#these are references so thats why they look a little bland

[corruptcryptid]

Hi so I actually went into the water and forgot to post these pictures of characters from a DND campaign Im in. I probably will draw more Metalocalypse babes after I get done with a few commissions or at least in between them (sobbing profusely)

[jellyaibo]

breaking my silence...i fuckng hate this "genre" of object show gijinka and im tired of acting like it isnt . bland

(using ii gijinkas as my guinea pigs for this, considering i really ONLY see these kinds of gijinkas in the ii side of the osc)

they are just. all the same build, usually same hairstyles and fashion theres NOTHINGGG that differentiates one persons gijinka from another because thats how similar they look to me, also if i were to color these do u think it would make it more obvious who is who? (if u cant already tell who is who obvs. its tt, fan & pickle but ohhhh my god THERESS NO SAUCE)

this might just sound fucking insane on my part but also even though these gijinkas dont have natural skintones (obvs trying to match the objects) they completely lack any features that say they ARENT white (i mean like very eurocentric) finding one with afro hair is like looking for a needle in a haystack (im being so serious ive barely seen any . kind of diversity like that)

and not even just diversity in races too, because 99% of them are all tall and skinny they just completely lack any body diversity (once again, very eurocentric yk yk) and because of that they have. awful silhouettes (unless they have VERY defining features which is fucking rare, so unless you have a really unique design a lot of people probably can't tell who is who unless you either squint really hard or have them be colored in)

my point is . these gijinkas just dont look good like at all. (im not gonna kill anyone for making gijinkas like this btw but ill def squint at you rlly hard but thats just me) and i think people should try to go and experiment with more expressive and fun designs that can make these blokes rlly stand out more!!! (something as simple as just, giving them acne, making them shorter/taller than they actually are, wacky hair n cool disability aids etc. just fucking go nuts!!! diversity just. makes better designs imho)

i designed these kinda on the spot (im sorry pickle) and like. even if they might look a little bland imo they have way more personality than the designs above!!!!!!!!!!! its not hard lichurally all u need to do is get an idea n try it

also i didnt know where to put this but like. another example of why i think these gijinkas just fucking suck: i uhhhh made my loser gijinka into one

her joy? her happiness? her personality and transsexual swag? GONE. SUCKED AWAY FROM HER BEING. she is a HUSK

my final note(s) on this is like. just go experiment brah im sooo tired of seeing these ohh please im so exhausted...EVEN IF U ARENT CONFIDENT IN UR DESIGNING SKILLS . GOING AND TAKING THAT FIRST STEP IS GOOD please just go nuts ohhh u wanna go nuts so fucking bad . theres many many references for different bodies n details n shit AND U DONT EVEN HAVE TO LIKE. STUDY EVERYTHING TO BECOME "GOOD" at this . just . freaking go for it

and my final (final) note is uhmm very petty but idc but the artist that popularized this kind of object show gijinka isnt the best person so like. yeah that is one of my top reasons on why i dont like em LMAO

uhhh and yeah thats it thats pretty much all sorry for rambling im just a tired little biracial boy oohh im so tired heres a lollipop 🍭

[crusherthedoctor]

Tbh, the more I think about frontiers, the more it feels “artificial” it looks like a sonic game, and has elements people wanted, but it doesn’t feel natural. When I look at superstars, thats how I see sonic as a franchise. But when I look at frontiers, I get constant mixed feelings, especially with how it handled certain characters and story. I don’t know, but frontiers was probably a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Agreed.

It's not just the obvious qualities, like how it's piggybacking off of Breath of the Wild, or how various aspects of the level design are cobbled haphazardly in a way that detracts from the intended open world experience, or how bland everything is and how "Starfall Islands is meant to have its own aesthetic and style" doesn't work as an argument when there is no aesthetic and style for the environments, or how the writing feels a lot more Archie-esque, or how the voice actors sound less "I'm doing a low-key portrayal of these characters" and more "I'm genuinely depressed and bored IRL", or how The End is nowhere near as gripping as its manifestation of death schtick warrants, or how Tails says he's Wildly Inconsistent, or... everything to do with Eggman. Because even putting all that aside, the little things are frequently off as well.

Like cutscene pacing for example. There are so many moments with unnaturally drawn out pauses between characters during a conversation, and them just kind of fucking around and merely existing, the latter of which was something that the Pontaff games frequently got criticised for by fans. Then there's the specific way that references are often pulled off: they rarely feel natural and non-intrusive, and with how shoehorned they can get, you get the impression that they're desperately trying to convince you that they're totally Sonic fans to compensate for not actually knowing the games past the surface. Especially since half of them aren't even accurate references. Like shit, why not add an overdone Snapcube reference while you're at it, might as well given fans remember that more than they do the actual games at this point.

And I know I keep bringing this up, but I must stress: why is it that, nearly a year since the game originally came out, and despite all its popularity and acclaim, and fans taking any opportunity they can to boast about said acclaim ("It won an award!")... I can never find sincere praise for it that doesn't boil down to vague "They fixed it!" refrains, with maybe a side dish of Fuck Pontaff at most? Why am I more likely to find someone who can explain the ins and outs of why they like ShtH, ironically or unironically? Why am I more likely to find someone who can explain in helpful detail why they like Sonic Underground? Why are these diehard fans of Frontiers so reluctant to actually discuss the game, instead of repeating "It's the best because it is, please notice me Flynn senpai" over and over?

I'm sure they'd say that Frontiers' widespread adoration by the fandom shows they did something right. As if popularity automatically equates to quality. As if I can trust what a fandom that has grown to care more about portrayals that openly shit on the games has to say in order to convince me that I just don't get it, maaan.

[pieshopbarber]

so, I rewatched the 2007 movie and…

my god, it’s so bad. like I genuinely love it for the pure fact that it’s what introduced me to the story in the first place, but holy shit it sucks… like Jesus. and I’m not even talking about how bad the singing is, like it’s not great, but it’s not the worst, but there is so much to dislike about this film. (for reference I’m comparing it to the 1982 pro shoot and the 1979 original)

first off, i understand the gritty and dark aesthetic the film was going for, it’s burton obviously, but they decided the only reason to go about this was to sap all the fun out of it? Like what? One of the best things about the original musical is how darkly comedic it is at times, but the film just saps it all away and it’s no fun. Like one of the funniest scenes of the musical is the whole Pirelli scene, it’s absolutely hilarious, yet somehow, it’s just so bland in the movie. Pirelli is somehow too much and not enough and it sucks. Cutting out the whole back and forth between Todd and Lovett and the crowd during that scene just makes it feel lifeless. The same thing with removing the chair sequence and the ‘GOD THATS GOOD!’s from god that’s good, just makes everything so bland. this grittiness also makes some really awful costume choices, like why the hell is Sweeney wearing a leather jacket in the beginning, where the hell did that come from?? What the hell is Turpin and the Beadle’s costumes? They’re supposed to be rich, fancy snobs, why do they look like their outfits are from a thrift store? Why is everything so poor looking?

also the acting… uggh. First off, Depp and carter are far too young to be Todd and Lovett, and I feel like they’re too conveniently attractive, but also they are just lifeless. For instance, Hearn’s visceral, terrified or Cariou’s heartbroken reaction to discovering that he killed Lucy gets me every freaking time. Compare that to depp just whispering ‘no’ …. Like what the fuck? Excuse me?

also I am still deeply upset by many of the cut stuff, mainly Lucy’s introduction, because her popping out of nowhere during the Johanna intro feels too sudden, and we also miss out on the whole “don’t I know you mister” in the beginning, making when she repeats it before she dies feel less impactful. We also loose the whole her trying to solicit sex, which because her last sane memory was her getting raped, making it that much sadder, which makes her feel less fleshed out. also the amount of shit they cut around Johanna… Jesus Christ. They could have cut the whole Johanna and Anthony plot and it could have been the same. In the original musical, johanna is super capable, she knows what she wants and does stuff to get it. In the film she’s reduced to no more than a mute damsel in destress. Also the movie making it so todd just spares her instead of her running away, infuriates me to no extent. Also we don’t get a resolution for the Antony and Johanna saga. also why did they change the ending so that Toby wasn’t insane? Like you can’t tell me he ain’t a little fucked up from that.

I think the only good thing in my opinion is Allan Rickman as judge Turpin, he slays everything he does (Also the whole ‘you gandered!!!’ Thing is funny as hell.)

I’m exhausted right now, and this movie makes me so angry.

[betweendoctorsanddetectives]

usually i ignore your tjlc contrnt bc I enjoy following you for other things but I'm curious: as a casual sherlock watcher who has never even engaged with shipping characters from the show, pulling a "s4 was fake all along" thing to me (and likely most casual watchers) would just feel like a desperate retcon after the hate that the season got. Also, intentional borderline-unwatchable storytelling is still borderline unwatchable, expecially if it requires conspiracy threads and pages of analysis to make it anything other than bad. I just don't think a network/producers would approve something like that?

I'm not expecting them to pull "s4 was fake all along" in the slightest and I don't know how I've given that impression (though if you ignore my tjlc content normally then I guess you don't know what I think?)

the rest under the cut because i talk a lot

I never found it borderline unwatchable, I can see why people think it was but it by no means Requires conspiracy threads or pages of analysis to make it good - the analysis is inherent to watching, if you thought it was bad that's a Good thing because it exists as the antithesis to the correct adaptation of sherlock holmes as a character and a franchise. so it succeeded in that if it felt wrong to you. i know that it might be difficult to grasp but the fact that it was bad is why it was good. 

as to understanding it without needing lots of analysis: at the end of the day all the subtext is there for fun, for the select few who want to be part of the great game! the show reads perfectly well at a surface level, and the audience can go through the narrative to it’s fruition without knowing what is coming or understanding anything deeper. the experience of the show is similar to that of acd canon in that it can be read and enjoyed on one level but also has more to discover and enjoy at a deeper level. 

nobody is expected to read into it, but its there specifically for fans of the great game (the experience of solving sherlockian stories) to delve into, and there’s lots built in to have lots of fun with. it comes back to the idea of “warm paste”, which is how mark gatiss refers to bland and mind-numbing television that requires no brains whatsoever to watch and has nothing of substance to it. obviously we all love a bit of shit tv from time to time but thats just the exact opposite of what sherlock is supposed to be! the show itself teaches you how to solve mysteries and then gives you a puzzle: “you were told but you didn’t listen.” 

understanding s4 gets as complicated as you want to make it, but if you aren’t willing to apply very basic narrative ideas to it, then no, it won’t make sense. it requires very little to understand it in the context of unreliable narration (you don’t need to look deeper than that, that part is for fun for people who want it), but if the audience is unwilling to put any effort whatsoever into the media they consume then sherlock isn’t for them. some people think that’s snobby and bad but whatever, that’s what the aforementioned warm paste is for. it doesn’t mean tv shouldn’t be intellectually stimulating or have anything to say

what i actually expect them to do instead of “s4 was fake” is actually “s4 existed in universe as john watson’s writing”. unreliable narration is established in the show, particularly with the cover-up of magnussen’s death, and there are theories abound among sherlockians that within acd canon there were hidden snippets of the Truth and that what was published by watson in-universe is actually heavily censored for a number of reasons such as where they perverted the course of justice by running on their own moral compasses or for political/legal reasons (in the context of the wilde trials, of course neither watson nor acd could ever publish content including outright homosexuality). so s4 is essentially going to figure into canon in the sense that it is in-verse fiction written by john on his blog to cover up some unpleasant or unable to be revealed truth. there’s lots more evidence for this, often referred to as “blog theory” or “alibi theory”, if you’d like to look into this

as to the network/producers approving it:

