#these boys have been through fucking shit way too young and huge shoutout to them for where they are now

[alloutshirt]

~

[sherlollydramoine]

Animals Chapter One

Warnings: Smut. Lots of it. Though *GASP* I did manage to write protected sex but not all of it is, also some of the smut is just implied. Language, sex, and adorable fluff all at the same time. I don’t know Rami or anyone associated with him.

HUGE SHOUTOUT TO @r-ahh-mi for her dedication, encouragement, suggestions, and her editing advice.

Word Count: 2770

I know that Rami’s timeline for this may not be entirely accurate, but this is my story and I’ve taken liberties. 

“C’mon babe it’ll be fun! Seriously, there is no privacy for us anywhere and I’m tired of sneaking around just to get an opportunity to give my girl some proper lovin’” he whined, in your ear. “It’s bad enough that neither of us have been able to travel as much since I left for school, and I miss you so fucking much. I  get so much crap from my classmates about how much time I spend thinking about you.”

You were laying down in the backseat of his car, with him still on top of you as you had just finished having some pretty incredible sex. Now he was trying to convince you that both should go on your first random road trip together. Or rather, a spontaneous adventure, as he kept referring to it.

“I don’t know. I have to work and you are only going to be home from school for a very short period of time. Your family misses you a lot and I don’t want to take you away from them more than I already have. I don’t want them to hate me more than I’m sure they already do.”

“Well, that’s up to you. I know you have quite a bit of savings, as do I. Believe it or not, I’ve managed to put away a decent chunk of money, even as a poor college student. Mama taught me how to be frugal. And don’t talk like that because you know for a fact that my family adores you. My brother keeps giving me shit about the fact that we aren’t married yet. He said that he was certain that it would have happened the day you turned eighteen.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that statement because marriage was something that both of you had talked about since you were both sixteen. Both of you were fairly certain that it was an inevitability for you both.

“You know what? We are young, in love, so why the hell not. Let’s do it. I hate my stupid fucking job anyway and there will always be other job opportunities.”

“That’s the spirit! I love you. I’m so happy that you decided to say yes, because I have a few surprises that I had planned, if you had said yes to this.”

“When should we leave?”

“Tonight?” 

“Great, but what time tonight? I get off work at 10, but I don’t want to smell like the diner so I’d want to go home and at least shower first.”

“Since I was going to drop you off at work, I can pick you up and take you home so that you can shower and then we go after that. Does that sound like a plan?”

“Yes. Now come here lover boy. I want you so bad right now. We’ve got time to make up for.”

“Again? Didn’t we just-” you cut him off mid sentence with a kiss. His mouth not putting up much of a fight against yours. Your fingers threading through his wild hair as you pull him closer. 

Your naked bodies already tangled together in the backseat of the car, your hips bucked into his, and you can feel his hardening member against your thigh. He stops momentarily to grab his jeans off the floorboard to grab another condom out of his pocket, and he wastes very little time slipping it on. 

“Mmmm baby.. I want you so fucking bad.” you murmur against his ear.

Your body,so easily turned on by him, was already slick and ready and you couldn’t help the low moan that escapes you as he slides into you. Wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, you buck your hips in time with his thrusts. 

The only sounds you could hear was the squeaking of the car as it rocked in time with your joint movements, and the quiet moans that you were both letting out.

“Ohhhh. Yes baby… don’t stop…”

“Fuck baby, always so tight for me. I love you. You feel so good. Just.. uhhh.. Fuckkkk.. Yesss..” 

Skin slapping skin as your hips meet in time with each other, your desperation for each growing in this heated moment. Your nails clawing at his back as his thrusts become more frantic in their pace. 

Unable to restrain your pleasure you let it all out with a series of moans as you continued your assault on his back. Your moans only spurred him on further; your bodies slick with sweat, his moans in your ear getting louder.

“Yesss baby…. Godddd… yesss….please don’t stop baby.. Fuckkkk…. I’m so close… So close…. “ you whined in his ear. 

His lips descend on yours for a heated kiss as his hips pounded into yours, working to push you over the edge and into the depths of your orgasm. 

It took a few more thrusts of his hips to get you there, but you came around him with a muffled scream of his name as your nails dig further into his back. You felt his cock twitch and body stiffen, as he followed you into orgasmic bliss. 

His body collapsed on top of yours as you held on to him tightly until you both were recovered enough to finally move again.

“Damn babe. That was hot.” he smiled, your naked bodies still tangled together.

“It always is with you my love.”

“I can feel it now babe, but seriously, I think you fucked up my back. Jesus woman, you are seriously like a fucking cat. I can’t take my shirt off for a while now, or my brother will give me so much shit and the rest of my family will know exactly what the hell we’ve been up to. They know we are together, but I think with them, ignorance is bliss.”

You giggled and could feel yourself turning red with embarrassment. ”I’m sorry my love. I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it, but if it makes you feel better, I won’t walk right for a week.”

The smug look on his face told you that he was content with that knowledge. 

“I wouldn’t worry about your back anyway since we are leaving tonight, so who gives a fuck who sees you with a clawed up back. Maybe I was just marking my territory. Hell, I’ve got enough hickies all over me that I might as well be a walking advertisement for ‘committed relationships,’”you shrug as you both sat up in the back seat and started to re-dress. 

“I hate when our time together comes to an end like this, but I should probably get you home so that you can get ready for work.” 

“Me too. I should just say ‘fuck it’ and just go to work all mussed and smelling like sex,” you giggled again.

“Oh fuck babe, that would be so hot, but no, I promised my brother that we’d go to dinner tonight. He knows how bad I want to see you though so he suggested that we go to your diner for dinner. Their burgers at least are delicious,” he smiled into your hair.

“I love you so much Rami. I swear you are the best and bless your brother for giving up some of his precious little time with you just for us. Maybe I fell in love with the wrong twin,” you tease, laughing at the mock hurt on his face.

“How dare you!” he gasps in shock as he dramatically places his hand over his heart.

“Oh you!” you poke him in his stomach and he yelps. “Always so freaking dramatic…”

“I’m an actor, that’s what I’m supposed to do. Ya know? Be dramatic!” he exclaimed.

You roll your eyes at him,”You’ve always been a dramatic ass bitch, but it’s alright, I still love you anyway.” 

“Ugh.” he dramatically sighed.

“Seriously? The dramatics again.”

His laugh was loud as he playfully shoved you before he opened the back door of the car and climbed out, stretching his body. God you almost started drooling watching his muscles flex and move as he stretched.. His shirt riding up on his stomach just a little bit, and for some reason you had to resist the urge to bite it. Next time, you are definitely going to leave a little mark there, right above the ‘v’ of his delicious hips. Leave your mark on him, like staking a claim, a little something that temporarily marks him as yours.

You followed his lead and exited the back of the car, smoothing your dress down over your hips before leaning against the drivers side door waiting for him to wander his way back to you. Once he was in front of you, you throw your arms around his neck and give him a sweet chaste kiss. 

“I love you so damn much. How the hell did I get so damn lucky?” you smiled, tears filling your eyes from all of the random emotions swirling around inside of you.

“Aw baby don’t cry. I love you too! Don’t doubt yourself love, because I’m the lucky one. The luckiest man alive because I have you,” he reassured as you sniffled into his chest. 

“No way. Me. I’m… I’m.. I’m.. just.. I’m so plain,” You gestured to your body as if to demonstrate your point.

“Excuse me. No. I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. I see a beautiful woman with the kindest eyes, beautiful hair, and a generous heart. I’m the lucky one because have you seen me? The guy with big eyes that looks so different from the majority of my peers.” He tried echoing your earlier movements.

“No! Don’t you ever say that!” you yelled. “You’re eyes are so expressive and gorgeous. I’ve known you forever and I still can’t figure out exactly what fucking color they are. They are… I call them ‘ocean eyes’ because they are ever changing from green to blue to sometimes gray. You are so talented and anyone that doesn’t see how talented you are is a fucking loser. And you will be successful no matter what because you want it, your live it, you fight for it. You are the love of my life, and I will stand behind you and support you no matter what!” You said holding him a little tighter now, because you know how insecure he can be about the way he looks.

