bed like when you tell a kid a story] Janis: ['you do this a lot, like'] Jimmy: [looks at her like what?] Janis: [looks down like tucking in] Jimmy: [shrugs like it's so casual cos she knows he's got a little brother from the pool awks] Janis: ['never stop, eh'] Jimmy: [looks at his phone cos still blowing up and back at her like so many jobs so little time] Janis: [tugs on his sleeve gently like lay down 'they'll be consoling her for hours still yet'] Jimmy: [does of course] Janis: ['you want me to go?' quiet and soft like he's asleep already 'I do have 2 cigarettes to smoke now so'] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' because can't answer a q but also obvs does not want that but thinks she does] Janis: [shrugs 'cos like no but do you want me to lol, so helpful] Jimmy: ['it's your bed' and what boy you're not helpful either] Janis: ['you want a tour of all the free ones?'] Jimmy: ['Which one's most worth haunting?'] Janis: [a look like that's easy but then a 🤔 face 'but you're pretty chicken so' and rolling over like night then] Jimmy: [shoves her like oi] Janis: [loling 'don't push me out of bed, how ungoals, you twat'] Jimmy: [literally rolls her back over to face him #excuse you 'answer me, dickhead'] Janis: [when that was hot so you're like literally give me a moment here so you wriggle down under the covers so he can't see you 'alright, I'll show you but I can't promise the ghost will come out' muffled by the duvet like hello] Jimmy: [lifts the covers up and peeping at her like ? and has cupped his ear like what? because one ear jokes 5ever] Janis: [coming out the bottom of the bed like can't catch me 'come on scaredy cat' and we all know what room we going to] Jimmy: [can't catch her ever but can chuck a hoodie at her because she's so cold and it might slow her down a bit] Janis: [puts it on and pretend swoons 'trying to cash in some hero points now, I see'] Jimmy: ['just don't want you to freeze to death before we get there, Jennifer, can't be arsed with throwing myself down the stairs right this second'] Janis: [pouts and grabs his face like n'awh 'but we could frame them, where's your sense of fun, honestly'] Jimmy: [pushes her off but then is like 😏 looking at her like good idea and picks her up as if he's gonna chuck her down the stairs] Janis: [playfighting like get off me boy 'as if I'd let you go 2nd'] Jimmy: [we love a playfight moment 'as if you reckon you call the shots'] Janis: [the most dramatic 'pfft!' and just rolling further towards the stairs like actually be careful please 'but you love coming first usually'] Jimmy: [does a mime locking his lips like don't tell anyone that, very ungoals, boy stop making it sexual again thank you 'depends, time and a place, you know, Jules'] Janis: [rolls her eyes but is 😳 'How can I trust you'll go through with it, besides, Romeo dies first, I fake it, you do it for real, then I do, stick to the script'] Jimmy: ['fake something for me that convincingly and I might do'] Janis: [just looking at him 'rude'] Jimmy: [a LOOK back at her] Janis: ['you can't tell me those pictures weren't convincing' 'cos we know it's still popping off] Jimmy: ['I sorted them' okay boy we gonna act like just cos you did all the camera shit she didn't do anything? Really now] Janis: ['it was my idea, and you wouldn't have any pictures on your own so'] Jimmy: [a shrug but we all know he's still looking at her, like oh jimothy what kind of challenge do you think you can lay down right here right now that'll top bathgate you simply can't] Janis: ['so, it's your turn to think of something, actually' but getting up and going to Edie's room, which is thankfully not a creepy shrine moment] Jimmy: [Follows her obvs] Janis: [it's probably less of a guest room more of a quiet chill room for if they wanted to go think about her, that seems like some hippie shit, so obviously no one goes in here though 'cos no thanks lol, gestures like 'this is the ghost room, can you feel it?' so sarky] Jimmy: [just making himself comfy in there because he don't know] Janis: [when this was a bad idea but you have to front it out and sit down like] Jimmy: [when you're so busy trying to think of something to top bathgate that you're oblivious] Janis: [at least you can lean in to pressuring him just making tick tock noises with your tongue like] Jimmy: [he'd do such a fake OMG STOP like when she was being tickled in front of the fans] Janis: [just gets closer to the ear she didn't bite so it's louder] Jimmy: [when you wanna lol but you don't wanna give her the satisfaction so you gotta bite your lip like it's okay I'm just thinking here, total accident that he looks really hot doing it soz Janis] Janis: [just shamelessly looking 'not meant to eat yourself, such a rookie' 😏] Jimmy: ['if anyone can recognise owt like that, it'd be you'] Janis: ['duh, I turned you, I'm like your mistress' raises brows 'or daddy, if you prefer'] Jimmy: ['Don't be telling my missus I've got one of them, tah, right rookie mistake that'd be, she already reckons me and her are well fake' does a what can you do, women eh, kinda