1) the producer, sue vertue, is moffat’s wife, so I don’t think she is doing anything to stop their hairbrained schemes

2) there has been lots of exploration into how the series came to be what it is. to put it very briefly, there was an investigation by the bbc into LGB representation in the media, in the sense that the bbc is a publicly funded channel and is supposed to reflect the nation that watches it. (obviously there’s debate to be had about the extent to which this achieved, but that’s not relevant right now) the report produced was all about how the bbc needed to do better at making LGB content and representing LGB people. the big takeaway is that the bbc subsequently had the intention of representing such characters in realistic portrayals that didn’t rely solely on stereotypes, to give these characters meaningful storylines, and to create watercooler or landmark content. 

by watercooler content they mean something genuinely groundbreaking, like, say, a show that has the investment of the wider public revealing that the main character(s) are gay in the late game, where those characters are actually a preexisting symbol of britishness and to make them gay with a meaningful build up would be literally groundbreaking. the cherry on top here is that the gay pilot of sherlock (so lovingly named because it is much much more openly gay and camp than the final product) was created before this bbc report was published, and following the publication the commissioner of the report recommissioned sherlock into what it is today - i.e. the show was reshaped from something that could have reached its gay fruition within three episodes and existed solely as a miniseries of that length into a multi-series show with film-length episodes that would span years of storyline in order to give the gayness a more nuanced long and meaningful build up that would culminate in watercooler content.

3) there is precedent for “unwatchable” media with regards to absurdism, and i don’t see why absurdism would not be approved by the network

4) john yorke - if they had this fella behind them and vouching for their plan at the bbc then its obvious how it would get approved. even without yorke personally encouraging this move, the plan they had, based upon yorke’s structure, would have been enough to convince people at the bbc that this was a thing worth doing. and the bbc weren’t wrong to let them! sherlock has been wildly popular and no doubt made both hartswood and the bbc lots of money and awards and s4 was also critically acclaimed and got millions of viewers - in no way has this turned out badly for the bbc

i know i jumped between ideas here but that was the easiest way to answer without spending ages drafting something well written. if there’s any concepts that don’t make sense then they’re probably explained within amy’s metas that i mentioned earlier (medium.com/@toxicsemicolon) so i suggest you give them a read. have links so some other sources on specific things (such as the seminal text softly, softly) so message if you’re genuinely interested in understanding, because i’m not doing citations on all of this right now (i’m tired i’ve been writing essays all month but i really do want to share information when people ask for it so please do if you want)

[miiilowo]

Hellooo, very random and out of the blue, but could I ask about your OC, the enderboi with the gold in pink hair?

He seems vv sweet and I would very much like to learn a bit more about him

(If it's okay of course!! It's up to you!)

-Blep

>:)

ALright!!! I made this dude because of an smp i was on cause we were gonna get into some lore stuff, but it never happened and the smp is now entirely dead, so he’s free game and i can do whatever i want with him

We did have some lore set up, but we never got around to any actual plot development unfortunately :[ Ill tell you what we had, though:

- He’s a prince! The gold in his hair is like, threads of gold i suppose? An alternative to a traditional crown. I did this mainly because i didnt want to be too similar to ranboo, but i also just think it looks neat

He’s the prince of the end realm. How this came to be is that one of the server members, who ill just refer to as L, made an enderman grinder in the end. She saw my ender boy and for whatever reason (we never figured out why) she thought he was special and basically adopted him. One of her character flaws is that she has trouble viewing sentient mobs as sentient, and thought she had control over the end. She does not, but he is the prince of the end in everyones hearts i suppose

He’s got a castle, too. Its in the overworld though because he doesnt like being in the end very much.

ta da

I accidentally made him intensely neurodivergent coded as well!! is this a reflection of myself? Very possibly but i guess thats up to the therapists to figure out 

He got tired of the bland gray castle walls and, you cant see it, but the entire interior is decked with bushes and flowers and vines growing on the walls. Lots of bright carpets, too. He needs bright colorful stuff to function and is a big fan of flowers, hence why he is eating them in my header and icon. and im. i do that. i am these things. i eat flowers sometimes

He avoids eye contact because, well, he’s an enderman. He cant go in water unless hes got a full suit of armor on, and cant be in rain unless hes got a helmet or hat on. He cant drink water, but wants to be more like normal people, and he just drinks honey instead.

I also decided that his pink hair is actually just a wig he made with the surplus of pink sheep he has!!! because why not!!!!!!!!!!! its actually based off of me because i currently have pink hair >:]

He does have an accomplice, this kinda not-all-here clown lady who belongs to my buddy @loserchips. i helped make her backstory, but she can explain it if she would like to <3 Basically all u need to know from me is that Shes There, And Oh Boy, Shes Not Very Good For The Boys Mental Health. he’s still gonna stick with her though because he has abandonment issues

He also has a big library!!!!!!!!! Hes loves reading and collecting (stealing) books and learning about the overworld cause he wants to fit in better. I was planning on putting my poetry into the books but i never got around to it. we can say hes a poet though. for funsies

Hes a little shorter than the average enderman and has a piglin husband named william who i love so very much. william has become one of my go-to things to draw. i love him so much. heres william in game and in my Heart

 WILLIAM..........love him so very much..................... huggable...big guy...

enderboy is currently obsessed with expanding the wheat field to Absurd extents and william is willing to help ten thousand percent. Hes got his funky little sunhat and a lot of determination baby

They also garden together because of the flower thing and it is Cute And Good. these are my comfort characters and i think about them often

i also have a son? but its in an alternate world, so what im gonna say here is that they travel together and different minecraft worlds are just different vacations. So, kevin isnt on the smp with the castle, but he does exist:

he is wearing williams shirt and he has his comfort block of netherrack. love this guy

Also, the enderboy prefers mobs over humans as company! Hes got three enderfriends in his castle and doesnt like killing mobs much at all :[ theres also a grave in the yard filled with ender pearls that people on the server have given me as a joke. oh man. was not good for him

He has more formal and decked out clothes, but prefers to just chill in his comfey cloak around the castle <3 He probably gets dressed up when people come around, but he doesnt really consider himself much of a prince since he never visits the end

Oh!!!!!!!!!!! yes! i forgot! the man fucking loves gems and gold and stuff like that! the throne room is full of ore blocks, mostly emeralds, but theres a lot of gold and diamond in there too. Gold is his favorite and he has a lot of gold jewelry <3

also his ears move in accordance to his mood and his eyes work like cat eyes because it makes me happy and i love him

I will probably use him as a general persona eventually, but thats his minecraft lore!!!!! I did leave out some big chunks, but thats the main deal hes got going on. I adore him so much

[docmurph12]

Ok review time!! Been a while, its good to be back. Im a little behind on requests so the first is going to be one from my wife, who I think chose this because she wants to simultaneously torture me and because she doesn't like it either and wants to confirm the quality (or lack thereof). At the least I know this movie split audiences, and I know the music, while.......well enough composed is painfully simple and bland to the point of being tropey. It will be interesting enough to see how they manage to Disney-ize the world's best known racist exploitative exhibitionist. If you wanna know I'll do 5 about Barnum at the end, for the sake of historical reference.

To start, Hugh Jackman is predictably fantastic vocally. I absolutely loved him in Les Miserables and he is definitely in voice here. The interesting thing I noticed is that the music is REALLY canned, but mostly its not a bad thing. It's just really obvious they did the music in ADR style recordings after or maybe even before the fact. It is REALLY clean and sometimes is just a touch jarring that the performer's movements don't seem to appear at all audibly. It is all very well mixed though, the sound effects are not at all distracting, but also not distractably absent (Thanks CATS for making that a thing I notice now).

The movie is very well shot, this early in the film the thing thats bugging me is that they have some great shots, but they never let anything sit. There are a lot of cuts. I am obviously a fan of long shots, but you have to let the shot sit for a second. Camera movement is not a bad thing, and it adds a little continuity and relation to your characters to your visual storytelling. Watch how David Fincher tends to use a camera. Looooong cuts that precisely follow character movements. Lots of this is his specific style but man it draws you in.

Interesting introduction to Zack Efron's character. He is an awful big actor (with what im understanding will be a big part) to have been introduced with nothing more than a throwaway line about a specific rich family that hasn't been mentioned at all prior to this. Kind of removes the stakes or any level of interest in who this person even is or why Barnum wants him involved at all.

I really liked the scene transition from the bar to the circus. Well shot, interesting visual trickery, nice use of long cut shots to establish where you are supposed to be, so that when it changes incrementally it is very visually stunning and exciting.

The bearded lady has a trash application. Im surprised that made it into a big budget tent pole film. My God is that thing bad.

The whole "This is Me" "Rise up" thing really is tragic considering the people who were basically used by Barnum never were anything to him but a money making venture. They were made celebrities under Barnum but arguably never made what they deserved with him, and after the fact were still ridiculed and shamed. In fact riots were started because of Barnum's "den of evil".

Man, Zack Efron slays with his voice but he totally just bounced Zendaya's head off the ground. Holy shit.

Interesting that the one thing negative they focus on with Barnum is his inability to focus his energy on his family and the trouble it got him into.

Oh hey that's Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. Strange that its not even a bit part that he got. He's awesome. Shame they didn't use his talent to better effect. I really enjoy watching his performances. I mean the awfully bearded lady got more of a speaking role than one of the most talented actors on the cast.

Nice that some of the performances later in the film appear to be recorded live. Hugh Jackman should really have gone whole hog in performing live for the whole film. He's really very good.

The choreography in this is remarkably complex. They had to have spent a crazy amount of time in rehearsals on this, especially on the pieces in smaller spaces.

Oh man the VFX of Tom Thumb riding the elephant was REALLY bad. I wasn't sure if it was just me when I saw it earlier in the movie when he was riding the horse, but nope. Just bad.

And of course the obligatory positive quote from the famous historical main character.

Alright so the final verdict. This wasn't the atrocious train wreck I thought it was going to be. That said, there were a lot of things that left me pretty disappointed. The devil truly is in the details and there were things that had me wondering how they got through the final approval door. Bad makeup/prosthetics, good audio mixes combined with jarring combinations of live and pre/post recorded music, inconsistency in the editing room in terms of length of shots for effect, oddly throwaway introductions of main characters, bad VFX and unused talent really leave one wanting more out of this. Now the really tragic thing here is that there might be a way better film here if they grimed it up and really went for the more accurate story of PT Barnum, a little closer to "There Will Be Blood", where the tale of narcissism driven obsession of exploitation and profit takes center stage. Folks please let it be known this is just a movie. PT Barnum was not a good person. He exploited people for profit, and continued to put people on display as freaks in spite of the negative attention it brought them. THE EXHIBITION WAS KNOWN COMMONLY AS A DEN OF EVIL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE AND ALL HE DID WAS LABEL THESE PEOPLE AS FREAKS AND PUT THEM ON DISPLAY. He was only a philanthropist in the sense that for him to be so, he needed to see a profit on the back end. If you really need to know how bad things were take a second and look up the name Joice Heth. You might thank me, you probably won't. That said, I truly feel this was a wasted opportunity to tell a well written cautionary tale. Lots of good in this version of the film, but not enough to overshadow some very strange oversights.