“Oh babe. Look at us, arguing over our looks. If anyone overheard this conversation they would think we are the two most shallow individuals on the planet,” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

“Rami, this is fucking LA, ninety-eight percent of the population is made up of a bunch of shallow assholes. So for someone to overhear a conversation about our looks would just think we are another bunch of wannabe somethings.”

He let out another bark of laughter before he kisses your forehead. 

“Okay, we need to get going now or both of us are going to be late.”

It was your turn to laugh again before you pointed out the fact that his name should actually be Rami Late-For-Everything Malek. To which he actually just flipped you the bird and that made you laugh so much harder than you already were. That was your Rami; playful and fun, sarcastic and just.. he was always making you laugh.

Sighing you climb into the passenger seat and buckle up. He puts the car in drive and cranks the radio up. You both sing along loudly and off-key to nearly every song that came on. Time seemed to pass by all too quickly and before you knew it, you were outside your house. You lean over to give him a not so chaste kiss, pulling away all too quickly. 

“I’ll see you in a few hours baby. Oh, I forgot to tell you, bring your birth certificate and passport with you, just in case we decide to do something reckless on our little trip,” he smiled conspiratorially at you before giving you a wink. He can’t wink for shit, but it's adorable watching him try. 

Confusion racking your brain, but not questioning his motives, you shut the door, and watch him drive away. Feeling like you were floating on air, you nearly dance your way into the house that you share with your parents and begin packing for your trip. 

You decide to pack fairly light, even though you have no clue how long this trip is going to last for and you grab the documents that he requested that you bring with you, putting them in a plastic Ziploc bag, and shoving them into your backpack. 

You decided to lay down for about an hour to take a small nap before work; your body a little tired from the vigorous activities earlier this afternoon. Waking with your alarm, you get up and take a quick shower. Then you get dressed in your ugly work uniform, grab your bags and head out the door as you stood at the end of your driveway waiting for Rami to show. He’s a little late like always so your mind wanders back to what he had said earlier. What could he possibly mean by ‘if we decide to do something reckless’? 

The thoughts roll around in your brain- you must have looked like an idiot standing there lost in thought that you barely registered that he had pulled up. 

“Yoooo babe!!!” he hollered out the window which snapped you out of your thoughts. 

“Sorry, I’m comin!” you holler back. “Oh pop the trunk I’m going to throw my shit in there.”

He does as you ask and you toss your backpack and small duffle bag into the trunk of his car and you notice that he has several bags already in there, including what looked like a garment bag.

“Hey Sami!” you smile, as you climb into the backseat. You hadn’t even realized that his brother was in the car with him when he pulled up.

“Hey Y/N. How’ve you been?” he asks, a small smile on his face. 

“Great, but you don’t have to ask, I just saw you last week before Rami came home. So compared to how I was last week I am doing so much better. Happier. Ugh babe, I can’t believe the seat isn’t dry yet. Jesus it’s had a few hours to bake in the sun and it’s still wet. Now my ass is going to be all wet when I get to work.”

Sami nearly spit his water all over the dash as his brother was now speeding down the highway towards your place of work; Rami just wore a smirk.

“You two are fucking disgusting. Animals.” Sami grumbles.

“That we are Sami-cakes, but the sex is always worth it,” you managed to get out between fits of giggles.

“Dude, she just called me ‘Sami-cakes’ like.. Seriously?”

“She calls me Rami-cakes, so Sam that just means that she likes you. She did tell me earlier that she thinks perhaps she fell in love with the wrong twin.”

The twins laughter rang through the car against the noise of traffic. 

“So what the hell did you two do while I wasn’t around? 

“The same thing we always do, just bro stuff.” Rami replied.

“Oh. I took a nap, because dealing with people gets irritating, and it’s even worse when I’m tired. I also think that my body needed a rest after the vigorous activities from earlier.” 

“Awwww I wore you out.” 

“Ewwww.. I don’t need to hear this,” Sami smirked, while plugging his ears.

“Don’t worry ya prude, your brother gave it to me good, more than once. Good lord his stamina and recovery time is the stuff of legends.” you state as Sami just made gagging noises.

“That’s on a need to know basis, and I DO NOT need to know this.”

All too soon the car pulled up to the diner that you worked in, and you said your goodbyes to the twins, kissed your boyfriend not so chastely in front of his brother who just let out another series of gagging noise which caused you to have another fit of giggles.

“Before you go love, I just wanted to tell you again how much I fucking love you, and I’m glad you’re home even if it’s just for a brief period of time.”

“I know. I love you too, but I gotta go before I make you late, or my brother causes me physical harm, whichever comes first.”

tags: @warmommy @xmxisxforxmaybe @free-rami @mrhoemazzello @spacedustmazzello @itsme690 @ramimedley @safinsscar @ladyr0b0t @youthtea @ramisgirl512 @hissom1933 @sassystrawberryk @ramimalekpan @breadnbutternips @doing-all-write @itslula1991 @sasha--1996 @imnottiredofgettingoveryou @alottanothing @mezzomercury @theultraviolencefan @the-real-ramimalekpeen @sasha--1996 @hazeleyedbeth @txmel @w0lfglrl17​ @adoremalek​ @angeleyesmalek​ @rawmemalek​ @lunasasylum​ @lablanchett​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​

[singanddreamanyway]

I Got You, Babe

Summary: You and Shawn are best friends, celebrating Halloween together. You want more, but does he? Oh, and there’s karaoke too. 

Word Count: 2.5k 

Authors Note: This is the first fic that I am physically letting people see. I figured it’s Halloween; why not scare the shit out of myself by posting something for the first time. So, read with caution. And HUGE shoutout to @harryandmolly for taking the time to read this and say nice things. 

“Hey, hurry up love!” Shawn yells up your condo’s steps. “We have places to be, people to see and booze to drink!”

Tonight was Halloween and you and Shawn were meeting the rest of your friends downtown Toronto for a night out. You and Shawn decided to go all out on costumes this year, dressing as Sonny and Cher.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you say racing down the stairs and into the living room where Shawn sits waiting. “This wig was not cooperating.” You zip up your white gogo boots and finish off your look. You give Shawn a quick twirl. The fringes on your sleeveless white and gold dress flare out as you spin, but your long black wig stays perfectly in place. “So, what do you think?”

Shawn lets out a whistle. “Damn, you look hot,” Shawn states throwing you a wink.

You feel your cheeks heat up, and your heart beat rises a bit. Shawn and you have been friends since you were eight years old. You have been through it all with each other. Braces, relationships, breakups, his superstardom, you starting your own business;  you’ve done it all, together.

But recently, things have been different. You used to be content watching his hands play piano for hours. Now, you wanted to feel them trace patterns on your back. You wanted to hear his voice, normally used to serenade millions of fans, singing in the shower after gentle morning sex. You wanted to run your hands through his hair, not in the way you used to comb through it trying to braid when you were little, but the way you would do as you pulled in him close for a passionate kiss.

You wanted every part of him. But, you couldn’t have him. He was your best friend, and regardless of how strong your feelings for him were, you never wanted to lose him as a friend. So, over these past few months, as your feelings grew more intense, so did your need to push them down, and never let Shawn know.

“You don’t look half bad yourself Mendes. Even with that mustache.” Shawn had on beige bell-bottoms and a white and gold patterned shirt tucked in. You couldn’t take your eyes off the deep v cut into his shirt as he tossed on his beige suit jacket. His long curls were falling everywhere, and a fake mustache adorned his upper lip. He tugs on his jacket, and does a quick spin.

“Let’s hit it.” You roll your eyes, Shawn grabs his keys, and you head for his jeep.

The bar is crowded, but fortunately Shawn is quick to find our friends. He greets Brian and Mike while you pull Abbey, Mike’s girlfriend, into a hug.

