#these complications with your body become all the more concerning because the only way to fix it is to force beneath the mouth

[outlying-hyppocrate]

i am not used to novelty, and i don't think i ever will be; i am used to cold limbs, white eyes, sharp teeth, soft brown sepia, liquid in the taste, the taint is what now fills my blurry eyes, everyone is sclera when the pupils cry (everything is merciful and everything is soft and we are all marshmallow candy on the 31st of the new month expiry is an option not an option but the sell-by-date corroborates strange things whenever we can come across)

[bubblegumgothglados]

This is my RACK focused judgment free primer for heavy impact play. It covers every part of the body from head to toe and at no point does it say you can’t do something just the risks of doing so. I don't normally put warnings on my posts but most of my writing is fantasy, this isn't. I'm going to talk about any number of painful deaths and heaps more ways of becoming disabled.

In this primer "you" means the one doing the hitting, "victim" is the one being hit, and "tool" is the thing you're hitting with which could be a fist, foot, hammer, bat, anything. I'm writing it this way because its fun for me.

This primer also assumes you know the different types of impacts and how they affect the body, if you don't go look at my other writings.

Finally i take no responsibility for anything you do. All this information is what i could put together from medical journals and car crash reports if I've got anything wrong (and you can prove it) please let me know.

Enjoy

Head. With hits to the head, the two major concerns are concussions and neck injuries. A concussion occurs when a person’s brain impacts with the inside of their skull, this happens because the brain is suspended in fluid so if the skull stops or starts moving suddenly the brain will move out of sync with the skull. Symptoms of concussions can include headaches, confusion, lack of coordination, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in the ears, sleepiness, and excessive fatigue. If your victim lost consciousness for any length of time and is having trouble speaking or understanding your words, you need to get them to the ER. There is no cure for a concussion but the best treatment is pain medication and activities that won’t tax the brain to give it time to recover. There are any number of ways to damage a neck, but generally it happens when a person’s neck is moved suddenly and violently or pushed past its limit. Minor injuries should heal by themselves within a few weeks but if unlucky pain and stiffness can last months or even years. For more major injuries, physical therapy or a neck brace might be necessary but only if the pain lasts longer than a few weeks. It’s also possible to hit someone hard enough to break their neck or fracture their skull but that takes a lot of force. All of these injuries can be avoided by supporting your victim’s head and neck by bracing their head against a surface or holding their head with your hand.

Jaw. It takes surprisingly little force to dislocate a jaw, you can do so with a good slap Dislocations are talked about in Note 3 at the bottom of this primer. Heavy bleeding from gums or a tooth that feels loose could indicate a fractured root. This is a fairly minor issue and if you see a dentist quickly they should be able to fix it back in place with no lasting damage. A tooth that has been knocked out completely should survive; get your victim to rinse their mouth out and rinse the tooth off and shove it back into the gap, and then have them see a dentist to make sure it’s properly seated and avoid chewing with it for a while.

Eyes. A fun combination of fragile and complicated. There's no first aid tips I can give you and it'll be real obvious if something is wrong. I will say you don't have to hit someones eye to give them a black eye, it’s bruising around the eye socket that matters. Also check Note 1 about the use of ice when treating injuries.

Nose. It’s more difficult than you think to break a nose. You definitely can with a good punch but you'll have to really commit. A broken nose isn't that serious (I've broken mine twice now) and isn't even ER worthy. If your victim is leaning backwards after breaking their nose the blood will run down the back of their throat potentially making them vomit or very sick. There is a chance a broken nose will heal in a way that restricts breathing in which case your victim may need surgery.

Cheek bone. Below the temple but above the gum line, running from just bellow their ear to their nose. Special mention to this spot because it’s the best place to hit your victim in the head (in my opinion). This piece of bone is very sturdy and not that risky to fracture. Plus, when you hit them here they have to watch it coming.

Neck. The windpipe, jugular, cranial nerves, vagus nerve, carotid arteries, and spine all live here and damage to any of these can cause permanent disability or death. Seek medical attention if your victim has trouble breathing or swallowing, or a lot of pain or swelling. Stingy tools are far less risky here than thuddy tools.

Shoulders. Note 2 on joints. The shoulder blades can either be an ideal impact location or one of the most risky depending on how it’s sitting. If the shoulder blade is jutting out away from the rest of the back, it’s very easy to damage If it’s laying flat against the back, it’s protected by a thick layer of fat and muscle.

Biceps. Top 4 impact location. The main concern is damaging the elbow and shoulder joints, if hitting in a way that will pull on those joints. Much like with the head, bracing the impact area against a surface will minimize the risk. Repeated hits to this area can temporarily disable the arm, which is fun.

Forearm. As above, the main risk is damaging the adjoining joints. There are also several important blood vessels and nerves running through this area and not a lot of fat an muscle to protect them.

Hands. Very little fat or muscle, mostly tendons, nerves, and cartilage. See Note 2 on joints. Special note to the palm, which hurts like hell but is relatively safe because of the extra muscle and fat in that area, great for punishment. Once again, stingy tools are much less risky than thuddy tools.

Breasts/ biceps. Top 4 impact locations. Thick layers of fat, muscle, and bone protect anything vital.

Sternum. That is the bone running down the center of a person’s chest that connects to their ribs. Not in itself very fragile but the cartilage that connects it to the ribs is easily damaged and will take a long time to heal. A fractured sternum will likely cause shortness of breath and pain when taking deep breaths. There's not much to be done about these injuries just rest and avoiding strenuous activity.

Spine. The single most risky impact location. Any damage to the spine risks permanent paralysis of everything below that point. As ever, stingy tools present less risk than thuddy tools.

Rib cage. Designed to protect a person’s most vital organs, the rib cage is very strong. Fractured ribs will cause pain breathing but aren't particularly serious. Snapped ribs can pierce organs If this happens, it'll be immediately obvious and medical intervention is required to prevent painful death. Special note to the 'floating' ribs at the bottom of a persons rib cage which don't connect to the sternum and are therefore much less resilient. Second special note to the spot right above a persons heart. A significantly hard impact at exactly the wrong moment in their cardiac cycle can stop their heart. They will loose consciousness and you will need to give them CPR until they can be defibrillated. This is ridiculously unlikely but better to mention just in case.

Abdomen. If you feel around your victim’s belly, you can figure out the line where their abdominal muscles sit. If you have them tense these muscles, you can hit them fairly hard with relatively little risk because the muscles plus the fat in that area create a thick layer of protection. (Pro tip: "Stay tense or this will might kill you" is not only true but hot and terrifying). Outside of that area or if they don't tense, there's real risk of bruising or even rupturing their intestines, which carries a 50-70% survival rate depending on how quickly you can get them to the ER. Symptoms to look out for are bloating, diarrhea, loss of appetite, and fatigue. Special note to the kidneys, which sit next to the backbone just below the rib cage and are very easily bruised. The primary symptom to look for is blood when peeing. As always, stingy tools carry less risk than thuddy tools.

Gluteus maximus. That's their butt. Hit it as hard as your victim will let you. Enough has been said about this region; I don't feel the need to recover that ground. Note 4 on bruises.

Genitals. I'm not going to get into CBT, that's a separate kink. But the vagina is very durable as it’s pretty much just flesh and fat on the outside Minimal risk, go to town.

Thigh. Top 4 impact location. Outer thigh will hurt more and bruise more. As with the head and arms, the primary risk is damaging the adjoining joints. Note 4 on bruises because this is the primary place for DVT.

Calf. As above. Shins are also a great location for punishment because they hurt like hell.

Feet. Very similar to hands. The soles of a person’s foot are intended to impact with the ground frequently and with some force, so they can take a fair bit of punishment.

Note 1. Ice. It is no longer suggested injury procedure to use ice to reduce swelling. Yes, it is effective at reducing swelling but we now understand swelling is an important part of the healing process and although ice might make it feel and look better in the short term, it actually increases the amount of time the injury will take to heal. You want the blood to be able to flow to the injury to take away dead cells and bring nutrients and energy.

Note 2. Joints. Neck, spine, shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, hips, knees, ankles, and toes. The reason these are almost always labeled "red" or "no go" on impact play body maps is because these are choke points for blood vessels and nerves; they are made of fragile tendons and cartilage, and they have very little padding for protection. They're also important for movement day to day and very difficult to heal properly. If a joint is damaged, you can buy braces for every joint from most pharmacies.

Note 3. Dislocations. If you're lucky, a partial dislocation will relocate by itself if you move the joint around as you normally would, not forcing it or trying to manipulate it with your hand, just moving it with its own muscles. If it does naturally relocate but you still have pain a few weeks later seek a medical professional. If you're unlucky or if it’s a total dislocation, you will have to see a medical professional. DO NOT TRY TO FORCE IT BACK INTO PLACE!

Note 4. Bruises. Normally, bruises are nothing to worry about but there are situations where a deep bruise can be a health concern. If the bruise continues to get worse after a week, there could be a hematoma under the skin, which is like a blood clot, and might need to be removed. The other possible complication is Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is a blood clot and can be lethal, if not treated quickly. With DVT, the symptoms are tenderness, warmth, and a "pulling sensation" which are pretty normal impact play symptoms. But if you're doing impact play at the level that could cause DVT, then you and your victim should know their healing process intimately, so if something feels off or isn't healing right, get them to a medical professional; better safe than dead.

[yan-randomfandom]

Yandere!Stanford Pines & Borrower!GN!Reader

[PLATONIC] Borrowers are really tiny humans who "borrow" items and food! requested,,, am so sorry if this isn't what u expected 😔

Ford's toothbrush is missing.

In fact, many of his things have gone missing for the past few days. Did Bill possess his body again and decide to prank him?

His eyes catch color behind the toilet. Ah, there's his toothbrush. It must have fallen off.

When he picked it up, it was much heavier than usual. Of course, anything else could've been a reasonable explanation and not some tiny human holding onto the toothbrush for their dear life.

Ford doesn't let you escape, immediately bringing you to his office. You spit out profanities on the way, banging your fists on his fingers.

"Fascinating," he mutters, moving your limbs around. "You're just a tiny human."

"They call us borrowers," you say as you keep avoiding his hands. You notice something. "You have six fingers. Did giants always have that? Never noticed."

He suddenly feels smaller than you. "Not usually."

Ford learned that you actually lived under his floorboards. He had to compromise with you so that you would stop stealing his stuff.

"Roommates?" you tilt your head. "As long as you don't kill me, I guess. And I said I was going to return it!"

He doesn't believe you. He hums, scratching his chin. "Your species must have been hit by the light of height-altering crystals. I'm guessing the way your people survive is by stealing from others."

"Borrowing."

He gave you all sorts of delicious food. Well, they're mostly store-bought, but it's better than anything you've gotten before.

Not to mention his stuff. He had way more than what you were expecting. All the more to decorate your house and expand your collections! He's generous; you'll give him that...

There's something you can't shake off though. Ford's a weirdo if anything.

Bill Cipher knows about you. But he doesn't really care because you're just like any other creature that Ford has gotten. He'll only intervene if you manage to distract Ford from the portal.

So it's a good thing you're doing the opposite. You're actually helping in your own little ways, such as bringing him pen and paper.

Sitting on Ford's shoulder, you keep yapping about rats eating your house. He doesn't mind the noise, albeit he's not really listening, but it's so much better than silence.

He has fallen asleep. You grab the blanket from a nearby table and drape it over his body the best you can. This man does more work than your entire lifespan; it's so concerning.

"You don't want to try becoming a full-sized human? Why not?" Ford asks sincerely, almost concerned. You becoming not tiny is what you were supposed to be.

"Me? Turning into your size?" you make a disturbed face, "no thanks. I feel like my life would be more complicated. You're taking care of me, and that's enough."