Final Verdict?

C-. I dont see myself revisiting this. So much left on the table.

Next up? Either The Platform or Circle (I think that is the name of it). REALLY looking forward to those ones.

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

I didn’t realize how long it had been, whoops! below a readmore for length.

on [edgeworth]:

@isdisorigionalenoughforyou​ said: OH MY GOD OP I LOVE YOU

aahhh thank you!

@nokomitsu​ said: this is the only good edgeworth fanart i have decided.

that is high praise indeed :O

@jadeharleyofficial​ said: kirbworth kirbworth! edgeby...

both are very good options....

@escargon​ said: kirbworth.

I guess you’re the tiebreaker vote lol

@ow-the-edge​ said: :0

who knew he could be this unthreatening lol (nah edgeworth’s actually a big dorky softie under all the trauma)

on [float]:

@jeremy-the-bear-orca-hybrid​ said: *happy poyo noises*

he’s having a good time!

@inexplicably-spookified​ said: floaty orb

he’s very buoyant.

on [:0]:

@dragonofcupcake​ said: *axolotl yawning meme intensifies*

definitely one of my favorite memes lol. I’m gonna have yoshi’s island stuck in my head all day tho if I’m not careful!

on [thumbs]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: you always make him look so cute, i love seeing him whenever you post

aahhh thank you! your tags are always a delight too :’)

@knightmareindreamland​ said: gamer!

he’s a hardcore gamer! he only plays on easy because otherwise he’ll just embarass everyone else!

@dragonofcupcake​ said: the little chubby thumbs-

he can grow thumbs at will I guess. gotta push the buttons!

@tomhardyon​ said: :3

:>

on [yellow]:

@rick-the-hamster​ said: look at that smile

he’s having a nice day!

@dragonofcupcake​ said: hes just standing there... menacingly

wee-woo wee-woo wee-woo!

on [music]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: *plays my bologna*

I’m partial to “now that’s what I call polka” myself lol

on [tea]:

@kitten-solari-completed​ said: poyo

wise words. *nods*

@squawylaous​ said: Me but with soup

yeah! you can put whatever you want in a mug. tea, soup, cake....

@inexplicably-spookified​ said: i’m not a tea person but i would happily enjoy a cuppa with the gorb

he also has hot cocoa on hand!

on [detective]:

@inexplicably-spookified​ said: kirby the orbtective!!!!!! on the case (to find the best snack)

a tricky case indeed! can it ever be solved?

on [princess]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: absolutely adorable. im soft. i love princess gumdrop so much

;x; princess gumdrop.... an extremely good pair of words....

on [folk]:

@swiggity-switchface​ said: My son

kirby has so many parents! he’s very well loved!

@frankie1205​ said: he looks like every bland battle cat design

@pickls-n-pinks said: yeah.

hmm yeah that’s valid.

@tailgxted said: hm

-thinking emoji-

on [rest]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: me too gumdrop, always wrapped in a blanket

blankets are good! (they’re fun to make too! which is why I always have too many)

@berrykirby​ said: little kirby all curled up. op your tags about rest, needed that !

good! I’m glad you got a reminder you needed -u-

@inexplicably-spookified​ said: i wish i had a life-sized kirby plush to snuggle with in bed, that would be Very Nice. i love my lil pup one though his name is cobalt and i've had him for ages. he's a blue heeler c:

oh man, that would be so comfy. I’ve seen that giant one in person once before, that’s like 2′ diameter or something, it was fascinating. (and cobalt sounds like a very good pup!)

on [smash]:

@dragonofcupcake​ said: [Insert Koolaid Man reference here] wait a second maybe this is where he went-

(in reference to stroll below) ah! it must have been very important business!

@inexplicably-spookified​ said: H U Z Z A H

@akirenhell​ said: HE'S HERE

he has ARRIVED

on [green]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: adore this lil gumdrop

thank you :>

on [hello]:

@bubblesthesanddragon​ said: hello! o/

@victoryfanfare​ said: hello babie

kirby is happy to see you all! \o/

on [stroll]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: his tiny face just makes me so happy 🥰

same tho! small face. big heart.

@dragonofcupcake​ said: kirby has made his way to the town.

he has traveled at a reasonable pace.

@apollo-hemingway said: have a kirb to get u through these tough times

yes! that is what he’s here for!

on [stealth]:

@inexplicably-spookified​ said: goooood shit

lol ty

@the-halo-of-my-memory​ said: peekaboo! i def want to see him around plants and flowers, he's so wholesome ☺️

yeah I don’t know why I forgot I can draw him with cute friends! he pairs very well with plants.

@dragonofcupcake​ said: this reminds me I should water my plant-

good idea!

on [flower]:

@bubblesthesanddragon​ said: flower!!!!

yeah!!

@victoryfanfare​ said: rond....

he really is, huh

on [luigi]:

@gigilefache​ said: luigi orb

I’m trying to think of a funny portmanteau and I can’t -n-

on [jinbei]:

@inexplicably-spookified​ said: god i wish that were me

highkey same tho

@boopdamouse​ said: mood. thats really cute btw!!

thank you! :>

I hope everyone is as safe and well as possible right now. it’s important that we keep respecting each other and ourselves, and make sure decisions are being made with compassion. (and resting is very important! you make better decisions when you’re well-rested, and stopping to rest means you can give even more later.)

[crunchybones-mcspine]

OKAY BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS BABEYY

I really enjoyed it. They had some fun themes, interesting ideas, and the lighting was so much fun to look at.

The set was really cool. Nothing super ostentatious or overly extravagant. But exactly what was needed, simple and effective while still being sweet to look at. In classic starkid way. I LOVE the use of spotlights and the tinsel. That was really damn cool and i wished they had used it more. Though i understand why they didnt.

Kim has the voice of an angel my god. The banana child has an incredible voice that really worked with the finale song.

I love that corey finally got his solo. I lovw that it was a weird frank n furter meets capitalism vibe. Joey stole the stage whenever he was in a speaking role. Incredible perfirmance on his part that guy felt gooey and greasy in all the worst ways. I would loved to have him more explicitly referenced as Wilbur, because unless i managed to miss it its only heavily implied?

The wiggly jingle is great. The void wiggly song is awesome and once again KIM. But a fair few of the other songs seemed a little plonked in? Or very samey? (Might just me my terrible hearing not able to pick up on the song shift though that could be on me) As much as i adore Dylans voice he was near exclusively ballads and softer songs, and without his son on stage with him or seeing more of that relationship full stop they felt a little hollow.

However his duet with Kim when theyre in the playground with Hannah was incredible. I personally just would have liked a few more intense songs with a bit more oomph to them. But thats an opinion based on preference not a fault with the show itself.

I loved Gary Goldstein. Loved him. I dont know why but i do.

Macnamara has mad gay vibes and also seemed the most rounded as a character??? Maybe thats because weve seen him before but he had the most fleshed out feel. The other people with that feel were the president and maybe lex? But the rest felt a little 2d, however i am super excited to see where theyre gonna go with them and how theyll grow if we see them again.

I did feel as a whole the story was a little stretched out. There were lots of things going on in different places all at once and it was hard to properly attatch to their stories. But again thats just me. Im genuinely excited for starlid to get more ambitious in their projects and this is a good start even if i myself am a bit slow to follow.

Like i said earlier paul matthews autistic icon.

Curt was wonderful as the president. I really loved the cowardly wimp only president because he thought it was a cushy job in power but when called to step up he wilts. I really liked that and the jabs at polititians at the top that takes.

There were a few GREAT one liners.

The first death i feel could have been pushed back a little. For maximum hurt. Again there wasnt much time to really really appreciate the character. And feel that ACHE.

Becky Barnes good for her! On both counts.

But that said her relationship with tom felt? Meh? I didnt really care too much it was a bit bland and kind of sudden? Idk im not to interested in romance plots anyway so might just be me.

One the subject tho lex and ethan parenting the banana child was hilarious and wonderful that was amazing.

Overall, not my faviurite starkid show but i did love it and really look forward to seeing where theyre taking everything. Seeing more hatchetfeild is awesome. I nearly cried at the sight of paul and emma which is very lame on my part, and it was really nice to see sections expand. I feel if theyre really gonna pull this multiverse dealio off they might have to step away feom referencing their own universe too heavily though? The firearm authorisation line worked wonderfully and was a funny nod, but the hidgens reference (as much as it pains me to say given how much i adore him) was a wee bit on the nose. Fun nod though.

Im really looking forward to seeing where theyre going!!!! Bring on more hatchetfeild!!!!

[zoeygreensimblr]

Stay Beautiful (episode 15)

"Can I just have a tiny clue about the surprise" I beg Angus, Wednesday night after the gym, sitting in his office of blandness.

"How are your Essay's coming, there will be no surprise if you haven't finished them" He asks me, I swear he's worse than Don and Mr Landgaarb put together

"I've finished my Simlish one" I explain, hoping that will win him over and he will give me a clue

"And History? Zoey, we had a deal remember?"  He reminds me

"I'll start it Sunday, it will be done by this time next week." I promise him

"And you have to leave time to do a practice test or two, I want you to be well prepared when you take your final exams" He harps on

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, practice tests, got it. Clue please?" I think I'd sell my soul at this point just to know what the surprise is.

"I'll give you two clues" He tells me and I get so excited I jump up from my seat and run up to him for a hug, "Wow, I haven't even told you the clues yet and you're all over me."

"Are you complaining?" I ask him joking

"Never" He says, kissing the top of my head, "Ok, clue 1, You will need swim wear because the climate is warm there will be a spa", I smile at him, I wore him down

"Is that one clue or three?" I ask, still confused about where we could be going

"That was one clue but I threw in some detail to tease you" He laughs, "Now clue two, we will be flying there".

"Ive never flown anywhere before" I tell him, getting more excited

"You're too cute baby" He laughs, "What do you want to do tonight anyway?" He asks me and I just stare at him, suggestively, he just laughs and asks "What else do you want to do tonight Zoey? We could go for dinner or see a movie?"

"Don't you have to work early tomorrow?" I ask

"I have Thursdays off" He informs me, how did I not know this? Maybe it's never come up before because I'm  usually at school every Thursday.

"I'd like to go out for dinner" I tell him, "But nowhere fancy, just somewhere casual coz I only packed casual clothes" I add

"So burgers and fries is what she desires tonight?" He asks, laughing, "You're determined to make me fat" He says, shaking his head

"I'd still love you if you're fat Angus" I promise, he grabs my hand and places it under his shirt so I can feel his washboard abs

"Say goodbye Zoey" He knows me too well

"Fine, salad it is" I laugh with him.

Angus held my hand as we walked from his office to the desk at the front. Annabelle had returned to work today but still looked unwell. We stop to farewell her on our way out and I remember I had knitted her a scarf, I pull it out of my bag and drape it around her neck.