“Abbey, you look amazing!,” you exclaiming while admiring her Lois costume. Glancing over you find Mike in a Clark Kent get-up and chuckle a little to yourself. “Mike really pulls it off.”

Abbey laughs. “Tell me about it. But you - look at you two,” she gestures between you and Shawn. “You look hot as hell and Shawn, Shawn is about the only boy I know who can look good in beige bell bottoms.”

“I know. Isn’t it annoying?”

You both laugh loudly, grabbing the boys attention.

“What’s so funny?” Shawn asks as he throws his arm around your shoulder.

You blush at the closeness and take a deep breath to steady yourself. You decide that if Shawn was going to get close, you were going to take advantage of it. You reach for the hand he has slung over your shoulders and intertwine your fingers with his. Looking up at him you catch his eyes and he smiles. That smile could light the whole world, you think.

“I was just laughing because we have been here ten minutes, and somehow you haven’t gotten me a drink yet,” you say with a wink.

Shawn unwraps his arm from your shoulders and extends it out, keeping your fingers together. “Oh I am so sorry!” His voice is laced with sarcasm, as he pulls you back into him. “I’ll be right back,” he says through his laughter.

Shawn releases your hand and disappears into the crowd and the other boys follow. Your head follows him, straining your neck until you can’t see any part of his gorgeous stature any longer. You turn back towards Abbey who’s staring at you through a side-eye, a sly grin plastered across her face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“...you like Shawn!”

You open your mouth to protest, but quickly close it.  Denying it to Abbey wasn’t worth it; she knew you too well. You twirled at your wig, eyes trained on the floor. “Please don’t say anything. I don’t - we just,” you let out a long sigh. “I just don’t want it to ruin everything. He’s my best friend.”

Abbey reaches out and squeezes your hand. “I won’t say anything. But, you should. I would bet my life he feels the same way.”

I shake my head, fingers still twisted in my wig. “He doesn’t.”

She grabs my fingers from my wig, shaking both my hands a little. “Talk to him. You’ll never know unless you talk to him.”

You nod and she pulls you in for a hug just as the boys appear, drinks in hand. Shawn raises his eyebrows, as if to ask if you were okay. You nod, pulling away from Abbey and taking your drink.

“God, who decided karaoke on Halloween night would be a good idea? They should be fired,” Brian states as we listen to a couple drunkenly mumble through The Monster Mash complete with terrible zombie- like dance moves. We all nod and agree through laughter.

“I don’t know. I kind of like it,” Shawn pipes up, taking a swig of his beer.

We all stare blankly at him.

“Um, okay I guess it wouldn’t be a terrible idea if any of these people could remotely sing!” You take another sip of your drink.

Shawn laughs and leans close to your face. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I signed us up then!” He bops his finger on my nose.

As if it was planned, the DJ’s voice comes over the speaker. “Next Up: Shawn and his surprise guest.Singing “I Got You Babe.”

Your friends hoot and holler as Shawn pulls you towards the stage, but you plant your feet firmly on the ground.

“Shawn no. No, no no.”

He giggles, continuing to pull you to the stage, and you give up resisting. It’s no use anyway. If you didn’t give in, he’d probably just pick you up and carry you on stage. Not that you would object to that, but you’re not trying to make a scene. You reach the stage and he helps you up the stairs and passes you a microphone.

You step close to his face, “I cannot do this. I can not sing in front of all of these people. Especially not with you! You fucking sing for a living!”

Shawn lifts his free hand to your face and strokes your cheek with his thumb. “Yes, you can.”

“Shawn, I- “

“Hey,” he slides his hand down your arm grabbing your free hand giving it a squeeze. “I got you babe.” The music begins and a grin forms on his face. I can’t help but giggle at his corny joke. You smile and roll your eyes at him, and he lets out a chuckle. He nods at you in approval as you begin to sing, and suddenly your nerves are gone. As long as you’re with him, it feels like no one else is in the room.

They say we’re young and we don’t know. We won’t find out until we grow.

Well I don’t know if all that’s true, ‘cause you got me and baby I got you.

The minute the first words leave Shawn’s mouth the entire bar erupts with cheers, everyone to get a free concert from Shawn in any way they can take it. As the song continues, you and Shawn sway to the rhythm, dancing around the stage in a way that almost looks rehearsed.

So let them say your hair’s too long ‘cause I don’t care with you I can’t go wrong

Babe put your little hand in mine, ‘cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb

Shawn extends his hand out and you place your hand in his linking your fingers together. He extends his arm out and spins you back into his waist. As your swaying he brings his microphone down and leans in close to your face. You move your microphone between each of you, and your voices fill the air in a unified sound, as you gaze into each other eyes.

I got you to hold my hand. I got you to understand. I got you to walk with me

I got you to talk with me. I got you to kiss goodnight. I got you hold me tight

He spins you back out and twirls you around and the crowd grows louder. You skip around him and Shawn turns slowly as he watches you. The end of the song is drawing near and he grabs your hand pulling you in to face each other.

I got you, babe

You lower the microphone you had both been singing into and you and Shawn both erupt into laughter. The bar is going nuts, but right now your only focus is the beautiful boy in front of you. He pulls you in for a hug and gives you a kiss on the forehead, before grabbing your hand and leading you off the stage.

Your heart is still racing when you get back to Brian, Mike, and Abbey. They greet you with cheers and laughter, and high-fives all around. But, even through the high-fives, you and Shawn keep your hands intertwined.

A couple more hours, and a few more rounds pass, for everyone except Shawn, before he asks if you’re ready to go. You nod quickly. You love spending time with all of your friends, but after tonight, you’re anxious to get home and talk to Shawn. You give the boys quick hugs, and throw your arms around Abbey. Before you pull away she whispers, “tell him.” You pull away giving her a knowing look and nod before exiting the bar with Shawn, arm in arm.

You stare out at the Toronto skyline while Shawn drives through the city. “You’re staying at mine right?” his voice cuts through the air that was filled only with Bruno Major playing in the background.

“If that’s okay with you.”

He gives me a soft smile, and reaches for my hand. “That’s always okay with me.”

Walking into Shawn’s condo, he ditches his mustache immediately, and you both head to his room. You discard your wig and shoes as Shawn throws a shirt and some sweats at you. It’s a routine you’ve done a million times before but it feels different this time; heavier, more permanent.

You head to his bathroom to change, taking off your make-up and throwing your hair up in a messy bun. When you come out Shawn is gone. You walk down the stairs and find him sitting on the kitchen counter, shirtless, black sweats hanging low on his hips, eating leftover mac ‘n cheese.

You step between his legs, and he spreads them a bit for you to fit comfortably. You open your mouth to ask for a bite, and Shawn takes the hint, shoving a fork full of noodles into your mouth.

“Still really good,” you say.

Shawn nods in agreeance.

“Can I ask you something?”

He nods his head, still focused on the food before him.

“We’re always gonna be best friends right? No matter what happens?”

Shawn sets his bowl down looking up. His brows are furrowed and he’s biting his lip. “Yeah, sweetie, of course. What’s up?” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“I just, I have to tell you something, but I don’t want it to ruin our friendship.” Your eyes are  trained on the ground, as you run a finger across his collar bone.

Shawn captures your hand with his. “Nothing could ruin that. Believe me.”

You nod and take a deep breath. You look up at him through your eyelashes and for a second you’re distracted by the chocolate hues staring back at you.

“I like you Shawn,” you blurt out. “I like you a lot, like more than a friend, wayyy more than a friend. And, I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I had to tell you. I ha-”

Shawn’s lips crash against yours, and your eyes go wide. But before you can even think about it, your eyes are closed and you’re kissing him back. It’s gentle, but it’s filled with longing and love. Your hands find the nape of his neck, and you run your fingers through his hair. He gasps a little into your mouth as his hand comes up to stroke your cheek, while the other pulls you in closer from behind your waist.