gesture]] Janis: ['I don't reckon she knows you've got a name' shakes head like imagine that 'enjoy being on the other side of that one, babe'] Jimmy: [😏 'Sounds alright to me, that'] Janis: [🙄 but not that mad ever] Jimmy: [zips up the hoodie for her like how you possibly be annoyed at such a 😇] Janis: [pulls is back down justto be that bitch but then you look like you wanna be undressed in front of him so you pull it up and down a few times like a bit] Jimmy: ['you break it, you've bought it, rich girl' but clearly amused] Janis: [shrugs 'meant to let me keep it anyway'] Jimmy: ['You want me to freeze to death, that's the big plan, eh?' cos she'd have the school trip one already] Janis: [nods but is lol 'how else will everyone know you love me?'] Jimmy: [100% has to give her a new lovebite because I can't not if you're gonna say stuff like that Janis] Janis: [just like 'of course' but with feeling 'cos always covered low-key and we know it 'what about you, what do you want?'] Jimmy: [when you give her another one because that's what you want and we all know it but then you have to look at her like ? as if you weren't listening] Janis: [just gripping the sofa you're on so tightly so you can otherwise pretend this is so casual, tracing your finger 'round and 'round his ear lobe like 'yours healed ages ago...'] Jimmy: ['Have another go then' yeah this is so casual bye] Janis: [does, with vigour lol] Jimmy: [his turn to abuse the sofa] Janis: [admiring your handiwork 'bruises don't lie' and giving him back the hoodie like there you go] Jimmy: ['No need for you to lie either' cos she was cold and putting it back on her because I love a hair lift moment especially because he won't jump back 6 ft like when he did that exact thing on school trip #progress] Janis: [the state of the hair after all this we can only assume, going to put it up or something like ugh 'I don't lie, ever' fully aware of the irony ;cos of their fake dating deal like 😇] Jimmy: [irl 👌 so sarky] Janis: [lols] Jimmy: [when she's so cute and you can see so much of her neck now she's moved her hair and you're just like don't 😳] Janis: [motioning for him to pass her a cigarette and getting up 'ghost ain't coming, soz mate' 'cos definitely needs it now] Jimmy: [puts one behind her ear cos can't be tamed about touching her needlessly ever] Janis: ['you want my second one? as I don't smoke' as she's going to go downstairs] Jimmy: [takes one for himself as an unspoken yes] Janis: [kinda wanna make cali come back to be evil[ Jimmy: [do it gal] Janis: [they'll just say hi but she'll be fuming lol] Jimmy: [and he'll be wanting to run away] Janis: [at least its dark so you can sit here bright red, angrily smoking in silence] Jimmy: I'll fuck off home, say the word Janis: You can Janis: they won't wake you up for breakfast and awkward small talk though Jimmy: That where you get being a shit host from? Janis: Funny Jimmy: Could at least fake 😂 for me then, babe Janis: [😑 at him] Janis: convincing, yeah? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: don't give me pity medals Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have another go Janis: [a look that's half a LOOK and half don't] Janis: lost track of time, didn't reckon they'd be back 🤷 Janis: they couldn't see you so it don't count as meeting, right Jimmy: no 👻 about tonight Janis: yeah Janis: go if you have to Jimmy: I'll go if you want me to Janis: [say Cali's room also faces the front, nodding to the windows] Janis: go in once their light is on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hope one of 'em has been sick or something Janis: doubt it'll be as pretty and pink coming back up Jimmy: [when we know that'll make him feel sick but not gonna see the greenish tint in the dark so stay 💪 boy and throw a stone at Grace's window to see if there's any life in there] Janis: 🙄 oh great Janis: give 'em ideas, lover boy Jimmy: I can't help missing her, alright? Jimmy: [dramatically fake pining] Janis: Disgusting Janis: [but a small half-smile Jimmy: [nudges her gently like hey that's at least a small 🏆] Janis: [nudes him like piss off but it's as gently] Jimmy: [just staying leaned into her a lil bit like be comforted] Janis: Proper soft, you Janis: could make yourself useful and find some fuel so I can set the place on fire whilst all my worst enemies are inside Jimmy: can't stop lying, you Jimmy: I'm well hard, me Jimmy: [plucks at the hoodie she's wearing like this is so cheap it'll burn right up] Janis: [looks down like hmm 🤔] Janis: you give to take away, only just got this hoodie back Jimmy: [nods at a passing cat like there you go instead then] Janis: [snorts] Jimmy: I were thinking Jimmy: it's not about arson but Janis: disappointing Janis: but go on Jimmy: could've waited til you'd heard it to 💔 me Janis: tell me Jimmy: I dunno, just Jimmy: might not be the massive-stly shit idea to try and be mates Jimmy: for as long as I'm here and this Janis: Wait, are you friendzoning me, Taylor? 