"Oh Zoey, it's beautiful, thank you" She says, giving me a hug

"It's nothing Annabelle, I was thinking about you all last week and thought it would keep you warm at work" I explain, "If that's ok with the boss of course? I know it's not uniform but I didn't like the thought of Annabelle getting more sick overtime the door opens and lets those cold, windy gushes in" I probably should have cleared it with Angus first

"It's fine Zoey, It does look beautiful too. I'm more concerned about when you found the time in your schedule to knit a scarf?" He frets and I squeeze his hand

"It really didn't take that long" I assure him, "Knitting is how I destress and writing that essay stressed me out a lot"

"I'm sorry Zoey, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it, you destress how ever you need to, I remember it being a stressful period" He pulls me in close to him, I know he means well, he just doesn't want me to fail.

"You remember year 12 Angus?" Annabelle laughs at him

"I remember fucking it up and having my arse handed to me by Landgaarb and then again by Imogen" He says seriously, "I don't want that for Zoey"

"Zoey is nothing like you were Gus" Annabelle tries to rationalise with him and I hug him tightly

"I know she's not, I just worry, you both know that" He resolves

It's interesting seeing Angus and Annabelle talk about the past that I was never part of and for me it's so hard to imagine Angus doing anything that would warrant getting expelled in his final year, the Angus I know is always in control and structured.

On the walk home, when it's just us I feel that it's the best time to ask him more about why he was expelled, I know it's a sensitive subject and i'm hoping he trusts me enough to open up.

"How close where you to completing before Mr Landgaarb kicked you out" I ask in a small voice. He stops walking and turns to looks at me, it's dark but I can still see his facial features in the streetlights, like he's tormented by the memories.

"It was about this time, we had just started term 3, I had spent all my holidays working on 3 assignments I had and Steph was so pissed off because I hadn't spent any time with her over Winter break. Steph was always angry at me about something so that was nothing new. I was in the top 2 of my year too but I wasn't a good kid, I'd get into fights and mouth off" He explains and it breaks my heart to hear that he was so close to finishing and it was taken away.

"Was it because you got into a fight?" I ask him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I need a haircut, I should probably do that before we go away" He says, changing the subject and I decide to let it go.

"I love you Angus, you're perfect to me" I give him a confidence boost

"Starving is what I am baby, I'm tempted to get street food although I've heard bad things about the Pufferfish, that if it's not cooked right you can die" he grabs my hand and walks us to where the food stalls are, "You wanted casual" he reminds me.

We order hamburgers from one of the stalls and wait for our food, I snuggle into Angus to keep warm.

"I'm not going to tell you why I was kicked out, you have this image of who you think I am and I don't want to destroy that image. I love you Zoey but I want you to understand that this is the one thing I will never tell you. I'm not proud of what happened and if I could change it I would." He has that pained look on his face again.

"I understand, I won't ask again, it's in the past" I reassure him

We eat our burgers in front of the fire, the crackling flames create the perfect romantic aura.

"Did you like the burger?" Angus enquires

"It was so juicy, I loved it, have you had street food from there before?" I ask, knowing if he did it wouldn't be often given his aversion to carbs.

"Never, you're just a bad influence Amelia, making me fall off the wagon" He laughs

"I have a way for you to work it off" I suggest

"Where?" He asks

"Where what?" I reply, confused

"Where do you suggest we work it off, keeping in mind you can't pick any location we've done it in before, those are the new rules" He challenges me, "That rules out here in the lounge room, my bedroom and the laundry, oh and Immie's room coz thats just a world of creepy"

"We didn't really have...sex, in the laundry though" I remind him.

"You came on the washing machine Zoey, I'm counting it" He gives me that cheeky smile. Think Zoey, you can be creative

"The kitchen?" I decide, based on nothing more than that it's close to the lounge room where we are sitting and anywhere downstairs will be too cold.

"I want you to go into the kitchen, take your clothes off and bend over the island bench and wait for me" He orders me and I obey

I don't hear him walk up behind me but I feel him run his hand up my inner thigh and slip his fingers inside me

"Thats my good girl, always so wet" He praises me, moving his fingers to my clit and my breathing starts to quicken, "Are you ready baby"

"Where are you putting it" I ask, suddenly aware we never discussed trying anal and I'm not ready to be that experimental

"Same place I always go" He assures me and i feel him slide in, he settles in and starts penetrating, I instinctively push back so he can go in deeper, he spanks me hard enough to send the electric volts through my body and I can't help but let out a loud "fuck" which just spurs him on, his hand leaves my ass and slowly makes it way to my left breast, he cups it and squeezes my nipple, it's enough to send me over the edge, I collapse on the bench and feel Angus have his own climax seconds after mine.

"Sorry baby, that was over before it started but the bench was great choice" I feel him-up out of me and I still can't move, that was absolutely satisfying  and I'm spent. I slowly peel myself off the bench. I have no idea where Angus has disappeared to until I hear the bath water running, I make my way downstairs, naked and cold and find him in the bathroom, he wraps a fluffy dressing gown around me and I wait for the bath to fill up so I can put the spa on.

"Fuck that was good Zoey" He says, kissing me deeply on the lips.

"I think that was my favourite so far" I inform him and he laughs

"Theres plenty more to come, maybe even tonight" He tells me, "Just for future reference though, I would always tell you before I go up your arse, no surprise attacks I promise."

He climbs in to the bath and holds out his hand for me to follow him in, we find a corner and stretch-out, me between his legs.

"Have you done that before? Anal?" I ask curiously

"Yes and I wouldn't force it on you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you Zoey" He nuzzles into my neck

"I don't think it's for me" I tell him

"I'm perfectly ok with that Princess, I'm satisfied with what we are doing now" He reassures me, "Can I make one suggestion though?" He asks and my heart start racing, I'm not doing this right, I should be putting in more effort

"What is it?" I ask, expecting the worst

"I want you to go on the pill, we can use it as a back up method if you want to but I would feel a little bit of relief knowing we're not going to have any accidents." He suggests

"I think thats a good idea, Tess is on the pill, she goes to our doctor in Brindleton Bay but I can't ask her to come with me, she will ask too many questions" I tell him

"Zoey I will go with you" He offers, "Otherwise if you go alone you will antibiotics for the flu all because you can't say the word sex" He jokes and I splash him, he knows me all too well.

"Can we go tomorrow?" I ask

"We can go tonight if you want? There's a late night clinic just up the road, it's designed for people who need to see a doctor but not for anything serious outside of business hours and the doctors there are good too." He explains

"Is that where you go?"I ask him

"Yeah, when I need to, I do get sick sometimes." He tells me, "Do you want to go tonight or wait until tomorrow" He asks me

"Go tonight" I reply, "The doctor isn't going to poke me with anything right?" Ive seen way too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy at this point where people go in for simple health issues and the Doctors end up putting a tube down their throat or sticking a giant needle in them. Angus starts laughing at my completely rational fear.

"They're not going to poke you with anything" he says trying to keep a straight face, "I am, but they won't" He gives me that cheeky smile

The clinic is a small space placed between two giant retail stores. Theres 1 other person waiting when we arrive, we check in at the desk and the receptionist hands me a form to fill out, questions about previous medical history. Our wait is short and a female doctor calls my name and ushers me into a smaller office than the one Angus occupies at the gym but unlike his, this room is way more decorated.

"Hi Zoey, my name is Doctor Evans" She introduces herself, "what can I help you with tonight?"

My nerves kick in, I know what I'm here for but I can't say it, she's going to judge me and give me a lecture about how I should never of lost my virginity, Angus can see I'm struggling and takes me hand

"It's alright Zoey, you're in a safe place here, Dr Evans isn't going to make you feel bad" He comforts me, "Zoey is a highly anxious person, she finds it hard to talk about certain subjects, that's why I came in with her tonight" Angus explains to the doctor and I can see Dr Evans starting to understand what's going on

"Is this your boyfriend Zoey?" she asks me and I nod yes, "And are you sexually active?" she continues

"Yes" I say shyly, preparing myself for the lecture

"Zoey there's nothing to feel ashamed of, a lot girls become sexually active around your age and it's natural. My only concern is that your protected and safe."She reassures me, "Have you been tested?" She enquires and I look at Angus, he promised no needles tonight

"Zoey was a virgin before we started having sex, we use condoms every time too" Angus answers for me, Dr Evans turns her attention from me to Angus

"And when were you last tested for STIs?" she questions him

"After my last sexual encounter, I'm clean" He replies and I sit there thinking that these should have been questions I asked him before jumping into anything, I didn't even consider it. Dr Evans turns her attention back to me.

"Zoey would you like me to prescribe the pill for you?" She asks me in her concerned doctor voice.

"Yes please" I reply, my own voice is soft and shy

"I can do that tonight, I'm going to also prescribe a low dose of anti anxiety medication too" She tells me, "The pill must be taken at or around the same time every day for it to be effective and it can take up to 7 days for it to become effective so please keep using your back up form of contraception. Also I must warn you that antibiotics can make the pill ineffective so be aware of that if you are prescribed antibiotics at any stage" She says as she types and prints out two prescriptions, "Also Zoey, don't ever feel ashamed to talk to a medical professional about being sexually active, we are here to help you, never judge you" She smiles warmly at me

"Thank you Dr Evans" I say. We leave the clinic and find a late night chemist near by, I put my prescriptions in with the pharmacist and we sit and wait, Angus takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

"Proud of you Princess" He says

"I really didn't do anything, you did all of the talking, my nerves just took over" I'm ashamed that I couldn't speak up

"Zoey it's all good, I know you have anxiety and thats why I went with you tonight and maybe the medication for anxiety will help keep the nerves away." He comforts me

"I should have ask you that question before we did anything" my mind is going into overthinking mode

"I would of told you if you had anything to worry about, I knew I was clean and yeah, maybe we should of had that conversation, that falls on me more than you not asking, I didn't think about it honestly because I knew you were clean" He reassures me, "You're safe with me Zo, always", I feel it too.

We walk back to the apartment, past the food stalls that are packing up for the night.

"Do you want a cupcake Princess?" He asks me

"You ask me like you don't already know the answer will always be yes" I laugh

He orders 2 red velvet cupcakes and we eat them in front of the fire.

"I feel bad for Joanna" I randomly blurt out

"Why, she earns $165 a day here, I think she's not doing too bad" He laughs

"Yeah but what do you think she thinks now that she has to empty your trash bin after we've, you know?" It's only just dawned on me now that, apart from Dr Evans, Joanna would be the only other person to know Angus and I are sleeping together and I've never even met her.

"Zoey I don't give a shit what she thinks, I'm an adult" He tells me, "You worry too much about what other people think" He states the obvious. I see his point though, it's no ones business what we are doing and it's not shameful either

"I'm going to tell Tess next time I see her" I announce

"Only if you're sure? I can be there with you if you want me to be?" He's asks knowing I may need support

"Thank you, I appreciate it but I think it's best I do this alone, Tess has been my whole world for so long and now she shares it with you, I love you both but I don't want to make her feel like it's now you and me and she's been pushed out. I need sister time." I explain and then a panic sets in, I don't want Angus to feel I''m pushing him out either, "Is that OK?" I ask

"Of course thats OK Zo, you never have to feel like you're choosing Tess over me, she's your sister and your best friend" He says, kissing my head

[shiningrey]

thoughts on tlj

so its no secret that im not the biggest fan of riad johnstones fucking flaming mess of a movie. and i think finally, after a slew of smaller rants, i’m finally emotionally stable enough to summarise how i feel about tlj as a whole star wars movie; my views on which can be summarised in a quote from this awesome review; ‘the impersonal nature of star wars is starting to give me the creeps’ (and fuck how it is). through its awkward dialogue (and awkward delivery), odd and jarring self depreciating comedy, broad mischaracterisation, sweeping commercialisation, unnecessary subplots and resulting laborious run time, and overall complete lack of any creative, visual, narrative and underlying thematic originality and flair that defined the original trilogy, this blunderous commercial failed to resonate with a large percentage of audiences (myself included). hating this movie the way that i do has made me unbearably upset, just really fucking sad, because i love star wars, i love its characters and creative originality, its unique flavour. tlj has kind of just left this behind completely. and trust me, we’re allowed to critique this film because when one is given all the materials to make a star wars movie (namely $200 million), there is little excuse for producing something that is anything less than incredible, plot holes and flaws become inexcusable.