You suck on his bottom lip and you’re pretty positive you hear a little moan escape his lips. His tongue traces your lip and you open your mouth slightly letting him in. His hands slide under the loose shirt hanging off your back, and he links his hands together behind your back pulling you in even closer. He releases your lips, before quickly pulling you in for one more peck. You let out a small giggle, and you pull apart, foreheads resting on each other’s.

“I really, really like you too,” Shawn says, his nails drawing against your back.

You don’t say anything. You don’t need to. You and Shawn have never really needed words to communicate. You’re together now, something you’ve both wanted for a long time, and not much needed to be said about it. At least, not in this very moment.

A comfortable silence settles around you, and Shawn presses his lips to your hair before picking up his mac ‘n cheese again. You let out a laugh, and ask for another bite.

Sliding the fork in your mouth, Shawn laughs at you smiling through your chewing. He hops off the counter, “come on, let’s go to bed beautiful.”

You grab his hand as he leads you up the stairs and into his bedroom. You immediately flop onto the mattress, tiredness taking over your body, as  Shawn shuts the lights off. He crawls into bed, sliding behind you and wrapping an arm around your waist pulling you in closer. You can feel the heat radiating off his bare chest as you lean back into him.

He hums sweet melodies into your ear, as his fingers trace patterns onto your hip bones. Running your hands up and down his strong arm a smile grows on your face and you press your lips to his shoulder. You can feel your heart swell in your chest as you think about how much you adore the boy behind you. You feel the hair on your neck rise as a laugh escapes his lips, air hitting your skin.

“What’s so funny mister?”

“Nothing. It’s just - I finally got you..babe.”

[cvenir]

here i am to introduce EIGHT characters that i actually thought i had already introduced lmao set me on fire !! but yay, take a look under the cut! ofc eventually proper bios will hit my pages and their tasks will expand much more on my children! as always, pinterests and songs are linked if u wanna go a lil deeper

just kidding i drafted that when i was aCTUALLY gonna do 8 but thankfully tea says she won’t accept me until i post 2 intros so yOU SHALL RECEIVE 2 RN and 8 later <33333 gotta keep y’all on your toes heh also i wrote niall’s in my journal on the plane so like... it’s not great (literally just bullets of sentence fragments) but wtvr that’s what bios are for amirite

NIALL O'DONOGHUE looks an awful lot like TARON EGERTON. HE is TWENTY-EIGHT and while they're ASTUTE, they have a tendency to get pretty ARDUOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE by KYLE (ok his pinterest is incredibly unfinished look away)

v conflicting mix of soft and hard

king of suppressing his lowkey intense feelings

kinda awkward around others due to the fact that he spent his entire life reading, writing, and studying –– he rarely interacted with other people as a kid and this mostly continued into his adult life

sweet soft boi has a double masters in medieval and renaissance studies and french and romance philology; he’s working on his phd rn while interviewing to become an assistant professor at kola university

grew up w a single mom (never knew dad) and had no siblings so his childhood was even lonelier :////

so like mad libs = his bff :’(

well mad libs and the shoulder flashlight he invented for late night reading (shoutout to amy santiago)

v soft and passionate heart

loves intellectual discussions like my boi has v strong gemini/virgo/mercury influences –– and a libra (or taurus i haven’t decided yet) venus so waTCH OUT

takes friendship v seriously (love u grant <333 @mcnuggcts )

buttt he can be a giant asshole sorry i don’t make the rules

v organized and particular

and scared of getting close to people bc he’s so used to being alone ugh my son!!

but once you get in there you’ll see he’s a good guy like rlly is he just has a bad temper sometimes and can barely express any emotion but anger half the time :///

ISLA VARGA looks an awful lot like ALEXIS REN. SHE is TWENTY-TWO and while they're SAGACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty MACABRE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COOL GIRL by TOVE LO. 

so i’ve played isla before n i’m v sorry to do this but i feel hella lazy so i’m sORRY but here comes a fucking huge wall of text don’t look at me and don’t feel like u have to read it ://// all the triggers i tagged apply to her; she’s p dark so seriously do not read it if you think she will make you uncomfortable!!

to preface, isla is like the embodiment of all of the seven deadly sins, and i molded her a lot after amy dunne (scary, i know) and april ludgate (mostly amy tho april is just deadpan like she is –– when she’s being herself, that is), as she is an incredible pococurante yet perfectionist who borders on sociopathy

soooo this will make sense later but her real name is actually brigid (father’s surname idk) which she now uses as her middle name

so isla’s dad is a fucking rockstar !!! badass right. she’s half-siblings with hadley ( @ofadorations ) and colby ( @shtbgs ) but she actually never met her mom, something she’s not too pressed about

bc she was cute as a button, family friends decided to get her into the entertainment business as a child star almost as soon as she could walk –– she did it all, acted, modeled, danced, sang, she was literally hollywood’s little starlet and she hated every minute of it. the entertainment business loved who they created, but that girl was never her and it weighed deeply on her psyche.

when she was twelve, she decided to fake her own disappearance because she was fed up with everything –– she cut her hair to her ears, dyed it brown (and has continued to do so ever since) and sneaked her way to nyc hoping no one would recognize her

well someone did, and they happened to be a member of ruthless and organized mobs of the city –– in return for keeping her concealed, she pledged her devotion and became one of their most skilled and lethal honeytraps in the business (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE BC THEY MADE HER START YOUNG I AM SO SORRY FOR WRITING THIS IT JUST PLAYS HEAVILY INTO HER CHARACTER)

along the way, members inevitably died –– people she was sworn to care for –– many times before her eyes as well, which only lead her to realize she enjoyed witnessing all sorts of death, even those of people she was supposed to “love”. emotion was almost nonexistent in isla’s childhood, a trait that bled into her character development.

she began to idolize the gang and its power, something she now craved. still, isla was doing a great job of portraying herself to those around her as a rosy, meek, baby-doll, when in actuality she was a child full of hate who would soon blossom into a young adult of the same tone. she became even more obsessed with death, fantasizing about it as if her unusual thoughts would make her less afraid when it came for her. 

eventually, as she grew older, she was accepted into the higher ranks of the mob; this couldn’t have made isla more content. the macabre girl was honored that someone else noticed her genius, the way she could predict things, assess situations, manipulate people to do her bidding. it was only right that she was initiated into a society that praised her for such harshness

but, as all things do, her time in the gang ended after ten years and isla did what she does best: disappeared. she’s relocated back close to home, kola california, and it’s only a matter of time before people and the industry realize just who she is

if she’s acting like her true self, she behaves like a negative, eldritch layabout who likes to watch others suffer (sounds extreme, i know). however, she rarely lets anyone see the real her, and instead accepts various facades in a big game –– the darkness is truly her personality, she’s not faking her cold demeanor. this image enables her to mask her true potential and the fact that she is unflaggingly loyal and cares about those she’s close to.

if i had to give her a label, it would probably be the pococurante (which is defined as: an indifferent person. possibly they’re bored, jaded or even been hurt. either way, they tend not to get attached to things and don’t show much enthusiasm, whether that’s on the outside or the inside, too)

on the other hand, she could be accurately summed up as an arcane, as she’s an enigmatic mystery and she prides herself on being a puzzle that several people have failed to solve. there are many sides to her personality; in some aspects, she’s very much an aesthete considering she spends a great deal of her time taking putting together outfits, so she has a very defined fashion sense and typically dresses like a princess half the time, which is very ironic considering her dark personality. she truly is so GLAMOROUS (and this is why i love alexis for her) and she works that mean girl, hard soul aesthetic while serving looks and also able to come across as incredibly sweet, which is perfect for her multiple personas. she’s a stunner, with both her appearance and personality; as much as she is indifferent and would prefer to fly under the radar, wherever she goes people always want to ask questions, making her into this intangible concept that everyone wants to define.

people will recognize parts of her as if they’ve seen here in another life, and because of her ostentatious, puzzling, and spellbinding personality, she’s unforgettable. on the other hand, she’s also something of a virago, due to the fact that she can be incredibly feisty when angered; but it takes quite a lot to actually set off her fuse, as she’s good at controlling which emotions she shares. for the most part, she is incredibly blasé and even-tempered. additionally, she’s is a bit of a picaro because her primary aim with her life at this point is to be independent and liberated from any and all attachments to other people. mostly, though, she’s is nothing more than a girl who’s afraid; of what, she still can’t decide.