😂 Janis: [actually 😂] Jimmy: [is pouting actually] Janis: [pats his shoulder like my bad] Janis: Sorry, that's just not what I expected you to say Jimmy: I've changed my mind now, dickhead Janis: Probably for the best Janis: if you can't handle that, like Janis: insert that quote here Jimmy: weren't likely to handle nowt for long but you're alright Janis: I don't need mates and you don't want me as one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Let's go in then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [stops off in the kitchen to get more drink first] Jimmy: [does not follow her for the first time ever] Janis: don't you want a nightcap? Jimmy: Is it a) pretty or b) pink? Janis: That's long gone, boy Jimmy: So what's the point, like? Janis: You know I've seen you drink drinks that aren't flat white approved before, yeah? Jimmy: Don't sound like me or very #goals to me Janis: I'll leave the bottle here then 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Don't be in a mood Jimmy: Or what? You'll be in a bigger one? Janis: I'm not in a mood Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: Why are you in one? Jimmy: What are you on about? Jimmy: Stick to the script, Jodie, we've got no rules but that Janis: Suit yourself Jimmy: tah for stating the obvious Jimmy: it were like Asia was here for a bit Janis: How lovely for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Fuck sake Janis: you can't give me any time to react, no Jimmy: you can have loads, we're off the clock Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: nah Janis: Yeah Janis: I said I didn't know you were gonna say that Jimmy: like you said an' all, bad idea Jimmy: we can leave it out Janis: right, cheers Jimmy: you're right, take the 🏆 Janis: Leave it out, like you said Jimmy: lasses first Janis: Whatever Janis: this is ridiculous Jimmy: nowt about any of this has ever been owt else Janis: No need to tell me Jimmy: you're trying to tell me Janis: I'm trying to tell you fuck all Janis: what's the point Jimmy: 🙀 Janis: I'm not the one that's scared Janis: or taking back what I said Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm taking it back 'cause you're a knobhead Janis: You knew that before you said it Jimmy: you weren't for a second so I said it Janis: What second? Jimmy: What does that matter? Janis: Maybe I would like to try again, or maybe I wanna know what to avoid Janis: take your pick Jimmy: Maybe you're right again and I'm soft Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: Bollocks, that's giving yourself one for nothing Janis: like you've been so nice to me even though I don't deserve it, fuck off Jimmy: you fuck off Jimmy: I'm tired Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: Alright Janis: Night Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just downstairs, getting drunk] Jimmy: [I'm so evil because I'm like ooh the potential for her to come up here when she is] Janis: ['forget' he's in your room like bonjour] Jimmy: [exactly though] Janis: [why not baby] Jimmy: [him just half asleep like mother is that you returning from the great unknown, oh no wait I'm not at home remotely] Janis: [ah the confusion, poor boy] Jimmy: [when you're relieved that it's her for the hottest of secs because where you been girl but also not because awkward] Janis: [when he's on the side of the bed you sleep on so you're trying to get in like 'budge up'] Jimmy: [so offended before he realises how drunk she is but then also like shhh when he does realise as if anyone's gonna hear this jimothy calm down] Janis: [just pushing him but much less efficiently than normal 'least you've warmed it for me'] Jimmy: [just so 😒 like stop pushing me but not saying anything] Janis: ['are you still cross?'] Jimmy: ['I've got nowt to be mardy about' sighing at himself like ffs boy as he's scooting over #foreverwhipped] Janis: [chuckling to herself, quietly, thank god, as she settles in 'well I'm not happy with you'] Jimmy: ['And I've done nowt for you to be mardy at me about' okay Jimothy if you say so] Janis: ['Neither of those is true, you know' fluffing up the pillow] Jimmy: ['start a # if you feel so strongly' cos v mature] Janis: ['you're stupid, stupid as I am' poking him] Jimmy: [gives her a look like don't, which he means on many levels rn] Janis: [pulls a face 'cos so mature too right now 'we could be friends, I'm just saying'] Jimmy: ['You reckon?' because clearly they can't] Janis: ['duh'] Jimmy: [shakes his head] Janis: [nods, way too hard, 'now you made me dizzy as well'] Jimmy: [goes to sarcastically pat her on the head like there there but strokes her hair instead because so soft always] Janis: [pouts but genuinely] Jimmy: ['what?' but in the softest way] Janis: ['I want you to be my friend but I weren't lying when I said you wouldn't want me to be your friend but I still wish you would'] Jimmy: [needlessly moves her hair out of her face like look at me 'it ain't up to you what I want, I said I wanted to try 'cause I did- I do'] Janis: [Hides under the covers again like sorry can't look at you 'okay' really quietly] Jimmy: [reaches under the covers so he can trace a o and k with his fingertip on her