He smiles. "Interesting."

Once again, you find him asleep on the desk. You search for a good spot next to his arm and curl up to his warmth, closing your eyes and drifting to sleep.

...You wake up to relentless movement. Looking up, you meet Ford's crazed, hectic eyes.

"You," he exhales, his voice sounding different. "Not here to steal my eyes, are you?"

Without warning, he grabs your body. You tremble. "Bill didn't tell you to, right? You're the perfect size to scoop out someone's eye..."

"Ford—" A bright flashlight shines on your eyes.

He forces one eye open. A few seconds pass. "You're, ah, clear. I'm so sorry."

The human finally lets you go. "What the hell was that?! Are you okay??"

"There's something dangerous here," he winces as he goes around the room, locking all possible entrances. "We have to stop everything we've ever worked for! What I worked for!"

He walks over to you, a smile curling on his lips. "Don't worry. I'll protect you, little borrower. Won't let him lay a single finger on you."

Before you could even blink, you're pushed inside something. You quickly run to the front, holding the bars that kept you away from escaping. "Wait, let me go! You're being crazy!"

"I know this seems bad, but it's only temporary," he replies, locking your cage. "Not until I finish the protection around the house. I'll have to call Stan..."

yes he has cages.... he caged shmebulock 😭

gotta thank @shabbyshoebox for this treasure (tell me if u wanna be untagged!)

[sttoru]

♯ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

love: |luv| - n. 1. an intense affection for another person based on familial or personal ties; 2. a deep tenderness, affection and concern felt for a person with whom one has a relationship with. featuring . . . toji fushiguro x fem!reader.

02.34AM. . . toji grumbles some profanity under his breath as he walks into your bedroom, only to find you already asleep, hugging your plushies — one between your knees, the other held tightly to your chest.

“hah. ain’t ya the one that said you’d stay up f’me?” the assassin whispers towards no one in particular. he removes his black shirt and disregards it on the floor with a low grunt — letting his sweaty skin breathe after the job he completed.

toji walks towards your side of the bed and hovers over your body that was curled up on the covers. you seemed to have fallen asleep without it being your intention, he guesses by the fact that you weren’t under the covers despite it being chilly.

and by the sight of your phone on the carpet beneath you. probably slipped from your hand.

“. . . y’re weird.”

the words spill from his lips in a quiet whisper. toji just cannot fathom it; why would you go through such lengths to stay up and await his return? you were clearly tired and yet still tried your best to keep awake to greet him — only for your exhaustion to catch up on you.

it’s the intention that counts, of course, but why?

toji crouches down next to the bed, now at eye level with you. his callused thumb brushes against your cheekbone, though his soft touch fades as fast as it could be felt.

‘why?’ the question echoes through his head again. toji sighs in frustration. he couldn’t come up with an answer to the many questions forming in his head.

he never had someone do this for him willingly. hell, the man never had someone love him so unconditionally. he still doesn’t know why you do.

he’s always considered himself a horrible person — one that didn’t deserve an ounce of love. nor one that could ever be pictured in a romantic relationship.

and yet there you were. accepting toji as he was, not caring about his occupation nor his distant personality and the fact that he didn’t know how to love properly.

toji wishes he could understand his feelings better. he knows he has an undeniable attraction to you — the way you laugh, the way you carry yourself, the way you seem so. . . confident in showing your affection to him and the others around you — it was intriguing. it’s like you have it all figured out; even though he was the older one in your relationship and he hasn’t

“tch, this shit ‘s too complicated — it’s makin’ my head burst.” toji, once again, complains out loud to no one in particular. his finger flicks against your forehead ever so gently in response to his internal frustrations. his piercing eyes take in the sight of you — the sight of you being so vulnerable.

that’s one more thing toji didn’t understand; why you were so trusting of him when you knew of his job. weren’t you scared of him? weren’t you scared of the possibility of him harming you in your sleep?

maybe he was projecting. toji is a light sleeper. always has been. he doesn’t like being asleep, because it meant he was an easy target for any who intended to harm him.

it took him a few months into your relationship to be able to trust you fully — to take a nap whenever you’re around. he was slowly yet surely healing and you were becoming his safe space. which he didn’t actually think he’d ever have in his harsh life.

toji eventually finds himself sitting down on the floor, wanting to live this moment a bit longer. his rough hand finds yours and he gently grazes your skin with his. his head lands on the mattress, his eyes closing as his brain decides that it was probably okay when you were the only one around;

that it was okay to rest. that it was okay to be vulnerable. that it was okay to be himself. that it was okay to receive affection. that it was okay to be weak. that it was okay to heal.

that it was okay. . . to love.

[scribe-of-hael]

The complicated life of Starscream

Tw: mentioned of Abuse/abusive Realtionships

I think whats interesting is the dynamic that Starscream has with Megatron in some ways. Because seems like no matter WHAT Starscream does. Being helpful ,loyal, or being backstabbing and sneaky.

Megatron finds a way to abuse him. That comes back around to the idea of , "No matter what you do, your abuser will never be happy and find new ways to be upset at you."

This is shown pretty well in TFP. Where Starscream trys to break free, be on his own. He struggles, even looses his Tcog in the process but he is a problem to everyone. The switch between his loyalty form s2 to s3 is a bit drastic. He is, very clearly, trying to do what Megatron asks of him and never once trys to go behind his back again.

Yet, even for a simple mistake, he is beaten. Megatron is completely incapable of trusting Starscream fully (reasonable) but Starscream is never going to be able to please Megatron fully either. Megatron doesn't know how eles to communicate with Starscream that isn't violent because that's how he responses, to violence and fear.

Starscream isn't perfect in TFP, he's killed Bots (as he told us repeatedly about Cliff jumper) , but everyone was someone before the war. I always wondered what he was like?

That and the fact Starscream mimics Megatron's abusive behavior in order to try and get respect. He HITS people , somtimes with little reason. He shoves and even belittled those who have actively tried to help him and show him concern (Knockout). Somtimes it works, most times it doesn't. He knows fear and violence works on him, why wouldn't it work in others ?

It's kinda a real thing, a friend who has these problems , basically puffing out their chest and bullying people close to them in order to get a sense of power and control that they normally don't have.

It comes down to Control and Safety.

Alot of times, in IDW Starscream does become a leader of Cybertron but almost always finds a way to sabotage himself. Why? He's traumatized. Conditioned to think he can not be anymore than what he was, what Megatron thought he was and what ppl think he is.

Bumblebee even calls this out, and in a fit of emotion, Starscream says its because he is Alone. No one is there to protect or vouche for him. (Which isn't fully true but that's his reality, how he sees it)

In order to keep himself safe, Starscream has defense mechanisms and coping strategies that are built to protect himself. He lies, he backstabs, he starts shit, he is combative even verbally when he doesn't even need to be. These strategies that were once used to help him, now make life difficult when ppl are trying to be there for him. Pushing people away, trying to give the illusion of control and dominance.

Rounding back to TFP, there was a theory i saw, (I think so, but in pretty sure I'm not the only one who thought of this anyway) that in RID, Starscream puts back in his old armor or parts of his frame from before.

My theory was that Starscream in TFP looks alot like Megatron in terms of color. Why go from a blue, white and red color to grey ? And was the armor even off him in the first place ?

My theory is Megatron purposely stripped him of parts of his own body, to make him both smaller and physically more vulnerable. Being a good representation of an Abuser stripping away who a person is, will all is left is the then vulnerable and under their control.

To add intop of it, in s3, its clear Starscream is loyal. The bot trys to go get Megatron or attack the autobots for killing him. Shockwave has to DRAG him away. In the movie, he STILL flinches at Megatron's movement towards him depsite him saying he "now knows what oppression is". FLYS AWAY & LEAVES HIM BEHIND.

This Starscream still has Decpeticon values, has only ever served Megatron for Millions of years, is still clearly afraid of his abuser and atm purpose to keep going. And he just LEAVES. Leaving Starscream to pick himself of being confused, scared and no idea what to do i'm sure.

Not to mention Megatron never once got anything done to him for all the pain and suffering he ever cause ld. He basically got off scotch free. Which to me, reflects the injustice some ppl feel and get when an abuser just leaves you in the mess THEY made and you get NOTHING from it. No justice, no recompense, no apology. You have to figure out how to BE without them.

Point is that Starscream is a complicated character in media. Different versions to show case this behavior. What i hope to see in the future, what I pray for, is seeing Starscream not only be able to break free of this cycle. But become more than what he thinks he is, what anyone thinks he is.

[hyunjinsjeans]

Baby Brain (Seungmin x Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Seungmin has to suffer with his pabo members… and now also his pabo wife.

Type: Fluff 🧸, SFW 

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, proofreading to a minimum (it’s my thing, I’m sorry)

Word count: 2569

AN: This fic is a part 2 to Seungmin’s version of the He Knows Series. It can also be read as a stand alone. I took my precious time with this one because I guess my period played games with me and the first versions were angsty af… And that was not the vibe I wanted for my man Kim Seungmin. I think I finally got it, and also huge spoiler for Hyunjin’s part 2 (which is posted too!)

Seungmin sighed as he let Choon-Hee paint his toenails pink and yellow. 

He was really working on his patience lately. You sat across from him on the carpet in the living room while Nari “did” your hair. 

The Hwang twins, or “dumpling girls” (as the boys called them), were happy to spend the afternoon with you and your husband. A little break for their parents to be able to go on a date alone, and a good practice for what was about to come for you.

“Ready!” 

Nari walked around you with a bright smile on her face as she saw the long braid she managed to make with your silky hair. 

“Already? Wow!” You smiled and reached for the hand mirror to see her work. “You did so good, Nari! Look, Minnie!”

He looked up at you, for a second his sight leaving Choon-Hee to find you. Initially, he did not like the idea of babysitting a set of three year old twins, but these two girls were pretty easy to manage and to please. 

“Woah!” He pretended to be stunned. 

In a way he was… Your hair, although maintaining its pregnancy glow and thickness, looked a lot like a bird’s nest. A true 3-year-old masterpiece. 

You giggled, you knew it was a horrible mess with tangles and odd twists… but you enjoyed indulging the little ones. 

Seungmin was able to see it; your motherly instincts were beginning to take over slowly. As the months began passing and your pregnancy became more evident, so did the signs of your body and mind getting ready become more evident as well. 

From the baby bump that grew in a slow but steady manner, to the way you began fixing and arranging things at home, making sure the nursery was ready, preparing spaces for the baby and worrying more and more about Seungmin too. 

Your husband only agreed to babysit for Hyunjin because you had already agreed to babysit for Hyunjin!Reader.

The afternoon went by in a blur as you sat with the girls to play and watch cartoons, Seungmin had to be the most responsible adult at home, seeing as your baby bump had begun to keep you from being too active. 

He prepared snacks and handed each of the girls (you included) a small bowl with crackers and baby carrots. 

“Thank you!” You and the twins said in unison, much to Seungmin’s amusement. 

At that point your husband realized he was now watching three girls. Poor Seungmin spent the rest of the afternoon watching you too. Keeping you safe while you decide to do little little somersaults with the girls on the living room carpet. 

The truth was that you had a lot of time on your hands lately. Since you found out for sure that you were pregnant thanks to the lab test, you have been a cause of concern for your husband… With all the pregnancy symptoms and the planning for the nursery, you decided to give in to Seungmin’s request of taking things slow. You reduced your hours at the hospital; working only part time. It was supposed to be like that until you went on leave but as things rarely ever go as planned you ended up developing some complications during the second trimester. Doctor’s best advice? Rest. And so you rested; you talked to your boss and you took time off from work. Now you are at home full time, spending most of your time reading medical journals or parenting books. Shopping online for what might be necessary for your little boy once he was born. 