all in all, she’s so much of everything that she isn’t quite certain of her own identity. her character is one shrouded in secrets and shadows yet alluring and sensual. but, lbr, most of all she’s just deadass terrifying. one of her defining characteristics is her desire to make things happen for her through her own abilities and determination. obstinate as all get out, she doesn’t like to own up to making mistakes so she tries to prove that she’s almost invincible to them bc she doesn’t wanna let anyone see her vulnerable, or she doesn’t want to let someone down - this refers only to those that she’s actually close to. due to her apathetic nature, all she really wants to do is let most people down – people she finds boring and useless – and have some fun because of it. however, when it comes to people she truly has allowed herself to care about, her deepest desire is for their happiness because they must be pretty damn special for making her give a shit.

still, because of her evasive tendencies, she almost always does ruin things for herself and for others, even when she actually cares. she’s like a double-edged sword; when she finds something worthwhile, she sees so much beauty and potential in it, but she’s got a midas touch. whenever she wants to obtain it or pursue it, her involvement makes everything fall to ashes, and she is afraid of her own influence. despite her tendency to run away, once she latches on and decides to be truly loyal, she’ll be devoted in such an extent that she would undoubtedly kill for them.

she can be a loudmouth whenever she actually decides to speak, constantly fabricating outlandish stories and even going off like a deranged person, but beneath her caustic and frightening exterior, isla is rather pensive. on the occasion that she chooses to offer legitimate advice, it’s usually very elaborate and composed. still, she doesn’t want people to know about capable she is, or how intelligent she can be, so she hides her rare brilliance with a tough exterior and stoic personality.

idk if you can tell but i like diving into the specifics of my character like their star signs and stuff so i searched an amy dunne mbti and tweaked it bc it really helped describe her even further! she’s a intj !

introverted intuition (ni): isla sees everything around her in a world of symbols, of metaphors, and of potential. her narration will continually be littered with predictions, with ideas about how things are going to be and what will result from this or that. despite her brashness that some may assume is impulsivity, she is a planner, anticipating new “problems” and seeking to rectify them with her own twisted brand of justice. she tries to work everything into her overall system of understanding, of her big ideas about how the world works, including her take on her various false identities she possesses for her previous job as an escort but also to mess with the minds of others around her. she’s always disappointed by how the real world is never as good as the way she imagined it; she is perfect and nothing else can catch up with her expectations.

extroverted feeling (fe): despite her aloofness, and rather lack of any sort of emotional bearing, empathy, or any sort of true feeling, isla is conscious of how others’ perceive her, of the image she’s created, and of how key that social perception is to her success, even if it’s just in her own imagination. she restrains her real opinions in order to adapt to her environment, as she’s somewhat of a chameleon, only a few have had a chance to catch the true witch beneath the crown. she’s the mistress of change, easily altering her identities in order to better fit in with new people, should the situation require it. she’s easily devastated when she reveals her real personality to others, as in the past, some that she’s left truly see her have refused to accept her twisted true-self. even though she is wholesomely selfish and self-seeking, isla is very people-focused, and applies most of her intellect and analysis onto general people-based functions, that may she can have the confidence that she has clearly manipulated and analyzed every aspect of her environment, as she needs this to feel in control.

introverted thinking (ti): as mentioned, isla is highly analytical, always trying to see the why of a scenario, what’s behind human behavior, which turns her attention to psychology and manifests in her flair for anticipating the thoughts and actions of those around her; she is so obsessed with understanding why people tick that she looks past her own slighted judgment, as she herself could easily qualify as a sociopath/psychopath. she’s always trying to fit in any new experience, or piece of information, into her pre-established system of facts, and as such is rarely ever surprised. despite her apathy and lack of care for her life or how it progresses, she’s highly organized and loves to make checklists, arrangements for the future, and methodically ticks of her obligations, one by one. while her emotions and feelings are significantly suppressed, and even nonexistent, she makes up for that human trait with a very powerful mind, one that is quick to learn and adept with languages, memorization, and logic. however, she doesn’t want anyone to know just how brilliant and quick she is, as it’s her greatest asset, thus explaining why she chose not to be a member on the intellectual team.

extroverted sensing (se): isla tends to respond her physical environment with fierce analysis, as expressed in her intellectual capabilities. she’s almost incapable of living in the moment, contrary to how people suspect she is, considering she portrays herself as impulsive and cunningly excitable. in reality, though, even when she’s crossed off everything on her checklist, she’s almost incapable of relaxing, or enjoying the world around her, as she doesn’t find things that other people find beautiful. she struggles the most with the physical side of her plans, even though she is a very physical individual. she is very open with her body and indulges with the lusts of the flesh, as she sensuality is at the same level as her wickedness. along with this, isla craves for the environment that houses her figure to be pleasant and organized, and can’t stand when things are out of order.

[shirlleycoyle]

Hackers Dissect ‘Mr. Robot’ Season 4 Episode 8: ‘Request Timeout’

Episode 8 of Mr. Robot’s final season was intense. We discussed zip ties, phone restoring, location trackers, mixers, Elliot’s sloppy Python script, and the final hack [SPOILERS, obvs]. (The chat transcript has been edited for brevity, clarity, and chronology.)

This week’s team of experts includes:

Jen Helsby: SecureDrop lead developer at Freedom of the Press Foundation.

Jason Hernandez: Solutions Architect for Bishop Fox, an offensive security firm. He also does research into surveillance technology and has presented work on aerial surveillance.

Harlo Holmes: Director of Digital Security at Freedom of the Press Foundation.

Trammell Hudson: a security researcher who likes to take things apart.

Micah Lee: a technologist with a focus on operational security, source protection, privacy and cryptography, as well as Director of Information Security at The Intercept.

Yael Grauer (moderator): an investigative tech reporter covering online privacy and security, digital freedom, mass surveillance and hacking.

***

Yael: I want to start out by saying that I agree Momofuku is good.

Micah: In the very first scene, in 1995, when young Elliot is playing hide-and-seek and hiding something in the Queens Museum, I thought it was cool that he was running past all this retro computer equipment from 1995.

Trammell: Getting to the Queens Museum from 2nd avenue is a long haul on the F to the 7. And isn't Krista's place somewhere in upper Manhattan?

Yael: During the cab ride, I couldn't believe they were still showing videos of Tyrell after he's dead. But I guess I can't say I'm surprised if they put a lot of money into producing it. I mean, it IS Evil Corp. Also, shoutout to Krista. She got KIDNAPPED and KILLED someone and was still counseling Elliot after all that. Talk about emotional labor. (Or don't, lol, Twitter is a mess.)

Micah: Yeah, Krista is quite the badass. I also liked that when they got to the police station and Elliot was like, "I can't go in there with you," she was totally fine with it.

Dom and Darlene’s Kidnapping

Yael: So the Darlene/Dom kidnapping scene reminded me of a conversation we had in a previous chat about duress, and how you can program stuff to lock you out, but if someone's gonna start offing people, maybe you don't want to. Also, how do you get out of zip ties?

Harlo: About a week ago, I did this kidnapping simulation, which was actually pretty harrowing. Before you go into the scenario, they try to prepare you by teaching you how to get out of zip ties, handcuffs, and duct tape. Brief detour: zip ties are fun. While you can definitely just bust them by bringing them down with enough force onto your hip bone, more substantial ones require a long enough shoelace, which you loop through the cuffs, tether to your feet, then flop over and pedal like you're on a recumbent bike to slice through the plastic. Super fun. Great parlor trick. But when I did the sim, it was tricky to feel confident and safe enough—and unsurveilled enough—to attempt the escape, even if you knew how to do it.

Yael: Timing is really important. I think Dom had the sustained training and probably experience to really use it to her advantage, in a way civilians probably don't.