hand/arm whichever is reachable] Janis: [comes back up 'go sleep now' and closes his eyes with her fingers] Jimmy: [such an amused little noise because he was asleep before she came in, excuse you] Janis: ['shh shh'] Jimmy: [puts a finger on her lips like you shh] Janis: [frowny face 'stop it'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up dramatically like alright, calm down and gets comfy like look I'mma sleep] Janis: [smug face like that's right and does the same 'least it's not a single this time'] Jimmy: ['gutted, me' said really sarcastically but we know you are boy] Janis: [gets all up in his grill like there you go then] Jimmy: ['funny'] Janis: ['that's what you get for being rude'] Jimmy: ['you woke me, pisshead' but affectionately not actually annoyed at all] Janis: [waves hand like psh 'you were rude before then'] Jimmy: ['Alright, shut up' like you really care about going back to sleep rn okay Jimothy] Janis: [gestures like see 'gotta be nice to me' but rolling over like okay, you can sleep] Jimmy: [OTT dramatic sigh so she's knows it's fake] Janis: ['bet you can't say one nice thing about me'] Jimmy: ['you're not as shit at kissing as you were on the trip' because I re-read that and he kept acting like she was so bad like OKAY liar] Janis: [pushes him 'what kind of compliment is that?!'] Jimmy: [shrugs like you don't know exactly what you're doing boy] Janis: ['alright then the only thing I have to say about you is you're slightly less shit at being nice but potentially worse at lying so' blows raspberry] Jimmy: ['bollocks, you've got loads to say tonight, lightweight' but he's loling] Janis: ['yes well I've been very bored'] Jimmy: [does like the awh cheek squish she does to him always 'poor baby'] Janis: ['you know I'll bite you' squirming out of reach 'why didn't you come down?'] Jimmy: [does the thing where you check an animals teeth like he wants to see her vampire fangs, stop touching her mouth please! 'Why didn't you come up?'] Janis: [wipes her mouth like a child like gross 'I was getting drunk' shrugs like hello] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'I were sleeping' but like not for ages boy we know it] Janis: ['marding' in a him impersonation Jimmy: [pushes her cos oi what a read] Janis: [mhmm noise 'me too, but I had company'] Jimmy: ['like I said, shit host'] Janis: ['what do you mean?' resting on her elbow 'you keep saying that'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like pretty self explanatory] Janis: [a look like obvs not? 'I've fed you, entertained you, what more do you want, fanfare?'] Jimmy: ['that lot did the did the bulk of the entertaining, girl, weren't you' more lies and more slander] Janis: ['not my fault you've got shit taste then' is pouting] Jimmy: ['@whateverAsia'ssocials are, might start her off bawling again, what could be more goals?'] Jimmy: [but obvs he's said them I just cba to think of one lol] Janis: ['kink unlocked you horrible boy' but lols] Jimmy: [I've known for ages that were one of yours'] Janis: ['making girls cry?' fake ponders 'hmm, don't tell anyone'] Jimmy: ['not just lasses' does the broken heart hand thing again] Janis: ['you aren't that soft' nudges him 'unfortunately'] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'bit of editing and you can tweet that'] Janis: [passes her phone 'you'll have to do it for me, I'm not that drunk and sad'] Jimmy: [tweets something hilarious instead cos that bitch and makes a big show of not giving her the phone back cos drunk] Janis: ['what did you do, tweet my nudes?' tryna grab her phone like 'scuse me] Jimmy: ['Mr Lucas wishes' having a playfight over this phone so casually] Janis: ['who do you think I'm taking them for' then an ew face 'cos truly] Jimmy: ['Save something for the wedding night' cos in the school trip convo that was also a running theme of her marrying him lol] Janis: ['tweet that and we lose all credibility'] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'I could make owt sound goals, even that bollocks'] Janis: ['yeah but bit off message' gestures at the lovebites 'stick to the script, no improv'] Jimmy: [touches the newest ones he gave her, boy stop 'Alright'] Janis: [shakes her head 'don't' and pulls up the covers between them] Jimmy: [when you're actually 💔 now, so just getting back in a sleeping position] Janis: ['it's just 'cos I wanna and it's not fair and' let this be vaguely incoherent so you don't fully out yourself immediately] Jimmy: [just pretending he's actually gone deaf like we don't need to do this] Janis: [sad sound but turning over like you actually believe he's asleep] Jimmy: [just moving about like you're trying to get more comfy but getting closer to her so it's like the in bed version of when he was leaning on her earlier] Janis: [just really quiet and still for a long time, sighs 'night, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [we know he ain't gonna answer even though he all also know you aren't asleep sir] Janis: [AM skip or?] Jimmy: [I think we should say he leaves like super early cos got so real there] Janis: [okay gurl]