Most of all, what you did during your free time was visit Seungmin and the boys during their dance practice and rehearsals. They would be dancing and you would sit with Han!Reader and both would marvel at everything and anything her small Haerin would do. Sometimes Hyunjin!Reader would be there too, her girls already went to kindergarten so she would have the morning’s to herself either to work or run errands. 

For your husband’s delight, anytime you and Hyunjin!Reader got together, it meant he would have to keep an eye on you. Even without her, the second you began joking with Lee Know and Hyunjin it was bad news for him.

You did not know it, or maybe you had heard it at some point… but you were considered by the boys as an honorary member of paboracha. You would dance with the boys, attempting to follow their dance moves but most of the time you would get tangled up and trip. Now you were pregnant and almost at the end of your second trimester, your brain was just not in it with you. 

Seungmin found you looking for your glasses while you were already wearing them, or looking for your phone while you were on a phonecall. He would see you trying so hard to understand the instructions on a youtube video while trying to knit something for your baby… and he would find a tangle of yarn on the sofa most nights, a clear sign that you gave up that day. He loved to see you cook, but nowadays it is also a struggle that gives him a heart attack every time. You do not seem to think much about what you are doing lately, and it shows in how you burned the toaster when you wanted to turn it on one day, for some reason you put it on the stove and turned on the stove instead… So for the last few weeks the stove and the dangerous appliances are off limits for you. 

Seungmin enjoys the quiet tranquility that putting the girls to sleep brings to your home. Finally, after several hours of chasing the toddlers around and keeping his eye on you, the girls got tired and accepted a glass of warm chocolate milk. You held Choon-Hee and he held Nari, each one held onto their favorite blanket and finished the milk from their sippy cups before falling asleep. 

“It’s like they’re drunk on milk,” Seungmin whispered, not wanting to disturb the sensitive girls. 

“Mhm…” You smiled, holding Choon-Hee close to your chest, effectively creating a perfect warmth cocoon for the little girl. 

If there was any difference Seungmin could notice from you in the last few months, besides the obvious physical changes that came with the whole “creating new life” aspect of things; it was that you were more tender. You kissed him goodnight and you touched his cheek in such a way that he could not help but feel his heart swell up with tenderness. You were also more drawn to children in a way you were not before. To Seungmin you were a sweet person, someone kind with no fear of showing their emotions. Now it seemed you were ten times that sensitive, he had to be more careful about his choice of words and the way he behaved - a single eye roll from him during your second trimester brought you to tears one afternoon and if he had to be honest, he was deeply ashamed of it.

He watched you holding Choon-Hee and he fixed his hold on Nari. He was guilty of not having the same change as you, he could not yet feel that tenderness for a little human made of half you and half himself. He was unable to wrap his head around the concept of loving the growing human in your womb. He was assured by his older members that what he saw you already feeling for your baby would come to him naturally as well. That it would happen when the time was right.

“Let me get these two to sleep…” 

He got up from the couch and fixed Nari in his arms, the girl already used to Uncle Seeungmin’s firm grasp, turned and held onto his neck while resting her cheek on his shoulder. Nari was the sweetest of the two, the quiet one. She enjoyed attention a lot less than her sister, but she was also the one who needed the most assurance. Seungmin brought her to their room, placing her on their bed with a blanket turned into a roll at the edge of it, helping her stay safely on the mattress without rolling off of it. 

When he came back to get Choon-Hee, he found you also sleeping. Your hold on the girl was weak and gentle- The youngest of the twins was the most trouble maker; but sleepy as she was, Seungmin managed to pull her from your arms and take her to sleep next to her sister. 

You felt Seungmin pull your legs up as he helped you find a comfortable position on the couch, getting you to rest with a soft blanket over your. He got to read for a little bit while you slept and the night set in. Hyunjin and his wife showed up almost thirty minutes later to get their twins. They looked happy and disheveled, but neither you nor Seungmin commented on it. You barely noticed, and Seungmin was making a mental note to tease his group member during rehearsals the following week… 

“They must have tired themselves out…” You told Hyunjin!Reader while Hyunjin and Seungmin carefully put the twins in their double stroller. 

“Oh, they didn’t give you trouble, did they?” Hyunjin!Reader offered you an apologetic smile, “We just needed some time for ourselves… and when you offered… I didn’t even think of warning you!” 

You laughed softly, aware that you needed to keep your voice down. 

“Don’t worry!” You squeezed your friend’s arm, “they were perfect… they’re such good girls! Right, Minnie? We had so much fun!”

Seungmin looked up at Hyunjin as he helped him cover the stroller with a blanket, Hyunjin looked amused as he saw the look on his friend’s face. 

“Did you?” Hyunjin asked him quietly, his doubt evident.

While Seungmin was not bad with children at all, he rarely ever offered to babysit for his friends. Most of the time it was you who offered. 

“As the only responsible adult in the house? Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that bad…” Seungmin sighed.

Hyunjin smiled up at you, assuming you had not heard him. “Did you really have fun?”

You nodded, smiling widely. “Yes! And it was great practice for us, Seungmin just needs to brush up on his playtime, but I would say he is ready!” You winked at your husband, obviously trying to tease him.

Seungmin grinned, mentally forcing himself to not roll his eyes, “yeah, maybe…but I’ve got nap time down!”

You blushed and looked back at Hyunjin!Reader, “I fell asleep too… I think I got carried away playing with them earlier” 

“Please come visit and get carried away playing anytime…” Hyunjin commented, “they don’t ever seem to run out of energy at home, even if one does, there is still the other…” 

Hyunjin!Reader nodded. “We’re signing up for dance lessons, they need to get that energy out somehow…”

You smiled “Oh, they’re gonna be so cute! What are you thinking, baby ballet?” 

Both parents nodded, “it’s that or taekwondo… but I don’t want them fighting so they’ll get tutus.” 

Seungmin chuckled, “yeah… that’s gonna keep them from fighting…” 

Hyunjin gave him a look before speaking: “Anyway, thanks for babysitting, we really needed the time off.” 

You nodded too and smiled at your friend, “oh, don’t mention it! We are happy to help, you’re basically family…” 

Seungmin agreed with that and said goodbye to Hyunjin before going to the door with them. 

You were alone at last, after spending most of the day running around preparing for the twins and then watching them and keeping them entertained the only thing you wanted to do was to get changed and go to bed. 

“Minnie, did you really not have fun?” You asked him as you grabbed his arm and leaned onto his side.

He sighed, “I did… it’s just… you’re so hard to keep up with. You need to take care of yourself, you know? I can’t be the only one taking care of you and the baby…”

“Oh…” You pursed your lips, letting out a small laugh, “I just… feel so restless, you know?” 

Seungmin nodded as you walked through the house and into your bedroom. 

“What do you mean?”

You sighed and explained, “well, I… I think I have a baaad case of this thing… uhm ‘baby brain’.” 

Seungmin looked a little defeated. You always managed to be the last person to get the memo it seemed. He felt somewhat amused and incredulous but he allowed you to elaborate. 

“I feel like I forget things and I do things that don’t really make sense, Minnie…” You frowned, “And I just can’t figure out how to make a stupid blanket!” 

He chuckled at your comment about the knitting project, he was already aware you were struggling with that but he knew better than to say anything, not wanting to hurt your extra-sensitive feelings. 

“It’s okay, Y/N…” He reassured you, rubbing small circles on your back. “Your body is working really hard to make a baby. I guess it’s normal that your mind is busy…”

You looked up at him and smiled, “you’re so good to me…” You wrapped your arms around his waist and he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face. “I know you must be so frustrated with me… and you still cope so well.” 

Your husband kissed the top of your head, “I wouldn’t do it for anyone else, Y/N. Only my wife gets my patience.”

“Only me? How about Eun-Jae?” You looked up at him, testing out the name you picked for your baby a few days ago. 

Seungmin smiled and looked down at you nodding. Watching the way you stare at him so lovingly he could not help but feel like there is a weight to the name you chose. He put his hand on your belly, rubbing it slowly. He felt some movement under his hand and his eyes widened in surprise, turning to you quickly. 

“Hm, he’s moving a lot today. Did you feel that?” 

You stared at him with curiosity, Seungmin had yet to experience the feeling of your baby moving in your belly. 

He nodded, dumbfounded. “He… moved?” 

With a gleeful smile you nodded and pulled his hand over your stomach so he could feel it again, where your baby seemed to be kicking. 

“I like to think he’s happy when he kicks like this, he is so strong already…” 

“Eun-Jae?” Seungmin asked quietly. 

It was true what his members said. That love for his son would come one day and hit him suddenly. And it happened right then, after a busy day while preparing to go to sleep. He watched your stomach with renewed wonder and love, and you touched his cheek softly before kissing it. 

“Oh, our baby boy is so lucky to have such a loving, patient dad…” 

You went to push your glasses up on the bridge of your nose and almost stuck a finger into your eye. Seungmin sighed and chuckled as he turned his attention back to your face, he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Pabo, you’re not wearing your glasses today… you put on your contacts this morning…” 

“Right…” 

--------

Likes, Reblogs and Comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

a little self-indulgent, but may I request Full headcanons of M6 reacting (and accommodating?) to MC who's easily jealous and possessive due to their trauma? (for example, MC got cheated on before and now they can't bear the thought of M6 doing the same to them, if it makes sense.)

thanks!

The Arcana HCs: When MC struggles with jealousy

Julian

Cheating simply Does Not Occur to him. It doesn't enter his mind

Seriously. He doesn't doubt his capacity to be attractive, but for such a complicated person, experiencing love is a straightforward matter for him. He loves you. Why bother with anything else?

Of course, if it's a source of pain for you, then it's a concern for him too. He's had his fair share of unhealthy relationships and isn't in the dark about just how badly cheating will mess someone up

He's also the type to overthink things, so once you bring it up as your own issue, he's naturally taking it on as his issue too

He wouldn't! ... but now he's going to go out of his way to prove to himself that he's not the kind of person who would

It also drives the point home to him just how precious it is to have your trust (and why he really should have never tried to briefly dump you on the docks). That did need some discussing

In general, he's so transparent and talkative with you that there's nobody in his life you don't know about. If he has a high opinion of them, he's already trying to get you two to be friends as well

And if you ever worry that someone else is better for him, he will take that as a challenge to outdo your sense of unworthiness /j

Asra

They would never. You know this. They know this. Every citizen in Vesuvia knows this. The major Arcana know this

But the horrible thing about traumas and fears is that they don't have to be rational to hurt you, and Asra knows that too

Your relationship actually went through quite the rough patch with this at first. Asra's plenty familiar with heartbreak, but he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body and struggles to understand it

What's more, their own traumas make them practically allergic to feeling controlled or trapped in any way, which doesn't help their love of being mysterious and unpredictable

Which, of course, only fed your anxieties, and in turn left him easily triggered if you tried to get a solid answer out of him about what he'd been up to all day on his spontaneous solo side quests

What's most important, though, is that they love you with everything they are, and they're dedicated to helping you heal and being the best partner they can as they build a happy life with you

It's a catalyst for both of you to confront and work through your traumas together - your jealousy, and his fear of constancy

They do find telling you all about their day is actually lots of fun

Nadia

She is so glad you're bringing this up

Would she ever cheat? Absolutely not. She takes relational boundaries very seriously and what she has with you is a kind of love and safety and closeness she's waited for her whole life

However, while she and Lucio never cheated on each other, they did have an open marriage which meant other lovers were in the picture, and knowing you're not comfortable with that is important

She will happily get into the nitty gritty of past grievances and unsatisfying relationships and the details of every boundary

She also strongly values your sense of safety and security with her, and if there's any little things she can do to equip you to battle your demons, she will happily do them. Just tell her what helps

However, it is also very important to her to clarify that your jealousy is your situation talking and not a slight on her character

Because if it helps you heal to see her be transparent with you, she'll practically become glass, but if you start questioning her own intentions and moral code, you're not giving her space to do right

Can and will set things up so you can watch her beat down anybody flirting with her in real time (and kiss you afterwards)

Muriel

Cheating is an entirely foreign concept to him and the fact that someone would actually do that is completely horrifying to him

He is so, so sorry you had to find out what that was like

He's also baffled about how that could even happen. In his case, you're the first person he's even considered having a relationship like this with. Who else would he even want to be with?