(cont under the cut, spoilers obv)

for general cohesion i’ll list my arguments in dot points (because if i write paragraphs i’ll just start getting sad again and ranting) - this mostly has to do with characters as opposed to broader narrative issues

➣ the complete disrespect and mischaracterisation of luke. his character integrity and development is sacrificed (and even regressed) purely for the purpose of rian johnson’s shitty marvel-esque humor. (which i talk about here) 

➣ THE HUMOR. oh my god, its absolutely strange, terrible and out of place. its self aware and self depreciating, completely ignoring the flavour of past star wars humor. (for example the alien tiddy scene, the poe and hux scene?) ‘A phrase often repeated in reviews is that the movie is self aware, and they’re applauding that as though it is a new benchmark in intelligent filmmaking. For me this isn’t the venue for that. The constant winking to the audience is not boldness, but a lack of confidence in the material. It was hyper colloquial, trying to be hip’ x. this is a good example too

➣ finn & rose’s entire subplot was a literal sidelining of poc characters, the narrative of which ultimately culminates to.. absolutely nothing? they add maybe 40 minutes to the run time but contribute absolutely fucking nothing to the plot. the story seemed to target the audiences ‘feels’ but seemed strangely devoid of emotion (explained well here), and sadly i think the romance felt forced (despite this i think kelly and john did an awesome job and i love them both)

➣ REY is completely shunted into just another character in kylos redemption arc, which feels like such huge disrespect to a character that i love and look up to, my thoughts on this summarised in this awesome post. (and kylo mostly sulks for the majority of the film? i literally cant take him seriously as a villain anymore, and this) 

➣ snoke was just killed off? we learned absolutely nothing of what ‘it’ is, character background & motivations, why is it so powerful with the force etc. such a waste. same arguments can be made for phasma.

➣ hux, who is established as what could possibly be a genuinely threatening, and interesting character in tfa, is immediately shunted into a comedic role, literally just there to diffuse the tension (the tension being a huge part of what makes these films fun to watch). this is one of the most obvious examples of jj’s hard work on tfa going to waste, a whole character is now absolute trash. i mean watching this (hux’s speech) it becomes so evident that rian has squandered his potential (and domnhall is an amazing actor as well so like yeah...what a fucking waste)

➣ the dialgoue.. the characters bark out their inner monologues and motivations like they’re hosting TED talks on mindfulness, infusing the film with this awful emotional sterility. And heaps of the lines feel strangely out of place in a star wars film? for example when poe says ‘i’ll hold’? and when they refer to the jedi order as a ‘religion’, which seems openly sloppy as i don’t think this is done in any other star wars film?

➣ leia (my favourite star wars character of all time) spent most of the film silent.... Awesome. (AND WHEN SHE FLIES THROUGH SPACE.. DEADASS I CANT!! but like humor aside didn’t she renounce the use of the force because of her fathers misuse? hm). her dialogue was just bad and her very minor slice of screen time left me feeling pretty fucking disappointed, she seems to now be reduced to just ‘kylos mother, lukes sister’, which sucks more than i can describe, carrie deserved more respect.

➣ and i mean.. the blatant attempts to create merch for disney (it seems to have rightly backfired), at least wookies had a place in the narrative

➣ rian’s plot seemed really formulaic but somehow still in a clunky and strange way, just really lacking in any creativity. (for example on crait when poe says ‘theres only one way in and out’, but not 5 seconds later they’re shown a ‘secret’ exit, this just seems lazy)

➣ the casual destruction of what were probably hundreds of rebellion lives, picking off the ships one by one toward the climax of the narrtive? i mean an argument can be made that this was necessary to the plot (i don’t make this argument at all), but regardless it sat wrong with me that this blasé mass murder was brushed over. we feel nothing for these hundreds of dead characters? this seems really really wrong - the complete opposite of what Rogue One was trying to accomplish

➣ the beauty of the CGI visuals often felt patronising. like i was meant to sit there and mindlessly go ‘oooh’. whilst i was appreciative of the CGI during certain moments, generally i just felt it didn’t really excuse the empty plot and characters. 

➣ even more minor things, where was the ‘i have a bad feeling about this’. did rian even watch the other movies????? for a movie thats referred to as pure fan service, it sure does a poor job at servicing fans

so all these things culminated to create a super bland, flattened, sterile and commercial star wars movie, with no actual creative vision (besides some admittedly beautiful visuals), disney has failed to create a star wars movie. even jar jar binks was, for better or worse, a bold creation, nobody could say he was a rehash of pre-existing characters, and tlj lacks this quality utterly and completely. in trying to both adhere to the structure of previous films, whilst also being ‘different’, it loses its sense of cohesion entirely. not to mention this movie is completely out of sync with tfa, besides basic plot points it seems to have no continuity whatsoever. all of jj’s beautiful work on tfa characters and dialogue, has gone to waste. i look forward to him salvaging the burning scraps of this trilogy.

maybe i am reading into this too much, maybe i am critiquing for no good reason, and the reviews would certainly suggest that. but this movie has really upset me, not only in concern for star wars, but for the wider film industry, the business of blockbusters, sequels and ‘subtle’ commercialism. the future, it seems, does not look bright. 

[feverhalo]

Ok so. Big talky post about irl shit in all forms because why not & i feel bad leaving you all hanging so long on so much

Please dont r///ebl/////og and theres no pressure to read it or do anything in regards to this.

So. This covers like. So many topics. Grief and death and mental health being the biggest warnings for

Average news first. I still have my job and have been there officially for a year now! Pay rates are going up in my province, and thats a new solid reference should i need it any time soon. Theyre also beong really understanding and compromising(? Forgot theword i had originally) and letting me try new jobs/places to reduce stress

I found out yes, i am still allergic to peanut butter if the fact that i had really annoying stomach pain for h o u r s after eating a teeny tiny pb cookie is anything to go by. Didnt really pay attention to if i broke out on my sides or not because i was a little preoccupied with curling up tightly and feeling a little off the next day too. (I mean no duh what did i expect to happen but i mean. They smelled so good). Lesson learned.

Bad news

ive touched on but i dont think ever really said. Someone very very close to me passed in late summer and im still devistated and torn up and doing my denial/anger thing for the most part. Its. Not easy. But ive been going to see someone, admittedly its become a bit about everything when it was supposed to just be this, but i dont do death. When i was a kid and lost someone i shut down entirely and aside from angry outbursts and the occasional breakdown i tried my hardest to act like there was not and would never be a hole there. It didnt work well at all and im still affected by that person's passing too.

They were also one of the more supportive people in my life and i spent a lot of time reading and writing and creating in their company and its been hard.

And i know that im handling this a little better even though im still skipping out on things and blowing up and all the same sort of crap but i actually have a neutral space that wont feel marked or stained every day for processing and a neutral person to help.

And of course its not just grief im getting help with because its all kind of a tangled mess. But im also getting like. New insight on stuff and someone to talk to about whatever. And its making life quite a bit harder because im so used to blocking it out or locking myself away and letting things rush over and take over and run their course. Its been really hard to be creative because im incredibly self critical and having a lot more trouble focusing lately because of a lot of reasons.

Im stressed and overwhelmed a lot more easily and frequently right now. And i know im being distant even if it doesnt show. Im scared to kind of go along with this and open up and all that junk and now im being gently prodded to do so in short, honest (not just stuff i dont rly care about or stuff callously overshared to just pretend im being open) bursts its kind of freaking me out. But like. Itll all end up for something good i hope. Even though it feels awful right now and ive had stints of days or even a full week with supports on speed dial when i havent been able to calm down or shut off over thinking but thats- i mean i expect it. A lot is happening and ive known for years my coping strategies have been lacking.

Ive also been talking with this outside help and weve toyed with the idea of maybe i really do have add or at least my anxiety manifests similarly and its kind of a which came first- and this ties in to the next good part in a second- but i havent scheduled anything in my area for right now for those sorts of things but im still kind of getting new ideas from a different angle that might maybe help and if i dont then im learning things i still may be able to use. Either way its not a huge deal for the current moment and its a bit if trying to find compassion and acceptance for myself whether its thing a or b or neither but whatever

Good, great, best news!!

I have an in to starting the more physical process of transitioning. Like i have a day and a time and a start. Like really really really soon. Its going to be hard i know because im going to have to open up about things and will probably be told i have to wait until i can stablize a bit more- its been a lot happening in a short while. And i understand. I waited 2 years to hear from them, i waited a few years to reach out to them, and i unknowingly waited years to find new words that struck a chord and all that. So as long as its moving i can deal with the wait.

I have GOOD people (many i know and have known for years now who happen to work in an adjacent field, some who are new and yet to be met but have rly good references if that makes sense?) who are going to help me kind of navigate and understand and undo things i thought i learned that were honestly just veiled hate and scare tactic garbage. People who support me and dont push me past what i am comfortable with undergoing to "prove" anything (such as 'if you didnt do x right away youre lying/if you dont do y surgery first i wont believe you' kind of comments. I hope). Im looking into options and im so excited for it!!

Its going to involve a lot of talking about things and probably a lot i dont want to talk about just yet but its a great chance because it gets me officially connected and officially started and this place has more options than my town and more specialized crap that can detangle and work through all the connected things and it can all be lumped together as the same process and hopefully help financially that way- and time wise unbelieveably. Theres a very good chance ill be able to talk with someone there, and very likely that first appointment, who can help me understand why i work the way i do sometimes for whatever reason it is.

And im getting a lot of positivity and lessons like learning to give myself some slack where it matters and stuff like that. And that im not worthless or stained or going to rot other people- which is honestly uncomfortable for me to think because of how long ive thought the opposite. Like to think i may actually be pretty good like not pretend good and actually worth anything at all. Because i got stuck in bad thoughts since i was small.

Im also thinking on trying to go back to school because i have a lot i think about with nowhere to really put it and nothing to do which doesnt help me do the things i want to do. So maybe something like that would help because i like learning. I like the motions of it- writing and reading with intent to understand something new, the routine as much as i whined about it in highschool, the forced kind of proximity to people living apart from what i know entirely too so the world feels bigger in a tangible way. Thats on a back burner and waiting for sure! But the fact im thinking about it and happily thinking about it? I like that.

My life has been. Kind of a combination of bland as hell and busy if that makes sense. Ive had to sort of shut down outward productivity and cut down on things a bit because so much is going on, and im trying to do a lot as paced and as slowly as i can bear.