[murumokirby360]

GTA IV - Weazel TV: Split Sides w/ Katt Williams

Announcer: Recorded live from the capital of the world, Liberty City. The famous Split Sides comedy club invites you to line up and bring the love to the comedy club where the drinks ain't cheap. Welcome to the stage, Mr. Katt Williams!

Katt: Thank you, thank you so much, thank you. Appreciate it, Liberty City...whooh! This is great, this is great, never been here before, it's my first time. As a visitor to Liberty city, this is amazing, the speed and the pace at which this city works. Went on a mini adventure today, I got up, got dressed, got my swagger right had my bravado and I decided I'm going to cross a Liberty City street slowly - not gonna happen. Everything moves so fast here why are people moving so... I don't... a homeless man ran past me where could he possibly be fucking going? He could lay down and be home immediately, just lay down and be home, but he was speeding past me at a furious pace. Everything is just so fast here in Liberty City. Its crazy. Its crazy your gas prices are too high, sixty-nine dollars a gallon, bit ridiculous. My car costs about seventy-two dollars lets try and get it back in focus. People don't speak here in Liberty City, I don't know its like they're scarred to be shot or something. It's just...I spoke all day "Hey how are ya?" nothing, "Good looking at yam m'am" nothing, "Hello Officer" nothing, it's a crazy city; I'm enjoying it though it's very exciting. A lot of options here, a lot of options in Liberty City. You can get whatever you want. You like pussy? Of course you do! It's here! Liberty City some of the best I've ever had. I'll tell ya that. You know pussy's good when youre inside of it and your thinking about other things other than sex. Like things like "Whow, whow I love gingerbread cookies", when your thinking that in the pussy, that's when you know its good shit. The best weed in the world may be right here in Liberty City. I was so high earlier today I had a complete discussion with myself, in the mirror. Threatening, threatening, I couldn't believe I snuck up on me like that and I was furious about it. You ever had weed so good that you get stuck? You know stuck, stuck like you need to leave you want to leave you got to leave but you cant fucking go. Stuck, that's what you find here in Liberty City. You've got everything. The greatest basketball team, who's fucking with the Liberty City Warriors? It's crazy. I remember, there used to be this guy played as good as the guy you guys got, but he didn't want to pass the ball, he'd never pass the ball. And so the rest of the team was just up and down, just, they were physically fit but never scored any points. This selfish bastard, there just chasing him down the court, just... I'm open, nothing, nothing. Liberty City's got the team made out of Warriors, you need that you need a strong, strong team. You gotta be strong anyway, it's a weak world. You come to Liberty City and you get strong in this weak world. I know its weak I started out weak, I wasn't always tall like this folks. Used to be short, a lot going on when your short. People lie to you, my parents looked me directly in the eyes and told me without a shadow of doubt, eat all your vegetables, drink your milk, you'll grow up big and tall. Lying sons of bitches! You know how many vegetables I ate? Hmm, any idea? You how much milk I consumed? I should be the size of a cow! Why am I not the same size of a cow? I drank the same thing the fucking cow drank. Still short. Knew I was short because I, I wore one pair of jeans five years through school, five. You could tell how old I was because I grew a quarter of an inch and I let it out and there'd be that other line, yeah I'm not depressed I'm just saying. If you got short kids at home go home and kiss 'em cause its terrible. Thank you, goodnight.