The first time you express any insecurity or jealousy about him specifically, he's a little thrown. Just the thought of betraying you like that disgusts him, do you really distrust him that much?

Of course, that's his own traumas and insecurities affecting him, and he knows better than anyone how poor past experiences make him fear hurt from his loved ones which he knows they'd never do

If you have the patience to soothe him when he flinches from your sudden movements or unexpected happy shouts, he easily has the patience to reassure you of your importance and safety with him

He'll also hold a grudge even bigger than yours against whoever gave you that relational trauma. In his mind, they have a reserved spot right next to Lucio in the not-fun part of the afterlife

Still doesn't know who else would find him desirable anyways

Portia

Oh, she gets it. She doesn't necessarily experience this to the level that you do, but she certainly relates on multiple counts

Feeling left behind by a loved one and struggling not to be insecure about it? Check. It's why she's so free to steal Julian's kneecaps

Feeling like she's just the good option people pick until they find their ideal option? Feeling like it's just a matter of time until she gets dropped again, no matter how well-meaning that person is?

Yeah, she gets you. Not to mention that it's a little hard not to compare herself to the incredible people you're friends with who would all clearly love to be the focus of your affections

The fact that you feel this too is such a relief. You two are about to spend so many hours on her couch with tea and baked treats while you talk about your similar experiences and unpack those feelings

And honestly, hearing you voice your doubts gives her space to voice hers. You can be open about how she's clearly the Countess's favorite and she can be open about your past roommate setup

If either of you finds it just a little bit attractive when you get to flaunt your relationship at ambassador events when another partygoer gets a bit too friendly - well - it's a guilty pleasure

Lucio

Look, he knows he's not a shining example of a model citizen, but he wouldn't disrespect the boundaries of someone he loves

At the same time, his assumptions about what those boundaries are aren't exactly monogamous. Will he be in a closed, exclusive relationship with you if those are your boundaries? Absolutely!

Will he need you to explicitly tell him that those are your boundaries? Also yes. Otherwise he might randomly ask how you feel about inviting a new friend to go on a date with you two

He's still working on his emotional intelligence, too, so the chances of him understanding the relational trauma aspect of that are slim

However, he understands the insecurity. You could leave him tomorrow and as heartbroken and betrayed as he'd feel, deep down he wouldn't be able to find it in himself to blame you

The last thing he wants to make you feel is less than or unworthy. You are worth so, so very much and you deserve only the best

Because he's still learning new habits, accountability is something he finds as uncomfortable as he does necessary and while he doesn't need it in this area, he still values it

Still needs reassurances that you don't think he'd actually do that

[sukunasweetheart]

the urge to throw trueform sukuna into the shoujo manga genre....

(fem!reader, sexual undertones towards the end)

it would be so funny yet so beautiful...i also think he would look so great in that flowery, feminine kind of artstyle <3-

in terms of cliche shoujo love interest, he's a lonely immortal god who is against everything that supports the notion of love... until he experiences what true love is like, for himself. you're his little servant toy that he mingles with for some time, until he realises something's wrong with his heart...

i love him for what he is, but wouldnt it also be lovely to see him in a softhearted story?? the almighty and powerful, but grows weak in the knees all because of one woman!

one day, imagine if he, the most renowned selfish man, with complete disregard for others, who had always valued himself vastly more than anyone else, comes to a point where he sees you in the way of an unstoppable attack from the wrath of an enemy, and rushes in to tank the would-have-been-fatal strike in your stead...

it happened in an instant. he didnt even realise he was moving until he had already been hit. he's bleeding for the first time in a thousand years. he's hit, and it should hurt, it should feel unpleasant, because he certainly wasnt planning to be hit, nor did he engage in this fight for his own pleasure, but for your protection.

yet, he feels relieved. you're tucked behind him safely, looking up at him with worried eyes, and he feels relieved, all because a weakling like you is alive.

after he sends you away to uraume (who gives you the stink eye), he promptly kills the opponent but becomes a little weakened temporarily afterwards as a result of the powerful attack

he's absolutely grumpy about having to be bedridden for a few days for recovery, often stares down at you with unreadable eyes, like he's in deep contemplation about his own feelings

oh fuck me, he thinks, when he finds himself wanting to comfort you as you're in tears over him, even though he's the one that's hurt.

its a confusing sensation, feeling like shit but also not hating everything about being in the centre of your concerns. look at you, feeling so guilty, so worried sick, fussing over him. as you should. he mulls over the incident where he uncharacteristically jumped in to protect you... but he's not one to over complicate things for too long. he'll just continue to do as he pleases, just like before. and if that involves showing you some affection, kissing you, holding your hand, shielding you from his woes... then so be it. if he's the strongest, if he's a god, shouldn't he also be able to save such a frail thing as you?

he orders for your presence in his bed to keep him entertained, but he doesn't even say a word when you're there laying next to him, he's only just staring at you and giving curt touches, like your body is a plaything to him. maybe palms your thighs and breasts, but it doesn't feel sexual at all.

"it's not so bad, having you in my debt," he suddenly says, as sukuna plays around with a lock of your hair. these new feelings he harbors, intrigues him just as much as they irritate him.

"i do owe you my life..." you tell him in response.

"so you're aware. and? what will you do about it?" he asks you.

"i'm not sure, my lord... what would you like me to do?"

"how sly of you, turning the question back onto me."

he thinks about it for a moment.

"well, i suppose there's nothing you could offer me but yourself," he says as he slowly undoes your robe, the other free hand grabbing your face.

"...and your everlasting devotion, to me."

as he's about to sit up to continue, your tiny hand pushes against his chest in resistance.

"you mustn't exert yourself, your wounds are still healing, my lord," you protest, much to his annoyance.

"cease your fretting. movement of this degree isn't enough to hurt me," sukuna sighs, grabbing your wrist and pinning it down against the sheets.

"i... i can do the moving," you tell him with determination, which earns you can amused smile.

"...oh? now that's certainly worth considering," he says, slowly letting go of you.

you carefully get up to straddle the larger man, sitting yourself down on his hips.

"alright then, my brave little devotee. entrance me."

and you do just that for him, all throughout the night. (it wasn't the first time, and it certainly wont be the last)

sukuna learns all about how some fragile things are worth keeping around.

at first, the relationship revolves solely around his own pleasure and satisfaction. but as the ice begins to melt, he sinks into a trap in which he's seeking more and more to keep your own happiness and your beautiful smile in place. he begins to hurt when you're hurting. it was exactly as he feared - his life becoming molded around one singular person who's somehow crawled their way into his heart-- his heart that should've been sealed tight.

at times, when his teasing goes too far, and your bright expressions dissolve into sorrow, his own mood drops considerably and there comes seeping in a crushing feeling in his chest.

he lifts your face up by the chin and says; "i'm only joking. don't make such a pitiful face."

but when he realises that you were merely feigning your hurt, giving him a little cheeky grin, he flies into a quick, but playful anger.

"you little minx. i've spoiled you a little too much haven't i? you're getting ahead of yourself."

he proceeds to lift you up into his arms, an extra hand keeping your wrists together, as he aims to litter his bite marks down your neck and shoulder.

"aah! forgive me, my lord!" you exclaim, writhing around in his tight grip.

but there's an audible giggle in your voice.

Masterlist

tagging; @vagabond-umlaut @yuujispinkhair @satkuna @skunaskitten @sukunastoy @theprettyarachnid @sunshine7queen @gojos-thot-patrol

[intimidating-fettuccine]

It's a complicated topic but... how would LJ, Sully and Jason (separately) react if they had a dream (although it would seem more like a nightmare) where Y/N tricked them?

The three of them like never dream in my opinion so it's definitely angst time but I tried to go more bittersweet. I hope you enjoy

LJ:

Jack almost never dreams, mostly because he almost never sleeps, as it's not necessary for him to function, but most nights it's still just usually quiet in his mind. Tonight, however, was very much not quiet. He'd been feeling quite stressed lately, especially because the two of you hadn't been able to have as much time together, and it seemed his anxieties had manifested as nightmares to haunt him that evening. The words you'd yelled at him, as you'd turned and left him, told him to never speak to you again, it had hurt him more than he thought possible. He wakes, scared and upset, before you even notice the state he's in, chest heaving and tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He shivers as he looks at you, happily curled into his chest and sleeping peacefully, and does his best to calm his racing heart. He pulls you on top of him as he shifts onto his back, staring up at his ceiling and trying to relax.

The shifting causes you to wake, and you tiredly ask him what's wrong, giving him a tired look of concern that has him chuckling and pressing kisses to your cheeks. He tells you he just wanted to cuddle you a bit more, and of course, you're never one to refuse his cuddles, so you curl up onto his chest, snuggling your head into his neck and soon drifting back to sleep. The warmth of your body is enough to comfort Jack, after all; it's proof you're here. You're here, and you're real, and you're not going anywhere, it was just a bad dream. Although he chooses not to go back to sleep, he enjoys spending his time waiting for the morning listening to your calming breathing, and enjoying the weight of your body on top of him. He'll tell you what happened when you awake, the horrible dream he had, and he knows you'll refute the dream, swearing your love for him as you always do, and the thought makes his heart flutter as he hugs you tighter against him, looking forward to those familiar words.

Sully:

Sully doesn't often have dreams, although when he does he tends to be frequented by nightmares, however, they're usually never about you. About his shared trauma with Liu, about his fears and anxieties in general, but when they do happen to be about you, it's usually about him failing to keep you safe in a nightmare, not you being the source of the nightmare. The words you tell him cut deep, and feel so real and painful, but he doesn't want to believe them. You've never looked at him with such hatred, and you'd never say such needlessly cruel things to him, you'd never run away from him, abandoning him in his misery. As he becomes aware of his dream, he fights against it, he knows you could never do this, but he can't pull himself out. It's not until you wake him up yourself that he's able to escape, his teary eyes opening to see you looking at him in deep care and concern.

He doesn't have the words to tell you what's wrong, only being able to mumble that it was a bad dream, and the knowing, loving smile you give him has his heart racing in his chest for another reason. You shift in bed, pulling him into your chest and pressing kisses to his forehead, rubbing his back in the way he's always preferred, and he feels himself calming down. He nuzzles into your neck, quietly crying out that you'd left him, that you'd said he wasn't good enough, and while he knows you'd never say that it still hurts. You hug him tighter, reinforcing that you would never, ever say that, that he's more than enough for you and you'll never leave him like that. His brain is still anxious, but his body can't help but relax into your familiarity, and soon he's drifting off to more peaceful dreams, still clinging to your body for warmth and comfort. When he awakes the following morning, well rested and greeted by your happily smiling face, he knows for certain that everything will be alright. You're not going anywhere, and he'll be able to protect you forever, just as he always does. That thought brings him more joy than he feels he deserves, so he cherishes you and your love more than anything.

Jason:

Jason, as I've said before, also doesn't need to sleep. As my Jason is robotic, he simply enters a powered-down state when he lies beside you at night, and it's rare for his mind to wander and present him with dreams, but the occasional bad dream does sometimes torment him. While normally a still sleeper, as I've previously said, he tosses and turns on nights when he's having bad dreams, and tonight was no different for him. And, as usual, he's awoken by you powering him on and calling for him, holding him close, and asking him what's wrong. All he can do at first is look up at you in confusion and pain, tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyebrows twitching as he tries to process what's happening before his lips tremble and he clings to you as though his life depends on it.