Harlo: Also, kidnapping sims that you do after one day of training DO NOT ever bring in the "cuntstick" with a baggie full of different torture knives. That would absolutely dampen your spirit as far as escape is concerned.

Micah: I just wanna say that Dom is a fucking badass.

Harlo: Yeah, she fucking nailed it.

Micah: Pulling the knife out of your chest and stabbing someone else with it, then shooting your captors.

Yael: That was awesome. It was cool that Dom had a plan, too. I was pretty disappointed that she didn't before. And now the license plate thing makes sense whereas before I was like, of course Dark Army is surveilling you; they own you.

Harlo: I have a nitpick. In the scene where Janice calls her bang-bang-bois over Signal. Didn't Signal at the time NOT play the regular phone ringing tone? Instead, it was this kinda cool radar sound? It used to have this amazing submarine radar sound. Also, Dom and Irish bastard are not using Signal. They were using regular-ass phone. But whatevs. I feel like a fucking walking ad for Signal nowadays. I must be absolutely insufferable.

Yael: I heard something recently about how Signal wasn't secure for people in China who use an Android keyboard.

Harlo: It's because sometimes your keyboard is a snitch. It's not a Signal problem per se, but by default, you might find yourself typing secrets into Signal that are captured by your keyboard, and then, anything goes.

Yael: Well, maybe Signal shouldn't allow external keyboards, or not have them on by default, hmm…

Harlo: In settings: there is "incognito keyboard," and if that's in your threat model, turn it on.

Yael: Do you think Darlene giving up her brother's location was the right call? Or his phone's location? She's basically trading his life for (maybe) saving Dom's family members' lives.

Micah: I don't know… it's kind of impossible to decide between who should get murdered and who shouldn't.

Jen: Mr. Robot's version of the trolley problem. I mean, a bunch of kids were gonna get killed. Sad, but a reasonable call.

Yael: Janice could just kill them anyway, though. It was hard to tell whether Dom thought Janice was gonna kill her family or knew they'd have escaped. But I can see why Darlene did it. I was surprised she didn't do it after Dom got stabbed. I want to know whether it's advisable to tell your armed kidnapper to eat shit, then die.

Micah: She gets my respect for it.

Yael: I've had a crush on Darlene since Season 1. Even if she is a murderer.

Jason: I think it's hard to consider Janice a credible person to negotiate with. She seems unreliable… why would Darlene expect to survive, even if she does everything Janice wants?

Yael: Yeah, that's why I wasn't sure it was a good call.

Micah: Yeah, she's terrifying because she's an unreliable psychopath.

Harlo: There are different classifications of kidnappings. What we saw on Mr. Robot was NOT the most prevalent one, which is just about squeezing money out of someone whose family/loved ones might have it.

Phone Restore

Micah: I think when Darlene wiped her phone, she actually wiped it for good and didn't have a way to recover the data again.

Trammel: The secure element or TrustZone stores a key that is inaccessible to the user. If it gets cleared, then the Flash memory is as good as erased. How did she recover it?

Micah: I don't think she could have restored it, not without taking a backup of the phone first. But when you take an Android backup, the Signal app doesn't back anything up, so she would have lost Elliot's location even if she did restore a backup. I think instead she just installed her hacked Signal client again, and got pinged from Elliot's phone again. That's the only way I can see that working.

Harlo: I don't even think that Darlene would need her Signal mod; Elliot's was modded only to ping with his latitude/longitude periodically. So all Darlene needs is Signal.

Micah: True. Her hacked Signal client must not care about safety numbers—something we talked about last week. Elliot's Signal client could decide to not trust Darlene's number again if her safety numbers changed, but it looks like that wasn't the case.

Harlo: Yeah, I guess there was no safety measure like, "do not ping if safety number has changed" baked in; too bad!

Yael: Darlene got sloppy! Or maybe it was intentional, in case she had to ditch her phone.

Micah: It takes a lot of trust to put an app that tracks your location on your phone.

Yael: She grabbed Elliot's phone from his hand and put it on for him.

Harlo: Signal wasn't available as a plain old APK then… unless you built it from the source code. But it didn't look like Darlene had a computer with her.

Micah: She had a shortened URL to download her modified APK. Also, it's possible she just logged into a Google account and downloaded from the Play store.

Harlo: Ah, then that would be most expeditious. What I'm curious about is how she restored it. Like, if you need to use the Play store, you need a Gmail account. Or F-droid.

Location Tracking

Yael: I thought Janice had a good point when she said, "You didn't give me your brother's location; you gave me his phone's location." A lot of drone operators should learn the difference.

They seemed like they were outside of Krista’s house. How good is this geolocation tracking? Is it just a general location based on the device’s proximity to cell phone towers, or can it locate the exact floor in the exact apartment?

Jason: Geolocation on phones is flaky, especially if you're in an "urban canyon" like NYC where you don't have good line of sight to satellites. Phones also use Wi-Fi data and cell tower data to identify where they are, but it's not perfect.

Yael: Companies like Skyhook Wireless can provide very specific location data based on hotspot IP addresses. They have these huge databases that correlate hotspot locations with the IP addresses. They use a combination of direct hotspot scanning and the cooperation of app “partners” who pass along hotspot IP data from users as they connect. But I dunno if Darlene would subscribe to Skyhook; it's hella expensive.

Jason: Those location databases aren't super reliable. They'll give you a latitude and longitude that is precise but not necessarily accurate.

Micah: Android has two location permissions, "coarse" and "fine." I believe "coarse" location works without GPS and instead relies on Wi-Fi access points the phone can see, combined with Google's massive database of Wi-Fi access points it knows about, and "fine" uses GPS. I think she would use the phone's built-in location services.

Yael: How fine is fine?

Micah: I guess it depends on where you are, but if you take out your phone, open your maps app, and click the button to zoom in to where you are—that's how fine.

Jen: Kashmir Hill has done some nice reporting on some of the unfortunate situations that arise due to errors in those geo-IP location databases.

Yael: I was thinking about this recently with Protonmail. It has this new privacy feature that's supposed to remind your phone to wipe local data if you enter a certain area. But it looks like it would only work if you were right in the center of the country, and it seems like it’s hard to change the radius precisely.

Elliot’s Hack

Harlo: Elliot's stressed. Print twice?

` “print out

Jen: Yeah, he had some syntax errors in that script. SyntaxError on line 16 (first line in the coinCoins() function).

Trammell: The main call is cleanCoins(), but his cleaning function that passes them through the tumbler is named coinsCoins. And since Python doesn't check that when it compiles code, it might cause a runtime error. Hopefully Elliot doesn’t lose all his coins, like when Sonic hits an enemy.

Harlo: I was totes gonna drag him for that, but I gotta check the tape again; perhaps cleanCoins is above the fold and we don't see it.

Trammell: Sonic collects rings, not coins. Please disregard my attempt at a nerd reference and deduct one from my score.

Image: USA

Micah: One of the print commands was Python 2. The other was Python 3.

Harlo: In 2016, he was probably not using Python 3?

Yael: Elliot has been through a lot. Or maybe there were different personalities typing.

Jen: Mr. Robot is Python 2, Elliot is Python 3.

Yael: What is little Elliot?

Jen: He's that programming language for kids.

Yael: I learned the little Python I do know from the Python for Kids book, by the way. "A resource for the rest of us"?

Micah: Also, why is he using both os.system() and subprocess.check_output()… to call curl? You can make HTTP requests directly from Python.

Jason: Yeah, he should be using requests.

Jen: TFW your TV show doesn’t get permission to use requests, so you gotta subprocess out to curl.

Harlo: lol, they can't afford the rights to show requests. Also!

Did y’all notice the autofill? _main_ (one underscore). Somebody's been writing some non-working code that they're hoping to deploy under duress… Also no pep 8, but hey, what are ya gonna do?

Micah: To be fair, he was in the middle of writing that script, and super stressed out, and clearly hasn't tried running it yet. So maybe we're not being fair. I have typos and broken stuff in my unfinished code all the time.