And even though im not Here here as much as i want to be and everything its just. Kind of time for this. And im so glad and happy that when i can be here i can see that people still like what ive done and theres always awesome content to see and yeah

Thanks for everything and checking in and i really really am looking forward to moving forward.

[lunarmoonflowyr]

im feeling Ranty about BL3 so readmore

honestly just to preface this, my rant/vent is not about people who have the attitude of “Borderlands’s writing/characters/humor isn’t really my style and I don’t like it” but they don’t go out of their way to shit on it or just call it a “bad game” just because it doesn’t align to what they personally enjoy

people who just dislike Borderlands but are chill about it? i like u. keep doin what ur doin. u don’t have to like Borderlands, its okay. ur allowed to have ur own tastes and interests and if Borderlands doesn’t tickle ur fancy, thats ok!!! 

but @ all the assholes who think that they’re Big Galaxy Brain Intellectuals™ because they think Borderlands is “cringey” and specifically shit on the game/people who enjoy the game because of a subjective difference? y’all can go drink a glass of Shut The Fuck Up

i’m honestly SO happy that Gearbox didn’t do some massive overhaul with BL3. I’m so happy they didn’t cram in some stupid battle royale mode, or some half-assed multiplayer mode, or whatever. For all their faults (of which there are several), Gearbox genuinely understands what their core fanbase wants out of Borderlands. And as far as I’ve seen, they haven’t budged on that even a little bit. 

I was so worried that BL3 was just gonna be Anthem but celshaded, just a hacked out excuse to wring money out of people. 

But it isn’t. 

I have almost 350 hours in BL2 on steam, and probably over 2,000 on Xbox360, which is where I spent years playing the Borderlands franchise until I switched over to PC. 

And not everyone liked Borderlands 2! A lot of the ‘criticism’ being levied at BL3 is eerily similar to a lot of stuff that got thrown at BL2. 

“The memes are outdated and cringey, the humor is childish and basic, Claptrap is annoying and insufferable, the story is mediocre, the gameplay is repetitive”

Am I quoting criticisms of BL2 or 3? Trick question! It’s both! 

Yet somehow Borderlands 2 sold gangbusters and grew a devoted fanbase that patiently waited seven goddamn years for a proper sequel, happily playing the same game for hours and hours and hours.

And Gearbox not only respected its fanbase by releasing a whole-ass new DLC for Borderlands 2 to connect 2 and 3, but its so obvious how much love and effort and passion went into Borderlands 3. Gearbox understands and respects what its core fanbase and audience wants and expects out of a Borderlands game, and they fucking delivered. 

And of course all the critics and comedy snobs and general “I don’t personally enjoy this game so therefore it Sucks and is Objectively The Worst Thing Ever” crowd dissing BL3 for allll the same things that BL2 got criticized for back in 2012. 

“The memes are outdated and cringey” The stupid memes are great. I haven’t laughed at a game in a while and yet I’m constantly chuckling, grinning, or outright bursting into laughter over the various dumb memes and references in BL3. Hell, two of the respawn quotes the New-U station says are fucking Skyrim memes. 

“The humor is childish and basic” There’s a Moxxi shield that has the word “Healgasm” in its text informing you what it does. When the shield breaks, it heals you and allies, and it refers to this as a “Healgasm”. That’s funny. Is it childish? Absolutely. Is it hilarious? Also yes. Childish humor has its place, and its part of the BL3 identity. There’s also plenty of dick jokes, fart jokes, and poop jokes to go around, and while not all of them are home runs, they still got a chuckle out of me at the very least. Even the bad jokes are funny, the same way you can enjoy a terrible pun or a dad joke. 

“Claptrap is annoying” This is basically a stand in for “X character is annoying/bad/shouldn’t be in the game”. Whether it’s Claptrap, Tiny Tina, Moxxi, Lilith, the Borderlands cast tends to get called “annoying” a lot. And while Claptrap was designed to be annoying, and it’s totally understandable if you don’t like characters like that, this is just....its just personal taste. I love the cast of characters in Borderlands, I always have and I still do. And plenty of other people do as well. It’s okay to have a personal dislike for something but you gotta understand that its subjective. 

I never see any of those ‘criticisms’ expanded upon, by the way. Nobody has any actual analysis as to why these characters are bad. I only ever see “they’re annoying” or some other form of “I, personally, do not like them”

Which is okay! You’re allowed to dislike stuff! But don’t use your personal dislike as an objective criticism!

The only things the games get criticized for that I consider legitimate is the criticisms that the story can be kinda bland, and that the gameplay can be repetitive. 

These can both be true! The first Borderlands has a crap story, and Pre-Sequel definitely isn’t scoring high marks in those categories either. I think BL2′s main story is fucking fantastic, and I’m loving 3 so far (this game is fucking LONG though jesus), but even 2 has its low points and bland bits. 

I don’t think the main plots are nearly as bad as some people make them out to be though, they’re definitely not masterpieces sure, but the way some people treat these games stories is like they’re looking for an excuse to hate on it. 

And as for the gameplay, I do think this comes down to personal preference again, but I also have to ask what should the games have done to make it less repetitive? The characters all have various action skills that change how you play, the enemy types are fairly varied and interesting, and all the different guns add a very different spin on typical FPS gameplay. 

I mean sure, the moment-to-moment gameplay might not be as dynamic as something like DOOM2016 but I think if you’re going to play an FPS, you’re signing up for some measure of repetitiveness. Not every game can be DOOM, and even then, repetitive doesn’t necessarily mean bad. 

that’s basically my rant, I wish the people that dislike Borderlands would get off their high horse and just be chill about it. You don’t need to like the franchise, it’s okay. Anyone demanding that you like it is just delusional. 

It’s okay to not get the humor, it’s okay to dislike the characters, it’s okay to dislike the story, it’s okay to dislike the game! 

I just really, really wish that people would just let the people who do enjoy the humor, and characters, and story, and game, well...enjoy it. Let us have the Borderlands that we love. Stop demanding that it change to suit your personal preferences better. Stop shitting on the people who enjoy it just so you can enjoy some sort of intellectual high ground. 

I’m just gonna leave it with this

I don’t like Undertale! yeah, crazy right? but I don’t. I tried it, I really did, but the gameplay frustrated me, the humor flew right over my head with a few exceptions, the music irritated my ears, and I couldn’t really stand most of the characters except like...that dapper ghost fellow. He was cool. 

But yeah, I don’t like Undertale. And people always act shocked and bewildered when I admit that, and sometimes people get really defensive of it! 

But here’s the thing, just because I don’t like Undertale, doesn’t mean I think it’s a bad game. The gameplay was frustrating, but I don’t really like bullet hell games so that’s probably why. Megalovania and Ghost Fight are the only two tracks in the game that don’t make me want to mute the sound. Almost none of the jokes landed, the only thing I laughed at was the two dogs in the snowy area. And I really didn’t like the characters, they all rubbed me the wrong way. Yes, even Goat Mom. 

But all of that is just...me. Undertale is a beloved game by so many people, so it obviously did something right. It’s just not for me. And that’s okay. I’m not gonna demand that it change so I can enjoy it, and I don’t think people are “cringey” or whatever for enjoying it! I’m glad that it has such a loving fanbase!

So yeah. The next time you wanna call a game “cringey” or take some weird moral high ground just because you dislike a game, whether its Borderlands or something else entirely, maybe take a few moments and ask yourself, are you making an actual, valid criticism? Or are you just confusing your own personal bias with objectivity? 

[relationshipadviser-blog]

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipqia.com/must-see/louise-redknapp-strictly-put-the-fire-back-in-my-belly-but-it-didnt-break-up-my-relationship/

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

For 19 years, the former Eternal star gave up everything to play housewife to her famous footballer husband. So what does it feel like to have walked out on that life and reinvented herself?

The night before I meet Louise Redknapp, I go to see her in her latest West End show, 9 to 5 The Musical. She plays Violet, the character made famous by Lili Tomlin in the classic 1980 film, and in many ways the most obviously feminist character in the story. Redknapp herself is very enjoyable to watch, stomping around the stage, furiously pointing out that men get promotions for laughing at the bosss jokes while she is not even thanked for making the coffee. But, not long ago, this casting would have seemed bizarre.

Redknapp has been in the public eye for a quarter of a century, but she has never exactly been associated with feminism. After studying at the Italia Conti stage school, Louise Nurding, as she was then known, shot to fame at the age of 18 in the early 90s girl group Eternal, and then cemented her celebrity status by achieving that ultimate 90s ambition, marrying a footballer Jamie Redknapp, the son of manager Harry. Their telegenic union the pretty pop star and equally pretty sports star predated the Beckhams, but the Redknapps were a less flashy proposition. When their first child was born, in 2004, she quit her by then solo music career to live in what she frequently described as domestic bliss. Redknapp came across as sweet, unthreatening and a bit bland, and seemed destined for a contented life as a Surrey housewife with her two sons, Charley, now 14, and Beau, 10, living among the footballing dynasty. But then, in 2017, Redknapp did something that no one expected: she walked out of her marriage.

I meet Redknapp, 44, in a room in the Savoy hotel in London, just above the theatre where she is appearing in 9 to 5. As well as performing tonight, she will spend the afternoon finishing work on her upcoming album, Heavy Love, her first in 18 years, which will be released in October. Whatever emotional toll her divorce which was finalised in December 2017 has exacted on her, it has certainly motivated, or freed, her professionally.

Redknapp as Violet Newstead (centre) with Natalie McQueen and Amber Davies in 9 to 5 The Musical. Photograph: Simon Turtle

In tight black trousers, ankle boots and a loose dark top, her hair long and highlighted in various shades of gold and auburn, she looks almost identical to how she did in her pop heyday. She embraces me with the easy warmth of one who is very practised in the art of making strangers like her.

Did you see the show last night? Did you like it? Its fun, right? Oh good, Im so glad. You liked it, right? she says with more nervousness than I had expected: she was the one, after all, who chose a new storyline, and walked away.

We talk about the show, and Redknapp eagerly brings up how timely its revival is, off the back of the #MeToo movement. She insists she never experienced any sexual harassment when she was working as a 90s pop star and appearing in mens magazines: Maybe because I was so young, she suggests, which isnt the most credible reason. Or maybe because [Eternal] were so successful so quickly, so the record company cocooned us, she adds, which seems more plausible.

And yet she does feel a personal connection to 9 to 5: You know, its about female empowerment and I think Im at a stage of my life when I really need that, to stand up and be strong, she says.

Although Redknapp makes frequent references during our conversation to her gang of girlfriends, seeing her onstage the night before was the first time I had seen her surrounded by women since her Eternal days. For the past 20 years, whenever she was photographed she was invariably with her husband. I tell her it always surprised me that she was never part of the group of high-profile wives and girlfriends of other footballers, given how ready-made she seemed for that role. But she was never photographed out having a laugh with Colleen Rooney and Cheryl Cole. I think Jamie, being that slightly bit more old school, didnt want any of that. His sport is what comes first, no circus around it. So I just kept to myself, she says.

When Redknapp confirmed, in September 2017, that her seemingly perfect marriage was over, the circus around the two of them could hardly have been more hysterical. While the British public is very used to footballers leaving their wives, no one seemed to know what to make of the narrative being reversed.