He cries out, saying he had a horrible dream, one where you left him, where you told him he'd never be good enough for you, that he didn't deserve someone like you, that you'd left him all alone so maliciously, and he was so scared because he loves you so much and it hurt him so badly. Jason is, in general, often scared that you'll realize you deserve better than him (which you always deny and say he's the best you could ever have), and it seems his worries became a nightmare for him tonight. You hold him close as he hiccups through his tears, whispering comforting words and smothering him in all the affectionate gestures you know he loves. You remind him that he's your one and only, that nobody could ever beat him for you, and when he asks if you truly mean it, you smile at him and tell him you swear your life on it. He shudders out a breath as he tiredly clings to you, snuggling into your neck and holding you close. The two of you stay up talking for a while, and it reminds Jason how much you care for him, and how much he cares for you, setting his mind and heart at ease as he finally relaxes once more.

[kindheart525]

The Frowning Friends make their triumphant return!

In the version of reality that is the Dottieverse, Grim and Gnarly didn’t die by the Renaissance Men’s arrows after all, although they did come very close. The Boss of Smiling Friends, their former competitor business, was nice enough to call an ambulance for them right away in hopes that they could live to see another smile. The recovery was a long and complicated process, and on top of that they had become public disgraces right before their near-death experience. For a while they laid low as they reevaluated their lives and struggled to adapt to their newly-acquired disabilities, so much that most people thought they really were dead. But now they’re back with a whole new lease on life!

Things are definitely different now. Gnarly is now operating with only one eye and has the occasional flares of pain around the muscles in his neck and shoulder where the arrows hit, plus his heart took a while to heal from the impact. Grim experienced even more changes, with the damage to his frontal lobe causing permanent muscle weakness on one side of his face and body, greatly impacting his ability to walk and speak clearly. Having to finally go to the dentist and get half his teeth removed certainly didn’t help things. Luckily he has a cool new text-to-speech app to help him say what he wants to say, AI trained on old recordings of himself to sound just like his old voice. Plus he has his beloved Gnarly who always knows exactly what he wants to say, who helps him communicate just as he helps him with spatial awareness in return. The brain damage also impacted Grim’s personality a bit, making him even more impulsive and less able to make reasonable decisions than he was before.

Which makes him perfect for his and Gnarly’s new job! Now that they’ve learned how good it feels to smile, they don’t want to go back to their old ways of spreading doom and gloom and making the world frown. Plus it’s just not a sustainable career path anymore. Now that they have a second chance at life they want to live it to the fullest, and now they’re making a living encouraging others to approach life with the same attitude! For better or worse…

"Life could be taken away at ANY MOMENT! So do with it what you've always wanted to do! Tell that person you love you want to run away and get married! Tell your worst enemy you wish they would die in an airplane crash! Don't hold back!"

They’re not edgelords who make people frown anymore but they’re also not quite like the Smiling Friends who work to make everyone smile. Plenty of their advice still creates frowns, which are now just a byproduct of ensuring that someone out there is making the most of life. But they’ll also help the people who got hurt by their clients get revenge if that happens to be a life goal of theirs. Sometimes they stir the pot and cause chaos but that’s part of the thrill of life! They’re wildly successful for their inspirational, don’t-hold-back rhetoric and their tactics which are actually much more disability accessible than anything those Smiling FOOLS have done.

Speaking of the Smiling Friends, the Frowning Friends (they need a new name…) are now less directly opposed to them and more like weekly menaces who are better at their jobs than them. This is because the Smiling Friends, despite having to do absolutely everything to make a client smile, are still bound by certain moral rules that Grim and Gnarly don’t concern themselves with. You might find them convincing Charlie to make irresponsible midlife crisis purchases that will annoy his wife and daughter, or planting ideas in the Pimling children’s heads that will run their father ragged with worry. Perhaps they even convinced Glep to run for President! Who knows what they’re capable of! All that matters is that they’re thriving and living their best lives.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

I had previously been under the impression that AZA accredited zoos and aquariums in the USA are more likely to take good care of animals than those that lack this accreditation. Is this incorrect?

It's... really complicated. The short answer is: maybe? Which doesn't help at all, I'm sure. I'm working on a huge project to try to quantify a bunch of accreditation stuff, so I don't want to say anything concrete from preliminary data, y'know?

Accreditation at a facility tells you, basically, what standards they are supposed to meet and what political group / industry club they're part of. But there's a lot of issues with all of the five zoological accrediting / certifying bodies where oversight during the accreditation cycles doesn't really exist in a functional way? Either reporting systems are in place that highly disincentivize reporting (because they aren't anonymous and could be tracked back to a staffer) or just don't have formal protocols for it all.

So being AZA accredited tells you the type of expectations they're trying to live up to, and what standards they met at the time they were inspected. I have some concerns about whether the standards for certain aspects of accreditation (like aesthetic stuff, not animal care) are really sustainable for duration given how you're constantly hearing about how zoos scramble to get all the little deferred things fixed prior to the next inspection. But, that's not necessarily an issue with the zoos, and more the program - and that's something that AFAIK happens with every accrediting group, not just AZA.

There's also an aspect of how the requirements of each accrediting program kind of... self select for the type of zoos they want? AZA's application and annual fees are incredibly high, which isn't necessarily a good use of money for many smaller facilities; they also require compliance with a lot of things not related to animal care and welfare, like internal staffing structure and facility aesthetics. Again, something that either smaller facilities just can't afford - do you spend money on the animals or on paving all your pathways? - or aren't interested in getting involved with because of how intrusive it is. So most of the AZA zoos you see are the bigger, well-funded ones with city-type aesthetics, because that's what who the program is set up to encourage to apply. (There are definitely exceptions to this, but find me a big city zoo that isn't AZA or in the process of becoming AZA).

To try to answer your questions, AZA zoos are more likely to be high quality because in order to be accredited, they have to have a certain amount of cash flow. Having more funding / income tends to make regular operating issues easier to solve. AZA zoos are certainly more heavily scrutinized every five years by their accrediting body than a group like ZAA, which is mostly focused on animal care / education / conservation and isn't going to meddle in a zoo's business operations. But AZA zoos aren't perfect. Most of them don't even meet all of the AZA standards completely at the time of inspection: there was an article a couple years back about how rare it was that Cheyenne Mountain Zoo met all of the AZA standards at the time of inspection - only the 4th zoo to do so in AZA's 50-something year history. (How that works is that zoos that don't meet all the standards but are close get provisionally accredited, and then have to fix or improve some stuff within the first year to keep it). And believe me, AZA zoos can and do have problems too - look at the embezzlement conducted by the previous leadership at Columbus, or the sexual assault and conduct issues with the Director at Henry Vilas. They're just less often covered in ways that are visible to the public.

Accreditation is a good indicator what a zoo intends to be, and what animal care / conservation ethos it participates in. It isn't, however, always a guarantee that the facility is good or that the animal care (or staff welfare!) is better than at an unaccredited or alternately-accredited place.

[jay-arts-t]

I've returned again but this time I am thinking very much about how when Logan finally regained all of his memories how much he's gotta miss his dad. No, not Thomas Logan- we concern that man with the title of sperm donor. I'm talking about John Howlett Sr. Thinking about that point forward whenever Logan is going through a hard time (all of the time) he just wishes his dad was there because he was the only one who ever gave him comfort as a child (besides Rose but she seemed to be like a sister to Logan.). Thinking about him sitting under a tree on father's day with a bottle of whiskey in hand, reminiscing about all of the years, which seem so few now in his long life, where he'd get to celebrate father's day with his dad. When he was too little to really prepare anything he'd just crawl into his father's bed in the mornings for cuddles, and as he got older Rose or the maids would help him make breakfast. Thinking about them going fishing together, or John sharing some of his own interests with Logan. I like to think he's how Logan got really into vehicles. Yes John was a businessman, he had the family wealth to take care of, but he was a good man too and I think he probably liked working with his hands. So even when Logan remained amnesiac from all of the times his memory was forcibly wiped and tattered, he always found a comfort in working with vehicles because of the time he spent with his dad. And I'm thinking heavily about if Daken/Akihiro (for those who don't know, Daken/Akihiro is Logan's firstborn son from his marriage with Itsu. For a long time they were enemies because of Romulus but eventually they reconciled and Daken is a hero now.) were the one to talk to him about it. They've had a very complicated history with one another, but they've reached a point where they can become close. Daken joining him under that tree silently, trying to think of a taunt to get his father to talk. But the look on Logan's face is too wistful and sullen, so instead he just asks what Logan's father was like. At first Logan scoffs, because he thinks of his biological father at first. He says, "a right bastard who deserves everything he got in the end." and Daken rolls his eyes. "I can smell otherwise. Come on. You can't look like that over a man you call a bastard."

Logan would sigh softly, look over at him for a moment, swallow his pride and nod. "No, you're right. I had a man who I thought for so long was my father, it was hard when I learned I wasn't his son, despite how much he loved me. It felt like I was betraying him by not being his son, and for a long time it made me feel guilty for even being alive. But I don't think he would care if I was biologically his son or not. He wasn't vindictive or cruel. He didn't have a mean bone in his body, which is so different to how I am, and how I've managed to raise you all- or lack thereof-"

"Yeah, I know you aren't the best father. Not one of us will say you are. But you're there when it matters most, and in a roundabout way that makes you a better father than most. If you were a shitty dad you wouldn't have been so merciful to me. You wouldn't have fought for me, even when I hated you and did everything I could to kill you. And the only thing that convinced you to kill me that one time was because it was a turning point in saving the rest of your family from the end of the world. I think we can move past you being a not so great dad. Besides, that's not what we're talking about." Daken reminds him, which surprises Logan. First it's rare that he would even speak so comfortingly. He was used to Daken being cold, precise and abrasive. Not traits that he necessarily resented, he held them often himself. It was just jarring to hear him be so warm.

"You know, maybe you're a bit more like your mom than I give you credit for." Logan tells him. Daken doesn't know how to reply to that other than to punch Logan in the arm as hard as he can. Elder on elder crime. Logan will laugh and rub his arm, "alright alright... But back to what I was saying, my father was kind. Much more kind than most people deserved. My mother didn't like me, I don't know why. Maybe it was because she thought I ruined her life after my older brother died. Even though she was the one who decided to have an affair with the groundskeep. And I guess me getting sick all the time at a young age didn't help her to like me. I remember she'd call me selfish often, because I took so much attention up. My grandfather, Old Man Howlett, would often tell me I was faking it. He also didn't like me very much, but to be fair he didn't like his own son. He wanted my father to be harder on me, rule with a hard hand like how he raised him. But my father wasn't willing to subject his children to the same pain he had gone through. I don't remember much of my older brother, but I imagine he was just as close to father as I was. Sometimes I catch myself wishing that he was still around when I got married to Itsu and had you. Of course I wish I could've raised you. Of course I wish Itsu was still here. But I also wish you could've met my father. I think his kindness would've done a lot of good. He had a way of soothing the soul with a simple touch. He used to pull me into hugs by placing his hand against my head and pressing a kiss to my crown. It got embarrassing when I was starting to grow up, but I would give a damn lot to have that again."