[end-of-violence]

2022ラップ①

Babyface Ray x Wb Nutty / Who Else

Babyface Ray / Sincerely Face

G.T. / Fuckin With Yall

Icewear Vezzo / Richer Than My Opps

Icewear Vezzo / The First 48

Icewear Vezzo / The 6

Sada Baby / Barry Lil Kuzin

Skilla Baby feat. Sada Baby / Tim Dunkin

GhettoBaby Boom / GhettoMode

BandGang Lonnie Bands & ShredGang Mone / Unk Baby

BandGang Lonnie Bands / Dark Cloud

BandGang Lonnie Bands / No Pillow Talkin

BandGang Lonnie Bands / Creature Thoughts

BandGang Lonnie Bands / Scorpion Eyes

BandGang Masoe / Top Of The Key

ShredGang Mone / 187

Payroll Giovanni / Real Work

How DBlack Do Dat, Peezy ft. Hotboy Wes, Bankroll Freddie / Ain't Cheap

Los feat. Veeze & WB Nutty / RIP Blade

Los & Nutty / Invested

WB Nutty / Deal With It

GRINDHARD E / DRANK TALK

24Lik & 392 Lil Head / Allat Playing

YN Jay / Fantastic Day

YN Jay feat. Babyface Ray / Coochie Island

YN Jay / Shake That A$$ Baby

Kasher Quon & Swiftyy / Spice Talk

Why Cue & Kasher Quon / Backends

Doe Boy & Babyface Ray / Onna Hood

Skylar Blatt x Icewear Vezzo / God Forbid

Big Haulin / Outside

Trapbaby / Off White Crack Shoes

Earl Sweatshirt / Titanic

K8do ft Spotemgottem / Go off Remix

Yung Princey & Nef The Pharaoh / Not Your Boyfriend (The Mafia) [Remix]

DaBoii / KickDoe

DaBoii ft. Drakeo the Ruler / The Deal

Ralfy The Plug / Slime Me Up

Compton Av, Yhung T.O. & Steelz / FAST

Mozzy ft. Shordie Shordie / Tell The Truth

Young Slo-Be ft. DaBoii / Ouweee

Kodak Black / I Wish

Hitkidd & Glorilla / FNF (Let's Go)

Duke Deuce Ft. Glorilla / JUST SAY THAT

Snupe Bandz / Barnacle Boy

Jay Fizzle / Paper Route Bidness

BlocBoy JB ft. EST Gee / Smoke

Lil Durk / AHHH HA

SSG Splurge / Tuff Love

chief keef / overhead

sevensevenseven / make me mad (with Chief Keef)

Ballout / Drillanoise / Somebody

Young Chop / How You Coming Chop

BANDMANRILL / FLOYD

アルバム

Teejayx6 / Still Scamming

24Lik & 392 Lil Head / Evil Twinz

Whitehouse Studio / Da House Vol 3.5

Los / Kareem From New Orleans, Vol. 2

Top$ide & Rx Papi / Dope Deals and Record Sales, Vol. 2

How DBlack Do Dat & Peezy / Kut The Kap

Babyface Ray / FACE

Icewear Vezzo / Rich Off Pints 3

Fmb Dz / Back On Track

BandGang Lonnie Bands / Hard 2 Kill Reloaded

Bandgang Lonnie Bands & Shredgang Mone / Shottas

Bandgang Masoe / 886

Damjonboi / 500 Nights

Baby Money / Easy Money

Skilla Baby / Detroit Raised Me

Sada Baby / Skuba Sada 2.5

Glockboyz Teejaee / Wack Summer

Roadrunner Glockboyz Tez / Billy Goat

AK Bandamont / Soul Controller Deluxe

AK Bandamont / ATM Withdrawals

Gudda Tezz & AK Bandamont / Valuable

LA Skyywalker & Louie Ray / High Stakes

Ysr Gramz & Louie Ray / Lougramz

Wayne616 / Grease Files

YN Jay / Young, Wild & Free

Lil B / The Frozen Tape

Lil B / Frozen

Earl Sweatshirt / Sick!