It was more mutual than that but, yes, I moved out, she says, carefully, when I ask if she initiated the divorce. She was followed by battalions of paparazzi every night and the celebrity press tutted at her late nights on the town (to the theatre, where, at the time, she was starring in Cabaret).

With Jamie Redknapp in 2010, seven years before they split up. Photograph: Paul Grover/Rex/Shutterstock

At around the same time, Wayne Rooney was accused, again, of infidelity when he was caught drink driving with a young woman who was not his wife. But whereas Rooneys actions were treated with a benign just-Wayne-being-Wayne shrug by the public, Redknapp was nationally castigated for having a midlife crisis and abandoning her children. Did she notice the disparity between the coverage of the two stories?

I did. I felt it. And I felt really, really bullied. It made me want to scream. Just because I went back to work and my marriage wasnt working out doesnt mean I wasnt with my kids, she says with a rod of fury in her voice. And, yeah, when I was in Cabaret I wasnt putting them to bed every night, but its no different to a man in the City working late.

Or Jamie doing late-night football commentary? Yeah, on A League of Their Own. Jamie would then take the kids on holiday and the papers would say: Oh, what an amazing dad. And he is an amazing dad; I cannot say a bad word about Jamie when it comes to being a dad. But no one patted me on the back when Id taken the kids on Easter holiday on my own for the past 10 years. Jamie had to work doing the football, it was school holidays, so Id take them on holiday and never once did anyone say: What a great mum. It was really tough sitting back and not speaking up.

There was such widespread bafflement at Redknapps decision to leave her marriage that there was inevitable speculation about why. Many cited Strictly Come Dancing, on which Redknapp had appeared the previous year, and its record of ending relationships. Strictly put the fire back in my belly, but it didnt break up my relationship. After 20 years of marriage, it takes a lot more than that, scoffs Redknapp.

It was also suggested that Redknapp was having an affair with the model Daisy Lowe, who had appeared on Strictly with her. Redknapp reels back against the sofa when I mention this.

I really think the double standards were coming into play there, she says. Because people were adamant there had to be a specific reason for you leaving your husband? She nods: Yeah, and Daisy and I only went out together four times or something. So the idea [that I left my husband for Lowe] I remember my kids saying: Mum, are you going out with Daisy Lowe? And I had to say: Guys, no. I became peoples morning entertainment while they read their paper on the train and ate their croissant. I tried to laugh it off, but the damage these stories were doing to me and those around me was huge.

Redknapp or Louise Nurding as she was then with her Eternal bandmates in 1994. Photograph: Tony Larkin/Rex/Shutterstock

In order to understand the end of a marriage it is necessary to understand its beginnings and, for all the lurid speculation, the path that led the Redknapps to divorce was all too prosaic. When they married in 1998, she was at least as big a star as him, but she happily gave up her music career to be a wife and mother: It took me so long to get pregnant the first time four years so I was just so in love with my little boy, she says. And, for the first seven or eight years, it was quite nice to not have to worry about where your records going, or if people like you. But as time went on, Id drop the kids off at school, go home, walk the dogs and then go home and think: I have five hours until school pick-up. Thats a long day. It was fine when they were young, because Id pick them up at 12. Then it changed; theyre at school and doing sport, Jamie was doing his thing, and there was pure panic. I was lonely and I felt like I had nothing to say.

Redknapp and her ex-husband have been careful in speaking only positively of one another throughout their divorce, but hints of other narratives shine through the cracks. She refers to him as a family man and their marriage as traditional, and while he grew up in a close, old-fashioned family, she was the daughter of a very independent working mum, and, yes, maybe subconsciously, she agrees, that might have created some problems between them. She was not a football fan (No, never, she says, firmly and proudly), so I ask if it was ever a tiny bit dull being ensconced with the Redknapps, given that her then husband, father-in-law and husbands cousin, Frank Lampard, are all football royalty. I think I just got used to it, she says with a winning smile.

Redknapps explanation about the split is that she had low self-esteem and didnt feel able to say she wanted to start working again, and in no way was that her ex-husbands fault. I wish Id spoken up and said how I felt, but I thought everyone would think I was nuts and say: Why are you low? Look at you, youre so lucky.

But if you had spoken up, would Jamie have been OK with you going back on the stage and in the studio? She pauses: I dont know. But at least Id have known I tried, she says.

So it was easier to leave than to say anything? Her voice drops: Maybe. We women dont make it easy for ourselves.

Given Strictlys record of ending relationships, I ask if she agreed to be on the show because she saw it as a way out of her marriage. You know, I like to think no. I like to think not at all. I think I just went into Strictly looking for something to do.

These days, Jamie still lives in the Surrey family home and Redknapp is a few minutes away and they share custody of their children. It is clear that she feels liberated by her divorce, so I ask if she plans to revert to her maiden name. She looks poleaxed by the suggestion. Ummm no. Its such a mum thing, but the thought of not having the same name as my kids, I could cry thinking about it. But maybe if Jamie gets married Id have to change it I dont know how that works, she says with an anxious giggle.

This leads us to talking about dating, and whereas Jamie has been photographed with several women, Redknapp has remained single. Its really hard for women. Im beginning to think Im never going to meet anyone Ive not been out for a meal, just me and a guy in a restaurant, in two years. That makes me sound really sad, doesnt it?

It takes a while to get over a 19-year marriage. Yeah, I think its easier for men, she says.

With her dance partner Kevin Clifton on Strictly Come Dancing in 2016. Photograph: PA/Guy Levy/BBC

It doesnt upset her when she sees her ex-husband out with other women (But, yes, of course, its hard for the boys. I tell them, Dads a single man and hes doing nothing wrong, she says). Sometimes, though, it is a bit strange. The day before we meet, he was photographed with the British model Lizzie Bowden, who was widely described in the press as a Louise Redknapp lookalike. It is kinda weird! And then I start looking at them thinking, Do they look like me? But hes got his taste, she says with a shrug.

I like Redknapp. Yes, she has that tendency, common to graduates of stage school, of affecting immediate intimacy, but there is an emotional honesty to her that is almost certainly born from the ordeal of the past two years. It is impossible not to cheer for a woman who for so long was defined in relation to others first a pop group, then a husband taking the risk to strike out on her own. And although many were surprised when she left her high-profile marriage, there has long been a more independent streak in her than her hotter-than-average girl-next-door image suggested. She did, after all, leave Eternal in 1995 after their hugely successful debut album to launch her solo career.

Id just had enough, she says. We were very different and had different directions. We werent harmonised. Girl bands are tough.

Does she mean they were fighting? Not fighting, just, um, different, she says, diplomatically.

She talks excitedly about her plans for the next decade: more albums, more musicals, and, of course, bringing up two teenagers.

But what Id really like to do is buy the rights to a movie and produce a stage show from it, she says.

Any in particular? Thelma and Louise, she replies, and smiles.

Louise Redknapps new single, Stretch, is out now. She appears in 9 to 5 The Musical until 29 June

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog]

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipguideto.com/must-see/louise-redknapp-strictly-put-the-fire-back-in-my-belly-but-it-didnt-break-up-my-relationship/

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

For 19 years, the former Eternal star gave up everything to play housewife to her famous footballer husband. So what does it feel like to have walked out on that life and reinvented herself?

The night before I meet Louise Redknapp, I go to see her in her latest West End show, 9 to 5 The Musical. She plays Violet, the character made famous by Lili Tomlin in the classic 1980 film, and in many ways the most obviously feminist character in the story. Redknapp herself is very enjoyable to watch, stomping around the stage, furiously pointing out that men get promotions for laughing at the bosss jokes while she is not even thanked for making the coffee. But, not long ago, this casting would have seemed bizarre.

Redknapp has been in the public eye for a quarter of a century, but she has never exactly been associated with feminism. After studying at the Italia Conti stage school, Louise Nurding, as she was then known, shot to fame at the age of 18 in the early 90s girl group Eternal, and then cemented her celebrity status by achieving that ultimate 90s ambition, marrying a footballer Jamie Redknapp, the son of manager Harry. Their telegenic union the pretty pop star and equally pretty sports star predated the Beckhams, but the Redknapps were a less flashy proposition. When their first child was born, in 2004, she quit her by then solo music career to live in what she frequently described as domestic bliss. Redknapp came across as sweet, unthreatening and a bit bland, and seemed destined for a contented life as a Surrey housewife with her two sons, Charley, now 14, and Beau, 10, living among the footballing dynasty. But then, in 2017, Redknapp did something that no one expected: she walked out of her marriage.

I meet Redknapp, 44, in a room in the Savoy hotel in London, just above the theatre where she is appearing in 9 to 5. As well as performing tonight, she will spend the afternoon finishing work on her upcoming album, Heavy Love, her first in 18 years, which will be released in October. Whatever emotional toll her divorce which was finalised in December 2017 has exacted on her, it has certainly motivated, or freed, her professionally.

Redknapp as Violet Newstead (centre) with Natalie McQueen and Amber Davies in 9 to 5 The Musical. Photograph: Simon Turtle

In tight black trousers, ankle boots and a loose dark top, her hair long and highlighted in various shades of gold and auburn, she looks almost identical to how she did in her pop heyday. She embraces me with the easy warmth of one who is very practised in the art of making strangers like her.

Did you see the show last night? Did you like it? Its fun, right? Oh good, Im so glad. You liked it, right? she says with more nervousness than I had expected: she was the one, after all, who chose a new storyline, and walked away.

We talk about the show, and Redknapp eagerly brings up how timely its revival is, off the back of the #MeToo movement. She insists she never experienced any sexual harassment when she was working as a 90s pop star and appearing in mens magazines: Maybe because I was so young, she suggests, which isnt the most credible reason. Or maybe because [Eternal] were so successful so quickly, so the record company cocooned us, she adds, which seems more plausible.

And yet she does feel a personal connection to 9 to 5: You know, its about female empowerment and I think Im at a stage of my life when I really need that, to stand up and be strong, she says.

Although Redknapp makes frequent references during our conversation to her gang of girlfriends, seeing her onstage the night before was the first time I had seen her surrounded by women since her Eternal days. For the past 20 years, whenever she was photographed she was invariably with her husband. I tell her it always surprised me that she was never part of the group of high-profile wives and girlfriends of other footballers, given how ready-made she seemed for that role. But she was never photographed out having a laugh with Colleen Rooney and Cheryl Cole. I think Jamie, being that slightly bit more old school, didnt want any of that. His sport is what comes first, no circus around it. So I just kept to myself, she says.

When Redknapp confirmed, in September 2017, that her seemingly perfect marriage was over, the circus around the two of them could hardly have been more hysterical. While the British public is very used to footballers leaving their wives, no one seemed to know what to make of the narrative being reversed.

It was more mutual than that but, yes, I moved out, she says, carefully, when I ask if she initiated the divorce. She was followed by battalions of paparazzi every night and the celebrity press tutted at her late nights on the town (to the theatre, where, at the time, she was starring in Cabaret).

With Jamie Redknapp in 2010, seven years before they split up. Photograph: Paul Grover/Rex/Shutterstock

At around the same time, Wayne Rooney was accused, again, of infidelity when he was caught drink driving with a young woman who was not his wife. But whereas Rooneys actions were treated with a benign just-Wayne-being-Wayne shrug by the public, Redknapp was nationally castigated for having a midlife crisis and abandoning her children. Did she notice the disparity between the coverage of the two stories?