Daken stays quiet for a little while after that, because Logan's pain is so palpable. It always is whenever he shares something. It's rare that he does, and usually it's full of bitterness, and rage, and choked off words because it makes his throat tight and he can smell the salt of pained tears that Logan forces away. But this is a different kind of pain, a pain that Daken is familiar with. This longing for comfort from people meant to protect you. He feels a claw of bitterness pierce his heart for just a moment. The things his father experienced were things he wished for as a child. And while his own adoptive father adored him, it was a limited love that was quickly shattered by the coming of his little brother- and in turn shattered by Daken killing him. But that bitterness and that pain isn't what's needed, those are things Daken has to work out with himself by himself (well no he could go to therapy but this is the Howlett-adjacent family, they're allergic to therapy.). So instead he throws an arm over Logan's shoulder and pats his arm.

"Sounds like he was a good man." He replies and hopes he doesn't sound as awkward as he feels.

"He was. Didn't deserve to die so young. Things would've been so much different if he had lived." Logan sighs and squeezes his eyes shut for a few moments when his pain becomes unbearable. "Lotta shit I wouldn't have gone through if he had lived."

"You almost sound resentful." Daken observes aloud after Logan's second comment. Logan shakes his head, pauses as he considers and then shrugs.

"Emotions are too complex for me to always understand. I'm a man of action, not of words. I guess maybe a childish part of me is mad that he died. Maybe because I've come back from the dead so many times I'm mad at him for being so mortal. It's stupid, I know, and irrational, I know, but, I don't know how else to feel. I miss him. I miss him a lot. I can't stop thinking about him now that I remember him. I remember the way I would run to him whenever I was in pain, no matter what kind. And now I'm always in pain, and I can't help but want to run to him. But he's not here, he hasn't been here since I was thirteen, and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I didn't remember him, even though I've spent so long agonizing over not remembering who I am. I've lost so many people, so many that I've loved so dearly. Yet this is just a hole that won't stop aching and oozing hurt and it's unbearable. But there ain't nothing I can do about it. There's no grave to visit as far as I know. There's no estate to go back to. Ain't no place up in Cold Lake where I can visit the same as it used to be back when he was still alive. I miss him. I miss being a kid and being unaware of all of the pain surrounding me, and all the pain that was in store for me. I miss being able to go into his office and sit on the floor with my back against his desk and read whatever was lying around while he'd work. I miss the times where I was well enough to go run errands with him, even if it was just to stop by the post office or go to the bank. I miss when he'd take me fishing, or he'd take me and Rose on hikes and let us ramble about things he already knew. I miss when I was little and he'd stay up with me while I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep, and I miss how he'd cram himself into my little bed when I needed him to stay because I was scared of being alone... I miss him so much and it hurts."

Well, that's the most Daken has ever heard his father speak... Possibly ever. He doesn't know how to reply other than to hold him a little bit tighter. He knows that him and his father aren't that different from each other, their childhoods aren't parallels but they're pretty similar. A father who cared so deeply despite not being the father, and a mother who cared more for a "better" sibling. For a long time Daken stays silent, because what can he really say? He wasn't the most emotional man. Yes he had a short temper and sometimes his emotions could becoming conflicting and complex, but most things didn't get a reaction out of him. He was cold and calculative. He'd been called a psychopath a number of times and sometimes he believes it to be true. Maybe at least a sociopath instead. So he just continues to sit there beside Logan and let the man calm down himself. When he hears the definitive sigh of Logan sucking it up finally he suggests, "We could make a shrine. If your father was rich there's probably a portrait or photograph of him somewhere. There's gotta be a second estate or some archive."

Logan considers it and nods softly. "There might be. That's a good idea. I think I'd like that."

[eunseoksimp]

Hi! Can you write jealous reader x Sungchan (could be same y/n from poison)

You writing is so good !!x

hey anon, thank you so much for your kind words. i wrote a completely different reader because all my poison creative juices have been exhausted, i hope you don’t mind.

i also low-key got carried away with the insanity, this might be a step further than simple jealousy whoops.

.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

it wasn’t a hidden fact that the bounds of your jealousy did not mirror those of a normal person.

you found that you tended to like people a lot more passionately than others, but you assumed it was overall a healthy amount of course, the type that any person might feel when they liked someone.

that was until you met jung sungchan.

you weren’t sure what it was about him that induced a scary amount of rage every time you saw him draw near to another girl.

you had no right to dictate who he could and couldn’t speak to, because the truth was that the relationship between you and sungchan was complicated.

you couldn’t exactly call each other lovers, but the things that you both did was nothing becoming of friends. so you were stuck in a weird sort of limbo, forced to ramble to your best friends and hope it would alleviate the burning flame that resided in your chest.

‘i don’t get it. it’s not like the both of you are dating, so why do you care that he’s around other girls?’ wonbin spoke up, tossing another skittle into his mouth successfully.

‘she likes him stupid, why else would she feel this way?’ chaewon, who was resting her head on her shoulder had her eyes closed, almost as if she was sleeping, but you knew she was listening.

‘my point is, if you like him why don’t you tell him that?’

you loved wonbin, you really did, but sometimes you wondered how someone so pretty could be so empty headed. he often was unable to pick up on context clues and you thanked god that chaewon was always with you, otherwise you might go crazy.

‘i don’t want to ruin our friendship. what if i lose him forever.’

‘i’m pretty sure your so called friendship was ruined the moment you both decided to fuck like rabbits,’ you lifted your head to give wonbin the middle finger, but quickly dropped it as you sighed.

a drunken night at a party is what led to the situation you were in. at the time you were sure that it was nothing more than sex, and given that the both of you were best friends and trusted each other more than anything, you decided on keeping a friends with benefits dynamic.

it was great at first, being able to sleep with someone without having to worry about feelings, or inviting strangers into your home and your body. sungchan was such a gentleman, looking after you in and out of the bedroom.

when you fucked, it was magical. he was always more concerned with your pleasure than he was his, drawing orgasm after orgasm out of your first before he would finally retire for the night, satisfied that you enjoyed yourself.

eventually, you found yourself craving intimacy outside of the bedroom, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to stay over after to cuddle, or to make the both of you a quick meal.

before you knew it, you started to become dependent on sungchan, needing him nearby at all times, wanting to be the only one he touched, or the only one he looked at. there was a desperate desire for him to be with you forever, and you thrived off of the feelings you got whenever he touched you.

‘i hate that he talks to other girls. it makes me want to hurt them,’ you confessed, truthfully, because you felt like you could trust your friends.

for the first time since you had started your conversation, chaewon’s eyes opened, scrambling to hold your head in her hands as she stared directly at yours.

‘you’re joking. right?’ a part of him knew the answer to that question, chuckling nervously as he observed you.

‘she’s not. that’s the scary part.’

lately it felt like your feelings for sungchan were bordering on obsession. you relied on him heavily for emotional support, seeking attention and validation from him in everything you did.

he had the ability to make or break your day, and you realised that as dangerous as it was, you placed the responsibility of your happiness onto him. depending on when he paid attention to you he could make you feel like you were on top of the world, or in the deepest pits of hell.

‘why is it so serious in here,’ sungchan walked into a tension-filled room, duffle bag slung over his shoulder, hood covering his messy hair.

chaewon moved away to make room for him and wonbin cleared his throat, but you paid no attention to them both, a wide smile forming on your face as you looked at the man you were in love with, even without trying he was beautiful, the ability to take your breath away something that came so easy to him.

‘hey,’ he was standing in front of you, crouching down till you were eye level, his smile mirroring yours as he messed with your hair. there was no way he couldn’t feel the intense connection between the both of you, how perfect you both were for each other.

‘where were you?’

‘karina needed some help so i stayed behind. she got me some coffee to thank me,’ he was nonchalant in what he was saying, but you furrowed your eyebrows at the pink that faintly painted his cheeks.

‘you’ve been spending a lot of time with karina lately,’ you dug your fingernails into your palm, hating the mention of her name.

karina, or yu jimin as written on her birth certificate, was the evil bitch trying to keep you away from sungchan. ever since they started sharing some classes together she had been hanging around him more and more, like a fly hovering over him so persistently.

you recall moments where sungchan would cancel your movie nights, or invite her out when your group would go to the cinema together, or even eat. it drove you mad, watching her flip her hair over her shoulder, flashing him a smile as she playfully pushed his shoulder.

each time your stomach would turn and it would make you want to throw up on the spot. why was she trying to steal your favourite person?

‘i actually wanted to tell you guys something. i-um, we’re going on a date this saturday,’ his eyes darted towards yours and you chew on your bottom lip, afraid to allow your thoughts to spill out.

you were sure he felt the same way you did. he had to with the way he looked at you. he wouldn’t be able to fuck you so good if he didn’t.

so why did he need another girl? what did karina have that you didn’t? how desperately did she push up on sungchan to get him to fall for her.

‘i have to go,’ you stood up abruptly, grabbing your things from beside you and making a beeline for the door, suddenly feeling the room close in on you. you could hear sungchan’s hurried footsteps coming after you, but it only made you want to go faster.

‘please slow down, i need to know if you’re okay,’ he finally succeeded in grabbing a hold of you, chest rising and falling as he caught his breath for a couple of seconds.

‘do you love her,’ your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper as you looked at him expectantly, awaiting his answer.

‘love? what no, i barely know her.’

‘then why are you taking her out?’ a tear spilled down your cheek, but you refused to make an attempt to wipe it.

‘i just- i like her i think,’ you could tell he was trying his hardest not to hurt your feelings, but it only made your heart ache more. how could someone so sweet, someone so caring, want to be with karina and not with you?

how could you carry on knowing the one you love unconditionally, the one that you go to for everything, the one who helped you breathe, was thinking about another girl.

it was hard to hear, to see that his whole world did not revolve around you, like yours did around his. that not hearing from him made you anxious and paranoid that he would one day abandon you.

‘i still want us to be friends, you mean so much to me,’ he was sincere in his words, but your ears were ringing as you thought about the date he would be on with that girl tomorrow.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth, and the rational part of your mind would tell you to see this as a sign to move on, to look for someone else who would love you the way you wanted.

but the loss of sungchan was just too much to bear, so much so that you would do anything to keep him.

this was why you spent the rest of your night stalking through her instagram pages, seeing her likes and dislikes, her personal style.

it was why you were haphazardly dying your hair blonde, having only the tiny mirror in your bathroom to guide you.

it was also why you desperately searched in your cupboard for clothes with the same cuts, or prints as her.

you were changing your self-identity slowly, lost in the hope that this would make sungchan return back to you.

maybe then he would like you.

and when you showed up to sungchan’s house, merely a few hours before he was meant to go on his date, you took the shock on his face to mean a good thing.

‘you look… different,’ his voice trailed off, carefully studying your features.

he was always so perceptive, you were sure he had figured things out by now. but that didn’t matter, as long as you could keep his attention on you for a little while longer.

a faint line between faith and blindly waiting.

[thedoncasterk3]

yeeeeah so I'm clinically addicted to "the space school sapphic romance that becomes a high tech political thriller that becomes a shakespearean revenge plot"-

But genuinely watch Witch From Mercury, here's my pitch/rant:

it starts off with an ep0 "prologue" that already tells you this show is something. It details a science institute that was doing research on an experimental brain-linked interface for machinework (Gund-Arm, aka Gundam), the life of a few people there (including a mom, a dad and their baby), and the assault the government launched on it without warning because of that interface's drawback of being insanely demanding of the human body, and how barely a few people escaped from it.

And then immediately the toneshift going back into ep1 with the protag joining a new school and somehow awkwarding her way into:

-getting into a big robot fight with the top bully in school

-winning

-gaining a courtship with the daughter of space jeff bezos and not even knowing that that would happen.

The show starts off fun and wholesome as suletta and miorine grow close to eachother and other friends they make, and then from roughly halfway through S1 the show starts to give you both the happy chemicals and OH GOD moments, and oh my god it keeps getting better consistently (There's something insane about seeing a usually serious and angry character break their façade in one ep to talk about their romantic feelings, and immediately next episode, have their façade fully fall apart out of sheer fear of something).