Fly Anakin / Frank

Yung Yosh & Shawn Ferrari / TRUNKZ IN the FRONT (tha tape)

Shawn Ferrari / The Highway Ep

PGF Nuk / Switch Music

BlockBoy JB / Bacc 2 Da Bloc

Duke Deuce / CRUNKSTAR

Big Moochie Grape / East Haiti Baby

Jelly & Pi'erre Bourne / Wolf of Peachtree 2

Flo Milli / You Still Here, Ho?

Asian Doll / Let's Do a Drill

iayze / Virtuous

DaBoii / Can't Tame Us

Yhung T.O. & Edi Mean / Souljahz 2 Generalz

Lil Bean / forever grateful

Ralfy the Plug / Most Consistent

Young Slo-Be / Southeast

EBK Young Joc / City of God

Kodak Black / Back For Everything

Detroit G 2022

[praphit]

Slender Man: They hate him cuz they ain't him

It was a big weekend in movies! We were torn between two films. There was of course "BlackkKlansman" - this movie has strong acting, the amazing and quite possibly the angriest director out there Spike Lee, and even that Adam Driver guy I feel has been on the come up. Tons of social commentary: important thangs to talk about concerning race, this nations history with slavery, and the current state of our government... good stuff! Hittin all of the issues! -  BUT, that's not the movie we chose to see.

We naturally went with "Slender Man" instead.

You might say "But, John Praphit, BlackkKlansman has Denzel Washington's son, important issues, and powerful directing... what were you thinking?"

Hey, don't sell The Slender Man short - he has with him... um... Joey King! And... Julia Goldani Telles.

You say "Who the hell are they?"

Yeah, idk. I've also never heard of the production companies or the director, BUT that might only mean they haven't had their fair shot; this could be it! And maybe Slender Man is also filled with the social issues of the day; you don't know! - but I'm here to tell you:)

Let's take a look at SM here -

He's really rockin that no face thing isn't he?? See, many might try hair with the lack of a face. I think no hair is a good call. Imagine Slender Man with an afro;

he'd look ridiculous. And that suit - are you kiddin me??! YES! I mean, idk why he needs a nice suit when he only hangs out in the woods, but... he's prepared. We all have that friend who's always overdressed; though we may make fun of them, part of us kinda wants to be them. Idk what's going on with those tentacles/ tree limbs growing out from behind him... he must be self-sonscious of them though, because whenever they start to show in this film, they cut away. He's got too much style to be a horror movie monster. Perhaps this well dressed creature is simply misunderstood.

Despite his dreaminess, this movie stars more than SM, but these fine what's-their-name actresses. The movie starts off with four girls, who have been close friends for a while, who have a hangout featuring vodka, porn, and occult stuff. One thing I appreciate about this movie is that they get into the horror quickly. There's a lil build up to show how close they all are, and some family atmosphere, but then we're right into the scary.

I have to mention the family dinner :) It must be an art form to capture genuine dinner scenes, cuz this one didn't have it. One of the daughters in the dinner scene only drank water... I mean no eating of anything... she had food, why just the drinking of water... curious. And there's a dad in the beginning dinner scene who's buttering his bread for like 5 mins. I was thinking at the moment "Is anyone going to bring up daddy's butter problem?" He was just buttering and buttering and asking the kids about their days, and right back to buttering.

(the war ain't over for this family)

Sooooo, back to the vodka, porn, and occult.

THAT, my friends is a hell of a weekday (school night) hangout. The gathering around the Tv for pornography and summoning of demonic beings are to be expected - their kids, let them have fun! BUT, the drinking! - Parents, be better! Their ruined teenage livers are on you.

It's straight forward. They watch some weird vid (kinda like "The Ring") and the craziness begins. Apparently, after watching this vid, you may start to see The Slender Man; if you do he's got you. You will either end up missing or go crazy... or both, I guess. One of their friends goes missing, and they begin their search for answers. They end up asking some stranger that they met on the internet for advice, and this stranger tells them to offer Slender Man something of value to them in exchange for their friend.

Ok, so let's rewind. They follow a STRANGER'S advice to go into the woods and sacrifice things of value to some supernatural being. They do this dumb thing, but they kinda half-ass it. Their "things of value" end up being a photograph, something one of them made in arts & crafts... and like a lucky T-shirt or something. Your friend has just been kidnapped! You may want to dig a lil deeper. "Here Slender Man, let me offer you my last chicken nugget. I'm full anyway. Can I have my friend back?" 