I did. I felt it. And I felt really, really bullied. It made me want to scream. Just because I went back to work and my marriage wasnt working out doesnt mean I wasnt with my kids, she says with a rod of fury in her voice. And, yeah, when I was in Cabaret I wasnt putting them to bed every night, but its no different to a man in the City working late.

Or Jamie doing late-night football commentary? Yeah, on A League of Their Own. Jamie would then take the kids on holiday and the papers would say: Oh, what an amazing dad. And he is an amazing dad; I cannot say a bad word about Jamie when it comes to being a dad. But no one patted me on the back when Id taken the kids on Easter holiday on my own for the past 10 years. Jamie had to work doing the football, it was school holidays, so Id take them on holiday and never once did anyone say: What a great mum. It was really tough sitting back and not speaking up.

There was such widespread bafflement at Redknapps decision to leave her marriage that there was inevitable speculation about why. Many cited Strictly Come Dancing, on which Redknapp had appeared the previous year, and its record of ending relationships. Strictly put the fire back in my belly, but it didnt break up my relationship. After 20 years of marriage, it takes a lot more than that, scoffs Redknapp.

It was also suggested that Redknapp was having an affair with the model Daisy Lowe, who had appeared on Strictly with her. Redknapp reels back against the sofa when I mention this.

I really think the double standards were coming into play there, she says. Because people were adamant there had to be a specific reason for you leaving your husband? She nods: Yeah, and Daisy and I only went out together four times or something. So the idea [that I left my husband for Lowe] I remember my kids saying: Mum, are you going out with Daisy Lowe? And I had to say: Guys, no. I became peoples morning entertainment while they read their paper on the train and ate their croissant. I tried to laugh it off, but the damage these stories were doing to me and those around me was huge.

Redknapp or Louise Nurding as she was then with her Eternal bandmates in 1994. Photograph: Tony Larkin/Rex/Shutterstock

In order to understand the end of a marriage it is necessary to understand its beginnings and, for all the lurid speculation, the path that led the Redknapps to divorce was all too prosaic. When they married in 1998, she was at least as big a star as him, but she happily gave up her music career to be a wife and mother: It took me so long to get pregnant the first time four years so I was just so in love with my little boy, she says. And, for the first seven or eight years, it was quite nice to not have to worry about where your records going, or if people like you. But as time went on, Id drop the kids off at school, go home, walk the dogs and then go home and think: I have five hours until school pick-up. Thats a long day. It was fine when they were young, because Id pick them up at 12. Then it changed; theyre at school and doing sport, Jamie was doing his thing, and there was pure panic. I was lonely and I felt like I had nothing to say.

Redknapp and her ex-husband have been careful in speaking only positively of one another throughout their divorce, but hints of other narratives shine through the cracks. She refers to him as a family man and their marriage as traditional, and while he grew up in a close, old-fashioned family, she was the daughter of a very independent working mum, and, yes, maybe subconsciously, she agrees, that might have created some problems between them. She was not a football fan (No, never, she says, firmly and proudly), so I ask if it was ever a tiny bit dull being ensconced with the Redknapps, given that her then husband, father-in-law and husbands cousin, Frank Lampard, are all football royalty. I think I just got used to it, she says with a winning smile.

Redknapps explanation about the split is that she had low self-esteem and didnt feel able to say she wanted to start working again, and in no way was that her ex-husbands fault. I wish Id spoken up and said how I felt, but I thought everyone would think I was nuts and say: Why are you low? Look at you, youre so lucky.

But if you had spoken up, would Jamie have been OK with you going back on the stage and in the studio? She pauses: I dont know. But at least Id have known I tried, she says.

So it was easier to leave than to say anything? Her voice drops: Maybe. We women dont make it easy for ourselves.

Given Strictlys record of ending relationships, I ask if she agreed to be on the show because she saw it as a way out of her marriage. You know, I like to think no. I like to think not at all. I think I just went into Strictly looking for something to do.

These days, Jamie still lives in the Surrey family home and Redknapp is a few minutes away and they share custody of their children. It is clear that she feels liberated by her divorce, so I ask if she plans to revert to her maiden name. She looks poleaxed by the suggestion. Ummm no. Its such a mum thing, but the thought of not having the same name as my kids, I could cry thinking about it. But maybe if Jamie gets married Id have to change it I dont know how that works, she says with an anxious giggle.

This leads us to talking about dating, and whereas Jamie has been photographed with several women, Redknapp has remained single. Its really hard for women. Im beginning to think Im never going to meet anyone Ive not been out for a meal, just me and a guy in a restaurant, in two years. That makes me sound really sad, doesnt it?

It takes a while to get over a 19-year marriage. Yeah, I think its easier for men, she says.

With her dance partner Kevin Clifton on Strictly Come Dancing in 2016. Photograph: PA/Guy Levy/BBC

It doesnt upset her when she sees her ex-husband out with other women (But, yes, of course, its hard for the boys. I tell them, Dads a single man and hes doing nothing wrong, she says). Sometimes, though, it is a bit strange. The day before we meet, he was photographed with the British model Lizzie Bowden, who was widely described in the press as a Louise Redknapp lookalike. It is kinda weird! And then I start looking at them thinking, Do they look like me? But hes got his taste, she says with a shrug.

I like Redknapp. Yes, she has that tendency, common to graduates of stage school, of affecting immediate intimacy, but there is an emotional honesty to her that is almost certainly born from the ordeal of the past two years. It is impossible not to cheer for a woman who for so long was defined in relation to others first a pop group, then a husband taking the risk to strike out on her own. And although many were surprised when she left her high-profile marriage, there has long been a more independent streak in her than her hotter-than-average girl-next-door image suggested. She did, after all, leave Eternal in 1995 after their hugely successful debut album to launch her solo career.

Id just had enough, she says. We were very different and had different directions. We werent harmonised. Girl bands are tough.

Does she mean they were fighting? Not fighting, just, um, different, she says, diplomatically.

She talks excitedly about her plans for the next decade: more albums, more musicals, and, of course, bringing up two teenagers.

But what Id really like to do is buy the rights to a movie and produce a stage show from it, she says.

Any in particular? Thelma and Louise, she replies, and smiles.

Louise Redknapps new single, Stretch, is out now. She appears in 9 to 5 The Musical until 29 June

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[bitterdrake]

Big Boy Rant

guilty pleasures shouldn't exist. u should be able to love whatever u want without feeling guilty about it. however that doesnt mean u shouldnt call out the bullshit that comes along with it. for example i LOVE the vampire diaries. yet i can still acknowledge its unoriginality, mary/gary sue characters, repetitive plots, and how it jumped the shark by like the third episode without getting all butthurt. i know it has little to no real quality. i hardly gain anything from watching it. but bitch i still like it! YET IM AWARE! what i'm really sick of is the glorification of all these mediocre and bland shows that get off the charts ratings just because people are so obsessive with so obnoxiously fake characters. i'm talking about shows like pretty little liars (great plot at the beginning but do not try to tell me it didnt go downhill after the second season), riverdale (i love this show but there is not one even slightly original thing about it), thirteen reasons why (great actors, horrible everything else), orange is the new black (amazing characters, amazing plot, but the writers absolutely slaughtered everything that was good about it by the end of the third season), etc. etc. etc. then you have, like, second tier shows that are written brilliantly like shameless (hyper realistic dialogue, imperfect, relatable, original characters, representation of a ton of communities, call-outs on gentrification and aristocracy), SKAM (realistic representation of modern youth, somewhat typical yet interesting characters, pretty good representation of the gay community also im norwegian so im biased), game of thrones (aint even gonna explain its very well done) that are new and classic but with primarily white characters (before u come at me: shameless has two black main characters, one of which has like two lines total in seven seasons. skam has one muslim actress. everybody is white in game of thrones except for the tribe of people known to be savages and the other kingdom of people made out to be "middle eastern"). while thats pretty typical of western television, it lacks the ambition and fails to demand critical thought from its massive audience. all of the shows mentioned above flourish because of plot twists and like able characters. not strictly unworthy of watching, but not incredibly impressive nor thought-provoking, either. but they're super successful so they don't need to worry about shit that won't make them money. then you have god-tier shows that are cancelled after the second season. lemme just talk up the get down real fast. it's directed by baz fucking lurhmann. love him or hate him, he's super artistic and completely revolutionizes the way certain scenes are filmed. you have actors like jaden smith, justice smith (up and coming actor who was in paper towns and is hot ASF), herizen guardiola (first time actress who is just as amazing acting as she is at singing), jimmy smits (from the west wing, sons of anarchy, and dexter), and giancarlo esposito (gustavo from breaking bad!!). all of the main characters are refreshingly people of color representing both the ghetto and the middle class of the bronx in the 1970s. the plot line is super complex yet easy to follow. the dialogue is equally hilarious as it is heartbreaking. BROTHER U GOT FUCKING MUSIC! this show centers around disco and the very start of rap and hip hop. jaden smith is a closeted gay poet/artist whose story line does not revolve around being gay(!!!!). justice smith plays a young teen named zeke who is a mf good will hunting genius in the making who unapologetically writes honest poetry. the love interest mylene cruz is gorgeous, talented, yet painfully imperfect. her story does not revolved around zeke at all- she focuses on her career as an up and coming disco star and the struggle between fulfilling her dreams and pleasing her abusive, uber christian father. the "mentor", shaolin fantastic, is a drug dealing DJ and graffiti poet who recruits a bunch of high school sophomores (zeke and company) to be word smiths (rappers) for his spinning (DJing, otherwise know as The Get Down!!!). shaolin, peppered in hilariously cheesy bruce lee references, struggles with living authentically and obtaining money via coke dealers. the writing is fresh. its funny. its heart wrenching. its relevant, even though the show takes place in the 70s. just from watching this show i know who tf edward koch is who was actually a huge part of the history of new york and a big reason why racism is pressed into the art of graffiti, thus emphasizing the importance of expression within the black community. that being said, this show isn't anti-white or whatever the fuck u "reverse racists" try to pin it as. there are white graffiti artists, white businessmen who play a huge part in zeke's life, and white helpers of the puerto rican uncle trying to make a difference in the bronx. the issues of classism, racism, censorship, and familial struggles are addressed without being one-sided. this show educates you. it makes you laugh, cry, and most importantly makes you think. and it got cancelled cause yall motherfuckers are too busy losing ur shit over stupid drama and okay looking white actors (cole sprouse aint got shit on justice smith and thats the mf tea on that!) don't get me wrong: like whatever u wanna like. but u simply cannot deny the blandness of popular television when there are a variety of amazing, less popular shows that you can actually get something out of. with great power comes great responsibility !! when your audience is that huge, you have the opportunity to spread deep and worthwhile messages to the masses. i'm not saying make all shows political or whatever. i feel like the main message (that is often took for the opposite due to its romanticization of gossip) of pretty little liars is to not be a fake bitch!! idk what the FUCK riverdale is trying to say, and dont u dare come to me saying 13 reasons why is trying to bring awareness to depression bc that is some neurotypical bullshit, and yes not all shows need to have some higher meaning but isnt that the appeal of story telling? the bible? cant stop yall from having bad taste and like you do you but i want you to know that im fucking pissed the get down got cancelled and thirteen fuckers why is getting a second season that is all goodbye