:)

Anyway, on a non-"ohno" note

The characters are all likeable, well written and broad and each grow and change throughout the show (including background characters), multiple threadlines keep being unpacked that make you more and more excited and concerned simultaneously, and there's SO many good twists/reveals in it that completely change how you perceive the show or even where the show is going. Not to mention this show will make you question philosophies and ideals heavily. The writing on this show was done with surgical precision.

Sulemio will bring you to the top of the world and also yank you right back down without a parachute (this post was made halfway through S2 and i am in suffering but also worth it for them)

Also, the morals are surprisingly not as black and white as you think, and every character, be it villain or hero, has a completely different motivation which is insanely satisfying.

Also, the animation is fucking BEAUTIFUL.

And with the majority in 2D even for the big battles with the mobile suits, with 3D only being used for rapidly flying small drones or complicated mobile suit coreography and the like. The soundtrack is also incredible too, with there being a crazy amount of orchestral music written for it and the main themes being of a genre only describable as "pop, orchestral and techno fused into one". Love the S2 opener "slash", my favorite overall.

but yes overall, this is a threat if you don't watch this show I will find your fridge and steal ham from it.

PS: the happy birthday song is brought up more than once in the show, and that's a happy and good thing...right?

...right?

[griffin-girl-r]

Breathe

Created: 09.10.2023

Finished: 09.10.2023

Edited: 09.10.2023

Age: Newborn

Word count: 1,485

Warnings: Birth complications

Request: Yes (Wattpad user)

Pairing: BlackHill

Summary: Natasha and Maria get ready to welcome their baby into the world but the complicated delivery they experience brings something unexpected for them.

—

Maria was lying on the hospital bed with her wife, Natasha, sitting beside her for emotional support.

The couple was about to welcome their miracle baby into the world and they couldn't be happier.

Thanks to the medical advancements that were created by Bruce in his lab, with a little bit of financial support from Tony, the scientist discovered a way for two women to have their own biological child and the first couple that volunteered to be tested on was, obviously, Maria and Natasha.

Needless to say, it was the best decision they took in their entire lives because it offered them the chance to fulfill their dreams of becoming parents.

Sure, they have thought about adoption and alternative methods, like a donor, but it, just, didn't feel right for them.

So that's what brought them to this moment.

The joyous day when Maria, who had been the one to carry the baby, entered in labor, and each passing second brought the couple closer to the moment they would hold their tiny angel in their arms.

-

"You can do this, baby." Natasha encouraged Maria, her voice filled with anxiety and anticipation "You're so strong."

"It hurts so much, Nat." Maria cried out in pain, squeezing Natasha's hand with such strenght as if she wanted to break it

Maria was already in labor for the past 20 hours and the doctors buzzed around the expectant mother, emanating an air of concern.

They knew all too well that a prolonged labor was nothing but harmful for both the mother and the baby.

"I know, my love." Natasha wiped the sweat away from Maria's forehead with her hand before placing a firm kiss on it "The doctors are here to help you and Bruce will make sure that it won't be long till our baby is here."

"I want this baby out of me!" Maria screamed as a contraction hit her full force

"Call down, Agent." Bruce stormed inside the room, adjusting his medical gloves on his hands "The time for your baby to come is here."

"Thank God." Natasha breathed out reliefed "You heard that, sweetheart? Our baby needs you now more than ever. I'm right beside you. We're in this together."

"You better!" Maria groaned

Bruce walked over to the bed and placed an oxygen mask over Maria's face, carefully helping the pregnant woman to change her position and prepare for the delivery.

"I love you so much, Masha." Natasha whispered into her wife's ear, brushing the wet hair away from Maria's forehead "We'll get through this as a team."

"Alright, Maria." Bruce positioned himself at the foot of the bed "You know what you need to do. Now push."

-

"I can't do this!" Maria screamed, overwhelmed by the unbearable pain that was cursing through her body

"I can see the head!" Bruce shouted "Just one more push!"

"Tasha..." The brunette breathed out exhausted, her face pale "Please, take care of our baby."

Natasha shook her head as she squeezed Maria's hand reassuringly "I will but you are also going to be there to help me raise our baby."

"You know my mother died to bring me into this world." Maria tearfully said "What if I'm destinated to die during childbirth as well? Is that how she felt? Without any regret to die only for the wellbeing of the baby."

"That won't happen, babe." Natasha reassured with a rushed tone "You just focus on taking deep breaths and don't worry about anything else."

"No one's going to die today." Bruce loudly declared "Not you, not your baby. Not on my watch."

"Ah!" Maria screamed as she gathered the last remains of strenght she had left in her body

Silence settled over the room and Maria let out a deep sigh in relief, relaxation washing over her entire being.

"You did it, love!" Natasha cheered, kissing Maria's dry lips

But something was odd.

Maria weakly lifted her head and scanned the room with her eyes. The relief she felt was quickly replaced by worry as fear gripped her heart.

The deafening silence in the room persisted, casting an eerie veil of dread over everyone.

"Why isn't the baby crying?" Maria mumbled, voicing out the question that was present in her and Natasha's minds

"Shit!" Bruce loudly cussed, turning around to a nearby table, his hands working on auto-pilot

"Bruce?" Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat before slightly standing up to catch a glimpse of what was going on "What's happening? What's wrong with our baby?"

"She's not breathing." Bruce swiftly moved as he carefully placed the newborn baby on the table

"No..." Maria cried out in disbelief "It can't be."

"She's going to be okay." Natasha tried to keep her tears at bay, failing miserably in doing so, her heart tightening in her chest "Our baby is going to be okay."

"Come on, little baby." Bruce huffed as he started performing CPR on the baby "You ain't going anywhere."

"Please, baby." Maria cried as Natasha pulled Maria's head into her chest "Breathe."

"Just breathe, sweetie." Natasha continued, hugging Maria tighter to her chest

Time seemed to stand still in those moments of uncertainty.

They couldn't have fought so fiercely to have a baby only to have their hearts crushed before they even got the chance to hold their baby girl into their arms.

"Please, Y/N." Maria cried

"Come on!" Bruce shouted, a vein on his neck turning green "Your mothers need you here with them!"

"My life for hers!" Maria shouted, her gaze shifting upwards towards the ceiling as tears cascaded uncontrollably down her cheeks "If that's what you want then take it! Just save my baby."

Just then, it was as if the heavens heard Maria's pleading, and a cry pierced through the room, though weak at first.

"She's back!" Bruce laughed in disbelief "We got her back!"

Maria shot her eyes closed tightly, a cry of relief escaping her mouth as the weight of Bruce's words settled in.

Natasha's knees suddenly gave up on her and she dropped back into the chair underneath her as her limbs froze and she couldn't move anymore.

Bruce turned around, holding you in his arms and he gently placed you in Maria's waiting arms.

Your parents instantly noticed how your bluish skin was slowly turning pale and then back to its normal color.

Natasha reached her trembling hand toward your tiny foot and marveled at how small it was, while Maria placed a soft kiss on the soft tufts of brown baby hair that adorned your tiny head.

"Welcome to the world, Y/N." Maria smiled, as she looked into your big, innocent, green eyes

-

"So what happened then?" Natasha asked Bruce a few hours later while she sat on Maria's bed, her arms wrapped around her girls

"She experienced a nuchal cord that cut the oxygen flow." Bruce looked over the file in his hand

"Bruce..." Natasha sighed "I speak a lot of languages but your medical language ain't one."

"Explain it in terms we can understand, Banner." Maria looked up from your sleeping face to Bruce as she kept slowly rocking you

"She experienced a cord compression which literally means that she was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck too tightly." Bruce explained "It's not an unusual thing to occur during difficult births. It happens in around 20-30% of cases and the long labour Maria had just made everything a little bit more difficult."

Maria looked back down at the baby in her arms and she teared up before voicing her concerns.

"Will she be okay?" Maria's trembling voice choked back tears "Is the lack of oxygen she experienced in the first moments of life going to leave lasting consequences?"

"She's going to be just fine." Bruce smiled reassuringly "I checked her and I can confirm that she will be able to live a completely normal life without any lasting consequences."

Both mothers allowed relief to wash over them and they shifted their attention back to you but not before sharing a quick kiss.

"I told you that everything would be okay." Natasha whispered, your tiny fingers tightly wrapped around the redhead's index finger

"I am so happy to finally have her here with us." Maria chuckled tearfully "She gave us quite the scare."

"That you can say again, love." Natasha laughed

-

This wasn't the perfect birth Maria and Natasha imagined that they would experience but it had its unique way to ensure that the new mothers would never forget this day.

This day reminded them of the fragility of life and, at the same time, of its beauty and the moments that are worth living for.

Despite everything, all that mattered was that their baby was alive, healthy, and breathing.

Every hardship they faced served as the reminder to appreciate each day and live it to the fullest.

—

Permanent taglist: @lizlil , @mmmmokdok , @sheneonromanoff , @justarandomreaderxoxo , @observeowl , @darkstar225 , @circe143 , @lovelyy-moonlight , @natsxwife , @dannipotatoo , @youralphawolf72 , @ravensinthedaylight

[chahnniesroom]

tenderness | chapter 5: a little too much

[noun] /ˈtendərnəs/

1. the quality of being gentle, kind, or loving

2. the feeling of pain, aching, or soreness

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don’t know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.

chapter word count: 3.4k

chapter warnings: arguing

a/n: just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has liked, commented, and reblogged tenderness! i appreciate every interaction so so much!

also, happy stay day!!

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As preparations for the tour ramp up, so does the amount of time you spend working. 

You’re still doing double time, assisting with schedules while staying up late at your desk to reply to emails and finalise details for the tour. You resort to alternating between sipping on tea and energy drinks to help you stay awake long enough to finish all your work. Even though you don’t like the way they make you feel, jittery and sometimes nauseous, it’s the only way that you’re able to meet your deadlines. Everyone on your team is feeling stressed these days and not even the snacks that the company sometimes provides are enough to bring a smile to people’s faces.

The only person that consistently stays later than you is Chan. He has practically become a permanent fixture in his studio and you’re starting to just barely meet the minimum recommended Charging times. It’s not bad enough that you’re concerned, you just watch what you’re eating and make sure that you’re getting enough calories to keep your energy levels up.

You keep a more careful eye on Chan’s diet too, although you don’t interfere because you know he has his own goals for the condition of his body. You make sure that the snacks and drinks he likes are always provided during schedules, that there’s always food available to eat in his studio, and bring dinner to him more often than not.

The two of you are on good terms, even if you don’t have a chance to hang out as often doing anything other than working or eating. In fact, you’re probably closer than you were before. Chan doesn’t treat you any differently, but there was a deeper understanding that was shared between the two of you. 

You’re relieved that after so many nights you spent worrying about Chuseok, you no longer felt like you were hiding something from him. There’s an unspoken agreement not to bring up anything about your eomoni’s treatment of you. You don’t think that you’ll ever see eye-to-eye on the subject, but you had expected that. You know how bad your relationship looks from an outsider’s perspective, but to you it’s complicated in a way that you don’t know how to put into words.

—

The first concerts for the tour were held in Seoul, so you didn’t think that you’d be as heavily involved. You’re honestly not too sure what to expect from your first time helping out backstage, but you never could have imagined the chaos.

During the first night, everyone was relieved that things went relatively smoothly onstage, but there were a lot of small problems that had to be resolved on the fly and need to be relooked at again. It means that, although the audience and the members had a great time, all the staff were exhausted by the end of the concert. You spent most of the time running back and forth basically as a stagehand, as it was too short notice for you to explain fixes for many of the issues that came up and easier for you to just do it yourself. You hadn’t realised how involved you were in the run of show, but over the months you had become familiar enough with all the little details that to be busy all night.