The Slender Man must have thought to himself "Arts & Crafts? Really? These girls must be trying to punk me." He then spends the rest of the movie making them regret their poor sacrificial decisions.

When the cool and creepy gets going, it doesn't stop, and it's very effective. I love how they mess with the audiences heads with the imagery. You'll start seeing Slender Man everywhere. They don't rely on cheap gore scenes and jump scares, which I also appreciated about this movie. They even use scenes that lead you to believe something horrific is about to happen, but then it won't... not in a disappointing way, but it's intense. Well done!

The two actresses that I mentioned earlier are also good in this movie.

One of them has that glassy-I-could-cry-at-any-moment-eyes. She'll make you feel her pain.

There's another actress in here who does a good job at making us believe she's scared. It's like they gave her hallucinogens and filmed her having a bad reaction.

This is another one of those supernatural monster movies when everyone just kinda has to guess what to do. Sometimes, in these types of movies there's an expert of sorts, but the only "experts" here are strangers online.

I enjoyed this movie:)

Though, when I say they had to figure things out (and I understand that), there are things they should have known to do and to not do. There are plenty of things that the writers either didn't think about or didn't care about.

The kids for example, run out into the middle of the woods AT NIGHT to sacrifice their items, which no one told them to do. Literally, the middle of the woods! Forget Slender Man, there are all kinds of things that could happen out there. Which again, parents, you're bleeping up!

And about these parents, where the hell were they?! Some of these parents are barely around (buttering bread), while others are never around. One of your kids was just abducted! More of them are losing their minds! WHERE ARE YOU?!

There is one slight spoiler I'll throw in - one of their friends (who happens to be black)... something happens to her, and when her friends find out the state that she's in, they simply say "I knew something was up with her", and keep going! They could have helped her, but NOPE.

What about the teachers? These kids are in highschool. One of the kids actually gets lost on a school trip. No help from the school. No accountability, apparently and no concern. Some of these kids are losing their minds on school property. Those teachers just kept on with the lessons. Not even the other students help out these main girls or are even concerned. We're all just going to pretend like students are going crazy and missing?

Lastly, the police! Almost no police in this movie. No one questioned, no protection, no investigation. It's kinda like kids get screwed over so much in this town that the police have given up.

This all sounds like a lot bad writing ( and it is), but it also kinda adds to the fun. There will be those who will heavily downgrade this movie, because they are Slender Man lore purists, and apparently on that level this movie doesn't begin to measure up. Idk nothing about that, soooo I went in fresh, and enjoyed my new friend Slender Man. That's right, he's my buddy. I still say he's misunderstood. I mean, he IS out in the woods, and we DO see him coming after the kids, but what does that prove?. Maybe SM is a nicely dressed homeless man just trying to get by in the woods. Maybe these kids are just out in the woods doing shrooms (way to go, parents) and falling into holes never to be seen again. Live the Slender Man alone! The man doesn't have a face! - I'm sure his life is hard enough as it is.

Or maybe he's murdering kids out there, idk. You be the judge. Though I admit that certain pics you'll find on the internet aren't helping me prove his case.

Grade: B

Everyone who factored into this movie's 15% rating on RT are just haters. They're just jealous of my main man SM and his fly suits. They hatem cuz they ain't him.

Some of you might be saying, "But, Praphit, I'm sure this movie is aiight, but BlackkKlansman had those important social topics!"

I could argue that "Slender Man" does as well.

#1 - The black girl that her friends just kinda leave behind. I mean, seriously, what the hell? #blacklivesmatter

#2 - Lesbians - two of the friends in the group sure were close... like real close. Some may think I'm reading into things that aren't there, but I say these characters were forced to remain in the closet. But, maybe their parents found out... maybe that's why none of them are ever around. They couldn't bear that forbidden love. Apparently, The Slender Man does his thing around the bible belt.

#3 - Missing Kids! Not something I used to think about, but now whenever I go into a new town, I check to see how many kids go missing there and how often. If it's an alarming rate, I'm out! When SM is done with the kids he might start on the adults. Besides, if the cops are letting this many lost kids slide without an investigation, what else would they turn a blind eye to?

#4 Mental Illness - perhaps people we label as mentally ill are the ones in the know. Maybe we should all start listening a little more.

Y'all can come to me. I'm here for you. I'll listen. The next time you're out in the middle of the woods (because a stranger online told you to) and you notice a man with no face, wearing awesome suits, with trees growing out of his ass you can tell me. I'll listen and get you the help you need:)