Jen: Yeah, we're just being annoying. It looks hackery enough for the show. We're just giving the readers of this article what they want: line by line code feedback. If I know anything about normal humans, they love Python programming.

Yael: I don’t think he’s slept in many episodes, either.

Jason: If he was doing real development, he'd have Stack Overflow up, and he'd be copy/pasting from it.

Harlo: Anyhoos, okay, we've got some curl with a cookie; and what are those other flags? Don't worry about SSL if it's not available? I forget…

[Python Image]

Yael: I just want Darlene to finish the hack because she "happens to be smart and good at things," as she said several seasons back. If this episode was Request Timeout, does that mean the next one is Conflict?

Oh, dumb question, but does Darlene actually need to find Elliot to finish his hack?

Micah: I'm not sure… I'm actually a little unclear on the details of the hack they're in the middle of doing, and how it works.

Trammell: Looks like the plan is to steal cryptocurrency and pass it through a tumbler to launder it.

Yael: Can we do an ELI5 about tumblers and mixers?

Jen: A coin mixer is a service you can move your coins through such that you can hopefully disassociate the coins with where they came from (which one would do if coins were illegally acquired). Like money laundering.

Trammell: The base64 doesn't decode to ASCII, unfortunately.

Image: USA

Harlo: What does it decode toooooooo? Shall I get out the CyberChef?

Yael: I don't understand how any of this works, tbh. Like, I know he's trying to steal crypto. CryptoCURRENCY.

Micah: This Python script that Elliot's writing isn't actually the full hack. It's not even exploiting anything. It appears to be laundering cryptocurrency. I think once they steal the money, this is how they're going to retrieve it without getting caught. But this script isn't actually stealing the money.

Jen: The other comment is valid. It looks like at some point he renamed a function during development and when the main() function runs, it'll crash with a NameError.

Micah: It looks like the final output of the script is a list of new wallet addresses that the money was ultimately sent to.

Jen: Presumably, he'd run this in test before moving millions of USD worth of coins through a mixer.

Hackers Dissect ‘Mr. Robot’ Season 4 Episode 8: ‘Request Timeout’ syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[beebuddyreviews-blog]

Title: The Melody You Never Heard // Author: bananasandboots (@anylessreal) // Rating: Explicit // Words: 30,014 // Oneshot AU // Published: 4/30/17

Official Summary: It's one last adventure. One last chance to be young and carefree. One final weekend before they take up their internships, their corporate positions, before they enter the real world, fresh out of university. Niall's his best mate. Liam's been there for him since they were lost, little freshmen, trying to find their ways through an overwhelming first year. Harry can't disappoint them, even if it means enduring four days with Louis. Louis, who he does share a history with, a history he's never told anyone about, not even Niall, a history he hasn't brought up in three years because it's stupid and embarrassing and confusing. Or, the one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

Blue’s Review:  Hi everyone - sorry I haven’t been posting lately. I’ve been super busy with teaching and grad school, but I am back with a vengeance and I am ready to gush about this fic, so grab a cuppa and dive into this review. Full review under the cut!

My Shit Summary: After spending an amazing night together stuck in Liam’s bathtub after a party, Harry leaves his number written on Louis arm in Sharpie expecting a call from the boy he had an instantaneous connection with. Much to Harry’s dismay, Louis never contacts him and over the next three years he is left to do his best to avoid Louis and Louis’ unexplained dislike for him at all costs. Despite his best efforts, his best mates, Liam and Niall, force Harry to come along on a camping trip that is supposed to be a “last hurrah” before they all graduate Uni and go on with their lives - the only issue is Louis has also been invited on said trip. Angst, miscommunication, and falling (literally and figuratively) ensue.

Triggers: Explicit sexual content and alcohol use

Review: Okay so I’m going to be upfront - I absolutely love this fic and it is now in my top five favorite Larry fics of all time. In order to make my thoughts a little more condensed and organized, I’m going to break down in categories of what I loved most about this work in hopes that 1. I can convey just how good this fic is and 2. So that I actually make sense as opposed to being a bumbling, gushing mess. Here goes:

Character Actions and Movements: One aspect that immediately I admired in this work was bananaandboots’ description of each character’s movements. It was so incredibly well-thought out and just so detailed. The way they were able to cause me to perfectly visualize how each person was moving and interacting with their environment was amazing. I feel like this is something that is often overlooked by writers and readers alike and I just want to give a huge shoutout to bananasandboots for being able to effectively allow me to visualize their fic while reading it. I felt so immersed in this world that bananasandboots had created and their depictions of character movements was such a large factor in this.

Portrayal of Characters: I’ve mentioned before that I am very, very picky when it comes to how writers portray Harry and Louis. I prefer to read fics that actually remind me of their unique personalities. Fortunately, this fic is a prime example of this. The motives behind Harry and Louis were just so fitting. The things that they said and how they interacted really stood out to me. This allowed me to actually hear them in my head when I read their dialogue - nothing felt awkward or ill-fitting. The banter between Harry and Louis was so spot on and felt organic. Harry as this confused, slightly lovesick, and fiercely loyal guy felt right. Louis as this witty little shit who uses humor and anger to hide his true emotions felt right. There was nothing I would change about the way bananasandboots decided to write their versions of Harry and Louis. Also shoutout to their characterizations of Niall and Liam, because they were fantastic too. The “never have I ever” scene stands out as a moment in the fic where you can really see bananasandboots carefully crafted characterizations shine.

Balance Between Dialogue and Descriptions: Often when reading fic, I find that there are two types of writers: those who rely on overly lush descriptions and those who rely solely on dialogue to drive their fic. Bananasandboots is neither. This fic struck a perfect ground between giving me these heart wrenching, beautiful descriptions of the setting and Harry’s internal monologue and incredibly well-written dialogue. There were no points in the fic where I felt like I was skipping over needless descriptions or getting bored with repetitious dialogue. Everything in this piece felt necessary and worked towards driving the plot further.

Relatability: I think a factor for me that struck such a nerve for me about this work is just how relatable it was. Maybe it’s just me and what I am currently feeling, but god damn, so many points in this fic I felt myself stopping and just being in awe of how bananasandboots perfectly described a feeling I’ve had or a situation I’ve found myself in. There is something to be said about a writer that can write something that is universally relatable. There was a particular passage that really hit me hard that I wanted to share:

"It feels like that first night all over again, the two of them uninhibited from the alcohol, lying together in close quarters, getting to know each other in some of the most intimate ways. Harry should probably be worried, put on high alert by the sirens going off in his head, the annoying fluttering in his chest that only increases with every breath Louis manages to steal from him, but he can't help it. He's only human. He'll never learn from his mistakes."

Man, even now these lines just hit me - that last part just takes you back to that moment where you’re falling for someone you know you shouldn’t or who has hurt you, but you just can’t help it. I absolutely love this line and keep finding myself coming back to it. If you read this review ever bananasandboots, I just want to say thanks for this passage and it means a lot to me.

Mood: The last point I want to address about this fic is the overall mood and tone of it. For me, this is what absolutely makes or breaks a fic - does the mood of the writing actually fit the content? And hell yes it does in this fic. The setting of the woods, the lake, the canoe scene, all of it - it all just works together to fit bananasandboots storytelling. The choice to take this concept of miscommunication and put it into a camping trip is perfect. There’s just something about this fic, guys. It just fucking works.

Lastly, I was in a huge Larry fic slump where everything I was reading just wasn’t clicking for me and I just couldn’t get interested in anything, but I decided on a whim to read this fic and I am just so glad I did. I needed this fic and, boy, did it pull through.

Would I recommend this fic to Green? 100% I would recommend this to Green. It’s got angst, which my boo Green loves, but it also has a happy ending that is so satisfactory. The fic feels so complete and so full circle and I know Green would appreciate it.

Let me know if there are any questions/comments/concerns about this fic or my review. I’d love to talk with you about it :) Please, for the love of everything that is good in this world, go read this fic. I promise you will not regret it.

xx, Blue

[anideawhosetimehascome]

rant about music~

OH MY GOD this makes me feel so warm and fuzzy I can’t stop smiling. Thank you so much. I’m so grateful for this opportunity.