Cleaning up was another beast. Everything had to be packed away after each concert, but it seems like all the equipment has multiplied and there aren’t nearly enough containers to put them into. With all the troubleshooting, things weren't where you thought they would be or had been modified and could no longer be stored the way they were previously. It felt like a more intricate game of jenga with costumes, accessories, and equipment that were thousands of dollars.

Debrief was at least a chance for a physical break, but it’s another hour of discussion with your team on what could have been improved and what went well before you’re allowed to go home. You fell asleep in the car ride and Eunsung has to shake you awake when he drops you off in front of the dorms. You’re severely tempted to close your eyes during the elevator ride, but force yourself to stay conscious. You barely make out a greeting to the members, before collapsing on the couch, grateful to finally be sitting.

At least they’re all in an infectiously good mood, even if a few of them had cried from all the emotions during the encore. Their boost of energy cheers you up a bit and after a bit of time resting, you’re happy to join them for a very late meal. They eagerly recount everything that happened during the concert and talk over each other trying to share funny stories of mishaps or entertaining things they noticed in the crowd.

As tiring as it was for you, you think that it’s all worth it. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the members so excited, and as you were exiting the arena, there were a number of Stays that you had encountered, all of them equally as thrilled.

—

Working in the office is reprieve from the craziness of the concerts. The second show was fairly similar to the first, but a bit smoother and with that it was more fun. You knew better what to expect and found yourself enjoying the chaos instead of getting swept away. But even though you enjoyed the experience overall and are still looking forward to the rest of the tour, you now have a better appreciation for the quiet. You're definitely relieved that the initial tour planning gave a bit of time between the Seoul, Japan, and international concerts. 

The next month before you have to leave for Japan is critical, not just for you but also the members. It feels like you barely see any of them outside of the company anymore. Even though they've just had a comeback recently, they're already preparing songs for the next one and juggling that with attending brand events, doing solo interviews, and photoshoots for magazines. 

Chan has never complained about any of it, but you know that their growing popularity means more pressure and that's taking a toll on all of them. 3Racha spend hours going back and forth perfecting portions of songs before sending them for approval, more members try to get involved in songwriting, and everyone devotes their free time to vocal lessons, dance practice, and working out.

You know that they've been offered more days off, but were adamant to keep the schedules as tightly packed as possible. You're proud of them and understand why they've chosen this, but you're also concerned. The only thing you can do is support them and cheer them on, knowing that doing your job well will help them do their job.

—

It's just before 12:30 in the morning when you finally decide to save everything and turn off your computer. Although you're used to the long days and late nights, an early morning schedule means that you have to be back at the JYP building by at least 6 am to prepare, an hour earlier than the call time for the boys. You quickly pack your bag and make your way down to Chan's studio, where he's doubtlessly still working.

Sure enough, when you knock on his door and gently ease it open, Chan has his headphones on and barely nods a greeting before focusing back on his laptop. Knowing that your presence is enough of a signal for him to get ready to leave, you flop down onto his couch and pull up your thread of texts with one of the company drivers. 

You feel guilty but the recent cold weather and ever present threat of sasaengs camping outside of the building mean that he's used to all the late night requests. A fan had recently cornered Chan as he had left one day and had later posted about their encounter, leading to an increasing number of people loitering around the main exit, hoping for a glimpse of any of the members. Although there hadn’t really been any issues, it was enough that the JYPE had sent out a company-wide email about being more vigilant on keeping track of who is walking in and out of the building, as well as more security for the time being.

[12:32 am - sent]

Sorry, Chan-ssi and I will need a ride back to the dorms soon!

[12:34 am - received]

K. Just let me know when you're ready and I will pick you up.

[12:34 am - sent]

Thanks! You're the best! I'll let you know when we're about to head down.

Satisfied, you switch to one of your guilty pleasures, scrolling through Twitter. 

Your first account had been created before you worked at JYP and was used to keep up with some of your friends. You had made your second account when you started working with Xdinary Heroes as a show of support and also to get more insight on the fans to better cater to them. Now, that account and the newest one you had for Stray Kids were purely for fun. Sure, it was sometimes useful for work to see what piqued interest the most and what people were complaining about, but you mostly wanted to see people's reactions to content, it saved you money from subscribing to Bubble, and you could bookmark fanart that you thought the members might like to see.

You didn't post much and if you did, made sure nobody would be able to deduce that you were part of the staff. Your profile was generic and you followed a mix of Korean, English, and Japanese accounts, as well as some of the popular translation ones.

Everyone was excited for the upcoming Japan tour dates, especially after the recent Seoul concerts. The preview for the Japanese merch had just been released today so it dominated your timeline. Even though you haven't been on in a few days, you're glad to see there's still a lot of posts from the concert and that so many people, regardless of whether they were able to attend, enjoyed the show. 

Technically you had been there and there were a few screens scattered around that were streaming what was happening on stage, but all the staff were so busy that you had only been able to catch a few glimpses of the performances. Based on your conversations with other managers and coordis, it would continue similarly for the next few concerts as new issues arose and would have to be solved on the spot. You were hoping that you'd have a chance to be part of the crowd for at least one night sometime this tour.

After scrolling for about 15 minutes, you lower your phone a little bit to peek and see what Chan's doing. He’s still working on a song and doesn’t look close to stopping. You frown, usually he’s pretty good about wrapping up his work shortly after you arrive.

“Channie-oppa,” you call, keeping your tone light. “Are you almost done?”

“Yup,” he says absentmindedly, not even pausing in the work that he��s doing. You stare at him for a moment, but give him the benefit of the doubt. You know there’s more pressure on him than usual, there’s looming deadlines for their next album and limited time to do everything with preparations for the rest of the concerts. Even if it means sacrificing a little bit of energy, you don’t mind giving him some extra time.

After you notice 15 more minutes have passed, you bite your lip, not wanting to interrupt again, but also wanting to get home to rest and Charge for as long as possible. With a press junket scheduled to start early in the morning and continue for most of the day, you know that Chan has a long day ahead of him, and that yours was going to be even longer since you had to arrive before the members to help set up everything. 

It’s when the driver you had contacted sends you a text asking for an estimate on when you want to be picked up, that you decide to speak up.

“Hey, how much longer do you think you’ll be?”

“You can go home first,” Chan says instead of answering your question.

"Tomorrow your schedule starts-" you start to explain, but get cut off.

"I know," Chan says, sounding annoyed. He finally turns around to face you and tugs his headphones off roughly. "But this is important, I need to finish as much as I can right now, okay?"

"I’m saying this for your benefit. You'll be able to work better after you rest. I think it would be good if you took a break tonight."

"I'm good now!” he snaps. “I'm really good now. I was also good when you were not here. When you weren’t my soulmate. I worked as much as I wanted. I did things I liked. Even without you, I was fine every day."

"I- '' You swallow hard and look down, biting the inside of your cheek hard. Without anything for your hands to do, your fingers find a hangnail on your thumb and pick at it. "I just want to help you."

"Thanks, I don't need it,” he says, exasperated. “You really don't have to do these things for me. I can order my own dinner. I can choose when I want to work and when I want to stop. If I need to check my calendar, I can look it up by myself. You aren't family. You aren't my girlfriend. Yes, you’re a manager for Stray Kids. Yes, you're my soulmate, but you don't have to…. try to do everything, you know? It’s enough for you to just live your own life and do your job as a manager, but you don’t have to do anything extra.”

You make a small noise of acknowledgement, but the sound comes out with difficulty. Your throat is tight and aching while your nose is starting to stuff up, making it harder to breathe normally. You blink rapidly to keep your vision clear, eyes stinging. You know crying won’t do anything to change the situation except maybe make it worse, but you can’t help it. You’re almost glad when Chan continues on without waiting for a reply, as you don’t think you’d be able to say anything if he wanted you to.

“I know you think you know what this industry is like after 3 years, but you don’t. I was a trainee for 7 years, I’ve been an idol for longer than you've worked here. I know better than anyone what my limits are. You've told me how controlled you felt when you used to live at home, but sometimes I can’t help but think that some of your eomoni’s methods have rubbed off on you. I don't need someone constantly nagging me about this and that. I don’t need you bringing me food just because you think I need it. I don’t need you reminding me about schedules. I don't need you sitting around my studio trying to get me to go home when I'm not finished with my work. And I definitely don’t need or want you telling me when I should be taking a break, resting, not working, sleeping, all of that. Please, please, can’t you just leave me alone?”

“I’m sorry.” Your voice sounds wet and thick and cracks in the middle of your words. Not knowing what else to do, you bow in apology and are grateful that your face is hidden when you realise that the tears that have gathered at the corners of your eyes have finally fallen. You wipe them hurriedly, feeling mortified, but Chan hasn’t even noticed, already turned towards his laptop and with his headphones back in place. Even though he can’t hear you, you still say, “I’ll just go ho- back to the dorm now.”

As expected, he doesn't reply.

You must have subconsciously backed up when Chan's tone had risen, because you were now only a couple steps away from the exit, making your retreat easier. You close the door behind you as quietly as possible and beeline to the bathroom.

The harsh glare of the fluorescent lights hurt your eyes and exaggerate the redness of your face when you stand at the sink and stare at yourself. Where the skin was worried away on your thumb, there are now smudged beads of blood that you wash away. You splash your face with water to wipe away your tears, then press a soaked paper towel against your eyes to try to cool down the swollen skin there. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you almost laugh at the pitiful expression that stares back at you. It reminds you of all the times you did this when you were younger after conversations with your eomoni, meticulously applying make-up to hide any signs of weakness. You had gotten better over the years, at cleaning yourself up carefully and preventing yourself from crying in the first place.

After blowing your nose, you leave and head toward the building’s lobby. You don’t think that you can face anybody else tonight, so you text the company driver again, telling him that you’re getting a ride with someone else but that Chan would probably still need to get a ride home a bit later. You don't wait for confirmation before locking your phone and dropping it into your bag.

For once, you’re grateful for the cool air as you step outside the doors, the usually biting winds feel refreshing against your hot skin. At this time of night, there aren’t many people around, which means nobody pays attention as you start walking towards the dorms.

You take deep breaths to try and calm yourself down, pressing your cold hands against your cheeks which are still flushed with emotion.

You feel humiliated. Had you really come across as that desperate and overbearing in your interactions with Chan? 

One of your eomoni’s favourite ‘reminders’ to you growing up was that you were too much.

You were too emotional, too dramatic, too sensitive. You spent too much time daydreaming, imagining a future for yourself that would never happen. You were too open with people, too trusting. 

People don’t want that, she would say. They want you to be polite and quiet. You can have opinions, just keep them to yourself. You spend too much time doing whatever you want and not enough time listening to what people are telling you to do. You're expected to be obedient. Don't overstep.

It hurt to know that maybe there was truth in her words. It was clear now that you had done more than overstep.

Chan had sounded stressed, angry, and his tone had been cold, much sharper than you had ever heard before. He had been cruel, even. But what had caught you off guard the most was the deep-rooted frustration that you had heard. It meant that this likely wasn't the first time that he had thought these things, it was just the first time he had shared them with you. It was a wound that had been festering and he was just now exposing it for you to see.

You hate that you had caused that.

You also couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by your display of emotions in Chan’s studio. You hoped that he hadn’t noticed, but found it hard to believe that he couldn’t tell your voice was more choked up than usual. You used to pride yourself in having full control of your emotions, but had found yourself caught off guard so many times since you had met your soulmate.

You had become too soft-hearted and you hate that too.

Mechanically, you let yourself into the dorms and complete your nighttime routine as quietly as possible. All the other members are home, but their doors are closed and lights are off. Exhausted and emotionally drained, you curl up on your side of the bed and close your eyes, willing yourself to fall asleep quickly. 

The wound on your thumb stings.

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