This is gonna be so messy just prepare yourself.

I have to say, right now, my favorite band is City and Colour. I’ve been saying that for awhile, maybe half a year or even a year, god it’s been a long year. I’ve bought two concert tickets to see him. I had to sell the first one (it was a really good seat, third row :(..) but hopefully I can see him with his band with my other ticket (general admission smh) and once more on a fully solo tour like the first ticket I bought.

One Direction comes next as always but each individual member of one direction is ranked differently… louis, harry, liam, and niall in terms of whose music I care most about. I know louis has only put out one collab so far but he’s my favorite,of course I’m most excited for his stuff.

AND I BOUGHT A TICKET TO SEE HARRY HOLY FUCK !!!! I GOT A SEAT IN SECTION 5 IN PHOENIX SO FUCKING CLOSE TO THE STAGE. I GOT SO LUCKY BECAUSE I WAS A COUPLE MINUTES LATE AND I GOT AN AMAZING SEAT. THE PIT IS IN FRONT OF ME AND SO IS 30 OTHER ROWS BUT THATS IT IM GOING TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM AND HEAR HIS BEAUTIFUL CROONING VOICE LIVE AFTER 5 LONG YEARS. I’m just trying to imagine doing the same with louis and my head is exploding. Shoutout to my mom for letting me use her debit card since I haven’t got any paychecks yet.

Protest the hero is an anomaly in my life, I really haven’t been into them in like over a year, but they remain top 3 because I can’t let them go. I love all of their albums (except I only listened to their most recent one once rip) but if I ever got to see them live I would know almost every song IF NOT every single one by heart and that’s an experience I haven’t gotten to have yet. Hopefully twice this year I’ll have that. Maybe I’ll look out for a protest the hero tour and see if I can swing a ticket.

After that it’s really hard to rank everything. I have my favorite albums that differ from favorite artists.

Alt-J is high on my list. They’ve put out some really good shit. I liked An Awesome Wave multitudes more than the other album. I’m hoping his most recent one kinda brings them back to that era.I wish I could travel to the U.K. to see Aquilo. Their album Silhouettes is the best fucking album EVER and yet they’re so small they can only tour their tiny home country. They need more recognition.The Shins are coming to a local venue only a couple hours away and it blows my mind because I fell in love with Wincing the Night Away but they have a plethora of other albums that I didn’t love and I wouldn’t feel right going to a concert where I only knew like 3 of the songs. I wish they did a Wincing the Night Away revival tour where they only sang songs from that album just to appease me lmao.Kendrick’s new album is such a mindfuck. That’s been on repeat the past few weeks. I need to listen to his other stuff too.Sweet Sexy Savage by Kehlani is the genre I’ve been really into lately. That sultry R&B pop is just SO delicious. It’s like nothing else I’ve ever heard before. Her voice is like brown sugar and butter. Everything she does with the instrumentals, her voice, and the backing track is just MIND BLOWING I love it so much.Of course The Weeknd has to come in here. I just saw him live a week ago. It was the best concert I’ve ever been to (the only other one was Taylor swift. She sounds good live, but I’m not a huge fan). STARBOY IS THE BEST ALBUM EVER SERIOUSLY. I was a bit disappointed he didn’t sing more tracks from Starboy because I didn’t know some of the ones from his older albums. Also perpetually disappointed that kendrick never showed up for sidewalks.

Old Crows/Young Cardinals by Alexisonfire has been very high on my list lately. Reminiscent of protest the hero for the reasons I like them, but their voices are COMPLETELY different. It always takes me awhile to get used to screaming and really rough jagged voices, but once I do, I’m either head over heels in love with them or I fucking hate them. Usually the former. If Dallas Green (city and colour) wasn’t involved in this band, I would have never touched them.

Spirit by Depeche Mode has also been a genre I’ve got into lately. I just kept seeing the same fucking google ad every time I opened the app “Spirit by Depeche Mode is out now!” why the FUCK google gave me that ad I don’t know, but it caused me to find one of my most treasured albums. It’s very politically charged which I LOVE. I see the message of each song loud and clear as a movie in my head and it makes me fall deeper in love with it each time.

Now I’ve forgotten everything else, so I’ll start going through albums alphabetically.

Arctic Monkeys is a band I really need to listen to more. I’ve only listened to A.M. once fully through and only stuck with a couple of the songs. I listened to Humbug and liked it a LOT more, so I have a feeling I’ll love their older stuff.

Ahhh how could I forget about CATFISH AND THE BOTTLEMEN. God I spent an hour on YouTube watching them play old versions of The Balcony the other day, it was the best live video I’ve ever watched. He sounded even better than on the album, and I was transported to those shows for that moment where he seemed to be playing in some seedy basement. I wanted to see them live last year for my birthday but didn’t get a ticket. Maybe I’ll be able to get one sometime soon. That’s a band I NEED to see live before I die. They are fucking amazing. Their songs are everything I love about bands.

I’ve listened to a bit of Two Door Cinema Club. I need to listen to more. It’s hard with Apple Music. As you can see I have so fucking much to listen to and it never ends. I think I like music… a lot more than most people. It’s weird to think about. But anyway. Sun, that’s a good song.

Space Oddity by Bowie makes me feel high. R.I.P.

Frank Ocean has been a recurring name lately. Chanel and Self Control are two gems of his.

Cold by Maroon 5 and Future is one of my guilty pleasure songs. I could listen to it for hours and it wouldn’t get old. I don’t even know why I find it so orgasmic.

Cake is one of those bands that wormed their way into my heart a long time ago and I don’t really know how or why and I haven’t listened to enough of their songs because they have too many albums and they’re all from the 90s and I’m so young yet I feel so old when I listen to them. It makes no sense and I love it.

The Dark Side of the Moon. Need I say more? Yes. Us and Them. Brain Damage. Eclipse.

I’m a fan of Blackbear’s new album digital druglord. Very different from what I usually listen to. I don’t always have a usually, but when I do, Blackbear’s not in it.

Message to Bears is the best study music. They’re what I put on when I need to have a quiet night with some undertones of depression and existential realization. Still one of my low key favorites that I always forget about.

FOUR saved the music industry.

I need to reiterate how perfect Protest the Hero is. Listen to Kezia. LISTEN TO IT.

Oh, every time I get the chance to rant about this I will. Little Hell by City and Colour is an album about going from Catholic to atheist, and each song is showing his progression in realizing that. Now this is just my headcanon, but with the first song being about “finding each other in the dark” sounding suspiciously like someone finding God and the last song being a blatant message on being raised religious but rejecting the “make believe” stories. I could theory craft on this album all day. It has seriously made me reconsider naming Sometimes, his first album ever, my favorite, and instead reclaiming Little Hell, City and Colour’s third studio album, as my new favorite. But since it’s just a theory and I have yet to confirm or deny anything, I’ll keep it at my second.

Listen… I know he’s a snake but Zayn’s album was actually really good. I literally haven’t touched it for a year but I really enjoyed it for a long time.

I like the Radiohead quote. I’m not like that at all but I can get into their music, like Nice Dream. Maybe because when I found that song I would have related to that quote. Music is so strange, man.

The Beach Boys, Coldplay, The Boxer Rebellion, Fun., Syd Matters, Breton, The National, Secret & Whisper, G-Eazy, and Bastille all get honorable mentions for being some of my favorites at one point in time.

I hate how into music I am. But I love it so fucking much. I remember in 2010 when I bought a Britney Spears song on the radio and I decided to listen to the mixtape my friend made me because I needed some new music. It changed my life forever because it opened me up to a whole new world that I had never heard before. I’m eternally grateful to her for introducing me to musical curiosity. I will never get over it and I don’t want to.

Despite what I’ve written, I’ve only just now realized how much music I have on my Apple Music library that I’ve literally added and never listened to. I need to work on that.